#Poetry has many interpretations

[anixknowsnothin]

the outside

week 3 of @ttpdpoetryweek

apologising beforehand because this is not my best and I’m submitting really late. my poetic side has gone due to too much physics and finals

The Outside I look from the outside,  I look at you,  You smile softly, lighting up the room,  As I stand in the dark cold. 

I wish I could take it back,  Take everything back, I lose sleep over the fact I walked out that door, And since then you’ve looked me in the eyes no more.

If only I tried to be better,  I swear I’m trying to be better, But you found better when I left, You found better because I left. 

I’ve never been the kind who always needed someone, I never really thought I needed someone. I said I can’t do with you, But really, I can’t do without you. 

Now I’m outside,  I walk towards the door, The same door I slammed as I stormed out of your life,  And I knock.

[h-f-k]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT | Concept Redesign

Taylor Swift's 11th studio album The Tortured Poets Department dives into the lives of victorian women who refused to adopt wholesale the codes and conventions of the male poetic tradition.

More about the concept under the cut

Theodore Turner, Thomas Bennet, Paul Wright and David Morgan founded TTPD in 1835 in New York with the hopes of making their way through the world of literature. 20 years later they found themselves being the most prolific publishing house in the city with acclaimed poems and short stories becoming an undeniable force among their female readers. No one could believe four men around the age of 30 could understand the nuances of love, heartbreak, loss and hopelessness as well as they did. But not every story has a happy ending. While the four gentleman became history and their names were positioned next to the biggest names of american poetry of the 19th century there's something that lies beneath that chronicle.

35 Women were the backbone of TTPD writing everything from poems, short stories and even clever and witty jokes that were quite hard for victorian men to grasp. While relegated to the back of the building they tried to fought for their space in the poetry world. Each publication was signed with the initials TTPD and while common readers could interpret that as the well known acronym of the company's founders they believed leaving their own trace would mean something to future writers and women across the country.

The Tortured Poets Department was born out of anger and spite yet kept going for so many years, until the company closed, because the shared love for poetry and expressing and seeing the world in a different way was cathartic for 35 women who from a young age were told to get married fast and not intefere in gentlemen's business.

This album shines a light on those women who died thinking their efforts to become someone were useless. The Tortured Poets Department dives into lives of 35 victorian women who refused to adopt wholesale the codes and conventions of the male poetic tradition and recounts the story as it should've been told in the first place.

[borninwinter81]

William Blake - an introduction for Good Omens fans

I have sent @neil-gaiman an ask regarding his feelings toward the poet/artist William Blake a couple of times, but no doubt due to the size of the poor man's inbox I haven't received a response. So I did a Google search to see if he's spoken about Blake before, and it did indeed come up with a fair few hits. I think you might enjoy seeing this Twitter post if you haven't already, the painting is from William Blake's illustrations to Paradise Lost.

It's not surprising that an author like Neil Gaiman might have an interest in Blake. A visionary from a young age, his imagination was such that he was surrounded by angels made visible in his mind's eye, and he interpreted these visions through poetry, painting and engraving, and self-printed and published many of his own works. This gave him complete freedom to say exactly what he wanted.

Though he had a passionate faith in God, he also had a deep distrust of the church as an institution, and disliked the use of religion as a means of control. This poem from "Songs of Experience" perhaps summarises his feelings best:

"I went to the Garden of Love,

And saw what I never had seen:

A Chapel was built in the midst,

Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,

And 'Thou shalt not' writ over the door;

So I turn'd to the Garden of Love,

That so many sweet flowers bore. 

And I saw it was filled with graves,

And tomb-stones where flowers should be:

And Priests in black gowns, were walking their rounds,

And binding with briars, my joys & desires."

In his poetry there is often an incongruity with the generally accepted religious ideas of what is good and evil, Angel and Demon. In The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (there's a title that should make any GO fan sit up and pay attention) he tells us that "in the book of Job, Milton's Messiah is called Satan", signifying that he feels it is Lucifer/the devil who is the true Messiah of Paradise Lost.

He gives us The Voice of the Devil and Proverbs of Hell, and has Angels being transformed into Demons through enlightenment. He tells us that Jesus broke all of the 10 commandments, yet was still virtuous because he acted according to his own morality rather than rules.

The god-figure of his later works, Urizen, generally comes across as malevolent, seeking to bind and control, whilst Los, the Satan/Messiah figure represents freedom, imagination and creativity.

"Restraining desire" and acting contrary to your own nature seem to be the only real evils for Blake.

He expressed his faith through a love of the world and the beauty in it, summed up in this quote:

"When the Sun rises do you not see a round Disk of fire somewhat like a Guinea? O no no I see an innumerable company of the Heavenly host crying Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty".

He saw "God" in everything, in all the wonders we have around us, and considered writers/poets and religious prophets as essentially the same, since they both have a connection to the divine, and express it through stories.

It's quite ironic that probably his most famous poem, Jerusalem (the one that starts "and did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's mountains green"), was made into a very popular church hymn, yet it is supposed to be satirical in nature. The poem recounts the myth that Jesus may have visited England in his boyhood, and Blake is expressing his disbelief at that notion and the unworthiness of England.

Did I have a point to all this? Mostly to show my hand as a massive Blake nerd, but also to hopefully demonstrate that there's a lot of common ground between his ideas and those expressed in a show/book like Good Omens, and hopefully to inspire some of you who may not be familiar with Blake to seek him out. In particular I'd recommend The Marriage of Heaven and Hell to any and all.

EDIT: I should have thought to include this, here's Michael Sheen reading a Blake poem. I have the CD this is from, he reads several by Blake, as well as other poets I love ❤️ 😍

[gingermintpepper]

YOU!! OH MY GOD YOU!!!!

Okay for once I don't have anything strictly academic to add to this conversation. I don't have a link to pull out of my pocket or a specific paper to reference but following your latest saga of posts - you've given voice to one of the most pressing things I've had trouble explaining to a lot of people very eager to be 'correct' when it comes to interpreting greek mythology without realising the inherent oxymoron of that line of thinking. Greek, especially Ancient Greek, is not English. There are, in fact, very few languages that are as literal and directly referential as modern English. Whenever you read an English telling of a bit of Greek writing whether that be a poem, hymn, tale or plaque, you are reading a translation. You are reading an interpretation. Translators work very very hard to try to capture the essence of the original text by using cultural context and language tools to inform their decisions but that kind of information is usually ignored by people who read casually. How many people read footnotes at the bottom of an academic paper or the robust translator's notes at the beginning of some of our favourite compilations of Greek works, after all?

The effect of this is that very often, due to a myriad of reasons, people tend to get very stuck on the idea of a Greek Mythology 'canon' or the idea of a 'true' version of the gods, their stories and their lineages and dedicate an awful lot of time and energy to debating these various versions instead of understanding the underlying reason for all of these disparate versions and scattered visages of the gods and all their faces. Ancient Hellenism and all its related religions were oral first and foremost and each orator had his own home, region, beliefs and interpretations of the gods which would colour their tales. The language of the greek gods is poetry - you must, at some point, come to terms with the fact that there are simply not clearly defined answers for every question because not every word that was written down was recorded and no god remained the same from territory to territory.

The only way to gain an understanding and appreciation for these myriad gods and their myriad faces in an age and culture which so values empirical data, 'truth' and strict, followable guidelines is to read. You must read as many versions of your favourite myths and tales as you can possibly and reasonably find. Find the points about a figure that stick out to you, pay attention to the way different translators describe their features and qualities, read translator notes and footnotes and glossaries! Question and compare translation decisions!! But never stop reading.

Happy interpreting everyone <3

The word οἶνοψ (oinops), of which proposed reconstruction of [οί]νώ[πα] would root, is a headache to translate. You can find a lot of academic discussion surrounding it and the multitude of conclusions on what this comparison of color to wine means. As of current, it's possible that:

it implies a specific color (reddish, purplish, blueish), or

it implies glittering/glistening (as the dark surface of wine), or

it implies particular effects of wine, or

it implies Dionysiac traits, or

it implies connection to frenzy (as 'wine-eyed') and so on

More on the topic of color in Ancient Greek texts:

Synaesthesia and the Ancient Senses, S. Butler, A. C. Purves

Studies in Greek Colour Terminology, v. I, Maxwell-Stuart

The semantics of colour in the early Greek word-hoard, M. Clarke

Lastly, no, I do not mind the idea of dark-haired Apollo at all. Like I mentioned before, both "dark hair" and "golden hair" could be examples of either literal or non-literal perception of color. I simply find jumping to conclusions a-la "it says 'dark' means he was a brunette" or "it says 'golden' means he was a blonde" an unnecessary simplification, especially when we talk about a transcendent idea of a God and not a human. It's a matter of interpretation and separation from preconceived literal notions of color as we currently perceive it.

