#ROWS function in Excel

[sharingknowledgewithmouli]

Excel Row Counting: How to Count Text, Numerical, Blank and Data Rows Using Functions

Excel Row Counting: How to Count Text, Numerical, Blank and Data Rows Using Functions

Excel is one of the most widely used spreadsheet applications in the world and it is easy to see why. Its powerful features and flexible tools make it an indispensable tool for businesses and individuals alike. One of the most basic tasks in Excel is counting rows, but this seemingly simple task can actually be quite complex. In this tutorial, we will show you how to count the number of rows in…

[melonpond]

I'm always like "oh this excel spreadsheet will be so quick and easy to throw together" and then two hours later I'm digging through the trenches of the internet, seeking wisdom from Excel sages for obscure and increasingly complicated functions to do one thing

[relto]

my mom has this spreadsheet thing she has to do at work once a year, several thousand entries she has to do some data analysis on. up until now her go to method was apparently to count things by hand (!!), taking hours, but yesterday i did some countif magic with her and the actual counting part was done in a few minutes!

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[utilitycaster]

I'm curious about your judgement of the success of the various format experimentations in Campaign 3. If you feel like saying a bit more, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on which are the most and least successful, and why.

Sure! So as I said earlier today, I think a big problem is that the format experimentation and the moon plot are directly at odds. Pulling off the moon plot, with all the NPCs from past campaigns and payoff of various canonical setups requires a pretty firm hand on what the current canon is, and also really did require a firmer hand in the character creation than there was. On the other hand, the point of experimentation is to let other people play in the space and introduce their ideas. This comes together in what I have referred to in the past as "Not Now." Like, the Crown Keepers showing up just as the party was grappling with FCG's death? Not bad as a concept, but Not Now. Abubakar playing Corellon? Incredible performance, but the fact that he was given free rein in a plot that's already shedding viewers left and right for its lack of direction? Not Now.

On an individual level:

I think EXU Prime either needed to be fully standalone, or Matt needed to provide a slightly more rigid direction to Aabria and therefore really couldn't play Dariax. If it's going to get woven into the main plot of Campaign 3 it needs to set that up (including giving Liam and Ashley a heads up beforehand). My personal vote would be for the former, to allow Aabria to tell her own story without it having to serve like 20 different functions, but what's done is done. If I recall, Liam and Ashley had the option to play different characters for Campaign 3 and I do wonder what would happen if they had decided differently, because you could still have Dorian pop up as a guest but I wonder if the Crown Keepers would have shown up in the same way.

Similarly, as stated, the general concept of the Crown Keepers interlude during the campaign as a means to bring in Dorian? I'm not opposed, though I think this is by far the hardest thing to coordinate generally and for a plot as demanding as Campaign 3 probably not a great idea. But it's hard to judge because the timing was truly the worst timing possible given the events of episode 91, and even delaying by like an episode or two would have at least solved that to the point that I don't understand why they didn't just...do that. (and, just to head off this particularly stupid argument at the pass, this would not have in any way affected Sam's ability to take time off for cancer treatment; it would have just shifted things around, and a lot of this experimentation was planned WELL in advance). [sidebar: I haven't listened to the WBN interlude yet but I do have thoughts because I think interludes from different GMs can be done, but the premise of Campaign 3 is particularly hostile towards them unless the main GM has a very heavy hand in their creation or unless they are light on things relevant to the core plot and mostly for the purpose of worldbuilding a la Song of the Lorelei.]

Solstice split was excellent and I think it's because it was not actually anything you wouldn't see in how people frequently play D&D at home. You have a few players who won't be available for a few sessions in a row? Great, find a reason to split the party, bring some other guest players in, and run some side quests!

Downfall was great because it was diagetic. It was a story within a story that Bells Hells was seeing and responding to, and because it took place so long ago with such specific characters, while it may bleed into how Laura, Taliesin, or Ashley feel in game (impossible to prevent, people bring their own feelings to the table), Matt still has room to decide how the Raven Queen, Wildmother, or Everlight feel a thousand years later. I also feel this had the most direction from Matt, which the other things really needed.

As said, bringing in Abubakar to DM as Corellon is something that again, this plot simply doesn't handle well. It makes for a fantastic scene, but within the 107-and-counting episodes of this story, giving the reins to someone else after you finally have a clear plan and letting them throw another curveball is a terrible idea narratively. I think this again would be fine in a story with a looser plot.

Echoes of the Solstice and presumably the upcoming Vox Machina Malleus Key/Mighty Nein Weave Mind concept is again pretty good. This also fits into things that D&D home games have been doing forever - run a one shot or mini campaign following different characters but DM-ed by the same person that have an impact on the current plot but aren't too closely interwoven. Basically this is like the solstice split in concept.

Essentially: I think playing around with the format within a campaign but having the same GM is pretty easy to do. Once you introduce other GMs acting within the world concurrently (rather than as a story with a foregone conclusion a la Downfall, or for that matter Calamity) you need to be extremely careful if you are trying to tell a specific story with a lot of moving parts, as Matt is with Campaign 3. It's one thing to improvise based on things your players do or say; it's another to do so based on improv by a major NPC or someone doing extensive worldbuilding mid-game that you now need to incorporate. This wouldn't be an issue in a more sandbox-style game; Campaign 2 might have been able to withstand it more gracefully, though I'm still not sure. But Campaign 3 was the wrong place to do it. Again, it's trying to converge in some places and diverge in the others and as a result it's just kind of flopping around in place.

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

My swordsman

Zoro x reader. Modern AU.

*****

The whole country -the whole world really- is crazy about singer and musician (name). She's a literal diva, loved by millions, each of her songs goes straight to the top of the charts, every concert is sold out, music journalists and critics have nothing but praise for her and her music. She's probably the best-known entertainer in the country, surely destined to a long and successful career while so many other musicians quickly fall into oblivion.

Zoro's friends are all big fans of (name). They put her music on in the kitchen of the Going Merry restaurant (owned by Merry himself) where they all work, sing her songs at karaoke night, and follow her avidly on social media. Her concert tickets are too expensive for the four working students, who all live together in a tiny apartment, but once last year, miraculously, they found an envelope at the restaurant with four front-row tickets for (name)'s most anticipated show. They have no idea who left them, since no one they know could afford such an expense, not to mention the tickets had been sold out within minutes months before, but whoever their mysterious donor is, they were very grateful. The concert was the best night of their life, (name) so close they could almost touch her, four hours of excellent live music, spent singing at the top of their lungs.

Zoro is the only one of the quintet who doesn't share the others’ enthusiasm for the singer. He's alright with listening to her music in the kitchen, even though he occasionally points out they could listen to someone else for a change, and when asked he does admit (name) has a very nice voice, but he is not the sort of person who gets excited about celebrities or follows their professional life through the years.

