#Pyschology

[amebanworld]

So, here we are. Finally I’m dropping by to share something I’ve been pondering. I think it's about time to speak about this openly.

You know, I've been a TF fan since my childhood, since I saw G1 Cartoon till now.

But since I'm not a native English speaker and the TF TV series have been aired irregularly at my country, I just haven't be able to follow all series when they were broadcasted. I just wasn’t able to watch all of them. I'm not interested in every single series though, just in some of them. Same happens with comics and movies: seriously I like to think Bayverse just didn’t happen.

So I’ll will tackle the series/comic sI’ve watched/read only, and not every Screamer incarnation.

Let's start…

In 80's (and earlier) cartoons, it was quite common that one of the main characters was bashed by other characters under the premise that "this chara is problematic b/c he thinks different from the others, so he must be punished". As crazy as it sounds, this was encouraged by parents supervising children cartoons’ morality. That's why Eric (from the D&D cartoon) or Rudy (from Fat Albert) were made fun of, and that is what’s happening with G-1!Starscream. Yes, I mean the regular bashing he suffers by almost every other character in the series, and mostly from his leader, Megatron. Also, this was encouraged by the idea of "Hey! They're just aliens robots! We can be harsher with them since it isn’t an average cartoon for kids." And that's how it begun.

Since the G1 cartoon (and its comics counterpart, although the mood is quite different), Screamer has been portrayed as “selfish, a disloyal second-in-command, a coward yadda-yadda", but he also has been portrayed as somebody who endures punisment from almost every other character regularly, and mostly from Meggs, as I said before. This pattern repeats itsel over and over in all TF series, no matter the plot or the setting.

Despite being so popular, most of the fandom think that "he deserves it b/c he's a traitor", or just like it as a slapstick comedy. However, over time, and since certain series and comics have more serious plots, this issue was interpreted under a different perspective by older audiences.

Starscream, no matter the continuity, suffers from PTSD and is victim of abuse.

And I fully agree with that.

Over the years, I've met many fans (female fans mostly, perhaps b/c they usually have this kind of sensibility) who loved the character and felt bad for him because they identified with him on a personal level. I've met veterans too who indentified with Screamer. Both of them just felt really uneasy about how he’s treated in comics and especially in the series. Of course, there’re many fans that just think this is nonsense and don't agree with it. However, invalidating the opinion of these other fans and brush it aside as "nonsense" means to ignore the victims of abuse and their suffering too.

So, what do I mean with "victim of (domestic) abuse"?

First of all, it doens't mean just abuse from your romantic partner, but also from your parents or relatives, from your boss, your classmates, etc. The thing is, all that applies to Screamer. Unlike other characters that just attack him during battles and such, Screamer is punched many times till almost dying by Megatron. He’s also insulted and invalidated. There’s some examples of different continuities below.

The dynamic of abusive relationships is very complex, but in all continuities we can find the same pattern: "The victim tries to flee and does something careless, then he's caught and punished by his insolence". The problem is that the victim is also a traitor and a liar, and certainly he's not a saint. Plus the abuser keeps him around still.

Why?

Summing up, it's a vicious circle. The victim thinks he "deserves" to be punished, but since he wants to be free, he behaves carelessly and paying no heed to loyalty so as to “deserve” that punishment. Meanwhile, the abuser seeks to blame (and punish) the victim from his own faults. Then, when one makes a move, the other behaves accordingly. Meanwhile there’s also calm moments where things “seems” fine. That's why Meggs and Screamer seems to get along "nicely" when nothing happens.

Eventually, the victim copies the abusive behaviour, becoming also an abuser. This is quite obvious in the TFP continuity, where Screamer does the same things to KnockOut.

Of course, the abuser is guilty, but the victim has his own faults. Usually, these people suffer from PTSD and develop a nasty behaviour towards others. They become selfish, demanding, disloyal, etc. This explains why Screamer behaves as such with almost everyone in all continuities. Usually, the victim isn’t aware (or just doesn't want to ) that he's into an abusive relationship (no matter what kind), so he’s just seen as being disloyal, stupid or something like that. Usually, only people who have suffered abuse, or are close to an abuse victim, are aware of this problem, and of how hard it is to break the vicious circle and break free.

