#Of how i am or bc of our situation? If he thinks im wrong or say something stupid he'll say so straight up. Im used to people being too

[mrfoox]

Uh.... Love how.... Instead of gently reassuring me or such whenever I say something really bad about myself Oliver just sigh loudly/grunt and then go to argue against me and finally gently tell me the opposite :')

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my coworker to stop giving me unsolicited advice?

this is really low stakes and petty workplace stuff, so sorry in advance lol

i work in the warehouse section of a furniture store. i work only 3 days a week due to disability. the coworker in question is a minor who has been working here a couple weeks longer than i have. i am an adult (almost 21) and this coworker is a highschooler (i think a senior but im not sure).

i am the only afab person in the warehouse area, though i am trans and use they/them pronouns. some of the other coworkers i have in the back are very.. condescending sometimes, but theyve either stopped or i can avoid them.

(examples: one of them wont let me talk if i try to have a conversation with him. he will active speak over me if i try to have a conversation with him. he does this to all the afab workers, but none of the amab ones so i avoid talking to him. another used to take what i was doing out of my hands and do it for me if he thought i was doing it wrong. he has since stopped, but i avoid asking him questions because he gets really condescending about answering them.)

this coworker in specific really grinds my gears for very silly and petty reasons (music taste, made a big deal abt my pronouns, leaving piles of cardboard that he wont let anyone touch while hes working but will leave before taking care of it, etc.) but recently he’s been giving me advice on how to do things that i am already doing.

for example, we recycle a specific kind of box to get reused by our shipping facility so they get set aside instead of put in the cardboard crusher. i will gather the cardboard from upstairs to take down, and while i am putting the specific boxes on the pile to be recycled he will pull me aside to remind me where the boxes go.

just today, i was opening and unboxing some containers and putting them in their place on the warehouse shelving. i was through more than half of the box when he came up to me and asked if i knew where the containers were supposed to go and then pointed them out to me.

i try my best to give this guy the benefit of the doubt because it feels really weird to have this one sided beef with a minor, but ive started getting icy with him because its frustrating when most of our interactions are him telling me how to do that things im already doing. next time he tried to give me advice, im debating telling him something along the lines of “appreciate the help, but i’ll ask you a question if i need help”

i think i might be the asshole bc i might be reading too much into the situation and he might be trying to genuinely help me (seeing as i work very few hrs a week and he probably works more than i do). but at the same time, i dont need someone who’s been working only barely longer than i have telling me how to do my job.

WIBTA if i asked him to stop?

What are these acronyms?

[who-the-fuck-knows-blog]

edit: i wrote this like an hour or two after the episode. was in a really dark place. am only in a slightly LESS dark place. just want to emphasize that i dont actually. blame. djenkins or like. idk. i cant tell how i feel because i don’t want to blame creatives for the effect their narratives have on me personally. i dont want to make a bigger deal than is necessary i just dont know what is right and wrong in this scenario. sorry. ive seen people saying blaming him or talking about this is bad. and im just in The Horrors with my mental illnesses so i’m paranoid i’m doing something wrong here. I’m not saying djenkins meant for this to be the result. i dont think he would at all believe that. i think he meant for the best to happen. its not his fault or responsibility that i feel this way and that others feel this way. i’m mentally ill. i am not the arbiter of truth or sanity. i don’t want to delete this because its a marker of a vent/emotion/situation i went through. but it does not reflect my current beliefs entirely.

christ alive maybe think about shit for a minute like. to be like “i like when mentor figures die so i wanted izzy to die for eds growth bc he was like a mentor to ed”. ed spent the entirety of the first two episodes abusing the fuck out of izzy, izzy nearly killed himself. izzy got his leg cut off.

and then we think “okay. well clearly, izzy isnt coping well because theres no way that was his actual fault” yk. like sane rational people who have been victims of abuse in the past and used similar coping mechanisms to protect ourselves and our images of our abusers because we loved them.

we think “the show can’t possibly be telling us that izzy deserved it.” and then. he says “i provoked you. its my fault you attacked me.” and its not criticized or shot down or retaliated against. he deserved to get abused because he was harsh and wanted blackbeard to exist because without him he felt unimportant to ed. because he needed that closeness with ed but was denied because of their lifestyle.

what you end up with isn’t a mentor figure who went through the horrors and then died after a fruitful life. you end up with a man who was severely traumatized, suicidal, drinking to cope, telling the other man that serially abused him that it was okay because he was asking for it. a man who was just discovering he could be safe now dying immediately after.

i dont care if thats how redemption arcs or character arcs are supposed to go, if you are supposed to give this character everything and then kill him because his purpose was served. that message will cause so much harm to a lot of people. it already has.

please can someone talk to me or something. engage with me. i dont feel good. im feeling really really bad.

[celestie0]

MAKE THEM FUCK LIKE RABBITS IN TBE NEXT CHAPPPPPPP. Like wdym bae u got the athlete stamina? Physical touch is your love language? You've been dying to touch me? my cooter won't let him leave till I've had my fill (pun intended) 😀😀😀😀

Ok jokes aside just finished reading the recent chap + the headcanons and oh god I have THOUGHTS. Kai and his loser clique can all rot, leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are. I'm not a film major but in somewhat similar humanities field and personally I could relate so much to that scene of a group of guys putting a lone girl in such an intimidating situation just to "teach her a lesson" because they consider themselves experienced. Like go to hell. Kudos to her for immediately slapping that cunt and putting kai in his fucking place.

And as for our main couple oh my god 😭 yn you broke my heart by what you said to gojo (I can't imagine how terrible she'd feel once she finds out his past like it's just so heartbreaking to have lost so much and have to hear that you have it easy. Ily bby toru), but watching her accept that she was wrong and how they both communicated really warmed my heart. Fucking finally he admitted he likes her and wants to be with her. Now go be w your girl!!

Thank you for this chapter!😙 it was well worth the wait and I've been in such a good mood ever since reading it. Thank you for your efforts 🫂

like rabbits 😭😭😭🤣🤣 i am unfortunately putting gojo in celibacy camp for next chap bc he needs to master abstinence🧍🏻‍♀️it’s a 7-day program so we’ll see if he survives /joking. YOUR COOTER COMMENT HAS ME DYING

“leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are”

just exactly ditto. exactly this. i’ve no words to add, u 100% slayed w this. kiss 💋

im happy (but also not very happy) that u resonated w the bar scene. obv not so happy bc i hate that you’ve had to go through that but i rly hope it was some sort of representation for what you’ve had to face :””) i swear men who try to sabotage women’s careers bc of their own insecurities r the scum of earth

AND YES aaa reader’s dialogue in the argument 💔💔 it was so out of line but w everything she’s been dealing w i think it was just a cumulation of all the build up. it felt real to write that part bc ive been in situations where i’ve really liked men who just cannot show up for me the way i need them to, and just turning them into a “villain” was the easiest way to get over them, and i think that’s what was going through reader’s mind in that moment :”) but yes she apologized n i don’t think satoru holds it against her all that much bc he understands her well, but oof yea big chance the regret is gonna bite her down the line

SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE BACK BB i’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter n you’re in a good mood after reading it omg 🥺💕 thank u so freaking much for the ask

[dashielldeveron]

omg i loved your soulmate troupe… im so inspired by it but i have a question?? How do you find such great like “big boy words” like anachronistic and such and perfectly incorporate them in without sounded pompous :(( i admire your vocab its so beautiful

this is a really interesting question, and i'm not sure i know the answer to it!!! speculation/advice under the cut

i think, in the context of soulmate trope, it may be that the reader character is established as this observant, detail-oriented person who analyses/notices a bunch of mundane things, so it makes some sense that that sort of person would have a wider vocabulary in order to describe things better. like, try picturing yaoyorozu using the word mellifluous versus kaminari using it. it would sound weird and pretentious for kaminari to use words like that, because he's established to not be too bright and doesn't use that sort of language in general. yaoyorozu, though, we know she has to have a wide body of knowledge to utilise her quirk the best she can, so it would make sense that she's come across that word and may casually use it. so it may not seem pretentious for soulmate trope bc it feels in character for the POV reader character.

i think the probable, most comprehensive answer is that i've just been doing it for a long time. been reading a lot. been writing a lot. which i know is not a fun answer, because it's better to have immediately applicable advice.

here's my best attempt regardless, though:

if you're wondering if anything you yourself wrote is pretentious bc you use bigger words, it's probable not actually pretentious. it's your brain trying to kill you. you've looked at your work a lot, so you're not seeing it with fresh eyes; you're seeing your writing process behind every sentence. you're most likely fine.

2) our current literacy crisis involves a strange undercurrent of an aversion to "purple prose," which, normally, means language so flowery and over-the-top that it makes a work incomprehensible, but with the current literary scene has been watered down to mean something along the lines of "heavy description and figurative language." which can include using vocabulary we don't encounter in everyday life. people can tell you it's cringe to use them. it's not, and even if it were, cringe is dead, and we are free.

3) nothing wrong with being pretentious!!! we are alive!!!! indulge in the senses and in luxuriant descriptions!!!!!

4) specificity in language is good. it's not pompous if it's the most specific, appropriate word for the situation. it communicates the ideas better

5) some words may seem pretentious because of the story's context. has the story established that it only uses fifth-grade-level words? then of course it would feel out of place and pretentious when there's suddenly a five-syllable word.

