#we do unsafe things all of the time but since we know the dangers and the warnings we will go about to be much safer in practicing it

[sirfrogsworth]

Meeting my longtime artist and good friend, Chris, IN REAL LIFE!

So, I hadn't been to a restaurant in over a decade. I can't even remember which restaurant since it was so long ago. But in the past few weeks I've now been to TWO restaurants.

I am becoming a social butterfly. 

And it is exhausting.

But also good.

First I reconnected with my high school best friend, John.

And that went great.

But then the opportunity to see my friend Chris (a.k.a @whosthewhatnow ) came up only a few days later. And this close proximity of social events scared me a bit, but I have been feeling much better since they figured out my heart thing, so I decided to try and do both things even though they were only a few days apart. 

The key to this was strategic resting. As soon as I got home from seeing John, I got in bed and I didn't get out of it until it was time to see Chris. And that was just enough recovery time to pull this off. Typically a short outing requires 2-3 days of rest after. 

I had never met Chris in real life. He has done nearly all of the artwork for my website and comics over the past decade. And he was a main character in my CRAPPRnauts series.

We know each other so well and it is crazy that we've never seen each other with our very own eyeballs.

He is such an amazing artist. He works fast and he adds so many cool extra details that you can stare at his comic panels multiple times and catch a new joke or easter egg each time. He is a dream to work with and my Corg Life series was only successful because he did such a wonderful job bringing Otis to life in comic form. 

So we decided to meet up at a restaurant with his friend Michael and then I was going to take a nice portrait of him after dinner. Chris had never had a professional photo taken of himself and I decided to fix that.

I told him I had a mobile photography setup. Which, in reality, is a trunk full of lights and stands and other various camera gear that I definitely won't need, but bring anyway. It's "mobile" in that it all fits in my car if you are good at Tetris (which I am).

The restaurant was downtown and I had visions of St. Louis's famous Gateway Arch in the background of Chris's portrait. I thought that would be such a cool shot. I could see it in my head and I even dreamed about it.

So I got in my car and headed downtown and my GPS told me to exit at 249B. But I kept looking and I couldn't see the sign for 249B.

This is how much road I had left when I finally was able to see the exit for 249B.

So I ended up taking 249A and going straight to East St. Louis.

Which, if you believe the headlines, is not a place you ever want to be.

Google Maps and I have been having issues lately. They also tried to get me to take the spooky way home that night, but thankfully I actually knew the non-spooky way back from when I used to go to Cardinal games with my parents as a kid.

My short term memory was trashed by shock therapy. And so was a lot of my long term memory. But it finally came through in a pinch and remembered something useful.

I only had to loop around and cross a bridge so I didn't really do anything but touch the edge of East St. Louis. I was mostly concerned about being late for dinner more than its scary reputation. Usually those news stories about a place being "dangerous" are actually just racist and hurtful to people stuck in poverty. I mean, technically my house is in a "dangerous" neighborhood, and we do have trouble with petty crime in some spots, but aside from a few dinged-up mailboxes, I've never felt unsafe in my home.

On the way back to regular St. Louis I could see the Arch on the horizon at sunset and it was kind of magical. And I wasn't able to get a good shot of it, but it sure looked pretty from my point of view. 

My photos kind of remind me of the beginning of movies like Training Day where they are trying to show you gritty, dutch angle shots of the city out of the car window to give you a sense of the location.

As I approached the restaurant I invented a new genre I call "stoplight photography." The sky was orange and the streets of St. Louis were just asking to be photographed. But I wasn't willing to die to get neat photos, so I just took them at every red light.

The big trick was trying to edit the dark area at the top of my windshield out of the photos to make it look like I didn't take these pictures from my car.

After a 15 minute detour through Illinois I arrived at my destination—a Mexican place called Rosalita's. It had a beautiful sign, so I took that literal sign as a metaphorical sign it was a nice place to get a quesadilla. 

Dinner was great. Both signs were right and their quesadilla was very tasty. Chris and I both got one, so we are quesadilla twins. The waitress was one of those "I can remember your order without writing anything down" types. And I am one of those, "I get anxiety when things aren't written down" types. And, to her credit, she did not forget our orders. But she did forget to give us silverware and napkins. So I still feel like my anxiety was valid. 

We told sad stories of the pups we lost. But we also had a lot of fun and laughed and I got to meet Michael who turned out to be an absolute mensch. I sometimes have trouble meeting new people with my social anxiety, but he was very affable and made me feel comfortable with his presence almost right away. He was a fan of Otis and mentioned he still has a Super Otis shirt. I always get choked up hearing that Otis is still loved. Hopefully we get to meet again. 

Dinner ended and it was picture time.

I asked Chris if he wanted the high effort photo or the low effort photo. Either we figure out how to get to the Arch or we find a spot near the restaurant and just take his portrait there. Chris and Michael had a driver because they were coming from a big conference and getting to the Arch would have been complicated. So we decided to go with the low effort option. 

I found a cool shop nearby that had an LED wall that changed to all sorts of different colors. And I thought that would make a neat background and give a colorful edge light on Chris's face. I pulled my car near that spot and started unloading my trunk full of photo gear.

I think Chris and Michael were a little overwhelmed when I started pulling camera gear out of my trunk like a clown pulling an endless handkerchief out of his mouth. But as far as photo setups go, it was actually pretty minimal. 

Light, giant battery, light stand, umbrella, tripod, camera, rolling walker with seat.

My dad's old rollator came in clutch because I wanted to shoot from a low angle and it is hard for me to bend down. In fact, I think I'm going to look into getting an all terrain version so I can do more outdoor photoshoots.

I started shooting in the middle of a downtown sidewalk. And I was super anxious. I could not focus (my brain, not my camera). I was very distracted with all of the people walking by and staring. I was not sure if any of the photos were turning out. I wasn't even sure if they were in focus (my camera, not my brain) because I had not yet had my lens calibrated. But down the street there was a guy with an old school boombox playing random music. His music helped to drown out the ambient noise and gave me some comfort.

I had no clue if the photos were any good, but when I got home and checked them on my computer, I realized I have 12 years of experience and muscle memory built up. I probably should have just trusted myself because the photos all turned out great.

I think Chris can now officially say he has had a professional portrait taken of himself.

This photo has been officially loved by Chris's girlfriend and mother.

There is no greater seal of approval and I am honored.

I was able to comp in any of the colors the wall displayed from other shots in case Chris is feeling a little more green in the future.

A literal rainbow of options.

I also liked this one, though it is a little more "environmental portrait" than regular portrait.

And I got some nice photos of our little group to help us remember the night. 

And I got a bunch of photos of Chris making silly faces like Calvin at his school photoshoot. 

I love this woman's reaction to our little impromptu sidewalk photo shenanigans.

After we said our goodbyes and I gave my friend a hug, I was a little bummed I didn't get to photograph him at the Arch like I had dreamed.

But then I realized I had my own car and it was capable of taking me places. (I actually haven't gotten used to that after not driving for nearly 15 years.)

So I decided to drive a few blocks over to Kiener Plaza—a park with a view of the Arch. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[jalalandfamily]

Help jalal and my family 🚑🚨🇵🇸

To the warm hearted people remaining in this world who reads this my letter , and after suffering to be able to place this letter in your hands...

Hello my friend,

I am Jalal Ayyad, a Palestinian from Gaza, stuck in the Arab Republic of Egypt due to the war that followed the Gaza Strip.

There is my whole family in Gaza (My warm refuge that circumstances prevented us from) ..14 members , my mother, my brothers, my 4 sisters and their children , my 2 nephews and their mother . They are at risk at any time due to heavy bombing, and they also suffer from the difficulty of providing food and drink due to the scarcity of food resources resulting from the siege.

Even if these foodstuffs are available, they cannot buy them due to the extreme rise in prices. As you know, we have children as young as 4 years old, and it is natural for the child to have better care and protection from this terror, psychological pressure, and constant anxiety.

My family, who are now sheltering in a simple tent in the refugee camps in the centre of Gaza Strip , after they were displaced from our warm home, which was bombed and its traces and memories were erased from our neighborhood, Al-Shujaiya neighborhood in northern Gaza. After that, my family’s repeated displacements continued due to the horror and horrible events, from the north to the center, then to Khan Yunis, then to Rafah and now to the centre of Gaza Strip .. The areas of bombing and danger.. The forced displacement scenario is still ongoing, so where do people go ?!!! There is no safe place here that will protect my family and children from this horror.

Tim, my 5-year-old nephew, was so excited to go to school for the first time. He was eagerly waiting for this day, dreaming of playing with his friends and learning a lot of new things. But, as he was preparing for this important day, w:a,.r came and turned his life upside down.

Suddenly, everything changed. Tim can no longer go to school due to the difficult conditions left by the war. He found himself and his family living in an unsafe and turbulent environment...from a warm and safe home in the arms of his family and loved ones to a tent in the middle of this hot summer and the sounds of war that terrify him at night..

Despite this continues terror, Tim was exposed to the disease of jaundice, yellow eyes, laziness, sleeping a lot, loss of appetite and high body temperature..Because of the w.,a.r, there is difficulty in obtaining medicine, food, and drink for this disease. Despite all this, Tim remained determined to maintain his hope and courage despite the difficult circumstances he faces.

With your kind help, I hope that we will achieve Tim’s wish, which he dreams of so much.

