#Our fandom is sooo small :((

[e77y]

Made a friend at poetry club!!! We talked about fan studies, creative writing, etc. and we are gonna join another writing club together 😎

[feyd-meowtha]

@middlingmay's Fic Rec Questions

I saw this list and thought it would be fun to give it a go!!

1) Fic that's made you laugh the most

He May Be The Reason by @c-goldthorn. It's a Clegan Notting Hill au and it makes me squeal with delight. So cute that I got distracted while reading it and missed my stop on the train.

2) A fic that made you cry

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by pillar of our community @swifty-fox. I'm sure most ppl have probably read this one but it's such an amazing post-show continuation that really doesn't pull it's punches when it comes to both PTSD and the realities of being gay in the 40s

3) Fave comfort, silly fic

It's a little rogue but I'm gonna say Awake, Alive by the wonderful @whirlpool-blogs. It's a pet sematary au so not exactly what you would call traditionally comforting but the ending makes me so happy and the whole thing is just a joy. The fact that this came to mind when I thought 'comfort fic' is probably pretty telling about me as a person....

4) The fic that made you try a genre or trope that you don't usually read

This is also a bit rogue but it was tricky since I'll read anything, so I'll go with Strings of the Strings of Life by the lovely @weimarweekly, not because of any of the content but because I don't, as a general rule, read Dune fic that was written after Dune 2 released. I've bored everyone to tears with my complaints about that version of Feyd but it is what it is so I tend not to like any fics written about that version of the character BUT the prospect of a feydpaul Berlin techno au was too delicious to resist and the whole fic is so fun. It makes me miss Germany sooo bad.

5) An author who has inspired your own fic writing

This one has got to go to the anonymous author of both Close And Yet Closer and The Replacement. Both of these fics are god tier and their character psychology and willingness to allow their versions of the characters and relationships to be ugly and messy are so inspiring to me. They were also the first person in the John/Hausman tag on ao3 which is currently just me and them. I think about the replacement all the time and it was a HUGE influence on 3am Eternal. If I can ever write half as well as them I will die happy.

6) What are your fave underdog authors? Those that you feel are underappreciated and deserve a bit more love

Hmmm, this is kinda hard cus the MOTA fandom is pretty small so I feel like a lot of stuff gets decent buzz. Imma shout out @whirlpool-blogs again and especially their fucked up clegans fics, I have read and reread all of their works and they're always so so good. I will also add @steeseman for Up In Our Bedroom. It's another great post-canon fic and while it has a lot of hits, I don't think I've seen anyone talking about it on here.

7) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did more of when it comes to fanfiction.

The obvious one is comment, it really does make my day when I get a nice comment, even just a couple words or an emoji mean a lot. The other thing I would say is writing curt/Kenny fic, there's not much out there and I want more please. Also more fics where characters relationships are like genuinely kind of fucked up and toxic. I love that shit.

8) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did less of when it comes to fanfiction.

Oh man, I really do not know. The only thing I can think of is that I hate the word 'yap' or 'yapping' so if I see it in a fic I shudder. Hmmmm, I guess I also wish that there was a little more consideration when writing Gale's dad as an alcoholic because it's often treated as the basis for him being a shitty person. Addicts aren't automatically bad people and I sometimes feel like it's portrayed that way. @blixabargelds wrote an excellent post on this

9) I'm adding an extra one and that is current WIPs I am reading

Sympathy For The Devil by @blixabargelds, it's a modern ghost hunting AU and the set up is AMAZING. I will also throw Superstar in here even though it's not releasing main story chapters yet, everything Frankie writes is so tailored to my personal tastes it's crazy and I am so excited to read @mildharm's John POV chapters too. Literally foaming at the mouth thinking about it rn. When it starts being released fully, I fear it may kill me.

Love Song From A Dog and The Heart Is A Muscle by @swifty-fox. I've only just started THIAM but I'm so hyped for their take on the tattoo shop/flower shop au.

Hit Me Where The Heart Is by @london-cowboy makes me legitimately insane. I jump for joy whenever there is a new update, these versions of the characters and their stories are, as Paris Hilton would say, beyond. I do not have the words to say how much I am loving this fic. The characters and setting feel so real and it's just so creative. AMAZING.

I need to get around to starting let us not desert one another; we are an injured body and also the time skip fic whose name escapes me by @irregularcollapse and also catching up with @weimarweekly's rodeo fic, Looking For Eight

Writing this was very fun and I encourage anyone reading to give it a go if they fancy it!!

[2af-afterdark]

Lord of the Mountain

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Content: Malleus x afab!Yuu|Player (you/your), fantasy au, oral sex (Yuu recieving), Malleus is a dragon-man and we monster fuckers shall feed, yuu is shy, first times, yuu is a virgin, double dicks for our dragon✌️ A/N: Planned for this to be longer, but the spot I hit was cute sooo... Also, you know, real life is kicking me in the teeth right now Word Count: 912

Malleus – the fabled terrible lord of the mountain whose moods controlled the very weather and earth around him; whose happiness made crops grow plentiful and healthy and whose anger split the sky with lightning and thunder – held your knees apart to admire the space between your legs that you'd been trying to hide by closing them. His emerald eyes bore into you, a thousand questions dancing at the tip of his tongue but not one being asked as he concerned himself more with studying every inch of your beauty; the shape of your hips, the build of your frame, the swell of your breasts hidden behind the cup of your hands, the shyness on your face as you looked away from him, he etched all of you into his eyes and committed it to his very long-lived memory.

He intended for more senses than simply his sight to admire you. He buried his head between your legs, pressing his lips against your lower ones. His long, black tongue dragged through your wet folds, then effortlessly doubled back to get another taste of your chastity. 

He savored the flavor of your arousal, demonstrating the restraint of a saint so as to not ravish you entirely despite his desires. You were, at the end of the day, only human and he had to use a delicate hand when handling you or else you may just break beneath his claws. 

But when he glanced upward, you were not looking at him. Your eyes were turned away, while your lip was practically red from how fiercely you had been biting it to muffle your own voice. You were the perfect visage of nervousness and anxiety, but he intended to chase that expression away.

His hands slid beneath your buttocks, lifting your hips enough to lift them into the air and press firmly against his mouth so he could slip his tongue inside of you. The small, surprised gasp you made as he licked the sides of your inner walls threatened to test his patience. After all, you were a feast. So much so that he had to forcefully pull himself away before he devoured you whole.

Malleus pulled away from your dripping hole. “That should be enough to allow your body to accept me.”

“My lord,” you said with warm cheeks as you stared away from your own nudity, trying to ignore how your lower half burned and throbbed with want after what he had done, “I don't think there is a human alive who could welcome all of you.”

He didn't have a frame of reference to compare himself to a human male, but surely he wasn't that much larger. Not enough to be of concern at the very least.

He repositioned himself between your legs, sitting up so he could rest his hardness – both of them – against your mound. The hand holding your left leg open was replaced by a tail curling around your thigh so Malleus could press a spot on your lower stomach.

“They will only reach to here.”

Only.

As if the place he was touching wasn't a hair's breadth from your belly button. As if you were supposed to find it comforting as he brushed his fingers over that spot. As if you weren’t lying under a man – well, a dragon technically speaking – for the first time.

“My lord, that's still quite the feat.”

“Is it? It seems normal for a female dragon to take this much. Are humans different?”

“I wouldn't know, my lord.”

The corners of his mouth pulled slightly downward. “We've spoken about using titles and you’ve already uttered mine three times.”

You felt your face grow warm in shame and embarrassment as he pointed out your behavior. “I'm sorry. I'm not used to referring to you by name yet.”

“Even now?” He asked.

“Even now,” you confirmed.

“Shall we delay the ceremony until you're more comfortable?” He continued to ask, but the way his erections twitched against your entrance in anticipation told you that he was eager to proceed.

“No, my lord.” As nervous as a part of you was, you wanted the same thing deep down. “I'm ready and willing. Please allow me to officially be your bride.”

Bride was the term given to those residents – male or female, man or woman, old or young, rich or poor – of your village and many others nearby that were sent as a sacrifice to the lord of the mountain. When the fields were barren and the water ran dry, they were expected to throw themselves at the lord's mercy and convince him to grant prosperity to their families and neighbors. But you would be different than all his previous brides, because you would be the first one to truly be his mate – or, that was the term he used, at least, but it sounded so animalistic that you still chose to use the phrase you were more accustomed to.

As soon as he had your permission, you could feel something fat pressed against your entrance, already pushing its way inside.

An unease rose up in your stomach for what you knew would happen next. “M- my lord?”

“It's only one and I shall be gentle,” he promised as he leaned over you. He laid his palm against yours to lace his fingers with yours. “Tell me if you would like to stop.”

“I don't plan to,” you replied as you curled your fingers around his. “Please continue.”

[myobsessionsspace]

Hi! I hope you dont mind this. I recently was informing myself more about bts and their past experiences, and i’m very probably wrong but i noticed how a lot of members (all of them, actually) have talked about and showed more or less some struggles, such as jimin, or v when he looked really numb and lost during official events, or yoongi, except for jungkook (and maybe jin?).

Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time), or others “small” episodes, jungkook himself never expressed a specific period of time where he was struggling for whatever reason, and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say. To me it looks like he maybe downplays/avoids talking about his own hard feelings and times, despite probably being one of the members who struggles and struggled the most (his unreleased song being a good example, in my opinion), but i still came here to get another point of view because i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him. Maybe my curiosity is having the best of me and that’s all this is about🙏. But really, the way he can go through the most gut wrenching moments and still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.

We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.

Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know, and what’s your opinion on him not really sharing it? I hope again my question doesn’t sound inappropriate or rude in any way, i don’t want this to come off as invasive or wanting in any way to force jungkook to express his personal struggles. And really, excuse me if i just missed content and i’m asking things i could easily find myself. I appreciate you so much.

Hi Lovely!

Thank you so much for this ask! It’s sooo juicy 😍

I’ve been mulling over it for a while because it’s something that I could talk about without ever stopping. It’s an ask that could allow me to get into the evolution of Jungkook from trainee days to now, you know.

It’s an ask that I could talk about and ‘compare’ (I hate that though, comparing people 🙈) the members and their different approaches to music when it comes to their group and solo work and how theirs to has evolved.

I’m not gonna lie I felt a bit defensive for Jungkook during his solo era. Something the fandom loves to do is ‘ours are better than yours’ with others, even within their own members, they like to be like ‘our group has the most song writing credits’ which leads to comparison with other groups, which leads to comparisons within the group and members solos etc.

When Jungkook’s turn came around I feel like there was a lot of expectation. I can only imagine what Jungkook himself felt.

Jungkook & Songwriting

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

To this point I think it shows what I’m saying, the expectation and comparison. I think because BTS have always been lauded as involved in their music, because it was something that wasn’t really the standard to kpop for their generation and those before, there’s always kind of been an expectation of them? But I don’t know if it’s because JK is one of my biases, but I feel like he was more ‘vilified’ for an album comprised of songs written by others and solely in English

The thing is though BTS do and have had much more creative control than a lot of kpop groups of their generation and the generations before, it’s not as straightforward as that. I don’t want to diminish anyone’s contribution or years of work, but it would be worth noting how one can get a songwriting credit. The rap line write their own bars, so for any song rap line have a rap verse, that’s an automatic songwriting credit.

