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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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[ 1.. 2.. 3.. Mod Coffee speaking Mod Tea speaking! you can use it for anything to be honest, Tea completely understands how it feels to be in a terrifying place, but as long as you're on the safe side you'll be alright!] {Coffee suggests you should post some of your Dandy's world art and try to talk about your au and head cannons, people will love it, promise! take all the time you need until you gain the courage, we'll root for you in the backgrounds!} @smilingberryy @vampirepherom0ans @kira-anomaly @azuricaurageon
what do you think guys should i use tumblr for once what do i even do SOCIAL MEDIA IS SO INTIMIDATING SCREAMS AND PUNCHES WOOD
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Welcome to Fortuna, Kingdom of Splendor!
demo • FAQs • bsky
You are the bastard child of the king’s cousin, you’ve never been anyone special. The Crown made sure of that. Taken in by your father after the death of your mother, you were never allowed to speak of your parentage under threat of being sent to an orphanage, so you took on the role of servant to your father's house. Now, just before your thirtieth birthday, you’ve begun having a strange, recurring dream: something beneath the mountains knows your name—something ancient—and it wants you to find it. But the stone isn’t the only thing after you. According to your oldest friend, an elite team of sorcerers from a group known as SCEPTRE are interested in speaking with you—by order of the king. And that's nothing to say of the rumblings of discontent in the streets, led by someone known only as the Crow. Apparently, they've got eyes on you, too. Why have you suddenly become the centre of attention? You’re nobody special. …Aren’t you?
Fortuna Favours the Bold is a low fantasy, high stakes, romance forward tale about self-discovery and buried secrets. Unearth the truth of what waits under the mountain, find out who you really are, and try not to get yourself blown up along the way!
It draws inspiration from media like Dragon Age: Origins, House of the Dragon, the Elder Scrolls series, as well as a myriad of Dungeons & Dragons campaigns I've been a part of, and other similar stories. If you like any of those, you might like Fortuna!
Fortuna is currently a WIP and, as always, is subject to change!
Play as male, female, or non-binary; gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual!
Get caught up in a government conspiracy, or expose the corruption within!
Choose from six characters to romance: a chivalrous blacksmith, a charming physician, a socialite lawyer, the captain of the guard, the soft-spoken acolyte, or your mage friend from childhood!
Determine the ultimate fate of the kingdom! Will you lead it to ruin, or improve the state of affairs? Will you be a hero of the people, or a pawn in someone else's game?
Protect yourself, protect your loved ones, protect the city - or don't!
But above all, remember to keep the peace. The Crown thanks you for your cooperation.
Fortuna is rated 18+ for explicit language, sexual content, alcohol and drug use, violence, morally questionable behaviour, and more.
For a full list of content warnings, please see below the cut.
CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual situations (optionally explicit), abuse of power, sexism, misogyny, (occasionally graphic) depictions of violence, elements of horror, unreality, mentions of suicide, classism, alcohol and drug use, mentions of upsetting situations regarding pregnancy (abortions, miscarriages, stillborns, infertility, and birthing complications), confined and dark spaces, and death.
There may be some I've missed, but I've listed all the ones that I know for certain off the top of my head. Please reach out if there's something you've noticed that isn't listed here!
Please note that the MC is 29, almost 30; the most significant age gap is 9 years. Please do not message me about this. Everyone involved in the story is a consenting adult and is treated as such. If the gap in age bothers you, don't feel compelled to read it. I won't be upset.
I, myself, am 30 years old, and am fine with all listed age differences (obviously. I created these characters lol).
Now that that's out of the way, meet the ROs!:
Malcolm Ashford, 36 [M]
The primary blacksmith for the Crown ever since they took over his forge, though he's not exactly happy about it. Malcolm is a good, honourable sort; kindhearted and genuine, he's easy to approach and talk to. He is also the biggest hopeless romantic - a fact that Cyril never lets him forget. He can primarily be found at the forge in the centre of the courtyard marketplace.
Malcolm is 6'4" (193 cm), broad shouldered, muscular, and usually covered in some sort of soot. He has fair skin (but is usually sporting an intense farmer's tan), shoulder length light brown hair, a light beard, dark grey eyes, and a beauty mark just above his upper left lip.
His face claim is Eoin Macken.
Cyril Trevelyan, 34 [M]
An old friend of Malcolm's. If anyone asks, Cyril is a "non-practicing" physician. Previously a member of the Royal Physician's Guild, he has since left and now operates an illegal clinic in the lower quarters of the capital, where he can primarily be found, though he has been known to frequent a local tavern and can occasionally be spotted harassing Malcolm at the forge. Cyril is charming, outgoing, and would love to get to know you. Just don't expect him to be very forthcoming about himself.
Cyril is 6'2" (187 cm), with an athletic build. He has tan skin, short, cropped black hair, stubble, and hazel eyes. He has a small scar across his left eyebrow and another small scar through his upper lip.
His face claim is Miguel Ángel Silvestre.
Dominic / Dominica Trevelyan, 38 [M/F]
Cyril's older sibling and the current Commandant of the King's Army. They care about the citizens of Requiem, but are less idealistic than Cyril about how to go about bringing change. They generally mean well and try to make things as easy as possible for the masses, but it isn't always seen as enough. Their relationship with Cyril is... tense. To say the least. They are taciturn and serious, and could probably do with some lightening up.
D is 6'4" (193 cm) (M) / 6'1" (185 cm) (F). They are broad shouldered and a little paunchy, but muscular, strong, and a force to be reckoned with in battle. They have tan skin like their brother, short, black hair that they keep slicked back from their face, and light brown eyes.
Their face claims are Keon Alexander and Rosa Gilmore.
James Johnathan / Jane Josephine 'J.J.' St. James, 28 [M/F]
JJ is a notable lawyer from the noble St. James household, though they aren't typically the first one that comes to mind when the St. James name is brought up. No, that luxury would go to just about anyone else in their family, given JJ is the only one without magic. They're a hard worker, extremely diligent, but have just a teensy tiny chip on their shoulder. They're a bit smarmy, but there is a good heart in there. Somewhere.
JJ is 5'10" (177 cm) (M) / 5'8" (173 cm) (F). They have a lean, athletic build, pale skin, light blue eyes, and copper-brown hair.
Their face claims are Richard Madden and Philipine Urvois.
Amaryllis / Amaranthus Calyx, 30 [F/M]*
One of the royal twins, but also an acolyte to the Divine Valentine, goddess of mercy. They have chosen to dedicate their time to the Temple of the Divines, honing their healing magic and providing succor to those in need, emulating all the virtues Valentine embodies. They are soft spoken and kind, but sheltered and naive. They want to help, but have an impressive lack of self-awareness and preservation, and are more likely to get themselves into trouble unintentionally. Hopefully, you won't have to babysit them too much.
A is 5'10" (177 cm) (F) / 6'0" (183 cm) (M). Amaryllis has a slight, willowy build, shoulder length, dark brown hair that she wears in a bob, a small dusting of freckles across the nose, and dark brown eyes that (like most members of the royal family) are ringed with gold. Amaranthus has a lean, athletic build, short, dark brown hair kept neat and styled back from his face, and the same dark brown gold-ringed eyes as his sister. He also wears glasses, though he's constantly forgetting where he put them.
Their face claims are Adeline Rudolph and Kenta Sakurai.
*Unlike the other gender selectable ROs, A's gender setting determines which of the two twins you end up encountering as opposed to deciding the gender for one character. The other will appear in the story regardless, but will not be romanceable if you select the opposite gender. The other twin has a separate job, position, and demeanour and an entirely different personality from the chosen romanceable one, which will be determined by who you select as RO.
Elliott 'Eli' / Eleanor 'Ellie' Rosefinch, 30 [M/F]
Your oldest friend and most trusted confidant, they've known you since you were twelve and you've been thick as thieves since. They're one of the very few magic users in the capital, and have been recruited into SCEPTRE, the kingdom's elite training program for budding sorcerers. They're down to earth and easygoing, grounded, and calm under fire. They tend towards being the far more rational of the two of you.
E is 5'11" (180 cm), with a dancer's build. They have brown skin, short, curly black hair, brown eyes, and sparse freckling.
Their face claims are Dev Patel and Nikita Chadha.
