#PUNT BATMAN

[hleamii]

Every time I'm on the CityLink, I think about Jason drop kicking Bruce.

[ghostbsuter]

The house of Nightingale & Constantine ( P. 1 )

> next part

.・゜-: ✧ :-

You know, when Batman reassured him (was it tho? His way of using words is a bit... confusing.) of bringing in a third person for their common problem, Phantom, Danny, didn't press nor worry.

He regrets it now, just a little bit.

—

Dick liked Danny.

The small guy has been an absolute delight!

(He isn't grinning when he and Damian duke it out, doesnt watch fondly when Danny and Jason exchange the most weirdest ways of insulting someone or when He and Steph gossip, Cass sitting behind him with her hands in his hair.)

(He can see from the corner of his eye the way Tim hides a grin behind his hand, texting Danny someone rapidly and their Guest laughing at random times, the way even Duke, despite wearing the sunglasses, seems to warm up pretty quickly to their new brother friend.)

(It's doesn't help that he has black hair and blue eyes either.)

Danny has been living with them for some time now, temporarily as it may be, and grew on them all pretty quickly.

Bruce told them when Constantine arrived at the cave, seemingly irritated for unknown reasons, and they all were ushered to the elevator.

There is no noise as they arrive, Danny few feet off the ground and engaged on a hot topic with Steph as they go down the stairs.

The moment Constantine is in sight however, has their resident ghost snapping out of the conversation and zooming in on the man from afar.

It's kind of funny? The way his black hair fluffs up like in a Ghibli Movie, the way his eyes narrow to slits, glowing a faint green.

Many shout in alarm at the sight of agitation (?), Dick sees Constantines own eyes glow a eery gold??

It's like two cats staring down one another, a showdown.

(Someone should record this.)

The two meet down in the middle of the cave, Danny is bristling and John scowling.

"Really Bats? A Nightingale?" The blond man scoffs, pushing his hands into the pockets of his coat, hands roaming for cigarettes probably.

"Excuse me? I thought the line of Constantine died out back then, with the way you handle your stuff." The teen hisses back, a hand running through his poofed up hair.

"Hah!" The Hellblazer gives a mocking laugh, cigar already in hand and lit. "'With the way we handle our stuff'? Weren't the Nightingales out of commission not so long ago?"

The glow might have died out, but the tension only rose higher.

Danny turns to Batman, glowering.

"Asking for the help of the house of Constantine? Are you crazy? Those nutjobs have no self-preservation!"

John's eye twitches at the remark.

"No self-preservation, my ass. Nightingales do nothing but mess with stuff they shouldn't, talk about self-preservation when you have it yourself, pipsqueak."

And Danny? Danny growls.

"All you do is trick every being to do your bidding! One day all of this will catch up to your house and me? I will watch as it burns."

The blonds cigarette snaps in his grip.

"Burn? Me? Doesn't the house if Nightingales hunt the beings we 'trick'? It seems to me that your lineage is already going down as we speak."

The argument (?) continues and the batclan does nothing but watch as if its a particularly interesting tennis match.

(John looks like he's about 5 seconds away from strangling Danny and the teen about to bite off John's head.)

"What's going on?" Finally, Batman steps in.

"What's going on? What's going on?? You said you'd bring in a third person! Not a constantine!"

The bat shows no signs of anything really, when both teen and man whip around to face him.

"I thought you'd know better than to involve yourself with the house of Nightingales."

"I was here first! No take backs!"

"And yet I know bats longer, don't I, pipsqueak?"

"Foolish trickster!"

"Imprudent necromancer!"

(Apparently, beef between two houses of dark exists and they had the chance to experience it first hand.)

(This is one of the many occurrences.)

[deadsetobsessions]

DC X DP WRITING PROMPT:

Danny can hear the screams of the dead, the echoes of ghosts- shades of the dead- unpowered by ectoplasm. It’s his right as the High King of the Infinite Realms.

And during his weekly floats through his home planet to de-stress (no one ever attacks during these floats because a cranky and stressed Danny is a bad time for everyone involved), he comes across the Joker, torturing Tim Drake into becoming Joker Junior. More like he was lead there by the vortex of shades screaming at Joker to let the kid go and versions other threats or incoherent screams of pain and hatred.