Many fans were aware of this problem, and some years ago a bunch of them decided to let know their feelings about SS to Hasbro, so they send the company a long letter, thanks to @tyrantofthefirmament You can read their letter HERE.

And how did Hasbro answered?

I guess they get a lot of letters from the fandom, and that their marketing team will be well aware about the fandom opinions at least now, b/c it's kind of obvious that the later comics and series portrays ideas that were born in the fandom. Anyway their answer to that letter sounded like "We're glad to heard from you. We'll think about it someday. Thanks!"

And that’s whay they did on the later series, it seems.

Let's check it…

*TFP: SS is written so randomly here. First, he's a serious threat; in the second season, he breaks free and joins the Abots or is just on his own (the best part), and finally, in the third season, he joins Dcons again, and Meggs punches him for any random reason. Finally, he dies.

*Armada Trilogy: he's written as a tragic character. He ends up being a hero and dies saving the day on the first season. Later on, he's resurrected as a zombie with no memories. Finally, in the 3rd season, he becomes… what the heck?? He doesn’t seems to be the same character!

*War for Cybertron Trilogy. Well. Here, he's closer to his G1 Incarnation, despite he wasn't a scientist and he was under Jetfire's command till the white jet joins the Abots. The same tropes are repeated, till Blacharacnnia teams up with him and he meets Unicron in a Lovecraft- like scene. Afterwards, the writers got wild and gave him the arc to be an anti-hero, warning everybody, who actually barely believe in him. At least, the writers tried here to give certain credit.

Starry meets Cthulhu... eeer, Unicron.

*IDW comics. Perhaps the most developed incarnation. Here, the problems of abuse and trauma, along his faults in the GreatWar, become an issue that must be solved. He becomes a Cybertron ruler, makes a friend (Metalhawk) then kills him… and later, he regrets it a lot. Bumblebee appears to him as an hallucination and befriends him (his only friend is imaginary). WheelJack has a soft spot for him, but this isn’t enough. Then, Windblae appears, who is oblivius of the Cybertronian war. And well, things happen and he isn't disloyal anymore and learns about his true self. Perhaps this is the only series where his fate is different.

Bee facing Screamer in his own hallucinations...

*EarthSpark. These series tries to mix up G1 with IDW. War is over, the Earthling TF are born and Screamer is jailed in a corrupted human facility, till he manages to break free. At this point, an Earthligh TF, Haghstag, knows about his trauma and helps him. The whole first season deals with Dcons as people with his own lifestory and traumas, and how important redeption is. Starscream fits this plot…

Haghstag and Screamer... and he's smiling.

Till the following seaons where the writers just ignore everything and they come back to the same old plots again and again in a very creepy way.

The thing is, Starscream nor talks about this with others, neither uses it as an excuse for his behaviour towards his companions. That goes against the Decepticons ideals, but also that would make him to look "weak", or he just doesn't want to admit it despite his pain. Dcon's are usuallly portrayed as horrible people, after all.

Anyway, the fact is Hasbro and their writers just don’t dare to tackle a character arc to give him some reliable background or credit. They show some hints here and there of "perhaps he's victim of abuse/he suffers PTSD", and later, they brush him off. This is kind of obvious for every continuity discussed here.

So why? I just don't get it. And that's why I find this is a problem. I just don't want to see the same old story again and again, with a character that is basically a punching bag on one hand and a baddie on the other. (Skybound comics aren't included here since it's an ongoing series by now). If the writers dared to write a redenmption arc for Megatron. Why not for Starscream?

(Special thanks to @sandalwood03, who edited my broken English into something nicer).

