#before anyone gets MAD and says no that’s STUPID and he would totally be Blah Blah Blah. i don’t want to hear it

[astrobei]

in my heart of hearts mike wheeler is absolutely an athena kid but i also have to offer up a concept that i think has extreme comedic and dramatic potential aka: repressed gay teenager mike showing up at camp half blood unsure of who his godly parent is and feeling insecure about not having powers and one day when he’s making not-so-secret heart eyes at his best friend and son of apollo will byers is when a bunch of glowing floating hearts show up above his head. and that’s how mike gets claimed by none other than aphrodite, the goddess of love and sexuality, and is in full denial about it for three days because he thinks it’s some kind of sick and twisted JOKE

(on aphrodite’s end, she’s upset mike is throwing away the gift of true love and keeps trying to trick him out of repression by making more and more improbable and hilarious gifts appear when he and will are hanging out. mike hands will a book and it turns into a box of chocolates and he has to fling it away like a frisbee before will sees it. they’re having lunch and romantic music starts playing. she gives mike the same blessing she used to claim piper and will can’t even look in his direction for a full day because he starts blushing so hard. fifty bouquets of flowers show up at the apollo cabin’s doorstep with a note that says love, mike and by the end of it, mike isn’t even repressed and unsure about his sexuality anymore — he’s just trying to not throw himself into the bonfire out of sheer embarrassment)

[yhwhsdaughter]

HQ!! Manager being protective when people insult their player

(ft. oikawa, hinata, tanaka, yachi, osamu, kuroo)

Warnings: threats, physical altercations, bullying, public humiliation

I usually don’t condone the usage of violence, but I woke up mad today lmao

OIKAWA

the pretty setter was getting ready to serve, his fangirls screaming in support while the rest of the team took a break.

to the side were a couple of guys staring in jealousy, “heh, his weak ass gets a big ego just because—”

they continued their insults and while they didn’t reach oikawa, his team members certainly heard it all

teasing oikawa was different when it came from them because they genuinely cared about him,, but for someone else to continuously bully the setter without reason?? it was infuriating

before any of them could kick their asses, their manager approached them.

(name) was perhaps the most polite individual they’d met; always patient and kind despite their antics

“ah, i can see the misunderstanding that oikawa is a weakling. he’s got a broken knee and constantly pushes himself despite the excruciating pain.”

the aura surrounding them suddenly turned dark and cold as (name) clutched the shoulder of the main bully with an iron grip

“what about you? shall i break your knee so we can find out if you’re stronger than him?”

at that moment, their gentle mannered manager had the eyes of a beast, unyielding as the guy tried to escape their grip

when they left, the players approached (name) who still glared in that direction. “woah we didn’t know you could be so scary (name)”

now calmer, they replied, “you’re my team, i would kill anyone that tries harm you.”

it was such a matter-of-fact that the males couldn’t help but laugh “haha you’re funny too”

“am i laughing?”

that day they learned their precious manager would deadass commit murder for them

extra: when oikawa found you defended him, he ran with open arms, “(name)-channnnn marry me!” squeezing the life out of you

HINATA

competition hadn’t even started and people were already shit talking karasuno

“flightless crows” blah blah blah

as their third manager, you would be in the benches with yachi, supporting the team

however, hinata had gone to the bathroom and he wasn’t back. daichi had sent you to get him since the game was about to start

you found the team’s sunshine nearly corned by a tall player “aah you’re so short and you’re a middle blocker?? i’ll be looking down on you little shrimp!”

he didn’t get to say more because your leg swiftly hit the back of his knees, falling to the ground harshly.

no one and i mean no one messes with hinata without you getting a few hits in, regardless height

“oh look. you’re below him now”

mans was lucky y’all were in a competition, otherwise he wouldn’t have left unscathed

with that, you steered your baby hinata away from that asshole, throwing him a dirty look in case he wanted to try anything

if he did, you would not hold back. literally on sight

fyi hinata was totally not blushing the entire way back. everytime you approach him now he gets all flustered

everyone else is like ???

TANAKA

the ladies man, tanaka had encountered a group of attractive girls at the arcade so he decided to shoot his shot

when they declined, tanaka was prepared to leave them alone, respectful of a woman’s boundaries, but they decided to verbally attack him

“who’d wanna go out with you?” “yeah you’re so ugly, stupid baldie”

wrong move

unfortunately for them, you were also at the arcade, having heard how the entire conversation went down

you knew tanaka would never use violence against a girl, even if they were rude, but you would.

equal rights equal fights bitch

those girls never saw it coming, you grabbing the leader’s hair roughly and yanking it back, “you’re right, longer hair is much better”

you went feral; simultaneously slapping the others away when they tried to pull you off, your tight grip never faltering.

only when tanaka placed a gentle hand on your arm that you released her

“insult him again and you’ll be the baldie next time”

in short, tanaka now sees you as his personal deity. boy will adore you

YACHI

the third years were gone now

kiyoko had left the team in your and yachi’s hands, with you mainly taking charge as the now-third year manager

the team all sat together for lunch (yes, tsukki too), they were waiting for you since you’d been talking with a teacher

a girl in front of you side-eyed yachi, watching with envy as the blonde sweetheart spoke with the handsome volleyball players

plan brewing in that toxic mind of hers, the girl pretended to trip, spilling her lunch all over yachi. the team didn’t have time to react, watching in shock as food splatted on her lap

sis even had the audacity to say “oh sorry didn’t see you there” as if she didn’t just purposefully throw her food on someone else

worry not, because you returned the favor.

as soon as she gave her faux apology, your food was already making its way down her head to her shoes

there wasn’t a part of her left uncovered

“my bad, i thought you were the trash” you did not look sorry at all

half of the cafeteria watched this unfold—tsukki even making some snide remarks. you grabbed yachi’s hand, guiding her to the restroom to help her clean off

from that moment on, people got the message to never mess with the volleyball team lest they face the wrath of their manager

OSAMU

osamu was your best friend, the reason why you joined inarizaki as their manager

currently, you were in home ed, making the assigned dish but it wasn’t difficult so your movements were lax so much that you couldn’t help but overhear the conversation going on in front of your table

at the mention of osamu, your ears perked up

“he was SUCH a jerk. i kept asking hoping he would grow tired and say yes, but nooooo. apparently osamu thinks he’s better than me”

some of her friends looks uneasy at her inability to take ‘no’ for an answer but the girl continued on her rant

the teacher stepped out for a moment. “HAHAHAHHAHA” the class turned to look at you, laughing like a maniac while you chopped vegetables with scary precision and inhuman strength

“you sure got some nerve, harassing someone like that.. especially my best friend”

that was the moment the grew knew she’d fucked up. she couldn’t even answer back because the teacher was back.

you made a point to ask the teacher if you could be partners with that girl for the next lesson, making her gulp in fear as you ran a finger across your throat

to say the least, she stopped talking for the remainder of the class

KUROO

chemistry?? you and kuroo?? friends?? together in class???

a fucking chaos

just kidding. the two of you were actually really good students. the best, if you had to brag

despite being the teacher’s favorite, you were lowkey about it while kuroo liked to insert as many chem jokes as he could in presentations

it was kinda embarrassing and you subtly teased him, but never with malicious intent

during a lab, you got partnered with a bully. you tried to ignore him and continue working, but it kept getting worse.

the breaking point was dragging in kuroo to all of this. you’d rejected his offers of going on a date and when kuroo made a motion to ask if you were ok, the dude took it as a sign to talk shit

“seriously? him? he’s a fucking nerd. his jokes are lame and has shitty hair—”

your eye twitched. “oi you better stop if you don’t want me to burn your face off”

clueless in class, he didn’t know how to handle the material so you were doing all the work. he didn’t believe you

bringing in the acidic substance near his face is when he finally backed away, at which point you had already called the teacher and told them that he was playing around with dangerous chemicals

although it was the other way around, who do you think the teacher believed, their star student or the school bully??

lmao, bitch could ask his detention buddies out on a date now

kuroo: ??

[padfootspensieve]

Wolfstar x Showing Affection (feat. oblivious James)

Sirius is very tactile.

He shows affection through hugging—hugs, hand-holding, playing with people's hair, just random mindless touching throughout the day.

Remus is more verbally affecionate.

He will constantly gives compliments—"i love your dress," "your hair looks great today," etc.

Unless he really likes someone.

Then he just

Stop talking.

Okay, back to Sirius.

Sirius seems like the 'heartless bad boy,' but he's a real softie when it comes to his friends.

He is constantly showing them affection.

Ruffling James' hair (much to James' chagrin).

Flinging himself dramatically over Remus' lap in the common room.

Putting his arms around his friends while they're walking down the corridors.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), he flirts much the same way.

Nobody would ever know this, of course, because he doesn't actually first with anyone.

Except for Remus.

"But what about all those girls who fall at his feet?"

He's naturally charming, okay? Give him a break.

Anyway, his flirting felt a lot like his friendship.

Sirius figured out he was gay at the end of third year or beginning of fourth, and realized he liked Remus a little later.

But you would never know it.

Sirius was constantly flirting with Remus.

But nobody knew.

Remus realized he liked Sirius a little later, maybe middle to end of fourth year.

Sirius gets really anxious when Remus stops talking to him.

"What did I do?"

"Is he okay?"

"Does he hate me?"

"Why?"

Pining, blah blah blah. Minor angst, blah blah blah.

They get together—yay!

They decide they don't want to tell anyone just yet, not even their closest friends.

And nobody can tell.

They're openly flirting.

Nobody knows.

Sirius will literally walk into the common room and sit in Remus' lap and start playing with his hair, and James will just be like

"Oh, hey Padfoot."

Remus will be showering Sirius with compliments about how pretty his eyes are, how soft his hair is, and Peter just goes

"Oh yeah, Sirius, you have to tell me what shampoo you use."

(It's Fleamont's Sleakeazy Potions—the one James refuses to use, even though Fleamont readily gave both James and Sirius a lifetime supply).

They will literally walk down the halls holding hands

Regulus will give Sirius a knowing smile

(He knows. Obviously).

Lily will give the same smile to Remus.

James and Peter will just think

"Oh that's just something we do know, I guess?"

Remus decides they need to tell them, it's getting painful to watch.

Sirius disagrees, and, because he's Sirius, wonders how long they can keep going before anyone notices.

Okay, so they're not telling anyone just yet.

But they're not holding back, either.

One night, Sirius decides to go to bed, so he gets up and kisses Remus on the forehead.

"Mate, you're gonna kiss Moons but not me? When did he become your best friend?" James whines.

Sirius and Remus look at each other and snicker.

Sirius just tousles James' hair.

"Alright, fine. But I will get a kiss from you before the week is out!"

"Alright, Prongs, whatever you say."

Remus goes red, from embarrassment and from trying to hold his laughter in.

At breakfast, Sirius and James probably do something stupid.

Remus tells Sirius, "you're lucky you're so damn adorable, or I might actually be mad."

James takes offense.

"What, I'm not cute enough for you?"

Remus is admitted to the hospital wing after a particularly bad moon.

Madam Pomfrey lets them stay, mostly because the combined forces of Sirius' desperation and James' annoyingness is enough to make her fear for her life.

Anyway.

Sirius steps out for a minute, because Remus is asleep anyway.

And while he's gone, Remus asks after him.

"S'r'us?"

He's still half asleep, and doesn't know Sirius left.

"S'r'us? Can you..." he trails off, but moves over to the far side of the bed.

Well. Sirius isn't there.

But James is.

He gets the message, and climbs into bed beside Remus.

They've never done this before, but hey, what a sleepy, injured, post-moon Remus wants, he gets.

So James wraps an arm around Remus and pulls him close.

(Honestly, get you a friend like James).

So then Sirius comes back.

And sees his best friend cuddling with his boyfriend.

He clears his throat.

"James, what the fuck?" he asks calmly.

"Oh, he asked for you, but you weren't here. I guess he wanted cuddles or something, so I figured I'd fill in for you. So here we are."

"James," Sirius deadpanned. "That's my boyfriend you're cuddling with."

James sat up so quickly Sirius was honestly impressed Remus didn't wake up.

"Boyfriend?!?"

"Boyfriend," Sirius confirms.

"How long??"

"Few months now."

"Wha– but I– you– what?!?!?!"

It's safe to say James is in shock.

"Why didn't you tell me??" he finally asks.

"Are you honestly blind?" Sirius asks.

"Have you not seen us flirting? Cuddling? Eye-fucking across the room?"

"I thought that was just something you did!!"

James is still in shock.

And totally oblivious.

"It is something we do. Because we're dating. We wake up in the same bed every morning."

"AS BROS DO."

James eventually calms down. Their argument conversation has now woken Remus up.

"James, what are you doing in my bed?"

"We've been over this already," Sirius said.

"By the way, he knows now."

"Oh good. How's he taking it?"

"Not sure," Sirius says. "James?"

"Huh? I mean... yeah. I'm happy for you, obviously. And it's fine that you're gay, or whatever. I don't care about that. But what the fuck??"

Alright then. That's how he's taking it.

James never did get that kiss.