He punts the clown into the sun (or in a ditch because Gotham is not known for her love of the thing called “sunlight”) and gathers up a sobbing Tim (JJ) who’s cackling through his tears like the laugh is being torn out of him, and flies away. Danny figures out his own personal ectoplasm shots help the insanity because Tim’s died before (and got brought back) via electro therapy shocks. Danny sees so much of himself in Tim and the potential for both immense good and immense evil and realizing they’re both choosing to seclude themselves to not harm others (Tim locks himself in his room to stop throwing things at Danny when he slips into insanity- which, it doesn’t actually affect Danny because he can turn intangible). Danny realizes that it’s not healthy and it doesn’t make anyone happy, so he works with himself and Tim to heal. Basically, Tim and Danny finds family in each other and heals while Batman, Nightwing, and Alfred loses their shit searching for Tim (“YOU LET JOKER KILL ANOTHER ONE OF MY BROTHERS, B!) (I WON’T LET YOU SHOULDER THE WEIGHT OF KILLING SOMEONE.) (I WOULD SHOULDER ANYTHING IF IT MEANT KEEPING TIM SAFE FROM THE JOKER!!!) (I can’t lose another son, Alfred) (I know, master Bruce. I know.)

Anyways, they find themselves back and Jason’s like hey I’m gonna kill the next Robin- oh wait Joker’s dead huh how’d that happen and then he’s like wtf do you mean “joker junior” wtf wtf wtf

Aunt Harley gets some of her own therapy and tracks Danny down to apologize to Tim, but stays away just in case she triggers an attack. She’s a villain, she’s done some horrible things and felt no guilt for it, but Tim was a line she thought she’d never cross and it kills her

[would-you-punt-them]

Man (Arkham Alsume)

[laughterbynight]

I would like to add that I could totally see Bruce just making sure he completely curb stomps one of these dudes as the Bat where he knows it’ll get seen and spread around social media like wildfire.

He’s besties/sometimes a love interest with Diana. There’s NO WAY he would tolerate incels and mra’s using his image for their propaganda.

He also has complete faith in his daughter and very publicly acknowledges her skills and superiority to him when it comes to hand to hand combat. One of those dudes *could never*.

In a context where Batman is known and seen through his public League appearances, the misogynistic, homophobic, "alpha male" guys start using his image to illustrate their discourse of going to the gym, and seeking submissive women. They admire and misinterpret his traits as endorsements of their toxic masculinity. Online, they share images of Batman with stuff like "Be the Alpha, Be the Batman". They even use the word Batmen as a synonym to Alpha Male. "Real Batmen don't show weakness".

When Bruce becomes aware of this, he hates it. He despises them for all their messed up views, knowing they completely misunderstand his principles. Batman's true strength lies in his commitment to justice, empathy, and respect for all individuals, values that are fundamentally opposed to the toxic masculinity they promote. Bruce is determined to distance his image from their rhetoric, seeing them as nothing more than sexist and homophobic idiots.

So he decides to be a tiny tiny bit more Brucie when they appear in public. Not in form, but in substance :

When he's asked a question, he tries to go "I have no clue, I'd have to ask Black Canary.", or "I'm not sure, I'd have to see what Wonder Woman thinks about that", or "This time, we really couldn't have done anything, anything at all, without Supergirl."

Also, Batman becomes more visibly affectionate with Superman. During public appearances, if he senses a camera on them, he makes sure to be seen clinging to Superman. He would rather face dating rumors every day than be associated with those idiotic discourses.

(It's also a good premise for a superbat fake-dating fic !!)

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.

[rin-may-1103]

The Wrong Robin Au (Part Six)

Previous | Master Post | Next AN: Because I wanted Danny and Jason to be the same age, I've moved the DP timeline forward six years. (If we go with their canon ages and timeline, Danny's the same age as Dick.) I'll make it make sense, but until then please ignore the possible confusion it might cause😅.

Turning, Danny held the picture frame up to show Bruce who he was talking about. Bruce glanced up and studied it for a moment before he looked at Danny. His eyes were calculating just like they had been for the past ten minutes, which might Danny add, was really annoying.