[creeperthescamp]

i think one of the least used concepts in elder scrolls lore is its nebulous relationship to truth.

like something i do actually appreciate about that cunt kirkbride's writing in morrowind is that the mythology of the tribunal is allowed to be relatively ambiguous and there's room for poetry and fable and unreliable narrators. there's a strong general tendency in both fandom and dev to interpret lore quite literally and treat every text as reliable sources of fact about tamriel even when the text is like. fiction or written with a clear bias towards certain factions or prejudices.

the main example I'm thinking of is the 'notes on racial phylogeny' lore book. it's literally just racist pseudoscience and in a real life context would be considered unreliable and deeply offensive. but in tes, i rarely see anyone stop to actually consider that perhaps this lore isn't really a factual study of how bodies work but about how the imperial empire categorises the people it colonises and justifies it's supremacy. there's so much focus on determining the rules and metaphysical aspects of the world that there's no consideration that the way factions like the empire see the world is inherently flawed.

it's fun to think of a world where stars are literal holes punched in the fabric of the sky, or that water is made of memory, but i also think it would be a much more fun and flexible world if these theories are considered to be just a few of many lenses that people in tamriel use to try to understand their world. some of my favourite pieces of lore and world building are things like 'cherims heart of anequina' that imply a rich world of culture and art; i love the idea that tamriel has art and art critics and people who discuss ideas for other purposes than trying to figure out what's The Only True Lore.

[lokilokilolki]

Crowley admitted his feelings in Season 1

This specific quote is in reference to Act II, Scene 2 of Shakespeare's play "Antony and Cleopatra." Which canonically had not even been written yet in the series, which IMPLIES that when Shakespeare heard Crowley's words, he interpreted them as what they truly meant and transitioned them into the play. So basically Crowley has been absolutely besotted by Aziraphale from the beginning and Shakespeare agreed so much he put it in one of the most famous romantic plays of all time.

The original quote by Shakespeare read as follows:

“Never; he will not: Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety;”

This quote is spoken in the play when a follower of Mark Antony describes the appearance of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, as she rode her barge down the river Cydnus; and how Mark Antony first lays eyes on her then immediately falls head-over-heels in love with her. "Age does not wither her" means that her beauty and allure do not diminish with the passage of time. It implies that as she ages, she remains just as attractive and enchanting as ever. "Nor custom stale her infinite variety": Here, "custom" refers to familiarity or routine. The quote suggests that even familiarity or habit does not make Cleopatra's qualities or personality seem boring or less interesting. "Infinite Variety" implies that she possesses an inexhaustible range of qualities, moods, and aspects that keep her intriguing and unpredictable---Sound like someone familiar?

Now keep in mind that when Crowley said it, It was never originally about Cleopatra

Crowley said “Age does wither nor custom stale HIS infinite variety” because AZIRIPHALE is the subject.

Crowley has admitted to being captivated by Aziraphale since he first laid eyes on him; since the first ever rainfall. Through thousands of years, Aziraphale has–quite literally never aged nor withered but–remained a consistent and magnetic presence in Crowley's life; Aziraphale company never stales because he is infinite variety, the angel with 100 contradictions, who gave away their sword without hesitation and rebelled against heaven beside Crowley; who keeps surprising him at every turn. Aziraphale himself bends the effects of time and routine because no matter how many years pass Crowley will always find him as gorgeous and fascinating as he did before the light was even born.

Aziraphale obviously doesn't really understand Shakespeare or the depth of poetry at this time, (as interpreted by his reactions to the play) and Crowley realizes this and grasps the moment to confess his feelings knowing that Aziraphale likely would not look too deep past it, you can see the shift in him when he recognizes the opportunity and the sudden morose tone he has when saying it to no one in particular.

The Good Omens writers are absolute saints, nothing they do is lazy in the least and I am positive that effort went into finding a quote that encapsulated the true depth of relations between the two.

[pmamtraveller]

PIERRE AMÉDÉE MARCEL-BERONNEAU; "ORPHEUS IN HADES," 1897

The artwork depicts the famed musician Orpheus following his journey into the underworld. He is depicted standing nude, adorned with a laurel wreath, representing his talent in poetry and music. He possesses a beautifully crafted lyre, believed to enchant all creatures and even lifeless items. The backdrop is filled with dark shapes and silhouettes, symbolizing the souls of Hades, enchanted by Orpheus melodies.

Orpheus ventured into Hades after the sorrowful demise of his wife, Eurydice, who had been bitten by a serpent. Overcome by sorrow, he tried to retrieve her from the afterlife. Equipped with his lyre and remarkable musical skills, Orpheus captivated the keepers of the underworld, such as Cerberus, and obtained a meeting with Hades and Persephone. His heartfelt music compelled them to give him an opportunity to retrieve Eurydice, on the condition that he must not glance back at her until they were back on the surface. Orpheus almost succeeds, but in the end, he looks back and loses her forever.

Critics lauded the artwork for its striking composition and the moving depiction of Orpheus's sorrowful quest. Nonetheless, like many artworks from this era, it also encountered criticism from traditionalists who favoured more classical depictions. Over time, Marcel-Beronneau's interpretation has been acknowledged for its distinctive emotional depth and its role in the continual exploration of the Orpheus myth within art and literature.

[headspace-hotel]

I've been able to neither read nor write stories in a long time. Poetry too, for the most part. I guess what I mean is that the art of the written word has become a stranger to me.

I hate what poetry classes did to my writing. Yes, the Wikipedia poems, but they are easier because they're not my own words, and I have gotten so many comments on those saying they are powerful pieces of art, but for me personally they're a way of hiding from the awfulness of trying to assemble my own words into poetry.

I hate the poems I wrote in poetry classes. I hate the version of me I showed others in those classes. I hate the way poetry classes taught me to draw from my own experiences and thoughts for poetry. I hate everything I learned about how to interpret poetry, the eye with which I learned to read poetry, and the vocabulary I learned to talk about poetry, and ultimately, I hate "literary" poetry.

"Literary," by the way, is the category of art that has more meaning, value and legitimacy than the "other" category, which is not "literary." A "literary" poem is published in special, fancy "literary" magazines and almost invariably written by a person with a MFA or PhD in poetry.

You could say that the distinguishing feature of "literary" art is its overwhelming sense of legitimacy. A "literary" poem is a poem in the same way that a nonprofit organization is charitable, that a CEO is rich, or that an SAT score demonstrates your academic prowess. It is a poem completely immune to the possibility that someone will think it sucks. It expects to be absorbed, analyzed, studied, and discoursed upon because something feels "official" about whatever designates it as Good Art.

Literary poems are not only written by and for a special subset of people that have been formally taught to read and interpret poetry, they are written exclusively for audiences that will automatically assume they are Good Art; beautiful, meaningful, and worth interpreting. Because of this, most literary poems are literal incomprehensible nonsense.

Just take this one:

Say I climb the ladder of wheat/and at the top there is a faucet dripping beads of water/but the water takes a year to turn into an eagle/and the sky's forty-three shades of gray pierce/the first inflection of my heart, the point where the signals/throw grass into the river. Say the river sags/and the horizon sucks the lance out of the ghost's hands/like the moment of being born, the point where a shadow's/tongue slides through the faultline./Grace. Sunlight, cherries.

(it continues like this)

And conceptually, I love art as collaboration between the creator and viewer, where abstract, indeterminate and murky things are forced to take shape through the participation of the viewer as they interpret and associate things that stand out to them in the work! The "aliveness" of art in the abyss between what the artist attempts to communicate and what the viewer feels is the coolest thing to me!

But this philosophy of art is incompatible with the idea that there is an elite category of art that is worthy of interpretation, analysis, and reverence. I can fuck around with this random word generator and get something that is roughly as meaningful as the above. I don't mean that as demeaning to the poem, I mean that I feel demeaned by the poem, because its linguistic play and experimentation is something that everybody can do, that everyone should try doing, but this poem has been designated as something exceptionally meaningful and worthy and its writer teaches writing at the University of Chicago. You can click through that website for hours and not find a single soul without a MFA or above in poetry or creative writing.

For me, the world of "literary" writing was like a room with a splatter of vomit across the floor that no one else would acknowledge. The ability to formally study poetry in college was a privilege, but I was constantly aware of privilege, and the thing about privilege is the more you have, the less you think about it. What of the ability to pursue a PhD in poetry? What small fraction of people could expend so much time and money on something that didn't really have a career associated with it? And of that fraction, which fraction would be seen as "good enough" to publish poetry books and to teach? With poetry this indeterminate, how were the "good" poets selected at all?

Literary writing excludes poor people, and the existence of published literary poets who are immigrants or minorities doesn't negate this. Increasingly, published writing in general excludes poor people. A LOT of popular authors graduated from very elite schools!

But literary poetry I hate especially, because it puffs itself up on unlocking the universe and human experience and pain, as if insight into those things is a seldom-appearing gift instead of something many people have, except they don't have the time and money to train themselves into expressing it in a way that appears Literary.

The "literary" vs. "non-literary" paradigm had an inescapable rottenness to it. I couldn't stop thinking about the luminous conversations I'd had with people who lacked the formal training to express ideas in a "literary" manner, but still showed me something vital about the universe.

I've been bitching about literary poetry for like two years now, and really, I just hate what studying all that shit has done to my own writing style. It's so frustrating that the joy and playfulness won't come back.

[samwisethewitch]

What Non-Pagans Need to Know About Fiction Featuring Pagan Gods

In light of Marvel's Loki show dropping a second season and a new Percy Jackson series on the horizon, I want to say some things about how fandom spaces can be respectful of real-life pagan religion.

