#hes an all you can eat buffet
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@itsonlypolite
@wrathful-banette
TEEHEE OK
so. i forgot to say. skeptic IS a detective. a pi. a gumshoe. a dick, if you will. but i guess thats sort of implied already. i just wanted to state it clearly.
but anyways.
this whole thing was made bc im so fucking insane about the cage chapter. the themes about being a slave to fate and how our actions are not our own and losing control of yourself and your life. just. ugh. it speaks to me a lot. and ofc skeptic being an old timey detective is so universal. i joke about hating him but i Do like him and find him interesting. i want to put him in situations.
and thats what this whole au is. putting skeptic in situations. hearing new perspectives, having his theories proven wrong, dealing with uncooperative suspects, red herrings. i love when hes wrong or ignored or otherwise slighted. he seems very. sure of himself? not an arrogant fool, but more. a guy who hasnt been wrong before. ykno. and i think ur typical film noir (with slay the princess elements like cycles and fate) is just a really natural fit to explore all that.
but its Also about playing with the whole "perception based creature" thing that the princess has going on. i Love "character nobody really knows" and the princess, with her multiple forms and fluid personality, works Rlly rlly well with this concept. i love the princess and i think she deserves to be a mysterious "haunting the narrative" type character. shes like a spy with multiple disguises. or someone in witness protection.
and also bartender hero lives in my mind like a parasite. oh my god that reminds me i need to talk about the others ok.
hero is the bartender (as stated before) of "the long quiet" bc i think its funny theyre still in tlq even in this silly film noir au.
stubborn is the bouncer/bodyguard/whatever the fuck you call it. he kicks ppl out when they get too rowdy.
cheated is The regular there. he either sits at a table and mopes or gets roped into a card game with opportunist that results in both of them being kicked out (theres always blood drawn).
opportunist is a conman/snake oil salesman whos only still allowed bc hero is too nice and opp is too good at buttering ppl up.
smitten is a tortured artist, lamenting to anyone who will listen about his lost love and muse. he is never paying his damn tab, but again, hero is too nice.
cold is a mysterious figure who only visits the bar like. once a month. he barely talks to anyone and only drinks water. (hes an assassin LOL)
broken is the local priest (the god is shifty btw) who only visits bc hero told him to get out more. he doesnt drink either. he just looks vaguely haunted.
contrarian is a guy whos hard to pin down. you cant find him, you just have to pray he appears ykno. the only people who Know him are hero and cold, but hero refuses to divulge anything abt him and cold is just. Cold. ykno.
paranoid is skeptic's partner (lol) and secretary. he does half the work around the office (maybe more) and lives with skeptic. he complains and protests and threatens to quit, but its all bark. hes very loyal. to his own frustration.
now im going to be honest. hunted is Super difficult to put in this au. given his role as a fight or flight, base animal instinct type, he cant be fit into an au like this very easily. ive considered a hunter, but that doesnt fit him at all. so. im a hack and i should delete my tumblr.
but no seriously hunted is very difficult. ALSO. THE NARRATOR. ive been thinking if i should add him and how prevelant he should be and what he would be like. if he should be in the bar or if skeptic would need to meet him somewhere else. maybe hes the villain ykno. but im. not sure and i dont wanna make the whole thing Too big ykno. i swear its not just bc i dont like him (joke (hes fun to hate (but also i hate him), i genuinely am stuck on what to do with him.
anyways. thats pretty much it. i dont wanna derail this post with. yaoi ramblings. so ill keep it close to my chest. also b4 u ask, im. not going to make this a fic or anything. i dont have the energy for something like this and im not very. good at writing longform anyway. i much prefer tiny drabbles. and anyways, its kinda. rlly unfinished cuz ive been too busy thinking too hard about minor details.
listen to 3 time tony winner, broadway classic, city of angels with music by cy coleman, lyrics by david zippel, and book by larry gelbart. thanks.