Within a song making process there can be so many hands involved and points where tweaks are made, sometimes people can all get together and think tank the creation of the song lyrics, leading to the core group of writers, then through the recording process when tweaks are made more songwriting credits get added etc.

Or someone could write a song and due to the song being their baby not allow for many changes made apart from maybe by one producer, leading to only one or two song writing credits vs 7 song writing credits on one song.

Jungkook’s solo & group contributions

Each song would have a story behind it as to the level of contribution from JK (and other members) but it wouldn’t change the fact that he’d be entitled to a songwriting credit. For example ‘Dreamers’ was a song already done and sent to him for recording, but through tweaks made in the recording process Jungkook earned a songwriting credit.

Songs for ARMY

Whereas we know songs like ‘Still With You’ ‘My You’ were Jungkook’s babies and songs with only credits for Jungkook and the producer.

Isn’t it interesting the songs that Jungkook has the most involvement, if not primary involvement, are the songs about ARMY?

Jungkook has said that he like Jin, don’t hold on to negative emotions. They deal and move on.

However it seems like there’s one emotion that’s always remained constant and true to Jungkook, his love for army. I mean this man was so confident in this that he tattooed ARMY. He grew up with army, they supported his career and cheered him on, he’s said it’s because of being in the group and the group being successful that he’s been able to experience things such as the travels and activities in shows for army and the delights 🥴 of twinkies.

Not only is it easy for Jungkook to speak to army via lives etc it’s easy for him to speak to army via songs. It’s not a feeling he wants to process and move on from.

A Dramatic Shift?

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

Is that all he said?

Where Jungkook talks about wanting to focus on displaying his vocals and focusing on different songs to display them rather than focusing on songwriting

I think I again maybe it’s a combination of comparison and expectations?

He has spoken before of his wish to try singing different stories not his own

If you don’t do anything at all, please have a look at this post and watch the live & video in it, if you want some understanding about Jungkook from Jungkook himself.

Thoughts for Another Time

‘Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time)’

I actually have a whole separate theory about this moment right here. I’ve talked about it with others in the past. It’s something that would need a whole separate post to get into.

Do We Delve Too Deep?

‘i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him’

I think it’s the human condition to want to understand. I think it’s not an issue when you want to understand someone, someone that interests you, someone that brings you joy with their person and their talents. I think where you, myself and others have to be careful, is when we go from wanting to just understand someone to judging someone. Being disappointed in them for not living up to our expectations. When we thought we sussed them out and they don’t follow the path we thought made sense based on their past actions and our understanding of them.

With Jungkook, because we are not privy to the inner workings of of his mind, his emotions, his motivations, his day to day, it’s not fair to him as a human to be disappointed when he doesn’t do what we expect based on what he’s done in the past, based on what his members have done, based on what his fans expected.

It’s ok, I think, to sit and think on topics like this but I don’t think it’s ok to then project feelings onto someone because of it. They are our feelings and we need to understand why and then figure out what good they do to hold onto them? What it means going forward if those feeling hold value to us, do we still support, follow, invest or do we adjust our thinking or involvement? That’s what we have control over.

The kind of person Jungkook is

I’d like to preface this by saying I am one person on the internet. Same as anyone else, with no more or less access to him than the majority of us. The same media I consume is what is available to us all. His lives, his interviews, his songs, festas, memories, bombs, episodes, shows, documentaries etc.

All my inferences are from these, not Jungkoook himself, not a company insider, not a friend of a friend of the members, a sister of one of the members siblings friends 🤡 my opinion and opinion only 😅.

He is who he is. He says what he says. Even the members at times feel like they want to dig soul bearing emotions out of him

They’ve been saying for years

When is Too Much, Too Much?

‘Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know’

I don’t think looking to the past and nitpicking, microanalysing etc to point out where he looked the most miserable etc would do good to anyone. Being there in the moment, if we were, we would be trying to show him our love and support, empathising, seeing it to make ourselves not feel as alone, to see him as human etc.

For me to do that now for no reason as to just point out that…he’s…human? Well I think we should already know that. I do think Jungkook really was vulnerable and as open as he could be as an idol with millions of viewers during his lives of 2023.

That, I think, was one of the biggest windows into Jungkook the person, more as who his is now, the adult and not who he was when he was 19, 22, 24 etc. There were so many nuggets that could easily have been missed amongst the fun of the karaokes and cooking and eating etc.

I would advise you or anyone to, whenever you have free time, just pop in one of his lives, start from Feb and work your way through whenever you have a free moment (I know you said you have been 💜).

���We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.’

The thing is with this, in my opinion...when have any of the members been completely and utterly specific? We get little sentences or conversations here and there where we can refer to, but if it’s one thing I’ve come to realise about BTS is that they are good at letting us in without really letting us in. The hardships they have shared tbh can be generalised to each of them, struggling with idol body image, tough schedules, dance routines, being in their heads. Yes some members have spoken about their mental health struggles more than others (Namjoon & Yoongi), they’re not learning dance routines as quick as others or being confident with their dance (Namjoon & Jin).

But they’ve also all talked sometimes as a group of struggles, general to the group as a whole. I think if Jungkook didn’t share their sentiments, he would have said he didn’t?

Did we really know that they were on the verge of splitting until they said so on stage and then afterwards. We know of the few fights they tell us about and then those are the only ones they refer to for years after, and we can count them in one hand, vmin dumpling fight, namgi throwing laundry fight, hopekook and banana fight…?

When watching something like their last Festa Dinner, where the others talked, shared, poured out, like it’s been said in the past, when his hyung hurt is when he hurts. Maybe it is that he didn’t/doesn’t struggle with the same things that the other members struggled/struggle with. Being a trainee and an idol is all he’s ever known being with his hyungs, his friends, family, working, travelling, enjoying good food and good drink is Jungkook. Namjoon (David Quinones and producer Tony Esterly) writing a song like ‘Begin’ to capture Jungkook’s essence?

Source: Doolset Bangtan

We know that Jungkook started trainee life in 2010? Born in 1997, ignoring Korean age system he’d have been around 13? I think we can guess the general kind of hardships pre 13.

Then once trainee life started we’ve heard him talk about having to learn to share, having to learn to dance and sing plus schooling where he probably had people either teasing him for thinking his was ‘a hotshot’ or wanting to be his friend because he was a trainee then a famous idol or constantly filming him, picturing him and gossiping about him? Away from home, constantly aching and exhausted, not knowing if he’d make it.

He has done vlogs where he talks about seeing his parents after a long time and how happy he was, he’s shown how happy he was to celebrate his graduation with his hyung and more interested in hanging out with them, than celebrating with his fellow schoolers. He’s talked with Jimin in a live about how after dance training he found a new passion and considered giving up being in the group.

Blog of his time in The US getting extra dance training & Part 2

It seems like with Jungkook he is someone to focus on the good, instead of the misssing his family, he talks to fans about the happiness in reuniting, instead of the difficulties of schooling he talks about the gratitude in having his idol career be successful enough to not be concerned with not being the best at school etc.

So I’d say over the years he has with little sentences here and there talked about his hardships but they probably don’t stand out as much because he, maybe through conscious effort, tells it to fans when there’s a positive to take from it. Like you also noted: ‘still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.’

He Is Who He Is

I wrote this at a point when I wanted people to understand a bit more about Jungkook, yes it’s in relation to his bond with Jimin but mainly focuses on Jungkook’s personality

His MBTI

Introvert, introvert, introvert!

He’s taken his MTBI several times through the years and one thing that has always remained consistent was his introvertion. talking about others, talking about ARMY maybe comes more easily to him than talking, writing and singing about himself?

He himself takes stock in his MBTI and seems to feel it does reflect him.

Music Is His Love & Passion

when all the members got to design their rooms, this was Jungkook’s design. Music is his love & passion through and through

When you want to make Jungkook happy, give him a karaoke mic and leave him be.

Suchwita - Jungkook Karaoke Special

I don’t think we have to worry for a long long time about not getting new music from Jungkook, songs written by others, songs written by him, songs about others’ experiences and songs about his own, we gotta just

‘Let Him Kook’ TD;LR

Jungkook is as complex a human as any other member but more often than not, a typical introvert, one to live in the now and man of few words.

Vulnerable, raw Jungkook. Listening to the song made by ARMY for BTS after their pause in group activities. Jungkook feeling with ARMY on world tour. Jungkook with ARMY on white day.

Ask him to write a song about ARMY and he can give you 10 but ask him to release a body of work that reflects him through and through, the perfectionist that he is, the introvert that he is, the experiences he’s had that he’s moved on from…as he said, there’s plenty of time for more from him in the future.

After his billboard number one’s for ‘Seven’ his debut solo single

He seems to not be someone to dwell on the sad and the hard but to deal with it and move on. He seems like someone who wants to share the good with people, not have people sad for him, in his songs he seems to want to reflect this hence his songwriting being more in that vein.

He like struggles like everyone else, has hardships like the others, has lows etc but his personality seems to not see the point in sharing to the extent some may want or get from the other members.

The reason we love each of them is BECAUSE they’re not the same, right? Right!

There is soo much more I could say (as one of my biases I could talk about him all day!) but tbh I needed to post this as is, because I was starting to obsess over this ask and letting it snowball🙈

Maybe we can come back to some points and tackle each separately one day. Thank you again lovely!

💜

[cartwrong]

Sooo, the wonderful @abubblingcandle has inspired me to see if there is any interest in a Slow Horses Big Bang?

The aims - to help pass the time until season 5/book 9 and keep stoking the fire of our small but enjoyable fandom

The concept - authors writing fics of over 10k and collaborating with incredible artists to create works that link with each other

The organisers - me and @louisaguy two people who love Slow Horses and spreadsheets and fandom events :)

I will put more information under the cut (and this is just to gauge if there is any interest and is in no way legally binding so please share) but my question to you all is:

Actual Logistical Details

Time Period - the event will span approximately 6 months with sign-ups being sometime in early February and finished products being posted in August (ideally I would love for it to be right before s5 airs but Apple TV has not returned any of my calls)

Authors - You can write about anything you want as long as it fits AO3 restrictions and is about Slow Horses (TV show or books). The minimum word count is 10k (but like if you finish your fic and its 9k, don't stress). It can be something you have started already as long as you haven't posted any chapters on ao3 yet. Everyone will receive a piece of art with their fic. It will not be anonymised, so feel free to talk about your fic, share snippets, etc. There will be regular check-ins, but only for me to be able to help support you.

Artists - Any type of media goes! Video, gifs, edits, playlists, podfics, paintings, drawings, and fic documents. If you are not sure if it goes, then please ask! When you sign up, you will be asked if you are willing to create art for more than one fic. Please don't overexert yourself. You will also be asked if you are willing to be a pinch hitter (to fill in for any artist who has to pull out).

