#Random ramblings from Poison

[an1muuarts]

it was around 1:30 am when this was recommended to me

and it was actually scary wtf

(also cw for drug overdose if youre gonna watch it)

[sskk-manifesto]

:(

[larz-barz]

anyone else just completely go through the motions when they write stories? like, no preplanning whatsoever? like, an idea just pops into your head then you write it and don’t plan things out at all? cause that’s me and that might be why my stories kinda suck 😃👍

[i-have-dots-in-my-brain]

guys i have a idea of how to kill ai we make thousands of blogs and accounts on any app that sells data to ai and post the most awful deformed shit anyone has seen, it can be a photo we fucked with, a drawing we fucked up, writing with a million grammer errors and fucked up spelling, anything at all, flood the blogs and accs with that shit just put a fucking hand with six fingers or something go wild go crazy POST EVERY FUCKED UP THING YOU CAN AND DROPKICK IT INTO THE INTERNET VOID MAKE IT SO THAT EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK YOU CAN NO LONGER FIND PRETTY AESTHETIC ART AND ITS ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT

then, we turn on third party sharing

[thebluebygracieabrams]

sometimes I think i need to note down every terrible thing my dad does because absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and I'm scared that few years from now i won't be brave enough to tell him that fuck you im going to live MY life the way I want and with whoever i want and I don't give a fuck what you think about that and

[prlssprfctn]

About your post in which Jason loses his brain mouth filter and rambles all his train of thoughts, imagine if one (or more) of his friends appeared/were mentioned in the middle of this.

People would get a whiplash between all the childhood trauma bomb drop, the depressing thoughts, the cheesy sweet things he thinks about his friends but rarely says (only between them), the adult teen-adult trauma bomb drop, and the random ass thoughts must be the origin of his humor sense.

He would go from casually recalling that time he went days without eating anything but a piece of bread until poison ivy accidentally tripped with him because she hadn't seen him and paid him in apples to not snitch in which way she went to "at least I wasn't hungry when I was dead" to calling one of his friends amazing bc of [hyper specific treat they have] to "ughh that was so embarrasing. Why couldn't that batarang cut down my vocal chords too?" to some ridiculous knee-jerk response when someone asks about that.

oh. THIS.

just generally, Jason is so attentive to people he loves, i think he would also spur some little details about his friends and family that they themselves never noticed.

and the pipeline between random traumatic experiences and this? absolutely devastating. because deep inside, he is still the same second Robin they knew so well.

just imagine Dick trying to soothe him by playing with his hair, when Jason randomly goes in a whole rant like:

"i always hated people touching my hair... reminds me of times when i was earning some cash on streets, if you know what i mean... also i am pretty sure joker rip out a clump of my hair, but that might be wrong... memories are shit like that... reminds me of Roy. Roy is so fricking good with breading hair, Lian adores it. i seriously need to take a few lessons from him before visiting her again..."

or someone trying to distract him by suggesting to help Alfred in a garden, and Jason goes like:

"fuck, not the garden, ew, ew, ew. if i feel the dirt on myself again, i am going to shoot myself in the temple — again. i still can feel worms down my throat, fuck. god. urgh, abort it, abort it, abort it! anyway, right, i need to make it up to Kori for missing branch with her. flowers would do... not red roses, though, she thinks they are too basic... fuck, i wasn't supposed to mention it in front of Dick, he likes buying them to her and she will feel bad if he will— OH MY GOD, dad can you slit my throat again?"

...and that's how the whole family finds out about the batarang incident.

[secretl1fe0fm3]

all your exes ~ billie eilish x fem!reader

“you tell me not to worry, im the only thing you see. well, yeah, i fucking better be.”

warnings: smut, jealous!billie, dom!billie, dirty talk, degradation, fingering, orgasm denial, strap(r!receiving), handcuff usage, established relationship

an: this is pure filth!! (who’s shocked) y’all showed so much love to obsessive, and this is another product of that universe, a sister fic in a way (LOVE possessive!billie) i really recommend listening to all your exes by julia michaels while reading! enjoy (or don’t) mwah <3

18+ minors dni!!!

2.2k words

The music is pounding against the walls, bass vibrating through the floorboards of the random house you were at. You’re standing in the kitchen, drink in hand, laughing at something dumb your friend said. You were unaware of Billie somewhere across the room, talking with a friend as well, half watching you, half engaging in the pointless conversation she was having. Her drink untouched in her ring clad fingers.

You don’t notice the moment your ex slides up beside you, too lost in your tipsy state to realize. It’s easy to miss, with the noise, the warmth of the room, the way you’re already eager to greet whoever’s nearby, socializing with every person there.

“Hey, stranger,” they say, voice sickeningly sweet and leaning way too close.

You blink, your eyes widening instantly at the familiar voice, surprise flashing across your face. It takes you not even a second to recognize the figure smiling at you.

“Oh my god, hi!” you laugh, a little too loudly, setting your cup down to throw your arms around them in a quick hug. Just friendly, you think, but they don’t pull away as fast as you do.

Billie’s jaw clenches so hard it aches. She watches the way you hug them and smile with that big, genuine grin you save for people you actually like. It makes her stomach burn as she watches you, her friend falling silent as she realizes Billie’s attention is else where. She crosses her arms tighter, waiting, studying the way your ex talks animatedly, brushing your waist with their fingers, the way their eyes linger on your mouth every time you laugh.

You, blissfully oblivious, laugh and nod with them, cracking jokes every so often. It was all innocent in your eyes, just catching up with an old friend.

Billie doesn’t say a word or intervenes. She just watches.

———

The car ride home is dead silent. You’re humming to yourself, scrolling through your phone, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. Billie’s hands are tight around the steering wheel, her knuckles white, the streetlights flashing across her face in hard, cold slashes.

You don’t notice. You’re still thinking about the party, already missing the warm buzz of the room and the loud music.

When Billie pulls up to her place, you stumble a little getting out of the car. Billie’s right there, steadying you with a hand on your waist, gentle but tense. You grin up at her, mumbling, “You’re so sweet.”