I ALMOST FORGOT. theyre still birds đ. yayyyy đ
#slay the princess#hero is mentioned a lot in this post bc. hes like jesus christ#a saint#an angel#everyone wants him. everyone wants to be him.#jesus WISHES he had as loyal a following as hero slay the princess#hes an all you can eat buffet#Sorry im done. im normal.#im hungry all of a sudden
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The childlike penmanship and utter abundance of hiragana and katakana that has its own implications aside, I was going to talk about how sweet and sad it was that the only kanji Shouma knows is "mother" (æŻ). But then someone told me he also knows the kanji for "help [me]" (ć©)...that certainly adds to the context of Shouma's memories of his mother mainly being shrouded in fear
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kr.gavv: episode 1#gavv spoilers#(thanks to lucy for telling me about the ć© bc i couldn't read shouma's handwriting for that part ^^;#+ haven't gotten around to reading the letter while listening to the voiceover ^-^ <3)#the memories so far consist of: 1) she's warning him to not eat evil gummies#2) screaming as she gets eaten 3) throwing herself over a terrified shouma when they got cornered; and#4) while this isn't an on-screen memory she only taught shouma æŻ and ć© because his mum is all he has on a planet filled with pg cannibals#...no wonder he had that panic attack :D *i* would probably have a panic attack#poor boy i hope you can live in a warm safe home and have access to an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet :(#cough right after you snap like a twig once or twice coUGH
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I've never seen dungeon meshi but it's all over my dash so here are the characters from what I've gathered:
Autistic hungry man
The sister of autistic man (also autistic)
The bad bitch the sister pulled by being autistic
đđđ (evil? twink)
Gimli from lord of the rings
A dad who loves his family very much and hates being in the dungeons idk how he ended up there but he definitely wishes he was home
#also i know blond autistic man is there to eat#but where did the rest come from???#like i know this show has some sort of plot but it seems to me like#they heard good reviews from this all you can hunt buffet-dungeon and things? happen? maybe?#also blue-eyed twink is probably deranged like he is clinically insane#and gimli is the actual sweetheart of the show#dungeon meshi#m ya callate
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I am living for all of the thirsty tags you guys add when you reblog my shit. Absolutely unhinged. Never change, friends.
#Im adding my favorites in the tags get ready XD#anonymously of course but no shame you guys seriously i love you all!!!#is it possible to die from yearns#i want to lick every drop of sweat off his body#insert ''god i wish that was me'' meme#absolutely feral#that face and look feel illegal#i am unwell#I'm fine#this is fine#everything is fine#i need this man to go down on me while gale fucks him ok i think that would be healing#biting him biting him biting him#heâs so handsome I want to slap him#that second to last picture finna make me PASS OUT#he needs to be stopped#or he needs to [redacted] me#you better STOP#UUUGGGGHHHHH FUCK I WANNA BITE HIM#I'm going to crush him#i'm ruined for all other men for the rest of my life#i want 2 bite him#stop smiling at me like that ill kill us both#what dat tongue do#what dat mouf do???#that look in his eyes is straight up pornographic#thatâs the look of a man about to feast#and Lord I want to be an all-you-can-eat buffet#the druid speaks
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#columbo#season 6#old fashioned murder#he's looking at the all you can eat chinese buffet#before they kick him out for emptying the kung pao beef tray
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hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute
#so when i say hell on earth kinda day i mean HELL ON EARTH kinda day#we had a large bus travel group from slovakia and then some other guests and it was almost a hundred people for breakfast#the bus group all came at the same time they descended onto the buffet like fucking seagulls i swearrrrr#and i divided tasks like i had two helpers with me in the kitchen so one guys job was just to gather dirty dishes + washing + taking clean#ones back out#and the other guy running around the buffet checking whats needed + restockjng the cold food + telling me all the hot stuff that needs#refilling. so i was in the kitchen making all the hot foods on constant rotation + chopping fruits and making smoothies and shit#and like we managed. WE MANAGED. the buffet was never even half empty at any point like yes there was always something that was empty but#dude who cares if the vanilla yoghurt is empty for 5 mins just pick something else.#and everyone was happy with their breakfast and really nice when asking if we have more of this and that etc and then there was one lady#this ONE FUCKINGGGG lady i swear i almost threw hands#she was complaining about everythinggggggggggg#about there not being any more fried eggs (already in the pan. done in 2 mins. but when helper nr2 told her that she said well why did we#run put in the first place) about the bread station being full of crumbs like girl its BREAD. my giy was running up and down the buffet#wiping it off and cleaning as fast as he could but if you allow people to cut their own bread there will be fucking crumbs. the fuck.#then she also didnt like how the butter looked bc OBV people kept using the butter and no matter how many times you go in and make it look#neat again as soon as the next person takes some it will not look picture perfect anymore#like while i was running back and forth restocking stuff with my arms full she TOOK MY ARM and pointed at things and was like#'this looks shit' so does your fucking face but you dont see me getting physical about it#and then when i came out with a big tray of fresh glasses and cups she pointed to where someone had spilled some water at the dispenser and#went 'there is water on the buffet' (far away from any food + literally its just water) and i said 'yes i know' and she goes 'well it doesnt#look very appealing. this is the worst buffet ive ever seen' and i go 'well surely you have seen how busy we are' and she FUCKING GOES#'i dont care. i paid money for this.' and i go 'well that makes two of us for not caring. we'll get to it when we have the time.' and she#said something else idk what bc i was finished with my task and had SHIT TO DO BC PPL WERE STILL EATING#so i just turned and ran back to the kitchen to keep working#actually i got back to the kitchen and said to guy nr1 'i need to go punch something' and then went out the back and started kicking the#shit out of a pile of paper boxes and THEN i continued working#and then she started TAKING PICTURES of everything she didnt like of the buffet like full offense i hope she gets hit by a bus#like with some people you can just tell they never worked a day in the service industry and no matter what you do theyll keep complaining#anyways :) tag limit. apparently. so its nap time now. honk shoo snork mimimi and so forth <3
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Some romsaga 2 thoughts for Ton
He manifests monsters, and was kicked out of his home because of it.