6) as for finding words, well. besides reading, there's lots of ways to find different vocabulary. my dumbest but most effective advice: look up lists of vocabulary words that seventh graders are supposed to be quizzed on weekly. you want lists that are divided into, like, fourteen units, bc that means it's a year-long endeavour and designed to amp up in difficulty. yes, you'll know like 97% of the words, but there'll be some weirdly specific terms thrown in there. keep track of the ones you've never heard of or the ones you want to re-cement in your vocabulary. so, we start with seventh grade bc it's not intimidating, bc it's for fucking seventh graders. but keep going all the way up to 12th grade. all those words you collected--put them in a planner or daily calendar with their definitions; commit to learning one word a day and using it in conversation that day. i am slightly embarrassed to say i did this for years. nowadays, you can buy word-a-day tearaway calendars, but i liked having the customisation for words i knew i wanted to learn. i remember picking a bunch of old-fashioned, sexual-adjacent words for like two weeks in a row bc i wanted to write a loki fanfic.

anyway. i hope any shred of that helps lol. and wow i'm really flattered that you'd ask me about it, gosh!!!! thank you so much for your question and for reading my silly stories!!!! xx.

[offmychest-official]

i am incomprehensibly angry today. my mother and her fucking republican boyfriend are out getting a dog and i cannot TELL you in writing how stupid of a decision this is.

we have a cat. i love him very much but he has some medical issues. he has a tendency to itch at his face, presumably due to the buildup on his chin and poor cleanup of his food dishes.

we are poor. we had to hold off his vet visits for about an entire year and a half because my mother didn't have the money. it was REALLY bad; he used to have a bunch of gashes near his eyes damn well constsntly because of how terrible and itchy he was all the time. we got him to the vet in early september and his meds have helped him. a lot!! hes okay now & all healed up.

but the vet visit was very very expensive and my mom could only afford it with some kind of vet card? idk but my point is vet visits are very expensive and we can't afford to take our cat there regularly.

and suddenly in comes my fucking mother off to get a puppy because idk her boyfriend wanted it So so bad because yeah? geniunely ridiculous.

she forgets to wash the cat's chin repeatedly, which is for his itchiness. the reason WHY he was sick was because my mother apparently never cleaned his food dish in the four years of taking care of him once. 2 of our previous cats were too obese to clean themselves properly, and our elderly cat had so much buildup on her bottom that when i think about it it makes me want to fucking throttle my mother. she adopted four cats on complete impulse, which led to us inevitably giving them away when no landlord wanted to deal with the wear and tear of having 4 cats. neither my mother or her shithead want to play with buddy for the required time and i can't do much about it because i'm at school all day and when i get home im exhausted and hungry. our cat is also fairly anxious and he DOES NOT like new things; he growls at the mailman and runs away whenever i come home from school.

and now, with all of these problems she wants to get a fucking PUPPY with our anxious adult cat? EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME???? Do you not see a flaw here. Is there not something wrong here. Hello. Can anyone hear me

she had the balls to act surprised when i had an immediate negative reaction to her announcing the dog to me in the car. ok. i don't get a say in it bc im her daughter. not like i live here or anything. nahhhh that'd be so crasy

im not even against the idea completely as long as i have my own space where the dog isn't allowed to go! i like dogs theyre silly! but my mother is the type to buy from backyard breeders because its a cheap animal. i doubt she even knows about FIP or bird flu or ANYTHING like that. that dog is not going to be fucking trained or socialized properly i know it in my BONES. and im not even sure she knows how to introduce the cat to the dog. where the hell is my cat going to stay while they get used to each other? my room has poisonous plants in it and the office is almost completely empty, i wouldn't want him staying in there for a long period of time. my cat can't stay in my room especially since i'm gone in the mornings and my mother works while i'm at school, so there's nobody to supervise him. he eats plants and the plants will make him sick/kill him possibly

do we even have enough money for a dog bed? dog toys? for it to be sterilized? enough time for it to play safely? time for it to walk outside? proper training? i bet you the answer is no. lmfao

this entire situation is just so fucking STUPID and irresponsible. i will admit that i do have a hand in this, and i'll try to rectify it more especially with my cat's chin wipe thing. but i have to deal with this fucking shit until i move out in 3 years. what happens to our cat when im gone? is he going to turn into another Lola? completely inable to manage himself because my mother is too distracted with the dog? will she get MORE dogs like she did with our cats?

im going to kill everyone in this HOUSE!!!!!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU SERIOUSLY AND FUCK YOU EVEN MORE FOR NOT TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT IN ANY DEPTH

.

[havocspiral]

do you have any evidence about shittyclive being a groomer? genuine question

im glad you asked because he literally groomed me!

note for all of this i am going to be using he/him, i don't keep up with him enough to know exactly what pronouns he uses, if its anything different please tell me and ill update this post. he may be a groomer but im not a twat. also please be patient because my chronological memory is Horrible so i may not remember things in the correct order, but i have all of this written down and i Know that all of this happened

this all happened bc of a server i made called DAAC in ~May 2020 - that's where i met neil and also his friend K (not gonna name em but iykyk), along w a few other people. most of the ppl in that server were obsessed w sexualising me, especially neil. im not abt to put my age on the internet but it was. yknow. not fun, and everyone in that server knew my age btw because i trusted them and did not think that all This would happen (he also drew nsfw stuff and showed it to me)

anyway to cut a very long and unimportant story short, dated a guy, he was crazy, broke up w him and he stalked me march 2021 to ~july 2021, in that time neil attempted to pose as a sort of "protector" and in his OWN WORDS a father figure. side note my stepdad died in feb 2021 and i grieved too much and he dropped a frankly quite ass song abt it but i digress. yeah we got really close knit we were a "father-son" duo and when i tell you the ONLY THING HE TALKED ABOUT WAS SEX i wish i was kidding but our only topics were him telling me abt what he wants to do to his man of the month or how hes suicidal and AGAIN, absolutely inappropriate at the age i was. this lasted for so long that i began to break down entirely and becoming suicidal, also resorting to drinking and hurting myself, even going to crisis teams along with missing a LOT of school because i had become entirely dependent on him. basically he had me on a leash and was using me as a crisis hotline AND a sex hotline. i tried to cut him off multiple times in an emotional state and this obviously wasn't the best thing i couldve done but i literally saw no other choice. oh also during this time he suggested i have DID and i had a counselor for my stepdads death and. god damn he may be a weirdo but he was correct there ill give him that (he did also try to recount my trauma to work out how i worked as a system which. i shouldnt even have to explain how thats just odd)

(another thing i just remembered he sent inappropriate pictures to me and my friend, ill put her recount of it at the end of this)

one day i spoke to K, realised that was i was doing was wrong and attempted to talk about the situation with neil to which he was like. oh yeah i cant do this anymore bye and when i went to tell K he did the same. this was when i was in school which was rare, i just entirely broke down (also worth mentioning every time he told me about being suicidal i mentioned getting a therapist but he said he couldn't and i would also get all shaky and sob uncontrollably and basically be unable to function THATS HOW BAD THE DEPENDENCY WAS) and i had to be picked up bc it was that bad

i texted his instagram begging for at least and explanation and that i loved him and wanted to talk to him again (<- so manipulated it was insane) and he was like yeah but only on weekends and i felt such STRONG RELIEF and then when i went to sleep he went sike lol bye

remember the bf from earlier? yeah he faked his identity multiple times so i (at the time) was used to keeping tabs on people since. stalking. and i didn't want the guy to get the jump on me. so i kept tabs on neil for a bit, which i do regret and am sorry for, and one day he just disappeared? and honestly? i celebrated. also the ex from earlier faked his death multiple times so neils attempt at faking it this way was a dig at that specific incident. it didnt really work because i think about a day ish later he admitted to my friend (the same one from earlier, ill call her V) that he did it and wasnt dead

then he "apologised" to me and while i may not have screenshots for the most part he mentions what he did in the apology which is just. outright admission FROM HIM about what he did. he also admitted the apology was a total lie on his blog which i find funny because he frames it as a "gotcha" when i didnt even accept the apology?

also found out from an anonymous person who knew neil that apparently hes meeting up w people and also is violent w his friends which. ew

ok heres the evidence

(censored parts are for my own safety)

[tadpolesonalgae]

ive seen the argument that rhys killed the winter court children thrown around so much but thank you for saying that bc i was starting to think i read it wrong. kallias only agrees to help the night court when it's made clear that rhys didnt kill the children and that amarantha had another mind reader. and they even become allies because kallias and viviane are at some celebration at the housw of wind later in the books right? if it had been rhys none of that would happen.

there are a lot of reasons you can not like rhysand he was always meant to be a morally grey character (imo sjm made him too nice actually) but im always confused when people keep using this reason because it might be the only one he was proven innocent

i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand like the whole thing with the ic is that they all did terrible things but with a reason and she's just a bitch for a lack of a better word

i also felt both az and rhys were justified in how they treated her, i mean it was tough to read but she went way too far in how she was talking about elain, calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her (and not even that badly like he meant everything he said and none of those were lies) and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre. also if she has had this personality for centuries i can only imagine the list of shit the ic has against her

id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol

I mean, with the Winter Court situation, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened? 🫣 I don’t have the books on me at the moment so I can’t check but I agree it would be weird if Kalias and Viviane came over for the solstice with the death of a dozen children between them, so I’m inclined to believe Rhys wasn’t the one who committed that particular crime for Amarantha 🫠😭