#ngl JJ's name is my favourite bc its just goofy and fun LMAO#i really just thought it was amusing to have a character named james st. james lol#but malcolm is my favourite RO bc he caters to Me Specifically#unfortunately i am biased ab him#how the hell do i tag this#int fic#interactive fiction#i track: fortuna favours#WITH A U!!! don't forget the U!!#fortuna favours the bold#fortuna if#IDK???? ive never tagged anything in my life except for jokes and commentary#i dont know how to promo 😔#please support my wild ass endeavors#fortuna favours#if wip#iunno man im not good at socmed lol
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Mechi is still a bit upset about what he thinks is the death of his sister, but Kwahu is not to be deterred from his cheering-up efforts.
Only two columns, and he becomes a knight?? Sign him up!
Mechi's curiosity eventually drives him to leave the comfortable nest of grief to study the nociosphere, and he makes a good bit of progress. Perhaps we can use this sphere of pain to acquire a second chip from the war queen...?
Is it weird to make our android a mech hacker? Is that the android equivalent to a surgeon, a hypnotist, or, like... a mind-control-you-to-explode wizard?
As a gift for our new Mechanoid Mastermind, Alistair gets his own private room. He has some nice furniture, a mirror, a radio, and a lovely view of the cucumber patch out back. Ivy even decided to give him one of her teddy bears! I'm sure Alistair will name it when he awakens.
Kwahu built four columns in the thone room (two for each twin) and now The Empire wants to make Mechi a knight as well!! He's... not in the mood to be excited about it right now. If only we had something to distract him...
... Yeah, that might do it. We could even test out the nociosphere, maybe!
What do you say, hm?
First | Next | Previous
#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#had to crack open a brand new sketchbook for this one lads#the Jones boys take up a lot of paper#I like drawing them so muchhhhh <3#poor Mechi#I wonder what he'll think when he finds out his baby sister followed him?#I hope he's happy <3#Sir Kwahu and Sir Makya are fun names#I don't trust this nociosphere#it spooks me#I DO trust Alistair tho#he's a good boy#I love his lil' bedroom#and his teddy#I need suggestions for what an android might name a teddy bear#so if you can think of something...#please let me know!#don't forget to vote in the#poll#to vampire or not to vampire... that is the question#have a lovely day y'all!!!! xoxox
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DAZAI AKU AND READER DYNAMIC AGAIN 😧 not a request but i’m wondering how dazai would punish aku and if reader would be involved like forcing aku to watch as he touches them or only allowing aku to eat the come from readers 🐱 after he nuts in it. 🥱
anonnnn thank u so much for this i have SO much to say oh my gosh
tw: mentions of caning + physical assault, daddy kink, overstimulation, noncon, cuckholding kinda???, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, toxic relationships, cum eating, honestly Daddy dazai is just brutal.
words: 1.1k
SO! the punishment that i had in mind at the end of that piece specifically was actually purely physical—it was caning! really fucking brutal caning that borders on physical assault. i’m not gonna talk about it much tho because HEHE between u and i, i am currently writing a lil piece that deals with like,,, the aftermath??? and the punishment itself is kinda gotten into in that oneshot so c:
BUT I LOVE BOTH OF THESE IDEAS SOOOOO MUCH and i could totally see Daddy dazai definitely using either of these as punishment so let’s get into that because i have many Thoughts!!!
okay first of all forcing akutagawa to eat reader out only after dazai has cum in her/you is so sick and sadistic i love it SO much oh my goddd especially since you know he’d be more than eager to do it, to please Daddy, to receive that precious praise dazai is so goddamn stingy with giving him. so he’d be so fucking enthusiastic as he sucks and slurps Daddy’s thick cream from your cunt, making a real mess of his face, cheeks and chin glistening oh-so-prettily with your and Daddy’s combined essence, tongue unfurling from his mouth to clumsily lick at his own stained skin, anywhere and everywhere he can possibly reach, slick muscle flexing as he stretches it as far as he can, desperate not to waste a single drop.
and he’s holding your thighs open with such force that his fingertips are sinking into your flesh, nails carving deep crescents in their place, bruises blossoming beneath his grip, sowed deep in the tissues. your muscles ache from how unbelievably wide he’s stretched them, but he won’t let you close them, won’t even allow you a moment of rest at all, a man on a mission—your comfort doesn’t fucking matter, not when Daddy has a demand that needs to be fulfilled.
he eats you out until you’re fucking spotless, not a single ounce of Daddy’s cum anywhere, not even splattered on your inner thighs, because akutagawa, good boy that he is, sopped that up with his tongue, too. he’s almost obsessive with it, eating you until you cum again, until he’s sure your juices have flushed every last bit of Daddy from your body and into akutagawa’s tummy, safe and sound and where it should be. he’ll get in trouble for that, too, of course—you were never supposed to cum, he was never supposed to make that happen, and it’ll be his fault for allowing it, for procuring it, no matter how he tries to spin it. he knows better to argue with Daddy once Daddy’s made up his mind, but he just can’t seem to help it when it comes to situations involving you, whiny complaints spilling from his lips before his brain can even sift through them, voice stringy and thin as he cries about how it isn’t fair! and she should’ve stopped it herself! and it isn’t his fault she can’t control herself!
at the end of it all, though, he’s proud of himself irregardless, proud of the stellar job he did eating you clean. and even though he scolds him callously, Daddy’s proud of him, too <3
ON THE OTHER HAND, i also really love the idea of Daddy dazai fucking reader over and over and over again and not only making akutagawa watch but also instructing akutagawa to not touch himself at all, in any way (and yes, this includes not shifting and twitching his hips up, rolling them into the air in tiny, pathetic little motions so the head of his cock grinds against the tight denim of his jeans). i love it, because it’s a double whammy in so many ways: in addition to the obvious, he also has to watch as his Daddy fucks the favourite, he has to watch as his Daddy plays with his toy, feeling left out and neglected and lonely. he has to watch as Daddy pushes his toy well past the point of pleasure and into a whole ton of pain, easily reminding akutagawa in that infuriatingly charming, slightly breathless voice that your pain is his fault (v touya-nii of him LMAO).
at first, he acts as if he doesn’t care, and he tells Daddy so, the words spit from his lips with such derision it sours his face, features screwed up tightly. it doesn’t matter to him, he says. he doesn’t give a fuck if she’s in pain, he swears.
except by the third orgasm you’re sobbing out his name, dainty fingers grappling for him in cute little claws that scratch at the mattress in their haste and leave little divots in their wake, sheets ripping audibly, and ryuu! ryuu, ryuu, it hurts, make Daddy stop!
but this, this pure emotional torment, is a part of his punishment, too, he realizes.
because then Daddy’s shushing you, gentle and sweet and all of the things he never is with akutagawa, large palms cushioning your sweaty cheeks as he murmurs to you, voice silk and syrup.
you can do it for Daddy, can’t you, sweetheart? you can cum one more for me, right? you want to be good for me, don’t you?
and that hurts, too. watching Daddy be so fucking nice to you, watching daddy dole out praise to you the way he doles out punishment to akutagawa. it isn’t until dazai’s sure he’s fully broken akutagawa in every conceivable way that he finally stops, takes the shivering, snivelling man into his arms and onto his lap, akutagawa’s chest shuddering beneath the force of the sobs he keeps trying so desperately to shove down, long lashes scraggly and weighted with fat tears.
you did good, baby, he’s whispering as slim fingers pop the button of akutagawa’s jeans, hand wiggling beneath the material to pull his cock free a moment later. Daddy’s good baby boy, so precious, so fucking pathetic, aren’t you?
yes, yes, yes, he’s sobbing into dazai’s neck as Daddy strokes his aching cock, hard and fast right at the top, thumb grinding little circles into the slit. his words are nothing more than tangles of spit oozing all over Daddy’s skin as they leak, uncontrollably so, from his lips, but that’s alright, Daddy doesn’t mind the mess today, humming out condescending coos into inky strands as he encourages akutagawa to cum all over Daddy’s fist.
and, oh, he’s so fucking hopeless for his Daddy, cumming after a mere three pulls of his cock, thick and sticky and so much, it’s so much for such a skinny boy, almost embarrassingly, disgustingly so, don’t you think ryuu-kun?
