#Regis would be APPALLED

[maggiec70]

Maréchaux d'Empire: La gloire pour destin

Quelle horreur!

On the other hand, this book will keep me alternating between guffaws and serious eye-rolls for days.

The "replacement" for David Chandler's anthology, Napoleon's Marshals, published in 1987 with each of the 26 mini-bios written by for-real scholars [and not just Americans, either] is this November 2023 anthology edited by Francois Houdecek, who holds forth at the Sorbonne, claims to be a "disciple" of Jean Tulard [I believe M. Tulard has thousands of those!], and is involved in all sorts of activities and scribblings involving Naps. He is also responsible for gathering and organizing vast quantities of Napoleon's correspondence, so kudos for that.

However--and oh, my! what a huge "however" this is!--the 26 contributors range from the marginally average Pierre Branda to the apparent dregs of French scholarship whose names have never resonated outside the borders of Gallica. Each of these articles is depressingly cardboard, flimsy with details, utterly bereft of any attempt at analysis or understanding of the individual's character, talents--or lack thereof--and other useful and expected details, even in an anthology. These contributors apparently competed to see who could write the most drivel using the fewest sources. Naturally, I went straight to the entry about Lannes, and by the time I reached the end, I had permanently dislocated my eyebrows. The "author" of this travesty is Jacques-Olivier Boudon, whose credentials, on paper, are impressive but whose knowledge of Jean-Boy is worse than passing; it is non-existent. The reason for that is based on M. Boudon's sources:

He cites Lannes’ “official dossier” in the SHD, which I copied before I left, so I know every page and every sentence in it, and I know you won’t find squat that is useful unless, of course, you care how much putting on Mozart’s Requiem cost, and who sang the tenor solo.

High on the hit parade list is Regis de Crepy’s smarmy bio of the Lovely Louise, another book I can quote endlessly. Boudon used one letter from that.

Boudon also took bits and pieces from the three more recent French biographies by Dammame, Zins, and Willette—although the latest was published in 1994—and explained what I thought about them in a previous blog.

The absolutely most hysterical “source” is the 2002 historical fiction by a lovely 93-year-old woman, Penelope Le Fers-Dupac, who lives in Lectoure and who I know [I also know the biographer Jean-Claude Dammame, but that’s another story]. This novel is called “Le Mousquetaire de Napoleon: L’autre vie du marechal Lannes.” Make of this what you will, but it is the wonderfully entertaining, hilarious, and fictional tale of Jean-Boy’s first marriage.

I am appalled that this person didn’t do justice to Jean-Boy in an anthology where he would have shone at the top in capable hands. I know who's the real expert here, and I certainly don’t mind if someone also chooses to write about My Guy. But he or she had damn well better get it right, and this French morceau de merde massacred his subject.

BTW, joachimnapoleon, have you encountered Vincent Haegele? He did Murat no favors here, either. Thanks for reading the rant. I feel better.

[blueelectricroom]

Notes on School Days and Rule Days First week of September always has me recalling elementary school, which is a mixed bag of revery and post-traumatic stress. Today it dawned on me, decades after the fact, that the tablet form of Pepto Bismol, as well as fruit-flavored Tums, would have been mighty handy, circa 5th-8th grade. Normally a lunchroom tray loaded with mock Salisbury steak, something resembling mashed potatoes, and the world's best yeast rolls would bring no major distress to my young GI system. But it goes without saying that the elementary school landscape is a minefield of emotional and social hazards, to which mild indigestion and nausea are common responses, post a cafeteria visit.

For example, one morning the supply counter at our book room ran out of Bic medium-point pens. I had planned to settle for a fine-point in blue, but only black was available. Using a fountain pen was out of the question, because I was writing in a St. Regis 80-page bound notebook, as opposed to the sturdier stock of a better brand of loose-leaf. (I don't even need to say what the liquid indigo mix from a fountain pen would have looked like after only a few lines.) Long story short: my work that morning comprised several pages of deranged glyphs in scratchy, black ballpoint. By the time we strolled into the lunchroom I was a wreck.

There were other episodes. A substitute teacher in our 6th-grade science class once referred to Cardinals as "redbirds" and seagulls as "water birds," yet I'm certain I saw our principal hand her an envelope stuffed with small bills after the three o'clock bell. One afternoon on the playground a stitch in the cuff of the left leg of my plaid flares completely unraveled. You can guess the rest. Another day, a plurality of what can only be described as "C" students in music class voted to make "The Streets of Laredo" the official performance for the boys.

An even worse moment was that Monday morning our teachers introduced yellow chalk. The idea — or rather, the sales pitch — was that yellow text on those green chalkboards would be provide less eyestrain than would white. But we had grown accustomed to the clean, spartan, and yes, traditional aesthetic of white chalk on green. Years of it. In my small but discerning circle we cared about that kind of thing. I recall shooting a glance at Pam, Jill, and Rick as soon as that first yellow stick began its hideous journey across the board. They may have registered even more disdain than I did, which is saying something. Two of the smartest kids in class were quietly sobbing. Laurie left the room without asking permission. I don't recall ever seeing her again.

And yes, we went to lunch mere hours after the appalling incident. Having learned from Mr. Morrow (science) that the human skeleton was made of calcium carbonate, as was chalk, and that the substance was also used in Rolaids, I assumed I could place a small portion of dust from the board eraser on my tongue and survive another taxing meal in the cafeteria. But my nemesis, John (with whom I had a running feud through that entire school year) mentioned that, if I didn't like how yellow chalk looked on the board, I would hate what it might do to my teeth. And that, alone, is why you keep your friends close but your enemies even closer. And not just during math and lunch.

[raven-6-10]

@sparklecryptid

Beautiful. Perfect. Ridiculous. Exactly what I was imagining and More!

(but you forgot to tag it)

*

Someday in the future, during Ace's "I'm Pretending I Don't Have a Crush On Nyx" Phase:

Jean: When are you going to confess your crush to Nyx?

Ace: I don't have a crush on Nyx!

Jean: If you say so. ... I guess you wouldn't mind if I invited him on a date, then.

Ace: Don't you dare! Nyx is Mine!

Jean:

Ace:

Jean: }:)

*

Mercury is So Chill about her parentage. Because, yeah, it was either magic or weird science.

(Considering she lives in Niflheim, she was mostly sure it was actually the Science!!! She sounds, almost disappointed, it turned out she has magic)

*

@hamelin-born

There are in fact two separate and only vaguely overlapping Judging groups.

Meaning, the Bastards are Appalled their bio-dad slept with an Actual Daemon Accursed who looks like a trash troll.

Meanwhile, everyone else is Judging Regis for sleeping with Niflheim's High Chancellor who looks like a trash troll.

Clarus: I can't believe you didn't recognise him, Regis. His picture was in the briefings.

Regis: -

Clarus: You did not recognise him, right? RiGhT?! Regis, tell me you didn't sleep with the Chancellor on purpose. Regis?! REGIS!!! Come back here, Regis!!!

*

Cor would like to formally petition the Crystal and Bahamut to change Regis' Epithet. It's slow going because Regis keeps sending him on missions to delay him

*

Ardyn has very nice memories of his time with Regis. Very Nice.

He wouldn't mind repeating the experience, he says while winking at Regis.

(Several Bastards who have seen this want Brain Bleach. Please)

I was thinking about how a combination of All the Bastards verse and Ardyn's kid verse could possibly look like (mostly, involving Jean & Mercury's childhood shenanigans) and then. I Had an Idea.

Specifically, what if Jean was one of the Bastards.

Either a trans or secretly female Ardyn, who thought it would be Funny to seduce a Lucis Caelum, especially one who will likely be the sire of the newest Chosen King (it's been nearly 2000 years, after all).

Only, oops, now there is a baby and Ardyn has to rework the entire Master Plan for Revenge (tm).

Featuring:

Ardyn going on the Find If Regis Has More Bastards Trip nearly a decade earlier (the man knocked up a daemon, there's no way normal contraceptives actually worked for him);

the Bastards having considerably less respect for their bio-father's taste and judgement (really, Dad, the trash hobo troll?);

and what is possibly the Most Awkward Run-Into-Your-Ex Ever when Ardyn comes to Insomnia to deliver Nifheilm's terms, Jean trailing behind (Clarus and Cor are side-eyeing Regis. Regis is avoiding eye contact. Ardyn is there, smirking).

Jean is not sure what to make of the silver eyed boy who just set his father on fire. In the boys defence, Ardyn had been acting creepy so Jean can’t be too angry at the kid.

Not to mention, the kid is his half brother and it wouldn’t do to start off on the wrong foot.

“Hi,” Jean says and waves at the boy from his place in a tree, “We’re brothers!”

The boys mouth opens.

Closes.

Opens again to ask a question everyone would like the answer to:

“How many of us are there?!”

“Including us? Four! There’s probably more!”

The poor boy looks like he wants to stab someone.

“Please don’t stab my dad,” Jean says.

The other boy looks at Ardyn.

“Alright,” he says, “But can’t I stab your father?”

Jean and Ardyn both grin at the distinction.

“If you really want to.”

-

The boys name is Ace, as Jean finds out, and Ace is friends with Nyx and Libertus and there is steel in Ace’s eyes when he introduces Jean to them.

Mine, the light in Ace’s eyes says and it makes Jean want to laugh.

-

It’s ridiculous how many of them there are.

It’s ridiculous.

Mercury stares at Jean from across her plate of sweets. She’s the daughter of a disgraced noblewoman of the Empire and likes chaos too much to be healthy.

“I have siblings?” Mercury says, “You’re my brother?”

“…The Lucis Caelum part meant nothing to you!”

“I already blew a few things up with my mind,” Mercury dismisses the claim, “It had to be that or weird science shit.”

[gharashambles]

Okay, but listen. I have an art-idea now. Just Regis and Astarion having a conversation. That's it

Regis and Astarion at the same time: Do you ever stop talking? 

[thecoleopterawithana]

"I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted" I think this quote is so telling but I haven't seen much commentary on it. Do you have any particular thoughts? It seems to put John in a very sad light. And to me it's one of his most revealingly repressed-gay quotes, but maybe there's another way to interpret & I'm overstepping.

Hello there, dear anon! 

I hope you’re still around to see this! As usual, I’ve taken an appalling amount of time answering this thought-provoking ask. However, in this instance, that “appalling amount of time” is probably over a year; a new record for me. Wherever you are now, I hope you are well, and if my ramblings don’t reach you, may they interest others. 

I also have to admit that at the time I received this ask, I was most likely not equipped to understand all the layers of meaning in this sentence. And it’d be quite presumptuous of me to assume that I am completely prepared now. But let’s just hope that my ability to perceive their nuances has grown since then, and will continue to do so in the future. 

Needless to say, this is only my current interpretation, and I welcome any commentaries that will help broaden it! (And please don’t fret for a second about offering your own interpretation and somehow “overstepping”; we’re all just having a decades-spanning conversation here.)

Now, on with your question.

First, let’s integrate that sentence in its full quote:

Q: So, John. You and Paul were probably the greatest songwriting team in a generation. And you had this huge falling out. Were there always huge differences between you and Paul, or was there a time when you had a lot in common?