Other Areas - there will be a tumblr and a discord server but updates will primarily be email.

Most importantly I want this to be chill and fun so if you have any worries please send me an ask or a message

[b3achysurfur]

yk ppl really get on my ass for hating logan but tbh I think you all secretly hate him too. you won’t admit it, for various reasons, but everytime I go through the logan tag, looking for trouble and inspiration, there’s absolutely nothing. people only post about logan when they’re talking about/drawing the group as a whole— but they rarely post him as the star of solo art or hc posts. the only people that ever really post ab logan are the ‘x reader’ accounts and even then they neglect him compared to how often they talk ab the other main 5! 😭😭 I don’t even fw those accs but they lwk the only ppl left to bother 🤦‍♀️

noowww don’t get me wrong, this epidemic makes me HAPPY asf but I’m starting to think logan fans are using a different tag or something to avoid me. it’s seriously a desert over there in #logan fields 😓 SOOO I don’t wanna hear nun of y’all fake logan stans get mad at me anymore bc you obviously dgaf ab him either. feels like I’m the only one that keeps his irrelevant name alive 🥱🥱 maybe this is the victory I was looking for but I feel unsatisfied. I need to hear slander towards him echoing in the small streets of our fandom, until then, I will not rest. Not until I’m satisfied.

[inklore]

after a year and a handful of months of debating on if i should, or wanted to, do commissions (and with some convincing and hyping from friends) i've decided why the heck not!

so to everyone whose ever complimented me and hyped me up for my themes and graphics thank you and you're definitely another driving force in this decision.

making graphics is therapeutic to me and i take a lot of pride and joy in doing it, from seeing everyone loving the things i create. and i want to share that pride and joy even more, sooo if you've ever struggled with making a good theme, feel too lazy to make one, need a banner for a fic or masterlist, a header, or just need someone to help your graphic vision come together; i'm here to provide!

before you commission something, or just want some examples, please check out my past work and portfolio!

PORTFOLIO | PINTEREST | ART TAG | GIFS

PLEASE THOROUGHLY READ THROUGH THE RULES!!!!

✶ all payments will be made through kofi or fiverr depending on what you're commissioning. if you'd rather go through paypal that is also a valid option just message me.

when it comes to commissioning anything details matter!!! i need complete details of what you want to be created. i will not accept something like 'floral vibe' or 'something with browns'. that gives me nothing. i need a vision, i need as much information as possible, examples (but do not take them from other creators please i will decline your commission), you can take inspo or examples from my own themes, or go through my pin board. the more details the better. the greater i can make your vision come into view. this is important!!!

i will not use other peoples art. do not ask for it to be included in whatever project i am creating. everything i make is for personal use only.

you will get two redos for me to change something you don't like about the theme. a preview of the finished product will be sent your way and you can ask for something to be completely re-done, but after that no changes will be made.

please include your user or where you want me to send your graphics within your request.

there's not a time span in which you have to use the theme or graphic for, but a week would be complimentary.

you can commission as many times as you wish after i've finished the first one.

for my own personal reasons minors are not allowed to commission things.

we do not have to be mutuals, nor do you have to be following me to commission something.

you don't have to outwardly give me credit but please do not claim my creations as your own.

if you have any questions before commissioning something my messages are always open and there is never a dumb question. please feel free to ask!

✶ fandoms i will not accept commissions for: anime, supernatural, our flags mean death, good omens (because i am not in them nor have enough knowledge on how to make the vision really suit said fandoms).

a full theme includes: a navigation banner and a header.

when commissioning a theme there are a few things that need to be mentioned and answered, so please include them in your request!

what kind of navi banner do you want? (refer to my portfolio for this, or if you just want something simplistic, big, small, medium, extra, messy, chaotic, etc)

what vibe are you going for? (dark academia, greek myth, ocean, dainty, horror, etc)

colors? (a must ok i need to know, if you give me none then i'm going to do whatever and choose what i think looks best and that's also fine if you want me to have complete creative liberties)

whats your overall vision? (can be included in the vibes section but giving me more detail is better)

text. (what do you want included on it, words, titles, information, quotes, etc)

examples. (like i mentioned in the rules examples are encouraged but do not take them from other creators on here and i will not copy, or make them look like someone else's work)

what kind of header do you want? (a simple png that goes along with the navi colors and vibe, a whole other banner-esk graphic, none, etc)

✶ see the add ons section below if you want more things included in your theme.

now these add ons are only for themes. if you commission a header only, or gif, they will have their own add on options.

$1 - for dividers that match your theme in color and vibe (if you want symbol, graphic, or anything that's not color then the price goes up a dollar)

$1 - three+ icon options (want the perfect icon to fit your theme and don't want to do the searching yourself? i got you)

$2 - content warning + minor dni banners (i'll make theme specifically to match your theme, with your user, and whatever you want them to say or look like etc)

$3 - layout + navi formatting (aka i'll come up with a completely new layout format for your navigation post + your bio)

$4 - a gif header or a gif included within the navi graphic (this is the highest price because finding clips, extracting scenes into caps, making the gif, coloring it to match the theme, blending, etc, is a lot lol)

a header commission includes: only a header. it is not a theme, just a mobile header, or a header for a masterlist, or fic.

the information needed for this commission are as listed below.

what kind of header do you want? (aka what is it for. this is important because the look is dependent on this information)

colors, vibes, vision. (more detail the better)

text. (if you want text on it, what do you want it to say, so title, etc)

examples. (not needed but a plus)

gif commissions include: gifs for your fics or masterlists. not for themes or headers.

depending on how you want these little moving pictures to look you gotta give some details.

fandom, character, scenes. (don't just say 'any scene' unless you truly want me to choose whatever scene lmao)

how many? (the current cut off is six, if you want more then there's an add on)

coloring. (you can completely leave this up to me but if you want them to be a certain color then please let me know, i'll also check with you before making all of them to make sure you like the coloring)

text. (want them to say anything? a title? subtitles? dialogue from your fic? your username on them? etc)

add on: blends. (want two characters or actors from different angles, scenes, or fandoms in the same gif? i got you)

add on: textures. (if you want added details such as a texture on the gifs then this will be extra, but i need to know what kind of texture / details you want added)

fic commissions: are only done through fiverr or paypal. if you are interested in commissioning a fic or any kind of writing then please refer to my fiverr and inquire over there or message me on here. thank you!!

✶REMEMBER TO MESSAGE ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE BEFORE COMMISSIONING, NO MATTER THE TIME OR SUBJECT, I ENCOURAGE IT!

contact info: on tumblr, or discord: toldbylaur.

where to commission: kofi or pm me!

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 11

♡ Chapter Inspo: Song Lyrics; State Of Grace - Red(TV) TS "And I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same"

♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡

♡ Summary: Carm goes to see Winnie after a long day at work, Winnie discovers that famous chefs like Carmy have fans & she introduces him to the world of fandom. They have a chat about BDSM and possibly exploring it more.

♡ W/C: 8,384

♡ Posted Date: 03/07/2024

♡ A/N: Helloooo all!! FIRST Just so y'all know for the story - Winnie is like 4'11 on a good day, Carmy/JAW is like 5'7/5'8 - so that's why Winnie seems so 'small' , they really have a normal height difference for a couple lol JAW is a short king. Anywho I saw a post abt. how there are actually fanfics for famous chefs and stuff and I looked it up- it is totally true!!! Loves it, So of course it inspired this chapter hehehe I feel like Carm would totally be an old man and not even KNOW what fanfic is but Winnie is a professional fangirl. Also - I am currently watching TS in Singapore & DBATCxBabe?!?!?!? IM SCREAMING!! Dead dead gone!! I predicted thissss heheheheh

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutsmutsmut, BDSM talk, OH period sex (sowwy ik some people don't like that but u can skip and winniexcarm will be back next week with some fluffy goodness) getting lazy w these warnings but if you've made it this far in the fic nothing will trigger you i've already gotten most the triggering shit outta the way.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

When I heard a light knock at my door, I giddily jumped up from my comfy nest in bed I’d created for myself and dashed over, opening the door right away and Carmy dropped his hand away from the peephole, smirking. 

“And what if I was a killer this time, did you even look?” he stepped in the doorway, wrapping his arms around my waist and his hands sliding down to squeeze my bum gently.

I laughed a bit, wrapping my arms around his middle, crossing my fingers, and draping my arms around him lightly. “I guess I was so excited to see you I’d have been dead, kisses now” I puckered my lips up and closed my eyes expectantly.��

“Mmm…I’m expecting my test to be aced next time I come over yeah?” he pecks my lips sweetly and I open my eyes, furrowing my brows a bit before giggling.

“Test” I repeated, “You’re testing me?” I rested my forehead against his, gazing into the blue eyes I’d missed so much even though it’d only been 8 hours since I’d seen him last. 

“Y’can’t open up the door without checkin’, baby. This is a decent area- but Chicago is fuckin’ nuts” he nudged the door closed with his foot and tightened his grip on my waist slightly, the feeling of the calouses over his fingers causing goosebumps to rise over my flesh..

“Fine, but only cause I’m sooo obedient..for you” I pulled him into another kiss, wrapping my fingers in his frizzy curls and humming happily. I ran my tongue over his, enjoying the taste of tobacco and the minty gum he must have gotten rid of just before he got here. I feel his tense muscles relax slightly under my touch as I gently scratched my nails against his scalp. We made out for a few heavenly minutes, our noses bumping sweetly, him running his hands up my waist to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing strokes back and forth.

He pulled away slightly, causing my eyes to flutter open and find his gaze. “Hm?” I questioned and he smiled a bit.

“I uh- I smell like work, I need to shower, honey” he kissed my forehead tenderly, his lips lingering for a sweet moment. 

I buried my face in his neck, inhaling deep and dramatically, letting out a satisfied hum which made him laugh, his chest shaking with movement.. “Mmmm…you smell soo good I love the way you smell Carmy, a little kitcheny, but still you,” I mumble into his shirt and he rubs up my back, his nails brushing over my ribs..

“You are fuckin’ weird babe,” he said, causing me to giggle and look up at him, resting my chin where it met his sternum and gazing up at him with a cheeky grin.

“Better get used to it, go and shower, pretty-boy- I can give you a massage after and everything if ya want. And I promise I’ll control myself this time” I said, pulling away with a step back. “Maybe” I added and he chuckled, grabbing his backpack from where he dropped it on the floor and heading to the bathroom.

“We both know you have shown little self-control around me while shirtless” he nudged it open, zipping open his backpack and dropping his usual grey sweatpants and boxers on the bathroom counter before tossing the bag on the floor. 

I gasp playfully at his accusation, “I’m Sorry- are you calling me thirsty?” I stood in the doorway, arms crossed with a playful grin.

He hummed and shrugged, turning on the shower and tugging his hoodie off, and undershirt as well. Of course, I watched- what male-attracted person wouldn’t watch him undress if given the chance? 