Even though he has been working at the Merry for as long as the others have, and he is very close to them -even to that damn cook- Zoro is also the only one who doesn't share his colleagues' apartment. He still lives at home, to save money, but since his father, Mihawk, doesn't want a band of rowdy young adults in his house, most of the time the five friends gather at the apartment to spend time together, or go out.

At least, this is what he has always told them, and made them believe. The truth is very different, and Zoro hopes dearly it will not come to light until she is ready to reveal it.

*****

"I'm home!" Zoro calls as he closes the door behind him, the handles of a paper bag with the restaurant's logo in his hand "I got dessert!"

"That's great! Welcome back." (name) says as she walks up to him, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss "I made dinner, hope you're hungry."

"Famished."

"Good. Wash your hands, I'll put the food on the table."

The apartment is tiny, relatively comfortable in the spartan, functional way his original occupant prefers, but clearly not on the same level as the house he was born and grew up in, owned by his father, located in the most affluent part of the city. Nevertheless, when he finished school Zoro decided it was time for him to start supporting himself, which mainly meant finding a job and a place of his own to rent. He sometimes misses his larger bedroom, and the training room on the ground floor he and his father trained in together every day, not to mention the house had working faucets and the heating that did not stop working in the midde of the winter, but he makes do... and he has never been more grateful for the privacy the apartment affords him than since he's no longer living there alone.

He goes to their shared bedroom to take off his coat and shoes, stops in the bathroom, and then reaches the tiny kitchen, where the table is already set for two.

(name) is singing softly to herself as she cooks, quickly preparing two plates of Zoro's favourite meal. With sweatpants and an old tee of Zoro's on, and no trace of make-up on her face, she looks like a completely different person, and not even her most ardent fans would recognise her as the famous singer whose outlandish fashion sense has made her the darling of many designers and reporters. She has told him more than once that while she does like playing dress-up and wearing expensive or even extravagant clothes, those are chosen by her staff to uphold her professional persona, and she feels much more at ease wearing jeans and sneakers.

"How was work?" (name) asks as she pours water in her glass.

"Pretty good. A guy started harassing Nami, but the cook and I took care of it and kicked him out."

"You did well. I hate situations like that..."

They eat sitting across from each other, enjoying a moment of peace after a day of study and work. (name) has been back for two days after six weeks spent on tour, and while she and Zoro spoke and texted each other every day, they both missed each other very much. He's determined to enjoy their time together while it lasts... until she has to leave again for work.

"I went to the bank today." (name) mentions after a while "For... the usual matter."

"How much this time?"

"I am officially a hundred-thousand berry poorer, which means I am, once again, penniless or almost. If only people knew how little money artists are actually paid, I bet half of the aspiring singers in this country would choose something else to do... But I already paid rent for the month."

"You know I have some money saved up; you don't have to stress about it." Zoro points out; he knows how his girlfriend hates receiving charity, or having to depend on him, but he has noticed how tired she looks, even after two days of rest, and he hates it - he hates she having to stress and worry and sacrifice her youth to solve troubles, and make up for mistakes, that are not her own. 

It wasn’t her mother’s fault, either; this (name) always insisted every time she and Zoro talked about her past. Rather, the only person responsible for her current situation was her mother’s new boyfriend, who first seduced a woman who had been alone for so many years with empty declarations of love, convinced her to invest all she had in a project he didn’t even bother inventing a lie for, and then to ask for enormous loan to provide additional funding. He then stole the whole sum, leaving (name)’s mother completely berryless; wracked by guilt and shame, unable to admit with her beloved daughter what she had done and that they had nothing left, not even a house, the poor woman took her own life, leaving (name) alone, broken-hearted, and with enormous debts to repay. 

“It’s the music that saved me.” she told Zoro. They had been schoolmates years before, and then met again when he was in his last year of school and her career had just started taking off; their eyes locked in the crowd of the metro station at peak time, and both felt unable to look away “Not just because singing and writing songs had always been my greatest passion, the only thing I could find some solace in after the loss of my mother and all the troubles that monster of her boyfriend had caused. I was never interested in fame, I would have been happy to have a normal job and then sing in pubs or at parties, but when an agent heard me sing and offered to represent me, I realised that it could be my way out, to repay mom’s debts. I am grateful for where I am now, all the people who love my music and come see me sing live, but if I really had the choice, I would leave all of it behind, find myself a job as a sales clerk or a bartender, and just sing for myself and my friends. Nothing would make me happier; and that is what I will do, one day, when I have no more debts to repay.”

Zoro had never had any interest in romance, or in a relationship of his own, but the attraction he felt for (name), for her quiet strength and confident smile, and that way she had to bite her lip when she listened intently as he spoke, not to mention she had grown to be a very attractive young woman, was immediate, undeniable, and thank God reciprocated. They got together, celebrating Zoro’s diploma with their first kiss, and two months later he asked her to come live with him.

“We can split rent. And I’m going to stay away for weeks at a time when I’m on tour, but I’m gonna help with the cleaning and the bills as well.”

“Hey, there’s no need for you to stress about this as well. I’m not looking for a housemate, I just wanna live with you.”

“And I want to live with you, Zoro.” (name) pointed out gently as they shared popcorn sitting on the apartment’s tiny sofa “But you already work hard, and study even harder; the last thing I want is to depend on you.”

Just like she is his.

And so it started; almost three years later, they’re more in love than ever, Zoro is midway through his degree, and (name) is the most successful musical artist in the country, even though her millions of fans have no idea she sometimes has to walk to places because she can’t afford the metro, still has huge debts to repay, and lives with her non-celebrity boyfriend, she who gossip magazines link to a new man -some of whom she has never met if not socially- every month. She has asked him not to tell anyone they are seeing each other, and Zoro obliged, even though he does feel a little guilty keeping such a big part of his life secret from his dearest friends; he wishes he could introduce (name) to Luffy and the others, spend time with all of them together, but this is his girlfriend’s choice, to keep her private life and her job separate, and he is determined to help her - to be her safe place from stress and fear and guilt.

They take their time eating, talking about their day, and then enjoying the desserts Zoro has brought back from the restaurant. He is hoping to get a scholarship for next year, not sufficient for him to stop working -not that he ever would; he likes working at the Merry, and he likes working with his friends- but enough to allow him to breathe a little more freely when the time to pay his tuition fees come, while (name) is busy writing and recording songs for her new album, a part of her job she actually still likes, unlike most of what her position as a celebrity entails. 