Let's get one thing out of the way: literally no one is saying you can't enjoy fiction that uses pagan gods and heroes as characters. No one is saying, "Stop writing stories about our gods." In fact, many ancient cultures wrote fiction about their gods -- look at Greek theater or the Norse Eddas. The act of writing fiction about the gods is not offensive in itself.

But please remember that this is someone's religion.

The gods are not "just archetypes." Their myths are not "just stories." Their personalities are not a matter of artistic interpretation. For many pagans, the gods are very much real in a literal sense. I don't think Thor is a metaphor or a symbol -- for me, Thor is a real, autonomous spiritual being who exists outside of human perceptions of him, and who I have chosen to build a relationship with. Even if you are a hardcore atheist, I would hope you could at least be respectful of the fact that, to many modern pagans, the gods are both very real and very important.

When authors are not respectful of this fact, they reduce the gods, these very real objects of worship, to fictional characters. And here's the thing about fictional characters: they are fundamentally tools for authors to use to draw a desired emotional response from an audience.

Dracula's personality and behavior is wildly different depending on who is writing him, because different authors use Dracula to create different reactions in their audiences. In the 1931 film starring Bela Lugosi, he's equal parts alluring and disturbing, a symbol of America's mixed desire and disdain for foreigners. In Nosferatu, he's more strictly frightening and disgusting. In Francis Ford Coppola's movie, he's a tragic, romantic figure clinging to the last scraps of his humanity. In Netflix's Castlevania, he's an incredibly powerful being who has grown bitter and apathetic in his immortality. All of this is Dracula, and all of it is fine, because Dracula is not and never has been a central figure in anyone's religion.

Let's take a look at what happens when authors give this same treatment to real gods:

In Hellenic polytheism, Apollo is one of the most beloved gods, both historically and today. Apollo loves humanity, and humanity loves him back. He is the god of sunlight and of medicine, but also of poetry and song. He is one of humanity's most consistent defenders when one of the other gods gets wrathful. And while he does have dangerous or wrathful aspects of his own (he's also the god of disease, after all), he's also kind and soft with humanity in a way other gods often aren't, at least in some historic sources.

In the Lore Olympus comic series, Apollo is a villain. He's characterized as an abuser, a manipulator, and a violent man child. LO!Apollo is downright hateful, because the author wants us to hate him. Lore Olympus is a retelling of a myth about an abduction and forced marriage. Lore Olympus is also a romance. In order to get the audience to sympathize with Hades and root for his relationship with Persephone, Rachel Smythe needed to make someone else the villain. Apollo is the most obvious and extreme character assassination in Smythe's work, but several other gods (notably Demeter) also get the asshole makeover to tell the story Smythe wants to tell.

Here's where this becomes a problem: Hellenic polytheism is a fairly small religious community, while Lore Olympus is a massively popular webtoon with 1.3 billion views as of August 2023, print books available from major retailers, a TV adaptation in the works, and a very active online fandom. Rachel Smythe currently has a MUCH bigger platform than any Hellenic polytheism practitioner. Smythe and other authors are shaping how modern culture views the Hellenic gods, and that has a very real impact on their worshipers.

This means "Apollo is an abusive asshole" is becoming a popular take online, and is even creeping into pagan communities. I've personally seen people be harassed for worshiping Apollo because of it. I've seen new pagans and pagan-curious folks who totally misunderstand the roles Apollo, Hades, and Persephone play in the Hellenic pantheon because of Lore Olympus and other modern works of fiction.

There are tons of other examples of this in modern pop culture, but I'll just rattle off a few of the ones that annoy me most: Rick Riordan depicting Ares/Mars as a brutish asshole hyped up on toxic masculinity; Rick Riordan depicting Athena as a mother goddess; Marvel depicting Thor as a dumb jock; Marvel depicting Odin as a cold, uncaring father; DC depicting Ares as purely evil; whatever the fuck the Vikings TV show was trying to do with seidr; the list goes on.

All of these are examples of religious appropriation. Religious appropriation is when sacred symbols are taken out of their original religious context by outsiders, so that the original meaning is lost or changed. It requires a power imbalance -- the person taking the symbols is usually part of a dominant religious culture. In many cases, the person doing the appropriation has a much bigger platform than anyone who has the knowledge to correct them.

When Rick Rioridan or Rachel Smythe totally mischaracterizes a Greek god to tell a story, and then actual Hellenic pagans get harassed for worshiping that god, that's religious appropriation.

Religious appropriation is a real issue. This isn't just pagans being sensitive. To use an extreme example: Richard Wagner and other German Romantic authors in the 19th century used the Norse gods and other Germanic deities as symbols in their work, which was a major influence on Nazi philosophy. Without Wagner, the Nazis would not have latched onto the Norse gods as symbols of their white supremacist agenda. To this day, there are white supremacist groups who claim to worship our gods or who use our religious imagery in their hate movement. We are still reckoning with the misinterpretation of our gods popularized by Wagner and other German Romantics almost 200 years ago.

Again, no one is saying you can't enjoy fiction based on pagan mythology. But there are a few things you can do to help prevent religious appropriation in fandom spaces:

Above all else, be mindful that while this may just be a story to you, it is someone's religion.

Recognize that enjoying fiction based on our gods does not mean you know our gods. You know fictional characters with the same names as our gods, who may or may not be accurate to real-life worship.

Do not argue with or try to correct pagans when we talk about our experience of our gods.

Don't invalidate or belittle pagan worship. Again, this mostly comes down to recognizing that our religion is totally separate from your fandom. We aren't LARPing or playing pretend. Our sacred traditions are real and valid.

If you see other people in your fandom engaging in religious appropriation, point out what they are doing and why it isn't okay.

Please tag your fandom content appropriately on social media. Always tag the show, movie, book, etc. that a post is about in addition to other relevant tags. This allows pagans to block these fandom tags if we don't want to see them and prevents fandom content showing up in religious tags.

For example, if I'm posting about Athena from the Percy Jackson books, I would tag the post #athena #athenapjo #percyjackson #pjo. You get the idea.

And if fiction sparks your interest and you want to learn more about the actual worship of the gods, you can always ask! Most pagans love talking about our gods and trading book recs.

If you are writing fiction based on real mythology, talk to people who worship those gods. Ask them what a respectful portrayal would look like. If possible, include a note in your finished work reminding audiences that it is a work of fiction and not meant to accurately portray these gods.

[shirefantasies]

the fellowship and how they would comfort you after a nightmare

Sure thing! This is such a cute idea I love it 🥺 no detail is given about the nature of the nightmare, so it’s pretty fluffy & open to interpretation 🥰

How The Fellowship Comforts You After a Nightmare

Aragorn

A pair of hands catch you about the waist. “Careful, beloved, you almost fell,” a deep voice whispers. Aragorn. You start despite the comforting voice, and he notices. Fixing you with a look of concern, he nods encouragingly, letting you speak; you tell him it was a nightmare. “What happened?” He asks, and he listens with great interest as you describe what you saw, what your mind forced you to experience. “The night can be false,” he tells you, moving so close you can feel his breath upon your ear, “bringing forth our greatest fears. But I am here with you in its darkness.” Nodding, you give a small smile as he takes your hands. “Come here,” he beckons, and acquiescing he tucks you into him, your back against his chest and his arm draped over you protectively.

Legolas

“Come." You hear Legolas before you see him, feel the way he reaches for you. Fingers intertwine with yours and shakily you reciprocate the grip. He raises you gently to a seated position, holding you lightly about the waist as you rotate in tandem. You’re facing the window, you realize, looking out into the night. “The stars,” Legolas breathes, “ever have they provided us with hope and comfort. They are looking out for us.” Mystic as his words are, you cannot help but admit that focusing on the distant, twinkling lights is calming, especially in Legolas’s arms. Silently, you nod. Legolas peers down at you thoughtfully before speaking again, pointing out stars and constellations until you are lulled into a much more peaceful sleep.

Boromir

A tear slides down your cheek, but before the lines to reality are fully crossed you feel a hand caress you, wipe the droplet gently. “What ever is the matter?” A voice you would recognize anywhere: Boromir. Before you can speak you’re latching onto him. Stroking the crown of your head, he questions again, this time asking if you are all right. “I will be,” you answer shakily. His lips fall to yours, firmly but with a sense of care, of loving. “Good. You have me until then, and, I’m afraid, long after that, too,” he jokes, pulling you closer. “That means more than you could ever know,” you mutter, nuzzling into his neck and giving in when he shifts to his back, your body draped over his like a warm blanket.

Gimli

Gasping and shooting upward, you are met with a shout that has you exclaiming as well, heart thundering in your chest. Suddenly, looking as though he’s been slapped, Gimli reaches for your hand, taking it in both of his. “Whatever is the matter, my jewel?” You cannot help cracking a feeble smile at his words of endearment even through the involuntary terror you’d awoken to. You apologize, tell him a nightmare had taken you. “Not if I have anything to say about it!” Gimli retorts. “Does it realize who it is up against?” Cue your beloved dwarf highlighting every amazing thing about you, from your beauty to your fighting spirit to simply poetry, all the wonderful things in this world you remind him of. “So if some dream thinks it can take you, it is sorely mistaken,” he concludes, looking satisfied at the upward tug of your lips, the bashful way your head falls against his chest.