[kirain]

Hazbin Hotel and VivziePop Drama

I've been hearing/seeing a lot of drama concerning Hazbin Hotel and it's creator VivziePop, and while I don't know her personally or really care what people think, I do hate slander and the spread of misinformation. Truly nothing in this world upsets me more than when people believe rumours while making no effort to fact check, and that's exactly what's happening right now. That said, I wanted to try and clear up some of the rumours going around about Vivzie and the show, because I think some of them are absolutely outrageous and need to be addressed.

1. Vivzie hired an abuser onto the show.

Now, I’m not here to burn anyone at the stake, especially since I don’t know anything about Chris Niosi (the alleged abuser), who I believe openly admitted to the allegations? Regardless, this is a moot point. He’s not credited anywhere at the end of the episode. So either he was booted before production wrapped up or he had nothing to do with the show in the first place.

2. Vivzie supports bestiality.

Admittedly I thought this one might be true, since she draws so many anthropomorphic animals. In the very least, I figured she was probably a furry, but I haven't seen any evidence supporting this accusation either. Near as I can tell, this rumour started for two reasons. One, because of her famous Zoophobia comic, which revolves around a therapist named Cameron who gets assigned to work with human-like animals. Ironically, poor Cameron suffers from crippling zoophobia, which makes for some pretty decent comedy. I didn't read the whole comic because, quite frankly, it’s not my cup of tea and I just don’t have the time. But from what I saw there are no examples of bestiality anywhere in its contents.

Two, this message, which blew up all over social media:

To me, this just proves that people are more interested in virtue signalling than checking to see if their claims are actually true. Everything about this message is 100% false, which I’ll touch on in my next point.

3. Vivzie is a pedophile and she’s drawn child porn.

This is hands down the worst allegation and holy shit, I really wish people would stop using it to defame someone when they don't have any proof. This is a life-ruining accusation and you're disgusting if you believe it based solely on hearsay. This rumour began to spread when Vivzie allegedly shipped the two underage characters in the above photo and drew them NSFW-style. At the time, one character was 19 while the other was 14, and the relationship was a very illegal student-teacher relationship.

This is WRONG! The characters were not 14 and 19, they were actually 18 and 19, the legal age of consent! Additionally, the relationship wasn't student-teacher. One character is a student and the other is Alumni (a student teacher). This one pisses me off the most because it’s obvious the person who sent that message didn’t even bother to conduct any research. They said, “He’s a teacher, she’s a child.” Both characters are MALE!

Since then, Vivzie has apologised for any NSFW art she drew in the past and stated that it's not a reflection of her art today, and I'm inclined to believe her. Almost every artist has drawn NSFW content at some point in their career, and hers wasn't even distasteful. Other than this one example, there is no evidence anywhere that suggests she’s drawn “child porn”. In fact, she’s never even drawn explicit NSFW.

Please stop spreading this rumour. It’s dangerous and completely incorrect.

4. Vivzie said the "N" word!

No, she didn’t. It was a fabricated tweet. That is all.

5. Vivzie is copyright striking every video that criticises her!

No she isn't. YouTube’s DMCA is automatically striking people who are using full clips without permission. Vivzie has gone public several times, telling people exactly how to avoid getting a copy strike from the algorithm, which is something she absolutely does not have to do. At this point, she doesn't owe you anything. In my opinion, she should just sit back and watch these channels burn.

6. Vivzie copies and traces other artists’ work.

This is another one I’ve seen going around, but I looked into it as thoroughly as I could and failed to find any concrete evidence to support the allegations. As of right now, there are only two examples of Vivzie “copying” or “tracing” other artists’ work, and both of them can be explained. The first is a gif she made with a character from her Zoophobia comic, which looked a lot like the girl from ME!ME!ME!:

Damn, that’s pretty incriminating. She obviously stole-- oh, wait. This gif was part of a ME!ME!ME! MEP (multi editor’s project) and Vivzie didn’t take full credit, despite the fact that it’s not even a direct trace. It’s supposed to look like the original, which she fully cited. The second example comes from a short dance sequence from her Timber video, which seems to have been inspired by several Disney movies. As Vivzie herself stated, that was an homage to the original animations. Lots of artists and shows do this, including the beloved Stephen Universe series.

Regardless, this doesn’t count as stealing character designs or plagiarising someone’s work. It’s meant to be respectful, an admiration of other projects. Other than these two instances, however, there is no evidence of her tracing or stealing other people’s art. From what I’ve discovered, all other designs she’s been accused of “stealing” are characters she bought and paid for. They’re quite literally HER characters.

7. Vivzie supports problematic creators.

I’m getting really tired of guilt by association. Vivzie follows and enjoys some controversial figures, but who cares? We can argue all day about whether or not the accusations against them are true, but it ultimately has nothing to do with the show or Vivzie as a person. I do the exact same thing, to be honest-- follow and listen to people on all sides so I can learn, understand, and form my own opinions. The fact that some people think this is bad, to me, is absolutely mesmerising. Vivzie doesn’t control what the people she follows post, and if they do something overly questionable she publicly criticises and denounces it.

From Vivzie:

Now that that’s been dealt with, I’d like to address some complaints/claims about the actual show.

8. Vaggie is an angry Latina stereotype and a lesbian stereotype. Vivzie is appropriating Hispanic culture and misrepresenting the gay for profit.

First off, I see a lot of people passing around yet more misinformation regarding Vivzie's race. So many people seem to think she's white? Well, I'm here to tell you they're wrong. Very incorrect. Vivzie is in fact Latina, and Vaggie is meant to mirror some of her own personality traits.

Second, who is Vaggie mad at? Context matters, and if we take a look at the episode, we see that Vaggie is literally only mad at two specific people: Angel Dust and Alastor. Why? Well, for starters, it's her girlfriend's dream to run a rehab hotel for sinners, and Angel Dust nearly demolishes that dream single-handedly. Vaggie has every right to be over-the-top vitriolic. Then there's Alastor, a known sadist, narcissist, and murderer who loves trapping people in his nefarious schemes. He invites himself in, effectively takes over the hotel, and pushes both her and Charlie aside. At one point he even sexually assaults her by slapping her butt during his musical number. So yeah, I think her seething ire is totally justified. Keep in mind, however, that when she's around Charlie she's calm, collected, and happy. I wouldn't call that a stereotype.

Thirdly, the lesbian stereotypes. I keep hearing this argument but I really don't see it. Both Vaggie and Charlie have so much personality and trust for each other. Maybe I'm wrong, but the stereotype I know always totes a more butch, tomboyish woman with a ditsy, innocent, naive woman. Charlie is optimistic, but she isn't stupid. She refuses to shake Alastor’s hand because she knows he’s likely trying to screw her over. She’s also not entirely innocent herself and uses words like “fuck” and “shit”. I also wouldn’t call Vaggie butch or tomboyish. She has a cute, girly presentation, complete with a pink ribbon in her hair, lace stockings, and a dress. She's protective of her girlfriend, as I think we all are with our partners, and there's nothing wrong with that. They're flawed characters, as every character is meant to be. This isn't a problem.

9. The show is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, blah, blah, blah.

I’m amazed this is even an argument. The show is supposed to be a dark comedy that takes place in HELL. You know, the place the worst of the worst end up after they die? What were you expecting? Everyone gets a shot or two fired at them, but that doesn't make them bad characters nor does it make the show itself horrible. Take, for example, Katie Killjoy, the news reporter so many people are up in arms about. She says she doesn’t “touch the gays” because she has “standards”. Well, here’s a newsflash of my own: we’re not supposed to like her! She’s an antagonist. Not to mention ten seconds later Charlie insults her and isn’t the least bit slighted by her pretentious attitude. The characters are strong and don’t take shit from anyone, because to some degree they’re all terrible people who can throw down when it’s called for.

Obviously if you don’t like the show or think it’s offensive, I’m probably not going to change your mind. That’s perfectly fine. You’re entitled to your opinions and you don’t have to watch the show. Just stop lying and stop trying to take it away from everybody else. Stop attacking Vivzie and spreading misinformation without checking the facts. I realise a lot of people probably aren’t trying to be vindictive and only want to do something good, but just remember this: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[uwuwriting]

Homesick recordings

This is the first part of my 1.5K celebration. I present to you the sequel to “Moments in the life of Y/N L/N”, the angstiest piece of trash I’ve ever written. Thank you 1.5 K guys it means a lot, thank you for being here and reading my crap writing and thank you for supporting my blog. Love ya 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

When Y/N learns that her little girl is gonna leave for high school she suggests she tries recording herself when she’s feeling homesick. Sky believes that she won’t need it but as time passes she realizes that she might need her mom more than expected. 

Monday, April 4th 20XX

“Okay so how do I do this exactly? *camera falls from its spot* Ah crap crap Jesus! Is it still working? Yep yep it is there’s my ugly face hehe. God why is my hair like that? Anyways um…. Hi, I guess? Do you say hi to a recording? This is weird to say the least. Today was the first day of school as you might have guessed and it was ….awkward. I got lost in that huge building twice and I ignored some kids by accident because they called me by my last name! I’m used to people referring to you when they say our last name ugh this is gonna take some time getting used to. The teacher is ....unique. He came into our classroom in a yellow sleeping bag and proceeded to worm around the room like a caterpillar. I don’t think he is the really giddy giddy fun teacher; he wrecked us during training. Gave us a freaking heart attack with a so called prank he pulled. *exasperated sigh* Who says that you’ll be expelled if you score last?? I don’t get it!! His name is Aizawa-sensei and I already believe he doesn’t like me. He stared at me for a solid five minutes with a frown on his face during training. If I’m being honest he was watching me the whole day which is kinda weird. I don’t know how to take that. Is he interested in my quirk or is he asking himself why they put me in his class? I can hear his voice saying ‘why do they keep sending me imbeciles?’. Well mister you can’t get rid of me now I got in and I’m staying! HA! *bang on the wall* YO SKY KID KEEP IT DOWN MAN! SORRY TOYOMI-SAN…..That was one of my roommates….She is a social worker I think. Oh I almost forgot, the apartment I found is nice. It deserves its price I mean. But you already know that since I called you once I got back from school…. See why this is stupid??? I’ll keep telling you things you already know because I have Alzheimer and I don’t remember what you know. *sigh* Oh well I guess you’ll have to endure this torture, you are my mother after all and I’m your precious only daughter so what can you do really? I finished my costume design. It turned out pretty cool, I like it. The jacket you suggested makes it ten times better. I look like a pilot. Well technically I am a pilot. I pilot clouds and now that you’re not here to scold me when I’m flying around I’ll take full advantage of it. You can’t stop me mother! Anyways, it’s getting late and I have school tomorrow so I’ll end this here. I don’t know when I’ll record next…. Most likely when I’m feeling home sick again. Haha it's the first day away from home and I’m already missing you and those two idiots. *soft snort* Goodnight mom, love you.” *recording ends*.

Wednesday, April 27th 20XX     

“Hello again, it’s me, your neighborhood cripple. *wince* You could say I’m a sight for sore eyes because I’m sore all over. You’ve seen the attack on the news. Of course you have, everyone’s shaming UA high for lack of security. Why you haven’t called me yet is a mystery, I guess you’re at work? And before you start throwing a tantrum about me not calling first and blah blah, I wanted to record this first, let you see the actual injuries before I minimize them when I call you. *stares off* Something weird happened during the attack. Apart from the fact that well we were attacked and our homeroom teacher was almost beaten into a pulp, the villains were ….. interesting. When they first appeared I was teleported by this minecraft portal looking ass to another part of the USJ and to be honest I kicked some serious ass. That *wince* that was not the weird thing. While I was fighting I saw Aizawa-sensei facing some type of giant ostrich? Although that that thing wasn’t an ostrich…. I don’t know what it was but mom it was terrifying. *visible shiver* It just grabbed him and mopped the floor with him and I just couldn’t sit there and do nothing. So I went to help or at least that was my goal. That person who teleported me at the beginning tried to do it again and I may have snapped a little bit. I got so angry when he moved me to the other side of the arena that for a moment I totally forgot about what was happening. While I was fighting him his quirk kinda connected with mine. It was strange. Every time I shot a cloud at him the mist that surrounded him kinda engulfed it. It wasn’t only happening to me. I could manipulate his mist. Not every time just like he couldn’t sabotage my clouds every time, but it still happened. I don’t know why it happened or how it happened and I have no idea what I’m gonna do about it.  Maybe it was part of his quirk but it didn’t happen to anyone else…..*wince* God I have a headache. *chuckle* You do realize you are never going to see these videos right? Seeing me like this would send you into a comma and then you would come back to haunt me and my classmates. Anyways, I’ll call you and then I’m going to sleep. Love ya mom.” *recording ends*

Tuesday, June 3rd 20XX

“*walking back and forth in her room* You know how I said that Bakugou is a really fun person to tease? Well that was before he exposed me to the whole class.*laugh* In reality I’m not really mad, it was a nice comeback and if I’m being honest it was hilarious but it was still a shocker. We were going back and forth with that tik tok challenge where you expose your friend’s flaws. So I was standing there pointing out his superiority complex when he dropped the bomb…… ‘It’s the daddy issues for me’......THIS KID. THE AUDACITY. I thought my daddy issues were kept on the down low!!! I’ve done nothing to trigger this comment!! Sure I may or may not have told Mina that you raised me alone and about that counselor incident but that doesn’t mean I have daddy issues. *grumble* You need to have a dad to have daddy issues. Ughh God I hate him sometimes so very much. Thankfully the summer camp is tomorrow. I’ll get to wipe the floor with him in volleyball. I’m gonna draw those anger issues out…. I need some air. *three hours later* I’m back… yay. It’s weird to think about it you know. What you must have gone through when he passed. I know you don’t really like talking about him or anything before I came along but I would love to know what he was like. I’m not gonna ask you in real life of course, I would never do that to you. I know it hurts. I just wanted to say it out loud…*barely audible sniffle* … Well this got sentimental real quick. I think I should go to bed. I love you mom, goodnight.” *recording ends*