He brushes his hair back from the ruffling of the fabric, turning to pull the shower curtain open and I got the stellar show of watching his toned muscles flex beneath his skin as he does so. 

He reached down, unbuckling his belt, the metal buckle jingling as he pulled it off with one long tug, an action that had me readjusting my stance in the doorway to ease the now pulsing ache between my thighs. 

He unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down casually, and stepped towards the door, breaking my trance. “Mmhm…thirsty” he said softly with a smirk, pecking my lips before shutting the door in my face.I scoffed, blinking a few times in surprise and my cheeks going hot at the very true accusation. 

“Oh wow! Wow! A girl can’t enjoy free eye candy in her own damn house in which she pays the bills!?” I called through the door as I headed to my room with a smile, hearing him chuckle a bit. 

I laid back on my bed, opening my phone and going back to my scrolling on Tik Tok. It was about 10 minutes of senseless scrolling while listening to the water run- before, for some strange reason, I had the urge to click the search button and type in Carmy’s name. 

It felt…a little creepy. But- I pushed the shame off telling myself its normal to want to see someone you’re seeing’s social media, so I decided to feed that little voice in my mind telling me it was a good idea. 

And boy was it a great idea. 

The first 20 or so videos were absolute fan-cams of Carmen from different interviews he’d done for different events, award shows, etc. and the comments were absolutely filthy- and also spoke to my very soul for the way he made me feel..

‘Oh- I KNOW it’s big- FS fs!!’

‘I need him in a way thats concerning to feminism- like..strip my rights away’

‘He seems SO unhinged&crazy abt his craft…I NEED him’

‘Chef- more like DADDY’

‘You KNOW he's ripped, look at the armsss- and the HANDS?! NEED EM AROUND MY MF THROAT!!!’

Each comment i’d read I was giggling more, but then- an even better thought popped into my mind, if theres fancams… There has to be fanfiction.

 I nearly sprained a thumb opening my Tumblr app and typing in his name in the search bar. I giggled maniacally as if I just struck gold about 5 minutes later of digging through reposts of photoshoots he’d done fore magazines that I was amazed he didnt post on his personal instagram- when I struck the first one. 

Little gasps and giggles left my lips as I continued to read through the post. Being honest with myself, I wasn’t giggling at the people posting- I was giggling because I knew Carm doesn’t have a clue about this- and I can not wait to see the look on his face when I tell him about it.

I was so engulfed in the story of some fantasy someone had about Carm roughly fucking them in over the counter in the kitchen, giggling at the idea, that I hadn’t even heard the shower water cut off.

 I wish we could do that in the kitchen after everything was closed - but truth be told, Carmy is way too shy for public stuff, at least right now. But damn- after he leaves me in the mornings? I should be reading up on his tumblr tag for ideas because holy fuck- these bitches are filthy whores in the best way.

The bathroom door clicks open and he flicked off the bathroom light. “What’s all the gigglin’ out here missy?” he asked amusedly, coming over to now his side of the bed. I looked up to see him shirtless, clad in the light grey sweatpants I’d come to love so much that hung low off of his toned hips. 

“Uh-” I said, the meer view of him completely erasing all previous thoughts from my brain. Fuck his curls are so much more pronounced when they’re wet, it drives me nuts. No wonder his chest is so curly…

“TikTok?” he asks when I don’t reply, instead just admiring his frame, kneeling on the mattress and getting in bed next to me and he sees the Tumblr app open with a screen full of text. “Readin’ then, baby?” he asks now, and I realize I still hadn’t said anything, my focus on the little curly patch of hair that adorned the middle of his chest.

“Everyone wants to fuck you” I said the first thing that came to my mind, my eyes flickering to his finally, and he laughed. His head fell back on the headboard, eyes crinkling up in amusement adorably. 

“What?” he asked, poking my side playfully. “Who wants to fuck me? I haven’t gotten any offers as of late other than you, of course” he snorts and pushed his wet curls back off his forehead.

“N-no you’re like…famous, Carm, like- alot of people want to fuck famous chef’s.. I didn’t realize it before but it’s like..a kink? I guess? Like.. how I wanna fuck winged dudes, but some girls ultimate kink is a super sexy, awarded, top of the line chef ” I giggled and his eyebrows raised, a smirk forming on his lips.

“A kink?” he shakes his head amusedly, rolling his eyes lightly. “And who told you this baby. Sadie?” he asked and it was my turn to laugh.

“No! No, It was me, I figured it out… have- have you not looked yourself up on TikTok? People like, they make fancams with the interviews you’ve done at those um- the James Beard award things for the last few years? And the other interviews about how you’ve come up that you did back in New York..they’re like- people want you, Carm, really- like, you have these bitches pussys meowing.” I said with a giggle, smiling wide as a blush crept to his cheeks.

“The fuck is a fancam?” he asks, causing me to giggle.

“You are such an old man sometimes, you know that right?” I pecked his lips and he squeezed my cheeks when I try to pull away, smushing my lips into a dramatic pout.

“I’m only three years older than you, you know that right?” he said and kissed my lips once more before letting me go.

I laugh at his firmness on the matter. “Three years closer to 30, mister 27 and 24, 2 very different check points” I teased and went back to my tik tok likes. His eyebrows raised as he leaned in, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer when he saw my last 13 likes in the previews contained his face.

“Should I be scared?” He mumbled into my neck with a soft chuckle, his minty breath hitting my senses.

“Mmm…Knowing you you’re gonna be all flustered, especially by the comments” I said, clicking on the first one. I smiled as I watched, “Look at that sexy little chef” I teased and he pinched my waist playfully as ‘Serpentine’ by The Gorillaz played in the background.

“S’what- people just like, look at me with music? Wait- why-why does it keep cutting to pictures of my hands from that article?” he questions, causing me to laugh and bury my face in the pillow at his pure obliviousness. “Hey! Tell me do I have weird hands?” he asks causing me to giggle harder. 

“Carmen oh my god!” I catch my breath. “You are so oblivious to your hotness, its adorable. No babe, no. Everyone is turned on by your hands, your hands are like…girlporn.” I explained, and his eyebrows raised in confusion, his cheeks bright pink.

“Girlporn.” he repeats, and I nodded enthusiastically with an amused smile.

 “I don’t believe that- I think y’re all makin’ fun of my hands, open the comments” he said and I roll my eyes playfully, obliging and reading some of my favorites out loud.

“Wow- these girls get me, Carm. ‘I know its big’ , ‘I need those hands around my neck-oops.’, ‘do you think he’s as passionate in bed as he is about the kitchen?’ oooo- I wanna reply and say yes to that one” I giggle and he takes my phone from my hand, scrolling. The light on his face accentuated his blush and he bit his lip in concentration as he scrolls.

“Who are all these people” he muttered to himself, causing me to laugh a bit. 

“Your fanclub baby, I told you - people love you, and they love what you do and the passion you have for it” I kiss his shoulder gently. “You haven't even read the fanfiction yet” I giggled into his skin and he looks down at me, offering the phone back quickly. 

“Show” he ordered, and I laughed. “Seriously, honey! Show! I’m frankly a little freaked out.” he said and I took the phone, going back to Tumblr.

“Babe, its nothing to be afraid of, they’re just horny 20-somethings like we are. And you’re like- mega famous? You’re like….Like- the Harry Styles of chefs! Of course like every bitch in culinary school is gonna be after your dick” I said, causing him to laugh.

“Oh my god- you really are something. C’mon, Read to me, about me- er how people think I am?” he chuckled and got comfy in bed, wrapping his arms around my waist and snuggling me into his chest. 

“Mmm so I’m your personal book slash fanfiction reader now?” I said teasingly, resting my head back against his chest and he kissed the top of my head sweetly. 

“Mhmm, and we can stay up as late as we want, I have tomorrow off” he said and I gasped happily, looking up at him with stars of pure joy in my eyes.

“You are?” I squeak with a broad smile and he beamed at my excitement, kissing my lips tenderly and resting his forehead on mine. 

“Mmmhmm, all y’rs t’morrow babygirl, you workin’?” he asked and I withered a bit, realizing I did, in fact, have obligations tomorrow.

“No- well…kinda, I have therapy at 1, and then I have the rest of the day, but my sessions are 3 hours.” I said my eyes fluttering to his lips before meeting his again. 

“Good girl” he said softly before kissing my lips dearly. My tummy flutters, and I feel warmth rush to my core at the name. He doesn’t know how much praise like that does to me. 

I delicately run my fingers through his damp curls, opening my mouth for him and humming in satisfaction at the minty taste that flares across my tongue almost instantly. I looped a curl around my finger absentmindedly, relishing in the taste of him. 

I interlaced our legs together, so every bit of possible flesh was being touched by him, soothingly running my calf along his. He huffs a small laugh into my mouth before pulling away. 

“Are we close enough now baby?” He kissed my jaw gently and nuzzled his face in my neck. I smiled wide, interlocking the fingers of my free hand with his. 

“Nope” I respond jokingly. Abruptly, I was being rolled over on top of him with one swift motion, only needing one of his arms to flip me like a ragdoll. I squeak in surprise, catching myself by straddling his hips with my thighs tightly and wrapping my arms around his middle, my phone lost someplace in the mass disarray of the blankets. 

“There we go angel, can’t be closer.” he said, pleased at his work. He wrapped his arms around my back and tucked his hands under my shirt, rubbing long strokes over my skin. 

“Mmm” I said happily, comfortably tucking my icy hands between his warm muscular back and the mattress “sooo warm” I said, giggling a bit when I sense him shiver slightly at the contact. 

“Jesus babe. Why the fuck are y’r hands so cold” he murmured, gently grazing my back with his short nails causing my eyes to flutter shut in ecstasy

I sighed softly in appreciation “keep doin’ that bear, it feels really good” I expressed, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck comfortably. 

“Course babygirl” he said tranquily, causing a small smile to form on my lips. 

“I love it when you call me names…” I said calmly into his skin, gently kissing his neck. 

“I love it when you call me Bear” he replied lightly, squeezing my hip with the free hand that wasn’t doing the scratching. 

 “Good cause I love calling you Bear, it fits you, baby.” I kissed his jaw adoringly before sitting up slightly, resting my hands on his chest for support. 

“Alexa, lights out bitch.” I said loud enough for the speaker to pick up, before laying back down. 

“Okay, lights out, bitch.” The speaker replied before my tv shut off, as well as my lamps, the only glow in the room being my soft fairy lights. I feel Carms chuckle beneath me and I look down at him. 

“I can’t with you..Y’re not gettin’ out of reading that to me, y’know. I wanna know what people think I’m like” he said and I roll my eyes with a smile. 

“Fine- but I was only sparing you, a lot of the stuff they wrote is really filthy and I know you’re kinda shy” I settle back on his chest, holding my phone to the right of his shoulder where I could see. 

“Now I’m really interested” he snorts and I roll my eyes. 

“This one, is called Yes, Chef” I whispered the title in his ear seductively and nibbled at his earlobe, giggling when I felt his palm come down on my ass in a gentle spank. 

