#but where did the rest come from???
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I've never seen dungeon meshi but it's all over my dash so here are the characters from what I've gathered:
Autistic hungry man
The sister of autistic man (also autistic)
The bad bitch the sister pulled by being autistic
👁👄👁 (evil? twink)
Gimli from lord of the rings
A dad who loves his family very much and hates being in the dungeons idk how he ended up there but he definitely wishes he was home
#also i know blond autistic man is there to eat#but where did the rest come from???#like i know this show has some sort of plot but it seems to me like#they heard good reviews from this all you can hunt buffet-dungeon and things? happen? maybe?#also blue-eyed twink is probably deranged like he is clinically insane#and gimli is the actual sweetheart of the show#dungeon meshi#m ya callate
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An assortment of damn clowns (affectionate)
#my art#sketch#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc caine#tadc bubble#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#tadc gangle#princess loolilalu#gummigoo#tadc chad#tadc max#martha mildenhall#this was just supposed to be a practice Pomni doodle#where the hell did the rest of you come from
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I love Bai Long Ma he truly don’t gaf
#man stayed present enough to get recruited into the story then peaced tf out for the rest of it ✌️#unbothered king#bai longma#ao lie#journey to the west fanart#journey to the west#jttw ao lie#my only knowledge of drawing horses come exclusively from mlp fanart that has crossed my path#shoulda given ao lie a cutie mark lmao#my favorite part of watching the 80s tv series is seeing them go what will we do now??! whenever they encounter a land obstacle#and look the solution to half their problems standing right next to them in the form of a horse that everyone keeps forgetting is a DRAGON#he truly could not be ASSED to help 😭#just like me fr#digital art#my art#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#dude bajie and wujing had no fucking clue the horse was even a dragon there was one episode where the horse finally spoke to chew bajie out#and he went YOU CAN TALK?!! 😭😭😭#it’s such a pity too cuz I thought the human actor for ao lie was very handsome and he showed up like a total of three times or2#this design was actually very inspired by him#he wasn’t even in the ending scene they left his ass OUTSIDE!!!!#HE GOT A REWARD BUT HE WASNT EVEN IN THE HALL TO RECEIVE IT 💀💀💀💀#oh naaah they did my boy so dirty…#I don’t think he counts as a pilgrim I think they literally just wanted him to be the horse#otherwise he woulda technically been er shixiong?#right after wukong
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Actually it turns out I had more thoughts about that post that I forgot about lol
Would Nightmare actually give up his boys? Yes and no
If it was just a black and white situation of they're miserable, they don't wanna be here, they have somewhere better to be, then yes. He would leave them out to wherever they needed to be despite his own feelings and very quickly realise afterwards just how much he'd gotten used to the noise and company. I think he would get a little clingy with Dream about it, which I'm sure Dream would find very weird after everything but not unwelcome, he did miss his brother after all.
(If he couldn't attach himself to Dream's side for whatever reason, I think he might just sit in his castle and go insane. Or maybe he'd just spend all day at Ccino's trying really hard to project that he just likes the atmosphere and isn't lonely as hell)
But the thing is, most of them don't have somewhere better to be. Horror has his au, and Nightmare would keep up the supply of food even if Horror said he wanted to quit at this point, so he would understandably let him return home. Killer, Dust and Cross effectively don't have aus anymore though, and they tend to get into self-destructive habits when they're left to their own devices. (Obviously bringing Color and Epic into the mix to make sure Killer and Cross are taken care of eases matters, but Dust doesn't really have any friends outside their group he could go stay with - that Nightmare knows about at least).
The flipside of this is that his boys may not necessarily want to be given up. I think if Nightmare got really in his head about this he could easily end up convinced this is the right thing to do without ever asking them if it's what they want, with potentially terrible results. He's established such a pattern of always returning to find Killer when they get seperated, that if he never showed up Killer might just keep sitting there and waiting for him greyfriar's bobby style, refusing to leave because he's certain his boss is coming back.