Ever since he's been wandering around, not wanted most places because of the danger he poses.
I wonder, though, if that danger might turn into a boon - if you happen to be a monster absorbing hero, perhaps.
#~ wandering curse ~ (ton)#ton the all you can eat monster buffet#idk why he would manifest monsters in the case of romsaga but#maybe it was a spell meant to protect his village
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The last time I played even a little bit of Skyrim was during a summer 2020 pandemic fugue and yet I still periodically get walloped upside the head by brief unlooked-for fits of Ulfric Stormcloak Fascination. Absolute catastrophe of a man but in such interesting and varied ways. Geological strata of fuckery.
#WHAT a character. and sketched surprisingly lightly too#depth is neither a particular strength of the medium nor of bethesda generally nor of the game specifically which often feels unfinished#nevertheless in this case (despite being measured in inches) the characterization to the square inch is aspirational#(or maybe heâs just a huge mess and i like messes lmfao)#heâs got daddy issues heâs got religion issues heâs got gender issues heâs got raging ptsd and a guilt complex you can see from spaceâŠ#heâs a walking sunk cost fallacy heâs a calculating politician heâs an incurable stupid romantic heâs a hypocrite heâs a true believer#heâs a victim heâs a perpetrator heâs a revolutionary heâs an aspiring ethnonationalist monarch heâs an embodied theological disputeâŠ#truly an all you can eat buffet!!!#skyrim#my posts
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jon said:
#hes just like me fr#'youve got your dads timing buddy' KILLS ME#every couple of months dc says heres a new next gen for u to mentor dg#and every few months i say thank you sir may i have another and eat that shit up like im at a buffet#but ALSO dick saying 'FINE. fine. fuck it just kill me.' to mohawk sla.de to die for the titan.s safety i.....#need to lay down. jon said my hands look like THIS (shot at) so that yours can look like THIS (alive)#I WILL ANSWER those asks today and this weekend actually tho#but also also also i am hungry for some different threads so if u have a wishlist PLS hmu#other verses/evil verses/aus i would like to see it all#* i'd love to write but that's just not realistic / ooc.
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the british have to stop trying to cook this is hell
#99.txt#maddi is the only one. but their power can only do so much....#gordon ramsay could also do it and what does he do now ??? spend all his time in america#tried to eat itsu ramen after a year on shin ramyun. biggest mistake of my life. yucky disgusting#looked at their site and its all white dudes who went to japan once#dont ppl immigrate to england ??? and no one wants to start a restaurant ???#tbf theres chinese places but they do it like. to suit a british palette. its not like how they do it in america for sure#which i know isnt like ''authentic'' in america but its GOOD TASTING#and then every other asian cuisine in england is either the aforementioned white dudes or chinese food in disguise#actually the indian food is rly good. the ONE thing thats really good#tried a thai place... ''huh its ok but it tastes like chinese food not thai''#i look and the place has chinese owners đ€·ââïž#i used to have a thai neighbor who got pissed at me for eating at a thai place run by laotians...#bestie if u could see how they do it in england youd hurl#dont even get me started on mexican food....... ive never been so far from mexico in my life and it sucks#and in america. ppl immigrate from mexico and south america to basically everywhere. especially in the southern half of the country#so the mexican food will ALWAYS be good#over here.......... no chance OTL#AND THEY CANT EVEN GET THE AMERICAN FOOD RIGHT OVER HERE#i tried barbecue ....... đ«đ«đ#you cant just cook meat and put heinz bbq sauce on it (nasty btw) and call it barbecue !!!!!!!!!! thats not what it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love barbecue but any bottled or packaged bbq sauce is always gonna be so so gross#i neeeeed to go to a musty buffet with a bunch of 90yo southern ladies PLEASE#bro im closer to italy than ive ever been but i cant even get good italian#I CANT EVEN GET A GOOD PIZZA......#pizza is the one thing im non-foodie about i dont want your wood fired margherita you demon. away from me#nowhere to go to get a regular ol cheesy pizza đ¶ââïžđ¶ââïžđ¶ââïž#this is gona sound so dumb but honestly greggs is the most normal pizza ive had my entire time here#and its like. one step away from school cafeteria pizza#actually theres one good italian place but ive had it twice and its made me completely shit myself both times. so maybe not the best bet
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yes, heâs evil, but Jakotsu saying, âLeft out again. Everyone here is so selfish,â is still going to make me feel bad for him.