“Cut it with the theatrics and read, honey” he said with a smile 

“Okay! Ok fine. Here’s the summary; ‘Valerie is a 20 year old college student, who got a summer job as a food runner at Chicagos finest restaurant- The Bear, with world famous chef prodigy Carmen Berzatto, things got hot and heavy on her first day in the kitchen.’ ”

I read and he snorts a laugh. “Wow ok so firstly- she can’t even drink, way too young for me, and second- her first day?! Jesus people must think I’m a fuckin’ douchebag. The prodigy thing was a nice touch though.” he said simply and I giggled. 

“Just wait. It’s not supposed to be like…realistic. It’s only a fantasy.” I explained and started reading. A few paragraphs in when it started to hit the plot point, he interrupts. 

“Okay- what?” He laughs and I look up at him, an amused smile on his lips.

“Have you ever seen me wear rings in the kitchen? Ever?” He questions, raising his eyebrows. 

“Oh my godddd” I groaned dramatically, giggling into his chest. “Carmy! Fantasy. The rings have purpose, just wait.” I said and he rolled his eyes, leaning down and kissing the top of my head. 

“Fine. Continue, but this isn’t realistic. Rings are so unsanitary baby I’d never wear them in the kitchen” he rubs over my back gently. 

I continued on getting through a few more paragraphs before my sneaky eyes betrayed me, reading slightly ahead “ooo this is where it gets really good babe. ‘I could barely reply, and he must’ve known that because he lets out an almost mocking laugh, and growls in my ear “like that mm? Little slut loves getting filled out by her boss on her first day?” he spanks me so hard the sound bounces off the walls, and I’m sure there will be a bruise-“ 

“Okay woah- I’d never hit you that hard what the fuck” he said, a bit shocked causing me to giggle. 

“Why not?” I look up at him and his eyebrows furrow in concern. 

“You want me to hit you during sex?” He questioned, his hands going still on my back. I shrug a bit, thinking it over. 

“I’m more of a praise person, but if degradation like that gets you off- I think it’s hot. But…scenes like that where it’s all rough- it’s pretty emotionally draining. I’d just need more aftercare.” I said softly, gently tracing over the triangle on his chest with my forefinger absentmindedly as I spoke. 

“Like…BDSM? You’re into that?” He asked and I put my phone down, nodding a bit. 

“Yeah..I mean- yeah. You aren’t?” I asked, slightly anxious for the answer. 

It didn’t bother me if Carm only wanted to have the same vanilla-esc sex we’d been having, but I would be much more fulfilled sexually if he would try more daring things out with me. 

“I-I’ve never um…done it. Like- not…not anything real like- spanking, sure- but I’ve heard it’s like a whole…culture of stuff, and I don’t- I don’t really understand it.” He said quietly, his cheeks going pink. 

I smiled a bit, leaning in and kissing his lips tenderly, gently cupping his cheeks and rubbing my thumbs along his stubble. Had he even went home, or did he come straight back here? My heart fluttered at the idea of him being so excited to get back to me, he didn’t even bother stopping at home.

“We can learn what you like, together baby.” I said softly when I pulled away, gently stroking his cheekbone with my thumb. 

“What do you like?” He asked, equally as quiet as he gazed into my eyes. I could see all the curiosity behind his icy blues, and it almost made me giddy that I was the one who got to properly introduce him to this world. 

“The part of BDSM I like, is more psychological control than physical. I do like bondage, I love breath play, impact play is a maybe. I like being spanked, I’ve thought about belt play for sure - but I do not want you to slap me across the face or shove me around in like… a mean way. But what really turns me on is the dom-sub dynamic outside the bedroom. I’ve never had like- a real dom but I’ve wanted one. A soft dom... But I don’t do like…hookups, or friends with benefits. I want it intertwined in to my actual romantic life..which can be kinda hard to find. But…I could see you being really good at the soft dom thing.” I expressed, playing with his curls gently as I talked with my cheek flush to his chest. 

“I know what Dom and sub is..but what’s soft Dom? Like- a Dom that isn’t good enough er- like.. Strong enough to be a full dominant?” He questions and I sit up from his chest, my gaze meeting his one more quickly. 

“Baby, no…no. Absolutely not. You are fucking amazing. A soft dom is a preference. Just like I said how I love praises, soft doms use rewards more then punishments. Instead of demanding something out of a sub, like- forcing it out of them, they’ll give an order a precise order, and patiently wait for their submissive to follow it, and then they reward their sub, instead of punishing because they were made to wait or something... That’s an attitude I think you’d take on really effortlessly, just cause of your job and the tolerance it requires” I explained and he nodded a bit, his hands once more continuing to rub soothing strokes along my skin. 

“So…you like being told what to do, but in a nice way?” He questioned, and I nodded with a smile. 

“Exactly. And I love praises when I’m doing something you like. Soft dom’s aren’t about humiliation or degradation, which I don’t think you are. Just from what we’ve done…but- do you like degrading?” I asked and he bit his lip for a moment as he thought. 

“No…no- I dunno…I don’t wanna hurt your feelings baby, isn’t the point of sex to feel good?” He questioned and I gently stroke his cheek, my heart turning to goop at his honesty in the question. 

“Mmhmm, some people feel good when they’re being mean like that though. It’s all consensual, I think if I was into that it would be because I want to take back control, y’know? In a way, being slapped around as a woman- I guess in a situation that you’re controlling it can help us feel…safer?” I shrug a bit “but you aren’t a sadist Carm, we don’t have to do that.” I rest my cheek back on his chest, continuing to rub my fingers over the little curly patch of hair in the middle of his pecs. 

“Well t’me it would just feel…wrong? Like..to call you a slut or something.” I giggled a bit, resting my chin on his chest again to look at him. 

“You can do it in a nice way y’know? I’m talking about like- for instance ‘all you’re good for is being a slut’ I don’t like that. But if you were like ‘That’s it my good little slut you’re doing such a great job for me’ I’d probably love it. Because to me it’s like- If I’m your slut, if I belong to you.. it’s different than being just a slut- I guess I probably have a bit of an ownership kink.” I giggled and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“Where’d you learn how to talk like that Jesus” he muttered, his hands sliding down and squeezing my ass firmly. “I…” he trails off for a moment. 

“What baby? Tell me” I said encouragingly.

“I think..” he clears his throat. “I think I like praise too?” He said his cheeks going flaming red at the admission. “I-is that normal f’r guys t’like that?” He asked quietly, clearly anxious that he’d possibly said something wrong. 

“Yes, yes baby, thank you for telling me, what kind of praise do you like?” I asked, gently tracing the veins along his neck with a feather-light touch. 

He swallows thickly, goosebumps covering his skin. “Um..I- I dunno…but it- I-I guess the idea sounds nice? C-can you give me some examples..maybe?” He asked nervously, his thumbs rubbing circles into the flesh of my bum that he was still holding on to firmly. 

“Mm..well it’s not so much of an example as it is a real thought I just haven’t said out loud.. when we were in the shower and you were all bossy telling me to bend over, that was so fucking hot. I think about it all the time when I’m getting off, it always gets me there.” I smirk, gently playing with his chain between my fingers, tugging lightly. 

His pupils dilated, drinking in my words and I could see that he was contemplating something behind his gaze. “So…you like it when I give you orders like that? Like..Bossin’ you around? I honestly felt kinda bad after” he said softly and I nodded. 

“I love it. Also when you praised me for how well I take your huge cock, that was so good baby.” I kiss his neck, gently nipping the sweet spot below his pulse point and he groans softly, his grip on my ass tightening. 

“Fine… Then get on your back.” He said lowly, his voice husky with lust. Without a second thought, I plop on my back, spreading my legs to make space for him. 

“As you wish.” I said with a satisfied smile and he straddled me, his weight pushing me into the bed and he held himself up by his muscular arms on either side of me, caging me in. His chain dangled in front of my face teasingly, and I took it between my teeth. 

“Fuck you look so hot like that baby” he said softly, causing my proud smile to grow. 

I dropped it from my teeth “I want you to own me Carmy” I said softly, my hands trailing up his muscled chest. 

“Ye’ baby? You wanna be mine?” He kissed my neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. My eyes fluttered shut, my stomach full of a swarm of butterflies, and my core on fire. I gasp in pleasure as he nips the spot on my neck that drives me wild, my chest arching up and becoming flush with his. 

Suddenly, I’m reminded of my current situation. 

“Wait” I said softly and he immediately stopped, pulling away and sitting up slightly. 

“Did I do something?” He asked nervously, carefully pulling down my shirt that had been pushed up in the heat of the moment. 

“No…it’s…” I blushed, covering my face in embarrassment. “It’s my fault- We can’t t’night I’m sorry,” I said shame lacing my voice. I feel his hand around my wrist, gently tugging. 

“Honey, look at me- what’s wrong?” He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. 

“I’m- I’m on my period and…I don’t wanna disgust you so- so no.” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest, staring at the ceiling more annoyed with myself than anything. 

“If it’s a me thing baby- I don’t care. I’ll wear a condom if you want, we can put down a towel. I’m definitely not afraid of a little blood.” He said sweetly, gently resting his hands on my hips and squeezing affirmingly. 

I felt a hard lump in my throat, and tears began pooling at the back of my eyes as my lip begins to quiver. He noticed and his lips curled into a small frown “we- we don’t have to angel, I’m just telling you that I don’t care if you’re bleeding- It’s- it’s fine, princess, we can just cuddle” he said gently and I nodded. 

“I know-“ I whisper, the tears making their way to my lash line and threatening to spill over. 

“Then why’re you cryin’, pretty girl?” He gently swipes his thumb under my eye, collecting the tears that had gathered. 

“Cause” I sniffled. “Cause you’re perfect Carmen.” I cup his cheeks and pull him into a deep kiss, my eyes squeezing shut and more tears falling down my cheeks.

He pulled away gently “don’t cry Angel, please don’t cry” he whispers, brushing away my residual tears and kissing my damp cheeks before resting his forehead on mine. “Do you want to? I want to, baby. But what I want more is what you want.” He whispered, looking in to my eyes honestly. 

I smiled a bit, nodding slightly against him. “Yes” I whisper. “But I just feel…all mushy now- and…I don’t wanna fuck” I said and I saw the disappointment behind his eyes, but of course he didn’t let it show otherwise. 

“I want you to make love to me.” I whispered, kissing his jaw tenderly in a line up to his lips. He smiled softly against my lips, humming softly. 

“Anything you want, princess.” He said softly before kissing my forehead tenderly. 

I smile warmly, my hands trailing up his sides, “let me go get a towel..” I said softly, and he shifted onto his side of the bed, sitting up against the headboard. I sit up and looked at him before getting up, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently. 

“Promise if you get grossed out- we’ll stop? A-and…and that you won’t see me differently.” I said meekly, in frantic need of reassurance. 