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#Horror and Dust might take it slightly better but I think they still wouldn't appreciate being rehomed out of the blue with no discussion#Don't get me started on Cross he has such a bad track record with people not showing up for him as it is#If Nightmare left him to live with Epic one day Cross would spend the rest of his life thinking he did something wrong#and wondering what it was that he wasn't worth keeping#I do think the idea of him getting glued to Dream's hip must be funny for Blue tho#''Yes this is the being of all negativity in the multiverse. Don't mind him we're holding hands because he gets seperation anxiety''#I feel like a lot of this could come from Color's suspicion of him. because he's very much on Killer's side from the beginning#And Nightmare wasn't good at the beginning so it's understandable. it's hard to take Killer's word that he's changed because#Killer /would/ say that whether it's true or not y'know?#But I think Color shining a light on how things began makes Nightmare reflect a lot on their situation#Not to say that Color's the bad guy or anything obviously. He's respecting Killer's decisions while also keeping a good level of suspicion#about how Nightmare treats them when he's not around#It just makes Nightmare uneasy because he's made a lot of mistakes in the past and he's still learning#He is - for now at least - very very aware of just how mortal they are#And he wants to do right by them. even if it means giving them up to better places#I need to finish my fanfic... Anyway.#Luckily for him - in this particular case - this is where they are all best suited c:#Alright I let this cook in my drafts for about 3 days with some edits it can be posted now lol
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so this is why you dressed up nice today like fuck off
#this is one of the lines that pops into my head randomly throughout the day and does extreme psychic damage to me every time#if you know how i feel why would you say that etc etc#and every fucking line from the episode 7 hell scenes#like i’ll be going about my day and then BOOM orpheus and eurydice line slaps me in the face#the worst is when i get hit with sorry no version of this where i didn’t come get you is there#and we’ve got literally forever to figure out what the rest means like SHUT UPPPP#if you or a loved one have been personally victimised by charles rowland popping in your head and saying the most devastatingly romantic#shit you may be entitled to financial compensation#genuinely there’s NO REASON for him to be that romantic like WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT#girl who is NOT going to be okay#charles rowland#he is so perfect to me#i mean the only perfect did nothing wrong character is niko like genuinely she’s so perfect#charles didn’t believe women for like one episode like he atoned for it but it still happened#and then him detailing his hook up with crystal when he knew edwin was jealous wasn’t great#but other than that literally perfect did no wrong#yeet my deet#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#dbdshow#yeet my deebd#dead boy detective agency#dbda#payneland#edwin payne#chedwin#charles x edwin
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wild creatures from my sketchbook
#my art#traditional art#<- making this a tag bc i want to pick up traditional art again....#also blease dont think the rest of my sketchbook also looks like this these are the only good pages.#the rest are ugly malformed anatomy sketches#also i think the coloring on the two walruses turned out SO nice i dont know how i did that.#in general i have no idea where this way of coloring comes from i would never be able to do that in digital....#but i somehow manifested this coloring style with markers after not touching them for years
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I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.
#not saying i hate them i just cant get my brain to like them the same way i do all the greasers and the soc girls#excluding bev for some reason melody ily bev ily but i dont latch onto her the same way i do cherry and marcia ���😔😔😔#shout out to all my soc boy mutuals i hope you are having so much fun#the closest i will ever get to caring for the soc boys is randy#man was an asshole tried to kill a kid saw his best friend die went fuck all of this dumped his girlfriend left town and became a hippie#shit start great ending good job randy 👍#this is also why i havent gotten into parry#i love the gays i promise but i did not latch onto paul the way the rest of the fandom did 😔😔#i totally get it i see where yallre coming from i understand#its my ship-in-law ill support parry truthers 4ever#but im a dar-bit truther for life#yes i am also a mar-bit truther#and an aroace darry truther#i win no matter what#but anyways#i am not part of the community i am an ally ✊️✊️✊️#its also fun cuz since i know jack shit i never get annoyed at mischaracterization because i dont know what the correct characterization is#i can see anything about them and go 'yeah sure'#and it could be so out of character#and ill never know#i stay winning#anyways love yall 🫶#although i do think a reason i havent latched onto bev is because i never see anyone talking about her#if you love bev please tell me about her i want to know everything#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#two-bit talks
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i thought I might’ve been misremembering the compassion route!companion quest but like. idk man this just rubs me the wrong way. What do you MEAN it’s no longer their time, they’re still alive, they’re still in pain and confused and trying to seek out their lost children and torn from their dreams what do you MEANNNNNNN!!!!!!