She doesn’t smile back.

———

Inside, you kick your shoes off, stumbling a little clumsily in the entryway. Billie shuts the door behind you with a soft click. You start rambling about the night, about how fun it was, about how weird it was seeing old faces, but she cuts you off.

“Do you have any idea what you were doing?” she asks, voice low and unwavering.

You blink at her. “What?”

“Your ex.” She spits the words out like they are poison on her tongue. “They were all over you.”

You frown, confused, stepping closer. “No they weren’t. We were just talking, Bils.”

Billie laughs once, sharp and humorless. “You’re kidding me. You didn’t see the way they were looking at you?”

You shake your head stubbornly, the alcohol still clouding your judgement. “You’re overthinking it.”

Billie’s jaw tightens at your words. Her eyes narrow as she stares at you for a moment, silence filling the foyer.

“No, I’m not,” she says, voice cold. She steps closer, slow and deliberate, until your back hits the wall with a soft thud. “You’re just too drunk to realize how fucking lucky you are that I didn’t drag you out of that party the second they laid a hand on you.”

You blink up at her, throat dry, all words dying on your tongue.

Billie leans in, breath ghosting your ear. Her voice drops, rough and quiet. “I think you need a reminder,” she murmurs, “of who you belong to.”

Before you can make a snarky comment, her lips crash against yours, taking you by surprise and your breath away. Her hands find your hips, fingers digging in just enough to make you gasp out against her lips. She smirks into the kiss, satisfied.

“Bedroom,” she commands, voice low and leaving no room for argument.

Billie’s hand wraps around your wrist as she tugs you toward the hallway without another word. The house feels too quiet now, every creak of the floor under your steps loud in the heavy air between you. Your skin forms goosebumps with anticipation, heart racing faster with every step Billie takes in front of you.

When you reach the bedroom, she doesn’t rush. She closes the door gently behind her. Billie leans back against the door, arms folded, hooded eyes dragging over your body in a way that makes you feel stripped bare already.

“Strip,” she says, voice low, unbothered, like it’s just a casual request, and not a degrading demand.

You hesitate, just for a second.

Her eyebrow lifts. “Now.”

You swallow hard, fingers fumbling as you reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. She watches as you shimmy out of your jeans, standing there in nothing but your underwear, feeling the weight of her gaze burn into your cold skin.

“All of it,” she adds, her lips curving into a slow, smug smile.

Heat floods your cheeks as you slip your bra straps down your arms, letting it fall to the floor, then hook your thumbs into your panties and slide them down, stepping out of them. Completely bare under the heaviness of her stare, you shift awkwardly, arms twitching toward covering yourself.

Billie clicks her tongue.

“Uh-uh, baby. Let me look at you.”

You drop your hands to your sides, chest heaving as you try and take a deep breath.

“That’s better,” she murmurs, pushing off the door at last.

She crosses the room towards you before stopping right in front of where you’re standing, her finger lifting to trail slowly down your throat, your chest, your stomach, barely touching, just enough to make you shiver.

“So sweet,” she muses out loud, tilting her head, “and so fucking clueless sometimes.”

You open your mouth to argue, but her hand trails back up and closes lightly around your throat, not squeezing, just holding, a silent warning. You whimper, spine arching into her.

“Not gonna let you forget again,” she promises.

You barely register her moving away from you until you hear the soft clink of metal. You blink, breath stuttering, as Billie pulls a pair of handcuffs from the drawer by the bed, twirling them once on her finger, taunting you.

“Get on the bed,” she orders.

You scramble back onto the mattress, heart pounding. Billie follows, climbing over you, straddling your hips for a moment just to smirk down at you before grabbing your wrists and clicking the cuffs around them, locking you to the headboard.

The cold bite of metal against your skin sends a surge of warmth through your lower belly.

“Perfect,” Billie breathes, admiring the way you look spread out for her, her pupils expanding at the sight.

She slides her hand slowly down your stomach again, nails scratching lightly, until she cups your already throbbing heat. You writhe instinctively, desperate for her, but she just chuckles under her breath.

“So needy already,” she teases, dragging a single finger between your soaked folds, just barely touching where you need her the most. You whimper, trying to push your hips into her hand, but she pulls back.

“Aw. Poor baby,” Billie mocks, fake sympathy dripping from every word. “You let some fucking loser at a party touch you but now you wanna act desperate for me? That’s cute.”

You whine loudly, the humiliation and degrading words mixing in your gut, making your head spin.

She gives in after a moment of listening to nothing but your desperate whines, sliding two fingers in, slow and deep. Her thrusts start slow, not quite hitting your sweet spot, but it’s at least something. Before you can get used to it, she pulls her fingers out quickly, leaving you clenching around nothing. You sob quietly, tugging against the cuffs.

“Not yet,” Billie says sweetly, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “You don’t get to come until I say. Understand?”

You nod frantically, your body writhing on the bed desperately. “Y-Yes, Billie.”

“Good girl.”

She sinks her fingers back into you, curling them just right, dragging against that spot that makes your vision blur. You moan loudly, thighs shaking, so close already, but just as your body tenses, ready to fall over the edge, she pulls away again, smirking at the way you sob her name in frustration.

“You look so fucking pathetic like this,” she murmurs, dragging her fingers back through your soaked folds with excruciating slowness, circling your clit with a feather light touch. “So desperate for me. Just dripping and begging, and you still think you’re not mine, hm?”

You whimper, shaking your head quickly.

She pulls back, and for a moment, you fear she’s going to leave you hanging again, but then you hear the faint sound of the nightstand drawer opening. You lift your head off the pillows weakly, wrists straining against the cuffs, and your breath catches in your throat at the sight of her pulling out her dark purple strap, buckling it around her hips with ease.

Billie meets your wide, desperate eyes and grins. She strokes the toy in one hand, slow and deliberate, letting you watch as your mouth waters with anticipation.

“You gonna be good for me now?” Billie asks, voice almost sweet, almost kind, but you know better.