of course. of course it is; he’s disgusting and deplorable and so fucking desperate, but he did it; he’s Daddy’s good boy, and that’s all that matters <3
#akutagawa smut#akutagawa x reader#dazai osamu x reader#dazai smut#throwing this in the tags because whY NOT#anon this was delicious and i have so much to saaaay wowowow#i'm already obsessed with this whole dynamic u can def expect to see more of them in the near future#it's so FUN#anyway hehe <3#i hope ur doing well anon bb!!#please stay safe and don't forget to hydrate!#inky.bb#clari gets mail#inky.bsd
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Day 25- Truce
Title: i wanna go outside but i’m terrified it might be cold or too hot or too radioactive
Rating: Teen and Up
Word Count: 1.6k
Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Pre-Slash, Enemies to Friends, Forced Proximity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia
Summary: Simon and Baz are the only ones left at Watford during Christmas break. Therefore, when the nuclear apocalypse hits, they are trapped in a bunker with only each other as company. Will they become friends or kill each other? Only time will tell…
Read on AO3
@carryon-countdown
#my ridiculously long title is from a song by Pacing who is an artist that I am gatekeeping so you're not allowed to listen to her#(that is a lie I love her please listen to her but don't forget that i was first)#i had too much fun with this prompt#i wanna write a long fic like this SOOO bad but i have too many fics i wanna write :sob:#my writing#carry on fanfic#carry on oneshot#carry on fandom#snowbaz oneshot#snowbaz fanfic#carry on countdown 2024#carry on countdown#coc 2024#Lily's COC Fics#my fics
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2024 Purge (Part 3)
A whole Three-Parter for 2024! Damned very completely took over my brain and I made so many many doodles about it haha <3 Also ft. Helix and SCII generally, and a few other cursory Damned-style things :)
Little mini ZEX walk cycle from his Kissing Strangers meme ♥ He’s so cute, wobbling around on these weird new legs, not used to using these stiff arms to assist him back up!
Floorplans!! Of the Vyer Estate, I unfortunately don't know the layout/room configuration of estates or mansions very well haha, so I kinda just guessed at what kind of structure the house would have - I could've looked up blueprints, but the foyer is such a strong image in my head that every other room kind of fell off around it lol - though I still oscillate between seeing the stairs in the frontmost room or to the sides, hmm
Many many speculations, including the outer spaces, yard out front and in back, what all is within their fencing, if its built on a slab or foundation, if there's a crawlspace or cellar or full basement, ahh, so many possibilities! You can see in the left full-view I mistakenly put Dex's room on the first floor lol, both his and Max's room are explicitly described as being upstairs, on a separate floor from the kitchen. Very important! But where is the master bedroom...? The two on the right are kind-of both of the same thing; the platform at the top of the foyer double stairs, and the room beneath it that leads outside to the back garden - I moved the dining room around here and there, it would be nice to open up the back doors and have a dinner party able to go in and out I think :)
Going a bit more granular, made some temps for Max's room specifically - he hangs out there a lot, it's important! Even pulled out my grid paper for this one haha, fun to have an actual floorplan kind of look with tile-spaced everything! Very Sims, quite fun. I do like the idea of him having a window seat, but he's also described as standing in front of his windows so that probably wouldn't be the Only type he'd have hmm
On the topic of the Sims, I ended up making the three mockups in the Sims 2 as well! I do like this one - I was especially surprised that Max was even able to get to the bed! I thought the dresser would be in the way but no, it’s all walkable :D Very pleased. Not fully satisfied with the placement of his en suite tho, would it encroach into his room itself, or be tucked into a wall...? I kind of like that idea of that :0
The double bay windows is maybe a bit much, but I mean. Idle rich lol. At one point he’s looking out the window and then backs Dex up against a wall, but Which wall hmmm, must align room layout with seduction attempts, very important
Switching entirely over, you might remember the card I posted of Stanley, and the small mention of having made a matching card for the Narrator... I may have made significantly more than just that lol, I can't help it!! The Damned structure is wonderfully made, it invites creative speculation and idea generation at a nearly alarming rate! I commend the game builders for their craft. So I made a bunch of the faces I'd want to see at the institute lol, I love duos the most-most, so picking a pair from several of my favourite pieces of media was just ahh! Yes!
Apaultheosis and Emma seemed like a particularly fun match :D Would that make Paul his "real" counterpart...? I mean, it says Matthew right there lol, but would he just act like Paul? Would be doubly weird if Paul-proper showed up while the Apotheosis was out swanning around haha, Apaultheosis really seems like the right level of "belongs in an institute" to have a lot of fun with :) And if it's my immune-Emma AU in particular, Emma's already used to having to be around a bunch of weirdos haha
The LAC boys!!! ♥ Making everyone's little background was a lot of fun too - yellow for the TSPs, blue splotches for the Hatchetfield duo, little devil trappings for these two :D Such fun! It was also very fun to write up everyone's little personalities in simple phrasing, really break them all down to their core characterizations haha. Helps with not pushing them too far one way or another too! Would they do any given thing because [trait]? S'fun!
Weird Duo, the Watchers pulled from And the Universe Shifts - the explorations of villains having to put up being on the same side as/having to get along with heroes really makes for an interesting examination of how they'd go about doing that! These two are still absolutely insufferable, but they're also trying to escape! It's interesting :0 Also casual headcanon of how the institute would deal with enby/trans characters, possibly something I've had a lot of thoughts about lol
Last fanduo from the first batch - all of these were made over the course of like, two days, if that lol, I was very excited about this idea - I genuinely love how anime/JRPG characters are usually given fake names also in Japanese, it's very fun :D I only did so halfway for Nova's since she's only ever had the one kind of anglicized personal name, no family name - could she also be a kid from Jersey? Such mysteries haha. She also probably wouldn't have her hair clips during the day unfortunately :P But I couldn't resist drawing them, she's not her without them! The Watchers get their masks, give my girl her barrettes!
Back to Helix, more short-haired Max! I do like this one but I also thought the pose was silly so I held off on it haha, he looks cute with short hair! <biased towards Max generally
Another one that was too silly to put anywhere haha, ZEX being attacked by an invisible Kayako - Teisel is very confused at your inexplicable reactions, Admiral!
Normally I wouldn't post my studies, partially because they're mostly for my own benefit, to better understand how to draw a character, and also because I am usually very ❤️💕💖💞💗 in my commentary lol, as evidenced. I was excited to see him!! Especially in the institute uniform!!! <3 I'd doodled him a couple times as such but Seeing it, ahh <3 <3 So cute, wonderful ♪♫
Max! Another half-study, frog mouthed boy <3 Goofy floofy lad, love him <3
And another! This time of him being teary-mad, gosh he's adorable no matter what he's up to
Hehe <3 A particularly silly one in reaction to Dexter having arm-pinned him on the floor - how different certain things look in hindsight, through the lense of a crush, hm?
Talanaaaa ♪ In actuality she removed her shirt, but how cute would it have been to tie it up at her side instead ahhh
Lovestruck Zelnick, totally listening, mmhm <3
The silliness continues! Was thinking about the little pink bits at the end of VUX tendrils and how I've sometimes seen them speculated as also being little tongues? I'm still not sure what I think about it! It is good and potentially creepy I think, but would they taste? Would they be as dexterous? Hmmm, thoughts thoughts
A dandelion for the sunshine Captain <3
There he is! The sunniest boy of them all! Sweetest sweet lad ♥ Love him :)
Speculating ZEX plushie stuff still - going over the construction of his uniform, possibly as part of his body, possibly as something to dress him in so he can be fitted into other clothes as well :0 I'm still considering the tail slot, but probably only for uniform-as-body - otherwise, laying his tunic overtop his tail would probably be the easiest all the way around. I do like VUX with short tails too tho, hmm, how to make it visible... On the right are a few more detail ideas :D Different eye styles, what would be embroidered vs. sewn together etc. - I considered felt medals and badges, but I really think embroidery would have the prettiest result! Even my notes say so haha, that and where to put weighted pellets in place of fluffy stuffing :)
Speaking of plush 👀 Ahem
An alternate Strawberry Blond panel, ZEX pulling him up fully to look at him hhh I love him <3
And also touching him a bit, what is this feeling DAX is feeling! ZEX has some ideas :3c Though when doesn't he lol
More DAX expressions! Angy and owie, they do tend to go hand-in-hand, poor lad got well-knocked around and he still ended up the least injured of the three!
