#Reality's workplace

[jared-the-fool]

WELL. what is your ocs FAVORITE WAY to eat VEGETABLES? (fried , boiled , etc etc!!)

Um. I'll just mention some outliers since. 50 ocs

Markus tends not to eat vegetables unseasoned, they're always found in all the stews and soups he makes.

Piro is the exact opposite, eating them in whatever form she fancies, often raw and whole.

Kon has eaten a zucchini over the course of several days, biting a single chunk into it each time. He didn't like the taste.

Uthyr and Galvin eat the same diet of exclusively root vegetables and fruits, but Uthyr's people eats them raw while Galvin's people roasts them.

Harker does not eat vegetables. At best he dives into the ocean and eats kelp unintentionally.

Hori has eaten his weight in charred corn at some point. He'll never know when he surpassed it but the thought bugs him occasionally.

Roxana and Echo don't need to eat, but they have tried vegetables and enjoyed them! Echo tends to eat the majority, however, eating hers dehydrated and seasoned.

[hairmetal666]

Eddie Munson gets famous at fifteen, after a YouTube video goes viral.

He's the kind of famous where he can't leave his house without being mobbed; where his name is plastered across grocery store tabloids and every fifth Pop Crave post; who has to make special arrangements with stores, whose body guards have body guards, who's forgotten what it's like to be normal. He's the kind of famous with well-chronicled stints in and out of rehab

And he thinks, at thirty, why not do a reality show? Why not let everyone in the world into his life because they're there anyway?

There's this guy on the crew, beautiful as a fucking sunrise. He's all golden-tanned and chestnut-haired, with these big hazel eyes that makes Eddie stomach swoop deliciously whenever they happen to meet his.

His name is Steve.

And Eddie, well. He's learned his lesson about jumping into relationships. So, Steve is nice to look at, and that's all there is to it.

---

They're at the studio, and Eddie, he only smokes when he's recording but he's "not allowed" to do that inside. So, he steps out into the alley behind the building, eyes falling shut as he hands search his pockets for his pack of Camels and his Zippo.

"I didn't realize you smoked," a deep voice says from the darkness.

Eddie startles, eyes flying open. Steve is leaning against the brick of the building, cigarette perched between his pursed lips.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I'm Steve. With the crew."

"Eddie," he answers by instinct.

"I know," Steve chuckles. His hazel eyes are golden in the yellow streetlight.

"Oh, right." He lights his cigarette and inhales deep.

"I really like what you're doing in there." Steve nods his head towards the studio.

"You a fan?"

"Never listened to you much before. Not really a metal kinda guy, but I like it."

People aren't usually honest with Eddie. It's refreshing.

"Glad you're getting into it! How's your--uh, job going?"

Steve laughs. "First assistant camera, that's my job." Eddie's expression must read a total blank, but Steve only smiles. "I make sure everything's in focus while we film"

"Is that--hard?"

"Sometimes," Steve agrees. "How do you like being the star of a reality show?"

Eddie huffs out a breath. "It's more fun than I expected. Like, sure it's weird to have you guys follow me around, but at least I invited you, you know?"

Steve's dark eyes are fathomless in his perfect face. "You'll let me know? If anything happens that you don't like?"

Eddie nods, taken aback by the serious line of Steve's pretty mouth. Before he can respond more, the back door creaks open, Gareth's backlit shape leaning into the alley. "Eddie? They're ready for you."

"Duty calls." He smiles at Steve as he stomps out his cigarette. "See you around."

---

Eddie goes to a house party in the hills. It's just a handful of people, all of them he's known for years, no cameras in sight.

Someone asks how things are going with the band. Eddie doesn't think anything of it. Why should he, among friends? Why should he when they already know the resentment that Gareth, Jeff, and Freak have for him? Eddie got signed and not his band. The guys--they never really forgave him, think he could have tried harder.

So, he says--he says--"I wish they didn't resent me so goddamn much still. To this day! They're millionaires and they're pissed at me? Fuck that. I got them here. I got us all here."

They're filming the next day at Eddie's house. He's working on a new song, engrossed in his acoustic and his notebook.