I have been stuck in Egypt now for 9 months since the heinous war, amidst anxiety, fear, anticipation, and intense psychological pressure that no human being can bear. I lost my degree and my university was destroyed and turned into ashes. I have nothing I can do to save my family, relieve them, and pull them out of this horror. I do not even have a residence permit here nor a source of income that I can rely on.

I cannot get any news about my family to reassure my heart about them except only once a month and for a few minutes, interspersed with poor Internet connection, in light of the events whose scales change and increase in severity every minute.

I hope that every person who reads this message can influence my family's life and save them from this tragedy.

With your kind help, I will be able to provide them with food and drink expenses and meet their needs.

I am attaching for you some proof, represented by some pictures taken with a trembling heart of our neighborhood and our destroyed homes, which were taken at the beginning of the war, before the displacement and the entry of the occupation into it.

Thank you, dear reader, for reading my story and reaching this point. I hope you can help save my family from this tragedy. May God help all those affected, and I hope that no one will go through or experience this disastrous situation. Thank you all from depths of my heart .

Save my family from war, I have no hope but your help..

‏My family needs you, don't forget them

‏Donate and spread🙏🏻💔

[evilzsat]

Addressing the "drama"

Before I start, I never wanted to make this post because I was scared of being harassed by people. But that already happened, so I got nothing to lose! I'm sorry for those people who are annoyed by this drama already but I need to address some things because it seems like DREAMING-OF- BARBI and his fiance kiskii are spreading misinformation and kiskii is trying to make it seem like Elliot is the victim. Name dropping? Yeah I don't care anymore, harassing a kid and other people in the outlast community is too far so I don't care if you call this "witchhunting" or whatever.

So here's the stuff they have done in a server which had MINORS.

I'm gonna split some stuff apart so you'll understand better

ELLIOT'S SERVER

Dreaming-of-Barbi aka Elliot made a server for Outlast ocs and he shared the link on his tumblr. Only mutuals could join and people who asked for the invite. Since it didn't say it was a 18+ server or not I joined, and I actually got in so it wasn't one. He followed me and saw that I'm a minor because I HAD IT IN MY BIO.

The server was still new so I offered to help making the roles because I have experience and I really liked how the server was so far. I became a mod immediately, even though I was confused because I was a minor and I thought I couldn't become a mod.

THE IMPORTANT PART: After a few days there was an argument happening in the server because we found out one of the members is a pr0shipper. Now I don't wanna get into this whole topic, there were minors in the server so you know what I'm trying to say! It's dangerous! I know it is. I was harassed by one of those people and it made me suicidal for a long time. I struggle with trusting people because of it.

Elliot was present during the argument but HE LEFT and before that he said "I'm not in the mood to deal with this right now" or something like that. I can't provide proof for this because the server was deleted. He left us alone, so we had to deal with the problem and we did. I banned the pr0shipper for obvious reasons. MINORS WERE THERE.

We had a groupchat for mods only. After I banned the pr0shipper Elliot was angry at us because he "couldn't see what happened" he was present. he did see what's happening but he left because he is not a responsible owner.

Now this message wouldn't even be a problem because it's understandable. The red lines show what's the problem, HE WAS PRESENT. He knew something was happening! But he didn't do anything about it because "he was shaken up". Why are you an owner then? And have a problem with your mods doing YOUR job.

My response to his message. I agree I should've not deleted the messages, that was dumb of me. But that's not the problem here.

Here's Elliot defending pr0shipping. He is dismissing the problem and he DOESN'T CARE about pr0shippers being around minors. This just straight up confirms he is one of them which I wouldn't care about if he didn't become friends with minors and let them be in his server. I'm not gonna explain the red lines because hopefully you can see what's wrong.

Again, the same problem. Dismissing the problem and saying that ONLY RACIST PEOPLE AND HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE SHOULD BE BANNED IMMEDIATELY.

At this point I was freaking out because I didn't feel safe anymore. I didn't know who am I talking to.

"You shouldn't be a mod if you are a minor" Like I said, I had it in my tumblr bio. My instagram bio. My mod intro in the server WHICH ELLIOT REACTED TO.

I meant to say "Learn to read bios"

"Moonweaver" is kiskii

This again provides my point. They don't care about minors safety, they are exposing them to content they shouldn't see and think "blocking" and a "blacklist" is gonna solve the problem Spoiler: IT WON'T. THEY ARE IN THE SAME SPACE.

After this, Jollytarp asked Elliot if he knew what Pr0shipping means because at this point even though the "argument" ended we all felt unsure and unsafe. We thought maybe it was a misunderstanding.

HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF MINORS BEING GROOMED BY HIS OWN SERVER MEMBERS. I'm not gonna repeat myself, hopefully you see the problem.

"Witch hunt" there was no witch hunt. I banned someone who was making people feel unsafe, they don't want to be in the same space as them for obvious reasons.

"People I know being hurt because of pettiness" Again, not gonna repeat myself. Those type of people hurt me and many people, this is not pettiness. AND LETTING THEM INTERACT WITH MINORS IS DANGEROUS.

ELLIOT HARASSING ME

Elliot blocked both of my accounts. I could not see his posts. One of the people I know sent a post which said that Franco did nothing wrong and that he's a victim.

I always block and scroll, but one thing I can't stand is people being misogynistic EVEN TOWARDS FICTIONAL WOMEN. Women face enough shit in real life.

This was not witch hunting, I was stating my opinion on this topic since I already felt overwhelmed by some Franco fans who were "babying" him and I did it BECAUSE I can, it's the internet. FREE SPEECH.

I made my post, then you all know what happened. Elliot started pretending that I'm harassing people when it was all him.

Here is him trying to make it seem like I'm the anon.

"I'm not worried because I know I haven't done anything wrong" Yeah okay. "I don't care" He did care because he spent a whole day harassing me with his fiance.

Also, here's his fiance saying that Elliot is the one getting "harassed." THERE IS NO WITCH HUNTING. At this point I'm just repeating myself.

I'm not gonna start talking about this person's post because, I'm gonna be blunt, but it's bullshit. Using "minor" as an insult because you can't say anything else is honestly embarassing.

THESE PEOPLE ARE ADULTS PUTTING MINORS IN DANGER AND ALSO HARASSING ME AND THE OUTLAST COMMUNITY. PLEASE BLOCK THEM AND SPREAD THIS POST.

@ramontism (Ramoro) @crispy-dib (Jollytarp) the mods on the screenshots.

[dimonds456]

Billford and Abuse: An Analysis

Honestly, as someone who ships both Billford and Fiddauthor, the thing I like about the toxic yaoi ship is the fact that it IS toxic. Like, the jokes are great, but its depiction of abuse is so, like... genuine. Without getting personal, I've been in a really fucking bad toxic (platonic) relationship before, and Billford deadass helped me come to terms with it.

Cuz here's the thing: most fictional abusive relationships just start with the abuse itself. It shows the victim and the perpetrator at the height (or almost at the height) of the abuse, and we see as either one of them is destroyed by it or the victim becomes free. But Billford actually shows the WHOLE timeline.

Something that bothers me about a lot of fictional abuse reps is the fact that you cannot sympathize with the victim aside from "aw that's horrible :(". Cuz it just starts AT the abuse. We don't see how they got there or what's causing the victim to stay. We just know they need to escape.

But with Billford, we see EVERYTHING. How it started out as something Ford genuinely loved, seeing Bill as a friend and someone he could trust, how it made him feel better because he was actually making progress on his research and he wasn't lonely anymore.

To Ford during those early days, Bill was the highlight of his time in Gravity Falls. We can follow his train of thought exactly to where he let Bill possess him with basically no strings attached (pun intended).

That's what makes it all the more devastating. Bill isolated Ford from everyone. He sabotaged his friendship with Fiddleford by planting that seed of doubt in the engineer and pulling Ford further and further into his plans. Then the thing with the portal happened and Ford had NOWHERE to go. Plus, Bill kept trying to get Ford to stop thinking about Stan, to move on and let him rot. So he kept planting seeds of doubt in his own brother as well, causing Ford to further and further slip away.

Then Ford confronts Bill. And the monster is unleashed.

Once Bill realizes he's lost control of Ford's devotion and the illusion has shattered, Bill just LEANS into it. In order to take control back, he started tormenting Ford and just being horrible to him, to try and make him fall in line. Love and fear ARE right next to each other in the brain, after all. And there's NOTHING Ford can do but just fall further and further into paranoia.

Bill demonstrates many real-world abusive/manipulative tactics on Ford, the big one being isolation, since that allows the rest of the everything to even happen, but the way he turns Ford against LITERALLY EVERYONE using paranoia is really true to real life.

Now obviously your toxic boyfriend cannot possess random strangers irl. But you know what he CAN do? Start spreading rumors behind your back. Stalk you. Harass you. Make you feel unsafe everywhere except home (which isn't safe either, but it's better than the outside world). He can spend your money or break your things. Slash your tires. In Ford's case, LITERALLY abusing his body. There's the sticky notes, the threats, the roof incident, all of it just piling one atop the other.

I cannot imagine how fucking terrified Ford must have been to finally send that postcard to Stanley. He was at a point where he assumed Stan would hate him, or at the very least wouldn't respond so why even bother, and he'd just gotten the "steal your eyes" threat. He was out of options, and was absolutely sure he was putting Stan in danger by getting him involved (another irl abuse thing that happens).

He was scared to reach out for help because 1) he didn't want others getting hurt (like Fidds had), 2) he was ashamed he'd let this happen, and 3) he, on some level, felt like he deserved this.