Rando icons, I can't help myself ♪ This uniform has its hooks in me, is it the ominous smiley face's bright yellow on boring grey, the contrast, the sameness?? I just like it! Was a fun small and simple thing to pull together :)
I actually started this set somewhat early on, speculating what DAX's MU scene might be, but never ended up with anything solid - since he wasn't there initially, it's hard to think of what would be a fitting torture for him, apart from what Was there i.e. having to watch what ZEX went through :( That does seem like it'd leave some pretty massive mental scars on him - always always always unable to save him in the moments where it really counts! :'0 But it doesn't do anything to his Body, and that's supposed to be the point of MU! I do still like many things here, DAX's offer of self-sacrifice being rejected and him being powerless to do anything else
And the way I used hashmarks to imply his eyes going fuzzy with them both open and the stress - looks like a pause symbol haha
Also a big fan of the little corner doodle being so cute and wholesome, the two of them excitedly circling each other, excited to see each other! I love-loved that so much in their meeting <3 <3
Then there was that one time DAX and DAX met, that was fun :) If only ZEX had shown up, then what would DAX do! Self-defense in a way hehe, that's one way of getting on the same side haha
The raw doodle that eventually became Get Out of the Way! For as sad a way as it was to go out - failing to be protected, the last of his allies, not even able to wield his own weapon effectively - it does still remind me of a silly quote. Those dogs were indeed very nasty!
A temp doodle of Dexter holding both Max's clothes and ZEX's uniform after his "discharge" (;;) from the institute, the only things he has left to hold onto 💔 So very little left of him :(
I at one point asked smol who she’d put in the institute for funsies and she picked Maison Talo, and so I tossed Apaultheosis at him - they do both consider humans as prey! Just, a bit differently lol. Would the Apotheosis even be able to convert a Realtor by their lure? Where does the goo need to be to start to take effect, many questions
Stanley Icons <3 It's only fitting that my first choice for a card gets his own set of reactions! Icons like these are actually really fun to make - pulling around from my doodles, slapping a bit of colour overtop, edits to screenshots (Stanley's "Dead" reaction is probably my favourite of those, I'm sure y'all can guess which ending I pulled from lol) - and it all has me tempted to make a few more...
Back to Just-SCII! More Baby VUX!! 💖 They're so cute!!! Just little guys, adorable <3 Casual clothing and PJs and having to tie one's sash back on haha, all those complicated loops and knots :)
Also some muscle/arm shape speculations of how VUX armtips might change based on what they're doing, the roundedness of recoiling is very funny to me haha
Obviously had to make these two's versions in TS2 as well, the most fun <3 “What brings you in today, Mr. Vargas?” “That’s doctor.” “Oh, sure, right.”
More of the Doctor meme! Poor DAX haha, certainly sick with Something ♪
I think the lyric is “three times a day”? But what three times a day, that's the real question lol. ZEX has his own suggestions hmm :) I do like their hug in the first one hehe, so cute <3
Totally all better! Definitely nothing would make his symptoms flare up again!
Poor DAX <3
Digitized Dr. Doran! He really is so tiny haha, it was fun using Wander's colour scheme, mostly filled out already! The institute's dress code for staff is a mystery; presumably some of the therapists wear medical/professional clothes, but then there's Stein who still has the screw in his head - surely they'd allow jeans, right? Or is that where they draw the line lol. Look it's fine, he's meant to be the Approachable Therapist, he gets special allowances, totallyyy
All two Locked In doodles that didn't make the cut but also have nowhere else to go lol - there’s a few dozen concept sketches that haven’t been written into complete scenes yet that I'd love to post as their own sets! At some point!! Poor Oz is so put out, and Leah's big goofy grin, very silly hehe - that one's just meant to show off her outfit! It's winter, no bare legs here!
As a bonus to make up for those being the only two doodles, here’s Ozzy and Thrax in TS2 failing to get along lol. Oz! You're not good enough friends for that yet! Will they get there someday? :3c
VUX snuggles <3 Love the them so very much ♥
This is one I really want to digitize to get them a little more cosplay-accurate, but I'd been going back through some nostalgic AMVs and had the sudden realization that KuroFai, being one of my fairly early/influential ships on my heart, and now they...
Fai even loses an eye, I jfdlskafdlhfdf
Finishing out with my last set of cards, I had to make the two leads from SAOA, truly a masterwork in abridging <3 They're just such fun characters! And it's not like they're not already used to being trapped somewhere that constantly risks their lives :'0 I love them, I swear! Good things for them!
#Doodles#Damned#Long Post#Ahh!!! Three for three!!! None of the art purges broke this year!!! Yeah!!!! Technically goal accomplished even tho there were more doodles#Just gotta split it up enough!#This one definitely earned its own separate sketchdump For Sure#With the amount of energy and attention and enjoyment all paid its way I mean#Not much else To Do about it haha#So many aspects! The SCII aspects - so wonderful to read ZEX and Zelnick especially-especially <3 <3#They are my favourite-favourites so very much so wonderfully written ♥#Truly an experience I'll never forget <3#But also the game itself! Its structure and everything that went into making play possible!#Framework terribly important to loam the soil to be grown in!#Absolutely something I admire so deeply - something I've wanted to do in some way another for years!!#Met me at the right moment :) Couldn't ask for more <3 But am still getting it! Huah!!! 💕💖💞 Spoiling me!#To take it to a slightly calmer place lol - had a lot of fun with So Many ideas here#Helix and SCII and Locked In and the original and new Damned and my cards and icons ahh#It's truly so inspiring :D My favourite!#Much fun to talk about at length :) I'm sure I still have more to say lol#As usual there are many links to go through - they were a bit of a pain to insert because of the aforementioned not-quite-breaking!#Please click on them!#These kind of turn into mini-masterposts huh :0#Maybe I will look into making a few masterposts here and there#Also I don't know why but some posts aren't showing up in the tag#Only the older ones all the latest ones from the last couple months are there but the rest >:/#They show up in the archive/Damned tag but not if you're just scrolling! The heck#The consideration of a masterpost is only more appealing if the tags are going to be so unreliable and uncooperative!#But as long as they're all here or findable in their own right I'm pleased enough ahh <3 Fun fun
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Nothing in particular prompted this, I just want to hear other people's thoughts.
(I don't know the Brazilian dudes well enough yet to add them to any particular category - with the exception of Cellbit who would definitely be in "Gets in", so please tell me where you think they'd go)
#QSMP#QSMP Cast#i talk#qsmp talk#Dan I also have no idea where to put but I put him in that category solely based on Vibes#I feel like depending on who they're talking to / their mood#Luzu and Phil could go into the#''Please don't go they absolutely can stop you all'' category#but in their heart of hearts they're Bastards so ''Have fun dying lol'' represents them better#Didn't realize til I was finished but I think it's interesting how a few of the pairs ended up in the same category#also Jaiden ABSOLUTELY goes in that first category I WILL fight you on this#EDIT: I FORGOT QUACKITY#HOW THE FRICK DID I FORGET QUACKITY HE OWNS THE DANG SERVER#I'm actually not sure what category fits him best
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the cool thing about headcanons is they're all correct. there's no point in arguing over them because we all bring ourselves and our own lives into our perception of characters and stories. peace and love on planet earth
#if you ever bring up a hc and i disagree/bring up a contradictory one#please PLEASE don't take it as an attack. I'm glad you have your own thing. i have mine. we can and should coexist :)#I'd say. even if a hc directly contradicts canon information. that's fine too. it doesn't hurt anyone. have fun#it's fine to care about it and want things to be accurate but if someone's hc bothers you this much you can always just block em#(I'm saying this as someone who gets bothered by this sort of thing lol I'm aware i may come as hypocritical here :P#- but i do think this way even if i sometimes forget to practice it. none of this matters that much.#- still if you see me posting otherwise it is absolutely never a personal attack and more like venting frustration due to caring too much -#- and is therefore not your problem so don't even worry about it 🙏)
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Hear me out...
