#Princess Wildebeest

[jokingluna]

Woo! It is hard to believe that we've managed to keep this silly thing going for 8 whole years! We've told over 2900 jokes in that time, mostly without repeating! (I sometimes find that I have told a joke twice when shuffling through my archive)

I have to admit that it is getting harder and harder to find original jokes that follow my guidelines about being used here. I'll try to keep going as long as you people like and reblog! Having come this far, it's not unthinkable of reaching the 10th anniversary, and end up going longer than the show upon which it's based!

Anyway, many many thanks to all of you! Keep laughing!

[synthient]

everyone go download that thing before disney yoinks it

[artist-issues]

Mufasa Re-Do: Sarabi

So! I thought that the good thing about Sarabi in the new movie was:

She is characterized as not believing anyone can help her, and not believing anybody will accept help from herself. She has to learn to ask for help and risk helping others.

She sees what’s special about Mufasa and clues him into it—he’s the one she learns trust from, and she’s the one who kickstarts his confidence.

But! The characterizations were incomplete. Like I said in the Zazu post: for “romantic tension” and “Grrrl Power” she is introduced in a scene where she bizarrely trusts and accepts help from Zazu. A 1lb-bird. Even though her whole characterization is supposed to be “other animals can’t help me” and “I can do everything myself.”

So that’s Problem 1. Problems 2 and 3 that were going to solve are:

2. Sarabi Feels Out-of-Place in the Conflict - Sarabi seems to have no real reason to be in the movie aside from being the love interest of Taka and Mufasa. She got her pride scattered by the bad guys, but that never really matters later. She, Taka, and Mufasa never even have conversations where they bond over shared loss, and she has no interactions with the villain until the final battle.

3. Sarabi Isn’t Believable As Taka’s Motivation - If Sarabi is going to be the reason Taka turns bitter, feels a chip on his shoulder for the rest of his life, and ultimately believes Mufasa not only stole his girlfriend, but his “WHOLE DESTINY”…then Sarabi needs to actually be connected to his “destiny.” And we need to know why Taka even likes her.

So! Let’s kill two birds with one stone. Now, Sarabi has a Reputation. And, the way she is introduced gives us more background on her, plus more show-not-tell time with our villain. Let me show you:

Sarabi, the Sunset Princess

Sarabi is known in the “Valley of Kings.” Her name gets passed around because she’s an exemplary huntress as well as royalty. She’s also stunningly beautiful, you know, by lion standards. She’s like the complete package. And she knows it. Her “I don’t need anybody’s help” vibe comes from that confidence, that “I’m at the top of the food chain, I’m the greatest huntress in this valley, and nobody needs to give me anything.”

But! The thing that makes Sarabi attractive to both Taka and our Villain is just that—she’d make an excellent trophy. That’s what Taka really wants. He has just lost his own kingdom and heritage—when he meets Sarabi, having her on his arm would gain him the respect of any new would-be subjects.

Of course, he can also believe she’s beautiful and be attracted to her, too. It doesn’t have to be all-shallow. But, remember, Taka is genuinely all about himself. He eventually turns into Scar, a character who only sees the world through a lens of “How Does This Orbit Around Me, and How I Want to Be Seen?”

So he would never just be interested in Sarabi because she breathes and is a pretty lioness. He would be interested because who else would perfectly match the Magnificent Prince Taka? He wants to be “seen for the wonder” he is. He wants Sarabi, The Sunset Princess, to be the first one to do that.

And he’s not the only one!

How Sarabi is Introduced:

After our villain is alluded to (more on that in the Villain Post) by a refugee-herd of wildebeest, we follow their trail back to the land they’re fleeing. It’s Sarabi’s father’s territory.

Our villain is seen laying on top of the carcass of an entire elephant, while already chewing the leg of a zebra. He’s surrounded by his gang of hungry-looking lionesses who are noticeably not eating. They’re all standing on guard over the members of Sarabi’s pride—who have been defeated. Our Villain is gloating to these unfortunate lions about how everything in their land already belonged to him—they just didn’t know it until now. Just like how all of the Savannah belongs to lions, and every animal will learn it sooner or later. He’s telling them they still have a choice: join him or join the pile of bones he leaves behind.

Enter Sarabi! She’s hauled forward by the Villain’s lackeys, a bristling ball of fury. The bad guy can say some overdramaric, kind of creepy line, like, “Finally, I get to meet the famous Sarabi! I hear you’re called the Sunset Princess. Tell me, is that because you really can time a kill just as the sun is going down…or is it because of the color of those eyes?”

She just snarls. He just recently killed her father in an unfair fight, and he’s clearly over-hunting the territory he’s stolen. He moves on to mentioning all the things I said above—how she should be at his side, because of how great and powerful he is, and how it would actually be better for the lions he conquers, because they’d follow her without resistance. It’s setting up the power that would come with being Sarabi’s King, which foreshadows Taka’s disappointment when she doesn’t choose him.

Sarabi, of course, refuses and escapes—she almost doesn’t, but her pride sisters slow her pursuers down, and Zazu flaps in out of nowhere claiming to be her escort sent from her father.

Then when Zazu’s loud mouth attracts hungry refugees Taka and Mufasa, Sarabi has a reason to be prickly. She’s feeling weirdly guilty that her father and her pride sisters gave her her best chance to escape—and she’s covering that up with resentment toward them “they didn’t need to help me, I can take care of myself.” And she’s taking a lot of that out on Zazu, who won’t leave her alone or stop reminding her that her late father’s last decree was for a little hornbill to warn her about the Villain.

Taka sees how pretty Sarabi is and pounces on Zazu immediately, kind of to make an entrance. Zazu insists he can’t be eaten—Sarabi tells him to shut up, but he’s not listening to her—because what kind of ruffian would dare eat the Escort of the Sunset Princess?

Taka is immediately impressed, because he’s heard of the Sunset Princess. So that further solidifies and sets up why he likes her. From there, Sarabi does decide to travel with them…but only because Rafiki shows up and outlines a land where they can seek shelter from the Villain under the rule of the Great Kings.

Sarabi & Taka

Sarabi initially seems warmer toward Taka than she does Mufasa. This is because Taka flatters her reputation right off the bat—he says, “this is THE Sunset Princess!” And offers charming sympathy for the loss of her kingdom, since he just lost his own, too.

That’s contrasted with Mufasa, who’s like, “what’s a Sunset Princess?” And Taka scoffs at him and rolls his eyes and says, “you must forgive my brother, he’s not of royal blood like us, he doesn’t keep up with the heights of the food chain.” And he rattles off how Sarabi is the most feared Huntress in the Valley of Kings, making Sunset a time of terror for all the herds.

Mufasa acts a little amused—he’s a humble guy, he’s always sort of shrugged off pomp and ceremony whenever Taka waxes on about it—and Sarabi takes this the wrong way and immediately demonstrated her skill by tracking nearby prey. This turns out to be Rafiki, kind of like in the Movie We Got, which is how he’s introduced. But suffice to say, Sarabi and Taka get off on the right foot.

When Zazu tries to “defend” Sarabi from danger and winds up leading the Villains right to them, Taka kind of helps heap the blame on the little bird, and is indirectly the reason Sarabi shouts at and has a falling out with Zazu. Then Taka makes pretense to comfort her after their narrow escape, while Mufasa tries to understand how to make peace between her and the bird by talking to Rafiki. So it seems like Taka and Sarabi are actually closer at the beginning of this remake.

However, it becomes increasingly clear, as Sarabi learns what a Great King is like, that Taka doesn’t exemplify those traits. While they bond initially over their shared annoyance toward Zazu and shared pride, the turning point comes when Mufasa saves her from the elephant stampede (like in the Movie We Got.)

Sarabi & Mufasa

And he saves her by listening to Zazu, even after Zazu’s big mistake, then getting the elephants to divert their path. Even though Sarabi caused the stampede by believing no elephant would ever help a lion.

So that’s a big gut-check for Sarabi’s way of thinking, and she does owe Mufasa. From there, she definitely does begin admiring Mufasa for the traits she sees lining up between him and the Great Kings.

I’ll add more to this later—when I talk about how I’d re-do the climax!

[dansnotavampire]

hello melacles nation :] i have another fic.

a madness entirely your own.

You have no confessions to make. No sins to admit, no apologies to give, no absolution to beg for. Would anyone absolve an axe for felling a tree? Would a chisel need absolution for marking stone? No. 

One would, maybe, absolve the hand that held it. But no hand had held you in millenia or more; perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the lion begs no forgiveness from the wildebeest. It merely eats and eats and eats, and then rotten bones feed the soil. 