JOHN: Well, Paul always wanted the home life, you see. He liked it with daddy and the brother… and obviously missed his mother. […]

JOHN: So it was always the family thing, you see. If Jane [Asher] was to have a career, then that’s not going to be a cozy family, is it? All the other girls were just groupies mainly. And with Linda not only did he have a ready-made family, but she knows what he wants, obviously, and has given it to him. The complete family life. He’s in Scotland. He told me he doesn’t like English cities anymore. So that’s how it is.

Q: So you think with Linda he’s found what he wanted?

JOHN: I guess so. I guess so. I just don’t understand. I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty. But you don’t really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d married Jane (Asher) because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like – boom! She was in and that was the end of it.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld, at St. Regis Hotel, New York City (5 September 1971).

So, the interviewer inquires about their differences and similarities during the relationship, probably to assess the pervasiveness of the clashes that supposedly led to the “huge falling out” in “the greatest songwriting team in a generation.”

And John answers that “Paul always wanted the home life.” 

At first glance, and following the logic of what was asked, one might assume John was pointing to a difference that always existed between them. And an irreconcilable difference at that, given that it’s the first thing he points out in answer to a question that is probing for sources of conflict that might explain their falling out.

So we get a feeling that John saw Paul having a family as incompatible with Paul maintaining a partnership with him. They were mutually exclusive; thus, Paul getting a family resulted in a falling out between them.

That right there carries a lot of implications already.

Because John himself also wanted the “complete family life”:

Q: But with that much experience behind you, now, would you like to have more children?

JOHN: Yeah, I – as – as many as come, you know. If Lennon roll out, as they. [thoughtful] I like large families. The idea of it.  

— John Lennon, interviewed by Brian Matthew (13 November 1965).

And we shouldn’t take his disappointment with the suburban life in Weybridge as proof that he’d given up on that fantasy. It’s all about the circumstances, in the end; who you’re sharing your dream with. 

After all, Yoko herself came with a “ready-made family”: a six-year-old daughter named Kyoko, who she was fighting to get the custody of, after divorcing the father, Anthony Cox, in February 1969; by then John and Yoko would even have a baby of their own. 

This would all eventually fall through, as Yoko suffered a miscarriage in late November 1968, and Cox would disappear with Kyoko in 1971. Yoko would not see her daughter again until almost three decades later.

So you could see how John could have felt resentful of the family life Paul had built. Always perfect mirror images, Paul was living the dream, while John’s turned into a nightmare.

But with John, the situation is always doubly complicated. Because if he was often envious of Paul, John was also jealous. Note that “envy is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you’re worried someone’s trying to take what you have.”

So we have to go back to his first answer. We’ve established that wanting “the complete family life” was something they had in common rather than something they differed in. 

But Paul wanting a family is still presented here as a reason for their falling out, or at least tangentially related. And John goes on to present his theory about how Paul’s choice in life partner was based on who could provide that for him. It wouldn’t be the career-focused Jane, or the inconsequential groupies. 

And it couldn’t be John himself.

We should also note that, in answer to the second question, it is made clear that John’s previous declarations were but a retrospective interpretation of what happened. As he goes on to admit, at the time, John was surprised by Paul marrying Linda instead of Jane.

And that is how we finally get to the sentence in question: 

“I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted.” 

A possible first layer of meaning is what I’m guessing you meant by this being “one of his most revealingly repressed-gay quotes.” 

1. The emphasis being placed on John never knowing what he wanted in a woman, and thus not being able to know what Paul would find more desirable in a wife.

He does go on to use admittedly questionable pronouns: “I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty.” It happened in other instances in this interview:

I just realized that [Yoko] knew everything I knew, and more, probably, and it was coming out of a woman’s head. It just sort of bowled me over, you know? And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld, at St. Regis Hotel, New York City (5 September 1971).

So one could see how, at this time, John was struggling to manage the differences between male and female partners. As Cynthia put it:

I think he was trying to find himself a… what he’d call a soulmate. Someone who had as mad ideas as he had. I think he felt that she had the talent… but that’s debatable. But he needed that— he didn’t need a ‘mumsie’ partner at that point. He needed a mate. And I think he actually said, at some stage, in an interview that, you know— She’s the nearest thing to a man — a mate; man — that he’s ever had in a woman.

— Cynthia Lennon, interviewed by Alex Belfield for BBC Radio (2006).

Another angle that I find curious is:

2. The parallel drawn between Linda’s knowledge of Paul’s wants (and her ability to satisfy them) versus John’s.

“[Linda] knows what he wants, obviously, and has given it to him.” / “I never knew what he wanted”

This one integrates a theme I’ve been interested in exploring recently: their epistemology of each other. Basically, assumptions of knowledge; when it works out and when it doesn’t.

1968: I wonder should I call you but I know what you would do

JOHN: Well, [‘How Do You Sleep’]’s an answer, you know? Paul, uh, personally doesn’t feel as though I insulted him or anything. ’Cause I had dinner with him last week, and he was quite happy.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Mike Douglas on The Mike Douglas Show (12 February 1972).

1973: And I know just how you feel / And I know now what I have done / And I know and I’m guilty (yes I am) / But I never could read your mind

In this specific case, he could be humbly admitting he never knew what Paul wanted. But another possible reading of the sentence is the exact opposite:

3. The assumption that they were so connected, so much like a single entity, that to know himself was to know Paul. That their wants and needs are aligned, and what John wants must be what Paul wants.

I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted.

1967: I am he / As you are he / As you are me / And we are all together

1969: I know you, you know me

The mirror image of this interpretation would be Paul’s own thought-provoking declarations:

[T]he Beatle thing is over. It has been exploded, partly by what we have done, and partly by other people. We are individuals— all different. John married Yoko, I married Linda. We didn’t marry the same girl.

— Paul McCartney, for Life Magazine (7 November 1969).

Q: Will Paul and Linda become John and Yoko?

PAUL: No, they will become Paul and Linda. 

— McCartney press release (9 April 1970).

And finally, I believe another very important facet expressed in this sentence is:

4. The theme of John not knowing what he wants for himself.

I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. […] But you don’t really know what you want until you find it.

This is a sentiment that John has expressed before.

JOHN: Weybridge won’t do at all. I’m just stopping at it […] I think of it every day — me in my Hansel and Gretel house. I’ll take my time; I’ll get my real house when I know what I want. You see there’s something else I’m going to do, something I must do — only I don’t know what it is. That’s why I go round painting and taping and drawing and writing and that, because it may be one of them. All I know is, this isn’t it for me.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Maureen Cleave for the London Evening Standard (4 March 1966).

JOHN: I think, in one way, all of us were under the slight illusion that we might— or maybe it wasn’t an illusion and maybe had we pushed harder we would have got what we wanted, but I’m not sure that anybody really knew what we wanted. We knew we didn’t like what was happening but nobody quite knew what it was that we wanted, cus we’d never had it!

This is another very fascinating avenue I’ve been wondering about. 

John Lennon, the Dreamer, not actually knowing how that dream would manifest. Him having a vague romantic idea of what he wanted, but not really knowing how to practically bring it about. 

[Imagine here a whole essay of John versus Paul in the studio, and their contrasting abilities to materialize the sounds they heard in their head and turn them into something that others could experience with them.]

In conclusion, these are about all the potential levels of nuance I can read in John’s statement at the moment. All of them fascinating and worth exploring. So I’m truly grateful to you for giving me the perfect opportunity to do so. 

It would fill me with joy to have this conversation continued with all who feel like adding their own perspectives to it!

[weebsinstash]

Can I ask about that self indulgent fic you're writing? 👀 I love those 'get stuck in another universe' type of fics, especially if it's yandere. Sounds like every daydream I've had lol.

It's the Final Fantasy XV idea I mentioned a while back, but I've been getting so many different ideas that I guess you could say there are several stories im thinking of lol. Abo, not abo, shorter versions for specific characters, so on so forth

It's just fnfjckcjf oddly comforting to think of being on a nice road trip with them. Their whole adventure is just so fun and cute. My core idea was a sort of AU where, before the events of the game, Noctis and the crew basically get thrown of out the house for one full year because Regis realizes his son needs to grow a little more as a man and see more of the country before he eventually takes the throne, so the boys are basically just wandering the continent when they find Reader just kind of passed out in the middle of nowhere, like suspiciously far from civilization kind of passed out, and after the whole "where am I,who are you" stuff they decide "well we're travelling for our quest, and you need to search for idk a magic portal or whatever, and we would feel really shitty leaving you out here when there's obviously something funky going on, maybe its destiny, why don't you come with?"

They teach you about their world and you share some things with home. You get all wide eyed and excited at all the new plants and animals and always have questions and they all think it's so cute, but you also have plenty of fun facts and knowledge of your own that helps the team out of a jam more than once. Also it's SO self indulgent and dumb and doesn't make sense but I like the idea of readers phone still being connected to the internet in their world so reader can like, share stuff with the boys like music or recipes or just like, stuff from home in general (deadass, just borrow one of them there multiverse sim cards from the dlc aliens lmao)

But eventually it's made pretty obvious through several different events and occurrences such as still having your wisdom teeth (rip, literally had all 4 of mine pulled JUST last week, im fucking 23), not having a full education, so on so forth, things that let them know you've actually had a pretty miserable, unhappy life, far worse than any of them believe you deserve, and your world has so many crazy unfair things going on that just completely shocks and appalls them ("why would your government make you pay for your own education, let alone so MUCH, that's insane!") So it kind of becomes a situation where all 4 of them don't want you to go home because they have feelings for you and don't think it's safe for you back home.

And then if you add in all the ABO ideas, that can make things 👀 tense. Because for that idea my brain legit ran away from me and it became this whole big thing where you get taken back to the crown city and the king has a prophecy and something with the crystal or destiny happens and apparently you were sent to this world for a reason so now you've got cool magic shot and you get trained and sent back out with the boys when they leave for Altissia (as in the beginning of the game) becauseeeeee I like drama and I liked the idea of reader having to begrudgingly travel with them but like, as a bad ass now

[secret-engima]

What if the Nox Verse Dissidia nabbed an extra person for each side on accident? I mean, Noctis and Nox being two people but also one, mystically speaking, leaves an opening for a really mind breaking issue. Two-is-one-is-two, brothers-but-not, new-and-old-remade, WTH? Well, if things are going to go sideways ANYWAY, might as well make it Memorable. So it nabs Ardyn. And Regis. See? Another mindbending mix of brother-but-not and new-and-remade should even things out. Maybe. At least it's funny?

Pffft THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS??? That would be HILARIOUS.

-Noctis and Regis are, of course, called by Materia, they are both equally confused and so very relieved to see each other in this strange place, though Noctis is freaking out a bit because DAD IF YOU’RE HERE WHO’S RULING THE KINGDOM and the Champions are very surprised to see a dad-son pair here that AREN’T on opposite sides like Tidus and his dad.