#inuyasha#jakotsu#queue#heâs not wrong. theyâre at an all you can eat buffet and thereâs a handful of things on the menu that he likesâ and theyâre taking ALL#of it and leaving him with the one thing he Doesnât Like
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Bear comes and manages to avoid Blackout and Frost noticing him getting up on the roof. (How is Blackout, the worried brother he is, somehow being blind to this? Who knows.) Meanwhile, Bloodhound goes back inside via the secret tunnels and tells Blackout, "Maybe Katie went to the ranch to see her girlfriend? You should go look."
Katie might have scars, but at least she's going to get medical aid by a doctor who is much gentler than Stone. Bear will even give her a lollipop afterwards if she wants, because he believes that lollipops help to distract from the pain no matter how old someone is. And he tells her all about when to wrap her hands in new bandages so her hands don't get infected and all about how to take care of her burned hands so that they heal nicely.
hfghjdks not bloodhound trying to lead away blackout,,, i do think it'd be funny if they ran into each other right as blackout was about to leave,,
katie: bye blackout :) haha,,,, o/!
blackout: bye katie <3 *closes door*
blackout:
blackout: wait hOLD ON-
and katie 100% takes the lolipop,, you can never go wrong w that !!!
also. "by a doctor who is much gentler than stone",,, i now wanna hear what stone would have done. because im nosy like that,,,
anyways she does still also have a whole kitchen to fix up and clean and probably a new stove to buy too before rosemary gets back. oh no.
#sorry i saw this and then stared at a spider for 10 minutes. maybe more.#<- lil guys at an all you can eat buffet with how many tiny lil bugs hes caught already lol#response#the-whispers-of-death
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THE TAG????? SKSKSS SO REALLLL THO đđđ
thank you so so much for reading and the reblog my loveđ„ș love uuuu so much!!!!!!đ€
SLYTHERINSLUT0âS RIDDLEMAS
dec 10th. tom riddle â oral sex, experienced!tom.
RIDDLEMAS MASTERLIST. I 2024
summary: your ex couldnât make you orgasm, so you were certain you were broken. tom shows you just how wrong you are.
warnings: 18+, SMUTTT MDNI, tom riddle can eat me alivâsorry who tf said that?, tom riddle is such a realist; he sees a problem and he finds a solution, tom is a munch, praise kink, oral f!receiving, experienced tom, hufflepuff!reader.
Months pass, and your project remains the only thing Tom ever prioritizes when it's you asking.
Progress is slowâslow because you're usually far too busy talking to actually focusâyet, he always stays. He listens, even when the things you say should bore him, even when they mean nothing at all. He sits thereâgiving you hardly the barest scraps of himself in return as you fill the space between you with everything that crosses your mind.
Things he'd never waste a second hearing from anyone else.
And tonight, to no-one's surprise, you're doing it againârambling on about nothing and everything all at once. You've got this way of talkingâweaving tangents into something almost poetic, and usually, he lets it fade into the background as he works. You're saying something about the differences between the seasons, or maybe it's just some other kind of sentimental nonsenseâat this point, he's not entirely sure.
It's easy to tune out. He tells himself he's not really listening.
Untilâ
"Actually, I guess I should clarify thatâit's all hypothetical. I don't date," he doesn't know what you said before this, but he's certainly intrigued by it now. "And really, it has nothing to do with like, self esteem or anything, I'm just broken. Best to save someone the trouble."
That stops him cold. It's not so much the declaration that you don't dateâhe could have guessed that himselfâbut more so the way you've just called yourself broken.
It's not a word he's ever heard you use before.
"What do you mean, broken?" He asks, the question coming out far more blunt than he probably intended.
It just seems so out of character for youâyou've always been an optimist, far too annoyingly positive to speak of anything this way. He blinks when you freeze, and blinks again when a moment of self consciousness seems to pass over your faceâand he notes how that's a first for you, too.
"Broken...as in, uh, not normal," your eyes flit down to your lap, tracing the wood beneath where you're seated on the floor in his dorm. "My ex made that very clear in his assessment of me."
The mention of an ex is something he'd been anticipatingâyou're in your twenties, after allâbut it's the idea that your ex is the source of you calling yourself broken, that he can't quite swallow.
"You're 'broken' because of one ex?" He says, and he can't stop how derisive and skeptical his voice sounds. He doesn't care to try. "I'm not following."
"I'm what you'd call, damaged goods, I think," you murmur, and there's an almost self-deprecating smirk on your face. He can't help but think how he's never seen that look on you, either. "I've got a slew of unhealthy baggage that comes along with me. You know, childhood traumas, abandonment issues, daddy issuesâ"
He snorts at thatâdaddy issuesâand your head snaps up, smirk deepening despite yourself.