[heartshapelocket]

[thecalminside]

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

-Carl Jung

[eyeofwitness]

THE INSANITY OF NORMALITY: TOWARD UNDERSTANDING HUMAN DESTRUCTIVENESS by ARNO GRUEN According to Sigmund Freud, man is born with an innate tendency to destruction and violence; in THE INSANITY OF NORMALITY, the psychoanalyst Arno Gruen challenges that assumption, arguing instead that at the root of evil lies self-hatred, a rage originating in a self-betrayal that begins in childhood, when autonomy is surrendered in exchange for the "love" of those who wield power over us. To share in that subjugating power, we create a false self, an image of ourselves that springs from a powerful and deep-seated sense of fear. Gruen traces this pattern of adaptation and smoldering rebellion through a number of case studies, sociological phenomena - from Nazism to Reaganomics - and literary works. The insanity this attitude produces, unfortunately, goes widely unrecognized precisely because it has become the "realism" that modern society inculcates into its members. Gruen warns, however, that escape from this pattern lies not simply in rebellion, for the rebel remains emotionally tied to the object of his rebellion, but in the development of a personal autonomy. His elegant and far-reaching conclusion is that while autonomy is not easily attained, its absence proves catastrophic to both individual and society. "With compassion and conviction Dr. Gruen carefully exposes the undiagnosed and undisclosed insanity unwittingly accepted as normality... This is a text for leaders and followers, for conformists and rebels alike, for members of the healing professions who seek to repair the destructive fallout from our pursuit of normality and for all who strive for a more compassionate and saner social order."

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Melancholy is sadness that has taken on lightness.

- Italo Calvino

[4spooniesupport]

It's okay to feel burnt out from dealing with your chronic illness. It's exhausting and there are no breaks when it comes to dealing with your health.

[meowz3rzparty]

An updated Wip for the doctor masacrik fanfic ‼️

*You don’t know what happened, you couldn’t remember who you were, where you were, hell you couldn’t even remember your past. You woke up in a hospital, inside a patient room.you were in a hospital gown,nothing else. You were confused and scared. You had no clue what was happening of course you’d be frightened.*

*your whole body hurt as you sat up slowly. You looked down at your legs to see stitches going up your right leg, the area around the stitches being bruised and slightly red. It was so confusing and panic inducing. Eyes wide and aware as you looked around when you felt something on your head. You couldn’t see what it was though, but luckily there was a mirror in sight and you could slightly see into it. Seeing the cat looking ears sown onto the base of your head, also noticing a cat like tail sown onto your lower back.*

*But like I said, you couldn’t remember anything and had no clue if those had always been there on not. The only clue you would’ve had is how the stitches look. However you didn’t know what healed stitches look like, and even if you did I doubt you’d remember.*

“What the fuck..? W-why can’t I remember anything…?” *You stammered out quietly. You were trying to calm down by taking deep breathes except the stress of not being able to remember anything was making you anxious and scared. As you breathed heavily your eyes paced around the room and noted an iv tube inserted into your forearm. As you took notice of it you decided it would be a good idea to try and get it out and go ask someone for help. Your hand reached for the iv tube that was probably being used to give your body medicine, you grabbed it a gently started to mess with it trying to get it out*

“Ah your awake. Stop playing with your iv though..” *you hear a stern voice say suddenly,flinching slightly at the unexpected voice. Eyes darted to look over at the door frame of the room to see a tall figure, you couldnt quite make out who it was because it was quite dark. The ‘figure’ stepped into the room. A tall doctor, with strawberry pink hair that was short and slicked back, teal eyes glaring over at you. His style of clothes was… questionable. A mint teal button up top with a white hospital coat over it with his name tag on, “Doctor Masacrik”. Ah so that’s his name. His shorts were a maroon colour as he had heart covered stocking under them… interesting fashion choice.*

“W-what am I doing here..?! Why cant I remember anything-? Who even are you..!?” *you faltered out as your eyes were glued on this mystery doctor. Doctor masacrik looked down at you in amusement and mockery as you spoke frantically.. *

“Calm down.. Im Doctor masacrik, and your my new experiment, don’t worry though, I won’t hurt you.. yet” *he remarked as he started walking closer to you, you were confused but there was a feeling of comfort you got from him, it felt oddly comforting but stern, like he wouldn’t be afraid to get rid of you if you made the slightest mistake.* “oh, and don’t try and take these off” *he mentioned the ears* “their sown on, they won’t come off no matter how hard you pull or tug..” *his words were menacing.. making you want to cower up..*