Cherrybush :D
ok maybe I will do ship doodle requests for any ship
I wrote an essay in the notes is should've probably wrote here but lazy to copy and paste
#asks#rw shipping#if I am doing this then REMINDER#I am not prioritizing these like I did with the digitally drawn ship requests#these are more for my own little doodle enjoyments and keep me drawing when I get time#if I don't respond to your ask for like days I most likely am not feeling motivated or straight up kept forgetting to do it#I usually don't turn away asks unless you suggest something I get uncomfortable with (which happens almost never)#like I have a nightlight waiting bc I keep forgetting about it (anon I see u dw)#on that note uh#feel free to include designs if youd like with your requests#and please be patient#I am only doing these little doodles as traditional doodles#may not be the most detailed#im just having fun when I get the chance to#should I make a tag for these#probably uh#scug ships#there ya go#rw cherrybush#rw huntersaint#rw sainthunter#my art
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a good reason to leave for me:
i honestly think it would be safer for me and therians to not be in the same space sometimes haha. P-shifting isn't safe for many and it can really hurt others.
Although I would love to stay, I know that it's probably safer for everyone to no longer teach it and keep to myself about things that involve how to shift and such.
P-shifting isn't a joke and can harm people who suffer from mental issues and other things of that sort. Its just not safe to teach in a large public space. It's something only some can stomach and be safe while doing. Plus some communities that are too unregulated exist and may mess with people's reality and how they perceive it. Some are too open to allow people to start p-shifting right off the bat and it's just too dangerous that way. (including those that say "oh just wait you will shift eventually but you cant control it at all" those are even worse.)
Theres a very good reason why newer communities are very apprehensive about teaching, or telling, or allowing new people who know nothing about it just hop in and start shifting. Usually if you are coming to the "learning" community (as in, you are following steps laid out by others to understand your identity) there is guidelines, there are warnings, etc. It's just too risky to not follow these guidelines and not listen to the warnings.
Dont start p-shifting right when you find out. Take the time to start a journal. Understand that what you are getting into isn't something that will make you cool or quirky. You risk your mental health if you are not careful. You have to be born to be a p-shifter. You must first mental shift before you can even think about p-shifting. P-shifting is not easy and will take years to even get to a point where you start getting somewhere physically.
The list goes on. When someone who is teaching shifting slacks in saying these things, you can harm someone. It takes a very long time to even get to the point where you may be ready to p-shift. Some never will p-shift. You have to accept these realities too. Not to mention how some older guides, although effective, can be so incredibly risky. (Such as completely shutting out the world and being an animal 24/7. Some people just take it too far and do it too early and ruin themselves.) Its just not worth it sometimes.
Thats why I'm leaving Tumblr. Too open, not safe for neither me nor others looking in. I know I usually don't have these sorts of posts, but I just saw someone in an anon saying how unstable their reality and they were after lurking in the community and it just.... its just so hard to see. Nobody deserves that sort of mental torture. Sometimes I forget that p-shifting actually can be dangerous to some if nobody teaches how important it is to regulate yourself, check in on yourself, and remember that p-shifting isn't for the faint of heart.
It's only for those who have spent so much time over years of their journey, exploring themselves, askong questions, taking breaks, questioning themselves so many times, and checking in, to finally be able to claim that they are able to p-shift. (There is so much more to it than that obviously.) My fourth year of shifting is coming up, and after so long I might be ready to leave the online community permanently and start my journey. (of physically shifting i mean. I spend more time teaching others rather than doing the practice itself right now lol. When i say p-shifting im trying to refer to the whole process, but really talking about the mental shifting and phantom shifting etc. Sorry if its been unclear, many know the whole community as "p-shifters" when in reality "p-shifters" are only those who havw actually preformed a p-shift. I havent yet in my conscious memory so i just call myself a shifter or nonhuman.)
Please be safe. Please, if you are curious about the p-shifting community, remember that it is a mixed bag and not for everyone. As always any community can be a mixed bag, but p-shifting "learning" communities can spiral and be too lax on the warnings and importance of these warnings.
Thats all. (make sure to read all tags fully too.)
#please be safe#if you are interested in p-shifting feel free to approach me but I'm not going to be as open as i used to be#this whole post isn't to claim that the p-shifting community is incredibly dangerous#i can be full of the most amazing kind people#the only issue is people forget how dangerous it can be to not remember the warnings that follow the community#many young people toss them aside because they think it's gatekeepers or a “cool kids only club”#(like i did)#but it's for safety and making sure you take it slow enough so that you can back out without being permanently damaged#p-shift#I will always tell anyone interested that you have to spend time researching thinking evaluating the list goes on#And it's nobody's fault#when you've been a p-shifter for a long time (like me) you forget the warnings that you followed in the beginning that protected you#from spiraling mental issues depression etc.#p-shifting can be done and practiced safely#hey i did it and I'm doing fine. I've lived with it for so long and don't hold onto it like a lifeline anymore#it's more of an aspect of my identity#im just trying to help others understand that it can be fun and safe but it's not something to joke with or play with#it is something that is serious and if the warnings are ignored usually very risky.#bro it's like rock climbing almost#“WEAR THE HARNESS. If you fall you won't plummet to your death!! Remember rules ABC and you will be okay!!”#it's sort of the same thing in that matter.#we do unsafe things all of the time but since we know the dangers and the warnings we will go about to be much safer in practicing it#Im just trying to say p-shifting from the “learning” side of it - these warnings should be heeded and taught.#Or else you get whats been happening lately with people wandering into places that are too lax with teaching the dangers#and people are traumatized and damaged from it#Many new people who I've seen wander onto my Amino don't even really know that there is even a process before p-shifting itself#it's scary and I'm afraid even more people will have to deal with the rough bumpy road of understanding that they aren't p-shifters#yeah so uh#this might not get any likes or anything but I still wanted to put this out there.#Please don't crop this and use this for out of context hate against p-shifting and p-shifters
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Talking a little bit about 'boycotting Eurovision' under Keep Reading, feel free to scroll down if is not what you want to see.
The most used argument on the matter of banning Israel from Eurovision is the fact that Russia got banned from Eurovision, which is the worst argument anyone could bring.
Kindly reminder that Russia didn't get banned because of the war with Ukraine. Russia got banned because many countries has threatened to withdraw from the competition. Sadly, that's a big difference.
Yes, the countries has threatened to withdraw because they support Ukraine and see Russia as the party in the wrong. That was their reason. EBU's reason for banning Russian was because those countries threatened to withdraw, not because the war was bad and Russia must be stopped.
This situation isn't the same. Why? Because many countries support Israel in their genocide. Because this time around Palestine is the party in the wrong. Because we're taught to believe that Israel isn't in the wrong here.**
Boycotting Eurovision won't work. There are people out there who don't know the truth and want to watch Eurovision. There are people out there who don't care and will watch Eurovision regardless of the situation. There are people out there who, despite having the facts, still don't see Israel as the bad guy in this situation and will watch Eurovision. Sadly, boycotting won't work unless everyone does it.
The only way Israel will get banned, in my opinion, is by going through the same thing as Russia. If other countries threatened to withdraw- and not any countries, but the ones investing the most in Eurovision, then yes. That will get Israel banned.
Otherwise? The only thing we do is hurt artists that don't deserve it. Artists who use Eurovision as a way to get more exposure and experience. Artists who deserve to be heard.
Don't vote for Israel's entry. Don't stream their song either. Heck, turn off the TV when is their turn to perform.