Friday, March 14th 20XX

“Of all the things that could’ve happened, this one was the last one on my list. Actually it wasn’t even on the freaking list, dammit! *sniffle* You know things like this don’t happen to everyone. I must be a really lucky person. Tell me one other person who gets to meet their dead parent in a high surveillance prison?? And above that I got an explanation why he was like this. Amazing right? God this is so stupid! I hate it. I hate this situation, I hate that I can’t tell you about it, I hate keeping you in the dark because at the end of the day I’m not the one who was in love with him. He may be my dad but I don’t have a connection with him! I never met him! He wasn’t there when I started walking or talking, he wasn’t the one who dropped me off on the first day of school, he didn’t teach me how to ride a bike, he-he * sob* I shouldn’t-shouldn’t be upset over this. Aizawa-sensei and Present Mic should be the ones sobbing on their floor. Not me. He doesn’t - I don’t- ugh - I don’t mean anything to him in the end. He died 15 years ago. That’s it. He was in love with you, he knew you, I was nowhere to be found. If he could reach out to us more than just a few words he wouldn’t know who the hell I was. *sobs* I have a picture of you two you know….It’s the one I had found when I was five. When you told me that that was my dad I felt like I could form a connection with the person in that photo. So I kept it, you never went through your old photo albums anyway and you never looked for the missing photo. And I kept it with me. I tore a small pocket in my backpack and put the photo there. I thought that having both of you with me at all times would bring me luck. I liked the fact that I looked like him. Now I realize how painful that must have been for you, seeing him in me everyday….and Aizawa-sensei, god, having me in his class must have been torture. He didn’t know that I was his friend’s daughter of course but I looked enough like him to bring back memories. God this sucks…. *deep breathes* I-I have practice so I gotta go. Love you.” *recording ends*  

Thursday, March 20th 20XX

“Hi, it’s me again. I know that I’m recording almost a week after the previous one but… mom I have been assigned a mission and it’s major. It’ll be an attack at a hospital where we believe that experiments are being conducted. We got that information from um what do I call him? *shakes head* from a prisoner in Tartarus, the high surveillance prison I was at last week? Yeah that one. The mission will be really dangerous, that’s what we’ve been told and I can understand that. I mean we are attacking a major operation of AFO, of course it’ll be dangerous. Since we are students we are to stay away from the hospital and monitor the surrounding area but…. I asked Present Mic to go with them in the hospital. I can help keep things in place and I can move people in and out quicker than any of them, plus this is personal. I think Present Mic understands that. He said he’ll talk to Aizawa-sensei about it but regardless….. I’ll find who did that to him, I promise you that. I want to know if...if this was all some grand plan because what they did to him they did to dozens other people and as much as I hate them for taking my father away, I also hate them for what they’ve done to all those other families…… I’m recording this because I don’t know if I come back in one piece or if I come back at all. This is very dangerous and we don’t really know what to expect. What we are getting ourselves into. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for giving me everything that I needed in life. Thank you for being the best mom anyone could ever have. You raised me by pushing your own sadness and grief to the side and doing the best job you could. So thank you for being my mom and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I love you mom, so very much. Bye, bye mommy.” *recording ends.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13.10.20 lb

askjdshkfjdhkfkjdhfkj vansh being told the number of things that went wrong in the 24ish hours he wasn't in this house of horrors and his face is like THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES ALONE

lol, like i said in the firsttttttttt lb, vansh is taking this news realllllllll chill. he's not mad at riddhima at allllllllll for keeping all this from him. 

saasuji, chachi, and aryan adding some shuddh desi ghee in this aag. can't blame them. riddhima IS a colossal pain in the ass.

lmao one more bomb thrown on vansh, ki sejal bhi kidnap hui hai aur yahin kahin hai. yaaaaaar, i never thought i'd feel this bad for Ghar Ka Bada Beta after shivaay, but this man is truly having to deal with The Most.

accusation after accusation thrown left and right, and vansh is literally like

man, idk why kabir does any of this devious planning and effort. with allllllll this dumbfuckery, it's just a matter of time before the raisinghanias go extinct from SHEER STUPIDITY. he should just bide his time and let them wipe themselves out. should take like, 3 months, tops.

VANSH HAS A BOMB OF HIS OWNNNNNNNNN: “SEJAL MERE PAAS HAI.” WHUT??!!?!?!?

lmao the panic on allllllllllll these fools' faces hearing that vansh has sejal. dadi and siya are the only oblivious and unbothered ones here.

hahahahahaha vansh turns around and sees YET another fucker who's out to test him and is like MOTHERF....... AB TU KAUN HAI BEYYYYY

vansh playing march 24th waale modiji and is like NONE OF YOU FUCKERS LEAVING THE HOUSE FROM NOW ON. NO ONE. EVER.

dang this growly vansh aint the smiley simp from the last 2-3 eps. i'm intrigued.

he promises everyyyyyything's gonna come out in a bit. yissssssssssssssss *grabs my popcorn from the rasoda*

vanshhhhhhhh OUT!

my queschun is ki does mishra know he's fully being made to shady shit by kabir or not!?!?!??!?

mishra not picking phone. he dedddddddddddd, lol. #RIPMishra

KABIR WTF DON'T BE PULLING THE DUDE'S WIFE AROUND LIKE THIS. OH GOD THEY'RE FULLY GONNA GET MURDERED TODAY. 

ainvayi ka nakli fikar and some chugli against vansh.

REJECTED. honestly, she's really asking to be murdered, lol. sis, you can't be playing both parties like this.

lol kabir is meeeeeeee, so sick and tired of heterosexual ppl in love.

blah blah blah find out what he knows.

lmao everyoneeeeeeeeee is panickkkkkk.

WHY DOES HE KEEP TAKING HIS BLOODY MASK OFFFFFFFF

AND DESTROYING PROPERTY AND MAKING NOISE TO DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THE ROOM. KABIR, SATYAAANAAASH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SMART ONE HERE.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.

lolololololololololllllllll mummy ki haalat kharaab.

kabir using his half brain cell and not panicking out of control. good.

god bless this vapid praani. idhar sab ki hawa tight hai aur isko apni hairstyle ki padi hai. he's like an evil rudra from IB.

chachi is relatably stress-eating carbs. my most potent coping mechanism.

aryan is like, chillllllll this is mauke pe chauka type situation. 

ASDLFKDSLKFJDLSKFJDLSJFLDSKJFL VANSH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HE LAMINATED IT AND EVERYTHING HAHAHAHAHHAHA GODDDDDDD I LOVE HIS PETTY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

chalo inn madam ki baari ab, phat ke haath mein aane ki.

helllllllllllllllo, sir. immediate aankhon ko thandak now that he changed out of that red suit.

damn, my aankhein not the only thing thandiiiiiii in this room. temp just dropped to -20 with how chilly he's being to her.

SIS HAS WIPED HER SWEATY UPPER LIP SO MANY TIMES KI FREEFUND KI MOOCHON KI WAXING HO GAYI HAI FRICTION SE. BEHEN POWDER THAT SHIT AND STOP TOUCHING IT; YOU'RE GIVING THE WHOLE GAME AWAY. JESUS. ISKO SPY BANAAKE BHEJA HAI?!?!?! ISKO?????? 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

lol does he look like he gives a rat’s ass about sejal and your ramkathaa??????

DUDE STOP RAMBLING. JESUS. YOU'RE SOFA KING BAD AT THIS.

speaking of bad sofas, wth is up with the RIDICULOUSLY high backed chairs in this house, they look fucking insane.

vansh willing her to STFU with his eyes is honestly me.

“maine apni pasand badal li, riddhima.” yiiiiiiiiikes. he's not just talking about cologne, is he???

but also, you deserve much better than this twit, so good for you, my man. you deserve to be with someone who at least has six (6) brain cells.

dhat tere ki. he still seems into her. bloody heterosexuality. hum sabko le doobegi.

“itni nervous kyun ho tum aaj?”

NERVOUSNESS JAAYE BHAAD MEIN; I WOULD FUCKING NEVER LET ANYONE TOUCH MY FACE WITH THEIR BLOODY HANDKERCHIEF EXCUSE ME SIR THIS SKIN TAKES A LOT OF MAINTENANCE I CANNOT HAVE YOU DABBING AT IT WITH YOUR FILTHY POCKET CLOTH AND RISKING BREAKOUTS I MUST INSIST YOU REASSURE AND COMFORT ME FROM 2 FEET AWAY THANK YOU

riddhima trying valiantly to bluff her way through this conversation but vansh is like me on online shopping sites after filling my cart full of stuff: NOT BUYING IT.

literally me any time someone touches my face. internally screaming and thinking about how i’ll have to go dab tea tree oil all over to preemptively stop a breakout.

uhhhhhhhhhhh, she didn't say anything about wanting to know what sejal said to you????? mind-reading is very rude and an invasion of privacy, vansh!!!!!

4 pm, kab bajenge bloody 4, out with it alreadyyyyyyyyy.

lol that tinnnnnnnnny smirk of his as he leaves.

no but forreal, imagine living with this dramaticass man who promises big shows at a given time, like honestly i would be so fucking annoyed. at least shivaay never planned his big living room all-family conferences and made ppl WAITTTTTTTTT for it.

mummy is like kabir plsssssssssssss gtfo.

riddhima is useless as ever and has no info. big surprise.

AEDKLSJFLDSKJLFSKJFLKSDJL HE SNUCK UP ON HER

mummy always been knowing that riddhima is a fucking nikammi.

ok notttttttttt cooool my man. phone is private shit. 

off kardiya shaaaani ne.

lol kiskoooooooo pappu bana rahi ho behen, this man knows everyyyyyyyyything.

was that HIS phone he just picked up and left? usmein recording kar raha tha toh??????

honestly can you even blame vansh for being such a shakki shakeel, his house is filllllllllled with fucking snakes.

THIS FOOL JUST BE WALKING AROUND USING ALL THE MAIN DOORS AND SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MANNNNNNNNN

asjdkasjdkajshkdsj and the prize for most valiant effort at hide and seek goes to.................

peripheral vision naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai, bhai. use karle.  

4 BAJ GAYE LEKIN PARTY ABHI BAAKI HAI, ABHI TOH PARTY SHURU HUI HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 🥳🥳🥳

hahahahahhahahaha what the fuck his ass actually has a fulllllllllblown sirens blowing at 4 pm. like not a small tinkly alarm too, this is like those sirens they have blaring at big factories and shit.

riddhima dressed in that promo waali sari where nothing good happens so............ good luck sis.

(but also this is the sari anika wore when they fucked in laal ishq so maybeeeeeeeeee good times are incoming???)

HE ACTUALLY TURNED AROUND AND TOOK HIS PLACE, FOR MAXIMUMMMMMMM EFFECT. THIS MAN AND HIS FLAIR FOR THE DRAMATIC. I LOVE IT.

“yeh sab kya ho raha hai vansh??”

“chaar baj gaye, dadi.”

yes. totally a satisfactory explanation for this shit. thanks vansh. but you COULD have mentioned in your notes ki 4 baje ko jo hona tha, was a scheduled fire drill.

ANY HIGH TENSION SITUATION MAKES ME WANNA PEE REAL BAD, AND GIRLS, MY BLADDER IS REAL HURTY RN.

also lord, this one’s base makeup is too yellow toned too. just look at the contrast between his face and his ear.

askdlajlkdjlasjdlasjlkj he sat right on THAT table.

“toh bataao mujhe: kya hua, kyun hua, aur kaise hua.”

.............. like.... who are you talking to? and what exactly are you referring to? you want me to like start from the big bang and the creation of the universe and evolution and all that jazz, ya like, from this morning when i woke up?

(it’s stupid shit like this i would ask that would get me fully murdered in a sitch like this. damn my smartassery, it’s gonna get me killed.)

lol aryan is up first. we love to see it. OUT WITH IT, YOU WEASELLY LITTLE SHIT.

noooooooooooooo, he didn't even let him properly stew and sweat over it. ouff vansh, kuch toh dramatic pause dete.

“afwaa phaili hai ki meri nazar baaz se tez hai..........”

why all the guys on colors these days gotta be baaz and cheel and god knows what else?!?!!?

OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL HE DID USE HIS PERIPHERAL VISION AFTER ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOOOOOOD JOBBBBBBBBB VANSHHHHHHHHHHH

KABIR TU TOH GAYAAAAAAAAAA #RIPKABIR

akjsadkjhskjdhkjskask ngl i am fucking thrilled by this development

riddhima and mummy having simultaneous heart attacks though. lol idc, die bitches.

lmao kabir looking reallllllllllll ulta-chor-kotwaal-ko-daante for someone who got caught hiding inside a table.