"Don't snort at my daddy issues," you huff, and there's a familiar annoyance in your voice that puts him at ease. "They're valid and real."
"I'm not denying their validity," he counters, his own smirk beginning to surface. "But daddy issues? Come on. You're not some tired cliché ripped out of a teenage romance novel. I refuse to accept your declaration of brokenness until you give me factual reasoning."
You laugh at thatâalive and genuineâand for a moment, he's reminded of why he even tolerates you in his space at all.
"Fine," you cross your arms over your chest. "What do you want to know then?"
He makes a low, contemplative sound at thatâbecause there's a million questions that come to mind with the words damaged goodsâand after a moment, he settles on the one that falls out first.
"What is it, precisely, that makes you broken?"
You sigh, a bit theatricallyâhe knows you're just putting on a show and he wants to laugh at you for itâbut he reigns that in, for now, while you figure out how you're going to respond to that.
The truth is, you don't know how to tell him the real reason you're brokenâthe part that has nothing to do with the laundry list of emotional baggage you could rattle off with ease. It's something...different.
Something more physical.
"I don't know, okay?" You're getting defensive. You're not sure why but you are. "Justâforget I said anything. We have this assignment toâ"
"You dodging the question tells me it's more than just psychological," he cuts you off, leaning back into the couch. The way he's looking at you makes it clearâthere's no way he's letting this go. "You getting defensive tells me you're embarrassed by it."
You sigh again, leaning back on your palms to mirror his body language, though it doesn't feel half as natural on you as it does on him.
"And you, being an insufferable arse, is telling me I never should have mentioned it in the first place."
His smirk at that makes you want to glare at him.
"Stop dodging," he says. "You brought it up. You don't get to take it back."
It's a challengeâthe gleam in his eyes is practically screaming so. You're not sure why the sight of it makes something low in your stomach clench, and you're even less sure of why you want to tell him something like thisâsomething you haven't told anyone elseânot friends, certainly not family.
Whatever the reasoning, you can feel yourself relent.
"Maybe," you pause, the look on his face makes you second guess yourself. "...maybe I don't want to tell you because I'm afraid you'll look at me differently." You glance down at your lap, fingers twitching against the yellow pleats of your skirt before finally meeting his eyes again. "And I kind of like the way you look at me now."
Something like curiosity passes over his expression at thatâbut it's quickly hidden by the type of skepticism that tells you he still doesn't believe you're being serious.
"You're overthinking it," he replies, unmoving. "Whatever it is you think you're going to tell me, I'm not going to look at you differently. You're still youâno filter, unabashedly verbalâ"
"Too verbal. Too positive, too loud," you finish his sentence for himâbecause you know that's how he thinks of you. "Too annoyingly optimistic. Far too hufflepuff for your cold snake skin. I know."
"Exactly," he says, tongue running over his bottom lip in attempt to quell his smirk. "So I reiterate. There's nothing you could tell me that would change that."
"Fine," you relent, giving in begrudgingly because you know there's no other option. "But don't say I didn't warn you."
He just lifts a hand at that, as if to say; whatever you think it is, I can handle it. The action makes you suck a breath into your lungs, trapping it there.
"You're right," you say after a long exhale. "I have a slew of psychological bullshit that would take the span of a year for me to fully go over in one sittingâbut, I'm fine with it. That's...that's not the thing that made me call myself broken."
He says nothing, just makes a motion with his eyes for you to keep going.
"It's, uhm...physical." You whisper, and your brain is moving too much and too fast and you're not even completely sure how to say it without sounding insane. "And...I don't know, I just...I can't orgasm. No matter what. I just can'tâit's frustrating and embarrassing and it's the reason my ex ended things."
There's a silence that follows, and he knows if it were anyone else, they'd probably find a way to comfort you. Reassure you. Tom, however, isn't anyone elseâ
"You're joking," he says, and his tone is incredulous again.
A self-depreciating laugh leaves your lips involuntarily, the sound of it making you almost want to cringe.
"Would it be less embarrassing if I was?"
He's still just watching you, dissecting your words as if waiting for you to crack a smile and confess this was all some stupid jokeâand the vulnerability of it aches like a stab to the gut.
"This is the reason you think you're broken?" Is what he goes with when he finally realizes you're being serious. "Because you havenât orgasmed?"
The bluntness of it makes you flush, makes you wish you could sink into the floor. "I know it's not normal, okayâ"
"It's not an abnormality, either," he asserts, with casualty. "You might just have a disconnect."
You blink, caught off guardânot just by his choice of words, but by how matter-of-fact he sounds, like this isn't the mortifying confession it feels like.
"A disconnect?"
"A disconnect," he repeats, looking you over, something clinical slipping into his eyes. "Between mind and body. And considering how loud your thoughts areâ"
"Heyâ" you snap, suddenly feeling a bit indignant, but he just continues on.