“Yes,” you choke out, nodding frantically. “Please, Billie. Need you, so bad.”

“Yeah,” she breathes lowly, climbing onto the bed between your spread thighs, one hand bracing beside your hip. “That’s what I fucking thought.”

Without another word, she lines herself up and pushes inside in one slow, devastating thrust, filling you completely. You cry out, back arching off the mattress, the sudden fullness dizzying, overwhelming. Billie doesn’t move at first, just stays buried to the hilt, watching your every twitch and gasp with dark satisfaction.

“God, you feel so good,” she mutters, more to herself than to you, hips grinding down in slow, shallow circles that make you whimper and sob beneath her.

“You were made for me,” Billie whispers, voice ragged against your ear. “This body, this pussy,” Her fingers tap your clit twice, making you twitch. “Its all mine. You get that now, baby?”

“Y-Yes,” you sob, tears threatening to spill at the corners of your eyes from the intensity of it all. “Yours, Billie. Only yours.”

“Fuckin’ right you are,” she growls, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into you, setting a brutal, relentless rhythm that has the headboard rattling against the wall.

She keeps one hand braced beside your head, the other roaming, squeezing your throat lightly, grabbing your hips to hold you still, sliding between your bodies to rub slow, cruel circles on your clit just when you’re about to lose it.

“You’re such a good little thing,” she pants, hips thrusting forward sharply. “So dumb, so pretty, so fucking easy for me. But only me, right? Only ever me.”

You’re babbling now, barely coherent, nodding frantically and repeating Billies name inbetween gasps and sobs, nails scratching uselessly against the cuffs, desperate to touch her.

Billie leans down, mouth hovering by your ear, voice wrecked and shaking. “Say it,” she demands, her breath hot against your skin. “Tell me.”

“Yours!” you sob out, tears slipping down your temples from the intense pleasure. “Only yours, Billie. I swear, please, all yours.”

The desperate sincerity in your voice cracks something inside her. Her thrusts grow sloppier, harder, her free hand stroking your cheek almost tenderly now, even as she fucks you mercilessly into the mattress.

“Good girl,” she groans, and you feel yourself unraveling, the pleasure crashing through you like a tidal wave. “Come for me. Let everybody fucking know who you belong to.”

You instantly shatter, your orgasm ripping through you intensely, a loud moan mixed with a scream escapes your lips. Your body convulses under her, every nerve lit up, your entire world narrowing down to Billie.

She helps you ride through it, slowing only when your thighs twitch helplessly and your body goes limp, trembling beneath her.

After a moment of catching her breath, she finally pulls out and reaches up to uncuff you, working the metal free with gentle fingers, careful not to hurt you.

Your arms fall uselessly around her neck, your wrists aching. She pulls you into her lap, cradling you against her chest as you try to catch your own breath.

You bury your face in the crook of her neck, still shaking from your climax. A sudden wave of devotion courses through you, wanting to quiet any second thoughts Billie might be having after tonight.

“You’re the only one I see, Bils.” you whisper, voice wrecked but sure, every word carved out from the very center of your heart.

Billie pulls back just enough to look you in the eye, cheeks flushed as she grins, her smile so full of love it almost breaks you all over again.

“Yeah,” she says, voice softer and certain, thumb stroking lazily along your jaw, “I fucking better be.”

my masterlist

[hiding-under-the-willow]

I am being brave and wandering into your ask box so you can ramble about the ghost au. It looks neat and I'm so curious owo

YAY YEAH YIPPEE!!!

Okay I'm just gonna try and synthesize all of the random notes I've written in the last few days into something of a vaguely coherent list lol

Grian and Joel are roommates looking for a new flat when they get the call that Grian has inherited a house, they very impulsively and foolishly decide to keep the thing that is way too large and far too run down for the two of them to handle, the house is so incredibly haunted, normal bbc ghosts plot ensues

Grian is the one who almost dies and ends up being able to see ghosts. Mumbo is the one who pushes him out the window. Which is ironic bc Mumbo was very much not pro killing the new inhabitants of the house when the other ghosts were scheming ways to get rid of them.

Okay so ghost facts.

Bdubs is obviously highly based on Robin the caveman, I imagine him being slightly closer to the end of the paleolithic period than Robin. I think he may or may not have had some weird cult stuff going in. Weird cult leader caveman guy worshiping the sun and moon. Yes the cloak is real moss. There's bugs in that thing

Wels and Hels killed eachother in a duel, right on the property line, which now neither of them can cross in death. So now both of them is just stuck on either side of the fence seething about it for the rest of time. I like how ridiculous and arbitrary the ghost property line rules are in ghosts, so I find this incredibly funny. Hels is the guy Black Knight stories are based on

Ren wasn't actually a king, he was some type of noble who tried to declare himself king of a specific area, hence the beheading. Whooooooo let's go treason!!

Cleo was not doing actual witch craft at the time she was accused of it, she was however probably doing other illegal and vaguely fucked stuff. Mayhaps that's why she was accused, someone wanted her out of the way and that was an easy and surefire way to get rid of her

Keralis. My silly silly little guy. Our Kitty stand in. I just thought the idea of him dying from pufferfish poisoning was really funny considering him and XB's whole thing. I wanna have XB around, I can't decide if I want him to be a marine biologist of some kind who drowned on the next property over that keralis talks to over the fence, or if he's just like a grounds keeper who takes care of the lake next door that keralis is parasocially obsessed with lol

Beef. Beef my beloved. Period piece romance novel protagonist looking mf <3 He grew up in a family of butchers, became an impressionist painter instead of joining the family business. Focused a lot on pastoral scenes, especially stuff involving farm animals and especially cows. His family thought his career choice was kind of useless and frivolous, his artist colleagues thought his choice of painting subject was kind of frivolous. That's where he got the nickname 'Beef', now it's all anyone remembers him by, AND the fucking paints killed him 😔

Scar!!! The scammiest fucking traveling salesman on the planet. Death of a Salesman death of the American dream type vibes on that guy. He's gotta pay his medical bills somehow man, can't even really blame him for all the grifting. He probably should've been more careful with who he was scamming though, he maybe pissed off the wrong guy (do not scam mobsters! They will have someone kill you about it!)