"That's my eldest son, Dick." Bruce finally answered, continuing to watch for Danny's reaction.

Danny blinked, looked down at the picture then turned to put it back. why in the world was his name Dick? like, was that actually his name or was it a nickname? it's not like Danny was judging the kid for it, but seriously, who names their kid dick?

sure, Danny used to fight ghosts named Skulker and Technis all the time, but they chose their names. Did the kid willingly choose to go by dick or were his parents unaware of what the word meant? Danny's really hoping the parents weren't aware of what it meant, because if they were? oh boy was that a bag of worms Danny wanted nothing to do with.

How old was the kid anyway? That looked like an older picture, so he probably wasn't that young anymore.

"How old is he?" Danny asks, turning to study another picture. this one was of Jason hanging out with Alfred in what looked like a kitchen. The kid was covered in flour while Alfred didn't have a single speck of dust on him. They both looked happy.

Bruce was silent for a moment, so Danny turned to look at him. Confusion and shock swirled around him, making Danny frown.

"you don't know how old he is do you?" Danny asked, glaring at Bruce. As much as Danny promised to help him, the man was making it extremely hard to do so, when every time he learns something it makes him want to punt the man into the sun.

alright, so forgetting when someone's birthday is sucks but doesn't make sense for someone like Batman, so it wasn't that exactly it's probably more along the lines of grief messing with his perception of time. yeah, that makes more sense. because if it's not, Danny's not afraid to punch the man again.

"Alright, what's his birthday?" Danny asks, making his way to sit back in the chair he had used previously.

"march 20th," Bruce grumbled, turning to glare out the window like the emo bat he was. And see? He didn't forget the date, which means, Danny was right.

"year?" Danny pushed, slumping down in his chair. It felt like he was pulling teeth with how trying to get information from the man was going. Ancients, Danny was going to go gray before they got anywhere.

"1990," Bruce replied, still glaring out the window like he was in some emo music video.

"Alright, it's 2013, so doing some basic maths, Dick is" Danny pretended to do a drumroll as he quickly calculated the dude's age. and he was a dude because he's definitely older than Danny.

"23," Danny finally announced, looking up to watch as Bruce's emotions spiraled in the air. Anger, hurt, annoyance, guilt. Yep, a full-blown meltdown is on the horizon, everyone. let's back it up, Danny's seen enough grown men cry, he doesn't need to do it again.

"Alright!" clapping his hands, Danny stood up and made his way to the door. opening it, Danny glanced out the hall and spotted Alfred finally making his way back toward them. looks like that blood analysis Bruce definitely ordered Alfred to do finally finished. good.

"Alright, mister anger issues. you need to go to bed." turning back to the room, Danny pointed at Bruce. the man stared at him, his emotions freezing in their downward spiral as he processed the words.

"I agreed," Alfred cut in before Bruce could argue against it, making Danny grin. Oh, he was so going to get along with Alfred, he just knew it.

walking over to the desk, Danny snatched one of the sticky notes and a pen. Writing his number on the paper, he handed it to Alfred, "Here you go. you get to keep it because I have a feeling you'll actually use it properly. it's my number, call me tomorrow after he gets some rest. I'll come back and we can discuss how to go about the Batman business from now on"

"you can't just-" Bruce started, cutting himself off when Alfred took the paper and promptly started guiding him out of his own office. "honestly, Master Bruce. You need your sleep, you've gotten so bad lately, that you willingly fought a child."