"âit's not surprising that you can't get out of your own head."
You open your mouth to argue, to tell him he's not a therapist, so what the hell does he know? But the certainty in his expression makes you pause. He doesn't look patronizing or condescending, just...assured. Like he knows exactly what he's talking about.
You hesitate, lips parting, a protest forming on your tongue. Before you can say anything, though, he raises a hand to stop you.
"Come here," he says, standing up from the couch.
You blink, trying to decipher what the hell he's implyingâbecause if anything, the last thing that's going to make you less paranoid about intimacy is proximity.
"What?"
He just looks at you, making a motion with two fingers, beckoning you to stand.
"Don't ask questions. Just come here."
It's an order, and it makes your spine tingle in a way that's definitely not comfortableâbut you get up from the floor, and move closer to him anyway, closing the distance between you with only a few steps until you're close enough to him that you can practically feel the heat that seems to come off him in waves.
It's weirdâhe's suddenly too much all at onceâyou're so much more aware of him being in front of you than you think you've ever been before and it does not help that he's just looking at youâas if studying youâblinking only once as he raises those same two fingers to your neck, resting them against the pulse point at your throat.
Your entire body tenses. His touch is far more gentle than you ever imagined it being, something disarming that makes your pulse beat faster against his fingers as a resultâand because this is Tom, with all his smug and certaintyâhe gives you a look that tells you he can feel it before he slides his fingers up to rest on your forehead.
You scowl at the motion, but he clicks his tongue, the sound as condescending as it is amused.
"I told you, you're an overthinker." He murmurs, eyes dipping to your lips. "Too much noise."
You want to refute thatâmostly because you're not overthinking, you can't beâhe's just so unequivocally overwhelmingâ
"I'm notâ"
You start, but he moves his fingers from your forehead and places them against your lipsâ
"Quiet." He scolds, and that makes something low in your stomach clench. "Your body knows what to do. You're just letting your thoughts get in the way."
You long to protest again, just for the sake of defianceâbut then his fingers are against your collarbone, and that motion in your stomach becomes a bit more of a squirmâ
"Your body is trying to tell you something," he whispers, watching each little hitch in your breath. "But you're too busy talking over it to hear what it's saying."
You realizeâwith a sort of horror that's laced with something a little more uncomfortableâthat he's right. Your body is trying to say something. It's communicating through the unsteady force of your breaths, through the clench of your fists against your skirtâ
Of course, he notices. He's noticing far too much.
"Relax," he murmurs, and now he's trailing those same two fingers in an unhurried path down your shoulder. You suddenly regret every decision that led to you wearing a T-shirt. "I'm not going to bite you."
Something about the way he says it makes you wish he wasn't quite so convincingâthe familiar banter you long for gone with the sharp exhale that comes out of your mouth as his fingers encircle your wristâ
"Your pulse is racing," he says casually, far too casually for how much effort it's taking you not to scream. "Does that seem broken to you?"
Godsâyou want to respondâyou really, really doâ but your thoughts flatline when you realize his touch has shifted. He's no longer just holding your wrist; he's guiding your hands to rest against his chest, andâ
"There you go," he whispers, and the tone of it tells you he knows exactly what it is he's doing to you. "See? Your body's doing exactly what it's meant to do. Youâ" his fingers trail up your arms, and his voice gets lower. "âare not broken."
You swallow hard, acutely aware of your hands on his chest and the way your palms are clammy against the fabric of his shirt. He's shifting you now, deliberately crowding you, and it's only when you feel the edge of the couch press against the back of your calves that you realizeâperhaps a second too lateâexactly what it is he's doing.
You stumble back onto the leather, and he followsâcrushing his lips to yours.
You gasp, startled, because despite everything you truly hadn't seen this coming. The kiss is messy, clumsy, and his hand finds the nape of your neck, tugging at your hair with just enough force to make it sting. And inevitably, when you gasp again, he takes it as an invitation to work his tongue into your mouth, other hand slipping under your shirtâtrailing up your stomach.
You're trembling now, and he makes a low sound at the realization. Your brain is racing to catch up, and the irony of this isn't lost on youâhe'd just claimed you weren't broken, but he might as well be destroying you himself.
He parts from your lips only to trail his own across your jawâ
"You're shaking," he murmurs with a smirk against your throatâas if he's taking immense pleasure in the factâyou hate how smug it makes him sound. "Do you want me to stop?"
You want to tell him he's being a bastard, but then his lips press to that spot on your neckâthe one that makes your breath hitch and your pulse stutterâand you find yourself whimpering at the sensation.
"No," you breathe, and you'd be embarrassed by the pleading tone in your voice if you weren't so lost in the moment. "Don't stop."
He makes another low, satisfied noise at that.