**This whole situation (the war, not Eurovision) isn't only black and white. Civilians die daily because of this, all of them from both sides. Innocent people who has no fault. Let's not forget that
#Honestly I'm tired of the whole 'Russia got banned Israel should be banned too' speech because is truly bullshit#It has nothing to do with the war per se. It was because countries were unwilling to participate in support for Ukraine#If the whole situation was truly political then other countries wouldn't be able to participate either#Is it fair? No. But that's the situation#Alas Eurovision exist so we forget about the bad in the world for a bit and be more united. Have some fun. Stuff like that#I'm going to get so much hate over this omg. But this is just my opinion/point of view on the matter#Sadly this whole situation isn't even about helping the innocent put in danger by this situation. Is about hate like everything else#My wording is so shitty but people on the internet don't understand shit unless I call 'X bad Y good' so we go with that#eurovision 2024#Also another reminder that THE WHOLE AUDIENCE chanted 'Cha Cha Cha' during eurovision 2023 and were rotting for Finland to win just to lose#Many entries got fucked up by the jury votes too. Our opinion doesn't matter as much as some of you might think lol#Jury votes GOT CHANGED during another eurovision under shitty reasons (I can't remember which year but there were 5 or 6 countries who got#their votes changed). Eurovision has never been fair#We always get annoyed over it and trash talk it then watch it the next year#Also this is not the same as boycotting brands and shit like that who support Israel. No money go from Eurovision to Israel.#This competition as far as I am aware (please correct me if I'm wrong) doesn't support Israel in any way#Be it financially or by donating arms or any other way#Their only fault is for allowing Israel to participate. That's all#Weapons* don't ask me why I said arms instead sorry#i'm tired lol#Fair warning I won't answer any replies to this post
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i wish i wouldn't do this to myself. why do i buy games on steam and then not play them for a while and then hate them and request a refund way outside of the refund time window
#qktalks#this is about sonic frontiers . imso fucking sorry#the game LOOKED awesome it looked fun. the beginning is terrible i feel pained to even say it#feels clunky. won't stop FUCKING bothering you with tutorials#killed the first boss and the game literally said ''hey it dropped something. that's important btw. pick it up. don't forget to pick it up'#i am playing a video game. what else am i going to do.#it definitely feels like breath of the wild if it constantly bothered u like every ten feet with reminders#imso sorry sonic frontiers. u had sm potential. u Have so much. i am simply a whiny bitch#also the game looks . surprisingly bad ?#i thought it would look a lot better. it doesn't look shitty by any means but it also doesn't .....look good#the voice acting at the beginning too leaves ...smth to be desired#i have a mutual (hi parker) who loves sonic parker if ur reading this im on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness /silly#this is my first sonic game so maybe it was just not the best first choice ? idk#still love u sonic ur a silly little guy#actually the refund window is 14 days and i've had the game for 16 days ......... so maybe i can still make it#maybe . idk#steam please . i got it on sale i got it half off please just give me my $30 back.im hungry steam#<- lives with her parents and does not buy the food
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little life update/rant below :)
i feel like i've been so inactive lately which makes me big sad, but when i say i have not had the time, i'm being so serious. yesterday i literally woke up, went into work an hour early, stayed after for almost 2 hours, went home, made dinner, and immediately sat down to work on a grad school assignment and then had to work for another hour before i went to bed. then i woke up this morning and did it all again. it just feels like that's how my days look more and more recently, and it's been really hard tbh. it's demoralizing and just sad to work all day and still wake up the next day wishing i had done more, still with a mile long to do list, and knowing that it's just going to keep being this way for at least the next couple weeks.
anyways all of this is to say that i'm just both really grateful for and sorry to all my mutuals who have continued to tag me in things and stuff in the past couple weeks :) it may sound weird or dumb, but if i'm being honest i have SERIOUS fandom fomo right now, and, even though i haven't really had time recently, it's been nice to not feel like lost in the shuffle or forgotten (i told u it was going to sound weird).
being on tumblr/in fandom has truly been the most incredible escape and been such a stress relief and source of happiness for me. i'm still very much here, just lurking and liking more because i'm conserving brain bandwidth as much as possible during the week!!!!
#to get more personal in the tags i started going to therapy#i've never had good experiences in the past#but it's going really well so far#and i'm proud of myself for making the time even when i've been so busy#i've also stayed consistent w my gym schedule which is so important for my mental and physical health#so like. i am doing things other than working#but i just don't have as much time to do little fun things rn#also in case anyone cared the reason i'm so busy at work is because on top of just having a busy job generally#i'm also a glutton for pain and i run our student government#and homecoming is next week#and it's just..........so much stuff to do#so many emails to send so much to coordinate so many people to please#but it's almost over!#just have to make it through a 60 hour work week next week and i'll be fine#ALSO i keep forgetting it's my birthday next week#will lowkey be the worst birthday of my life but oh well 26 is a lame birthday anyway#personal
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(I'm asking because I've seen you guys give a lot of likes/hearts to my posts that have him- and I don't know if it's because you just like it because it's another common art post/answering questions or if you really like him, so.... yeah🤔)
#doing this for fun and because I have nothing to post today- lol qivskavjsvsjiwgjzv#be sincere!!!#also- if you can't vote in time. please. don't forget to say the same(if you want to- of course)! can be by comment or reblog ^^#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#mel creator#mel loly#my oc character#asks#?#please answer#please vote!#my polls
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Live Reaction of Sophie Being Utterly WRECKED by Chapter 13 of S.O.S.
@nobody33333333. I have no apologies or disclaimers. You Know What You Did.
OOOOHHHHHHHH. You have NO IDEA how ecstatic I am at reading this!! Going to have a hard time containing myself :D
Already, Garrison is locked on to the psychic aspect of the situation. Makes you wonder what that tunnel vision is blocking from her?
Oh no. Ah, she thinks it’s Kate!! This is horrible.
Interesting that she still doesn’t want to brainsweep her, even though she’s scared.
NO. NO IT WASN’T A GOOD REASON. IT’S KATE!!!!!!
Man, just jumping straight into the deep end with all of the Garrison angst. I love you, Bods, but goodness gracious
I love that Jackson is just screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac and then immediately drops to (attempting to be) professional when Curtain answers. Love me some Muppet Twins.
Also, side note, I adore how you’ve set it up so they all are guessing, and the suspicion mostly lands on Kate and Reynie. It’s so clever!!! Because everyone is working with different pieces of information, and so they’re making the wrong assumptions. It’s like that one fable with the blind men and the elephant.
NICHOLAS. Even if Milligan had been hurt by the Sender, That Doesn’t Mean You Are At Fault.
(You should know you’re a good author when I spend a good 64% of my time yelling at the characters, because you are just so skilled at writing their thoughts/personalities)
And Miss Perumal’s back!!! Oh, the way you write her is such a wonderful balance of protector and mother, she’d be my favourite to read if it didn’t change every five seconds.
Jeffers!!!
Poor SQ. He’s so hurt and angry but he’s trying to handle it “maturely” and he’s so alone. I want to hug him :(
And the depth you added!!! All the little details and nuances you include, like the stuff about SQ wanting to go to college and Curtain’s anxiety over the whole situation, culminate in such a glorious emotional payoff that gives insight to the character being complex people who pretty much all have a sympathetic side. You are a genius for keeping track of all of it, and the pacing is just masterful.
He lied!! I know it isn’t helping in this direct situation, but I’m so proud of him!! (As opposed to the fairly simple and unadulterated relief I felt when watching the show)
Oh, and then you flip it. I want to root for the kids, obviously, but when you follow up every victory with Curtain’s desperate panic as his carefully crafted world is crumbling down around him, how can I?
And he immediately channels it to “productive” anger. Oh, I am scared for the kids.
Milligan!!!
I love how you can put words to Milligan’s protectiveness without making it seem like he doesn’t care about the other children.
The fact that she immediately fixates on her bucket, instead of even thanking Milligan as I’d guess she normally would, has always stuck with me. Because it is the epitome of Kate’s relationship with her bucket: She needs to have it, it is where she derives comfort and safety, and it just drives me up a wall because it’s what she’s supposed to be getting from him, and what she probably would be feeling if she let herself stop and think about it. But she’s been on her own for so long that she can’t stop and let herself accept the help and reassurance from him. She needs to keep going.
And Milligan just supports her!! He doesn’t really understand the bucket specifically, but he loves her and so he’s willing to help her in whatever way she needs. And, the thing is, he kind of does understand, at least, better than she knows. The symbolism here is amazing, not least because it’s foreshadowing about their relationship. It’s like that one thing, “When you live through something incredibly hard and you survive, you become the person who would have saved you then” or something. Milligan is helping her in the way that he could have been helped, in being caught, in being saved from having to face the cliff and escape alone, and in helping her understand who she is.
It’s just… SO GOOD!!! You communicate it so well, and I keep rereading that bit over and over again because I love it. The emotion that is woven throughout is so intense, and so pure and lovely!! Agh, you have a very good gift with words, my friend.