"I'll show myself out!" Danny called after them, watching as they turned a corner. glancing at the clock, he noticed a green sticky note. blinking, Danny made his way over. nothing was written on it. which means this was just a hint to start looking around here.

intrigued, Danny started studying the grandfather clock, wondering what clockwork could possibly want him to find. The wood overlay looked fine, and the upper door looked freshly polished. The Moon Dial and clock face looked normal, though the hour and minute hands looked slightly worn down. the glass side access panel looked like it hadn't been touched in years.

hmm, strange. the toe molding had slight scuff marks on the corner like it repeatedly hit against something. glancing around, Danny spotted matching marks on the bookshelf next to the clock. crouching down, Danny studied the marks. it was like Bruce had repeatedly moved the clock around like a door...

standing up, Danny studied the clock handles again. worn down like they had been repeatedly rearranged, but the side access panel looked practically brand new which meant the internal workings of the clock worked perfectly fine. so then why would someone have to reset the time if it wasn't broken?

unless...

carefully opening the glass upper door, Danny studied the clock face closely. the oil from human fingers usually damaged the pearl facing used in most clocks, so all Danny had to do was...

there! right below the X that meant ten, and again slightly behind the XI for eleven. which means...

moving the hour hand to right before eleven, and the minute hand to right before ten (so around minute 48.) Danny heard a click. stepping back, Danny watched as the grandfather clock swung open and revealed a passageway. glancing back to the door Alfred and Bruce had left through, Danny smiled.

"Thanks, clocky," he whispered, heading inside and closing the clock-made door behind him. If Tim was right, and he definitely was, the bat cave was below the manor, and with his enhanced eyesight, Danny could see an elevator at the end of the dark hallway, which meant this was one of the secret entrances. (he's pretty sure Batman's smart enough to have more than one entrance. it'd be pretty stupid not to.)

he had plenty of time to snoop around the Batcave now, which meant he had plenty of time to figure out how it worked and how to use that to his advantage. Bruce can't ignore him and his advice if all the bat suits go missing now, can he?

Next

[rad-batson]

12yo Damian who has mysteriously been transported into the future: “How dare you disrespect me?! I am grandson of the Demon’s Head and the blood son of-“

18yo Damian, seconds from punting his middle school self into the sun: “You’re the blood son of Batman! We know! Now WILL YOU SHUT THE FU—“

[angstandhappiness]

Adorable

Some of my fave batships! Send me a ship and I'll do one of these + rate them

[deadsetobsessions]

Hi, good day ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

I want to say that I love your prompts and your writing a lot (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

I have an ask for the triplet!Tim au, would the triplets regain their civilian identity as triplets or would they still maintain the one identity as Timothy Drake? Also if, really if, the triplets have a favorite rogue to hang out with or beat up, who would they be?

HDGASJKHDFGSAKJGD thank you????

The triplets would regain their separate identities, but only after Damian's been well established as the new Robin. It'd be kind of suspicious if Timothy Drake became Tim, Archy, and Lionel around the same time people realized there were three feral Robins running around instead of one. The fam would probably try to convince them otherwise but they'd totally bully the Bats into going along with it. Except Barbara. They bribe Barbara.

They do have a favorite Rogue!

Archy's favorite Rogue to beat up is Clayface. He tried to pretend to be Robin once except it was Archy's turn that night, and Clayface punted him into the sewers. Clayface got extra crispy that night and Archy found a new appreciation for electricity.

His favorite Rogue to hang out with is Cat-Woman. He's got a passion for looting that she appreciates. He's learned some of the tricks of the trade from her.

Lionel's favorite Rogue to beat up changes weekly, but the main roster is Penguin, Victor Zsasz (they have matching psycho energy but like on different sides of the scale), and Prometheus because the guy tried to off Commissioner Gordon.

His favorite Rogue to hang out with is Poison Ivy. He brings her plants and she's got the best kidnapping etiquette. As in he never wakes up with a headache if she ever tries to take him out. She can match his intensity in protecting the things they care about. She's like a mentor to him.

Tim's favorite Rogue to beat up is Cluemaster (bc he's bffs with Steph) and Two-Face. They're relatively simple to outwit- they're smart but they're not Tim-smart and fighting them gives him a break from his own head.

On the flip side, Tim's favorite Rogue to hang with is the Riddler. He's chill when he's not setting up bombs and traps everywhere. Plus, when Tim gets kidnapped by him, they do like a little trivia to pass the time before Batman comes to rescue him.