-Regis totally gives Materia a Dadly dressing down on kidnapping people from their worlds and homes without warning or permission, because some of us have kingdoms to run thank you, and the rest of the Champions just stand their being surprised and impressed that this newcomer is LECTURING Materia like she’s a wayward teenager out past curfew. They still end up agreeing to help, mostly because Materia admits she has no clue how to send them back yet.

-Regis takes control of the situation as best he can and keeps Noctis with him when they all go out searching (and is more than a little exasperated because what is, this a story book plot?) and things are going well-ish when suddenly a large red sword slams down at the feet of Regis's group and Noctis and him look up in shock and dread to see Ardyn leering down from above with Nox lounging nearby. Both of them have identical maniacal expressions on their faces and Regis feels a swoop of dread when he realizes his half-brother and eldest son are on the opposite team. He’s seen their spars with Cor. He knows what’s about to happen.

-“Ardyn....” he warns as he pulls a sword free and Noctis curses softly under his breath (and in any other circumstance he would scold his son for that kind of language but just this once...).

-Ardyn’s grin gets bigger and he sweeps his arms out theatrically, “Well, well, well. Look what we have here, Dearest Nephew! Lost, royal relatives! All alone! Without their bodyguards! On the opposite side of yet another conflict! Whatever shall we do?”

-“Ardyn,” Regis grits through his teeth as Warrior and Cecil look between the four in alarm, “do not even think about it.”

-Nox tilts his head and there is Mischief in his son’s gaze as he drawls, “I don’t know, Uncle, whatever SHALL we do?”

-Ardyn adjusts the hat on his head and hums in thought and Regis feels like groaning in exasperation because CLEARLY his half-brother is hamming it up for the unknown audience. CLEARLY. Ardyn is such a drama queen, honestly. Then Ardyn grins, “You know, Dear Nephew, this is an opportunity don’t you think? The two Scions of the Royal house, unguarded out here where no one else from our world is around to know what happens while the two of us, the forgotten, illegitimate children of our generation are also here with a perfect excuse to do battle?”

-Regis can see Warrior and Cecil putting the pieces together in all the wrong ways and sighs, “Ardyn, Nox, I swear to the Astrals-.”

-Nox just laughs and begins tossing one of his kukri up and down, “You thinking what I’m thinking, Uncle Mine?”

-“That I would look quite fetching on my half-brother’s throne? Yes, yes I am.”

-And before Regis can do more than sigh at them, the fight has started.

-Regis is proud to say he holds his own pretty well against the pure manic energy that is his half-brother and eldest son, and he and Noctis work together remarkably well for having never been in the training grounds at the same time before.

-They still lose, because Ardyn is a whirlwind of pure magic energy and Nox is a striking viper and Regis’s knee hasn’t been up for this kind of idiocy since he was twenty-one. Ardyn spots his knee giving out and calls a stop to the fight with a PAINFULLY melodramatic and cliche excuse. Regis isn’t sure what he’s more appalled at, that Ardyn actually said it with a straight face or that it was clear their new comrades BELIEVED IT hook line and sinker.

-Astrals Regis needs a drink.

-Ardyn and Nox casually saunter off and Regis has no energy to explain that no, his half-brother is not actually after the throne and ... debatably not crazy. Neither does Noctis, because poor Noctis had been targeted by Nox almost exclusively and his eldest always did seem to do things overkill.

-Needless to say, by evening, all of Materia’s Champions have heard that their two newest comrades are dealing with an evil uncle that wants to steal the throne and an embittered illegitimate son that the uncle found and has groomed as his weapon and heir against poor Regis and Noctis. Nothing the two say will convince anyone otherwise.

-When the alliance is made and both sides are tentatively ignoring each other for the sake of peace, Ardyn comes over and happily flops down next to Regis, ignoring the way the younger champions all bristle protectively over their new friend with the bad knee. Regis glares at Ardyn, who pouts, “Oh, come now, it was only a little playful attempted murder.”

-“You tried to set my hair on fire.”

-“I knew you were skilled in ice! Nothing would have happened!”

-Regis pinches the bridge of his nose, “Everyone is convinced you’re trying to stage a coup.” There is conspicuous silence and Regis eyeballs Ardyn angrily. The man gives a sheepish smile, “If it helps, I abandoned that plan after Nox came into my custody?”

-Which meant that Ardyn HAD at one point been planning a coup. Lovely. That is not a thought Regis ever needed in his life, “I’m going to pretend I never heard that. Where is my eldest anyway?”

-Ardyn gestures lazily over his shoulder, “Making friends, I do believe we’ll be having company on the way home.” And Regis looks over in dread to see his eldest happily braiding the hair of the extremely deadly, not entirely sane swordsman with long silver hair that Regis has already seen fight once and never wants to actually fight himself. Regis groans and hides his face in his hands, Ardyn pats him on the back with false sympathy, because unlike Regis, Ardyn is having the time of his life.

-“Look at it this way,” Ardyn consoles half-heartedly, “At least we are all together? And in my experience nothing makes for a better father-son or brother-brother bonding experience than facing down the end of all life and reality as we know it and slaying said end of all life in a dramatic and bloody encounter.”

-Regis ... has nothing to say to that really. All he can do is stare at Ardyn through his fingers in the silent wonder of WHEN, exactly, Ardyn faced down another end of all life for the sake of family bonding. Ardyn just grins and doesn’t answer. Because that’s just his half-brother. The other half is troll.

[fearlessswiftielaura13]

Happy Pride Month, you guys! 🏳️‍🌈

Every single year, June is something I can’t wait for. Pride Month is a celebration of love, life, and freedom to live and love however you want. 

Last June, I myself came out as bisexual. I had never thought I would be able to do so, given the fact that I live in a very homophobic country and also an extremely homophobic family. Yet, I found the strength to be myself, truly and freely, here on Tumblr. You guys have been so welcoming and accepted me in the community with open arms and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you all.

I believe, that a person deserves to live freely and without fear, regardless of their race, their ethnicity, their gender identity, their religion, or their sexual orientation. 

With that being said, I’d like to do something to give back to the community. I will be making personal donations to one or a few of the following organisations/funds and I encourage those of you, who are able, (please don’t feel pressured! The economic situation of many right now is difficult and it’s perfectly okay if you are unable to donate!) to do the same. You can also share this post or write your own. 

These include not only the LGBTQ+, but also the organisations that fight for human rights in general, as well as some personal funds and petitions you can sign, in light of the recent appaling events in the United States of America. Right now we have a battle to fight and everyone of us can be a warrior in this battle. 

Black. Lives. Matter. 

Here are some organisations and fundraisers that I have accumulated:

Fundraisers

George Floyd Funeral fundraiser https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

Justice For Regis fundraiser https://www.gofundme.com/f/justice-for-regis

Louisville community bail fund https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/louisville-community-bail-fund/

Ahmaud Arbery justice fundraiser https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-run-with-maud

Organisations and funds

Black Lives Matter https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

LGBT Foundation https://lgbt.foundation/donate

Stonewall https://www.stonewall.org.uk/support-stonewall

The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer & Intersex Youth and Student Organisation (IGLYO) https://www.iglyo.com/donate/

GLAAD https://donate.glaad.org/

National Center for Transgender Equality https://secure.transequality.org/site/Donation

The Trevor Project https://give.thetrevorproject.org/

National Black Justice Coalition https://www.mightycause.com/organization/nbjc

Black Visions https://secure.everyaction.com/4omQDAR0oUiUagTu0EG-Ig2

Reclaim The Block https://www.reclaimtheblock.org

North Star Health https://www.northstarhealthcollective.org

Petitions you can sign

This is a list of petitions you can sign!

If you are unable to contribute financially, please consider sharing this. Every like and reblog matters and is greatly appreciated! If you have anything to add that is not there, please include it in your reblog and I will regularly check and update this list! This post will be pinned. 

Happy Pride Month everybody! 🏳️‍🌈

[prince-noctisluciscaelum]

Whumptober 25: Humiliation

With Your Head Held High

Ardyn decides he wants to defy the Astrals one last time and see how far he can push them before they intervene to put Noctis back in a position to fulfill the prophecy.

OR

Instead of Ardyn arranging Noctis and Luna’s wedding as a part of the peace treaty, he demands Noctis as a prisoner of war.

This is the first part of what will be a multi-chaptered thing. It got a little away from me, so I split it.

It was pure chance that Noctis learned the chancellor of Niflheim was in the Citadel, while he was still in the Citadel. Ignis had been keeping his ear to the ground for any rumors that might circulate in the wake of the ceasefire, and the Glaives who had been pulled back from the frontlines were more chatty than the Crownsguard usually were. And despite Noctis’s usual lack of interest in most things politics, something as big as a potential end to the war had piqued his curiosity. Especially considering the effect it could have on the Wall and his dad’s, and later his own, health.

So Noctis kept his own ears open, and when he heard a whisper that the chancellor had barged his way into Regis’s council meeting and was still there, he didn’t wait long enough to contact Ignis before making his way as quickly as he could without drawing extra attention to himself to the hallway outside the throne room.

The guards stationed on either side of the double doors frowned at him as he sidled up to the doors but didn’t otherwise protest or try to stop him. He was sure they would if he tried to actually enter the throne room, but that wasn’t what he wanted.

Noctis pressed his ear up against the crack between the doors and tried to listen.

An unfamiliar voice was speaking, with enough of a pompous ring of command that Noctis knew it could only be the Imperial chancellor.

“ - wish nothing more than to bring a swift end to this senseless war.” Was the chancellor seriously offering a peace treaty?

“Is that so?” His dad’s voice was as dry as Noctis had ever heard it without taking the last step over into impoliteness, and he knew his own disbelief was mirrored in Regis’s mind. It seemed… a poor tactical decision for Niflheim, considering how badly Lucis was doing in the war. There had to be an ulterior motive, and whatever it was would certainly not be good for Lucis.

“It is indeed. And we require but a singular compliance.” And here it was. The moment of hesitation before speaking said compliance, though really no longer than a breath, seemed an eternity, and it was long enough for Noctis to think up half a dozen awful things. “Save your grand Insomnia here, Lucis must forfeit all territories to Niflheim rule.”

Noctis bit down hard on his lip to keep from gasping. The murmurs of his dad’s Council were audible through the door as they didn’t bother to restrain their reactions as Noctis had done. Unsurprisingly. That was definitely not good for Lucis, and really, as far as an offer of peace went, it was a pretty bad one. It wasn’t a peace treaty at all, but rather a sugar-coated demand for surrender.

The Council’s muttering cut off, and Noctis knew Regis had called for silence, just in time for the chancellor to mockingly wax eloquent about the glory of the Crown City. Noctis gritted his teeth at the man’s nerve and thanked the Six that he wasn’t inside the throne room so he couldn’t be tempted to throw a punch at the chancellor and cause an international incident.

Before Noctis’s anger could solidify back into worry for what this ultimatum meant for Lucis, the chancellor spoke again.

“Ah, how foolish of me to forget. There is just one more trivial thing. It concerns your son.”

Noctis froze, his breath stuttering in his lungs. Nothing Niflheim could want with him would ever be “trivial” as far as he was concerned. He didn’t even want to speculate what this could be.

