#Raising My Rainbow
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On another random note...
Thursday was M's one month pediatric appointment. Apparently there is a maternal mental health screening completed in conjunction with that appointment. The screening is a questionnaire that I had to complete on MyChart. The kicker is that I had to complete the screening in the office instead of before the appointment with the precheck process. Why is this a big deal? Well, I had to awkwardly fill out this survey in the exam room while sitting between the peds nurse and my husband with absolutely no privacy. I found it very challenging to be honest in my responses with my husband reading over my shoulder, and several times he chimed in and said things like, "I would say the answer to that is 'never', you are doing great!" Not in a malicious way, he truly thinks I'm doing amazing because I just don't talk to him about everything that I experience emotionally. He knows I struggle sometimes, but not the extent of it. Also, there was this (likely irrational) primal fear that kicked in that if I was too honest someone would take my baby from me. All of the feelings of losing my twins flooded with that thought and I felt like I had to do whatever it took to make sure I didn't get another baby ripped from me. So yeah, a not so fun experience.
To be clear though, I don't think I have PPD or PPA. I think I have grief, trauma responses and generalized anxiety that are all heightened in this postpartum period.
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I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.
He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.
Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.
In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.
Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.
Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?
That kid?
You think that kid is Red Robin?
Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.
#gotham knights game#I'm now incorporating this into all my Tim headcanons across the multiverse#twice a week as part of maintaining his Normal Teenager Identity#he streams random shit on YouTube/Twitch#he's got the full gamer set up in the background#LED lights around the ceiling and walls#rainbow keyboard/headset#mini fridge filled with Monster Energy Drinks#(other streamers have 'take a shot' prompts in chat. his audience has 'drink water before you die')#whenever he hosts a charity stream Bruce makes an appearance in chat via the official Wayne Enterprises account#and promises to match whatever they raise#and then hangs about for a bit to cheer Tim on#he's the epitome of 'are ya winning son?' meme#meanwhile off screen#Tim's keeping an eye on a seperate monitor#and helping Babs run remote ops#if his stream suddenly dies (which is does fairly often) he blames it on the Manor having shitty wifi#and that tracks#it's an old house#it's probably FILLED with lead and dead signal spots#in reality Tim killed the stream because Red Robin is needed#and no one will ever know
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in my heart of hearts mike wheeler is absolutely an athena kid but i also have to offer up a concept that i think has extreme comedic and dramatic potential aka: repressed gay teenager mike showing up at camp half blood unsure of who his godly parent is and feeling insecure about not having powers and one day when he’s making not-so-secret heart eyes at his best friend and son of apollo will byers is when a bunch of glowing floating hearts show up above his head. and that’s how mike gets claimed by none other than aphrodite, the goddess of love and sexuality, and is in full denial about it for three days because he thinks it’s some kind of sick and twisted JOKE
(on aphrodite’s end, she’s upset mike is throwing away the gift of true love and keeps trying to trick him out of repression by making more and more improbable and hilarious gifts appear when he and will are hanging out. mike hands will a book and it turns into a box of chocolates and he has to fling it away like a frisbee before will sees it. they’re having lunch and romantic music starts playing. she gives mike the same blessing she used to claim piper and will can’t even look in his direction for a full day because he starts blushing so hard. fifty bouquets of flowers show up at the apollo cabin’s doorstep with a note that says love, mike and by the end of it, mike isn’t even repressed and unsure about his sexuality anymore — he’s just trying to not throw himself into the bonfire out of sheer embarrassment)
#also shoutout to piper mclean bc i think her arc of not believing she is an aphrodite kid bc she doesn’t fit the model for it and having#been teased and made an outcast of sorts kind of jaded her and made her actively rebel against being an aphrodite kid#i just think that is very mike wheeler of her#n then she spends five books learning what love means and what being an aphrodite kid means#again. very mike. to Me#credits to abby bc i said ‘what if mike shows up at chb and he is repressed and gay and immediately gets claimed by iris the rainbow goddess#and she said i see this and raise you aphrodite#and i said oh my fucking god.#anyways might write this. (is opening a google doc)#but we will see.#again like in all actuality i think he is super an athena kid to Me anyway. although i think a pjo/st au is one that is very open to inter#*interpretation#i just think this hc has a little kick to it#before anyone gets MAD and says no that’s STUPID and he would totally be Blah Blah Blah. i don’t want to hear it#byler#mike wheeler#/astro posts#pjo
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Inktober 2023
Day 3 - Path
I put my hand on the door and bent over so I could see them. "He shouldn't be alone right now." "He isn't!" they both said. "I should keep an eye on him." I stood up again. "We'll drive you back," Agatha said. "No. No. You'll be late for Christmas Eve. Go." I shut the door, turned around, and immediately started to run.