"Good," he whispers. "No thinking. Just feel."
You swallowâthroat dry. It's unfair how easily he's dismantling you with nothing but his mouth and hands. Unfair how he's leaving you breathless and unraveling while somehow making you feel seen in a way you can't explain, even with your eyes shut.
"Tom," you find yourself whimpering, and you aren't even sure what you're asking forâyou just know you want more as his lips trail lowerâas his fingers work to tug down your skirt. "Gods."
"Shh. Feel me," he murmurs, almost possessively, his lips brushing lower, grazing over your stomach, then your pelvis. "Let your body do the talking."
You've got your hands tangled in his hair before you even know what you're doing, and you hate the fact that you're pretty sure you'd melt into a puddle if he weren't holding you together.
"I feel you," you whimper as he kisses lower. "You're all I feel."
He makes another low sound at that, and you just know it's the response of âyeah, thatâs rightââbut then he's between your legs, panties shifted out of the way, and the first sweep of his tongue against your clit makes all coherent thought shift to static.
"Oh! God," you gasp, the word barely escaping before dissolving into a whimper when he does something with his tongue that makes your vision blur. "Tomâoh, fuck."
He just makes that smug, satisfied noise against you again before his tongue swirls over your clit and you find yourself almost cursing whatever deity made him so good at this, because it's not fair how quickly he reduced you to a whimpering, shaking mess beneath him andâ
"Don't stop," you find yourself babbling, digging your nails into his scalp and knowing you look like a goddamn wreck as he makes a meal out of youâtongue lapping up your slick and swirling your clit before sealing his lips around it and forcing your back off the leather beneath it. "Please, don't stop, pleaseâ"
It's all you can manage to say. Your thighs are shaking now, and you're sure he's got you dripping all over his face with how soaked you are. He knows you're falling apart and he just keeps goingâ your brain ceasing function in favour of just focusing on how fucking close you areâhow close you are to something you've never felt before in your lifeâand you're not even sure what you're begging for anymore but it's incoherent and loudâ
"I needâ" you whimper, your hands tightening in his hair, pulling just enough to make him groan against you. You don't know what you're asking for, but you know he has it. "I needâI needââ
"Let go," he murmurs against you, the roughness in it vibrating up into your belly. "I dare you."
There's still a little bit of you functioning on autopilot, just enough to tell you that when he murmurs those wordsâvibrations rattling up your cunt and into your chestâyou're completely done for.
Itâs merely a few seconds later that your high reaches its peak and he just keeps lapping as you shake apart beneath him with an intensity you've never felt before in your lifeâorgasm shredding you apart at the seams. Your thighs clamp around his face, your eyes squeezed shut, ears ringing so loud you barely register his low, muttered praises: "good girl," "so good," "there you go."
Youâre fairly positive your legs will never be able to support you again when you finally come back down, feeling entirely like jelly as he pulls back, tongue flicking over his lips to clean off whatever's left of you.
And without thinking, you grab him and pull him up, crashing your lips against his in a messy, desperate kiss. He tastes like you, like him, like something you can't quite describeâand it makes everything feel intense and unbearably real all at once.
He gives you a moment, as if letting you recover, just languidly kissing you backâand you have to be honest with yourself and admit that this kind of makes you want to scream.
"A disconnect," he smirks against your mouth, the tone still smug. You manage a weak smack to his shoulder, though it does nothing to wipe the satisfaction off his face. "Still sure you're broken?"
You hate that he's right. Hate that he's managed to pull a reaction from you that you didn't think was possible. But as you sit there, shaky and spent, you know you can't deny the truth: no, you're not broken.
"Not broken." You whisper back. "You will be though, if you don't stop smirking at me like that."
#bro devours the puthy like an all you can eat buffet#canon coded right there yall#he does nothing in half measures#ugh i love him#heâs so bark worthy#slytherinslut0 loves sallowsswan sm#thank you so much pookie xoxoxo#tom riddle smut#slytherin boys
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Yusuke 1000% feeds Hiei every time he sees him bc that guy is just too damn small and skinny, sure he KNOWS exactly how tough he is but damn it he wants to make sure the guy is eating enough...
#mostly i just genuinely worry about hiei like god damn it hes too skinny!!!!!! give that boy a sammich!!!!#take him to the all you can eat buffet he'll love it
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oooh so did we divorce Bruce, or is this an infidelity type of situation?
a loving family, an unpalatable desire: first meeting (unofficial)
â related post !
a/n: a tad bit nsfw. if this sounds messy, spare me. i'm running on like 4 hours of sleep and the will of a thirsty man in front of an oasis. i told yall im going insane for this plotline. ofc a&a still has my heart but I also love to occasionally write for smth else in the sidelines. send in more asks yall hehe.