So you, monster, man, somewhere in between, do not beg forgiveness from your false mother, and you do not seek absolution for your dead sons, and you leave corpses strewn in your wake across Ephyra. Something will nurture the soil, one day. However long it may be until that day comes.

Part of you prays you won’t live to see it. You're tired, aren’t you? Don't you want to rest? Every day is the same bloodied haze, every night spent under the same sleepless moon, monotony piling upon monotony until every monster in Ephyra is torn asunder, and finally your restless hands can still around something other than a throat. You do not crave violence; you crave nothing else, either. Perhaps that is the most literal phrasing of your desires - you crave nothing, the sweet blanket of oblivion that comes at the end of all mortal’s lives. 

If only you were so lucky; you had long since forgotten how to die. 

Glory calls you to the city, though, to the endless trap of it, the walls and the rubble and the long-walking corpses. Wasn’t that the choice you had made, many years ago? A life of glory, a life of hardship? 

You don't regret it. There is no room in you for regrets. The only space in your heart is quickly filled with toil, then with pain, then with toil again. An endless cycle. You work until you drop, and then you work some more, and one day you will gain enough godly favour to quiet your endless quest for praise, to stop Hera’s mouth, to finally lay your head down and quiet your stubborn mind. It is a simple life, for all your deeds. It is not a good one. 

The princess arrives in a flurry of knives and dancing footsteps. You know her - know of her. Melinoë. Daughter of the House of Hades. Saffron-robed and corn-silk blonde, arrogant and vengeful and proud as sin under the full moon’s light. Everything you had once been, no? Promised glory, full of power, brimming with promise even under the weight of expectation. It hadn’t lasted. 

You hadn’t lasted. The young man Heracles would look upon your now-immortal self with nothing more than shameful disdain. How tragic. How expected. 

You almost feel sorry for the princess, knowing her fate as surely as your own. Bones and dust, blood and sweat.

She should not be here, though, with her curse and her blood and her life ticking away with every breath she fails to take up here. You watch, impassively, as she chokes her final breath and disappears to - to wherever witches come from. She had been so alive. Nothing stays that way in Ephyra. 

[localebra]

Gaston Verse

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - The Prince's Huntsman

Pinocchio - Heroic Puppet

Dumbo - Circus Strong Man

Bambi - Hunter

Cinderella - Unwanted Focus Of The Step Sisters Affection

Alice in Wonderland - Knave Of Hearts

Peter Pan - Mutineer Pirate

Sleeping Beauty - A The Fail Rescuer

One Hundred and One Dalmatians - German Shepherd

The Jungle Book - Baboon

The Aristocats - Allie Cat With An Open Bar

Robin Hood - Bear Wanting To Be A Part Of The Gang

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh - Loin

The Rescuers - Hunter

The Great Mouse Detective - Rat Owner Of The Rat Trap Pub

The Little Mermaid - Merman Suiter Of Aerial

Aladdin - Guard

The Lion King - Wildebeest

Pocahontas - Coloniser

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Ex Priest Bar Owner

Hercules - Triton

Mulan - Soldier

Tarzan - Gorilla

The Emperor's New Groove - Anti-Kuzco Bar Owner

Atlantis: The Lost Empire - Ex Lyle Tiberius Rourke Trooper

Lilo & Stitch - Ace Experiment 262

Treasure Planet - Sailor Bar Owner

The Princess and the Frog - Magic Hunter

Tangled - Member Of The Royal Guard

Wreck-It Ralph - Tubo RPG Barbarian

Frozen - One Of Han's Brothers

Big Hero 6 - Got In On A Sports Scholarship & Got Lefou To Build Mechanic Gloves To Become Gastro

Zootopia - Deer

Encanto - Jealous Bar Owner

Toy Story - Fantasy Action Figure

A Bug's Life - Bar Fly

Monsters Inc. - Red Beastly Monster & Top Scarer At Fear Co.

Finding Nemo - Shark

The Incredibles - Bravado The Hero

Cars - Jeep

Ratatouille - Rat In Bar Cellar

WALL-E - Loader Bot

Up - Fictional Adventurer

Brave - The Castles Huntsman

Inside Out - Courage

The Good Dinosaur - Triceratops

Coco - Dead War Hero

Onward - Chimera Restaurant Owner

Luca - Human Sailor & Sea Serpent Slayer

Elemental - Fire

Nightmare Before Christmas - Hyde

Star Wars - Rebellion Squad Leader

[stephobrien]

My first-ever illustration job! Meet Princess Wildebeest.

I recently had the pleasure of illustrating a new children's book!

Princess Wildebeest is a fanciful glimpse into the life of a playful, intelligent and energetic young girl, and a mother's celebration of her daughter's courage and resilience in the face of learning disabilities and childhood fears.

I really enjoyed being part of this project, and I look forward to illustrating future books about Princess Wildebeest.

If you want to read the book and see the rest of the illustrations, you can get your copy of Princess Wildebeest here!

And if you want me to illustrate your book or create any other art for you, you can see my art commissions pricing and rules here.

[empyrealarc]

"I feel like, out of all the X-Men who canonically fuck, Wolverine is the only one I wouldn't fuck. I'd be pulling hairs out of my buttcrack for weeks. Maybe months!"

[spanishskulduggery]

I realized I've never done the "D as in dog" clarification in spanish before, and last night my brain opted for "D como daño", which probably says something about me... Anyways, do you know what these are called, and what the "standard" ones are in spanish?

So I don't think there's a standard one in Spanish. There are multiple answers you could give, but many use proper names or names of cities.

As far as I know this is called el alfabeto por palabras "alphabet by words" or el abecedario telefónico "telephone alphabet"; and it's different in different places

Even in English I hear different ones, except I usually hear "B as in boy", "V as in Victor", "Z as in Zebra", "M as in Mary", "N as in Nancy", etc etc I know that's not in order, don't at me but for the other words it's kind of up in the air

-

Ones that I've heard or seen - often based on cities or countries!

(PLEASE KNOW THIS IS NOT STANDARDIZED I DON'T THINK A STANDARD VERSION EXISTS IN SPANISH?)

A de Alicante / A de Antonio / A de Argentina / A de Alemania [Germany]

Be de Barcelona

C de Colombia / C de Cádiz

D de Dinamarca [Denmark]

E de España [Spain]

F de Francia [France]

G de Guatemala / G de Granada

H de Historia [history] / H de Hada [fairy] / H de Hambre [hunger]

I de India / I de Inés / I de Italia [Italy]

J de José / J de Jerusalén [Jerusalem] / J de Japón [Japan]

K de Kilo

L de Lorenzo

M de Madrid / M de Marco / M de México

N de Navarra / N de Nicaragua

Ñ de Ñoño [wimp] / Ñ de Ñu [wildebeest]

O de Oviedo / O de Oso [bear]

P de París / P de Portugal / P de Perú

Q de Queso [cheese]

R de Roma [Rome]

S de Sábado [Saturday] / S de Sevilla

T de Toledo / T de Tomás

U de Uruguay

V de Valencia / V de Victoria [victory, or the name] / V de Venezuela

W de Washington

X de Xilófono [xylophone]

Y de Yugoslavia

Z de Zorro [fox] / Z de Zaragoza

And I'm not sure if I've heard the one for LL. It was always doble ele or ele doble. I personally would probably say LL de lluvia but it does make sense when you're spelling something to say two Ls

Oh, also CH is not its own letter now, but I believe I was taught CH de chocolate or CH de Chile

Please know that my experiences are based primarily on European Spanish, so I'm not sure what they might say in other countries

Also I'm just assuming y'all know how to pronounce the letters in the alphabet which you might not so I would recommend looking up the alphabet in Spanish on youtube and hearing someone pronounce the letters

Also RR is called doble ere usually, it's typically said or written like that. RR never begins a word so it's always considered a special case and doesn't have its own letter in that kind of alphabet. I think I was taught RR de carro (?) but told it’s not its own letter exactly(?)