And he offers to get her a new bucket!! And he tells her how much he loves her!! And how she’s always welcome. You’re going to make me cry :(
The horrible, horrible, beautiful contrast of how much he wants Kate to be loved and valued, and how he keeps thinking about how crazy it is that someone “abandoned” her.
Wait. Wait, Milligan is being reminded of Curtain!!! Oh, Constance and her situation and Kate and it all makes him think of his friend. The element of abandonment again. I— I do not have the words for how I feel about this. But It Is A Lot.
OH. OH YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A PARENT??? KATE??????
Ah, man, it’s heartbreaking that she is weirded out by having someone, specifically an adult, care if she fell off a cliff. That’s, like, The Lowest Bar
I am once again feeling the Milk Urge to consume drywall!!!!!!
She’s so surprised!! She’s totally thrown off that they (and, again, Milligan specifically) would go to such lengths to keep them safe!!! What!!!
You Write The Wetheralls In Such A Way That Makes Me Want To Screech But Please Know That I Am Hugging You As Hard As I Possibly Can In My Mind
Ah, yes, The Blue Beret EventTM
Nicholas is so lost, and he’s just as hurt as Curtain, but he won’t allow himself to see it because he feels so guilty.
And he doesn’t trust himself!!! He is letting other people direct him, but that’s why everything is falling apart. They don’t know the full situation, that’s one of the lonely things about being a genius; you can’t always rely on just anyone, because they don’t see things the way you do. And then Miss Perumal says a new thing and throws him off again!!
Goodness, the way you write that little paragraph of his confusion and confliction is exquisite.
I like the bit about how Miss Perumal needs to go home to her mother! The wording, and Nicholas’ reflection on it really hits home that part of her personality!! (I think you added that, but, regardless, reading through it in your style gives a better perspective on both characters, and their relationship to one another!)
Ajasdhgjkasdghkjdsajk And he’s so worried about Miss Perumal’s family (EXHILARATED with how you had him automatically include Reynie), once again missing the point of how it affects him!!!
The Stenographer!!! I like him. Does he have a name? I feel like it should be… Martin. Or Tyler. Or maybe Raphael. I don’t know, but he’s neat. Sorry for my goofy little tangent, you just have this fantastic skill for making me emotional over side characters and background people, so I’m preparing myself, in case :)
And the way you add in the “Squeak”s!! Ooh, I could feel the agitation and anxiety building in myself just from reading it, and of course, Curtain is going to be super sensitive to that, because he needs everything to be under his control and Just So.
Which leads him to make ridiculous demands of his poor stenographer.
Reynie!! He’s trying so hard to work around all of his worry and tell the truth, even if in little bits.
STOPMINDGAMINGTHECHILDLEDROPHTA
As much as I’d like to give Curtain credit for being a human polygraph machine as he seems to think he is, Reynie is just garbage at lying. So am I, kid, don’t worry about it. But it is funny how the scene can be interpreted either as Curtain being super good at his job and making Reynie nervous, or Reynie doing his best but just being stuck in a situation he isn’t suited for. THIS is what I keep saying about your writing: I sympathise equally with all the characters and am deeply invested in each and every one of them, regardless of if I even remembered they existed from the show.
THE STAR THING IS BACK
(Okay, I know that was from the show, but you keep building up to/creating this star motif and it is driving me bonkers I Love It)
Noooooo, he thinks it’s Nicholas trying to hurt him!!!!! Why must you tear me apart in this way
“Reynie Muldoon was intelligent. He was. Curtain could admit that. But he didn’t have Sticky’s gift” You are so good at balancing all of the characters, it’s insane. Mentioning the other kids when writing from a single one’s perspective or even from an adult’s is so cool, because it reinforces the concept of them being connected, and relying on each other. Oh, man, it’s just awesome to see!!!
Poor Jeffers, he’s just getting put in awkward positions even without his bumbling buffoonery.
NO. Ah, I forgot the Implications of Jackson, Jillson, and Martina being friends, no this is awful
AKJSFHJFKHDDSKJKJHDGSHKJDG BODS
I am going to. Just. Combust on the spot HOW DARE YOU
Okay. Okay I am going to RantTM now and you’re just going to have to DEAL for yanking my heart out by the strings and then stomping it into the ground
Y O U C A N S E E T H E M L O S I N G I T.
You can see, even in such a short bit, how Curtain’s brainwashing is creating a conflict with what they personally have come to believe. They feel betrayed and confused and scared, and the line “Dr. Curtain had always been there for them, and someone as smart and as generous as him would never lie”, but he would!!! AND HE DID!!!!!
And they love Martina, of course, but now that the floor has dropped out from under them they turn to each other, because that’s all they have left. Curtain isn’t going to comfort them, he’s not going to be a source of kindness and support, he’s too Busy And Important. But, they are still, without really thinking about it, going to rely on him even more, because now that Martina “betrayed” them, he’s the only person who has “been there for them” (And, again, we see the sort of mindset they have of being more of a single unit, because of how close they are. They don’t consider each other an outside human, but rather a vital component of themself)
And the fact that they don’t even realise the need to distance themselves from Martina and throw her under the bus is because Curtain is manipulating them and mistreating them!!! They feel like it’s a rational reaction, because of course the man they’ve spent their whole lives working to repay for the fantastic service of occasionally being polite to them is the good guy. When faced with their own facts and decisions, and years of Curtain’s lies, they don’t know where to turn!!!
“Jackson and Jillson lifted their heads and looked sadly at each other. Martina had tricked them into being her friends? Well, they supposed in light of this evidence, there couldn’t be any other explanation” HE’S DOING THE SAME THING HE DOES TO SQ!!!! WHAT!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS TO NOT EVEN GRANT THEM THE KINDNESS OF PRETENDING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PAIN LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN SON. NO, YOU JUST DO THE BAD STUFF THAT’LL HURT THEM, BUT BOY WILL IT MAKE THEM COMPLIANT. PRESENTING YOURSELF AS THE ONLY SAFE OPTION DOESN’T MAKE IT LOYALTY
Okay. Going to try and calm down now. But Marie Curie’s Notebook, Bods, did you have to do that to me?
Madge Perspective!!
Constance and Madge rivalry is one of my favourite things to come out of this, and it is slightly making up for the gaping hole in my heart from the last passage
I appreciate that you gave her a reason for not giving the note to Reynie!! This actually makes a lot of sense and works so awesomely with the continuity :D
AND SHE GOES TO TAKE SQ’S SANDWICH I LOVE HER
AND HE RECOGNISES HER THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE
Oh, and now it’s sad again. You’re giving me whiplash with all this, I swear…
Ah, no. I knew this had to happen but it doesn’t make it any less painful, especially to read through in your writing.
Somehow, the fact that “You’re not nice at all” was such a cutting remark for both of the boys speaks volumes about them.
The way you keep leveraging their age differences as something SQ is ashamed of!!! I’ve moved on from the drywall and am unscrewing and consuming my light bulbs. Just— AGH. I can’t think of the words to get this feeling across properly… SQ was being vulnerable, and opening himself up to someone who could really understand him, and now he’s being made to feel ashamed over it for things that are not his fault!! WHAT???
And Reynie is trying so incredibly hard!!!! Oh, this was one of my absolute least favourite parts of the show, it just hurts so much and it reminds me of that bit in the books when SQ tells Sticky that the best thing to do was “not to have cheated in the past”. The best thing would be if they could have somehow avoided this situation, because of how it hurt both of them :(
Nice detail about SQ’s tutors!!
Oh, but the poor boy’s so hurt. AND IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS BAD IF CURTAIN HADN’T BEEN INSTILLING SUCH RIDICULOUS CONCEPTS INTO HIS KID FOR YEARS
Jeepers Has Jeeped It Up Again
And now Curtain is spiralling!! Part of me is like “The nerve of him, after he just destroyed several children”, but, alas, your writing has gotten to me again and I actually feel kind of bad for him
Nicholas isn’t laughing at you, you GRASSHOPPER, he’s CRYING because he LOVES YOU
And Garrison is having to bear so much of his anger. It’s that other thing, the one about how you treat people close to you worse because you trust them to love you anyway? Except BAD because they’ve both been through so much it’s just getting wildly more unhealthy by the day
“Now all she could do was hope that whatever psychics and spies were crawling about the Institute were able to get their job done before Curtain found them” It’s so weird how she doesn’t have the information necessary in the slightest, but somehow she’s kind of closer to the truth than Curtain is
(This isn’t important in the slightest, and not to undercut the drama and tension of this scene, but I hate that stupid hallway painting outside Curtain’s office with a PASSION)
Ooooh, the way you sprinkle little hints of doubt into SQ’s thoughts is absolutely fantastic. And painful. Very Painful.