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
definitely an infidelity type of situation, anon! you see, the affair was caused by all mere coincidence. you were to attend with bruce in one of lex luthor's extravagant show of a gala, hold his arm for a brief moment when you walk out of the limousine, only to be abandoned right in the middle of the enormous room.
of course, the right reaction was to be pissed, to badmouth the very man who decided to court and entertain others in front of you; but you chose to stay silent, biting back choked tears by stumbling over the buffet table, only to be met with stupid, overbearing paparazzi and journalists.
so when clark kent rushes in to save you from stuttering over the dozens of microphones and cameras shoved right in your face, granting them access to your pathetic sobsâ it's only right that your first reaction was to lean against his body, dismissing the hushed, harsh gossips of journalists.
it was at a time where you're not aware of his identity of superman. well, bruce barely permits you to enter the batcave, only if you stubbornly pester alfred does he let you, only to kick you, his darling spouse right out the moment you step on the cold, hard floors of the lair.
so it's not... a bad thing, right? your husband had a child with another woman, raised him as his own, didn't even bother to notify you with his infidelityâ so is it your fault if you slowly start to fall for a man who promises you the world? who actually has the ability to give you the world in the palm of your hands? whose kid lets you pamper him without any fight?
sure, he's coping with... the loss of his previous wife but you're such a perfect spouse, so undeniably attractive, captivating in the hearts of many. your distant eyes, the way you bite the inside of your cheeks, the way your body sways back and forth as if begging for someone, your husband, to provide you a pillar of support in the suffocating heat of paparazzi.
he could be that pillar, could be your support.
when he first came up to you, his intentions weren't to obtain gossip about the oh-so silent spouse of bruce wayne. he didn't even want to acknowledge your marital status, palms already taking your wrist just so he could lead you off to somewhere quieter.
"it's an interview," he whispers an excuse to your reddened ears. but the buzz of his breath, the warmth, the caged arm on your waist tells you it's more than that.
but you don't fight back, you'd rather be anywhere than be the spotlight of a media that eats you up, makes you doubt your marriage even more.
so you're grateful that someone came to your rescue.
this would be the first time you ever saw someone as a savior, and it's not superman, no. it's clark kent, your resident, widowed, journalist.
and for clark's case, you warm his bed better than anything else. you allow clark this sense of respite, a break from heroic activities. allow him to be human, just as he allows you to play your fantasies of being a house spouse; you're perfect for each other.
to hell with useless marriage papers that don't even give bruce a sense of obligation to act as your husband, right? what can it do, when you're absolutely smitten with the current life you're living?
the first stages of your infidelity with clark is confusing, but very much welcomed into your already hectic life.
firstly, you convince yourself, it was all mere 'emotional cheating'. you began texting clark, he does too. an occasional greeting in messages, a passing congratulation for something, then the next it was good morning messages, 'have you eaten breakfast yet?, 'how'd the appointment go?'.
you don't know when it started, when your feelings started, when you began an intimate to romantic relationship with the manâ all you knew was that the moment he revealed his superhero identity was the moment he decided to bed you for the night, the moment you grant the man, now your partner, access to every part of your depraved body, made him make you beg for more, giving him all the time in the world to kiss your imperfections, to fondle sensitive parts long untouched, to leave lovebites deeper and darker than the ones you caught bruce with.
you can't help it, he's unknowingly handsome, especially when he invites you over to his ma and pa's farm the next day, pretending to not notice the way your eyes hungrily flit over his topless body, sweat and budding pecs encased in a muscled form. over the course of dinner, you kept biting your lips, warm cheeks at the implications that clark merely wanted to sit next to you just so he could handfeed you, something about him being prideful that you'd definitely enjoy this week's harvest... but his fingers circling your thighs just seems to get you brain all haywired.
yet you stay, and continue visiting for long hours either way, enjoying the man's attention.
you know it's wrong, he knows it's wrong. but the way his son, jon looks at you like you mean the world, the way he's slowly starting to heal the longer you stay over at his place makes clark want to... what's the word? ah, he wants to turn you into his loving trophy spouse. all you need to do is provide jon with all the support in the world.
as for bruce... well, him and his family can deal with your absence for the first few months. but when the lingering feeling of emptiness becomes too much, when bruce no longer feels the worried gazes, or when dick can't hear anymore laughter in one of the supposed 'barren' rooms, or when tim's security systems tracked a missing device, one now in a completely different city.
that's when they start to yearn for someone they purposely let go
#đ·... yael's works#đ§... yael's misc.#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere superfam#yandere batman#yandere superman#yandere clark kent#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jon kent#yandere superboy#yandere x reader#yandere angst#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere smut#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere dc#male yandere#anyways why is this post really long ermm#i swear i slept today (lie)#if i turn this into a series istg....
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Stockings make me hungry, too, but for nachos, not poon.
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