Xisuma, given the greatest honor of being my Captian stand in. He was a sharp shooter, until his eye got fucked up and he lost his good aim. They shipped him off to the country side to work in 'intelligence', he takes his job very seriously despite this obviously just being somewhere they put him to not have to deal with him. Seriously enough in fact to discover a spy in their ranks! Just in time for that spy to kill him real bad. Damn.

Joe my absolutely beloved. Pat stand in but not quite. He was a popular radio host, he did a lot of volunteer work as a voice/performer for hire. He gets recruited to do some announcer work for a scouting event. There is, mayhaps, a much more. Uh. DIY. Scouting event happening on the next property over. There is an accident involving some homemade fireworks next door (cubfan. when I get you cubfan.), the fireworks going off scares some kid in the middle of fucking around with a bow, Joe gets shot, you can assume the rest. Cub is ghosting around next door cause of the fireworks accident if it makes you feel any better lol

Mumbo my stupid nervous guy. Ran a large tech startup in the late 90s, should not have been given that kind of power over a company. Accidentally did like. A lot of finance crime. Found out about said finance crime and immediately had a fucking heartattack and died from the panic. My cringe fail businessman I love you

Yeah yeah okay so neighbor ghosts. Cub, Hels, maybe XB, and Gem.

Etho is their weird annoying neighbor, he can also see ghosts, but it'll take awhile for everyone to figure that out.

In the same way Grian can see ghosts bc Mumbo tried to kill him, Etho can see ghosts bc Hels tried to kill him (haven't decided how exactly that went down yet)

I've been thinking about what to do with the basement ghosts and I think I want to put team zits down there.

Uh. Other human cast. Jimmy is around! He kind of fills an Obi type role, silly friend who is just kind of around a lot. I think I wanna have Lizzie as like a local barista Joel has a crush on. The ghosts get in his way every time he tries to make a move on her.

Obviously a lot of the ghosts aren't strict one to one fill ins for the original show's ghosts. Ren and Beef are both kind of drawing elements from both Thomas and Humphrey, Wels and X are both kind of drawing from Fanny and Cap, Scar and Mumbo both kind of combine to make up Julian's character. So on and so forth. All of the stuff with Etho and his property's ghosts is obviously all stuff I just did cause I thought it was fun lol

Oh yeah! Ghost powers! Okay obvious stuff, Bdubs has Robin's ability to fuck with lights, Cleo has the same burning smell as Mary, Mumbo can push stuff like Julian. Non obvious stuff. I want Joe to be able to be heard through like radios and phones and such. Hels has to have something to have almost killed Etho but I've yet to decide what that is. If Hels has something I think it would be funny to then have Wels also have the same power, but like. Weaker. So he can be pissy about it. Obviously.

Uh yeah that's all i can think of off the top of my head

Anyways, yeah!!! That's the basic constructions of this au. I had this idea like 3 days ago and have. Obviously thought about it a lot in that time lmao

You can't put two pieces of media in front of me and not expect me to go insane about it <3

[under-your-floorboards]

Imagine Nico wanting to learn more about bones since it’s kind of his whole M.O. so who other does he turn to but Dr Sunlord himself, Will Solace. Will is thrilled to teach him the names of all the bones which then kind of branches into him rambling about how Nico’s raised skeletons make no sense because they have no muscle to conjoin the bones and no nerves to move them, how are they doing that. It turns into little study dates; whenever Will gets time off in the infirmary (when Kayla kicks him out) he and Nico will sit with Will’s Biology books in Nico’s cabin. Sometimes the son of Hades will raise a specific bone from the Earth that Will names as like their form of flash cards.

Eventually to help him study them, Will starts writing the bone names over Nico’s skin. Arms and hands and legs covered in skin safe ink (he was worried about ink poisoning) and Nico stares at them sometimes, not because he’s studying, but because it makes his insides fuzzy when he thinks about how Will held his arm and stroked his thumb on the inside of his wrist as he wrote them.

So one boring day at the infirmary Nico sees the pen in Will’s pocket of his white lab coat and he takes it, then Will’s free arm that he’s not doing paperwork with. Will pauses long enough to see what he was doing as Nico starts drawing a lopsided smiley face. From then on it becomes the norm to see one or both of them walking around with random doodles going up their arms.

[girliism]

sweet virginal art catching the eye of vampire reader.

coming across virgins was so hard now a days, so when you stepped through the doors of this random frat party you were immediately hit with the sweet scent of pure untainted innocence. you had to find him.

locating art was very easy, the tall blonde was standing alone in the corner sipping a mix of vodka and fruit punch. “hi.” you can tell you startled him by how he jumped, nearly spilling his drink on himself. “h-hello.” he stuttered. cute. “what’s your name?” you smiled at him, eye contact never faltering on your part. art looked around before clearing his throat. “um, it’s art.” he said into his cup. “art.” you whispered to yourself, getting a feel for how his name felt. “that’s a really pretty name.” your long burgundy nails pushed some loose curls out of art’s eyes. “pretty name for a pretty boy.” his face blushed a bright red, all the blood rushing to his cheeks. it was making you hungry.