And with Rhys being morally grey, I feel like it gets a little confusing because we don’t really get to see what he’s like as a character without Feyre? I feel like he probably took a bit of a (positive) turn now that he has his mate if that makes sense? Also the fact he isn’t under the pressure of maintaining a mask so thoroughly has probably contributed to who he’s become? I’d really like to get a scene though where the morally grey part bleeds through, perhaps if someone’s threatened in a future book? 👀

Either way, he’s a fictional character (to many’s upset 😔) so I suppose his personal ethics aren’t a particular point of contention when held against some problems occurring in our world 😕

‘i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand’

You do not have to worry about a thing, she is fully intended to be easily and actively dislikable though I don’t think it’s an issue if some people take her side since this is a work of fiction ���💛

However, I am really interested in seeing what sides people take when it comes to what she does and her motivations, as well as what she holds dear and who she’s loyal to when it comes down to it! I’ll be curious if anyone will feel her actions might be more easily justifiable or at the very least understandable once more of her past is dug up? Whether people feel a bad deed is always a bad deed irrespective of circumstance, or whether the context and environment surrounding an action should be taken into consideration before passing judgement :)

‘calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her’

To be perfectly honest with you, I really enjoyed getting to write the parts because of how inappropriate they were given the situation 🤦😭 Her trying to convince Az to be with her and then insulting the person he claims to be in love with 🫣

‘and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre.’

I mean, not only is she a prominent figure in society, but she also has some pretty intense power readily disposable, and she doesn’t really act like she’s responsible enough to handle it (but we’ll inevitably examine those parts, too, because it would be weird if she just came into all that power without any sort of accountability or understanding of death and life, right? 👀)

‘id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol’

Honestly I’m still figuring out what’s going to happen in the end? She’s going to get with Az, but I’m indecisive on whether it’ll be a clean ending or not? I feel like if it is going to be like that, there’s a line that she won’t be able to cross, whereas it might be quite interesting to see how people try to reconcile her actions while still keeping in line with their own morals?

Also witnessing through her actions what sort of person she’s become and what situations have led up to that (and whether there are other people partially responsible for the things that have happened)

Either way, I think it’ll be exciting to figure these things out! There’s still so much of the story yet to be decided on, so it’s going to take some time for a next part to come together! And thank you so much for writing in!! I absolutely adore getting to read thoughts like this, it makes me so happy to know you’re invested to this level 🧡💛

[logically-asexual]

i have no idea what it is like to have such a following as Thomas does so im probably speaking out of turn and my opinion is wrong but. speaking purely as a fan myself, i can’t help putting myself in the shoes of the people Thomas replies to saying stuff like this (by “this” mean like the reply above and those replies where he has expressed disapproval of criticism or questions about how long the next video will take x x)

one thing here is alright. i like that he said they shouldn’t “tag him” in stuff like this instead of just vaguely implying that they shouldn’t tweet stuff like this at all, like he has done in other occasions. so that’s good. i think it’s fair for people to post whatever they want but to also expect them to not tag the creator in comments that aren’t wanted.

however i don’t like that he’s suggesting that a single tweet like this can make his skin condition worse? im not defending the original tweet because i can see how it sounds very insensitive considering thomas’s situation. but im speaking only about thomas’s response and. like maybe if you’re getting so worked up about a single tweet (when you’re a social media personality that probably gets tagged in hundreds of posts daily) and it gives you the amount of stress that can physically affect your health then you should maybe work on that yourself? because social media is what it is and rude comments aren’t going anywhere.

if i am wrong, though, and the right thing to do is that all fanders be careful of what they say because Thomas can’t help what tweets he sees because he gets tagged in them and also bc the twitter algorithm is annoying, and if for certain criticisms it’s certainly best to try our best keep them away from him because they’ll directly hurt him then ! i still think! that he should NOT target the individual person in public by replying to their tweet and telling them off there.

i think (again, speaking as a fan, putting myself in other fans’ shoes and thinking that this could happen to me) i think that he should post his own PSA saying “please don’t tag me in comments about x or y” and/or dm the person directly to tell them that the tweet hurt him and to not do that in the future.

because even if a tweet is rude and insensitive, the one posting it wasn’t asking for thomas to bring it

- thousands of views and a bunch of unwanted comments

- who knows how many angry fans telling them off for what they did or being passive aggressive in thomas’s comments

- a bad reputation in the fandom as “that person thomas had to call out because they were rude to him”

- the guilt of apparently personally worsening Thomas’s stress and health problems, said by Thomas himself.

i don’t think those are fair consequences to writing a poorly worded, insulting tweet. maybe it’s just me but i think it’s too much.

[bonesandthebees]

finally put together my thoughts about last glass chapter, idk how comprehensible it all is but I dont have the words to praise it how it deserves

the use of the pythia in the ch27 is super interesting to me

there are moments where I wonder if he doesnt have a bit of a hard time letting go of the pythia title, its all he had for a big part of his life after all, it was what have him purpose in life

and the problem wasnt inheritly in the title or the role, it was in the rules and how he was treated, he deserved to be respected as a person even when he was the pythia

that cechovs syringe was really cool, at first it was scary bc the priests intentions were definitely to use it on wilbur and I really like how it went from a fear factor to our saving grace AND created wilburs whole dilemma about taking tommy away from his goddess but saving him

by having the priest have it at first and wilbur taking it it felt really smoothly incorporated into the story instead of wilbur just finding it somewhere or something

I hate how they blame wilburs change on the deathlings, the fact that he turned against clara, the tattoo choice, everything

even now its like they cant give credit for any decisions, for having a mind of his own and just cant imagine being a person without being the pythia

or even that hes someone while having the role of the pythia

and it just hurts to see so much

thats why schlatts change in attitude mustve hurt so much

clara failed wilbur and the other pythias that came before him so bad

like I understand that all those rules are man-made, but it feels like she should protect them when she uses them for her visions yk

is the curse real? like do you personally work with it as real? or is that something left up for interpretation (or will we learn next chapter maybe)? bc tommy was cursed and he did die but at the same time coming to the palace was dangerous in nature and the actual killing was enacted as jacks revenge and that has been going on way longer than tommy was cursed, everyone cursed was kinda set up for their death beforehand they even got cursed in a way

whether it is real or not it was yet another thing that built up to the moment of Wilbur deciding to save tommy and played a big role in it bc it was thanks to the curse that wilbur knew that tommy doesnt want to die and has been praying to krisitin bc of it and it looked like shes ignoring him and all this helped wilbur decide to save him

and I think he wouldnt have saved tommy without knowing all this. it goes against the deathlings' religion (at least i think? it was murder so im not sure sure but I think it was wrong on jacks side but on tommys side I dont think it matters how he died but taking him away from death is wrong) and tommy actually worshiped kristin of his own choice and wilbur knows that and he also knows what its like not to be respected

now ofc I cant be sure what wilbur wouldve done bc that crimeboys bond is STRONG and also in the heat of the moment, accounting it was murder and all, but still

oh my god

writing this I realised that you could say THE CURSE SAVED TOMMYS LIFE this is insane I am obsessed, I think this look on it makes it all really beautiful, storytelling wise

very interested in how theyll handle the fact that jack tried to kill tommy bc honestly this situation was very different from when tommy did it, it was PLANNED

glass!jack and glass!niki you are so interesting to me I am rotating you in my brain constantly, their path of thinking has captured me

I hope that schlatts confession about his opinion on the visions helps wilbur make his peace a bit, bc while it doesnt excuse how schlatt treated wilbur, it explains it and also shows that it wasnt wilburs fault that he was failing his role as the pythia when schlatt didnt listen bc he was basically set up to fail from the start

and yes wilbur is parting with his role as the pythia but this might still help him recover, bc at least he wasnt so bad at his one job all these year

and if it doesnt help at least we got schlatt calling wilbur pretty boy, obsessed

I love how in reaction to what schlatt says wilbur feels the pythia dying in the palace and leaving it behind

what a banger chapter, so much happened and it was all so interesting

all that happened and mainly the stuff around tommys dying just showa so perfectly what this story has been telling us this whole time, what the main theme is basically, and that is that in the end you when it matters the only one you can rely on is yourself, not some god and the scene with wilbur saving tommy and kristin not being there really pushes this on you so well I love it sm

rn im just putting all my hope on phil and the deathlings to save wilbur from being forced to be the pythia again

also probably very hypothetical question but im thinking about if wilbur got the option to kinda peacefully step out of his role of the pythia by getting a vision about the next one if he would do it or wouldnt bc he would refuse to bring that fate onto someone else

aaaa thank you, yes I really enjoyed playing around with using the pythia vs wilbur in this chapter. it's hard because I wanted the chapter to be mostly wilbur, but there were key moments where I knew he was going to slip back into the pythia mindset, mostly when he's talking to the priest and later to schlatt. it's not necessarily he's having a hard time letting go of the title, it's that he's spent so much of his life in this mindset that he's not a person, that he's supposed to be wholly devoted to this goddess that he keeps slipping in and out of that mental space.