“So many people keep asking me who the swordsman is.” she mentions in the end, suddenly tense “I keep insisting that it’s not a real person, since a song doesn’t necessarily have to be inspired by real facts, but both journalists and fans on social media are still convinced otherwise. I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have…”

My swordsman is (name)’s most successful song to date, a multi-platinum love ballad dedicated to a mysterious blade-wielding warrior which has inflamed the fantasy of millions of fans, determined to discover the real identity of their idol’s lover. The song gives no indications on the matter, (name) has been careful to avoid that, but the interest on the singer’s lovelife seems to have doubled since My swordsman was released.

“Well, I like that song.”

“You really do? You don’t fear someone may think it’s about you?”

“Of course; you know I know nothing about music and songwriting, but that one is my favourite. And let people talk, sooner or later they’ll find some new gossip to focus on.” Zoro says. The truth is, he really wishes his girlfriend had changed the lyrics of her most popular song; after all, she is the one determined to keep her private and professional lives separate, and the last thing they both want is reporters and fans following them around as they go to the supermarket or enjoy an ice-cream on a summer day. It did happen that, soon after the radios started playing My swordsman, Nami and Sanji mentioned the song seemed to have been written about Zoro; neither them nor the others suspected this was actually true, Zoro is sure about it, but that song was a risk that could have been easily avoided…

On the other hand, a song dedicated to him, inspired by the love he and (name) share, and that has been listened to by millions of people? Zoro doesn’t consider himself a particularly romantic person, but what better love declaration could he have asked for? The first time (name) sang the song for him, in the privacy of their apartment, he was so moved he cried.

“I’ve been an idiot.” (name) murmurs; there is still food on her plate, but the young woman has stopped eating, hands abandoned on her lap, tension having enveloped her body “I had already more than enough songs for the album, what need there was to include that one? I should have kept it just for the two of us… if people find out about you and start giving you a hard time, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“It’s no problem, really.”

“I really hope so. I’m sorry, Zoro…”

He murmurs that she has nothing to apologise for, and he actually believes it. “Come now.” he says standing and picking up the plates with their desserts - Sanji’s famous panna cotta, one of the most popular dishes at the restaurant.

“But we haven’t finished yet.”

“I know, I wasn’t cleaning up. Let’s go on the terrace.”

“I have spoken to Robin about my situation.” (name) mentions after a while; Robin is her manager, a good woman who really cares about the singer’s well-being as well as her professional success, and she’s also the only person (name) has shared her disastrous economic situation with “She spoke to a few of my most important creditors, we did a little bit of math… and she thinks that if I go on like this, in three years I should be able to pay my mom’s debts and retire, if I want to.”

The terrace is, just like the apartment it is connected to, minuscule, barely large enough for a couple of deck chairs and a single potted plant in a corner, but it offers a lovely view of the sea and the mountains surrounding the town. (name) and Zoro sit there, enjoying their desserts as they admire the stars filling the sky; for a while neither feels the need to speak, their feet touching between the chairs.

Three years feel like an eternity. “That is good.” Zoro comments as he places the fork on the empty plate on his lap; they don’t always see eye to eye, but he has to admit it -at least when the cook can’t hear it- Sanji can make a mean panna cotta “It is less than you expected, right?”

“Yes, but more than I hoped. I feel such an egoist, since I live a very privileged life, but I hate this, you know? Being followed wherever I go, people talking about my life, my weight, my body, with no right to do that… I really hate it, but I can’t stop it.”

(name) sighs; Zoro knows his girlfriend is stronger than this, stronger than even she gives herself credit for, and this is why he hates seeing her so exhausted. Being a famous singer when she’d prefer a quieter life away from the spotlight may seem like a little price to pay, compared to so many people in the country who are unemployed, work in unsafe conditions or earn too little to support themselves, and (name) is well aware she has it better than most, but she has lost her mother when she was still a girl, and then got saddled with enormous debts to repay. There is nothing Zoro would not do to help her, but his job pays barely enough for his bills and school, and his girlfriend is too proud to accept his help anyway…

Her hand takes his; he squeezes hers, and (name) smiles at him, even though regret still fills her eyes. “I wish things were different.” she murmurs “If that man hadn’t entered my mother’s life… she would be still alive, and this is the most important thing, but if I had still become a famous singer I could buy a nice house for us, and you could concentrate on school without having to work. I could pay for a good life for the two of us; I mean, I like this apartment, and all I need is to be with you, but…”

“No buts; as you said, what matters is that we can be together, all the rest is secondary. And I wouldn’t let you pay my bills and the rest in any case.” 

“You sure? I wouldn’t mind having you as my kept man…”

They share a smile; the dark of the night envelops them, hiding their kiss. Zoro feels (name) sigh against him, her fingers ghosting along his neck in a way that never fails to make him shiver. They have already made love last night, and the one before it, starved for each other after weeks of separation, but suddenly it’s not enough anymore, suddenly he needs her more than ever, so much he can feel his blood screaming for her…

Alarm fills (name)’s eyes; Mihawk knows his son lives with a girl, even though they have never been formally introduced, but Zoro has never told him he’s pretending to still live at home with him to keep the apartment, and consequently the identity of his roommate, secret. “And what did your father say?”

“Last week Luffy and Nami went to my father’s home.” he mentions after a few minutes he and his girlfriend have spent kissing furiously, the dessert plates abandoned on the terrace floor, their chairs pushed together to allow them to embrace “I had left my bag at the restaurants, and they went there to return it.”

“He simply said he would give me the jacket, and texted me to tell me.”

“Do you think he suspects something? Or that Nami and Luffy do?”

Zoro shakes his head. By now he knows his friends well enough to know when they’re keeping something from him, and he’s pretty sure neither Luffy nor Nami realised he’s no longer living where they think; and his father trusts him enough to let him leave his life, unbothered by his son’s relationship with his friends. “I’m pretty sure they don’t; I was in class when they came, so I had a good excuse not to come to the door.”

“Oh, that was lucky…”

He kisses her brow; (name) smiles as she rests her cheek against his shoulder. They hold each other, unbothered by the rest of the world. (name)’s fans, with their well-intentioned but at times suffocating affection and adoration, are far away, the arms holding the young woman the only ones she has ever wanted touching her.

“We could tell them, you know.” Zoro murmurs in the end; part of him wishes they could simply enjoy the moment without having to argue, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t like keeping secrets from his friends, and while he’s determined to respect (name)’s desire for privacy, he just wishes he could show her that her fears are unmotivated, at least regarding Luffy and the others “My friends. They will keep your secret, I promise.”

“It’s nothing personal, Zoro; but I know how much they appreciate my music, and I’m grateful, but…”

“Again, no buts. You know I am with you come what may, but you need friends in your life, (name). I’m sure you will like Luffy and the others, and once they get used to you being a singer they admire, they’ll love you as well.”

Pause.

“Not as much as I love you, of course.”