He's so in the zone, it takes him a second to register when Gareth bursts into the house.

"Fuck you, Munson," Gareth screams. "What the fuck is this shit?" Eddie's own voice pours from Gareth's phone, and Eddie's stunned speechless for dozens of seconds as he tries to comprehend what's happening.

"I didn't--" he tires. He raises his hands placatingly, but his minds a whirlwind, thoughts a tangle, heart a mess of betrayal and hurt and fear.

"We should be fucking grateful?" Gareth yells. "You spoiled piece of shit, fuck you!" He lunges towards Eddie, but Steve darts from behind the camera, moving to block Gareth's path.

"Stop filming," Eddie shouts. He lifts his arms to block the shit. "Get out," he snaps at the crew. " Now!"

He and Gareth scuffle towards a set of double-doors, heated words low and unintelligible.

"Don't come in." He tells the crew. "Steve, I mean it. Tell them to stop."

Eddie shoves Gareth into the other room, slamming the door behind him. Still, the mics pick up the screaming fight between the two men.

Hours later, Eddie finally makes his way back to the main part of the house, finds Steve standing at the kitchen island.

"Why are you still here?" He's too exhausted from the fight to put any inflection into it.

"I was wo--I wanted to make sure everything was okay," Steve says. He relaxes against the island. "Are yo--is everything okay?"

Eddie's laugh is humorless. "Something like that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The tears he kept at bay with Gareth prick at his eyelids until they burn. "Not really, no."

Steve nods. "We could--you wanna watch a movie?"

This startles a laugh out of Eddie, one that has tears flooding his eyes and he has to blink fast, look down, anything so Steve doesn't notice.

"You know what I want?" he says. It's soft enough that maybe Steve, across the kitchen, wouldn't hear.

"What?"

"To have friends who won't sell me out for a couple thousand bucks." The tears start falling, his throat choked with emotion.

He wants to stop, embarrassed to be crying in front of Steve, but now that he's started, sobs shake his shoulders and he can't keep quiet.

Steve reaches for him. "Is this okay?" he whispers, hands rubbing circles against his back.

Eddie nods, cries for a while as Steve makes soothing motions against his back.

"I just wish I was normal," he mumbles when he has words again.

Steve's hold on him tightens. "I'm sorry, Eddie."

Shame hits him then, too hard to ignore, and he steps away. "I'm gonna--I'm gonna go. I--Thanks again."

He ignores the sound of Steve calling him back.

---

Eddie's playing a show. He's playing a show in a small club, something he hasn't been able to do for years, but he's doing it right now. It's electric, vibrating through his body, the crowd screaming along with every word.

So much of this is because of Steve, and Eddie can't think about it, because men like Steve aren't for guys like Eddie.

As he plays, his eyes scan the small crowd, find Steve easily. He's gazing at Eddie, lips slicked pink and parted, eyes shining. Eddie knows this look; the naked desire obvious. A heat he never lets himself feel for Steve blooms low in his abdomen, but--

He wails into his mic, forcing his thoughts away from that path. He has a show to play, one that's pumping his veins full of satisfied adrenaline. Nothing can ruin it.

When the show ends, Eddie is high, endorphins and adrenaline pounding through his bloodstream.

Eddie, the band, and the film crew make their way out the club's backdoor. There's a car idling close by, but they only get a few steps in before there's shouting; the ear-shattering click of dozens of camera shutters; overwhelming burst of flashes.

Eddie is disoriented, dizzy; the rapid shift from the best night he's had in years, to this, mobbed by paparazzi, people screaming his name, crowding their small group. He stumbles, black spots still obstructing his vision.

Arms catch around him, holding him steady. "You okay?" Steve asks.

Before he can answer, one of the paps yells, "Munson's wasted! Can't even walk!"

"C'mon, Ed, I've got you," Steve says.

"Just get into the booze, Munson, or someone had Molly too? Maybe a little coke? That used to be your thing, right? Snort a little blow and do a show?"

Eddie tenses, almost stops, but Steve keeps him going.

The crowd surges around them, more voices yelling, more flashbulbs popping, the guy saying, "He can't even stand without help! You got a real problem you know?"and he just--can't anymore. He whirls out of Steve's grasp, lunges for the guy.