Justified? To a paranoid, scared, abused, irrational brain: Absolutely. In reality? Never. But HE'D built that portal. HE'D allowed Bill to possess his body basically freely. HE'D basically helped start the apocalypse. And that shame would have lead to SO much self-hatred and despair.

His reaching out to Stan was his last resort, his only way out. THAT'S what intrigues me about the ship so much.

I do not want them to make up and get back together. They're horrible for each other. But I do enjoy exploring the dynamic of it, fully seeing the cycle and how it happens, and seeing a whole new side to Ford that we only caught a glimpse of in the show and Journal 3. Plus Bill but his side is more comedic and sad to me I do not take him seriously FSDGHJ

The jokes are great and I love it here, but if I ever write a fic or draw art for these two it's going to be toxic as hell man. And not in the fun way fgsjd

[dramatic-dolphin]

Re. Your women being so scared thing. And to be clear I mostly agree with you.

I'm not sure where you're from, but I'm from New York, and I can say for sure that I'd feel more safe in the most dangerous part of the UK than basically anywhere in the US. My Parisian aunt thinks Gare du Nord too dangerous to walk near under any circumstances, but to me it seems like a normal bigger train station level of danger, and the streets around it seem normal. I lived in a university town in the UK for a year, and I never felt in danger there or in London, even alone, even in the middle of the night. I was never alone in Berlin, but I was out at night, and I felt at least as comfortable as I would in New York. So I think, at last in the places I've been and from my experience, America is more dangerous and much scarier. I have never been street harassed in the UK, and I have been harassed and followed in New York plenty, and had several people attempt to attack me. Men in the US will also often harass you from a car, which is an explicit threat. It's also important to remember that parking lots are bad places to be and most of the US has to drive, and therefore park.

That said, I know some women who won't ride the subway at night, or at all, and that seems very paranoid to me. If you're riding at a remotely normal time and are paying any attention to your surroundings, you're almost certainly going to be fine. I also know girls who, even once they're in a car, of course, will send friends their location just in case. This seems extremely paranoid to me. Maybe check you're going the right way like one time. I do still think some of the things people do can be reasonable caution - yeah, didn't go hiking on a first date - but the perspective people are throwing at you strikes me as distinctly privileged. No one who's ever had a job can think that way. I've worked with a few women who took cars home after every shift, or their dad or their boyfriend picked them up in a car, and at that point, you have a job as a hobby, because unless he works nearby, you just spent your minimum wage on gas. If you take a cab home in New York, from Manhattan to any other borough, that's most of your pay. So to me, this level of paranoia generally reads that you've never had to be alone anywhere so you don't understand what it means, and you've never had to do shit with, and if you did do it, the money wasn't important.

Yeah a lot of time I get mad at this online because it just seems overly paranoid to me, and then a woman comes in with a personal experience or anecdotes, and it hits me that maybe the US *is* actually that bad? I live in Hungary, and I really like walking alone in the city at night, or going for long walks in the forest alone, and I've never really felt unsafe doing that, but - and this is crucial - neither have most of the women I talk to. Or at least, not to this degree. So, yeah, the US is possibly worse and more unsafe? I can believe that, it's just hard to conceptualize I guess, since the US likes to portray itself as tbe baseline for a "civilized" country, and I live in *Eastern Europe*. So there's preconceptions here, lol.

But yes, a lot of these, even when corrected for this, are just paranoid, there's no other way to see it. Like, no matter where you live, you truly do NOT need to share your location every time you leave home. And there's also the matter of being disconnected from the people and community around you, like being scared to help your neighbor or someone on your street. We live in a society, you kind of have to take an active part of it.

A lot of it is just a lot of energy spent on being scared every waking moment of your life. Like, okay, in the reddit thread I saw this in, there was a woman saying that she ALWAYS puts her ID in her front pocket when she goes outside so they can easily IDENTIFY THE BODY IF SHE DIES. Like what material good does worrying about this bring to your life? It's not even a self-defense technique, doing this will not help you with staying alive!! All it does is make you think about "oh no, I could get murdered" every time you leave the house. This is NOT a healthy mindset!

It's like a strange and widespread kind of anxiety, and the worst part is, it has you convinced it's necessary, and you can't get rid of it unless you make an active effort to do things despite being scared. First you have to convince yourself that you *won't* get murdered by your date if you don't share your location, and that's the hardest part. And yeah lol, having to do things alone helps you with this tremendously, because you realize that you've just taken the subway at night alone and survived. But if you're never forced to do things alone, you get stuck in this weird fear spiral, and whenever you see a stranger, you end up thinking about how they could murder you.

[ravemetrotron]

AITA for Waging Civil War on an Ex Friend of Mine After they Undermined my Entire Political Movement/Uprising? [submitted by Gladiator01]

For context: I, (2,000,000 M), and many others, had been stuck since birth in a job we couldn’t quit in grueling unsafe and dangerous conditions; and to add to that the employers didn’t care in the slightest for their workers and saw them more as tools that were expendable, and this kind of thinking was deeply rooted in everyone, thanks to the current government.

Once I escaped the situation, I started speaking up and gaining like minded followers, and started an uprising for equal rights for the working class (I’ll spare you the details or what we did to get there because the rumors about bombing innocence were NOT true) with the intention of completely dismantling our current system.

This (ex) online friend of mine is who is a librarian of all things and had been living a ‘low-middle’ caste life when I met him, and he actually went out of his way to come meet me in person. Being able to talk in person made us grow closer, he’d been moved by my speeches and seemingly was fully in support of the end goal we sought to achieve.

Advisors of mine didn’t trust him but we’d already been to talking and at that point he seemed really genuine, I (unfortunately) didn’t think twice about including him in a future meeting with our ruling powers at the time, which I knew was bound to determine whether or not this whole campaign would become full blown war. At that rate we mutually considered each other as more brothers than as friends, I mean I really had trust in this guy.

So, the day finally arrives, I have an audience with the big assholes in charge, and I’m going about letting them have it. Obviously, I threaten violence if they don’t cooperate and make it known that we will continue our uprising whether they like it or not.

In my opinion it’s going well and then this (ex)friend of mine has the chance to speak. About three sentences in, and it’s clear all of a sudden that he disproves of my methods. Hello? Where is all this coming from, and here of all places to suddenly reveal this to me? I figured I could put the betrayal and embarrassment aside and at least hear him out, maybe he was wording it badly or just had a rough start. I wanted so badly to give him the benefit of the doubt.

But it gets so much worse, he agrees that the change I wanted to bring about needs to happen but by peaceful compromise. While he proposes this not only does he the name of my entire faction through the mud, but out of the blue proclaims that those on the side of his ideals are to be called something else and would be separate from my movement. [I can’t share the name he chose to use for his political faction for the sake of user privacy] I could hardly believe what I was hearing, but I guess the shock of it kept me quiet and all I could do was listen at that rate.

I shit you not this fucker took the opportunity to build his own following in a day, one built off the principals of my followers, but one that would be slow and convenient for our whole… country, let’s say, to adjust to and one that left the current dictators in power. One that would leave those like me and my following to continue to die by the thousands day by every day they took their sweet time. He was a smart guy, I don’t think he was truly naive enough to believe this would somehow save more lives, he knew what he was doing. He made a compromise that worked in the favor of those in power, put the idea of violence or forceful change down and made his side seem morally higher, and wouldn’t you know it the people (not my people, obviously) ate that shit up.

As if all this wasn’t enough, he was immediately— and I mean right then and there— appointed one of the highest stances that existed by our government (under themselves anyways). The situation would have been almost comical had it not fucked over everything I’d been working for for the last few thousand years.

And this little shit looks at me like he’s expecting approval or for me to be proud. I told everyone right then and there I wasn’t backing down, all the threats I made still stood, and that they were fools for so quickly putting a fucking librarian of all things in such a position. I’d lived through the very thing we sought to take down, I had years and years of military and combat training, I was willing to make the tougher choices he was clearly avoiding, but no. These people wanted him. I wanted nothing to do with him from there on out, but he and his supporters saw me as an unreasonable aggressor. Of course they would after all that shit he just shoveled down their throats, I cannot express in words how embarrassing a defeat this was and the sudden horribly ill feeling that settled in. It felt like every organ in my body had dropped to the floor and the shock and anger of it made my head ring.

From then on out there’s been a Civil War between those who truly stuck with me and those who were on his side. We’re still viewed as the evil side of things now thousands of years later. AITA?

Edit: no I did not make this up, no it’s not a promotional scheme for a movie plot, and no you cannot use it for OC lore. Stop asking irrelevant questions.

☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰

Credit for the idea goes to @final-milf-ratchet .

[lialacleaf]

The Chief And The Intern

Chief x Reader

Was Waiting All Along

It had been months since you had heard from John. Life hadn’t been the same since you’d gone back to finish your last semester of your master degree. University used to excite you, but after having run around the galaxy with the UNSC, being in actual danger, you felt bored.

Your friends noticed the difference when suddenly you were unavailable to go to the mall, and more interested in visiting the firing range.

Your mother almost fainted when she learned you’d taken up a martial arts class in your spare time. Your grades weren’t suffering, so you didn’t exactly see the problem.

Your father had pestered you every day to submit your application to his company, but the only place you’d sent your application was the UNSC’s board of communications.

You were going to find John, and the rest of Blue Team. You couldn’t just submit to the life your parents wanted for you, even if you’d be monumentally disappointing them.