I'm glad the syringe felt smoothly incorporated!! I was worried it would feel like too much of a "this is a surprise tool that will help us later" bit and while it definitely still was, I wanted it to be tied into what was going on and the worldbuilding and everything

I mean, wilbur has spent the last decade acting as a completely dedicated pythia. then he's gone for a little over half a year and suddenly he's gotten a tattoo and severed his ties to clara and is working with the deathlings? from the priests perspective you can kind of see how it's a bit difficult to believe he got there on his own. especially when they think of becoming the pythia as the highest honor anyone can attain, and how the dehumanizing aspects are meant to be more revered and honorable than anything else

oooo that's an interesting question about the curse. this is going to sound like a cop out answer but I swear it's not, I genuinely haven't decided if the curse is real or not. in a way I think of it like schrodinger's curse. it's both real and not real at the same time. all of the deaths can be explained away by circumstance, but that doesn't mean that the curse didn't cause them. I set it up so that it was completely up to interpretation. I hope that makes sense?

hmm that's an interesting take actually! I definitely think it was a combination of things that led to wilbur deciding to save tommy's life, but the ultimate deciding factor was simply that crimeboys have an unhealthy bond. wilbur will pull tommy back from death even if he's in the arms of his goddess, because he needs tommy by his side. tommy will fight to keep wilbur to himself and get jealous when he starts to heal and connect with other people. the two of them hurt each other because of how much they love each other. that was kind of the core of that whole thing, although I really like what you pointed out with the whole curse saving tommy's life in a way

glass!rocketduo are so interesting babygirls your logic is so screwed up <3

yeah, wilbur was set up to fail from the start. and it does help him find some kind of peace with it! it wasn't his fault, he wasn't a failure. schlatt was never going to listen to him for reasons outside his control.

yessss you get it, one of the primary themes is about relying on yourself and other people before relying on goddesses that might or might not choose to help you. the deities in glass are so far above humanity they can choose what they want to help with and when, and humanity is only left to try and understand why the goddesses do what they do but they'll never really be able to.

hmm that's also an interesting question... personally I think wilbur wouldn't pass on the teachings, but even then the priests would just do it for him so it wouldn't change much. I still think he would choose not to participate though.

thank you so much for the kind words i'm so glad you enjoyed!!!

[pepprs]

ok two things.

not that i need to clarify and not that anyone needs to know more detail but. to clarify from my post last night: my brother did nothing wrong by showing his music to me AT ALL. but there are two things that are hard about it and i hate to say it but the bigger one is… he has the same spark i used to have and feel like ive lost forever snd him making unfathomably beautiful music makes me… jealous. or at the very least mournful about what happened to my own musical / poetic pursuits and skills and how i feel like i will never be able to do anything like that again bc ive lost myself and feel detached from my life and am frozen like a dear in headlights. and the second thing is he’s in a lot of pain rn with his own situation and we don’t communicate abt it except in ways that are extremely like.. strained and sheepish and i feel like a bad big sister for not being more affectionate and like trying to force through the barrier and be lovey dovey with him basically bc i think he needs / wants that even though we’re both weird about it. lol

my cousins posted a picture of them smoking together on their ig story and my mom screenshotted it and sent it to me and my siblings w/o knowing that ig tells you when you screenshot someone’s story and is now doubling down on how righteous she is abt taking a screenshot bc they’re being stupid and smoking when it’s unhealthy. and my dad is telling her “people are allowed to be you g and make mistakes” and she’s continui ng to double down abt how when she was their age she didn’t care about fitting in and just accepted that she didn’t fit in instead of engaging in bad behavior etc etc. like first of all our cousins didn’t hurt anyone by posting that why did she need to screenshot it 💀 they’re going to read into that for sure and i don’t blame them like it’s just so weird and im so fucking embarrassed abt it. and second of all lkke… you are not better than them for not smoking or doing other stuff and also them smoking isn’t necessarily abt fitting in. shut up 💗 [UPDATE post cancelled apparently ig doesn’t notify ppl when they screenshot stories anymore. but my point abt her being judgy abt young ppl being young ppl remains]

[radiostaticsmile]

Cult tactics tw

Wild to me i am just now realizing my system was Very interested in learning as much as we could about cults while we were with a person who used cult abuse tactics on me (purposefully sleep depriving me, other stuff im ironically to tired rn to think of other things. And normal abuse stuff like gaslighting ans lovebombing obviously) im preeetty sure he was trying to make a cult with the polycule (abusing members into abusing eacn other to do his bidding).

And as soon as i wasnt in that situation i did not wanna hear about it at all. (i say I but it wasnt me Alastor, we split from the abuse so it was somene who doesn't exist anymore)

At the time i was like oh haha :) it just interesting i guess :). When i never was interested before (not that i didnt care about that it happened but i didnt seek to hear about it.) I wonder if part of our brain like Knew hey. This stuff seem similar to cult stuff. And trying desperately to get us to realize Something is Wrong

Also gross to me he also listenes to cult podcast things. I think he legitmately was learning tips on how to abuse on purpose. Bc the way he acted thinking back no way that shits an accdent. You dont consistently sleep deprive me on accident. You don't need basic respect explained to you like youre a toddler as a grown man he fucking knew he just actinf dumb to force me to explain and shirk responsibility of knowingly treatinf me like shit like oh haha didnt know screaming at you was bad ooplsss. Fck yourself. And im p sure he even said shit like he wants to be a cult leader Whilst listening to pdcasts where ppl recount horrible cult abuse and he tried to make the polycule do like. Cult themed aesthetic things like gross gross gross diedie die

Sorry lost the plot there anyways fuck that guy hope he dies

[wanderrlust0]

-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

[goosegoblin]

Hi jess. Hope you’re well. Asking you this because im honestly not sure who to ask in my life and ive liked the advice you’ve given to others in the past. So im an american poc, 21 and in college, as is my white bf. We’ve only been dating 5 mos but im more in love and secure w him than anyone ever and he feels the same. We’ve started talking about postgrad plans since we’re going to enter our last year of college. He is planning on a phd whereas im going corporate. He wants to live together after graduation and be in the same city. He’ll heavily consider my choice for location when it comes to grad school and wants me to apply to jobs in those cities. I really want to be with him and I can see a future w him but at the same time it’s really scary. Especially the thought of moving away from my state and moving in with him and starting a life together. I feel like im still young. But i also dont want to be long distance, esp because wherever he picks for grad school he will be stuck at for a few years. Are we crazy to be talking about all this and considering living together (a year later) when we’ve only been together for 5mos? Im aware we could break up before then and my immigrant parents will present MANY issues, but there’s hope in my heart that we’ll work thru all of it together. Or am I being delusional and need to chill out? We still have a few mos but I’ll need to start applying to jobs in the fall and will need to figure out which cities by then. Idk. It sounds crazy to me. He could be the one or he could not. I dont know and my heart wants to run w this but also scary to make decisions when we haven’t known each other that long (even tho it’s been wonderful. Not perfect bc many external obstacles but perfect btwn us). Any advice is much appreciated!!! Sorry this is so long

Hello my friend,

I think to a certain extent this depends on how much this would limit your career options. Are we talking about a career where you can pretty easily find jobs in most cities? Or one that's quite niche, where limiting yourself would make life a lot harder? If you weren't moving to be with him, would you consider moving to another state at all, or would you strongly prefer to stay where you are?

A few other things to consider- if you make these plans and then you break up beforehand, will you have somewhere to stay? What if you break up after a few months of living together- who will leave and who will stay? Will you be alright for money? Will you have a support network outside of him, even if not in person? You say there will be issues with your family- if they're currently an important part of your life, will you potentially lose them if you make this decision? Is that okay with you or not? None of these are leading questions, by the way- they're just things I think are worth consideration.

For reference, I moved in with my then-boyfriend and two other people in a shared house after dating him for around six months. We're now married, so it went pretty well! That being said, it was in the same city I was living in anyway, we were also living with other people, and we were both still attending (the same) university. I am sure many people have stories of moving in together early and having it work; I am sure many have stories of moving in together early and it not working (I suspect, sadly, there are many more of these). Nothing in life is risk-free.

I think if you do go through with it, it's sensible to think of and plan for worst-case scenarios- but I don't think this is a situation where I can tell you what's right or wrong. I think it depends on a lot of different factors. Are there friends or people in your life that you could ask that might know you and your partner better? I'm sorry that I couldn't give more specific or useful advice.

Best wishes and lots of love,

xx

[depressedraisin]

ok brethren rant incoming

so ytd i was at this paper presentation competition with my very mediocre paper (the sole reason to that was bcs i am not a banking public finance girlie i never will be) but that's not the story. the story is that i met this dude from a year above me and he's from this very presitigious old traditionally left leaning and social sciences focusing college and i thought ha he might be interesting lemme chat him up. now usually i am decapacitated by social anxiety at events like these but i thought no girl you can't let your demons get the better of you and stare at him for the rest of the event, go talk to him maybe you could get a friendship out of this. i CANNOT tell you just HOW MUCH it took for me too even get up and go say hi. but i did, and i was so proud of myself. he was since enough and we started chatting.

and then.

then, Dude turned out to be a Finance Bro. not just any Finance Bro but an elon musk stanning borderline fascist bullshit spouting "there is nothing wrong with exploiting power if you have it" "why should the rich pay for the poor" Finance Bro.