“Your name is (users name)..” *he said as he leaned forward and grabbed your chin with his hand, lifting your head up to eye level..* “such a pretty pet.. I’m surprised you survived, you lost quite a lot of blood during surgery..” You looked up at him, confused but you felt a bit more safer now.. for some reason he brought a sense of peacefulnesses to you.*

“(Users Name)..? That’s my name-?” You asked quietly as his hand was on your chin still, his eyes examining you.*

“Yup, that’s your name~ now.. stand up I need to check if your legs still work..” *he said that as if he had done something to your legs, before her took a few steps back from you. It felt confusing but you had no one else at this point so you just listened to him, slowly crawling out of the hospital bed and stood up. You noticed your legs felt numb and were slightly hurting. He crouched down slightly so he could look at your legs closer up. He had made the muscle in your legs weaker so you couldn’t escape from him..*

“Good good, doesn’t look like I made them to weak.. we wouldn’t want you to be completely useless now would we (users name)…~? Does it feel weird or does it hurt…?” *he questioned mockingly as his hands moved up your legs.

“I-i feel weak.. but it doesn’t hurt..” *you trembled out softly as your eyes looked down at him.* “ that’s good.” *he said as he stood up and looked at you before his slender cold hand petted the ears on your head.. you couldn’t really feel it because it wasn’t an original part of your body but I felt comforting to an extent.* “sit back down, I’ll be back in bit..” *he said, his voice suddenly turning more stern and demanding

[kafkasapartment]

Several Circles (Einige Kreise), 1926. Wassily Kandinsky, 1866-1944.. Oil on canvas

[sophieinwonderland]

Sysmeds: "Endos are the flat-Earthers of the plural community!"

Also sysmeds: "Stop quoting the DSM-5 and the ICD-11. And don't trust papers published by the American Psychiatric Association because they'll publish literally anything." *cites papers from the American Psychological Association as an example*

Again, I've made the same mistake before with the two APAs. It is confusing. I get that.

Mostly though, I find it funny how literally every single doctor who has written a paper on endogenic systems is like "we believe this is a real thing" or at least "yeah, this could be a real thing," and sysmeds will run in circles trying to invalidate all of them.

Sysmeds simultaneously cling to this belief that the science is on their side while spending most of their time trying to make up reasons to invalidate that science.

Just recently, we saw one individual falsely accuse Eric Yarbrough of being a transmed to discredit his opinion on endogenic systems shortly after another user tried pulling the ridiculous "only .gov and .edu sources are valid" thing yet again.

And I really have seen that last talking point far too often in syscourse, and it makes me severely concerned for our education system.

[mintiicinnamonii]

Lego Monkie Kid and The Meaning of Being the Chosen One

SPOILERS FOR ALL OF LMK AHEAD. YOUVE BEEN WARNED.

—

Something I don’t see often talked about in LEGO monkey kid is the symbolism in the seasons, especially seasons 3 to 5 and I’m gonna be talking about it because if not, no one’s gonna do it then I’m gonna do it (p.s im using speech to text)

Season 3

Season three’s dilemma is destiny versus choice, which is something that’s gonna appear a lot, I’ve noticed in LMK but season three is when it starts really popping off and you know why. lady bone demon. she’s a really villain she does all these things. like she killed spider queen almost destroyed the world when she said she would protect it and a whole bunch of other things and her excuse was that destiny told her to because she as inferior and not best potential to people like the shittiest known to man like what do you mean that you’re literally literally destroyed the entire world this is not saving people. people are dying- What do you mean?? which is a very valid point. but to LBD, she thinks that what the world’s going through right now or what it was going through at the time, was worse. because she doesn’t think she’s a bad person or maybe she does but she’s doing this for a selfless reason. she thinks she’s saving everybody. This isn’t some façade that she’s convincing herself that she’s a good person and well she secretly knows that she generally person because unlike Demon she actively seeking violence she does this in a meticulous sort of way that makes it like she doesn’t want to kill anybody necessary, like spider queen of course she still a villain and she did bad things, but her reason was virtuous. Sorta like if that makes sense. How does this go back to MK and the theme of the season? well throughout the last three seasons, it’s made apparent that MK has this destiny to be the monkey kid, sort of like one plus one in LMK. In the seasons that LBD’s in, she has the ability to drill it MK‘s brain that

this is your destiny you can’t escape it

and secondly, and most importantly,

this isn’t as great as you thought it was.