-

Also there's B and V which have different names depending on where you are. B and V have a similar sound when pronounced in Spanish in many words, so there are

You might hear B alta/larga or V baja/corta/chica where it's "big/long B" and "short/small V"

We were also taught B de burro "B as in donkey", and V de vaca "V as in cow"

Btw when I was in school our teacher gave us flashcards that had the letters and some things that were definitely for little kids but it was something like:

A de árbol [tree]

B de burro [donkey]

C de casa [house]

CH de chocolate

D de dedo [finger]

E de elefante [elephant]

F de flor [flower]

G de gato [cat]

H de hielo [ice] / H de hamburguesa [hamburger]

I latina / I de iglesia [church]

J de jirafa [giraffe] / J de José

K de kiwi

L de león [lion]

LL de lluvia [rain]

M de mariposa [butterfly]

N de naranja [orange]

Ñ de ñu [wildebeest] / Ñ de ñandú [idk how to describe it, it looks like an ostrich but it's not an ostrich exactly? It's called a "rhea" in English]

O de oveja [sheep]

P de princesa [princess]

Q de queso [cheese]

R de rana [frog]

S de serpiente [snake]

T de tomate [tomato]

U de uva [grape]

V de vaca [cow]

W de Washington

X de xilófono [xylophone]

Y de yoyo

Z de zapato [shoe]

And you know it's old when CH is still included because CH and LL haven't been considered their own letters since 2010. I still think they're important, but they're not considered letters in and of themselves

-

The other ones that you might hear are i latina and y griega which I included above. Literally this is "Latin I" and "Greek Y" because i and y have the same sound when pronounced in the alphabet like that, and Y is said to be Greek while I comes from the Latin letters

Occasionally though you will see la Y pronounced as la ye

And finally, LL is sometimes included in alphabets and sometimes not. In the abecedario it's typically la elle which is pronounced with the LL sound; but you might also see ele doble which is "double L"

-

If anyone has any other examples or things they were taught, please let me know! I'd be curious to see if there are any differences

[docgold13]

365 DC Comics Paper Cut-Out SuperHeroes - One Hero, Every Day, All Year…

Supplemental - The Best of The Rest

Turns out there are many more than just a year’s worth of great heroes in the DC Universe.   And plotting out who goes where, who gets included and who would be left out proved a difficult challenge that by no means was executed without flaw.  As such there were lots of great characters who ended up not making the cut… even a bunch that I made cut-outs for or already had cut-outs for.  So without further ado, here are some of the heroes who didn’t make it into the schedule right after the jump...

 The size-altering Superfriend known as Apache Chief

The original Blue Beetle, Ted Garret

The enigmatic Black Racer of the New Gods

Bloc, the stone-skinned powerhouse from the Legion of Superheroes

Bombshell of the Teen Titans

The fierce Green Lantern known as Boodikka

Bouncing Boy of the Legion of Superheroes

C’rp of The Green Lantern Corps

Duo Damsel of the Legion

The tragic Element Girl

Ferro Lad of the Legion

Gates!

Genius Jones who will answer any query for a nickel

The Golden Pharaoh

The second Invisible Kid of the Legion of Superheroes

Katma Tui of the Green Lantern Corps

Kid Devil former sidekick of Blue Devil and one time Teen Titan

Kid Quantum of the Legion

King Chimera also of The Legion

Lagoon Boy

The Little Mermaid, former member of Dr. Mist’s Global Guardians

Marv and Wendy the teen sidekicks of the Superfriends  

Matter Eater Lad of The Legion of Superheroes... he can eat anything!

The super fast, super cranky Max Mercury!

Mento of The Doom Patrol... the fresh maker!

The all-seeing Metron of New Genesis

The former Bird of Prey known as Misfit

The original Mister Terrific, Terry Sloan

Negative Woman of The Doom Patrol

Nite Girl, the co-founder of the Legion of Substitute Heroes

Polar Boy the other co-founder of the Legion of Substitute Heroes

Projection Princess of The Legion

Protty!

The original Robot Man, Robert Crane

the former villain and now hero known as The Rubber Band Man

The Shiny Happy Aquazon of the Super Young Team

The cosmic hero known as The Space Ranger

Sun Boy of the Legion of Superheroes

Sunny Sumo an ally to The Forever People

Tempest, former leader of The Doom Patrol

Terry None of the more contemporary Doom Patrol

Tigress who is a villain in the comic book universe yet very much a hero in the Young Justice animated series

The Green Lantern known as Tomar Re

Vulcan of the Superfriends

Waverider

Wildfire of The Legion

The Wildebeest of the Teen Titans

and Zatanna’s cousin, former Teen Titan, Zachary Zatarra

[theworldbrewery]

running downtime

Downtime can be...a lot. Players often have a laundry list of To-Do’s that need to get done right this second even though until downtime the DM didn’t know it was a priority--and when they don’t have a mountain of tasks to complete, players frequently have no idea how to spend their downtime.

I’m here to help.

Tip #1: Know that there’s going to be downtime before the session arrives.

So the first half of the session is combat with the Big Bad, and then the party trudges back to town to recover for a few days. And suddenly you, the DM, master of preparedness, realize that they want to do things before the next plotline hits them like a train.

End the session there. Make it a short one, maybe go over the session out of character and get a feel for how your players enjoyed the combat/the big reveal/the monologue describing the dungeon, etc. It’s a great time to evaluate where they’re at as players and where you’re at as DM. And then tell them you expect they will have some downtime next session. You will need time to prepare, as downtime usually goes off the rails.

Tip #2: Make sure they know the limits, and gather their ideas.

Give them an estimate. No more than a week unless you think some kind of item crafting is involved. And get their ideas for what their character will do in the constraints of that time estimate.

This way, you don’t have a PC decide to take a month-long journey into the woods seeking spiritual enlightenment and suddenly the whole timeline is off. Instead, they might have to visit the temple in town for guidance. It will also help you set other limits, such as “don’t blow the entire downtime with a major roleplay scenario,” and the projects that they do decide to pursue are projects you can ready yourself for before the next session. You’ll know how much it costs to buy an enchanted Hurdy-gurdy of Slaying before someone tries to buy it.

Tip #3: Encourage the PCs to spend downtime together.

If two people have shopping trips, let them do their shopping together. They can have roleplay shenanigans or get into trouble, but it’s less likely to be a fun scene if every downtime activity is a one-on-one with the DM.

Similarly, don’t make every activity into a roleplay moment. You can tell the only person who wants to visit the local casino that they can roll for their gambling success on each day they spend at the casino, and assign losses and gains accordingly. That way, the session won’t get bogged down in “I go to the casino and ask the receptionist for a single room. Where can I find the poker table?” “roll to find the poker table.” Single-character activities should be streamlined unless they serve an important RP function (like a character making a morally grey deal with an assassin behind the party’s back).

Tip #4: Have a sketched-out Activity Timeline.

Know roughly who will be where and when they will be there. For one, this helps keep the party on track--no “I wanted to go with Sylvania to the farmer’s market but now she’s with Ivan at the duke’s cotillion so I guess we aren’t doing that.”

For another thing, it helps you know where people will be when the Next Plotline rears its head. A terrorist attack on the duke’s cotillion will be more effective when most of the party is nearby and noticing clues to the impending assault.

Which brings me to the last tip:

Tip #5: Never stop dropping storyline hints.

It might be downtime, but a flier for a missing dog named “Princess” can still be pinned to the local bulletin board, and that might be the hook you need to get the party to pursue a Princess-kidnapping dragon wyrmling. Seeing more strangers in the home base village might be a sign that something is being plotted beneath the party’s notice.

At least one of those hinted storylines should be your way of bringing the party back out of downtime. If they receive an invitation to the reading of an old millionaire’s will because a party member is going to inherit, they will probably pursue that! If they are attacked by a horde of sapient wildebeests with halberds while enjoying a relaxing spa day, that will probably be the next arc, so set it up during downtime.

If you enjoy our work, consider donating to our Ko-Fi @ theworldbrewery. We appreciate your support!

[dc-earth53]

Nightwing (Dick Grayson)

Age: 31

Occupation: Police officer, adventurer

Marital status: Married

Known relatives: John Grayson (father, deceased), Mary Grayson (mother, deceased), Bruce Wayne (adoptive father), Damian Wayne (adoptive brother), Jason Todd (adoptive brother), Cassandra Cain (adoptive sister), Helena Wayne (adoptive sister), Koriand’r (wife), Mar’i Grayson (daughter), Jacob Grayson (son), Komand’r (sister-in-law), Ryand’r (brother-in-law).

Group affiliation: Titans, Gotham Knights, formerly Justice League of America, Outsiders

Base of operations: Bludhaven, Gotham City, New Jersey

Height: 5’10”

Weight: 175 lbs.

History:

31 years ago: Richard “Dick” Grayson is born to circus acrobats Mary and John Grayson.

25 years ago: John and Mary begin training Dick in gymnastics, and he joins their act: “The Flying Graysons.”

19 years ago: 

Gotham City crime lord Tony Zucco murders John and Mary during their act, sending them hurtling to their deaths from the high wire. 12-year-old Grayson is adopted by Bruce Wayne, who was in attendance that evening.

Grayson sneaks out of Wayne Manor to investigate the murder of his parents, and is nearly killed but saved by Batman, who he discovers is his adopted father.