You were scrolling through your laptop in your little dormitory when you saw it. You’d been scrolling through emails for hours, each rejection letter making your heart sink further and further when you saw it.

“We would like to receive your application for our recently opened clerical assistant position.”

It wasn’t exactly what you wanted to be doing but there was one little phrase that caught your eye.

“Reporting to Spartan Lieutenant 104”

There was no way. Fred had found you? How in the world had he managed that? You took a quick glance over the email before following the provided link to submit your application and cover letter.

“You did what?” your father asked as you silently cut into your steak.

“I applied to the UNSC, and I got in. I’m leaving after the graduation ceremony,” you stated firmly.

“But what about the job your father lined up for you at his company! You’re just going to throw that away? I can’t imagine the UNSC is going to pay someone very much for communications work,” your mother rambled frantically as she set her fork down.

Family diners in your parent’s penthouse were always tense, but this was another ball park entirely.

“It’s clerical work actually,” you muttered.

“Yn! What are you thinking!” your mother asked.

I’m thinking there’s a very handsome space soldier up there waiting for me. I’m thinking I’m tired of being coddled at thirty two years old.

“It’s a good opportunity. Free travel, important connections-“

“It’s unsafe!”

“Nowhere is safe Mom!” You said, slamming your knife on the table. “I’m tired of pretending that Sydney is safe just because it makes you feel better to have me at arm's length,” you said, standing from your place at the table.

“You’re not going to survive out there, yn,” your father scoffed.

“Maybe I wouldn’t have before, but things are different now. I’m not changing my mind on this.”

Your parents didn’t come to your graduation ceremony. You noticed that their chairs were empty as you lined up to walk across the stage.

It left a bitter taste in your mouth. You were being punished for not doing what you were told. Despite having argued with them, you’d at least wanted them to attend.

You tried to smile for the pictures as you walked across the stage, but it didn’t feel real. After the ceremony you packed your suitcases and left your dorm for the shuttles.

What if John wasn’t waiting for you anymore? What if you got up there and he’d moved on entirely?

You felt your throat tighten as you neared the pickup and your legs began to shake.

Were you making a mistake? Could you still turn around? Your parents would never respect you if you did.

You shook your head, silencing these thoughts as you loaded onto the shuttle. This wasn’t just about John. You were doing this for yourself as well.

“Wasn’t she supposed to be here already?”

Fred didn’t bother answering the question, knowing full well that if he told John the cargo ship was running late he’d probably grab a rifle and a ship and go out looking for you himself.

Six months wasn’t a long time, but it was long enough to make the Master Chief miss you so much he could hardly breathe.

“She’ll get here when she gets here,” Fred said with a shrug as they waited in the cargo hold.

“She’ll probably be hungry, we should take her to the mess. She’s probably forgotten how to get there,” Kelly said, admittedly excited to see you again.

When the intercom finally announced the arrival of your ship, Blue Team sprung into action. John searched the faces of deboarding passengers for you, feeling a sense of panic until your smaller figure appeared, hauling two large suitcases.

He froze all of a sudden, willing his feet to move but unable to do so. He’d never felt this way before. Never had to hesitate, and yet he felt as if his stomach was doing summersaults.

Your eyes finally settled on him, and your feet halted.

Six months. Had anything changed?

You moved first, your hands abandoning their grip on your bags as you ran to him. Time seemed to catch up with the Spartan all of a sudden, and he barely registered that you had flung yourself towards him in time to bend forward and wrap his arms around your waist, hauling you in for a tight hug that squeezed the breath right out of you.

You buried your face in the Chief’s shoulder and sighed, the smell of gunpowder and cinnamon a sure sign that you were home.

“How’d you find me?” You murmured into his shoulder.

“Wasn’t that hard. Had some connections keeping an eye out for you. Ready to get back to work?”

He asked, setting you down as Fred and Kelly retrieved your bags. Linda gave you a firm pay on the shoulder in greeting.

This was exactly what you needed. Blue Team’s support, the promise of adventure on the horizon, and the Chief’s arms around you.

“As I’ll ever be,” you declared with a grin and the Spartan smiled softly at you. He had you back, and this time he wasn’t letting you go anywhere.

Tag List: @discowizard88 @laurenstacy610 @amaraohara @starchaser-the-prophet @embarrassedauthornerd @117s-girl

[punkshitposts]

genuine question, sorry if it's stupid or something

I'm all for ACAB truly, I mean that

but genuinely... if let's say someone I know goes missing or gets severely injured, what do I do instead of call the cops?

This ISN'T a stupid question at all actually this is a really common thing that comes up on both sides of the pro vs anti cop debate:

there's no good answer i can currently give you, and any answer i CAN give might not be accurate to where you live. AFAIK, in America, you can't call 911 and specifically request they don't send cops (I guess you can, but the operator doesn't have to abide by your request). In America, at least, our system just isn't set up to minimize cop interactions because cops ARE the center of the system. Telling you that you can absolutely in all circumstances get away with not interacting with cops would be irresponsible of me- you don't have to like it, I definitely don't, but until a better one is put in place we'll occasionally have to use the system to get what we want and need.

any potential 911 alternatives are generally situation specific and regional.

so, what can you do instead:

INJURY: assess. is this person already critical?

YES: you are likely going to have to bite the bullet to call 911, unless you live somewhere you can call the emergency direct to EMS.

NO: Can you move them? Can you or someone else transport them? Will they MAKE it to the hospital using these means of transportate? <- if all of these are YES, take them directly to the Emergency Room yourself and forgoe 911. If any are NO: you are likely going to need to call 911 and interact the cops that show up to save injured person.

MISSING PERSON: I don't think I can in good faith tell you that this would be a situation where you could avoid cops. It could both further any potential danger the missing individual is in, and i believe not filing a report could potentially get you yourself into trouble.

what you may be able to do instead: assess. Where SHOULD the person be? Is there any likely alternative places they could be at? can you or someone else check those places? What reason could they have to not be in the place they should be? Is this out-of-character? How long has it been since they were last seen? Do you believe they could be in danger?

Depending on the answers: First: Assuming that to classify someone as a "Missing Person", several people know their missing and not just you. if that's wrong... you should probably go tell other people. Second: I hate to say it. This is a bite-the-bullet and file a report. Third: Call applicable hotlines. Fourth: Organize search efforts. While official channels have now been used for all legal reasons, Do Not Rely On Them.

YOU ARE IN ACTIVE DANGER: Assess. Do you have the time or ability to call someone else to come help you?

YES: Make contact attempt with this person. With key words being "Active Danger", it is might probably be time to bite-the-bullet again after that. Self-Defense laws vary wildly regionally, even city-to-city, so know what yours are ahead of this. If you have to defend yourself and the offender is injured or killed, the 911 call will in most cases help you PROVE self defense.

NO: See above, minus first sentence. For clarity, I'm NOT using"Active Danger" as ye olde hostile interaction or generalized unsafe situations, but more on the lines of "active home invasion" or "person actively Trying to kill me dead right at this very second"

im not going to tell you that you should absolutely never call 911, that's incredibly irresponsible of me. im not going to tell you to let yourself or someone else die to avoid cops. in an ideal world, we would have a completely different system to use wherein "is it safer to call or to not call emergency services?" isn't a question anyone has to ask, but we don't live in that word right now. And, again and as always please feel free to add your own opinions, stances, takes, ect and to ask me to clarify things that don't make sense. This is an incredibly loaded topic that I make no claims to be an expert on, but I did answer you to the best of my current ability. I apologize for any and all clunky/awkward wordings and phrasings , and this post will probably get edited™ sometime in the future.

[beebopboom]

The Halo was the Cause

I feel like Aziraphale using his halo is not talked about enough

the halo is reason we got the ending we got- it’s the reason the metatron shows up

cause this is a move that hasn’t been used since The Great War in heaven and is seen as an opening act for a war

but also when he used it is so important too because he is doing it to protect the bookshop and the humans- with help from the humans themselves- and it’s after the gateway to heaven has been opened so anyone up there could be listen and watching

and taking a step back and looking at the bare minimum details that night was a large gathering of humans who have an escape plan for when the demons arrive (even if we know it’s bullshit) but not all of them leave and even let/lure the demons into an angels embassy who then run into a pre made trap and have “weapons” used against them

and then comes out the halo- a weapon of war

i think the presence of maggie and nina during this whole thing is meant to highlight the side aziraphale is really on- fighting for and with humans- while jim/gabriel is just kind of shoved to the side

and when the angels and demons arrive in the bookshop they are each standing on opposite sides while aziraphale and crowley are standing together with humans behind them physically making another side while they are discussing war (and when crowley is tasked with making sure nina and maggie are safely escorted away and aziraphale is left to deal with the angels and demons they both trust each other to get it done)

and then the metatron shows up with a coffee- an inherently human thing- along with saying a human expression and sending the angels back up to heaven very clearly trying to on aziraphale’s good side

metatron side tangent incoming

because isn’t it interesting the first time we see the metatron in a physical corporation is after is an unplanned act of war that set off alarms in heaven for the second time that week both done by the same angel who is a wildcard with a love of humanity- the dude is nervous and wants to make sure he get aziraphale back under his control- he even breathes out a sigh when they get in the elevator

and also when he is getting the coffee he ask nina if anyone ever actually picks death between the options of coffee or death and when she answers no he says that it was predictable- that humans are predictable and because of that he understands and has the moral high ground over them- he doesn’t consider them a threat or an option

and then he gives coffee to an angel who doesn’t like either of those options but prefers tea or hot chocolate or wine

also another side tangent

angels and demons are known to not be so bright about humans-how they work and how they live- crowley and aziraphale have been using this to their advantage to hang out since pretty much the beginning so imagine how unsettling it was for the metatron to be coming in with all these human things- the outfit, the coffee, and expressions- and knowing that none of their usual excuses would probably work. The metatron is purposefully putting himself in a position of power over an angel that he has lost control over

anyway back to what i was saying

and let’s not forget what aziraphale has been trying to do all season- trying to figure out what happened to gabriel to figure out the dangerous thing that is threatening them- and the fact that he is highly intelligent so when the metatron shows up in person he pays the fuck attention.