[ruenii]

i had this idea where Tim has cuteness aggression and is just so bad at conveying it (well not like batman level but you get the point) that sometimes people mistake his cuteness aggression face as a 'im gonna punt you six feet under' face and tim is confused when his brothers or his friends get scared when he just wants to squish em cause they're sososo cute.

his family (except for dick and cass) doesn't know about this so they just think that 'oh god-- oh myfucking gofd-- tim is glaring at me again what the fuck-- what did i do???' and is just scared of what they did to cause tim, THE CALM ONE, to glare at them.

but tim is just:

tim, [on the inside]: awWWWW lOOK AT MY BABY BROTHERS!!! THEY'RE SO CUTE!! I WANNA PAT THEM ON THE HEAD!!! I WANNA SPOIL THEM I WANNA BITE THEIR CHEEKS LOOK AT THEM AWWWEEE I WANNA SQUISH THEM SO HARDD!! NO-- NO THEY WON'T LIKE THAT I HAVE TO STAY CALM!! ENDURE THE URGE TO PINCH THEM!! 🥺🥺

tim, [on the outside]: *glares at them like they just burned his entire supply of coffee and caffeinated drinks and disgust*

duke: did... did i do something--

tim: *clenches his fist*

damian: don't be such a coward, drake, using physical cues to convey your emotions are unbecomi--

tim: *walks out of the room*

duke & damian: ...

duke: oh fuck... did we make his mood even worse?

damian: surely drake hasn't been... affected by that *his body clearly shaking*

dick: don't worry timmy isn't angry at you guys :)

jason: i can hear him screaming what do you mean he isn't angry

dick: he's just... letting out some pent-up frustration..

[casper-nova]

More quotes from my friends as redacted characters. (This is one friend. He says out of pocket shit all the time, but i'm no better.)

Asher to David as a joke: I didn't punch him. I gave him a love tap. I bet you love it when I give you love taps

Darlin: My dad's a proud American

Angel: (Kool-aid man) OH YEAH

Gavin texting Freelancer or lasko: Has anyone told you how fuckalisous today

David: How dare you say that to me

Angel: Say what

David: Meow

Baabe: Don't do that. I've got a Monster between my legs.

Aaron: I really struggle with Spanish.

Smartass: You struggle with a lot of languages don't you?

Aaron: Don't be condescending. I will fall in love.

Honey: Sleep with one eye open. I will smother you.

Angel: But is it morally wrong to fuck an evil king?

Asher: There's a level of morally wrong that I can get behind.

Angel: I'd like to get behind him.

David: Whore

Gavin: Lasko, can you leave? I need a moment with my mistress.

Honey: I'm about to fall.

Guy: don't fall…. Without me

Honey: I'll fall for you.

Guy: Damn… promise?

Honey: Pinky promise, I swear.

Bestie: Oh, that felt scary. Is that what commitment issues feel like?

Angel: I got to grab batman's thigh

David: Why?? Where??? Wtf Ok wait HOW?

Angel: :)

Blake to Sunshine: I will punt a mug at you. Fuck off.

Dear: I forgot that I had milk on my hand.

Lasko: How do you forget that on your hand? I swear to God I would rather have spit and jizz in my hand then that horrible substance.

Vincent: Chat I will actually fucking fist fight you

Porter: Please do?

Vincent: Shut up you fucking masochist.

Angel: Everything tastes better with trauma.

@slimemouse030

[yetanotherknitter]

this is detective chimp erasure

ATE

[nighten-obsidian]

Every time i play the Batman Arkham games i have to deal with this little shit. The Riddler is hands down my other favortie Batman villains but GOD Arkham Riddler really makes me want to punt his face.

That is one thing i STILL FUCKING HATE about Arkham Knight, that your forced to get all the Riddler's trophies and riddles.

[beesbiteandwillowrites]

Give Jason a Baby!!!

Jason is punted into another dimension, one that doesn't match his own timeline/dimension at all. Stuck, he decides there is only one thing he can do: sow some chaos and save some people

He got dumped into the Battinson verse, after the flood has receded. In the chaos, it's fairly easy to set himself up with a halfway decent identity (he steals one). He sets out to go look for his family members, and maybe make some changes for them if he can.