Frodo

Stirs with immediate knowledge and understanding of what you are going through, having experienced it many times himself. No words are necessary, only the small, sad nod you share. Frodo's hand immediately trails up and down your arm, spreading grounding warmth across your skin. Your head falls back against his chest in defeat and with a deep breath, he pulls you flush against him, lips pressing against the crown of your head. Frodo never demands words, but listens with deep thoughtfulness if you wish to volunteer them and even shares any similarities in his so you know you are not alone. Especially if any of them embody your worst intrusive thoughts, the hardest things to share aloud. He only feels comfortable sharing the events of his own nightmares because of this dark bond you share, but seeing your face and feeling the caress of your hand upon his cheek is all it takes to cast a light back into his eyes, one that sparks the same for you.

Sam

Sam’s hold upon you is the first awareness you achieve as you are thrust back into reality, your eyelashes fluttering as you make out his form. The moment tension fades from your body, he’s pulling you into him, rocking you gently and running his hand through or over your hair. “Sam, I’m sorry -” “Shhh,” he soothes, smiling gently, almost tearfully, “there’s no need. There’s no need at all. Let’s just stay here.” At your nod, he rests his chin atop your head and tucks your bodies as close into each other as possible, limbs fitting together like puzzle pieces. The last sensation you remember before drifting off to sleep is Sam’s lips lightly pressed against your cheek.

Merry

A gasp alerts Merry to your plight, sending him shooting up into a seated position, looking around the room with concern before his eyes fall sympathetically to you. “Bad dream?” His voice is quiet, hoarse from lack of use. You just nod. “Well that won’t do,” he shoots back, sitting up further and extending a hand. Shakily you take it and are pulled up at his side, an arm slung around your shoulders. “In the Brandybuck household, bad dreams mean storytime,” he tells you with a growing smile, “so your choice. Family legend or embarrassing Pippin story?” You feel your lips curling upward, visions of your nightmare already fading. “Embarrassing Pippin story.” “Great choice! So this one time…well, we’d had one too many tankards, I’ll confess, but I was well until Pippin…”

Pippin

Does not wake up at your first stirring, but as you shift you feel his body move alongside you, turning to face your way. “Are you all right?" He whispers when you fall into his gaze, distress clear upon your face that you both feel and see mirrored in his. “Nightmare,” is all you have to whisper before you’re wrapped up completely in Pippin’s embrace, his legs tangling with yours as his arms wind around you. A smile breaks through on your face when you feel him nuzzle into you with his nose, leading you to snuggle in closer against his soft curls. “I’m always going to be here for you,” you hear him whisper, feel his warm breath as he speaks, “always.”

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[ficnation]

Chapter 9: Intentions

Series: “Eat Your Heart Out ”Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Female! Reader x Will Graham Word count: 4,7k+ Warnings: canon-typical warnings, canon divergence A/n: I know we're still not out of Su-zukana, but we're getting there. I probably won't follow everything that happens in the show. I will skip through some parts. Also I'm not super satisfied with the last scene no matter how many times I rewrite it, so I'm leaving it like this. (unedited)

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Hannibal and Will’s eyes lock in a silent duel, the latter’s gaze unforgiving, tinged with feigned ignorance. Will Graham wishes he could stop caring about what happened and what is yet to happen, but he can only pretend.

He studies the psychiatrist from head to toe, silently pleading for a sign from the universe that would reveal what sick ideas were brewing in his mind.

“You were able to reconstruct this killer’s fantasies,” Hannibal’s voice is almost a melody. “One dead creature giving birth to another. The bird, his victim’s new beating heart. Her soul given wings.”

Will’s gaze shifts away from the man before him, his mind conjuring the brutal image of Sarah Craber’s lifeless body, her eyes forever staring into the void. The way the psychiatrist describes it aligns with your words, and Will finds himself reluctantly agreeing. It’s a brutal kind of poetry, one that leaves an indelible mark on the soul.

“Rebirths can only ever be symbolic,” Will states, seemingly uninterested.

“You’ve been reborn.”

That piques his interest; he looks at Hannibal with raised brows. “Wasn’t that the goal of my therapy?”

A pregnant pause hangs between them as the other man carefully selects his words. Will finds it disappointing when the topic of conversation is swiftly shifted.

“How does it feel consulting again with Jack Crawford and the FBI? Last time, it nearly destroyed you.”

Will blinks rapidly and licks his lips in annoyance, a subtle sign of his inner turmoil. He knows he can’t allow his emotions to overpower him. Certainly not now.

“Last time, you nearly destroyed me,” he states the obvious. Hannibal’s gaze shifts to his hands lying in his lap, a subtle indication of his own contemplation.

“After everything that has happened, Will, you still believe—” his words trail off into silence as Will cuts him off swiftly, his voice almost amused.

“Stop right there.”

Hannibal blinks slowly, meeting the other man’s gaze head-on. Will notices he almost looks ashamed, but he’s not entirely convinced that the killer in front of him is capable of feeling anything, let alone shame.

“You may have to pretend, but I don’t,” Will asserts, his tone firm and unwavering.

Hannibal’s gaze softens, a glimmer of understanding flickering in his eyes. “No, you don’t,” he agrees, his voice carrying a weight of sincerity. “Not with me.”

There’s a subtle shift in the atmosphere, a moment of unspoken connection between them, despite the chasm of their differences.

“I don’t expect you to admit anything. You can’t. But I prefer sins of omission to outright lies, Dr. Lecter. Don’t lie to me.” Each word is enunciated with deliberate care, emphasizing the gravity of the statement.

As their eyes meet, the sunlight streams through the window, casting a golden hue that dances across their faces. The gentle rays illuminate the room, creating a warm and serene atmosphere despite the tension between them. The dim sunlight seems to linger, as if highlighting the intensity of their quiet exchange and emphasizing the gravity of the moment.

“Will you return the courtesy?” the psychiatrist’s question hangs in the air, awaiting a response.

Will remains silent, knowing that Hannibal will interpret his lack of response as agreement.

“Why have you resumed your therapy?” his voice is steady, probing for the truth.

“Can’t just talk to any psychiatrist about what’s kicking round my head.” Will replies, his tone casual yet guarded. Hannibal scrutinizes him closely, searching for any telltale signs of deception or sincerity.

“Does she know?”

“About me being back in therapy with you? Yes.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Will. Does she know?”

Will sits in silence for an excruciatingly long moment, contemplating which pieces of truth he should divulge and which he should leave behind.

The room grows unbearably hot and airless, and his breath comes quick and heavy. He can feel his heart hammering against his chest, demanding to be let out. He’s struggling with a familiar feeling, the kind that threatens to overwhelm—to swallow him whole. And he’s powerless against it.

Finally, he finds the words, but they’re hardly a relief to the growing burden in his chest. “Yes.”

“What did you tell her, Will?” Hannibal’s voice carries more curiosity than anger. Will isn’t sure if he expected something more profound or revealing from his response.

“Everything.”

Hannibal’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, but his expression remains unreadable.

Will feels an intense urge to elaborate, to fill in the missing pieces, to explain the whole picture. But he bites his tongue, choosing to stay silent instead, to keep his secrets. Hannibal remains still for a moment, taking in the information, assessing Will and his answer.

After a while, he speaks, “Does she know why?”

“Hannibal, I don’t even know why you did what you did.”

“Perhaps you never will,” Hannibal replies cryptically, his tone tinged with a hint of amusement. His eyes narrow, piercing Will like a knife. “And yet, you came to me in spite of that.”

“You wanted her to come back. Why?” Will asks. He’s not going to give up that easily.

“Because she’s brilliant, Will. She understands people in ways no one ever has. She’s perceptive and intuitive, and she’s not afraid to stare into the abyss. I’ve been searching for such an individual for a very long time.”

“I reckon asking you to leave her alone would be futile,” Will suggests with a resigned tone.

“Indeed,” Hannibal acknowledges with a faint smile. “But I promise to handle the situation delicately.”

“Handle it delicately?” Will asks, unable to keep the surprise and amusement from his voice. He’s never expected such words from Dr. Lecter, not when it comes to you. “Can you promise me she’ll be safe?”

Hannibal hesitates for a moment, clearly weighing his answer before speaking. “I can promise you that I have no intention of harming her,” he replies, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “However, I am also aware that my intentions may not always be the most relevant factor when it comes to such matters.”

Will finds himself contemplating the psychiatrist’s words, feeling an intense frustration at the answer, despite knowing that Hannibal will never offer more. He wants to ask further questions, to keep digging for answers, but the words won’t form. He’s been given an answer. For better or worse, that will have to be enough.

He speaks, his voice barely registering above a whisper, “Thank you.”

“Do you fantasize about killing me, Will?”

“Yes.” Now, more than ever.

Hannibal raises an eyebrow, his eyes studying the other man carefully. The question hangs in the air for a silent moment, the two men locked in a tense staring contest. Will breaks his gaze, his eyes dropping to his lap. There’s an uncomfortably long pause, one that leaves him feeling more exposed than he ever has.

The psychiatrist speaks again, his voice carefully measured but still carrying a hint of curiosity, “Tell me. How would you do it?”