Now, if the first points that you can’t escape this, Destiny is the monkey kid was just sent by itself and would be OK with that because ‘cool. I can be a superhero and save people like monkey king did’. but over the time they’re running away from lady bone demon after she takes the staff, he not only realizes that one he’s powerless which is a good example to help his true power and first character they also come face-to-face with other phones that genuinely did bad things to for example Ao Guang. like.. he sees people genuinely hate the monkey king and they’re good people. They don’t like the demon bulking they don’t attack they just live our lives and that’s what I said it in for MK that maybe them being the monkey kid isn’t actually that great because he chose to pick up the staff but if you sat into context later on and season four and five especially question a choice to get the staff or was it just destiny?

Lady Bone Demon is a great antagonist because she sets up this question. and it hits MK hard. I think the fact that LMK is a kid show really helps with the narrative because MK has a glorified image of Wukong, thinking that he is a good person and will Kong is a good person. He just wanted to protect the ones he loves but he makes mistakes everyone makes mistakes and I’ll probably talk about another possibly sees all these. They were all wronged by Wukong. DBK was sealed in a mountain, away from his wife and son for thousands of years. Spider Queen from what we can tell she was just a normal queen. She was just a normal queen. She was just mad and her own business and that said we took that away from her. He was abandoned and left by his boyfriend- I MEAN BEST FRIEND. Wukong had all these people and he betrayed their trust ironically, so he could protect them which is a thing that LMK does great, which is dramatic irony. The fact that MK’s friends are reincarnations of Wukong‘s friends is an example of this because if MK goes down the path that will Wukong once went like he wants, he’s gonna have to face the consequences, which is why Shadow Play from season two is one of the best episodes in the season, or at least my favorite. So when it comes down to the final fight and he beats the Lady Bone Demon. sure he won, yelling out that he can choose his own story. Hooray. but still sticks no matter what they do no matter how hard MK tries. based on what he seen from all the villains he’s fought and what he’s seen… maybe being the monkey kid is just some undeniable fate that is actually so great after all.

Season 4

Season four is where MK comes to terms with what being the monkey kid really means. At this point, he’s made it his identity. Hell his nickname the letters are MK short for monkey kid. His real name is Qi Xiaotian, we all know this. He could’ve chosen any other nickname like Xiao. But he chose MK. chose he specifically chose MK two letters that have nothing to do with his actual name like most nicknames. Rather, its a tie into how hes the monkey kid. when he talks about wanting things to go back to normal sure he talks about delivering noodles for piggies and hanging out with his friends, but he mentions fighting bad guys as the monkey kid that’s become a part of his normal. That’s his life now that’s how he wants the world to be because he’s ingrained into his identity; that he’s the monkey kid. When he discovers, he’s actually a stone monkey, was like a slap in the face to him, I imagine. In media, superheroes are described of these just one off of adventures with no actual story or deep meaning behind them even after Stan Lee and his revolution and humanizing superheroes. MK doubles in these meetings a lot especially ones with the monkey king in them. So when he became the monkey kid, he’s like sweet. I got to be little superheroes, but he did not know the pressure and how insane this would be I dare more important than Wukong now. He wanted to be the main character, but he didn’t realize how horrible it could actually be. And to find out he’s not human, make them have the realization that this isn’t just fun adventures anymore. This isn’t a kid show. This is real and not in the way he wanted it to be. He’s too deep now he can’t go back. He can never go back to how things once were now he starting to question is destiny actually not like a stone monkey he starts to think about how and why he got staff what was all this for? He was trying to deny destiny for two seasons for crying out loud. But now he’s face-to-face with it and he can’t escape it. He mirrors Azure Lion in the sense that they both want to be saviors. they both want to protect those. They love and both of them think they’re saviors but one of them isnt. When Macaque shows MK Azure’s utopia, I believe MK was standing there in that desert where capless of people suffered for this one person to believe that they’re saving people he was standing there thinking.. is this what I’m doing? This the path I chose? and he can’t go back I said before, so he basically become what he thought he wouldn’t or was trying to escape from. The real villain is himself. And that is why Azure is a great foil for MK. They’re stuck in the same narrative. They have a choice to make one that involves them, sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the world. and if you see season five, the realization hurts even more.