“I told you, honey, you could never gross me out, and being intimate while you’re on your cycle won’t change my feelings for you. I love being close to you, nothing could change that” he conveyed sincerely, before bringing my fingers to his lips and kissing gently. 

I nod, “ok,” I said quietly. I got up and padded off to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I used the restroom quickly and prepared myself by wiping down with some baby wipes, even though I’d just showered a few hours prior (you could never be too careful) - and washed my hands before grabbing an old towel from the bathroom closet. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves before opening up the door again. 

“I just- don’t um…finger me. You can touch me but- no- no fingers..please” I said shyly and sat on the bed, plopping the folded towel on the edge. 

“You got it, honey, thanks f’r tellin’ me- now c’mere” he patted his lap gently. I shuffle over on my knees, straddling him and sitting on his thighs gently. 

“Can we…can we turn off the lights?” I ask softly and he nodded. 

“Whatever will make you most comfortable baby, I’m fine with whatever you want.” He kissed my jaw sweetly. 

I leaned down and kissed his neck gently, leaving soft, lingering kisses down and around his throat, trailing down, grazing my teeth along his skin as I did so and kissing his collarbones gently. “You have such a nice chest Carmy” I said softly, kissing the base of his throat sweetly. 

“I could say the same thing about you, can I take this off honey?” He tugged the hem of my shirt gently, and in response I sit up and lifted my arms. He slips the fabric off, throwing it somewhere on the floor and sat back, eyes racking over my frame causing my cheeks to heat. 

“So fuckin’ perfect.” He mutters, his large hands cupping my breasts and thumbs rubbing over my nipples causing them to perk up almost immediately. 

“Do you like my piercings?” I asked softly, one of my hands coming up and cupping his gently. He looked at me as if he was shocked I'd even ask the question. 

“Babe- y’re so fuckin’ hot. You have the nicest tits I’ve ever seen. I’m obsessed with these” he squeezes them together for emphasis, causing me to giggle and I felt all of my tension and insecurity melt away. 

“Yeah? What do you like about ‘em?” I asked with a smirk, amused at his boyish affinity for breasts, running my hand down his forearm and squeezing gently. 

“Fuck yes. So many things. I love how they’re the perfect handful for me, like they fit fuckin’ perfect in my hands honey. And they’re so soft, and so perky, and fuckin’ bouncy- c’mere I need ‘em” he pulls me to him, kissing over my flesh with hot, wet smooches before taking one of my nipples in his mouth and suckling gently, his tongue playing with my jewelry causing me to moan out loudly in pleasure. 

I’d never been ravished this time of the month before- and to be quite honest, it was slightly overwhelming just how sensitive I was. 

I gasped slightly at the feeling of his teeth gazing at the sensitive bud, my chest arching into him and pathetic whimpers falling from my lips. “Carmy - fuck I love your mouth s’much” I grind my hips into his, feeling his length already rock hard beneath me. He moaned slightly into my skin, the vibrations against my nipple sending a crashing wave of pleasure to my core that caused my hips to buck into his and my hand to fall flat to his chest to try and ground myself, his thumping heart resting beneath my palm. 

“Fuck - take these off” I said, tugging at his sweatpants. “I- I don’t wanna ruin them with a stain they’re my favorites” I breathe out, pulling at the waistband more. He chuckles into my skin, pulling away from my nipple with a pop and gazing up at me with dark, lust filled eyes, the blue almost completely swallowed by the black saucers of his pupils. 

“How do you want me angel?” He asked, resting his chin on my breast and not breaking my gaze. His lips were puffy and swollen from the assault on my nipple, glistening with saliva. 

“I-“ I felt my cheeks heat, my stomach flipping with anxiety at the realization of the intimacy I really wanted. I swallowed thickly before continuing. “I- I want you to be on top of me…like…like earlier? When you were pressing me into the bed it…it made me feel safe” I brushed a hand through his curls. 

A small blush heated his cheeks and he smiled a bit. “Yeah princess? Ok..I liked that too. I wanna see y’re pretty face” he said softly, brushing my fringe away from where it had hidden my eyes slightly. 

I kissed his lips tenderly before grabbing the towel, laying it down on my side and smoothing it out. I realized, without the glow of the moonlight pouring in that was cut off by the curtains, it was pitch black on my half of the bed. “Can you- um…open the shade a little?” I ask him when he got up to slip his sweatpants off. 

“Course baby, no one can see us right?” He joked, going over and pulling open the curtain and soft moonlight flooded the whole room, just enough. 

“I think it’s dark enough in here for no one to get a free show” I giggled, laying back and making sure my hips were fully on the towel so I wouldn’t stain my silk sheets. I sat up a bit, pushing my hair behind me so I or he wouldn’t pull it by accident before settling back down, spreading my legs once more for him. 

He stood at the end of the bed, like me, in nothing but his underwear. His large hands curled over his hips as he admired my frame. I blushed, suddenly feeling as naked as I was, and I resisted the urge to cover up my breasts with my hands. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful, Winnie” he said softly, kneeling on the bed and coming up to me, wrapping my thighs around his middle and kissing up from my navel to my neck in long, open mouth kisses, marking me with his saliva. The chill of the air conditioning after each kiss eventually brought on a small shiver that turned into raised goosebumps. 

 “You make me feel so beautiful” I said softly, my eyes fluttering shut and head falling back to the pillow in bliss as he ravished me with adoring kisses over every inch of bare skin. 

“Mm well that’s because you are, you’re the most captivating girl I’ve ever seen” he whispered in my ear gently, his voice laced with a certainty that he believed what he was telling me. 

I swallowed thickly, my breath hitching when he bites down on my neck gently, sucking on the sensitive skin. “I want to be yours Carm. Only yours- please” I breathe out, my arms curling around his back and fingers drawing little patterns over his muscles lightly. He bit down on my skin harder, sucking roughly. 

There will surely be a bruise. 

I moaned softly, one of my hands trailing up to wrap in his soft curls and play with them between my fingers. “Yeah?” He mumbled into my skin, peppering kisses down my jaw “Y’want me to own you, baby? Mmm? Y’want everyone to know that you belong t’me?” He asked gently in my ear, his hot breath and husky voice laced with desire hurling waves of warmth to my core. 

“Please-please own me Carmy. Make love to me” I begged quietly, my voice trembling with want and anticipation. He rested his forehead on mine, nuzzling the tip of his nose against mine sweetly. 

“You’re the only person I’d ever want to make love to, honey” he whispered into my lips before kissing me hungrily. I moan at his words, opening my mouth for him and dragging my tongue across his, needing more of him.

 I lifted my hips when I feel hip pat my bum, and he pulls my panties down to my knees, breaking our kiss to trail kisses up my leg before he drapes it over his side to peel off the barely-there fabric, flinging it to the floor before wrapping my leg securely back around his waist. 

“I need you” I voiced softly, my fingers trailing down his chest to his happy trail, delicately hooking my fingers in his waistband and pulling him free. His length eagerly pops out and slaps against his stomach, making me smile proudly.

 “Do you need me?” I ask quietly, wrapping my fist around his length and stroking him gently, giving him the firm tug he loved. 

He groans, his head falling back slightly and eyes fluttering shut as I run my thumb over his slit, spreading the precum all over his rosy head. “Fuck baby- so bad. I miss your pussy so fuckin much” he breathes out, whimpering and grabbing my wrist when I started massaging his tip firmly with my thumb. 

“Ah-ah-mmm-baby” he whines, gripping my wrist tighter “fuuck- shit Y’re gonna make me cum, s-stop- please- I-I still wanna fuck you” he whimpered and I gently lowered my hand, continuing to do slow languid strokes over the bottom half of his length and I see his muscles relax as if I’d just taken him right off the edge. 

“That’s how it feels when you rub my clit- more or less.” I said and he gently pushes me to lay back, causing me to lose my grip on him. 

“I’d say less considering-“ he spread my lips with his ring and forefinger, dragging his middle finger just barely brushing over my clit causing my hips to buck into his palm and a soft moan to escape my lips. “Takes barely anything t’get you worked up baby, you were chokin my cock- not a fair comparison” he teased with a smirk, leaning in and kissing me warmly. 

I cry out in his mouth when he flicks his finger over the extremely sensitive bud, “see baby? Y’re already so worked up… I love those sexy little noises you make” he hums in my ear, rubbing me in achingly slow circles. 

“Oh- fuck yes- yes-yes Carmy just like that” I whine out, tightening my heels in his back to pull myself closer. He adds more pressure and I gasp out, grinding my hips against his hand, so aching for more friction he barely had to move his fingers to get me off at this point. 

“That’s it honey” he leans down, taking my nipple back in his mouth and my core clenches around nothing which he feels beneath his hand causing him to smile lightly, his tongue flicking over the nipple.

I let out a breathy “ahh” at the wave of pleasure that washes over my core at the action.

“Mmm you’re humpin’ my hand like a horny little bunny right now baby, it’s adorable” he mutters into my skin and I smiled lazily, opening my eyes to look at him. 

“Not my fault your hands are better at the job then mine are” I circled my hips, and he took back over, rubbing quicker but lighter circles into my heat that made my stomach tighten and head fall back on the pillow with a breathy “oh”. My breathing quickens, my core tightening, that familiar building beginning to wash over me and my eyes twisting shut, nose scruching in focus. 

“Y’gonna cum f’me, bunny? Mmm? I know that adorable face baby, you close? Y’gonna cum f’me angel?” He cooed teasingly, kissing my collar bones and nipping gently. I whimper at the use of the new name, my eyebrows furrowed together in pleasure. 

“Ah! mm-mmhmm” I managed to ramble out, my mind going blank other than the overwhelming tightness in every muscle. 

“Hey, hey, lemme see those pretty eyes, princess” he kisses the corner of my mouth sweetly. “Mm? Please Baby? Can I see those pretty eyes while you cum for me?” my eyes fluttered open and met his, seeing him smiling sweetly. “Oh you are such a mess and we’ve barely started angel, such a good girl- my good girl” he said, and with that- I was thrown over the edge into my orgasm full force. 

My hips bucked up, my clit pulsing, warmth flooding every inch of my body as the pleasure overtook me. “Yesyesyesyes” was all that I could manage to get out of my mouth, my breathing ragged. I pulled him to me, kissing him feverishly, the sound of lips the only audible while I rode out my high.

 “I need you” I mumbled between hot, wet kisses. “I need you inside me,” I said, before kissing him again. 

He adjusted my hips, pulling away briefly and ripping open a condom with his teeth that he blindly grabbed from my nightstand he’d left out for us a while ago, and rolled the latex over his throbbing member. “Ribbed huh?” He raised his eyebrows teasingly and I giggled. 

“More fun f’me- especially with a huge cock like yours” I pull him back to me with my legs and chuckled as he lines himself up, holding himself up with one arm. 

“I’m honestly surprised you can take all of it.” He said, nudging his tip in and I moaned, dropping my head back and eyes fluttering shut.  “Fuck” he grunted, pushing in deeper. “Y’re fuckin tight babe- are you sure y’re ok?” He looks up at me and in response I nod, my jaw dropped wide in pleasure and eyes shut lightly, breathing heavy.