Will feels an intense surge of anxiety, the idea of sharing his murderous fantasies almost too much to bear. His heart beats rapidly, his breaths come short and shallow, and his palms are damp with sweat. He hesitates, taking a deep breath in an failed attempt to settle his nerves.

Finally, he answers, his voice trembling slightly as he speaks, “With my hands.”

“Then we haven’t moved past apologies and forgiveness, have we?” Hannibal studies his face quietly for a moment, his eyes scanning Will’s features, searching for any hint of deceit.

“We’ve moved past a lot of things. I discovered a truth about myself when I tried to have you killed,” Will says slowly, a hint of reluctance in his voice. 

Hannibal’s gaze remains unwavering, a steady, almost calming presence. He’s unfazed by Will’s blunt statement, his face uncommonly relaxed as he listens.

“That doing bad things to bad people makes you feel good?”

Will blinks and nods, a tinge of surprise in his eyes. No one has spoken this truth before, not even himself. But the words seem to provide a sense of closure. There is no judgment, no criticism; merely a statement of fact, a mutual understanding.

“Yes.”

“I need to know if you’re going to try to kill me again, Will.”

“I don’t want to kill you anymore, Dr. Lecter.” The man swallows and shakes his head. “Not now that I finally find you interesting.”

There’s an intense silence between them, Hannibal’s face betraying no sign of shock or surprise at the confession. The man merely listens calmly, processing Will’s words as he studies the man’s every feature.

“Your honesty is both refreshing and concerning,” the psychiatrist says with surprising ease.

“Thank my wife. She makes an honest man out of me.”

As you lie asleep in your bed, the quiet of the night envelops you, broken only by the gentle hum of the old bedside lamp and the crackling of the fireplace. You’re lost in a dreamless slumber, your mind temporarily free from the weight of the day’s responsibilities. It’s probably the best sleep you’ve had in a while. Sadly, it doesn’t last long.

The shrill ring of your phone shatters the stillness, jolting you awake with a start. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, you fumble for your phone on the bedside table, heart pounding with a mixture of confusion and apprehension.

With a groan, you swipe to answer the call, your voice husky with sleep as you mutter a tired, “Hello?”

On the other end, Jack’s voice crackles through the line, urgent and insistent. “Agent Avant, we need you at the crime scene immediately. There’s been a development in the case.”

The words cut through the fog of drowsiness, instantly sharpening your focus. You sit up in bed, running a hand through your tousled hair as you process Jack’s message. “What kind of development?”

“I can’t discuss it over the phone. I’ll send you the adress. Get here as soon as you can.”

“Understood,” you reply, your tone firm and decisive. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

With a sense of urgency, you throw off your covers and swing your legs over the side of the bed. You reach for your clothes, hastily dressing in the dim glow of the bedside lamp, your mind already racing with possibilities. You grab your badge and gun, slipping them into their accustomed places on your belt, and make your way to the door.

As you step out into the cool night air, you feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins. Though weary from the abrupt interruption to your rest, you know that duty calls, and you’re ready to answer it with unwavering resolve, just like in the good old days.

With each step towards your car, you embrace the night’s unexpected summons, steeling yourself for the challenges that lie ahead. In the world of law enforcement, there’s no such thing as ordinary hours—only the relentless pursuit of justice, no matter the hour or the cost. Oh, how you hate it.

You slide into the driver’s seat of your car, the engine rumbling to life beneath you as you buckle up and prepare to head to the address Jack has sent you. You’re glad to have your own car back; depending on Will wouldn’t do you any good in situations like this.

Before pulling away, you instinctively reach for your phone, hoping for a message from your husband to ease your mind.

As the soft glow of the screen illuminates your face, you quickly navigate to your messages, heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and dread. But as you scan through the notifications, disappointment washes over you—there are no new messages from Will, and he isn’t home either.

A knot forms in the pit of your stomach, a nagging sense of worry gnawing at your thoughts. You remind yourself that Will was never one to provide constant updates on his whereabouts. He’s always been independent, often immersed in his work with little regard for the passage of time. Yet the silence from him tonight feels different somehow, unsettling in its absence.

Pushing aside your concerns for the moment, you tuck your phone back into your pocket and focus on the road ahead. There will be time to address your worries later, but for now, duty calls, and you must answer—no matter the personal cost. With a determined set to your jaw, you shift into gear and press on into the night. Having agreed to return to work for Crawford, you’re determined to give it your all.

“We found Sarah Craber’s grave and fifteen others,” Jack Crawford informs you the moment you step out of the vehicle.

“Fifteen?” you repeat, unable to hide the stunned note in your voice. You knew the killer had murdered others before Sarah Craber, but the discovery of fifteen additional victims is shocking on a whole different level. “How long has he been active?”

Jack’s face is grim, his expression somber as he speaks. “The earliest victim was buried eight years ago. The most recent grave is only two weeks old.”

You dare to focus your eyes on the crime scene behind your boss’ back. The sight in front of you takes your breath away—not in a good way.

The dim light of the night provides only limited visibility, casting the landscape in shadows and silhouettes. Yet, the shapes around you paint a clear picture, a horrifying image of a killer’s work. 

You can see the dug-out graves, dotted here and there—the final resting places of his victims. You can see the rows of police tape, marking off a boundary that no one is allowed to cross. You can see the solemn faces of the technicians, the detectives, the forensics, and other members of the investigative team.

“Fucking hell, Crawford.”

There’s a beat of silent hesitation before he continues, “And I’m afraid it gets even worse—”

You look at him with wide eyes, annoyance bubbling up beneath the surface of your skin. “You said I didn’t have to look at the bodies. You said that to me, Jack.”

“I said you didn’t have to get close to the bodies,” he corrects you with a hint of irritation. “But you’ll have to see them, at least from a distance. We have to assess the situation, and you’re our best profiler. It’s your job.”

“I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Didn’t you? You came back to the agency. This is what we do. You know that.”

“Yes, I came back. But you said I wouldn’t have to see the bodies.”

Jack sighs, a hint of impatience in his voice. “I thought I could shield you from that side of it, but it’s not worth risking your expertise when you can make a valuable contribution here.”

You feel your blood boil as you duck under the police tape and head toward the graves. “Let’s just get this fucking done,” you mutter through gritted teeth, your frustration evident in every word.

As you make your way toward the nearest body, the reality of the situation begins to sink in. It’s one thing to know that a serial killer has been active in this community for years, but it’s a completely different thing to actually see the proof of his crimes. The graves offer no comforting illusion—they’re real, and they represent the brutal truth and senselessness of the killer’s actions.

As you gaze upon the rows of bodies, or rather what was left of them, a realization dawns upon you with striking clarity.

“They’re all women?” you remark, the observation coming swiftly and without hesitation as your eyes sweep over the somber landscape.

Each marker bears testament to the lives lost, their identities hidden by the earth until this moment. There’s a solemnity in the uniformity of the graves, a shared narrative of female lives cut short, each one a story untold and a voice silenced.

In that moment, amidst the hushed whispers of the wind and the solemn rustle of leaves, you can’t help but feel a pang of sorrow for the women who now rest beneath the earth, their stories lost to time but not forgotten.

“Alright, he got comfortable.”

“Too comfortable?” Jack questions, eyebrow raised, ready to find out if you’re close to catching the serial killer.

You nod in agreement. “Way too comfortable.”

When a predator becomes comfortable, it means they believe they’re in control. And when they’re think they’re in control, they’re more likely to make mistakes.

The killer’s overconfidence in his ability to evade detection is evident. He’s been operating for years, right under your noses, taking the lives of innocent women and burying them in shallow graves that are easy to uncover once people start paying attention. You realize that this killer has been playing a dangerous game long enough to develop a deep sense of hubris; he truly believes he’s invincible. Arrogance seeps from every part of his crimes.

“So, it’s not Peter Bernardone?”

You crouch nearby one of the dug-out holes and observe as a forensic inspects the decomposing body. “Tell me, Jack, does Peter Bernardone ooze arrogance?”

Jack ignores your snarky remark as he considers your question for a moment, his expression thoughtful. “I wouldn’t say so,” he decides. “Quite the opposite.”

“You really had to think about that one, huh?” You snort and shake your head in disbelief. “That man is a sheep, Jack. And this was done by a big bad wolf.”

Jack allows himself to crack a small smile at your analogy. “You’re right, this doesn’t fit Peter Bernardone; the arrogance doesn’t match the man. But there are a few others I have my eye on.”

“No, I don’t think he’s one of them.” 

Jack raises an eyebrow. “I’m interested to know who you think it is then.”

“How the hell would I know?” you retort, shrugging your shoulders in frustration.

“Your job is to figure that out,” Jack scolds you, growing tired of your complaints and excuses. “So what are you going to do now, Agent Avant?”

“I—” you start, then stand back up with a sigh. “I will find a bottle of good booze to lull me to sleep today.”

Jack’s face softens at the joke, the slightest hint of a smile gracing his lips. “That sounds like a plan. I don’t suppose you’re going to share?”

“You’re welcome anytime, boss.”

Jack nods, then gestures for you to continue examining the bodies. “Go on. We’re not done here yet.”

“Thought sharing the booze meant we’re ditching,” you mumble in resignation.