Season 5

season five doves in the theme of chaos versus order, kinda like splatoon two’s final fest (I’m sorry I had a splatoon reference). the nine headed Demon, who I’ll will be calling NHD for for this essay is it being made of pure chaos (mecore). do all of this MK has caused so much pain and agony to other people and especially himself. (he’s canonically proven to have a trauma bottling response cmon thats depressing) In season four, in the span of around a few days, he had to grapple with:

his actual role as a monkey kid

his identity

what he’s doing to other people because of this

In the memory school, he was referred to as a harbinger of chaos which I think is actually a very well-deserved title without him sure dimmable king would’ve been free, but the world would not have almost have ended two times; and he put his friends a lot too. Pigsy and Tang are just going to parent stress maximum level I seen in season five when they were abandoned the desert. Mei has developed crippling inferiority issues, maybe even an inferiority complex, or at the very least made her inferiority complex worse but she’s also had her betrayed and the whole samadhi fire incident. MK.. Desperately wants to go back to normal. there’s a decently sized timeskip between season four and season five so he’s taking the time to process all of these things or clearly but he does it because he’s MK and he doesn’t want to process it because trauma. And he tried to ignore all of it because he wants things go back to how they were; simpler times. Is another instance of dramatic irony, due to the whole reincarnation shit, as well as his arc. Pretty much he’s trying to keep things in order so when he gets the stones, this is his final shot. Well, his second to last shot because the ending of season five suggested there may be a season six or even a movie. (I really hope it’s the movie option.) this is finally the chance for him to fix everything and for everything to go back to normal just one final big adventure you can go back to fighting random bad guys with no plot relevance, delivering noodles, hanging out with his friends and bottling up his emotions.

but during the sequence with the 100 eyed demon, he comes face-to-face with all of these oppressed memories that he is shoved away for his “trauma bottling response.” God give this man some therapy. And then the lady bone demon vision tells him to basically kill himself to save the people he loves. Which firstly someone who suffered with those things.. girly don’t do that. Secondly this is amazing storytelling because this season all season before this he’s wanted to keep things in order, back to normal. And he doesn’t know how he just keeps pleading to the universe, which frankly doesn’t give a crap for things to go back to normal. But then when he zoo all of these old bottled traumas, he’s given the answer. Well, I mean a answer. not a good one, but an answer. He’s so desperate at this point, but he just goes along with it. I believe, and I’m totally not just projecting onto this monkey man, that when he sacrificed himself… Part of him actually wanted to die. Because he thinks he’s the cause of everyone’s misery. And not only does he want to you know commit die to save the ones he loves but also because he hates himself for causing them trouble, and all that self-loathing stuff that I’ve been through (dear God help me). he wants to maintain the chaos and he believes the chaos is himself heroes are supposed to defeat the villains but MK sees himself as a villain. So to him, he has to defeat himself. order must be restored, even if that means he must be destroyed. I swear MK’s character arc is just become a depression allegory because he bottles his trauma. He literally offed himself. He sees himself as a monster. (Also is very off topic, but when you go back to season one episode two during the weather station when Wukong said “you could be more powerful like me, but you won’t be invincible anymore. You can die. You can get hurt.” MK was like “okay”. Girl. Bestie. NO. People wouldn’t be that chill to just saying “oh by the way you have the ability to die.” doesn’t scream depression allegory, I’m just projecting. NHD gives him the opportunity to give him a choice and actual choice to embrace the chaos, to set him free. Everyone else free NHD is a great villain not only because I gender envy him immensely but also because he’s a great representation of MK in return bone demon represented MK’s traumas, Azure was more of a foil. NHD Represents his internal conflicts. because despite MK’s crazy, possibly ADHD mentality he wants order. He wants his friends to be safe. And he’ll do anything, even step into chaos itself, to get it.