“Crown Prince Noctis will be handed over to the Empire as a prisoner of war.”

He barely heard the Council’s cries of outrage over his own heartbeat hammering in his ears. This could not be happening.

His dad’s voice rose above the cacophony, and Noctis latched onto it to try and ground himself.

“Under no circumstances will you be taking my son. He is the sole heir to this kingdom. I am willing to negotiate peace with Niflheim, but Noctis will not be a part of it.” Intense gratitude swelled up in Noctis, though it was not enough to completely wipe away the shock of the demand. He didn’t realize until after his dad had denied it so vehemently that some part of him had been worried he would agree to it, as ridiculous as that thought was. He knew Regis would just about fight Bahamut himself if he thought it would protect Noctis.

“Do not dismiss my offer so quickly, Your Majesty. You do not know if another will ever be extended. Your own position in this war is a tenuous one, and there are more things at stake here than your son. Or would you put him above the needs of your entire kingdom? Think on it before you make a rash decision.”

Noctis was going to be sick. He didn’t need to be able to see the expression on the chancellor’s face to hear the note of gloating in his voice. The chancellor knew Niflheim had them cornered, and somehow he had realized that Noctis was his dad’s weakness. Then again, most of the kingdom knew that. It wouldn’t take more than a quick glance at how Regis had handled Noctis over the years to realize that Regis would do just about anything for his son. Despite the Council’s repeated warnings, Noctis had never guessed how dangerous that would end up being, never imagined it would lead to Niflheim demanding him as part of a treaty.

But if the chancellor knew that asking for Noctis would work against the terms of surrender, since Noctis refused to consider them terms of peace, why would he do it? Why offer terms that were so one-sided they were guaranteed to be denied? What could he hope to gain?

Footsteps from the throne room pulled Noctis away from his musings, and he scrambled back from the door when he realized the chancellor was leaving, his mind still reeling in shock. Despite his unsteadiness, he managed to round the nearest corner in the hallway before the chancellor exited the throne room, not paying attention to where he was going, just wanting to get away before the man caught sight of him. A private conversation with the chancellor of Niflheim was not high on his list of desires, especially after what he’d just overheard.

He stopped as soon as he was out of sight, closing his eyes as he worked to regain control of himself. He couldn’t afford to be this panicky, otherwise someone, namely Ignis, was bound to ask him what was wrong, and he really didn’t want to have to explain. Not yet. Not ever, if he could help it. Regis had shut the chancellor down in no uncertain terms, and hopefully that would be the end of it, despite the chancellor’s parting barb. Maybe, in a few years, he could forget that this had ever happened.

Noctis was too preoccupied with calming his breathing to notice the soft approaching tap of shoes against the marble flooring until it was too late. He whirled around as his magic prickled in warning just in time to see the chancellor sashay around the corner.

Or at least, Noctis could only assume that was the chancellor. He was certainly no one Noctis recognized, and he would remember if he had ever met someone who dressed like that. Too many layers of outdated clothes in clashing prints under an over-dramatic coat, with a ratty hat perched on top of wild magenta hair. Even Prompto’s eccentric wardrobe couldn’t hold a candle to this. Noctis curled his lip in disgust.

The chancellor paused as he caught sight of Noctis, one corner of his lips twitching up in a smirk. He altered his trajectory and sauntered over to Noctis.

“If it isn’t the crown prince in question!” he said, his voice far too cheery for Noctis’s taste, considering the circumstances. Noctis scowled. He had to force himself not to retreat as the chancellor invaded his personal space.

“Oh my, from your expression I’d guess you overheard at least part of my proposition. Tell me, Noct, just how much did you overhear?” His grin was sharp as Noctis growled at the use of the nickname.

“You don’t get to call me that,” he said. And oh, how Ignis would be appalled at his lack of manners, but the chancellor had done nothing to earn his respect, and even less to earn the right to use his nickname.

“Now, now, Your Highness. You and I are going to have the chance to get to know each other much better.” The expression in the chancellor’s amber eyes was unsettling as he raked his gaze over Noctis. He barely fought back a shiver.

“I overheard enough to know His Majesty told you exactly where you could put your proposition,” Noctis snarled.

The chancellor stepped closer suddenly, and Noctis jerked away from him, continuing to retreat as the man crowded him until his back hit the wall.

“Dear old Dad refused to hand you over, it’s true. But this is the one thing I will not compromise on.” He gripped Noctis’s chin, thumb brushing against his cheek for a moment, so briefly Noctis wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it, and forced him to make eye contact. His eyes burned with a crazed fervor, and his voice dropped lower, losing most of its playful edge. “Whether you surrender as part of these negotiations or are captured when we raze Insomnia, the Empire will have you. All of our Magitek Troops have been programmed to take you alive.”

Noctis’s breath caught in his throat. That was unheard of, and he was almost tempted to think that the man was lying, or bluffing, or just trying to get under Noctis’s skin, but he knew he wasn’t.

The chancellor laughed suddenly, the manic look fading from his eyes, and released Noctis’s chin. He took a step back out of his space, spreading his arms wide.

“So I suggest you give my offer some thought, Your Highness. You have two days to make a decision before any offer of peace is rescinded and the ceasefire comes to an end.” He gave Noctis a shallow, mocking bow before turning and leaving.

Noctis waited until he was out of sight before letting his legs collapse under him. He slid down the wall, trembling as he hid his face in his hands, and worked his jaw to rid himself of the feeling of the chancellor’s grip on his chin. He had already been unsettled enough, learning that Niflheim wanted him as part of the negotiations, but now it was worse. Much worse.

That’s what you get for eavesdropping, he thought. If he had left well enough alone, he wouldn’t have been in the hallway to give the chancellor the opportunity to accost him. But maybe it was better that he knew exactly how much Niflheim, or maybe it was just the chancellor himself, wanted him.

Noctis frowned. The chancellor had said that Noctis was the part he was unwilling to compromise on. Which would imply that the rest of the offer was compromisable. And suddenly the one-sidedness of the offer made a little bit more sense. He felt sick even contemplating it, especially not knowing what exactly Niflheim wanted him for, but it wasn’t like he was doing a good job as crown prince anyways. He was a worthless prince and would be a worthless king, so if this was the one way he could help his people…

Noctis raised his head, glad to see that the hallway was still blessedly empty, and pushed himself up. He needed to talk to his dad.

~*~

“Absolutely not.”

Noctis had gone straight to his dad’s office and holed up there while he waited for him to finish his meeting with the Council. He had been tense the entire time, startling whenever he heard footsteps in the hallway, half expecting the chancellor to barge in and just drag him off. But no one had opened the door until Regis, the distinctive tapping of his cane enough to keep Noctis from actually pulling a sword from the Armiger the moment the doorknob turned.

Any surprise his dad might have felt at finding Noctis in his office had been eclipsed by concern, and maybe a touch of anger, when Noctis had brought up the chancellor’s offer and his own reasons for seeking Regis out.

“Dad, I -”

“No, Noctis. I am not giving you to Niflheim, and especially not to that chancellor.” Regis spat the title, gripping the arms of his chair tightly. Noctis could see the tension in his hands, the clench of his jaw, and knew exactly how stubborn he was going to be about this.

It felt wrong, to be arguing for his own captivity. He wanted so badly to simply hide behind Regis’s refusal, to let his dad protect him, pretend he had never heard the chancellor’s threats and let the war continue as it had for centuries already. But they were losing, everyone knew it, and the Empire would never stop until Lucis was under their heel like the rest of the world already was.

He was not fit to rule, but maybe he was fit to sacrifice himself for his people. Maybe with this he could prove that he wasn’t worthless, or lazy, or self-absorbed, or whatever it was the tabloids were calling him these days. If it was his life held against the lives of the Kingsglaive and all the other Lucian citizens affected by the war…

“You’re sacrificing your life for this kingdom,” he muttered, gesturing bitterly at his dad’s hand, at the Ring of the Lucii where it sat heavy and dark on Regis’s finger. Regis curled his hand into a fist.

“This is not the same thing, Noctis,” he said gently. He smiled, the anger in his eyes softening to sorrow. “You do not need to prove anything to me, or to anyone. I know the burden of the crown is not easy. I know you have struggled to meet your own expectations, perhaps even to live up to whatever standard you think I have set, and I must apologize for any part I may have played in that, but you are doing well. You can ignore the tabloids, they will grasp at any strand they can find or fabricate to sow doubt among the people. But the people will realize, in time. You do not have to throw your life away needlessly.”

“That’s not what this is about!” Noctis protested, even though his dad’s words were an echo of his earlier thoughts. Regis knew him, and his doubts, so well.

“Then what is it? Why are you so determined to sacrifice yourself?”

Noctis looked away, unable to meet his dad’s concerned eyes. “The chancellor met me in the hallway,” he said, “on his way out of the throne room. He threatened me.” He glanced up to catch Regis’s reaction.

“He did what?” Regis growled. His eyes flashed, and Noctis flinched, even knowing the surge of anger was in no way directed at him.

“He told me the Empire would get their hands on me regardless, even if we refuse the terms. He said all the MTs have been programmed to take me alive, and that my surrender was non-negotiable for the treaty.” Noctis could barely hear his own voice. “He said we have two days to decide.”

And that was the driving factor behind Noctis’s decision. He could run, of course, leave Insomnia, try to escape the Empire’s clutches before they attacked the Crown City, and maybe he would even succeed, but what kind of prince, what kind of king would that make him? It was likely Niflheim would capture him eventually. They controlled most of Eos and there were enough people who would be desperate enough to turn him in for whatever bounty they set on his head. He would be a fugitive, unable to trust anyone, and what kind of life would that be? It might be better to head it off entirely, get it over with, and maybe save as many of his people as he could in the process.

Regis stood, walking around the edge of his desk to stand in front of Noctis. Noctis tried not to notice the faint tremble in his dad’s hand as it clutched his cane. Ending the war sooner also meant that his dad could bring down the Wall, could stop letting the Crystal drain his magic and his very life. Noctis considered his own freedom, or even his own life, a small price to pay for that.

“What else are you not telling me, son?” Regis asked quietly. Noctis looked down at his feet. This would be the hardest part.

“It seemed...” Noctis trailed off. He groaned, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to find the words to say without sounding conceited. “Oh, this is so stupid, but it seemed like I wasn’t just something to sweeten the pot. Like I was the reason for all this. I know it doesn’t make sense, it’s stupid, Niflheim has wanted our lands for centuries, but the way he looked at me… And why else would he demand too much from us and then make a point to say that I was the non-negotiable part?” He was babbling and he knew it, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of the chancellor’s fingers on his chin, his eyes raking over his face, and he was so scared.

If he had said this to anyone other than his dad or Ignis or Prompto, he knew it would be brushed off as him thinking too highly of himself. Even Gladio would probably tell him to stop reading that much into it. It wasn’t that out of the ordinary to demand a royal heir as a prisoner of war. Luna had been held under Imperial control since Niflheim had taken Tenebrae twelve years prior, and Ravus was now a member of their military. It was probably nothing, but there had been something so personal in the chancellor’s voice.

