#Regret nothing though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-sunhold-coven · 5 months ago

Text

Alarik SFW alphabet

As promised I now present Alarik's SFW alphabet! This is written as he would be at the beginning of your relationship since I don't want to spoil too much of how the relationship will develop. I hope it'll still give you a little peek into his mind.

The alphabet is under the cut, hope you enjoy it.

A= Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Alarik used to know how to be soft and show his care with soft touches and gentle caresses. It was calming before, grounding even. He has never been one for grand declarations of love, of great words that may or may not be only that, words. But touch, he could do that. And he used to adore it, letting his finger intertwine with the one he cared for, simply basking in the presence of each other, with the gentle touch as a constant reminder that they were both there.

But now even that feels distant and cold. His softness has faded over time, slowly eroded over years and years of learning how to hurt and harm, of learning how to kill. Now he doesn’t know how to do it anymore, how to make his scarred and calloused hands touch gently and softly.

He wants to learn it again though. Because you deserve it, you deserve to be touched with all the care in the world. To be treasured in the only way he would know how. You’ve been through enough harm, harm he was responsible for. Never again.

B= Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start)

Alarik has always been picky with those he lets close, never hostile nor purposefully hurtful, but he takes his time to warm up to people. And he would do so with you as well, keeping you at arm's length as he gets a read on you. Over time he would come to respect you, not for anything as fleeting as strength, but for your integrity.

And with that respect would come a consideration for you that goes beyond his normal care for those around him. He would never say outright that he has grown fond of you, that he values your presence, and that he feels completely content sitting beside you in silence. But he would always ensure that there is an empty seat for you and the food he makes is something you like. And Gods help the sorry fool who would make you uncomfortable or cause you harm.

C= Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Like affection, it was something he used to thrive on. Now he’s not sure that he trusts himself with it, that he could lie beside you and trust that he would not harm you on his worst nights. There are nights when ghosts of the past linger in the back of his mind, where he’ll lurch from bed in cold sweat and he would need a moment to recognize where he is. Would he know you then? Or would his mind look upon your sleeping form and see danger?

He could lie beside you for a while, still so as to not jostle you, he could wait until you fall asleep before he moves to a chair or even the floor. Maybe he could learn it again, only time will tell.

D= Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He was restless in his youth, filled with big ideas of protecting his country and the people who live in it. Longing for a purpose and direction that the humble village he came from could not give him. Sometimes he misses that young naivete that drove him to join the army.

But he has learned over the years, that what you are doing means nothing next to who you are doing it with. Whether it is the calm and quiet of a domestic life or to keep working as he always has, looking for the next little adventure beside the people dear to him.

E= Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He has always been blunt, never seeing the benefit of dancing around the subject at hand. But that would not work here, it would only cause even more harm than what he needs to say. “We need to talk,” he would begin, those four dreaded words that always seem to herald bad news.

He swears he tries to soften the words, to make this just a little bit less jarring. But the words need to be said and in the end, there is no good way to say them. He would linger after they had been spoken, waiting to see what the other needed. If they need to scream and shout at him, he’ll be quiet and take it, if they need to cry, he’ll let them use his shoulder if they wish to, or if they simply want him to leave, he’ll let them be alone.

F= Fiance (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

In truth, he committed the moment you passed that line to becoming something more than friends. The man falls slowly but when he does, he does so hard and as those last barriers between you shatter, you will have his heart and soul all to yourself. He has never been good at casual relationships, having to learn the hard way that that is not true for everyone else.

Even so, he’d like to get married someday, to see a ring on your finger that would tell the whole world that you are his and that he is yours.

G= Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Alarik is learning it again, he is trying to relearn how to be soft and gentle. But it is a work in progress, and he’ll need patience.

H= Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

An embrace is an intimate thing only shared with those closest to him, but even so, there are other touches that mean far more to him. He has always been partial to holding hands, there is something about intertwining his fingers with a loved one’s that brings warmth and calm to his soul. The touch might seem casual to those who see it, but unless they look closely they won’t see the way his thumb gently caresses the back of your hand nor would they see the reassuring squeezes he would give.

I= I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He doesn’t even notice that he said it. The words fell from his lips in a murmur, a quiet confession and resolute promise contained in those three words that could barely be heard even in the quiet of night. It is the first time he’s said it, to you at least, and the certainty of the words stuns you for a moment. There is no demand for you to return it in his gaze, which is far softer than you’ve ever seen it before. He’ll wait for you to be ready, knowing full well it hasn’t been that long since you crossed that line to becoming something more. For you, he’ll have all the patience in the world.

J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they get jealous?)

It is an ugly beast, the one that claws inside his chest when he sees someone leaning too close to you to be friendly. This is a new feeling to him, not having someone to care for, but that sense of dread and the wish to drag you away from the annoying bastard that has your attention.

His inadequacies all seem glaringly obvious when he watches the interaction. Why would you not want someone else, without the baggage of his past and the scars both without and within, someone who’s soft and gentle in a way you deserve. He won’t get in your way, but he can’t stand to watch.

K= Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Those first few times will be tentative and careful. His calloused hands would come up to cradle your face, with a whisper of touch so careful it almost can’t be felt. He would inch towards you, searching your eyes for any signs of hesitation or reluctance while his breath ghost over your lips. He won’t be the one to close the distance, far too worried he’ll somehow do it wrong. Lips parting in anticipation as he waits for you to take the plunge.