“Fuck- oh my god please- please- more” I begged him, grabbing his hand and interlacing our fingers. He gently kissed my forehead as he pushed himself into me to the point our pelvises were flush and I let out a loud whiny cry at the sudden pressure. 

“Yes fuck- I feel so full-s’good” I whine out. He moaned softly as he thrusts out to the tip before going all the way back in, the ribbed tip of his cock brushing right up against my g-spot in a way that makes my hips jerk and I let out a soft “ah”, stars forming behind my eyes. He wrapped his forearms around my thighs, pulling me higher up in his lap and wrapping his arms around my back, holding me over the bed with his hands on my shoulderblades as he started a quick snap of his hips, moaning out as his head fell back. 

“Fuckkk baby. Y’re so fuckin’ good t’me letting me have you like this- shiiit- s’fuckin’ tight baby y’re swallowing my fuckin’ cock right now” he grunted out in absolute ecstasy.

But it fell on deaf ears because this new position he had us in had me swimming through an ocean of pleasure and I couldn’t think of anything other then how deep he was, and how he was hitting spots I’d yet to discover myself or with any other partner. I could feel him in my stomach - and I’d have thought before now, someone so big would hurt, but it was as if we were molded for each other's bodies, he filled me up like a fucking puzzle piece.

“Mm? How’s it feel baby? You ok?” He slows down his movements,  breaking me from my trance and I cupped his cheeks, resting my forehead on his. 

“Carmen” I whisper, my hands trembling with pleasure. 

“What? What- baby, am I hurting you?” He asks his voice laced with worry. 

“No- no. I need you- I- I need you to keep fucking going. Don’t stop. Unless I tell you. To stop. Understand me? I’ve never felt so fucking amazing- I can’t even think baby- I can’t even fucking cum right now- i’m trying to process this level of pleasure, you’re fucking me dumb right now- please, please don’t fuckin’ stop.” I rambled out and stroke his jaw gently and he continues his slow pace. “F-Faster, and harder. Please” I said, kissing him deeply and moaning into his mouth when he did so. 

I pulled away, gasping in pleasure as he thrusted into my gspot, my hand gripping his shoulder and the nails digging in to the skin, causing half moon shapes “there” I squeaked, my eyes screwing shut. He rested my back against the headboard for support, before snapping his hips faste straight into that spot. The only sounds in the room were now his soft satisfied grunts, wet sounds of him drilling into me, the clapping of skin, and short sweet little ‘ah…ah…ah…’ noises spilling from my lips unintentionally at the force of his every thrust. 

Before I could even warn him, my walls are pulsing and fluttering around him wildly as one of the most intense orgasms of my life crashed over me like a tsunami, my hips bucking wildly and thighs quivering uncontrollably. I cry out, my back arching up and my fists white from grabbing the sheets so hard. I could have sworn I felt one of my nails crack under the pressure of my grip.

“Mmmm- cumming- cumming!!” I muttered urgently between heaving breaths when I could finally get a coherent word out, causing him to whimper softly as he continued on the same pace to his release.

 He grips my hips tight enough to bruise, his head falling forward as he chases his own release “fuck- gah- me too babe- ah” he grunted as he spilled into the condom, laying me on the bed gentle as he could in his exhaustion and limply collapsing over my frame as he catches his own breath. 

He lets out a breathy moan as my walls continue pulsing around him as I come down from my own release “holy fuck babe.” He breathes in to my skin, “fuuuuck” he sits up slightly, pulling me in to a heated kiss. I hum softly, my mind still fuzzy but happy he didn’t pull out right away. 

Once he pulled away from the kiss I smiled lazily, utterly fucked out from one round. “That was so amazing Carmy. I’ve never came like that before- like- that was a round three kinda orgasm, you did sooo good Bear, thank you” I said sweetly, playing with his chain gently and adjusting the pendant. 

“It was perfect honey, ‘took me so well” he kisses down my jaw and neck, I hummed in satisfaction. 

“Don’t pull out yet, I wanna stay like this, please” I said softly, running my fingers over his back. He chuckled softly into my skin 

“Okay babygirl, whatever you need” he gently brushed my hair out of my face and cups my cheek. “I like it when we get to be so close like that…when we have sex” he said quietly, bringing a smile to my lips.  “Me too” I whispered, leaning in and kissing him tenderly.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[maryhadalittlehobby]

Recap of my experiences at the IWTV Premiere April 30, 2024

I found out about if from one of the most unlikiest sources. A person I thought was an even bigger fandom lurker than myself😅 I wasn't even gonna ask but I said fuck it, maybe they know someone who knows someone. And they did but said people were under ndas. Initially said they couldn't say but then last minute said they believe they knew where it was going to be.

I didn't say anything because 1) I didn't want them or their friend to get in trouble by spreading the info. 2) possibly spread misinfomation if that wasn't the place and 3) nobody asked lol

I thought I would just show up and see what I could see. In the past I have done this at a Walking Dead premiere. At that event it turned out that they had a lobby full of props that anyone could enter and take pics of. They even had walkers roaming around. Then the kicker-I got into that TWD premiere TICKETLESS by pure accident! So why not fuck around and find out again.

I put on a "closet cosplay" of Claudia in the upcoming yellow dress using all stuff I already owned and headed out.

I walked up to Mckittrick hotel, asked if there was a standby or waiting list but the person said they didnt know. There was a lot of important looking people surrounded with guards double checking lists and whatnot so I gave up that angle and loitered around with the other 15 or so fans who found the location too hoping to just see a glimpse of our favs.

Didn't have to wait to long as one by one they started showing up. The first one I noticed was Delainey and she slayed in that black sheer number. She was soft-spoken and a little shy but took her time and signed/took pictures with all the people who were there. Not sure if she knew I was cosplaying Claudia but she did compliment my contacts.

I had all my pics on motion video so if I didnt like the actual pic there was a few frames of vid to pick from as well. The actual video is a bonus! Too bad I can only link 1 video here but a lot of vids are on my IG in the highlight. Same name!

Then Sam came. As soon as he exited the car the wind blew his hair back and I lost my train of thought. He is pretty and his eyes are a lighter shade of blue than they look in pics. Also he is blonder! And so slim! The suit they had him in was a fun nod to vintage suits.

He too complimented my contacts! In the vid he is asking me questions about them but as soon as I take the pic another fan was yelling his name and grabbed his attentionl. Not mad lol I probably would have gotten less coherent the more I talked😅

Jacob showed up soon after-all smiles. What a cutey. He was damn near falling in the garbage they had us lowly non invites next to trying to contort this way and that to sign and take pics. Again-so small! And he too complimented my contacts😁 if the suit would have been properly tailored( the pants looked to long!) It would have been slay

Not gonna lie I kinda blacked out after meeting Sam so my memory with jacob is fuzzy.

Assad and Luke arrived together shortly after but got whisked away pretty quickly so I didn't get a pic with them. Eric was the very first to arrive and despite me being there I missed him too.

But I was sooo happy getting the unholy family little else mattered. I contemplated waiting after but I was BUZZING with adrenaline and starving lol. My fandom plug said she did come after and met EVERYONE and their momma. Cast and crew alike and they were still happy to engage even after their long night❤️

Finally Fang Gangers, please do not repost/ reupload/ or screenshot anything of mine as your content. Linking back / sharing is ok.

🖤🧛🏾‍♀️

[ofstarsandvibranium]

My Sweetheart: Part 5

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You purchase a vintage sweetheart bracelet from an antique store and with it, comes the spirit of the woman who owned it. Through her, you go on an interesting journey to find out what happened to her old lover.

Series Masterlist

During your next shift, Kamala went to the animal shelter you worked at and picked up several volunteer forms. The young Avenger was excited about bringing herself and her superhero friends to help around your workplace.

It was a week later when she brought back the forms and as you were going through them, you were surprised to see Bucky had signed up. You assumed that Kamala convinced him to volunteer.

Well, here's to hoping this goes how she hopes it does.

_________________

After the forms were overlooked, each person who signed up was sent an acceptance email and a date of their orientation. The roster was: Kamala, Kate Bishop, Yelena Belova, America Chavez, Cassie Lang, Scott Lang, Scott's friends Luis, Kurt, and Dave; and lastly, Bucky Barnes.

Eventually, said group arrived Wednesday morning at the front desk. Your coworker, Mikayla, was starstruck. Yes, you told her who would be volunteering there, but that still didn't minimize the feeling of excitement she felt when they arrived.

"Holy shit, this is happening," she stares wide-eyed at the group before her.

You pat her shoulder, "Should I do the orientation?"

Mikayla slowly nods, "Yeah. I think so."

You snort and step forward, "Hi, everyone! I'm Y/N. I help oversee the volunteers that work at the shelter!" you go into your spiel about the shelter, what animals you take care of, some of the tasks everyone is expected to do, etc.

You finish off with asking who'd like to work in what areas of the shelter. Kamala immediately raises her hand, and Bucky's, for when you ask about the cat area. Yelena also volunteers and the three of them follow you to the cat room.

"So we do have a few kittens here that we just received a few days ago, but most of our residents are adult cats."

One particular kitten is crying out, which catches your attention. You turn to its cage and chuckle, "Alright, I hear ya, buddy," you unlock the cage and pull a small white kitten out.

"This is one of our newer residents. His name is Alpine and, don't tell the other cats this, but he's currently my favorite."

The small white cat climbs out of your arms and up your shoulder. Kamala is practically melting at the spot, "Oh my gosh! He's sooo cute!"

You nod, "He is. He was also born with three legs instead of one, but that obviously doesn't stop him. He's a determined little guy."

You look at Bucky, who's softly smiling at the cat. He reaches out and gently pets Alpine behind the ears, "Hey, buddy," he murmurs. He then looks at you, "Can I hold him?"

"Of course," you pluck Al off your shoulder and gently place him in Bucky's arms. Alpine doesn't hesitate to climb up Bucky's shirt.

Bucky winces, "Watch the claws, pal," but he smiles as Al continues to meow.

Yelena snorts, "He likes you, Barnes, probably because he knows you two are alike," she nods at his vibranium arm.

You proceed to inform the three of their duties with the cats, how to clean the cages, how much food to give, the personality of each cat, etc.. Throughout that time, Bucky listened while also stroking Alpine's fur.

While Yelena and Kamala are playing with two other cats, you go up to Bucky, "He really likes you," you gesture to Al who's now asleep in Bucky's arms.

"He's a good one."

"Kamala says your a cat person?"

He shrugs, "I suppose. I like to feed the stray cats I see, pet them if they let me. I like dogs too, but I guess I like cats better because they're more...mellow?"

You snort, "Not all of them are mellow, but I get what you're saying."

Bucky shifts from one foot to the other, "So, uh, is Dot still with you?"

You sigh, twiddling with the sweetheart bracelet on your wrist, "Yeah. She's," you pause to chuckle, "stubborn."