But Regis knew him, knew his insecurities, had guessed at part of the reason Noctis was even contemplating going along with Niflheim’s demands, knew Noctis wouldn’t even be suggesting something like this if he didn’t truly believe it. He wouldn’t brush it off as a plea for attention, but still Noctis felt ashamed for even bringing it up.

He opened his mouth to tell his dad to forget it, but Regis grasped his hand, cutting him off.

“Noctis, you are the Chosen King.” There was a flash of some pained emotion in his eyes as he said it, too quick for Noctis to catch or identify. “We have tried to keep this quiet, but if the Empire has learned, then they must know just how much of a threat you really are to them. Taking you, removing you from the equation, puts them that much closer to victory. Even if you were not the Chosen, taking Lucis’s only heir would be enough of a blow. This kingdom will end with me. Even if I appoint a political successor, they cannot wield the Ring, cannot access the Crystal’s magic. Without the Wall, Lucis will fall.”

Regis brought his hand up, gently cupping the side of Noctis’s face. Noctis closed his eyes and tilted his head into the touch.

“I should have stayed away. I should not have been there, should not have given him the chance to threaten us further.”

“Noctis,” Regis murmured. “If Niflheim, if Chancellor Izunia, wants you this badly, they would have found a way to threaten this regardless.”

Noctis pulled away from his dad’s hand.

“I just don’t understand. Wanting me as a bargaining chip, as some sort of insurance as part of peace negotiations, that I understand. But to go so far as to have every single MT programmed to take me alive, to threaten to come after me even if Insomnia falls, why? What could he possibly hope to gain?”

Regis’s brow creased. “That I cannot answer. There is too much we do not know about this situation, and none of the uncertainties bode well for you, or for our kingdom.”

Noctis took a breath, steeling himself against what he was about to suggest. Once he voiced this, there was no going back, and he was tempted to just keep his mouth shut, but he would never be able to forgive himself if he had the chance to do something now and didn’t take it and his kingdom suffered because of it.

“It might… give us an opportunity,” he said, the words ashes in his mouth.

“Noctis…”

“No, listen to me. He said I’m the part he refuses to compromise on. So that means the rest we can negotiate. We can counter with them taking me,” Noctis swallowed, trying hard not to think about what that meant, “and they can keep whatever lands they’ve already fully conquered, but we retain control of Insomnia, Leide, Cleigne, and Duscae, maybe even push for the return of Galahd and the rest of the Cavaugh region, and they withdraw their troops from those territories.” He doubted Niflheim would agree to all of that, but it gave them a place to start and negotiate down from.

It was also likely his dad had already thought of this, or something similar. Unlike Regis, Noctis had never had much of a head for politics or negotiations or strategy, that was what he had Ignis for, so if he had realized the significance of the chancellor’s words, surely his dad had as well. But he knew his dad would never suggest it himself. Noctis knew that in some ways, many ways, Regis put Noctis ahead of Lucis, as the chancellor had taunted, and it did nothing but add to Noctis’s feelings of guilt.

Regis sighed. “It… has merit,” he admitted, and it sounded like it pained him to do so. “However, it will just lead to Niflheim playing a long game with us, even if they honor the terms of the treaty. Once I die, Lucis will be left without a king, and they will be free to conquer our kingdom without much opposition.”

Noctis grimaced. He hated being reminded of his dad’s mortality, but it was necessary to consider in these circumstances.

“So appoint Ignis as your successor. We all know he was going to be the real power behind my throne anyways. He’d make a good king, even without the use of the Ring, and that will at least allow Lucis political stability.”

Regis regarded him carefully. “Just how much thought have you put into this?”

“Enough,” Noctis said. “I had little else to do while waiting for you, and I knew you wouldn’t consider it unless you thought I’d given it the proper amount of consideration.” And that was true, though really it had just been his way of occupying himself so he didn’t dwell on the predatory look in the chancellor’s eyes.

His dad bowed his head. “I would never force this on you, indeed everything in me falters at the thought of even considering this, and perhaps that makes me a bad king. But if this is how you truly wish for us to proceed, I will honor that. This is far more your sacrifice, and therefore your decision, than mine.”

Noctis snorted. “Of course it’s not what I want, but it’s what’s right for our people, and so far I’ve done nothing for them with my life.”

“Noctis,” Regis chided, a note of exasperated fondness in his voice. “You have simply not yet been given the opportunity.”

“Then I’ll take this as my first opportunity,” Noctis said. He pushed down the panic that was clawing in his chest. As much as he had fought for it, he had half hoped his dad would put his foot down on his plan, take the burden of the choice off of him, as he had in the throne room. Noctis suspected the chancellor’s dig had done its job.

Regis rested his hand against Noctis’s cheek again and leaned down to press his forehead against Noctis’s. “You do not have to go through with this. We will carry on as we always have if the ceasefire ends. You will have another chance to do something for your people. The first opportunity is not always the right one.”

This time it was Regis who pulled away, just enough to catch Noctis’s eyes and hold them. “You are destined for great things. You have been Chosen by the Crystal to rid the world of Darkness, and the Astrals will not let you fall until you have fulfilled their prophecy.”

“So, what, you think Bahamut himself will intervene when Niflheim tries to execute me the moment they get me back to Gralea?” Noctis scoffed. “Since when have they cared enough about us, or even their ‘Chosen,’ to interfere? They certainly didn’t stop the Marilith from nearly killing me.”

Regis frowned. “Noctis…” he sighed. He slid the hand on Noctis’s cheek higher so his fingers carded through Noctis’s hair, and despite his frustration, the touch was soothing. It was rare that his dad allowed his affection to spill over into physical contact, so Noctis treasured the moments when he did. And even though he knew it was exactly why Regis was doing it now, Noctis still allowed it to placate him.

He didn’t know how many more times he would have this. If he turned himself over to Niflheim, he would likely never see his dad again. Even if he wasn’t executed immediately, he would certainly never be permitted any sort of freedom, and it wasn’t as though Regis could or should just drop by for a State visit.

Noctis felt his resolve start to crumble as his dad continued to run his fingers gently through his hair. And maybe that was part of his intent with the gesture as well, but then why allow Noctis to make the decision at all if he wanted to dissuade him so badly? It wasn’t as though Regis didn’t outrank Noctis, their familial hierarchy notwithstanding, and he’d never had a problem telling Noctis “no” before.

“Forgive me, my son,” Regis murmured. “Would that protecting you was my only charge. You are the most important thing to my heart.”

Noctis could no longer meet his dad’s overly bright gaze, afraid that the sight of his sorrow would be the final thing to shatter what was left of his determination. He turned his head away, hating that the motion disrupted his dad’s gentle stroking of his hair. Regis’s hand fell away.

They stood in silence for a long moment, Noctis keeping his face downturned, until Regis sighed. There was a rustle of cloth, and then his hand rested on the back of Noctis’s neck, fingers curling in the short strands of hair, and he coaxed Noctis closer until Noctis’s face was pressed into his dad’s shoulder.

Noctis wrapped his arms around his dad, clinging to him tighter than he had since he’d been eight, and finally let his tears fall. He could be strong later, when he wasn’t in his dad’s embrace, and if he didn’t cry now, he would later, when he probably shouldn’t.

Regis stroked his hair tenderly for a moment longer before moving his arm to reciprocate the hug, his other hand still clutching at his cane. Noctis sobbed at the brush of Regis’s lips against the top of his head, and it was suddenly too much.

“I can’t do this,” he gasped into the thick fabric of Regis’s cape before he could stop himself. “I can’t, Dad, not on my own. Please.”

Regis’s breath hitched, and his arm tightened around Noctis.

“I will not order you to do this. I cannot.” His voice broke on the last word. “I’m so sorry.”

“Then order me not to,” Noctis begged, half hoping his dad wouldn’t hear it, muffled by his shoulder as it was, but of course he did.

“Noctis, I -” Regis stopped, his arm tightening around him again, and Noctis felt a tear drip onto his hair. “My love, I want nothing more -”

Noctis shook his head furiously, hating himself for selfishly putting his dad in this situation. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“Stop,” he choked. “Stop, I know.” He broke away from the embrace and kept his head down to avoid looking at Regis, wiping at his eyes to get rid of the tears.

He couldn’t imagine this would be an easy decision to make. As difficult as it was for him, it was only his own life he was bartering. For Regis, it would be the life of his only son, and the horror of having to choose between his kingdom and the last of his family. The choice between being a good king or a good father, and wasn’t that what Regis struggled with daily?

Noctis knew that Regis wouldn’t hesitate to offer his own life up in Noctis’s place, but if their roles were reversed, would Noctis be able to hand his dad over to Niflheim? He didn’t think he could, even if he knew it would be the best option for the kingdom.

Suddenly Regis’s earlier reluctance to either agree or forbid made a lot more sense. With Noctis himself willing, he had given his dad an avenue to save the kingdom, and Regis could not, as a good king, decline, as much as his heart might ache to. And as much as Noctis had been hoping Regis would command him one way or the other, take the choice out of his hands, he realized Regis was also hoping Noctis would decide so he didn’t have to.

Noctis couldn’t make it harder on him. The guilt of this would weigh on Regis heavy enough as it was; Noctis didn’t need to add to it. He would never forgive himself if he did, no matter how long or short the rest of his life was.

Noctis took a deep, steadying breath and finally looked up to meet his dad’s gaze, ignoring the pain in his eyes and the tear tracks down his cheeks. He straightened his shoulders, pushing down the terror that threatened to rise back up in him.

“I’ll do it.”

[ragewerthers]

A Lion’s Roar

Summary:  Getting out of the Citadel can be good... not just for kids, but for Marshal's too.

A/n: Just a bit of fluff I wanted to write because Cor deserves some silliness and fluff in his life!

You can also read on AO3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347809

Enjoy! :D

Word Count: 1904

------------------------------

“Gladio!  Don’t get too far ahead!  Remember what happened last time!” Clarus called, watching his seven year old son run a little ahead of them in the large back garden of the Amicitia residence.  The trees on the property had started to lose their leaves and giant piles of them had been raked up around the backyard and Gladio was making a beeline for the largest.

“I just wanna show Iggy the leaf piles!” the young Shield called back, his hand firmly holding onto six year old Ignis’s wrist as he pulled the poor bespectacled boy along.  The kid looked completely out of his element and like he wanted to rush back to the nearest indoor space he could find.

Cor shook his head at his godson’s enthusiasm and the mild look of panic in Ignis’s eyes.  “Where do you think he’s gonna go, Clarus?  Your entire back garden is fenced in and has hedges thicker than a behemoth’s fur.  He’s not getting out,” the Marshal joked, earning him a little huff from his old friend.

“It’s my gentle way of trying to keep my son from pulling young Scientia’s arm out of its socket,” he explained.

Cor shook his head and turned to look at the two youngsters.  Gladio had finally found the leaf pile that he had been so thrilled to show his new friend.  Ignis seemed less enthused as he walked around the pile, eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out what was so magical about it.