When your lips finally brush against his you’ll be met with tentative movements, as if he could somehow hurt you even in this tender moment. The kiss is long and sweet and it’ll take all of Alarik’s restraint not to deepen it. He’ll grow more confident in time, more trusting of himself but until then there will always be a part of him that will hold him back.

L= Little ones (How are they around children?)

They bring out his patience, children and animals have that effect on him, making his heart calm down in a way few things do. He could sit for hours, playing along with their games and listening to them rant and rave about whatever they wanted, only occasionally butting in with a small comment or question to show he’s listening.

It reminds him of taking care of his younger sister, may she rest peacefully, how she’d hang on to his every word and shadow his every step. The memories are bittersweet, but he does not mind reliving them like this, they keep her alive in a way.

M= Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

There is something about making breakfast for you that warms his heart, to let you rest for a few more moments while he cooks for you. The smell of coffee and eggs will fill the quiet room as he waits for you to wake up. There is a particular intimacy to the act, to taking care of you in one of the only ways he feels he can.

N= Night (How are nights spent with them?)’

He won’t sleep by your side, not yet at least, but he won’t mind laying by your side until you drift off. Then he’ll slip away to sleep elsewhere, where his nightmares will bother no one but himself.

P= Patience (How easily are they angered?)

He is not quick to anger, he rarely raises his voice, and never resorts to threats or violence unless it is the only option. However, he is quick to be annoyed.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail or forget the minor things?)

He’ll remember the things that matter, what makes you smile, what makes you sad, and what makes you uncomfortable. There will always be a portion of his mind dedicated solely to that, to always keep your comfort in mind. He might not remember each and every detail about you, but when something is important to you he’ll never forget it.

R= Remember (What is their favorite moment of your relationship?)

There will come a point where he’ll choose to let you in, to see all of him, scarred and flawed as he is. If you stay, if you see all of him and don’t look away he’ll remember that for the rest of his days.

S= Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would never want you to get hurt in his account, you’ve suffered enough and he’s… he’s not worth it. He shares responsibility for the pain you endured, and there are few things he would not do to ensure you never have to feel pain like that again. If it comes at his expense it is a price he would pay, gladly.

T= Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He has never been good at this, he’ll show you tenderness and love each day with everything he does, but when it comes to dates and gifts he just can’t seem to do well. It is not for lack of effort, he swears he tried to make something special for you. He spent weeks figuring out a gift for you, but when he told Midora what he planned to give you she gave him the most pitying smile he’s ever received as she asked if there was time to get you something else.

U= Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Alarik gets stuck in his own head sometimes, mulling the same incessant thoughts over and over in his mind. He struggles to break the cycle when it starts and can spend hours locked in place by his own mind. It is almost always something or someone else that forces his focus elsewhere, a sound or sensation that makes his thoughts turn elsewhere. Since Lady became his companion she is most often what helps him in these moments.

He knows he does this, and he knows that it’s not helpful. But he doesn’t know how to stop.

V= Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It’s proper procedure to keep yourself well groomed and clean, beyond that he doesn’t really care. He has matters far more important than that to worry about. But if you show interest in him he’ll feel himself becoming self-conscious for the first time. He’ll find himself combing his hands through his hair when it gets dishelved and smoothing out creases in his clothes he’d never bothered with before.

W= Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

As soon as you become close to him he’ll carve out a permanent place for you in his heart. Nothing will change that, and if you leave there will always remain an empty space in his heart in the shape of you. There are many such hollow spaces, places where loved ones used to be. He’s used to caring for nothing but ghosts and memories, yours will be bigger perhaps, and always ache in a way the others don’t but the principle is the same. Your memory will always be cherished and he’ll always be yours, even after you are long gone.

X= Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

Believe it or not, he used to be worse, even more closed off and silent than he is now. He felt lost for a long time, only living for the never-ending conflict of defending a border that no one gave a shit about anyway. He thought he’d find it among the Witch hunters, and he did, in a way. Lady gave him a purpose outside of service, something to care for after the plague claimed most of his family. He will always be grateful for her, and he loves that hound like family.

He also likes to whittle animals, even making a miniature version of Lady that lies somewhere among his belongings.

Y= Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like in general or in a partner?)

People with the inability to admit their wrongdoings have always been and will always be among his least favorite people. Fucking up is natural, everyone does it, Gods know how many mistakes he’s made. But those who keep making the same mistakes over and over out of sheer stubbornness? Those that commit wrongs but never strive to make up for them? He can’t understand them, and he hopes he never does.

Z= Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

Sleep is a necessity, an unfortunate one for Alarik. He rarely gets a full night of uninterrupted sleep, the years he spent in the military forcing his mind to always be alert. Relaxing is at this point a near-foreign notion.

He’ll spend most nights twisting and turning, waiting for sleep to claim him while at the same time dreading what shadows his mind will plague him with tonight.

But as time goes by, when he might even let you sleep alongside him, he’ll find those ghosts in his head will grow more silent. Your steady breaths next to him chase away the worst of nightmares, and your soothing warmth will calm his nerves so that maybe, just maybe, he could sleep all the way til the sun rises again.

#interactive fiction #the sunhold coven #sfw alphabet #Alarik #I spent far too much time on this #Regret nothing though

22 notes · View notes