—

Thank you guys SO MUCH if you’ve read this far. I’ve always wanted to do something like this, and I’m so happy you found this ramble and read it to the end. I might do more like these, possibly talking about MK’s Depression (because he has a LOT.) and maybe even cover ROTTMNT.

Thank you again, and stay tuned.

[huskerdiebartender]

I find it interesting how my comfort shows go from bluey,gravity falls and adventure time to hazbin hotel and the boys.

What does that say about me mentally

[selenepluto]

[deprixpainsblog]

[thecalminside]

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

-Rumi

[rreskk]

TREVOR PHILIPS EXTENDED ANALYSIS

Trevor Philips…

Drug dealer, “international CEO”, son, brother, friend.

TW: -Self harm -Implied drug use -Childhood abuse

I’ve made a longer analysis of Trevor as a character (THIS ISN’T A FANFICTION). 

ENJOY!

Growing up in the Canadian region border of America, it has been portrayed that he has a complicated history surrounding family and mental illness. While it isn’t exactly proven (unless Trevor stated himself), his childhood had been the possible causes of his later behaviour and long-term issues. As for now, we see it as psychopathy, or as wiki would say “Intermittent Explosive Disorder” (impulsive behaviour and explosive temper that could lead to physical aggression). Others would argue that he suffers from borderline personality disorder, considering his struggle to contain stable relationships and is seen experiencing the main symptoms of what a person of BPD can have.

His childhood consisted of instability, financial stress, emotional damage, and physical abuse. Trevor mentioned his mothers constant absence to Lamar and Franklin during a friendly hangout. -“She came back, she left again, came back, left again…” The repeated cycle of his mother leaving, whether this was earlier or later in his teens, it would show the great affect it had on him, personally. Trevor made it clear about his abandonment issues during the storyline and dialogue. His whole idea of finding Michael was to fulfil the years of being abandoned and alone. Having experienced this instability for his childhood had took a toll on his emotional availability. The cravenness of reassurance, respect, presence, or just staying with him. However, his anger issues would make it harder for him to keep people around.

Trevor has also stated his anger management being poor since the beginning of his time. After having a conversation with Jimmy De Santa, he was asked when he knew what he wanted in life. It’s safe to say he had this psychotic mindset since birth, theoretically the result of his mother’s drug addict and poor lifestyle. -“I was pulling the legs off spiders, and I wanted more. I wanted to kill all the way up to the food chain until I hit top, the human being.” However, when being antagonised about this behaviour, he swiftly blames it on his childhood as Amanda would say: -“God, he is such a turd! That wounded childhood bullshit – we all had had shitty childhoods, you balding lump!” This same coping mechanism from Trevor is seen when being asked about his mother. We all know he has been through some verbal/emotional abuse as for his fear of talking about her. Trevor has never said anything negative about his mother despite complaining about his childhood… If someone dares speak her name, he’ll throw a fit, a rageful rant about respecting his mother, almost protecting the fact that she may be the reason for his tormented soul. The “Mrs Philips” mission towards the end of the game, we can see the emotional abuse he receives without doing anything wrong to deserve her bitterness. The constant insults and belittlement, Betty even demands Trevor to seek her medication and would not let him inside the trailer until it was finished. If this is bad enough during his adulthood, we can’t even imagine the mess he had to deal with during childhood. Nevertheless, his mother issues has inserted a particular taste in women throughout the years. -“Old women are to be cherished!” He'd say during a strangers and freaks mission. His calm behaviour towards Patricia and any lady in general would suggest his utter respect (or secret fear). He craves female attention and a maternal dependence. If we look at this closely, we may understand how the lack of maternal attachment between the first few years of his life (0-5 years) would influence his later decision to grow attachments to the wrong people, and the wrong things. (This is called attachment theory- psychological theory). Trevor’s mother may have missed most of his early childhood for financial gain (her stripping, prostitution, etc), and therefore left Trevor with whoever she had at home, his brother and some of his step-dads. Occasionally he was left alone.