*loooooooooooong sigh*

spent like 3 hours econ-mansplaining how capitalism is a meritrocracy to me. which was yeah okay im used to hearing bullshit like that i just silently rolled my eyes but then. BUT THEN. man said TO MY FACE "what's there to research in economic history 🥴" when i told him abt my future plans. FUCK HIM. HOW DARE YOU.

yk mama raised a polite girl who is slightly terrified of confrontation or else Dude would've been shredded to pieces.

like fucking nincompoop do you think you dropped on earth outta nowhere do you think scholars who spend years and years studying and trying to understand how our current economic situations have evolved from those in the past are idiots.

im so amused by Finance Bros' complete and absolute inability to wrap their teeny lil heads around the fact that you can study for personal satisfaction. yeah my good sir it is, in fact, possible that someone dedicates their life to the study of something just because they like it and they think it's interesting. only things that bring you lotsa cash aren't the only ones that hold value in life- wow surprise.

like yeah i had the grades to go for stem i still have the grades to go for a cushy corporate job and just count banknotes for the rest of my life but NO im not gonna do that bcs i have this one life and thank god i have the priviledge to dedicate it to pursuing academics long term in a field that interests me so im gonna do that. he was like "if you were confident enough in taking maths and economics then might as well have gone for STEM" NO DUMBWIT. i DID NOT have the interest. it's really just that simple. and yes i can love maths and be interested in history its not that hard. economics is not an isolated science it is literally ABOUT SOCIETY its a social sciene you cannot cut it off from politics or history or sociology. fucking idiot

so yeah. im so annoyed. day ruined totally.

im going back to chatting up only women. cishet men are trash

[taomyou]

The Romance of Reimbursements - Chapter 16

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader Status: COMPLETED Summary: There’s a guy you see every Friday on bus 143, and you think he’s pretty hot. It wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend about him, would it? or, you and Levi take the same bus home from work every Friday, and you fall in love slowly, clumsily, and with all the time in the world to fold as many paper stars as your heart desires. Word Count: 7.7k Tags: slow burn, friends to lovers, modern au, office au, fluff, romance, meet-cute, matchmaking (A/N: this fic is entirely available on ao3 here if you would like to read it there instead!) Chapter Navigation Accompanying Playlist

the feeling not understood

When you're comfortably situated in your usual seat on bus 143 on Monday after work, you reach to take your phone out of your pocket to give yourself something to occupy yourself with for the next 45 minutes. You see a text from Hange, so you smile and go to unlock your phone to read it.

Hange - 5:20 PM

Remember to leave saturday free!!! We're celebrating Moblit's birthday with everyone at Sina's :D

You - 5:22 PM

his birthday is today, right?

Hange - 5:23 PM

Yup!!

You - 5:23 PM

tell him i say happy birthday ^^

Hange - 5:24 PM

What makes you think Im seeing him today?

You smile to yourself and shake your head. Right, they still don't know you know they're together.

You - 5:25 PM

i never said you were going to see him today i simply don't have his number to tell him myself

Hange - 5:25 PM

WAIT HAVE I NEVER ADDED YOU TO OUR GROUP CHAT????? Oh my god I cant believe we've gone this far without adding you IM SO SORRY

You roll your eyes.

You - 5:26 PM

it really isn't a big deal, i don't need anyone's number

Hange - 5:26 PM

NO NO I MUST RIGHT MY WRONGS Honestly tho we never use it anymore bc Levi has had us muted since like february and we have to text him separately anyway STILL I AM SO SO SORRY LET ME ASK THEM RN IF I CAN ADD YOU

Before you can even come up with a way to tell them that you really don't mind that you haven't gotten access to this apparently dead group chat, you see a text from a group chat titled The Hottest People Ever. You giggle at the title before switching over to see what's going on there.

Hange's typing when you get loaded in, but they're taking a while to type out whatever they're trying to say, so you go to check who's in the group chat. There's two numbers you don't have saved (presumably Mike and Moblit), Hange, of course, Levi, and Erwin.

Erwin's number is actually saved as "Erwin (WORK, DO NOT ANSWER)" because you haven't had the chance to change it since becoming better friends, so you quickly remove the parenthetical before clicking back to the chat.

Hange - 5:30 PM

Hello!!! WELCOME TO THE GROUP CHAT ASTRAEA!! Everyone say hi pls :D 

Unknown Number - 5:31 PM

Hello! This is Moblit :)

You - 5:32 PM

hi!! happy birthday ^^

You quickly go to add him to your contacts, as well as Mike since he’s probably the other number you don’t already have.

Moblit - 5:33 PM

Oh, thank you!

Everyone else is probably busy, going by the fact that there’s no other texts that come in, so you exit out of the chat to scroll through SNS.

In the middle of you reading some random news article talking about the economy, you get a text from Erwin.

Weird, he never texts you. If anything, he’s the type to only call.

You tap on the notification to see what’s up.

Erwin - 6:05 PM

Sorry for the late notice, but could you stay late tomorrow? I need help with something.

The period at the end of the message comes off as way more passive aggressive than you’re sure he intended, but you still feel intimidated by the relatively minor punctuation.

You - 6:08 PM

Sure.

You cringe when you go to send the message, the capitalization and punctuation too serious for how you normally text, but you figure that’s good enough of a way to respond to Erwin (who was just speaking to you as your boss and not your friend).

You hope that he takes offense to your reply, actually. Who actually wants to stay even later than normal at their fucking office job?

You get home soon thereafter, and while you do your homely chores and get dinner ready, you try your best to take your mind off of the impending doom that awaits you at work tomorrow. Knowing how the workflow has been for the last… four months now, Erwin’s probably asking for your help for the rest of the week and not just Tuesday.

At least you have Saturday’s dinner to look forward to. Maybe you can tell the waiter to pick Erwin’s credit card in the roulette.

✰

The next morning when you leave for work, you're unsurprised to see Moblit walking out of Hange's apartment, arms full with bags of gifts. You both wave to each other in greeting, and because you're both headed in the same direction, you end up walking together.

“Need help with the gifts?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you for offering, though!”

“You sure? Your arms are, uh, pretty full.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

There’s a door between where you are and where the elevator is, so you go ahead and get that open so he can get through. You push the button for the ground floor, and he thanks you before the both of you step into the lift.

“How’re you and Hange? You guys look really happy together,” you tell him in earnest.

“Oh! Have they finally told you? I thought they wanted to keep it a secret, like, for fun.”

You roll your eyes. “They haven’t, you guys are just terrible at sneaking around.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess we are. I run into you practically every time I’m leaving their place.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what you were thinking with that,” you say.

The elevator beeps once you’ve reached the ground floor, and you step out first so you can hold the doors open as he stumbles out. He thanks you, and before you split paths, he answers your question from earlier.

“And we’re great, I feel like I’m falling in love with them all over again,” he beams. “I’ve had a crush on them since uni, but I didn’t really know what to do about it until a couple months ago.”

You reflexively smile and go to put a hand over your heart. Moblit’s such a sweet guy, you really couldn’t wish anyone better for your best friend.

“You guys are so cute,” you gush. “Drop hints to go public, yeah? I have a bunch of candid photos of you and them walking in the courtyard here, and I’m sure Hange would want them.”

He perks up. “Wait, could you send those to me? My phone wallpaper is just an old picture of us at graduation, but I’ve been meaning to change it.”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, of course, I’ll get them to you!”

You wave goodbye to him, and he gives you a nod before heading off to the parking lot and presumably back to his car.

Ugh, you hate the both of them (in a “they’re so cute, I need to strangle them” kind of way).

As you’re walking over to the bus station, you sigh, remembering what Erwin texted you yesterday.

Thinking about it presently, what is there for you to even help him with? He definitely is the better lawyer between the two of you (objectively, at the very least), so what does he need you specifically for?

Yeah, you most definitely will be making sure his card gets chosen on Saturday.

✰

Turns out, Erwin needed you to review some work reports, entrusting the task to you while he's gone at higher-up meetings. You were right to assume that it wouldn’t be just Tuesday—it was Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Reviewing such paperwork isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes fucking forever, and you can’t afford to make any mistakes. Because of this, the next couple of days pass by slowly, with both nothing and everything happening all at once.

Unfortunately, the slow pace doesn’t mean anything anyway because you aren't able to get even a second to breathe, and when you finally go to take your seat next to Levi on Friday at 3:02 PM, you can only greet him with a defeated sigh.

It’s a miracle you’re here at all, considering how late you’ve been coming out of the office for the last 3 days. How you managed to get all of your work done before this exact moment, you have no idea.

You’re too exhausted to try and strike up conversation in the moment, so you prop your briefcase up higher so you can put your head down on it comfortably and close your eyes.

“Sorry, is it okay if I rain check on talking today?” Your voice comes out weaker than you intend it to, but you’re much too tired to pay any attention to it.

You feel a bit of weight at your left side, and you’re unsurprised when you turn to see that Levi’s lightly tapped his shoulder against yours.