Afterwards, Grayson becomes Robin, Batman’s crime-fighting partner.

18 years ago: Alongside Aqualad and Kid Flash, Robin helps found the Teen Titans, a group of young superheroes who felt ignored by their mentors.

17 years ago: Barbara Gordon debuts at Batgirl, and Grayson develops a precocious crush on her.

13 years ago: 

The mysterious Raven brings together Robin and several other young heroes as the New Teen Titans, to combat the threat of her father, Trigon.

Dick meets Koriand’r, a former alien princess who had been taken into slavery and escaped to Earth. The two quickly fall in love.

12 years ago: 

Grayson is shot in the shoulder by the Joker, and retires from being Robin, moving away from Gotham to attend Hudson University. Soon afterwards, inspired by old Kryptonian legends told to him by Superman, Dick takes the identity of Nightwing.

Nightwing re-joins the Titans to help them fight against Deathstroke, the Terminator.

11 years ago: Grayson, along with Earth’s other heroes, fight against the Anti-Monitor.

10 years ago: 

Grayson is shaken when Jason Todd, his replacement as Robin, is beaten to death by the Joker. He takes a temporary leave of absence from the Titans.

Grayson meets Tim Drake, a fan of Batman and Robin’s, who petitions him to become the new Robin. Grayson refuses, but encourages Drake to take the role himself.

9 years ago: After a long battle against the Wildebeest Society, Dick proposes marriage to Koriand’r, and she accepts.

8 years ago: Dick and Kory are married, although circumstances conspire to keep them apart. Dick returns to Gotham, where his relationship with Batman is on the mend after Batman’s back is broken by Bane. 

7 years ago: 

Dick and Kory settle down in the beleaguered Bludhaven neighborhood of Gotham City, which is soon shaken by an earthquake that renders the city a no man’s land.

Dick and Kory have a daughter, Mar’i.

6 years ago: After leaving the Titans in the capable hands of Tim Drake, Grayson is tapped by Batman to lead the newest incarnation of the Outsiders. He accepts.

5 years ago: Grayson and Kory part ways, as she’s recruited to fight in the war between Rann and Thanagar. Grayson, meanwhile, adopts the identity of the Renegade to infiltrate Lex Luthor’s Secret Society.

4 years ago: After a mission to Oolong Island goes very wrong, Grayson turns leadership of the Outsiders over to Kate Kane, the Batwoman, and returns to the Titans.

2 years ago: Batman is seemingly killed by Darkseid, and Grayson takes the role of Gotham’s main defender until Bruce’s return, fighting in broad daylight with a variety of allies by his side.

1 year ago: Dick and Kory’s second child, Jacob, is born, shortly before Kory travels into space once more with the Justice League.

Present day: Shortly after Kory’s return, Dick is seemingly murdered by Rose Wilson, as part of a cover-up to infiltrate the Leviathan organization.

Commentary:

Dick Grayson. Nightwing. The successor. Batman’s greatest success. The Batman who laughs... okay, maybe not that last one. (note: there is no Dark Multiverse in this canon, you’re safe from that fucker.) Dick Grayson is by far my favorite Bat-family member, and one of my favorite DC characters in general. 

This version of Dick is sort of the anti-Batman: where Bruce is paranoid, Dick is trusting. Bruce operates in the shadows, Dick prefers the light. Bruce pushes away those who aren’t in his inner circle, Dick is second only to Superman in how many people get along with him. You get the idea. In taking in and raising Dick Grayson, Batman achieved his stated goal: making sure that he wouldn’t end up like him. Instead, Dick is a well-adjusted adult with lots of friends, a family of his own, and a job he loves.

(to the tune of “the Election of 1800″ from Hamilton)

Starfire or Babs! If you had to choose, if you had to choose...

Dick also is a major part of what’s probably my most controversial change to the canon in this universe: his wedding to Kory gets to go through as originally planned way, way back in the early 1990′s, which permanently ties Dick to the DCU at large rather than confining him to Bat-family stories (which he still takes part in a decent number of). This reality’s Barbara Gordon retains much of her pre-Crisis history, making her significantly older than Dick is - the only remnants of their relationship here are a little bit of a precocious crush from young Robin. I don’t hate DickBabs, but I prefer DickKory, and this is reflected in the timeline here.

(And yes, despite continually being separated by their jobs, Dick and Kory have a wonderful relationship, built on years of mutual trust and companionship. A couple doesn’t need to be together all the time to be a couple, after all.)

Dick really only has one iconic costume, and that’s Discowing, I mean- um... yeah, it’s the black suit with the blue bird emblem on the front, specifically inspired by the Young Justice cartoon version. I’m not convinced anyone really liked the red New 52 Nightwing costume, and Ric is definitely not the answer. Agent 37, however... hmm...

Next up: Psimon, then at long last Zatanna!

[bindi-the-skunk]

Can no one keep their nose in their own business chapter 1

Just putting the first chapter here to see if anyone wants the rest on here (it’s all done so I can just fast upload all of it since it is not in progress like “Son of Frankenstein” 

Warning: This contains Mpreg and omegaverse 

chapter: The cake is not a lie but the problem started with cookies

Lavender hummed as she walked down the hallway, a plate of Rachels cookies in her hands, she was hoping that Doctor Lanyon and Doctor Jekyll had not left as everyone else had, she told them she was going to be in her lab all day well everyone else enjoyed the day out in the town, but she decided bringing them a treat would be a nice thing to do.

Both men had been so...strange acting as of late, she hoped nothing was wrong...

Walking in on all that blood...

The extremofaunic zoologist shook her head to clear it and slapped a smile back on her face, that was months ago, perhaps something was amiss with Mr. Hyde? Jekyll had not transformed into him in ages and whenever asked, said he was still there but they were putting off the shift for a while.

She had not heard of anything breaking or any other reason to keep Hyde locked up...the alternate never missed an opportunity to cause trouble...

But anyway she would give them a small present, maybe that would help whatever was going on.

Walking up to the door Lavender heard noises come from inside the office...sounded like...giggling?

Doctor Jekyll's giggling, a strange sound to say the least to her ears...

"Robert that tickles..." came a whisper from inside that Lavender had to strain to hear even when she pressed her ear to the wood.

"Relax and listen to the doctor" Robert's voice came next and the tone intrigued Lavender enough to where she looked for a crack in the door so she could see.

"I don't want someone running in here thinking something is wrong," Henry said sounding a bit out of breath.

Oh, they couldn't be ...

Lavender went red but could not stop from her search, curiosity peaked too much at this point.

"No one is here, they are out today"

"Except Miss Lavender and Victoria Frankenstein"

"Miss Lavender will be in her lab all day and Frankenstein almost never leaves hers"

The sound of a long-suffering sigh came from inside before a mild chuckle was heard "Alright, but be careful, I do not want them inheriting your louder tendencies"

Them?

"That's mean...is Edward coming out?"

"He's staying out of this"

Finding a proper crack Lavender looked into the room to find both men still properly clothed, though Jekyll had his shirt lifted slightly with Lanyon kneeling next to him with Henry running his fingers through the curly chocolate locks as the other was laid down on the sofa with Roberts head on his stomach...

Which was swollen slightly

When had...no one had noticed THAT? Then again he had been wearing looser clothes as of late...not transforming into Hyde...going around the building without shoes when he could...complaints about soreness...

Stupid stupid stupid!

Had she not been holding a plate she would have slapped herself in the head, but-oh! She needed to tell the others!

Setting the plate down the zoologist ran down the hall to grab her phone so she could tell everyone to gather some baby things and party supplies, this was so exciting! A baby in the building! She would be an auntie!!!

--

"Boy or girl?" Robert asked softly not bothering to lift his head from its very comfortable resting spot.

"Impatient alpha, it's too soon to tell just yet" Henry quipped, but it had no bite behind it, Edward was thankfully being good that day and keeping himself busy inside their head, though he could feel him once and a while coming back up curious about the attention the bump was getting, feeding a bit off of his counterparts happiness and contentment.

"They're going to be daddy's little prince or princess," Lanyon said matter-of-factly smiling wider making his rounded cheeks stand out even more, and chuckled when his mate chose to poke him in the nose with the tip of his index finger.

"Hey give me some of the credit they are on MY lap!"

"Don't worry you-"

CRASH

"Suppose this morning was too nice to last..." Henry deadpanned and both men got to their feet to fix random bits of clothing and straighten out hair, hoping that the mess was not too large and require heavy lifting considering the split man's condition...

Both opened the door and stepped out into the hall, neither seeing the plate of cookies just outside it in their rush to fix whatever problem occurred and headed towards where they heard the boom.