“can we go upstairs?” you said, kinda getting tired of art’s rambling about the possibility of at least 5 people at this party getting alcohol poisoning. “upstairs?” he questioned. you could hear his heartbeat pick up. you nodded looking at him. “yeah, it’s so much quieter up there. please, i don’t bite.” you pouted. art gulped. “o-ok.”

art followed behind you like a lost puppy and you pulled him through the crowd of people and up the stairs.

the second you were in the room you closed and locked the door walking towards art and pushing him onto the bed with an unhuman amount of force. “wow, you’re really strong.” you didn’t answer him, just moved to straddle him, placing your lips on his in a feverish kiss. “you’re so hot. smell so good, could just eat you up.” you said in between kisses. you practically eating art’s face, your experience lips and tongue working against his hesitant ones. you could feel art’s cock growing harder underneath you.

your trailed down his neck stopping at the silver cross that hung around his neck. “let’s take this off.” you whispered, yanking the necklace clean of his neck wincing a little as the silver burned your hand. “wait, that’s my-” art started to speak but got cut off by his own moan when the palm of your hand pushed on his boner. “shhh, don’t worry about that. let me take care of you, ok.” you whispered in his ear before placing a kiss behind it. art felt hypnotized by your words, immediately relaxing into your touch as you undid his jeans. “ok.” he sighed.

you continue to kiss at his neck, feeling his pulse against your lips before you pulled his cock out of his pants. art’s cock was an angry red and was already dripping precum. not wanting to tease him, you brought your hand up to your mouth spitting on it before wrapping your hand around him and jerking him off slowly.

art let out the whiniest of moans, his eyes closing and his head falling back. “does that feel good baby?” you asked. art nodded, opening his eyes to look at you. “y-yes.” you cooed at him, stroking your hand faster pressing your thumb into his slit. “oh my gosh.” art’s hands were gripping tight at your waist, moans and whimpers and the squelching sound coming from your hand moving filled the room. he was close, you could tell by how his hips kept bucking up and how loud he was getting. “you’re gonna cum aren’t you.” you said into his neck. “mhm, please can i? please.” he pleaded.

you pulled back to look at his flushed face. “of course you can.” you voice was sweet, and just before he came you opened your mouth. large fangs growing as you sank them into art’s neck, moaning at the the sweet taste the hit your tongue. art came hard the second your fangs bit into him, thick long ropes shooting out and painting his stomach and your hand as he let out a choked scream.

[deikshen]

omg I love your snake demon shen yuan au! if shen yuan is currently at the prize hunting/gift giving stage of courting luo binghe, does that mean he skipped over fighting him out of respect/fear? or can we expect a tussle in the future (with luo binghe allowing himself to lose ofc)?

MEOW THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!

Honestly, and thinking about it very carefully, I think it can be applied as each demonic species has its predetermined courtships. I mean, yes, demons are inherently violent towards others within the cortege, but I think this species particularly of snake demons would rather go for brute force than for "I can show you how powerful and strong I am by bringing you beasts that no one else could hunt", something like - they demonstrate their power that should be feared or respected in a more strategically subtle way. I also feel that they would go more for a hard strategy than to rush headlong into a fight unless it is a direct provocation

That is to say, I think the message of being feared and respected would be clear if some rare beast appeared at Luo Binghe's door, still dying, with not a wound other than the clean mark of the poisoning of the demon fangs. Like, "look how powerful my venom is, look what it can do, look how I can provide with this for you!!!". I mean, of course it's something Luo Binghe could have hunted with a sword or his hands, but for SOMEONE to have done just to prove a point in their courtship that is unexpectedly funny for him

Thinking about it because I'm a bit of a bitch when it comes to inventing demonic things, maybe some things are particularly hard to get-hunt unless you're a stealthy snake demon with powerful venom. So there's Shen Yuan sighing and having to get his hands dirty because well, his Emperor HAS to see his worth as a suitor- I think that would be the only thing that would make him wrinkle his nose, poor boy, he wants to inspect more beasts and learn from them that he wants to kill

Although I guess it would be funny if, err, at some point the demon court was like "nooo the courtship isn't complete because he hasn't proven he can fight with Junshang!! He doesn't deserve Junshang's attentions!!", idk, they are just irritating and perhaps against this marriage because, after all, it doesn't even make political sense? A waste of resources? they are little bit to be a pain in the ass more than anything, as if they could influence Luo Binghe's opinion lol

But of course Shen Yuan just has to accept that, oh well he'll have this impending tussle with Luo Binghe, exactly THIS is how he wanted to end his week!!! (sarcasm, of course) Anyway, he's willing because, aha, if that's the way he should go...

Luo Binghe would definitely allow himself to lose because he WANTS this pretty suitor as his handsome husband (accepting his destiny of being a wife, please, he has already decided what his path will be), but I think he would fall dramatically to his knees when some other random suitor wants to take advantage from the whole situation and attack Luo Binghe too in the middle of the fight and Shen Yuan is just like "bitch I've been courting the Emperor for weeks to get here fuck you" and he ripped it out a piece of his jugular or something

It's not that Luo Binghe is surrendering, but, eh, there's a lot of blood, chaos and confusion and I guess the court accepts it as valid heheheh

I'M SORRY YOU GAVE ME SPACE TO RAMBLE AND YUM YUM YUM NOW I HAVE SNACKS TO GO WITH MY TEA HAHAHA THANKS FOR ASKING (⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡

[incorrectfatui]

some Fatui headcanons before we resume the quotes (some funny, some sad, some just random idk) these are all over the place but oh well Pierro: Really liked talking to Signora about magic. They both use very different kinds, but they still have similar understandings, and no one else really wants to hear him ramble

Capitano: Oblivious to romantic relationships. Thinks everyone is just really good friends.

Dottore: Got so seasick on the way to inazuma and back, that he genuinely considered never visiting again. Spent like 5 months trying to research medication against motion sickness and ended up poisoning himself. Intentionally makes mathematical mistakes in his budget reports, just to annoy Pantalone.

Columbina: can't swim.

Arlecchino: Says "I don't have a favourite child", but definitely has a favourite child. Tried making Dad jokes once and failed miserably, mostly because she didn't understand the joke herself. Sometimes forgets that most the Harbingers are immortal, so she'll have situations where she mentions researching some long dead person, only for one of the others to go "oh i knew that dude personally". Somewhat salty that she isn't hundreds of years old.

Crucabena: Her birthday is on christmas. She doesn't know what christmas is, so it doesn't matter, but she just gives off the vibe of being born in winter and I think it'd be funny. Wrote letters trying to get Neuvilette to implement the death penalty monthly, but never received a reply. Has, one more than one occasion, used Hydro not to fight, but to drown people, because she liked watching them struggle.