Reynie’s so scared but you know he wouldn’t really blame SQ even if he did get brainswept
The way you added SQ’s backstory with the Helpers!! That’s so cool!! Oh my heavens, I am in love with how you added that!!!!
THIS CHILD IS SO EMPATHETIC WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF REYNARD
Now, just because I don’t think Reynie, as a small, incredibly stressed child, should be overly worried about SQ doesn’t mean I am not worried, oh my word. This Child!!! Needs A Hug!!!! Now!!!!
Jeeps.
But, the thing is, Curtain is so upset!! And he’s not upset because his Evil Villain Mastermind plan is going awry, he’s upset because the (Astoundingly Unhealthy) coping mechanisms are failing him! It makes me want to Pat Him On The Back, because I don’t think a hug would end well
MAYBE MARTINA WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IF YOU LET HIM TALK TO PEOPLE
But, really, Curtain would probably hate Martina as an influence on SQ because she’d challenge him
“Would you care to reconsider that answer, son?” And you wonder why the kid’s got trust issues
And this is it!!! Oh, Bods, I am Vibrating. Curtain’s emotional dam is cracking and it’s going to go so terribly but I wish he’d just work it out Lands Sakes Alive
It’s so infuriating that he’s being such a funky little oxymoronic moron and forcing himself not to feel emotions by thinking about people he cares about
AKJFHDHGJKGSDHJGKJGKJKHJGKJHGSKJHDKJHDGSKJSDG
DOCTOR GARRISON????????
I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days, Heavens to Betsy
SQ!!! AND THE SECRET LAB!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!
Oh, Milligan is so proud of Kate!! As he should be!! You write him going into these cute detail spirals whenever he thinks about Kate, and it’s so sweet!! I love it :)
Just the small scenes you add to fill in what we see in the show are gorgeous!!! They make me fantastically happy to read
Oh, Jackson and Jillson. They really need to discover their own personalities. Someone please save them from themselves (And Curtain)
(Quick Note: The word “falcon” has a tiny little typo in it. Nothing to worry about, I just thought you might want to know)
ONCE AGAIN. HOW IS CURTAIN ACTUALLY KIND OF CLOSE BUT SO OFF THE MARK??????
Erika!!
BODS I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM CRYING AND MELTING INTO THE FLOOR THROWING UP FROM THE PURE EMOTION HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND HOW DARE YOU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS THIS IS THE END FOR ME
ASKJKHJDGSKHJDSGKJDGKJGDFKJHFGKJHDGKJHDSGJKL
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS TO ARTICULATE THIS I AM BANGING MY FACE INTO THE WALL BODS PLEASE KNOW IF I WAS EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU I WOULD BE BRAVING THE STREETS TO DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRY ON YOUR COUCH. AFTER I EAT ALL YOUR LIGHT BULBS.
The thing about SQ hiding in the woods!! The bird ice cream!!!
THE FACT THAT SQ CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE WAS GIVEN THE ICE CREAM
NO. I DON’T TRUST HIM “MAILING OUT” THE APPLICATIONS. CURTAIN MAY LOVE HIS SON BUT HE IS OBVIOUSLY HORRENDOUSLY MISGUIDED AND KIND OF COWARDLY OH MY HEAVENS. NIKOLA TESLA AND HIS COILS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT.
Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokayokay. Listen. If this is a pattern (Which it’s seeming pretty likely), then there’s a whole other side that’s probably unintentional!!! Whenever Curtain brainsweeps SQ, which I’m assuming happens every couple of years, then Curtain gets all concerned and is much more careful with SQ because A) He feels bad, and B) SQ is super disoriented and out of it. WHICH MEANS THAT IT REINFORCES IN SQ’S MIND THAT HIS DAD IS THE ONE TO RELY ON WHEN IN STATES OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME
Oh, Oh Garrison. You are worth more than just throwing up and downing pain meds to try and get through life.
I wish Milligan, or even Curtain when he was slightly more stable, was there to care about her
(This might be me off on a mad as a March hare tangent, but is there a possibility for Garrison’s headache being because she is also a bit psychic?? I’m probably super wrong, but I am also absolutely bouncing off the walls with all of the Brain Bees you’ve given me)
And Curtain still makes her vegan food. Even though she doesn’t fully get it, and Curtain is being all crazy, he still cares about her it makes me so sad
ASHJHHHJKDSG I’m willing to bet that this is also the first time in a while she’s gotten any compliments at all, aside from the children
She’s trying to be a good person!!! But she’s also awfully conflicted like everyone else in this miserable disaster of a decaying friend group, and so it’s going badly!!! I also feel like someone might need to talk to her about her social struggles, because if she’d just stop trying to force herself to be some kind of muddied idealised hypothetical version of herself, then she might get somewhere
(And also if Curtain got off her back a little. I don’t know, I just feel like it says something about her that she has the easier time talking to children out of everyone else)
Martina!!!
Oh, she’s probably also falling apart because either she’s a fugitive and Jackson and Jillson betray her or she’s absolved and Kate’s in the wrong
The dual reactions!!!! The confusion!!! THE FACT THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON
ASFKKJDS He’s leaving them in the Waiting Room overnight??? I can’t remember if that happened in the show, but, overkill much??
Oh, and Milligan is having a crisis over being a horrible person, and then has no time to breathe as he’s absolutely panicked over what’s going to happen to Kate
DOCTOR GARRISON????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…
Bods. Buddy, Bud, Nobody, Bods.
I Am Going To Start Weeping Openly As Soon As I Finish Stealing All Of Your Left Socks
THE SIGNATURE NOBODY GUT-PUNCH ENDING
WHOOOO
I hope you know that I am wrecked, and I will never, ever be able to move past this. Seriously. I am going to remember this fic for the rest of my life, and I am just. Beyond words.
[Despite being at a loss for words, Sophie proceeded to yell and climb the walls for the next forty-five minutes]
I am going to. Just. This is insane!!! You have broken my brain!!! The Bees have been flash-frozen and are dropping like rocks!!! I can’t even process All That.
I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SO, SO GOOD AND GRAND AND I COMMEND YOU AS A WRITER AND A CREATIVE AND A HUMAN BUT ALSO I AM GOING TO SCREAM NOW
One of these days I’m going to have to write a full-blown essay, or, like, make a PowerPoint about how I have been emotionally devastated because your writing has fully cemented itself as a fundamental part of my personality.
Just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One of these days I am going to learn the words to get across to you how much this means with me and how Full Of Emotion I Am
Oh, goodness, I need to go to sleep.
I couldn’t wait and I really wanted to read it, but my “reviews” have become less coherent commentaries and more “live” reactions, and there was so much going on that I needed to get all of my thoughts out immediately.
Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou, thank you, Thank You, from the bottom of my heart, for this. This chapter, this fic, this entirety of you existing. Thank you so much
Alright, I’m going to try and sleep now, as if I am ever going to recover from this :)
#Did you enjoy watching the light in my eyes die as I worked my way through? /s#For all seriousness though#I am INFATUATED with this chapter#Rotating Microwaving Centrifuging S P I N N I N G#I don't even got the words anymore#You've broken my mental dictionary. Which I will say is quite the feat.#Thank you for this#Quite literally an instance of “You could (and did) deck me in the face and I'd thank you for it”#Ah man I have to sleep now#Thank you once again shutting up now because my brain is overtired and quite broken#s.o.s.#OH! And I shouldn't have to say#But please remember to take time and enjoy yourself!!!#I'm always happy to read whatever you want to share#But you are under no obligation to adhere to a schedule or even to post anything at all :)#Remember you are important!!!!#This wouldn't be any fun if you aren't having a good time too#You are a valued human!! Don't forget!! And don't let silly things like my excess energy pressure you!!!#Okay goodnight
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