A lot of whispers were heard down the hall, something even flying past the end of it, and upon entering, both their eyes widened at the sight of a pink and blue nightmare.

Streamers had been flung around and stuck to random furniture and some landed where they guessed they were supposed to be in the first place, chairs, none of which seemed to match, had been placed about the room, lab tables had been dragged from their spots to be used as food tables, some even still have chemical stains or burn marks on them even despite the poor attempts to cover them with plates and random decor.

Balloons, not filled with near as much helium as they needed, floated around, one even hovering past Henry, who was hit by an urge to deck it like the rubber sphere was a punching bag and hope it popped from the force.

Robert looked very much like someone who had gotten their shoe spit in

Lodgers ran about, carrying random items, placing decorations, shouting random orders or swearing as their task was interrupted or did not go the way they wanted, but after the couple had stood in the opening for what seemed like an age and a half, the lodgers finally seemed to notice their extra guests and Cheshire cat grins spread across the crowd.

Oh no...

"CONGRATULATIONS!" came the united shout as the crowd of rogue scientists suddenly became a herd of wildebeests as the mates got rushed, both being hit by the urge to turn tail and run but being surrounded before their escape plan could go into effect.

"Come sit down dears!" Miss Flowers said as she pretty much yanked the two towards a couple of chairs, which had the closest proximity to each other and plopped them into the seats, both too shocked to resist and found themselves with hands full of cake slice, courtesy of Mr. Doddle who even kindly put pillows behind both men's backs.

"Are you going to spend your pregnancy at home so we can still keep working with our chemicals?" Griffin asked only to be bonked in the head by Mrs. Cantilupe, who quickly got to ranting at him for his rude question.

"We can work on our other projects!" Virginia Ito said smiling gently "We don't want to bar you from coming around, you both run this society after all and we would love you coming around with your little one once it comes!"

"Oh! Oh! perhaps we can make them a little lab outfit!" came a random lodgers shout

"That would be so cute! It could have a little duck stitched onto it!"

"Don't forget the goggles! Make sure to have them adjustable! So they can keep using it!"

"We need to get to shopping then!"

"N-now just wait a minute-!" Robert started to say not liking how they were butting in on HIS mate's pregnancy, but he was quickly spoken over and just slunk down further in his chair pouting.

"Who's going to deliver it?" Came another voice

"Well, we actually plan on a hos-" Henry began only to be drowned out himself and closed his mouth knowing he was not about to be heard any time soon and just rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"Mr. Lanyon of course! He's his mate" Miss flowers said "That's the best for the both of them and great bonding too"

"But he will need him focused on other things, he can't be a mate and a doctor at the same time!"

"One of us could do it! He could even deliver here!"

"I would rather-"

"What is going on in here?" Frankenstein said as she walked into the room and saw the shower décor making her eyes go wide as she tried to process it all before her eyes went to Jekyll, then his stomach making him cover it up using the pillow that was cushioning his back.

What fresh hell was this....

[nightglider124]

RobStar Week 2020: Day 1

Tis RobStar Week, guysss! Ugh. Yas. That means content for the week of my two disgustingly adorable children. We love to see it. 

I do believe it runs from 5th July - 11th July so check the robstarweek tag each day for some robstar joy :3

So, I haven’t written anything really for a while. Especially not based in the TTA universe. But, I’m mildly happy with this one. In theory, it doesn’t actually have much of the kids but it has Robin talking bout his crush with Wally. 

Confession... I don’t love the prompt of destiny/fate/star-aligned... all of that. Idk why cos like in essence I believe it. My babies are destined for each other. Buuut, as a prompt, I just never am a fan. So, I tried my best, I swear! XD

This oneshot is set after ‘Titans Together’ but before the movie, ‘Trouble In Tokyo’.

Uh, I know Robin talks about when Starfire kissed him and I know that he doesn’t discover that she learns languages through lip contact until the movie but like... c’mon. Robin is a smart guy and would have thought about it in the time since they first met. I don’t think he would bring it up cos he awks but I think he would put two and two together. So, when it’s mentioned, he is just kinda speculating and then it’s confirmed in the movie. That’s how I’m viewing it anyway. XD

Hope you like it. Happy RobStar week! ^.^

________________________

Star-Aligned/Destiny

The upbeat music drifted and pounded around the whole tower, with the epicentre of the noise coming from the main room, which was fairly packed with Titans from all across the globe, enjoying their Friday night. 

It had been about a week since they’d taken down the Brotherhood of Evil and put all the criminals that had been affiliated back in their rightful places within penitentiaries across the world. The ordeal had been difficult on each and every one of the Titans and it had taken a lot of time and energy to ensure that the threat was dealt with and the Brotherhood were dismantled for good. 

So, when Beast Boy and Cyborg had approached him about having a party to relax and say thanks to the whole Titans Network for their help in defeating the long standing villains, Robin had been reluctant to say no. He felt that a little fun was well deserved and decided it wasn’t often that they all let loose and just got to act like normal young adults, even if it was only for one night.

He felt good as he sat at the counter, dressed in civvies for the first time in a long time, with a glass of cold soda tantalizing his lips. He knew that some of the boys had snuck in a bit of alcohol and since all of the Titans were technically 18 and over, they were legally allowed to drink in private locations, according to Jump City law. So, he was letting it slide, but that didn’t mean he was about to consume it himself. Robin was all for unwinding but… he still had his wits about him, just in case any alerts came through.

Of course, in the morning, there were a few individuals who he wanted a word with regarding how they purchased the alcohol but he resigned himself to waiting until tomorrow, rather than putting his leader head on right now.

Robin cocked a small smile as he scanned the room from behind the safety net of his mask. He may well have been in casual clothing but the mask always stayed put; an unkickable habit of his, he mused.

Cyborg was over by the sound system, setting up playlists upon playlists with Bumblebee at his side, helping to sort through the music. He could see from where he was perched, every time she saw a song that she clearly didn’t like, she would delete it from the playlist when Cyborg wasn’t looking. It’d provided Robin a good few laughs throughout the night to see his cybernetic friend become confused, scratching his head and wondering if he had had too much to drink, despite only really having about one beer.

Beast Boy was lounging on the sofa, game station controller in hand; his gleeful chuckle echoing every now and then as he challenged those around him to a racing game that he’d practically lived on for the better part of the past year. Herald, Hot Spot and Killowat were huddled around him, each trying to gain the upper hand on the changeling who had won the 4 games prior to the current round. 

Robin turned his head, noticing Red Star was talking with Aqualad, Pantha and Argent over near the windows with all of them holding a beverage each and laughing, getting to know one another better since they were all teammates and they’d never really had a chance to interact with one another until now. Robin saw tonight as a good opportunity for the Titans Network to get a little more acquainted with one another so that they had a good roster of friends and colleagues for future events and missions, if necessary.

Directly ahead of him, Gnarrk and Wildebeest were sat at the table, conducting an arm wrestle to see who had the superior strength with smirks so smug that Robin could feel the bravado permeating the air around them. Kole was standing by her best friend’s side, offering quiet encouragement; believing in his abilities wholeheartedly. She smiled as Jericho turned to her, seemingly signing to her, his faith in Gnarrk to win as well; a gesture that made Kole turn a rosy pink and Robin couldn’t help but wonder if there was a bit of a connection brewing between the two.

Behind Wildebeest, Thunder and Lightning were cheering loudly, waving their hands and hooting in favour of the humanoid chimera who simply grunted in acknowledgement of their vocal support. 

Robin chuckled quietly to himself and took a sip of his drink, minutely shaking his head as he inwardly wagered on who he thought was more likely to come out on top of said arm wrestle. 

In the right hand corner of the room, Robin could see Jinx who looked less than thrilled as she was effectively sandwiched between Kid Flash and Mas Y Menos who were, by the looks of it, having a lengthy debate about who had the faster abilities. 

Scrunching his face up, Robin took a moment to consider how that conversation was going considering he knew for a fact Wally didn’t know much Spanish, if any at all. 

He shook his head and his eyes travelled over Speedy and Bushido who seemed to be talking and sharing fighting tips, with Speedy making gestures with his hands to explain the types of arrows he used when he battled.

Robin sighed in content, happy for the warm atmosphere surrounding them all. When he’d first started recruiting the people in the room to be a part of their hero network, he hadn’t even considered what it would mean for them to gel together but every single Titan in the tower had proved that they could work effectively with one another, without really even knowing much about those around them.

He was proud of his teammates and friends and he felt confident that if more threats on a larger scale were to ever crop up in the near future, then they would be prepared and ready with a strong force in place. 