“Of course.” (name) echoes him, the hint of a smile on her lips; she bites her lip -Zoro groans- and finally smiles - a brave, and at the same time relieved smile, as if she felt better already after making a choice she had agonised over for so long “Alright, then. I’d love to meet Luffy and the others, but please, help me convince them that they can’t tell anyone else; I really want to have a part of my life that is mine and only mine, and that includes friendships and especially what the two of us share.”  

Zoro promises he will, already thrilled. He can’t wait to introduce (name) to his friends, and them to her; she needs people who love and appreciate her, the real her, in her life, and with a bit of luck, she’ll have five soon… provided that the damn cook doesn’t even try to flirt with her. He’ll have to set the record straight with him, Zoro promises himself.

“I can’t wait to meet them.” (name) murmurs; she’s snuggled against Zoro’s chest, the swordsman -her swordsman- holding her by the waist. Zoro smiles; he looks forward to it as well, but for now, all he needs is to enjoy the comforting warmth of his beloved’s body in his embrace.

[copperbadge]

Hello, hello, could you please say more about how you use Microsoft OneNote in your professional life? I need all the help I can get to stay organized & on top of things, so I would love to know.

Sure! I use it less than previous because there's less randomized stuff I need to do now, so I don't need such robust management, but I can talk about how my use began/evolved. I started using OneNote because it was less finicky than Word but still had an autosave function and basic formatting, so it was useful for initial drafts of documents, taking notes on meetings, and keeping track of information I needed at my fingertips frequently.

OneNote's largest "unit" is the Notebook. You can have multiple Notebooks but I've never bothered; still I can see how if your screen was public a lot, you'd want to put some things in a separate Notebook. The Notebook then breaks down into Sections which look like tabs, which I would assign to broad things like "Meeting Notes", "Assignments", "Templates", "Personal" and "Excel Hacks". Sections break down further into "Pages"; each page is a document stuck into place, which you can title so that you can have a list of "pages" on the sidebar and find the one you want easily. Text in Pages can be formatted to some degree, and if you copypaste from websites, it'll tag on the URL of the site you pasted from, although you can also turn that off if you want. You can drag and drop Pages from one Section to another pretty easily.

So, for example, I'd have a "Meeting Notes" Section, and when I clicked the tab for that section I'd have a list of Pages, each of which was notes from a meeting I'd attended. Every time I went into a meeting I just made a new page, gave it a meeting title and date, and took notes on the meeting into the page window. The "Meeting Notes" Section thus became a fully searchable record of meetings I'd attended and what was said. When meeting notes were no longer relevant I'd drag them to an archival Section to retire in peace.

Here's an example of my Excel section:

You can see "My Notebook" up in the left top corner, my current Sections as tabs at the top, and the pages list on the left (I think more modern OneNote skins put the pages on the right, I moved mine back). Each line on the left is a separate "page" that tells me how to do something in Excel, something I need to do a lot but can't commit to memory (or couldn't but now have, it's a trifle out of date). So we're in My Notebook, section Excel, page Formatting Stripes, and on the right you can see how to format an Excel sheet so that it has alternating colored rows (there are other ways to do this but this way the stripes always stay alternating no matter what moves where). In theory I could dump all this stuff into one Page and call it "Excel" and put it somewhere else, but I liked having an easily-visible list so I don't have to scroll a single document to find what I want.

There aren't nearly as many tab/sections as there used to be; "Assignments" covers "all work that is not excel formulas" and includes stuff like instructions for how to pull a query in our database, a list of what everyone does at our company, a yearly guide to our events program, a few other things. I don't have a "Personal" section any more but I do have 2-3 pages in the Assignments section that are personal notes.

There's no inbuilt tagging function but because the entire notebook is searchable, if you're really into tagging you can simply add keywords to the top or bottom of a page.

I have OneNote pinned to my taskbar in Windows, and it's basically always open but it autosaves, so adding stuff is super simple; if I find a bug in our database or a quirk I want to remember I just click over to OneNote and add it to the database file, or similar.

I don't use it on my phone or tablet, because if I'm at work I have access to my laptop generally, but OneNote does sync across devices as long as you're logged in, so if you have OneNote and a Microsoft login you should be able to access it in multiple places.

[hirocimacruiser]

Honda Civic brochure pages.

CIVIC

The Super Civic was a new trend car with economy and dynamic performance suited to the 1980s.

1300 S

1500 SC

It perfectly combines the best fuel economy in the 1500cc class with powerful driving performance.

Resource and energy conservation are common themes around the world. The new CIVIC is available with a new engine system that takes advantage of the excellent combustion efficiency of the lean burn method, which is the greatest advantage of the CVCC engine. It offers not only excellent fuel economy, but also low maintenance costs and a low price.

10 mode driving, Ministry of Transport inspection value

1500CE model E-SR 18 km/l

60km/h constant speed test value

28km/l 1500CE, GF (5 door) Model E/SR, Model E-ST

And yet, it still has the powerful driving feel of a sports car. It's truly a Super Civic.

For example, the new cliff-cut panel in front of the passenger seat provides enough space that there is no need to push the seat back.

An aerodynamic body that provides a smooth ride.

The styling minimizes air resistance and is focused on practical aerodynamics. It is agile in urban areas and stable and smooth on the highway. The new suspension grips the road firmly.

The springs of the front and rear suspensions have been offset to provide a more comfortable ride. The rear also uses a new Honda-style strut system, a world first, to ensure sufficient compliance. The suspension is much tighter.

1300・5-door LX

A new instrument panel.

The functions necessary for driving are concentrated around the driver. The centralized target meter () that places the speedometer and tachometer in one view, as well as the newly designed rotary channel radio, are also standard equipment. The design is easy to see and use.

A large, international-sized interior designed for the world.

Compared to conventional 5-door vehicles, the interior length is 25 mm longer and the interior width is 35 mm wider. Furthermore, the clever use of each space has resulted in an amazingly efficient interior.

All models are fully open hatchbacks.

It is a big opening that opens to the full width of the body from a low position, that is, just above the bumper. Moreover, the interior floor is low and flat. Large and wide objects can be easily loaded. The three-stage variable rear seat is extremely practical. It is a design that prioritizes ease of use.

1500 3door CX

Wild ride. CX

1500 3door CE

CIVIC

1500 5door CF

1300・3-door SE Model E-SL Engine model EJ ●CVCC・1,335cm2・Water-cooled inline 4-cylinder horizontally mounted OHC-68 horsepower ●Fuel economy 22km/ℓ(60km/h・flat road test value)●Front-wheel drive●Overall length 3,760mmOverall width 1,580mm ●Strut-type four-wheel independent suspension●Front-wheel disc brakes ●4-speed

1500, 3-door CE, Model E-SR, Engine model EM CVCC-1.488cm2, water-cooled in-line 4-cylinder, horizontally mounted, OHC-80 horsepower, Fuel economy 28km/ℓ (60km/h, constant speed test value), 18km/ℓ (10 mode running, Ministry of Transport review value), Front-wheel drive, Overall length 3,760mm, Overall width 1,580mm, Strut-type four-wheel independent suspension, Front wheels, Disc brakes with servo, 5-row

*1500-3 door SE is made to order.