DANG, I ACTUALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT EP????????? SHIT. THIS STUPID SHOW HOOKED ME IN SOOOOOOOOO EASY. 😫😫😫

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Fated to Love You here reaffirming my long held conviction that no pure romance drama should be 20+ episodes.

This show is... really something. It is, in the fullest possible sense, A Lot. It starts out as an all-out screwball comedy wrapped around a troperiffic romance fluff plot. Wall to wall clichés, but not in a bad way; in a meta, self-aware, peak performance, finest Velveeta way. And if you’re not familiar with screwball comedy, think ‘light-hearted crack fic with slapstick and farce’. There is nothing believable or grounded about any aspect of it, it starts at Bonkers Level: Platinum and it only climbs higher as it goes on.

(On a side note, this results in the leading man being possibly the most memorable love interest in romcom history. His introduction scene is nothing short of batshit insane and you can't reliably predict how he will respond to anything. I have never seen a main character like this, he is all over the shop and utterly singular. Your first reaction to him is ‘wtf?’, your second and third reactions are ‘really?! this guy??’, your fourth reaction is ‘okay he do be mad hot tho’, your fifth and final reaction is ‘I cannot believe this performance exists, I have no idea what he is doing, but it is amazing.’

Appropriately(?) the actor who plays him is an uncanny Korean doppelgänger of Johnny Depp and- between the resemblance, the mannerisms, and the fearless total commitment to a bold as fuck acting choice with the very serious chops to back it up- I’m not convinced they aren’t half brothers separated at birth.

They do sabotage my happiness several times by starting to randomly style his (long, beautiful) hair very weird, fixing it right when the plot is rapidly circling the drain so he looks his hottest just as the show becomes briefly unwatchable, and then ruining him for the entire second half of the series by shearing it all off. WHY, my anguished cry goes up. Why do you do this?! Why does he have like seven hairstyles over the course of the show? Much later they even briefly give him that ubiquitous Kdrama Second Lead haircut with weirdly forward combed fringe in a solid straight line across the brow all the way back from the crown. It looks terrible on everyone and I hate it so much. This version was less bad than most but it is still bad. Anyway.)

So it’s an incredibly fun time to start but there are some problems with the tone and plot even in the first 9 episodes, including when the lovers start getting along really well right away and they’re both thoroughly decent people so there’s nothing keeping them from having a lovely time together making the best of the circumstances (forced/fake marriage). And, instead of introducing new conflict or advancing one of the dozen conflicts previously established and actually moving forward, there is a painfully contrived rehash of something they already dealt with which is then just never resolved. They make the hero leap to a conclusion his wife is nefarious after he’d already decided once that she isn’t (though it was completely reasonable for him to think she was- the fact that he decided to trust her so quickly just speaks to what kind of person he is), never try to find out more or talk to anyone about it, start pushing her away because of it, and have all this come to absolutely nothing. It only exists so he’ll stop being so incredibly nice to her and they won’t fall in love too fast.

You’d think they would have to eventually clear the air before the romance advances right? No. It wasn’t a real plot point, it was just a reset button to get them estranged and hostile again after they connect over their kindred spirits and we’ve spent a bunch of time showing how profoundly supportive and honourable our hero is. He’s being beautifully mature and selfless because he’s a really good dude (unusual for a romcom drama, right? for the main guy to be nice and considerate? to accept responsibility even if he doesn’t have to? Gun’s weird but he’s wonderful), but the writers need him to be cold and standoffish, so they just make him act like an unreasonable idiot for a while. He’s been thus far hugely proactive and direct and honest about everything, it’s one of his most prominent character traits, but suddenly he’s going to avoid confrontation in favour of being super passive aggressive?? Then the writers never solve it. Never! It just goes away. He got over it, I guess? He decided he doesn’t care if she’s a gold digger who deliberately trapped him? God forbid we have motivations that make sense and organic character drama, right? It's not like he didn't have totally valid reasons to be suspicious that could have led to legitimate conflict our heroine would struggle to vindicate herself from.

But anyway, apart from that kind of lazy bullshit, it’s a fine romance plot with extremely endearing characters who have great chemistry. They are fun and well-rounded and incredibly human despite all the silliness and OTT antics. Their relationship is hugely, hugely engaging and the dynamic is perfect, they really complement each other as characters and organically drive each other's arcs. There's the genuine depth and warmth and quiet pathos so often lacking from this kind of show. Things progress at a semi-reasonable pace. They work up to confessing their mutual feelings and get into some cute shenanigans before making out. It happens soon enough that you are not frustrated, but there's still plenty of build-up. Then- uh oh! We’re only 9 eps in and we have another 11 hours to fill with this fluffy plot!

Time for a bunch of absolute fucking nonsense. Time for our show, which has been so goofy and removed from reality it occasionally resembles a Monty Python skit, which has been so light it asks you to ignore the frankly incredibly fucked up implications of its premise for the sake of comedy (they were both drugged and proxy raped resulting in a pregnancy- the FL was a virgin prior to this and Gun had a girlfriend he wanted to propose to- and it was the FL’s family who did this to them: SUPER FUCKED UP), so farcical that it makes Some Like it Hot look like a gritty crime drama, that show to cover a bunch of serious heavy shit.

First, the rankest of melodrama. The families and the world all turn on our couple, but their love is true and will conquer all- UNTIL, he randomly collapses and gets convenient Soap Opera Amnesia. He’s forgotten their entire relationship and a series of coincidental pieces of misconstrued evidence, the machinations of his scheming ex girlfriend, the Soap Opera Doctor’s advice, and his closest confidants all going along with this conspire to make him believe (AGAIN) that his wife just wants his money.

This whole terrible episode is mercifully brief, but it just gets worse after his memory returns. This is where we get into the Noble Idiocy. The ‘pretend you don’t love them to “save them” from getting hurt by hurting them and making their important life decisions for them as if they don’t have a basic fucking right to decide that themselves’ kind. Which goes on for three FUCK years in the show. He wastes three years of their lives they could have spent together because he’s worried he might die young (in a terrible way) and doesn’t want to put her through that. And, of course, they inevitably get together later, so all he did was make it infinitely worse for her either way. To say nothing of how he thus couldn’t be there for her through the loss of their child. Possibly my most hated fucking trope of all time when done this way.

And, yep, you read that right. This show that has the single most batshit bonkers over the top slapstick I have ever seen in a kdrama, this show has a storyline where the fluffy romcom trope accidental pregnancy ends in massive trauma. Because she was standing around in the street after realising he does remember her (he continued to pretend he had amnesia after his memories came back, it’s all part of the stupid noble idiocy so I glossed over it) and gets hit by a car in the middle of their angst staring.

It is nearly Meet Joe Black levels of hilariously abrupt and incongruous.

so, blah blah, they lose their baby (there’s a very stupid whole thing about her telling everyone to save the baby instead of her- the baby is not far enough along for this to have been remotely viable. She is like 3 months pregnant. They all act like there’s a choice to be made between them and she’s mad at her husband for choosing to save her, but there was NO CHOICE. Either she lives or they both die! ffs I’m so irritated about this) and then he dumps her ~for her own good~~ because he loves her too much to make her go through losing him? So she loses him sooner?? right after their baby died???

Why do people in these stories always think being betrayed and abandoned for no reason and being incredibly angry at someone you love while also not getting to be with them is somehow less painful than making the best of your life together and then losing them against their will? ‘I will make her hate me and then she won’t be sad we broke up/I died!!!!’ is such a fucking galaxy brain take and I despise it with the heat of ten thousand suns. Fuck you, Spider-Man. You aren’t protecting anyone, the villains still know you love MJ and will still use her against you, you clod. Emotionally torturing the person you love is not going to make them not a target because the villains are not as fucking stupid as you two. Anyway.

Amnesia was right where I started fast-forwarding and skipping around (because I couldn’t bear it), but it only goes downhill from there. Maybe I would have toughed out more of the wretched middle part plot twist if they hadn’t cut all the hot guy’s hair off. If I’m going to watch total nonsense tedious melodrama, I need it to at least be pretty. I understand it was a Symbolic Haircut but damnit! Let me have this!

And it ultimately does the thing that kdramas seem obsessed with and which makes me want to claw out my own eyeballs with frustration. There’s a giant time skip, the female lead gets a personality transplant, all narrative momentum is lost, and the characters who eventually (at ENORMOUS length) get together permanently are essentially completely different characters with a completely different dynamic than the couple you were shipping for 90% of the story. It is so FUCKING unsatisfying and it is EVERYWHERE.

Not so much with this one because this one still had a lot of very romantic scenes late in the game, but most that do this, it’s also like all the romance is sucked out of the post-time skip episodes and the ending is a consolation prize instead of a triumphant culmination. Inevitably, the heroine abruptly cools off and is suddenly wary of the hero and wants this Important New Career she never mentioned until the penultimate episode but is now her one true life’s dream. What the apparently irresistible appeal is of these contrived separations and demure conclusions is I CANNOT FATHOM. I’m here for the fucking romance guys, you have not made Citizen Kane, please just indulge me with a big schmoopy finale.

And if not that, it’s frequently that there’s been so many random mood swings and so much shitty behaviour by the end that the relationship doesn’t make sense and you don’t know why they even bother to get back together.

I’m not inherently against all misunderstandings (they are the bread and butter of low stakes romance let’s be real) or attempts at noble idiocy from misguided characters, but the duration and seriousness of the drama these generate needs to be in proportion to how ridiculous they are. If your entire plot can be solved by a thirty second conversation there is NO REASON not to have and the continuation of the misunderstanding is a result of someone just NOT SPEAKING UP when any functional human being would have spoken up seven times by now IT’S BAD.

Do little cliff-hangers, whatever, but don’t draaaaagg out silly misconceptions into Shakespearean tragedy, it’s just wearying. It makes me hate the characters for acting like emotionally constipated toddlers with terminal stupidity. If there is so little trust, so little understanding, and so little basic patience between these people, they probably shouldn’t be dating, so try fucking harder, writers. And noble idiocy that is more than an impulse they fairly quickly see the error of is just insulting. You are not helping the other person, you are being domineering and selfish. I have a whole complex about wasting time and seeing endless parades of characters flushing years down the toilet for literally no reason gives me hives. Especially when the whole issue is about time!

(And, btw, so much of the plot is about how desperately the family needs an heir and everyone still wanting them to have kids the second time they get together- while the ~dilemma used to keep them apart is a GENETIC DISEASE which could STRIKE AT ANY TIME. Do you SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS WRITERS????? NO, I KNOW YOU DON’T. ommmmmmmmggggg that’s awful! So they’re just dooming more kids to Soap Opera Brain Disease? And maybe growing up without a father just as Gun did? And no one even considers suggesting adoption??? He never considers that he shouldn’t have biological children despite thinking he shouldn’t have a wife?)

ANYWAY. Please do watch the first nine episodes and the last three, it’s bananas. They are cute as fuck, Gun is The Best, and the tropey romance scenes are top quality. You don't get those things executed so well, it doesn't happen, so you need this in your life. The acting is of a calibre you never usually see in modern romcoms; these are people at the top of their game committing utterly and taking these characters completely seriously. In that way it is pure wish fulfilment for me as someone who loves romance and is almost always disappointed by popular romance media, and thus the show is incalculably special. But skip the middle. Just skip it. It's not worth the suffering. I find the tone whiplash honestly just this side of crass.

I’ve been thinking about it for over a week and I truly love the main characters so it did plenty right, but I just cannot with wedding the two things this show is trying to be together, especially when it goes so hard in two mutually exclusive directions. but also the Meet Joe Black sudden car accident device is not redeemable under any circumstances. Can we never do that again, please.

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[theworldsoul]

Okay so basically... lets talk.

I should've seen this coming. I should've known that after such a long period of happiness, something would give.

I went to pick up my glasses from the dinner table today, because that's where I left them. When I put them on... they wouldnt stay on. I checked and they were missing the two plastic parts that hold the glasses up and still on my nose.

I check the table for them, and I dont find them. Then I ask, like hey, did any of yall touch my glasses? Both the plastic things are missing. My dad IMMEDIATELY assumes that I took them off ON PURPOSE. For some reason. And I tell him no, i didnt touch them, all I remember is picking them up from the table and seeing the plastic bits missing.

Then I spend like an hour telling them no, I didnt break my own glasses, I FOUND them that way. And my dad is like mocking me, going "u always say 'I didnt do it!!!' Like you never do anything huh? I guess you're just perfect." And I'm like... BUT I ACTUALY DIDNT DO IT!!!!???!? and hes like "you never take responsibility for anything, blah blah, you're so fucking stupid, you act like a four year old, stop fucking crying, how dare you ask us if we know what happened, why are you trying to blame us, you obviously did it on purpose and now you're acting all surprised.." and I'm just sitting there. Taking it. Thinking to myself... wow. They automatically assumed the worst in me. And THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS OFTEN!!! I get blamed for shit I didnt do all the fuckign time.

So I'm just. Crying. Because theres a certain amount of verbal abuse i can take and it's not very much. I'm being interrogated. And its distressing, because I cant PROVE that I didnt do it on.purpose, because i GENUINELY DONT REMEBER WHAT HAPPENED!!! so they just get to assume that i broke my own glasses.