“I think it’s good for Ignis.  To get out and roughhouse.  He needs time to act like a kid and not the little adult others expect him to be at this age,” Cor said with a little shrug as they continued to walk towards them.

Clarus quirked an eyebrow at that and glanced over to the Marshal.  “This coming from the man who started combat training at thirteen and decided to be a ‘little adult’?” he mused.

Cor bristled slightly and shook his head.  “That was different!” he tried to argue, though couldn’t exactly come up with the right way to do so.  Instead he decided to change the topic slightly.  “Besides, Regis asked me to do this because he wanted some time with Noctis.  I was merely following orders.  If you remember I had other matters to attend to today.”

It took everything in Clarus’s power not to roll his eyes as he remembered Regis and Cors conversation a few days prior.  “Don’t give me that,” the Shield snorted, turning back to look at Gladio eyeing up Ignis’s back mischievously.  “I think your grumblings were all a big show.  You saw that Regis wanted time with his son and you also saw young Scientia there being tasked with the duties of an adult.  You wanted him to have a day out just as much as you wanted to help Regis.  I think… you’ve become a big old softy.”

“I’m not a big old softy!” Cor shot back, refusing to meet the smug smile he knew was on Clarus’ face.  “I’m a hardened soldier.  The Immortal.  I am merely following my Kings orders.”

“Mmhmm.  My apologies, oh Marshal,” Clarus snorted before hearing a yelp and turning to see Gladio pushing Ignis into the leaf pile before diving in next to him with a delighted shout.  

The look of surprise on Ignis’s face as he popped out of the leaves and glanced around, glasses askew, had Clarus fighting back a laugh.  Especially as the little Adviser turned to see the smug face of Gladio and promptly tossed a handful of leaves at him with a mischievous little smile of his own.  It was easily noticeable that Ignis thought he was getting away with something truly daring to act out in such a manner.  

“Well… it does seem like your King’s orders are definitely doing the kid some good.  I don’t think I’ve seen him smile like that since he got to the Citadel,” Clarus agreed, smiling more as Gladio laughed loudly at the payback before tackling Ignis into the leaves.  Their combined laughter making his heart feel light.  As he glanced to the side he could see Cor trying to hide his amusement as well and he couldn’t help shaking his head.

Clarus bumped his shoulder against Cor’s and chuckled.  “Come on, smile a bit.  Getting out of the Citadel isn’t just good for kids.  Hell, I can’t even remember the last time you smiled at something,” Clarus pointed out.

“I came close the other day when you nodded off during that meeting,” Cor deadpanned, earning a dramatic gasp from the Shield.

“That was horrible!  That was in front of the Altissia delegation and I looked like an idiot!” Clarus huffed and Cor brought a hand up to cover his mouth, refusing to give into the smile twitching up at the corner of his lips.  To be fair, the night previous to the meeting Clarus had been up into the wee hours of the morning with a slightly sick Gladio and then had to try and sit through a conference on fish trades.  Anyone would’ve nodded off.  The fact that it was Clarus instead of Regis is what had been the kicker.

“I hate to disagree with a senior officer, but it really was very funny,” Cor said, putting emphasis on that particular word as he knew it would get a rise out of the other man.

He was not disappointed.

Clarus paused and turned where he stood, eyes narrowed.  “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice low with warning as Cor smirked.

“Nothing, nothing.  Just that in this advanced age of yours it’s only natural that you might start to nod off like Councilman Maevus,” Cor supplied airily in reference to the eighty-seven year old councilor.

Clarus growled in his chest and glared at the younger soldier.  “I’m only thirty-nine!” he shot back and Cor snorted and waved a hand dismissively.

“Exactly.  You’re almost forty.  And… is that a bit of gray I’m starting to see-ACK!”

Before he could continue his teasing, Cor found himself unceremoniously tackled into another pile of leaves, a disgruntled and vengeful Shield pinning him down.

“How dare you speak to a ‘superior’ officer like that, you little shit!” Clarus growled, grabbing handfuls of leaves and stuffing them up Cors shirt and jacket.  Meanwhile, the Marshal floundered underneath of him, shouting obscenities and trying to push his hands out from under his clothes.

The commotion was enough to draw the attention of the little Shield and tiny Adviser, both of whom had leaves sticking in their hair and clothes as well, as they made their way over.

Noticing the little audience, Clarus smiled brightly at the pair as Cor continued to growl and grumble under the barrage of leaves.  Currently, the Shield was grabbing handfuls and ruffling them into Cors short hair.

“What are you doing to Mr. Cor?” Ignis asked timidly.

“Yeah, Dad!  What are you doing to Uncle Cor?” Gladio asked curiously, a bright smile on his face as he saw the silly display.

“Well your Uncle thought it would be funny to tease your Father.  So now I’m teaching him a lesson,” Clarus explained, pausing in his attack as Cor spit out bits of leaves and twigs that had found their way into his mouth.

“Oh… you shouldn’t do that, Uncle Cor,” Gladio said sagely, ignis nodding along beside him.

“Yeah, well… your dear old Dad started it-NO!” Cor shouted as something much, much worse then leaves up his shirt started to happen.

“Have either of you ever seen a lion smile before?” Clarus teased, his hands having moved to Cors sides, fingers digging in and tickling quickly. Cor tried his best to keep himself from laughing, a wide, forced smile already breaking out over his face and little growls rumbling in his chest as he pushed at Clarus’s hands.  Meanwhile, his legs kicked out behind the man, mindful to not hit the tiny tots as he kicked up leaves in every direction.

Gladio and Ignis’s eyes both widened at the question and they shook their heads making Clarus laugh.  “Hmm… well have either of you ever heard a lion roar?”  As he spoke his hands moved up to attack Cor’s ribs and all was lost for the poor Marshal.

Deep, hysterical laughter escaped the poor man as his ribs were targeted, his arms trying to clamp down on the horrible hands as he tried to burrow deeper into the leaves to escape his attacker.  “Stahahahap it!  Stahp you ahahahasshole!!!” Cor cried.

Ignis gasped at the language, his hands coming up to cover his mouth as Gladio gaped at his Uncle, pointing at him.  “You said a bad word!  Dad!  Dad!  He said a bad word!”

Clarus gasped as well and redoubled his efforts, his hands darting from the mans ribs to his sides to his stomach, leaving the poor Marshal in a ridiculous laughing fit completely unbecoming of a soldier of his caliber.  “N-Not there!  Nono-nahahat thehehere!” he cried out through his laughter, tears of mirth already in his eyes.

“What do you have to say for yourself, Cor?  Swearing in front of such innocent ears!” Clarus chided as Cor jumped as a particularly bad spot under his ribs was targeted.

“AH!  I’m sahahaharry!  Stopstopstahahahap!” Cor cackled, Clarus continuing to wriggle his fingers against that spot.

“Do you also apologize for calling me old?” he asked, unable to stop from chuckling at Cors hysterical laughter.

“Gahahahads!  I do!  N-now stahahap it!” Cor giggled… giggled!

Now Clarus couldn’t stop himself from laughing as well and ceased his attack, standing and leaving Cor a wheezing, giggling mess in the leaves.

“You… a-are… a…,” Cor glanced at the two youngsters standing next to the smug Shield and narrowed his eyes.  “... a Chocobo-butt!”

Gladio, absolutely appalled at his Fathers honor being questioned, threw himself at his Uncle, landing on the poor mans stomach and making him wheeze as the wind was knocked out of him.

“Iggy!  Help me!  He called my Dad a Chocobo-butt!” Gladio called to his friend.

It took Ignis only half a second before following his friend into battle!

Clarus watched as the kids attempted to avenge him, pulling out his phone to take a few pictures of Gladio trying to tickle the Marshals side while Ignis clung to Cor’s arm.  The young Adviser’s attempt to keep him from stopping Gladio.

It wasn’t long before Cor had managed to free himself from the troublesome duo and was running out into the backyard to ‘escape’ them.  The two boys chasing after him with handfuls of leaves, all three of them laughing and shouting.

Clarus couldn’t help the fond smile that broke out over his face.

Getting out of the Citadel really was good and not just for kids.

“Clarus!  Call them off!” Cor cried from where he was running around a tree with Ignis and Gladio chasing after him.

Tucking his phone back into his pocket, Clarus took off after the trio.  “Gladio!  Go to the left!  Ignis, to the right!  We’ll catch him soon!”

“Clarus!” Cor shouted as he took off as the two terrors listened to his friend.

Clarus laughed as he gained on the Marshal, ready to tackle him into another pile of leaves.

Oh yes… it was definitely good to get out of the Citadel.  For kids… and for Marshals.

[chibi-jing]

Is Somnus truly such an asshole?

Hear me right, everything Somnus did in Episode Ardyn was absolutely despicable. But I can’t stop thinking that it was maybe way too despicable to be true…

 FFXV has a very realistic tone and his characters are all complex. Nobody’s perfect, the “good” guys are making mistakes and the “evil” ones all have strong inner motivations for what they did and aren’t completely manichaean (except maybe for Caligo who is definitely an asshole, period XD). To summarize, they’re all desperatly humans.

 But in Episode Ardyn – Prologue, Somnus is shown only as pure evil. He kills hundreds of innocent people and desires the throne so badly that he betrays and murders his own brother without batting an eyelid. Moreover, if Ardyn truly was the one chosen by the gods, then Somnus is defying them and lying to his people with an uninhibited ease solely on the basis of his personal gain…

This gives us two options. First, Somnus IS pure evil. All the Lucis Caelum are the heirs of the founder king’s sins and they contributed to plunge the world into darkness until the last of them, Noctis, finally washes away his family’s sins and frees Eos from corruption. Or second, Somnus is hiding something and only PRETENDS to be evil.

---

In the first case, if the founder king was a bad person it changes the position of the entire Lucis Caelum royal bloodline, making it illegitimate because it has been built on a lie. And that’s entirely possible: as many people reminded me these last days, Regis wasn’t such a good monarch. He’s shown as a good father and a noble man, and you feel sorry for him when he dies in Kingsglaive. But despite this good image, Regis was also the one who shut down Insomnia’s frontiers during the war, letting countless people defenceless against the Niflheim outside his magic wall, and he also let Insomnia fall on purpose only to give a chance to Noctis. So even if he acted with the best intentions, Regis has blood on his hands.

Regarding Somnus, it’s even worse. His decison to rule and to get rid of Ardyn condamned Eos to centuries of darkness: when Somnus kills his brother in the anime a big cloud of darkness is released in the atmosphere, annihilating Ardyn’s months or even years of work. By doing so, Somnus is contaminating even more their world in addition to all the people he already burned and to all the humans who can no longer be saved by his brother. As Ardyn explained to Noctis by talking about himself: “His body would come to host myriad daemons, that countless lives be spared. But a jealous king […] ostracized and demonized this healer of the people.” or even clearer in French: « Meanwhile the king […] decided to eliminate this man who was however the only one who could save his people. », by murdering him Somnus willingly deprived his people of their only known remedy against the Starscourge.

Do you remember how FFXV begins? No, not the Regalia’s malfunction, not the first cinematic either, no, before. Before we even play. The title screen.