Carry On. Chapter 67.
#inktober 2023#inktober#my art#carry on#rainbow rowell#day three#path#simon snow#raise your hand if you love Simon running off like a maniac back to Pitch Manor#he knows that this is a long and miserable path to the house#but even waiting for the car to turn around is too long#penny bunce#agatha wellbelove#who's hard to see
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It is her. The fast.
#mlp#rainbow dash#my little pony#mlp g4#my little pony friendship is magic#i must have unlocked some kind of speedrun strat or something cause i drew this a lot quicker than usual#her mane colours are a bit slapdash and busy but i wanted to try something there#raise your hand if you're surprised that my wings are still weird
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MLP Song Tournament
Please listen to both songs before voting.
youtube
youtube
Raise This Barn
My Past Is Not Today
#mlp#my little pony#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp fim#mlp g4#eqg#equestria girls#polls#polls on tumblr#tournament polls#mlp music#FiM vs EqG#Fim vs EqG Round 1#Apple Family Reunion#FiM#Rainbow Rocks Shorts#EqG#Raise This Barn#My Past Is Not Today#0x8v0x17#Youtube
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Machine accidents
#so you know how I made Rainbow lights dad for funzies?#yeah Light accidentally got messed with in a machine and turned into a small child#Sabre is laughing his ass off out of frame#Rainbow does not want to raise Light#he doesn’t want to be a dad#(too bad)#steve saga#favremysabre#rainbow steve#light steve#my art#favremysabreart#sins of the forefathers
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looked up "lesbian video game characters from 1987" and found an instant win in my book
[image id: A screenshot of a Wikipedia page with the date "1988" on the left with a video game title "Caper in the Castro" to its right. Next to the title are the names of video game characters Tracker McDyke, a lesbian, and Tessy LaFemma, a gay drag queen. end image id.]
#was NOT expecting to be hit right out of the gate with this but im not going to complain#its wiki says its probably the first video game to focus on queer themes and was created to raise money for the aids epidemic. neat!#lesbian#caper in the castro#queer#queer characters#taste the (gay) rainbow#my post
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i wanted to post these as separate closeups as well!
#carry on#snowbaz#the simon snow series#rainbow rowell#wesley#my boy :)#fristi’s art#oc#raising dragons
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maybe this was common knowledge and ive been severely out of the loop but the fact that russel t davies is gay is kind of rocking my world rn?
#like obviously his characters were always super fuckin queer but idk there is still something different knowing that like#its not accidental rep its not pandering its not rainbow capitalism#its one of us telling our stories#like. idk how much torchwood criticism ive read that boiled down to 'they all act bi but dont address it'#and then seeing a clip of an interview w him being like 'yeah thats deliberate i thought it was time to bring bi ppl into mainstream#and i think in a world with literal aliens it would get a lot harder to care about gender in the first place to even need to try#and define it' and its like. hello???? why did no one mention this before?????????#like that literally describes 99% of my friends is 'am i gay? am i bi? do i have gender preference at all? fuck if i know i have#bigger issues to think about'#ppl criticized it for being bad representation but like. is it?#is a group of misfits with nowhere else to go and only each other to rely on who have weirdly intense co-dependant#sometimes toxic messy relationships and lots of hooking up not descriptive of like. most queer friend groups#raise a hand if youre queer and arent exes with at least one of your closest friends. yeah thats what i thought#anyways thats all thank you verilybitchy for your doctor who videos im astral projecting#origibberish
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Do you have any general hcs of the 1bit/1beat cast? Anythings fine
Kind of rough but
-I've played around with the idea with Eruno being from an orphanage/foster home(the "because you've got a proper family" bit) but I go back and forth on this one.
-Nio and Sakuma are friends! He does shifts at Bitwave they hang out there. The poor boy needs someone to fend off the fangirls.
-Eruno and Akitaka accompany Haruya on deliveries sometimes. Pals.
-When Aira's mimetic muscles get installed she doesn't really quite get how to use them immediately. Her expressions start out real stiff(which she expresses dissatisfaction with, and gets help from the others) to real exaggerated and overplayed(think unbridled rage or pained anguish at things that just kind of annoy her).