“Yeah, get some sleep.”

You hum tiredly. “I don’t need sleep.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yep, I just need to quit my job,” you whine. “Ugh, I still have to go grocery shopping, maybe I’ll go tomorrow.”

“Are you actually going to do that? Quit your job?”

“Of course not, but it’s nice to dream.”

Your mind actually is too busy to let you fall asleep even with your head down, so you just sit there quietly, waiting for the bus to eventually get to your destination.

For whatever reason, it feels like it’s enough to just be sitting next to Levi. Your nerves leave you slowly, and you eventually get to settle further into your spot and enjoy as the scenery passes you by.

It’s the middle of spring, so the flora on the route is in full bloom, lighting up the way with bright colors and visible gusts of pollen.

You wish you could muster up the energy to talk to Levi—to ask him about his week, to tell him about yours.. You’re not physically tired; you very well could.

But when you turn to look at him, he looks content with the silence that covers the two of you, going by his stare out at the same flowery paths that pass by in the window.

You open your mouth to speak, but you can’t find the words to say. Somehow, you can sense that if you do talk, he’s just going to tell you to shut up anyway.

Or maybe he’d look up the definition of “rain check” on his phone to make sure you understand what it means.

You smile gently at the thought before putting your head down again on your briefcase, and you close your eyes. Not really to sleep, but you might as well try to get some of your energy back before heading home.

✰

When the bus’s sound system tells you that you’ve reached Rose, you lift your head from your briefcase and yawn, making sure to cover your mouth. “Get home safe, Levi,” you tell him, slowly blinking yourself awake.

When you wave goodbye to him, however, you’re taken off-guard by the warmth that takes over you when he takes hold of your hand and gently pulls you up.

You get the message quickly enough and scramble to get your briefcase secured in your other hand, but you’re unable to ask any questions as you try to get yourself oriented enough to get off the bus. 

You manage to tell the driver a “thank you,” but other than that, you’re at a loss for words until you’re both safely on the sidewalk, the bus leaving a huge gust of wind behind it and blowing both your and Levi's hair in all directions.

The two of you just stare at each other, daring the other to speak, but you hardly feel like you’re the one who has to do any explaining.

And he probably feels the same way, because he wordlessly turns away from you and lightly tugs at your hand. When he starts walking, you have to jog a step or two to catch up with him.

“Where are we going?”

He doesn’t slow his pace, instead giving a squeeze to your hand. The contact is hardly meaningful in that he’s probably only holding your hand to drag you around, so you won’t take it as anything else.

“Surprise.”

Well, you doubt he could take you anywhere surprising, especially when you know that the only things in the immediate area are Magnolia Floral Company, the supermarket, and his car, but you suppose you’ll entertain him. Not like you have anywhere else to be anyway.

When you’re taken to the front of the supermarket, you’re hardly surprised, but you still play along. “The grocery store? I never would’ve guessed!”

He rolls his eyes and flicks your forehead, eliciting a whine from you. “Really, now?”

While you rub at your forehead to make a show of the pain (it really doesn’t hurt at all, it’s just in good fun), he drags you both over to get a shopping cart. He puts his backpack in, and you follow suit with your briefcase.

He lets go of your hand to push the cart, and you feel like you miss the warmth. It’s hardly winter, and the weather is definitely warm enough, but your hand feels… cold, all of a sudden.

Instead of weaving through the lanes like you’d think he normally would, he stops at the very beginning of the produce section and just stares at you.

You blink owlishly at him. “What’re you looking at me for?”

He rolls his eyes, almost ruefully so. “You’re the one who has to get groceries, or did you forget already?”

You raise an eyebrow. “That’s why we’re here?”

“Yes, so start putting shit in and let me pay while you’re at it,” he says. Before you can protest, he continues. “And none of your ‘stop paying me back’ shit, we both know neither of us are letting up anytime soon.”

You’re still frozen in place, at yet another loss for words, but when Levi reaches over to seemingly try and flick your forehead again, you move out of the way to get out in front of him. “Okay, okay, but you have to get something too. I don’t want this to be a waste of your time.”

He scoffs. “As if I have anything better to do right now.”

You lead the both of you through the aisles, looking at anything and everything. You’re hesitant to add things to the cart, but even when you put things back on the shelf, Levi moves to put them in anyway. You chastise him for it, telling him you don’t want him spending too much money on you, but he just flips you off and continues to follow you as you venture through the store.

At the checkout, he’s quick to get ahead of you so you don't get the chance to pay, and you just roll your eyes before loading everything on the conveyor belt.

When the cashier hands the receipt to him, Levi scratches both the singular and total prices out with his nail before handing the long sheet to you. “For you to make your stars.”

You take it from him with a nod, and you tuck it into your pocket before helping him put everything back in the cart. He pushes it out for you, and before you know it, you’re both in front of his car.

“I assume you’re driving me home.”

“No, you’re gonna have to haul all of this stuff back to the bus,” he deadpans. “Yes, get in.”

You laugh. “At least let me help put everything in your car.”

He shakes his head, but he lets you do just that. He wheels the cart back to its designated space in the parking lot after handing you his keys to start the car, and you get yourself situated in the passenger seat after you do that. By the time he comes back, you’ve already torn off your first strip of paper, and you’re looping it onto itself.

He reaches over you to his glove box, and from it, he pulls out a small box of blueberry merlot tea. He puts it between the both of you on the little open space, probably because your hands aren’t free in the moment.

“Did you take me grocery shopping because you forgot to bring the tea with you?” You ask.

He hums to himself as he goes to back out of the parking space, his hand on the back of your headrest. “Maybe,” he replies, “but Erwin’s been complaining about work a lot more than usual, which means you probably had a tough week too. Might as well help make you feel better while you’re here.”

You sigh. “As if it isn’t his fault I’ve been so busy at the office. That fucker asked me to help with reports all week.”

“Or so I’ve heard. Don’t worry, I chewed him out for it already.”

You laugh, and you shake your head. “Thank you, I guess.”

As always, the drive is silent, save for the rustling of paper. You reach your apartment easily enough, and he goes ahead and parks in the parking garage for the building. You hand him the stars you’ve made from the receipt, and he reaches over again for his glove box to put them away.

You know he’s going to do it anyway, so you let him carry some of the groceries up to your apartment with you. When you reach your unit, you get your keys and open the door to let him in to get everything set on the table.

You’re still at the door, watching as he does that, and when he comes back to you to leave, he gives a curt nod.

“Get home safe.”

“Stealing my jokes now?”

“I made it first.”

You blink. “Huh? When?”

He rolls his eyes. “When I dropped you off after our Valentine’s Day disaster.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You still make fun of me when I say it.”

“It’s only funny when I say it.”

“You get home safe too, then.”

He nods, and you watch as he starts to walk back in the direction you both came from, and before you can stop yourself, you yell out his name.

“Levi!”

He isn’t too far, so the volume really isn’t necessary, but he still turns around. “What?”

You look back and forth between him and the groceries that’re set on your dining table, and you think for maybe two seconds before deciding that it’d only be fair for him to at least have some use for your groceries, seeing as he’s the one who paid for them.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” You ask.

He stares blankly back at you, but after checking the time on his watch, he eventually shrugs and walks back over to you. “Sure, but only if you let me help cook.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and you open the door further to let him inside again. “Okay, fine.”

You go to quickly change out of your work clothes, not wanting to get them dirty with anything in the kitchen, and you bring back the same set of clothes Levi wore last time he was over so he can do the same. He excuses himself to go change, and you hum to yourself as you get everything sorted out so you can figure out what to cook for the both of you. Levi comes back out relatively quickly, his work clothes neatly folded up, and he sets that at the edge of your dining table before joining you in the kitchen.

You aren’t able to figure out what you should make, but it seems that Levi has more cooking knowledge than you when he naturally takes initiative in deciding for the both of you. Of course, he asks you if it’s alright to use any ingredients before he does, but you wave him off every time and tell him that he doesn’t need to keep asking.

You let him guide you throughout everything, listening along as he directs you to chop this, stir that, whatever it is. There isn’t much room for any other conversation, but that’s fine with you.

Dinner gets made quickly enough, and with a pot of blueberry merlot tea between the two of you, you start to eat.

You take a sip of the tea first, though, and you give it a solid 7/10. He does the same, but he gives a 5/10, citing the fact that it doesn’t have caffeine as reason for its lowered rating.

You both take the time now to talk about work, since you weren’t able to earlier on the bus, and conversation flows easily. Talking about the misery of the last workweek makes up for the trouble because it lets you completely let go of any of the anxieties you had about it, and when Levi talks about the hell that is grading college papers, you know he feels the same as you do.

After you’re both done venting about work and your coworkers and your clients and practically everyone else in the world, the topic shifts over to Moblit’s birthday dinner the next day.

“Are you bringing a present?”

He shakes his head. “He’s not a gifts person, never accepts them from anyone.”

You go to cover your mouth to stifle your giggle. “Right, right.”

“How’s that funny?”

“I saw him leaving Hange’s place on Tuesday, he was bringing home a bunch of gifts from them.”

Levi sighs, shaking his head again. “I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.”

“Does he like sweets? I’d feel awkward showing up without at least that.”