At no point during their conversation or before he enters the bookshop does aziraphale look happy about the supreme archangel position and is visibly nervous and trying to come up with a script on how to tell it to crowley and it’s only when he starts talking to crowley does he smile about it because now they can finally work together to fix heaven instead of running around, hiding from them, doing secret favors for each other- they can get rid of the final thing that is making them unsafe- but neither he nor the metatron could have predicted the entirely human way of expressing love that crowley gave him- it goes off the script he had in his head and he panic defaults to their normal but you can see they are both tired of this and confused about their usual scripts to get the other to work with them are not working - and he almost says no until he sees that crowley is still out there waiting- sees that no matter his decision crowley will still be there and although this will hurt them- they will survive it as long as they trust each other

he understands that he has started a war on the side of humans against hell and now he is bringing it to heaven

this isn’t something he can run away from it’s just too important to their safety

after all he is the angel that set it off and now it’s time to wrap things up

[maydays-medbay]

I want to be so real with you all right now, because I can’t seem to get my head on straight when I desperately need to.

I know this is a silly little fandom blog where I post about my characters and have a laugh with my mutuals, but recently I’ve been so burnt out over this that I’ve lost the want to make anything. I don’t have the mental willpower or energy to make anything.

KOSA scares me. Genuinely. I can’t tell you a time in my life where I’ve ever felt more scared and angry and upset over something so genuinely horrible.

I haven’t been able to sleep since learning of its recent resurgence and now upcoming voting in the Senate. I feel sick every time I stop doing things to distract me because of how much grief this bill brings.

If this bill passes, I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do. As a queer transgender man, this bill not only makes me afraid of what’s going to happen to everything I’ve built, but it makes me fear over my safety and all of the things I love about the internet.

This bill will ruin all of those things. Censorship on this magnitude is abhorrent and gross, and I’m tired of the government trying to control the things they don’t like under the guise of protecting children. Especially when a bill like this is going to end up fucking over countless minors and adults alike.

If a minor lives in an unsafe home, their resources for getting out of it will be stripped away because of how the bill goes about censoring media. If a queer minor is trying to find LGBTQ+ resources, this bill won’t let them because that information is going to be protected behind safeguards and other censorship methods based on “preserving mental health”. All under the guise of “protecting” them.

Protecting children is important. This? This is not the way to do it. Period.

Putting our information on the internet to verify that we’re adults- personal, identifying information- is incredibly, incredibly dangerous. Information privacy and anonymity have always been very, very important to me. This strips that all away.

I feel safe when I can be more private online. I feel safe being able to talk to people without my private information being submitted to their databases.

This makes my already rampant paranoia worse. This makes me afraid of my personal information ending up on some insecure database that’s ripe for the taking for those with malicious intent.

Fuck this bill, and fuck anyone who supports it. I’m tired of this bill making me feel unsafe, paranoid, vulnerable, and overwhelmingly scared. I just want to live my life normally.

I’m tired of constantly agonizing over the next time when children or LGBTQIA+ people are going to be political scapegoats. I hate living like this.

Stop KOSA. Please. From the bottom of my heart, I want this bill stopped.

Please. If you can, call your reps and lawmakers- tell them that you don’t want this bill to pass. Even if you’re not from the US, you can help. Below I’ve put in a link to Stop KOSA’s website where you can email/call your lawmakers and let them know how much you hate this bill. And if you can’t do that for some reason, or you already have, please spread the word and let other people know about this bill and how to stop it.

And remember, even if KOSA passes in the senate, we can halt it in its tracks when it reaches the house. So please. Don’t stop fighting, and STOP KOSA!

(Also, feel free to reblog and add any other information you can to this post to spread the word about this bill and/or provide more resources to combat it. Every email, Call, and other way to inform lawmakers of your opinion helps. There’s a reason we stopped KOSA the first two times. We can do it again.)

[kitkatopinions]

@kitestarry Thought I'd answer this comment in its own post. :)

Ghira and Kali are very much so stereotypical "Mom and Dad" characters imo, where Kali is kind of nosy and she's comforting and she's given that "no she can hit people with pans too" thing that people give Supermoms since like 2000 so they can say they're strong women without having to do any work, and Ghira is like overprotective and tells Blake she isn't wearing enough clothes and hates Sun because he's a boy who's interested in his daughter. And I don't like the stereotypical "Mom and Dad" characterization in any setting really, but since they're only featured in two seasons and are honestly not even sort of the focus of Blake's 4-5 arc (which is much more about her, Sun, and Ilia,) they're very paper thin characters I feel like. So there isn't much else to them. But on top of that, the RWBY writers do this thing where they'll make the teenage characters do dangerous stuff but do not care to write the "caring" parental figures in their life to actually do anything about it. Like, with Willow you can at least be like "well she's an alcoholic who had an abusive husband" which doesn't mean that her complete lack of presence until V7 and her lack of action in protecting her children is fine, but it makes more sense. And when then sixteen year old Ruby left home to go after Cinder and supposedly like a year later Tai still is completely not around, we could at least say "well, he knows she's with Qrow and he might not have known how serious everything was" which isn't a good excuse, but it's at least something. But, I believe Blake ran away from home five years before the start of the show, which means she was like twelve! And she ran away to be part of a group Ghira thought was dangerous and morally wrong (which is why he left in the first place.) Like, we don't know if Blake had a good place to stay for that whole time, if she ever went hungry, and the show fully tells us she was in a bad and unsafe relationship for part of it. And where were her parents? And then the Fall of Beacon happens after Blake is on TV during the Vytal Festival, and the whole thing just makes them feel like very uncaring bad parents. There's also Ghira's whole peaceful protest 'be nice to your oppressors and they might like you' 'we need to stop faunus violence' thing. Like many Faunus characters, Ghira's a mouthpiece for the severely badly handled fantasy racism plot. It's bad on Blake, but since she has a lot more character and role outside of that, it's easy enough to just clip it out for her for me. But because Ghira has been such a small role, it's a lot harder to dismiss for him. Like if you removed that sort of thing from Ghira's character, all that you'd have left is 'over-protective dad who doesn't care about finding his twelve year old runaway but will comment on her belly shirt when she comes home."

But also, I don't write for them to be honest. Writing for characters oftentimes makes me like them more because it helps me dive into the character concept more than the oftentimes lackluster execution. There are a lot of characters I didn't like that much, but then when I write for them, I find myself really enjoying them. But my sister and I first started writing for RWBY after volume six with a fanfiction that was an AU branch off starting at the end of V5. And the only fanfictions I've written either are branches off of that branch off or are Team STRQ era fics. So... Ghira and Kali aren't really part of things in my fics ever.

So yeah, it's a combination of them being thin stereotypical parents with very little interest to them, their apparent lack of care when their twelve year old ran away, and just never writing for them so they don't get the same treatment of me fleshing them out myself that other characters who are just as thin in canon might get that make me like them more.

[varpusvaras]

Report nro. 34456-446: Lost sight of the suspect in level 2089; the suspect was not apprehended; the surroundings impeded with the process of apprehending the suspect

Report nro. 35567-447: The suspect was chased down to level 2089; the patrol in charge lost sight of the suspect due to poor conditions of the surroundings, which made continuing the chase at full force dangerous for the members of the patrol; the suspect was not apprehended

Report nro. 36678-448: The last sighting of the suspect was near sector 8994 of the level 2089; the patrol in charge of the chase had to slow down their approach due to poor conditions of the area in question, to make sure there would be no excess harm for the troopers; the suspect was not apprehended

Requisition for equipment upgrade, form 6678 B-3

Requisition DENIED

See more information below

There was a headace incoming. Fox could feel it.

Stone raised a brow at him when Fox informed him about it.

"You know, if you can already feel the headache, it means you have a headache", he said.

Fox glared at him.

"When someone tells you that they can feel a headache coming, the last thing they usually need is someone being a smartass", he said, barely restraining himself from gritting his teeth. It wouldn't have done him any good either on the headache department.

Stone didn't seem at all phased by Fox's bad mood. He just shrugged, and then reached over the desk and snatched the datapad right from Fox's hands. That did make Fox grit his teeth, but he forced himself to relax. If the datapad was in Stone's hands, it meant that Fox didn't have to look at it anymore.

He drummed his fingers on his desk, as he watched Stone scroll through the reports and the requisition form.

"You asked for better safety gear for unstable ground and low lighting conditions?" Stone glanced at Fox over the datapad. "Those are weird things to deny, especially since they want us to increasingly patrol the lower levels, even outside an active investigation."

"You think I don't know that?" Fox scoffed, and then tried to make himself relax again. Nothing about this situation was Stone's fault, and Fox didn't like taking his frustrations on his brothers. Other people outside the Guard yelled at all of them enough already, they didn't need their Commander to do the same.