Bucky snorts, "Yeah. She's always been a bit stubborn, even back then when we were together."

"Birds of a feather stay together, I suppose." He raises a brow at you and you explain, "From our short interaction, I can tell you're just as stubborn. You don't want to help me, that's fine, but honestly, this is more about Dot herself. Help me to help her cross over."

"How?"

You run a hand over your face, "Dot says you're unhappy."

"I'm not!" Bucky raises his voice, causing Alpine to stir from his sleep.

You give Bucky a pointed look and open Al's enclosure so he could place him onto his bed. Once he's safely back in, you turn back to Bucky.

"There isn't anything that you think would make you happier?"

Someone to call my own. A peaceful place for me to live. A family. A chance to grow old.

"Not really," Bucky replies.

You scoff, "I call bullshit."

Bucky's jaw clenches, "Listen here, sweetheart, you don't know me. You don't know what I want or need."

"I don't, but Dot does. Bucky, come on. I don't get why you're so apprehensive about this. This benefits Dot and you."

He leans back against a wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He glances at Kamala and Yelena, who stopped playing with the cats to watch you and him.

Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you out of the cat room and into the hallway, "If I agree to this, what would it entail?"

You shrug and scratch your head, "I dunno. I guess it really depends on what you think would make you happier right now."

Bucky doesn't know you. You're a stranger, but he doesn't get any weird vibes from you. You seem like a genuine person, but he could never be too sure. He can't just tell you his deepest desires. Not yet, anyway.

He sighs, "I guess, a companion?"

"Like a pet or a person?"

He shrugs, "Both? I don't know. I mean, I guess a pet would be nice?"

You roll your eyes, "Okay, well, I guess it's a good thing you volunteered to work here for the month. We'll see how you really feel about having a pet and if you think you can really take care of one."

With that you turn your back to him and enter the cat room again. Bucky watches you through the window as you talk with Kamala and Yelena. He's sure they're berating you about what you and he discussed.

Bucky groans and runs a hand through his cropped hair. He then feels a cool sensation on his shoulder, but it's not alarming. Instead, it brings comfort.

"Thanks, Dot," he murmurs before also heading back inside the cat room.

[homelanderbutbig]

Hey HBB! We've not really interacted but just wanted you to know that you are obviously so sooo sweet and I love your art and the energy you bring to this lovely little side of the fandom <3 I'm so sorry you are dealing with unknown health issues, that is so scary and defeating...I myself am disabled and chronically ill, though I have the privilege of knowing my condition. But I remember what it was like experiencing symptoms when no one knows what it is or what to do. Oftentimes they don't even take you seriously :( Please take care of yourself as best you can, even if it's just a small thing per day, and find solace in knowing that there are people who love and care about you. Somewhere out there are the answers you need, and it's so hard to find them, but you will, i'm sure of it. I'm in the Cozy Corner with the others and we are all so smitten with you, even those of us that don't really know you, like me. Hang in there bud, things will get better in time, and if you ever want to chat, my dms are open <3

I am not one with a mastery of words but I wanted to send out my most genuine thanks, to you and to everyone else out there. We all have our own struggles that we deal with in silence, and sometimes just knowing that there are friends out there who support you can bring a little bit of sunshine into your life. I will never not be appreciate of everyone I meet on here. I like to write and draw fluff because it makes me happy and helps me forget my worries, and I hope I can do the same for others too. Thank you very much again, and I wish you nothing but the best. 🫂🫂

Here is a teeny doodle for you. Please make sure to hug your Homelander because he's had a rough day and needs you to wipe away his tears. ❤️

[maul-of-shame]

Hey hi hello there, my beloved chaos gremlins!!! 🌸✨🍇 Welcome to Fanfics & Updates n°1!!

Sooo instead of just yeeting random fic updates into the void like a feral hobbit hoarding second breakfast, I figured I’d try something organized for once (I know, shocking). Behold: weekly recaps! A single, cozy little post where I can scream about new fics, updates, and whatever unhinged writing decisions I’ve made this week.

And before you ask—no, this won’t be just LOTR fics. My brain is a multi-fandom cryptid that wanders wherever the vibes take it. 🖋️✨ One week I’m deep in Middle-earth, the next I’m spiraling into gothic horror or something even worse (looking at you, unhinged AUs).

Also!! Winter is finally getting lost, which means I’m fully back in my Persephone era—flowers, soft pastels, a lil’ underworld edge, and probably eating something I shouldn’t!🌺🍷🌿

Anyway!! Grab a snack, settle in, and let’s get into the updates!

"Love, Lies and Stolen Berry Pies": An Aragorn/Arwen fanfic.

Summary: Arwen knew, with absolute certainty, that her pie had been perfect.

Not simply good. Not merely acceptable. Not even just delicious.

No—this was a work of art.

Golden, burnished crust, fluted with meticulous precision. The filling—rich, dark summer berries, their juices thickened just enough to cling to the tongue and hold shape for each slice, sweetened with honey and the faintest whisper of spice. Each ingredient had been chosen with care, each step performed with the grace and patience of an artist at her craft.

Even her father, Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, revered scholar, healer of near-unmatched skill, and a man notoriously difficult to impress, had declared her pies excellent. Arwen had been so certain of her success this afternoon that she had not even hesitated to leave her latest masterpiece cooling on the wide stone sill of the kitchen’s open window.

Minutes. She had turned her back for minutes.

And now— She stood in the doorway, arms crossed, brow arched as she surveyed the clear violation before her.

A slice was missing…

Chapters: 1/2, Chapter 2 will have smut!

"The Greatest Elven War for Attention": An Elrohir, Elladan & Reader fanfic.

Summary: You should have known what you were getting into when you agreed to be roommates with Elladan and Elrohir. Identical twin brothers, effortlessly charming, with an infuriating talent for getting under your skin in equal measure. You had expected shared laundry mishaps and late-night study sessions, but no one warned you about the sheer competitiveness of Elrond’s sons.

It started subtly. A small shift in the force of the apartment dynamics.

One morning, you shuffled into the kitchen, still groggy from pulling a near all-nighter, and were met with a sight that should have set off alarms in your sleep-deprived brain. Elladan and Elrohir, standing shoulder to shoulder by the coffee machine, locked in a silent but deadly battle of wills.

“Do you want coffee?” Elladan asked smoothly, already reaching for your favorite mug with the confidence of a man who knew he was about to win some unspoken contest...

Chapters: One-shot.

"The Library's Smallest Guest": An Elrond/Galadriel Fanfic.

Summary: For a while, all was still. Only the faint creak of settling wood and the occasional rustle of paper disturbed the peace. It was the kind of quiet Elrond cherished, a world where only knowledge and thought existed, where the weight of expectation momentarily lifted.

Then, the door slammed open.

“Elrond! Help me!”

He startled so violently that his book slipped from his lap and hit the floor with a heavy thud. His breath caught as he looked up to see Galadriel standing in the doorway, golden hair disheveled, blue eyes wild with urgency. Her dress was rumpled, her cheeks flushed, and she was trembling.

“What?” he managed, still halfway between the quiet world of ink and paper and the sudden storm of his friend’s arrival.  

Chapters: One-shot.

Updates:

Oki so now the updates section!!

So with my exams and all, I am currently a bit behind when it comes to requests, updates and more. I currently have 7 requests, 5 just need a last re-read and minor editing.

"Gilded Choices: The Reaping of Stars", my elrondriel Hunger Games fic (+200k words) will be back this very sunday with a new chapter!

"Of Tides and Sorrow", the Witcher/Elrondriel fic will also be updated next week!!

I know the recent requests for elrondriel fluff prompts were liked so I'll add them to a work on AO3, so everyone can be able to see them in order and also find them without having to search everywhere on my blog for them!!!

[dragonshoardofworks]

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Danny Phantom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jazz Fenton, Jack Fenton/Maddie Fenton Characters: Danny Fenton, Jazz Fenton, Maddie Fenton, Jack Fenton, Sidney Poindexter, Vlad Masters, Ember McLain, Desiree (Danny Phantom), Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Nicolai Technus, Original Human Character(s), (they're Vlad's Parents), Lunch Lady (Danny Phantom), Harriet Chin Additional Tags: No One Knows AU, Halfa Fentons AU, Halfa | Half-Ghosts (Danny Phantom), Temporary Character Death, Electrocution, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Bullying, (they're all the ghosts' demises), Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied Death Threats, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Panic Attacks, Hints of Jack/Maddie/Vlad, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, No Beta we die like the Fentons, Sorry everyone this fic just got split into a series, it'll make everything more smooth, at least i hope so, Trigger warnings in the notes of each chapter, Work Title Changed, Danny's POV, Time Skips, (just a small one) Series: Part 1 of Phamily Business

Chapter 4: The Rise of Dawn

Title changed and made into a series just in time for the last chapter of this part! Yey!!

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Dunno if I'll be able to finish the rest as soon as it seemed for this last chapter (the part was already ready, but in the previous chapter Vlad was behaving like the drama diva that he is and had slowed down the process for three whole years, sooo... yeah.)

Hope to type ya soon (anyway)!

(ﾉΦωΦ)ﾉ*.✧

[dearweirdme]

I saw your recent comment on @peachjagiya’s ask. So true. It’s crazy how people think we just moved past that. It makes me wonder what the narrative will be in a couple of years. Will people just believe it all to have been true? Or like that ask will people see it as something that was a small weird thing to have happened?

Hi anon!

Ah, it is so hard for newer fans to fully understand how things felt when they happened. I no longer consider myself really new, but I still remember being new and having to dig through the fast amount of BTS and Taekook information and content. There’s still stuff I know I’m unable to fully understand.

Those of us who were there when the Paris walk happened know what mayhem it caused for months. I recently tried to look through my tags on it.. and even those don’t fully do justice. The whole fandom went in investigation mode. New insights dropped every hour. Debunks and complex theories had a grasp on everyone. There were ao many tkkrs lost and anxious. So many actually left and a lot of people were keeping a close eye on everything Tae and Jennie did for weeks. In the direct days after sooo many were expecting things to go further. For him to join her in Cannes (which was ofcourse why it happened when it did). In the months after every time Tae left SK people were afraid another Taennie sighting would happen and they would track their flightscedules obsessively (only to find out Tae and her never actually met again and in fact at times their comings and goings would happen just when the other left a place again 😂). And it keeps popping up.

Even now, a couple of months shirt from it having been two years… and it’s very obvious that even if you think they were real then they are not now… it keeps coming back. Because it’s the one thing that to many solidifies that Tae and Jk aren’t together. Jkkrs and non-shippers use it against us. If closeting was part of it, it partly worked.

But we’re kinda tired of it. People have mostly made their minds up and no new information will (probably ever) drop. So it’s always the same old conversation.. and many of us with our tags full of it just don’t really feel like discussing it in great detail. I don’t think it’s real. From a business perspective (marketing, narrative control) it has a place in conversation at times, but the realness of it for me personally has been discussed aplenty. I’d much rather talk about all the ways in which Tae and Jk are cute… and how I MISS THEM 😫.