Clervie: her and Peruere once illegally operated an Aquabus while on a mission. Peruere may have used it to commit vehicular manslaughter. Also she made mother's day presents every year, despite them being thrown away. Tried to teach herself elemental magic, but couldn't figure it out without a teacher. Once overheard Crucabena praying to the Cryo Archon. briefly had hope that she changed for the better, only to hear "Thank you your Majesty for giving me the ability to give people hypothermia".

Lyney: Genuinely thought Arlecchino was a guy for like 3 months after being adopted. Also sometimes forgets that Freminet isn't his biological brother.

Lynette: More cat-like than Lyney. Has caught birds and eaten them raw before, but doesn't do it anymore, even though Arlecchino approves.

Freminet: More powerful than Lyney and Lynette, even if it doesn't seem like it. Doesn't have all that much control over his cryo vision yet, so he mostly uses it as a support for his claymore, instead of the other way around.

Pulcinella: Has a lot of fun calling everyone a child, even if he isn't older than them. Dottore? Unruly teenager. Scaramouche or Sandrone? Practically a toddler. Arlecchino and Childe? Babies. Only ones he doesn't do this to is Columbina and Pierro. Columbina because he's scared, Pierro because of respect.

Scaramouche: One of the only people who actually understands how Ei's Realm of Euthmiya works. Has tried to explain it to several people, including Pierro and Dottore, but get's frustrated every time because they don't understand it exactly. So overcharged with electro energy, that touching him may give you a small shockl (yes, even after Sumeru). Is actually not completely sure how his body actually works, and neither is Nahida. Dottore has a pretty level of knowlegde (although he still gets a lot of surprises), but the only one who actually understands his body completely is Ei.

Sandrone: Tried to become active in Fontainian politics at some point. Promptly fell asleep in the courtroom because she spent several all-nighters trying to complete a project of hers. Complicated feelings about Scaramouche, ranging from "I want to dissect him" to "no one understands this guy more than me, ignore the fact that we talk like once every 5 years"

Signora: Even with the cryo delusion, her body temperature runs really, really hot. Is basically a walking heater- Columbina likes using her as a portable source of warmth. Also, her blood being liquid fire is not an exaggeration- got wounded in the palace one time, only to burn down half a library.

Pantalone: Once suggested suing Raiden Ei for child support. It did not work.

Childe: Completely unaware that Arlecchino isn't the first Knave. Thinks she's immortal too. Also only figured out that Dottore has clones after about a year of being a Harbinger.

[delusional-daydreamer18]

Dunno, this is just a random headcanon but what if Og!Cale used to be a huge nerd when he was a young child? He'd be the most curious kid out of all the noble kids that exist out there in Roan, and he would have some weird interests/hyperfixations that would throw off most people (and some would comment "Act more properly like a noble, be composed.") — and because of that he doesn't really talk much about it. Except ofc to his mother because she would be the only one who'll listen to him patiently. Occasionally he would try to talk about it to Deruth but the man is a busy count so he doesn't get much time to talk to him freely.

But when someone shows interest in it, or even brings the topic up (usually, it's Eric) — Og!Cale will gush about it and begin to ramble nonstop, with sparkling eyes and a bright smile. The northeastern nobles trio would just listen, and would think from time to time how cute Og!Cale is when it comes to sharing about his interests.

Then his mother died and everything fell apart from there.

He begins to lose interest in most things he finds fascinating and would only cling to a few ones that actually comforts him, especially when he starts to pretend to be trash for both Basen and Violan and distances himself from the people he truly cares about.

The war happened and he completely lost interest in everything other than taking revenge for his family.

When he begins to live his life as Kim Rok Soo, slowly — he tries to regain his interests. He would try reading random strange books, would probably try to eat poison just to test something, and he'd try to cook meals Beacrox used to make for the Henituse back then because while he often acted as if his food tasted vile, he absolutely adored Beacrox's cooking and he regrets not getting to spend more time with his hyung bec of how he had to keep up a trash facade back then.

Whenever his teammates bring up something that is of his interest, Og!Cale — now Kim Rok Soo — would excitedly give feedback and proceeds to ramble like the nerd he is. His teammates are flabbergasted bec even though their team leader has been acting a bit off and unusual lately, he never runs his mouth as if his life depends on it — heck, he once said he prefers speaking in short, concise sentences to not waste his saliva!

Yet, they find themselves smiling, listening intently, wanting to get to know their team leader more. Maybe, just maybe, Kim Rok Soo is finally putting off the stoic mask he usually keeps around them and is now more comfortable being himself.

So they let Kim Rok Soo talk about his hyperfixations more, they'd try to learn more about said hyperfixations, and would even try to bond with him.

For the first time in his life, Kim Rok Soo feels accepted for who he is — mainly because he doesn't have to hide who he is anymore.

He is not the trashy Cale Henituse everyone finds revolting.

He's Kim Rok Soo, surrounded with his precious niece and people who support and love him for who he is.

Not for what he was.

[dioslesbianwife]

The la squadra with the Mikitaka partner.

How would they react to her not being affected by stand arrow sorry I love Mikitaka he dezeves more love

Imagen the Mikitaka partner not having iron in their blood because of risotto his stand it would be interesting

Mellone is having a feeld day that a alien partner that can shape shift

👽

sure, ty for requesting, hope you enjoy 👽👽👽

Risotto Nero

He does not believe you at first.

“Alien?” You nod excitedly. “Prove it.”

When you turn into a toaster in front of him with a gentle ding, his blood runs cold.

He tests your shapeshifting obsessively.

“Become a knife. Now a mask. Now a pencil. Now something that shouldn’t exist.”

He’s making a mental list of your capabilities and how dangerous you could be.

Once he realizes you’re immune to the arrow and have no iron in your blood, he stops treating you like a potential recruit and starts treating you like a mystery.

He watches you silently, sometimes for hours, like you’re a puzzle he will solve.