Stone didn't, thankfully, still seem at all phased by Fox's mood. He continued to scroll for a moment longer, his forehead creasing more and more by every second.

"The request was denied because there have been no observations of conditions on the reported area, that are deemed unsafe enough for us to need better equipment?" He glanced at Fox again. "That doesn't make any sense. You have clearly attached the trooper reports onto the form. Did they not read them?"

"Probably not." Fox pushed his frustrated thought out of his head by sighing very deeply. "Or if they did, the person in charge of processing the requests that day just deemed the risks not worth the credits."

Both of those options were just as plausible, as both of them had happened just as many times by now. Fox leaned his forehead on his hand and pressed his thumb hard against his temple. They were just past half a year in their posting, and most things about it sucked already.

Just think about the fact that you have a bed that is not full of mud, sand, or bugs, he told himself. Just think about the fact that at the very least, you don't have immersion foot syndrome. You have things good in here.

That thought helped a little bit, but it didn't change the fact that they had still been denied of the gear they needed, and now there was heavy breathing against the back of Fox's neck.

Stone must've felt it too, because he sighed as well.

"So they expect us to just throw our men at the danger and get results, no matter the cost?" He clicked his tongue. "And when we do that, a few weeks goes by, and they start complaining about too many casualties."

"Tell me about it." Fox jammed his thumb harder against his skin. There was a burst of pain under it as he found the point of tension. "We need to come up with a new tactic for situations like this. Increase the force or use of weaponry, if the suspect starts heading towards an area we know is unsafe. Update all the patrols with a map of said areas."

Stone started to drum the desk now as well in Fox's place.

"That might work", he said. "At least for now, it's the best we have."

"I'm going to implement it until we get the time to have a larger meeting about this issue." Fox forced himself to straighten up. "Give me the datapad back."

"No", Stone said, frowning at Fox. "You're not supposed to be looking at them. You're not supposed to be even thinking too hard. You can knit together a broken bone, but not a concussed brain. You're lucky I haven't already tattled about you to Index."

"Like Index would do anything."

"He would look sad, and then his two little terrors would come down here and kick the door in", Stone said. "You know they don't respect anyone in here, other than Index."

Fair point. Still, Fox extended his hand.

"I promise I won't do any more work", he said, "but I need to send a couple of messages to Casset. He agreed that there is a very high chance that all of these recent cases are related to some sort of bigger activity, as all of their movements are similar. He promised to look up some old reports from before the war and send them over."

Stone tilted his head.

"That sounds a lot like working", he said. "And why do you need Casset to do it anyway? Couldn't you have asked Mirror to find those reports for you?"

"Mirror has other things to do than to slice through old security databases and see if there is anything even remotely related to this", Fox said. "If a natborn wants to be helpful to us, I'm going to take it. It doesn't happen too often anyway."

Casset was the new head of Security for the intelligence office, though Fox had by now realised that it didn't mean a lot, despite the important-sounding title. Casset's job was basically to keep up with five hundred different channels and double the amount of systems used for processing and archiving information related to security. Most of the time Fox saw him, he was talking to at least three people at the same time through his commlink. But still, for a natborn officer, Casset was not bad. He couldn't tell Fox and his brothers apart most of the time, but that was forgivable, and he, at the very least, didn't try to actively make Fox's life worse.

Stone knew all of that as well. He looked back down at the datapad, and then back at Fox.

"True", he said. "But still. It's still working."

"Well someone has to do it", Fox shot back. "And since all of you are busy picking up my slack, because I got thrown off a moving speeder and landed on my head a little bit too hard, I can type a couple of messages."

Stone himself was still in full armor, despite the fact that he had already been on his feet for at least eleven and a half hours. Perhaps Fox should've adopted the train of thought of just doing as Index had told him to do, so he could get back to work faster and prevent Stone and the others from growing massive bags under their eyes as well, but the truth was that he didn't have the luxury to do that, and that was also something Stone knew.

Stone looked at the datapad again, and then with a very displeased look on his face, he handed it back to Fox.

"I will tell Thorn about this", he said. "And if you're still here doing anything else than messaging Casset when he comes back from his patrol, I hope he throws you into a cell for as long as it takes you to fully recover."

"Whatever." Fox had just opened his messages, when Stone's commlink started to rapidly beep for an incoming call.

"Speak of the man", Stone said, and opened the call. "What is it?"

"We found the suspect on the latest case." Fox sat up a little straighter. What Thorn had just said didn't yet tell him a lot, since they had multiple cases open currently, but he sounded serious enough for Fox to immediately recognise that this was about something important.

"What case?" Stone asked.

"The suspected theft of the hyperdrive parts from the shipments to the GAR mechanics", Thorn explained. "The Nautolan guy who worked as an engineer there. Edix. He managed to slip from the patrol somewhere around level 2100 a couple of days ago."

Stone looked at the datapad in Fox's hands. They had both just read report 448, so at least the whole thing was fresh in their minds.

"Yes, I know him", Stone said. "Are you bringing him in here yourself, or do you need someone else to process him?"

"About that", Thorn sounded like he was grimacing when he spoke, "he is being sent to the medical center at the moment. He was...I don't know how to explain it, but he looked like he had been through a lot during the past couple of days. He was barely coherent, and even that is saying it too nicely. We need to make sure that he doesn't die before we can get anything out of him."

"Was he injured?" Stone asked. The answer should've been straight-forward, but instead, Thorn was quiet for a moment.

"Didn't look like it", he said, finally. Fox scowled at the commlink.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "You just said that he was being transported to medical because you're worried he will die without attention."

Thorn didn't seem at all surprised by the fact that Fox was also there, as he didn't comment on it at all.

"He didn't have any visible injuries, at least not anything bigger than a couple of scratches", he answered. "I'm not a medic or an expert in Nautolan physiology, so I can't say for sure what's going on, but he was just...laying here. Gripping onto the ground like he had just managed to crawl to where he was. Didn't even try to resist the arrest, he just stared at us and sometimes muttered something, but our translation software couldn't pick up clear words from it."

Fox gave Stone a look. This wasn't the usual way of operation. If there were no visible injuries, the suspects were to be transported into the medical section of the prison, where they would be monitored, until they were cleared to be well enough to be admitted for regular processing. Fox knew this. Stone knew this. They both knew that Thorn knew this as well.

Fox also knew that Thorn didn't do decisions that went against regulations without a good reason.

"Why did you call up medical personnel right away?" Fox still had to ask. There was something weird in the way Thorn was speaking. Fox wouldn't have said that he was being too serious, no. He just sounded like he was on edge, in a way that Fox recognised many of his brothers and other officers to be when they had seen something rather gruesome, but were able to compartmentalise it away after years of seeing things just as bad or even worse. The problem was just the fact that what Thorn was describing didn't sound like it was anything too grotesque.

It wasn't like Thorn. Perhaps he was just leaving things out while they were on the call. It could've explained it, at least for now.

Thorn sighed heavily.

"I deemed it necessary", he said, now sounding a bit frustrated. "Look, the medical officers that came to take him away agreed with me, and I'm going to trust their word on this. We want our suspect to be able to withstand interrogation. We've already gotten too much drag for all of this, and I don't want any more of it."

That was true. At least now they would have something to show for themselves.

Fox bit back his own sigh.

"Alright", he said. "We'll talk about this after the official report has been made."

Thorn breathed in deeply a couple of times. They were all working too much, Fox reminded himself, especially now that Fox wasn't doing full hours.

"Yes, Sir", Thorn said. "I'll be back to base in three hours, if nothing else comes up. I hope you're not in your office anymore by then, because I don't have the energy to be gentle with you tonight."

"I can accept that", Fox said. "Call me if something else comes up."

"No, I will be calling Stone, because he is the one on duty right now", Thorn said. "Over."

He ended the call before Fox could say anything else. Stone had the audacity to smirk.

"You heard him", he said, and stood up. "Message Casset, and then go to sleep. I mean it."

Fox sent him a much more vicious glare than the previous ones, but Stone still didn't seem to care. He just took Fox's empty cup of caf from the desk, and marched out of the office without a second look.

Fox leaned back on his chair with a groan. His head definitely hurt now. Maybe it had been hurting to whole time. Who knew. Not Fox, that was for sure.

Going to sleep did sound rather nice, Fox wasn't going to lie. He could've given himself a moment, but he knew that if he did so, he wouldn't be able to make himself do anything else, and he really did need to message Casset. It was the least he could do.

He straightened himself, lifted the datapad, and typed a message. Then he leaned back again and closed his eyes.

He wasn't sure how long had passed, but he startled awake when there was a chime coming from the datapad. Fox straightened himself a bit too fast, making both his neck and head thrum. The light coming from the screen seemed definitely brighter now than it had the last time, and Fox had to squint at the device until he could lower the brightness enough to be able to see clearly.

Casset had gotten the reports. He was sorry for them being not sorted in any way, as he had had to pull them from different filing systems. Fox understood very quickly why he was apologising when he saw the size of the datapack attached to the message.

Fox put his head in his hands and just breathed for a moment.

Then he pressed download.