“That’s not a terrible idea, but knowing him, he’s probably going to give it all to Hange.”

“That’s alright, still better than nothing,” you muse, swirling the teacup in your hand. “We could make something together. Maybe you could bring some of it home for Isabel and Furlan, too?”

Levi hums. “If you’re fine with it.”

You nod, going to take another sip of your tea before gathering your now-finished plate and utensils to bring to the sink. You hold out another hand to Levi’s spot at the table, and he shoos your hand away before getting up himself to put his tableware into the sink.

He tries to start washing them, but you gently shove him out of the way before turning on the faucet.

“Remember what we said? No washing dishes at the other person’s place.”

He doesn’t give any contest, but he grabs the small dish towel that hangs on a ring above your sink, and he waits next to you so that he can dry the dishes before putting them away.

The running water is loud enough to fill your relatively small apartment, so neither you nor Levi feel any need to talk. While Levi finishes up with drying and putting your tableware away, you take out your recipe book from one of the upper cupboards.

You check the time on your phone: 7:31 PM.

It's quite late already, so you flip through the pages to try and find something that doesn’t take that long to make. Levi is done with getting everything put away shortly thereafter, and he comes up next to you to watch as you figure out what to make.

“Is there anything he likes in particular?” You ask.

“He likes brownies,” he answers. “Do you know how to make those?”

You look over at him, mock offense on your face. “You think I don’t know how to make brownies?”

He puts his hands up, sarcastically so. “Sue me.”

You shake your head with a smile, and you go to close your recipe book. “I will.” You start heading over to your cabinets to get the ingredients, knowing already what you need. “Could you get some eggs and butter from the fridge? Just take out everything you can find.”

“Yeah.”

Soon enough, there’s a hefty pile of ingredients on your kitchen counter, and now you’re the one directing Levi to do things. You turn on the oven and get the ingredients measured out, but you leave everything else up to Levi.

Brownies are certainly not complicated and you could have very easily just made these on your own, but you still feel happy to be making them with him. He struggles a bit here and there, but he doesn’t give up, which is more than you could say for Hange whenever you’re in these situations with them.

It’s weird. Ordinarily when you teach other people how to bake, they feel more like a hindrance to the process than any help.

You let Levi finish mixing the batter while you get the pans prepared, and you can see a faint smile on his face when he goes to pour it all in.

It warms your heart to know that he’s having fun, even if he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing.

You’ve just finished putting away the dirtied utensils and food scale, so you come over to where he is so you can help scrape off the rest of the batter from the bowl.

You quickly get some star confetti sprinkles from your cabinet to put on top (you know, to make the brownies more birthday-esque, or whatever), and you hand the shaker to Levi once the lid’s off.

After that, you open the oven door for him to slide the pans inside, and you close it once they’re all neatly put in.

Looking over at him now, you laugh when you’re met with a better view of his flour-dusted front. “Can I take a picture?”

“Fuck no,” he scoffs. “How long do they take in the oven?”

You shrug. “40 minutes, give or take.” He looks past you and at the bathroom, and so you assume he wants to wash up. “You can shower, if you’d like.”

“I am never taking a shower here ever again,” he laments. “I’ll just go change back into my work clothes.”

“My shower really isn’t that hard to use, but that's fine,” you tease.

He walks past you and into the bathroom, making sure to stop by at the dining table to pick up his clothes on his way there. You go ahead and get started on washing even more dishes, and you hum to yourself as you scrub them clean.

Levi comes back just in time to grab the drying towel a second time, and he does that next to you while you wash the soap off your arms.

For the rest of the time the brownies bake, you and Levi migrate over to the couch and turn on the TV. Thankfully, you find a decently entertaining episode of Shark Tank to put on, and you and Levi shout at the TV when the contestants pass on offers from the Sharks or when the investors say something stupid.

The oven beeps to tell you that the brownies are ready, so you excuse yourself to go take those out to cool. You’re quick in doing so, and not even three minutes later, you’re back on the couch, screaming at Mark Cuban for passing on an especially cute line of plush animals.

You and Levi spend the next hour or so keeping up with this. Thankfully, all the contestants in this extended episode are incredibly bad at their pitch, so there’s no hard feelings from either of you when practically all of them leave the Tank without any deals.

You doubt that Levi understands the business lingo any better than you do, but you’re glad he finds as much fun in yelling at the screen as you do.

The ending credits roll, and you stretch upwards, yawning. “What time is it?”

Levi checks his watch. “10:15.”

You hum. “Let me get some brownies for you to take home.” You get up from your spot on the couch, and Levi follows closely after you. You grab some cellophane bags, twist ties, and star tags from your cabinet, as well as some disposable gloves for yourself.

You move everything over to the dining table so you can sit while you work, and when you come back with a knife to cut everything, Levi’s there too.

“Can I help?”

You nod with a lazy smile on your face.

“Please.”

You slip on your gloves after giving the bags to Levi, and you carefully go to cut out neat squares from the pans.

“Where’d you learn how to bake?” He asks.

You sigh. “It’s been a while since anyone’s asked me that.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly.

“No, you’re good.” You hum as you reangle your knife to start going in the perpendicular direction. “I don’t know, everywhere? I watched my mom do it as a kid, and I picked it up as a hobby when I was in high school.”

“You didn’t come out of the womb with a whisk?”

You snort. “No, but I might as well have. Could you open a bag for me?”

He does, and you slip in the first brownie.

“Thanks.”

“Did you ever want to be a baker? Not that law isn’t admirable either.”

You nod, careful as you continue putting away brownies. Levi continues holding out bags for you to do it efficiently.

“A little, but I didn’t really consider it when I got older. It’s still fun, though, I like it a lot,” you tell him.

“Evidently.”

You smile, shaking your head. “Yeah, I’m sure.” One of the brownie’s hasn’t been cut properly, so you set that aside for you and Levi to have later. “It’s nice anyway, everyone likes being friends with the baker, so it made socializing easier for me.”

“Had trouble making friends?”

You shrug. “I guess, yeah. I was always busy with school, so I never really went out. Baking just gave me another crutch.”

He nods in understanding. “If it’s worth anything, I don’t think anybody now only sees you as a free baker.”

“Not even Isabel?”

He scrunches his nose and aggressively shakes his head. “Absolutely not, she never fucking shuts up about how much she loves you.”

You laugh. “She’s a sweet kid.”

“Hange used to call you ‘Sugar,’ though. Before we knew your name.”

You cringe. “That’s the name they chose for me? I couldn’t get something cooler?”

He nods nonchalantly. “They would not shut up about how they hit the jackpot getting you as a neighbor because you’d always come over with snacks for them.”

You laugh at the memory. “Yeah, I was still used to baking for groups of people, and I didn’t know what else to do with my leftovers.”

By now, all the brownies have been put into their bags, so you go to throw away your gloves, get the pans in the sink, and come back with two pens to write on the tags. You hand one to Levi, and you tell him to just write whatever he wants for Isabel and Furlan, and you can do the tags for Moblit.

You make sure to put that one misshapen brownie on a plate between the two of you, and while you write, you both take small pieces from it.

“Did Hange ever give me a different name or did they stick with Sugar?” You ask.

“You know them, they never change names for anyone,” he complains. “They say it works anyway, since you’re apparently so sweet.”

“What, you don’t think I am?” You tease. You’re both looking down at your writing so you don’t catch his reaction to that, but he does take a while to respond.

“I never said that.”

The two of you continue writing on the tags in silence, and soon enough, all of them are being looped onto iridescent twist ties. There’s more than enough for Levi to take home with him even after you have a good amount prepared for Moblit, so you have to excuse yourself to grab a bag for him to put his share in.

You hold the bag open for Levi to put everything inside, and you laugh when you see that he’s addressed Isabel and Furlan with curse words instead of their names on his tags. He helps you put Moblit’s share into some boxes that you had leftover from when you made all that shortbread for him a while ago.

You watch as Levi slides on his shoes, and before you can open the door to let him out, you remember he still has your clothes.

“You can just leave the clothes you borrowed here.”

“I don’t mind taking care of it.”

You wave him off. “It’s okay, I’m doing laundry tomorrow anyway.”

“If you say so.” He unloops one of his backpack straps to bring it forward and take out your clothes.

You take them from him. “Yeah.” You go to open the door for him, and he steps out into the hallway.

You bring your hand up to wave goodbye to him, but before you can actually do the motion, he brings his hand up too. You half expect him to grab your hand again, like he did on the bus, or maybe even give you a hi-five, but instead, he swipes at your cheek with his thumb.

Again, it feels warm—comfortable. You almost feel yourself wanting to lean into the touch further, but his hand doesn’t linger on your skin for any longer than it needs to.

He flips his thumb back to you. “Crumb.”

You nervously laugh, rubbing the back of your neck with your already raised hand. “Right, thanks. Get home safe, Levi.”

“You too.”

“I’m sure I will.”

This time, when you watch his figure disappear around the corner of your apartment floor’s hallway, you don’t call after him.

You almost wish you do, only to see his face again before he has to go.

✰

The next day, you feel… confused as you go through the motions of your morning and afternoon. Hange comes over at around 4 to get ready with you, and you manage to fend off the nerves, but they come back again in the car.