If you're looking for a Civic, visit your local Honda dealer.

CIVIC VAN

Gentle on luggage and gentle on people. The capable Civic Van is born.

The luggage compartment is 1,520mm long (with two occupants), 1,270mm wide at its widest point, and 805mm high, making it spacious and easy to handle. Highly refined quality. Powerful and robust dynamic performance. Extremely quiet and safe, this is the birth of a reliable business car that pursues a high level of harmony between passengers and business.

1300-5 door SV, LV model J-VC Engine model EN 1,335cm * Water-cooled inline 4-cylinder horizontal OHC, 70 horsepower ● Fuel economy 18.5km/(60km/h, constant speed test value) ● Front wheel drive ● Overall length 3,995mm, overall width 1,580m, overall height 1,385mm ● Front wheel servo disc brakes ● 4-speed

[deusvervewrites]

Luminary x Friendly Neighborhood Vampire:

Curious: *tries to write an expose on the Toga family after getting a front row seat to Himiko's breakdown because "isn't meta-ability liberation supposed to be our whole thing?"*

Re-Destro: "Yeah... You can't publish this."

Curious: "... What?"

Re-Destro: "Too much negative press for Aldera!" *pats her on the shoulder* "Great job with the prose, though! Maybe try something about how UA lifting its ban on baselines in the Hero Course is reckless and will only get someone killed? That's bound to get people talking!"

Curious: *under her breath* "Or maybe I should practice writing an obituary."

Re-Destro: *completely missing the implied threat* "Oh brilliant! If that boy she stabbed dies in the hospital, he'd make for an excellent martyr! Just have to make sure nobody finds out he was attacked on Aldera's grounds and point out he could've defended himself if he had been allowed to use his Meta Ability! I've gotta make some calls!"

(In other news, I'm so mad Tumblr broke the "chrono" feature, because it makes it SO hard to find the Aldera Squad's names.)

Honestly at this point she kind of deserves it

(Chrono works for me but only when I'm looking at a blog and not the dash view. You know, the opposite of how the link limit works. Because Tumblr is a functional webbed site.

Anyway here are the names)

[itwasrealtome]

BEST BELOVED

CHAPTER FOUR — DAMN RIGHT, I’VE GOT THE BLUES

⚠️ DO NOT READ IF THIS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU

Scarlett Johansson x fem!OC fic | Masterlist

Summary :

Content Warning : Elle listening to some Buddy Guy | New School | Discovering a new place and new people | Carter hates LA and misses Portland

Navigation :

Chapter Three

Chapter Five

Don’t miss any more chapters or info by being tagged

TikTok

•••

LOS ANGELES — CALIFORNIA

DECEMBER 06, 2016

Carter hated Los Angeles. 

From its sweltering heat to its crowded streets and inhabitants. He'd only been there two short weeks and was already missing Portland. Not what he would have liked to call home, or the people who were supposed to be his family, but the city itself. The alleys of Japanese maples, the café where he played his first guitar notes in public and, above all, the weather in favor of a snowy Christmas.

Here, the air was stifling and the sun never seemed to take a break. Even sprawled out in his new bed, the atmosphere seemed to descend on him, crushing his chest. Repainting the walls and assembling the furniture had been an ordeal for him. Unlike his sister, who seemed accustomed to the Californian air, Carter was still wiping the corner of his eyebrow and inhaling every second. 

In the car, the ordeal was the same. But at least he could enjoy the occasional light breeze. He leaned back, his cap hitting the headrest of the seat, his long legs stretched out to the glove compartment. For someone who has money, he thought, it's definitely no luxury.

— Don said it’s a very good school, reminds Elle, taking her eyes off the road for a second. They have excellent results and programs. 

— Yeah, whatever… 

Chewing gum wrapped around his tongue, Carter blew until the bubble burst in his face. Elle flinched at the sound though she tried to hide it. She nudged her brother's shoulder, a heavy sigh covering Buddy Guy's voice.

— I'm doing this for you. 

It was as if the words were floating around in the vehicle without ever reaching their intended target. The dark-haired teenager's face was now glued to the glass, his eyes glued to the immense building looming overhead. It was by no means the same kind of school as the one Aunt Nancy had placed him in. 

The facade alone was impressively large. From their parking place, he could see teachers dressed in a clean and serious manner, but also students who did not seem at all to be petty criminals. Yeah, it was definitely a big change.

— I know it's nothing like the shithole we grew up in, but I think you're going to love it here.

Carter simply shrugged, following the actress blindly, hands clutching his backpack. He relied heavily on his feet to lead him to the right place. The sight of the path through the trees didn't interest him. He wanted to see the branches move with the light breeze and the white chalk of the walls lighten with the sun. If he had to face this view for the rest of the year, then it was nothing like the hell he'd imagined.

— Ah. Ms. Wiley, it's a great honor to have you here in our school. The school principal spent some extra time buttering Elle up, before realizing Carter’s presence. And you, young man, must be Carter.

Carter shook her hand and gave a brief, shy smile. He suddenly felt his cheeks heating up, just as they did when attention was focused on him. Only this time, Elle was right by his side.

— I hear you have an excellent program for athletes. I'm quite interested, can you tell me more about it?

The woman went into her lengthy explanations and began guiding her guests around the establishment. Elle didn't care much for the school's sports program, but she knew Carter did. He trailed behind the two women, his gaze darting all over the place, swallowing each piece of information he was given.

His sister was right. This building was nothing like the one they'd known. The corridors were huge, well-lit and furnished with rows of lockers that still looked new, or at least functional. He was surprised to find that the refectory was clean and free of tags on walls and tables, something to which he'd become accustomed in his old school. Only a few kilometers stood between him and the place he had once known, yet he had the distinct impression of being in another world. 

When both women halted, Carter missed his cue and lightly jostled his sister. He murmured a simple apology, tightening the grip on his backpack straps. Elle quietly patted his shoulder and prompted him to focus on the space in front of them, where one of the school’s gymnasiums stood out. Her knowing smile betrayed her familiarity with her brother's interests. There were only two places to find Carter: the music classroom and the gymnasium, ball in hand.

— Coach Cruz has already studied your profile, Carter. Let me tell you, if you keep up the good work, you'll soon be the team's new star.

The brunet only nodded, too absorbed by the sound of soles on the wooden floor, the whistles and the power of the strikes to find words. Los Angeles may not have been home, but this place could be. 

He could already see himself practicing for hours on end, improving his sets and shots, making this room his reference point. The equipment didn't look as bad as he'd imagined. 