[ferallove-for-tx2]

𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐒𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀 𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐲

Y’all have fast passes in this

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚

He wasn’t so sure about the idea of being hundreds of feet up in the air moving fast, it sounded unsafe to him

He didn’t know if it was a good idea or not but you were ecstatic about it so he just gave in and took you to Disney World and walked around until you found the one you wanted to ride first

You dragged him to Splash Mountain and began waiting in line until it was your turn 

He was uneasy since it was a water ride and he was a bit nervous that you both would tip over and land in the water

When it began moving, he held onto your hand, hoping he wasn’t holding it tight enough for you to notice

At the big drop, just the sight made him regret his decision and once you fell down the drop, he screamed

He held onto your arm and continued to scream the rest of the drop while you laughed

After you got off, he looked at you with an emotionless expression and said, “I’m wet, I’m cold and I’m traumatized.”

He will refuse to get on another rollercoaster no matter how much you bribe him, he will just wait for you with all your plushies and headbands in his arms

𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨

He liked the idea of spending time with you and having fun at Disney World, he would be completely fine with doing whatever makes you happy even if it was riding a roller coaster

He thought roller coasters were fun and all but he was a bit nervous that something would go wrong and possibly put you in danger

The ride you wanted to go on was the Slinky roller coaster so he bought you both matching Slinky headbands before waiting in line

He was excited to go on the ride and even though he was nervous, he would just kept telling himself that everything was going to be fine

He would hold your hand on the ride to calm his nerves but once he saw you having fun on the ride, he eventually found himself also having fun

All the negative feelings he had about roller coasters vanished and he found himself wanting to go on more rides as long as it was with you

𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮

He thought the idea of going to Disney World was a great romantic idea Ana’s had no hesitation to drag you out the door

When you arrived, he expected to go around and buy a bunch of nonsense but when you told him you wanted to go ride a roller coaster, specifically Space Mountain, all the color drained from his face

He would cause a scene by crying loudly and clinging onto your leg, begging you to tell him that you were joking

You would have to hold him in line or else he was going to run away and the whole time, he would just be crying and begging you to change your mind

Once it was your turn and the roller coaster began, he was already screaming even though it wasn’t going fast yet

Your ears will be DESTROYED once there is no lighting and the speed picks up, he would be screaming and clinging onto you the whole time

“WHY IS IT SO DARK?! OH WE’RE GONNA DIE! Y/N, BEFORE WE DIE, JUST KNOW I LOVE YOUUUUU!”

The second the ride is over, he is jumping out of the cart, picking you up and running the hell out of there

𝐈𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞

He didn’t know what a roller coaster so you would have to teach him all about it and once he finally understood, he grinned and insisted on going to one

Ever since you introduced roller coasters to him, he wanted to do nothing but go on them because he thought that being high in the air and moving at ridiculously high speeds sounded exhilarating and fun

He wanted to go on the one that sounded the most intimidating which was Thunder Mountain

He would be the one to drag you to the roller coaster and while you were waiting in line, he went on and on about how fun this would be

The second it was your turn, he would immediately hop onto the seat and excitedly wait for it to start moving while saying things like, “This is going to be fun!” “I bet I’m the bravest out of everyone here!”

While the roller coaster moved, Inosuke would be laughing like crazy and yelling to go even faster

He would want to go on it over and over but if you didn’t want to, he would drag you to other roller coasters

[thecrescentmind]

I have decided to use this blog for general SaSi content along with ocs because reasons, will tag accordingly (TCM au posts will use the tags they’ve been using) so uh sanders sides swap au that’s been rotating in my brain for a while

No one swaps what they represent but they swap roles in the story more or less

Patton swaps with Janus, Roman swaps with Remus, and Logan swaps with an orange side I made up. Virgil is now the protagonist instead of c!Thomas but Thomas doesn’t really take Virgil’s role, I will explain how that works. (Under the cut cause this got very long)

This takes place in a universe where c!Thomas’ life went differently in a variety of ways that led his perception of what parts of him are good and what parts are bad to change very rapidly. I’m not sure how everything ended up the way it did exactly and in case I do end up doing things with this au I’m not going to reveal what I do have decided just yet. (I will say Thomas was unable to pursue his passions here and has a corporate job he hates which is kind of relevant) But whatever happened differently led to the worse parts of the canon light sides being emphasized and the better parts of the canon dark sides being emphasized. Eventually leading them to trade places in terms of how Thomas viewed them.

Sel (Janus. short for self perseverance or selfishness), Ideas (Remus), and Defense (Orange, he’s anger in this au btw) are aware of this, they know they weren’t meant to be in the positions they are, at least not like this. All of them are secretly terrified of losing the positions they’re in. Feelings (Patton), Pride (Roman), and Logic (you know who this is) are also aware of this, and it infuriates them. They were supposed to help Thomas, they want to help Thomas. They just want what’s best for him but for some reason he can’t see that. If they have to push things farther to get things how they should be then so be it.

Caution (Virgil) is a new side, the first they’ve had since Thomas was a kid/teen, he just got here and knows nothing about how things got the way they did. He decides to record his journey to find his place as a part of Thomas, and these vlogs are (for the most part) the pov we would see from.

This au has a bigger emphasis on the mindscape, it’s bigger and more complicated cause I thought it would be cool idk. Specifically it’s part of how Janus keeps the sides he wants repressed hidden. There are parts of the mindscape said to be unsafe that no one’s supposed to go into, Thomas doesn’t know why and when Caution shows up, neither does he. Thomas decides to sneak in one day (he’s more reckless here plus the idea of the supposedly dangerous and scary part of the mindscape always intrigued him) with Caution tagging behind him because if he can’t stop Thomas from acting like a dumb horror movie protagonist he might as well go with him to keep him safe.

What they find is actually a lot calmer than what they expected, maybe even less chaotic than what the rest of the mindscape can be at times. It’s nice but it almost seems fake, too perfect to be real. They look around until they. hear. something. Virgil gets them out of there before either of them can see if the ominous voice in the allegedly unsafe part of the mind is actually dangerous and upon returning get lectured by Janus. Virgil asks wtf that voice might’ve been, Janus says (lying) that he isn’t sure, maybe a monster, an illusion, nothing good that’s for sure. They walk away but Virgil stays by the entrance just a second longer than Thomas and Janus, for a second he sees something try to exit before being forced back inside.

It didn’t look like a monster or an illusion or whatever Janus said was in there though, it looked like another side. Of course the embodiment of anxiety overthinks this so eventually he decides to sneak back in there alone.

And then nothing bad happened to any of them ever (lie)

[that-gay-jedi]

Listen it's been a while since I went on a rant about letting your unwanted thoughts and emotions serve their evolutionary purpose but LISTEN.

So I've always catastrophized, right? And as soon as lil teenage me accepted that my catastrophizing might be a habit worth breaking, for years and years there were so many pressures on me to either redirect the thoughts of a worst-case scenario into thoughts about less awful scenarios, or to force myself to think about something else entirely, but that never worked for me.

KNOW WHAT WORKS???? I let my brain give me a run-through of the worst-case scenario(s) once each, ONLY once each, and then I write out a detailed plan for exactly which actions (other than suicide) I can realistically take to mitigate them, and HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART, I let it run with every realistic reason those options might not be available to me at the relevant time and what I will do instead, letting my contingency plan grow its support network of other smaller contingency plans until I run out of fears to catastrophize and have a nice little roadmap of all the ways I can depend on myself to make the best of The Horrors.

And I DO run out of fears to catastrophize. I DO reach a point where I trust myself and feel prepared.

Plenty of former therapists and books tried to teach me that the anxious brain respects no limits and holds to no purpose, that it will conjure an endless supply of things to fear when the realistic dangers run out. That if I let it run, it will never stop, and if I get on that ride with it I will dragged along behind it indefinitely.

I believe we do both a disrespect to the history of human beings as a whole, which is suffused with foreseeable traumas whose warning signs so often could not be seen with the naked eye or understood with pure rationale, and a disservice to anxious people when we forget that these are some of the tendencies that have kept humans alive generation after generation. Anxiety exists to check for dangers we might not otherwise see, because sometimes those dangers are real.

We know from academic analysis of recent and current events that among the most likely survivors of natural disasters and large-scale accidents are those who have survived a similar threat before, people whose experience lends them a degree of knowing what to do and what to expect. Imagination exists to safely enter unsafe places such as these. To perform a mental walk-through of your own fears coming true isn't a failure of discipline, it's more like conducting a fire drill.

You wouldn't conduct so many fire drills you can't do anything else with your day, but you certainly wouldn't call them a waste of time. You wouldn't want to get so obsessed with fire prevention that you're afraid to cook, but you'd want to be conscious enough of the dangers avoid them when you do cook, and familiar enough with what happens when precautions fail that you don't toss cold water onto a grease fire.

I couldn't break the unhealthy habit of catastrophizing by ceasing to catastrophize entirely, I broke it by setting a realistic limit on how often and for how long I catastrophize. By acknowledging that this much-derided habit actually serves a worthwhile purpose, I could find that there WAS a realistic limit to be set.

You know that thing about how horses are more well-behaved if they get enough exercise, how human-kept animals in general act out less and stay healthier for longer when they get enough enrichment?

Let the horse run. Let the cat hunt, let the fish swim. Let the anxious mind run, let it tire itself out doing what it was born to do, let it explore the futures you wouldn't want to materialize- let it protect you. And when you've put it through its paces, you might find it now allows you to stable it. It might not piss in your shoe or fly around your head at night or eat your guests anymore. It may curl up by the hearth like a satisfied cat.