-Also she has Kiri make her taller so she can grow alongside her friends!
-Also Also by 1beat she has at LEAST one sibling who's just, a really muscled out doll in frilly clothes.
-Meru listens to death metal. She'd hoped it'd help her stay up better but now she just kind of likes it.
-Outside of tending to the shrine, Hakuhi has embroidery as a hobby.
-Izuchi took piano lessons when he was younger(parents made him do it to try and play up the prodigy genius image). He quit.
-That potion thing he made in 1beat was ripped from Kirai's anime but in part he'd made it after Eruno came to him Demanding a way to make her dog live longer.
-He went to Blue sun college(less because he thought he needed to and more for the benefits a degree there would give him) and got into an apprenticeship with Kiri. He keeps the lab when Kiri moves to Coco Alley(easier to skirt by the law). Familiar with the Blue Sun Trio to some extent.
-He has a sweet tooth but doesn't really admit it because he deems it unhealthy.
-While he did have a hand in the creation of the master program, he doesn't stay on the team after it's finished. Does continue to get occasional updates about it from Hiyu and Nanase though.
-His room is all clean and organized on the surface(maybe a few seashell displays, a poster covering a hole in the wall) but he keeps all the goofy weird shit stored away in drawers and under his bed.*
-I've played around with the idea of there being a 3rd Nasuga sibling who's just too young to be relevant in the game(<-no canon basis i just thought it'd be fun) but I'm not sure if I'd keep that.
-Enri has a pet hamster! He's like the band's son.
-The gang Kirara used to be a part of was like a sparkly gyaru girl gang. She never really enjoyed fighting but took a lot of lessons growing up so she was really good at it. The gang is still going strong though and at least a few of her Gyaru Friends are members(and there's at least one member who's just a plain normal ass girl that hangs around them but that's getting into oc territory).
-Rocca ends up growing up to be like Really Fucking Tall. Momori models clothes on her and remarks that she could be a model if she didn't trip over herself so much(not that she'd want to be one anyways).
-Mary has 3 siblings, they've done a way better job at staying out of the public eye(and have grown somewhat distant from her as a result).
-On account of being friends with a lot of the townspeople and having a lot of relatives, Hitohito is just one of those guys with a lot of connections. In a "guy who knows a guy" way.
-Chino is Coco Alley's mom jkasdsa.
--She brings Sora(was familiar with his family and doesn't want him to get too lonely) cookies and flowers sometimes and while he's dismissive about it he does secretly appreciate it.
-Tobari is the heiress to a big tea emporium who dipped because she got bored and/or got into a disagreement with someone over there, but continues playing up her Elegant Fancy Lady image despite living paycheck to paycheck(which I mean, good for her I guess.)
-Although Sagara knows Asuto through Hitohito, they actually interact fairly regularly in anime forums.
-Hitohito, Izuchi, and Sagara were on friendly terms when they were kids but grew distant for reasons. Hitohito and Sagara had gotten back in touch and still hang out. Heat reached out to Izuchi but was promptly brushed off, still looks out for him. Izuchi and Sagara have a weird frenemy/rival thing going on.
-Sagara has no siblings she just kind of lives alone with her mom who may or may not hate her.(although it's less "hate" so much as disappointment)
-Sagara's chicken avatar is modeled after one of her childhood pets.
-Sagara definitely Naruto runs.
-She holds DnD(\Dnd adjacent. Just some ttrpg I'm not an expert) sessions at every couple of weeks. I'm not saying Izuchi willingly participates(those commoners are hopeless without his guidance), just that she didn't exactly have very many other people to invite(Hitohito and sometimes Meu and eventually Nanashi).
-She has a knack for trying to help townspeople as part of some sort of Magical Girl Code but isn't as good at it as she thinks she is.
-She has a compartment in her arm warmers that's full of bird feed, she's made an alliance with the pigeons.
-While she does cool it with the Organization stuff, she never drops the chuuni behavior. Eventually opens a small cake shop with some edgy chuuni-esque title(debated on whether it should be in the same place Little Berry was, like after little berry closes its doors).
-Nomiya and Hiyu butt heads a lot but they both get along fine with Azusa. Somebody needs to be nice to her god damn it.
-The Kujohs have a pet dog but it's actually Azusa's. Following with the rest of the family, it's a big intimidating dog that's actually just really chill. Enri has tried to look past it but he's always very leery about visiting them.