The first time FFXV is launched, the title screen appears on a night sky accompanied by “Somnus – Instrumental”. And when the game is finished, the title screen features Noctis next to Luna on an aurora sky accompanied by “NOCTIS”. It’s very clear that FFXV’s story is to go from the dark to the light. You can also remark that in the letters of the logo the discrete white coming from their bottom begins to expel the black, emphasizing the players’ course and Noctis’ quest.

“Somnus” was composed for Versus XIII which was supposed to be a very dark game with heavy thematics such death, also explaining why the Lucis’ iconic color is black. I’m not sure Square Enix knew about Somnus’ character from the time Versus XIII became FFXV, but when they had to create him they surely wanted to remain coherent with what was done in FFXV. So I believe that if they chose to give to Ardyn’s brother the name “Somnus”, it’s because it was relevant. They knew about the song, about its meaning, about its origin. So they gave Somnus this gloomy backstory which accords with the game’s main theme: the world is dark, dying, corrupted and only the King of Light can put an end to all of this and cleanse the world sins, in conformity with what Takefumi Terada said about Somnus: “he became someone opposite character to Noctis”. Instead of providing Light, Somnus is spreading darkness.

 ---

With the second hypothesis, Somnus is undergoing the same tragedy as Ardyn and Noctis: life is playing with his fate and dictates him what he has to do even if he doesn’t want to.

As I said before, the antagonists of FFXV all possess something relatable. For example, before being a mad scientist, Verstael was a loyal soldier who desired to help his homeland the best he could. And we know Somnus isn’t born evil either: in the Q&A video, Toru Osanai revealed that the two brothers were in good terms when they were younger, Ardyn protecting his little brother and Somnus admiring his elder. Besides, he also adds that “Somnus does not really hate or despise Ardyn” and that his ambition is to save the world. So despite being a “realist and severe king”, Somnus isn’t portrayed as a bad guy at all.

Some particular shots from the anime support this theory. For example, Somnus takes no glory for burning hundreds of civilians or after murdering his brother. He doesn’t seem to enjoy what he’s doing but to solely execute some orders. If he truly despised Ardyn or wanted the throne so badly, he would have exulted after killing him, exactly like on the frame where he smiles before attacking Ardyn. But nope, he stands calmly in the empty room, watching the light on the horizon with no satisfaction at all. In the same vein when Ardyn turns into a daemon, Somnus is appalled by his brother’s metamorphosis. It’s like he knew Ardyn would became a monster, but isn’t actually proud at all to unveil it.

So why does Somnus appears so sadistic when he attacks Ardyn or despicable when he says Aera was a foolish girl after murdering her? Probably because he’s acting all along.

Somnus’ attitude in front of the crowd reminds a lot Ardyn’s attitude in FFXV where we all know Ardyn is playing a role. Somnus doesn’t only reveal that the gods chose him to the people, he’s also overacting: broad movements, loud voice, elegant argument, everything is meant to be convincing. The smile on his face when he attacks his elder is part of this role too, because why would Somnus be happy to confront his brother if he doesn’t despise him as Toru Osanai said? Because he wants the throne so badly he’s happy to get rid of his elder? If it was the case, Somnus would have had a triumphant attitude after defeating Ardyn but we saw that he hadn’t. Maybe he wants to measure himself to his brother’s skills? I don’t think either, because if Somnus wanted a fair fight against Ardyn he wouldn’t have smiled when his elder had to interrupt himself due to his illness. No, in reality, Somnus is posing as the bad guy on purpose. Each time he’s in public or talking to Gilgamesh, he behaves like Ardyn is the source of all the problems. And when he’s in front of Ardyn, he deliberatly shows his worst face by undermining him and his lover, to the point where Ardyn finally loses control. But once Ardyn dead, Somnus remains all alone in silence like an empty shell. He has no reason to pretend anymore. He did his job and that’s all.

We understand through the interview with the guys from SE that there are a lot of things that are still secrets but will be revealed in the future DLC. It’s obvious something happened between the two brothers before the beginning of the anime, something that can answer why Somnus is hunting Ardyn, or why is he in power while Ardyn is some kind of poor outlaw despite them coming from the same noble family? Why Gilgamesh is helping him? What are the links between the Lucis Caelums and Bahamut? Why Somnus had to act as he was pure evil and expose the worst of his brother? And even if for now we can’t know what happened we can guess that it probably changed Somnus radically, leading him to behave the way he does in the anime, a way that maybe doesn’t reflect his true self at all.

 ---

To conclude, I’m like everyone with this anime: I don’t know who says the truth, if it was Ardyn or Somnus who was supposed to be chosen, if Somnus is just a cold-hearted man or if he has a backstory that explains his attitude like this anime excuses in some way the hatred Ardyn has towards his family during FFXV, or a mix of these options, honestly I don’t know. That’s why I’m making up these theories, to try to understand the story until the DLC will (and I really hope) finally answer all our questions about the Lucis Caelums and their destiny.

[angelkitty54]

Here’s an angsty omegaverse AU! Like it starts out really bad for Noct here, but I like happy ending so... (Also this gets really long.)

When Noctis presents as an omega at 16 his life is thrown upside down. Not because he has to adjust to being an omega, oh no, it’s how everyone else reacts to him being an omega.

See, Omegas have virtually no human rights in Insomnia (or most of Eos really). The moment they present they’re pretty much stripped of their humanity and given to an alpha, becoming little more than objects, things to be owned and used as their alpha sees fit. No one sees anything wrong with this. Omegas are seen as being incapable of, well, anything. They’re emotional, hormonal, needy, their sole purpose for existing is to produce and care for children. In fact, the only way they can function happily is under the strict care of an alpha who will also appease their sexual needs, and surrounded by children they bore.

It’s been this way forever and no one cares to upset the status quo. No matter how many omegas cry out it suffering their voices will fall on deaf ears. This is the reality Noctis faces when he comes out of his first heat, barely able to comprehend his new status as an omega, let alone what is about to happen to him.

Regis fears for his son, not because he views the treatment of omegas as wrong, but because he’s worried about all the alphas who will try to take advantage of this opportunity to seize power. He believes his son needs an alpha, and he’s determined to find one that he can trust to care for his son. In the end it’s decided that Ignis and Gladio together will be the ones to care for Noctis and rule in his place.

Naturally, Noct is very against this idea. He doesn’t need an alpha, nor does he like to idea of it being his 2 best friends, people he trusts and views as brothers more than anything else. That’s just, ew! But his opinion means very little in the matter, not to mention it’s already been made officail. Regis has signed some very legal documents that take away all of Noctis’s rights as a human being and making him in Ignis and Gladio’s legal property.

Noct is pulled out of school and forced to return to the Citadel where he is kept in confinement. At first he can’t believe this is actually happening, he can’t believe his father would abandon him like this, or that Ignis and Gladio would betray him! He just can’t! But then his second heat comes...

It doesn’t end well...

In this universe, Noct is the one who gave Gladio his scar. Simply put, Ignis and Gladio tried to “care” for Noctis during his heat and Noct panicked and tried to defend himself, like anyone would. But not every omega can pull swords from the armiger...

And in the aftermath, it’s decided that Noct cannot be trusted to wield his own magic. Never that he had a good reason for lashing out. The fault never lies with alpha, it’s always the omega that’s acting irrational and needs to be put in their place...

Like every other decision he’s made since Noctis presented, Regis claims “It’s for his own good” when he performs an ancient, rarely used ritual that strips Noctis of his ability to wield magic. It’s the worst kind of torture, he can still feel it there inside him, but he can’t touch it at all. A fundamental part of himself has been blocked off. And to add salt to the wound, Ignis and Gladio still have full access to his magic, even though he has none.

This is the thing that breaks Noct, that proves he’s been abandoned. His father no longer cares about him, perhaps he never loved him at all... The people he trusted most betrayed him, were they ever even his friends in the first place? He no longer even has his title, or name to fall back on. He is nothing. No magic, no friends, no hope. Just a powerless omega.

Then Umbra comes to him and it all gets so much worse. Noctis had put some of his more treasured belongings (the things he didn’t want taken from him) in the armiger, in a space only he could reach, to keep them safe. Not wanting anyone to go reading through something so personal, he’d put Luna’s notebook in there too. And there it remains, lost forever, just beyond Noctis’s reach. Not even Umbra’s powers can reach the notebook where it is now.

Noctis can only weep in despair. Luna had been the only person who hadn’t abandoned him. Even Prompto saw nothing wrong with what was happening! But Luna had been just as stunned and appalled as he was. She had been the only one to really listen to him. Even miles away, at least she was still there for him. Losing the notebook feels like losing her. He write her a thousand apologies and it will never be enough, he’d lost their most treasure possession.

In the months that follow, despair and bitterness is all he feels most days, some days he feels nothing at all. His 17th birthday comes and goes, and things only get worse. Soon enough, the thing he’s been dreading most happens...

...He’s finally pregnant....

TBC...

[sanjuno]

Noctmari being depressed and coming to terms with dying (being killed and stolen away?) is a perfect smokescreen for Noctis's personality shift. It even accounts well for him 'picking up' new skills like sewing and baking bc active hobbies are good for mental health!Maybe Noctmari can allude to his fathers waning health as a reason he decided to step up too? And his moving back to the citadel? (Not sure what his excuse for bringing Promdrien will be tho, lols. He's my emotional support bf?)

Ooh, that would be perfect! Not only does Noctmari do best when he’s taking care of other people, but it puts Noctmari and Promdrien right at the centre of power, which will give them a lot more opportunity to help fix things. Especially since Noctmari is going to give the Ring the filthiest look imaginable. The incomprehensible mutterings about “… Lucky Charm the stupid gaudy trinket right into…” is getting a bit concerning.

Promdrien just pats Noctmari on the back and does his best to make a good impression on Regis. Because Regis is great. He cares so much and he tries so hard but he’s so tired all the time. Promdrien probably starts handing Regis cookies whenever they run into each other. It doesn’t matter where they are or what Regis is supposed to be doing. Promdrien sees the King? Promdrien is going to hand the King baked goods.

And yes, at some point Noctmari has to look Titus dead in the eye and go “But Captain, that’s my emotional support boyfriend.” and as Titus’ face goes blank in confusion Promdrien lifts his camera and snaps a picture.

The Glaives who witness this are appalled.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E22 (June 12, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham! Baby-naming is done wheel-of-fortune-style before the show starts. Spoiler: Baron Yung Chyld. Laura: “Yeah. It’s not happening.” Also, Mark Hulmes Skypes in from England! We have the technology!

Announcements: Vox Machina: Origins standard editions are still on sale; fanart and gif of the week are now posted on critrole.com; the Talks Machina instagram account is up and running @TalksMachina!

Mark has been watching since campaign one and would get stories from Matt pre-stream. He was delighted that the timing worked out to guest in campaign two.

Cali would love to see the Mighty Nein again. She’s not used to people treating her nicely. Travis on Mark: “He was great. It’s like he’d played D&D before.” He also suspects Mark is in cahoots with Mercer for future story development.