[autisticlee]

any other autistic/adhd/dissociative/disabled-in-general person forced to do thjngs that you know you shouldn't do because huge safety issue or can't do it correctly or causes severe pain and do it so poorly it affects your health or safety or life in very negative ways? but you have no choice but to out yourself in danger?

for example, I always see posts like "other people complain they were forced to do a thing but they can still do it so that means they cant complain since i literally cant do it at all" basically. no sympathy for people forced to do dangerous and unsafe and painful and scary things! sounds very dismissive! I see driving as one example a lot. others say they simply cannot because *list of reasons*. but what if you were forced even though you have still those reasons?

another common one is making food for yourself. "I'll be very malnutritioned if i'm forced to" what if you are forced to make your own food and live off bare minimun so ARE malnutritioned and just have to accept health issues that come with it? sometimes see people can't go places alone because it's dangerous. what if you had to anyway and just have to deal with people harassing you and trying to kidnap you and can't ask or scream for help and no one takes you seriously when you tell the stories if you're lucky to get away? or can't do a thing because it's painful. imagine accepting the pain without treatment and giving up on living a good life. or cant get a job but forced to work a job with family who makes you stay even when job tears your body apart and makes you very depressed because you hate it but have bills and parents wont pay for everything and dismiss your struggles and force you to be "adult" alone.

anyone else forced to do these things they know they can't and just have to suffer consequences of it alone? I never see posts like this. saw a couple posts by people who don't do these things and dismiss people struggling and being forced to do them because they decided it means we "can" so arent allowed to complain because it "dismisses/talks over people like them who cant" but that's doing the same thing! right???? dismissing other people by claiming they talk over and dismiss you is still dismissive. there can be multiple voices at once! is not a competition!

often see posts talking about "I can't be forced because I cant do it" but people recognize that and help them in life. i'm glad they have help! don't see as many posts about how hard it is to be forced when you know you can't and should not but still have to. because!!!!! just because you are forced to do a thing doesn't mean you ~actually can do it~ or should be. you can be forced into danger every time and have very bad things happen. no choice but to accept the bad things and deal with them. and that can be super scary and frustrating and stressful!!!!! not fair if we can't talk about that!!!!

for food, of my mom doesn't make something j can eat, I have to make my own. cannot cook. can't follow directions. cooking is sensory overwhelming. can't stand in place for long. for some reason makes me really dizzy and pain and stuff. so go sit down and get distracted and ruin food every time. lose appetite after cooking and can't eat it. so now only eat cereal and protein bars and microwave meals. very not healthy. probably ads to health issues. am malnutritioned. can't get everything needed. but have no choice because mom won't cook extra meals.

going places alone? tried for last 15 years to make friends to go places with. family hardly ever does things with me. can't make friends. have to go places alone. can't advocate for self. have speech loss every time I leave the house (most days can't say words in general. talking very hard. have very bad intermittent/selective mutism/speech issues. most days can't say words at all. sometimes can recite scripts but usually can't even do that) so can't ask for help. physically can't yell, just unable. talk very quiet when saying any words so no one hears/understands or people misunderstand and either not get whst wanted/needed it people get angry.

somehow bad people attracted to me and always single me out. homeless people always sprint over to me from idk where. ignore everyone else. always jumpscared by them because look at ground or phone when walking. they follow and [[[tw ahead]]] make gross sexual comments and describe things they will do to me. some threaten to kill me and describe in detail how. had one follow for an hour and not leave. had creepy white van parked against my car with back door and saw no one inside and I still got in my car quickly. van suddenly turned on and drove away so someone WAS in it. and didn't realize until I got home how dangerous thst was. had many people follow me at night. had one person grab me and not let go and try to drag me away. dissociated so bad have no memory of how I even got away....autistic brain so sensory overloaded it blocks everything out. dissociates. cannot be aware of my surroundings to spot danger. just incapable! but no one takes me seriously when try to talk about it!!!!

driving? yes I drive. should I be allowed? absolutely not. I know I should not. but don't have a choice, so do dangerous things, hoping people around me can avoid when I do wrong things and pay more attention.

was forced to learn. took 4 years to get license and barely passed the last time. was 1 point away from failure. but live in rural-ish area where everything is far away. is 35-45 minutes to doctors for example. parents womt drive me. they work. don't have friends or other help. was forced to try college (or face being kicked out of home if I didn't try. was 35 minute drive so had to drive self. failed out after a year) and etc. did not want to. fought and argued and cried and melted down begging to not but was punished and threatened. didnt want kicked out in streets alone. is always my dads threat when I don't do what he wants.

so tried my best. drive slow and cautiously as possible. takes at lest 10 minutes longer to get anywhere. brain often dissociate while driving and don't even know how I got there. don't remember the drive. when not dissociating i notice many wrongs. very adhd brain always distracts me. drive off side of road often looking at things. go through red lights all the time and forget to stop at stop signs. accidentally change lanes without noticing I even chnaged. accidentally run people off road/out of their lane all the time.....and etc.

autistic brain always very overwhelmed. too many rules to remember. never remember them and di it wrong. always breaking rules accidentally. too much sensory stuff. too much happening. very! slow! reaction! time! almost hit others many times. have hit things. hit a car once but for some reason they kept going and didn't stop????? guess they didnt care??? idk. confusion!!! but somehow nothing severe yet...have to rely on others to out maneuver my bad driving. brain gets mixed signals a lot. will see break lights ahead way down street and think oh stop. so stop on middle of road for no reason when no one stopped directly in front and light is green or opposite will see light green and ignore break lights in front and almost slam into car. have almost run over many people because don't notice them and they run away in time then scream and are mad. always get lost even with GPS. struggle to understand GPS. go wrong way. drive up one ways wrong way. drive where there's no road, over curbs, through grass, confusing myself and everyone around. cant see at night barely especially when raining so is always extra scary and more broken rules...and many other reasons driving is bad and unsafe for me.

so am forced. have no choice. but KNOW I shouldn't. am danger to myself and everyone around me. I KNOW that but no one believes or cares because no one wants to drive me anywhere and says im lazy. doesn't understand my struggle and how dangerous. when people make me drive them they yell and freak out entire time making it harder!!!! try to avoid driving as much as possible. only haven't gotten in major accidents so far because i live in more rural area and not city so less people/cars. try super hard to concentrate and go slower than supposed to and let other people avoid my bad driving usually. concentrating makes me fall asleep so another bad thing. always fall asleep while driving. because too stressed so brain tries shutting down. if not falling asleep then dissociating.

know I shoukd not be on road because it's dangerous for me and others. but have no choice. so will keep being danger until something very bad happens and have "valid excuse" to not drive......no one listens to my concerns so need to drive to not miss appointments and stuff anyway. sighs.

where is sympathy for people like me? why is it always "can drive vs can't drive" why there never anyway who can't drive but still has to??? just because you do a thing you were forced to doesn't mean you should!!!!!!!!!! and doesn't mean you *can* if you always do it wrong and it's super dangerous!!!! "can" meaning allowed is different from "can" meaning able. you can be allowed to do a thing you're unable to do, so that means you do the thing, but very poorly and unsafe and wrong.

do you know how scary and frustrating it is?! how stressful?! I feel so sick every time I have to drive. catch so many mistakes and probably not catch all. people mad and beep horn constantly. makes me drive worse every time!!!! ban horns! hurts my ears!!!! go around! disabled driver trying their best. stop making it worse and harder! 😭😭😭😭 just pretend it's a video game

I know someone might read and think i'm saying "I can do it so you can" NO OPPOSITE I know you can't do it. but doesn't mean I "can" and should! I also should not. but don't like when people say "I literally can't so stop complaining you're forced/have no choice so have to do it anyway. I don't have choice either and dont. that means you can do it so stop complaining" and stuff like that. glad you weren't forced and threatened to be kicked out of home if you dont pass and can get others to drove you when you need. sometimes desperate times means you do dangerous things you can't. imagine of you actually have to do it anyway and just have to accept you will break rules and hurt yourself and others. it's scary!!!!! and not fair!! dont want you to suffer that. but not fair I can't complain about it! not fair I cant say "I can't do this bit am forced anyway" when clearly I should not be allowed a license!!!! or operate vehicles!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 sometimes intrusive thoughts tell me crash car on purpose so lisence is taken and don't have to drive anymore. but then will be isolated in house and never go to appointments ever again and family will punish me and cant escape them because can't leave. don't want that on anyone and sorry to everyone who experiences that! trying my best to avoid that though...

this isn't to everyone who is disabled/autistic and can't drive or do other stuff. just dont think people will understand and will think i'm attacking when i'm not. Just talking about personal experience and hoping others relate and hoping to not be dismissed again. higher needs people cannot. I know! Just trying to see if anyone else understands!!!! i'm probably medium needs? need help but pass enough to never get any and always have to put self in danger and sruff. but some lower needs make posts they cannot drive and didnt even try fkr example. just afraid because they know they can't. (again not saying they can and should try. good for them keeping that boundary!) but they have choice not to because have people to drive them or have public transport i dont have. understandable. is scary. glad you don't have to and stay safe.

but sometimes feels like they dismiss my struggles and say they think just because I do it means I *can* and they would never. but that "can" is being forced to break laws and rules and causing accidents and being very dangerous to everyone and myself!!!! but having no choice but to do the bad dangerous things anyway because the alternative can be worse. that's the problem. 😭😭😭😭 where are posts about this? anyone understand and have same experiences? or sympathy for people like me that doesnt feel dismissive? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I can't do it. I know bad thing will happen. so i dont" VS "I can't do it. I know bad thing will happen. but i'm forced to make bad thing happen anyway" are 2 ideas that can both exist!