#it’s no longer their time WHAT 😭#they’re not even all dead!!!#if this was a conversation about fearing losing a sense of self to the titans and their connection it would make more sense but like#that’s not what even happened here????#agh#I hate to be that dude but so much of vg feels like it sits in the vein of going now we know the truth we can put gods and spiritualism and#faith as a concept to rest when like.#there’s no real examination of the role this plays in someone’s LIFE#aghhhhhhhhhh#tunes talks critical#there’s no examination of what varric lowkey brings up by accident in his dai banter w solas abt how he doesn’t want to lose the man he is#to whatever the dwarven kingdom was#and it’s interesting and compelling and makes SENSE for varric but I’m just sitting here after#Harding’s story being like where did this come from man#you reject being shaped by the titans’ fury so they deserve to be relegated to the passage of time#they’re still aliveeeeeee
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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How Does it Feel to Read Classic Sci-Fi?
Orson Scott Card: Two of the most interesting books you’ll ever read if you’re willing to look past a handful of things. And then you find the planet of Chinese people who worship having debilitating OCD. And the Mormonism. And the fact that the author is wildly homophobic and ought to read his own books.
Robert Heinlein (or at least the Wikipedia Summaries): I guess that’s a neat concept—oh, it’s a sex thing. Um. Gotcha.
Ray Bradbury: Man, I gotta read this thing for class huh. Well here’s hoping it’s good! *three hours later* oh. that’s why he’s famous. this will stick with me forever and I will never look at the phrase ‘soft rain’ the same again. christ. And then repeat 3x.
Isaac Asimov: Wow, this is such an interesting concept! I wonder how the exploration of it will influence the plot! Wait, hey, are you going to add any characters? Any of em? No like, with character traits other than ‘robot psychologist’ and ‘autistic’ and ‘woman’? None of em? No, ‘detective’ isn’t a character trait. Those are all just facts. Aaaand now I’m bored.
Ursula K. Le Guin: Hah, get a load of this guy! He’s never heard of nonbinary people before. Lol, what a riot; how dumb do you have to be to comprehend that these people aren’t men *or* women actually? Oh, wait, what’s happening. Oh shit, it was about society and love and learning to understand each other? And now I’m crying? And perhaps a better human being for it??
Andy Weir: Alright, this guy’s a really good writer. Funny, creative, knows so much engineering stuff…ooh, a new book! …I guess he can’t write women. Well, he wouldn’t be the first sci-fi writer…ooh another new book! And it’s more engineering problem solving and—wow. It’s not just women he can’t write. Please stop letting your characters talk to each other.
Lois Lowry: Oh, I remember this being fun when I was a kid! Wouldn’t it be fucked up to not see color? …upon reread, it would be fucked up to have your humanity stripped away, replaced with a tepid, beige ‘happiness’ for all time. Yeah.
Tamsyn Muir (let me have this ok): Haha, “lesbian necromancers in space” sounds fun. Lemme read this. Oh wow, yeah, this is right up my alley. OH GOD WHAT. NO. FUCK. OH SHIT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING AND WHY IS IT REFERENCING THE BOOK OF RUTH AND HOMESTUCK BACK TO BACK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! Now give me more please.