Here, at least, they had equipment.

— I have a couple of matters to settle with Mrs. Hale. stated Elle, her hand massaging the nape of her brother's neck. Why don't you introduce yourself and take a walk? I won't be long.

Before he could react, Principal Hale had already called the coach over to them. Cruz was a man in his fifties, with an athletic bearing and a posture that showed immense respect. His handshake was strong and seemed genuine. And for the first time since he'd been in his sister's company, Carter saw a man more preoccupied with his sport than with the actress' beautiful face.

— Hey son, welcome to the team. Cruz guided him with a hand on his shoulder, his fatherly posture almost reassuring for a young boy like Carter. You're gonna love it here!

•••

Taglist : @micaluvssoccer @rain-mikaelson @red1culous @taylucky13 @womenlovingwomen-imagines @aqiia24 @youdontknowwhotfiamm @mmmmokdok @unexpected-character @iheartmilfies @natalia-quinzel @electricboost @angeliqueh5331 @emskisworld @sami1642 @waltermis @imjai02 @enjoytheentireworld @jatrovyknedl @madamevirgo @lyak12 @anku1901 @ssaaggwwaa @marvelandotheruniversesloveradhd @canvasscoloredin @butwhynothavesomwmore @hi-1-1-blog @g1u2y @fanfiction-24824 @greyslover3004

[weather-phenomenon]

on today's excel shenanigans we have set out to determine the longest consecutive number of days we've listened to a song. we found this neat formula on microsoft from someone who had a similar desire. i cant figure it out exactly as in why the diff functions are used but it works n i've modified it to count rows instead of columns bc thts how my data is

=MAX(FREQUENCY(IF($A2:$U2=1,COLUMN($A2:$U2)),IF($A2:$U2<>1,COLUMN($A2:$U2))))

that one finds the number of times the number repeats consecutively

=IFERROR((LEN(TEXTJOIN("",1,A2:U2))-LEN(SUBSTITUTE(TEXTJOIN("",1,A2:U2),REPT("1",W2),"")))/LEN(REPT("1",W2)),0)

and that ones finds how many reps of the consecutive sequence there are

[sharingknowledgewithmouli]

Counting Rows in Excel: Learn How to Count Text, Numerical, Blank and Data Rows with Functions

Counting Rows in Excel: Learn How to Count Text, Numerical, Blank and Data Rows with Functions

Counting the number of rows in an Excel worksheet is a basic yet crucial task that helps you manage and analyze data effectively. In this tutorial, you will learn how to count different types of rows, including text, numerical, blank and data rows, using various Excel functions. To count text rows in Excel, you can use the COUNTA function, which counts all non-empty cells in a range that contain…

[hollyisanonymous]

sits on da floor... can u share some of the wof thoughts here that u told us earlier? it was good soop and we want to hoard more of them in our brain :]

WOF THOUGHTS YIPPEEEEEE

so here's various tribe biology headcanons for the wings of fire book series <3 my beloved hehe

(just the pyrrhia tribes for now!)

sandwings -

tend to be on the bigger size, built like a canid or a big cat. They have fairly long legs and they walk with their talons spread wide to distribute their weight more evenly on the sand

they often have darker scale patterns along their face, specifically under their eyes. it helps with the glare from the desert sun!

they have heat-pits in the front of their snout like a viper. they also have excellent night vision.

they tuck and curl their tail barbs as a courtesy thing. while an accidental nick wouldn't be immediately lethal for another adult dragon, it's not a fun experience to get stung.

they aren't exceptionally endothermic either; they are able to regulate their own body temperature more than strictly cold-blooded animals, but do struggle more in cold climates.

their bites are slightly venomous.

mudwings -

big guys. wide-stanced and built like a brick shithouse. they're fat and bulky and very very stout.

it's common for them to have tusks! they root around and forage in clay and mud deposits.

the most exothermic of all dragons. they aren't fully cold-blooded, but it is much harder for them to maintain their own body temperatures on their own

they sleep in big piles because of that fyi

they're built like crocodiles, bovines, and bears.

not super articulate digits or mobile forelimbs - they're built for robust sturdiness and that means their stance and gate is not super compatible with fine detail work. this kinda leads into the stereotype that mudwings are dumb - most of them can't write common script easily.

seawings -

fully aquatic at this point. they *can* exist terrestrially, but they are heavily adapted to the ocean.

short and stout, with low-set, streamlined bodies and short limbs.

their teeth are kind of like a seal's, but they have an additional row like sharks

they have the most trouble with rearing up and using their hands for things, since their legs are so short, so they use their tail to compensate (basically just leaning against or sitting on it)

primarily piscivores. sometimes they'll also grab a sea-bird or other small animal from the shore.

baby seawings actually can't breathe above water for the first month or so of their life. their lungs are very frail and cannot handle it.

extremely endothermic. they're like seals!

icewings -

actually fairly closely related to nightwings, but have a lot of similar adaptations as seawings because they're semi-aquatic!

they rattle their spine-rack on their neck as a threat display, but they can also use those thin spikes to make little songs!

eerily similar to nightwings in build. like boil them down and they're basically the same base creature.

actually endothermic - they need to be able to regulate their body temperature in such a way that their organs are able to function fully while maintaining a low enough internal temp that their frost-breath works. it's a very delicate balance, which is why you can drop scalding water or red-hot metal on an icewing's chest and neutralize their breath weapon for a short period of time.

they have very articulate digits on their hands

nightwings -

kinda like icewings but without the cool fun winter theming.

ambush predators, they're built like cats.

wider eyes, excellent night vision, but not particularly "expressive". they also have big, sensitive ears. nightwings are built for nocturnal life enitrely.

rainwings -

big ears and flappy frills - rainwings are very expressive, social creatures.

they're more exothermic. they need to take naps in the sun to feel Well.

infant rainwings struggle with color-changing, often picking specific colors that they linger on. they also don't have as much control over it as an adult

their fangs protrude outwards like a spitting cobra. even when the mouth is closed, it's common for rainwings to have their fangs poke out of their lips

it's a massive compliment to "copy" the colors of someone you love. they do this as a bonding thing, but close friends, family and lovers will often incorporate each other's colors into their resting palette.

all rainwings have their own "default" colors that they're genetically disposed to, but they often also choose some of their own as an adult.

rainwings are very closely related to skywings.

skywings -

often use their wings to walk around and balance on (like pterosaurs)

they are the most endothermic of all of them.

built for long-distance soaring and diving; skywings have huge wingspans, long tails, and strong chest and shoulders to connect their wing muscles.

they have articulate talons and long limbs

they trill and chirp like birds

they have long, feathery ears.

they have fantastic eyesight. arguably the best of all tribes.