“Not until we’re finished here.” Jack indicates the bodies in front of you. “This is hardly the kind of case where you can get drunk and call it a day, Agent Avant. We still have work to do.”

“Alrighty.”

When you return home, the cold seems to have intensified. You lock the car, clutching a bottle of cheap wine under your arm. Sure, you could have splurged on something better, but right now, good taste isn’t your priority. You are aiming for a one-way ticket to Drunkville, with fingers crossed that the morning hangover won’t be too punishing.

The cold air nips at your cheeks, the bottle of wine under your arm a tangible reminder of the purpose of your excursion. You seek a distraction, anything to divert your mind from the day’s grim events. Yet, even as you hum a lighthearted tune, your thoughts stubbornly gravitate back to the graves and the haunting visages of the deceased women interred in the damp soil.

A complex array of emotions churns within you—grief, anger, irritation... perhaps even a touch of admiration? It was an unsettling sensation, one that you had experienced all too often before.

You dare to look ahead, your eyes tracing the outline of the forest behind the house, barely visible in the darkness of the night. It’s a mistake.

As soon as your gaze settles on the trees, you hear a faint scream emanating from that direction. You try to convince yourself it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you, but you can’t shake the feeling of unease that settles over you.

The scream gives you pause, causing you to hesitate on the icy pavement. You entertain the fleeting thought that it might be your tired mind, but then it comes again—a desperate cry for help echoing from somewhere near the woods behind the house. The sound sends a chill down your spine, a stark reminder of your solitude in this desolate place.

Despite knowing better, your legs carry you forward through the clearing behind the house, drawing you closer and closer to the trees where the sound originated. The urgency in the scream compels you to move, your heart pounding in your chest as you approach the edge of the forest.

Your footsteps are unsteady on the icy ground as you pause just outside the woods, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness. The dense trees obscure your vision, and the faint light barely penetrates the forest, leaving your visibility limited to mere feet around you. You press on, determined to uncover the source of the distressing sound.

The screaming fades into silence, leaving only the sound of your own unsteady breathing echoing in the stillness of the night. You slip further into the woods, each step cautious and deliberate, the snow crunching under your boots. Despite the chill in the air, your clothes provide little warmth against the biting cold, and the shelter of the trees does little to shield you from the relentless wind.

The wind carries the cold air deep into your lungs, making your breath come out in cloudy puffs. Your coat offers little protection, and you feel the wind whistling through it, chilling your body to the core.

You take a few more steps, the trees growing thicker around you with each passing moment. 

You pause, listening intently, trying to discern the direction from which the cries for help emanated. But in the silence of the night, your own heavy breathing is the only sound that reaches your ears. 

The shrill of a scream shatters the stillness of the air, bursting through right behind your back, no more than a few feet away. It’s so loud that you instinctively cover your ears, feeling the jolt reverberate through your entire body.

In the chaos, the bottle of wine slips from your grasp, crashing to the ground and shattering upon impact with a nearby rock. Red wine splashes onto your boots and calves, staining the pristine snow with dark splotches.

You gape at the scene with wide eyes, heart racing in your chest as adrenaline floods your system. Your whirl around in an instant, your eyes scanning the area for any sign of the origin of the scream.

But the woods remain still, enveloped in an eerie silence, with only the moonlight filtering through the trees, casting shifting shadows that seem to dance around you. A shiver runs down your spine as you become acutely aware of just how isolated you are in this dark forest, surrounded by unknown dangers.

Your legs carry you as fast as they can, propelling you back the way you came, away from the ominousness of the forest. Panic surges through you, urging you to flee, to escape the darkness closing in around you.

Every step feels like an eternity as you race through the woods, your heart pounding in your chest, the echo of the scream still ringing in your ears. All you can think about is getting away, getting back to safety, away from whatever lurks in the shadows. Your senses are on high alert, every rustle of leaves and crack of twigs makes you jump.

The darkness seems to press in on you from all sides, suffocating and oppressive. Adrenaline courses through your veins, fueling your desperate flight through the underbrush.

You can’t see what’s behind you, but you can feel its presence, a looming specter haunting your every step. Terror grips you in its icy grasp, driving you onward, even as your legs threaten to give out beneath you. You push through the pain, pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion in your frantic bid for escape.

You look behind you, but all you can see is darkness. You’re just about to reach the clearing when you collide with someone with so much force that it takes both of you down.

Your breath rushes out in a startled gasp as you scramble to disentangle yourself from the other person, heart hammering in your chest. With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you push yourself away from them, scrambling backward on all fours until you’re a safe distance away. Panic surges within you, making your movements frantic as you try to orient yourself in the darkness. The shadows obscure the details, making it difficult to see who or what has you so rattled.

The person mutters your name in panic. It’s Will.

The instant you hear the familiar voice, you know that you’re safe—that whatever was chasing you is gone. You let out a shaky sigh and release the tension in your muscles, suddenly realizing how close you were to losing control of the situation.

But his sudden appearance leaves you confused, and you can’t help but ask, “What are you doing out here?”

“I heard your scream. Are you alright?” He stumbles in your direction in panic, hands outstretched to grab your arms.

The confusion only grows as you listen to his question, certain that you never made a sound. You didn’t scream, yet he’s insistent that he heard it. And even though you know your voice would be distinctive in the silence of the woods, he still seems to be under the impression that you were the one who called out for him.

“I didn’t scream,” you insist, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggle to make sense of the situation. “I heard it too, but it wasn’t me.”

You don’t know what to make of it, and the uncertainty makes your nerves flare. You start backing away from his touch, keeping an eye on him as you try to make sense of what’s happening.

“I don’t understand,” you murmur, your voice trembling slightly with a mixture of fear and confusion. “I didn’t scream. It wasn’t me.”

“What do you mean you didn’t scream?” He seems taken aback by your response, his gaze darting around as he tries to process what you’re saying. “I ran here as fast as I could after I heard you. Are you trying to tell me I imagined it?”

You can feel the tension in his voice, the confusion mirrored in his expression. There’s a palpable sense of urgency in his demeanor, as if he’s desperately trying to make sense of the situation.

You shake your head vigorously, repeating like a mantra, “It wasn’t me.”

“Then who was it?” He glances around the woods again, searching for clues in the darkness. “Who else could be out here?”

“Let’s go home,” you say, ignoring his question and rising to your feet with the help of his steady arms.

Your legs still feel shaky after the run through the woods, and you lean on his arms for support as you try to regain your bearings. The cold air nips at your cheeks, making it hard to breathe, and the sudden burst of adrenaline has left you feeling exhausted. You let him guide you toward the house, not wanting to spend another moment in the dark woods.

“Don’t ever let me near those woods again,” you mutter, the words tumbling out without thought. Your voice trembles with a mix of fear and frustration, the events of the past few hours weighing heavily on your mind.

As you take the final few steps toward the house, you’re grateful to be out of the forest, but a lingering unease gnaws at you. Something about the whole evening feels off, and the fact that Will is here only adds to your discomfort.

As his arms envelop you, you feel a creeping unease settle over you, intensifying with each passing moment. His embrace should be reassuring, but instead, it triggers a disturbing sense of déjà vu. In this moment, you find yourself unable to be reassured by anyone or anything.

His eyes seem to darken, and before your startled gaze, antlers begin to emerge from his head, a surreal and terrifying transformation unfolding before your eyes.

The longer he holds you, the more your anxiety mounts, until you can no longer bear it, pulling away sharply, desperate to escape the unsettling sensations gripping you. Blinking in disbelief, you look back at him, finding no trace of the eerie transformation you just witnessed.

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[khaire-traveler]

The Nine Muses

This is a very simple post about the Muses in hopes of explaining who they are, what their domains are, and some things they may be able to help with. This post isn't a deep dive by any means - just a simple introduction. Enjoy!

Who are the Muses?

The Muses, or Mousai, are goddesses of inspiration for various creative, scientific, and poetic endeavors. They were believed to also have knowledge of all things that have come to pass, remembering events with clarity that mortals could not hope to have. Their names are Kalliope, Kleio, Ourania, Thaleia, Melpomene, Polymnia, Erato, Euterpe, and Terpsikhore.

In total, there are nine Muses. The god Apollon was often believed to be the leader of the Muses, having a very close connection with them. The goddess Artemis was also paired with them.

Their origin and family varied depending on the source, but the most common notion was that Zeus and Mnemosyne are their parents and that they were born at the foot of Mount Olympus. Some other possible parents are Ouranos and Gaia, Zeus and Plousia, Pieros and Antiope, or even Apollon.

Poets of the past used to invoke the names of the Muses in hopes of gaining inspiration and the ability to gracefully convey their words. When a connection was drawn between them and Apollo, they were also known for their prophetic abilities as well, even being said to teach the art of prophecy.

What are each of their domains?

Kalliope - The eldest of the Muses, she is the goddess of eloquence and epic poetry. She is often considered the mother of Orpheus. She was depicted with a tablet, a scroll, or (later on) a lyre. Her name has been translated to mean "beautiful-voiced".

Kleio - Wise and intelligent, she is named the goddess of history. In art, she was often depicted with an open scroll or chest full of books. Her name was translated as "to make famous".