Bruce is young as hell--younger than him, even, which is super weird and he doesn't know what to do with that. Batman only showed up recently, he's nowhere near the superhero powerhouse he had been in Jason's world. But he's (mostly) fine, so Jason leaves him alone for now

His next stop is the kids and whooo, that's not good. Dick was in an orphanage when the flood hit, one that got destroyed. Most of the kids were reported missing, including Dickiebird.

Timmy is a little baby still, too young to really comprehend what's going on, and his parents aren't travelling as much as they had been in Jason's world either, so he decides to just keep an eye on the kid for now. Steph is also good for now, her parents still young and hopeful and her father not yet beaten down by life. Cass he cannot find, but that doesn't mean anything: David Cain was always good at hiding. Duke and Damian aren't born yet

Last he looks into his younger self, and what he finds isn't pretty. Willis is in jail--a good few years before he ended up there in Jason's own universe. Catherine hasn't been seen since the flood, reported missing by a neighbour. That same neighbour also couldn't take care of little Jay and handed him off to an emergency shelter for flood victims.

Realistically, Jason knows that people who haven't turned up yet probably never will. Jay is by all accounts an orphan, and he's maybe 4 ish. Jason remembers foster care, and he doubts it's any better in this version of Gotham, with its unique slew of problems.

He's gonna adopt his younger self

He starts altering his identity, fiddling with government records until it looks like Willis had an illegitimate half-brother, and takes his new paperwork to the shelter. The lady who runs it is suspicious of him, but the paperwork proves that he really is Jay's family, having just arrived in Gotham in an attempt to find his family.

Jason leaves the shelter with a toddler in his arms and embarks on his newest adventure: to become a dad.

[fun-k-board]

Are you taking request for young justice still?

if you are could I request the OG young justice team, if not all then just, Kaldur'ahm with a (gn) Ninja Reader. They grew up in the Ninja clan and are highly skilled. Because the Ninja clan their from specializes in stealth attacks, reader usually doesn't realize people have no idea when they enter a room because they're natural sneaky and quite.

Characters included: Kaldur'ahm / Aqualad , M'Gann M'Orzz / Miss Martian , Conner Kent / Superboy

Pronouns used: None

Relationship: Platonic or romantic, up to you to decide

Note(s) : Yes of course, I wasn't able to do all because I haven't watched it in a while, so have Kaldur, Conner and M'Gann. Sorry it took so long 😭 I procrastinate a lot

Kaldur'ahm / Aqualad

He's so tired man

Bro was trying to chill when you fucking appeared out of nowhere and made him regret being on land

You probably couldn't even tell cause his just eyes widened for a moment before sighing

He doesn't mind too much as long as you try to make him aware

But honestly it's kinda funny so you'll probably continue being sneaky on purpose this time

Kaldur loves your skills as a ninja and appreciates your stealth in missions, but God if he didn't feel his entire body shudder with complete and utter shock

It's rare you're paired with him because stealth tends to be better alone or only talking through coms

M'Gann M'Orzz / Miss Martian

The first time you appeared behind her she screamed and then walked away in complete embarrassment

Now she always has her mind link on with you

But even then, its not enough

Literally cried once after a horror movie marathon, nobody talks about it

You and her go on stealth missions a lot due to her being able to sneak around invisible and you basically being stealthy enough to be considered invisible

Sometimes when you two are feeling funny you'll spook people on your missions before moving away, you get scolded afterwards but it's worth it

Honestly she doesn't mind too much, I think she'd get use to it after a while.

M'Gann will sometimes try pranking you back, so far it's only worked if you're tired.

Conner Kent / Superboy

Straight up punted the fuck out of you the first time while audibly yelling

Conner probably stomped off before coming back and apologising

Probably cried in his room feeling bad tbh

Now whenever you do it he jumps 5 feet in the air like a cat before angrily walking off

Sometimes he does this with enemies, he gets so awkward after it that he just beats them up. They end up worse than if batman found them

Conner tells you half seriously that he doesn't want you to do it publicly, both out of embarrassment and fear he could hurt you on instinct.

You probably try being less quiet like coughing when you enter a room, but it happens occasionally and he might start an argument over it ngl

With how he was in s1, I imagine it'd be like reasoning with a brick wall

Bro is the opposite of stealth in s1 you'd never be paired with this guy