"What's your fucking problem, man?" Eddie hisses. "What did I do to you, huh?"

"Real tough, Munson, huh?" The man sneers. He shoves Eddie hard, knocking him back a few steps.

Eddie's vision fuzzes out, brain buzzing. He snarls, knows he does, knows he's losing it, can't make it stop.

Strong arms wrap around his waist, pull him off his feet. He fights it until he's pressed into a wall, until cold hands cup his face.

"Baby, baby, you have to calm down," Steve murmurs. "You have to breathe, can you do that for me?"

"I want--he can't--I--"

Steve presses harder against him, bodies joined. "You're having a panic attack, yeah? Can you breathe with me, baby? Match me?"

Eddie nods, tries, wants to be good for Steve.

He calms, as much from the breathing exercise as being held by the most beautiful man he's ever seen. Pressing his face against Steve's neck he says, "why are you always around for my worst moments? I'm such a fucking mess."

"I don't think you're a mess," he says. "I think you've gotten hurt, you've gotten cornered. And your reactions are normal."

"Why do you even care?" Eddie asks.

Steve doesn't even pause. "Cause I like you, Eddie." His hold tightens for a second. "I like you a lot."

Eddie scoffs. "Yeah, you like Eddie Munson, the hot rockstar. Not the loser who cries in your arms"

Cold air hits Eddie as Steve steps away to meet Eddie's eyes. You want to know something? I didn't expect to like you at all. I admit, I bought into all the stories on the internet. But you were never anything like that, Ed. Not even once."

Steve takes a deep breath, turning away as his cheeks grow pink. "And you--you're always going out of your way for people. The day I knew I was gone for you? Three weeks into filming. There was this kid interning. You didn't know a thing about him, just some twenty-year-old, and you sat down and talked to him. Were genuinely interested in everything he said."

"Steve," Eddie's voice breaks. He has to cover his mouth, lips a wobbling mess.

"I want to give you normal, Eddie, as much as I can. If you'll let me."

The moisture tumbles free from his eyes, streaking down his cheeks. Eddie laughs. "God, Steve, you're--I like you, too."

Steve brushes the tears away. "So, you'd go on a date with me?"

"I think I would really like to go on a date with you, yeah."

Steve leans in, slow and gentle, placing a soft kiss at the corner of Eddie's mouth. It lights him up like a fresh struck match, nerve endings on fire. He thinks it's so much more than like already.

"Take me home, sweetheart," he says.

"Getting fresh with me, Munson," Steve smirks. "I won't have you using your rockstar wiles to seduce me."

Eddie's laugh echoes off the brick of the surrounding buildings. "Oh, sweetheart, my rockstar ways will destroy you."

"That a promise?"

---

Six months later, the first and only season of Welcome to Hell premieres. Instead, of chronicling a rockstar's debauched and wild lifestyle, it's a soft and charming love story. It shows Steve and Eddie growing closer, Steve working late into the night, to give Eddie the hint of normalcy he's so desperate for, to make him happy. It shows Eddie's eyes track Steve across a room, something like sadness crossing his face. It shows a concert that Steve arranged, the fight with the pap outside the venue, brief glimpses of Steve and Eddie in the aftermath, the gentle kiss.

In the last interview of the season, the producer asks Eddie if there will be a season two of Welcome to Hell.

Eddie smiles, glances off camera, which pans to find Steve in worn jeans and a Metallica hoodie, hair messy and wearing glasses. He gazes at Eddie, smiles this soft, aching thing.

"Nah, I don't think I need it anymore," Eddie answers. Throwing the camera a smile that matches Steve's.

[theravenloftwanderers]

🥀 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕾𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖍𝖉 - 𝕯𝖆𝖞 𝖁𝕴 𝕮𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖎𝖓 - 🥀

Strahd awakens from his slumber. I, too, stumble out of bed, dishevelled to go to work. He may hate being stuck in Barovia but at least he's not working a 9-5 in order to pay the bills. So whatever he's complaining about, sounds like a him problem smh.