[eliteseven]

In which sports would Tav and SH be good? Would they be competitive? And if they played team sports… where would they shine? Or, on the contrary: where would they be terrible?

Oh this is a good one 🤔 Here’s what I think:

For Tav:

Well, Tav’s a natural leader. She would excel at team sports, I think- sports that allow her to strategize and command a group of people carrying out various functions to make something happen as a team.

To fit the NLS setting: Rowing/sailing (her family’s fortune was built upon maritime prowess, after all!), Archery, Riding, and ofc fencing. Woman is damn good with a sword.

Modern day; Could see her excelling in football, basketball, volleyball, weightlifting, etc. classic team captain type.

———————————————————————

For Shadowheart:

She’s definitely more individualistic. She values her autonomy and I think she’s competitive in her own right. Definitely a perfectionist. Not a great team player, at first. I think she would excel at equestrian sports (she loves animals, makes sense she’d adore her mount!). I think she would also probably kick ass at archery/knife throwing, and ofc martial arts. She was a cloister weapon after all.

Modern day: dancing, skating, tennis, and….swimming/diving, oddly enough. (Tav still teaches her 💕). And yoga. She seems the type to enjoy meditative work, too.

I think she would excel at hyper-competitive sports where she can shine individually, showcasing her grace and strength.

[quicktimeeventfull]

Good Boys Deserve Fun 🍒

Lawlight workplace praise kink Not sponsored by Office 365 1k words Read here or on AO3 L decides to show off his remarkable cherry-knotting skills. Light describes his equally remarkable Microsoft Excel skills. Content notes: This is unrepentantly horny but there’s no actual sexual content in it, technically speaking

Light was trying really very hard to ignore what was going on beside him.

He was working. He was trying to work. He was trying to catch the world’s most prolific serial killer, and also incidentally rescue himself from a lifetime of imprisonment while his chainmate, his supervisor, his jailer and the three foremost detectives in the world was busily knotting a large bowl of bright red cherries with his tongue.

Light stared very hard at his Excel spreadsheet. Cells, he decided, were important. Enrapturing. These particular ones were, quite literally, depicting the powers of life and death, and he had never before been so fascinated. He could hear the little plink of L’s cherry seeds hitting the ceramic bowl Watari had brought along with the cherries.

He colour-coded a row, then assigned some conditional formatting.

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Finally, at the end of his rope, he spun around to face L. L looked up, one cheek stuffed.

“What,” Light said, “are you doing?”

L stared at him, wide-eyed and disturbingly innocent. He looked very much like a lemur. As Light watched, he swallowed what Light assumed to be the meat of the fruit, then stuck out his tongue, plucked a knotted stem off of it, and tossed it into his bowl.

Plink.

“Practising,” he said.

Light died several varieties of deaths. “What are you practising for,” he said, flat.

“I’ve been occupied,” L said. “For quite some time. Stuck in here with you. People always say it’s like riding a bicycle. But I’ve never found that to be true. Well. Not with this in particular — I’ve never gone so long without, so I wouldn’t know — but with skills more broadly, you understand.”

For a solid thirty seconds, Light considered telling L that he was in fact Kira after all. He wasn’t, but it would facilitate L putting him out of his misery.

“Okay,” he said, finally. “Well. I’m happy for you. Have fun.”

He spun back around.

“Would Light-kun like to try?” L said, from beside him.

Light turned around again.

“No,” he said. “Light-kun would not. Light-kun is busy doing Ryuzaki-san’s job. Can you please fu—could you please focus.”

L reached into his bowl and plucked out a fresh cherry. “Are you sure? It might not be as difficult as Light-kun thinks.”

“I don’t care if it’s difficult,” Light said. “You’re just being really, really annoying.”

L shook the cherry. It wobbled.

“Go on,” L said. “Give it a shot.”

Light exhaled, heavily. He shut his eyes, and opened them again. “Fine,” he said. “Fine. Whatever. I played clarinet in high school. I’ll tie your stupid cherry.” He held out his hand, but L pulled the cherry away.

“Ah-ah-ah,” he said. “Only good boys deserve fun.”

“What,” said Light.

“Tell me what tricks you’ve preformed,” L said. “Tell me why Light-kun deserves a treat.”

“I — what? I’m sorry?”

L grabbed the edge of the table and pulled his rolling chair forwards. He peered over Light’s shoulder. “Ah,” he purred. “I see Light-kun is using Microsoft Excel.”

“What the fuck,” said Light.

“What has my lovely Light-kun done with Microsoft Excel to earn himself a sweet?”

“I — I added conditional formatting? To the dates of death?”

“Mm,” L said. His voice was low and liquid, coiling dark. He leaned closer. Light could feel the heat of his body, hovering just above his shoulder. “Did Light-kun utilize a formula?”

“It — yes,” he said. His voice came out shaky. “I. Yes. It uses a formula.”

“Which functions does Light-kun’s pretty little formula use?” His voice was right next to Light’s ear. Light could feel the vibrations of it beneath his breaths.

“It uses an equal-to operator and an IF function to reference a table on a separate sheet.” Light said, breathless. Then he shook his head. This was the weirdest and most bewilderingly erotic thing that had ever happened to him. His stomach felt very tight and fluttery.

“Well,” L said. “Then he’s been a very good boy indeed. Open your mouth.”

Light did. L reached over and popped the cherry in between his lips. It was stuck for a moment, smooth and sweet, and then all of a sudden it was there, in his mouth, on his tongue. Light experienced a brief and very disorienting moment of bliss, then entirely forgot what he was doing and swallowed the cherry whole, stem, seed and all.

He looked up. L was staring at him, his black eyes wide. Light couldn’t see his pupils at all.

“Light-kun has a remarkable gag reflex,” L said, calmly.

Light swallowed again. His throat hurt from the stem. “I take a multivitamin,” he said, croakily. “It’s not chewable.”

“Mm.” L stood up. He tugged very lightly on the chain and Light, disoriented and compelled by the circumstances of his being, stood with him. He felt dazed.

L looked back at him, benign, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. “Well, this day has been a bust,” he said, perkily. “I’m going to call it and make us some cheese and crackers. Maybe some tea.” He paused. “Unless …”

He was very, very clearly fishing for a response. Light stared at him. L stared back at him. After a moment, undeterred, L went on. “Unless Light-kun would like to come to our bedroom and help me practise.”

“I,” said Light. “I. I think.” He looked at L, who was watching him, unruffled. “Okay,” he said, weakly. “Okay. Yes. Let’s. If you really need the help.”

L smiled at him. “Light-kun is very generous,” he said. “It’s much appreciated.” Then he coiled the chain once around his wrist, tugged very gently, and headed for the stairs.

Light glanced back at the computers, considered, then decided that he had, in fact, been very good all day. All week. Most of his life, in fact. If the very best detectives in the world said so, who was he to argue? He followed.