-Nomiya's riding an adrenaline high throughout most of the game but his more calm demeanor in his events is just him going in the opposite extreme as a result of coming down from it. He's usually fairly loud and confrontational, just not THAT loud and confrontational.
-He keeps in closest touch with Tobari after the hackers are disbanded. Somewhat on account of her being able to hold her own in Break Passage the best out of the other three. She views him as a weird little brother.
-The hackers hold gatherings in memory(or what little of that memory they even retained. It's mostly secondhand from Nanashi) of Mikado where they commit minor crimes. The gathering was Kotora's idea the crime was Nomiya's.
-Sagara has a journal that she calls the Abyss Tome that's just full of fanfiction and anime drawings of herself and her friends(/enemies). Has a bunch of spell names listed down in it.
-Saaya and Meu are friends! Saaya comes to her for divinations about her love life a lot and just ends up venting. Meu's happy to listen though and tries to comfort her the best she can.
-Speaking of therapy though, Saaya does get therapy sometime post-canon and distances herself from Nanase(while a lot of Nanashi's friendships that start off on the wrong foot have room for growth, the memory thing makes things kind of... weird with her). She's in a much better state by 1beat.
-Saaya writes a lot of poetry.
-Yoh and Sagara are related. Somehow(I did consider nephew at one point but that didn't really pan out).
-So are Hiyu and Arumu. They've got that green hair and funky eyebrows.
-Akuta and Kaori date briefly(well, she's a fan of his work, and he is rich, and while he can't speak multiple languages he is well-spoken, what could go wrong?) which just ends in them breaking up over a disagreement over a book's ending. That was more the final straw though, actually getting to know him put into perspective just how far from her expectations he actually is and she's not super pleased about it. They do stay friends but something something important lesson about your idols being people.
-I feel like I've said somewhere that Kotora leaves the cafe to Rocca when he retires but I need to clarify that Kotora keeps being the cafe guy well into old age and that Rocca would be a whole adult by then.
-Kaori was the youngest of her siblings and only one to stay with her mother, she sees her dad as a good for nothing deadbeat(it wasn't an amicable divorce) and the ordeal heavily influenced how she views romantic relationships as a whole. Grew up somewhat distant from Kotora and their sister but reconnected in adulthood.
-Her "ideal guy" is just the best traits of her favorite book leads cobbled together like some kind of frankenguy. (And she might be internalizing something... who knows)
-The world did enter a more 'cyberpunk dystopia'-esque futuristic state a long time ago and the return to more traditional old timey ways is sort of in response to that, but Yasune is the only one who'd actually lived through it. Although then again the 2nd oldest character in the game is only 36 so...
The post is starting to not process so I'm going to cut it off here.
#*The example I had listed on my hc file was 'life sized Danny Devito cardboard cutout' but I don't know if I want to keep that#The piano hc was more the remnant of a sweet beach band au I had because I was thinking about rainbow rocks again#Sweet beach is interestingly enough my go-to for aus. I've never even told you guys about the fantasy au#(they're just adventurers though it's nothing extravagant. It doesn't even cover all the characters)#Mary's parents were in the picture when she became an idol but her siblings were raised by their grandparents.#Tobari stays at hotels and spends most of her paycheck on fancy tea.#she's kind of ridiculous levels of Jack-Of-All-Trades but it helps that she's a fast learner#Chino wasn't incredibly close with Sora's parents(friends maybe) but that won't stop her from looking out for the boy. New son#Haruya was probably pals with his brother. Regardless of how he may have felt about Sora himself(scary)#Kirai probably made an offhanded comment about outgrowing everyone someday so he's really pissed when he ends up#shorter than both Haruya and Rocca#You probably were wanting more 1beat hcs but as much as I love the 1beat cast I've only replayed recently#so none of my thoughts about the cast are quite fully formed yet#Might make a follow up eventually though because the hc file is Long#Omitted most of the ones I've already talked about but since those are scattered about my tags and the server I probably#should've included some of those too. Feel free to ask for elaboration on anything#Some of them get kind of lengthy too and I left most of those out but I did leave a few in and just heavily handwaved the details#Some of the shorter ones were shortened too because the post just wouldn't process ashsaldhjka#pieceofcake.txt#cakeheadcanons
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🌈 Happy Pride, everyone! 🏳️🌈
A (very late) post to celebrate Pride Month featuring one of my favorite groups of characters! I still have a lot of work to do on them, though, but eventually they'll have their own story 😅
I hope that everyone is having a great month! Whether you're out or still figure things out I hope that you enjoy all the love going around.