Ourania - Associated with the stars, she is the goddess of astronomy and astronomical writings. She has been depicted pointing at a celestial globe with a rod, but I wasn't able to find more information on her symbols. Her name means "heavenly one".

Thaleia - A goddess that helps bring joy to the world, she is the goddess of comedy and bucolic poetry. She was also considered to be the mother of the Korybantes (a group of seven demigods). She was often depicted with a comedy mask, a shepherd's staff, or a wreath of ivy. Her name has been translated as "festivity" or "blooming".

Melpomene - Holding a domain more somber than the Muse above, she is the goddess of tragedy. She was named the mother of the Sirens by Apollodorus. She was depicted with a tragedy mask, a sword, a wreath of ivy, or cothurnus boots. Her name likely means "to celebrate with song (and dance)".

Polymnia - With a name meaning "many hymns" or "many praises", it's no surprise that she's the goddess of religious hymns. She was often portrayed in a meditative pose.

Erato - A Muse that needs no introduction, she is the goddess of erotic poetry and mime. She was often portrayed with a lyre. Her name means "lovely" or "beloved".

Euterpe - Likely full of rhymes and reasons, she is the goddess of lyric poetry. She was often depicted with a double flute. Her name likely means "well pleasing" or "giver of much delight".

Terpsikhore - Filled with music, she is the goddess of choral song and dancing. She was often depicted with a lyre and plectrum. Her name has been translated to "delighting in dance".

Kalliope - Speaking presentations, writing essays, script reading, reading/writing informational posts/articles/etc., interpreting poetry, poetry writing/reading, sharing your own poetry, communicating clearly with others, important conversations, coping with conflicts, addressing conflicts, making peace with others.

What are some things they can help with specifically?

***These are merely suggestions.***

Kleio - History exams/tests, studying classics/history, delving into your own history, discovering family history, recalling past events, writing myth retellings or similar, identifying patterns of behavior, releasing the past, learning from the past, finding hope for the future.

Ourania - Studying the stars/space, story-telling, understanding the universe around us, memorizing constellations, finding peace in the night, finding hope in the darkness, creating goals for yourself, "reaching for the stars", holding onto your wishes, finding a sense of direction.

Thaleia - Creating your own joy, finding what makes you happy, performing stand-up comedy, writing any form of comedy, play-writing, healthy positivity, learning to laugh things off, releasing stress/burdens, moving forward, expressing your joy.

Melpomene - Coping with hardships, moving through difficult times, releasing the past, forgiving oneself, coping with past mistakes/regret, healing from difficult events, coping with the "downs" of life, play-writing, telling tragic tales, addressing difficult topics sensitively.

Polymnia - Writing devotional poetry/hymns/songs/etc., growing closer with religion/devotion, inspiration for offerings/devotional acts, coping with religious difficulties, finding comfort/joy in religion, connecting with the divine, religious/spiritual writings, connecting with your practice.

Erato - Love letters, confessing your feelings through writings/songs/etc., connecting with sexuality, writing/reading erotic stories, communicating sexual needs, establishing/discovering sexual boundaries, sex positivity (especially through literature), embracing your sexual interests.

Euterpe - Writing poetry, interpreting poetry, communicating one's emotions, romanticizing life, sharing poetry with others, devotional poetry, expressing one's feelings through writing, processing emotions, finding the "right word" for a piece you're writing.

Terpsikhore - Song-writing, learning to dance, expressing yourself through dance/song, connecting with music, processing feelings with musical aid, instrument playing, choral/instrumental performances, writing a musical, musical theater, finding your voice, embracing who you are, expressing yourself.

[xanderjkz]

Charlie Dalton- Misery Behind Walls

I finally figured out what makes Charlie's character such an interesting one (from my perspective)

There are alot of interpretations of his character but what the fandom can agree the most on is that this mf cares about his friends. Almost in a way that is above regular standard.

Okay sounds weird but why did I say it when it's never really shown? Well he often is in the moment when the other poet has a breakthrough in the movie. When evil Tom literally made Neil's day worse, he was the first to speak to him. But to base this little theory on a bigger proof I'd like you to remind the only scene where this big care is vocalised:

"Fiete you're going insane!" I'll be not be misinformed about my state of mind! Let's move on! He literally asks so many damn questions that Knox gets annoyed with it. And the tone Charlie uses in that scene isn't one to mock him or put Knox in question. He's just curious if Knox has thought this through. Because he cares!

But why? What is so damn interesting about this dude caring? What makes Charlie the way he is?

Charlie somewhat hides his care for his friends behind the nice wall of Humour. Humour is beautiful, it's Twistingly and contently a nice way of escapism. Humour is provoking a peal of laughter out of someone and that's what Charlie does. But over the years when you use this way of coping you start to twist in the wrong way. It's a wonder how anyone who uses this type of coping mechanism can even recognise themselves in the mirror. After a while, you hide your internal feelings behind a wall too. For yourself you become unrecognisable.

But why?

It's established in the first 10 minutes of the movie that Charlie is from a family of bankers who are fond of him continuing the legacy. And we know that he is from a wealthy family. And most wealthy kid trope in media follows the structure of pressure and unobtainable views. Wealthy people don't want to be touched by anything lower. So they have to obtain this image of untouchability. This is probably the way Charlie has been raised. Money is more important. And like most wealthy kids, they get neglected for that money.

Every kid wants love. And this is what Charlie probably chased. And still is. And love can be interpreted in lots of ways but as I see in myself, I always tried to get attention so they think of me. If they can't love me, then I should at least linger on their minds. So what's the quickest way to gain attention and potential Recognition?

(Here he more tries to loud than funny but the need for the same thing is still there)

He started to build his personality in a way that would later bring him to complete self-isolation. He doesn't give a fuck about money. And he most definitely doesn't want to go down the same way his father did. But something in him always wanted that recognition, so he didn't go against anything.

But then Keating happened

So we made clear that something inside him can't separate personality from coping, right? So what happens when a teacher comes around with the opinion to go against the system? Doubt? Anger? Or fascination?

Visionary

Charlie, if asked, def would've told you that life comes to him how it wants to be. As long as he makes his friends happy, then he is fine. Not happy but fine. So when Keating tries to bring new things into the mix, everybody began to rethink their story.

Todd got more comfortable

Neil pursued something he always wanted

Knox got the guts to ask a girl out

So what's up for Charlie? He becomes vulnerable with himself. As he lost his personality in humour so did the familiarity with himself. So every lesson he becomes more bold and Indulgent in poetry and the revolution.

But a journey to find oneself takes long. God a 16-year-old won't find it within 4 months. But for what it's worth he tries. Throughout the movie, these boys drift apart from tradition and self-destructive ideologies. The first time Charlie makes this change in his consciousness is this one:

(Love how he looks in the angle)

Doing poetry doesn't bring attention to himself, not in the way we established he needs. So why is he doing this now?

"You yap too much, we get it" well fuck you, I'm getting to the better part

The reason for his somewhat impulsive reaction is the way he saw himself in Keating. Keating is a poet, but Charlie at first doesn't care about that. What he does care about is the cheeky way Keating moves his lips. From the comments about Meeks and Pitts names to the way he openly makes a name for himself. He thinks of Keating as this older version of himself. And he doesn't know what to do with it.

(Again this is going on in his head without him actually verbalising it to himself. Everybody does that, just writing it down)

So now this boy is chasing something he thinks can bring him to the Keating kind of level. In this path, he slowly becomes more radical with his thoughts, in a way that is pushing things over the edge. But in a boiling kind of way.

First, we have him ripping out the page. Then, the playboy scene and then this one:

I'd like to believe that this was the first time that his inner self formed a sentence. In scenes before that one, he is fidgeting around, trying to really get into it. He liked what he heard. And while he is still clinging to this version poisoned on humour, he's getting out of it. BUT

This scene is where he lets himself go. And it's safe to assume that something must have happened between the pic before and now. What is it? Heck, I know. All I know is that he tested the water and realised it's alright. (Again he is a 16-year-old boy, every 16-year-old has doubts) so everytime we do see him in the cave, he's wearing the damn hat.

So what have we established:

He cares deeply for his friends

He hides his need for recognition behind jokes

He somehow lost himself in it

He sees himself in Keating

Then learns how to be his inner self again (partly)

And he's doing poetry! Or Poetrusic...

But why did I say partly? Well, this movie is called DEAD Poets Society. And who died at the end of the movie? Ofc His CHILDHOOD best friend Neil. (This is heavily implied but even if they aren't, Neil was the closest to Charlie). He was probably the first person to know about it and definitely jumped into impulsiveness. In a way where he takes over the responsibility. Let's be real if this was at the beginning of the story he would've been one to be non-functioning but after he got his punishment and faced his worst, he knew that there are things to not be self-centered about. It's obvious that Charlie told the others. I mean, these boys look so distributed that they definitely couldn't form any sentence to the others. So it is Charlie. It had to be.

But he does let his emotions out. Not vocalising them but he shows the others that he understands. Particularly in three scenes:

1.

2.

3.

( I literally wrote something AMAZING BUT FFS TUMBLR DELETED IT)

These scenes show him care and breaking. He let's his voice break while shoving snow into Todd's mouth. To clean Todd and to drown his thoughts aswell. He has to be there but God he breaks. Because he cared

He cared so damn much for Neil. And it was that stupid system that took him away. His inner self is caring, Poetic and confronting. But how?