[stitchthesewords]

Redstone for Writers Part 2: Redstone Adjacents

Okay! You made it through the basics but you still have some questions - How do minecarts work with redstone? What's a logic gate? How do you keep yourself from getting lost in more complicated redstone machinery? Well good news for you - Part 2 is here! I've tried to split it up into what everything is - minecarts under the Minecarts section, an AND gate under the logic gate section, so on and so forth.

But first- How do we keep from getting lost?

An excellent question! The answer, my dear friends, is wool. Redstoners often make wool farms in survival because its a cheap, reliable, and easy way to get distinct, brightly colored blocks to keep track of multiple lines of redstone, as seen below.

Now, that particular redstone machine is more simple than the monstrosity that, say, the Decked Out 2 bus line is, but I think it gets the idea across. You want to keep your redstone more or less on the same line and I'll be doing my best to do so when I get into some of the more complicated logic gates further on in this resource. Not all redstoners do this, but I find even when you know what you're doing it can be helpful to see at a glance what line goes where.

Minecarts

Lets start this section by talking about the different kind of carts

At the very front here is the standard Minecart. This minecart allows you or another mob entity to ride it. You can drive it forward and backwards very slowly with your movement keys.

Starting from Left to right along the back row is the Furnace Minecart. You can put fuel in this minecart and it will self-propel on tracks forwards and can also push other carts on the track. One piece of Coal or Charcoal allows the minecart to run for 3 minutes. IMPORTANT: The Minecart will run in the direction you are facing when you place the fuel inside. This minecart can also link up with 2 [the wiki says 4 but I tested it and it only ever would pull 2 so. For our purposes, 2] other minecarts and pull them along if done in a very specific way, demonstrated in the gif below.

Your back two minecarts need to be against a wall and you must place the furnace minecart so that it rolls back into them. They will unlink if the minecart goes around a bend so this can only be used in specific situations such as moving villagers or items between a straight point a and b. For this reason, the furnace minecart is more often placed at the back. However, a furnace minecart can only push 1 cart from the back, but it can go around corners because they aren't linked. There also needs to be a gap between the furnace minecart and the minecart it's pushing so the furnace cart can get started before they bump into one another. It can push carts uphill and maintains the same speed up or downhill for the entirety of its runtime.

The next minecart in the line is Chest Minecart. This minecart has the storage of a single chest and can be fed into by hoppers and also feed out into hoppers. The more full a chest minecart is, the less boost it gets from powered rails. An empty chest minecart goes 64 blocks from a powered rail. A full chest minecart only goes 16.

The next minecart is the TNT Minecart. There are several ways to activate the TNT within the minecart:

Activator rail

Destroyed in motion [except in creative mode]

Destroyed by fire, lava, or explosion

Hit with a fire charge [Java only]

Instant Detonation can be caused by:

Falling down more than 3 blocks

Hit by flaming arrow

Runs into a block or entity with velocity

Runs into a block or entity on a curve

it starts with an explosion value of 4 [which is the same as standard TNT] but the game randomly assigns it a bonus value of up to 1.5 times its velocity. The faster its moving, the more it explodes. If it falls, the game divides the distance by 10 in order to determined the bonus value.

The last minecart seen is the Hopper Minecart. This is functionally exactly what it sounds like, with a few important differences. The hopper minecart pulls items in at a rate of 20 items per second, which is 8 times faster than the standard hopper. If the hopper minecart is on an incline when it pulls in items, it goes even faster. It can be locked and unlocked with activator rails, which will be discussed a little bit later. TLDR: A locked hopper cannot pull items, an unlocked hopper can.

There are also two other kinds of minecarts, Spawner Minecart and Command Block Minecart. The command block minecart is obtained using the /give command and the spawner minecart is obtained using the /summon command. The command block minecart is functionally the same as a regular command block within a minecart. The spawner minecart is functionally the same as a spawner within a minecart, with the exception that the mob being spawned must be set during the /summon command or with NBT tags - it cannot be set with Spawn Eggs.

Now for the rails. From left to right we'll start with the Rail. This is just your standard minecart rail and is the cheapest of the 4 to make. They are the only rail that can curve. If hooked up to a redstone signal, you can flip the direction of the curve .

Next up is the Powered Rail. These rails can be powered with a redstone signal which accelerate a minecart travelling over them. Additionally, if the minecart is against a block and the rail is powered, the minecart will accelerate - if you power the rail without the block behind the minecart the minecart wont go anywhere. A powered rail that isn't powered acts as a brake.

Next we have the Detector Rail. It is activated when a minecart is on and and deactivated when there is not a minecart on it. In its activated state it outputs a redstone signal which can be used in other mechanisms. The power level it outputs is 15 unless the detector rail is connected to a comparator, in which case the comparator reads out the fullness of the minecart on top of it. With a tnt, furnace, or regular minecart, the comparator outputs a 0. With a chest or hopper minecart, the comparator reads out the fulness of the container as discussed in Part 1 of this guide.

Lastly is the Activator Rail. This can activate different components when powered, such as TNT or locking hoppers. An activated rail can also eject mobs and players when their cart rolls over it. An activator rail can also trigger command block minecarts. An unactivated activator rail can unlock locked hopper minecarts.

Clocks

There are an endless variety of clock options in Minecraft so I'm only going to go over the most common/easiest ones that I personally use frequently. These pulse a redstone signal for things that need to be fired repeated, say for example a dropper or dispenser.

Our first clock is a form of rapid pulsar clock specifically called a Torch Loop. This is the oldest form of clock in minecraft.

Another very old form of clock in Minecraft is the Repeater Clock. Functionally this works the same as the above clock, but more compact and easy to control. The clock, however, has to be manually started by placing and breaking a redstone torch fast enough. An easy way to do this, seen in the video, is letting a torch burn out on top of a redstone block.

Both of the above clocks can be extended by adding more torches or repeaters but overall, control over their speed is not great. For a more modern approach to rapid pulse clocks, enter the Observer Clock. This is a clock made by two observers facing each other.

All of these clocks, you can pull your redstone pulse from anywhere there is dust or torches on the clock, as long as the redstone further down the line does not output its own signal and feed back into the clock.

Below is a Hopper Clock which is by far the most useful of the modern clock builds in my opinion. The two hoppers, as you can see by the arrows, feed into each other. They can have a variable number of items inside them from 1 to 320 items, and each time a hopper completely empties into another hopper, the comparators pulse causing the pistons to move the redstone block. The redstone block locks whatever hopper it's in front of, meaning that the hopper can't spit out the items contained within it until the other hopper empties out. You can then pick a side to pull a redstone signal from and pulse that signal into your builds. If you need a pulse longer than 320 items for whatever reason, the hopper clock can be linked to another clock.