[cigamfossertsim]

someone make a workplace sitcom that takes place in the watchtower. in jlu we see that normal people get 9-5 jobs working there and that the justice league also technically “works” there for monitor duty and whatnot but they also use it as a giant dorm for superheroes. like imagine talking to superman at work. batman is your boss. you have monitor duty with atom smasher and booster gold. you eat lunch with black canary. the gossip. the benefits. the shenanigans. the very real possibility that at any second you could be attacked by supervillains or invading aliens. but its just customer service on steroids to you. i need this. itll be comedy gold

[irenespring]

May try to break my writer's block for Serious Writing by writing some pointless domestic fluff nonsense of House and Wilson watching Selling Sunset because the show is delightfully insane, we know canonically House watches reality TV, and they would both have thoughts.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

doodle dump

[blockygraphics]

"The Rubik's Cubicle" by Eric Scroger; comic from the 1996 Virtual Reality Madness compilation.

[aci25]

What's something you'll get a lot of hate for if you say it out loud?

This young man possesses a remarkable clarity of thought. Unfortunately, the system has engaged in a prolonged brainwashing campaign, spanning multiple generations since the industrial revolution. The consequence of this manipulation is that a significant portion of the population still clings to the myth of freedom. In reality, their lives are confined within a rigidly structured script crafted by the system.

[jared-the-fool]

Thinking about Reality's workplace. God there's too many characters

[the-most-humble-blog]

HIVE CITY FESTIVAL EXTRAVAGANZA – WHERE DIGNITY GETS BURIED IN A SHALLOW GRAVE 🍖⚙️

"Bring your Thrones, your questionable morals, and your complete lack of regard for human safety! Because if you don’t, we’ll have one of our rusty servitors throw your ass into an oven with a carrot shoved straight up your rectum."

🍖 1. CORPSE-STARCH COOK-OFF – WHERE EVERY BITE TASTES LIKE A LABOR VIOLATION 🍽️☠️

💀 Tagline: "If you can still chew, you’re either lucky or heavily augmented."

🔹 What’s on the "menu" (read: crimes against digestion)?

Reprocessed Nutrient Ration Blocks – Freshly extruded from the Administratum’s most aggressive recycling program!

Fried "Grox" Nuggets – A legally distinct meat product! (Warning: DNA testing not recommended.)

Arbites Surprise Stew – It’s called "Surprise" because you won’t know if it’s food or a missing person’s case!

💡 Festival Highlights:

"Guess The Meat" Challenge – If you guess it right, you get a free extra ration. If you guess it wrong, you get a citation for heresy and a punch to the gut!

Deep-Fried Horror Show – If it fits in the fryer, it gets served. Bring your enemies! Bring your servitors! Bring your own damn foot!

Hive Chef Deathmatch – Can YOU create a meal so rancid it physically incapacitates a rival chef? First one to pass out loses!

📢 ATTENDEE WARNING: All meals are legally classified as "edible" but not "safe." If your esophagus melts, that’s a YOU problem.

🤖 2. SERVITOR REFURBISHMENT EXPO – WHERE BROKEN MEATBAGS BECOME "PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS" 🛠️☠️

💀 Tagline: "Still got a heartbeat? Fixable. Screaming in agony? Also fixable."

🔹 Services Offered (Totally Not War Crimes):

"Barely Legal" Cogitator Rewiring – Does your servitor "accidentally" remember its past life? We’ll fix that—by lobotomizing it so hard its last thought is static.

Cybernetic Bargain Bin – We’ve got prosthetics, augmetics, and the occasional random limb. No, we don’t care if it matches your skin tone. It works, shut the fuck up.

"Last-Chance Reboot" Station – If your servitor is making weird noises, we’ll “fix” it by welding its mouth shut. Boom. Problem solved.

💡 Festival Highlights:

Rust Bucket Swap Meet – Trade your half-dead servitor for one that’s only slightly haunted!

Best-Looking Monstrosity Contest – Winner gets a lifetime supply of oil rations and a half-functional chainsword!

Live Servo-Skull Auction – Some whisper tactical secrets, some just scream. Either way, you’re getting a deal!

📢 WARNING: All servitors are sold "as is." If your new model starts leaking coolant or reciting Imperial poetry at 3 AM, we don’t wanna hear about it.