Secretly he respects you. You’re calm, focused, obedient when needed, and not overly emotionally reactive. He thinks you're the strangest being he’s ever met- but useful.

Prosciutto

“I don’t care what you are. If you can take orders, we’ll get along.”

He’s extremely practical. Doesn’t care if you’re human, alien, or an espresso machine. If you prove your usefulness, you’re part of the squad.

But he does get irritated by your bubbly weirdness. He once asked where you came from, and you said,

“A far away planet.”

And he almost lost it.

That said, he treats you with an odd mix of military strictness and distant kindness, like a confused soldier who wants you to stay in line.

Will not admit it, but he’s impressed by how resilient you are. 

Pesci

Terrified of you at first.

“B-Bro… BRO SHE TURNED INTO A RADIO!!!”

But once he sees you don’t mean harm and even offer him snacks from your bag, he warms up to you fast.

You’re the only one in the group who he can ask weird questions like,

“Do you poop?” or “Do you dream?” and you’ll answer cheerfully instead of judging him.

He ends up calling you “space buddy.” He thinks your shapeshifting is “freakin’ awesome!!” 

He has an innocent, wide-eyed amazement at you. Like you’re a real-life superhero.

Illuso

Suspicious. Rude. Keeps his distance.

“You’re lying. There’s no such thing as aliens. What, you think we’re stupid?”

You once shapeshifted into a mirror just to prove it. He screamed when he touched it and it  (you) whispered “hi” to him.

“You’re not magnetic. You don’t bleed right. You don’t even breathe right. What the hell are you?”

But once you call his Mirror World “pretty” and say it feels peaceful to you (like the quiet space of a stasis pod), he starts liking you. Quietly. Secretly.

He pretends to be annoyed, but he lowkey loves hearing you ramble about other galaxies and stuff.

Melone

Obsessed.

“Such a bizarre anomaly..! May I scan your DNA? Measure your fluid composition? Dissect your memories?”

The fact that you’re immune to the arrow drives him crazy with excitement. He wants to test every poison, fluid, and material he has on you.

You shapeshift into random objects around his lab and surprise him on purpose. He laughs every time.

“Oh! A bedpan! How interesting..”

He tries to flirt with you but it’s weird and overly clinical. “Your alien bone structure is just… gorgeously inhuman.”

He would absolutely want to reproduce with you just to see what kind of children would result. Not in a romantic way. Just in a freaky scientist way.

You’re his favorite lab rat. In a way that makes even Risotto consider kicking him off the team.

Formaggio

SO entertained by you.

“Holy crap, you’re like a vending machine and a girlfriend rolled into one.”

You shapeshift into speakers and blast music just for him. He loves it.

He makes dumb requests constantly. “Turn into a couch. Turn into a blender. Turn into a bong.” You sometimes do it just to mess with him.

“Hey hey, you ever dated an Earth guy before? You’re missin’ out.”

But he gets super protective of you once he realizes you’re not from this world and don’t really understand human cruelty or violence.

“Yo, back off. She’s not from here, alright? You make her cry, I’ll set Little Feet on you.”

Ghiaccio

Heated debate starts immediately.

“ALIENS AREN’T REAL. THIS IS A STAND ABILITY. SCIENCE EXISTS. GRAVITY EXISTS. SHUT UP.”

You giggle and shapeshift into a floor lamp behind him. He screams.

Constantly yells about how logically you shouldn’t exist.

“HOW THE HELL DO YOU BREATHE?! WHERE’S YOUR LUNG CAPACITY?!”

Secretly fascinated. Watches you when you think he’s not looking. Tries to find “holes” in your story but never succeeds.

You once said, “I like your anger, it’s cozy!” and he shut up for five minutes straight.

He’d never say it, but he kinda likes that you’re weird enough to match his chaos.

[kinbedo]

Tighnari teaching Cyno a few things about love with your help

Just a random brain rot from last night lol.

The slightly suggestive part is highlighted separately.

----------

When Cyno starts developing a crush, he doesn't really accept it because he wasn't sure of his feelings. Of course he consulted Tighnari first, and of course he received a "you're falling for them idiot" from him after he denied it for the nth time.

But when Cyno finally accepts that he is in love, he consults Tighnari again.

Surely Tighnari could help him with his feelings right? Especially since he has you, and thus has experience in this field

Everything starts nice and easy, with the two of them first discussing how real the light novels are when it comes to relationships

Planning a confession was also not so difficult (executing the plan was a different story though, it took Cyno months to finally go through with it)

Oh boy, forget about organizing dates, Cyno didn't even know how to hold someone's hand without a strictness like he's arresting or protecting them

And that's where you came in.

Tighnari starts with holding your hand and letting Cyno observe how gentle his hold was

If you don't mind it, then Cyno probably tried to hold your hand too, trying not to be too rough

He considered you a friend, plus he was in his "deep-learning" mode, so he didn't get embarrassed around you

Then came how sappy he should be, what phrases he should use and how often he should say things

Tighnari was in control through most of this conversation, but you had to help him neutralize his views because Cyno was a different person and you knew that all of Tighnari's tricks may not work for Cyno

(all of this would be easier if you know who Cyno's crush is, but depending on how you ask him, he would either be a bit too straightforward about his answer or would avoid answering that question for days)

(Cyno gets embarrassed easily and Tighnari loves teasing him)

You guys try teaching him the language of flowers! Just make sure the topic doesn't stray too far away from flowers though... (Tighnari may end up rambling about plants in general, and then start complaining about poisonous mushrooms and how people always mistake fungi for plants)

you both take turns telling Cyno about things he can do, things he can buy and where they can take them

Tighnari even teaches Cyno how he can make bookmarks out of leaves and flowers, because who doesn't love them?

All this ends up being a fun bonding activity for the three of you

When Cyno does go on the date, you both follow him

Is it to determine whether the person he's interested in deserves him or not? Partially

Mostly you, or rather, Tighnari is going to observe how Cyno deals with the date, because he's going reprimand him for any foolish mistakes he makes (Tighnari is a strict teacher in everything lol)

If Cyno's interest ends up being Nilou, then she'll probably notice the two of you behind him.

