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captain-joongz · 6 months ago

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On the wind of morning; Dragonheart ch.1

Pairing: OT7 dragon!BTS x knightess!reader

Genre: dragon rider AU, high fantasy, soulmate adjacent, slight enemies to lovers (if you squint), angst, fluff and humour, eventual smut

Chapter summary: The capital is as unwelcoming as ever, father as disappointed as one can be and the new unit dynamics are challenging, but you finally meet your dragon.

Word count: 22.1k

Warnings: some bad family dynamics, toxic father shenanigans, some displays of slavery, talks of slavery, there's a pov switch near the end so watch out for that, otherwise not much

Series masterlist | Next part | Lore | Dictionary

A/N: here comes the first chapter!! i hope it meets the expectations and you enjoy yourself while reading! don't be shy, tell me what you think and how you like it! <3 PS: the words that are underlined are linked to chapter notes with explanations and a dictionary ;) they're a little messy atm but i'm trying to find a way to make it easier

I disliked the royal castle. It was a dark hulking mass of stone that blocked out all the sunlight and drained all warmth from everything and everyone inside. It casted a massive shadow over its surroundings, and you were never free of the feelings of oppressiveness as soon as you were in its vicinity.

The moment you stepped in, you shivered and with every passing second you’d be colder and bitterer, sitting in a dark hallway feeling your fingers slowly freeze while the silence crushed you from all sides. The atmosphere was always sombre and tinged with the sour note of fear, you could see it in the way no one dared to speak, no one felt like smiling and all the servants were walking briskly with their heads down.

I disliked the castle, and I hated staying in it.

While of course, it was sitting on a big black rock by one of the rockiest and coldest shores in the empire, and the weather often reflected that with harsh winds and heavy rains; but the worst were the occupants, who managed to be colder and more inhospitable than the heavens themselves. They were the ones who made the structure so unwelcoming, who made you feel uncomfortable and who enjoyed belittling others until no one laughed unless it was at someone else’s expense. It was a hard world of ruthlessness and survival, but it was us who made all the beasts and the prey.

I disliked the castle, but I hated the people within even more.

You could almost taste all the blood and suffering soaked into these thick stone walls, the centuries of atrocities that took place inside looming over you and constricting your lungs, making you fight for every breath of stale joyless air.

But with my father being needed here so often, I couldn’t escape it no matter how much I wanted that. And now finally earning my acceptance between the elite ranks, I would be spending even more time here, would have to come to terms with moving onto the castle grounds, into the secluded barracks away in the farther corner of the royal training grounds.

I had grown up far away from the capital city. When I was born, it was still at the old house in the north, where there were just as many plains and meadows as there were mountains, and the summers were pleasant and warm and winters freezing and cruel.

Those were our lands and our estate, gifted to my great great-grandfather for his achievements in battles against the northern invasion, as he was considered a well respected general close to the emperor – and that’s where our family legacy began. We have always been a military family, but since then the Kang generals have always stayed as close to the royal family as possible, climbing the ranks and sticking their claws in deep.

And as fief lords, our patriarchs have never been particularly benevolent either, which might be a reason for why they got along with the nobles so well. The cruelty and coldness ran in their veins, just like all the powerful men that shared between each other the same arrogance and feelings of superiority, supporting each other in their worldviews and their own dominance.

It all was very embarrassing to witness – the pride of old men strutting around like peacocks and preening under each other’s compliments of their evildoing.

And my father was one of them.

He was one of the three generals closest to the throne, one of the right-hand men and a monster, much like the man with the crown himself. I scoffed at the image of him in my head – the pompous ass that thought he was infallible and carried himself like he was god, ruled his fief and his family with a cruel unforgiving hand and expected infallible loyalty and subservience of his children.

All of the men that were currently sitting in the room next to me, holding a meeting and discussing war, they were all cut from the same cloth. Power hungry, back-stabbing. And they wouldn’t hesitate to devour each other alive if the opportunity rose no matter how much they pretended to be allies.

Footsteps down the hall drew my attention and I looked up from my miserable little corner by the massive dark double door to see a small group of knights walk in. They crossed the hall in several quick strides and soon were knocking on the door by my left, giving me the opportunity to observe them for a moment.

They were the kingsguard, the white tiger insignia embroidered on their black and white uniforms giving their position away. It wasn’t that unusual seeing big clumps of the soldiers running around the castle, as the emperor was extremely paranoid about his safety, but these men seemed to be escorting someone else.

In the middle of the group there stood a beautiful tall man, elegant and lean with long silvery white hair. He didn’t even have to turn towards me for me to know he was a dragon, but when he did and I saw those cold steely eyes with vertical slit pupils, centuries of wisdom and pain reflecting through them, I knew for sure he was one of the sovereign’s own.

I nodded at him solemnly in sympathy, offering him at least a little decency, but the dragon just regarded me expressionlessly before turning forward again and waiting for the order to step in. I turned back to lean into my chair to give him peace, and only listened to the creak and shuffle of the opening door and the thunder of iron clad feet. Then the door slammed shut again and I was once more left alone in the hall.

This time it didn’t take long though, only a few minutes later the door opened once more, and this time stayed opened. With a long deep breath, I stood up and made my way in. I saw other young hopefuls slowly trickle in, filling in the counsel room and finding their way to their benefactor’s sides.

While the counsel is in a meeting, no one else is allowed inside, but after they are dismissed, usually there is some socialising and many of these men take the opportunity to flaunt their children or disciples. It’s all very boring and humiliating for the younglings involved, being paraded like a piece of meat or a trained monkey, but it was all to give these men face – the only thing they really cared about. Especially when it came to their children.

“Y/N, stop with the dilly-dallying!” a thunderous voice sounded from my right. It was the kind that demanded respect and attention, and the man knew very well how to use his aura to intimidate and break people into obedience. After all, confidence was half of the trick, I thought bitterly.

Taking a second to right my uniform, I steeled myself and turned, coming face to face with my father. His face was in that grimace that I’ve already come to know meant he was very close to getting angry because he thought my behaviour to be humiliating to him. I fought the scoff off of my face and walked over with confident strides.

My brother was already standing by our father’s side, face an unreadable mask and back as straight as a rod, only his eyes shooting subtle warnings my way. Great, that meant that the general was already in a bad mood from the meeting, and I was bound to lose no matter what I did.

As soon as I made it over to them, a hand clasped onto my shoulder in an iron grip and wrangled me to father’s side, as his face melted into an aggressively polite grimace, his smile turning almost shark-like.

“Gentlemen, I believe you haven’t been introduced to my daughter officially yet,” he started towards three men of similar age as my father, “she has just entered the Academy.” I sighed internally at the way their smiles turned sharp, sensing the weak spot in my father’s impeccable armour.

You see, I was somewhat of a disappointment to him. Well, I’ve been for a really long time, but back then it was a private affair. Now he had to face the ridicule in public, as I was a little bit of a late bloomer.

“Oh?” one of the men perked up, mean smile playing on his lips as he looked me over with condescension, “Congratulations, General Kang. What unit is she with?” Sensing the game the man was playing, I felt my father’s grip tighten until it was painful, constricting the movement of my wrist.

I winced, hoping I was able to keep the hurt expression off of my face, but nobody was really watching me anyway. Everyone was focused on the general, waiting with bated breath for his answer. The sounds of chatter from the room around us flowed freely around the tense atmosphere of our little corner, making the silence sound even louder.

Then he turned to me, stormy dark eyes signalling me that this was my battle to win. I forced my face into a similar polite smile, feeling kind of rusty at pandering to men I didn’t care about and hoping people couldn’t see how much I despised being here.

“I am with the Qinglong unit,” the answer finally fell out of my lips, my voice slightly weak and scratchy after sitting in silence for such a long time and I cleared my throat, embarrassed. The several sets of eyes jumped to me for a second, before redirecting to my father again.

“Ah, the dragon riders,” a different man stated, and I couldn’t tell from his voice whether he was impressed or not, which very obviously ruffled my father’s feathers. This was one of the few things he could boast about when it came to me, he’ll be damned if others didn’t recognise that.

“Yes, she will be attending a banquet very soon,” he supplied quickly, grip still strong on my arm and keeping me in place when I started nervously fidgeting. I looked to my brother, but he stood there without a single care for the conversation, eyes trained somewhere else in the room. Before I could follow his gaze, I was pulled back.

“Well, that is incredible,” the first man spoke again, the smirk still plastered on his face, “You must be so proud, you’ll surely award your daughter well with her 22nd birthday coming this year.” There were some snickers around and I knew we were in for something. This here was the killing point.

As many young people in this empire, I entered the military with my 16th birthday, which was the earliest one could start training at a base. While for me it was inevitable with the nature of our family, many other people chose to join just for the basic reason of needing food and shelter and soldiering was one of the easiest and surest ways to earn a stable keep for yourself and your family, so the input of fresh blood into the system was never-ending. The empire fought many wars and never had enough of willing knights, so entering the military was also very enthusiastically encouraged, leaving behind generations of mourning parents and social problems.

And yes, there were many opportunities for a knight to rise in ranks without ever stepping foot off of their mother base, they could climb quite high between the regional officials. But only a few dozens ever made it to the true top – and the only way there was through the Academy, situated in the capital and each year accepting only a handful of lucky knights.

There were several elite units, amongst which were the kingsguard and dragon riders, or the shadows as they were known – spies. Those who made it into this room were only the ones that went through there.

And the earliest age you could enlist into the Academy was 22. My brother was 27, therefore he’s been training there for 5 years now, which gained him quite the recognition in these circles (enough to allow him to listen in to these council meetings to learn). He of course made in on the first try, which was enough to not absolutely embarrass our father. Something, I wasn’t able to achieve.

The Qinglong unit, or as it was colloquially known as the horns, was one of the more elite and exclusive ones, harder to enter and harder to stay, just like shadows were, but that wasn’t something our father was interested in hearing.

And I failed in enlisting. Twice. I was now slightly over 24 years old, still young and still fully capable of making a name for myself, but not good enough to make my father proud to be associated with me.

As the highest standing general and one of the closest men to the emperor himself, he couldn’t afford to have children that didn’t succeed in everything on their first try. And of course, once the other elites caught the wind of this, it became a constant point of mockery for him. The only flaw in this man’s otherwise perfect life.

Which is why he was currently shooting daggers in my directions, the hateful stare burning into the side of my face as the question of my age was brought up. Once again, he made it clear that this was my mess to clean up, so I took a deep breath and turned back to the three men.

“Well… I uh- I have actually been training at the mother base for two additional years,” I stuttered out, trying to ignore my father’s embarrassed angry face. It was the nicest way to say that I wasn’t accepted two years in a row, but it still stung his pride, especially when the others started smirking.

One of them soon after launched into a story of how his daughter was actually accepted while she was still 20 years old, because they just had to make an exception for her, which then prompted all the others to share their own stories of success and talent coming from their protégées. It was absolutely disgusting, and I felt my father fuming next to me the whole time, in my mind begging the men to stop as I will have to face the consequences of his anger once home.

The jealousy and envy ran so thick that even the slightest sight of imperfection was shamelessly mocked and inspected over and over again, as everyone latched on the one thing they could feel better at than a general that climbed far higher than they could ever hope for. That’s why my father’s embarrassed anger burned even more – I knew he blamed me for this behaviour, since if I hadn’t failed, he wouldn’t have to face these things – he’d stay at the top, untouchable.

I silently swallowed, no longer daring to speak, knowing it would make the aftermath of my official introduction into high society less heavy.

The rest of the afternoon was painful and dragged on as I was forced to stay by my father’s side and listen to the mindless chatter and the occasional bragging about my brother. The general ignored me after the initial conversation and tried his best to pretend I wasn’t there, immediately derailing any enquiries that were raised about me and changing the topic before anyone could find the opportunity to make him admit my shortcomings again.

It didn’t particularly hurt, and it wasn’t especially punishing; I was used to such reception from the man, but it was painfully awkward and I wasn’t allowed to leave.

Instead I focused on catching glimpses of the silver haired dragon and the man whose side he similarly wasn’t allowed to leave. In contrast to his companion, he was clad all in gold, his robes heavily embroidered with leaves and other floral motifs, hands clasped elegantly in front of his stomach as he conversed with the crowd that was formed around him. His hair burned with a golden glow, but that might have been partly due to the crown sitting high on his head, adorned with blood red rubies. He was young, just two or three years older than my brother, freshly appointed but just as cruel (if not more) as his recently deceased father. You could see it in the lines of his face, in the cold glint in his eyes, the arrogance written into his every gesture and the permanent slip of a smirk.

Just from seeing him I knew he wasn’t a person worth knowing. How lovely that he was the one that sat on our throne.

The dragon by his side looked on with a practiced vacant glaze over his eyes, corners of his mouth weighted down by shadows only he knew of and carried in his heart and soul. My eyes slipped to his neck where a tattoo sat. It was in a spot that would always be visible, no matter how hard you tried, it was too high up to cover by clothing comfortably, forever showcasing who you were. A branding, a mark of slavery – a black chain wrapped around the neck. Every dragon bore it, some were even born with it. It was what bound them to the royal family and enforced their loyalty, what made them nothing more than unwilling puppets.

The man shifted and I quickly averted my eyes, not wanting him to see me looking at his mark. It was incredibly sensitive for dragons, and it brought them great shame when people ogled it, knowing this was what took away their freedom and bound them unconditionally to an uncaring master.

My heart bled for him, and it brought feelings of uneasiness about my own banquet that was about to take place in a few days. There I would choose my own dragon to bond with and start my formal training, but the queasiness about putting similar shackles on another being never quite ceased to bother me, no matter how much I knew my heart. I could treat the dragon as nice as possible; it wouldn’t erase the fact that formally we were a master and a slave.

Snippets of memories of my childhood resurfaced to my mind – a brown-haired man with warm eyes and a blinding smile, little slips of magic that endlessly fascinated me and all the lessons I’d learnt with him. The first dragon I ever knew. The kindest teacher I ever knew. The moments of warmth, love and laughter in the meadows and the forests up in the north.

A hand clasping my shoulder jolted me from my daydreaming and I flinched, a gasp leaving my mouth as I turned to the source of my sudden panic – coming face to face with my brother.

“Come, sister,” he said with voice neutral and a stone mask, the perfect picture of a promising young captain, “We’ve begun moving to the dining hall for dinner. You’re not paying attention again.”

I couldn’t even find it in me to be irritated by his slight jab, so I simply tightly pursed my lips shut and gave him a curt nod. He wrestled me into position so that he was leading me on his arm, trying to prevent any more delays and potentially adding to the long list of reasons why our father’s day was going as badly as it was. Bonus points for flashing our strong camaraderie to the lords.

“Don’t push him anymore, today’s been hard for him,” the young knight whispered lightly as we joined others slowly moving through the castle corridors. That had me ruffled a little, but I swallowed any remarks and nodded. Some days you truly did need to choose your battles and today was such day. And deep down I knew my brother was trying to look out for me in his own way, but that didn’t make it sting any less whenever he chided me in favour of our father.

“Yes, brother,” came my faux demure reply before I sealed my lips shut once more. That earned me a side-eye from the dark-haired man, who knew I was the furthest one could be from a quiet obedient lady, but chose not to call me out on the obvious piss-taking. He only sighed, shoulders sagging lightly, no doubt grateful I at least agreed with him so readily.

There’s been some dramatic scenes in my past as I reached my “rebellious phase” as father put it, but quickly that fire died within me when I realised it made everything only worse. As I grew, I chose silence as the survival method – causing scenes, screaming matches and throwing tantrums only served to humiliate us both; and perhaps I did have a little piece of my father in me – I also cared about my face.

Once I entered the base, it reflected on me badly amongst peers and instructors, giving me the reputation of a spoiled little brat. No matter the emotional turmoil I had been going through at that time, I knew it was time for a change of tactic – I needed respect to survive in the military and I would get it. Not for my father, but for myself.

Upon entering the room, I looked up and immediately found the eyes of the man himself trained on me, some new vague warning reflecting in them trying to keep me quiet and not causing any problems.

I sighed and resigned myself for the worst evening in recent history.

The reflection in my mirror stared back at me as I tried to push my clothes around to look as presentable as they could, the uniform still a little foreign to me. It was black silk cheollik with silver embroidery and it was tied at the side into an elegant bow. As tradition dictated, my father had given me a gift for the successful entry into Academy and it now adorned my waist – a deep red intricately woven string with a prosperity knot and grey jade pearls at the end – they jingled lightly at every nervous shift of my body.

This was the ceremonial uniform, as I still haven’t gotten my unit’s specific one – not until I bonded with a dragon – and it was brand new, it still smelt unworn and fit strangely over me, still adapting to my physique.

I would keep this one, but wear it rarely – usually there weren’t many instances when people wouldn’t take the chance to flaunt their unit, especially if they were at the top of the food chain, but I liked it. It was simple and elegant, and while the Qinglong also wore a similar one, it wasn’t embroidered and had azure details, and I found it a little too eye-catching.

Giving myself another look, I ended up sighing deeply, hands smoothing over the cold silk for the thousandth time in a last attempt to make it look a little more natural, thoughts finding their way towards the image of my mother. My sweet mother, who if she was here would tell me everything would be alright, that it looked perfect and I would do well. I imagined the feel of her gentle hands in my hair and on my shoulders, letting the memories of her soft voice soothe me.

The train of thought pierced my heart with pain that always manifested itself when I fell down this rabbit hole, my eyes naturally sliding towards the table which held all of her kind-hearted words in the form of letters she’s send over the years I haven’t seen her. But as always, everything I ever felt left a little aftertaste of rage towards my father, so I quickly abandoned this line of thought as well. Syphoning all the emotions out of me, I turned back into my numbed self that always surfaced around the family home.

Picking up the ceremonial dagger I finally set out, swiftly moving through the house in hopes of not bumping into the man himself. What rotten luck I had, as always.

The moment I stepped foot into the inner yard, there he was, sitting on the terrace by his study, sipping tea and watching me with his critical eyes. I could feel them sliding over me, making sure everything was in place. I said nothing, steadily returning his gaze while I wordlessly worked on the dagger strap, fashioning it under the red string.

“Remember what I told you last week, Y/N,” the general spoke, his face impassive even though there was fire underneath it all, and I could feel it all too well, “You are to make good impressions. I expect you to excel in this unit. Your brother is already being considered for corporal, do not stain this for him. Your unit has higher ranks too. One of them better be of my blood.”

I kept my mouth shut, just bowing to him in lieu of answer, but I was sure he could see the cocktail of anger and resentment brewing in my eyes. Choosing not to address that, he waved me off as if I was waiting for his permission to leave. Without a second glance I bowed again and promptly walked out the main gate.

If tonight went well, this was potentially one of the last times I walked out this specific house – our residence while we stayed in the capital city of Wuyun, close to the castle and royal grounds with the Academy in tow. If tonight went well, soon I’d find myself in the barracks, and I dreaded that day.

Unfortunately, family legacy tended to follow us all, no matter where we went and what we did. Children often went in their parents’ footsteps, making the Academy the breeding ground of resentment and generation long slights and fights. And there was a lot accumulated against the Kangs.

Back when my brother first joined, before he turned into the man he is today – while he still talked to me, he told me how disliked he was for the simple association. No matter what he did, he couldn’t escape his father’s shadow. I was next.

I would be able to walk over the distance from our house towards the main entrance of the castle blind-folded, and it passed quicker than I was ready for, suddenly finding myself standing at the foot of the entrance hall. Just at the end was the entryway towards the throne room, where the emperor accepted hearings, and I made sure to avoid it at the off chance that the man was present there currently.

It took me little time to arrive at the Eastern Grand Hall, but I found that most have already gathered there. It was a flurry of black and blue robes with the occasional splash of colour from other present lords, the hum of chatter and clinking of cutlery on metal plates that were typically used for military events, as if we were a bunch of animals that couldn’t be trusted with porcelain. I couldn’t spot anyone else wearing the plain Academy robes and I had no idea how many were accepted this year, so I slowly inserted myself into the frenzy hoping to blend in.

Turns out, it’s hard to do that when everyone either knows you’re the newbie or even realises which family you belong to, and I was getting a lot of looks as I leisurely walked along the table laid out with foods and drinks pretending not to notice. Some were mocking, some were apprehensive, and some were calculative, either way I had no interest in socialising.

It felt like ages have passed while I quietly ate by the end of the main table, gaze trained on a painting on the opposite wall, high above everybody’s head, but it wasn’t even time to officially begin the banquet yet. I was already feeling tired by all this, hoping this would be over with quickly so I could leave.

“I see that you’re getting some attention as well,” a cheery voice from my left shook me out of my reverie as I traced the golden lines of the knight portraiture for the thousandth time, and I turned somewhat dramatically, eyes open wide.

A woman stood there, it was hard to gauge her age, but she wore the same black and silver uniform, signalling she was also a first-year. Her pretty face was split by a friendly smile, eyes crinkling at the corners and her chestnut brown hair was shoved into a messy bun, clearly without a care for propriety. Her joy was quite disarming and before I even realised what I was doing, I was shaking her outstretched hand, still in shock. Her grip was strong, hands sure and decisive.

“Im Hwa-young, nice to meet you,” she said confidently, and I gaped at her slightly. Im was a disgraced surname, and no one who still had the curse of bearing it said it out loud anymore for fear of being recognised as a part of the Im clan after its fall and near annihilation. Whispers about treason and God’s punishment still followed those who survived, and many of the family disappeared from the public, hoping to escape the burden.

“I know, in the flesh,” Hwa-young continued with good spirits, obviously used to people’s reactions, “he was my uncle, before you ask.” I saw a flash of annoyance in her, something maybe like disappointment crossing her face as she began to withdraw her hand. In a split-second decision I grabbed it again, just as hard as she did before.

“Kang Y/N,” I gave her my name, making sure to look into her eyes, “and I wasn’t about to ask.” Hwa-young beamed at me, relief seeping into her as she sidled over to me almost as if we’ve known each other for years.

“Good to know I won’t be suffering here alone,” she remarked with a conspiratorial lilt, “I was afraid I’d be the only outcast in this unit.” I scoffed at her words, bringing a biscuit to my lips to mask my amusement from the others who were watching us with rapt interest.

“I never disappoint when it comes to disappointment,” there was something bitter creeping into my voice, tainting the joke with a smudge of reality, but Hwa-young was a good sport. She laughed lightly, head tilting back, looking so care-free it was helping me wind down.

Just as my shoulders begun to untense, a gong sounded through the Hall, tearing me away from the budding conversation. We both jolted and looked towards the head of the table where a greying man stood, his stance proud and strong. Light stubble decorated his wearied face, but it didn’t hide the handsomeness of an experienced warrior. I could feel the authority and respect radiating off of him, as everyone in the room turned to give him their undivided attention without needing a single word.

“Welcome novices,” he said simply, his voice was a little rough, but it held stead-fast and strong, booming through the silent hall, “to your first mating banquet. May your hunt be successful.” Clearly a man of few words, he quickly raised his glass and drank it in one go, a thunderous clap tearing through the space before the hungry faces turned to those who were the main interest of the evening.

I quickly scanned through the room, almost breaking my neck with how much I strained to see everywhere, hoping to catch a glimpse of other first-years. There was a young man standing alone by one of the entrances, and another group of two guardedly conversing closer to the head of the table, where the silver-haired man sat now completely uninterested in anything except for his food. To his right sat a dragoness, watching him with amusement and playing with her bright red hair, lips moving in what seemed to be teasing manner.

I watched their interaction for a moment longer, before Hwa-young turned my attention back to her, hand lightly grabbing onto my forearm as the woman leaned in closer to whisper: “The dragons have arrived.”

Snapping my head back towards the crowd, truly I could see newcomers – men and women with strong stances and shackles around their necks, faces either very carefully neutral or openly scowling at being paraded so openly. They mingled through the crowd, not really entertaining any looks or conversations.

“How many of us do you think there is?” I asked her, no longer being able to see the three students I discovered before. Hwa-young hummed, but ultimately shrugged her shoulders – I could feel the motion of them against my side more than I saw her.

“We should probably split up,” she whispered in the end, leaning away once more and slowly taking a step back, sending a cheeky smile my way, “See you around, fellow outcast.” With that she disappeared into the crowd so quickly I was actually concerned for several seconds before snapping out of it.

Left alone again, I had no other choice but to face the most challenging part of this event – socialising with my peers. All around me, people were conversing freely, some dragons even joining in their circles (most probably with their own bondeds) and the mood started rising again; though I could see some still watching me like vultures, curious who I’d choose to talk to.

For the moment, the most suitable strategy seemed to step back and observe, so I quickly manoeuvred myself through the throngs of people until I was leaning against a back wall. Right across me, across the whole hall, was the high-table where people tended to congregate more.

A flash of black and silver uniform alerted me to a novice that was conversing with a group of older students, but I couldn’t recognise whether it was one of the few I saw before or not. Slumping against the cold stone, I started searching through the crowds for someone that would be easy to approach.

I had no idea how much time I spent standing there, but at some point I started feeling the soreness and pain in my legs and feet crying for me to sit down. Shuffling slowly by the wall to the side towards chairs, my plan was suddenly thwarted by two men who made short of the distance with quick long strides, situating themselves into the corner.

Lucky bastards, the lot of them.

I stayed where I was, sighing tiredly and still undecided, when their conversation started up again.

“I hate that they call it a mating banquet,” the bigger of the two grumbled with a pout, “that’s clearly not what this is.” His head was shrouded in a very messy black bob haircut and small dark horns were protruding from his forehead, standing proudly with some strands tangled up around them and sticking out in weird angles. I held back a chuckle, bringing a glass with some sweet drink I’d managed to grab from the table to my lips quickly.

The other man sat more angled towards me and when he looked up, I had the best view in the entire room at his otherworldly beautiful face. I couldn’t hold back the gasp when I laid my eyes on him, the elegance and beauty he was exuding was truly almost too much for a mere mortal to handle. At first it seemed like his face actually glimmered, a slight shimmering catching my eyes constantly, before I realised his cheekbones and temples were covered in silvery blue scales. They blended into his skin perfectly and I found myself fighting a blush without him even having to look my way, that kind of effect he had on his surroundings.

Time to get it together, I told myself, slowly shuffling away and reprimanding myself internally for being a weirdo. And then he spoke.

“Bonding banquet doesn’t have such a ring to it, I suppose,” a melodic voice piped up, fading into a slight giggle at the end, “Though, something tells me if you were to show them what mating looks like, they wouldn’t be very entertained.” The horned dragon grumbled some more, clearly over this whole thing already.

“I wish Yoongi hyung came,” his voice sounded really pouty and whiney, making me silently snicker to myself again, “I bet he would have found a way to leave already. Or he’d terrify people enough to leave us alone.” At least we clearly were in the same boat, cheers to that.

Before I realised what was happening, because I was not so discreetly watching the two interact with a slight smile on my face like a dummy, there were quick heavy footsteps heading my way. I quickly snapped out of it as soon as I clocked that the person was aiming at me, and cursed under my breath when I saw Lord Kim with his fake predatory grin.

“The Kang youngling, what a surprise to see you here finally,” the man spoke loudly enough to have everyone in our vicinity snapping their heads to him and pushing all the attention to me. I pressed myself harder into the wall, the polite smile somewhat malfunctioning when he barrelled all the way into my personal space.

“Baron Kim, to what do I owe the pleasure?” came out through gritted teeth, the man clearly not understanding the meaning of boundaries. With every step away I took, he came closer, leaving us in an awkward shuffling match.

“Well, of course I have to welcome General Kang’s daughter to our unit, he wouldn’t want it any other way," the elderly man said sleazily, a disgusting grin plastered on his ugly mug. I had to fight not to laugh at his words – our unit? He’s never been a part of Qinglong, but he always wished for it – so instead he bought his way in. As a benefactor he was always invited and properly talked up with sweet, honeyed words, he even managed to wheedle a dragon out of them (though from what I understand, he didn’t ride as he was afraid of hights). I could only imagine what that poor man went through with this lowlife as his master.

“I’m sure my father would be happy to know I’m in such good hands,” I punched out of myself, the lie almost causing me physical pain. With most people who tried to gain the Kangs’ favour, it was hard to tell whether they really admired my father so much they turned insane or whether they secretly hated him and hated that they had to simper up to him; and that much could be said about Lord Kim as well.

Who knows where that old man’s loyalty lied and what his goals were, but the truth was that my father despised him and thought him to be an idiot.

While he started poetically voicing his well wishes and praises of the unit, I had a goal. Just a few metres away from me was an arch with glass doors open wide. As the second part of this event would take place outside, the garden there was already prepared and all I had to do was slip out and disappear quietly.

But between me and the open door sat the two dragons I had been listening to earlier, both of which had shut up now and watched my plight with varying degrees of interest and amusement, much like many others around us. When I glanced at the door again and happened to see the dark-haired dragon badly covering a cheeky smirk, clearly laughing at my expense, my eyes narrowed at him in faux anger.

The man had whole three seconds to realise I had seen him and take in my expression, before I side-stepped with the brightest smile I could muster and gestured towards the duo. Both of them froze like I just caught them stealing my grandma’s jewellery, wide eyes regarding me.

“Well, I was just about to come speak with these gentlemen, would you mind introducing me?” the overly sugary tone of my voice made the dragon’s eyes narrow at me in turn and when Lord Kim wasn’t watching I turned to him with a shit-eating grin. Truly, the baron was a curse that had to be shared, who was I to deny them the pleasure of his company?

The old man was clearly surprised with me jumping into his monologuing, eyes hopping between the three of us with his mouth hanging open slightly before he recovered and put on another polite smile.

“But of course!” he took it in stride, immediately sliding to the horned dragon’s side and clapping him on the shoulder lightly, which made the young man straighten. The obvious strength of his muscles and the wideness of his shoulders stood out even more like that, and it looked almost comical next to the stuttering Lord. He looked mildly afraid, but soldiered on, like a cursed auctioneer.

“Only the best for the general’s daughter, I see,” the flattery slipped out of his mouth with practiced ease before he once again gestured to the two young men, “these are two of the members of the Bangtan thunder.” Now it was my turn to freeze as those words poured over me.

Everything screeched to a halt and my eyes involuntarily jumped to the dragons who looked significantly more smug, sending cheeky teasing grins my way at having the rug pulled from under me like that. I could only imagine what kind of shock displayed on my face, but they seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it.

After the emperor’s personal thunder of dragons, which wasn’t a true thunder due to the fact that he was the one who collected them instead of them bonding naturally, Bangtan was the second most known. They’ve been mated for as long as anyone currently alive (and many generations before that) could remember and hosted seven of some of the most powerful dragons known to be currently existing. And while they’ve had riders before, everyone was aware that the sovereign himself didn’t like to see when people bonded them due to their strength and unbreakable pack loyalty.

Thus some of the dragons from the thunder were known as their own entities, based on their powers and achievements, turning into a sort of living legends that walked among humans but could rarely be seen or touched. Really, I should have known the second one of them mentioned Yoongi, but I didn’t even realise that was the name uttered.

Everybody who was interested in dragons knew of these seven, even if the chances of seeing them were low.

“This one here is Jungkook,” Lord Kim continued completely unperturbed, clapping the bigger dragon on his back again, although much more hesitantly, and then he pointed at the ethereally beautiful man, “and that one is Jimin.”

The blush was back under the intense scrutiny of the silver-scaled man, and all I could think of while I put the face to the name was that it made perfect sense. Of course he was someone this unreal, with all the stories about his charms and seductions that were being told by people who encountered the thunder.

He seemed to be satisfied with flustering me, a small smile setting onto his lips in victory.

Now that I thought about it, it was true that people naturally avoided these two, and there was a circle of empty space around the armchairs as even now people hesitated to move closer and join in the conversation. Everyone seemed to be aware of their identity.

I mentally face-palmed myself. I was supposed to be a knight, perception was supposed to be one of my strong suits.

“Come on boys,” Lord Kim drawled out again, “Greet the young Kang.” Silence followed, stretching between us awkwardly while the elderly man became more wooden with each second passing, red setting into his face in embarrassment and indignation at being ignored so blatantly. Then, both of them nodded slightly.

I bowed to them fully, bending at the waist in a (hopefully) perfect 90 degrees angle, hands clasped in front of my chest in a gesture of respect.

“It is an honour to meet you, sir Jimin and sir Jungkook,” it’s obvious my politeness shocked them, as the moment I come back up their eyes are wide and staring at me. Lord Kim started grumbling something about ungrateful dragons, feeling ashamed at such a lukewarm welcome from the boys, and the moment he wasn’t looking, I flashed them a teasing smirk.

Thankfully Lord Kim got interrupted once again in the middle of his tearful tirade and with many apologies he rushed off, the relief visible as his shoulders sagged the moment he wasn’t anywhere near the Bangtan dragons.

The three of us watched him for a moment before our eyes redirected back to each other, a strange but not unpleasant atmosphere hanging over us. Before I could start feeling the silence turn awkward, Jimin’s eyes narrowed at me, but there was still a slight upwards curl to his lips.

“Now, that wasn’t very nice,” he drawled out in his melodic hypnotic voice, eyes dark and stormy. I flushed from head to toe, thoughts stuttering, still not used to being perceived by someone like him, and it still served to amuse him greatly as he leaned back into the armchair.

Jungkook over at his chair watched me with a mischievous expression, his big dark eyes making him seem so innocent if it wasn’t for the cheeky curl to his lips. I realised there were several piercings all over his face and ears, strangely fitting his persona quite well, and as he squirmed in his seat, I could see tattoos peeking out of his robe’s sleeves. His tongue peeked out a little as he smirked at me, preparing to speak as well.

“You were laughing at me,” I beat him to it, batting my eyelashes in faux sweetness, “Of course I had to repay you for that.” The two dragons scoffed, making themselves more comfortable and I could see the exact moment the apprehension bled out of them, and I wasn’t deemed a threat anymore.

“Well, welcome to the unit newling,” Jungkook said, and it hit me that even though he looked very young for a dragon, he was still most likely hundreds of years old, and I choked a little on the smart retort. The man must have realised that’s what happened, because he was smirking up a storm like a little shit.

To my surprise, I also found myself relaxing in their presence, the ease with which we interacted never really came to me this readily. I was mostly stiff and nervous and dancing around topics and words in fear of offending or giving people excuses to spread rumours and mock my father. Not that I particularly cared about his image, but because I knew I would be the one to reap the consequences if something uncouth started making its way through the high society. I didn’t feel such pressure with these two, who watched me with curious but frank eyes.

“That is most definitely a nicer welcome than Lord Kim,” I muttered absent-mindedly, half-way lost in thought, wracking my brain for the last time I talked with someone with this much elation. Jimin giggled at that, drawing my attention back to him with a little bit of a leftover fluster from before.

“Don’t worry, everyone in this room shares that opinion,” he said leisurely, laid back in his chair elegantly, “He tends to annoy everyone he speaks to. Especially our kin.” Jungkook nodded at that, something dark and solemn creeping into his eyes.

“He doesn’t know the meaning of manners,” the horned dragon supplied darkly, face hard and unfriendly as he caught sight of the older human man again. I nodded in sympathy, knowing very well how the man could get.

“Lord Kim is one of those people who never leave you alone once they realise they can benefit from you,” I added to the conversation, moving a little closer to the armchairs so that I could lower my voice and make sure none of the nosey onlookers caught onto our conversation. The man might be generally disliked, but I still wouldn’t be taking any chances while gossiping like this.

“He’s been trying to get into my father’s favour for years, but he absolutely despises him,” I shared with them, the open secret not really something that had to be kept hush even though no one normally said it out loud, “Father thinks he’s a right dunce.”

The boys grinned. “Well, he’s right about that. I’ve known the man for decades and he hasn’t changed a single bit,” Jimin added his two cents, once again reminding me that I was speaking to nigh immortal beings that have been around for far longer than I was able to comprehend, “He’s a snake. A rat.” I hummed and nodded again, the conversation dying down after that.

I looked through the room from my new vantage point, finally far enough to observe as no one really wanted to approach the corner with the two Bangtan dragons.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just about them being powerful and dangerous, but the emperor’s habit to control who rode them in fear of losing his power over them generally scared people away from interacting. Therefore, the only ones that were bonded to them were either recruited by the ruler himself or found themselves under his intense scrutiny. Because of that, riders tended to stray away from the Bangtan thunder, too afraid to bring unto themselves the sovereign’s ire.

My eyes were caught on a flash of black and silver, messy bun now somehow even more messed up as Hwa-young cheerfully conversed with another woman. The power was radiating off of her powerful stance and proud straight shoulders, dark charcoal hair falling freely over them and sometimes giving off dark green flashes when the light reflected off of them just right. Their stance was relaxed, and it seemed that their chat was going well and amicably.

“Your friend is conversing with Yong,” Jimin intercepted my shameless staring, and I realised both of the dragons were watching me raptly, “She is a righteous dragoness. A good one, strong and brave, even though a little hard-headed.” Jungkook snickered at that, hiding his smile behind his hand as the dragoness threw the subtlest little amused look their way, and I realised she must have heard them all across the room with her enhanced senses.

“The old ones always are,” the tattooed man added with a teasing lilt to his voice and both dragons watched giggling as the one called Yong discreetly flipped them off while pretending to dust off her shoulder. Hwa-young at this point seemed to catch on, I saw her confused face as she turned around and immediately brightened up the moment she noticed me, waving her hand enthusiastically. I returned it, just as amused as my companions.

“Are you not interested in ‘the hunt’?” Jimin asked me suddenly, something bitter creeping into his expression as he signalled air quotes around the word. I gazed at him for a few quiet moments, taking in the abrupt tenseness in his posture.

“I was trying to observe and find someone easy to approach,” I answered truthfully, “but then Lord Kim found me. I never got around to walking up to someone.” All three of us focused back onto the place swarming with people, the boys now amusing themselves by pointing out dragons that weren’t talking to anyone and had “good potential”.

“Are you trying to get rid of me right now?” I asked laughing, jumping into Jungkook’s long monologue about a young fire dragon standing alone in a corner few metres away from us. He halted in the middle of a word, giving me a cheeky glance and I already started recognising the mischievous glint in his smile.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you from finding your dragon,” he drawled out in a playful manner, looking like he was two seconds away from batting his eyelashes at me, “and since you didn’t officially declare your intent to try a bond with us, I assume you must be wanting to be on your way to meet another one.” That took all the wind from my sails, the witty retort dying on my tongue as the dragons both looked at me with mischievous eyes.

“I honestly didn’t know that was an option,” came out a little scratchy and quiet, immediately making my cheeks burst into flames as the two dragons regarded me with teasing eyes.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Jungkook proclaimed cheerily and stood up abruptly. Suddenly he was towering good two heads over me, his wide sturdy shoulders almost casting a shadow over my form. I gulped, seeing him now in his full glory, it suddenly made sense as to why people thought him to be intimidating. Even though he seemed to be a little goof.

Jungkook then did something that shocked not only me and Jimin, but also everyone standing around keeping an eye on the interaction – he offered me his hand, free of gloves that dragons always wore. Stunned speechless I eyed the outstretched appendage for a few tense moments, out of the corner of my eye noting Jimin’s mouth hanging open, face wearing an expression of such open surprise it was almost comical. There were some gasps and whisperings from behind us, Jungkook’s gaze ever so often jumping over my shoulder and levelling someone with a glare.

The reason for such reaction was a quite simple one – this plain action was the whole purpose of this banquet. Well, at least partly.

I for once wasn’t expecting to get a handshake this easily, usually dragons guarded themselves and needed a lot more persuading before they even considered taking such a step with the potential riders, but here we were – Jungkook’s hand awkwardly hanging in the air between us as he grew exponentially more nervous with every second I didn’t take it.

The easiest way to describe the link between a dragon and its rider would be to call it a magical bond, one very similar to that of mated pairs and thunders. Bonds like these linked the two beings together closer than most humans could imagine. It was very important to cultivate the bond and grow it strong, to intertwine the two hearts and support the care and trust that needed to exist between the two, otherwise even strong bonds could easily deteriorate or the connection wouldn’t reach its full potential.

It also allowed the human part of the bond to benefit from the dragon’s magic (while vast majority of humans weren’t magic, we were pretty compatible with it if borrowed) – it enhanced the rider’s senses and strength, established a mind link and enabled telepathic communication, which was sorely needed while on dragonback (believe it or not, it was hard to talk to someone while flying at high velocity sitting on their back).

And a bond like this, like any other, required a certain compatibility. Dragons, as the higher level magical beings of the two, were mostly the ones who felt the potential someone carried to successfully establish a bond, but the easiest way to find out was physical contact. Once you touched, the potential would most definitely be felt (according to what I heard, it felt a little like an electric hum passing through the place of contact) – or not, based on the situation.

That’s why they usually wore their hands covered, to avoid accidental connections and half-way there bonds.

A dragon could have several potential bondeds, it wasn’t exclusive until one was chosen to take the next step, but once this compatibility was discovered, it was crucial to try and learn the person to aid in the process of decision making. It was slightly similar to the process of courting.

Due to these reasons, it was quite rare for a dragon to offer someone the opportunity to touch them – and find out whether they were potentially compatible.

This banquet, even though it was called the mating banquet (as the boys pointed out it should be more of a bonding banquet as mating happened exclusively between couples and thunders), this banquet was more of a getting to meet your options kind of deal. Rarely someone offered you their hand after only a few exchanged sentences.

Thus, the stunned silence stretched between the three of us and an expectant kind of hunger reflected in eyes of those around us. Had I been more in the headspace to take notice of my surroundings, I’d have realised the hum of conversation somewhat lulled as people noted the situation and kept one eye on us while they pretended to keep the chatter up.

Jimin sat frozen in his chair, his face mortified, as if Jungkook committed some cardinal faux-pas (which he probably did to be honest, dragon etiquette was a little bit different than the human one), and I would almost take offence to it if I wasn’t completely stupefied myself.

The cheeky dragon in question though seemed completely unperturbed, even as nervousness started tugging at his handsome smile, but he valiantly tried to withstand it, keeping the hand hanging and his face a picture of mischief.

And I found that I quite liked the total disregard of rules he presented.

Finally gathering my bearings, I felt my own face stretch into a sassy grin and without a moment more of hesitation I grabbed his hand and squeezed it firmly in a sure handshake. And the rumours were in fact true, though the extent was sorely understated – our energies merging in a single burst of raw potential felt like a shock of electricity running from the tips of my fingers all the way up to my shoulder, the aftershocks buzzing through me like I got hit by lightning.

I gasped, a little too loud, and instinctively went to rip my hand away from the grip, but Jungkook didn’t let me. His eyes were trained on me, subtly glowing with a dark purple haze, grin turning a little sharper. But it didn’t put me on edge, quite the opposite – it felt like I won something.

Then our hands let go and the spell was broken, the remnants of a shimmering haze setting into my mind and bones. I could still feel the phantom tingles in my fingers, and they flexed almost subconsciously, trying to chase away the foreign sensation.

“Wow,” came a quiet breathless exclamation from Jimin, the smaller man still sitting in his place but now looking at our hands with wonder and disbelief, “that was strong.” The flush immediately flooded my cheeks once more (truly, it was starting to be embarrassing, I’d never been like this around anyone, though it could have something to do with the fact that I generally liked dragons a little more than I did humans) and I took a tiny step back, fighting my lungs to expand and take in more breath, my whole body feeling like I had to manually haul it back into working order.

Though one look at my now potential bonded showed me that he was similarly blushing, cheeks a healthy pink colour, lips pursed in a shy smile and eyes watching me full of emotion that was entirely too fragile and tender.

Before I could blurt out something that could potentially either embarrass or straight hurt the man, Jimin immediately jumped in, probably sensing his mate’s emotional state.

“Sorry about that,” he told me, gently looking over his lover, “Bonds of this strength can sometimes put us into a strange mindset. He’ll be back to himself in a few moments.” The silvery dragon’s mouth opened and closed a few times, the man deliberating whether he should speak more or not, but ultimately he only gave me a tight smile and started manhandling Jungkook back into the chair.

I felt that there was something crucial that wasn’t shared to me, but if Jimin thought it too personal to say, I didn’t want to push him. I myself still felt the little bursts of our energies merging, the aura around my hand suddenly feeling cold and empty, as if it was missing a significant piece.

Leave it to me to be the one person that even has a clingy aura. I glared at the offending appendage as if scolding it, quickly folding both my arms behind my back and trying to make is as natural as possible. Even my hair felt singed with the potential bond manifesting, and I swore I could smell something burnt, only hoping it either wasn’t something visible or my mind was just playing tricks on me.

“I’ve never felt anything like that before,” a hushed whisper made it to me and I was torn away from my own musings, attention now back to the two men who seemed to be locked in a very private exchange, both leaned towards each other and whispering so that nothing but a hum could be heard.

Realising the words weren’t meant for me, I cleared my throat and took another step back, the singed hand quickly thrown in the direction of the buffet table in a last hail mary attempt to find an appropriate escape. “I am going to…” I started, voice still a little breathless, “I want something to drink, would you also like something?”

I could see on Jimin’s face before he even opened his mouth to speak that he was going to decline, but Jungkook quickly jumped in, his volume rising a little more than he was anticipating.

“I’ll have water!” the horned dragon seemed a little embarrassed by the outburst too, but when Jimin stared at him incredulously he seemed quite unapologetic. I nodded slowly, taking another step, then nodded again like the words just registered in my mind.

“Sure.” With that I woodenly walked over to the main table that dominated the Grand Hall.

I felt the looks, some curious, some envious and some outright raging, but I ignored them all. This, for now, still meant nothing. Even though the power of it shocked us both (all three if counted Jimin), it meant nothing. I was still one of many that could vie for the young dragon’s attention.

The thought left a bad aftertaste in my mouth, a strange uncomfortable feeling setting in my stomach at the prospect of someone else trying to be Jungkook’s bonded, and I quickly pushed those feelings away, grumbling to myself.

I thought I knew what to expect, but no one told me a bond felt like this. No one warned me it would mess with my head and with my mind, send my heart racing when I faced the image of losing the chance to bring this to a successful end. I only knew the man for barely an hour, for fuck’s sake! He didn’t even express an intention to pursue this!

I slowly begun to understand why it was generally more accepted to wait to know the person a little bit more, if this was how the link manifested.

Giving myself a metaphorical slap I swiftly wrangled the reigns safely back into my logical side’s hands and fully focused on finding a cup and water.

I more felt than saw a presence at my right, someone sidling up to me closer than necessary with how much space this table took up. Still a little emotionally charged, when I turned to confront this person, I was already irritated.

What greeted me was a sleazy smile on a middle-aged face, a greying stubble and a mop of dark slowly silvering hair. The man was human, that much was obvious, and there was a woman with a judgemental look on her face hanging off of his arm, most probably his wife. I gave them both a once-over, trying to take in as many details as possible to clue me in to the man’s identity, but he would no doubt introduce himself.

My eyes promptly caught on an insignia with a burning rising sun, meaning he was one of the councilmen – he must have been very well acquainted with my family, though his name continued to escape me. I sighed, shoulders slumping and then I forced on a polite smile.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” despite the words, my voice didn’t speak of pleasure nor joy, instead the annoyance bled in quite heavily, almost to a point of being rude. The duo didn’t seem phased, the man’s smile maybe even brightening at my words and the woman’s face still in the same grimace as before.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced yet,” he started immediately, ignoring my words and tone completely, “Please, call me Lord Lee.” He offered me his hand and I had a very brief but a very intense flashback to Jungkook’s, before I shook it off and very reluctantly took it.

“Are you perhaps the Duke of Western territories?” I enquired, forcing my attention back to the table to show him I wasn’t interested in him and his words, trying to sound as bored as possible.

A chuckle came from him, the woman still completely silent, before he shuffled even closer.

“The one and only,” there was a showman lilt to his intonation, and I felt a wave of distaste towards this man so strong I almost visibly shuddered. He thought he was so charismatic, the poor sod. I only hummed, hands now moving onto one of the few untouched platters of small desserts and quickly plating some.

A moment of silence, then more shuffling – this time thankfully not closer to me as that would entail him brushing my side, though I wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t do that even in the middle of a room full of armed knights.

“I just felt that congratulations were in order,” he said finally, a lot more bite to his words now that I’ve managed to offend him, “We all saw you with that dragon.” My hands paused minutely before resuming their actions. The disrespectful address to Jungkook didn’t escape me neither.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lord Lee,” I answered sweetly, “It was just an introduction. It can still go in a very different direction. Nothing is set in stone. Yet.”

It seemed that the man didn’t come over to suck my father’s dick as my sass was very much not appreciated by him and I could see his face turn into an unfriendly scowl.

“Well, of course that the Kang family cannot disappoint by not aiming straight at Bangtan,” the hostility in his stance suddenly doubled as he spit this out, forcing me to take a step back from the unfiltered fury, “Only the best for the general’s daughter.” He was mocking me, but the anger made it hard to decipher it as anything else than pure envy.

I tried to keep my face neutral, even as my own anger and resentment resurfaced. Father made many enemies, and thanks to his attitude we as his children often caught the brunt of resentful disgruntled councilmen and their offspring trying to cope with their bruised egos by punishing us instead of the untouchable man.

And we were expected to just go with it, lest our behaviour reflects badly on him.

I stared at the duke for a moment longer, trying to look as unimpressed as humanly possible, until the fire died down within him a little and he started shuffling on his spot. “Lord Lee,” I started, channelling the disappointed teacher energy that my father often had whenever we displeased him, “as I said, and you should know this, anyone can come up to them and strike up a connection. I might not be the only person this year compatible to them.”

The man pursed his lips and didn’t speak any further, though the unspoken rebuttal hung in the air between us. And I knew that the words stuck in his throat were true, but he couldn’t say them for they were too daring.

Anyone couldn’t, I did because the emperor approved of my father. I would be allowed near Bangtan thanks to my father’s position.

I raised my eyebrow at the suddenly silent man, challenging him to speak his mind, but he knew if he said those words, it would be speaking out against the crown just as much as against my father. And that could cost him his life.

“Let’s hope the most suitable person wins this race, then,” he settled on finally, and without even looking for my reaction he turned on his heel and walked away, dragging the still quiet woman with him. I scoffed loudly, not bothering to hide it as everyone saw our interaction anyway, and finally was able to leave the table.

People moved out of my way cautiously as I walked through the room, trying to pretend that they weren’t paying attention to me and still making sure to clear the spot as soon as I neared them like I had some terrible contagious disease. It was quite ridiculous, and it left a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My feet carried me across the room without any clear goal in my mind, not quite ready to return to the two dragons, especially since everyone saw the scene now. Them two no doubt also heard it with their strong hearing, and it would be too awkward to speak to them now.

The moment I spotted a slender figure talking to a green-haired dragon, I immediately swerved to go talk to them for a moment, hoping to escape the situation for a moment longer.

Somewhat clumsily crashing into their conversation, balancing two glasses and a plate of sweets, that most definitely got their attention, Hwa-young turning to grin at me while the dragoness kept her face a carefully sculpted mask of aloof interest.

“Cake?” I blurted out abruptly, raising the plate between us like an offering, instantly feeling the heat in my cheeks in embarrassment.

“Oh my god, please,” my schoolmate groaned in joy, hand already reaching for one of the small chocolate treats. The dragoness, Yong as I learnt, was watching us, face impassive, but I could see a glint of something soft in her eyes when her gaze fell onto the cheerful petite woman currently stuffing her face next to us.

Even though I met Hwa-young maybe an hour ago, I was glad Yong seemed to be interested in the young woman’s well-being.

But then her eyes suddenly jumped back to me, boring deep into my soul.

“Bangtan are honourable dragons,” she said finally, her voice a little lower than I anticipated, but smooth as velvet, “They strive for good, maybe more than most.” Her words brought a little smile to my face, reminiscent of the earlier conversation that went basically along the same lines.

My eyes flitted over to the corner where the two men sat hoping to catch their reaction to her words, only to find it empty and the dragons nowhere to be found. I frowned instinctively, hands tightening over the glass of water that Jungkook asked for with heart squeezing, but quickly tampered those thoughts down.

The connection must have been really messing with my head.

I ended up trailing after Hwa-young and her dragoness after that, like a lost puppy, until the greying man stood up once more and announced it was time to move outside. With a deep heaving sigh I abandoned the glass and plates and steeled myself for the true pinnacle of the afternoon.

Hwa-young, once she noticed my uneasiness, gave me an empathetic smile, hand patting me a few times on my shoulder, before she confidently walked up to the glass door and out to the patio, followed by Yong with her curious eyes trained on the knightess.

While the first part of the banquet was mostly for introductions and fraternising, the second part moved outside – that’s why the perfect weather was needed for the day of the event and the court seers and astronomers worked hard to pick an auspicious date to ensure that.

Now the attention from the dragons, a novelty to some and a delicious masquerade to others, the spotlight would shift purely on the novices as we were to partake in several “friendly” competitions to show off our skills.

It was all also a part of the bond creating process, as the show was mostly for the dragons to see their prospective riders and help them choose who’d they like to approach – basically a talent show under the guise of some silly little sportsmanship.

It was also the part I was, surprisingly, even more nervous about than the talking.

When I got outside, most people were already sitting around on the prepared benches, leisurely chatting with the poise only the bored and the filthy rich could have. Five people were already standing in the designated area, fiddling with bows and quivers full of arrows. Quickly, I made my way towards Hwa-young, grabbing my own weapons on the way.

So there was six of us this year. I tried to steal glances at the others to see if maybe I recognised someone, but all of their faces were escaping me. I might have seen them somewhere, but I couldn’t put any names to them, nor their factions or alliances or families.

One man stood all the way in the other corner by himself, air of pompousness and arrogance so thick around him I could sense it all across the field. It bled into every single one of his movements, into the expression on his pale elegant face, even into the way he flicked his long straight black hair out of his face.

Two others stood a little away from him, closer to each other but not interacting in any way. Their faces were carefully sculpted cold expressionless masks as they held the bows in their hands ready for the contest, not talking, not looking out into crowd, nothing.

The last man stood the closest to us, all by himself but with his shoulders relaxed and a positive aura surrounding him. His hands were casually drumming a rhythm into the wood of the bow, foot tapping happily into the dense dirt compacted by thousands upon thousands of armoured shoes walking over it every day. When he noticed me looking his way, he suddenly brightened and gave me a happy smile.

That was enough to shock me into turning back to my own bow and I ignored the cheery man, not that he seemed very offended by that. Instead he immediately changed targets to Hwa-young standing next to me and the two fell into a hushed conversation after a few smiles exchanged.

The bow in my hand was worn, it wouldn’t be impossible to use it, but it was obvious they were some old weapons taken from some forgotten unloved storage. The royal palace insisted that we would use the military’s tools to ensure fairness, but I truly wasn’t expecting them to pull out bows that were probably older than half the men standing around the edges of the training area. And there were dragons present.

Speaking of which, on my next cursory look over the gathered crowd I was able to spot the two Bangtan boys (men?) standing on one side a little bit away from everyone else, eyes already trained on me.

In a split second I noticed and realised three things – Jimin’s hair was actually a really deep dark blue, he was looking at me with a much unfriendlier look than before and Jungkook sent me a shit-eating grin before waving cheekily. I scoffed, kind of amused by his attitude, but also significantly weirded out by the change in vibe in his companion.

While yes, it was very unusual to be dishing out handshakes left right front and centre, but I just kind of assumed Jungkook was one of those who didn’t really care about propriety all too much. He had a vibe of a man that loved to see the world burn, and I had to deeply respect that. His whole aura screamed of youth and mischief, so I chalked up his unusual behaviour up to that. But it seemed that Jimin wasn’t exactly impressed with him, as he eyed me with mistrust like I brainwashed his mate into bonding with me.

Loud clinking brought my attention away from those two and my eyes slowly drifted back to the greying man and who I presumed was his dragoness. That was another mystery to me – it was obvious he was in some sort of position of power, but I’ve never met him nor seen him before – I knew he wasn’t in charge of the unit, and he wasn’t even between the teachers that we met during the trials – and I went through them a few times, as we previously established.

He stood up, the same detached expression on his face, and cleared his throat. “Let the games begin,” he proclaimed simply, “We will start with a shooting competition.” Then he shuffled a little under all that attention before sitting back down. I hid my smile behind my palm while watching his bonded laugh at him. You had to love the way he didn’t want to be here as much as everyone else.

The mirth quickly drained out of me though when I realised with our positioning I would end up going first. I cursed under my breath, my hands growing clammy and shaking, desperately gripping the bow and attempting to look as collected as possible. If we at least started with sword fighting, but we had to jump straight into shooting.

This was exactly what I was afraid of, the mounting shame of what was about to come already drowning me and pulling me under the sea of emotions, leaving me helplessly gasping for air. My lungs painfully constricted, but I got into position nonetheless.

There was a reason for why I struggled to enter this unit in particular, even when I was hell-bent on joining the horns. Growing up with a general for a father, I had been trained from small age – I knew how to properly hold a sword before I learned to use the toilet on my own, but my father was a master of heavy weaponry. He was known for his massive bagua-dao swords, occasionally reaching for scimitars or sabres – not too much for his marksmanship. He was still an incredibly efficient archer, but he preferred not to be stuck with a bow and arrows where there could be blood spilt.

Therefore I somewhat gravitated towards those weapons as well – and well, I wasn’t as sufficient with long-range attacks. I’d always achieve a ‘just close enough’, but I rarely hit the mark precisely. But on dragonback, you had no choice but to aid your troops with ranged attacks.

As one of the trainers back during my first trial put it – ‘A dragon rider that can’t shoot a bow and arrow is like a whore without a pussy’. Truly, what a charming man.

I’d improved a lot, enough to manage to weasel my way into the elite unit, but still my shooting wasn’t perfect. And when you wore a name like Kang, that was a social suicide.

My ears all out of nowhere picked up how the crowd quieted, through the roaring blood and the anxious thoughts, and I realised they all hungrily anticipated my performance. Taking a few stabilising breaths, I tried to reinforce my hands and stop their shaking.

Through the bundle of nerves lodged into my throat and the stones slowly setting into my stomach, I fought to empty myself – my heart, my head – to bring about that one-track focus to the centre of the target that stood off to the distance.

Time slowed down, my heart pumped wildly and my head spun and I let go. The arrow elegantly swished through the air, faster than many were able to see, and embedded itself deep into the straw target, just shy of the red circle dominating it.

Even anticipating those results, my heart still sank knowing that everyone saw. Murmurs rose and the pit of humiliation threatened to swallow me. I hated how I was already berating myself for not doing better, how I was already fearing what would my father say once I got home, how I was too scared to turn around and face their mocking eyes and sneers.

I hated the castle, and I knew that I was on the precipice of getting devoured whole by it.

With shaky sweaty hands I stood there and watched all the other novices hit perfect mark, the waves of polite ovations reaching my ears through the cotton of my inner turmoil.

The second round came, all the eyes turned to me again, and I knew the moment I released the bowstring that the nerves won over me, barrelled through my psyche and I was lost to the chant of insecurities going through my head.

The arrow hit a little to the left of the first one, a tiny bit further from the centre than before.

The weight on my shoulders was pulling them down and I was tenser, more uncomfortable, but I kept my composure. It was crucial that I showed no weakness now, that would be inviting even more trouble. I felt bile rising through my pharynx but swallowed it down and instead forced myself to stand tall with head held high.

I didn’t gather the courage to turn around until the last arrow was released.

I let myself be ushered towards a different area prepared for us while the target practice was moved around and prepared for the final spectacle of the afternoon. In the meanwhile, we were to fight with swords. That was more of a stable ground for me.

Perfectly there was just the right amount of us to compete in twos and I was already hoping that I wouldn’t end up with the snotty kid from the end of the line lest I might try to kill him for sure. Trying to avoid any polite chatter between us and also pointedly not look towards the crowd, I started perusing the weapons offered, thinking of what the best strategy would be to take.

A shortsword was a classic, but nothing too impressive. A longsword a similar case. Though if I had to choose, I’d preferred the two-handed longsword, I had a tendency to get a little too swingy with one-handed weapons. There was a scimitar, which was a solid option even though more suited for horseback – but once again, I’d prefer two-handed weapons.

All the way at the end of the prepared rack (it didn’t escape my attention there was only one for all of us) sat a dadao and bagua-dao right next to each other, glinting in the sun like cruel smiles. As far as I was aware, no one here would actually reach for those – they weren’t standard weapons people were taught to operate.

They were there for me. For family legacy.

That was enough for me to make my choice.

While the others just made it over to the rack and started paying it more attention, I grabbed the plain longsword and moved towards the area fenced off for a duel. I sensed the confused, surprised and mocking gazes rolling off of my back, but I didn’t let their disappointment muddle my already arguably shitty day any more.

I wasn’t here to give them a show. I was here to bond with a dragon.

When everyone had chosen their weapons (I was right, no one went for the dao swords), we all stood there for a moment, too nervous to actually say anything. The arrogant prick was acting like we were all beneath him, but the rest of us eyed the others apprehensively, trying to gauge with who we’d like to end up in a duel.

The puppy boy was now hanging about Hwa-young, the two of them seemed to make fast friends, and honestly, I understood that. I was also drawn into her aura quite quickly, though my current stress prevented me from relaxing around anyone at the moment.

Taking notice of the weapons others chose, I started realising that something didn’t add up. There was only one of each, and it would be impossible to have a proper duel if one person has a longsword and the other a scimitar. It wasn’t that unusual for the battlefield, but in duelling it wasn’t done.

Looking around, there was another rack of weapons on the other side of the fenced area – where we wouldn’t be able to go at the moment due to the fences. It all started clicking in my mind just as Lord Kim of all people stepped up on a little platform and gestured to get the attention of the slowly quieting crowd.

“As was tradition for the second discipline,” he started pompously, chest puffed up and face painted with a sleazy smile, “the novices would duel each other. This year we chose to make a little change for the entertainment of those watching.” I could see a few of us looking confused or slightly uncomfortable, and my own heart tightened for a moment.

Lord Kim gestured somewhere behind him and six people walked up to the rack of weapons on the other side. Three men and three women, all looking coldly towards the baron, standing side by side and anxiously awaiting the order to grab their weapons. It wasn’t that hard to deduce they were all dragons.

Silence fell over us while the crowd clapped happily, the vile joy reflected in their gazes, while we exchanged worried glances. Hwa-young’s face was drawn into a tight serious expression, a stark difference to how she was just a few minutes ago, while the guy by her side shuffled from foot to foot wordlessly.

The only one that didn’t seem to be bothered by the revelation was the smug bastard who stood a little away from us, serenely holding a sabre in his hand and looking straight at a man with flaming red spiky hair, who steadily ignored his attention.

How curious.

I watched as Kim gave the order with a flick of his wrist and the selected six moved with a purpose straight to their chosen weapons. The redhead without hesitation reached for the sabre, eyes glued to the ground and trying to blend in as much as possible, not stand out at all.

I felt a simmer of rage bubble up inside my chest and turned to stare daggers at the newbie only to see that he was already looking at me with a stupid smirk on his face.

So he already knew. He must have been close to someone high up in the unit then – that would make things difficult.

Swearing to myself to find out who was his patron, I made my distaste known on my face all for him to see and then turned back to our chosen opponents, searching for the one with a longsword. Eyes jumping from one to other, I finally found the weapon in the hands of a tall dragoness, her curly ginger hair falling down her back all the way to her tailbone. She as well was already watching me, but her eyes were unreadable, her lips a thin straight line.

The baron’s chuckle had our tense eyes drawing back to him. He stood there, with an awful sharp grin on his face, arms thrown out in a grand gesture, gaze jumping around our faces.

“Well, let the second discipline begin,” Lord Kim announced, “Happy fighting!” He laughed loudly, gestures dramatic and over the top, and then leisurely made his way back to sit next to… Duke Lee. What was it… birds of a feather?

I scoffed at the two men sitting there and acting like old chaps, all chummy and cozy next to each other. Baron Kim was really getting better at dick sucking, look at him, making his way all the way to the duke. Talent had to be recognised.

“Young mistress Kang!” the exclamation of my name startled me into stumbling to turn around, suddenly aware that everyone was looking at me. The dragoness was standing in the middle of the fighting arena, sword hanging from her hands limply. There was a touch of annoyance displayed on her face, but it was obvious she was trying to tamper it down as to not get into trouble.

I flushed lightly but diligently moved into the arena without any more stalling. Of course I’d go first again, we were probably going to keep the order from the first discipline. My nerves were skyrocketing, and I held the sword in my clammy hands.

Fighting in a duel against a same-aged human wasn’t something that brought too much stress to me, it was actually the one discipline of the three I was very confident in and looked forward to. General Kang never went easy on anyone, including his small children even during the first years of our training and I knew I could probably take on half the people from the military and be fine.

Duelling against a centuries old dragon with so much more strength and sharper senses though, that was a completely different story. Defeating a dragon, even in a sword fight, was virtually impossible. It took a lot of training, mostly with specific dragons, and most people resorted to underhanded tactics to gain an upper hand.

So the desired effect of this duel was most likely to present well with tactics, endurance and skill, not to actually aim to win. It was hard entering a ring knowing you will lose the fight, hard to muster up the courage to the absolute most to win when you know it’s a done deal from before you even stepped in, but this, like many other things, was mostly about appearances.

With a sigh I took my position and gestured to my opponent that I was ready. She did the same immediately and in a second a whistle sounded through the air, letting us know the match had started.

Nobody made a move at first, both of us holding our stance and slowly circling the arena, gauging the other and calculating the best approach.

I admittedly wasn’t the type to jump in headfirst into offensive, it usually took me a while to attack. Sometimes it was to psych the other out, sometimes I just wanted to see what they would do first and adapt to their strategy accordingly. But she seemed to be doing the same thing, so for a few long moments silence enveloped the crowd as they watched us with bated breaths.

I held the sword in a front guard, tip pointing right at her neck, and I just had a split second to register the tightening of her hands on the grip before she was suddenly lunging forward with a straight strike, aiming for my abdomen.

The habit kicked in and I cockstepped to the side, sword immediately flying in a circle guard to parry her attack before I retreated again. There was determination in her face, and she didn’t seem to be terribly appalled by my stance, so I counted that as a win.

This went on for a long while, one of us suddenly lunging forward in an attack to surprise the other, then parry, counter-attack and then retreat, circling around the edges of the arena. I couldn’t hear anything from outside those fences, I had no idea if people were entertained or not, if they watched or not, if they even said anything at all. All my attention was poured into the form of my opponent, watching her every single move.

Longsword was about agility, being quick on your feet and keeping your contender appropriately far to be able to land a hit but not close enough for them to land it back, and I used my small stature and quickness to my advantage a lot when fighting, but even though I was able to stand my ground, I felt the disparity in our strengths.

She was taking it easy on me, I was aware of that. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to parry that easily against a blow with full dragon power behind it, and while she was able to keep her composure, I already felt my body faltering. There was sweat streaming down my face, I felt it soaking through the uniform and making my grip sloppy. My legs were starting to get tired, and I stumbled a few times while side-stepping away from her attacks.

Her movements stayed effortless and fluid, her sword steady and sharp. I started to slip up.

As our patience ran out, the number of attacks increased and finally we were giving the audience what it wanted – an offensive after an offensive, barely giving the other time to counter. She must have tested my strength, because suddenly her blows became much more heavy-handed – she aimed to end this match soon.

She almost overpowered me with a diagonal cut, and my ankle twisted as I turned. Pain burst through me, face turning into a grimace. Her face reflected sure victory, sword already aiming for abdominal horizontal cut.

Last minute I turned my sword into downward guard, turned around it and swung for her right side. There was a split second of surprise on her features, the edge just a hair away from her clothes when she managed to jump away, and I gambled.

Turning my legs into a stable stance I lunged forward, ignoring the throbbing in my ankle. The dull tip aimed straight at the side of her lower abdomen, sword flying through the air. The element of surprise did a lot for me, but she managed to evade.

I cursed, sweat slipping into my eyes and making it hard to see. I didn’t even have the moment to wipe it away. The dragoness disappeared from my field of vision, and I fought my own body to turn quickly, but it wasn’t enough.

When I turned, sword already in position to take upwards diagonal cut at her, there was a tip aimed at my neck. I felt it prick the skin when I stumbled with the momentum, eyes trained on her hands on the handle.

Everything froze for a few seconds, few long seconds during which I only heard my own heaving breath and the roaring hum of blood in my veins. The heat started catching up with me and I shivered under the sudden wave of hotness over my whole body.

Then a thunder of clapping broke through the trance, and I looked up to see her eyes. They weren’t as cold anymore, but I wouldn’t dare to guess what she was feeling. She gave me a curt nod and stepped away, swiftly lowering her sword. Almost involuntarily I let go of my own and my glove went with it, hands too wet to stick to them.

I was still trying to catch my breath, the heavy intakes jerking my whole body and all I wished to do was to tear this stupid uniform off and jump into a cold creek, but I was suddenly grabbed by Lord Kim who materialised on stage and dragged me closer to the expectant crowd.

On instinct I started bowing, dragoness in tow even though there wasn’t even an ounce of the usual winner’s joy in her being, and then we were both sent away.

I stumbled over to our side again, wondering if I could maybe be suffering from heatstroke, when two small but very strong hands pulled me into a hug. Hwa-young squealed right into my ear, but I was too sluggish to actually recoil from the sound.

Before I even fully clocked in the situation, she was already pulling away with a huge grin, hand now patting me on the shoulder.

“That was amazing!” she exclaimed, visibly vibrating in excitement, “It felt like nobody was breathing for the entire time you two fought, the tension was insane!” A single syllable laugh fell out of my tired mouth, a somewhat slanted smile pulling at my lips, before I gestured back inside.

“I need water,” was all that came out of me, very eloquently might I add, and then I steered my shaky knees in the right direction and walked off. With every step I retained a little bit of my previous strength, my body finally acclimatising and slowly pumping the brakes on the excitement and pain.

As I was stepping in, the strangely happy guy from before was just stepping into the ring with his shortsword firmly clutched in his hands and a face full of determination.

Thankfully, no one bothered me while I was inside replenishing my strength, and I re-emerged a few minutes later in a much better shape. The fact that there was one more discipline left already drained me in advance. If I could at least take one layer off, that would make it much better, but it would be improper.

I must have been inside for longer than I thought, because it seemed that two matches have happened in the meantime, with the third now already in motion. The only ones still waiting for theirs was Hwa-young and the peacock with a sabre, both standing next to each other but ostentatiously ignoring the other.

Sitting down in the shade, I watched on. During Hwa-young’s turn I appreciated her form a lot. She was a great fighter, and it was obvious she put her absolute best into the match. Her opponent seemed to be a measured laid-back fighter, and he balanced her energetic offensive very well. When she lost, it was after a good fight and she went down honourably. The dragon even accepted her offered handshake (gloves on, of course, to prevent any skin-to-skin contact and accidentally establish a potential bond) and then they both moved to their respective sides.

The last man stepped in, flaming red hair reflecting the sun and making him almost shine in the middle of the summer garden. Peacock walked up to him and immediately took his stance. Once the whistle was blowed, he flew into an attack within split second, and the match from then on was a wild mess of heavy offensive.

While the dragon seemed to be surprised, like the others he didn’t have much trouble standing his ground and matched the energy given well. As much as I disliked people who valued offensive over anything and expected to win fights just by endlessly swinging their swords around without rhyme or reason, the display of power between the two fighters was quite fascinating to watch.

Their forms were beautiful, and their sabres met with loud clinks, almost hard enough to see sparks flying about. It was a wild flurry of movement, of red and silver flashes and fast footwork that would be hard on even experienced knights.

And that was exactly what got him in the end. The peacock was extremely confident in the first few minutes of the match, but as it dragged on, the dragon refusing to concede and dealing back just as much power, the toll it was taking on the human to keep up started to be visible.

I watched his legs increasingly more stumble and react slower to the attacks and for a brief moment I wondered whether I looked the same when I started losing the fight.

But then he suddenly threw himself at the redhead, sword pushing his to the side and body slamming into him full force. There were a few gasps around in the audience as confusion set in. Aside the fact that this was a sword duel, he definitely couldn’t win against him in a fistfight. And once they got this close, the dragon could really knock him out with a single blow. It was pure insanity.

And I could see the redheaded man preparing to do just that, hand dropping his sabre and body twisting in preparation to take a full swing, when the bastard shot his hand out and grasped around the dragon’s neck.

I was on my feet faster than I could comprehend doing that, dread making my heart stop beating and my stomach to drop all the way down to the ground. His hand was bare, he must have shucked the glove off somewhere during the lunge.

The poor dragon froze under the touch, body going into panic. He tried to twist out of his grasp, and I saw the hand visibly squeeze the flesh tattooed with shackles.

“Kneel!” the human’s booming voice carried over the shocked crowd without a problem, loud enough to even scare off some birds off of the nearby trees.

The redhead locked into place, eyes glazing over and shame seeping out of the very pores of his skin. Then he slowly kneeled, mechanically like he was fighting against his body every step of the way. Once he was on the ground his head hung low, whether it be in humiliation or obedience, and it was a terrible heart-wrenching sight.

The boy let go and then victoriously turned to the audience, smug grin wide on his face, leaving the dragon sitting in the dirt. Then there was an abrupt wave of cheering and clapping, a thunderous sound that swept through the whole garden and Lord Kim was running towards the arena, screaming praises for the only one of us who managed to defeat their dragon.

Shock, disgust and dread kept me frozen in my place, heart squeezing painfully in my chest and lungs constricted. I felt like I was going to be sick, like all that was going to come out of me would be black poisonous sludge from the display we bore witness to.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the lone being shamefully kneeled there, unable to stand up until another command came. A wave of emotions swept through me – rage, compassion, pain – and tears almost sprung into my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away.

When my eyes swept through the crowd, there wasn’t enough horror in people for this to have taken place. Most were sitting around, pleased and happy and talking about the champion. The dragons looked uncomfortable, eyes avoidant and their postures tense. Hard and frozen.

I saw Hwa-young, her face serious and troubled, lips a thin line as she stared at the man who was happily conversing with a bunch of good-for-nothing lords.

It was hard to compute he did something like that. And even harder to compute that it was allowed, in a friendly duel, against a dragon that wasn’t even his bonded.

Even though people liked to pretend that dragons were here all on the accord of their own free will, pretend like they weren’t forced and enslaved, pretend like they wouldn’t get punished if they didn’t go along with their whims, the shackles still remained a stark reminder of their status.

And while the only person who could directly command them was the emperor, or the dragon’s bonded, anyone could really force the dragon into obedience by grabbing their neck. The shackle was a ‘mark of magic’ (among others) – it showcased the place where the dragon was touched with a curse.

And this curse forced them into obedience to humankind. They couldn’t fight against a human and wish him serious harm, they couldn’t go against the emperor or anyone in the position of power, and they couldn’t not obey direct commands coming to them. The magic in their blood enforced their behaviour and there was nothing they could do about it.

So if you wanted to command a dragon and have him be coerced into listening to you, all you had to do was grab their neck where their shackle was, thus activating the curse.

That redhead wouldn’t be able to stand up until he was similarly commanded to do so, because he couldn’t break the order to kneel. It was absolutely disgusting and barbaric.

The conversation really seemed to have moved on, no one paying attention to him. Peacock left with Lord Kim, along with some other novices. Hwa-young and puppy boy stood frozen by the fence for a moment before they guiltily avoided their eyes and moved towards the fray of festivities too. Not that I could blame them.

I didn’t know anything about his background, but Hwa-young certainly couldn’t make a scene about a dragon given the precarious situation she was in.

At least one thing my stupid fucking surname was good for. Sometimes I could get away with being untouchable (sans the consequences my father would give when I got home, but that was a private affair – what they don’t know… can’t hurt me).

Not being able to take it anymore, I steeled myself and made my way towards the arena displaying much more confidence than I actually felt. Presentation was key, I endlessly told myself, in a voice that suspiciously sounded like my father. Subtly checking my surroundings, it seemed that no one was really paying attention to me yet. Which was good, but it would change quickly.

When I got to him, his shoulders were slumped, head still down and refusing to look up. The dragon probably assumed I’d come to mock him, and it broke my heart a little. Once more looking around to make sure nobody cared what I was doing, I kneeled in front him too.

I heard his little gasp of surprise, but he didn’t move in the slightest.

People considered it to be humiliating to kneel in front of a slave, which is why he probably didn’t see often people drop down to his level instead of commanding him to look up. I cleared my throat somewhat awkwardly.

“Pardon the intrusion,” I mumbled softly, making sure he was the only one who heard me, “Don’t panic, I’m going to touch your neck in a moment, okay?” For a few silent moments I waited for him to nod, and he finally realised that as well when no touch came after my words.

After his confirmation I brough my hand to his shackle gently, trying to be as unintrusive as possible, but no matter how much I tried this would always be a violation of them. I felt the magic come alive under my fingertips, thrumming violently through my blood. It was an ugly kind of magic and it made me sick when it filled my being with its aura.

Swallowing the noise of protest at the sensation, I didn’t want to stress him more, I quickly said: “You can stand, and you’re free of commands.” I saw his shoulders relaxing, and he shivered lightly. I quickly tore my hand away from his skin and stood up again, knees protesting at the swift movement.

I offered him my hand, but he ignored it as he himself stood up. His knees must have been in even worse shape after sitting on the rough ground like that, but he carried himself gracefully, shame persistently seeping in at the edges. When our eyes met, he curtly nodded my way and then swiftly walked off, leaving the gathering behind him.

I couldn’t blame him.

A good half an hour went by before I heard Lord Kim’s voice exclaim: “Oh no! Where did our dragon disappear to?” By then I had already moved closer to the shooting range and watched servants bring out and prepare the six horses that would be involved in the next discipline.

There were some general gasps, people looking around with disappointment painting their faces, but no one spoke out against me. No one looked at me, or even cared that I still sat by the side, leading me to assume that my actions haven’t been noticed, thankfully.

As the commotion slowly quietened, I willed my heart to calm down, body sagging lightly against the stone bench.

While I was looking forward to the last discipline, horseback shooting at moving targets, the atmosphere hung heavy over us after the last match, and it was hard to have any enjoyment from anything taking place. Peacock of course was in great spirits and the two expressionless guys that haven’t said a single word as far as I was concerned didn’t seem to care at all, but we the remaining three all showed different signs of uneasiness, the good mood sapped out of us in the blink of an eye.

We stood in a hushed group, still processing everything, while the others were already claiming horses and preparing their bows.

“I was kind of expecting it and it still caught me off guard that he’d just… go there,” finally Hwa-young broke the silence, looking at me solemnly. I gave her a confused look, tilting my head slightly.

“What do you mean ‘expecting it’?” the question fell out my lips and it drew the attention of the boy.

“The blond one tried to reach for the neck, but got quickly overpowered,” he jumped in to explain, “I thought it was more like a tactic to scare her or psych her out, at the moment it didn’t look like he’d really go for it.” His gaze was pointing to one of those silent two, a tall blond with cold blue eyes.

“Oh!” he suddenly exclaimed, hand flying to me in an offered handshake, “I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Choi Siwoo, of the southeast clan.” I only hesitated for a split second before I took it, attempting a small smile even with my heart still heavy.

I was kind of already beginning to like Hwa, her story and attitude made me trust in her good side a little more, and this guy seemed to be just a ball of sunshine. She evidently got along with him and for the moment I’ve decided to tentatively trust her judgement.

God knows I’d need as many allies on my side as possible and I trusted that Hwa-young of all people wouldn’t have a problem with me based on my clan. Plus both of them most probably had the same opinion as me about the violating display peacock put on.

It was quite sad, but once you found people who actually believed dragons to be real beings with real rights, you’d better hand onto them and not let them go. I myself was painfully aware of how meagre the numbers of those were.

Siwoo’s face brightened with a toothy grin, hand briefly squeezing mine before he pulled back. There was a little bit of relief on his face and I wondered whether he was worried I’d reject his friendship offer. He and Hwa exchanged a short happy look, she nodded a little, and then turned to beam at me. A little snicker escaped my lips at their shenanigans, but I didn’t stick around to see their faces split with wide smiles.

Instead I finally started making my way towards one of the still available horses, choosing a white one with black and brown spots, absentmindedly picking up the bow and quiver with arrows. Once we were all on horseback and ready, Lord Kim once again climbed up to a little platform and with a few pompous words blew the whistle.

I was miles away in my mind, just going with the flow of the horse’s movement. I’ve always loved horses since little, and anytime I found myself on one I usually relaxed very quickly, which combined with my troubled heart and mind had me escaping away from this awful little banquet, my mind carrying me to the green pastures and meadows of our fief.

Thus I ended up missing my first shot, just breezing past the target without even pulling out my bow. A quick shout of my name later I was confusedly looking around only to see Hwa-young’s worried face. She gestured to her bow and I immediately realised I must have not even seen where I was supposed to be shooting.

The discipline went on, and after a few circle arounds I even managed to hit a bullseye, more or less on accident. The crowd gave me some polite applause, but I found myself as shocked as half the people sitting there on that garden.

By the time they finally called us back, I was already prepared to disappear home the next second I could. I was over all this, mentally and physically drained and I hated the audience watching our every move, my skin crawling with every curious or hateful glance.

Of course, we were meant to be socialising more, but I planned to slink off the moment people stopped paying attention to me. Having led the horse back to the stables, I was back in the crowd, slowly making my way inside to grab some more refreshments. I ignored the hum of murmurs around me, mocking my score or whispering about my father.

When someone threw a glare at me, I returned it with a polite smile, the tiredness pulling the attitude back onto the surface. Today had quite enough of diplomatic and courteous encounters, now I was done.

Making it over to the almost empty buffet table, a scowl was already pulling down at my lips, making me look even more unfriendly than usual. When somebody’s presence suddenly made itself known behind me, I was ready to snark at them until they left. They couldn’t even let me eat in peace.

For a few moments I continued to ignore the person, even though I knew they were messing around with something on the table, hoping they weren’t here for me after all, but all those hopes got shattered the moment they walked up straight to me and tapped my shoulder.

I started turning around, a smart retort already about to slip off of my tongue when I came face to face with a broad chest and shoulders, tattoos peeking from his tunic and pierced lips, and it promptly withered and died in my throat. He had tattoos there as well? How did I miss that?

Lightly flustered I quickly snapped my head up, searching for the dragon’s eyes. Jungkook was grinning at me from up above, gaze sparkling just like before. I stumbled a step or two back, putting some more space between us to make the height gap less blaringly obvious. He snickered at me, but stayed put, leisurely leaning with his hip on the table.

“Looked like you were booking it, so I wanted to catch you before you disappear,” the dragon explained with a knowing smile, “just to set some things straight.” A soft questioning noise left my mouth, a mixture of anxiety and confusion hitting me. Sudden fear that he’d come here to let me down gently gripped me and I desperately tried to temper it down, not even recognising myself and the strange behaviour I’d been exhibiting since I accepted his handshake.

Jungkook seemed blissfully oblivious though and kept cooly leaning on the table, completely relaxed in his stance and expression. My calculative gaze slid from his head to his toes, trying to gauge what he’d feel the need to tell me this urgently. Preparing myself for the worst, I invited him to speak with a gesture of my arm.

“I want to reserve your noon three days from now,” the dragon told me, body language still quite laid-back, lulling me into believing that maybe this wasn’t bad news after all, “A personal training, after that we’ll talk.”

Even though I tried to keep my expression in check, I couldn’t eliminate the chance that he heard my heart happily jump in my chest and skip a few beats. The expression on his face was earnest when I lost to myself and checked it just to be sure, but I also noticed a light dusting of a blush over his cheekbones while his fingers tried to detangle his bangs from the little horns coming out of his forehead. With a start I realised that his hair actually wasn’t black, but there was a deep purple metallic sheen to it that gave off little coloured flashes when it was hit by the light right.

He cleared his throat, somewhat awkwardly, and started shuffling. Immediately I realised I haven’t actually answered to him and instead just stood there staring at him. I couldn’t help the rush of colour to my cheeks and briefly I wondered whether his blush meant he was feeling similar effects of the established connection.

I’d have to research bonds a little, I’d never known it could influence you like this. Wistfully I thought back to the memory of my teacher, the desperate desire to know where he was or that he’d be still here with me manifesting again. He’d tell me everything, answer all of my questions without hesitation.

But before I could get too off track in my thoughts and leave Jungkook even more hanging, I cleared my throat as well. “Does- Does that mean you are interested in pursuing the connection?” I squeaked out, throat a little dry and my flustered state making it hard to speak seriously.

The dragon grinned at me, boyish and free with a hint of mischief, and it did make me thaw a little in face of such a display. It made him look young and on top of the world, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from briefly jumping to his shackled neck with a painful pang to my heart.

“Of course!” he exclaimed loudly, “You seem pretty cool.” I raised my eyebrow at him, but ultimately chose to not answer to that. Taking another step back I let food be food and returned an impish grin of my own.

“Sure then, see you in three days.” Jungkook seemed very satisfied by that answer and without further ado turned around to leave.

I watched him go with my heart quivering in both hope and nerves as I found myself so close to the edge of something great. Of something meaningful. I couldn’t mess it up now.

Of course my father would be beyond overjoyed that I’d managed to catch the attention of Bangtan, as it would catapult me straight to the top. It would cement me as something special from the very beginning, and that was all he ever wanted of us. The emperor would surely allow me to ride him, because I was a Kang and that was all that mattered. I’d finally make myself useful and aide my father in his power-hungry ways.

But that wasn’t what I wanted.

No. I wanted to change the world. Change would always have to start at the top.

And I would bring this empire down, once and for all.

With a true genuine smile I also turned on my heel, in a completely different direction, and swiftly left the banquet behind me. It was time to learn how to impress a dragon.

Jungkook was slowly getting fed up with Jimin’s disconcerted looks thrown his way, the older dragon making it well known for the several past hours just how upset he was with the youngest.

“Okay, god, I get it, can you stop staring at me like that?” he grumbled out, flinching at his mate’s disbelieving expression. The smaller man had basically smoke rising from his head with how angry he seemed to be, and that was a feat considering he was a water dragon.

“Excuse me?!” he exclaimed wildly, “So dare you explain to me what the hell was that?!” Something strange and tense settled between them the moment Jungkook offered the Kang girl his hand, and he knew this was long time coming, the blue-haired man very obviously just looking for an opportunity to have a private chat with him.

Jungkook shrugged, and in hindsight, that wasn’t the best reaction judging by the frustrated noise he got from Jimin in answer, but he himself didn’t really know. Honestly, he was just as confused as everyone else, but something just… compelled him?

“I- I don’t know,” he quickly remedied, not wanting to provoke the other dragon even more, “it just felt like the thing to do.” That earned him a frown. Jimin stopped in his tracks, turning to look at his youngest mate with something slightly alarming making itself home in his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he asked quietly, gaze imploring and looking for answers, “Jungkook, this wasn’t just ‘something to do’, you could have made a huge fool out of yourself. Not to mention that you don’t just go around offering handshakes to riders! You skipped several steps of a whole process that’s there for a reason!”

Jungkook shrunk under the barrage of Jimin’s upset words, the inkling need to start defending himself and get upset back wiggling into his bones, but on a rational level he knew his mate was more worried than anything.

“Bonds are fickle things, you don’t simply jump headfirst into it with a complete stranger!” the water dragon continued, determined to let it all out now that they were gone from public and had space to hash it out, “It could have made you sick, it could have felt awful, it could have connected you to a terrible person. It’s not as simple as introducing yourself, bonds are strong and deep and they can influence you. You don’t go around doing that with everyone, you wait until you meet a person that feels right to offer it to!” That was Jungkook’s opening.

“But didn’t you feel it too, hyung?” he whispered, knowing he succeeded in worming some doubt into his hyung’s mind, “It was there even before we touched. That’s what I meant when I said it just felt… right to do. I can’t explain it, I just knew it was meant to happen somehow. And you know how gullible I am to instincts!” He threw in a good pout as well, grabbing onto Jimin’s sleeve and selling the cuteness to the max.

Jimin gave him a chastising look, but it was obvious his resolve was breaking and he was fighting his own smile at the cute display.

“I saw how you reacted, hyung,” Jungkook whispered again, hand sliding down to lock their fingers together, “I know you felt something.”

Both dragons were very well aware that something about this bond was strange, but neither knew how to explain to the other the sensations and feelings that ran through them in that moment they touched. Jimin pursed his lips, not finding the right words and feeling in way over his head.

“Let’s get home, I want to talk to hyungs about it,” he simply murmured and started dragging the other with him through the silent dark streets of the capital city. This part was always dead quiet in the middle of the night, the proximity of the royal palace scaring all nightly activities away into more shady parts. The shadow of the empire just always hung over this district, turning its atmosphere into something rotten and heavy.

It wasn’t far to their town house, the building that they reluctantly used whenever they needed to stay over in the capital as opposed to flying two hours back to their den, and both quickly found themselves enveloped in a much warmer aura of their combined scents. Even this deep into the night there was a hum of activity heard, signalling that the whole thunder was still awake and most likely waiting for their return.

Tae was sitting with Hoseok outside in the tiny yard, but they immediately moved inside the moment they heard the two sets of footsteps. The rest of the mates were all already sitting by the dining table, small refreshments waiting for them while Yoongi peacefully read something, and Namjoon was intensely staring at a couple of glowing rocks.

Seokjin’s head suddenly popped into the room from the adjacent study, warm smile already in place.

“How was Jungkook’s first choosing?” he asked eagerly, quickly padding over to the table and sitting down along with a very interested Tae and a smiling Hoseok. And as shaken as Jungkook and Jimin were from the whole afternoon, they noticed a small strain in their thunder’s expressions as well, deepening the concerned feelings already swirling through their own chests.

“We have to talk,” jumped Jimin straight in without a preamble, choosing the least comforting words anyone could ever say. The other dragons in the room didn’t seem to be very surprised though, only indication of the statement being heard was Jin’s soft sigh and the soft thud of Yoongi closing his book and putting it away.

Five sets of eyes trained on them, waiting for the explanation, and Jungkook helplessly looked towards his hyung to start.

“Jungkook found a potential rider,” Jimin started, eyes never leaving Jungkook’s face, his own troubled when he finally turned to the others.

“Isn’t that sort of a happy occasion?” Namjoon tested out, but as they all noticed before, the hyungs already seemed to be aware of something happening during the afternoon.

“Well, he just stuck his hand out to her within ten minutes of meeting her,” Jimin suddenly snitched petulantly, leaving Jungkook standing there with his mouth hanging wide open at the betrayal.

“Hyung!” he whined out at the same time as Jin’s horrified “Jungkook!” floated through the room.

“It felt right!” he shouted frustrated, feeling like he’s been endlessly repeating himself forever now and everyone just ignored that and focused on the more blaring fact of him completely disregarding age-old rules and making his potential bond into a public spectacle.

But despite his expectations, Jimin didn’t protest, or even got into a needless fight with him about it. Instead, he looked towards the older dragons, unsure and nervous. All of them were suddenly shifting in their seats, drawn closer by Jimin’s obvious distress and ready to jump in and comfort him at the drop of the hat.

“That’s the thing,” the water dragon whispered, “it did. I felt it too.” Silence set over the room. The rug’s been suddenly pulled from under his feet as he thought back to the moment, to the lighting of pure energy zapping through his entire being, feeling as if his fingers were about to burst into flames. To the moment he finally tore his eyes from Y/N and saw his hyung’s horror and shock, immediately pulling him close to whisper if he was okay as Jungkook just stared and tried to comprehend what happened.

It explained a lot.

“What?” was what came out of his mouth though, “You felt the bond through me?” The man in question silently nodded, opening his mouth and considering whether he should speak more. In the end he sighed and resigned himself to this conversation fully.

“Yeah, I felt it through our bond,” Jimin explained closely, “It was strong enough that even I felt the power of it. It’s never happened to me before. I’d never felt any of your bondings, let alone the first contact.” The troubled expression on the faces of the other dragons doubled and the two finally noticed it.

“Do you know what that means?” the question was aimed towards Yoongi and Namjoon who had arguably the most knowledge on most things, and if they didn’t know it currently, they definitely had a book detailing it, but everyone at the table shifted uncomfortably. Jungkook started having the sense of what must have happened.

“You felt it too, didn’t you?” he whispered, the disbelief creeping into his tired voice. There was a beat of silence, a slight hesitation and then Yoongi nodded.

“Yes, but it wasn’t anywhere near as strong as what you said,” the black-haired man explained, voice soothing to attempt and calm the rising emotions, “it was more like an echo of what you two were experiencing.”

For a moment they all just let that information sink in, exchanging nervous glances. Hoseok released a long deep breath, drawing the attention to himself.

“So Jungkookie felt a pull towards someone, immediately went ahead and established a connection and everyone felt an amount of an echo of it through the bond,” he summarised, gesturing towards the two solemn bookworms sitting at the head of the table, “and I’m assuming you’ve also never heard of anything like that happening.”

Both of them shook their head at the same time, and their synchronisation would have been adorable if it wasn’t for the heavy atmosphere in the room.

“What do we do then?” Tae broke the silence tentatively, looking around everyone with his deep soothing eyes.

“Well,” Seokjin sighed again, slapping one hand on the table and startling poor Yoongi that was up to that point lost in thought sitting next to him, “We keep an eye on the bond. Jungkook, you just go about it as normally as possible. Jimin, you tag along with him and observe. Yoongi, Namjoon, please tell me you know where to dig up information about this?” Namjoon hummed thoughtfully, golden eyes glazing over in the same way they always did when he started mentally going through the never-ending catalogue of books they’ve managed amass in their hoard over the centuries.

“I’m certain we have a whole section of the library about bonds, it is a very researched subject, but I don’t remember ever encountering a mention of this,” he said finally, determination setting into his shoulders along with excitement to tackle something that was potentially unknown to them. Even though he’d prefer if this completely new phenomenon happened to someone else and not to his own packmate so he could study it in peace and not worry about them all the time.

Yoongi suddenly stood up, back cracking from being slouched over the table for god knows how long, and he started slowly making his way for his usual travel backpack.

“We have to go back to the den to go through all that though, are you all going to be okay here?” he said, face turning a little softer when he threw a look at his thunder. He was always worrying about them, and they all threw him fond looks back, bringing a slight reddish tint to the top of his ears.

“Of course, the universe won’t fall apart if you’re not here all the time, Yoongi,” Jin sassed him back, but making sure to throw him a little wink in teasing. The black-haired dragon smirked. “You don’t know that,” he rumbled back and then he was swiftly walking out onto the street, leaving Namjoon to scramble out behind him, shouting some apologetic goodbyes as he ran after his hyung.

As the situation settled a little bit and the remaining five sat around the table and played with the prepared food, there was still tension hanging over them. Jungkook especially was lost in thought, wondering about what this meant for him and his fate, and the fate of his mates.

He’d never had a bonded before, he was so far out of his zone here, and it made him nervous that his all-powerful, all-knowing hyungs seemed to be just as surprised by the situation.

His thoughts inevitably carried him to the image of his potential bond, to the expressive eyes screaming out even through the carefully crafted mask of indifference, to the memory of her fighting in the ring. To her kneeling for a dragon and whispering to him softly to make him more comfortable.

He knew Jimin didn’t catch that, too busy being lost in thought and upset about Jungkook’s blunder, and it felt wrong bringing something like that up, but it helped him feel that this person was right to bond with. Jungkook has always been close to his instincts, and currently they were telling him this was where they were supposed to be.

His thunder would disagree, they would scold him and call him too naïve, but against the better judgement of his hyungs, he already felt the beginnings of trust establishing between him and who he hoped would be his rider by the end of the week.

He knew he would go along with this, he only had to persuade the others to believe in him and his instincts too.

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stormz369 · 4 months ago

Text

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 11

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings/labels: angst, little to no comfort yet

wc: 2.2k

Chapter Selection

Dick: heeeyyyy Jay?

4:03pm

Dick: … Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay??? Bruce is asking questions about your relationship.

4:45pm

Jason: And I'm ignoring them.

4:56pm

Dick: Well don't! It's important.

4:57pm

Jason: Not possible. It's not his relationship.

5:02pm

Dick: Look, I know you don't like sharing details with us, but Bruce is wondering how serious this is. Like … is she coming to the next Wayne Foundation Gala? Should we expect her at Christmas? Are you gonna tell her about your night job? These are things we kinda need to know

5:10pm

Jason: First of all, I'm not going to the next gala, so why would she? Second, it is way too early in the year to be worrying about Christmas.

5:15pm

Dick: … And the job?

5:25pm

Jason: … When do you tell someone something like that? We've only been together for a few months, but at the same time we've been together for /months/. It simultaneously feels too early and too late…

5:29pm

Dick: Yeah … you're asking the wrong guy, dude. I've only ever dated people “in the business” as it were … Tim might have some insights on that one.

5:31pm

Jason: Yeah, that's not happening.

5:38pm

Dick: Which leads us back to TALK TO BRUCE.

5:40pm

Dick: … DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ON READ YOU LITTLE SHIT!

6:30pm

Bruce: Call me

8:30am

Bruce: Jason, I just have a few questions for you.

9:30am

Bruce: Jason!

10:45am

Jason: Jesus Christ, B! Dick told me about your questions, I don't know what you want me to say! I have no answers for you, ok? This is all new, just let me figure it out!

10:50am

Bruce: As long as you're considering how best to approach the situation. I'm sure you realize you do not want someone else to tell her these things before you have the opportunity to. If you are serious about this relationship, sooner will be better than later.

11:02am

Jason: Believe me, I know. My worst nightmare is her finding out because some asshole tries to kidnap her. I know that us being together puts a target on her back, and if she doesn't know it's there she's at even greater risk. I know all this. It will be handled soon.

11:30am

Bruce: … That sounds pretty final; are you planning on ending things before something goes wrong?

11:41am

Jason: That would be the smart thing. The selfless thing. And I've considered it, I really have. … But I just can't. I don't want to. Can't I have just one good thing? Just this one, and I'll never ask the universe for anything else.

11:50am

Bruce: Jason, of course you can have good things! … But you need to find a way to tell her, before circumstance takes the choice from you.

11:58am

Jason: Working on it

12:04pm

Bruce: Good. We'll see you both at the gala next month then.

12:09pm

Jason: I think the fuck not!

12:10pm

Bruce: It's your turn, you have to come. And if you think that girl doesn't want to be shown off on your arm we'll need to revisit your training, because your observation skills are slipping.

12:15pm

Jason: … This kind of thing is exactly why I didn't want to introduce her to the family.

12:19pm

Bruce: Is it so hard to buy your girl a dress and spin her around the dance floor a few times?

12:30pm

Jason: If any of those socialites flirt with her I won't be held responsible for my actions.

12:33pm

Bruce: You will not threaten, attack, or arrange an attack on anyone at the gala.

12:37pm

Jason: Of course not

12:40pm

Bruce: That includes after they leave, Jason!

12:43pm

Jason: … Damnit.

12:50pm

“Thank god you got the security system in place, huh?” she chuckled a bit mirthlessly as they watched the news. The night before, Jason had installed new security measures around her apartment; better windows with strong locks -and bullet proof glass, but she didn’t know that-, motion detecting cameras on the balcony and front door, and stronger locks on both doors. Perfect timing too, because Bane’s escape from Arkham had just been announced.

Jason pulled her closer, stroking her back, and kissed her forehead. “Not gonna let anything happen to you baby. You just stay inside for a few days, ok?”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders; “can’t. Gotta go to work tomorrow…”

“... Please don’t. … Please, I’ll take care of your rent, just don’t go out there until the bats have him back in Arkham.”

She looked up at his face, frowning a bit. “Jay, we can’t let them hold us hostage in our own homes. He could be out for months, it’s happened before. Hell, if he doesn’t do anything immediately and someone else starts making trouble, he could be loose for years before they get around to him. Besides, it’s not like you’re not going to work while he’s out.”

This was it. This was the moment; he was going to tell her. The only reason he was going to work was because his work was putting Bane back in Arkham. Say it. Say it right now. … She needs to know, just say it. This is the moment… Maybe she’ll stay inside if she knows, then she’ll be safe. Say it. …

“... then … let me take you to work? And pick you up at the end of your shift too.”

“... Just for a few days.” She nodded, kissing his cheek.

He sighed, stroking her shoulder, and held her close. … Coward.

A week later they were sitting on the floor in her apartment, legs crossed, knees touching, both wearing short sleeve shirts. Jason's wrists were resting on his knees, so she could see his arms. He refused to look in her eyes; this was too awkward.

The point was to slowly get him acclimated to the idea that she was a safe person to show his scars to. His forearms had some of his less gruesome scars, mostly cuts and a few old burns, and he was already less uncomfortable with her touching him there, so it seemed like the most reasonable place to start. She gently squeezed his hands, looking down at them. Not touching yet, just sitting with the fact that they were there.

“... Can I ask how you got them?”

This was it. This was the moment; he had to tell her now. Tell her. Tell her where they came from. Tell her what you do. Do it. Right now…

“... Um … well, …”

He was trying to find the right words, how to start this conversation. But all she saw was hesitation. So she squeezed his hands, smiling gently; “it's ok if you're not ready.”

It really wasn't. He knew it wasn't; she deserved the truth, she needed the truth, and she needed it soon. But it felt like too big of a thing to just say all of a sudden, and it was so easy to accept the easy out. He squeezed her hands back, smiling weakly.

“... I love you.” Just give him a little longer, he silently begged the universe; he'd tell her soon, just not today. Give him a little longer.

“I love you too, Jay~” God, how he hoped that would still be true when he finally told her…

“What do you think?” She spun on the pedestal, showing off a green dress. Jason and Steph had taken her to get a gown for the gala; Jason would have been happy for it to be just the two of them, but she insisted she needed a girl's opinion too.

Steph grinned. “I love that silhouette on you. … But the color ….” She waved her hand in a ‘so-so’ motion.

“What's wrong with the color?” She frowned, looking down at herself.

“Nothing, you look beautiful.” Jason smiled softly.

“But it'll look like Christmas!” Steph exclaimed.

She tilted her head, frowning. “Christmas?”

Steph nodded emphatically; “Jason only has one tie for these events, and it's red!”

“Oh! Well then I need a red dress!” She grinned, gathering up the skirt and running for the changing room. “I wish you had the tie with you to compare …”

“I can find a picture!” Steph grinned, going through her Waynebook photos.

Jason blinked a bit, not fully sure what was happening. “... Y- … huh? … you wanna wear red?”

She reemerged, grinning; “Of course; I want everyone in that room to know at a glance that I'm your girl~” He blushed bright red, letting her take his hand and pull him toward a selection of red dresses. Steph smirked a bit, following along to help find a few dresses that would match his tie nicely.

She blushed brightly and giggled at the soft groan that emanated from Jason's throat when she came out in a dress with a high slit and off the shoulder sleeves. Steph smirked; “That sounds like a yes to me.”

“Hmm…” She shifted and squirmed a bit in front of the mirror, frowning at her reflection. “I dunno about this one…”

Jason stood behind her, offering her his hands. “Why not? You look incredible…”

She blushed more, taking them. They stood in the mirror, him behind her and to the side a bit, her hands resting in his like he was leading her onto the dance floor. “I dunno, … the slit is really high, and the off the shoulder sleeves sit in a way that draws attention to my arm fat…”

Jason frowned, gently squeezing her hands. “And?”

She chuckled a bit, looking at his face in the mirror. “What do you mean ‘and’?”

“You're gorgeous. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise it's because they're jealous of how effortlessly beautiful you are. You're going to be the most stunning girl at that entire stupid gala. Really, getting to see you outshine all those hoity-toity-stick-up-their-ass bitches is going to make it worth going.” The sincerity on his face almost made her believe it. She giggled, turning toward him.

“... I haven't danced since P.E. in middle school…”

“We'll practice. Come on, let's practice.” He gently guided her away from the mirror. He guided her hand to his shoulder, then held his hand by her side, hovering a bit. “Can I touch?”

She nodded, grinning, and his hand finally rested against her side, gently guiding her in a simple waltz. Neither of them was particularly graceful, but Jason had the most basic steps memorized from years of being forced to attend Wayne functions. They stared into each other's eyes, mesmerized by the adoration and security they found in each other.

The trance was broken by Stephanie's coos of; “Aww, you two are adorable~”

Jason cleared his throat, smiling softly. “So … this dress?”

She looked in the mirror again, fanning out the skirt a bit. “... You like it that much?” He nodded, unable to tear his eyes off her, and she grinned. “Ok, this one then.”

Steph spent the next hour helping her find shoes that she'd be able to walk and dance in before they were finally able to check out.

That night at her place, Jason offered her a plate and kissed her cheek. She was, inexplicably, excited about the gala, she had fun picking out a dress, and now he was going to butter her up even further with her favorite dinner. She beamed, leaning into the kiss, and blinked in surprise as he sat behind her, gently pulling her to lean against his chest.

“... Babe?”

He hummed softly. “Yeah?”

“... You're … this is good?”

He nodded, arms wrapped around her waist, and kissed her shoulder. “This is good. Eat up~”

She grinned, trying not to vibrate with excitement, and ate happily. “Mh~ it's perfect~ thank you~”

“Of course~” Everything was falling into place. It had been a perfect day. There was no way she could be angry that he'd kept this from her for so long, right? She'd forgive him. She'd understand, and she'd love him anyway. She would… right?

Although, maybe he shouldn't be sitting so close when he told her. If it scared her, she might think him being behind her was a threat. And with him touching her like this, she was trapped against him. He didn't want her to feel trapped. He needed to find a casual way to let go of her, and get to the other side of the room so she would know she was safe when he told her … but he was so comfortable here … maybe just one more minute like this.

… Besides, it was better not to ruin her dinner. … Actually, maybe he shouldn't do it today. He didn't want her to associate the meal with this news, after all. Plus, they had the gala coming up, if she was upset she'd feel beholden to him, to go together even if she was upset. He didn't want that. No, maybe he should do it after the gala.

… Yeah, after the gala…

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

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#fanfic #fanfiction #dc fanfic #jason todd #dc #red hood x reader #jason todd x reader #first person pov #wayne family adventures #no use of y/n #multi chapter fic #Can I Get Your Number?

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lostinlovingrevery · 21 days ago

Text

He's Definitely Obsessed With You (Series)

Origins! Logan X Fem!Reader

Plot: You're an army nurse, deep in the trenches of the Vietnam jungles, doing everything you can to keep yourself together, and the infantry that come into your tent. One day a soldier you aren't familiar with is brought in, and you find out something about him that leads to the start of an important relationship between you both that changes the course of your lives together...

A/N: This is basically the plot of Origins, but with my own spin on it with a Fem!Reader! This is my first time EVER writing an X reader, so comments appreciate! I plan to make this a series, but I wanted to put out a prologue first. Okay, it's not really a prologue and more like a chapter, and ended up being super long because I started writing and then didn't stop, and prologues are short- but IT'S MY STORY AND I'LL CREATE MY OWN RULES. The prologue is just how reader and Logan meet! (PS, there's eventual smut...Soon as I figure out how write it without getting embarrassed) Also, I'm still figuring out how to format on Tumblr, so please don't mind any funky design choices. Probably spelling and grammar mistakes somewhere in there

Warnings: Reader POV only (for now) Reader is female, also an army nurse, also a mutant- but powers aren't specified, blood mention, medical stuff talked about (like amputations), injury descriptions, Vietnam war and slight politics mention, probably a lot of historical inaccuracies i just googled things but I tried! implied reader could be religious but honestly there's nothing concrete to that. The only description of reader is her clothes and that she has hair, and wears makeup (lipstick). Reader has a hard on over Logan (she has a cruuuush), let me know if there's anything I missed!

Word Count: 4753

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Prologue:

Rain rapped lightly along the top of the large tent, creating a soothing sound throughout. A radio, playing an american music station, played a rock song, of some new band slowly making a name for itself, sat nearby on a metal cabinet. Stacks of manila folders and papers were disorganized and spread, almost completely covering a desk. A clock ticks rhythmically. The tent was lined with cots, tables, ratty mattresses, IV stands, and small tables covered with empty food trays, water canisters, and paper cups filled pills. Some of the beds were taken up by injured men, snoring and groaning as they attempted to sleep, only slightly more comfortable here in the medical tent than out in the muddy, rainy trenches. It was monsoon season in Vietnam, and you were at your wits end with paperwork in the middle of a small but-not-that-small camp, set up not far from an American fire support base.

You were sitting at the desk, half asleep as you attempted to fill out another request form for medical supplies. Halothane, Methoxyflurane, Morphine, Penicillin - are common medicines that you find yourself constantly having to restock. Of course bandages, gloves, needles, saline, tubing, multiple surgical supplies, other things you find yourself low on often too, considering the amount of amputations, large and minor, that happen around here. The medical tent that you currently reside in was a revolving door of soldiers, both American and Vietnamese, as well as nearby villagers who come for aid after the American presence near their homes led to viruses they can’t combat on their own, or other unfortunate injuries if war breaks out in their village.

You were simply an army nurse, this was not your usual duty to perform, it was normally left to the assigned doctor of the camp. Your job was to assist the doctor, take care of the patients, administer medicine, IVs, change bandages, wet baths, feed them, and hold their hands as they cry for their momma and to God. You were busy enough, and the doctor, Doctor Frank Jones, who you were assisting had got shot by a stray bullet when out in the jungle, and had to be taken back to the main base, and back to the States. Due to a communication failure, his replacement ended up somewhere else, and transportation wasn’t an option due to the fighting happening.

Fortunately, Doctor Jones had seen potential in you and believed you would be an excellent doctor one day - something you wanted to pursue after your service was fulfilled. He became a mentor, helping you study and learn medicine, and giving you skills that an average nurse- even an army nurse- wouldn’t usually have. Now, it was just up to you, and a few young army medics - teenage boys who were given no choice in going to war, and their skills were found best in assisting injuries on the battlefield, but they were eager to help, and their light-hearted jokes and company helped relieve some stress for you, especially with the pain you watch day in and out. You didn’t always have the luxury of their help though, as when patrols went out, they required at least one of them to join. It leads you to have to order around other grunts who have no idea how to even measure the proper dosage of cough syrup for themselves whenever a serious injury comes in, having to give detailed orders on what to do- usually just getting you the supplies and medicine you need, as the grunts are typically too distracted and upset over their fallen brother to assist you in anything medical and complicated.

With being the only medical authority in the camp- as well as the only woman- you were well respected and popular. Your compassionate personality, and comforting presence, as well as your “Take-no-shit” attitude, led to soldiers of this camp visiting you all the time, usually making up excuses like having a cough, or a splinter in their finger, just so they could have the pleasure of your smile and encouraging words. The CO here made sure that they all treated you with respect, as a woman- and a nurse, so you never once felt unsafe- or unappreciated. Besides, a good section of this camp is young boys, too nervous about their situation to worry about trying to flirt with a woman like you. You're more of a comfort figure in these parts than anything else. Despite the stress and worry you face in day to day life, in the middle of the war, you were just happy to be doing something. You weren’t exactly a supporter of this war, but the moment you saw young boys lining up to go to war, something in you made you fiercely determined to follow, and do whatever you can to make sure those boys can go back home to their mothers and fathers.

The Rolling Stones was now playing on the radio, this was a band you were more familiar with - one of your favorites. Your foot tapped to the beat of the song, as you checked off another item you needed to be stocked up on- and hoped the supply chain doesn’t hold out on you again. For some reason, they seemed convinced that you must surely be lying about the supplies and will not send you the full amount of what you requested, leading you to storm into the CO’s tent on more than one occasion and rant to him with a few unsavory words about the supply lines commander. He always listens though, and does his best to get you what you can- which you can appreciate.

“Hey turn that up-” You heard one of the patients call out, and she smiles, reaching to the radio and turning the volume higher. She looked up from the desk to see one patient in bed moving his foot with the beat of the song, and the other, who asked her to turn it up, raised his arm in the air, hand in a fist as he rocked with the song. “This is a good one, hadn’t heard this one yet.”

“It came out in 65’ dumbass.” the other called out. “How’d you not know it?”

“I’ve been here since 64’ asshole! Think we always had access to a radio?”

They all chided each other, making you laugh as you shake your head, turning back towards your paperwork, determined to finish it today so you can send it out. It was rare you get these moments of quiet, so you appreciated it when you could. Things could turn on a dime in a second, especially since the fighting was getting closer to where this camp was set, and you’re hoping that you would get some help before anything serious came. You were just starting to get absorbed in the letter you were writing to the CO of the supply line, something slightly passive aggressive, when one of the soldiers yelled to you from outside.

“Hey! Nurse! There’s some guys coming this way! They got someone injured-”

You looked up, dropping your pencil, and turning the radio down as you readied yourself, brushing the pants of your army fatigues to straighten it out, and rolling your sleeves farther up your arms. You watched as the flaps of the tent get pulled open, as two men carry someone resting on a cot. You didn’t like how quiet the man was being.

“In here-” You lead them to another section of the medical tent, ment solely for treating wounded, in an attempt to keep something sterile and clean- well, as clean as you can get it. The soldiers set the man onto the table that sat in the center of the room, small trays and medical supplies, as well as a large overhead lamp that provided lighting to give you a better view at what you’re working on, surrounded the table.

“We got ambushed on patrol, fortunately he’s the only one that got hit, a VC jumped out of the grass and stabbed him. We got pressure on the wound, and he’s still alive- for now.”

You nodded as you went to a basin to pull on some sterile gloves, and walked over to examine the soldier. He was handsome- you couldn’t help but noticed but quickly put that out of your mind. A full head of deep beautiful brown hair, and a thick beard framed his face. He looked older, possibly in his mid 30’s. A sheen of sweat covered his skin, as his teeth were gritted and eyes cinched shut in pain. A wave of sorrow hit you, as you never liked seeing people in pain, it hits you bad enough to wonder why you chose to go into the medical profession of all things. Nevertheless, you push through, and began working on removing the uniform so you can see if you can save this one. At least he wasn’t screaming.

“Whats his name?”

“Logan ma’am. He’s Private First Class.” The private responds, voice professional, but quickly drops into something softer. “He’s a good guy, and smart, usually quick on his feet, its surprising someone ambushed him…”

“Need any help ma’am?” The other private who brought him in ask.

“No, I got it, thank you.” You tell them as you grab some sheers and began cutting through Logan's army garments. “Just make sure others are alright. See if any of the boys out there need water.”

They nodded, saluting- leading you to roll your eyes- and left your section of the tent, just as you manage to cut off the white wife beater he was sporting underneath his army garments, giving you a complete view of where he had been stabbed. You breathed a small sigh of relief, the wound appeared in the part of the torso where nothing vital was located and you managed to roll him to his side- seeing the stabbing didn’t go straight through, meaning this guy had a good chance of surviving, assuming he doesn’t succumb to infection…

“Alright Logan,” You turned you head to look at the man, who was still tense, eyes squeezed shut. He was somewhat awake, with his breathing and the way his muscles contracted, but he didn’t seem to be aware of what was going on, you still felt it important to talk to whoever you were treating though. You had to hold the hands of many scared soldiers, and quickly have learned the right things to say when comforting. “I’m going to take care of you, and in return, you’re going to need to be strong for me here.” You say softly but firmly to him, hoping that he’s hearing you through the pain, as you went and quickly grabbed a wet cloth out of a basin nearby, squeezing out the excess water, and gently placing it over his forehead, in order to soak up some sweat, and provide some more comfort to cool his skin that seemed to be burning hot. You couldn’t help but note that you don’t recognize him- you wouldn’t have forgotten his face that’s for damn sure, if he’d ever came to visit you, which most privates in this camp has at one time or another. You shook the curiosity out of your head, you had to move quickly, fighting the urge to wanting to take in the details of his face- his very handsome face, and moved to focus back onto the wound on his torso.

You started by slowly removing the packed bandages, examining the blood flow to make sure nothing gushed, but he really wasn’t bleeding much anymore- actually, it didn’t look like he was bleeding at all now. Confused, you began cleaning the area of the stab wound so you could get a clear view of what you were looking at. At first, you thought you were losing your mind, you had to been because what you were seeing…

It was as if the skin was growing back, the wound, going inwards seemed to almost pop out, before the skin stitched together, going through what the bodys usual healing process would look like- except doing it within a matter of seconds. Turning from a bright red inflamed wound, into a baby pink scar bump that slowly faded off, you couldn’t even tell anything had happen there- except from the blood stained around it. You were blinking in disbelief, mouth slightly agape, before it suddenly occurred to you what you were just seeing.

Oh shit-

He’s a mutant.

You looked at the man, who’s muscles seemed to be relaxing now, as he took deeper breaths, the sweat on his face began to dry and disappear. You weren’t sure what to do at this point, you’re so used to every minute counting to fix someone, and this guy just healed himself in seconds!

And by god, he was so handsome. You thought that already, got to stop thinking about that. Turning away from his face, you went to examine where the stab wound used to be, gloved fingers gently pressing on the area- before the soldier- Logan, practically yelped- and sat up rushed on the table, startling you even more so than him, as you jumped back, hands in the air in surrender- as if you did anything wrong.

He was panting, the cold wet cloth you had placed on his forehead fell into his lap, as he looked around with wide eyes, pupils dilated, his nostrils flaring, he almost looked animal-like in this state. He turned to look at you. His eyes took you in, and suddenly you felt embarrassed by your army clothes you were sporting, green cargo pants, and a green collared button up shirt, tucked into your pants, making you feel less than girlish in them, despite their comfortability, your forehead was covered in sweat, and your hair pulled back in a bun neat bun with baby hairs sticking out everywhere. At least you had lipstick on to give yourself a little bit of a pop in your plain looking outfit. That should be the last thing you should be worried about.

“You’re okay-” You finally found your voice, holding your hands out to him, “You got ambushed, but you’re okay now.”

He blinked, then let out a small sigh, his whole self seeming to relax, his expression turned more human-like, as he faced forward, then looked down at himself. His hand went over where he had been hurt- seeing that there was no longer any injury there, although something in his expression told you he could still feel it. He swallowed, jaw tensing, before realization struck him, and his head snapped to look at you.

“You saw- You know, don’t you?” He asks, his voice was deep, but sounded a little dry and scratchy. Still, it was enough to make your knees weak.

You turned, going to a cabinet that held medicines and various other supplies, but on the counter was a pitcher of water and a few glass cups. Pulling off your gloves, you poured a cup from the pitcher, turning back and handing it to him.

“Yeah. I saw.” You say cooly, holding it out for him to take. He looked at you, his deep and should you think gorgeous hazel eyes felt like they were piercing your soul; as if he was trying to decipher what was going on in your head, which you wish you knew as well because his stare was making your brain fuzzy; then glanced at the cup and finally took it from your hand, your fingers brushing together, making your heartbeat just a little faster, and you could feel a small heat blooming in your cheeks.

Jesus christ, pull yourself together

You thought to yourself. You cleared your throat while he took several swigs of water, dropping his hand with the cup to his side as he took a moment to breathe once more.

“Got anything stronger?” He asks, his low and smoother now, quirking a brow at you. You smiled,

“Sorry, anything alcoholic you may want to drink in here, I gotta save for the guys who can’t heal themselves within minutes.” You say teasingly. “Supplies are low enough already.”

You could see a small quirk of his lips, in something resembling a smile. He was still tense though, his eyes seemed to be somewhere else. He looked at you again,

“Does it…scare you? Me being a mutant?” He asks, his voice low

“Um….No?” You responded, confusion on your face, a small shake of your head, “Why would it?”

He seemed relieved- and surprised by that answer, his shoulders finally relaxing, and he took another drink of water, eyes closing as he finished the cup, and handed it back to you, where you set it back on the counter. Wiping his mouth with his arm, he sat up more confidently, bending his leg as he brought his knee up to his chest, and propped his forearm over it, and leaned back on his other hand, taking a few deep breaths as he lowered his head down, then looked back up at you, his expression suddenly stern.

“You gonna tell them?” He asks. You knew he was referring to the army. Mutants weren’t well accepted in the world- much less the US army. The American government is actually sitting comfortably in the capital and writing out bullshit laws on mutant regulations, rather than trying to figure out a solution for the war here in Vietnam. You, a mutant yourself, albeit your powers were easy to hide and conceal, you still feared of a day that someone somehow discovers your secret. You’ve heard stories of American soldiers revealed to be mutants being killed, due to some bullshit excuse that they “lied” about who they were, and couldn’t be trusted. Whether those stories were true or fearmongering to keep mutants hiding their true identities, you didn’t know, but you certainly weren’t gonna find out yourself. You definitely wouldn’t put another fellow mutant, just trying to survive like you, in any sort of danger like that, even if he could probably just heal if he got put in front of a firing squad.

You pursed your lips together. Then smiled. “No. I’ll keep your secret.” You say. “All it means to me is that I have one less person to worry about around here. I was actually wondering why I hadn’t seen your face in this tent yet before, and now I know why.”

He softened at that, but his face quickly fell back into something more serious and stern once more, which you’re starting to think might be his baseline.

“You okay?” You asked, your voice was soft, and sweet, and borderline angelic for a man like him, who’s been in wars almost his entire life- which you don’t know about that. “That probably didn’t feel good, what happened.” He nodded.

“M’ fine….Thank you.” He grumbles lowly, looking down at his hands. “I heard about you- actually I-I seen you around. You’re the only nurse on camp?” He asked, looking back up at you, there seemed to be a bit of curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah. I’m pretty popular.” You say, in a teasing voice, blushing at the thought that he’s noticed you. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, you are quite literally the only woman around, save for the women in the village not far from here.

“Must be busy.”

“Oh… Nah-” You playfully wave him off. “Some days are so slow, I’m actually bored.” You say matter-of-factly, but you both knew you were kidding. Another quirk of his lips. You smiled softly at him, but there was a voice in your head telling you, that since he doesn’t need your help, you should probably get back to helping the ones who do. Not that you want to leave, he was so damn handsome, you could stare at him all day. It wasn’t just his good looks though, his whole self drew you in with just a few words, and you find yourself wanting to get to know Logan, because the look in his eyes told you that he was someone worth knowing. Or maybe that was just your hormones talking. There was just this energy between you both, some type of unseen connection. His eyes trailed down you again, this time fully taking you in, stopping at your chest, and for a moment you were about to be completely turned off by this man being a pervert, but he nodded towards it.

“Your necklace?” He asked. You looked down, oh, you thought to yourself. You pulled the string of your necklace, lifting the small coin that it held, string carefully wrapped around it so it doesn’t fall off.

“It’s a prayer coin. A priest gave it to me.” You explained. “It’s the archangel Raphael. A protector, patron saint of medical workers, like doctors, nurses.”

“Like you?”

You nodded. He examined it, before you tucked it back under your shirt. You usually keep it hidden, but it must have fallen out while you were rushing. Now it was silent again, and you both weren’t sure what to do or say.

“Well….” You took a breath, you glanced down at his abdomen, and suddenly your brows creased in concentration.

“What?” He asked, by your sudden change in demeanor.

“You can’t exactly walk out with no injury. Those two privates were pretty worried about you.” You say, putting your hands on your hips and pursing your lips together. You clicked your tongue.

“I can figure something out-”

“No no-” You held your hand up and looking around the room. “Those privates brought you in, there’s probably an incident report written right now, not to mention I have to write a report on your injuries too-” you explained. “I mean, how are you gonna explain it if you walk out, completely A-okay?”

Logan shrugged simply. “I can think of something, it isn’t the first time this happened.” You rolled your eyes. Men.

You rather not waste bandages on a pretend injury, but you need someway to get his injury to look believeable, thats when you spotted your answer. His white tank top that you had drop to the floor, it was good enough to wrap around him, making him look as if he’s been all fixed up from his stab wound. The shirts cotton texture looked similar to the pattern of a bandage, and was good enough, especially considering no one would be looking hard enough at his wound anyway.

After a few minutes of “fixing him up” with your solution to keep his regenerative abilities a secret, you stood back examining the fake bandage/shirt that you tore up and wrapped around his torso, using bandage pins to hold it in place. Then shrugged.

“It’s good enough.” You say. “You’re not going anywhere anyway, so it’s not like you’ll raise a bunch of questions. It looks like you have an injury, it’ll match the incident and medical report. You won’t get found out.”

“I’m not going anywhere?” He raised a brow.

“Nope. You were injured, which means I gotta keep an eye on you. So you’ll be sleeping here, and you’ll have to pretend you’re in pain, whining and moaning and all that. Give it your best performance.” You encourage. “Take it, not many around here get a chance to get a break like that.”

He looked at you, pondering what you were offering him- well, you weren’t offering, he was going to have do it because you weren’t gonna risk him revealing himself as a mutant, which for some reason you were now more concerned about than he was. A small smirk appeared on his face, “That mean you’ll be waiting on me then, hand and foot?”

You smiled, “Don’t get ahead of yourself soldier.” You say teasingly. “You can stay in here a little longer, rest up, maybe shed some tears to make it look like you’re suffering tremendously.” You added a little flair as you brought your hand up to your forehead, pretending to faint, before turning and walking away to leave the room, now knowing you really needed to get back to work.

“I don’t think I need to shed any tears.” He mutters, but there was amusement in his tone though. “Hey bub” He called after you as you were about to leave the room, lifting the tent flap, but you stopped to look at him. “Why are you seen keen on helping me out? Making a plan to make sure people don’t find out what I am…Seems like too much trouble to go through for you.” He frowned.

“Well…” You dropped the flap of the tent, “Us mutants gotta stick together, right?” Logan looked surprised at first, eyes widening a bit, and jaw slacking, but then a soft, genuine smile stretched across his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling, leaving you thinking that was a smile you never wanted to go without again. Smiling back at him, you winked, and turned back before stopping and looking at him again, “Plus, you seem worth the trouble.” You add, before finally leaving him to himself.

Maybe it was too much trouble. You could leave Logan to figure it out himself. You two didn’t know each other, you weren’t friends. Yet you, the compassionate self you are, and also slightly bull-headed, was not going to leave Logan hanging alone. Maybe it was the fact that you were both mutants that urged you to help him, let him know that someone like him out there has his back, even if he had many brothers at his side watching his back too. Or maybe it was because you felt an undeniable pull towards him- and him towards you.

While he stayed in the medical tent with you for about a week, the standard time for stitches to stay in. While staying, you both got to know each other better. You found a deep friendship with Logan quickly, both of you having an understanding of each other, not just as mutants but as individuals as well. You were able to laugh, usually at his snarky remarks to the other privates and even his comments to the higher-ups, surprising you in how he likes to occasionally challenge authority despite how quiet and reflective he can be some moments. You saw him as brave, smart, and he was protective, always going first in patrols, and keeping an eye on the younger privates. He’d hid it well, rarely making it seen, but he had a compassion that made your heart swell, especially when you came across him comforting a young private who was homesick and scared. He had a good instinct that seems to attest to his mutation- which he later revealed the full aspects of it to you later on, claws and everything- which did nothing but fascinate you, leading to a full acceptance of him he hadn’t felt or seen in a long time. He’d visit you in late nights when he wasn’t assigned guard patrol, bringing you something to eat or drink, and you’d both quietly talk about your lives, and how’d you ended up there. He listened to you complain about the lack of supplies, and how you got into medicine in the first place. You’d learn of his brother Victor- another Private First Class there at the camp, who you quickly learned a distaste for after meeting him, and how old they both really were- leading you to bombard him with history questions, that he simply answered “I wasn’t there bub.” There was an unspoken yet mutual physical and spiritual attraction between you both, but before anything could have gone further in your relationship, down in the thick muddy jungles of Vietnam, you suffered a similar fate as your mentor Doctor Jones. A stray bullet having shot through your shoulder while you were out, attempting to help a young private who’s leg unfortunately got caught in a dirt trap. You were okay, but orders sent you home on a medical discharge, saying you fulfilled your duty to the States.

You missed Logan, and you also found yourself struggling to find your place back in civilian life again, the stress and the trauma of the things you saw weighed heavy in your mind, not to mention the worry you felt over Logan's safety while he was still over there. The only thing easing your worries was the letters you wrote to each other, until one day his letters stopped coming, and your own got returned back to you with no explanation, leaving you in fear of the worst….

#logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #wolverine #logan howlett x you #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett fic #wolverine x f!reader #wolverine x reader #wolverine x you #wolverine x men #i know the title will throw you off but TRUST ME #especially with the vibes of this fic #also like i said my first reader fic SO PLEASE BE GENTLE #vans daydreams

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ashblooddragons · 3 months ago

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The Red Queen (Chapter 6/?)

(i'm so sorry for the long wait! I've been dealing with some mental health issues lately and had no motivation to write. but don't worry I'm back on my meds and am feeling much, much better. I'm gonna try to get a chapter out once every 2 weeks because I have another fic I'm gonna work on now too. if you haven't voted in my poll yet please do if you want your choice to win! alright enough about me let the chapter begin!!!)

112 ac

Alicents pov

I watch as you, Rhaenyra and Lady Laena ride your dragons. My heart about leaps from my chest when you command Stormchaser to roll through the air. You had been learning and practicing new tricks wth her so I shouldn’t be surprised that you are now doing the ones you were cleared to do by the Prince and the Dragonkeepers. Though that knowledge does not help my fears.

“What are their names again?” Rhaenyra’s new lady in waiting Lady Myrielle Greyjoy asks.

“The yellow one is Syrax, she is the Princess Rhaenyras dragon. The grey one is Moonfyre, she is the Lady Laenas. And the white one is Stormchaser, she is the little Princess’s.” I say pointing to each.

She hums before turning to me again. “How often will we be expected to be waiting here as they are up there?” She asks.

“Well it depends, with Princess Rhaenyra you would be expected to do so each time. But the little Princess and Lady Laena it would depend if they invite you to watch. Rarely are the two Princesses in th sky at the same time, but the Princess Rhaenyra wished to try and stay out of the council meeting and this is usually the time Lady Laena and the little Princess fly and try their new tricks.” I respond just as Rhaenyra lands climbing off Syrax.

“So I have always to come out when she flies?” Myrielle’s little sister Nymeria Greyjoy asks as she points to Stromchaser.

I nod to Nymeria as I climb onto the steps in front of the carriage waiting for Rhaenyra.

“Syrax is growing quickly, she’ll be the size of Caraxes soon enough.”

“That's almost large enough to saddle two.” She says boredly as you and Lady Laena land climbing off your dragons with the help of Dragonkeepers.

“I’m quite content on the ground, thank you, but perhaps the Lady Myrielle would join you.”

“Oh no, I much prefer the ground as well, thank you for the offer though.” Myrielle answers quickly.

I watch as Nymeria walks past Rhaenyra to greet you and Laena. The three of you seem to be talking animatedly about something, though most children speak such ways even if it is just about bread. Though that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bring a smile to my face hearing your excited chatter.

You run over to me smiling and exclaim. “Did you see me Ali? Did you see my new tricks? Kepus showed me the rolling one!”

It is moments like this that I wonder how I can love you as a mother would her own child when you did not come from my womb. There are days I swear I had made you, for how else could this love I feel for you be real if not? I know it is just my heart telling my brain lies, but the thought never ceases to bring a smile to my face. For you are so sweet, so kind, so gentle, just like that beast of yours. I know I had not birthed you, but that does not mean you are not my girl. I hate to even think it but I raised you, not the Queen, not wet nurses, me. It is these thoughts and feeling that have always kept me going even when my mother died, when my father was cruel, when I felt nothing more than a waste of space.

“I did you wer-” I start to say until Rhaenyra cuts me off.

“Yes, we all saw you. Now may we go I don’t wish to get into more trouble than I alreadymost likely am.” Rhaenyra says as she climbs into the carriage.

Myrielle turns to look at me ready to ask the question I know she’ll ask the one each new lady in waiting asks. Is she always like this? I only whisper “Later.” and climb in with Myrielle with you, Laena, and Nymeria following behind us.

Once the carriage starts to move you and your friends look out the window looking at the market and side shows as we pass. Rhaenyra is telling the story of her first flight to Myrielle, but every now and then you girls get a bit to loud for her liking. The only ones of you who seems to be reacting is Nymeria, the only one who isn’t used to Rhaenyra’s chilling gaze.

It is a sad thought, that you and Laena are used to your sisters venomous words and hateful gaze that now it doesn’t bother you anymore. That it is your normal, that it is no longer something youfear but something you ignore.

It is these moments that make me hate Rhaenyra, the spoiled girl she is. She wishes for a sister this time as well and yet seems to have magically forgotten the sister she already has. She speaks of wishing to fly with someone in races but when you have asked in the past she had only scoffed or out right laughed at you. She wants to be a warrior, and her parents would probably let her, but she complains at any exerting activities or when she is sweaty or dirty. She wanted to be apart of her fathers council, but actively avoids it stating she has funner things to do. The world is handed to her on a sliver platter, and then she is mad it isn’t gold or diamonds.

It is these things mixed with how she treats you, that make me hate her in my very deepest parts of my soul. So much so there are some nights I pray to the Mother for forgiveness until the sun kisses my skin with its morning rays. When this happens I know I never will stop hating Rhaenyra but I can still ask for forgiveness each night at the hour of the owl until my heart and soul finally feel free of the rage I feel each day because of the eldest princess.

When we make it to the Red Keep a gold cloak comes up to you, your uncle had bestowed him upon your care until a new Kingsguard comes along who can protect you. He bends down and whispers in your ear, it must be good news as you run off with a smile on your face leaving Laena and Nymeria behind in your excitement.

As the guard follows you, me and Myrielle follow Rhaenyra as she wishes to see her mother before going to the council meeting.

“You know I hate you flying when I’m in this condtion.” The Queen says with a frown towards Rhaenyra.

“You don’t like me flying while your in any condition.” She says with a eye roll.

“Your Grace.” Me and Myrielle say in sync.

The Queen turns to look at us greeting us each in turn. Myrielle seems anxious being in the same room as the Queen so I reach for her hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. She turns and gives me a thankful smile.

“Is she kind? The Queen?” Myrielle whispers to me

“Yes, very kind. She is not called the Kind Queen for nothing.” I whisper back.

We’re brought out of our little conversation when we hear the Queen let out a annoye sigh.

“Go take a bath, you stink of dragon.” The Queen says annoyed at Rhaenyra and her behavior during their talk. Rhaenyra almost always leave the Queen annoyed and frustrated after her vistis.

Once we leave Rhaenyra walks ahead to go change quickly before going to the council chambers as she is already quite late.

Once we were alone Myrielle turns to look at me concerned. “Is the young Princess like the Princess Rhaenyra?”

I know why she asks this, for she worries her little sister, who she raised for their mother was too ill. What if she is in the hands of a cruel and spiteful girl, how can she help her little sister from a girl like that? Especially if it is a Princess.

“No, she is kind, sweet gentle, giving, and quite playful. I think the only thing you need to worry about is if your sister can keep up with her and Lady Laena and their wild games and adventures. Those two are quite energetic so I hope Nymeria can keep up.” I say with a giggle at yours and Laenas antics.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll keep up with them just fine.” she answered with a amused smile.

For some reason I know I have found a friend for life in the Lady Myrielle Greyjoy. I know I will not feel so alone anymore with her here, and I can see in her eyes she feels the same in this moment as well.

Your pov

I run towards the thorne room after my bath, I hear Ser Aldwin Sarwyck’s armor rattling as he tries to keep up. I burst open the throne room doors and smile when I see Kepus standing in the middle of the room smiling back at me.

“Ser Aldwin, please wait here.” I say closing the throne room doors behind me.

“Has he been good to you while I was away?” Kepus asks smirking as I run towards him jumping into his arms,

“I missed you so much!” I say excitedly as he catches me holding me close.

He chuckles as he carries me towards the throne and starts to climb the steps. “I missed you as well, ñuha riña. Though you never answered my question”

“He’s nice, he doesn’t seem to like when I talk to him though, says he’s trying to keep me safe and I’m distracting him.”

He hums at this and when I lookup at him, he seems upset about something I said.

“I’ve been being quiet around him more, not asking as many questions to him.” I reassure, but this doesn't seem to please him either as he sits on the throne and sets me on his lap.

“Enough of your guard hmm? I’ve heard you have a new lady in waiting, two in fact.” He says as he frowns as he moves my hair out of my face.

“Yes, Lady Nymeria Greyjoy, she’s ten, knows how to sing, dance and is very kind, oh and funny! She says the best jokes, me and Laena love her jokes! And Laena is very happy to be my lady in waiting because now she doesn’t have to leave.” I say excitedly.

He smiles this as he inspects the braid my maid gave me this morning. “That’s lovely ñuha riña, it seems you have not one but two wonderful friends now.”

I smile and nod as I touch the arms of the throne touching a ornate pomel of a sword. “Why are we on the throne? Were not supposed to be on the throne, this is Papas throne.”

I hear him chuckle as he reaches into a pocket in his jerkin. “And why should’t we be? This is our families seat, and it may well be mine one day.”

“No, Papa says the baby in Mama’s belly is a boy and it’ll be his heir.” I say matter of factly remembering what Papa has said to me when I asked if I was getting a brother or sister.

“Hmm, and who told him this, the Maesters?”

“No, Papa says he just knows. He said has had a dream of his child sitting the throne with someone sitting with them. He said there was fourteen candles in front of him.”

“A dream you say?” Kepus asks seeming deep in thought.

“Yeah, but Papa said he couldn’t see their face and that it was all blurry, but he knows his child must sit the throne or bad things will happen.”

“Bad things?” Kepus asks as he lifts my hair up.

“That’s what he said, when I asked he said it wasn’t for little girls. Kepus when will I be a big girl?” I ask as I feel him rest something to my chest and try to clip it behind my neck. When I look down I see a beautiful garnet stone, I gasp and touch it and notice the necklace chain matches the metal on my wrist.

“It’s Valyrian Steel!” I say excitedly as I tuen to face him.

“Yes it is, I left one in your sisters room it didn’t feel right not to find you one too. She better take care of hers as it’s quite fragile, I’m not finding her another because she’s careless. And don’t worry about getting older, there is plenty of time to see and learn the things of the world.”

“But I want to know them now Kep–” I start to say before the throne room doors open and Rhaenyra walks in fixing something on her next and messing with the neckline of her dress.

Ever since her fourteenth nameday shes been wanting to wear lower necked dresses. She also has been acting strange with boys, I’m worried because she seems to get something in her eye each time she talks to them s she blinks a lot each time she talks to them.

“Uncle, it’s been a age since you’ve visited court.” Rhaenyra says which confuses me as yes I missed him but he was only gone a moon.

“Yes well court is boring, I only come back to see my little sweetling.” Kepus responds as he stroke my hair.

“Well then why come back at all?” Rhaenyra says giving as she gives me a glare finally noticing me here.

“I already said why, your sister, though if you need more reason I heard your father was throwing a tourney in my honor.”

“That’s not for you, that’s for the baby!” I say with a giggle thinking Kepus is being silly.

“Hmm well can't it be for me as well?” Kepus asks with a amused smirk.

“I suppose, can it be for me too? Oh, and Mama too she’s the one she really should be celebrating!”

“I don’t see why not, it is a celebration for our family and that does include you and your mother.” Kepus says as he touches the stone of my necklace.

“Yes it is, though I did not come here to hear of celebration for some babe, I came to thank you for this lovely necklace Uncle.” Rhaenyra says as she flicks her hair back showing her necklace. It also seems Rhaenyra has something in her eyes again as she’s blinking a lot.

Kepus stands from the throne and carries me down until we’re in front of my sister. “I’m glad you like it, that means my brother won’t be bothering me anymore about finding you a Valyrian Steel jewlery.” He says almost boredly.

“My father told you to give me this?” Rhaenyra says in a tone that makes me grip my Kepus’s jerkin.

“I believe I just said that niece.”

Rhaenyra scoffs and turns around stroming out of the throne room. I don’t understand why she is upset, she got what she had asked Papa to give her, just from Kepus. I’ll need to ask Septa Martha about this in my leasons with her tomorrow.

I look up at my Kepus and see him already looking down at me. “Who did your hair today. it’s all in your face?” He asks as he tucks my hair behind my ear again.

“My new maid Gloria, she’s Ali’s age she said my hair is tricky.” I say as I touch the silver waves that at times curl.

Kepus chuckles and starts to walk out of the throne room. “Well lets go and fix this ‘tricky’ hair hmm?” I nod as I tell him all of my adventures while he was away.

Little did I or anyone else know, that, that day would be the last normal one to ever grace mine or their lives for a long, long time. But at least I’ll have my Kepus through all of it right…right?

Series Masterlist

Also the characters Nymeria and Myrielle are my Besties @sugutoad ocs so give her love for these magnificent characters!!

@ilikefelines @sugutoad @baybaybear1 @sachaa-ff @classicsimpforaaronwarner @mmogurl

This is what I see for the necklace Daemon gives Princess. I hope you all love it as much as I do!

also special thanks to @sugutoad for making the header for this fic! I don't know what I'd do without you girly!

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blueishspace · 2 months ago

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Hero, Villain God 26

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You plan to officially meet up with Pearl two days later, as civilians, at a coffee shop that just happens to be where you met Scar as well... Interesting how coincidences are.

You desperately needed the break from Scar's anxiety... he's really energetic on his own and being stressed makes it worse somehow.

When, on the day you decided on, you arrive she is already waiting for you near the counter, talking to a red-haired barista she seems to know personally in some way, you aren't going to lie... It's a bit akward interrupting their conversation like this but at the same time you really don't really want to just stand there like an idiot. Luckily she notices you, or maybe she used her powers to sense you or something ...you aren't sure that's how it works but whatever, and waves you to join her.

"So are the two of you related?"

You turn to the redhaired barista and look at her name tag, Cleo huh? You think about it, in a way you are cousins-

"Oh, he's my brother, Grian"

Ok, guess you are going with this story now. You aren't going to fight her about this, she's the goddess of wisdom and you don't really have a better story. The barista nods and takes your order before leaving to go and prepare it. You do have to ask though.

"Brother huh?"

"In the fake backstory I made for myself I mentioned having a brother, this was the perfect way to deal with that specifc loose end and at the same time introduce you without it being suspicious"

"We still have different accents"

"Split parents, grown up in different countries. That should work if someone were to question it."

"...You could have just used your powers to convince them of anything."

"That would be a waste, mate. And an insult."

The barista... Cleo comes back with your orders and you smile at them.

"So, couldn't help but wonder, how do you know my ...sister?"

They freeze for a millisecond at that before giving an answer, interesting.

"We are roomates, there's me Pearl and our other roomate Scott."

"Oh, I didn't know that"

Pearl sips on her coffee, she's secretly enjoying this, thats an even more interesting reaction. Then after a few seconds she speaks up.

"Oh, I had no reason to tell you ... It's a pretty new arrangement"

"Hmm alright!"

The barista leaves again to serve another customer soon after.

...

"They are a villain too aren't they?"

"Yep, though technically in a way she wasn't wrong about the three of us being roomates. It just omitted a lot of important information"

"Guessing that Scott guy they mentioned is also a villain?"

"Sure thing"

"...Who?"

"Phthisis and Winter King, you can guess who is which"

"Thought Phthisis was more...hmmm, how can you say it... zombie-like?"

"Oh, they can be."

You nod and that conversation is cut off there as you sit down at a table. You have an idea though.

"You know, I should introduce you to my roomate as well since we are at it"

"Roommate who I'm sure is not involved in anything? For example heroism or vigilantism or villainy."

"Of course, why would he be connected to any of them."

"... Is it Hotguy?"

"Oh no no no! It's Boogeyman!"

". . .You have very weird tastes in men"

"So do you."

"What? Scott? Ahahah! Never said I didn't, did I?"

""Eh guess not! So?"

"I guess I could come by to introduce myself, it will at least make the deception more believable."

She looks at your coffee as she sips her own.

"Also the whole chaotic energy thing you have going on turned your coffee into slime, you should get an hold on that before someone else notices. Or don't, dealing with consequences for once might do you good."

You look down at your cup... It did turn into goop...well, that's disappointing, you kinda wanted to drink it. Oh well.

"I'll tell Mumbo about it then... I'm sure he'll say yes."

*End of Chapter 6*

#trafficblr #traffic smp #hermitblr #hermitcraft #grian #pearlescentmoon #hero villain god au

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chimcess · 2 months ago

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→ Chapter Eleven: Following Rivers Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 16.1k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST, strong language, PTSD, flashbacks, self-hate, self-depreciation, talks of death, everyone is going through it, getting to know some more characters, love-triangle, Jin is being kind of a dick, I promise we'll start seeing more Jimin as this goes on but he's just really depressed right now, Sam is a HUGE flirt, Kook is a vibe and I love him, Secrets to be reveled later, disabilities are going to be a huge part of Yoongi's life now and his arc so bear with a lot of that being in his povs, he's my favorite person in this series (so far, later you'll meet by baby for life), possibly wrong medical terminology, sexism and misogyny will be hinted at, everyone is going through it, lots of grief and heartache, Babyboy just wants his best friend back, mourning her life she's dead, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: Thanks for reading <3

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Yoongi's POV

The night was too loud—everything was loud—like the world had turned up the volume just to drown me out. Crickets chirped incessantly, their sharp songs digging under my skin. Somewhere in the darkness, the witches chanted, their voices twisting together like secrets I wasn't supposed to hear. I sat on the porch, my fingers tracing the worn grooves in the wood. It used to calm me when I was a kid. Now it just felt... empty. Everything did.

The stars above were a blur, smudges in a sky that once looked like magic. Now it was just a cruel haze—a kind of blindness that let me glimpse shapes and light but never enough to truly see. The battle with the elves had left me like this. Half-blind, half-alive. And I didn't know which half was worse.

My porch used to be our refuge. I could almost hear Y/N beside me—her laughter mingling with the fireflies dancing around us in Moland. But I couldn't picture her smile anymore, and that hurt more than anything else. Her memory was slipping away along with my vision, leaving only empty outlines where something bright used to be.

There was a party going on somewhere in the yard. The witches were celebrating Wendy's new role as head witch and our recent win against the elves. We would've done it sooner, but after Cordelia's death, any idea of joy felt wrong. I thought it was still too soon for something like this, but Wendy seemed up for it, and Jin went into full planning mode the moment she smiled. Their laughter and shouts made my head hurt. Some of them had offered to hang out with me back here, but I didn't want the company.

Pretending to be happy with near strangers wasn't something I could do.

I heard footsteps approaching—slow, hesitant. It was my mother. She didn't say anything at first, but I felt her warmth beside me. I avoided looking at her; everything looked like an old black-and-white film from Northorn, and it broke my heart every time I saw her without color. "Yoongi," she said softly, her hand resting lightly on my shoulder. So light it was almost not there. But it was. Everything felt heavy now. "How are you holding up?"

I exhaled, the sound shaky. "I'm not," I finally said, the words coming out more bitter and broken than I intended. "I don't even know why I should try to hold on anymore."

Her hand tightened on my shoulder. "We've been through so much," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "But we're still here, Yoongi. That means something."

Does it? I thought. I didn't say it, but the weight in my chest felt suffocating. Carrying it another day seemed impossible, and the thought made me want to scream. "I miss her," I whispered instead, your name lodged in my throat. "She always knew what to do."

My mother sighed, her fingers brushing my arm. "She did," she agreed quietly. "But she wouldn't want you to carry this alone. You've still got people who care about you. Jin—"

I flinched at his name, cutting her off. "He doesn't need me. Not when he has Wendy to think about."

"That's not true," she said firmly. "You don't have to do this alone, Yoongi. Let him help you."

"Wen's mom died," I reminded her.

"I understand that. Dee meant a lot to me. I've known her my entire life. But you're hurting, too," she replied thickly. "You've been doing your best to make him happy through all of this. He's just lost right now. Bring him back."

I stayed silent. The idea of reaching out felt impossible—a weight I wasn't ready to lift. The silence stretched between us, her hand on my shoulder more burden than comfort. "I'm tired," I muttered, leaning forward and resting my face in my hands. "I don't know if I can do this right now. Or ever."

I groaned, rubbing my eyes. The blur gave me migraines. "I don't think I can do anything anymore."

"You can," she insisted, her voice steady. "You're stronger than you think, and it's okay to let others be strong for you."

I didn't argue, but her words felt hollow. Letting people help me wouldn't prepare anyone for the war. Wouldn't fix the shining. I wanted to tell her how empty it all felt, how each day was a battle to find a reason to keep going. But what would that change? She couldn't fix this. No one could.

And the last thing I wanted was to worry my mother more than she already was.

Footsteps again—lighter this time. Wendy. Mom kissed my cheek, patted my shoulder, and headed back inside Mi-Jeong's house. If there was one good thing about staying here, it was how close Mom and Hoji had gotten with Jimin's mother. Even I had to admit I liked her. She made me laugh and went out of her way to make the house easier for me to navigate while we figured out a way to fix my eyes.

Once Ji-Hyun left to stay with Callisto's family just outside the gates, things got a bit quieter. Jin and I hadn't spoken much since everything settled; he was too busy helping Wendy take over as the head witch of her coven. Before Ji-Hyun left, we'd teamed up against the wolf a few times. His wife was the only reason we didn't confront him more.

Callisto was sweet and gentle, fiercely loyal to her husband and his whims. Ji-Hyun held a grudge against Y/N for reasons he wouldn't share. His wife, despite his silence, didn't let him off the hook if he even thought about saying something rude about her. He'd calmed down considerably before they moved out, but I had a feeling it was more for his mother's sake than any real remorse.

"Yoongi?" Wendy's voice cut through the thick silence, cautious. She stopped a few feet away, her figure a blur of gray against the darker gray of the night. "Are you okay?"

I almost laughed—a bitter, hollow sound. "No," I said flatly. "But I guess that's just how it is now."

She moved closer, her presence warm but almost suffocating. Everything was shades of gray, like the world had been drained of color. My eyes were still healing, leaving everything hazy and indistinct. "We're here for you if you need anything," she said, echoing my mother's words. "Jin and I—"

"Don't," I interrupted, my voice low and rough. "You know just as well as I do that Jin isn't here for me as long as you're around. So spare me the speech."

Her silence hurt more than any response could have. She sat beside me, her shoulder just brushing mine. I kept my gaze down; the porch beneath us was a washed-out gray, the wood grain barely visible through the blur. "He cares about you a lot, Yoongi," she said softly. "Even if it doesn't feel that way. Even when he's being... difficult."

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to feel something—anything. But all I felt was the same hollow ache that had settled in since that night. I nodded slightly, enough to make her think I was listening, but my eyes remained fixed on the indistinct, grey shapes at my feet.

Laughter drifted over from next door—too bright, too alive. It sounded out of place in this monochrome world. All I could do was sit there. It was so pathetic I wanted to cry.

"You know," Wendy said gently, her voice tinged with hope, "I've been trying to get him to talk to you more. Maybe if you put in a little effort, it could help. I know he misses you."

"Doesn't matter how much he loves and misses me," I muttered. "You're his top priority now, Wendy."

"But you should be, too," she insisted, her fingers lightly touching my arm. Her hand was a pale shade against the darker fabric of my sleeve. "Promise me you'll at least try?"

I nodded again, a mechanical gesture more for her benefit than mine. "Okay," I murmured, the word scraping out of my throat. "I'll... try." It was a lie, one I didn't even believe.

Wendy's hand rested on mine, warm against the cold that had settled into my bones. It should have been comforting, but now it was just... there. The lack of color made everything feel distant, unreal. Wendy had been a great comfort to me when we were younger, but now, after everything that happened, it just felt wrong. She shouldn't be here with me. If there was any hope that Jin and I could remain friends, she needed to stay as far away from me as possible.

But Wendy either didn't know or didn't care. When I talked to Jungkook about it, he said she was just naïve. Sam called her selfish. That made me laugh. It was something Y/N always said about her, too. I think everyone had at one point or another. Even Cordelia.

The name sent a shiver down my spine. It was ironic that I was calling Wendy selfish when her mother had died just weeks ago, and she was here comforting me. Jin was right. I was a bad friend who only thought about himself.

"You're not alone," she repeated, her voice steady.

I swallowed hard, my throat aching. Alone? I'd never felt more alone. Even with her beside me, it didn't change the hollow ache inside. The world around us was a blur of grays, shadows without definition. "I feel like I am," I admitted, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

"Don't say that," she said firmly. "You're still part of the family. You're still you."

Still me. What did that even mean anymore? The person I was before felt like a stranger. My fists clenched, the grainy image of my hands tightening in my lap. Frustration bubbled up. "Wendy," I began, my voice rough. "What if this is it? What if we never find a cure? What if I'm stuck like this forever? Then what?"

"Then we'd figure it out," she said softly.

"There is no 'we,'" I snapped, taking a deep breath to steady myself. The motion made the hazy edges of my vision swim. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice my outburst. "Mom would have to move back to Bangtan, and while everyone else is playing house, I'd be stuck as the blind cripple who needs his mommy."

"Don't talk about yourself like that," Wendy said sharply. "Even if it doesn't feel like it, you matter to us. You're still the most valued person here. What do you think everyone is celebrating right now?"

I stayed quiet. Her words didn't reach the part of me that felt like it had crumbled to dust. The grayscale world around me felt empty, lifeless. It was easier to retreat into the numbness, to hold onto the pain because at least it was familiar.

"You, Yoongi," Wendy's grip on my arm tightened. Her face was a pale blur, but I could sense the intensity in her gaze. "You single-handedly took down more elves than anyone here. You sacrificed your body for us. Why do you think Jin's being a jerk? He feels insecure and inadequate next to you. You've never known how incredible you are, have you?"

I wanted to tell her I hadn't, but I kept my mouth shut. We were treading dangerous ground, and I prayed no one else heard what she said. The sea coven was full of gossipers, and I worried Jin would hear about it. I didn't want to fight with him.

"Thank you," I whispered eventually, the words thin and weak. The night pressed down, the grayness seeping into everything. My thoughts drifted to Y/N—her laughter, her vibrant presence that seemed to bring color to everything. Without her, everything felt impossible. Without her, I felt... nothing.

I knew if she were here, I'd be doing a lot better right now. Y/N and I had a bond deeper than any other I'd ever had. Samanya was becoming a close second, but we had a few cultural differences that made it hard to get as close. She was also one of the most beautiful beings I'd ever seen, her image in my mind a vivid contrast to the muted world before me.

There were only two others who'd ever made me feel the same way: Delta and a man here I refused to acknowledge existed half the time. The impossibility of that relationship made it easier to pretend that just the sight of him didn't make my heart race. Like I didn't watch him like a stray dog hoping for scraps. He never noticed. Of course he didn't.

Wolves didn't practice homosexuality. When I asked Jungkook about it, he said it was viewed as a mental illness. Mates were for breeding, and a wolf who didn't want to continue the bloodline was so out of the ordinary they didn't think it could be natural. Y/N had explained something similar before, but she didn't know all the ins and outs like the young omega did.

"I miss her," I muttered, my chest aching. "She made it all easier."

Wendy's voice softened, her grief barely hidden. "We all miss her. But she wouldn't want us to stop living. She'd want us to keep going."

"Going where?" I asked, my voice cracking. "What's the point if everything just ends?"

"The point is we're still here," she said gently.

I didn't answer. The world around me was a sea of gray shadows, the party sounds muffled and distant.

"Yoongi," she said after a moment. "I know it's hard. I know you feel like you've lost everything. But you haven't. You're just... hurting right now."

I wanted to argue, but the fight was gone. I just sat there, staring into the hazy blur of a world I couldn't fully see, feeling like a stranger to myself.

The night stretched on, Wendy beside me—a flicker of warmth in the endless gray. I didn't know if I believed her, but for now, I'd let her stay. For now, I'd let myself breathe. It was all I could do.

Eventually, Wendy stood up, leaving me alone. The party was still in full swing, a large bonfire crackling, casting shifting shadows in shades of gray. A group of women gathered around it, their figures indistinct. I watched Wendy find Jin, saw the way she fit under his arm—their forms blending into one another in my blurred vision. Either he hadn't seen us or was choosing to ignore it.

I hoped it was the latter.

I leaned back against the rough wood of the porch, every nerve weighted down by a relentless exhaustion. It wasn't just my body that felt broken—it was everything. The world, my place in it, me.

I'd lost count of the nights spent like this—stranded in the dark, drowning in thoughts I couldn't escape. For the first time, I felt like I understood Y/N's nightmares. When they were at their worst, I'd sleep in her bed to wake her up, and she'd spend hours telling me how horrible and guilty she felt for being so angry and upset all the time. She never called herself a burden, but now that I was in her shoes, I knew that's what she meant.

I knew she was fine and alive out in Lustra somewhere, but it didn't stop my mind from mourning her as harshly as I'd mourned Cordelia at her memorial service on the shores of Syrena. Maybe even more. I loved Wendy's adoptive mother, but I didn't know her as well as I should have. Y/N was my best friend, and her absence was gnawing away at whatever sanity I had left.

Minutes—maybe hours—dragged by, each one heavier than the last, until the soft sound of footsteps cut through the quiet. They were barely there, and if my ears weren't so tuned in to what was happening around me, I wouldn't have heard them at all. Then I caught the faint scent of mist and wet grass. I knew who it was before she spoke.

Minutes—maybe hours—dragged by, each one heavier than the last, until the sharp sound of footsteps pulled me from my thoughts. They were barely audible, but I'd become attuned to every little noise. Then I caught the faint scent of mist and wet grass. I knew who it was before she spoke.

"Mind if I sit?" Sam's voice was brisk. When I looked up, her face was a pale oval against the darker grays of the night. I wished I knew what color her eyes were. They were the only thing I wasn’t confident in my guesses about. They were light, but I could not tell you what shade they really were. She'd always been beautiful, but tonight there was something different—something that made me appreciate her even more.

Her eyes were a soft gray, her hair a dark shadow framing her face. I knew that if I ever got my full sight back, she'd be even more striking. But for now, it was nice to be around someone when appearances didn't really matter. She didn't seem to mind helping me navigate or putting up with my bad moods, either.

Sam was nearly perfect. It was just too bad I had someone else in mind when we weren't together.

Those dimples were so deep I could make them out from the porch anytime he walked by...

"Go ahead," I muttered, nodding toward the spot Wendy had left.

She settled beside me with an ease that felt out of place next to my stillness, her energy humming softly between us. "You look like hell," she said bluntly. "What's got you in pieces this time, Yoongi?"

I let out a hollow laugh, the sound harsh even to my own ears. "This time?" I echoed, shaking my head. "It's always the same stuff." I gestured vaguely at the night—at nothing and everything. "Take your pick."

Her smirk faded slightly, and for a moment, I thought she might soften—but Sam wasn't the soft type. She never sugarcoated things, never pretended it would all be okay. Part of why I didn't push her away like I did the others. Yet, anyway. I'd already drawn the line about romance with her in my head, but I knew I was weak, and she made me feel comfortable. She reminded me so much of Delta...

No, I couldn't go there.

"Yeah, it's bad," she agreed, her voice steady. "But sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to change anything." She leaned closer, her breath warm against my cheek. "Staring at them will make Seokjin angry, you know."

I snapped my eyes away from the fire. I hadn't been looking at Jin or Wendy, but it wouldn't surprise me if Jin thought I was. He'd become more paranoid and distant these days.

I turned to her, bitterness bubbling up, unable to hold it back. "What do you want from me, Sam?" I didn't care if it made her uncomfortable—she'd chosen to sit here.

Then I felt bad again. That wasn't fair.

Sam didn't flinch. If anything, her gaze sharpened, unwavering and direct. "You think you're the only one feeling this?" she asked, her voice low. "You're not. We're all carrying it, Yoongi. The war, the losses, the uncertainty—it's wearing us all down."

"Then why don't you look like it?" I snapped, my fists clenching. "Why do you still act like there's something worth fighting for?"

"Because the alternative is giving up," she said simply. "And I've seen what that looks like. It's worse than this."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Doesn't sound so bad right now."

She was silent for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice held a rare gentleness. "You're not the first to feel that way. And you won't be the last. But giving up? It doesn't end the pain, Yoongi. It just spreads it. You think Wendy's okay? Or Namjoon? Or the rest of us?" She paused. "We're barely holding it together. But we're still here. And so are you."

The mention of his name made my pulse quicken, and Sam knew it. She only brought him up to get a rise out of me. Her spending time with him didn't help. The thought of both of them together—breathless, naked, sighing—was the first thing that had truly distracted me all day.

He was so... captivating.

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes—not that it mattered. Everything was just as hazy and muted as before. It was better at night. I could see things a little clearer. The sun made my eyes burn and itch, and I couldn't leave the house without shades. Taejin was kind enough to give me a few pairs.

"I'm not here, Sam," I whispered. "Not really. Without my sight, I'm a terrible fighter, and without that, what's left of me? I don't serve much use here."

She sighed softly. "You're still you, Yoongi. Maybe some things are different, maybe you're feeling lost. But you're still here. And as long as you are, you've got a chance to figure out who you'll be now. Life doesn't stop just because you want it to."

I wanted to argue, to push her away, but there was a stubborn truth in what she said.

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" I asked, the question slipping out more like a plea than I'd intended. "That I'm so messed up I can't even use magic? I keep trying, and nothing happens."

"You don't have to say anything," she said quietly. "I don't want anything from you. But maybe you should want something for yourself. You've lost a lot, but you haven't lost everything. You still have your mother. That's more than many here can say."

Guilt gnawed at me for snapping at Wendy earlier. It wasn't just Wendy, either. Jin had almost lost his father. Enver had nearly been killed multiple times in that fight. Sol, as much as I hated to admit it, had lost the only person she ever knew as family, and no one seemed to care. Taehyung, maybe, but I knew they weren't talking much. Countless others had fallen as well. Sam wasn't wrong—I was lucky to have my mother.

It didn't erase the fact that my life felt irreversibly damaged. I was the only witch with a permanent disability, the only one no one could heal. Maybe I had the right to feel a little bitter.

"I don't know how to do that," I murmured, barely audible. "How to want anything anymore."

She nodded, her expression unreadable in the grayscale blur of my vision. "Then start small. Want to survive. Want to see tomorrow. Want to believe things can get better. And if you can't want it for yourself, then want it for the people who still care about you."

I couldn't respond. Couldn't argue. After a while, Sam shifted closer, her movements deliberate but careful, like she was approaching a wounded animal. I didn't turn my head, didn't acknowledge her beyond the faint scuff of her boots against the porch. I didn't have the energy.

"You know, Yoongi," Sam said, her voice lighter than it had any right to be on a night like this, "I've always thought you were handsome."

"I know," I mumbled, barely more than a whisper, my voice worn thin. "You know how I feel about you already, just like every other person you’ve sunk your teeth into."

"You're my favorite," she chuckled softly. "You haven't even let me get that far yet. And your skin, those eyes..."

I rolled my eyes. No one ever liked me for my face, and I knew Sam would say anything if she thought I'd give in just a little. My body buzzed with anticipation that I forced down. I didn't know if I could handle something like that right now, even if it might feel good.

Sam's laugh faded, and her tone shifted. "I'm serious, Yoongi. You've got this whole mysterious, brooding thing going on. People like that."

I let out a bitter breath. "What people?" I muttered, shaking my head. Then, a faint smirk tugged at my lips. "I'm a blind guy who can't do magic. Who's lining up for that?"

"You'd be surprised."

I turned slightly toward her, a sigh escaping my lips. "You're relentless, you know that?"

"It's part of my charm," she said, and before I could respond, I felt her shift closer. Her breath was warm against my cheek, and then her lips brushed mine—soft, tentative, giving me a chance to pull away.

But I didn't.

Instead, I leaned into her, my fingers brushing against her arm as I kissed her back. It was brief, just a moment, but it felt like a small light flickering in the darkness. When she pulled away, I could still feel the warmth lingering, and it made me feel... something. Something other than emptiness.

"Thanks," she whispered, barely audible. "For letting that happen."

I swallowed, my throat tight, and nodded. "Thank you," I said softly. "For wanting it to happen."

She smiled—a gentle curve I could almost see in the hazy grayscale of my vision.

Silence settled between us, comfortable for once. I watched the party slowly disperse. Jin and Wendy passed by on their way back inside. Jin glanced down and grinned at me. He was probably happy to see Sam's head leaning on my shoulder. I didn't look to see Wendy's reaction. It didn't matter.

The ache in my chest didn't go away, but I did feel a little better than I had earlier.

Eventually, the last of the witches were gone, and the fire began to burn low. Sam was unusually quiet, but I think she knew I needed time to think. Watching the smoke curl up into the night sky, I tried to keep my mind off the sadder thoughts that seemed to be on repeat lately. Sam deserved better, and I was exhausted from it all. I needed a break.

The sharp creak of the front door pulled me from my thoughts, and Jungkook's familiar voice broke the quiet—loud and bright, just like always. I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips. He was exactly what I needed, even if I wasn't sure I could match his energy tonight.

"Guess who!" Jungkook called, bounding onto the porch, his grin as wide as ever. "Hope you two haven't died of boredom without me!"

Sam smirked, standing up and leaning against the railing, arms crossed. "Not yet," she shot back. "But the quiet was nice while it lasted."

I chuckled softly but stayed quiet otherwise. The silence had been nice, and I wasn't quite ready to let it go. Jungkook's energy filled the space, bright and insistent, but I could already feel how drained I was from earlier.

"Perfect!" Jungkook plopped a couple of bottles on the table with a clink. "That's why I brought reinforcements. Drinks to celebrate surviving another day in this lovely mess we call life."

"Getting drunk sounds nice," I muttered under my breath, the words tasting bitter. I didn't feel like we were surviving all that well—maybe it was just me. But alcohol? Alcohol I could manage.

Sam glanced at me, her expression unreadable, then turned back to Jungkook. "And you think drinks are going to solve everything?"

"No," Jungkook shrugged, undeterred. "But they won't make it worse, right? And besides, who says no to a little fun?"

I let out a hollow laugh, the sound cracking in the still air. "Fun," I said, shaking my head. "Don't know if I'll be much help with that."

Jungkook's grin faltered, his eyes flicking toward me, then away. "Hey, come on," he said, his voice softer now. "You're still here, Yoongi. That's gotta count for something."

The words landed like stones in my chest. I gripped the bottle he handed me, the cold glass calming me for a moment. "I guess so," I said, barely above a whisper.

Sam straightened, her teasing demeanor fading. "Yoongi..." she started, but I shook my head.

"I'm fine, Sam," I said, my voice sharper than I intended. "Just a rough day. Can we just crack open whatever the kid brought and have a good time?"

Jungkook shifted uncomfortably, his bottle clinking as he set it down. "We all have bad days," he said steadily. "You’ve been having a tough time lately, and I don't think it's fair for anyone to make you feel bad about it. I can leave if that's easier. You two seemed fine before I got here."

"It's fine, Kook," I chuckled, touched by his thoughtfulness. "It's not your fault I'm so..." I trailed off, unsure how to finish.

Jungkook's expression softened, and he reached over, giving my shoulder a gentle nudge. "Hey. We're all in this mess together, right?"

Sam sighed, stepping closer. "You're too busy shutting us out to let us help," she said quietly. "But we're not going anywhere, Yoongi. We're here."

I swallowed hard, my throat tight. Their words didn't fix anything. They didn't make the weight on my chest any lighter or the darkness any less suffocating. But for the first time in a long time, they made me feel less alone.

"Now, come on," Sam teased, nudging my shoulder just enough to pull me out of my spiraling thoughts. "You're being so depressing you've got Kook acting serious. That's a first."

"Hey, I can be serious," Jungkook protested, though his usual smile was back, not quite reaching his eyes. "But right now? I'd rather laugh with my friends than sit around dwelling on things I can't change."

I raised my bottle in a half-hearted toast. "Sometimes, laughter is all we've got."

Jungkook lifted his own bottle, grinning. "To laughter, and to the best friends a guy could ask for."

Sam rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get all mushy on us now."

We clinked our bottles together, the sound echoing softly into the night. The weight on my chest didn't disappear, but it felt a little lighter.

"I'll kick Chief Kim's ass for you in a heartbeat," Sam joked after taking a sip.

"And I'll turn Bo into a goat," I added, trying to keep the mood light.

Sam giggled. "We'd actually get some use out of her then."

"You two are so mean," Jungkook laughed, shaking his head.

"It's part of the charm," Sam shot back, her grin widening.

We finished our first drinks quickly, and Jungkook was more than happy to crack open a few more. The night was young, and the smell of the bonfire still lingered in Mi-Jeong's backyard. I used to love that smell, but now it brought back memories I didn't want—the kind that made me squeeze my eyes shut and remind myself that I was safe. That nothing bad was going to happen.

"So," Jungkook said, leaning forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes, "what's next? More drinks? Truth or dare? I want to make things interesting."

"Let's not get too wild," Sam warned, though the curiosity in her smirk betrayed her. "We've got enough chaos in our lives. Don't think we need any more drama."

"True," Jungkook agreed, his grin softening. "But hey, we might as well have fun while we can. Those bastards will be back eventually."

Sam's expression shifted, a playful glint in her eyes. "How about a round of 'Devil's Lie'? Ever played, Yoongi?"

I raised an eyebrow, the corner of my mouth twitching despite myself. "Who hasn't? Are you sure you're ready to lose?"

Sam laughed, leaning in so close I could feel her breath. "Try me," she challenged.

Jungkook let out a playful hoot. He'd always said he wanted Sam and me to end up together, something about "eternal happiness" for his only friends. Sam and I just laughed it off. She didn't do the whole marriage and kids thing, and I was perfectly happy without any strings attached.

Jungkook tilted his head toward the house. "Hang on. I'll go see if Momma Park has a deck lying around." He disappeared inside, leaving Sam and me in the warm night air.

A moment later, Jungkook returned, holding a slightly battered deck of cards in one hand, a triumphant grin on his face.

Sam helped me over to the small table on the porch. I could see it was a shade of a mid-tone grey, but the design—a dark shape curled up on itself—was still a bit blurry. I settled into a chair, trying not to cringe as Sam's chair dragged loudly against the wood.

"Alright, game refresher," Jungkook announced, setting the cards on the table. "The rules are simple: play a card face down and say what it is. If no one calls your bluff, the game moves on. If someone thinks you're lying and they're right, you drink. If you're telling the truth and they call you out, they drink. First to lose all their cards wins."

Sam's eyes lit up as she grabbed her drink. "Finally, a game I was born to win."

I smirked, picking up my bottle. "We'll see about that."

Jungkook shuffled the cards with surprising dexterity, then dealt them out. "Let's make it interesting," he added, grinning. "Every round starts with 'I bet the Devil,' because why not?"

Sam leaned forward, her grin mischievous. "Oh, this is going to get ugly."

Jungkook went first, laying down a card. "I bet the Devil... this is a seven of spades. Also, I had a crush on a teacher once."

Sam groaned. "Seriously? That's your big confession?"

"I think he's lying about the card," I interjected, squinting at him.

Jungkook turned it over with a flourish—it was a seven of spades. "Drink up, Yoongi."

I groaned as Sam burst out laughing. "I'm going to be so bad at this. I can't see your faces that well without the moonlight."

"I can get a lantern," Jungkook offered, but I shook my head.

Fire wasn’t as bad as direct sunlight, but my eyes were sensitive enough right now that it added some strain.

"I'll manage."

"My turn," Sam said, sliding a card down with theatrical flair. "I bet the Devil... this is a king of hearts. I've never been with a woman before."

I squinted at her, trying to gauge the truth. "The card's a lie," I said confidently. "And that story is complete bullshit, too."

She flipped it over—it was a king of hearts. "Nice try, Yoongi. Bottoms up!"

"What about the story?" Jungkook asked.

"Oh, a complete lie," Sam replied, already reaching for her drink.

Jungkook leaned back, watching us with a grin as I took a reluctant sip. "This is going better than I expected," he admitted, placing his next card. "I bet the Devil... this is an ace of clubs. And I never snuck out at night."

Sam snorted. "You're full of it. No one makes it to your age without sneaking out."

“Card?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Bullshit,” I said.

“Think he’s being honest about the card,” Sam waved me off.

Jungkook flipped the card over—it wasn't an ace. Sam cursed under her breath and took a long sip while Jungkook gave us a smug look. "Told you I've got a good poker face."

"Good boy," I teased, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Mom's favorite," he shot back with a grin.

Jungkook had some of the brightest smiles I'd ever seen. The only flaw was his slightly too-long front teeth, but even that suited him. Namjoon's were a close second, but I didn't see him smile enough to compare.

I wished I could see him smile more. He was always so... compelling.

The night carried on like that—the game quickly evolving from simple bluffs to playful confessions and outright ridiculous lies. By the end, we were leaning into each other, laughing so hard that tears pricked at the corners of our eyes. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough for now.

The dim light filtering through the tavern's grimy windows felt like tiny knives stabbing at my eyes, even from where I was tucked away in the corner. Without sunglasses, stepping into full daylight wasn't even an option—the pain just wasn't worth it. I hunched over my excuse for breakfast: rubbery eggs and toast so dry it could double as a coaster. Hunger insisted I try, but every bite tasted like last night—greasy, regretful, and tinged with the bitterness of too much ale and too little honesty.

I pushed the plate aside with a metallic scrape, wincing at how sharp the sound was. The murmur of voices around me tangled together, a blur of lives I wasn't part of, just out of reach. Conversations mixed into a static hum, like I was behind some invisible barrier, listening to a life that wasn't mine anymore.

The creak of the tavern door broke the monotony, a cool draft brushing past as it opened. Two voices followed—one light and easy, as familiar as home. Hoseok's laughter rang out, warm and effortless, undercut by Hyuna's softer chuckle. Their voices cut through the haze like sunlight piercing storm clouds.

"Mind if we join you?" Hoseok asked, his tone as laid-back as ever, though I could hear the weariness beneath it.

I gestured to the empty seats, managing a small smile. "Go ahead. Just a heads-up—the food's as bad as it looks."

"If Yala cooked it, I can imagine it's bad," Hyuna said, eyeing my plate with a smirk. "Greasy, stale, and questionable at best?"

"Pretty much," I muttered, pushing the plate farther away.

Hoseok chuckled, but the sound lacked its usual spark. "Hey, at least it's not rations out of a tin like the copiae are getting in the field. I'd take overcooked eggs any day."

We shared a weak laugh, but the moment was fleeting. The weight of everything we'd been through, the constant worry, crept back in—thick and heavy. Hoseok leaned back, his eyes drifting somewhere far away. "Bridd saved my life in that last battle," he said quietly. "I don't even know how, but she did. I keep thinking... it should be me out there instead of her, alone."

Silence settled over us, broken only by the clinking of glasses and low murmurs from across the room. A pang shot through my chest, the reminder of Bridd's absence cutting deep. She'd been our anchor, the one who kept us steady. Without her, it felt like we were all just... floating.

"You miss her," I said softly, voicing what we all felt.

Hoseok nodded, his face tight with worry. "We all do. But Jimin's taking it the hardest. He's been beating himself up since that argument they had before she left. This war... it's tearing us apart."

Hyuna's expression softened, her eyes distant. "I keep thinking I should've said something to her, thanked her for everything. But I didn't. None of us did, really."

"We didn't either. Barely saw her after she woke up," I swallowed, my voice rough. "She's the heart of our families, and I don't think she ever realized how much she held us together."

Hoseok's hand rested on the table, his fingers tapping lightly. "I can't even imagine what it'd be like if she doesn't come back. Jimin's trying to act strong, but he's falling apart."

"He's been so distant lately," I murmured. "He doesn't know who he is without her anymore."

"Namjoon's been keeping him company," Hyuna nodded, her voice quiet. "He's hardly around here anymore. Only talks to people when he has to."

"I've been trying to keep an eye on him," Hoseok muttered. "He's easy to find—training, Bridd's place, or scouting. He's here all day, then slips away when things get quiet to spend time at her house. He's been fixing it up."

That brought a small grin to my face. It was nice to think it'd be ready for her when she got back. Unless, of course, something happened to it again. I doubted the elves would bother returning to the clearing. The witches who'd gone to Clarcton to find family said everyone thought Y/N was dead when they found her cottage destroyed and 'the Bird' gone.

We didn't correct them until they were back in Foxglove. Y/N's whereabouts were classified now.

"I'm worried he might hurt himself if something happens to her," Hyuna whispered.

"He might, even if he doesn't know," Hoseok replied. "We're not meant to be apart from our mates for this long. He must be going insane."

Their words echoed the fears I'd been trying to bury. I clenched my fists under the table, feeling the rough wood grain beneath my fingers, focusing on the tavern's hum of voices and clinking glasses. Out there, life went on, uninterrupted. But here, in our little corner, everything felt like it was standing still.

Whether we liked it or not, the three of us would be on the front lines.

And everyone knew I might not make it.

No one wanted to admit it.

Hoseok broke the silence with a sigh. "Yoongi," he said quietly, "have you thought about what happens after all this? After the war?"

The question hit me harder than I expected. Survival had become everything—the only thing. Thinking beyond it felt strange. I wasn't sure I'd see the end of it. With my eyesight the way it was, I felt weak, at a major disadvantage. Magic was helpful, but without the confidence to use it, it was useless.

Most of my spells fizzled out lately, and I was too frustrated and upset to keep trying.

"I know with your eyes, fighting might be tough," Hoseok continued, not noticing how still I'd become. "I'd understand if you wanted to stay back, maybe help out at the palace with Sol. She's a bit immature at times, but she's a sweet girl. You'd be good for her."

I stopped listening.

I couldn't be stuck on the sidelines. I wasn't meant to be there. I was a strong fighter—the best at night by a long shot. Jin might have more brute strength, his energy electric and full of fire, but I was just as deadly.

I could make the ground split in two. I could turn blades of grass into vines strong enough to break steel. I could summon a hurricane with a whisper. I could do so many things if they'd let me.

If I could let myself.

Then the sound of screaming rushed in my ears, and a cold sweat broke out across my skin.

I needed air.

I managed to get outside, bumping into a few chairs and tables on the way. The cool breeze hit my face, and I leaned back against the weathered wall, letting the cold ground me. It cut through the fog in my head, the chilly morning a relief from the tavern's stuffiness.

The smell of blood and ash had filled the air, screams and the clash of steel blurring together. I remembered the weight of their stares, how hard it was to breathe, the sharpness of their blades. The elves had charged us swiftly, mercilessly. I'd fought, felt the sting of cuts I barely noticed through the adrenaline. I could still see the glow of that elf's purple eyes as he reached out and covered my face. And then, in one blinding moment, all I felt was searing, burning pain.

I had bested him in the end, but fighting after that had been nearly impossible. The only reason I'd been able to call out to Y/N was because things hadn't gotten as bad as they eventually would. While I was in the palace with Enver and Namjoon, everything went black. The small bit of vision I'd recovered was thanks to the countless healing spells everyone had tried on me.

I met Sam during that time—when everything was blurry and upside down. She told everyone the "shining" had its advantages, but that my body needed to heal on its own. Not many survive the initial burning, she'd said, and we'd have to wait and see what became of me. It took months for the full effects to settle in, but she could already tell my vision was adjusting to the dark. Each day, my eyes became more metallic, turning silver as they healed. She said the grayscale was a good thing.

I didn't believe her. Not at all.

Sam befriended me out of some morbid curiosity about what would happen to the little witch who survived elf magic. Now, she wanted to sleep with me. Quietus were strange creatures, but I'd come to adore Sam and all her odd quirks.

"Yoongi?"

I turned, steadying myself against the rough wall. Hoseok's footsteps were careful, like he didn't want to startle me. I hadn't even heard him come outside.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, concern threading through his words.

"I just... needed a minute." I tried to keep my voice steady. "I'm easily overwhelmed lately. Apologize to Hyuna for me. That was really rude."

Hoseok was silent for a moment, then I felt his hand on my shoulder—warm and grounding. "We're all carrying more than we should," he said gently. "You can talk to me. Maybe it'll help. What does it feel like?"

A bitter laugh slipped out before I could stop it. "What are you referring to? My eyes or the nightmares?"

"The nightmares." His voice softened. "I know enough about your condition. I just want to know about you right now."

I shook my head, pushing my glasses further up my nose. The sun was bothering my eyes even more out here, but I barely noticed. Everything was too bright, too sharp.

"It feels like they never stop," I admitted. "Even when my eyes are open, they keep happening. Sometimes I don't know what's real anymore. It's... frightening."

Hoseok took a deep breath beside me. "Hyuna's been having the same issue," he said, leaning against the wall next to me. "Waking up screaming my name. When we got separated, she barely noticed, but seeing me hurt like that was horrible for her. Her friends died. Both of my parents died. It's been really hard."

I hadn't realized he'd lost his family. I knew his older sister was still around the village. The Jungs were good at covering their pain, it seemed. I reached out, my hands fumbling until they found his shoulder—maybe a bit too close to his neck, but he didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling his fingers brush against my hand before enveloping it. His hands were large and warm—scorching, almost. I didn't know how Y/N dealt with it; it felt like I might melt. "I didn't realize. I would have gone to the funeral."

He shook his head. "We couldn't have proper funerals for anyone. Too many bodies. They burned them and gave the ashes to Ji-woo. We're too afraid to display them right now. They could get destroyed in another fight."

"I can charm them," I blurted out. "Make the porcelain sturdier. I can't make it unbreakable—charming isn't really my specialty; that's Y/N's thing. But I'm good enough to give you some peace of mind."

"We'd appreciate that," Hoseok said, squeezing my hand. "Thank you."

Bridd's absence gnawed at me. If she were here, she'd promise Hoseok and anyone else with a vase of ashes that they'd never break again as soon as she got her hands on them. Funny—we used to tease her and Wendy for struggling with defensive magic. Wendy said she didn't believe in violence but knew enough to defend herself if needed. Y/N was even less into it, but she was so resourceful she scared even the best fighters among us.

I'd never seen someone make fire so quickly and easily before. A natural talent, my mother had said. It was her only truly offensive attack, but even I could admit her protective spells were where she truly shined. Healing, shields, and all the strange and whimsical spells she made up to escape quickly and quietly—they were fascinating.

My heart felt heavier.

"What happened between Bridd and Jimin?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. It was a question that had haunted me since she left.

We all knew the gist: an argument that got out of hand, and Y/N had a really bad day. She left in a flurry of emotions and disappeared. Many of us were quick to blame Jimin for her leaving, but when details about Sol being the catalyst emerged, that blame shifted.

I felt bad for the girl. She didn't think Y/N would run off and hurt herself. I understood she was trying, in some ways, to get her to stay by making sure the one person who could convince her not to go was extremely against the whole idea. Unfortunately, she didn't know my friend all that well and ended up sending her packing even sooner than planned.

Sol was a child. Eighteen was barely an adult, and she'd been pampered and treated like a princess her entire life. What did anyone expect? For her to be mature and handle things like a seasoned warrior? Not likely. Especially not when she had such a sweet and bubbly husband like Taehyung, who just wanted to please her.

They still were hardly speaking.

Hoseok sighed heavily. "It's complicated," he said. "They argued about Sol, about her leaving. Bridd was trying to protect him, and Jimin pushed for answers. Things got heated, and they both said things they regretted. But Jimin..." He paused, his voice dropping. "He's a mess without her. Regret doesn't even cover it."

"I know. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what everyone is doing about the elves. Thelma hasn't been very helpful."

"The council meets daily, but we can't get on the same page. Namjoon, Jungkook, and I are doing most of the talking. Jimin's making hundreds of war plans for every scenario you could think of. There are so many maps in that room. Bo and Kim are trying to ease the minds of the older folks. Taehyung is shockingly level-headed, working with Jimin to iron out details."

"And Sol? Is she just hiding while we pick up the pieces?" I couldn't help the sharpness in my voice.

No one had seen the Luna since her wedding. It wasn't a good look, and when we heard about Jungkook being her personal guard through all this, we nearly stormed the palace to demand why she thought she deserved special treatment. Heji had calmed us down, but dissent for Sol spread through the village like wildfire.

Hoseok's grip tightened on my hand. "It's not that simple, Yoongi. They're keeping a close eye on her in the palace. She's trying to keep her family safe and deal with everything she's set in motion."

"That doesn't excuse her," I snapped, anger spilling over. "It doesn't excuse any of this. We're out here fighting while she sits behind walls. And Y/N..." My voice cracked, the ache in my chest almost too much to bear.

"Yoongi." Hoseok's voice was firm, cutting through my anger. "We're all in this mess, every one of us. The girl is having a mental breakdown in there. She can't even get out of bed anymore. Taehyung won't speak to her, and she's miserable. She tried... harming herself a few days ago, and now they have guards watching her around the clock. Blaming Sol won't bring Bridd back or make this any easier."

"I know." The anger faded, leaving only emptiness behind. "But it feels like everything's falling apart, and I'm completely useless. You know no one expects me to survive the next fight."

Hoseok let go of my hand, and I dropped mine from his shoulder. I could see his silhouette leaning back against the wall beside me. The light made everything an overwhelming flood of white and gold, edges blurring and details lost in the glare. I hoped I would find something better than these stupid human inventions with time.

The edges allowed sunlight in depending on which way my head turned and the coating on them wasn’t as dark and thick as I would have liked. Yet another thing Y/N would have figured out how to fix. She had the most creative spell ideas out of everyone I had ever met.

She might have even been able to find a way to get my eyes back to normal given enough time.

"You're stronger than you think," Hoseok said gently. "You made it through that battle. You're still here, and that means something, even if it doesn't feel like it right now."

“I’m here for now,” I rebuttal, unhappily.

“You heard Samanya, sooner or later your eyes will be better than any of ours at night. Then, you’ll be the most useful person in the entire village.”

“Sure.”

The street around us was still, the morning quiet making me far more unnerved. Birds did not chirp anymore. Most of the deer were in hiding. Insects and the occasional frog were the only sounds. At that moment, it felt like we were in a bubble, the noise and weight of the war held at bay just for a second.

“Is Sol alright?” I asked.

“Doing better,” Hoseok huffed. “She’s not really sure what she’s supposed to be doing, and no one is willing to let her help with anything now. Bo isn’t letting her in on any of the war meetings, Namjoon’s father thinks she’s too stupid and frail to be any help, and I think Tae’s just too overwhelmed and overloaded to step in between them.”

“Still not talking?” I asked.

Hoseok shook his head. “He talked to her last night, and he’s been trying to spend more time with her, but Sol’s not being very receptive to him right now. Koda has been with her mostly, and she said Sol hasn’t eaten or spoken for days. Weeks if you want to count her just sipping on water and force feeding herself crackers and bread. She looks horrible.”

“And Taehyung?”

“Worried,” Hoseok cleared his throat. “Sorry, I have a cough. He’s just spread too thin right now, and no one is being very helpful. Jimin, maybe, but he’s too distracted to really give much advice. It’s why I think you going and being around Sol might help.”

I laughed, “And why would I be the ultimate solution to all of their problems?”

“Because you’re nice, and Sol needs a friend.”

I shook my head. The thought of spending time with the girl who was the reason my best friend left was not appealing to me, but I did understand where Hoseok was coming from. Even if I did not particularly care for her, it wasn’t nice to hear that she had attempted to take her own life. No one should feel like that is their only option.

Maybe I will stop by one of these days. See if I could get the girl a decent meal. Gods knows she was already skinny enough before. Has to be practically wasting away now.

I heard the tavern door open and slam shut. Heavy footsteps fell and were coming for the two of us. A good guess was that it was Hyuna. Peeking over Hoseok’s shoulder, I saw his wife.

She was tall and slim, just as skin and bones as her husband, with long hair. I remember meeting her once or twice before, but couldn’t remember the color of her hair. It was brown, not too light or dark, but that was all. Her skin was dark, the color reminded me of a bronze-gold Viola. She was pretty. I remember thinking she was pretty.

Right now, she just looked like a stick figure drawn in ink that was smudged with the side of a hand.

Hyuna’s voice broke the silence as she joined us, her tone steady and sure. “Are you alright?” Her hand found mine, warm and solid. “You looked shaken up.”

I swallowed hard, nodding as some of the tightness in my chest eased. “I’m alright, Hyuna,” I said, my voice thick. “Just a few things I’d rather not think about.”

“I have those, too,” she replied, her eyes kind.

The morning air was crisp and biting, but with my friends beside me, I felt a spark of warmth, a small flicker of hope breaking through the shadows. We’d lost so much, and there was still more to face, but standing there, I felt like maybe we had enough to hold on to.

“Come here, baby,” Hoseok muttered, grabbing hold of his wife. Hyuna melted into his side. He looked back at me. “We need to get back to the palace. Hyuna’s scheduled to watch Sol in an hour and I need to get back to the council room before Jimin rips Bo’s head off.”

“No problem, man.”

“Will you be alright?” Hyuna asked.

“Always am,” I replied.

They each gave me a small hug before heading off towards the palace.

I leaned against the cold, rough wall of the building, trying to catch my breath as my mind spiraled through everything weighing on us—the war, the losses, the unknowns stretching out like an endless road. I closed my eyes, hoping for a moment of peace, but the darkness clung to me, seeping into every corner of my mind.

The sound of footsteps pulled me back to reality. I turned toward them, and a flicker of relief went through me when I saw Sam and Jungkook. I couldn't see if they looked as rough as I did, but it didn’t really matter to me. We had fun last night and I felt bad for possibly ruining that light atmosphere we’d been able to hold onto for a few hours. Hoseok and Hyuna had most likely run into them on their way out. It was the only way either of them would have known I was here.

“Hey,” Sam said, her voice soft. “You okay?”

I forced a small smile, though it felt like it could break at any second. “Just needed some air,” I replied, my voice sounding as worn out as I felt. “How about you two? Holding up?”

Jungkook shrugged, his jaw tight, his usual spark dimmed. “Same as everyone else, I guess. Just… trying to make sense of it. Hangovers don't mix well with war meetings. Happy Jung is relieving me. I hate seeing my cousin like that.”

Sam took a small step closer. “Hyuna told us you were here,” she said gently, her voice carrying the same sadness that weighed on all of us. “She told me what happened. Are you sure you’re alright? She made it seem like you freaked out.”

I swallowed, the ache in my chest tightening. “Yeah,” I managed, barely above a whisper. “I’m just… everyone keeps talking about Bridd, and it brings back a lot of memories. I hate that she’s not here right now. The witches aren’t united and nothing is getting done. I’m pissed off and sad.”

The three of us stood there, caught in a silence heavy with grief. Y/N had been more than just a friend to me—she’d been my anchor, hope, and strength when I needed it most. And now, that strength was gone. She had made me feel like I was worth something. Like I could be something more than a conquest. She was the only person that we grew up with who made me feel like I was more than just a piece of meat. Nixie and Delta had been helpful as well, but the romance always left room for doubt in my mind. With Y/N I knew she just really loved and cared about me with or without strings attached.

She was like that with all of us. The most well-respected and adored little witch as far as the eye could see. And we all knew it. Jin, Wendy, our families, and the little witches—big and small—were all aware of the gaping hole we kept avoiding talking about. We needed her here right now, and nothing Thelma or anyone else did could change that fact.

The fact that Enver and Thelma might have known she would leave prior to any of this happening made my stomach churn uncomfortably.

“Have I ever told you I talked to Jin before?” Sam finally broke the silence.

“No,” My face scrunched up. “Why would you do that?”

“It was back when your vision was at its worst. Before Bridd even woke up.”

“Oh,” I said back, dumbly. Jin never acted like he even knew Sam existed half the time. The fact that he’d spoken with her at all was news to me. Wendy couldn’t have known about it. She would have told me. She wouldn’t have been able to help herself.

Wendy was bad with secrets. Jin, too.

Huh. Maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I had.

“What’d he say?” I asked.

“I told him I was worried about what would happen to everyone if she never woke up,” Sam’s voice was like butter. “That hope within your people would die out as quickly as it went in. He told me that Bridd used to say hope was like a stubborn weed. You could try to pull it out as many times as you wanted, but it would always come back, even stronger.” She let out a soft laugh, more sad than happy. “She woke up, of course. The whole conversation didn’t really mean much of anything afterwards, but I can’t help but think about that sometimes. Because she was right. You could see how defeated she was—her eyes couldn’t lie, but she still clung to the hope of finding something better and bringing it back. An impossible task and she looked at it with nothing but mild annoyance and disdain.”

Sam laughed in disbelief. “And then she went off on her own like a fucking lunatic. She left this place thinking that her fiancé hated her, her friends betrayed her, and that she would die out there one way or another—and she still went. She wanted all of us to live even if she died. She had hope that she’d make it far enough to find Naida and whatever happened after didn’t matter.”

“She believed in that hope, even when we couldn’t,” Jungkook added, his voice raw. “She made us believe, too.”

I nodded, the sharp ache of missing her settling deep. “She wouldn’t want us to give up,” I said, feeling the truth of it in my bones. “She fought for this—for us. I can’t let her down.”

Sam reached out, her hand resting on my shoulder, grounding me. “Your friend is as crazy as Queen Terra was, and that woman stood tall against the elves. A mass genocide and she was still screaming. That’s what your girl is doing, and we will be doing the same.”

Jungkook moved closer, placing his hand on my other shoulder, his grip strong. “For Bridd,” he said, his voice filled with quiet determination, “and for everyone we’ve lost.”

Bridd had given everything she had to protect us, to stand for something bigger than herself. And even though she was gone, her spirit lived on in us, in the bonds we shared, in the strength that kept us going. The road ahead was dark, full of uncertainty, but we’d walk it together.

As the sun slowly rose, casting light across the worn cobblestones, I felt a hint of warmth—a reminder that dawn always comes after the darkest nights. We couldn’t change the past or erase what we’d lost, but we could honor Bridd’s memory by holding onto hope and fighting on. She’d left us with that much: a spark of resilience even in the deepest dark.

“For Bridd,” I murmured.

And for once, the light didn’t bother me so much.

I stood by the river, watching as the last of the sunlight hit the water. The river sparkled, flowing east where it would inevitably end up in the Talay Ocean. Around me, the sky was deepening. I had never realized how much I had taken sunsets for granted until I could no longer watch the colors swirl together. It was twilight now, and the sky would be streaked with crimson and plum. Sunsets this close to the water were always the most beautiful.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to reach for my magic. It used to come so easily, just a flick of my wrist, a thought. But now, it felt like pulling teeth. The light that once danced at my fingertips was nothing more than a weak spark, flickering out before it even formed. Frustration twisted in my chest, sharp and tight.

Nothing really was the same anymore.

Clashing metal, the roar of flames, blood, wolves at my feet, swirling smoke clouding my vision, white hair, violet eyes, burning, and then the screaming.

Always the screaming.

I tried to shake off the memory, forcing myself to focus on the gentle sounds of the river. It was a futile distraction at best. Bridd’s face surfaced in my mind, and I felt the sting of her absence all over again. I could almost hear Jin’s laughter, taunting me with each failure, each flicker of magic that sputtered out.

“Not so hot now, Min,” his voice was distorted and dripping with more malice than my friend was capable of.

I clenched my fists, trying to channel the frustration into something useful—anything that might remind me I hadn’t lost myself entirely. I flicked my wrist. Nothing came.

“Come on,” I muttered under my breath. “You can do this.” But all I got were a few faint sparks that faded into nothing. Every failure widened the hollow ache inside, gnawing at my resolve.

The riverbank was too quiet. I wondered if it was as lonely as I was. I groaned, kicking my feet and connecting with a few stray rocks. The sun had finally set, and I ripped the stupid glasses off my face. With each passing day, things became clearer. Tonight, the lines were sharper, and the details between the trees a bit more noticeable. Of course, still no color had come back. Cadoc said it most likely never would.

Tears welled up in my eyes. My entire chest tightened with all the frustration, anger, and hopelessness I felt deep within me. I was a failure. I was nothing. I was...

I wished someone was there to break me out of my own head for a while.

A rustling in the bushes made me jump, my body tensing instinctively. But it was only a bird, flapping away, leaving me alone again. I sighed, looking up at the sky. At least I could make out the stars again. I looked around, hoping to find Scorpius.

I found it tucked away, forming a ‘J.’ I smiled. Antares was the easiest to spot, a faintly red and brightly lit star. The only thing that could rival the other star called Mars. I was not sure how they got their names, or when, but it was interesting to look at them all. This, at least, I could still do.

“Today is a new day,” I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from the sky.

I tried the spell again, but again, nothing happened. Again. A faint spark. All I wanted to do was a very simple, very basic electricity spell. Each failed attempt felt like a punch to the gut. I hated being reduced to this weak and pathetic state where the very thing I was born to do felt impossible.

I flicked my wrist. “Leohtfæt.”

A white-hot bolt shot out, but instead of flicking out like it should have, it exploded in a small burst just after leaving the tip of my index finger. I shouted, pain shooting through my arm. A murder of crows flew up from the surrounding trees in a flurry. None of them made a sound.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I let out a shout—raw and loud, breaking the quiet. I kicked at the dirt, wishing I could do something—anything—to shake this feeling. I was in a cage, a small songbird, and I couldn’t figure out why I wanted to sing anymore. Beside me, the river kept flowing, steady and indifferent. I stood beside it, stuck.

“Get it together,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “You’re stronger than this.”

I didn’t believe myself.

I took a few steps back from the river’s edge until I felt the solid ground under my feet. It felt more reassuring than the wet mud had. My magic was still somewhere inside of me; I just needed to shake off the fear and regroup. I was able to make a bolt.

It blew up in my face, but it was more than I’d been able to do in a few weeks.

The river glowed underneath the moonlight, the world around me softening, muted. I leaned against a twisted tree, still caught up in the mess of my own frustration, when I heard her voice.

“Yoongi?” Sam called out.

It was soft, like she wasn’t sure if she should interrupt. I turned toward the sound and was struck by how much clearer she looked tonight. Her hair cascaded down her back, dark and perfectly straight, and she was wearing some kind of loose-fitting dress. I had never been able to see her features so clearly before. Bathed in a gentle, dream-like glow, she stood out against the trees like some sort of goddess.

Humans might even mistake her for one of their angels.

“I thought I might find you here.”

I tried to smile, though it probably looked tired. “Hey,” I said, my voice as worn as I felt. “Didn’t realize I’d been out here that long.”

Her footsteps were soft as she came closer. She was taking great care not to startle me. Footsteps and loud noises sometimes brought me back, and I’d be unable to speak for a few minutes. Her lips were pulled down into a half-frown. They were plump and full, and I rejoiced in being able to know that about her.

Such a far cry from a few days before on Mi-Jeong’s back porch.

“I just came from Jimin’s. He’s... well, he’s managing. Sort of,” she said quietly. “Namjoon and I kept him company for a while, but he ended up slipping out a few minutes ago.”

I swallowed, guilt biting deeper. “Is he alright?”

She hesitated, and I saw her shifting uncomfortably, searching for the right thing to say. I had never been able to see her squirm before. “Not really,” she admitted. “But he’s trying.” She found a rather large rock near the river’s edge and sat down. “Doesn’t sound like the magic training is going very well.”

I nodded, going over to sit beside her. She made room for me before leaning her head against my shoulder. Her small touches of affection were growing more common between us, but they did not bother me. In fact, I welcomed them. Even if I knew she had just been with Namjoon—I flushed as I thought of him—it never made me feel uncomfortable. If anything, it only made me want her beside me more.

It was almost like touching him.

“Nothing?” she asked, so gently that I almost wanted to cry.

“Yeah,” I said, lifting my hands. “I got a few sparks here and there, but it’s hit or miss. I need to start testing a few of the other simple spells and see if it’s just my defensive magic that’s clogged up.”

She didn’t speak right away. Her head stayed on my shoulder, and her hand came to claim one of my own. She pulled it down to rest in her lap. Her legs felt cold against my skin. Her thumb gently traced my knuckles.

“That’s better than before,” she said finally. “I think your body is still a bit afraid after what happened. Might be trying to keep you safe.”

Frustration spiked again, making my voice come out sharper than I intended. “It’s not that simple, Sam. Bodies don’t do that.”

She didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch. Instead, she squeezed my hand a little tighter. “No, it’s not simple. None of this is, but your body is far more complex than you think it is.”

I felt her lips against my neck. They were cold and wet. I shivered.

“It happened to me just after the Sarkan invasion,” she whispered in my ear. “I was a young girl, but I remember how afraid I was. I couldn’t do anything for years afterward. I felt just as human as the people who stole our land. So many of us were deeply affected.”

She sighed, shifting back to rest against my shoulder again. “I don’t think you’re all that different. King Castor, who wasn’t a king at the time, told us that our minds like to play tricks on us to protect themselves. Fear is the most powerful weapon in the universe. Have I ever told you about my time with the dragons?”

“No.”

She chuckled. “A story for another time, I suppose. They’re strong and brave people, but they understand much about the body that the rest of us don’t. His wife, Queen Affra, said she knew why iron hurt the fae people but no one ever believed her. It’s too long ago now to remember it, but I wish we’d taken them at their word sooner. It’s the only reason their numbers were able to recover so quickly after the end of the war.”

“I was always told it was because they fucked like rabbits.”

“Well, there’s that, too.”

We both shared a quiet laugh.

She slid her hand up my arm, her fingers tickling my skin, before she took hold of my bicep. “Being strong doesn’t mean you’re not scared,” she said. “It just means you keep going anyway.”

“Are you scared?” I asked, looking down at her face.

It was even easier to see it now. Her eyes were hooded, her nose too pointy and thin, and her face a perfect oval. She reminded me of a very beautiful fish. I leaned down and kissed her between her eyes. She hummed in contentment.

“More than I’ve ever been before.”

I swallowed, her honesty touching something deep inside me, a part of me I hadn’t let anyone near. “I don’t want to drag everyone down,” I said, my voice breaking.

“You’re not dragging anyone down,” she said, her voice fierce, eyes blazing. “Not me, at least. You matter, Yoongi. More than you even realize.”

Something warm flickered in my chest. “I just… I don’t want you to feel like you have to carry me.”

She kissed my cheek this time. “I care about you, Yoongi,” she said. It sounded like a promise. “And that’s not something you get to decide for me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I let out a shaky breath.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

She smiled, and I wished that I knew what color her lips were. Were they like strawberries or the dusty roses in my mother’s garden in Clarcton? “You don’t need to thank me,” she said softly. “Just let me be here, okay?”

I nodded, and we let the silence settle around us. The river murmured, the leaves rustled above, and as night crept in, I felt the gentle hum of life moving forward. Faintly, the crickets were beginning to chirp.

The darkness wasn’t gone—it never really was. It still hovered there, the screams clinging to my mind. But with Sam’s hand in mine, something shifted, and I could vaguely see through the cracks in the trees. They weren't very big, but they were just enough to let a little light in. I took a deep breath, letting the cool night air settle me, and felt more sure of things than I had in a long time.

“You’re right,” I said quietly, my voice a little stronger. “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do with all of these feelings. I’m so lost and scared, Sam.”

“One step at a time, okay? You’ll figure it out eventually.”

I nodded, feeling gratitude I couldn’t put into words.

After a moment, Sam’s tone shifted, her voice taking on that playful edge I’d come to know and love. Did I love Sam? I couldn’t be in love with her, but I guess I did feel something akin to love. “So, I’ve got some gossip for you,” she said.

My curiosity sparked, tugging me out of the heavy thoughts weighing me down. Shifting, I bent over. Sam giggled childishly. I dipped my fingers into the river, feeling the cool water wash over them, and the residual ache from the spell was gone. I heard her shuffling around until she leaned in beside me, her warmth pushing back against the chill of the night.

Sam wasn’t as warm as me, and nowhere near as warm as the wolves, but I expected an air elemental to be freezing. She said when she “merged.” That’s what they called it when they became more air than solid. Merging with the atmosphere, or whatever Cadoc had said.

I rarely spoke with him, and when I did, I didn’t pay attention. He was nice enough, but boring to converse with. Sam said he wasn’t around much anymore since he was the official diplomat between Queen Nerezza and the Elder Council. Lorcan was their link with General Drystan, and Sam was Jarisa’s, the King’s Consort’s, closest friend. A few other quietus had joined us here in Foxglove, but they were the least experienced warriors they had. From what Sam told me, her king and queen were still wary of working closely with the wolves. Y/N fleeing only added to their suspicion. If she were able to come back with Naida or Khione with her, the rest of the quietus would come as well.

Where Naida went, it was far more likely for the fire dragons to come as well, though no one seemed particularly confident that would be the case. Fire elementals enjoyed keeping to themselves.

“What’s the tea?” I asked, my tone lighter.

“Turns out Ji-Hyun was the one who tipped Sol off about Bridd,” she said in a low, conspiratorial voice. “Taehyung only confirmed it when she backed him into a corner. She didn’t really believe him until then, but whatever he told her is what she must have told Jimin. I’ve met with Taehyung a few times and he seems too sweet to make up lies.”

“Why would he do that?” I muttered, not really expecting an answer that would make any of this better. “I’ve never understood his disdain for Y/N. No one she’s ever met has disliked her so quickly, and even if they did, they’d get over it once they talked to her. She’s quite likable once you get past the quick temper and awkwardness.”

Sam leaned in closer, her breath warm against the cool air. “Lorcan overheard Ji-Hyun arguing with his wife,” she whispered. “Ji-Hyun’s best friend died in the siege, and he blames your little bird for not warning them. He just assumed the worst from the beginning, and he’s too stubborn to squash the beef. He’s angry, Yoongi, and telling Sol was his way of lashing out.”

I clenched my jaw, feeling bitterness rise. Ji-Hyun’s grudge was like poison, and his need for revenge was threatening to tear apart everything we’d fought so hard to hold together. “Great,” I muttered sarcastically. “Just what we need. Another reason for everyone to turn on each other.”

Sam sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Exactly. Everyone’s already on edge, and Lorcan thinks Jimin doesn’t know yet. He’s been around his brother too often for him to think he went behind his back in that way.”

I stared out at the river, watching the water flow. I could picture Jimin’s face once he learned the whole truth of things—the anger that would rise up in him, fierce and unchecked. “If Jimin finds out,” I whispered, the weight of it settling on my chest, “it wouldn’t surprise me if he killed Ji-Hyun. And that would be the end of whatever stability we have left.”

“That’s why we can’t let it get to that point,” Sam said, her voice sharper now. “We have to handle this carefully. One wrong move, and everything could fall apart.”

I let out a long breath. “But what can we really do, Sam? The Parks aren’t exactly known for subtlety, and Ji-Hyun just has to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and he’ll have to deal with Jimin and whoever else feels some type of way about Y/N leaving.”

“Maybe,” she admitted, her tone softening. “But we can watch, we can listen, and we can wait. If the opportunity presents itself, we’ll talk to him. Unfortunately, this is the smallest little village I’ve ever been to, and I doubt anyone can keep their mouths shut for that long. Wouldn’t surprise me if he already knew and was just saving face.”

I turned toward her. “It would explain why he’s staying away from his mom’s house.”

She nudged my shoulder, a smile clear in her voice. “Look at you being smart.”

A real smile crept onto my face. “No one’s ever liked me for my rugged good looks.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing you have both, Mr. Min.”

After a beat, I snapped out of the lovestruck, dumb, idiot stare I was in. Was I in love with Sam? No, Yoongi, you’re just infatuated with a girl who’s being nice to you. Not rocket science.

“So he’s punishing Y/N for something she couldn’t control?” I shook my head. “If you haven’t noticed, my jaw is still firmly in place.”

Sam nodded, her expression hardening. “Yeah, but he’s misjudged how this will play out. Callisto isn’t taking it lightly either. If she finds out about Ji-Hyun’s involvement, things could get… ugly.”

That made me laugh. “If there’s anything that girl can do, it’s shit-talk with the best of them. I miss having her at the house.”

“One of the more entertaining people I’ve met here,” Sam agreed. “The other morning she called Namjoon an ‘absolute walnut.’ And then when Ji-Hyun laughed, she made the funniest faux-surprised face I have ever seen and shouted, ‘Oh my God! It Speaks!’ Lorcan and I were cracking up.”

“Damn spitfire,” I chuckled.

“You’d think she was a dragon the way she talks to these wolves.”

“Brave little human.”

“Brave, indeed.”

The evening deepened, stars twinkling brightly above us. It was quieter than usual. The crickets were a small hum in the background, and the frogs were giving us some space. The birds were in the trees, sitting silently and watching. I wondered if Jin and his family had spoken with them. We’d know when something was nearby that way. It would be smart strategizing. I’d talk to my mother about that and see what she knew.

Maybe I could go with Thelma and see what I could do to help. Being Sol’s babysitter popped up in my head, but it didn’t feel like it would be much help. I glanced at Sam and felt my heart melting.

She really was the most important thing in my life right now.

“Thanks, Sam,” I murmured, my voice catching as I looked away. It didn’t feel like enough, but I meant it. “For sticking with me through all of this.”

She gave the back of my head a gentle peck. “No need to thank me, baby,” she said, her voice as steady as ever. “We’re in this together. Besides,” she added, a little smile creeping into her tone, “you’re the only thing that makes me want to come back to this shitty little village anymore. Honestly, I would have only come to see Joon and leave. Leave Cadoc to do all of the bureaucratic bullshit.”

A laugh escaped me, breaking through the quiet. “So we balance each other out, huh? Fire and ice?”

“Fire and ice,” she echoed, her eyes gleaming with that familiar spark of mischief. “But honestly, I think you’re more earth, and I’m made from… you know, air.”

“Smart ass.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

And I did.

I stared into my drink, the amber liquid swirling in slow circles, like it was trying to keep up with the chaos in my mind. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still there, still in that battle, still surrounded by everyone I loved. But it wasn’t real, it never had been. It was just a nightmare.

In my dream, I was the last one standing. Everyone else had fallen—one by one—until it was just me, surrounded by their bodies, faces twisted in pain, fading into the smoke and ash. I’d thought I could protect them, thought I could stop the inevitable. But then the elves charged, all of them, eyes cold and faces unforgiving. I fought, I fought until my muscles gave out, but it was no use. Alone, I couldn’t stop them. And I couldn’t save the people who mattered most.

I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to remember how I felt, standing there with my sword in my hand, a useless piece of steel against the weight of the world. But it kept creeping back into my mind, dragging me back into the nightmare, every little detail too vivid, too real. I didn’t know how long I’d been walking, but somehow, my feet had carried me to the tavern in the middle of the night. The place was dark, almost empty, just the kind of place I could lose myself in.

I ordered a drink. And then another. And another. The whiskey burned going down, but it didn’t burn enough to erase the feeling of emptiness in my chest. The same emptiness that had been there in the dream, the same cold weight of knowing I was the only one left.

The tavern was its usual self—a loud, dim blur of voices and clinking glasses, the smell of stale beer hanging in the air. But none of it mattered. I could barely hear it over the pounding in my head. The world outside seemed far away, like I was in a different place entirely, a place where none of it had ever happened, where I hadn’t failed them all.

I watched the glass in my hand, the whiskey still swirling in lazy circles. No matter how much I drank, it wouldn’t stop the dream from coming back. It wouldn’t bring them back. It wouldn’t fix what was broken inside me.

Then the door swung open, and a familiar laugh sliced through the noise, grating and sharp. I glanced up to see Ji-Hyun stepping into the dim light, his mouth twisted into that smug, careless grin he always wore. He spotted me right away, and instead of looking the other way, like any decent person would, he headed straight for me. My chest tightened, and I could already feel my hand curling into a fist around my glass.

“Well, well, look who’s here,” he said, sliding onto the stool beside me without an invitation. “Didn’t expect to find you out, Yoongi.”

I forced the anger down, keeping my eyes on my drink. “I don’t expect to find you anywhere.”

Ji-Hyun laughed. “Cali keeps me on a tight leash, I’ll admit it. Got lucky tonight, though. She’s helping her momma knit some new clothes for the copiae, and I was able to sneak out.”

“Poor me.”

“I’m not that bad, hyung.”

The honorific was a surprise to me. As long as I had known the kid, he had been a walking dichotomy. Arrogant and condescending, but respectful and always keeping his manners. Still, he had never been quite as kind to the witches. I think our loyalty to Y/N didn’t make his life much easier, especially when his camp of dissenters quickly grew scarce and then disappeared altogether. He was the only person in town besides Bo who didn’t like Y/N, and even he sometimes was quick to criticize Bo’s more “ridiculous” reasoning for being so anti-Y/N.

Jealousy over someone else was petty. The death of a friend and three dozen village members was more than enough for Ji-Hyun’s open disgust at people like us who still loved her.

He was a very black-and-white thinker, and yet there was some space for nuance.

For example, he had never called me “Hyung” before, despite the fact that I’m three years older than him.

“No,” I took a sip of my drink. “You’re pretty fucking terrible.”

That only made him laugh harder. Had to admit, he looked a lot like his older brother when he did that.

“Only because you’re blinded by loyalty and I’m not,” he flagged down the bartender. “Not to Y/N at least. I am to my people, and I have a different opinion than everyone else.”

“Because you’re wrong.”

“No,” he stopped talking and gave Yala his order before turning back to me. “Think about it from my perspective. She saw the future, knew something bad was going to happen, and didn’t tell anyone but her loyalists. One of them being you. Don’t you see how that could piss off a guy?”

I had tried having this conversation with him before, but it had never gone this well. It was weird to think I’d thought this was going to be a fight. Maybe he was more like Jimin than I gave him credit for.

“She didn’t see the future,” I sighed, finishing off my glass. “Y/N can’t see the future. She was getting possessed by spirits who weren’t able to show her very much. It was vague, and she only told me because Thelma—the woman raising the real future-seer—came by and said something bad was coming. We should all be mad at Thelma if we’re using your metrics.”

“But she owed my brother that loyalty and respect, and she didn’t give it to him.”

Oh, that was fucking rich.

“You are such a fucking hypocrite,” I muttered, my voice low. I hoped he’d take the hint and leave, but he just laughed. “You don’t get to say shit like that and expect me to take you seriously.”

“Oh, I don’t?” He leaned in closer, his breath reeking of arrogance. “Last time I checked, I was free to say whatever I wanted. She wasn’t exactly the saint you all like to pretend she was.”

That was it. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I straightened up, turning to face him, letting all the anger I’d been holding back show. “You’re one to talk. You want to talk about loyalty and respect to your brother? It’s your fault this entire shitshow went to hell in the first place.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning back, completely unfazed. “Oh, please, don’t put that on me. What did I do, exactly?”

I clenched my jaw, struggling to keep calm. “You told Sol about Y/N’s plan after you snuck around like the dirty rat you are. You went behind your brother’s back and fed lies to the most immature and naive person in this entire village to lie about his fiancé. It’s your fault the story was twisted, your fault she ran to your brother, and you sat back like a coward and let it happen. If you were so fucking loyal to your brother, you would have understood that he loved that girl and you would have been there with him.”

Ji-Hyun snorted, a bitter laugh escaping him. “Oh, so now I’m responsible for her choices? Bridd wanted to play hero. She got what she deserved.”

“What about when everyone said that about Callisto?” Ji-Hyun looked surprised. “Yeah, I heard all about your girl getting beat up by a few of the wolves in town after you mated with her. And you know who helped you out? Jimin. You are no better than a bully, and you ganged up on a girl who gave up her entire life and future to help your people, and then because you’re so fucking entitled, and it wasn’t good enough for you, you decided to ruin your brother’s life just to get back at her? You think we didn’t lose people? Cordelia was like a second mother to Y/N when she was younger, and she had to find her dead body. She saved Hoseok’s life!”

“And none of that would have happened if she had said something.”

And then I snapped.

My fist connected with his jaw, and for a split second, everything felt right again. Like I was myself. Ji-Hyun stumbled back, eyes wide with surprise, but it didn't last. His face twisted with anger, and before I knew it, he grabbed my collar, his grip like iron. Then his fist met my cheek, and the world tilted. Pain exploded, but weirdly, it felt good to feel something.

The tavern erupted around us—shouts, scraping chairs, breaking glass—but it all faded into the background. All I could see was Ji-Hyun, and the anger that mirrored my own. The satisfaction of hitting him still buzzed under my skin. I wanted to swing again, to make him hurt like I was hurting.

Then someone yanked me back. Strong hands pulled me away, and I spun around, fists still clenched. It was Jimin. His eyes were hard, jaw set in that way that meant he was beyond mad. "That's enough," he said, his voice cutting through the noise. It wasn't loud, but it didn't need to be.

He held my gaze, and I felt something inside me crumble. Disappointment. That's what I saw in his eyes, and it stung more than Ji-Hyun's punch.

Ji-Hyun wiped blood from his lip, smirking. "Keep your little witch on a leash," he spat before turning and storming out. His words hung in the air, heavy and poisonous.

Jimin's grip on my arm loosened but didn't let go. "What are you doing?" he asked quietly. I didn't have an answer. Couldn't find words that made any sense.

I pulled away, my cheek throbbing, and headed back to the bar. The room spun a little, or maybe that was just me. I sank onto the stool, ignoring the bartender's wary glance. My drink was still there, so I took a long sip, letting the burn distract me.

The whispers started then. People pretending not to stare while definitely staring. Great. Just what I needed.

Ji-Hyun's words replayed in my head. He'd called me pathetic. Said she didn't care about me. No matter how much I tried to drown it out, it clung to me like smoke.

Bridd would've smacked me upside the head for that stunt. Told me to stop acting like an idiot. She always knew how to pull me back when I was spiraling. But she wasn't here.

I felt the weight of Jimin's gaze before I saw him. He stood a few feet away, hands shoved in his pockets, expression unreadable. Part of me wanted him to say something—to yell at me, to tell me I'd screwed up. But he just sighed and walked away, leaving me with my tangled thoughts.

I stared into my glass, the amber liquid swirling like a tiny storm. Maybe Ji-Hyun was right. Maybe I was pathetic. A witch without magic is just... nothing.

The noise of the tavern pressed in—laughter, clinking glasses, snippets of conversations. It was too much. I needed air.

I slipped off the stool, the floor tilting a bit under my feet. Ignoring the curious looks, I headed for the door and stepped out into the night.

The cool air hit me, and I sucked in a deep breath. The sky stretched out above, stars scattered like thrown confetti. I walked until the sounds from the tavern faded, finding a quiet spot near an old oak tree.

I sat down on the grass, leaning back against the rough bark. The ground was damp and cool, seeping through my clothes, but I didn't care. Tilting my head back, I gazed up at the stars. They were blurry around the edges, but constant. Unchanging.

I closed my eyes, the fatigue washing over me like a wave. The fight, the anger, the emptiness—it all felt distant now. Out here, under the vast sky, I could almost pretend that things were okay.

Sleep tugged at me, and for once, I didn't fight it. I let the darkness wrap around me, pulling me under. Just for a little while, I could escape.

Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin @yamekomz @chimthicc @michiiedreamer @amorieus @mima795 @yunki-yunki-yunki

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year ago

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Pretty like the sun

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n This is pretty like the wind series spin offs. This can be read as standalone all you need to know is that Azriel has two adoptive kids with OC - Zofie and Axel. Future stories related to them might include stories specifically decided to Azriel hence why I am taging it as Azriel story too. Don't come at me please. ✨

warning: blood, fighting, injuries, drinking.

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Nyx’s pov:

"Again", his voice sounded unfamiliar to him. He had flinched at it after the concept of time had started slipping. For a split moment, Nyx thought that it was his high lord who had spoken. That had caused him a solid punch to the jaw. The boy in front of him looked Nyx over worriedly, as his stance shifted. “You’re in or you're out? I won’t wait forever”, Nyx snarled, leaping forward. Once again, he didn’t remember when they had abandoned their swords. But he preferred it like that. Close and personal. Physical.

Another blow landed against his nose, and Nyx's head flew back. He was well aware that on his good days, the poor chap wouldn’t have landed any of the punches at all. He got close only because Nyx let him. "Enough," an annoyed voice sounded from behind him. A welcome destination for the boy in front of Nyx. It was good enough for princes’s cracked knuckles to meet the target. “Flying fuck," a rough palm gripped Nyx’s shoulder, “You are the most stupid...", a growl. Nyx tried to open his left eye, one that was now too puffed up and throbbed like a bitch. “I suggest you bugger off before I make sure that you’re eating dirt for the rest of the week," Axel’s deep growl echoed, making Nyx chuckle lightly. “Man, he asked for it", the guy lifted his palms in defiance. “And if he told you to jump from the cliff, would you do it?", the boy shrugged, only making Axel let out yet another frustrated sigh, and the other Illyrian took it as his chance to leave.

“You will make a wonderful advisor in the future," Nyx skittered. “I think I will have your ass six feet under before that could even happen," Axel grumbled, pulling at his friend’s arms and trying to help him up. “I left you for a fucking hour, Nyx," he huffed, draping Nyx’s arm over his shoulders. "Yeah, I missed you. I had to settle for a fight with an idiot”. Nyx huffed. “Do I need to remind you that you have an important high-lord party to attend soon?"—that was one of the reads Nyx had let his rails loose. He hoped that if he misbehaved badly enough and looked like a walking corpse when the day chimed, he could wiggle his ass out of it. The thought alone made him want to bend over and vomit. He wasn’t built to be a prince. He didn’t want it. It wasn’t him. Wasn’t the life he envisioned for himself.

“You’ve been acting like an absolute fool ever since we came back from Velaris; what has gotten into you?", Axel kicked the door to their cabin before guiding Nyx toward his bed. Your sister happened to me, he thought, but bit his tongue. “I just wanted to fight," Nyx growled instead. Only now did he feel how badly his body hurt. That fucker had landed more blows than Nyx had initially counted. “I know you, and this ain’t you. You can talk to me. We always talk about it”, Axel shoved Nyx’s hand away from his face before dragging a warm cloth over the swollen eye. And what would he tell him? I can't get your fucking sister out of my head. Do you know why we cannot see each other for a bit? Why is she even pulling away? Nyx grunted, pulling the cloth out of Axel’s hands.

“Why don’t you start by telling me who you’ve been running around with instead?”. It was low. Axel had a right to have a life outside of being Nyx’s right-hand man. And his love life didn’t need to be accounted for. But Nyx was so angry. Angry at everything and everyone. People constantly kept him in the dark. And then threw a bucket of news in his face while expecting him to receive it with open hands. “I ain’t running around with anybody," Axel shook his head, throwing a jar of salve Nyx’s way. But the scowl on the young prince’s face only deepened, “So, Piper doesn’t ring a bell?”. And bingo. Axel’s whole body got ridged. Did Nyx have no right to go and dig into the new arrival papers? Probably. But here they were. “Keep her name out of your fucking mouth," Axel pointed a warning finger at him, clearly not finding this one bit amusing. “And you stand here giving me lectures about sharing things," Nyx chuckled, “So why aren’t you talking, friend?" Axel shook his head, “Clean yourself up and sober up while you’re at it." He moved towards the door, and something in Nyx shifted. Axel never left. Not even when Nyx was in his shittest of moods. He had always been the only one to not leave him. Sit through his temper tantrums. "Axel," Nyx breathed, panic rising in his chest. He didn’t want to be alone right now. His head was too busy. He was too full of things he didn’t want to think of. “I’m only going to grab you some fresh water; lay down you twat," Axel grumbled back, easing the rising tide within Nyx. He nodded simply, slumping back on the mattress. His hand instantly moved beneath his pillow, where he always kept a stitched napkin that Zofie had given him. The crooked moon and stars greeted him like they always did. The stick figures holding hands. The flowers. Even the wonky sun on the far left side was perfect. Always perfect. “I’m thinking about you," Nyx muttered, brushing his fingers over the stick figure that was supposed to represent Zofie, “It’s one never-ending night over here without you, Sunny."

Zofie’s pov:

It’s only been a week, but it felt like forever. She never usually felt so desperate when they left. At least not after the first week. But she had grown restless. The cry that left Nyx’s lips as he shot up to the sky was still ringing loud and clear. Zofie heard it even through her hammering heartbeat. With her back pressed against the door, as she covered her mouth. And now it felt as if she hadn’t seen Nyx in a lifetime. It clawed at her. She knew that Axel would look after him, but... What if something happened, and that’s how they would have separated?

Zofie didn’t know what she was feeling. It all seemed too mushy and jumbled up. Now, instead of seeing a different aura around people, she simply saw black. It was impossible to distinguish between different feelings.

“Zo, do you want more pancakes?", her father’s voice made her almost drop her fork as she nodded. Azriel gave her a concerned look before plopping one of his signature breakfast goods onto her plate. “You excited to see the girls?", he asked, throwing a glance your way, only earning a slight shrug in return. “Yeah, am… It will be nice”, even if she didn’t want to see anyone. Well, maybe Piper. Axel had said that she was one of the nice girls. One Zofie could get to know if only she chose to.

“Ah, yes. You’ll be able to show them around; you can even go down to the market in the city," you chimed in, “and buy something nice or show them the good spots." But Zofie didn’t want to do that. Most spots had been hers and Nyx’s. They felt too personal to just be handed out. The same pinch in her chest made the hallow darkness spread even more. Her brows knitted as she pushed the plate further away from her. “You didn’t like it?", Azriel stopped mid-bite, almost making Zofie feel guilty. Almost. “Just not hungry," she shrugged, getting up from the table. She caught a glimpse of worry in her father’s eyes as she moved towards the stairs. The way you had reached out to squeeze his hand. And while Zofie didn’t want to keep you two in the dark, she didn’t know how to explain the emptiness inside her.

Just the fresh air and change of scenery didn’t help. It was nice to see her aunts and introduce herself to Piper, but socializing was never her thing. Nyx did most of the talking when they were out in public. He was born for that. It baffled her how quickly he managed to come up with a snarky remark as if he stored them all within his brain with special labels for just the right moment. Zofie tried to suffocate thoughts of him. Tried. But failed miserably. Everything she did or thought of was always in one way or another related to him. The thing was that she didn’t want to leave him like that. She didn't want to make him upset, but she also didn’t know how to make everyone happy. So, until she could come up with a solution, it would have to be like that.

“In my opinion, he is so much more attractive," one of the girls giggled into her palms. Attractive? How long has Zofie been out of this conversation? They were talking about the market day the last time she listened. “Well, Piper is the one who got to talk to him," the brow haired girl nudged the poor Piper, who had practically curled into herself by now, “Is he really hot up close?”.

Zofie shook her head. “Who’s hot?", she cut in, making all four sets of eyes dart up to her. And now she realized why she hated speaking in the first place. “Piper here had the prince’s second man carry her boxes”, Lina’s blond curls bobbed as she turned. But that was Axel? Why was Axel even here in the first place? He told her they could... Of course, he had met her. “Well, that’s my brother, so can we not talk weirdly about him?", Zofie scrunched up her nose, making the other two girls roll their eyes. But at least Piper’s shoulders sagged in relief. "Bore," the copycat next to Lina chirped. Zofie just couldn’t remember her name.

“We sure can talk about the prince himself," Lina smirked, and something snapped deep within Zofie, “There’s nothing to talk about." Suddenly, the prospect of having girls her age seemed like the worst idea ever. “As if... I’m determined to meet him," Lina said. The green mist rose in Zofie’s vision. “Gonna swoon him off his feet; heard he’s a proper flirt two," she elbowed her double ganger as they both chuckled.

“He will not fall for your shit," Zofie bit back, not even realizing that her hands were now firmly clenched by angry fists. “And how would you know that?", Lina fluffed her lashes. How did she know? She didn’t. Lina was pretty; you couldn’t take that from her. From the hair to her lean body. She was the embodiment of how any girl wanted to look. While Zofie… “He is my friend," she muttered, biting out the nagging thoughts. Lina chuckled, “Yeah, a friend. So, clearly, if you’re not girlfriend material, I will be."

It felt as if a bomb had exploded all around her. Vision glazing over. She saw nothing. Only Lina. She heard no one. Only Lina. And surprisingly, the girl wasn’t smiling. She looked petrified. Grasping at her throat. It felt static. As if the time had come to a halt. And then someone yanked her back. Pulling Zofie away from the neatly placed picnic blanket.

"Zofie", it sounded muffled, but her eyes did follow the sound. Only to be met with Feyre’s concerned ones. She blinked a couple of times. The fuzzy feeling cleared out. “She’s insane," a shriek sounded from behind her, making Zofie twist back. “You are dangerous, you stupid..." it was Lina, her cheeks still red, eyes wide. “Don’t finish that sentence," Cassian was gripping her shoulder, but he didn’t look too concerned with the girl. His eyes were on Zofie.

Zofie blinks a couple of times, black spots dancing in the corners of her vision. What had she done? Was it even her? Why did she... “Why don’t we go drink some tea, dear?", Feyre wrapped a hand around her shoulders. "I...", Zofie barely muttered before Feyre cut in, “Some tea with lots of honey, yes, yes." A part of Zofie wanted to run. Like she always did. Run away and hide. But Feyre pushed some of hair behind her ear, “We’ll have a nice conversation you and I”, she muttered almost ti herself, “Bake cookies even. Cookies always help”.

Nyx’s pov:

“Give me that," Axel said, snatching the glass out of Nyx’s hand, “You’ve been here for an hour." An hour too long. The hustle of the people was making Nyx sick. It was bad enough that he had to stand for the majority of that hour next to his parents, smiling as if he was thrilled to be there while he was slowly dying inside. Nyx kept dead-eye contact with Axel through it all, even if there was a sea of females who were trying to catch his eyes.

“I still think that you should cover for me so I can sneak out," Nyx grumbled. He had made at least five escape plans; he even planned to fake an allergic reaction, but Axel hadn’t been as thrilled about that. “Midnight. We had a deal”, Axel muttered, scanning the crowd. He was Nyx’s hawk, noting slipped past Axel. And as much as Nyx hated to admit it, Azriel was the one who had taught him all of it. “But you’ll dance with half of the girls in that line," Nyx nodded towards the girls who hadn’t stopped staring at him ever since the night began. “They ain’t her for me, kitten," Axel mused, making Nyx roll his eyes. “I’ll put a good word out for you," the prince said with a tap on his friend’s shoulder.

“Is your family coming?", Nyx scanned the crowd for familiar face. Well, correction. Is Zofie coming? He had tried to sneak back to Velaris before all this. He had to because his brain was going into overdrive. It had been eleven days, eighteen hours, forty-seven minutes, and 45... 46 seconds till he had laid eyes on her. And by now, he was more than okay with just catching a glimpse. He could do with that. He would settle for that. “Papa should," Axel said calmly, “Ma’ wasn’t feeling too well, so she’s back at the cottage." Translation: Zofie didn’t want to go, so Y/N stayed back with her. Nyx clenched his jaw. “Everyone’s healthy and well?", he was fishing for straws here, and he knew it. “Yeah, it’s all well; little one is growing too fast, though. Could have sworn she fit in my palm before we left," Axel muttered, and a part of Nyx was glad that he hadn’t caught onto his real intentions.

“Here you are”, a strong palm landed on Nyx’s shoulder, making the boy look to the side. His smug father stood there, way too happy with himself. “High Lord," Axel said, lowering his head in greeting, even though Nyx had specifically told him to not kiss his father with flatly. “You two are hiding in the back as if this is a funeral," Rhys shook his head with a smile, “Come up to the front tables; quite a couple of people are looking for you." Nyx’s eye twitched. If only he could scream now. He was convinced all the windows would shatter. He wanted out. Why was no one catching onto the fact that he was suffocating? He didn’t want to be a part of his father’s plans. He didn’t want to be a perfect son. A one-day-crowned prince.

Nyx was sure that Rhys could see the malice burning through his eyes, considering that his face went dead serious. Nyx knew that his father would stomp his foot, and he would have to do it. Or that pleading look on his mother’s face would claw at his heart till he gave in. He felt Axel’s hand on his shoulder blade. He was spiraling then. His magic was flaring up and Axel was warning him like he always did. Nyx was about to open his mouth when his eye caught movement behind his father. His eyes narrowed. Vision sharpening, and then it all died down.

The ringing in his ears faded. The choking feeling subsided. “Nyx, I am talking to you," Rhys said, gripping his upper hand, but Nyx shook it off as he stepped forward. Smile tugging at his lips. She was a vision. There might have been hundreds of females here tonight. Wrapped in the most expensive silks and velvet. But he hadn’t given them a second glance. And now she stood there at the top of the staircase. Looking over the hall. Nyx only hoped that she was looking for him.

And then her gaze found his. As if he had brought it right back to him. As if in a sea of bodies, she knew where he would be. And then she smiled. And Nyx was convinced that someone had spiked the wine because she shouldn’t be smiling. He moved faster, his hands gripping the railing as he jogged up the stairs. He missed every other step as he went. Was it appropriate? No. Was he making a spectacle considering that they were right above everyone and had nowhere to blend in? Yes. But did he care? No. Because even with twenty stairs separating them, she was too far away, and at the same time, she was in front of him way too quickly, leaving him no time to pick through his thoughts.

“You came?", Nyx breathed heavily. Zofie crossed her arms over her chest, looking him up and down. "I had a feeling you were struggling to get through this," she said casually, “Axel said that your sassiness has been off lately." Nyx wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry at this point as he stepped closer to her, shielding her tiny frame from any curious glances. "Sunny," he muttered, ready to watch her fade away the same way she always did in his dreams.

“Your hands are trembling," she breathed, reaching out for his palms, “Why are your hands trembling?" Her worried eyes looked up at him, and he was ready to sink to his knees in front of her. “I… I am nervous”, he muttered like a teenager, looking at his first-ever crush. “You never get nervous around me," Zofie frowned, shaking her head. And then there was one heartbeat. One. Nyx’s left hand reached behind her as he pulled her into his chest, wrapping her up in his embrace.

He was shivering all over. But all the systems in his body that had been flashing red for days now were finally running smoothly. It felt as if he could finally breathe. That lavender sugar scent that she carried drowned him in her. “We need to get out of here," Nyx breathed again, her hair neatly braided with daisies. “I didn’t spend an hour lacing this for nothing," Zofie muttered, pulling back from his embrace. Both of their eyes fall onto the deep purple and black bodice. A vision. Nyx reached for her hand. “I’ll appreciate the hell out of it for you, Zof; I will," he muttered, dragging her towards the double-sided door. He heard gasps as he moved. Pretty sure he even heard his name being called. Pret sure he heard footsteps. But the moment he was out in the cold night air, he wrapped his arms around Zofie once more. Bringing her as close as he possibly could before shooting up at the sky and winnowing halfway through the plush clouds. Now that he had gotten his sun back, not even the devil himself was strong enough to take her away.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @sirenpearldust @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @naturakaashi i @stressed-reader @woodland-mist @goldenmagnolias @nocasdatsgay @lees-chaotic-brain

#nyx x oc #nyx imagine #nyx x reader #nyx acotar #nyx archeron #nyx acotar x reader #nyx acotar imagine #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar x oc #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #azriel imagine #azriel acotar x reader

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snoopyearss · 5 months ago

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Here. Eren Yeager x F. Reader

content warning: suggestive!

Summary: Y/n isn't a party person. That’s not her scene. All she wants to do is stay in her dormroom and listen to slowed and reverbed songs and watch gaming videos on youtube. When her extroverted friends convince her to go to a house party, she’s forced to talk to people she normally doesn't talk to. When she goes to the car for some peace and quiet, someone, one of the most popular playboys at the university by the name of Eren Yeager, decides to keep her company. What could go wrong?

We're bringing back the 2020-2021 anime fanfictions vibes with this one. Alll the stereotypes of a college au fic is in this so spare me the bitching and complaining and just enjoyyyyy

Chapter 1: To Marley's

Your POV

I unlocked the door to my shared dorm with my roommates Hitch and Sasha. The three of us are inseparable, but if there’s a party happening at that very moment, they won’t hesitate to leave me.

No hard feelings though. I don’t like parties. Lame I know, but I can’t stand the idea of everyone in a small room, sweaty, and grinding on each other. Blech. But I digress. I walked into the kitchen and greeted Sasha, who was munching on some chips.

“You’re getting crumbs all over the floor. You know this university housing has a mouse problem.” I groaned. “Yeah, yeah I’ll clean it up. Later. How was class?”

“Fucking long. Nothing new. Professor Hange was talking for HOURS. I love her but geez the lady has energy.” Sasha laughed. “Keeps me awake though. Good thing it’s Friday. You get a break and maaybee, come party with us?” She slipped in.

“You’re not gonna get me to go to a party with you Sash. It’s not happening. I don’t do that.” I opened the cupboard to grab the last pack of pop tarts.

“Ugh come onnn!” She pleaded. “You’re always in that damn room. That’s all you do. For once, come out and have some fun! When's the last time you had se-”

“We aren’t doing this right now. Plus I got homework.” I broke a piece of the cookies and cream pop tart and put it in my mouth. “And that shit won’t be due until next Tuesday. What do you even plan to do anyways?” Sasha cleaned up the crumbs from the kitchen table.

“Well I’m gonna-”

“Wait, don't tell me. You're gonna put your LED lights on, listen to the same 5 slowed songs and watch gaming videos. I’m right, aren't I?” Sasha interrupted. “Well, I found one more song so make that 6. So you're wrong.” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Hopeless. But I guess that makes you happy. Talk later?” She said while getting out of her seat. I nodded “I’ll get Hitch to persuade you.” She whispered as she walked to her room and closed the door.

“And you still didn’t clean these crumbs off the floor! I don’t want mice!” I yelled then got up to do it since I knew she wasn’t going to do it herself.

₊˚✩彡.

Pussy Poppers

Sasha

You guys wanna go to

That new restaurant that

Opened down the street

From the campus for dinner?

Hitch

ooohhhh

yes. i heard their burgers

were really good!

Y/N Loved “You guys wanna go to that new restaurant that opened down the street from the campus for dinner?”

Y/N

Yeah, let's go!

Sasha

Yaaaayy!

:))))

I locked my phone and put it on the charger and got ready. I put on some music and opened my closet. “I have all these pieces, but not an actual outfit.” I said to myself. Remind me to go shopping. After sometime I managed to get an outfit together then went to do my hair and makeup. I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

“Hey Y/n you got a- here you go with the same slowed and reverbed songs on repeat.” Hitch teased me. “You hating and for what ma’am?” I rolled my eyes.

“Anyways you got a tampon? I ran out.”

“Yeah, in the small drawer next to my desk.” She thanked me and walked out. As soon as I finished, I put on some shoes and walked out of my bedroom to see Sasha munching on the same chips.

“We’re going out to eat, why are you eating now?” Hitch questioned her. “Because I’m hungry? What the fuck?” Hitch snatched the bag from her hands.

“Let's go. And when we get back, clean up this mess please Sasha I’m begging. I don’t want Remy and his friends trying to steal ingredients from our kitchen.” Sasha laughed at Hitch’s joke and got up to put her shoes on.

“They're probably gonna show up as soon as we close this door.” I added and the two laughed. I let the both of them leave before me, as I closed the door and locked it.

We all got into Sasha’s car as we drove to the restaurant. “What’s this restaurant called by the way?” I asked. “I think it’s called Marley’s or something I’m not sure.” Hitch answered and I nodded.

“Y/n, you want aux?” Sasha turned off the bluetooth on her phone so I could connect.

“You're not scared I’ll put on the same slowed songs like I do in my dorm?” I said and they laughed. “Nah. You got good taste.” I went on spotify and put on a song from my playlist.

(Play Borderline by Tame Impala)

“Ooh! I love this song! Sash, turn it up!” Hitch squealed. Sasha indeed turned it up, and rolled the windows down.

It was a cool summer’s night. The wind blew through my hair and on my skin causing little goosebumps. I looked out the window. I watched as the sun went down behind the buildings and tall trees, as the sky became a soft blue and pink cotton candy color. I looked at the mirror on the side of the car, watching Hitch dance in her seat with her eyes closed, feeling the beat. I smiled and turned to look at the sky.

I lived for moments like these. Especially with my friends. Sasha and Hitch mean so much to me. Hitch and I were mutuals on twitter since we shared the same interests. I would like the tweets she wrote and she would retweet mine. Next thing you know we were texting in direct messages. We had facetimed on so many occasions so I knew what she looked like. We wanted to meet up in person and to our surprise, we only lived an hour away from each other. Thus, blossoming our friendship.

I met Sasha through Hitch as well. We both shared our love for food and that's how it started. I love them with all my being.

The song ended and we were coming close to the restaurant. It was PACKED. It wasn't a surprise, I mean, it just opened and it was right near our campus. Sash managed to find a parking spot and we all hopped out. “I can smell the food from here! It’s like I can almost taste it...” She drooled, Hitch shook her head at her. “Your love for food is so scary sometimes.” I joked.

We headed inside, Hitch asking for a table for three and insisting we get a booth seat or else she won't eat. I jokingly rolled my eyes. The waiter did in fact, give us a booth, and we took our seats.

Sasha looked at the menu. “This all looks so good! Ugh I can’t decide! What are you getting Y/n?” She raised her head to look at me. “Hmm. I’m not sure. Can never go wrong with wings and fries. But knowing me I might just get chicken tenders and fries.” I chuckled. “What about you Hitch?”

“Might get this flatbread pizza, the description is convincing me.” I nodded.

Our waiter showed up to take your orders. “Hello, welcome to Marley’s, I’m your waiter Marlowe, Can I get you guys started with some drinks?” We all told him. I turned next to me to see Hitch’s face bright red. Her head was down, looking at her hands placed on her lap, lips formed into a straight line.

“Uh oh. I know that look. You like him, don’t you?” Sasha teased and I laughed. “S-shut up no I don’t!” She stammered out. Causing Sasha to laugh harder. “Oh? Lie one more time.” I teased.

“He..he has a nice face. I guess” She grumbled. Causing Sasha and I to laugh again

After some time, Marlowe came back with our drinks and took our orders for our meals. Sasha of course, ordering more than one entree. One for now, and one for later.

During that time, we talked about our first week of classes and how college life was treating us, then two boys walked up to our table. “Ayo, is that Sasha and Hitch?” The taller boy said. His hair was in a mullet style, and had stubble on his chin and jawline. The other boy had a buzzcut hairstyle. His eyes were big and bold. Both of them were extremely attractive. Everyone here knew each other. Sasha told me they all grew up together. I transferred here so they were all new to me.

“Jean! Connie! Hiii! I haven’t seen you guys in foreverrr!” Sasha got up from her seat to hug them both and they hugged back. “We saw each other last week, when we went to the beach dummy.” Connie laughed. “What’s up you two?” Hitch also gave them hugs.

Well this is awkward. I’m just sitting here.

“This is our friend, Y/n. She’s new to the area.” Hitch introduced me. I gave a smile and waved.

“Woah,” Connie started. “Yeah woah. She’s bad.” Jean finished. I sheepishly smiled.

“I’m Jean, and that bald fuck over there, is Connie.” He introduced both of them, causing Connie to smack Jean’s head.

“Nice to meet you.”

“So, the school year started, meaning summer is ending. Which meansss…” Jean trailed. “End of the Summer party! At the frat house! Next Friday. Please tell me you guys are coming?” Connie finished.

“You know we’ll be there. Y/n too. Right?” Sasha eyed me. I rolled my eyes. I knew she would pull this shit.

“Nah.” I sighed.

“Aww c’mon. It’ll be fun! It’s the perfect way to start off the school year.” Connie beamed.

“How exactly? By getting drunk until you feel insanely sick, just to throw up everywhere, and feel like shit the next day? Yeah I’m good. Y’all be easy.” I ranted.

“So sitting in your bed, watching Corey Kenshin and Berleezy is your idea of a ‘good time’?” Hitch taunted you and laughed.

“Hey, they’re funny ok! And yes it IS my idea of a good time!” I scoffed.

“I mean, she does have a point. They are pretty funny.” Connie said. “See, thank you!”

“But seriously Y/n come onnn. Just come with us for a few, and if you don’t like it, we’ll go home.”

“This is mass manipulation! I feel attacked!” I joked. “Ugh, fine. Don’t make me regret this.” I sighed and gave in. They all cheered and I rolled my eyes. “Yes! Omg. You’re going to have so much fun! We gotta go shopping tomorrow.” Hitch squealed.

“It’s not until next friday? You guys have like a whole week.” Connie asked. “Stay outta women’s business.” Hitch snapped. Connie raised his hands in defense.

“No we should. I need new clothes anyways.” I shrugged and both girls jumped up in excitement.

“Ok, here are your meals. Oh! Hey Connie. Jean.” Marlowe placed the meals on the table, dapping the two boys up. “What’s up man? How’s the new job treating you?” Jean asked. “It’s great. I’m able to serve so many gorgeous girls.” he eyed Hitch, making her face turn red again. Sasha and I snickered. “Say Marlowe, you going to the End of the Summer party next Friday?” Sasha questioned.

“Yeah I’ll be there. You guys going?” We all nodded. He smiled. “Great. Then I’ll see you guys there. I’m on the clock so I’ll talk to you guys later.” We waved and he left.

“Alright, you two, leave. I’m hungry and I want to eat.” Sasha ordered the two boys.

“See you girls on Friday. Y/n, I hope to see you there.” Jean smirked. “No promises!”

They walked back to their table and we got to eating.

₊˚✩彡.

After we ate our meals and Sasha paid for the bill, we all filed in her car and went home.

I unlocked the door to our flat and kicked off my shoes. Hitch handed Sasha a broom and Sasha sweeped up the crumbs from earlier.

“I can’t believe we managed to convince Y/n to come party with us.” Hitch said in awe. “Yeah me neither.” I grumbled.

“You’ll have so much fun Y/n. I promise. This is like one of the biggest parties of the year. Jean, Connie, and Eren throw one every year. They’re legendary.” Sasha said as she sweeped.

I frowned. “Who’s Eren?”

Hitch cleaned the dishes that were in the sink. “Another one of our friends. He’s pretty chill. Just don’t piss him off. He can get kinda mean.”

“He’s also like a major playboy. Slept with almost every girl at our highschool and possibly here too.” Sasha placed the crumbs in the trash can. “He’ll see you as some kind of new prey so don’t let him get under your skin. And don’t get attached. He doesn’t do relationships.” She warned.

“Good to know. And now what does he look like so I can avoid this walking STD?” I questioned.

“Tall, long brown hair, usually had it in a man bun. Green eyes, has a brow piercing and some ear piercings as well. He also wears a key necklace.” Hitch described him.

He sounds kinda hot…

“And I know you’re thinking “He sounds kinda hot.” Don’t fall for it.” She warned once more.

“I wasn’t!” I scoffed. “Uh huh. Just be careful ok?” I nodded. Not like I was gonna make a pass at him or something. I’m not exactly boy-crazy.

“Now we got that outta the way. Wanna watch a movie?” Hitch asked.

“Sure!” Sasha and I said.

˖◛⁺⑅♡

I started writing this in 2021, after reading every eren college au I could find on wattpad.

#aot fanfiction #eren aot #aot eren #aot smut #aot x reader #eren yeager #eren x reader #college au #fanfic #snoopyearss

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stars4noah · 22 days ago

Text

HALLEY'S COMET- six.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, mention of a bar

w.c- 2,038

a.n- i'm gonna be so honest, chapter five was originally going to be the end of this series but i was driving and i had a crazy idea. enjoy more chapters because i don't think this story will be ending any time soon.

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob @dontwantthemoney @n0n3xsisting

"i'll love you forever." he said softly.

"and always?" i asked

he laughed softly, nuzzling his face in my hair.

"and always, my love."

"[y/n]. dude, come on. wake up." nicholas' voice broke through my hard slumber, jolting me awake. i furrowed my brows, sitting up slowly and looking around. i was on the tour bus. but why? i had just been on the couch with noah..

i ran a hand over my face, trying to gather my thoughts. we just finished a show. noah and i got into another argument. but this argument was different from the one in my dream. and then i left. no.. that part was a dream. i fell asleep.

it was all fake.

the music, the new album, the sex and the kisses and the 'i love you's. it was all fake. as much as i hated him, i felt a strange sense of disappointment down in my gut. it hit me like a train. this perfect life had been built up in my mind in the course of just a couple hours. was that really what i wanted? who was i kidding, of course it was. it was all i'd ever wanted in life. to be in love. to be happy. to be able to live out my dreams freely.

even though i definitely wasn't interested in the music industry.

"what, is she still sleeping?" i heard noah's voice getting closer, and i rolled my eyes as i jumped out of my bunk. "no, asshole. i'm awake."

"oh, she lives!" he said. "what were you even dreaming about? you've been tossing and turning and talking for the past 30 minutes." he said, his arms crossed.

"fuck off, noah." i grumbled, searching for some clothes for the show tonight.

"not until you learn how to do your job right."

i rolled my eyes, retreating to the bathroom to go and get ready.

"i swear, it's like he lives to piss me off. doesn't he have anything better to do? like, i dunno, hook up with girls? make music? write lyrics? instead of fucking with me. it's annoying." i rambled to nicholas as i set up my camera, him standing beside me.

and then he suggested the most absurd thing ever.

"i dunno, [y/n], maybe he likes you."

i choked on nothing, my eyes widening. "are you insane? him? like me? never in a million years would that happen."

nicholas laughed softly. "i mean, the way he talks about you when you're not around says otherwise. it's always [y/n] this, [y/n] that. don't you see the way he stares at you when you're not looking? or how he put extra effort in when he knows you're gonna be closer to the stage?"

i stayed quiet. he kind of had a point. i never heard him speak about me or felt his stares, but i could tell that he always dressed nicer or sang better when i was closer.

maybe..

no. hell no. just because i had that stupid dream doesn't mean a thing. i hate him, he hates me. and that's final.

"you're delusional." i said.

"you're in denial." he retorted, walking off to go get ready for the show.

as i continued to set up, i felt a pair of eyes on me. i looked up briefly, noticing noah looking at me before he quickly looked away, going to talk with some girl.

why was i jealous? it's not like we were together. not like i liked him. not like i imagined a future with him every time my insomnia kept me awake at night.

whatever. it didn't matter.

NOAH'S POV.

i finished up my conversation with some random girl whose name i couldn't even remember. i didn't know why, but some part of me just yearned to make [y/n] jealous. to make her wish i was giving her all of my attention instead of giving it to others. i needed her to know how i felt. how i looked at her, how i yearned for her.

what am i saying? i don't like her. at all. she's cocky and stuck up and beautiful and funny and-

fuck.

i watched as she walked around the arena, humming to herself as she adjusted the settings on her camera, not paying a lick of attention to where she was going. a couple more steps and she would-

CRASH!

"ow! fuck!"

i scoffed, walking over to where she was sat on the ground, rubbing the back of her head.

"you good there, princess? looks like you fell." i smirked.

she rolled her eyes, pulling herself up to her feet. "i'm fine."

"you sure? you took quite the fall there." i said.

she smirked. "aww, are you showing actual human empathy for once?"

i scoffed. "keep dreaming. i can't afford to lose my photographer right now. do your job." i said, walking away.

the lights dimmed as we took the stage, the crowd's energy palpable. i stepped up to the microphone, my intense gaze sweeping over the audience. among the sea of faces, my eyes locked with hers, an unfamiliar spark igniting between the two of us.

"the sutures in my head keep getting ripped out. these open wounds are the thoughts i can't stop thinking about. digging for purpose, feelings resurface. and involuntarily my system gets nervous."

there was a crowd of people in the arena. our first sold out show ever. we just released our album Finding God Before God Finds Me a couple months ago, and for our first sold out show of the tour, i decided to add a couple songs from our very first album.

"tell me tonight that you'll be by yourself. cause something bad will happen if you are with someone else. i'm just all fucked up, and i really need your help. i really need your help."

i looked at [y/n] in the front row, snapping pictures. when she was so close to the stage, i always felt like i performed better. seeing her smile at nicholas, hearing her sing along to our songs. it gave me motivation. i closed my eyes.

"there's a lotta hollow souls out there all alone, and they're waiting for you to invite 'em back into my home. they touched and they took what was rightfully mine. now i'm the devil, and their souls just went up in price."

images of her face filled my mind as i sang. her smile, her scowl, her tears and her laughter. every part of her was gorgeous. every part of her made me fall in love deeper and deeper every day. why couldn't i admit these feelings?

"set me free, i think i'm giving up. don't wait for me, i think i've had enough. set me free, i think i'm giving up. don't wait for me, i've had enough, enough now"

right. i had bailey. my girlfriend. i wondered what she was doing right now. maybe sleeping or shopping or watching tv in our bed at home. even though i had her, part of me felt off. it didn't feel like she really loved me. everyone always tried to convince me to break up with her. but she's my girl. the love of my life, the woman i wanted to marry one day. right?

as we got back onto the bus, i came to a realization.

one, i wasn't happy with bailey. she was toxic, manipulative, and i was pretty sure she was cheating on me.

two, i was utterly, hopelessly in love with [y/n].

i laid on my bunk, wide awake with my thoughts swarming in my mind. i was in love with her. i was in love with another woman. what the hell was wrong with me?

"there's a thousand voices in my head. i just hope it doesn't take a rope around my neck to put them all to rest." i hummed to myself, scrolling on my phone.

"noah?" [y/n]'s voice spoke from her bunk, her head peeking out of the curtain. "i thought you went for drinks with the others."

"nope." i said. "i'm not in the mood."

she raised an eyebrow. "that's weird. why?"

i shrugged. "i'm thinking."

"about?"

"none of your business."

she rolled her eyes, mumbling something under her breath before retreating back to her bunk.

it was quiet for another moment before i spoke.

"hey, [y/n]?" i said quietly, not wanting to disturb her in case she had fallen asleep.

"what?"

i bit my lip. "what do i do if i'm in love with someone.. but i'm in a relationship?"

she peeked her head out again, raising an eyebrow. "break up with the girl, duh. don't lead her on if you're not interested anymore. that's a dick move." she said. "wait, don't tell me you're breaking up with bailey?"

i shrugged again. "i dunno yet."

"jesus, finally." she said, and i frowned. "first of all, don't say that. second, i said i don't know yet. i'm thinking."

she sighed. "noah, you know she's a shit person. she literally abuses you. she's a toxic, manipulative asshole. and if you're in love with another woman who you know can give you the love that you deserve, shoot your shot. don't sit there and suffer just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings."

i wasn't sure why, but a small bit of rage filled my body at the way she spoke about bailey. "don't talk about her like that. that's not true. she's just doing what she knows is best for me." i said, and she scoffed.

"whatever you say."

"you're just jealous." i crossed my arms.

she raised her eyebrows. "of what? cause its definitely not her behaviour. or literally any aspect of her personality or life."

i laid back down, ignoring her for the rest of the ride. i knew she was right, but i hated to admit it. i loved bailey. she was all that i had.

when we first got together, everything was great. i swore that i would marry her one day. and then she started going out more and staying out later and sometimes i didn't feel like i could trust her. but i let it slide because bringing it up would just lead to arguments. i didn't want arguments.

but as her behaviour continued and i saw my friends in happy, loving relationships, i realized it wasn't normal. being treated like this wasn't normal, and it wasn't what i wanted. i wanted to be happy. feel loved.

i wanted to be loved by [y/n].

with a sigh and a slightly heavy heart, i texted bailey a long message.

'i want to start this off by saying i know what you did. i know what you've been doing behind my back for longer than i'd like to admit. i loved you bailey, i really did. but we can't be together anymore. i want things that you can't provide me. i know you've been cheating on me, and i let it go because we all make mistakes. but this is more than a mistake. please don't try to fight this, just accept it. you would rather sleep with multiple other men than be with me, and that's okay. i can't be what you need, and you can't be what i need. we weren't made for each other. this is goodbye.'

with tears in my eyes, i put on my headphones and put my phone on silent, blasting some music as i washed away these feelings that i didn't want to hit me at this moment. i hated being vulnerable. i'd cry it out when i was alone.

i sat in my bunk for the rest of the night, trying to fall asleep but i couldn't. instead, i drew in my notebook and wrote down the occasional lyric that popped into my mind.

'i'll flip it with you and me inside.'

'heaven know's i ain't gettin' over you.'

'thought you were somebody else.'

'no way to right these wrongs, either way i'm feeling, it might just cost something in the millions. i know that i can't resist.'

fuck. this was going to be good.

#edenspeaks #stars4noah #bad omens #noah sebastian #halley'scomet #bad omens x reader #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction

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sissylittlefeather · 10 months ago

Text

Your Love's Been a Long Time Coming: Chapter 1

A/N: Ahhhhh a new series!!! This is the one that won the poll, so I hope y'all love it! Also, I decided to play with POV on this one, so I'm telling it from Elvis's perspective. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!!

ICYMI, this is the Elvis x OC Vivian Choquette series. Want to learn more about her? Here.

PS- I love you @ccab for loving Vivian as much as I do before I even write the story!

Warnings: Not much, this is gonna start slow, but trust me, it'll heat up. Kissing, cussing, alcohol use, smoking

Word count: ~2.4k

By September of '59, Elvis was used to the army. He was used to the routine, used to the work, used to the people, used to the fans, and used to looking for a good time wherever he could find it. On this particular night, he found it at a party at his own house in Bad Nauheim. All his friends were there, along with a plethora of girls to keep everyone interested. Elvis moved through the party easily, making small talk and keeping everyone stocked on drinks, despite the fact that he didn't have any himself. Sometimes he imbibed, but usually he didn't. Although his beloved mama was gone, what he learned from her still lived in the forefront of his memory. That is, unless he found himself at the Moulin Rouge. But that was different. Here at his own house, he preferred to remain in control.

Despite having a girlfriend back at home, he moves through the house looking for a girl to talk to. That's when he notices her in a corner, her dark hair swept into a low ponytail and blue eyes glancing lazily around the room. She almost seems bored. So much so that she turns to the bookshelf that came with the house and pulls a book down. She opens it and begins to read. Elvis is intrigued by the kind of woman who reads at a party. He begins to walk over to her and realizes that the book is in French. He panics for a second and then remembers that the guys taught him a phrase in French. Surely he can figure out how to communicate with her. Besides, most of these French girls speak a little English.

He swaggers up to her, ready to try out his French. He stands there in front of her for a minute before she looks up at him.

"Bonjour."

"Mhmm." She looks down at her book, but he doesn't leave. He's suddenly nervous, but he decides to risk it. She's pretty enough that it might be worth it.

"Uhh, est-ce que tu aimes le sexe?"

She looks up at him suddenly and laughs.

"What? Did I pronounce it wrong?" She laughs even harder. When she finally catches her breath, she holds up a hand.

"First of all, I speak English. Second of all, please don't ever say that to anyone ever again."

"Oh. Why?"

"You just asked me if I like sex."

"What?! Those motherfu- I mean, those jerks. They told me it meant 'how are you'."

"And you believed them? It literally has the word 'sex' in it."

"Well, I don't know! I don't speak French!"

"Obviously." She looks back down at her book. He's not ready to give up, though.

"Hey, if you speak English, why are you reading in French?"

"My mother was French. I speak and read it because of her." She answers without looking up from the page.

"Was?"

"She's been gone for a while now. I live with my stepdad. He's an officer in the army." He feels the pain of having lost his mother too soon and looks at her with even more softness and affection than he did before.

"I'm Elvis." She looks up at him.

"I know." He nods and she notices the look he's giving her. "You know, I'm actually here with someone."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm." She points across the party to Charlie, who's making his way to her with drinks.

"Charlie?!"

"Yes."

"Well, goddamn." Charlie makes it over to them and hands her one of the drinks. He throws his arm around her casually and looks up at Elvis.

"Hey buddy. I see you met my lady."

"Well, not officially..." She holds her hand out to him.

"Vivian Choquette. Nice to meet you, Elvis Presley." He takes her hand and has the strangest urge to kiss it, but he'd never do such a thing with Charlie right there. He's been a good friend to Elvis, so no matter how much he likes her, he won't risk their friendship. Instead, he shakes her hand like he would if she was a man.

"Yeah, likewise." Elvis nods awkwardly and then turns to go back to the party. It's too bad that she's there with Charlie. He wanders around a little more, before he sees a girl that will change the trajectory of his whole life. Still, he never forgets the girl he met first.

******

The next day, Elvis sits at lunch with Charlie.

"So what did you think of my girl?" Elvis chokes a little on his food and tries to think of how he can answer without letting on that he hasn't stopped thinking about her.

"Oh, she's... she's somethin' else."

"Ain't she? I saw you talking to that cute little thing though. She seemed like somethin' else too."

"Priscilla? Oh, yeah."

"Little young, though."

"Yeah..." Elvis tries to focus on Priscilla, but all he can think about is Vivian. If she wasn't with Charlie, she'd be exactly what he's looking for. He's not sure how he knows that based on the half of a conversation they had, but something about her just draws him to her. Maybe it's the fact that she seems deeper than most of the girls he's encountered. Maybe it's because she didn't fall all over herself to talk to him. Maybe it's because she understands the pain of losing a parent. Whatever the reason, he can't stop wishing that she hadn't met Charlie first.

******

About three weeks later, Elvis is walking around town and he passes a cafe. He doesn't think much of it until he sees someone he recognizes sitting at one of the little tables. His heart jumps a bit at the thought of talking to her again. Then, he remembers Charlie with his arm around her. He decides to keep walking, but as he gets a little closer, he notices her shoulders are shaking. She's got her long, dark hair in her face, so he can't see her eyes, but it looks like she might be crying. He can't let her sit there alone if that's the case.

He cautiously approaches the table and realizes he was right. Her sniffling is quiet, but he can hear it. She's got a lit cigarette in one hand, and it looks like she's forgotten it's there. Her other hand fiddles with her coffee cup on its saucer. When he gets to her, he's not exactly sure what to do. He didn't have much of a plan beyond walking to the table. After hesitating for a second, he pulls the chair across from her out to sit in, but it makes a horrible screeching sound and she looks up startled.

"What the f-"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. It's just me."

"God, Elvis, you scared me."

"I'm sorry, honey, can I sit down?" She wipes her face and nods.

"Yeah, sure, I guess so." He sits down across from her and watches as she puts out her cigarette and continues trying to wipe her face clean.

"Are you... are you alright?"

"Ha! Yeah, I'm just fine." She pulls out another cigarette and lights it. They sit in silence for a bit while Elvis tries to think of what to say.

"You sure?" Vivian takes a puff of her cigarette and blows it straight up into the air.

"Do I look alright?" Elvis hesitates. He wants to say that she looks beautiful, but it doesn't feel appropriate.

"You seem upset."

"You're very observant." She responds spitefully. He looks down at his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry; that was rude. You're not the one that cheated on me and abandoned me."

"No... Charlie?" She takes a drag and holds her breath, nodding. Finally, she has to exhale, so she does and then starts to cry again. It's killing Elvis to sit there and watch her cry without doing something about it. He stands up and offers her his hand. "Come on."

"What? Where are we going?"

"My house is only a block from here. You can cry in private." She looks up at him and he can tell she's thinking about saying no. "I won't hurt you. Come on."

She puts her cigarette out and grabs her purse, taking the hand he offered her. They walk in silence to his house, but they continue to hold hands. When he finally gets her settled on the sofa, he sits next to her and leans back, spreading his legs wide. He's trying to indicate that she can relax and sit comfortably too. To his utter shock, she slips her shoes off and tucks her feet up under herself, also getting comfortable.

"So, he cheated on you?"

"Well, I guess that's not exactly fair."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the one he cheated with. Turns out he's been writing letters to another girl for a while."

"Ohhhh... and you found out about it." He thinks about the girl he writes letters to at home. What would she think of him here on the couch with this girl.

"Yes. I didn't want to be the other woman. Besides I thought he... well... it's stupid."

"What did you think?"

"I thought he wanted to marry me." Elvis's eyebrows shoot straight up before he can stop them. He never thought of Charlie as the marrying kind. Then again, he can understand not wanting to let Vivian go. "See, even you think I'm stupid."

"No, I don't. I think you just had hope. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There is if you're me." He sits up and looks into her eyes. The sadness rolling off of her is about to kill him.

"Why do you say that?" She looks up trying to keep herself from crying, but it doesn't work and fat teardrops slide down her cheeks.

"Everybody leaves me. My father left me. Then my mother left me. The first boy I loved. And now Charlie. Why does everyone leave? What's wrong with me?"

He scoots close to her and pulls her into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. She doesn't object. Instead she lets herself be comforted as she continues to cry. He strokes her hair and kisses the top of her head. The pain of loss is something he's all too familiar with. He takes her face in the palm of his hand and looks into her eyes.

"Viv, this is not your fault. There's nothing wrong with you. I know what it's like to lose people too soon and it hurts. But it's not because of you."

"Why does it feel like no one wants me?" This smashes his heart into a thousand pieces. He wants her so badly it hurts.

"That can't possibly be true." Just tell her. Say it. Say 'I want you.' He wills himself to tell her the truth, but he just can't.

"You're sweet, Elvis." He smiles awkwardly and tries to ignore the fact that she pats his thigh. She leans her head on his shoulder again and snuggles into the side of his body. He knows she's just seeking comfort, so he tries to stay focused on being that. But he is a young man and she is a girl with her hand on his thigh and his imagination is running wild with what would happen if he carried her to his bedroom. He swallows deeply and begs his body not to respond physically to what's in his mind.

Still, there's an electric charge in the air that she has to notice too. Almost at the same time, they pull back and look into each other's eyes. He puts his knuckle under her chin and looks down at her lips. When she closes her eyes, he knows he has the green light, so he leans in and softly presses his lips to hers. Something bubbles up inside him and his hands begin to tremble. He backs up slightly and hovers just above her lips. They both smile and he dives back in for a deeper kiss, dipping his tongue into her mouth to slide against hers. She nibbles on his bottom lip a little and he groans. His hands rest on her hips in an attempt to get them to stop shaking and he eventually lifts her into his lap to straddle him. The intensity of their kissing increases as his hands roam over her body.

Suddenly, she pulls back breathlessly.

"Wait. Elvis, do you have a girlfriend back home?" His mouth pops open. He's not sure how to answer. Yes, he has Anita at home, but for the right girl, for her, he'd end that in a heartbeat. "Answer the question."

"Well... I-I-I..."

"That's all I need to hear." She peels herself off of him and stands up, smoothing her hair.

"No, honey, wait-"

"No. You're basically doing the same thing that Charlie just did. All you G.I.s are the same."

"Hon, please-"

"My name is Vivian!"

"Viv, just, don't leave..." she tries to put her heels back on and stumbles to get the second one on. He uses both hands to steady her as she does.

"Elvis, no. Good luck with Priscilla."

"Wait-?"

"You know she's 14."

"She's 14?!"

"So, you know, have fun with that." Vivian stomps towards the door with him close on her heels. He doesn't know how to make her understand that she's all he wants. Priscilla, Anita, none of them compare to her. But he doesn't know how to say that, so instead he watches as she walks out his front door, catches a cab, and disappears from his life.

******

Or so he thinks. In 1961, Elvis is home from the army and back to his film career. In March, he leaves the continental US to get ready to film Blue Hawaii. He arrives and goes to a cast meeting on set where the director is excited to introduce his costar. His first view of her is from behind and his heart skips. Surely it can't be?

"This is Vivian Choquette. She'll be playing your girlfriend, Maile Duval." She turns to face him and smiles awkwardly. Elvis tries to hide his excitement, hoping his trembling hands won't give him away.

"Hello again..."

******

Until chapter 2. Thoughts so far?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax

#elvis presley #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis #elvis presley fic #elvis fanfiction #elvis fic #elvis presley fanfic #elvis x oc #elvis presley x oc #Elvis x Vivian choquette #Vivian Choquette #your loves been a long time coming #ylbaltc

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stormz369 · 3 months ago

Text

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 19

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings/labels: welcome to the draaamaaaa! non-consensual drugging (not reader), the vaguest hint of medical trauma, brief mention of chapter 2's assault scene

wc: 2.3k

Chapter Selection

Thirty minutes after Alfred came to pick Damian up, a mandatory city wide lockdown was called into effect. The news mentioned Mr. Freeze and some botched experiment with Poison Ivy's pheromones. I immediately tried to call Jason; he had been planning to come over around dinner, but the lines were busy. It seemed everyone was trying to contact their loved ones.

I texted Damian, asking him to let me know when he was home, and pulled out a roll of duct tape to start sealing up the cracks in my doors and windows. I set out my emergency candles and flashlights. Then I filled pots, pans, and the bathtub with clean water, just in case. And finally, I began cooking a couple steaks I had that needed to be made sooner rather than later, just in case the gas went out before I got another chance. You never knew what a villain-fueled lockdown would bring, so it was best to plan to lose all of your utilities. I vaguely regretted not getting that camping stove when it had been on sale, but I also really didn't love the idea of storing propane in my apartment.

Once my steaks were done, I checked my phone again. Damian was home safe, and told me in no uncertain terms that I was to remain safely indoors. But there was still nothing from Jason. I frowned, trying not to panic. He was probably just having trouble getting through, just like I had.

Me: Hey baby, lockdown's pretty scary, huh? Hope you're safe! ❤️

5:40pm

I settled in to watch the news, hoping the Bats would get things under control soon enough. The only footage available was from the traffic cameras, but the picture they painted wasn't particularly pretty. It seemed every vigilante was out for this one. I watched in a sort of terrified trance, remembering how tiny Robin was at the gala. But there he was, fighting Mr. Freeze. … He was strong, and a skilled fighter. But God, it just wasn't fair…

Me: Jace? You safe?

6:30pm

Eventually, the fight was over, and the reporter started talking about the plan to get the pheromones neutralized. We were instructed to stay in our homes for the time being while Gotham scientists worked out a solution. I sighed softly, honestly a bit glad for the excuse to not go in to work the next day. The boss had been getting a bit testy with me over not being available anytime, any day anymore, and I didn't want to deal with it.

Me: Hey baby, lockdown's pretty scary, huh? Hope you're safe! ❤️

5:40pm

Me: Jace? You safe?

6:30pm

Me: … Jason? If you're getting these, I'm getting really freaked out. Please tell me you're ok.

8:45pm

I frowned, texting Steph, Tim, and Dick next; ‘I can't get ahold of Jason. Have you seen him today?’ The minutes ticked by, an hour passed and no response came from anyone. I was curled up on the couch, trying desperately not to panic, when a sharp tap tap tap on my porch door startled me out of my panic spiral.

I carefully made my way over to the door, nudging open a spot in the blinds so I could peek out. There, on my porch, was Nightwing. He had some kind of breathing apparatus hooked up to his suit, and what looked like a cyberpunk face mask in his hand. When he saw me looking at him he waved excitedly, holding up the mask.

I frowned a bit; “... Um … hello?”

“Hello, citizen! … Your assistance is needed! I have a mask for you, go ahead and pop the door open for me?”

“... No?!”

“... Please?” He frowned a bit, holding out the mask more insistently.

“... What could you possibly want from me??”

He chuckled a bit awkwardly, shifting his weight between his feet. “... I really don't want to shout through your door for this …”

“Well that's just too damn bad. You can shout, or you can go.”

“... I assume you were watching the news this evening?” I nodded. “Well, one of my … co-workers' breathing filters got damaged, and he's inhaled some of the pheromone blend.”

I frowned deeply. “... I'm sorry? … Will he be ok?”

“We think we can make an antidote, but we need to get him to the Batcave to get a sample of his blood, and he's a bit … overly agitated for that. He won't get in the Batmobile. We have reason to believe you'd be able to help with that.”

I scoffed at that; “how, on god's green earth, am I meant to do that??”

“... I can't answer that. But I think you're the only person who would calm him down right now.”

“... Uh-huh. … Which one of you is it?”

“Red Hood.”

“... Why would I be able to calm Red Hood???”

“... I … can't answer that either. … Please come anyway. … Call it doing your civic duty?”

“Pft! That's not gonna work on me.”

“... How about helping a big, scared kid who doesn't know what's going on right now? He just knows his body is being ripped out of his control again, and he can't stop it, and everything seems like a threat.”

I froze, blinking a bit. Fuck, that sounded bad. “... How are we getting there?”

Nightwing perked up at that. “I've got my bike! Come on, let's-”

“Hold your horses, bird-boy! Let me get changed.” I sighed, shuffling into my bedroom. I pulled on a pair of jeans, my riding jacket, and grabbed my helmet, silently thanking Jason for giving them to me - and begging the universe that he be ok, wherever he was. Before leaving my room, I grabbed the red flannel Red Hood had given me all those months ago. Might as well return it, since I was going to see him again.

I ripped the tape off the door and knocked, getting Nightwing's attention. I took a deep breath, opened the door, and he passed me the mask. I slipped it on quickly; “Thanks. … I'm not going down this way, so I'll meet you in front of the building?”

Nightwing nodded, jumping off my porch, and I went back inside, sealing the door back up before I ran out the front door. I pulled my helmet and gloves on and hopped on the back of Nightwing's bike, sighing softly. “... Can't believe I'm doing this…”

“I can't believe you made me wait for you to change your clothes…”

“When my boyfriend finds out I got on a vigilante’s bike, he's probably going to have an aneurysm. If he found out I did it without proper protective layers on, he'd probably try to kill you. I’m trying to help you here.”

Nightwing chuckled a bit and we took off, flying down the road like a bat out of hell. I couldn't imagine how I was meant to fix this, or even what we would find when we got there, but I had to try. I couldn't imagine the Red Hood being scared of anything, but the way Nightwing spoke about him made him sound so fragile. ‘his body is being ripped out of his control again’??? Again??? What had this guy been through? And how was I supposed to help??

We arrived much faster than I would have expected, and I slid off the bike, looking around. Nightwing took my helmet for me, pointing to the alley. The Batmobile was pulled to the side, and Batman himself stood like a gargoyle by the driver's side. Spoiler was hunched over by a dumpster, murmuring softly. She looked up as I approached, sighing softly. “Thank God. You're up!”

Her voice sounded familiar, even through the breathing mask, but I didn't have time to dwell. I wanted to get home soon; with my luck Jason would finally text me back while I was out here doing this. I stepped closer until I could see him; the Red Hood, on his knees behind the dumpster, clutching at his chest and hissing softly, like an injured cat.

“Um … Mr. Hood?” I crouched, trying not to startle him.

He jumped anyway, looking up at me. His red helmet didn't show any emotion, but as far as I could tell he was focused on me. “... Hi, Mr. Hood. I don't know if you remember, you saved me from a would-be-rapist last March?”

I slowly held the shirt out, but he didn't move. “... I brought your shirt back.”

He continued to stare at me, so I slowly inched closer. When I was finally close enough to touch him he flinched, hiding his helmeted face in his hands. “N- no … no, go … go away … H- how'd you get here? … The lockdown …”

“... I … I can't really do that, Hood. … Nightwing brought me.”

He growled, a broken, choked sound, distorted by his voice modulator. “... You're supposed to be home … supposed to be safe …”

I nodded slowly. “... Yeah, yeah I am. So … do you think you can come out of the alley with me? … There's a lot of people really worried about you out here. They just wanna get you somewhere safe so they can take care of you.”

He shook his head quickly, choking out; “no! No needles! No needles!”

I nodded slowly, gently shushing him. “Ok, no needles. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. … Let's start with a few deep breaths, yeah? Can we do that?”

He slowly tilted his head toward me, and I moved my hands slowly up from my stomach to my throat as I breathed in, then back down again as I breathed out. I did this several times before he started to follow along, slowly letting his breathing sync up with mine. “There we go, well done. Do you think you can stand?”

He nodded once, slowly rising to stand against the wall. I slowly approached, offering him the shirt again. Gingerly, he reached out to take it, being oddly careful not to let our fingers touch. His gloves were torn open, revealing bloodied knuckles. “Can we go to the car? Looks like you've got some cuts, I bet they have a first aid kit over there.”

He flinched, shaking his head a bit. “They'll heal.”

“... They'd heal best if we cleaned them first. Can we just get some water on them, rinse the dirt out?” I slowly lifted my hands, palms up, offering them to him; “please? … I won't let them do anything you aren't ready for, I promise.”

His body seemed to move on instinct; as our hands touched he froze, whining sharply. “... Fuck … no, … d- don't want to do this … m'sposed to protect you …”

I gently squeezed his hands. “You have protected me. You protected the whole city. You did your job, Hood, and you did it well. Now let me help you. Please?”

He shuddered and collapsed against me, suddenly wrapping his arms around my waist like I was a life raft in the ocean. I grunted softly, stumbling a bit, but managed not to fall over. It briefly crossed my mind just how pissed Jason was going to be when I told him about this; if vigilantes showing up near my work made him grumpy, what was he going to do about one clinging to me like this? But I pushed the thought away, determined to get Red Hood into the Batmobile so they could take him to get treated.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, awkwardly patting his back. “... I've got you. You're gonna be ok. Let's get to the car, ok?”

He let me guide him to the Batmobile, clinging to me the whole way there. I could feel Batman staring us down as I slowly coaxed the giant man into the back seat. He let me rinse his scraped up knuckles with a bottle of water, but wouldn't accept anything else. Before I could leave, he pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling my neck and whining softly. “Ah! … U- uh, Mr. Hood, I do have a boyfriend now…”

He groaned softly, holding me tight and whispering. I only caught the occasional word, the voice modulator garbled the rest; “need ……. So pretty ……. Soft …… mine …. Love …. Fuck, just wanna …….. neeeeed~ ….”

Spoiler wrinkled her nose a bit, shrugging. “... It'll be easiest to get him treated if we just … let him be. …. Think you can sit like that for … 20 minutes?”

I sighed softly. “... I guess?”

I rubbed his shoulder gently, letting him continue to mumble and nuzzle against me. Jason would be pissed, but at least Red Hood wasn't being particularly handsy. He was actually keeping his hands very carefully on my calves or waist, never venturing between the knees and the waistband of my jeans, weirdly respectful for someone drugged out of their mind on Poison Ivy's pheromones, whether those pheromones were corrupted or not. Batman and Spoiler got in the front seats, and we sped away. I saw Nightwing riding behind us as we raced out of the city.

“... Should I be keeping my eyes closed or something?”

Spoiler turned back to face us and laughed a bit. “... Maybe? I guess. And you can take that mask off now. By the time we open the doors we'll be far enough away from the affected area.”

I nodded, sliding the breathing mask off and closing my eyes. Red Hood stroked my back, purring softly. I sighed, patting his shoulder more. I tried not to think too hard about how I was going to explain this to Jason. I'd think of something; something that would keep him from confronting the Red Hood when this was all over.

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

Taglist (open): @jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules @phoenix666stuff @dinonuggysandhuggus @anuttellaa @whore-of-many-hot-men

#fanfic #fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc #jason todd x reader #jason todd #red hood x reader #first person pov #wayne family adventures #no y/n #multichapter fic #chubby reader #x reader #Can I Get Your Number?

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hayleylatour · 7 months ago

Text

Finding Peace 🕊️

Content warning-none yet, some smut soon. Future talks of pregnancy and options. (Time frame is 2021 into 2022) this is also my first fan fiction since Wattpad 2014!

Summary- Mia is a 24 year old new bookstore owner who’s best friend is dating the drummer of up and coming metal band Bad Omens Nick Foilo. Jess is known for trying to set Mia up on blind dates. What happens when Mia meets Noah Sebastian

Pairings- babydaddy!Noah Sebastian x OC (Mia)

Chapter One- Mia's pov

"Mia babes you gotta come to this party, its Halloween, plus is kinda a party for Nick's friends birthday" Jess begged me. looking at my phone screen to see her pleading pout and batting eyes. rolling my eyes I simply nod in agreement, knowing if I don't at least make an appearance I will never hear the end of it.

"I'll come but I really don't want you trying to set me up with one of Nick's friends. I'm happy being single okay Jess" I say putting the last of the coffee mugs in the cabinet. "I'm just wanting to focus on getting the hell out of the shit hole apartment and getting this damn shop done and ready for opening”

"Okay okay I promise! No trying to set you up, but can I just say these guys are HOT, babes its been forever since you've gotten laid, have a few drinks and see where the night takes you, I'm not saying you have to date or marry one of them but who knows you might really hit it off with someone" Jess continues to ramble but I lose focus on her words when I start thinking about the last time I got laid. damn its be awhile the last time was probably 6 months ago... shit she's right I need to get laid, like yesterday.

"fine. is this a costume party or can I wear normal clothes" I sigh while picking up my phone and walking to the couch to sit down.

After awhile of chatting with Jess, we hung up our daily hour long face time. deciding to get up and start getting ready for jess party. Pulling the shower curtain open I start the water, warming it while I do some quick skin care. I cant help but think about what jess said, its been so long since I've gotten laid.

"That's it, if one of these guys is as attractive as she says, you're going to fuck him, you hear don’t chicken out. have a drink, relax and blow off some steam" I blurt out looking at my reflection, pep talks never work but dammit if I was determined to make myself believe it.

after my shower I blow dry my hair and decide on a low bun before starting my makeup, keeping everything simple and clean, with a light brown dusting over my lids and a shimmery highlight in my inner corner, finishing it off with a quick winged liner. I make my way into the bedroom to throw on a pair of skinny jeans and my favorite bring me the horizon hoodie topping the look off with black vans and making my way downstairs to my car and off to Jess and Nick's house.

there's 4 cars in the driveway when I pull in, Jess and folios included. throwing my car in park I do a once over in my review mirror. as headlights shine illuminating my car, looking over I see a tall man step out and make his way up the drive. stopping he looks at me through the windshield. I've seen him in pictures before. Noah- Folios friend and band mate. dressed in tight black jeans and a while shirt topped off with a leather jacket, Noah makes his way inside the house. now or never Mia. make your move.

"Hey Noah, wait up!" I yell exiting my car and jogging up the drive. He quickly turns on his heel and smiles down at me as I reach him, Standing at least a foot taller than me. Fuck he’s taller in person. “Lead the way” He says extending his arm towards the door.

“MIA! You made it” Jess squeals detaching herself from folios side, everyone seems to stop talking and turn their attention to the screaming. “Ah I see you met Noah, happy birthday by the way.” Jess winks at me

“Hey Jess, can I talk to you for a minute” i mutter pulling her into a hug. She nods and leads us to her bedroom. Once away from the crowd i start to explain my plan to her. I’ll have a drink and hang out and be open to the idea of hooking up with someone, failing to mention Noah’s name and how when he looks at me my heart beats a little faster. Jess tells me that if it happens it happens but she thinks i need to blow off some steam and ‘what better way to do it than an orgasm?’

When we emerged from the second floor the guys are standing in the kitchen around a box of pizza. Noah has his back to me but I can see his shoulder length hair is tucked between his ears. Their laughter fills to house which makes relaxing into the evening a little easier.

“So Mia, what do you do for work exactly? Jess was telling us you worked at a bookstore.” Jolly asks leaning forward to set his bottle on the table.

“Yeah kinda, I own the shop down on 17th, ‘Ellie’s’ my grandma left it to me in her will, I’ve been renovating it since lockdown started. But now since everything is opening back up. I’m hoping to have a reopening around mid November. Fingers crossed, I’m still working on getting the last of the furniture out of storage.” I explain sitting up a little straighter.

“That’s so cool we’ll have to come see it sometime” Ruffilo says everyone chiming in with an agreement. The party goes on just as this. Sitting on the sectional till I notice it’s getting closer to midnight, I should probably head home and get some much needed sleep. Jolly and Ruffilo have already said their goodbyes, and Jess has gone to bed, leaving Noah, Folio and myself.

“Hey thank you so much for tonight, i think im gonna head out though.” I say standing from my seat. Nick and Noah stand as well.

“Yeah I need to head out to, I’ll walk with you. Tell Jess I said thank you and I’ll message you tomorrow” Noah says pulling him into a hug. “Mia you ready?”

“Uh yeah. I’m ready” I rush. Making our way down the driveway Noah suddenly stops, turning to look at him he smiles and reaches for my wrist.

“Ya know, Jess told me that you were wanting to hook up with someone tonight, and it is technically still my birthday if you want to im more than interested” he breathes pushing my back against the driver’s side door of my car.

“Your place or mine?” I whisper.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #nick folio #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #badomens #badomenscult #concrete jungle #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian bad omens #noah sebastian smut

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astracora · 1 month ago

Text

A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 4

Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 991

Written: 21st December 2024

Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Masterlist AO3

Sylus doesn't care about holiday movies, and while he knows you're inclined towards Halloween more than Hallmark, he's heard you talking to the fish very energetically about the art style and storytelling for 'A Nightmare Before Christmas'. When he'd asked, you'd gotten that look in your eyes.

Glittering, excitable, ready to show him something new.

He can't say he particularly cares for the film, though right now it sits paused, but he does like seeing you happy, sharing something with him. He especially appreciates his head in your lap, smelling the scent of you wrapped in his sweater. Your hands drifting through his hair and over his skin. Tracing patterns on his cheek without realising, he thinks.

Your phone is pressed to your ear, and you're listening to Tara rattle off plans about a holiday party.

He's listening intently, not for any real reason, just because he always listens. If there ever comes a day where he doesn't perk up his ears to hear you, he thinks he'll have gone mad.

You give him an apologetic look for the disturbance, for pausing your plans. Though they're not real plans, nor is it necessary. He reaches a hand up to flick your forehead, gaining a yelped response that Tara questions. He chuckles as you grumble about 'Skye'. But your indignation is short lived, leaning down, moving the phone away so you can press a kiss to his forehead.

He thrills, and he wants to take you into his arms and kiss you, throw the phone across the room. Bite and devour.

Before he gets the chance, fingers flexing and evol flaring at the tips, you're sat back up right and affirming. Yes, you'll go. Yes, you'll help decorate. Yes, you're excited.

For once, he actually believes the latter. You smile, ever since he's sat down with you with the funeral arrangements he's started to see where you're fraying. Closing off, and reopening up.

He's glad the world around you is stubborn, determined. He's glad your friends don't stop, keep pulling, tugging you along, even when you worry you are pulling them too far back.

You begin twisting his hair around a finger, thinking, and he reaches up to entwine your fingers together, grounding you. Thumb brushing over your knuckles. "Feel free to invite anyone." He hears, and he has to bite back the chuckle. You fret over his presence around your colleagues, even though he promises it won't be that bad. He knows where the threats are, he's not a fool. If he ever is caught, it will be because he has been caught by you. Not some unimportant pawn to your organisation. Certainly not the people you trust.

"Alright, see you soon. Take care, alright?"

"I will." (You'll try, you mean.)

Finished, you shoot off texts, responding to messages you'd slept through. He sees the doctor's concern, the prince's confirmation that he'll be there later with your things, and the fish's updates, photos of paintings mid-progress.

You promise you'll be ok, you'll get sleep, you'll rest. They promise to see you as soon as things calm down.

He feels your grip tighten on his, placing the device down and leaning back. "Kitten?" His concern leaks through at your silence, wrist at his lips so he can place a kiss there; turning your hand to kiss the back, manoeuvring so he can kiss your palm. The silence turns to a tickle, as you smile.

"Ready?"

You don't explain the look in your eyes, but he sees your soul settle. Like you've found an answer for a question you didn't want to ask out loud.

If you don't want to talk, he won't force you. He's told you before, to come to him when you're ready. Always a space at his table, room in his bed, on the back of his bike.

If the time isn't now, he'll wait. He's grown good at waiting, even when impatience bites at his heels.

When all he wants to do is wrap himself around you and bury himself into your heart.

He looks up at you, the tired eyes, messy hair and he can't help reaching up with his free hand. Tentative fingers at your skin, smoothing your brow.

Sylus remembers when touching you like this could hurt, something you wouldn't shy away from, but the dissatisfaction lay in his chest like a brand. He remembers you wearing his brand with pride, fiery and passionate. Full of anger at the world.

You wear his marks still, flushed and embarrassed but touching bite marks in marvel. You think he doesn't notice, you also don't realise when he's watching you stand in front of the mirror. You're not subtle, offering your neck to him easily. He burns at your trust, and he thrills at your song when he does bite down.

Still... he loves the feeling of your skin against his. No scales to dull the heat of you, and he yearns for it the second he cannot touch you. Irritated too easily, even though he is not a child.

What dragon is not greedy? What dragon would not want his greatest treasure at his side always?

He only breaks from his thoughts when he hears your humming, the vibrations in your chest, rumbling through his head. As you bob your head, just about singing along to the movie, he files away in his head that he wishes to watch every musical with you.

If only to hear you hum and sing for hours.

What better use of his time, though, than to curl up with his Soul and let them show him more things he's never seen?

Placing your hand in his hair again and turning his head to watch the television, as you wish to share something with him, (even though he would rather watch you). He keeps your other hand in his and lets his heart settle into a peace he only knows through you.

26 notes · View notes

blueishspace · 2 months ago

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Hero, Villain God 21

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Hotguydaily @/HGupdates

Hero HotGuy will no longer be fighting crime alone, in a surprise message earlier today the hero association has revealed that he has already chosen who will be his sidekick henceforth.

💬44 ❤️76K 🔄368

| Hotguydailydaily @HGupdates^2 Hotguy daily has revealed that Hotguy has chosen his sidekick. || Lmao @/Lm40xd What is this weird ass Inception going on?

|Showon @/Icansh0wyu I can't believe we got Hotguy a sidekick before GTA 6. ||Prtrtrt @/prtrtrtr6 Shut the fuck up. |||Showwon @/Icansh0wyu No <3

Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun

I can't tell you guys too much but I know Hotguy's new sidekick and I'm very excited.

💬21K ❤️8M 🔄945K

|Tdfyh @/randombullshitgo Oh come on! You can't just say that and nothing else! Not fair! ||Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun Life is not fair. |||OceanQueen ☑️ @/AnarmyofAxolotls Sheriff, do I need to take away your phone priviliges? ||||Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun Wait no, you can't do that. |||||OceanQueen ☑️ @/AnarmyofAxolotls Life isn't fair. ||||||Tdfyh @/randombullshitgo What the fuck just happened?

|Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint. Are they hot? ||What. @/askingteliling23 Don't you have anything else to do????? Like being the leader of a major religion? |||Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint Right! Join the church of Sanctuary today and you'll get two cookies for free. ||||What. @/askingteliling23 You can't possibly be serious...right? ...right? ||||Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint Join right now and you'll get three?

Pix ☑️@ThisweekinHtopia.

This week in Hermmittopia the mayor has been kidnapped by a mysterious hacker or possibly a supervillain, he has been rescued by Hotguy but no official statements have yet been made by the authorities... (1/5)

💬29 ❤️84K 🔄320

|Showon @/Icansh0wyu Will you guys of today in Hermmittopia be at the official introduction. ||Pix ☑️@ThisweekinHtopia Of course, expect snippets of it!

*Scar's pov*

Cub has been staring at the screen for a worrying amount of time ...you kinda have to ask at this point.

"Did ...uh...did the public react well?"

...

"Yes"

"Oh. Oh! I was starting to get worried."

"It's still too early to be sure though, he hasn't even been officially introduced."

"Well... Yeah, you're right Cub."

"I always am."

A few more moments of silence before Cub is talking to you again.

"So has he chosen a name yet?"

Uh? Oh, he means Grian! Right.

"Oh yeah, he chose to go by Cuteguy"

...you hear a sigh.

"... Well, at least it fits the branding."

The official intriduction is going to be really soon so you feel you are allowed to be a little bit anxious. You get a sidekick! The first ever sidekick in Hermmittopia! Everything has to be perfect.

"Has the commission picked a date then?"

"They did"

"Uh?? When?"

"Just now really. Calm down Scar"

That's not what you wanted to know- oh he's doing it on purpose isn't he?

"How much time do we have?"

You could work with a month, better to hope for two though even if It's unlikely-

"It's next monday"

... WHAT

"That's just ten days!"

"Yep"

...

"Fuck"

End of Chapter 5

#trafficblr #traffic smp #hermitblr #hermitcraft #grian #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #hotguy #cuteguy #hero villain god au

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slimybeth69 · 1 month ago

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Venus in Furs

Summary: After saving your life and getting you back to Jackson, things with you and Joel feel different. While navigating this new life, raising a teenager with a man you think you know-- you run into someone unexpected.

WARNINGS: This story contains DARK themes, HIGHLY dubious consent in early chapters. Pregnancy. Pregnancy loss. talks of child abuse. therapy speak. mean!joel, dark!joel, liar!joel. unreliable narration. multiple povs. cheating. mental health- PTSD, PPD. mentions of suicide attempts. highly adult sexual themes.

I'm not kidding when I say that this shit gets dark. I try and keep this as real as fucking possible.

Please be aware of the things you consume and if none of those themes are for you, please think twice about checking this story out.

Before you read this, I recommend reading Crybaby and Such Small Hands. You don't have to, but you'll probably be confused.

unbeta'd- poorly proofread

w/c- ~24k

Part 1

Joel and Ellie both sat outside of the car crying. You had just died twice in Ellie’s arms, but Joel somehow…somehow by the grace of God brought you back both times. You have a tourniquet on your leg and your neck isn’t bleeding anymore. You seemed pretty stable now but the car was broken down and it was still a five hour hike back to Jackson. If Joel left right now, he’d get Tommy to use the horses. Get you back to the colony in another six or seven hours. Joel knew you didn’t have it in you to wait that long but he couldn’t just sit here and let you die.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’m sorry-- I don't wanna leave you—” Joel kisses the top of Ellie’s head quickly but she stops him from speaking.

“I wouldn’t leave her even if you wanted me to. I’ll stay right here. I promise.” She watches as Joel takes off running. Running with everything he has left in him which isn’t much but he’s going to shave off as much time off this hike as he can.

Ellie lays down next to you in the trunk. She watches your shallow breathing carefully to make sure that you are in fact still alive. She places one hand in yours and looks at your swollen, bruised jaw. The puncture wound behind your ear is still bloody. Ellie does her best to clean you up with what water she had left. She never slept even though she was still tired herself. She wanted to but her eyes would snap awake the minute they closed to make sure you hadn’t passed in the two seconds she had fallen asleep.

The man Joel used to be is running through these woods. The man who dealt with the beginning of the outbreak. Not a man aged by time and stress and burdens. He was just a carpenter and in decent shape. Joel was running like him right now. He didn’t even bring his backpack, it would have just slowed him down. Just a map and a compass but he ran. Fast. Branches would scratch at his hands and face because he just didn't care about finding a path. He took the fastest route whether it was up or down or through trees or water or mud. It did not matter, nothing could stop this man. He ran like that for almost an hour before his body screamed at him to stop. He had traveled a decent distance in that hour.

Another hour off his time and he was still moving, his sides cramped and he was slowing down. He had to breathe. Joel had been starting back up the second he felt like he could breathe. But now he needed to regather his strength. This was bad. You were going to die while Joel was hiking in the woods. Poor Ellie was going to have to sit with your dead body for hours. Joel felt so stupid. He should have stopped before he did to give you a tourniquet. He waited too long. Forty minutes of speeding out of the city and getting stuck at barricades and having to backtrack killed you.

Joel would never forgive himself if you died. He asked you to come! He’s the one who really killed you and that was going to haunt him forever because he was looking forward to being gentle to you for a change. Didn’t think you liked it. Never asked for it. Never complained when he smacked you around and called you names. Joel liked that. Killed you over it. Running again. As fast as he fucking can.

Joel is pounding on Tommy’s door like it’s the end of the word all over again.

“Joel it’s good to see you—” Tommy looks exhausted when he opens the door. So tired. Like Joel had just woken him up pounding on the door. He had. Tommy had been dead asleep.

“I need your help, man. Real bad. So bad. Please can we just—” Joel is already down the steps of the porch heading in the direction of the stables. Tommy is so confused but puts his boots on and grabs his jacket.

“What’s going on man? It’s the girl?” Tommy rushed to Joel’s side as he slipped the jacket over his arms. Joel shakes his head.

“Different girl. My girl. She’s dyin’, Tommy. Might be dead when we get back there.” Joel sounds like he might cry. It’s a desperate plea for help and he’s only ever heard Joel speak like this once in his life. The night of the outbreak. “She’s all shot up. She’s bleedin’ real bad. I need to get her back here. I need you to help her.” Joel is still running to the stables. He knows where to go.

“Okay man, we’ll get there. Calm down. You ain’t doin’ her no good if you keel over dead from a heart attack.” Tommy is trying to keep up with Joel. Trying so hard, but Joel is too fast.

It takes them three and a half hours to get back to the car.

When you are able to finally open your eyes again. It’s four weeks later, but you don’t know that. Everything about you feels like you’re being torn apart from the seams. Your eyes don’t even really open. They just flutter. But then there are hands on yours. From both sides. Who is touching you? Why are they touching you in your sleep? Voices. Muffled ones are speaking to you rapidly and it sounds all jumbled up together.

In your head you wanted to tell them to please stop speaking to you in Mandarin, because that’s not a language you understand and you needed assistance opening your eyes. Nothing came out though because your mouth feels like someone shoved a cactus down there while you slept.

Joel did this to you! Joel ruined your throat with his going deepest contest or whatever he did to you in the bedroom yesterday! You should have bit it off of him. If you knew it was going to cause you this kind of pain? No. That was not fair or nice of Joel. Didn’t even give you any possible side effects of going deeper. Not even a cactus in the throat! Why did everything else hurt?. What the fuck. Your eyes do open at this new and sharp pain in your throat. All the other pain is dull and constant and this is sharp and new and only when you try to speak or swallow. Joel is there and you could throttle him for putting you in the hospital! How did an innocent blowjob turn into you being in the hospital? You just wanted to lick a penis for the first time in however many years and now look at you. Hospitalized.

“Birdie.” Joel’s voice is soothing to you. Very soothing and calming and sweet and you’re not mad at this man. He could go as deep as he wanted. You’d let him. He’s fuzzy. Blurry like maybe you were underwater. “Shhh stop trying to talk. You’re intubated.”

What is intubated!? What does that mean? You start to panic but everything hurts. Every joint and ligament. Every single fiber of your being aches. Joel leaves your side and now you’re even more scared. You just got here, why is he rushing to be away from you? Ellie’s sweet girl voice is in your ear and also very calming.

“You need to relax. Just shhh and calm your body. Joel is going to get a Doctor to get the tube out.” What tube!? What is she talking about? Her words do little to calm you now that you have to worry about a tube in you somewhere. What the fuck is going on? The room your in is very similar to that of a hospital—

Ellie is by your side. Ellie is here! And she’s safe and talking to you in your ear and now you are calm because you didn’t have Ellie the last you remember. It’s coming back to you. Joel was walking beside you…touching your pinky with his because he thought that was the last time he was ever going to touch you again while you were still breathing. Ellie places a gentle hand on your upper arm and her warm touch is so comforting. You wish Ellie could crawl into this bed and just wrap you up in her warmth because you are so cold. You did not realize how cold you were. Now you’re shivering. Shivering so bad you think you might actually vibrate off the bed.

Joel returns with a man in a white coat.

Judas ! Get this coated man away from you! White coats are bad! Such bad people! They were standing over Ellie’s little frame and now you have to look at Ellie to make sure that she is in fact actually beside you and she is. Her cute face looks worried. Very worried.

“He’s going to help.” Ellie whispers down to you.

Then it goes black again.

“Hey, little bird.” Joel’s deep voice fills your small room. He holds flowers out to you. They bring a smile to your face, and now it doesn’t hurt to smile anymore. It does still hurt to talk though. Joel sets them down on the table next to you and sits down in the chair beside your bed. “You feelin’ better today?” He kisses your knuckles softly. You nod, still smiling at him.

“Yeah.” Your voice is hoarse and croaky from the tube you had been intubated with. Not Joel’s cock like you thought. “Even better now that you’re here.” Joel smiles at this like he’s a young boy and not a fifty-something year old man.

“We’ve been workin’ real hard to get the house ready for you. Our room is on the first floor so you won’t gotta deal with the stairs.” Joel holds your hand in his gently as he speaks to you, sounding excited. His eyes look excited too.

Our room.

“I bet Ellie is excited to have the whole upstairs to herself.” You croak. Joel chuckles and nods. “She doin’ alright?” Joel nods and squeezes your hand.

“Yeah she’s good. Just doesn’t really like comin’ up here— to the hospital. It’s got nothin’ to do with you, Birdie.” You nod in understanding because you don’t even like being here. “She told me to tell you that she misses you. You get to come home tomorrow though.”

Home. You get to go home tomorrow. With Joel. And Ellie.

“I know. I don’t blame her. I would have snuck out of here but sneaking is hard when you cannot walk.” Joel smiles as he continues to kiss your knuckles.

“Birdie—” Joel cuts himself off when he sees the way that you’re looking at him through your eyelashes. “What? What I’d do? I just got here. You were just fine.” He’s worried, he doesn’t know what he’s done to make you upset or…whatever emotion you’re feeling while you look at him distrustfully.

“Where did Birdie come from? When did you start calling me that all the time? You only ever used to call me crybaby .” You mock the old nickname you used to have. It’s not that you don’t like Birdie. Just curious as to where the fuck he pulled it from. Joel chuckles to himself and kisses your hand once more before letting it rest by your side again.

“I was cleanin’ ya' leg one night and you just kept whimperin’ and chirpin’ out. Sounded like a little birdie.” Joel’s smile is infectious and now you’re smiling back at him as he tells you the rest. “Then I’d make you sing like a lil bird.” His eyebrows flick up and now he’s smiling at you devilishly. “Miss hearin’ you sing for me.”

Your stomach flutters at his words. Something about his body language too, it’s making between your legs tingle and that feels good . His legs are spread wide in the chair next to your bed, he’s leaning back. He’s relaxed. Joel index finger and thumb tug at the fabric between his legs and he lifts his hips slightly to adjust himself. Your eyes had watched for the whole four seconds it took for him to do that and then you flick your gaze up to Joel’s face.

“Been missin’ ya'. Gonna have to be real gentle with ya'.” He speaks low, almost a growl but it’s hushed. “Be real careful with my little bird.” He’s still leaned back in the chair, relaxed and with his knees as far apart as he can get them in the chair. Now his hands rubbing himself over the front of his jeans gently. You wish you didn’t have this forsaken hospital gown on and tied around the back of your neck because you’d pull it down for him and show him anything. “Say somethin’.” Joel whispers. You had just been watching, wishing you could participate.

“I need you inside me.” You whisper back to him. Your hand reaches for him but he nods to your chest.

“Touch ‘em. Squeeze those perfect tits f'me.” Joel’s own hand is now rubbing hard down into the crotch of his jeans. You can see the outline of him growing harder beneath the unforgiving fabric. You bring your one hand up to your chest through the gown and grope yourself in a similar fashion to what he’s doing. He lets out a sigh and his hips start to move slowly against his hand.

Your heart is pounding in your chest beneath your hand. There are people right outside that closed door and any of them could walk in at any minute to come check your vitals and then your temperature. If they do that right now they won’t let you go home tomorrow because you’re surely have high blood pressure and a fever because you’re sweating. You wish you could touch yourself like Joel but your leg is still to swollen and this bed is too small to stretch out the way you need to.

“I can't wait to taste that fuckin’ pussy. I’ve been dreamin’ about it.” Joel groans softly. “Can’t wait to get my tongue deep inside that tight lil’ hole.” Joel’s words makes your walls contract and nothing is even inside of you yet. Your jaw falls open slightly.

You’re still a little hesitant with dirty talk yourself. Usually Joel prompts you with things to speak back to him. The way he talks to you makes you blush. Especially now in public! It was never a problem back in the woods which funny enough was only a couple miles from where you lay right now.

“Where else you want me to lick ya'?” Joel gives you a prompt right now but they’re so hard to think about when all you want to do is get touched! You want to go home right now. This is the first time you and Joel have had a real moment together without doctors and his brother Tommy and Tommy’s pregnant wife Maria. Or people from the town coming to offer support to Joel on the house he was fixing up. You’ve been awake a week and this is your first real uninterrupted moment with him.

“Everywhere.” You whisper because it’s all you can muster. All of your energy is buzzing between your legs and in your lower belly. It’s almost too much, it feels like you’re too turned on and you’re going to float away with your pelvis leading you upwards.

“Tell me where.” Joel is leading you, helping you figure out how to talk dirty to him. “Where else do you want my tongue besides your perfect lil cunt?” The words drip off his tongue like molasses.

The door opens and your hand falls to your side. Joel’s hand moves to the armrest of the chair and he pulls himself into a sitting up position instead of his relaxed, almost laying down prone pose he had just been in quickly. Now he’s sitting, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his index finger curled over his smirking lips. Your face is red. Redder than you can even imagine.

“So how are you feel—” The nurse stops and looks at you and cocks her head to the side. “You feelin’ alright, hun? You look a little flushed?” She had not seen what was going on in the room before she walked in so she did not know the reason for all of the blood behind your cheeks.

You go to speak but just a weak croaking sound comes out. It makes her look more worried and Joel has to stifle a chuckle from beside your bed. You shoot him a glance while you clear your throat.

“I’m fine. Just a little warm in here.” You lie because you had been cold before Joel got in here and steamed the room all up with his sexy words and forceful massages on his hard cock below his jeans. You steal another glance at him and now his eyes are closed and his shoulders are moving up and down softly– he’s laughing! This is funny to him!

“Aww, well lemme open a window in here for you, sweetheart.” The nurse is so nice and trying so hard to be helpful in your fevered state. You’re so embarrassed. Your nipples are rock hard under your hospital gown and they prove you're lying! It’s an obvious giveaway at your lack of being warm and your current state of arousal. The nurse opens the window and chilled spring air rushes in and makes your nipples even harder! Goosebumps rise on your flesh and you wish she would shut it. You’re no longer a little warm.

The nurse— her name is Shannon, goes by Shan– takes your vitals and writes everything down on a chart at the end of your bed.

“Are you excited to go home tomorrow? Been here for almost six weeks. You gotta be ready to sleep in your own bed and be in your own house for the first time!” She’s so excited for you. She’s been your nurse for the entire time and she’s been watching all of this fall into place for you, for the four and a half weeks you were in a coma and then the last week and couple days while you’ve been conscious. She might be as excited as you are.

“I…cannot wait.” You sigh as she places your chart back in the holder at the end of your bed. “What time do I get to leave?” You’re anxious though, you’d rather just go home right now and don’t understand what a couple hours difference makes. It’s not even a real hospital. It’s a refurbished elementary school that they use in place of a hospital so why can’t you leave now?

“As soon as you get your last round of antibiotics in the morning after breakfast.” Shan smiles down at you. “You been here longer than any of my other patients, I’ll miss you.” She frowns dramatically. “But now we can go drink at the bar together.” She flicks her eyebrows up once. She was a year younger than you and grew up in Southern California. You have a lot in common with her, she’s fun and is easy to talk to. You have a friend that wants to get drinks with you.

Shan leaves and Joel is on your mouth before you can look over at him. His tongue is swirling around yours and his hand is on your chest, groping you the way you had been touching yourself but harder, with more aggression behind his hand. He’s moaning into your mouth as your hand finds his still hard cock under his jeans as he leans over you in your hospital bed. Your other hand reaches around the back of his neck and pulls you into him tighter.

“You’re mine.” Joel whispers against your lips as he pulls away. “Don’t go gettin’ any fuckin’ ideas at that bar. You come home to me. Because you belong to me, understood?” Joel’s words are firm. A verbal declaration of his ownership of you. It makes you feel…uneasy the way he says it like he might actually believe it, and it’s not just bedroom talk.

“Okay.” You whisper back to him, regardless of that uneasy feeling in your stomach because he’s not…wrong in a sense. You don’t want to be with anyone else. You are his. He is yours. What’s there to feel uneasy about? Joel pulls his head from yours and looks into your eyes.

“Say it.” He’s so serious.

“I belong to you.” It comes out of you before you can question him, or hesitate at all because the way he’s looking at you is making you a little nervous. “I belong to you.” You say it again after a moment because he doesn’t look away. This time he must believe you because he kisses you again and then sighs softly.

“Good.”

Joel says his goodbyes because it’s late. He shuts the window for you first and tucks you into bed. He touches your mound softly over the blankets while he kisses you goodbye.

Now you’re alone with this new thought in your head of what Joel means by that. It felt like much more than just an admittance of love— that’s actually not what it felt like at all. It was like he was speaking a rule into the universe and now you had to follow it. This felt different than the time he had said it in the bedroom or when you walked out of that abandoned cabin so long ago. Sexy and jokes those felt like. You realize that this is the first time you’ve ever been around other people with Joel who weren’t trying to kill you.

Oh.

The next morning your unease is not forgotten but it is overlooked by your excitement to get out of the hospital and sleep in a real bed and to see Ellie. Joel and Tommy ended up going back for the car and fixing it up on the side of the road so that he could drive it back. Now it’s a community car for moments like this. When someone who is unable to walk needs to get around for a longer distance. The whole colony is small but you cannot walk. Not yet.

“Ellie is so excited to see you.” Joel holds your hand as he drives you to your new house. “I’m glad you’re comin’ home. Been empty there without you.” His words make you smile because you have missed him. So very much.

“I’m excited to see how you two decorated. It’s probably very interesting.” You smirk at him. You are pleasantly surprised when you walk in and it’s perfect. Nice chairs in the living room and a couch. There are three bedrooms. Two upstairs and one on the first floor. Three bathrooms. You and Joel have your own and there is running water.

Ellie is at school. Which is weird. School. You’ll have to see if they have classes for people like you who never got to graduate. You missed out on some things and don’t want to be behind when Ellie needs help.

“Easy, birdie.” Joel eases you down into the large bed, topped with nice soft sheets and a comforter. No more sleepers. “Do you need anything before I go?” Joel asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. You raise your eyebrows.

“Go? Where are you going?” You guys just got here. What is so important?

“Gotta take the car back. I’ve been helpin’ Tommy around town. Time doesn’t stop just cause you came home today.” He kisses your forehead and you frown.

“I thought you’d at least stay for a little bit.” You roll your eyes at him. “I get it though. Go be Mr. Carpenter man. Go build buildings and whatever else it is you do.” You smirk. Joel smirks back at you. “Won’t even make me come first.” You playfully turn your nose up at him.

“And you better not touch it until I come back. I mean it.” He narrows his eyes at you when you turn to look at him. “I’ll know.”

“How would you know?” You have a snide tone like how is that something he could possibly figure out. Joel doesn’t say anything, he just leans down and kisses you gently on the lips.

“Don’t touch it. Or you get punished.” Another small kiss before he pulls away and is gone before you can ask him what ‘ punished’ means. Punished? Like spanking because you like those. He’d have to wait for another one of his go-as-deep-as-you-can contests or whatever the fuck that was!

Punishment. You had never received one you don’t think. Maybe the spanks but those were not uncommon. The whip had been new and forgotten about in the house.

That had been a punishment.

It stung so good though. Was punishment supposed to be bad? Unenjoyable? You don’t know if you’d like to find out. The doctors don’t have pain pills. That’s not a thing. But was is a thing from the past is medical marijuana. The doctor gave you pain management in the form of ten little rolled cigarettes and three brownies. He said do not eat the brownies all at once. They should be cut into eighths. Little small pieces. You have not touched them. You are too scared, that was never something you did before the end of the world! You sucks dicks and snuck out and then also got drunk one time with your friends. You ended up throwing up.

Smoking weed. No. You will suffer.

You do suffer until Ellie gets home.

“Hi!” She runs into your room and hugs you tightly. “I’ve been thinking about you all day! I ran home from school! I have so much to tell you!”

Ellie tells you that she likes school because now she has friends and people besides you and Joel to hang out with— ouch what the fuck? That is heartbreaking but carry on— there is a girl that Ellie thinks is cute and she has two classes with her. Gym and Old World History.

“Do you offer to walk her home from school?” You ask, leaning in with your eyebrows raised. “Because you should. Girls like that kind of stuff.” Ellie widens her eyes and takes mental notes.

“What else?” She asks curiously.

The next hour is spent explaining how to win over a girl's heart in very specific detail. You go on until the pain in your leg is too much.

“Okay. I need you to please go to the freezer and can you please cut up one of those brownies into like a million little pieces— actually bring it in here so I can do it.” You do not trust a fourteen year old girl who is probably sneaky!

Joel walks in the room just as Ellie leaves. He already has a brownie piece in his hand for you.

“Where are you goin’? You do your homework yet?” He looks down at Ellie who had just stopped herself from bumping into his chest. She shakes her head from side to side and points back to you.

“I’ve been with her. I was just about to go get her whatever that is.” She points to the square in his hand.

“It’s her medicine. You stay out of it. Homework before dinner, please?” He is still looking down at her. She nods and grabs her backpack off the floor near your bed. She smiles at you and then her eyes go wide for a moment.

“We can all eat in here, right? With her? She can’t sit at the table!” Ellie exclaims at Joel, pointing to your leg. He chuckles and takes two more steps in the room.

“Yes. We can. Go do homework and then start dinner. I’ll come help you in a little bit.” Joel messes with her hair and pushes her head softly. “Go, punk. I’ll be out soon. Shut the door.” Ellie wrinkles her nose at the two of you.

“Disgusting. You can’t wait until I’m gone!? Or asl—” Joel points with his free hand out the door.

“Go. Now.” He’s firm with her. She rolls her eyes and marches out the door noisily.

“Fine. Still gross.” She announces before she shuts the door.

Joel turns to look at you before he sighs loudly and holds his hand with the brownie in it for you.

“Doctor said this is pretty potent so you’ll be giggling soon.” He sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you with big brown eyes. “I got the day off tomorrow. All day. Jus’ me and you. In bed. Bein’ gentle. I’mma wait on you hand and foot and do whatever you ask of me, lil’ bird.” Joel’s country drawl comes out as he speaks and it makes your lower stomach do flips inside of you. “My lil bird.” This really does something to your hips for some reason now because now they’re moving gently against the bed. You still haven’t even taken the brownie from him because you have been hypnotized by his words and his eyes. Joel takes the piece of brownie in between his fingers and reaches towards your opening mouth. He places it on your tongue gently while he looks into your eyes. “Swallow it up, birdie.” He coos softly. You chew quickly.

It does not taste like any brownie you’ve ever had before! It tastes like a skunk got in here and left a bunch of grass and plants! Barely a treat! You almost spit it out and Joel is laughing at you. With tears in his eyes at your reaction. He can barely look at you, he has to hold his hand up and cover your face with it.

“Stop.” He laughs. “It’s not–” More choked on laughter. He cannot even speak. “Stop’it. You’re too much.” He’s cracking up! It’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen, apparently.

“You stop it. That was awful! Where was the brownie!? Where was the chocolate?! It tastes like it grew out of the ground and got sprayed by a skunk!” Joel has bursted out into another fit of laugher, this time tears coming to his eyes while you speak.

“I’m gonna go take a lil square. You’re hilarious. I can’t imagine you when I’m stoned. Jesus. We’ll be laughin’ all night.” Joel gets up from the bed and gives you a small kiss. “I’ll send her in here to do homework while I get dinner started.”

Okay! You had nothing to worry about yesterday at the hospital. Joel was just lust filled and let a little of his bedroom voice and words get lost in the real life. It’s fine. It happens sometimes. You are his little bird and he is your… you don’t know. What would you call him? Your boyfriend? You two are grown. That feels so immature but he is not your husband…he has also not even asked you to be his girlfriend…not officially so stop thinking about this nonsense. You will call him Joel as always.

Ellie skids into the room like she owns the place and falls to her knees on the floor and starts to talk. About everything. Doesn’t stop until Joel comes in with bowls that are steaming with white trails coming off the top.

He sets a tray down in front of you. You did not realize how hungry you were. This looks amazing. It’s a soup of some kind, maybe a stew. You do not care. Hunger. Hunger has never pandered you in this way before. But your mouth is too dry it will not even open. The room is so quiet too. Joel has given you water on your little tray so you try to drink some. It’s so good. So refreshing. Joel has to get you two more glasses before you even start to eat.

“Thirsty much? Jeeze.” Ellie judges you but she doesn’t know what condition you’re in. You’re high for the first time. It’s horrifying.

“Leave her alone. She’s goin’ through it right now. Her medicine is strong.” Joel look at you from the chair he’s sitting in. You start giggling because you are going through it. Your heart is racing and everything feels like it’s moving too slow.

“What is this?” You ask Joel holding the soup up in your spoon. Your eyes feel so heavy but you are not tired. Not even in pain anymore, really. Your whole body just…doesn’t. It doesn’t feel like anything.

“Soup?” Joel gives you a worried look but you look into the bowl in awe.

“No, what kind of soup.” You ask, looking back up at him now. Joel chuckles and shakes his head.

“Venison.” He explains as he takes his own spoonful. Ellie pipes up from the floor beside you. It startles you because you forgot she was here. You almost drop your spoon of soup. You look down at her in fear.

“It’s good. Try some.” She sounds so innocent and here you are. High and dying in bed. Unable to swallow the soup you’ve up in your mouth because you forgot how to swallow.

What had Joel given you? What was in that horrible brownie!?

“Is she going to be okay?” Ellie asks, and you had once again forgotten she was there and it scares you.

“I have to go to bed.” You sigh and lay back against the pillows.

“Nope. We should go. C’mon. Let’s go eat at the table. Crybaby here can’t handle her shit.” Joel jokes. You do not see what happens next because your eyes are closed and your trying to remember if you breath from your left or right lung first…you cannot remember having to worry about this before but it has become the biggest issue in your brain right now. “C’mon. She’s gonna need to take a long nap.”

Everything feels so warm and so good. Your eyes are still closed and breathing is no longer an issue, it’s on automatic again and you can rest, not having to worry about shifting the gears of your body any longer. Everything is good and warm and wet and between your legs is throbbing in the best way. Your hips move slowly for some reason. It’s unknown to you why they’re doing that. Your hand is gripping something. Hair maybe. You don’t know.

“Such a good little girl for not touching her pussy.” The voice is deep and not coming from beside you. “So obedient.” It sounds like it’s close, the voice. Joel's voice. Your hand pushes back against the hair and you feel his head between your legs. “Oh do you want Daddy to stop?” Your walls clench around nothing when he speaks to you, and now your hand is pulling his hair closer to your middle again. He wraps his lips around you and presses his flat tongue against your clit. He moves it up and down slowly against the swollen nub he had been working on for the last forty minutes while you slept.

“Keep going, Daddy.” You whisper softly in your half-asleep state. This sends a shock to Joel’s system. He’s pressing his mouth harder against you, his two fingers that had been playing with your slit push inside of you.

“Say it again.” He growls against your cunt.

“Keep going, Daddy.” You repeat yourself, but it’s moaned now at the feeling of his fingers inside of you.

“You love when Daddy touches his little princess? ” He whispers as his fingers curl inside of you. You nod and moan quietly, arching your back at his touch “Say it to me then.” His country drawl between your legs vibrates something inside of you.

“I love when Daddy touches me.” These are not words you speak! You do not say things like that but they’re coming out of your mouth. Your brain still feels so fuzzy. But everything else feels so good. Waves of pleasure wash over you as Joel goes back to swirling large circles around your clit, his fingers still moving inside of you. But now your body moves with each thrust of them into your cunt.

“I love your lil pussy, baby.” Joel whispers softly. It makes your already dizzy and foggy brain spins more when he talks low like that against you. “I wanna feel baby come on Daddy’s fingers.” Now he’s curling them against you now but now slowly. Quickly. It makes your breath hitch in your throat. You haven’t been able to open your eyes, it’s like they’re glued shut. “Then Daddy is going to get you pregnant.”

Your hips move wildly against his fingers and tongue. It’s so fucking hot to be spoken to that way and you’ve never been spoken to like this. It makes your slickness leak out against Joel’ fingers. He curls his two fingers inside you quicker as his tongue tightens around your clit into those good circles. Those movements with meaning.

“Come for Daddy.” Then his tongue is back on you. You obey him because why would you not? It’s been building inside of you since you woke up, or maybe this was a dream in your influenced state. You gush, that good feeling. Joel is between your legs when you open your eyes and look down at him. He’s got your good leg up on his shoulder and he’s still making you come.

Your head falls back into the pillows and your grip in his hair tightens. His naughty words, taboo words do something to you. Make you come harder than you ever have. The drugs make everything feel better too.

“Daddy’s gonna fuck his princess now.” He leans up and your good leg stays on his shoulder.

“Okay, Daddy.” You whisper, your hand finds the back of his neck. You can feel him pressing the head of his cock into your entrance and you almost want to go back to sleep. Your head is so heavy.

“Shhhh baby, go back to sleep. Let Daddy do all the work.” He whispers into your ear as he thrusts himself into you. It jolts you, eyes open again and now your gripping on to Joel as he fucks you, short gentle bursts to not hurt your other leg. “You like getting fucked like this?” He growls down to you.

“Yes.” You respond, still groggy and fuzzy headed. “I do.”

“Yes, I do… what ?” He licks the arch of your ear gently as he speaks. His moves inside of you are calibrated. He knows exactly what to do to make you tremble below him. Make you say anything he wants.

“Yes, I do. Daddy.” You please him when you speak because he lets out a guttural moan and now he thrusts inside you deeply, pulling his hips back far until just the tip of him is inside of you.

“That’s a good girl. I love fucking this perfect slutty cunt. I love it so fucking much. So fucking flthy and perfect.” He groans as he holds onto one of your hips, the other is holding your ankle up to his shoulder. “You have to ask to come from now on, you better fuckin’ ask you you’ll get punished, okay, baby?” You nod, listening to his words. They're almost drown out by the feeling building inside of you.

“O-o-ookay.” You whimper. Joel laughs at you! Laughs into your ear and mocks you.

“Oo-okay.” He keeps laughing. “Sound fuckin’ stupid. My cock make you stupid? Huh?” You don’t know what to say because you’re not stupid just getting fucked and you’re stoned. “Open up.” Joel speaks before you can and you open your mouth. He moves his head and looks down at you, spitting into the back of your throat. Before you can close and swallow, one hand comes to grip your face, forcing your mouth back open. Joel does it again, leans in until his mouth is almost on yours and spits onto your tongue. “Stupid slutty baby.” Joel whsipers into your saliva filled mouth. “Stupid as the day I met you.”

You come. Hard all over Joel’s cock. He laughs again because you already forgot the rule he just gave you. You couldn’t help it. He just made you feel so good with his dirty fucking words and the way he was thrusting inside of you.

“Oh, just wait for Daddy to think up a punishment for his girl. He didn’t think it’d happen so fast.” Joel coos down to you lovingly. “Love feeling you fucking come on my cock though. You better do it again before the night is over, babygirl. My sweet little girl.” He’s still holding your face with his hands while he fucks you and talks down to you this way. You’re soaked between your legs and so is he while he slams himself inside of you.

“C-can I come again, Daddy?” You purr up to him as he drives another powerful forced thrust into your hips.

“No.” It’s short and with no explanation of why. You assume this is punishment. Joel moves his hips in short, speedy bursts. “Say you love Daddy and that you like— fuckin’ hell you’re so god damnned tight— tell Daddy you love him and that you like his cock in you like this.” Joel snaps it out quickly at you. “Then you can come. With me. You fucking whore.” You are so desperate for release and so high still that you just repeat what he told you to say. They flow out of your mouth effortlessly.

“I love you, Daddy. I love your c-cock in my pussy like this. Love when you lick my cunt, Daddy.” You throw in your own little flavor, see if it makes him happy and it does because he gives you the command, gives you release as he drives into you faster now.

“Come. Come for Daddy. You’re such a filthy whore. I love your stupid fucking cunt so god damned much, Jesus Christ.” Joel groans all those words out as he continues to thrust. You can feel his cock throb inside of you as he does it. He’s filling you. Another orgasm, your second or third. You cannot remember. As soon as it leaves your body you are asleep in the sheets and the pillows below Joel.

When you wake up it’s light outside and Joel is still in bed next to you, also asleep. Everything feels…strange. Like you’re still in a dream somehow.

You need less fucking medcine that for fucking sure. What the hell happened to you last night? Couldn’t eat dinner? Had the weirdest fucking dream… the weirdest fucking dream you’ve ever had. You’ve never said the words you spoke in that dream before. It’s yucky and weird and you do not like it. Not really…you don’t think. The dream has thoughts racing through your head. Joel was penetrating you between your legs in this dream! Maybe that won’t bother you so much when your able anymore. You don’t know when your leg stops hurtin’ so fuckin’ bad you wanna try!

“You awake, lil bird?” Joel asks groggily from behind you. You wrap one hand around his wrist to keep it from moving. He’s wrapped around your waist and you’re not ready for him to get up yet. “Okay…jeez. Don’t gotta squeeze so hard.” He teases, pressing gentle kisses behind your ear. You hold him to you and take in the fact that you don’t have to leave. No traveling. No running. No quests. Just you and Joel in this bed until Ellie got home and then you could be a normal family but right now you were going to be with this man for as long as you could.

“You really get to stay all day?” You turn your head to look at him. He nods and kisses your lips softly.

“All day.” Joel's voice is so deep. It reminds you of the dream you had.

“I had the weirdest dream last night.” You chuckle softly. “So weird. Might even be too weird for you.” You look flick your eyebrows at him. He narrows his eyes onto yours.

“Tell me.” He growls it, like he’s so excited he cannot wait to hear this dream you had.

You replay the whole thing. Say all the words and Joel watches and smirks. You’re shocked because he looks like he likes this.

“Did you like that dream?” Joel asks, once your finished. You think for a minute and nod. You remember the dream pretty well for it being a dream…and you being higher than a kite for the first time.

“I’ve never called anyone one that before. It sounds so weird.” You blush because it is…very naughty. Joel tips its head from one side and then to the other slowly, like he’s thinking. His finger traces along your bellybutton.

“It is a little weird. But it’s just cause you haven’t said it before.” Joel looks down into your eyes, he’s resting on his elbow. “Different things feel weird sometimes. Remember when I put it in your ass?” He raises his eyebrows at you and smirks. You blush again and nod. “I think it’s hot as hell. You should start calling me that when I fuck you.” Joel leans down and kisses you gently. You expect more, for things to go somewhere because of this sexy conversation but he pulls away. “Will you?” He’s looking for an answer right now.

“I guess. I don’t know. Let’s try it out soon and see how it goes?” You look up at him with your big eyes and he nods again.

“Yeah, we’ll see, Princess.” Joel leans down and kisses your temple softly and gets up to leave to go to the attached bathroom.

You think for a moment and try to remember if you told him about the part when he called you princess and you don’t think you did. You focused mainly on the fact that you were calling him daddy. You rack your brain and try to remember but you cannot. How can you remember a dream so well that happened while you were under the influence but not something you said four seconds ago? Strange. Blame it on the weed and the titillating dream you had last night.

Joel brings you coffee and you ask him what compelled him to call you princess. His eye do something…strange. Like…maybe flash to the side quickly before he gives you his very loving and caring response.

“Because that’s what you are today. A princess. My Princess.” Joel sips his own coffee and sits back next to you in bed. “Gonna treat you like one all day. How’s your leg feeling?” He nods down to it with his head. You shrug. Something about this whole princess thing has you feeling a little on edge.

“Fine.” You say, looking down into your cup of instant black coffee that tastes like soy sauce but it does perk you up a little. Just a little as you drink it. Joel pushes some hair behind your ear and calls you like a cat.

“Pst.” It’s quick but it does what he wanted, it makes you look at him. “Wanna smoke a joint with me?” He has another devilish grin on his face but this one is far more innocent then the last time he did it in the hospital room. You nod because now that Joel is with you, it doesn’t seem so scary to be high. He goes to the top drawer of his dresser and brings out one of those rolled cigarettes and a lighter. He lights it for you and then hands it to you after puffing softly.

“So we’re gonna get high and what? Struggle to breathe again? Because I struggled for a while last night before I fell asleep.” You hand the joint back to him after hitting it twice. It makes you cough but you sip your soy-sauce-coffee and it helps a little. Joel chuckles as he hits the joint a couple times and opens the window of the room. The breeze feels nice.

“You can struggle to breath and I can lick that perfect cunt. If you want me to?” Joel leans against the wall beside the window and you sigh. You want him too but you’re sore. Your leg and your whole middle just aches.

“I don’t know. I think it might be too soon? Hurts today. Worse than it did yesterday.” You take the joint from Joel’s outstretched hand. “Weird. Must be from all the moving around. Getting into the house and everything.” Joel nods in agreement and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Do you want a couple extra pillows? More blankets? Anything for you, crybaby.” Joel takes the joint from your outstretched hand and you wave your hand at him after.

“No more.” You cough softly. “Can’t do it anymore.” You wheeze. Joel chuckles and pinches the cherry with his fingertips after he licks them. “Yes to pillows. No more blankets. I’m sweating. Joel places the joint on the window sill and pulls the sheets back. You have no shorts or underwear on. You cannot remember if you put them on when you got home…no. Joel didn’t put any on after he gave you a little thorough sponge bath. Just the nightgown.

“You alright?” Joel asks, noticing you looking into your lap.

“Just wonderin’ where my panties are.” You smirk up at him. He smirks back at you.

“I never put ‘em back on you after the hospital. Easier access.” He kisses your forhead and leaves the room to go shower.

When would he have needed access? And easily?

Joel comes back from the bathroom and you are giggly.

“Come snuggle with me.” You hold your arms out to him and smile up at him with hooded, bloodshot eyes. Your arms feel like they weigh 4 billion pounds. Joel looks down at you from the side of the bed and crawls over to you.

“Oh, Birdie wants me to hold her? Pet her real gently ?” He coos into your ear as he takes you into his arms. You nod and close your eyes, pressing the uninjured side of your body into him. “I love taking care of you. I love protecting you.” Joel kisses the side of your face gently.

“Keep talkin’.” You murmur softly as you snuggle back down into bed. All anxieties you ever had are gone. This is much better than the brownie, if you could even call it that. Joel chuckles as he kisses across your face all over gently and slowly.

“I was scared I was gonna lose you. I ran so fast to get here so I could bring you home.” Joel whispers sweet words against your skin. “My whole world is here now. In this bed. At school. Right here and I don’t have to move mountains or kill people to keep them safe anymore.” Joel’s voice is making your body buzz. “I would though. I’d kill anyone who ever touched you.” He goes back to kissing your cheeks and now your eyelids and forehead.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” You open your eyes as much as you can in your state and smile up at him because he is…technically…already your boyfriend? You think? You do not know. Joel looks down at you now, also with hooded bloodshot eyes and nods slowly.

“I do, baby. I thought I already was.” He leans down and kisses your lips softly. You giggle against his mouth and close your eyes again because it’s too much work to keep them open.

“I thought that too! I was just thinking about it, but we never talked about it. And I like to talk about things. I do.” You nod up at him with your eyes still closed. “I can’t stop thinking about that dream, Joel.” You whisper up to him. He leans down and breathes softly against your mouth.

“Call me Daddy, I like hearing you say it.”

“Okay, Daddy.” You murmur and he kisses you softly after the words leave your mouth. He sighs loudly from his nose as he does it, the hot air expelled against your lips and cheeks. It makes you dizzy knowing you do that to him.

It feels good to make him do stuff like that. Moan and groan and sigh like he is. You want to keep him making those sounds so you’ll do as he says. Because you like being a princess and you like being a good girl. Pleasing Joel makes you happy. You know it in your heart. Joel pulls away from you now.

“Gonna teach you how to use that mouth. Make it filthy like mine.” Joel draws it out in his Texas accent. “You wanna learn how to talk like a slut since I fuck you like one?”

“Yes, Daddy.” You nod your head. He holds your face in his hand and presses on your cheeks with his fingers where your teeth meet, forcing it open. He spits into it, twice. He holds your mouth open like that.

“Speak more. Say more than two fuckin’ words.” He spits into your mouth again and lets it go with a soft push. “Swallow.” You obey and open your eyes to look up at him. He’s looking down at you with his brown eyes and they’re so dark. You love them. His graying facial hair, his dark, thick messy mane. Love everything about him.

“Yes, Daddy. I’ll use m-my filthy mouth— just like you want me to. Like a g-good g-girl.” You look up at him and he shakes his head from side to side like he's disappointed. Your heart shatters.

“G-g-good g-girl.” He mocks you gently. “Lose the fuckin’ stammer unless I got my hands on you. It makes you sound stupid. I only want you cock stupid. Come stupid. Be confident in yourself, baby. You can do it. ” He presses the back of his fingers to your cheek gently and drags them down to your jaw.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m just nervous.” You whisper up to him honestly. Joel growls lowly from his throat and presses his forehead to yours. “Don’t be mad at me, Daddy.” Joel presses his forehead against yours tighter after you speak like he’s frustrated with you, trying to hold back something. When he speaks it’s like he’s snarling.

“That is fucking perfect." Joel is so proud of you somewhere in that deep snarl of approval. His voice quickly changes to very sweet and comforting. "Have to just be confident, baby girl.” Joel is rocking his hips against the side of your good thigh, you can feel his length against your skin, he’s ten thousand degrees and it’s making your head spin. “Talk about your cunt, sweetie. Daddy loves hearing you talk about it.” You want words to come out of your mouth but it feels like you have literal charcoal dust in your mouth. It’s sucked all the moisture out and now, you’re tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth. “Awwww, cat got your tongue, lil girl?” He whispers into your ear.

“Water.” You gasp. Joel shoots out of bed and into the bathroom, he returns with a glass of water and a throbbing erection right at face level. Your bloodshot eyes stare at it as he hands you the glass of water. You try to take it from him but your eyes are not looking for water now, they’re glued to his cock and you’re just reaching for air—near the glass but not even touching it. Your hand opens and closes around nothing as he makes it flex and jump in front of your face.

“Cock stupid. That’s how I like you. Look’it you. Can’t take your eyes off it.” Joel pushes his hips forward towards you. You reach out with your other hand and try to touch him but he pulls away. “No.” It’s stern and makes you look up at him, now his eyebrows are furrowed and he’s pressing the glass of water into your outstretched hands. “Nope. Not for you. Not today or tomorrow or the next.” You bring the glass to your lips and gulp as your eyes go wide in a lack of understanding. “Punishment. You don’t get to touch. You don’t get to come. You don’t get to do nothin’ but talk. And swallow. ‘Cause Daddy still has to come, right baby?” He nods down at you as you drink the entire glass of water. “Say it.” You hold the empty glass in your lap.

“You’re right, Daddy.” You gasp, looking up at him now and he presses his thumb against your bottom lip, drags it down and then releases it. It snaps back up to your upper lip with a small, hollow popping sound. He grins down at you.

“You’re so fuckin’ good. God damn. I got fuckin’ lucky.” His voice is so deep. “Princess hungry? I’ll make us eggs. Got some fresh bread from the neighbor so I can make toast too.” You nod silently.

In your high…paranoid state maybe something is telling you that this doesn’t feel…normal. This isn’t how a boyfriend spoke to their girlfriends…right? You don’t know. You only had one when you were fifteen and he used to call you ‘shorty’, so baby girl and princess and… cock stupid are better than that? Yes? You don’t fucking know. What even is a boyfriend? A man who loves you and cares for you and protects you and Joel does all those things. What’s the issue? He was in your kitchen, making you eggs naked. With his big fucking cock swinging between his legs and you LOVE that. So much. It’s the most amazing experience you’ve ever had. Want to continue to have it.

You think.

You don’t know! It was fun— so much fucking fun, trekking through the woods every four nights a couple months ago. Sneakin’ around. Bein’ disgusting in that cabin together. Now he’s speaking to you in this way and it makes you feel so many different things. Disgusting still, yes–absolutely. You love it but now you…care for him? But he also makes you…nervous? The man sprinted through the cocksuckin’ woods for five hours to get you to safety. Rode all the way back to you on horseback and then held you on his horse the entire way back. Your cold and almost dead body. He must care for you. Has to. Who would do that for someone they just wanted to fuck and call names? Who?!

“Why you lookin’ so fretful?” Joel asks as he walks in with a plate of food for you. You can eat this time. The eggs and toast go down so easily. You look around the room like there is a buffet in here you can go up and get seconds at but there is just dressers and wood. No more food. You whine quietly in frustration when you realize there is not even a crumb left for you to lick off the plate. Joel looks at your empty plate and swaps with you, giving you the last half of his breakfast. “For Princess. Hurry up and finish though. You gotta shower and try to get up and move. Doctors orders.”

The shower is fuckin’ cold—what the fuck? You’re not a stranger to a cold dip in the river or a bird bath in the sink but a whole shower of freezing cold water felt more like a punishment than not being able to come for three whole days. You could do it. You had just gone however many fucking weeks without it. What’s three more days?

“Put your leg up here.” Joel taps the calf of your bad leg and then points to the edge of the tub. You carefully rest your foot up on it and keep all your weight on your good leg. Joel washes you with soap. He gets into every crevice and fold you have and then he rinses. He does that with the rest of you. Then he shuts the water off and looks at you, shivering, leaving up against the wall of the shower. “Keep your leg up there.” He rests one hand on the side of your head and leans into you while looking into your eyes his other hand pressed tightly against your cunt. He starts to rub. "Let Daddy touch that pussy."

You didn’t think he was going to let you and now you’re hips are working against his fingers, pushing into his hand harder. He lets you and chuckles against your cheek as he kisses you.

“Yeah baby, move those hips. Get yourself nice and wet for Daddy.” His voice grumbles so deeply. You moan softly as he stiffens his hands and quickens his movement against you. Fast, back and forth against your clit. You’re still shivering and now, sliding up and down slightly on the slick wall behind you. “Fuck yeah.” Deep gravel country drawl in your ear as he slips two fingers into your folds and up inside of you. He curls them, fast and aggressive like he’s trying to pull you closer to him from inside of you. It's so intense and almost feels like it's too much. It makes you moan loudly. Joel sighs and works his fingers faster.

“Oh, fuck. Yes, Daddy. Can I please come?” It brings you there so fast, your good knee starts to buckle and he pulls his fingers away at just the last moment, you were just about to release all over him. Your eyes open in horror as you watch him suck his two fingers clean. Entirely. Joel shakes his head no, down at you.

“Nope. Did you forget? You come stup– you didn’t even come. You just actin’ stupid. Knock it off.” Joel leans in and kisses your forehead. “C’mon. You’re chitterin’ and shivering like crazy.”

Joel dries you. Changes your bandage after he cleans your gunshot wound. Puts you in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Comfy clothes. The first comfy clothes you’ve worn in years. You can put a small amount of weight on your leg. It hurts with each step but you can do it, Joel holds on to your arm on your weak side to give you some support.

“Perfect. You got it.” Joel kisses the side of your head as you sit gingerly at the kitchen table. You watch him as he goes into the kitchen and looks in all the cupboards.

Denying you a good come. How dare he? You didn’t think he’d be bringing you right there, point to it and say ‘hey, you see that right there? Put your hand on it, touch it’ and then the minute you fucking reach for it, he pulls you away and goes ‘hahahaha you’re so dumb, idiot’. What the fuck was that? Come denial!? Is that even a thing?

Joel returns with more toast but this time it has jam of some sort on it.

“I got the jam from the neighbor woman as well. Her name is Ava.” Joel sits down at the table with you. “She’s nice. Lil bit older than you maybe. Just her in the house. She’s two doors over. Nice lady.” Joel watches you eat.

Who the fuck is Ava? And why does Joel know so much about her? Hmph. You do not like this Ava even though she makes great bread and good jam. It’s not very sweet but whatever. Neither was the brownie. Sugar must be scarce. Stop making sweets then and try to pass them off as sweets!

“It’s good.” You say, holding up the jammed toast. “I’ll have to go thank her myself.” You say this but you do not mean it. You will thank her but mostly you’ll limp over there in your best sweat pants and your best t-shirt and you’ll eye up the competition. Because why is she giving your boyfriend jams and bread? This is all coming from nowhere, because you have been hospitalized, in a literal coma. She was probably just being nice but look at Joel! Look’it him! He’s handsome and he’s King Swinging Fuckin’ Big Dong and you can see it. Even when he’s not excited it just sits there in his jeans. You have to tell Joel to get less tight jeans! Oh no! There are other women with eyes around now and they can see it too and this terrifies you. You start to sweat.

“What are you fuckin’ thinkin’ about? Your eyes are movin’ ten million miles a minute, birdie.” Joel sounds concerned about you.

“Do you see Ava often?” You look at him now and take another bite of your toast which you now feel is suddenly too dry. Ava is the worst. Can’t bake for shit. The worst. Joel drops his chin to his chest and looks at you through his thick, beautiful eyelashes. “What!? I can’t ask questions?” You avoid his beautiful eyes now. They’re judging you.

“What if I did?” Joel asks suddenly. You almost drop your toast, you fumble it around between your hands for two seconds before you look at him.

“Do you?” How dare he tell you not to get ideas while potentially going out with your friend, but he gets to go over to Ava’s house whenever he wants? What was he doing with Ava while you were in the hospital?

“Maybe.” Joel smirks. “Why?” He’s enjoying this. Enjoy seeing you jealous over him. “She’s a baker. I like baked goods. So do you, apparently. She is also one of Ellie’s teachers at school.”

“Oh. Okay.” Is all you say. That’s it. Jealousy and anger and now sadness wash over you.

“Oh stop’it.” Joel bats at your hand gently. “She ain’t as fun as—”

“How would you know how much fun she is or isn’t!?” You exclaim, now tossing the piece of toast in your hand on the plate in front of Joel. “How would you even know that?” Joel is laughing.

“Someone is jealous. A jealous lil bird.” You give him the finger and rest your head on your fist. “Put that bird away before I punish you again. Did you forget our chat about bein’ disrespectful that one time, baby?” He leans in and gives you a lashed, chin-in-his-chest look. “I’ll give it to you this time cause I was eggin’ you on but don’t forget your place.”

“And what’s my place?” You look at him seriously. Joel sits up, slides the plate in front of him out of the way, folds his hands in front of himwhere the plate had been and looks at you just as seriously.

“Below me.” Joe is stern. Serious. Not bedroom talk. “You’re my woman. My bird. My slut. That’s my pussy. You. Are. Mine.” He’s growling at you. “You want to be here? You have a choice. I won’t hold you fuckin’ hostage. But if you stay, there’s gonna be rules and you’ll follow them.” His eyes are locked on to yours. “This ain’t no fun game out in the woods, Birdie. This is real life now.”

“What rules?” You ask, not taking your eyes off him either. Your heart is pounding in your chest. You swallow hard as Joel leans into the table.

“Whatever I say, Birdie.” He whispers. “I don’t ever want to hurt you. I like to bring you pleasure. I like making you happy. Seeing you smile.” He smirks at you and reaches for your hand with one of his hands. You don’t take it yet, he has more to say. “I’ll give you everything. A house. A husband. I’ll put a fuckin’ baby or two into you. You just gotta do as I say. Love me. Be a good mom. I’ll give you the whole fuckin’ world, babygirl. You just gotta follow the rules.” His hand on the table urges for yours softly. You place your hand in his because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Doesn’t want you to come for three days but that’s fine. “You saved me. I owe you my whole life, Bird.” His eyes soften and he squeezes your hand gently. You sigh before you respond to him, because he’s right. And so do you.

“I owe you mine.”

Joel made himself come twice into your open mouth before it was no longer just the two of you home alone. Jerking himself off with your help as he stood over you on the bed. You talked dirty up to him and touched his balls for him. The sound and faces he made...you've never gotten so wet before watching him do that to himself.

“It stinks in here; like a skunk.” Ellie wrinkles her nose as she walks into your room and sits on the bed next to you. “Did you shower today?” She teases and rests her head on your shoulder. You rest your head on hers.

“I did shower. It’s my medicine for my leg. Stinky. Gross.” You wrinkle your nose even though she can’t see you.

“Makes you fucking act weird.” She laughs softly. “You almost fell asleep in your soup last night. Laughing! You were laughing in your sleep too!” She is accusing. “Never seen any kind of medicine like that before.” She murmurs.

“Me either, kid. It’s all brand new to me. Do you have homework? You know Joel is going to get on you about it.” She leaves your bed for a moment and then grabs her book bag to bring back to you.

She does homework sprawled out on yours and Joel’s bed for the next hour while you watch her and answer questions she has about Old World History.

“No. Osama Bin Ladin. Sadam Hussein is a different guy. I think. Yeah, they’re different.” You point to something on a piece of paper she has. “I was there that day. The day the towers fell. My family had been in the city. We weren’t supposed to be but damn. It was fuckin’ crazy.” You whisper to her.

“Worse than the outbreak?” She looks over to you as you stare into space and remember something from so long ago that you haven’t thought of in so long.

“No. Just different.”

The night of the outbreak had been…chaotic to say the least. Your dad had been well armed and had already packed the car. After the first gunshot your dad said it was time to go. Couldn’t wait for your sister. You and your mom left a note on the counter in the kitchen in case she showed up and told her where you were going but you didn’t ever make it to your final destination. You had driven through the state of New York and into Ohio. You had planned on going to California because that's where your brother said things were looking good. Like they had things under control but once the gas ran out and you could no longer stop and get more… You had to walk.

Your mom died almost immediately. She had not been ready for all of this. She was scared and jumpy and couldn’t keep her big, New Jersey mouth shut. Ever. It felt like three minutes you were out of the car and she was gone. You and your dad walked, ran, survived together for so fucking long. You remember when Ellie asked if he was nice. He was not. He was mean. Didn’t understand why you couldn’t shoot a gun right away. Didn’t understand why you were scared. Pushed you around while you hiked through the Canadian wilderness. You crossed the border in Minnesota somewhere and then dropped back down into the states somewhere in Montana. You dad fell, stabbed himself in the leg with his own knife and died, septic while you sat by and watched, unable to help. You walked and walked for so fucking long. You had been traveling for twelve years. Camping in colonies peppered all over. You always move after a while though. Finally settled in Wyoming. Found this colony a while before Joel showed up but liked being on your own.

That wasn’t like the day the towers fell. Not even a little bit.

Ellie and you sat like that for another hour until Joel came in with dinner. You wanted to ask if he got that from Ava too, but with Ellie right here, you don’t. Ellie talks about her day at school while you all eat.

A game of Sorry! is played on the bed after dinner. You give Ellie a kiss on the cheek before she goes to bed.

You and Joel smoke the rest of the joint from earlier before he crawls into bed with you.

“Let Daddy suck your tits, baby girl.” He’s pushing your shirt up but you fight him softly.

“You’re not going to let me come, so why torture me?” You whine as he licks from your belly button up to your sternum.

“Cause I want to. Simple.” Joel forces your shirt up over your chest and takes the hard peak of your breast into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the bud quickly.

“Joel, it’s to—”

“What’d you call me?” He snaps his head up to look at you, his eyes focused on yours. It’s almost alarming. “You just call me by my name?”

“I’m s-sorry, Daddy.” You look down at him as he resumes his lapping and sucking of your tits.

“Talk dirty to me babygirl, like Daddy showed you earlier.” Joel says this with your nipple between his teeth. It makes you groan softly. This is the first time that he’s ever put his mouth on you like this. It’s fucking exhilarating You’ve never had a mans mouth on your nipples like this before. It feels so fucking incredible.

“Suck on my tits, Daddy. I like w-when you bite them.” You whimper softly as he bites down on the other nipple, now with a little more force at your words. He pulls his head back and lets your bud slip from within his teeth, they rake against your sensitive peak. It draws a whine from your throat.

“Fuckin’ Jesus. Keep fuckin’ talkin, baby.” Joel’s straddling your good thigh, thrusting against your skin, you can feel him again. His screaming hot length against your upper thigh. Something comes over you. You want to see if you can get him to forget punishment. Forget all about it like you forget things when you’re pleasure filled.

“I want you to fuck me, Daddy. I want your cock in every single one of my holes.” You whisper up into his ear. Joel grips your hip with one of his hands and looks down into your eyes.

“Don’t stop.” He murmurs softly, his hips thrusting faster now.

“Put it inside me, please. I’ll be a good girl.” You speak softly…innocently, up to him. Joel has to clench his eyes shut and press his forehead against yours. “Please, Daddy?” Joel lets out a guttural moan before he opens his eyes and looks down into yours. “Please. You can get me pregnant.” You whimper again, batting your eyelashes softly. He groans from deep in his chest.

“Fuuuck.” Joel rips his head away from yours and moves his other knee to between yours and throws your good leg up onto his shoulder and holds your ankle there as he places himself at your entrance while he strokes himself with his fist. “ You’re fuckin’ naughty. ” Joel growls as he pushes just his hips forward, driving himself into you quickly. It jolts you and suddenly…you have a flash of deja vu. This was in your dream you had the other night.

“Joel—” He puts his fingers into your mouth to quiet you.

“Don’t fuckin’ call me that in here- not in the bedroom. I’m your fuckin’ Daddy in here, do you understand me?” Joel is harsh with you as he continues to thrust into you vigorously. “Suck.” He coos now, down to you as you wrap your lips around his fingers, swirling your tongue. “Good fuckin’ Princess.” He grips your ankle tighter as he fucks you.

You’re walking this threshold of being scared and also very turned on. You think you’re in love with Joel. You don’t know why. Something about being with him all the time and how good he is to you outweighs the fear of the things he says and does to you in the bedroom because he’s not really ever hurting you. Never. If he did it was always consensual and it ended when you spoke up about it. You don’t think that is his ever his intention.

But something about all of this, being high and so fucked up while he touches you…feels good but it doesn’t necessarily feel nice. It feels like you’re being…used. Or taken advantage of! That's it! Taken advantage of in your high state. Even though you begged for this- were you really the one begging for it? You’re so high you don’t fucking know and the weed makes you so paranoid. So fearful for some reason…but you had been afraid in the hospital too. Everything was so confusing and maybe you just wouldn't smoke anymore weed. You’d just be in pain but clear headed from now on.

“Fuck baby girl. Yes. Let Daddy come inside you.” Joel groans loudly. You feel his cock twinge inside of you. This orgasm is long and he moans and thrusts himself inside of you the entire time. You feel like he comes forever. Where does he get it all?

He came while you were lost in thought! You hadn’t even been focused on coming! Jesus Christ. Your own plan— foiled with dumb thoughts!

“And she followed her punishment. Good fuckin’ girl.” He growls, kissing your forehead before withdrawing from you with the squelch-iest wet noise you’ve ever heard come from between your legs. It even grabs Joel’s attention and his eyes fall to your middle as he crawls out of bed. “Fuckin’ shop vac. It’s a vacuum. A wet one.” Joel smirks down at you. This makes you smile because you like when he compliments you. A lot. You love praise and being called a good girl and a princess and a fuckin’ filthy slut. You do love it. But… you still feel so uneasy with him right now.

Joel walks into the bathroom, comes back with a cloth and is wiping himself down. Then he wipes you down while kissing your forehead.

“You can come tomorrow. I was harsh. I like when you come with me.” Joel walks back into the bathroom before you can say anything. You’re left alone feeling frustrated and annoyed and horny still. High as fucking shit right now too.

“Water. Please.” You croak out before he can leave the bathroom. He brings you back a glass and holds it out. His flaccid cock is still so god damned big- it's literally swinging between his legs. It’s still awe inducing even not throbbing. Joel sees you looking and covers it with one hand.

“Always starin’ at it. You make me self conscious.” He teases as you take the water from him.

“It’s fuckin’ perfect.” You say after taking a sip. “And all mine.” You flick your eyes up to him. “I mean it. Mine.” Joel smiles now, a big wide one and leans in. "That big dick is mine."

“That’s it baby. Claim me. What else?” You've awakened something within Joel. You can see it flash behind his eyes.

“I’ll knock that fuckin’ Ava bitch and you both the fuck out if I ever find out something happened or happens between you two. Understand me?” You lean in and kiss his lips. He nods. Big happy nods of understanding. “Good. Get into bed with me.” You demand it from him.

“Jesus H Christ. Who the fuck is this? I love her! God damn,” He crawls into bed excitedly and pulls you into him after you set the water on the night stand. “I’m all turned on again. Keep going.” Joel is giggling. Like a little kid. It makes you laugh and sink down into the mattress with him.

“Nothin’ happened while I was in the hospital, right? Between you and Ava?” Joel gives you a look of shock.

“Baby. I would never. I promise. I’m not that kinda guy. You’re my ol’lady. You and you alone.” He kisses your lips softly. This eases fears and worries in your heart. “I’m yours and only yours.” Joel lays you back down onto the bed with him. “What’ll calm your mind, Birdie?” He whispers softly.

“I’m fine. I mean it. Just a lil jealous.” You whisper against his parted lips. “Mine.” You nip at his bottom lip and now he smiles.

“Soon as you’re good enough to walk…” He whispers. You give him a confused look. He says nothing and just smiles.

What does that mean? He’s going to fuck you into oblivion? Fine with you. He doesn't respond.

Joel holds you close to him until the both of you fall asleep.

You sit with Ellie in the kitchen, helping her with her math homework. She’s stuck and you are no help to her. It’s the worst. Joel comes in with more of Ava’s bread and her nasty jam. It’s not nasty it’s good but you dislike Ava. You watch as Joel helps her much more easily than you could and it makes you feel dumb. You should know these things like Joel does but your education was stolen from you and these things you had barely learned were pushed out of your head with things like how to shoot and how to skin animals and how to know what direction you’re going in without a compass.

Joel kisses Ellie's forehead when she’s done and you all sit at the table and look at each other quietly.

“There’s a boy at school. Real fuckin’ dick.” Ellie says over a mouthful of bread. It makes both Joel and yourself chuckle.

“What’s he do?” You ask, taking a bite of your own bread. She shakes her head and sighs.

“Trips me in the halls. Calls me Smelly Ellie. He likes the girl I like.” She rolls her eyes and this makes you hold back a smirk. “Jerk-off.” Now you laugh.

“How do you know he doesn’t like you?” Joel asks and you wrinkle your nose.

“Ew. No. Boys or girls who like you, Ellie, will not be mean to you. They might tease you a lil, try and make you smile! It wont be mean! And they won’t call you names…” You look at Ellie and she’s hanging on your words. “..they’ll be nice to you. Call you sweet things and make you feel good. Don’t let mean people trick you into thinking they’re nice.” Your eyes flick up to Joel’s, he’s looking right at you. Big dark eyes staring right into yours like he had been waiting for you to look at him. You look back to Ellie quickly. “You’ll know when someone likes you, babe.” You reach out and rub your hand against hers.

Bedtime.

Life is boring when you can’t fuckin’ do shit. Jesus. Can’t leave the house. Can’t walk up or down the stairs yet. Boring.

Joel hands you a joint. You shake your head from side to side.

“I don’t know. I feel weird when I’m high.” You look up at him but he urges you to take it. This makes you feel uneasy again. Why does he want you to be high so badly.

“Baby, it’s gonna help. It’s been helpin’ right? He gives you sympathetic eyes.

“I have weird dreams and I don’t think straight when I smoke that. Or eat those brownies.” You look up at him, trying to make him put it away with your eyes. He does not. He lights it, puffs on it twice and hands it to you.

“Smoke it, baby. You get so giggly. It helps. You're so fun, too.” You take it from him as he speaks, looking at him caution in your eyes. “Stop lookin’ at me like that. Smoke it.” Joel nods his chin up at you. You hit it a couple times and hand it back to him. “Good girl.” It makes your stomach flutter when he calls you that.

“You gonna make me laugh tonight?” You look up at him and suck on your bottom lip gently. He nods at you slowly as he puffs on the joint with you. “Oh yeah? Mr. Big Carpenter guy has jokes?” He smirks at you and passes the joint back.

“Whatever it takes to make you laugh the way you did when I whooped your ass that one night. Cryin, snortin’ or whatever that sound was.” Joel chuckles at the memory. You laugh too now because you remember him sounding so downtrodden in the dark that he didn’t make you come. Then he whooped you with an old TV cable, and you liked it, dirty birdie. “C’mon. Get up.” Joel helps you out of bed. He stands in front of you and holds one of your hands up in his, near both of yours shoulders and the other on your waist. “Put’it up here.” Joel elbows your limp lazy hand at your side and nods to his shoulder. You do and then he sways you gently from side to side.

Joel is slow dancing with you in your bedroom and it’s so fucking cute. Who is this man?

“You wanted to dance with me?” You ask softly, looking up at him. His eyebrows flick up once and he nods, pressing his lips to your forehead. You never got to slow dance with anyone. You hadn't gone to prom yet. Hadn't been to a single school dance because your dad always said no. Now Joel was fulfilling a long lost dream of yours.

“Sure did, sweetness. Love being close to you.” Joel makes sure to not sway you to far on your bad leg but he does that and slowly, very slowly moves you around the bedroom. Sometimes he hums to you, other times he’s just kissing you gently. “I’m gonna marry you.” He whispers gently in between kisses. “I will.” Joel dances you slowly back to bed as you stare up at him with hooded, bloodshot eyes again.

“Really?” It’s been several minutes since he said that and he had since taken off his clothes except for his boxers and crawled into bed next to you. Joel nods and sighs softly.

“Unless you don’t wanna. I want to. I want to marry you. Give you my last name. Give Ellie my last name if she wants it. Be a family. A real one. You can give her a sibling or two. Stay here forever with me?” Joel looks over at you with big, brown eyes and a small smile. You nod at him sleepily.

“Yes. Forever.” You whisper up to him as he now rolls onto his side to look down at you.

“You’ll be mine…forever?” He whispers softly. You nod up at him. He raises his eyebrow and gives you a knowing look. “You know better than that, Princess. Use your words.”

“I’ll be yours. Forever, Daddy.” You look up at him and now Joel is the one sucking on his bottom lip; the words you just said gave him some sort of satisfaction. He loved it. He leans down and whispers in your ear. It tickles and makes you giggle in your influenced state. You feel weightless right now and his words do nothing to help that dizzy feeling inside of you.

“I love you, baby girl.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

What the fuck happened last night? It definitely was not a dream. Not at all. It felt like one though. You’re up before Joel again and everything inside of you is telling him to wake his ass up and talk about what happened because you two just officially started dating. You thought you’d do that for a while before he proposed! And then you guys had sex! It was good sex but…you didn’t have sex. That part was a dream. For sure. You were on punishment. Who knows? You’re too worried about Joel proposing to also worry about dreams you have when you’re higher than the fucking Eifflel Tower! If that’s even what he did last night–propose! You don’t fucking remember! This is so scary. What the fuck is going on? You purposefully stir next to Joel with some oomph so he wakes up. It works.

“Mornin’.” He grumbles. His deep sleep filled voice gives you butterflies. You forgot what you were going to say. “Pretty.” He murmurs before closing his eyes again and touching your belly gently. His tongue touched just behind his slightly parted lips and now all you want to do is kiss him but you don’t! You remember why you woke him up.

“Did you propose to me last night?” You’re eyeing him suspiciously. Joel’s eyes snap open and they look at you curiously.

“More– more like a promise. I don’t even— we didn’t— You don’t got a ring on your finger yet. Slow down.” Joel takes his rough calloused hand and tries to closes your eyes gently and pushes your head back to the pillows. “Go back to bed. Damn. Actin’ like we still gotta run somewhere. Where we runnin’ to? Back to bed. That’s where. Close your damn eyes, woman.” He grumbles into your ear sleepily.

A huge sigh of relief comes over you because yes. That was fine. A promise. You could make promises. You can keep a promise too.

Your leg healed a lot while you were in a coma. It wasn’t a serious gunshot wound. It didn’t hit any bones or any major arteries. It did go deep into your muscle though and the doctors and nurses had taken it out. The stitches came out while you were unconscious. Now, you just have to get your body back to the way it was before.

Within three days you were up, limping around the house with Joel when he was home. It was wet and rainy today so he was off and following you around with his hands on your ass. Being silly. Sweet. Goofy. It was fun. He was so different now than he was before and out on the road.

“Cheeks for fuckin’ days. Lemme put my face between ‘em. C’mon, lean right on the counter.” Joel teases as he grips your ass in his hands and jiggles it gently. He hasn’t touched it in almost seven weeks. He missed it.

“Leave me alone you horny animal. Are you in rut?” You chuckle at him as you do some dishes. It felt good to get back to the normal flow of a regular life. Dinner was on the woodstove. You cooked today and wanted to have food almost ready for when Ellie got home from studying with her friends.

“For you? Yes.” He leans in and kisses your shoulder gently through your sweater. “Only you.” Now he presses his hips against yours from the back. “Love giving you this hard cock.”

“Joel!” You swat him away from you. You are sore. You had wanted to wait a couple days to get your leg back in normal, working order but he couldn’t wait. You kinda couldn’t wait either. Things just happened. Almost every night except your first night home from the hospital when you ate that brownie and the other night when you slow danced.

“Okay! I’m sorry I can’t help it. You’re too fuckin’ sexy and I missed you .” He coos the last part into your ear. It makes you shiver.

“Missed me. Ha! You’ve had me almost every night, Mister.” You push your hips back against his gently but his hands shoot to your waist and hold you there. He grinds against you, up and down, roughly. You can feel his length through his jeans and he’s exhaling so hard through his nose every time he moves his hips like it feels so good.

The front door opens and you both hear Ellie’s heavy, running footsteps into the kitchen. You have never seen Joel move so fast out of a room in your life. He’s down the hallway before Ellie can run in and see him in his aroused state. You both hear the bathroom door close loudly from down the hall. You chuckle.

“He must’a had to go real bad. I heard him running to the bathroom. Jeez.” Ellie hugs you tight. Not a day has gone by since you’ve been home that she doesn’t hug you first thing when she gets home from school. In the mornings…different story. She’s grumpy. You give her breakfast and talk to her as little as you can because she’s frightening. Not fun.

“Yeah he was just telling me how bad he had to go.” You lie and kiss the top of her head. “Missed you at school. Glad tomorrow is Saturday. We can walk around town together if it’s not too wet.” She looks up at you, arms still around your waist and nods happily.

“Yes please. Yes. Yes. I want to show you all the cool stuff and where me and my friends have been hanging out and everything!” She is so excited. And literally the most perfect child. You and Joel did the right thing. You’re so glad you didn’t go back to Jackson after the argument with Joel in the driveway after she had been taken.

“I love you.” It comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. Her arms drop and she looks at you with wide eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t m—” Before you can finish she hugs you tighter, squeezes you and presses her head into your shoulder. She doesn’t say it back. That’s okay. But you’re glad she knows how much you care for her. Almost died for her, would have– easily.

“You’re the best. I’m glad Joel brought you with us. I wasn’t at first but…I’m glad you came. Glad you said yes to him.” She looks up at you now, with her own big brown eyes and smiles. “I really am. You’re gonna make a great mom.” Her smile softens drastically but it’s still there and she hugs you tight, resting her head on your shoulder again.

You are speechless. You just hold her one arm against your waist and smile.

“I have homework to do. Do you think you could help me?” She asks as she pulls away from you. You’re now peeling potatoes into the sink for dinner.

“Can you ask Joel when he comes out of the bathroom? Go wash. Change. Stop stinkin’ the place up and maybe we can all work on it together before dinner is done.” She nods and runs upstairs with her book bag.

Joel comes out of the bathroom a couple minutes later and checks if the coast is clear.

“Wanna know what I did just now?” Joel whispers into your ear, his tongue teases your earlobe when he's finished speaking. You look over your shoulder at him with an eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know…do I?” You ask with a lip curled in distaste. Joel nods at you slowly. “Okay. Tell me. Weirdo.”

“I sucked on a pair of ya' panties and jerked off into another pair. Covered them in my fuckin’ come. You taste so fucking good, lil' girl.” He growls it lowly into your ear and you drop the potato you have in your hand.

“You sucked on my panties?” You blink at him. He nods and does the little flick of his eyebrow. His tongue dances slowly behind his lips. You fucking love when he does that. You can see just the tip of it behind his teeth and his slightly parted mouth. Fuck. Joel is so hot. You do kiss him now, quickly.

“Do you like that?” He gives you his big beautiful, brown eyed look he’s so fucking good at. You do like it. It made your fucking pussy twinge when he said that. Unsure as to why it turns you on so much. You nod.

“Next time jerk off into the panties I have on. Make me wear it.” You said it like it’s a challenge for him. Joel nearly falls over. Actually has to grab onto the counter and hold onto it because his knees buckle. “Are you okay, old man? What happened?” You tease him.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ. That’s so hot. I’m gon' pass away.” Joel covers his eyes with the hand that isn’t supporting him. He makes you laugh. A real laugh and you like that. “Yer' bad. A real bad girl.”

“What’d she do?” Ellie asks, her once loud footsteps are now silent because she doesn’t have her big clunky shoes on. Joel’s head whips to her and he points with his index finger. She gets ready to run.

“She’s bein’ too nice to you. That’s what. Where’s your homework?” Ellie takes off and Joel takes off after her, quickly. It makes your apron sway in the gust of wind he created when he ran away. She took off back up the stairs. Joel followed, he took the stairs two at a time behind her. “Jesus Ellie, it’s fuckin' disgusting up here. We’ve been here for two months. How did it get so messy? Where did y'even get all these clothes? Whose stuff is this?”

It’s all muffled because they’re upstairs but you hear his dismayed voice at her messiness. Neither one of you goes upstairs. There isn't a reason to. But now you’ll have to start checking.

“Bring all your dirty laundry down! I’ll wash it all tomorrow!” You shout at them from your place at the sink. You throw all your taters in a pot and add water. Mashed potatoes, stew and bread. Perfect. You bake bread now. Ava can eat her bread and your family will eat your bread, thankyouverymuch,Ava.”

Ellie runs back downstairs with Joel right behind her.

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” She laughs as she runs and tucks herself into the corner of the counter beside you. Joel places either hand on the counter beside her.

“Y'stop running...I’ll stop chasing.” He quickly grabs at her side to tickle her and she flinches and scream softly. “Stop screamin’.” He does it on her other side. She laughs so hard and fights him off. “It’s not that funny.” Now he gets her on both sides and she’s nearly on the floor with laughter.

“He’s ticklish too, ya know.” You whisper down to Ellie over her laughter. Joel shoots you a narrowed eye look and Ellie’s hands move to his side with more speed than you could ever imagine and now Joel is the one giggling, trying to fight off her quick little hands.

“He– hey. Sto– Ellie. Stop.” Joel is laughing like you’ve never heard him laugh before and this is everything you could have ever imagined your life to be. Perfect. Laughter in the house. Food on the stove. Happy family to wake up to every morning. What are you so scared of?

Ellie and you walk arm in arm around town slowly. She knows everyone. They’re all so nice. It’s so weird. You hate it. You’re used to people trying to kill you. Makes you uneasy at everyones niceness. Ellie shows you all the things– it’s not much but it does resemble a town– a movie theater, a jail, a town hall. There is her school, the house of worship and you knew the medical center already. This was nice. The town hall was new and there wasn’t anything inside of it. No mayor would be elected. Just there in case meetings or other important events needed to take place, there would be a spot for it.

“That's her house.” Ellie whispers softly as you pass a light blue house with two stories. It looks exactly like yours but your house is dark gray. You love it. It’s like storm clouds. Thunder. “Her name is Dina.” She whispers so low that you have to strain to hear her actual name. You don’t even really hear it but you know better than to ask right in front of her house.

Ellie had to bring you that way to get back home. Everything in a giant circle basically and so she just took you around the whole colony. This was just a convenient trip to her loves home. A desperate attempt at a glimpse or maybe even a hello if Dina had been outside. But she hadn’t been and Ellie didn't see her.

“You’ll see her Monday.” You whisper, well enough distance to be out of earshot but you still whisper, just in case. “Have you walked her home yet?” You don’t whisper this part and Ellie nearly dies right on the sidewalk. Hands on your arm and she almost falls down dramatically.

“Oh my God. Stop. Don’t talk so loud.” She’s red in the face and looking around to see if anyone is outside. “She lives right there, oh my God.” You could tell she could pass away from embarrassment right now. “No. I get too nervous every time I try.” She whispers harshly at you.

“Okokokok. Sorry. I thought we were far enough away.” You wrap your arm around her neck. It’s just you and her today. Joel is working on getting your backyard ready. Cleaning up bullshit that had been in the house before, fixing the deck. Building a fire pit. Making the house a real home.

“Did you mean what you said yesterday?” Ellie looks up at you and her eyes scan your face as you nod down to her. “Why?” You have to think about what to tell her… not what but how. It takes you a minute as you look down at the sidewalk below your feet. Her eyes never leave the side of your face.

“This is gonna be weird. Kinda hard for me maybe, okay?” She nods up at you, eyes softening tremendously as they look into yours. “I’ve always wanted a kid of my own. I thought that opportunity got taken away from me when this outbreak happened. I never thought…I never expected to have a child dropped into my lap when I least expected it.” You smile now while she listens, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly. “I know that I am not your mom. I’ll never try to be, unless you want me to. But I’m excited that I get to watch you grow. That I get to help you. Protect you. I didn’t know if I’d get the chance when Joel was trying to get us out of that hospital. If I ever do have my own kid someday, you’ll always be my first baby.” You lean down and kiss her on the top of the head with a loud smack. “Always.” You kiss the top of her head ten million times and she’s laughing.

“I like it. I like that you–you know…wanna…take care of me.” She looks up at you now with her big brown eyes that look like Joel’s somehow. “I didn’t get taken care of before this. Just raised. Barely.” Ellie’s voice is steady and she’s confident in herself. You’re a mess. About to sob and fall down on the sidewalk and roll around crying because you love her so much. “You and Joel are good at it." She hesitates for a moment and then speaks again, quietly. "This is what a family feels like?” She asks, so innocently and so genuinely that it actually hurts your heart. She doesn’t know or have anything to compare it to.

“I think so. My family wasn’t like this.” You both stop walking and she looks up at you with confusion in her big brown eyes. “My dad was an asshole. Mean. Nasty. Spoke badly to me and my mom and sister. He didn’t respect us.” Ellie’s eyes are sad now. Big and sad.

“Why?” She asks curiously. You shrug.

“I dunno. Just was. Always was. I was scared to come home from school most days, cause I didn’t wanna get screamed at for nothin’.” You start walking her back towards home. “I’m telling you this because I don’t ever want you to take Joel for granted. He and I are always just trying to keep you safe. Don’t ever hate us for that, okay?” She nods up at you but you don’t know if she really understands. Having parents isn’t always fun.

When you get home Joel is waiting for you guys but he wants to talk to you. You can tell. It’s written all over his face.

“My girls.” Joel smiles through his worried eyes and slaps Ellie up like they’re best friends. You shake your head. “It’s Saturday. Chores. Make lunch. Then we’ll eat and you can go do whatever it is you do up in your room. Clean it this time , maybe. Something.” Joel pushes her into the kitchen. “I gotta take Bird for another walk. We’ll be back.”

“My leg aches.” You whine once you get outside. You didn’t wanna fight with him inside in front of Ellie, because he was basically waiting for you at the door.

“I know, baby. I know. I brought this for us.” Joel holds a joint up and lights it as you walk towards the driveway and back down to the sidewalk. Joel puffs on the joint for a while and you watch him from the corner of your eye.

“So you just smoke my medicine like it’s recreational?” You tease, you don’t really mind. It’s a fun thing you do together; that makes you fearful of him and also paranoid and you forgot how to swallow and breathe that one time, but it’s fun.

“Here, baby.” Joel holds the joint to your lips so you can keep your hands in your pockets. You puff twice, too big, cough and choke for a minute. You have to stop and bend at the waist and you almost throw up. “Ok. Not that much. Cheech and Chong over here.” He laughs as he pats your back.

“I’m Cheech Marin. I’m one hundred percent Cheech.” You wheeze and pant as you stand up straight. Joel belly laughs when you say this. You look up at him red-faced and teary eyed.

“Sure are, babe.” You walk like that until you get to the park just outside of the medical center. It’s just a small playground but there is a bench and you guys sit. “What’d you and Ellie talk about today?” He asks nervously. You give him a suspicious look.

“Why? You don’t want her to tell me something?” You take the joint from Joel and hit it very carefully because your lungs feel like raisins. Joel is hiding something. What is it?

“Did she ask you about what happened at the hospital? Do you even remember? ” He asks, taking your free hand. You nod slowly. Neither one of you talked about it at all yet. “I didn’t tell her the truth.” Joel tells you this freely.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell her that Marlene did that to her?” You get a little angry but you kinda think you know where Joel is coming from. “Ugh. Nevermind. I know. What did you tell her?”

“They did the tests. Those doctors stopped looking for a cure.” Joel gives you big brown eyes again. Always. “I said raiders attacked. I told her Marlene didn’t make it.”

“Did she make it? I don’t…” You trail off because you had basically already lost almost all of the blood inside of you at that point. The whole elevator ride down to the parking garage was a little fuzzy and gray. Hard to remember exactly what was said and what happened. Joel shakes his head.

“I told Ellie that the raiders got Marlene.” Joel whispers softly. “I killed her, though. I was going to let her go but then she went for the car. She went for you and Ellie. I shot her.” Joel sighs it out like he had been needing to tell someone. You press your free hand to the side of his face. The joint has gone out. Neither one of you need anymore. Looking at each other with red, squinting eyes. In public! “I told her that there were a lot more people like her. That they didn’t need her anymore so we could all go home.”

“And that’s what you want me to tell her if she ever asks?” You look into those big eyes and get lost in them.

“That. You could say you don’t remember. I just don’t want her to hate us for taking away her choice.” Joel looks like he could cry.

“We gave her a choice, Joel. I told her what could happen, in front of the RV that day you found the game. I warned her of what might happen. She had a choice and she made it. Those doctors lied to her. We didn’t lie. I understand why you did and I respect you and I won’t tell her but don’t feel guilty, baby. You did the right thing. We did the right thing.” Joel nods his head quickly and leans into your hand.

“Thank you. I didn’t even think of it until you and her went off on your own today. I thought for sure she was going to pry you for info.” Joel smiles know.

“Can I ask you something?” You’re nervous. You’re going to tell Joel about your paranoia and fears and it’s making your legs shiver and tense up.

“Anything.”

“Why do you treat me like that…in the bedroom? You’re so… aggressive all the time. You speak down to me. Even at the table the other day you said I was below you.” You speak fast because you’re scared. Holy shit you’re so scared. Joel’s eyes haven’t left yours. “It makes me nervous. It makes me feel like… your property. I’m supposed to be your girlfriend. ”

Joel’s eyes soften immediately and he holds your face in his hands now.

“I thought… I thought you liked that?” Joel looks at you confused. “We haven’t done anything we didn’t do back in the cabin besides the dirty talk. We did that too, it’s just different.” Joel shrugs his shoulders.

“And the being below you comment? The punishment ?” You’re confused. Just as confused as he is, apparently.

“Did you not like being punished? On the road? I thought that was like, something we’re exploring.” Joel has his hand on your good leg and is squeezing gently. “I don’t understand. When I told you I would be gentle with you, you basically told me to scram.” Joel chuckles nervously.

What the shit? Is he right?

“What about my dream the other night? I don’t think it was a high brownie dream…I think you fucked me. Without my permission.”

“You gave me permission ten thousand times! I asked so many times!” Joel exclaims, holding both hands out to you like he’s showing you off to someone who isn’t there. “Then you wake up talkin’ about it’s a dream and start callin’ me daddy again—”

“I didn’t call you daddy. I said in my dream you told me to call you daddy–” You’re leering at him and he’s leering right back at you.

“You called me that shit first! I didn’t like it the first time you said it but you kept moaning it over and over and I got rock fuckin’ hard eatin’ your pussy while you called me daddy. I was ashamed !” Joel is mad at you now. “You’re right. You shouldn’t smoke anymore weed. Accusing me of what— raping you?” Joel stands up from the bench. “I like it rough. I like to dominate the hell out of you and talk real dirty to you in the bedroom. I’d never do that , though, Jesus. If I thought you didn’t want it I’d never take it from you—get outta here.” Joel waves his hand at you dismissively.

“The below you comment?” You’re unwavering, even with his behavior. Joel snorts and shoves his hands into his jacket pocket.

“I’m sorry. I was an ass for that. I’m hot headed sometimes.” Joel kicks at the ground with his boot. “Shit, s’why I was a single dad.” Joel’s eyes meet yours for a moment but then he looks away. “I am sorry. I get carried away.”

“I didn’t like it. I’ve been terrified at night because I don’t know what’s real and what’s a dream. That comment didn’t ease any anxiety I had.” You huff softly when you’re done talking because now you are confused if this is all something your weird, blood denied and weed filled brain came up with. You do not know.

“Terrified? Of me? Like I’m the boogie man?” Joel kicks at the ground again. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you or hurt you. Nothin’ like that.” Joel walks back to you now and sits where he had been before. “Don’t want you scared of me. Ever. I wanna be your husband one day. Not someone you think you’re forced to be with. If you think that, tell me.”

“I don’t feel forced. I just want you to respect me. Treat me good. I think I just had time before, when we didn’t see each other in between— but when someone calls you stupid and a slut every fucking day even if it’s sexy…I don’t know. Maybe I’m starting to believe I’m only good for one thing.” Words you didn’t even know to be true are coming out of your mouth but those words sounded productive to your stoned ears.

“Bird. Look’it me.” Joel’s stern voice pulls your eyes from the grass in front of you. He’s staring at you. “ Smartest , most incredibly strong woman I ever met. I mean it. You blew me away on the road. Every single day. You still do.” Joel grabs both of your hands in his. “Ellie made me want to be a parent again. You make me wanna have another baby. I want a family with both of you and being safe here, in Jackson— it just makes sense.” Joel squeezes your hands now. “I see Tommy and Maria getting their house ready for their kid and, I dunno. There is that extra bedroom upstairs .”

You want kids. You want ‘em bad. You’ve been thinking about it since Joel said it at the table that same day he said you were below him. Neither of those things have left your brain.

“You’re serious?” You ask him, dropping your eyes to your lap because this sucks. Your brain is still telling you something is not right. “I’d wanna wait.”

“Lil’ late for that, Bird. We been tryin’ since basically you got home. Started on the road, really. Stopped thinking with my big brain.” Joel taps his head with his finger. Your heart starts to race in your chest because he is not wrong. He’s come inside you almost everyday.

“Stop. Don’t do it again until I’m really ready. I don’t think it’ll take me long. I jus— I need to wrap my head around that.” You’re sweating even in the cool spring air. “I mean it. Pull out for a while.” You’re looking up at Joel now and he must see the fear in your eyes because he pulls you in for a big hug. A good hug. It makes you feel safe.

“Whatever you need, Bird. I’ll do anything to make you happy. I mean it.”

Joel walks home with you hand in hand, right past Ava’s house so if she is home and watching get a good look, lady! He’s taken! Him and his big ole weiner! You don’t know why you’re so nervous about Ava. She just gives him bread and jam. Soon you’ll know how to make jam too and you and Joel and Ellie will need nothing from her but her schooling. That’s it.

Ellie had cleaned the house a little and made sandwiches for lunch. Which were actually not bad. You liked that they had fresh meat and veggies at the little market down in the town. Joel picked up some turkey there and it’s actually better than you ever remember turkey being.

“Do you pay for any of this stuff? How do you even do that?” You look at Joel after taking a bite of your sandwich. He shakes his head.

“It’s all communal. Everyone gets a share of everything unless they don’t want it.” Joel starts to explain and Ellie pipes in.

“Like Miss. Ava is a vegetarian so she gave her share to him this week.” Ellie nods her head at Joel. You raise an eyebrow at Ellie and do not meet Joel’s staring eyes. They’re boring holes in the side of your face.

“How nice of Miss. Ava.” You go back to your sandwich and look out the window. The ceiling is so nice. And so is this beautiful table. Wow. Holy smokes, the floors are incredible. Joel clears his throat but you still don’t look at him. You look at Ellie again and admire her cheek bones and nice nose. Joel clears his throat again, louder and Ellie looks at him, sees him staring at you and then looks at you, staring at her.

“What is going on?” She asks innocently. You shake your head and look down at your plate.

“Nothing. I was just thinkin’ about how pretty you are.” You smile, looking up at her again. “Do you have a lot of kids at your school?” You ask curiously, you never have asked before.

“There are thirteen of us teenagers. The oldest is seventeen. The youngest is twelve. There are a lot of younger kids though. Younger than ten I think. They’re on a different level of the school.” You’re so interested. You can see Joel still looking at you out of the corner of your eye.

“Do you guys all ever see each other or do they keep you separate all day? You know, from the littler kids.” Ellie nods as she swallows a bite of her sandwich.

“We all get lunch at the same time. The little kids are pretty cute. ‘Cept when they cry. Then they’re annoying.” She takes another bite.

You do look at Joel now and he’s got his big brown eyes on the apology setting. You eat the rest of your lunch in silence and when everyone is done Ellie clears the table and brings everything into the kitchen and washes up. Joel leans in and puts his elbows on the table.

“It’s not whatever you’re thinkin’.” Joel whispers. You shrug.

“Does she even know about me?” You ask just as quietly as he had spoken. Joel nods enthusiastically.

“Of course. We talk about you all the time.” He motions to himself and Ellie in the kitchen. “Stop bein’ jealous. Ain’t nothin’ to be jealous of. I’m yours, baby. All of me. I promise.” Joel gets up from his chair and walks to you at the other end, kissing the top of your head. “Do you wanna get out of the house again? We can go do something? Go to the bar?” Joel grips your chin and makes you look up at him. You shake your head no.

“I’m tired. Leg hurts. I think I need a nap.” Joel leans down and kisses your lips when you’re done speaking.

“Do you want to take a cold shower together— a gentle one– and then we can nap?” Joel looks down into your eyes as he rests his forehead on yours. “A nice one. I’ll wash you. Kiss you real nice. Won’t touch you funny or nothing. Just be gentle.” The words are whispered against your lips and you do want a cold shower with Joel. Real bad. A gentle one.

You stand up as he’s kissing you and his tongue teases your bottom lip as he pulls away. Joel’s hand finds yours and he’s gently pulling you into the kitchen, he calls to Ellie as she finishes the dishes.

“Hey, she’s gonna nap. I’m showering. Prolly gonna nap too. Stay home.You can go with your friends tomorrow, okay?” Joel pauses with you at his side. Ellie nods and wipes her hands on her jeans. “Maybe go clean your room.” Joel eyes her and points a finger. Ellie rolls her eyes and heads upstairs. Joel watches, making sure she goes up there and once her door shuts, Joel leads you to the bedroom and into your attached bathroom.

“I love you.” Joel’s whispering against your lips as he unbuttons the flannel shirt you have on. “I do. It breaks my heart that you’re scared of me.” He pushes the shirt off your shoulders and down your arms. “Don’t be scared, baby girl.” His hands are working on the buttons of your jeans and he's pushing them down your thighs carefully. “My lil bird, scared. Frightened.” He’s kissing you while speaking, desperately . Gently, yes. But it’s like he cannot get enough of you.

You lean against the wall as Joel undresses quickly in front of you, unbuttoning his own flannel shirt quickly. You watch but you’re getting nervous for the shower. It’s so cold but when he pushes his pants down and he swings freely between his legs you forget all fears of the shower and wonder how he gets that thing inside of you.

“Starin’ at it!” Joel covers it with one hand. “Stop it.” He holds the other hand over what the first hand doesn’t cover.

“How can I not! Look’it the thing. Jesus. It’s huge.” You have never really seen Joel’s flaccid dick this much before. It was always hard and big, yes, but it’s big when it’s soft too! What the hell!? “That thing really does make me stupid, holy shit.” You give him a big, stupid smile and he laughs at you and kisses your forehead.

“I don’t think you're stupid. I don’t. Really.” Joel feels bad. You can hear it in his voice.

“Hey, I like it. Sometimes. Every four days I like it. Everyday is too much. I’m sorry.” You look up at him as he starts the shower.

“Don’t be sorry, Bird.” He steps in immediately because it’s not going to warm up. Joel doesn’t even react. “I’m sorry. We should have talked more. I’m just aggressive. With everything. ‘Specially you. I’ll be better.” Joel holds his hand out for you to take so he can help you in.

Joel holds you under the cold water, despite your giggling protests so that you can get used to it. He giggles with you and kisses your lips softly as the water stops being freezing and just is cold now. Once nice and wet, Joel wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to him.

“Sorry for accusing you of anything. My brain’s been all foggy. Weird this last week.” You apologize to his chest because you do feel bad. This good man wouldn’t hurt you. You can tell in his touches.

“Bird, stop apologizing. I never should have assumed you were good to sleep with when you were high. I fucked up. That was wrong of me and I won’t do it again. I won’t do nothin’ you don’t wanna do, okay baby girl?”

Joel plants gentle kisses across your collarbones and shoulders. He turns you and kisses every inch of your back. Doesn’t miss a spot as his hands move up and down your sides and front as he does it. His hands and lips never stray past your waist or to your chest. His tongue dips out and tastes your skin sometimes, and his warm breath is inviting on your cool flesh. You rest your forehead on the wall of the shower as he kisses across the small of your back. His hands grip your lower stomach gently like he worships the little extra flesh you carry there. He does. He holds onto it and pushes you back against his mouth as he kisses and nips up your spine.

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He whispers in your ear as he stands up behind you. You can feel his erection pressed into you from behind but he doesn’t try or do anything with it. It’s just pressed against your ass as he grabs a bar of soap. He washes you gently. So carefully. Joel washes your hair and kisses along your neck after he rinses you. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers into your ear. “So sorry.” His deep voice travels slowly in your ear canal as he shuts the water off. “C’mon. Let’s go nap, tired bird.” Joel dries you off and gets you into a long t-shirt to sleep in.

“I’m sorry. I feel like I made a big deal out of nothing.” You whisper into his chest as he wraps you up in his arms. “I love you, too. I do. You’re very good to me. You took good care of me. Saved my life.” You’re teeth are chittering because you’re so cold but he presses his already warm body against yours tightly, feelings your body shivering against his.

“It is a big deal. Your happiness and your safety are my biggest concerns. If you don’t feel neither of those things then I’m doin’ something wrong.” Joel sighs and rests his chin on the top of your head. “I’m bad at this. Bein’ a boyfriend. A husband. Been single for so fuckin’ long.” He sighs again and runs his fingers across your back. “I’ll be better. I’ll try. Talk to me though. You ain’t got nothin’ to be scared of.”

Joel’s words and his calming touches do make you feel better. A lot better.

“Okay.” You whisper sleepily.

“We’re goin’ to Tommy and Maria’s tonight for dinner and a fire outside. Rest up. We’ll have a good time. Get to show off my girlfriend. ” Joel yawns and pulls the blankets up over your shoulders. “I’m sorry again, baby. I love you.”

Dinner was good. Maria is a good cook and Tommy knows how to smoke meats very well. The weather was cool but the big fire the four of you sat around was nice. Joel held your hand in his while drinking something Tommy had given him. You drank wine and Maria had water. She was close to giving birth soon.

“Are you excited?” You ask, leaning over to talk to her while the brothers talked about buildings and things they needed for around town. She nods excitedly.

“We just finished his room. Tommy went and found a crib that’s really nice. It’s so clean and perfect.” She rubs her belly gently and looks at Tommy who is sitting across the fire. “He’s going to be such a good dad.”

“His room? How do you know it’s a boy?” You ask, a smile creeping onto your face as her own smile grows. She shrugs and cradles her unborn baby inside of her.

“I don’t know for sure. I just hope it’s a boy– I’ll be happy either way, really. But I want a boy so bad. I wanna name him after my brother.” She looks sadly at the fire now right in front of her. “I lost him pretty early in the outbreak.” She looks over to you now and flushes the sadness from her eyes and smiles.

“No kids of your own?” She asks, eyes flicking between you and Joel quickly. You shake your head.

“Not yet. We been thinking about it since we came back, though.” You explain, taking a sip of your wine. Maria’s eyes light up.

“You should! They could grow up together. It would be so nice to have another first time mom around.” She sounds excited but her eyes keep flicking between you and Joel. You look over your shoulder at him and he’s looking at you with a smile on his face, then he turns back to Tommy.

“I want to. I think about it a lot.” You turn back to Maria who has turned her whole pregnant body towards you. You let go of Joel’s hand finally and turn to face her also. “I never thought I’d get to. It’s almost like my brain accepted that I wouldn’t have my own kids so now I can’t accept the fact that it’s an option now.” You try to explain the best you can but Maria is nodding and has her hand on your forearm.

“I know. I know exactly what you mean. Those two just want to…fuck. Spread their seed. A mother’s instinct runs so much deeper than just a need to procreate. I thought Tommy was so dumb for wanting to have a baby in a place like this.” She looks around their backyard. “But it’s so safe. It took me a while to warm up to the idea.” Her eyes soften as they look at you. “C’mon. I’ll take you to get more wine.” She grabs your hand and leads you into their house.

It’s beautiful and nicely decorated. Maria keeps a clean home and it’s inspiring.

“Thanks for having us over tonight. We’ll have you over as soon as our backyard is cleaned up. Joel works on it everyday.” You look out at him through the window above their sink. Joel is so fucking handsome. It literally pains you. He’s all yours, too.

“He good to you?” Maria asks as she fills your wine glass. You honestly don’t need anymore but you feel too good to tell her to stop.

“What do you mean?” You turn to eye her suspiciously and lean against the island she’s setting the wine bottle down on.

“Is Joel good to you?” She’s serious. Much more serious than she had sounded outside. She had a tone of freaking wonder or something when she had been outside talking about babies and Tommy. Talking about Joel… she sounds…nervous? What the fuck?

“Yeah. He’s really good to me.” You look into her eyes and she’s moving them from you to the door that leads outside then back to you. “Why?” Now you’re fuckin’ nervous. What the actual fuck does she mean and why are her eyes doing that?

“Tommy has just told me some things. I worry for you and Ellie.” She leans on her elbows like you are. “He’s a dangerous guy.” You know this. You’ve seen him in action, but he’s not dangerous to you. No. He protects you.

“Yeah. Gotta be out here, to survive. If he wasn’t dangerous I wouldn’t have made it back here alive.” You defend him because was Tommy not dangerous at one point either? Joel told you about what he and Tommy did. You’re not blind to his past. Not really, you don’t think. “Tommy should know all about being dangerous. Right?” Your eyes scan her face.

“Tommy didn’t have an ex-wife who fled in the middle of the night to never be heard from ever again.” She whispers this. “Gone. In the wind. Didn’t call the kid. Didn’t come to visit.” This is all news to you. Joel had told you she left him, yes, but he didn’t tell you that she disappeared.

“He do something to her?” You ask nervously. Maria shakes her head. You let out a sigh of relief.

“Tommy just said that Joel can be controlling. Domineering. Possessive.” She says the words slowly. “Tommy doesn’t think Joel would ever put his hands on a woman. But Joel did or said something to make his ex run away. Far away. So far she never wanted to talk to her kid again.”

“Tommy told you that? That Joel did something?” You raise one eyebrow. Maria shakes her head from side to side again.

“Just my assumption.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Could have been an affair too, who knows. Just weird she didn’t wanna see her daughter after. I can’t imagine not seeing him and I don’t even know him yet.” She leans back and rubs her stomach. “I just want you to be careful.” She looks down at you seriously.

Maria! You are drunk and maybe still a little high from earlier! You had just gotten a lot of the fear and worry and doubt out of your heart and now you sleep next to a stranger again! Maria! Why!? You liked it better when you didn’t know any of that stuff and now you wish you could go back in time and politely decline her offer for more wine. You’re drinking it now too and it’s just going to make you more drunk. You set it down and push it away from you.

“I shouldn’t. I still have to take my medicine tonight.” You’re fucking nervous now because you’ve only been drunk the one other time when you were fifteen and you’re legs feel like they have no bones in them. “And walk home.” You sigh.

Joel and you say your goodbyes. Hugs and thank yous. We’ll do this again soon is said several times by all four of you. Joel grabs your hand and holds it tightly in his, interlacing his fingers into yours.

“Did you have fun?” Joel looks down at you with his perfect brown eyes and you wanna sit on his face. You nod up at him.

“I did. I like do– doing stuff like that.” You hiccup and wish you were home already. “I don’t wanna waaalk.” You whine as you guys get into the street.

“Hop up.” Joel kneels in front of you and holds his arms out at his sides. “Your leg should be good? Doesn’t hurt to bad?” You’re stopped behind him because he wants you to what? Play leap frog with him?

“What? You want me to jump over you?” You’re teetering to one side. “I can– barely stand up.” You almost fall and Joel has to jump up to catch you. “I’m drunk f’the first time in m-my adult life. I don’t—” Joel takes one of your hands and places it on his shoulder as he turns around. “I can’t jump over you!” You exclaim as he kneels again.

“Will you climb onto my back? I’m gonna piggy back you home, Jesus Christ.” He chuckles as you place your knees on sides. He holds you and lifts. There is a small dull pain in your leg but it feels better than walking with no bones.

“Weed and wine!” You exclaim as he carries you on his back. “I don’t like them, Joel Miller. I hate ‘em.” You rest your head on his shoulder. “What happened to your wife? Why did she leave you?” You slur against his jacket. Joel doesn’t stop walking.

“Unhappy. I worked a lot. We fought when I was home. Real bad. Really bad.” Joel whispers as you listen, your head still resting against his shoulder. “She’d hit me sometimes. I’d call her terrible things. She left in the middle of the night. Never heard from her again until I got divorce papers in the mail.” Joel looks back at your sleepy, drunk eyes. “Why you askin’ now, babe?”

“Been thinkin’ ‘bout it.” You lie through a whispered croak. “Don’t fight with me. Don— Don’t call me terrible things.” You continue to croak drunkenly.

“Don’t hit me.” Joel teases softly.

“Lemme ssspank you.” You close your eyes and he shifts you, lifting you up higher onto his back. You’re doing almost nothing to hold on besides the one shoulder you hold onto and the other you're resting on. Joel has to hunch to keep you up there.

“You can spank me, hell yeah. Fuckin’ teach me a lesson, Bird. I was bad. I need to be punished.” Joel laughs as you guys make your way up your own driveway and into the house. Ellie is making a snack in the kitchen when you get in.

“Oh no. She took too much medicine again?” She asks sarcastically. You think this is hilarious. Joel laughs too and shakes his head.

“Nope. Just had too much fun at Uncle Tommy’s house with Maria.” Joel kicks his boots off in the doorway and leaves them on the porch. “Come shut this door for me, El. I gotta put her to bed. We’re both goin’ to bed. You should too. You’re making breakfast in the morning.” Joel carries you to Ellie. You and her smile at each other and exchange a soft forehead touch while you cling to his shoulders.

“Love you, sssweet girl. G’night.” You sigh and rest your head on Joel’s shoulder again.

“Night! Love you guys. See you in the morning.” Ellie takes off up the stairs. Joel stands in the kitchen, not moving. The door to her bedroom slams shut.

“Did she just say she loves us?” Joel asks quietly. You nod sleepily against his shoulder.

“Yeah. I think so. I might’a jus’ said it to her. I dunno.” You’re so tired. Your mouth feels like it’s got weights inside of it. It’s so hard to talk. Oh my, God what is happening. You need to be laying down.

Joel gets you into bed and pulls your jeans off slowly.

“C’mon. Lemme put a baby into you. You’re gonna look so fucking sexy with my kid inside you.” Joel growls playfully and kisses from your lower stomach up to your chest, pushing your shirt up as he does it.

“I’d have a baby w– with you.” You hiccup again. You’re so drunk.

“I’ll put one in you when you're sober, baby girl. Joel kisses between your breasts and up your neck as he pulls your shirt up over your head for you. “I want to. So fucking bad.” Joel continues to kiss up your neck and towards your ear as he tosses your shirt to the floor behind him.

“Joel, do it.” You whisper up to him. He licks your jaw from your ear to your lips and he kisses you.

“I’m Daddy in here still. One of the rules now.” Joel kisses you again and then kisses back down your jaw on the other side.

“Daddy, please.” You want him inside of you so badly. The alcohol and his kisses have you wriggling underneath him.

“No.” Joel growls softly. “I’ll do it in the morning if you still feel the same.” He presses his erection against you through his jeans. “You feel how fuckin’ hard you make me? You feel how badly I want to? How bad I wanna claim that pussy forever. Cause you are mine. My baby, my sweet girl. Not below me. You’re right here with me, baby.” Joel’s whispering into your ear as he rocks his hips against your good thigh.

“Fuck, Daddy.” You moan softly at his words and his erection against you.

“Let’s go to bed.” Joel says suddenly. Your eyes shoot open.

“I congress–I cosign– I c-c-consent! Daddy please.” You’re begging him, drunkenly. Joel shakes his head no and gets off the bed to turn the light off.

“You’re drunk. I’m not. It feels weird now, after our talk in the park. C’mon. Let’s go to sleep.”

“Okay yes. Drunk. But still horny now. Cosigning. I wanna.” You look up at Joel as he crawls over you. “Please.” You look into his eyes and he’s still shaking his head no.

“Get yourself off. I’ll watch. I know you want it. I just can’t. Not tonight, babe.” Joel leans in and kisses you softly on the cheek, you pull away in frustration. “Awww, don’t be mad at me. Want me to suck those perfect fuckin’ tits while you touch yourself?” Joel offers some support in this whole denial of sex.

“No. I want to fuck.” Now you’re mad. You just wanna go to bed. You turn over and roll the opposite way from him, facing the wall. Joel laughs from behind you and pulls you in close to him.

“I wanna fuck you, too. ‘Nother rule is I don’t touch you while you’re intoxicated. Until you feel better about all of this at least.” Joel grinds himself into you from the back. “You feel that? It’s all yours, first thing in the morning if you still want it.”

if there are any tags you think I should add let me know.

#long reads #joel the last of us #fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller #ellie the last of us #pedro pascal characters #x you #angst #relationship #dark fic #female reader #crybaby universe #fic: venus in furs

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