With all his emotions that are directed at the system regarding Neil's death, he does his first rebellion. And that not singing. The singing is only a recognition of the fact that evil Tom isn't at fault. Being in the front row and not singing? Fucking provoking.

So what's next? Now that he has found his last finding piece? The confronting kind? Not the part hiding behind humour? (If you notice he hasn't cracked a joke since Neil offed. Ofc bc the times are dark but he could've said one after the funeral. But he didn't, he was just angry)

Well....

His last scene.

He knew what would happen once Cameron walked away. He knows his roommate too much. But the reason why he punched Cameron wasn't for the fact that they couldn't work it out on the remix but more for the fact that he saw Cameron as the system. As Cameron kept digging, Charlie thought that this was the way out. Every person who experienced grief knows it's all over the place and often not understandable. If I could explain it, I would say that he had the hope of starting the rebellion needed. But he couldn't.

He failed at confronting it to its most effective stage.

He managed to comfort his friends, he managed to change his mind. But sometimes confronting ends at the start.

But it was he who failed, not the mindset. It was the rest but most importantly todd who continued it...

It's sad to not hear anything after his expulsion but I think it would be even more heartbreaking. Charlie is a lot of things but the most important one is that he is a boy. Utterly experiencing things he shouldn't have. To think that he ended his time at Welton, disproving the thing he mostly cared for (which was attention to himself) just to find himself while so is...beautiful. He broke free and now has to be alone to find his future. This is both tragic and hope-fulfilling. Wherever he ended up, I hope Charlie learned to deal with Neil's death as well...

Or I'm delusional and he's just a 16-year-old boy without depth.

Again characters are always up for debate and everyone has their interpretation. I finally wrote down mine and think it's important to share. Do with it what you want but please remain polite. Except when you crack a joke

I want jokes 🔥

[bitethedevil]

something i’ve wondered often is just how much raphael’s humanity truly affects him. i know that he absolutely would do everything he could to hide it. it would be seen as a vulnerability, a weakness, to the other denizens of the hells. and it definitely seems that he believes that to be true himself.

(it makes me wonder if that’s why he sounds so pissed when you ask him why he thinks he could use the crown when karsus failed. “I AM NO MORTAL.”)

we’ve seen instances where he weaponizes his human qualities, uses them to lower the guard of his victims.

but do you think he ever has genuine human moments? whether he realizes it or not.

Raphael and Humanity

Oh, I absolutely think he has genuine human moments, but he has had many many many many years to learn to suppress all those ‘icky mortal aspects’ of himself. The “I AM NO MORTAL” quote stinks of insecurity. Which also makes perfect sense. Cambions rarely survive to adulthood because both mortals and devils absolutely hates their guts, which is why our dear cambion keeps mentioning that he’s a devil, and not as much as once does he refer to himself as a cambion or even alludes to the fact that he is half mortal (not that I can remember anyhow).

Do I think he lets himself cry or things like that in his private life? No. He’s too hardened by all those millennia of living in the Hells.

I think it’s more likely that he every now and again experiences a Mortal Feeling™ towards someone and internally goes “Ew…Anyways—” and goes on with his day.

HOWEVER, I certainly thinks that even though he is not really that capable of feeling sorry or feeling empathy for others and stuff like that, I 100% think he is capable of feeling sorry for himself. I think that if he is haunted by “mortal feelings” its usually pointed towards himself and never outward. And yeah, have fun with that thought the next time you think about the fact that he only ever wants to sleep with himself. He only allows himself to feel for himself, so that could be interpreted as him wanting to see the only person he allows himself to feel for when having sex because human-like devils can crave love (though they might not be able to give it)…Okay, I want to cry now :) on to the next point...

I also think that he uses art as an outlet for all of that, because in my opinion, his fascination with poetry, painting, and music screams human to me. We know that he likes pretty dark themes for his poetry but it’s still beautiful in a way (although it is arguably not great poetry). Clinging to a sort of dark beauty even though you live in such a grim place as the Hells seems a bit human-like to me.

(Thank you for the ask <3 That became a long one)

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Till's poem...and why it moved me a lot...

posted on Till Lindemann IG 2024-08-07.

Jegliches hat seine Zeit

Hier steh ich nun, bin sehr bereit

nichts kann mich vom Gehen halten

die Vergangenheit wirft Falten

besser später als zu spät

wenn es leider nicht mehr geht

man sollte Hut und Mantel greifen

in die weite Welt ausschweifen

neue Aussicht, weg vom Alten

nach neuen Ufern Ausschau halten

beschmiert mit Schuld verblasst in Sühne

brauch neue Farben neue Bühnen

um Verständnis bitt ich nicht

brauch auch kein anderes Gericht

das Urteil stand schon fest am Tag

bevor man mich zur Nacht befragt

einzig Licht da in der Not

Fackeln wie in „ROSENROT“*

Wort und Stimmung unterkühlt

noch nie so einsam mich gefühlt

liegt das Leben erst in Scherben

weiter weiter ins Verderben

Der Wald verbrannt

Nichts mehr zu roden

doch Asche ist der beste Boden

hoffnungsvoll aus ihr zu steigen

voller Dank mich hier verneigen

so fällt es gar nicht leicht zu gehen

die Zeit mit Euch war wirklich schön.

In Liebe und Respekt

Till

*Musikvideo Rammstein

--‐---‐---------------------------

It has already been posted on Tumblr, and i considered commenting on that, but decided not to, so as not to offend or aggravate anyone with my personal opinion on it, because I have on occassion been critical or at the very least hesitant about Till and Till's behaviour in the last couple of years (starting already from 2019)

When the allegations happened and in the year since then, i was on occasion doubtful when i saw Till referring to it as "it will blow over", feeling maybe his usual 'fuck it all' attitude was a bit misplaced because it wasn't just him who was involved, but the others in the band as well, feeling maybe he didn't care that much about that aspect of it all.

I love Till's poetry, maybe even more than some of his songs, he is such a born poet, can describe feelings, emotions, situations with such raw, well chosen words. Not needing pages and pages of flowery words, but exactly enough to get to the core, to the heart of things. I love that he is wellread, uses many reference from the classics, from German history, German literature etc.

But this, this is more...

this to me is really Till opening up. Straight from his heart, no metaphores, no alter-persona, this is him about himself. How he has been hurt by it all, how much it brought him down, how unfair he felt treated, without throwing accusations back at his accusers. How cold and lonely it has been, even though we know he always has people around him, always travelling with friends, i can't help but feel the coldness was also felt within the six-men-marriage Rammstein itself, at least for a while. Towards the end of the poem he sounds hopeful, growing again from the ashes, grateful.

How to interpret the last two lines "It's really not easy to go, the time with you was really beautiful"; is he saying goodbye? To us? To Rammstein? To the stadiumtour-years with all it's ups and downs? To his old lifestyle? I don't know. The latest post on Rammstein official makes me hopeful it is not Rammstein at least. Maybe we'll hear more soon, maybe we won't. We can only wait and see.

I hope he has someone with him, a friend, family, someone who really loves him for himself. And i hope he is okay ❤️

[joesalw]

Some good comment on this 1830s line from reddit thread about swifties harassing Maitreyi Ramakrishnan:

As someone with a masters in poetry, who has analyzed, graded, and critiqued poems, lyrics, and lyrical prose, it 💯 seems like the work of a younger white student just starting out, romanticizing a random decade bc it would make them seem deep. During workshop someone will mention that time period wasn’t so great for POC, and then the writer will stick on “but without all the racists” and think that solves the whole problem, when that’s only part of the issue to begin with.

ETA I’m getting a lot of messages from people who are supplying me with the lyrics in context, which admittedly I had not seen before. I took a look and I remain unconvinced at the assurances that the lyrics are doing the opposite of what I had first interpreted.

If this song were in front of me during workshop, I would absolutely inform the writer that because of a lack of clarity, this could be interpreted in a variety of ways. I would then ask:

“Nostalgia’s a mind trick” for whom, and why?

Because nostalgia isn’t a mind trick for marginalized communities.

It’s whiteness and privilege that allows for nostalgia in the first place. It’s whiteness and privilege that would write about “the highest bid” as referring to marriage and not chattel slavery during a time of literal chattel slavery while referencing the time period’s racists in the same stanza/verse. (If marriage as the highest bid is a metaphor for sexism and transactional marriages, the metaphor fails in context).

It’s whiteness and privilege to tell a story about a speaker being supposedly so aware of their whiteness and privilege that they educate their friends on it during a game (which also implies they never played this game with someone who was a member of a marginalized community, a game that with the lyric “used to play” implies it was played fairly regularly for a time), but concludes that “nostalgia is a mind trick” without adding that it’s only a mind trick for those immersed in privilege.

This is emphasized by “Seems like it was never even fun back then.” This line implies that at one point, it seemed fun to the speaker.

“If I’d been there, I’d hate it.” I would let the writer know that I as a reader am not convinced of this conclusion due to a seemingly lack of comprehension on the speaker’s part. I would let them know many readers would interpret this lack of comprehension as willful ignorance. If that is the writer’s intention, then proceed, if not, a revision is in order.

!