She might even wave at you when Cyno is not paying attention, a knowing smile on her face

----------

the not-so-sfw part

this part starts when Cyno's crush (now partner) tries getting intimate with him

but Cyno is not experienced at all so he asks you and Tighnari about your first time

Tighnari may end up getting a bit too scientific though by using proper terms and all the risks involving everything

this is also the part where you start feeling like Tighnari may have an exhibition kink

"How do you kiss someone?" Tighnari's answer should have been "just go with it, it may feel awkward at first but you get into it eventually"

but no

he uses you to show Cyno how to initiate kisses

the first one is a simple, innocent one where he gently holds your face and kisses you

and then comes the "if they like it rough, try this", where he pulls into him and kissing you aggressively

"or this one, which is rather popular in light novels", where Tighnari pins you up against the wall

Cyno observes you both closely until Tighnari actually kisses you, that's when he turns away saying "okay I think that's enough for me"

Thank god he turned around

Thank god Cyno did not notice Tighnari's knee because gosh that would've been even more embarrassing than it already is.

Tighnari also shows Cyno how he can hold their waist or just hug them from behind in general

He wraps his hands around your stomach and snuggles close to your neck, making you giggle

Even Cyno thought that was a cute hug

In the next one, Tighnari holds your waist and sways you around. His instructions for this one was for Cyno to imagine he was in a ballroom, dancing to slow music. Just typical romantic stuff

The NEXT one however, was a bit more... intimate

Tighnari pulls you closer by the waist and snuggles into you, his tail effectively covering the hand that was hovering a bit too close to your thighs.

He tells Cyno that this one can be used when his partner is feeling down and wants to feel protected (except, Cyno did not know where Tighnari's hand was, so he thought it was a completely innocent affair)

He ends the session by teasing Cyno about how he should ask him about even more intimate things next time to which Cyno replies "yeah no, I think I get that part. Your recollection of your first experience was enough for me."

Tighnari just laughs, but you notice his eyes. The slight disappointment in them. He wanted to show you off.

You don't know how to ask him but questions start running through your head.

Would he do this in front of everyone? Knowing him, he won't. He'll probably want to do it in front of people he completely trusts

Does he want to share you? Maybe with Cyno, and that's it. Probably not even with Al Haitham or Kaveh.

Would he let someone else do the same things he does to you? No, you don't think so. He'll only let them get so far with you.

While you ponder, you notice Tighnari smiling at you.

He must have realized what you were thinking about, because he just smirks and asks "well, how did you like that?"

----------

[brucewaynehater101]

Hurt/comfort AU based on a dream I had:

Tim has been Robin for a short time now.

Bruce finds Tim's fanfiction account.

At this point in time, Bruce has warmed up a little bit to Tim, but they still have a more professional relationship. Tim thinks he has to earn his spot still.

Bruce finds Tim's fanfiction account that has fics from before and after Tim becomes Robin.

The before ones are self-insert Bats ones. Plots like a nine, ten, and eleven year old being saved, being the witness to a crime, or solving the case before them. They all end with the self-insert joining the team.

The ones after Tim becomes Robin are filled with Batman being fatherly and kind to the self-insert (who's an additional vigilante) or to Robin. He'll ruffle their hair, hug them, and tell them that he's proud of them. All of this is stuff Bruce currently doesn't do for Tim.

There's only a few fics where Batman is written in embarrassed situations (and Bruce crossed referenced the upload dates. Some of the dates were after Bruce did something mean or fucked up. The others, Bruce has no idea why Tim might have been upset).

When Bruce first reads the fics, he's mad. He, incorrectly, assumes that Tim has always been trying to become part of the team and took the first opportunity available. He's cold to Tim for a few weeks because of this (because Bruce is an emotionally constipated asshole who doesn't communicate).

Then Bruce starts to notice that the relationships Tim describes in his fics don't match up with how their relationship currently is. The teen doesn't eagerly ramble about his activities, ask Bruce to hang out with him, or otherwise engage unless it's mission related.

In fact, Tim's fanfics seem to portray what doesn't happen in their interactions. With Bruce being cold to Tim, the self-insert gets more hugs, words of affection, and praise.

Bruce learns more about Tim's hobbies, likes, dislikes, and passions from the fanfics than he ever knew. Bruce has the startling realization that they just don't talk.

There's a few fics Bruce has been avoiding (the ones with Robin II tags), but he read the ones with Nightwing. Tons of brotherly bonding and affection, basically.

Bruce finally makes up his mind when Tim releases a new fanfic a few days after an interaction with Poison Ivy. In the fic, Robin had gotten dosed with cuddle pollen and was cuddled all night with Batman and Nightwing.

Bruce is in a panic because he realizes that Tim could've gone back to his own house afflicted with cuddle pollen, and Bruce would have never known. He doesn't even know if Tim was making this fanfic as a desire due to him actually being dosed or if it just came to his mind. This freaks Bruce the fuck out.

Thus, Bruce then uses the fanfics as guides for how he should be acting with Tim and Dick. He puts the effort to be a better mentor and parent to them.

It freaks the other two out at first (and Tim is the most resistant to the change), but they slowly become closer.

Bruce never tells anyone that he found Tim's fanfic account.

Part 2: After Red Hood comes back and does the whole Titan's Tower Attack.

Bruce, after realizing that Tim's fanfiction account now had Red Hood fics (both ones making fun of the man and ones where the crime lord is being kind/brotherly), tells Jason mid-fight that he should check out this random fanfic account Bruce thinks he'd enjoy.

Jason, obviously fucking confused why Batman is recommending fanfiction in the middle of a fight, just stops.

Bruce nods at this, tells Jason he cares about him (Bruce has been working on it!), and then just leaves.

Cue Jason researching this account (that he doesn't initially know is Tim's) and going through a series of conflicted emotions.