Mark tried a lot of accents for Cali and stumbled across a good one for her when he was just messing around.

Mark wanted the black dragon background as a counterpoint for how nice and sweet Cali was otherwise. If a member of the party had tried to steal from her and she’d found out, her draconic possessiveness might’ve come out even more. She’s very embarrassed of that side of her, and the reaction by Molly and Caleb worked to calm her down immediately.

Mark talks about how welcoming everyone was for his guest spot, so that even when it got intense, he was still very comfortable and having a great time. He felt like they’d all been playing together for ages; going in, he was extremely scared and anxious, but wound up having a wonderful time. He’s told Matt he’ll fly out to LA on a moment’s notice to be on the show again.

The invisibility scroll was a gift for Cali from her foster father and was a bit of an escape rope had she needed to leave suddenly, but she decided it would work out best as a parting gift.

Travis: “I like how when guests come, there’s always a chance one of us will get a new item, whether by gift or by ganking.”

Some in-character mail is on its way from Cali!

@critrolestats​ for this episode: this episode had the most damage dealt by the Mighty Nein: 471 points. Also most damage taken at 208 points. Jester had the first solo HDYWTDT (she’s been part of three, two of which she shared with other members). Ashley rolled her highest initiative roll in the show’s history with a 21. Her previous record was a 20... on a natural 20 with Pike. Kiri has killed two corpses. We’re very proud of her.

Laura on the evil of the dice this week: "You know what? I punished them that night. I’m a forgiving mother, I love all my children, so I put them back in the bag.” She talks about how much more the betrayal hurts when it’s the dice she likes most.

Travis isn’t actively trying to keep anything hidden about Fjord’s backstory, but there haven’t been a lot of natural avenues to reveal it until now. There’s still a lot to come.

Jester has a bit of jealousy over the knowledge that more people worship the Traveler. “It’s kind of like, ‘But the Traveler’s always been mine!’” Travis: “Jester’s a hipster, confirmed.” Laura: “Jester’s the least hipster.” Brian: “She’s like, ‘I was into candy before you.’”

Fjord was mainly taken by the fact that there was a balance of both good and evil tokens in the cache of divine items.

Laura notes that there are voices they do in-game that make her baby start kicking. Matt’s announcer voice from the arena fight got him really worked up. Travis: “’Cause he wants to fight, let him out! Let’s do it!”

Gif of the week: the saga of Fjord with Blink.

Travis now knows that he’s allowed to move between Blinks while using the spell. “I never claimed to know what I was doing.”

It “wouldn’t be good” if Jester returned to Nicodranas. Laura: “There’s a price on my head, yo!” Travis: “How high was the price on your head?” Laura: “I don’t know if it was a price so much as they just want to kill me.”

Travis: “I think Fjord trusts Jester the most, and maybe Yasha the second. I’ve got a lot of trust for Beau, too.” Laura: “I feel like Jester probably trusts Fjord still the most, and then probably Beau after that.”

Jester loves that Beau is so willing to just roll with whatever she comes up with. “Jester isn’t used to having people around her that much. The Traveler was in and out in her childhood, and was probably the person that spent the most time with her. She didn’t have any friends growing up, so having a roommate even is totally crazy.”

Fjord was curious about the eye stone but was going to let Caleb do his normal investigation; it was Matt’s narrative push that got him to jump in. There’s also a bit of Travis sneaking through: he always has to touch hot plates at restaurants, especially right after being told not to. Laura: “He did it at a firepit!” Brian, increasingly high-pitched: “What do you expect was going to happen it was on fire!!” Laura: “He was the kid that stuck the fork in the light socket.” He was.

Jester did indeed know Vandren’s name when Fjord mentioned it, but she won’t reveal any more information than that.

Travis has done a little research into ships for this character. He loves scuba-diving, so the drowning narration was based on some personal experience/instructional guides. He got trapped under a raft as a kid and pulled from that experience as well. Fjord’s connection with the water is tied in with the strong connection Travis has had with the water all his life.

Travis ran out of both Jurassic Park and Neverending Story in the theaters. Everyone bonds over how terrifying Return to Oz was. Laura: “I loved it.”

Things get a little weird when Laura and Travis start acting out a scene in-voice. Travis: “This is what our house is like every night. We have dolls.” Brian: “This is the stupidest show.”

Fanart of the week: Caleb and the past.

Laura’s irritated at the cost for Revivify: now she has to “save all my stupid spell slots for stupid healing because people are dumb and get hurt.” and also save all her money for Revivify diamonds. Brian: “Sounds like cleric was a really good choice for you this time around. She’ll do almost something to save her friends! She’ll lift the smallest finger she’s got to get you out of a jam!” Laura: “I think everyone should buy their own diamond.” Brian: “We just learned a little bit about Jester and a lot about Laura.”

Travis: “Fjord is honest, sharing, truthful, transparent. It’s part of his... legal good alignment?” Laura: “Are you lawful good?” Travis: “Yeah. I am.” Laura: “You are lying.” Travis: “Lawful good. I am. Yup. He’s just trying to let people know what’s going on.”

Jester trusts Fjord completely. Travis states that Fjord has never lied to Jester.

Brian: “Do you want a pillow for your back? Would that make you more comfortable?” Laura: “No.” Brian: “Do you want a Matt Mercer body pillow for your back?” Laura: “Yes.”

Laura thinks the possibility of Kiri being evil is most likely to happen just through the influence of the Mighty Nein. Travis thinks she killed her whole family. Laura: “I love how innocently she stabs corpses. She’s so sweet.”

Travis: “I don’t think Fjord’s crushing on Jester.” Laura: “I don’t think Jester’s crushing on Fjord.” They’re comfortable with each other, especially since they’ve known each other the longest.

As Laura, she recognizes that Liam is trying to bring Jester into Caleb’s ritual casting, and she appreciates that it’s an overture of friendship. But Jester is so easily distracted, and her magic is so different from his, that she isn’t really appreciating the gesture. Laura hopes he continues to try, though.

Having served on ships, Fjord knows that conflict will come up and that you have to squash it quickly. He found it endearing that Beau thought to seek his counsel.

Jester doesn’t think of it as a mother-daughter relationship with Kiri. It’s more like the dolls she had when she was little: it’s just protectiveness.

Dream guest on the show? Brian: Regis Philbin. Travis: Stephen Colbert. Laura: Richard Simmons.

Laura won’t tell Jester’s age. Laura: “She’s 57 years old.” Brian: “Is that a real answer?” Laura: “No.” Fjord is in his early 30s.

Jester isn’t very comfortable with conflict. She stepped in a bit with Bowlgate, just because it touched on things she has strong convictions about, but her first reaction is mainly just to go, “Don’t fight!”

If someone Fjord didn’t know as well as Beau, like Molly and Yasha, asked him for advice, he probably would have used the opportunity to try and glean more information on them.

Talks Machina: After... Dark

Laura loves Matt/Kiri’s Jester voice. She talked to him after he did it so well as Kiri for the first time, and he very matter-of-factly said he just had to figure out the .

Laura: “You have to say ‘It’s high noon’, and then he’ll repeat it as Kiri!”

Travis and Laura aren’t shipping anybody yet. Laura: “It’s too early. Don’t get me wrong, Oskar is really hot and stuff, but you know.”

The Spiritual Weapon lollipop: strawberry-flavored. It’ll probably change flavors as Jester levels up.

Travis is interested in the possibility of some sort of Vestige getting absorbed into the falchion. Laura wonders if, if Fjord dies, all the weapons he’s eaten will fall out of him like a loot drop. Travis: “Not swallowed, consumed. I’m not fucking swallowing anything anymore, okay? Fucking autopilot Fjord just shoved it into his stomach like a normal person.” Laura thinks Matt missed an opportunity to make the absorption process be up-the-butt.

INVOKE DUPLICITY

Fjord is "a pretty good person on the inside”, and despite the ominousness of his patron, he’s going to do his best to stay on the straight and narrow.

Laura’s on a panel tomorrow at the E3 Coliseum tomorrow, probably to talk about Gears of War.

Travis: “Twilight was a better movie than The Notebook.” Brian is appalled.

[akindlymonster-a]

Regarding fluff: what's about finding a very fluffy succubus at his cemetery hideout? The trickster has carefully perched among the alchemy equipment, set on the table; planning some coquettish welcome, no doubt. But fell asleep, while waiting.

.Send Fluffy Things! || Always Accepting

Regis had to stifle his laughter when he came upon his sweet intruder, curled up atop his notes with her button nose wrinkled in a dream. She must have come with mischief in mind, but now her hair was mussed and her artfully applied makeup smudged, knowledge that would probably have appalled her upon waking, and yet Regis couldn’t help the fondness that rose in him. Dear Natanis, still trying to cheer him up.

Ah, but her position was precarious, one leg already dangling and the rest of her threatening to follow, and before a rude awakening could come to pass he moved to catch her, gently gathering her into his arms. It was only then, when her face came into true relief in the dim light of the crypt, that he discovered his mistake.

Despite what he had first thought, this was decidedly not Natanis.

“ Oh, my dear... ” Regis felt a lump rising in his throat, the revelation settling warm and heavy around his heart. Not only did Nistana know, but she had come looking for him. For all of her sister’s chatter, he had not let himself believe that she thought of him still, their time together too long ago, divided from the present by too much distance and pain. And yet, here she was, snoozing peacefully in his morbid little hideout.

He swallowed hard, the succubus in his arms shifting slightly and making sleepy noises. He shushed her softly, carefully lifting her towards the meager mattress he had set up for those rare moments of rest. Not a lovely feather bed, my dear, but it will have to do. He settled her carefully, pulling his thin blanket over her and brushing stray curls from her face.

“ Sweet Nistana, still as beautiful as ever. ” Very carefully, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his heart overfull. “ I am here, mijnliefste. Right beside you, as always. ”

                                 @toussainttwins

[angelrider13]

SI!Leviathan. Thalassa and Ardyn bump into each other in Insomnia, by Actual Coincidence, and she takes the opportunity to do something she's heard about but never done. Embarrass her fully grown child in front of friends/coworkers. She may also flirt with Regis and/or Clarus, maybe Cor if he's there 'hot young thing, my stoic little brother would like you (Titan)'. (cont)

(cont) Ardyn is a little amused, seeing as he’s the only one who knows this is a Goddess, but mostly he’s appalled, that’s his MOM. His screech of horror is genuine, and probably the most honest thing anyone’s heard from him in years. Regis is a little flattered, he hasn’t been flirted with in a long while. And the lady is not just beautiful, but sharply intelligent. Hm …             

No, but Thalassa would flirt with Regis so hard.

Ardyn: Please stop flirting with the father of my arch nemesis immediately.

Thalassa: He’s only your nemesis because Bahamut said so and fuck that guy.

Ardyn: …that’s fair.

Thalassa: Plus, he’s hot. Have you seen him? He’s a silver fox. I enjoy a man who wears his age well.

Ardyn: Mother.

Thalassa: Don’t worry, darling, I’ll make sure not to enjoy him too much in front of you.

Ardyn: While appreciated, that is absolutely not the point.