🦠 3. NURGLE’S BACK-ALLEY BUFFET – FOOD THAT’S TECHNICALLY ALIVE 🤢🧫

💀 Tagline: "You don’t eat this food. This food eats you."

🔹 What’s on the menu (besides impending diarrhea and an Inquisitorial investigation)?

Spore-Fermented Grox Sausage – Now with 80% less spontaneous combustion!

Nurgle’s "Secret Sauce" Casserole – Chunky. Lumpy. Makes your insides rot faster than a hive factory worker’s lungs.

Warp-Fried Maggot Delight – Every bite is an "experience!" (Translation: You’re gonna see some shit. Literally.)

💡 Festival Highlights:

"What’s That Smell?" Game – Hint: It’s either an unwashed servitor or something that used to be human.

Plague Roulette – Eat a dish. If you live, you win. If you don’t, well… welcome to the Grandfather’s loving embrace!

Stomach Purge Olympics – Who can hold down their meal the longest? Place your bets!

📢 LEGAL NOTICE: All food items contain at least three unidentifiable ingredients. If it gives you an extra limb, you get to keep it.

⚙️ 4. IMPERIAL REJECTS AUCTION – BUY USED WAR GEAR AND HOPE FOR THE BEST 🔧🔫

💀 Tagline: "Weapons so janky, even the Guard said ‘nah’ to using them."

🔹 What’s up for grabs?

Battle-Damaged Bolt Pistols – You ever seen a gun backfire so hard it turns into a grenade? No? You will.

Half-Repaired Chain Swords – Still got bits of the last guy stuck in the teeth. Authentic!

Mystery Servo-Skulls – Might scream, might recite the Emperor’s Litany, might tell you where the bodies are buried!

💡 Festival Highlights:

Best Jury-Rigged Weapon Contest – If it fires without killing the user, you win!

Arbites Raid Speedrun – Can you make a sale before the cuffs snap shut?

Mystery Crate Raffle – Could be relics. Could be junk. Could be a pissed-off servitor who just remembered how to kill. Good luck!

📢 WARNING: If your purchase malfunctions and vaporizes your own skull, that’s on YOU.

🩸 5. THE RED MARKET – "GENUINELY ACQUIRED" ORGANS & AUGMENTS 🚑🦴

💀 Tagline: "If it still bleeds, it’s still fresh!"

🔹 What’s for sale?

Lightly-Used Kidneys – Perfect for replacing your own, or for starting a collection!

Discount Augmetics – Once belonged to a noble—before he had a "falling accident."

Imperial Guard "Donations" – They didn’t "quit" the battlefield, but they’re definitely not using these anymore!

💡 Festival Highlights:

Lung Capacity Showdown – Who can survive the longest with only one lung?

Surprise DNA Testing – Is your new organ human? Roll a D6 to find out!

"Genuine" Clone Flash Sale – Buy it, raise it, and hope it doesn’t eat you in your sleep!

📢 NOTICE: No, we will NOT be issuing refunds if your new liver starts whispering in High Gothic at night.

WHICH HIVE CITY FESTIVAL ARE YOU ATTENDING?

🔥 REBLOG if you’d risk your life for a good deal! 💬 COMMENT with which cursed meal or reject servitor you’d buy! 🚀 FOLLOW for more grimdark horrors, disgusting markets, and Warhammer meme depravity!

[artbyscarcello]

[marietheran-archived]

I feel like the problem with Communism (one of them, anyway) is that its assumptions and methods are both very brutal & pragmatic, and incredibly naïve.

The problem with all revolutions, maybe? "We will impose one last amount of suffering so that no one ever suffers again." But the goal is never achieved, so all that is left are the means, and these testify against you.

[machetelanding]

[fortune-maiden]

The only thing worse than mandatory workplace trainings are mandatory workplace trainings that are identical every year

[villainboygirl]

That's literally the level of workplace safety in Italy.

[darkwood-sleddog]

Actual interaction at work today:

Person, talking to my former boss: *gestures at me “this young girl took over for you?”

Me: “ah yes, this young girl of 31…”