#finally decided to post these#better late than never right?#😅#i was at the mall the other day and i was so happy because#there were so many groups of people dressed up#in rainbows and all kinds of just fun pride stuff#and i was wearing my rainbow glasses and#even though i'm not really out yet#it still felt super sweet to see everyone be so happy#anyway yeah inspirational moment of the week#that was long sorry i just haven't stopped thinking about it#i've never seen so much pride in june irl it was amazing for me#especially since i was raised in a very straight environment#i love it so much#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 screenshots#ts4 screenshots#sims 4 pride#ts4 pride#jayda#desmond lackey#gregory thorpe#elyse dillard
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"Welcome to Messi's world - where 'the unseen' becomes 'the predictable'!"
#lionel raised the bar so high NASA is still building a rocket strong enough to go that high#people really watch all this and more and think “CRY7 is better because he is flashy”#Ok dumbasses#I guess what does a blind person know of rainbows#lionel messi#also that commentary is one of my most favorites#what's impossible for others is a daily thing for leo
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i am........... not well
#saw something about an ex christian asking christians why they believe and im just. having a lot of thoughts right now#^ex christian#idk man i was raised that way but there is no beauty in that form for me !!!!!!!!!!!! where is the love and joy and understanding#for those outside YOUR OWN FORM#idk idk idk#i hold no hatred or spite for anyone who follows 'anything greater' but i cannot hold myself in the hands of god#we are all the dancing god we tell our stories and make them real. do you understand me#we are shaping AND shaped and there is no existential truth beyond the breathtaking beauty that means we exist#WE EXIST#AND MANY THINGS WE CANNOT SEE AND OTHER THINGS WE CANNOT KNOW. IS THERE NO SHAPE FOR WONDER IN THIS WORLD#IS THERE NO BREATH FOR DREAMS#where is the space for beauty and joy outside the church and steeple. where is the room for breath outside the book.#where is the sight of skies without the glass between them#this is for every religion btw. not just this one#IDK#IM TURNING INTO MY DAD SEND HELP#i just think you should explore the kaleidoscopic wonder of the nature of nature without locking yourself into a black and white rainbow
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Saw my tiny cousins this morning (one is five one is seven) they’re so fucking cute dude what the hell we played a board game and then one of them watched me play the Nintendo switch bc they lost their video game time for one week but I snuck them some video game time bc I’m a cool older cousin 😎
#I love when kids are obsessed with how cool I am like yes I look abnormal yes I am still kind yes I am sweet and friendly#esp bc they’re raised pretty conservative so I can be me with rainbow hair and space earrings and a shiney silver skirt like idk#I just love seeing my family I haven’t seen them in so fucking long it makes me want to cryyyy
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yeah no im not going to lie to you gewls. the psychic damage of having to apply for the full-time version of my internship a year ago was kinda unbearable but like it made sense that i had to do that. but the psychic damage of having to apply for the literal EXACT same job that i am CURRENTLY IN just at a regular status with better benefits… is quite simply unspeakable. make it make sense.
#purrs#i feel horrible for complaining abt it bc again… im potentially getting fast tracked to regular status and a raise and that is an extremely#generous big deal. but how the fuck am i supposed to do any of this. like you mean i have to do a peasant dance ON THE PODIUM after winning#the dance competition ⁉️⁉️⁉️ like how do i even write this cover letter or ask for references or anything. i get why they have to do a searc#so it’s equitable and fair and whatever but this position was MADE for me and im already in it like… it’s fucking embarrassing for everyone#involved. why are we going through all of this why are you making me a dog in a thundervest AGAINNNNNN. attacka you attacka you attacka you.#delete later#like i feel so much despair agout it but it’s also so upsetting it’s funny. of course i have to apply for my own job not once but TWICE.#hell watch it be three times too once i finish killing myself getting a masters degree i don’t even want 😍😍😍😍😍😍 it’s all rainbows and#sunshine until they decide i have to walk across the coals one more time just for kicks huh. and you wonder why im on the verge of a nervous#breakdown literally constantly and am extremely distrustful and paranoid about anything having to do with my positioning in this work LOOOOL#like actually wha happened last year was i walked across the coals and then as soon as i made it safely to the other side a volcano erupted#and we all drowned in lava but i survived and now it’s like oh you have to walk across the coals again 😇 LIKE STFU DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT HELL#IJUST OVERCAME. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! but it isn’t of course and i get it but also like WHAT the fuck. this sux 😍
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