Moving on to his difficult relationship with fathers in general, we can understand that the physical abuse he gets from the men in his past would influence his behaviour to men in the future and present. Trevor had grew up being physically abused and dominated, almost tricking his mind into exacting himself into the repeated cycle, turning into the abuse he got and aims the intensions to weaker men (Ron, Floyd, Wade) to fill in that insecurities he got from his biological and step-fathers. Although a father figure isn’t as important to a maternal figure, it did affect his perspectives and made his anger issues worse, especially (I can’t exactly remember the source) when Trevor’s biological father abandoned him in a shopping mall (that he later burnt down in retaliation). Being let down by many older figures had made him dependent on people in the future, people who have a stand in power with Trevor, someone who is able to balance and handle his anger (Michael and Franklin).

It has also been stated that his brother, Ryan, had died of unnatural causes. Elements of Trevor’s words would convince us that he had something to do with it considering they hadn’t of gotten along well enough… To live. However, there is not much information surrounding his brother during this time.

His education is flawed (dropping out before graduating) and being expelled due to the aggressive nature. Trevor had moved all over Canada and had been switched between care homes, trailers, schools, prisons all throughout growing up. However, he has surprising gains in mathematics and can workout sums within a second, and with full accuracy. Trevor is able to process mathematical problems fast, as Wade would say: -“He’s very good with numbers.” Furthermore, the lack of grammar and overall English makes him improvise during speeches and messages. Trevor always speaks metaphorically, he hyperbolises a lot, uses imaginative scenarios to engage the people around him. (Sometimes manipulating – extremely, to get his point across… even if it doesn’t make sense).

“I was a drifter up by the border, wandering from truck stop to truck stop, recently out of the military… Huffing gas, fucking people over, killing, eating, whatever.” Trevor’s discharge from the military was caused by the detached and restrained relationship with his mother. Psychologically, maternal dependence and relationships determines someone’s emotional strengths and depth… Trevor mentioned during an online heist that the therapist who was determining his worth would constantly try and talk about his mother, resulting in an episode which… Eventually led to his discharge (thanks to his anger issues). His dreams to fly planes would crush and Trevor would be left drifting around the Midwest, utterly defused and emotionally damaged. That’s until he meets Michael, and then Brad.

2004, the prologue. We can consider Trevor’s experience to be titled as “survivors guilt”. His loyalty and partnership with both Michael and Brad was cut off after they both unexpectedly got shot. Trevor lived with the guilt of seeing his best friends die, thinking he could of done something… But Michael had obviously told him to save himself, resulting in the 9 years of isolation and depression. He was unknown of Michael’s plan to escape the criminal aspects, feasting the money for himself, the money Trevor couldn’t access as his identity was blown. Imagining that Trevor had to shave his hair and beard just to pass the radar of his North Yankton wanted posters, he had to skip towns without money, and impressively invested a meth business, earning a good load to make him… Well, wealthy. His mother had been absent for years after being imprisoned (as it was mentioned through story-mode), leaving Trevor to be living in Sandy Shores with a successful rising drug business, but with the shame of his past abandonment and lawful struggles to keep his morality clean… Obviously his modesty being destroyed by the abuse of drugs and alcohol (his damaging coping mechanisms).

Unsuspecting Michael being alive, it was a total shock for him to see the news, a potential copycat… Yet Trevor knew. Trevor’s intuition was strong, always have been strong. Throughout the gameplay, Trevor has odd intelligence and senses. He can tell when something doesn’t fit and he’ll suddenly click. He can understand situations faster than most people. He caught eyes with Davey and he knew him. He first saw Michael after 9 years and knew he was lying. After some convincing… Michael’s denials had led Trevor to realise that Brad’s imprisonment was also a lie. It seems that although Trevor takes on the worse from his experiences, he also earns himself the skill to predict and understand unfolding events. He can attack and approach situations, while impulsively, but effectively.

Further notes: Trevor’s coping mechanisms would include niche drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, aggression, self-harm, and isolation. He finds himself deeply attached to women in general, often exploiting himself by seeing many prostitutes and masturbating to pornography daily. This would be the result of his mother’s absence and abuse… Nevertheless, he engulfs in self-harm (hitting his head, biting, scratching, etc) as a way to defuse his self-hatred (as he always saw himself as the problem… Thanks to his childhood again). His suicidal tendencies is pretty obvious throughout the gameplay.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

A poet is a nightingale who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley