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Hey, this is for you

Hey, this is for you

It’s not often that I’m able to help someone solve a problem. Heck, I can’t even seem to solve my own problems. So, it’s a special kind of feeling when I bump into something I can fix. It’s feeling purposeful, needed, valuable. Things I rarely feel, for varied reasons. I’m a gamer. I play several MMORPGs (that’s Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games to the uninitiated). I also play a…

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It's not perfect, but I think my first earring is coming along nicely. Happy Pride.🌈 It gets better.🏳️‍🌈🤗 Making these for a friend. Future profits will go to @itgetsbetter #macrame #linhasita #handmade #jewelry #pridemonth #rainbow #itgetsbetter #gaypride #queerart #bi #pansexualpride #artistsofinstagram #nonprofit #giveback #donate #ally #pride🌈 #wearyourpride #createchange https://www.instagram.com/p/CBg4wBsp0CT/?igshid=1qx2wx4xkfu5j

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Have I ever told you how awesome my beautiful sister is? She sent me some of @eastforkcultivars newest products: organic single-cultivar CBD oil that not only actually works and helps manage my pain, but elevates my mood, as well. They made it using organic 🥑 oil and it actually tastes good and, unlike my former go-to brand (that tasted pretty nasty), they actually certify their hemp which is super important because cannabis picks up toxins and heavy metals in the soil of conventional farms. Theirs is clean, delicious, effective, and it's less than half the price of the crappy brand! A 30 ml only costs $60, compared to 15 ml for $130! And it's more potent per drop. This one bottle might last me more than a month, but I will be happy to spend my money there for years to come. If all that's not enough for you, check out this glorious doggo in the cutest neckerchief you'll ever see. Head to their profile to get to their site. If their CBD can help me, someone who has arthritis so bad I have to use a cane when I wake up, relieving my pain and helping me get more than my regular 3 hrs of sleep, I can't imagine it wouldn't help you, too. I love @eastforkcultivars , their products, their ppl, their brand, and that holo sticker's pretty sweet, too. 😍 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_lIBVop2rq/?igshid=jumyqiy5ussv

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I'm a day late for Imbolc (Brigid's Day) but right on time for a day of celebrating commercialism and sportsing (not a typo, see the associated comic). The juxtaposition of these two very different celebrations (Imbolc being a day to celebrate rebirth, new life, thawing, sowing; a festival of hearth and home) has me thinking about how many of us stride our own strange lines: between rational thought and magical thinking, past and present, constance and change, the world we mourn and the one we dream into being. I don't know that there's a point to all the thinking, the overthinking and overanalyzing that constantly takes place in my hypomanic and anxious brain. Really, is there a point to anything? I don't know, but today, I'm going to try to worry a little less and relax a little more. And maybe I'll squeeze in some time to enjoy Hozier's 'Take Me to Church's, yet again. Happy Sunday. . #storm #stormclouds #cloudporn #atheopagan #atheist #pagan #relax #deepthoughts #rebirth #imbolc #brigid #sunday #gaelic #irish #goddess #hozier #spring #magical #norainnoflowers #Oklahoma #sky https://www.instagram.com/p/B8EueyZppTv/?igshid=pprscutuux8

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Relief, hopefully. (Also some delicious tea; black tea leaves + lavender, orange, assorted other goodness, and added butterfly pea flower.) CBD courtesy of my amazing sister @matte.finish Thank you so, so much! Photo featuring products from @gaiaherbs and @eastforkcultivars I really hope we are able to legalize marijuana federally someday soon so that they can do more research resulting in fewer doctors fearing it and so I can have insurance and/or flex pay for it. It's super shitty that Rx pills (which they don't really prescribe anymore due to the criminalization of #pain patients) are so much cheaper than #mmj . #cbd #cannabidiol #medicalmarijuana #legalizeit #cannabis #holistichealth #chronicpain #disability #sisters #gift https://www.instagram.com/p/B7t7Q9op1b0/?igshid=35azm1ky35ca

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This image features a couple of different things (and I’m not quite sure why I felt the need to combine them, but it’s what happened). I guess maybe what ties it together is that both came from my Mama, although I received them many years apart. At the top is my first macrame bracelet. I didn’t make it but I did love and appreciate it. It’s probably almost 30 years old now and somehow still [mostly] intact. (I’m a little bit older than that and likewise somehow still mostly intact.) Beneath that is a book on cultivating gratitude with journaling prompts. Gratitude is one of several things that, as someone who struggles with depression daily, doesn’t come easy to me. Today I am grateful for my husband, who briefly played The Elder Scrolls Online with me for the first time ever today (a huge accomplishment considering how much he hates Bethesda), and then proceeded to perform a much needed deep clean of our pantry, and, as if that wasn’t enough, did most of the work cooking a vegan dinner. I *am* “spoiled” by him, by what he does for me, but I am also extremely grateful. I’m just not great at expressing that. I don’t know if I’ll ever get better at it, but I am thankful. To all of my fellow psychiatric survivors and warriors, those of you who daily engage in a battle to survive: you are loved. You are valid. You can make it through today, tomorrow, and even the upcoming holidays. There are good things ahead for you, even if you can’t see them, even if you won’t notice them right away when they get here. I’m not going to tell you to smile or try to distract you from your very real problems. But I’m here, just a click or tap away if you ever need someone to talk to. If you’re in the US, please call 1-800-273-8255 in the event of a mental health crisis. Your story isn’t over yet;... https://www.instagram.com/p/B6I8bwmpjyg/?igshid=1x52x7nz65bbt

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This is Shadow. It's actually him 5 years ago, but it's the best photo I have. He's my #blackcat and #bestfriend. I originally found him in 2012, petting himself on the underside of my hubby's car. He looked really rough. He was covered in scars and his right eye looked like there was blood in it (it's just his coloring). I couldn't resist rescuing him and I've been thankful every day that I've woken next to him. He's probably around 12 now, but we're not sure. His name has a dual meaning: Shadow Moon from American Gods and he's my shadow, happily following me everywhere. He's very well behaved and has really bloomed over the years. No longer afraid of everyone, (surely a former victim of abuse), he even begs @tanya.theis.94 for affection. #Cats are highly intelligent and affectionate and deserve loving homes & people who try to understand them. People are awful to black cats, especially near Halloween. Protect them; feral, lost, street, or barn, make it a point to prevent them from being harmed. This year and every year, #lovecats . #adoptdontshop #rescuecat #rescuedismyfavoritebreed #whoreallyrescuedwho #cats_of_instagram #catstagram #crazycatlady #furbaby @neilhimself #americangods #blackcatsofinstagram #blackcats https://www.instagram.com/p/B3xwHJ4JoZ2/?igshid=1u3e9jjxnedc7

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Come visit us at @tulsapaganpride today!!! . #pagan #tulsa #wiccan #books #shopsmall #local #localbusiness #smallbusiness #goddess #bracelets #jewelry #handmade https://www.instagram.com/p/B3PTFSvh1mW/?igshid=2e2olidbtlwv

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A new witches' ladder, made of waxed linen, wood beads, and a gorgeous Green Girl Studios charm. The front of the charm features a tree with the word LIFE underneath and the back has a quote from Henry David Thoreau: Bathe in all the tides of nature, in all her streams and oceans at all seasons. I may sell more like this later, but this one is fated for Pagan Pride in Tulsa on October 5. . #thoreau #henrydavidthoreau #nature #life #tree #art #braided #macrame #pagan #jewelry #witch #witchy #witchesofinstagram #witchsladder #witchesladder #spell #charm #prayerbeads https://www.instagram.com/p/B27OswWpgD-/?igshid=1os4udfngtbye

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In contrast to my previous past, here's something light, fun, soft: a bracelet and my first attempt at a witch's ladder (prayer beads). The bracelet has a cute charm on it that reads "love much, laugh often". Made with glass beads and c-lon cord. I plan to sell these sets at Tulsa Pagan Pride on October 5th. What colors and charms would you like to see on these? https://www.instagram.com/p/B2kLwJRpjQa/?igshid=1olnnk1bqaql2

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"if the heavens ever did speak, She's the last true mouthpiece... If I'm a pagan of the good times my lover's the [moonlight] to keep the Goddess on my side She demands a sacrifice" 🎵- @hozier That song is so incredibly powerful. I don't think I've ever listened to it with dry eyes. The moon is my compass. She helps me to better understand myself, the world, and my place within it. I'm reading Lunar Abundance and trying to be more proactive about and within my life. (It's a beautiful book. I recommend the print edition.) Today I am thankful for the love in my life; past, present, and [hopefully] future. Our family is still recovering from a tremendous loss. A light has gone out of this world. I hope it (and he) yet remains, somewhere.🕯️ #elune #luna #arianrhod #lunar #lunarabundance #moon #goddess #nature #Celtic #Irish #pagan #takemetochurch #mourning #depression #morose #life #death #health #bekind #vigil #meaning #whatsthepoint https://www.instagram.com/p/B2ex9KFJF5E/?igshid=1ne732z726dyv

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The first of my new Goddess triple wrap bracelets. This one's dedicated to the Morrigan 🌌. I made this with mystic aura quartz beads, high quality bonded blue thread, and eco-dyed metallic gunmetal leather. I'll be selling these at Pagan Pride Tulsa in October. . #goddess #themorrigan #queen #night #celtic #irish #fae #bracelets #pagan #shadow #knots #ladderwraps #leather #ecofriendly #sparkle #glow #tulsa #mystic #aura #quartz #gems #samhain #handmade #imadethis https://www.instagram.com/p/B2FaBnfpGY1/?igshid=p8kuqc1hybjp

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Aaaaah, it's here!!! I don't have anywhere near enough time to cherish these right now. I'm not even going to open them yet, because I know I won't be able to put them down and leave if I do. I'm so excited!!! Thank you for getting these mailed out so fast, @bunnydee ! . #tarotcats #tarot #anticipation #new #kickstarter #indieartist #cats https://www.instagram.com/p/B0g_2QHJJ_W/?igshid=1s8kligrvzea1

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As of Tuesday, I'm officially down 10+ pounds (and counting!). 3 weeks on #ww . I've been trying to eat more mindfully, appreciating every bite, thinking about the plants and their journey to my plate, and of course tracking everything. It's such a big change, going from eating anything and everything to putting thought into what I consume and why I do it. WW this week had a printout about "bored hunger" that is so accurate for me and has already helped me eat less. I've been gamifying WW mentally; like it's something I can "win" or "beat". I've got such a long way to go but I know a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. One day at a time (and sometimes one minute at a time). I've just gotta keep making choices my future self will thank me for. I think I might actually be able to do this. Here's to getting my life back! . #wwfreestyle #weightloss #motivation #10lbsdown #lifestylechange #winning #mindfulness (at WW "Formerly Weight Watchers") https://www.instagram.com/p/B0WGruspdkF/?igshid=1h8ed0yuhfpfx

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As long as you are living, there is still time to make beautiful, honest things. This world needs your voice, your courage, your stories. This app, Action for Happiness, consistently makes my day. I hope to start living up to the sentiment of this post soon. I'm making strides towards positive change. I'm even cleaning the awful mess that is my craft room right now. (Before I was distracted, that is.) I aspire to live more authentically, unapologetically, as much and as often as I can, for as long as I can. I don't want to feel stuck in a small life lived in fear anymore. I want to live again. https://www.instagram.com/p/B0JwNk7JABl/?igshid=p6wa1q96jeod

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I'm a few days late in posting this, but I just wanted to share this here. In 5 days, I lost 5 pounds. Sure, it's not going to continue at that pace, but this is a good, sustainable diet for me, unlike keto. I'm so happy and proud of myself. I've been so depressed and terribly fatigued for so long, not to mention the worsening of my physical disabilities, and I need to make changes in order to feel better. I'm trying to commit to my health for my own sake, no one else's. Just tracking and paying attention to what I put in my body has made a huge difference already. This isn't a punishment. This is a new way of looking at health, life, and my body. I can't keep going like I had been, keeping my head down and trudging along, stuck in the doldrums, dragging myself around in a rut that just got deeper and deeper. I want to feel better and I have to commit to myself to do that. . . . #weightloss #weightwatchers #weightlossmotivation #success #goals #ww #getyourshittogether #motivation #depression #diet #health #commitment #5lbsdown #slowandsteady https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz0nJ_yJf4c/?igshid=163f0rzs2rp3b

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to my fellow #depression "marines" fighting on the front-lines of #suicide prevention. thanks to Faith G. Harper for the text.