Tapping his fingertips against the side of his glass, a lingering silver laugh caused him to pause; a tingle descending down his spine with a simultaneous heat prickling his skin. He lifted his head and his gaze inadvertently fell upon Starfire who was sitting on the back of the sofa, her long legs dangling down with her ankles crossed over one another. 

Her hands were clasped and in her lap as she talked animatedly with Raven, who in turn, was responding in her usual way of nods and small smiles, only speaking here and there. 

Robin gripped his glass a little tighter as he watched the alien Princess shrug her gorgeous mane of ruby hair over her shoulder, pooling down the length of her back. 

It had been futile to try and ignore how she looked tonight with Robin deciding how well Earth clothing suited her. She wore a lilac playsuit with a white floral pattern printed all over the fabric. The spaghetti straps of the garment fell perfectly on her shoulders with the rest of it hugging her body comfortably without being too tight or loose enough not to flatter her.

Although, Robin rebuffed that thought immediately. She could wear a trash bag and she’d still make it look amazing.

It was a short faux dress outfit but it was far from distasteful considering it was longer than her day to day uniform. The light frills at the hem were a nice touch, giving the illusion of it being a dress when in fact it wasn’t.

All in all, Robin had a tough time keeping his eyes off of her and it had been that way since the party started earlier in the evening.

He exhaled quietly to himself as he lost in himself in a momentary trance, with Starfire being the pinnacle of it all. Every single thing she did was endearing and he finally understood what people meant whenever they would compare a person to that of sunlight.

Starfire was the epitome of a ray of sunshine; constantly smiling and being her bubbly self, no matter who she was around. She could be around the grouchiest person in the universe and she’d still be able to coax a grin from them, without so much as even trying to. 

She was just so naturally inviting; like moths to a flame, Starfire was a friend to all and he could honestly admit that he had never met someone as kind and carefree as her which in his eyes was what made her so unique within their world of heroes. 

Robin stared after her, watching the way her jade eyes would shimmer whenever Raven said something remotely funny or something that Starfire could relate to. Her orange skin seemed to glow with every thousand watt smile that found its way onto her cupid bow lips. 

Just beneath his rib cage, Robin felt his heart rate start to increase; a quiet thumping of his chest, the longer he stared after her. 

Swallowing heavily, Robin averted his eyes, instead choosing to stare down at his bubbling soda. Despite this, his mind remained rooted on the one thing in the room he took the most interest in. He couldn’t help but inwardly dwell on his feelings for the Tamaranean girl, no matter how hard he had tried over the years to refuse and deny what his heart had been singing all along, since she first crash landed on the planet they called home.

It was a constant struggle for him; trying to figure out if it would be worth the risk or if he should remain stoic and unfeeling like another vigilante he was familiar with.

A sudden gust of wind enveloped him, causing his hair to rapidly fly out of place. Staying still, Robin merely sighed and blinked in annoyance, already aware of who was now leaning against the counter beside him.

“Wally…” Robin muttered, reaching a hand up to sort his hair out, casting a scowl in the speedster’s direction.

Kid Flash chuckled and pulled up a seat beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey Dick.” 

“Do you have to do that every single time?” 

“Duh. Think of it as… a privilege of being best friends.” 

“Pretty lousy privilege.”

He made a ‘psh’ sound and gave him another shove, “You get what ya get.” 

“Uh huh.” Robin replied, leaning forward to take a swig of his drink, feeling the cold liquid slither down his throat. Despite his best efforts to stay inconspicuous, he was unable to stop himself from stealing another glance at Starfire who had moved from her spot on the back of the couch with Raven.

She was giggling with Bumblebee and Argent, swaying her hips and dancing to the music that was swirling in the air; a catchy beat that seemed to be luring quite a few Titans into dancing now.

He could feel his face heating up as he registered that Wally was staring at him with a teasing smirk laced upon his lips. He cut him a scathing look and attempted his best batglare, making Wally snort.

“C’mon. When has that look ever worked to make me stop?” He laughed, taking a gulp of the beer he was holding,

Robin took a deep breath, awaiting the onslaught of jabs. He’d known Wally for most of his life, ever since he’d gotten adopted by Bruce on account of his links with the league.

It’d taken just one encounter with the redhead on a visit to the watchtower and they’d been inseparable. 

Of course, that changed somewhat after he left Gotham; the communication dropping with Robin being more so to blame, after effectively shutting those around him out. 

It picked up again though, once he had become more established with the Titans, going as far to offer him a spot on the team. Wally had declined at first, unsure how he felt about being with a team but after a while, he came around. 

It helped that he happened to run into Jinx whilst he was still mulling over the decision.

Robin sighed and half turned his body towards him, “What are you doing over here?” 

“Just wanting to catch up with my bud… obviously.” Wally replied, trying to appear aloof but failing miserably,

Leaning back, Robin spied Jinx still standing where Wally had been beforehand, staring at the twins in bewilderment as they babbled to her in Spanish.

“You know, you’ve basically abandoned Jinx.” Robin muttered,

There was a mischievous glint in his lime eyes as he waved a dismissive hand, “Bah, she’s fine. She needs to socialise with good guys more anyway. Needs to build on her newfound hero ways.” 

Robin shrugged and tilted his chin downwards, eyes on the counter top to avoid any more fleeting glances at anyone in particular. 

“So…” Wally drawled, in that tone.

Sighing heavily, Robin looked up at him, “What?”

“Star’s looking hot tonight.” He taunted and it took everything Robin had not to react in the way Wally clearly wanted him to,

“Mhm. She looks great.” Robin mumbled, not really in the mood for this kind of conversation. He had been feeling pretty mellow but he could sense that slipping away and being sent spiralling into the mess of emotions he experienced from time to time where Starfire was concerned.

“Dick… c’mon.” Wally persisted, levelling with him, “Your crush on her isn’t exactly subtle.”

“Well… she doesn’t know so it seems to be working so far.” 

Wally snorted, “To practically everyone else, it’s obvious that something is going on.” 

Dick took a deep inhale and gripped his glass with both hands, preparing himself for more of Wally’s insistence, “Well, there’s not. Sorry to disappoint.” 

“Dude.” He paused and leaned into him, his tone shifting into a more sincere one, “Maybe there would be something if… y’know… you made a move on the ol’ Princess?” 

Whilst it was in his nature to deflect anything to do with feelings; especially romantic ones, at all costs, there was something gnawing at him; encouraging him to open up a bit. It was Wally, after all.

“I can’t.” Dick sighed, loosening the grip of his fingers around the glass,

“Sure you can. Just get up, go over there and ask her to dance or… I don’t know, smooth talk her.” Wally suggested,

“No… I mean… I can’t. I’m the leader of the Titans… Bruce always taught me not to get involved that way with a teammate. It causes rifts in team dynamics and-”

Wally cut him off with a scoff, “Who cares? If you feel that way about her, which you obviously do, you deal with those kinds of things and work it out as you go along.” 

Dick sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes, “It doesn’t matter.”

Sensing that he was retreating into himself again, Wally tried an alternate route, “You know… with all the doe eyes you make at her, you never told me how you actually met.” 

Without really even being aware of it, a soft smile graced Dick’s lips, “Uh… I’d just got to Jump and was dealing with this thief and saw this… streak of green across the sky. I went to check it out and turns out, she’d quite literally crash landed to Earth.” 

“That must’ve been so cool, man.” Wally laughed,

Dick inclined his head a little, “It was… different to anything I’d had in Gotham.”

“Yeah, but Starfire is… sweetness and joy.”

The ebony haired hero chuckled to himself, “Uh… not at first. She…” He paused and glanced at her, gauging just how much he should leave out about where she came from on that day, “She was… being held prisoner by these aliens… Gordanians are what they were called. Long running warfare between them and Tamaran and… a few other planets.”

“Prisoner?” Wally queried, clearly vying for more information,

“Let’s just say… she was forced from her world and it… wasn’t because of any crimes.” 

Wally stared at him for a long moment before something softened in his expression and he nodded, “So… what was she like?” 

“As you can imagine… she didn’t trust any of us. Hissing and seething and blowing shit up.” 

“Badass.” Wally grinned,

Dick chuckled, “Yeah… she didn’t know English either so… couldn’t exactly explain to her that we just wanted her to stop.”

“How’d she get so fluent in the language then?” 

His cheeks turned red almost instantly and he cleared his throat, willing the blush to dim until it vanished, “Her people can learn languages instantaneously through uh… lip contact. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well… after she… did it… um… she spoke English… so I just assume…”

Wally blinked in surprise, “Wow. That’s a useful trait-” He cut himself short as he recognized the discomfort on his best friend’s face, “Oh my god. She learned it from you, didn’t she? You got a kiss from her on the first day you met her!” 

Dick snapped his head in Wally’s direction, “Can you shut up, please? We’ve… never talked about it. Kissing isn’t a thing on her world… and I never brought it up.”

“She knows what ‘lip contact’ means on Earth though, right?”

“She knows now… I mean she must know, considering how many romance movies we’ve sat through on movie nights.” Dick shook his head, “Like I said… we’ve never talked about it so… I don’t know what she thinks on that front.”

Wally chuckled, “No wonder you’ve been smitten with her since day one. I would be too if a hot space girl kissed me in the middle of telling her to stop ripping a city apart.” 

Dick was about to protest, but relaxed and smirked, “Yeah… well… she made an impression, to say the least.”

“Sounds like… Mm… I don’t know.”

“What?” Dick prompted,

“You’ll just wave it off but… I mean… maybe it was meant to be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“People who are meant to be in your life don’t just fall out of the sky on a day to day basis, Dick.” Wally droned, looking at him like he was an idiot,

The Boy Wonder chewed on the inside of his cheek; his mind a bubble of thought, “It’s… not the craziest thing.” He paused and looked at her again, still dancing around without a care in the world, “She brought us together… we know for a fact… she’s the glue that keeps us together; the heart of our team… without her… we wouldn’t last.”

“See? That, my friend, is fate.” Wally surmised,

“I don’t know about that, Wally. It… just so happened we were all in the area at the same time.” Dick rebuffed,

“Listen… whether you want to admit it or not… don’t you think it seems a little too coincidental that you all met Starfire on this one day and it basically set out your futures for the next few years at the least?” Wally asked, raising an eyebrow at him,

“Okay, fine. Let’s say that it is… fate or whatever… are you saying that the same applies to how I feel about her?” He challenged,

Wally scoffed and flailed his hands around slightly, “Duh! I’m telling you, there is no way that you ‘just so happened’ to meet Starfire and your team, start a network of teenage heroes that extends across the world and end up falling for the one who caused this… cataclysm… just by chance. It just doesn’t happen.”

Remaining silent, Dick felt the urge to mock him ebbing away, the more he tried to reason with him.

He was probably the furthest thing from a believer when it came to things such as fate and destiny, having turned cynical shortly after his parents were murdered.

By Wally’s logic, everything in life happened for a reason, with the goal of eventually fulfilling the path set out in stone for you when you’re first brought into existence.

“Wally…”

“The universe didn’t exactly have you meet her to just be ‘best friends’ for your whole life. You wouldn’t stare at her or think about her or want her the way you do, if it wasn’t supposed to happen dude.” 

Dick blinked, “This is the most philosophical way of telling me to make a move that you have ever used.”

Bursting into laughter, Wally lifted his shoulders and smiled, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But you know what I’m saying, at least on some level, makes sense.”

The Titans leader evaded admitting something like that, “Mm… what I know is that you’re only spewing destiny related stuff because of one beer too many.”

Wally looked scandalised for a long moment before he shrugged, “Okay, I might be a tad tipsy but it’s still relevant, Dick.” He sighed and threw an arm haphazardly around his best friend’s shoulders, “I’m trying to push you… for you. Whether you wanna believe me when I say it’s some kinda fate or not, the fact is… you can’t expect her to wait forever.”

Tugging himself away, Dick pulled a sour expression and turned to him, “And what if I do and it blows up in my face, huh? What if I go over there and ask her out and she says no?” He deflated and looked down at the counter top, “I doubt she sees me that way anyway so what’s the point?” 

Chuckling almost instantly, Wally rolled his eyes and looked at Dick with a raised brow, “Seriously? Dude, I’m not even on your immediate team and I can see that she likes you just as much as you like her.”

Dick cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink on their own accord, “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Okay well, it comes across pretty clearly except to you, apparently.” Wally paused, “Besides, aren’t you basically our biggest risk taker? You love that whole thrill of not knowing.” 

Dick grunted, “Not on this kind of thing.” 

“Right, right because it makes you all vulnerable and junk.” Wally drawled, earning another glare from the masked hero but choosing to ignore it, “Dick… I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I don’t think anyone can since you’re stubborn as hell. But… just remember… Starfire is beautiful and super sweet. You’re not the only guy in this hero network that thinks so… and if you don’t move your ass and at least make it known to her you’re interested… you might lose your chance altogether.” 

Opening his mouth to protest, Dick was cut short from doing so as Wally lightly nudged his shoulder and stared pointedly across the room, waiting for Dick to follow his line of sight as well.

Over near the large glass window panels, Starfire was standing, looking happily flushed from all the activity buzzing around her; something she constantly thrived on whenever parties were in full swing. Her smile was soft and patient as she bobbed her head, laughing at what was being said to her. 

Dick felt his stomach lurch and his heart started pounding painfully  within his chest as he noticed who was standing alongside her. Speedy was grinning at her, talking and making jokes about god knows what. He watched as the archer took a step towards her and gently touched her arm. 

Starfire appeared unbothered by the gestures but it greatly unnerved Dick, considering he could tell from Speedy’s posture that he was attempting to ‘woo’ her.

He bolted up from the stool he’d been sitting on at the counter, his fingertips pressing against the surface of it so hard, they were turning white. He could feel his chest constricting as his breathing turned harsh, an odd type of panic overtaking him.

“Hm… strange reaction for someone who doesn’t have feelings for her…” Wally murmured sarcastically before taking a long sip of his beer,

Narrowing his eyes, Dick turned to scowl at him, “How long has he been talking to her?” 

“Only about 2 minutes. Though… he sure looks like he’s getting comfy with your girl there…” 

Taking a deep breath, Dick let his hand slide off of the counter and he cleared his throat. He felt nervous but there was a knee jerk reaction in him that was yelling to get over there and interrupt Speedy’s attempts at romancing his best friend.

His gaze fell on Starfire who seemed oblivious to the obvious signals Speedy was sending towards her. Dick cocked a half smile, glad that she wasn’t playing into it. It gave him a rise of hope that maybe she wasn’t responding like a typical girl because she already had feelings for another guy that was possibly him. Maybe.

“What… what should I do when I get over there?” Dick queried, suddenly feeling the confidence drain from him,

“I don’t know. Ask her to dance?” Wally smiled sympathetically at him, “Dick… it’s Starfire. Isn’t she like… the one who makes you feel the most at ease?”

Dick swiveled his head back towards the auburn haired beauty, “She is.”

“Then it’ll be fine once you get over there.” Wally encouraged, tipping his beer bottle in his direction,

Nodding, Dick offered him a slight smile, “Thanks… Wally.”

“You know me, man. I’m a man of loveee.” 

Dick sighed, “And there’s the idiot.”

With that, he picked up his soda and made his way through the strings of Titans as casually as he could, without appearing as though he was desperately wanting to get between that tiny space that was still between Speedy and Starfire.

Watching through bright eyes, Wally smiled to himself as Dick reached the two. Speedy looked to be quite put out about his appearance but the speedster wasn’t paying much attention to him.

Rather, all he could see was the way Starfire lit up at Robin’s emergence. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, her emerald eyes shining with joy as she clasped her hands around his upper arm in an exuberant greeting. 

In return, Dick grinned back at her, talking with ease and a relaxed aura about him. Speedy looked effectively closed off and shut down, which if it were any other girl, Wally would feel pretty bad for him.

But, he knew how long Dick had had a thing for the alien Princess. He just hoped he would actually get it together and do something about it before it was too late.

“Well done, Grayson.” Wally chuckled to himself, before taking another sip of his drink and scanning the room for a certain pink haired sorceress.

[secret-engima]

*angry noises* You know what? Still mad at Tumblr for suddenly turning on the beta without warning (I DID NOT PUSH THE BUTTON TO SWITCH. I PROTEST THIS MIGHTILY) but I’m still gonna talk about Cor’s soulmate before I log off because NYEH *sticks tongue out at tumblr*.

Cor’s soulmate is like- either an Impala or a Thompson’s gazelle I haven’t decided yet, leaning strongly toward Thompson’s Gazelle though. She’s is Incredibly Snarky™, quite probably a survival mechanism against the insanity of her home life as the younger daughter of a Certain Bigwig.

A certain Camel Bigwig.

She takes after her mom. Clearly.

Cor would ask what he did to deserve having the Niflheim Emperor’s second child as his soulmate but. Well.

He’s actually pretty sure the world is inflicting HIM on HER, not the other way around, considering she is the older of them by about three years and Cor had run off recklessly when he was fifteen so their first Switch actually happened in the middle of ... well.

You can guess.

Cor is just endlessly grateful that his soulmate is hyper adaptable and capable of surviving on pure spite and responded to waking up in the middle of the Tempering Grounds with a bemused Gilgamesh standing over her by flawlessly decking Gilgamesh in his metal face and then somehow cramming Cor’s young lion body in a very defensible, high up crevice for the rest of the day.

And also that Gilgamesh apparently had enough scraps of honor (or humor more likely) left to leave her alone for the day after the successful Knocking Over The BladesMaster With Her Bare Fist.

Cor meanwhile spent the day losing his mind in the princess’s private quarters with a sympathetic but sensible giant of a wildebeest bodyguard keeping him from trying to bust out and RUN all the way back to the Tempering Grounds on his soulmate’s overly springy legs out of sheer panic (his soulmate was in the Tempering Grounds his SOULMATE WAS IN THE TEMPERING GROUNDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT COR HAD STARTED AND IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT OH NO-NO-NO-NO-)

It took about three or four switches to talk his soulmate into defecting to Lucis and it was during those later switches that Cor got to experience the Joys of Being In Heat because during the first one he was too freaked out to really notice.

I need a name for her.

Suggestions of latin or greek names for a kick butt, snarky, runaway imperial soulmate of the Immortal are welcome.

[epic-summaries]

Worst Ways to Die - Disney Edition

Ever wonder which death is the worst in the Disney Animated Canon? Well, here is the list of ways I do not want to go.

After making this list, I realized that there are some gruesome ways Disney characters have died.

Honourable Mentions:

The Spirits in Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria section of Fantasia: They are already dead. They don’t count.

Forest Creatures in Bambi: I can assume animals died in the fires, but I have no confirmation. So, I like to believe that all the animals lived.

Bambi’s Mom in Bambi; Willie the Whale in Make Mine Music; Todd’s Mom in Fox in the Hound; Kocoum in Pocahontas; Kerchak in Tarzan: Just wanted to mention how many people get shot with guns or cannons in Disney movies.

Ichabod in the Adventures of Ichabod and Mister Toad: Is he dead? I want to believe he’s dead because I hated him. But the ending hints that he might be alive being his normal asshole self.

Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty: Theoretically getting stabbed is a terrible way to die. However, this one specifically is too epic to make the list. You turn yourself in dragon and go down in a blaze of glory.

Hades in Hercules: He doesn’t technically die because the only way to kill a god is by making him mortal. So, Hades is alive.

The List:

10. Shan Yu in Mulan and Tadashi in Big Hero Six

Method of Death: They died in explosions

This sounds painful, so why is this not higher on the list? Well, it also sounds like a quick death. Shan Yu became fireworks, which is a little cool. Tadashi died being a bamf hero.

9. Mother Gothel in Tangled

Method of Death: She rapidly aged to only get turned into dust

This sounds terrifying but it did not last very long. Flynn getting stabbed lasted longer. But he was brought back to life.

8. The Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; Mufasa from the Lion King and Claude Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Method of Death: Falling with style?

I call this falling with style because this isn’t just your classic Disney falling death, there’s a twist! The Evil Queen also has a rock crush her, if the fall didn’t kill her, the rock did. Mufasa didn’t just fall into the gorge, he was also trampled by wildebeest (he also wins for most heartbreaking). Frollo didn’t just fall from Notre Dame, he was also engulfed by hellfire. Multiple ways to die, all of them painful.

7. The Hydra from Hercules and Carnotaurus #2 from Dinosaur

Method of Death: They were crushed by rocks

You might die when a rock hits you on the head, quick death. Or it could be a long and painful death, you lie there wishing for death to come. Plus getting crushed by rocks scares me more then falling.

6. Rourke from Atlantis the Lost Empire

Method of Death: He got turned into a weird blue thingy then got decapitated

This is a weird one. If it was just decapitation, this would have not made it on the list. But Milo also stabs him, so he turned into a blue monster and I assume he was slowly suffocating. Then he found the sweet release of death when he got decapitated by a propeller. He tried to bring Milo down with him but Milo is a protagonist, he can’t die.

5. The Village in Mulan

Method of Death: Your village getting sacked

So many variables. I don’t know how I died, but none of the possibilities sound good. Did I get stab? Did they slit my throat? Did I get trampled by my fellow villagers running away? Did I get shot with an arrow? Did I die by fire? As a woman, did the Huns do things to me beforehand? None of these options sound good.

4. Sykes from Oliver and Company

Method of Death: He got hit by a train while in his car

This feels too real to me.

3. The Horned King from The Black Cauldron

Method of Death: He was consumed by flames and blood while being pulled into the Black Cauldron

So, this wins for more gruesome death. Also, when he’s getting pulled into the cauldron, his skin is ripping off. So, he’s on fire, his skin is being pulled off while getting sucked into a boiling magical cauldron. Please no.

2. The Oysters from Alice and Wonderland, The Rat from Lady and the Tramp, Scar in Lion KIng and Tarzan’s Parents in Tarzan

Method of Death: Being eaten

Yes, the Horned King should be higher but this is a personal fear of mine. I wake up from nightmares about being eaten. This is one of my worst fears. Now out of all these, I’m pretty Scar had it worse, because he was eaten alive. The Oysters were first boiled. Tarzan’s Parents were first killed before being eaten. And technically I have no confirmation that he Tramp ate that rat, but he did hunt it so he could save the baby, which the rat was trying to eat alive. So the rat is close enough to be on this list.

1. Doctor Facilier in Princess and the Frog

Method of Death: Drag down to hell

Let me write that again, he was dragged down to hell from his “friends” from the other side. This isn’t just a quick death, no! He is being tortured for eternity. This death isn’t a one time event, this is death will last forever and forever. Which is why, it’s the worst way to die in a Disney movie.

[airasora]

Hollina #43 “Are you drunk?”

Holli looked herself over in the mirror, her pulse uncharacteristically high. She had spent too long in the Tenderloins’ restroom, but she found it hard to go back to her friends.

And Lina. Mostly Lina. Stupid Lina.

Why did she think it was a good idea to show up at work? Lina never really did think things through, did she? Well, Holli supposed that was one of her charming traits, even if also annoying. Her coworkers had immediately stampeded towards her like fucking wildebeests, asking her all sorts of questions. Lina, being the airheaded social butterfly she was, just answered all their questions like they were nothing. Her coworkers did not need to know that Holli called Lina Tulip. She was not mushy at work, they didn’t need to know she was mushy other places.

Holli took one last deep breath, readjusted her boobs in the white suit and went back to the bar. She wasn’t even sure how long she had spent in there, but finding her girlfriend was gonna be an easy task, despite her height or lack thereof; just find the big group of strippers not doing their job.

As Holli approached, she heard some giggling and cringed at the thought of what kind of secrets Lina was spilling now. To her surprise though, the giggling came from Lina herself. Towering above everyone else in her 8 inch heels, Holli came eye to eye with her girlfriend, way below her chest height. And that wasn’t just because she was sitting down.

“Are you drunk?”

Lina’s head whipped up, her neck almost cracking from the movement, and gave what could only be described as a shit-eating grin. “No...” she slurred before making a cartoony hiccup.

Holli’s friends laughed hysterically. “She’s had like three shots!” Kat sputtered.

“You fucking idiots; she can’t hold her liquor!”

“You can say that again.” Erotica joked, earning a glare from Holli. She shrugged. “I tried to stop them, babe, but you know what they’re like.”

“Jess, could you--”

“I’ll cover for you, Holli. You go take her home.” Jessica interrupted, having already figured Holli would ask for her to take her shift.

Holli gave a grateful smile before scurrying between the girls and held out her hand to Lina. “Come on, Daywalker, I’m taking you home.”

“Are we gonna fly?” Lina asked struggling to grab Holli’s hand. It wasn’t her fault there was like four of them, how was she supposed to know which one was solid?

“If you mean, am I taking you home on my motorcycle then yeah, we’re flying.”

With a giggle, Lina finally got ahold of the right hand and pulled herself up from the couch. Holli tried guiding her, but Lina stumbled over her own feet and straight into Holli’s chest. Not a position Holli was opposed to usually, but she really just wanted to get outta there. So, without much thinking, Holli threw Lina over her shoulder like a bag of potatoes and walked towards the exit.

“That is not how you carry a princess!” Lina whined, but let her arms and legs hang lazily.

“And that is not how a princess acts. Pipe down, Pipsqueak!”

“Come back soon, Tulip!” Giselle shouted excitedly and Lina shouted back some incoherent, but just as enthusiastic, nonsense.

“Maybe next time we can all give you a lap dance!” Kat laughed.

With her free hand, Holli flipped her friends off and exited the strip club. This was gonna be a long night.