For once, you’re grateful their driving is so horrendous. If anything, you’ll just let the feeling of crashing be more paramount than anything else.

Nothing even happened last night. Nothing insurmountable, at least. He went grocery shopping with you, drove you home, you invited him inside to make dinner and dessert with you, and he left.

But the feeling—this one, where you feel so comfortable—you don’t know what to do with it.

It doesn’t have you red in the face. It doesn’t fill your stomach with butterflies. It doesn’t force you to shy away from spending time with him.

If anything, it prompts you to do exactly that. It’s weird. It’s so glaringly different from the attraction you felt in the beginning, when you didn’t know his name and he was just another stranger you saw on the bus once a week.

Do you even have to figure this out? It could very well just be something completely normal, and you’ve been overthinking it this entire time.

Hange suddenly stops the car, which snaps you out of your thoughts. Though you’re grateful for the mental break, you have to grip even harder than you already were on the grip handle above your seat.

“What the fuck, man!?”

They only laugh before going to take their key out of the ignition. “Well, we’re here!”

You shudder before getting out of the car, careful not to forget anything, and the two of you join the others in the waiting area. You’re the last to arrive, courtesy of Hange’s poor driving skills, and you watch as they naturally drift towards Moblit.

Mike and Erwin, upon seeing you and Hange enter, go to the reservations desk to presumably tell them “table for Smith,” and that leaves you and Levi alone with each other. You raise the boxes of brownies you brought with you, and he nods in acknowledgement of it.

“Did Isabel and Furlan like them?” You ask, unsure of what else to talk about.

“They liked them too much,” he whines. “Begged me for the recipe and everything.”

“I don’t have one written down, but I can do that on a napkin while we wait for our food,” you offer.

“That’d be nice,” he says. You nod, and then your group of six are guided by a hostess.

The rest of the night is a whirlwind, spurred by Hange’s excitement to celebrate their boyfriend’s birthday with their other friends present. You hand Moblit his brownies, and like the saint he is, he thanks you before splitting it up between everyone at the table. You, Levi, and Erwin refuse them, but he insists that he’d rather share than have to take so many of them home.

You aren’t able to write out the recipe on a napkin as promised because the napkins are fabric, but after figuring out the measurements for a more… manageable batch, you text the information to Levi.

Levi does actually call over the waitress to bring over paper napkins for you, just like when you both came here on Valentine’s Day, and you thank him before starting to tear at the paper. You hand that one to Levi, and instead of rejecting it like you expect him to, he takes it and waits for you to make yours so he can follow along again.

When the food eventually comes to your table, all six of you can do is eat in silence to savor the expensive taste as well as you can. There’s no drinking tonight, probably because everyone drove here in smaller groups and it’d be too inconvenient to figure out how to get home, but it’s still lively and exciting.

Towards the end of the night, you and Hange slip away to “the bathroom” to tell the waitress that it’s Moblit’s birthday and to pick Erwin’s credit card, and when you come back, you both have to act surprised when the whole restaurant starts singing Happy Birthday and when Erwin gets fucked by the expensive bill.

Levi seems to catch on that you’re responsible for Erwin losing the roulette, but he only rolls his eyes and doesn’t make a scene out of it.

When everything’s paid for and everyone’s back outside, just about ready to part ways for the night, Hange winces.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

They nervously go to scratch behind their ears. “Do you think you could find another ride home? I totally forgot to tell you, but I’m going over to Moblit’s to, uh,” their gaze drifts off to their not-so-secret lover, “test some liquor!”

You should’ve expected as much, but it’s no trouble.

Get some, Hange!

You wave them off, and you look around at the group. “I’m sure least one of them have a seat to spare.”

They wrap you in a warm hug, nearly crushing you, and you return the gesture with just as much enthusiasm. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much!”

You try to wiggle out of their grip after a while, but they don’t really let up, instead rocking back-and-forth with you still in their arms.

Their grip on you finally loosens up when Levi comes up to you, and he practically has to pry them off of you before they let go. You thank him, and Hange’s off to go… test liquor with Moblit, the two of them headed for where Hange parked their car.

Erwin chimes in first. “Mike and I live in the opposite direction, so you can go with Levi.”

“Is that okay with you?” You ask him.

Instead of answering, Levi goes to stomp (lightly) on your toes, and you take that as a yes.

You and Levi give your goodbyes to the other two men, and you follow him to his car.

This sure does feel like a repeat of Valentine’s Day. It's parked in the exact same spot.

When you’re both in the car and about ready to leave, he hands you the receipt, telling you that Erwin forgot to take it before he left. You thank him for the paper, and you promptly start tearing and folding it.

The ride is completely silent, again, with only the sound of crinkling paper filling the vehicle, but it’s comfortable. Almost alarmingly so.

You drop the stars into the palm of Levi’s hand when he’s parked at the curb of your building, he reaches over to put them away in his glove box, and nothing is said other than a “get home safe” from the both of you.

When you get safely inside your apartment, you don’t even know what you’re supposed to do.

At least when you were constantly anxious and high-alert around Levi, you could at least find reason to denounce those feelings and get rid of them.

Maybe you should ask Erwin to give you extra work this week to distract yourself.

Who are you kidding, you definitely aren’t going to do that.

Still, when you go to sleep that night, you wish for more opportunities to skip on thinking about it entirely, and even more opportunities to just enjoy the feeling while it’s there.

✰

Both fortunately and unfortunately, your wish is granted to you.

Unlike last week, this week is fast. It rushes past you, works you as hard as it can, and spits you out without so much as a “thank you” for your efforts.

Erwin, bless his heart, apologizes profusely and comes by your office often to check up on you, but you barely spare him a glance whenever he passes through.

The only silver lining in any of this is that Friday comes just as quickly. That and the fact that the hustle and bustle doesn’t give you any time to overthink any of your feelings.

When you go to take your seat on bus 143 at 3:09 PM on Friday, you have to put your head down after you hand Levi his tea. You ask for another rain check, and Levi doesn’t make any fuss about it before taking out his phone to busy himself.

Unfortunately, because there’s a lot of traffic on this particular Friday, there’s plenty of starts and stops, all of which break you out of your resting state. The sounds of city bustle don’t help either. When the bus comes to a sudden halt for what feels like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, you groan and lean your head back, looking up at the ceiling.

You chuckle halfheartedly. “Maybe I should just jump out the window and walk the rest of the way home.”

Levi scoffs next to you. “We’re still in the city, you might as well stay here until Monday.”

“That’d be better than getting shaken awake every three seconds.”

“You were sleeping?"

“I wasn’t, but I can’t really rest with the traffic. My briefcase isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world either.” You sigh and prop your elbow on your lap, resting your head on your hand. “So, how was your week? We might as well talk if I can’t keep my eyes closed.”

He doesn’t say anything, so you naturally turn to look at him. He’s propping up his backpack straighter on his lap, and he slides his phone into the front pocket.

He turns to look at you when that’s done, and the two of you hold eye contact before he looks away and out the window in front of your seats.

“You can rest on my shoulder.”

You lazily shake your head. “No, it’s okay. That’s probably uncomfortable for you, and you seem tired enough from work.”

“You literally look like you’re about to fall forward,” he scolds. “And no talking, you need to rest.”

“Geez, you make it sound like I’m sick or something,” you joke.

“Picked it up from you,” he contests.

You follow his gaze out towards the window, and you hum. “But it’s okay, I can stay up.” As if on cue, you have to yawn, and you can see Levi shake his head out of the corner of your eye.

Before you can bark out something to dismiss any further scolding, you hear him turning towards you again. You wait, still staring out the window, but you watch as his left hand reaches over to push your head gently onto his right shoulder.

It feels awkward, honestly, and you kinda want to laugh.

You’d think the touch was romantic, but it hardly is when he struggles to reach over the backpack in his lap and your briefcase, and the bumps of the roads that knock you back-and-forth hardly do anything to help the atmosphere either.

But still, the act has you breaking out into a shy smile.

Had it been months ago, you probably would’ve passed out then-and-there from just his touch alone, but you don’t feel any red creeping up at all.

Just a quiet, comfortable glow in your chest, and a smile that acts as a silent thanks to him for lending you his shoulder for the rest of the ride.

He pulls his hand away from your head, and he reorients himself to look outside again, and he sits up straight against the back of the seat. You don’t dare move your head away, instead just slightly turning to look at his face, and you close your eyes once you see that he's comfortably settled back into his seat.

“So, how was your—”

“Just shut the fuck up,” he mumbles.

You sleepily hum. “You like silencing women?”

He groans. “Fuck off.”

You laugh and shake your head, position permitting. You close your eyes, and you hum to yourself as you try to find your sleep.

Yeah, you can figure out your feelings later.

You know you definitely shouldn’t be continuing to put off the emotionally daunting task, but you definitely don’t want to confront anything right now.

You still think it’s weird, that much hasn’t changed. And this is definitely not normal. That much is apparent, more so now than before when you were first starting to question things halfheartedly.

All you need to know is that here, with him, you’re comfortable.

For you, it’s enough to know that. Even if it isn’t, you’re okay with not knowing anything else, so you'll just spend the next... however many minutes left of your ride through the traffic, with him, trying to imprint the comfort that he gives you into yourself as well as you can.

✰

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