Why would my dad jump to that conclusion so quickly? Simple answer: he literally hates me. He holds back, I know, but hes done this before and he'll do it again, hes shown and said what he REALLY THINKS and he'll say it again and do it again and again and again because his mask is slipping. I dont know what I did to make him hate me but he does. That's just how it is. I can't change that. Man, my parents behave like children.

Anwyays so I'm just very upset, in distress, crying really hard, trying not to say too much so I dont make them angrier but also always telling the truth, which is that I DIDN'T DO IT AND I DONT REMEBER ANYTHING HAPPENEING TO THE GLASSES!!

He asks me, who did it then? I say I dont know but it wasnt me. He said who then, if not you. I said I dont know. He didnt believe me!!!

I hate when I tell the truth and people dont believe it. Like... this is the truth. I have nothing more to offer you. Take what little I give, cos it's my fucking blood.

Anyways in the meantime my mom is checking, looking for the plastic bits. She finds them in my coat pocket.

I am proven innocent. At what cost? Well, now I'm shaking, curled up into a ball, crying, and in actual pain. My brain cant handle so much pain so it transfers it to physical pain. So there I am. A fucking kid. Who's been punished for somehting he didn't do. And theres the proof.

My dad fixed the glasses. Left me there on the couch, still trembling. Gave them to me in a case. Said I gotta be careful. I said thank you. Because, even if I'm upset, I gotta make sure other people dont get upset. He said sorry, but he said it in this huffy way that made it sound reluctant. Then he was like, I said sorry so stop crying.

He wanted a kiss on the cheek and I was gonna give him one because I dont want to seem like a dickhead, he DID apologize... and if you dont accept my dads apologies and move on and pretend that the word "sorry" fixes everything, he gets even more angry and i REALLY dont want to deal with him guilt ripping me over it. So I lean in for a little kiss and... I cant. I cant do it. My face crinkles up all ugly and I start crying hysterically every time I get close. I try a few times but I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of like... oh god. I felt so hurt. Like a scared little rabbit. Oh shit, I was fucking scared. I couldnt do it. It made me feel disgusted.

I said, later I'll do it.

I dont know why he thinks he can hurt me so bad and make me cry, then give some shitty apology and expect me to change my mood entirely and go back to being all happy. That's not how it works. If you hurt someone, they stay hurt. Your shitty little word, "sorry", doesnt make me feel any better and doesnt fix any of the damage.... but I have to pretend like it does because if I dont you get mad, and you say I'm mean for not accepting the apology,,,

Later on, he did come for a kiss again. I was in my room, pretending to be busy so he would ignore me but he didnt. This time, I didnt kiss him but I allowed him to kiss me. I just... I couldnt kiss him. I was holding back tears, and i knew if i tried to kiss him i would start crying all over again and make him upset or angry. So I just sorta... let him kiss me on my forehead. Then I went to the bathroom fast as I could, acting like I had to brush my teeth.

I locked the door, sank to my knees, and cried. Hard.

I just wish that I had a dad who loved me, or who knew how to love me... or who I knew loved me, a dad who knew what he was doing, so I didnt have to debate if he loved me or not in my head.

God. I feel so small. Like I literally feel like a little kid right now. Fucking hell. Looks like tonight I'll be indulging in my delusions, playing pretend.

It's sad that my parents fuck me up, but its sadder that afterwards I dont have anyone to comfort me and help heal me.... only myself and whoever I bring to life in my imagination.

Sometimes when I get overly upset, when I'm pushed to the edge like this, I begin to feel... a lot younger? Like shockingly younger. I'm not even the same dude anymore, I'm a fucking five year old all of a sudden. Which makes the situation even more scary and painful.

Just imagine like, a hurt scared little kid with no one to help him. He's tryna pick himself off the ground and hes telling himself "shhhhh... it'll be okay" that's me. That's literally me and it makes me feel so fucking BAD but its true.

I've been breaking down. Earlier in the day I had trouble on a quiz because I didn't know the definition of a word in a poem and I couldnt answer the question (does character A like character B?) And when I asked they said they couldnt tell me which was bullshit but whatever. Uhm so I got upset. Like, scarily upset. I gave up, wrote that i didnt want to do the question on the paper, guessed at half the answers, crumpled it up and threw it to the ground. Then I just... spaced out for the rest of class because I was STILL upset and fuck them.

At one point I left to go cry in the bathroom, but when i went in there, all the stalls were taken and there was a huge group of guys in there, like maybe ten people in there total, so I ran back out and was like fuck now what. Now I wait. I waited and nobody came out. I double checked and they were sitll there and I ran out again. I dashed to another bathroom down the hall hoping it was empty. I was blasting metal in my ears to try and drown out the FEELINGS, I hate feeling things. Got into a stall, slammed the door, started CRYING, sobbing, talking to myself, all of this with metal music blaring out of my headphones. I composed myself. When I went out of the stall I checked my eyeliner and it was... well, you could TELL I cried. I didnt bother with it tho, i just ran out of there.

Ugh and when I got back I kept doing the stim that usually evolves into literally hitting myself, so that was. Bad. At least this time I refrained from beating the shit outta my own left arm.

God.. I hope everyone who hurts me, everyone who ever fucking hurt me, feels GUILTY as all hell. I hope whatever being made me FEEL all these emotions so hard so strong so fast, ROTS. because nobody deserves to feel so intensely upset that they resort to the worst ways of coping. No one.

I'm just glad I didnt relapse. That's a positive.

[caligobeltrao]

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol. 

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching. 

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction. 

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual. 

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts. 

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in. 

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool. 

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman. 

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil. 

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot. 

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show. 

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole. 

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them. 

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book. 

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney. 

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him. 

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around. 

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard. 

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional. 

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted. 

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice. 

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network. 

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words. 

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus. 

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel. 

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris. 

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me. 

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!! 

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal. 

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose. 

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really. 

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really. 

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots. 

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross. 

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have. 

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here. 

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know. 

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire. 

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion. 

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!! 

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know. 

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her. 

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window. 

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing. 

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel. 

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble. 

[thearvariblues]

The Bard And The Wolf - Chapter Seven

(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)

AKA me desperately trying to catch up my Tumblr with what’s already been posted to AO3. ;)

The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE.

7 – You Stop This, Jaskier

All eyes turned to the door when Jaskier entered the rehearsal room, a big paper cup of coffee in one hand, a paper bag in the other.

“Fifteen minutes late with Starbucks,” Renfri smirked.

“I have two things to say to that, dear heart,” Jaskier said, taking a sip of his coffee. “First, I’m merely three minutes late. And second, I would never ever in my life set foot in a place as wretched as Starbucks, so don’t ever accuse me of something so horrible again!”

“Did you stop for a coffee or not, Jask?” Geralt chuckled.

“No. I stopped for something to eat. The coffee was an afterthought.”

He placed the cup on a little table next to the couch, sat down right next to Geralt and reached into the paper bag, pulling out a big sandwich which he immediately took a big bite of.

“Wow. Your night must have been really taxing,” Lambert laughed.

“Is Ciri around?” Jaskier mumbled.

“She’s walking Roach,” Geralt said.

“Good. In that case, my dears, I can tell you that my night was exquisite. I spent most of it in the middle of a very lovely, well… sandwich. Our fans really do get enthusiastic after a good show!” he grinned, but then he frowned. “Wait, who’s Roach?”

“What do you mean, who’s…” Renfri blinked. “Oh, of course, you haven’t met her yet. Roach is Geralt’s dog. Technically, she’s Roach number two.”

“Oh,” Jaskier said. “Right.”

“She’s a husky,” Eskel added.

“Of course she is. And… She’s coming here with Ciri?” he beamed.

“Yeah. In a few minutes,” Geralt nodded. “But don’t touch Roach. She doesn’t trust strangers. I adopted her a few months ago when Roach number one died. She wasn’t even one year old, but her life must have been really shitty before, so…”

“Poor little thing.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely not like Roach number one,” Renfri sighed. “That was such a sweet girl. This one is like a tornado.”

“But of course Geralt still adores her,” Eskel said.

“Yes. I seem to have a thing for totally unpredictable and crazy individuals,” Geralt smirked. “Jesus, Jask, are you seriously going to wolf down the whole thing? This must be the biggest sandwich mankind has ever seen. How does it even fit in your mouth?”

“Lots of practice.”

“Eating sandwiches?” Lambert said, cocking his eyebrow. “Or stuffing large things into your mouth?”

“The latter,” Jaskier grinned. “And stop giving me that look, Geralt. I’m hungry and I refuse to look like a starving bag of muscle like some of us do.”

“Some of us, Jaskier?” Geralt asked.

“Come on, I saw you getting dressed before the gig yesterday. I mean, yeah, big muscles, ripped body, it’s meant to be sexy, but it only means you should definitely eat more. A little layer of some nice, protective fat would do you good.”

“Don’t waste your breath,” Renfri muttered. “He keeps his body like that because Yennefer liked it.”

“I keep my body like that because I like it,” Geralt growled.

“Well, don’t mind me then,” Jaskier shrugged, getting another bite of his sandwich. “I just tend to like men who are strong and a little bit soft at the same time. Like Eskel here. But that’s just my problem. If you want to look like this, go on. Hey. Hey! That’s my sandwich!”

“You said I should eat more, didn’t you?” Geralt smirked, effortlessly wrestling Jaskier’s snack out of his hands.

“Yes, but I didn’t mean my sandwich, you ass!”

“Too bad,” Geralt said, biting into it. “Oh, this is delicious!”

“So glad you like it,” Jaskier muttered. “I’m hungry over here, you know?”

“Shut it. You already have that layer of nice, protective fat,” Geralt mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah. Didn’t use to, you know?” Jaskier sighed, grabbing his coffee. At least something to soothe his hunger. “I used to be really thin. Always hungry. Because Valdo always used to tell me Oh, Julian, look, those tight pants would look so nice on you, too bad you’re not a size smaller. Oh, Julian, sweetie, look a this guy’s thighs, they don��t even touch each other, isn’t that beautiful? Julian, is that a tiramisu? Yeah, it’s a fucking tiramisu, you ass, and I’ll have as much as I want. Ugh. Can’t believe I wasted two years of my life with that bitch.”

A complete silence fell in the rehearsal room and Jaskier suddenly saw everyone was staring at him with mouths agape.

“I’m sorry,” Lambert finally said, after a few long moments. “Did you say Valdo?”

“Mhmf,” Jaskier muttered, trying to hide his face behind his coffee cup.

“As in Valdo Marx?” Eskel specified.

“Might have,”Jaskier peeped.

“Are you telling us that you dated fucking Valdo Marx for two years?!” Renfri yelled. “And you starved yourself for him?!”

“We broke up three years ago!” Jaskier said, throwing his arms open and nearly knocking the sandwich out of Geralt’s hand. “I was an idiot, okay? I thought I was glad to have found him, thought no one would be ever able to love the real me, blah blah blah. Took me way too long to realize I was being a total idiot and break up with him. He’s hated me ever since and my mother’s yet to speak to me again.”

“Your mother?” Eskel frowned.

“She thought Valdo and I would get married, adopt a kid and I would become a perfect housewife for him,” Jaskier sighed.

“Wow. She doesn’t know you at all, does she?” Renfri chuckled.

“Not in the slightest, honey.”

Lambert shook his head.

“Honestly, I’m still trying to process that someone like you would spend two years fucking that insufferable prick. Valdo Marx. Fuck.”

“Could we maybe stop discussing Valdo fucking Marx?” Geralt grunted. “Has anyone read the reactions to the gig yet? Because I haven’t.”

“Yes. Thank you, my lovely white wolf. Absolutely. Let’s focus on the reviews, because I kind of haven’t had the time yet to...”

The door swung open and a large husky came barging in, heading straight for the couch.

“Roach! Stop!” Ciri yelled behind the dog.

Roach stopped in front of Geralt, sniffed at his sandwich, and then turned her head to Jaskier.

The bard, remembering that the dog didn’t like strangers, avoided her eyes and merely offered her his hand. The next thing he knew, he had a massive dog in his lap and a wet nose was enthusiastically sniffing at his face.

He yelped when a broad tongue licked his nose.

“What was it you said about her not liking strangers?”

“I’ve never seen her do anything like this before, I swear!” Geralt chuckled, taking a coffee cup from Jaskier’s hand so it wouldn’t spill. “Roach, get down. Bad girl.”

The dog gave a tiny, desperate whine.

“I said get down,” Geralt repeated.

Roach turned her body to Geralt, eyed his sandwich and whined again.

“What did we say about begging for food?”

She lowered her head and looked pleadingly at her owner.

“Oh, I love her already,” Jaskier laughed. “Will love her even more when she stops crushing my crotch. Hi, Ciri, by the way.”

“Hi, Jaskier,” the girl replied. “Sorry, dad. I didn’t think she would do that. Where did you get the sandwich?”

“Stole it. Shamelessly!” Jaskier huffed. “Geralt, your dog is heavy as hell, you know it?”

“Roach. Get. The fuck. Down.”

Another whine.

“Oh, dear,” Jaskier chuckled. “Well, can someone at least read me those reviews and make me happy before I die?”

“Don’t you have your own phone?” Geralt asked.

“I do. In my pocket. Underneath your dog.”

“Right. Ciri?”

The girl already had the phone in her hand.

“On it.”

“Good,” Jaskier muttered. “And give me back my coffee, Geralt, because if you decide to steal that too, my chances of survival will grow even lower than they are now!”

“You really are such a drama queen, Jask…

*

“The Bard and the Wolf? What the hell is that?” Geralt frowned after the third (very positive) fan review of their gig. He had already finished Jaskier’s sandwich, and even managed to get Roach down from Jaskier’s lap. That seemed to be a mistake, as the dog clearly decided to hate him for that – judging by the fact that she was currently sitting on the floor by Jaskier’s leg and tapping his hand with her paw every time he had the audacity to stop petting her. She was completely ignoring Geralt’s very existence.

“Oh, that’s a new hasthtag. My creation,” Renfri said. “I needed to tag a pic with you two, and I thought of this...”

“What, instead of The Witcher and the Witch?” Lambert asked.

“And what’s that?” Jaskier asked before he could think better of it.

He should have expected the answer, of course.

“The hashtag people used to use for Geralt and Yennefer,” Eskel explained. “It was her character. A witch.”

“Oh, good,” Jaskier muttered. “Shouldn’t it have been The Witcher and the Bard, then?”

“Doesn’t have the same ring to it,” Renfri shrugged. “Besides, Geralt’s more of a Wolf, really.”

“True,” Jaskier nodded. “But to be honest, I don’t think it’s gonna stick.”

“You’re probably right,” Renfri nodded. “I’ve seen it used like… four times. But everyone calls you The Bard.”

“Perfect,” Jaskier grinned. “What do you think, Roach, isn’t it perfect? No, no, no! Roach! My coffee!”

He shrieked as the dog suddenly turned and jumped back onto his lap, knocking the cup out of his hand.

“Oh, dear, even dogs adore him,” Lambert sighed. “How is that fair?”

“Geralt!” Jaskier yelled. “Geralt, would you help me instead of fucking laughing?!”

“So sorry, dear heart,” Geralt chuckled. “But I think Roach has found her new favorite human.”

“I’m really glad to hear that! Oh, Geralt, you’re so gonna pay for this shirt!”

*

A few hours later, Jaskier was sitting on the couch in his living room, sipping wine and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling through his social media.

He knew he shouldn’t. He knew that it was narcissistic and, well, stupid. But he had to see. Had to convince himself that it hadn’t only been his imagination that afternoon.

He had to convince himself that yes, Kaer Morhen’s fans really did like his mad, cheeky, queer self. There were even a few who claimed that he was an improvement on Yennefer. An improvement! It was a dream come true.

He forced himself to stop and he put his phone down. Took a sip. Picked his phone back up.

He couldn’t help himself.

He gulped when he saw that Ciri had posted a new photo from the rehearsal room. A photo of Jaskier and Geralt sitting on the couch, with Roach on Jaskier’s lap. It must have been shortly after Roach knocked the coffee out of Jaskier’s hand, because Geralt was clearly laughing and Jaskier was just starting to.

Roach meeting @jaskierthebard for the first time. In case you couldn’t tell, she really hates strangers... #thebardandthewolf #andawolf #loveatfirstsight #husky #dogsofinstagram

Jaskier smiled and liked the post, and then kept looking at the picture a little longer.

He really loved Geralt’s expression there. It was so open, so happy and so damn beautiful.

Jaskier sighed, forced himself to put the phone down and closed his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from seeing the white haired man’s face.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” he whispered to himself. “You stop this, Jaskier. You stop this right now, because if you don’t, you’ll only get in trouble.”

He could stop his thoughts, yes. But he couldn’t stop his heart from beating a little faster.

*

Geralt knocked on his daughter’s door.

“Ciri, it’s eleven already. Lights out.”

He waited, but she didn’t answer, so he opened the door carefully.

The girl was asleep on her bed, dressed in her pajamas, with her laptop next to her.

Geralt took the laptop and the screen lit up. He stopped and blinked. Ciri had a new wallpaper – of Geralt, Jaskier and Roach in the rehearsal room.

He looked at the picture and smiled. He really had never seen Roach fall for someone so fast, but here she was, sitting on the bard’s lap, happy as ever.

And Jaskier…

Geralt shut the laptop and shook his head to clear it.

No. He wasn’t going to go there. No way.

He placed the laptop on a table, covered Ciri with a blanket and kissed her forehead.

“Good night, honey,” he whispered to her. “Sweet dreams.”

He turned off the light and closed the door behind himself.

Continue witch Chapter Eight

[punkinroses]

Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

[lyz-fics]

Peter Parker X FEM! Reader: The Interrogation

Hey Guys! Nana Here!

Ok, so this was a headcanon that was requested and I thought it sounded really really cute so I had to devote all my attention to this one, but……I got a bit carried away and in the end, I turned it into a story instead. AND ALSO…… Guys, I have no requests!!! (First World Problems, I know) but I find it really hard to write without requests but anyway, hope you all enjoy! Luv u guys sooooooo much <3

Words: 1,735 Words

Warning: NSFW - Public Makeout, Implied Sex. 

Summary: Becoming quite suspicious of some of Peter’s extracurricular activities you decide to interrogate him.

---===✨🎇🎆💀🎆🎇✨===---

“Please be late, please be late, please be late,” you mumbled to yourself as you ran down the street and towards the bus stop.

You were only about 100 yards away from the stop but the bus was already pulling away. You missed your chance to get a ride to the state library. Now you would definitely be late for your study session with Peter. You pulled out your phone and texted him saying that you would be a little late but he shouldn’t wait and go get a private room for them and make sure it had computers. Realized you had to walk to the library you cut through a block or two and hoping that you would catch all the green crossing lights you might actually make it on time but alas, New York traffic decided otherwise. Deciding it might be better to go around the back way you cut through the park and come out in front of the national bank. You were right in the middle of the entrance when the alarms started blaring and a gang of masked men ran out of the building. Everyone scattered into different directions but somehow your feet wouldn’t move.

They ran towards you; bags hung over their backs, guns at point-blank range. One of them grabbed you and pulled you along as he backed away from the building. You didn’t have time to contemplate what would happen next when the gun was pulled from the man's hand and he was knocked to the ground. From around the corner, a van sped away and someone in a red suit stood in front of you. You turned to face him; it was none other than your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man.

“Spiderman?” without thinking you lifted your hand to his neck, his suit was torn slightly, revealing his pale skin, marred by the red blood that flowed from the cut that lay just below his jaw.

He let you put your hand to his neck as you tried to cover his open wound and fold the suit over his neck. He grabbed hold of your wrist and brought it back down to your side as he tried to get your attention.

“Next time you’re out and about promise to be more careful of your surroundings,” he brought your hand up to his face and kissed the top of it through his suit, “okay, (Y/N)?”

“H-ha, how do you know my name?” flustered from the sweet kiss you could barely speak.

Asking this question obviously made spiderman a bit flustered as well. He jumped back a bit and stuttered as he looked around for something that could get him off the hook. Quickly shooting his web behind you he picked up a card that lay on the ground. He picked it up and prayed that it was yours otherwise he wouldn’t know how to explain this situation. He glanced at the card at let out a quick sigh of relief.

“You dropped you state library card,” he smiled at you as you still looked a bit suspicious, “sooo, are you going anywhere later?”

“well, actually,” surprised that Spiderman could be this confident in asking a civilian out from off the street, you laughed before you continued with your statement, “I have a sorta date with this cute boy in my class, we’re meant to be studying at the library to prepare for finals this week.”

At this statement, he seemed to be really surprised. He dropped your hand as he lifted his to his head a gave you a cute salute as he winked at you and flew off. You wish you could say that he flew into the sunset but alas, New York is very disappointing, he flew off into the dark stormy clouds that formed in the sky indicating that it was going to start raining.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

“Shit, shit, shit,” Peter flung through the city with his backpack in hands and study notes tucked into his spider suit, “I totally forgot my date with (Y/N), she’s gonna be soo mad. Damn, she called me cute though. Wait…is this even a date?”

He cut his web loose as he fell to the ground, landing perfectly behind the state library. He changed as quickly as he could pulling the notes out of the pants of his suit and stuffing them into his backpack instead. He pulled his phone out as he checked the time, realizing he was over an hour late, and seeing how many texts you had sent him he started running. He got to the front of the building just in time to see you leave the library. You sat at the steps and waited for him for over an hour, god he felt like such a douchebag now.

You turned as he called out to you, you couldn’t smile at him, how could you. And these lame excuses; ‘I slept in’ and the personal favorite ‘I lost track of time.’ You look at him for a few seconds before you turn back to walk into the library. Peter followed you silently, you scanned your card and walked into a private room. Once you were sitting down he placed his bag in front of you and pushed a chair closer to you.

“I’m sorry that I was-”

“I don’t care that you were late I care that you didn’t have the decency to text me that you were going to be coming late,” she practically yelled at him. You watched as he turned his head down and pulled his jumper over his head and pulled his crumpled notes out of his bag. This is the time when you noticed the scar against his neck, identical to the one Spiderman had when he saved you, it was fresh too.

“where did you get this,” you interrogated him as you lifted your hand up to touch his neck.

Quickly, he clasped his hands over his neck and made up another lame excuse, “it was a red light but I still ran across the crosswalk and I dodged a car but got cut by a branch on a tree.”

You hummed as you began to become fed up with all of this bullshit Peter was giving you.

“I almost died today,” you blurted out, “a robber was going to kill me but Spiderman saved me then asked me out on a date.”

Taking a sip of his water he listened to the start of your story with a socked expression but when you got the part about the date with spiderman he almost choked.

“No he didn’t,” he lied, “you don’t even have his number, you can’t contact him.”

This time you were lying, “I’ll text him now,” you smirked, “better yet, I’ll call him.”

You pulled out your phone from your purse and Peter broke out in the nervous sweats. You dialed Peter’s number and waited as his phone rang. He looked at his phone then back at you, he almost cursed in front of you. You were going off of a hunch but based on his reaction you guessed you were right all along.

“damn it…”

“HA, I knew it, you’re totally Spiderman,” you yelled out.

“What?” He looked so confused, “No way that I’m spiderman, aunt May just texted me saying I left the lights on, she thought there was a robber in the house, she called the police and everything. Besides, how could I be spiderman? Have you seen how buff he is?”

“OH,” you stared at him. Well now you just felt stupid, you still weren’t ready to put your theory completely to rest though. “Well,” you started acting embarrassed to sell the illusion that you believed him, “we can start studying as soon as I get back with some books.”

You walked out of the room, taking a few minutes to act as if you were searching up the code for a particular book you came back out from behind the bookcase and stared straight up at the top. You had a plan and a good one at that.

Ignoring the ladder at the side of the bookcase you pushed over a box and stood on top of it. Standing on your tiptoes you performed the most dangerous stunt in your life. You reached straight for the top shelf even though it was way up the top. In your most convincing voice of terror, you called out his name as you fell.

“Peter..”

You felt your feet no longer touching the hardcover of the box but as you felt like you were falling you never touched the ground. Your arms wrapped around a strong figure and something hard pressed around you. You opened your eyes and saw the floor what seemed like miles below you. You looked to your side and saw Peter, he was panting as he clung to you tightly as he hung from the ceiling. Looking down to see if anyone was looking he let go of the ceiling and you both fell but you touched the ground softly as you felt Peter’s hands around your waist as he placed you back on the floor gently.

“I knew it,” you told him.

“Damn you, (Y/N),” he scolded you, “you and your damn beautiful (E/C) eyes, your stupidly soft (H/C) hair. How am I going to explain this to Happy? H’s going to be pissed. You know you're in danger now right?”

You couldn’t help but smile as he walked away holding his head in his hands. Quickly he stormed over to you and pressed his hands to both of your cheeks.

“Damn you,” he said one more time, this time he whispered.

He leaned down and kissed you. It was soft and quiet as you two just stood there in each other's embrace. He slowly trailed his hands down your shoulders and around to your waist. You pulled your hands up around his shoulders as you stepped closer to him. Keeping his hands tight around your waist he started pulling you back into the private room. He quickly webbed the cameras over and picked you up and placed you on the desk. He backed away slowly and made sure the door was closed properly before he turned back to you.

“So,” he started.

“Now that you know, yadda yadda yadda, it’s a secret, blah blah blah, shut up and continue kissing me.”

[maryannalush]

Rant on Voltron season 8

I dont know how long this will be and im sorry if i ramble.

Okay so i just finish watching Voltron and let me tell you i am not amused. And it is more than just the last episode. I mean that was pretty weak in my opinion. I know some people liked it. Power to them. But not me. I felt like my intelligence had been insulted.

First i will start with Allura. I knew when I first started watching Voltron that she was going to die. And at first i was like "yea okay, last altean, i see where they are going with this". I didnt really like her character at first. She seem to happy, and just to much. But as the seasons when on i felt like she gained something. She wasn't just this hollow, one dimension, self sacrificing character. But at the same time i felt like she was constantly trying to die to save people and that's good and all but it was way overused (not just with her but all the paladins) and i just felt it was really stupid. Like you are the only people who can save the universe (and all realitys) and yet you are willing to throw away your life at the drop of a hat. 💁‍♀️ bitch what. And then with her romance with Lotor. That just rubbed me the wrong way. I get it. She thought he was the last one of her kind. I just felt forced. Like really forced. It felt to me like a plot point and nothing more.

Then we have Lance. Some things with his character were really good. Like he was a ladies man but not in the creepy way that a lot of them are played out to be. He was kind and never tried to really force his was with Allura and i loved that. He respected her and didn't treat her like some object that he could have if he tried hard enough. Everyone knew he liked her but he wasn't constantly showing her with affection and offers and gifts like i have seen over and over again in TV shows. It was really refreshing. But outside of that there wasn't much to his character. He could shoot well, yea. But that's not really a character trait. Just a skill. I think they could have done so much with his character if they tried. But he was literally like a side character the entire time. Nothing about his character really shown through the whole show. He was just sure of himself and sometimes but the team in danger. Plus he was super annoying at times. Don't get me wrong i think hes a good character but just way under done.

Next us Keith's character. I think he went though the most changes thought Voltron. With a few occational backtracks. He started out as this out cast kid who didn't like authority and wanted to be alone (the emo kid) into someone whole led the fight against the Galra. (More about becomig leader later). And i loved his character growth, but we didnt really get to see it happen. One minute he was with his mom outside of the Colony the next he's back with Voltron and hes ready to be a leader. Before he left he was still this kid who was running away from responsiblitly, running g away from being the Black Paladin and then he gets back to the ship and boom hes a leader. I understand he aged and matured and probably learned a thing or two from his mother but we never really see that. Shiro was alway "ill never give up on you" but it didnt make him the leader. Another thing that frustrated me was when Shiro left for space Keith got himself kicked out of the Garrison. Its kinda like all the stiff Shiro did to get him in and keep him in was for nothing. Especially after they thought he died. All those flash back and the time he spent with him added up to nothing. Sure it was used later to show the bond between them and help them a time or two, and that great, but i feel like that could have been achieved though the other things they went through. I also find it weird that no one ever knew that he wasn't fully human, i feel like something would have shown before he activated the Blade. All other half breeds showed outwardly that they were part Galra but he didnt. He looked totally human until then. Once again i think it was a plot point. Especially when Allura was avoiding him because he was part Galra was super stupid, or at least i thought. Mainly because i feel like really had no reason to dislike him, like he never did anything and she was like "thats because your Galra". He wasn't mean or anything. Loner, yes. I dont know it just kinda made me made.

Pidge is next. I feel like Pidges main thing was learning to accept herself and find her brother. I like how they did it and that she didnt start dressing girly once they found out. She was who she wanted to be. And being male or female didnt change that. Even when she got back to earth. I also low key forgot they were looking for her brother and farther like half way through because they never really made way on it until she saw the picture of her brother. I mean yes they hinted at it. But it seemed like she put it on a back burner, then all of a sudden it was all she cared about. And that just doesn't seem very Pidge to me. And even thought she is a girl they didnt make her less of a character than the rest like Allura was for a while. She was always super important and stayed that way.

I dont really have much to say about Hunk. I loved him and he was a good supporting character to the main people but that's just about all her was.

Okay now one of the things i really didnt like about the whole thing. The switching lion. Why, why..... why. To me it felt silly and unessisary. At the time Keith was no where near being ready to pilot the black lion and Allura had been a dull character. Lance was perfect for Blue and Keith for Red. But when they switched it made me feel like they were being forced into role that really didnt belong. I feel like Allura should have piloted the black lion in Shiros absences but given it back when Shiro returned. She had shown.she was a leader and respected by everyone and it was almost a slap in the face to see her in the blue lion. And Lance in the red lion felt wrong too. Shiro should have stayed Black paladin and in his absence Allura. Like a mom and dad duo. (Not ship wise tho) They gave off the vibes of both being the leaders, Shiro being the to and Alloura his second i command. As i srated ealier Keith did eventually step up as a leader but i feel like as the red lion he could have been a leader like Shiros right hand man. I feel like the shift was unessisary and cause more problems then it solved. And then they didnt change out fits either so you have the red paladin wearing a blue outfit and the black paladin wearing a red outfit. It irked me to no end seeing that. Like you change lion you change suit. Boi 😤🙏

And then the last season. Oof. I feel like it was pulling in so many different directions. It was so much confusing, more like info overload. They could have either made another season or took some pointless thing out. Like they kept having to prove their bond with each other every other episode. It got boring. I under stand it happening once or twice but how often i heard Keith saying we have to work together it the power is within was over kill. They already established they were super strong together. I understand they wanting the audience to know that were strong but really. Almost every episode. Come on. Give me a break. It almsot it like their bond before wasn't really a bond so they had to do it again. But whatever.

Now Alluras death. Let me tell you that made me mad. Like wtf. The was they did it was alomst lien they pulled ut out of their ass. "Hey how should we end this" "i dont know... it had to be something epic" "how about all the paladin combine their strength with all the last paladins and Hagger and fix the universe and channel it thought Allura ( how i thought it should have gone. Because we literally see the past paladins before she goes but idk) " naw lets just kill Allura and make it as unrealistic and simple as possible". I feel like they could have done so much more, something so much more meaningful. It just felt so rushed and almost pointless. Like they didnt know what to do and took out the most useless paladin and called it a day. It just wa ssooo freaking stupid and dull. And then when They were saying goodbye they were all okay with it. Didn't question it. Didn't try to come up with a different solution like they have done ever time in the past that someone tried to sacrifice theirselves. Nope just was like if you say so. Boop. Big freaking ooof. Like ever other time someone tried to sacrafice themselves they found a was to do something else but there they where kind ooc a bit. And lance. Man. I feel like he was under reacted. That was the love of his life. The girl he would never get over a d he barely argued. Like no. No. Just no. All his character development, poof gone. All im saying is they wouldn't have just accepted it. Of all the things they went through i just dont think they would.

Lastly the after credit(?) Thing. There was so much wrong with that. Like lance. I feel like he would have not moved on per say but found someone else to love. Because Allura wouldn't have wanted him to grow up and be alone for the rest of his life. It was sad and kinda pathetic. She would have wanted him to find a nice girl and have little baby lances. Instead he was forever heart broken and unable to move on. Blah. And Chip i wanted more about chip. Why did she build him. Was he supposed to be a son like figure because he looked like a child. Did he even work. I have so many questions. And then Shiro marring some random bimbo. They had no build up, nothing. He just in a few shots aboard the Atlas. It felt like a last minute decision. They could have done so much with them becoming a thing. But nope they show Shiro may or may not have been with Adam and then decided just to give him a random gay marriage. They aaidsomething about him finding happiness but never once did it seem like that was what he was looking for throughout the show. Not like Lance was. He never even seemed interested in anyone thought out the whole thing. Like maybe he traveled the first earth mission thought space or something idk. It made his character feel sallow.

End of rant. If you disagree with me or think i jave something wrong feel free to discuss it with me. Like and adult.

Thanks for your time.

[akatokuro]

The Inevitable StS Rewatch, Episodes 31-35

YES, I AM STILL MAD ABOUT SHUN!!!!!

- Even though Saori isn't a fighter, I'm glad she feels like part of the team in scenes like this! Shun telling her to watch over Seiya and her "understood" response, hnngggg.

- Recent events must be wild from Saga's POV (uncluttered with confused early filler and misunderstood lore.) There's no way for him to even be sure if Aiolos is really dead at this point, is there? I think you could easily swing a similar setup to the anime with Saga recently becoming paranoid and more brutal ever since the Galaxian Wars aired on TV, even taking out the "oh no everything changed when the pope's evil brother attacked!"

- It's not a big deal, but every time stuff like the steel ball-wielding Saint or the frisbee Saint pop up, I'm just like... WHAT HAPPENED TO ATHENA FORBIDDING WEAPONS, GUYS? has anyone told dohko that these jerks are stepping on his territory?

- hyouga and shun sure are married. in other news, water wet, sky blue, etc etc

- Hi again, Ikki! Nice to see you back and at least 80% more in character? Still a little too specifically protective of Saori but a big improvement from the last time you were here, at least!

- I MEAN, HANGING OFF EITHER ENDS OF A CHAIN ON A TREE BRANCH CAN BE A LEGIT DATE, TOO, HYOSHUN!

- "Oi, Shun! Oi!" hnnnngggggg, and then telling Shun to go up first, hnnnnggggg. swan may be a dumbass but he is a very sweet boyfriend

- Something about these two as a duo, even - or maybe even especially - lurking in the background together is so fucking charming. I think part of what makes the HyoShun feel oddly real even at this stage is Hyouga's weird insistence on saying Shun's name at every opportunity...? But they really do have this natural chemistry where they feel especially, quietly fond of each other.

- headless ikki is hilarious

- "Heh, if Shun and Hyouga can't survive getting thrown off a cliff on their own, they're losers anyway. Let's beat it" ah yes now there's the ikki i know and love!

- saori nooooooo!

- By the time she officially assumes her role at Sanctuary, Saori definitely hates herself. It's pretty painful seeing that process really get going in these past few eps.

- Once again, as always, Hyouga comes across as really attentive to Shun. Something about the emphasis on the shot of Hyouga lifting his eyes to him before turning to Shun and addressing him directly when he didn't really need to. The charming thing about Hyouga is that yes, he puffs himself up, but he's also 100% earnest all the time - he doesn't feel self-conscious or defensive about his attentiveness or concern for Shun, either.

- Oh right, the Ikki backstory that for some reason they kicked to the present while cutting Shaka's role. That is a shame. This is one of those things in my grotesque Frankenstein-like personal Saint Seiya canon where the manga version does win out.

- I'M PRETTY SURE THE SETTING WITH ESMERALDA'S DEATH WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IN THE ORIGINAL FLASHBACK...? I MEAN, OKAY, BUT...

- I feel like ordinarily I would be really annoyed by what a flat "I solely exist to make sad doe eyes and then be fridged" female character Esmeralda is, but the whole thing with "teehee, did you mistake me for your little brother again!" "Yeah, you look exactly like him!" "Teeheehee!" is so fucking weird it just drains me of all capacity to be potentially outraged...

- I ENJOY HYOUGA JUST CASUALLY INCLUDING HIMSELF AS ACCOMPANYING SHUN ON HIS IKKI INVESTIGATION LIKE IT'S THE MOST OBVIOUS THING.

- Between this and his boyfriend's complex about his dead mom......... Shun sure has a hard life..........

- And now we're into Shiryuu's filler arc! Considering how weird the manga-anime relationship in StS is and how both fed into and revised each other, is it unreasonable to assume that Kurumada saw this set of episodes and went: "Tiger-themed character to contrast Shiryuu's dragon... Ohko... Ohko... Ohko........... d......ohko...? DOHKO......? WHOA YES NAILED IT"

- I do like the contrast in this episode between Shiryuu presenting a calm facade and "it'll be okay, any one of us would have done it" to the other Bronzies, but here in private he's having violent nightmares and obviously struggling with what's happened to him.

- I feel so sorry for Shunrei. Her body language and expressions here tell you a lot about the quiet frustration and anguish that she keeps pinned down under that gentle, supportive face. Hm, you and your future husband do have that in common, I suppose, Shunrei...

- It's still hard to see Shiryuu taking his frustrations out on Shunrei, though. Uncool, my dude.

- It's also hard to see Shunrei implicitly devaluing herself and "accepting" that her concern isn't enough to move Shiryuu on its own by bringing up Seiya and the others in order to motivate him - and then catching herself for letting an edge get into her voice.

- Seiya, his weird early entry from the filler is over. Ikki gonna Ik. Best to just accept it, the way his younger brother mostly does...

- Hey, is this the first time Seiya belts out his "Saori-san"? An exciting occassion!

- I do think it's interesting and nice in the wider context that Saori comes to Ikki's defense here - both understanding that Saori is privately blaming herself for what happened to Shiryuu and Seiya, and knowing that Ikki is also incredibly damaged for things that she and her grandfather was responsible for. Ikki is fucked up and can't communicate well because of things Saori was complicit in, so yes, it's appropriate that she at least urge others to be understanding of him.

- kurumada flying bythe seat of his pants jokes aside ohko is a bad character sorry

- Seiya/Shiryuu fans must have been veeeeeery happy about this setup with Seiya searching for the magic water...

- It must have taken a ton of courage and frustration for Shunrei to finally "snap" a bit and be honest about what she wants like this. Shunrei is in a painful position where she can't hate Sainthood and what it does to her loved ones, per se - because she was raised by Dohko and owes everything to Saints and has been basically indoctrinated into the SAINTS = NOBLE AND GOOD worldview as well - but it still tears her apart to see Shiryuu volunteer himself to get ripped to shreds, and hate himself and see himself as lesser if he can't do that. So she mostly just locks everything inside.

- I like her including "Seiya and the others will understand!" too, because it reflects her desperation and how much thought she’s quietly put into this.

- She's right, by the way, Shiryuu. You could be so happy with her. You are sort of unique amongst most of the Saints in that you really do have the capacity to find a good life outside of the Sainthood and be happy. RETIRE, GODDAMMIT. (Next Dimension made me a little bit upset, can you tell?)

- Considering Shunrei's courage in putting herself out there in a way she almost never dares to, it really sucks to see Shiryuu just totally reject her in a pretty cruel way. I get that he's hurting, but VERY uncool, man.

- And then Shunrei begging Dohko for help, and just getting "LOL THIS IS THE DESTINY OF SOMEONE WHO LIVES AS A SAINT!" Like, I think Shiryuu is a good guy, but really, Shunrei probably deserves a lot better than a Saint, period.

- And then Ohko and Shiryuu have a shounen fight where Shiryuu regains his self-confidence and Ohko finally grasps the meaning of true strength blah blah blah. Wow, Shunrei really was the most interesting part of this arc, huh?

- All the mumbling Dohko does in these eps about "I must return to my task" is weirdly hilarious to me, though. Like... what, did you take a break from watching the seal for a while? DID YOU LET RHADAMANTHYS SLIP OUT FROM UNDER THE WATERFALL TO OBSERVE THIS DUEL OR

- and then aiolos randomly decides that he wants to take a bath, trolling both graude and sanctuary alike. sure.jpg

- Shiryuu, you stupid fuck. You absolute dumbass. You moron. You could be so, so, so happy. Goddammit, Shiryuu.

- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, MU

- KIKI IS FUCKING EIGHT YEARS OLD. you didn't leave him a note? did you leave him out food? i love the implication that mu disappeared because he's laying low since sanctuary's mooks are probably after him. YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO WARN KIKI ABOUT THIS?

- ESPECIALLY SINCE A SANCTUARY MOOK DOES ACTUALLY SHOW UP LOOKING FOR MU WHEN KIKI IS THERE AND SEIYA HAS TO SAVE HIM?

- and then we spent an entire filler episode watching seiya climb a mountain and punch birds.

- next episode: HE HAS ARRIVED AT LAST. IT'S MILO TIME MOTHERFUCKERS

[ryouverua]

Chapter 5 Investigation (1)

Oh, that’s just my heart breaking. Why, what’s going on with you?

Is that Komaeda’s bloody song playing right now??? I know you guys want to hammer home the comparison right now but really??? Really???

I get it, it is a horrifying song for a horrifying moment, I really do - but I want to distinguish this the last game and this whole set-up (as well as the two involved!) have me feeling all sorts of Umineko things, so I’m going to lend you some alternatives to go with the truth/lies theme I desperately want back while I read over everything again.

Golden slaughterer  |  Miragecoordinator

honestly they both fit well because goldenslaughterer literally played when a similar garage shutter was lifted and the horrifying sight was revealed while also having a harpsichord section Kaede would be proud of, while Kokichi would probably love the title ‘mirage coordinator’ so take your pick or look up the original ‘sing the empty truth’ song, it’s up to you .

And the rest of you are here -

I really don’t know how Shuichi’s heart can hold it together at this point. Aaah, Sweetcheeks...

Ow game, okay! No need to rub further salt in the wound! As if I wouldn’t be able to recognize his coat the second I saw it there smh...

I can’t even imagine how Maki is feeling right now.

FML we’re so in sync right now and under the most terrible of circumstances -

OH LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE YOU STUPID BEAR

If.... Monokuma is moving? If the killing game is continuing? I... don’t know about that...

I want to make a Saimouta joke here but I CAN’T THIS IS SO AWFUL EVERYTHING HURTS

AND SHUICHI IS ACTING SO NATURALLY, EXACTLY AS HE SHOULD IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS

Shit, dude. Still, this wasn’t just some stranger - right? Or... or have you been through something like this before?

Compartmentalizing, huh? I guess if you engage with the situation as the Ultimate Assassin rather than Kaito’s friend/potential love interest, you could move forward in the short term...

Aaaah, but just like Maki, Shuichi has another role he can slip into too - though I don’t know if he can do it as seamlessly as Maki has.

Oh??

I was about to make a comment on Shuichi clinging to a fragile shred of hope that Kaito wasn’t dead, purely for emotion’s sake the same way Kaito did last chapter with Gonta, but...

... Maki unintentionally brings up a good point, though completely flipped upside-down. When Kokichi was being the mastermind, Monokuma was gone - being guarded, I’m assuming, as shown earlier with the exisals - and now someone is dead and Monokuma/the killing game are both back on. So... why? Why show up now? Could this just be the case of the mastermind finally being able to create a new Monokuma, or does this mean....?

Yikes, I forgot - he wasn’t just sick, he was wounded. That... would make things extremely difficult....

Honestly, that’s true both ways. I just... I don’t know if I can see Kokichi killing Kaito. He has (had?) all the cards - there was no need to. He would be the obvious culprit - I mean, honestly, just look at everyone now - he is the obvious culprit - and if he just took temporary control of the game and lost it somehow, why would he risk making himself the blackened?

Could... no, this seems silly, but could this be a framing by the mastermind, to paint the troublemaker as the culprit? It would be an interesting callback to the first game, except with the victim being... well, not ~hidden~ in the same way. It’s a bit of an unlikely scenario, but no point in discounting it right out the gate.

YES SWEETCHEEKS SLAM THAT TIRED HOPE OR DESPAIR THEME BACK INTO SDR2 WHERE IT BELONGS

Somehow I don’t think that’ll be a problem with Monokuma back in the fray and also Maki who, let us all remember, has a hunting knife on her person.

Just so you know Tsumugi, the fact that you seem to know a lot about Junko is really making me side-eye you right now. still love you though

ALSO! ALSO, THIS COMPLETELY RUNS AGAINST WHAT YOU WERE ALL SAYING ABOUT KOKICHI GETTING BORED OF THE GAME AND THROWING IT AWAY! YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS! Though I guess you could argue the illusion of taking the game away only to suddenly spring it upon everyone again would be despair-inducing and blah blah blah but that is still highly suspect -

Maki is seriously in ‘take no prisoners’ mode, huh? I... I guess we all have our own way of dealing with death...

I don’t know if I’d call it that? It seems more like tunnel vision to me.

Well, let’s take a look at the all-important Monokuma File...

Wait, you’re seriously not going to give us the victim’s identity? You, uh, you know we’ll know who it is once the other person comes to the trial, right? ... Didn’t this happen in the Kyouko/Mukuro case, now that I’m thinking back?

Maki?!?! Wait, really?!

I actually said, very softly, ‘oh, shit,’ out loud.

Shuichi’s just trying to pay tribute to him that’s all

No... no, despite how strange it might seem for Shuichi to not want to believe Kaito is in there, I think he’s making the right choice in exploring all the avenues. Maki should know by now that he’s willing to follow the path to the truth down to the bitter end - he’s done that with both Kaede and Gonta.

Seriously though, damn - you’re being seriously hostile? I understand grieving, but this seems a bit...???

the electrobomb

K1-b0, kiddo, it’s the electrobomb

Don’t stick around if you aren’t feeling well, K1-b0!!! This is a dire situation and you have nothing to prove right now!!!

HIMIKO STOP BULLYING K1-B0 THIS IS HIGHLY ILL-TIMED

I wonder what the equivalent feeling for him would be? Similar to nausea or dizziness or something? General fatigue or chest tightening? Fuzzy head, or a migraine? However it is, feel better K1-b0!

Aaah Himiko, you too huh? D: Man, everyone’s ditching us this investigation.

.... Tsumugi, you’re the last one standing. BE OUR INVESTIGATION PARTNER!

I guess??? It’s weird - she really seems convinced it was Kokichi. With that said, seeing Kaito - or who knows, maybe it is Kokichi under there - like that would shake anyone up. Himiko’s been through a lot this game, so seeing her resolve break down isn’t exactly abnormal.

Kokichi really left a huge impression on you. Every time she talks, Kokichi sounds like this impressive larger-than-life cackling villain from, well, one of her space epics she loves so much. It probably wasn’t nearly as much fun to go up against one of those types of characters in real life, was it?

Unless it was a locked room crime, which I don’t... know about yet. Eurgh. There’s only one confirmed entrance - the bathroom window has to be too small to fit anyone through, even Kokichi and Himiko. We could barely see Kaito’s whole face through it!

“Don’t neglect the heart!”

... Reasons to kill Kaito. Reasons to kill Kaito. If Kokichi was the mastermind, general ~despair~, sure. Fine. But if he wasn’t, which is what I’m 99% certain on now......

......... Self-Defence? Or did he die already? We haven’t had a chance to go over the safety feature of the press yet, but if Kaito was already dead.....

Wait Tsumugi too? She’s right there!

OI

SHUICHI!!!

TSUMUGI IS

RIGHT THERE

AND WILLING TO TALK TO US!!! YOU WERE LITERALLY CONVERSING WITH HER FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES! OI!!!

Shuichi: looks at Tsumugi, remembers love hotel scenario with her, resolves to investigate by himself

okay, harsh but fair tbh

I am so, so happy Shuichi’s focus is back on ‘truth’ and off of ‘hope’, you just have no idea.

I WASN’T READY FOR YOU TO SHOW UP AGAIN

You’re just mad you got sidelined for the last few days lmao

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING THE MONOKUBS A THING

learn how to use EVA foam well and then get back to me, bear

I’M SORRY YOU CANNOT GET MAD ABOUT FALSE ADVERTISING WHEN KAEDE IS STILL PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED ON THE GAME COVER

So the body was moved... whatever happened, it wasn’t at the press along. Makes sense - no one would go in there without a fight or a reason (EYES K1-B0). Something must have happened to lead to this point.

Y-You’re braver than me, Shuichi... Aaaah jeez, I’m seriously not ready D:

!!!!!!

oh?!

.... I mean, thank goodness, but on the other hand.... we’re really sticking this through, huh? But to what end? The person still alive will have to come to the trial in the end, right?

That is some damn deliberate action. So someone doesn’t want us to lift the press... but there’s only one reason that would be, right? So we can’t ID the body, right?

Yeah!!! So why didn’t it work??

I... I have to wonder if the body was living when it went in there, and if it wasn’t... well, we have clear signs of something other than the press being a weapon (COUGH CROSSBOW THAT WE HAVEN’T FOUND YET BUT WAS TOTALLY SHOWN TO US EARLIER FOR A REASON), so that’s option 1, and then there’s Kaito’s illness which may have finally taken its toll. Are we going to have to determine what the real cause of death is, but without a body to look at? That... will be very tricky...

nngjsdklfngksldjf

D: D: D:

I don’t want to lose Kaito. I really, really don’t. I was preparing for it, but I was still going to flinch when the trigger was finally pulled.

But -

if - and that’s still a big if - Shuichi is somehow right, and it’s not Kaito - I really don’t want to lose Kokichi either, you know? He’s been such an incredible, interesting force during this entire game and especially with all the hints they’re dropping about the whole mastermind schtick of his being a coup as opposed to the actual truth, to have it end like this...

criiiiiiiiiinge now I really hope he was dead before he went in there

.... Oh shit, what if the crossbow was crushed with the body??? 

I said 10 seconds before finding out the bathroom was a MINE full of evidence, hot damn! I lost the screenshots for it, but what we found:

Crossbow

Bottle (poison from Shuichi’s lab??? so it finally comes into play...)

Black Case (so it wasn’t assembled before it reached the hangar)

Talk about a huge turnabout! So now there’s poison in play too? That means there’s a third method - or well, if you combine the poison with the crossbow bolts, a way for Kaito to completely incapacitate Kokichi. There’s no way for Kokichi to know how to assemble the crossbow, and the bloodstain pattern starts here, so if there was a body being ragged the original attack happened in the washroom. This is a pretty pyrrhic win for Shuichi regarding Kaito being alive - we now have evidence that Kokichi may be dead, but at the cost of Kaito being the culprit!

It also means Kaito had someone help him from the outside.... Maki.

Aaaw, Sweetcheeks actually is starting get attached to K1-b0! And it only took you what, four chapters? Better late than never, I suppose!

Did Kokichi call it back for some reason? I’m surprised it didn’t react to you, even if it is being accessed remotely. Maybe it needs a proper pilot to be alert to its surroundings.

Exisals, but not humans - unless the alarm is turned off. You’d be able to do that from the inside, right? In order to get Kaito in there he’d have to have one of the exisals carry him in and I don’t think he’d want the alarm blaring but he also wouldn’t want to autopilot it with Kaito in the pilot’s seat in case he woke up (I have a feeling if anyone could figure out how to use one in a pinch, it would probably be him), so Kokichi going in first to be able to disable the alarm and let the exisal carrying Kaito in would make sense. Not that this probably matters too much right now - this is just me wondering about the initial transport a few days ago.

I have a strong feeling that it was Maki - 

Wait, what?? Seriously?!

UH, HIMIKO, WHY DID YOU BRING A CROSSBOW TO THE HANGAR???

I... didn’t actually bother to cap that last post. I thought she was just nervous the way she usually is. That does explain her current behaviour! Is she blaming herself for what happened?

W... WHATEVER HELPS YOU RECHARGE AT NIGHT, K1-B0....

With... an exisal maybe?

okay I’m going to have to separate this because there is so much going on right now. I like how we started with a clear victim but now we’ve got a lot of uncertainty being thrown into the mix. Disappearing culprits and hidden victims, eh? not enough to soothe my broken heart but I’ll take it