#Late night book reviews with Bluejay#Not really#and it’s 1pm#If you’re curious which books#or just wanna read another essay:#Card: Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead are good* and the rest is Fucking Bonkers. Xenocide is the one called out specifically#Heinlein: Stranger in a Strange Land’s Wikipedia page but my understanding is it’s not the only book Like That#Bradbury: short story “There Will Come Soft Rains” will fuck your up; double if you check out the comic. See also “All Summer…” and °F 451#Asimov: I; Robot is the specific ref but also its sequel novels where you’d more expect real characters and not just fact lists also#Le Guin: Left Hand of Darkness specifically but also I just love her lmao#Weir: The Martian then Artemis then Project Hail Mary#Lowry: the only stuff of her’s I’ve read is The Giver Quartet but I was shocked how good it was upon revisiting. Damn. That’s pointed.#Muir: Gideon the Ninth and its sequels. They’re so good. Read them. You will be confused by book two. That’s on purpose. They’re so good.#Yes don’t come at me for my tag formatting; 140 chars isn’t a lot. You try getting all three Bradbury titles in there#Also the lack of commas is an issue#Anyways I would rec basically all of these if you like sci-fi save for SiaSL (haven’t read it) and all of the Ender’s Game/SftD spinoffs#Also if you do wanna read Card’s work pls get the books 2nd hand or from a library. Or via the 7 seas. His money goes to homophobia :(#But most of em are good and all of em are classics for a reason (save for Muir who really should be lmao)#Also also don’t come at me for including Weir; he’s one of the most popular sci-fi authors AND came up in the discussion that prompted this#As did everyone else except Muir because that one is actually just self indulgent.#I worked so hard to tag the first few things such that it would be clear there was an essay beneath the tag cut#Anyways tags for like actual categorization n such:#orson scott card#robert heinlein#ray bradbury#isaac asimov#ursula k. le guin#andy weir#lois lowry#tamsyn muir
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aryu and tokimitsu are so special to me actually
#tokimitsu picking up styl/glam/osha as a manner of speech from him in canon is so cute.#but also i read tokimitsu's egoist bible profile and like. ougghhh. he is so unconfident. i think he thinks aryu is really cool#because he thought aryu was weird at first (he still does‚ a bit) but he admires how unapologetically himself aryu is and wishes he could be#like that. tokimitsu has never worn nail polish in his life and keeps his jair at that length because it's a Normal length no one would#judge him for. and then he meets all these freaks in blue lock who are not scared like he is. but aryu specifically is so flamboyant and#Unashamed it's just incredible to him.#and tokimitsu is like a scraggly baby pigeon to aryu. not quite glam but endearing. they've bonded.#actually aryu would probably rest a hand on tokimitsu's shoulder and be like 'you have strong muscles like a beautiful racehorse. that is#so glam of you.' to which tokimitsu is baffled but a little flattered. anyway i think aryu makes tokimitsu look at pictures of horses. and#they listen to music together. i think they would enjoy each other's favorite songs. and of course aryu would convince tokimitsu to let him#paint his nails so he can stop biting them (it's not stylish). tokimitsu wants to hide his hands afterward but cant help but notice how#his hands aren't so bad to look at with emerald green nail polish on them. it feels nice.#Where did this come from. Goodnight#masayapping#aryu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi
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"And to follow up on Niko Mikkola...his sense of humour with him, like, maybe—lot of people don't talk—like, last night he was like, you know, he "woke Bobby up," or whatever. "Good thing Bob was awake—"
"He's a great personality and I've said this kinda during the year. And we've, you know, I mean we're always—...I was gonna say, "It'd be great if you guys could spend a lot of time with him," but then we spend a lot of time trying to make sure you guys don't spend too much time with our guys, so, there goes—so, forget that! But, he is an incredibly interesting guy. What's great is when he's coming to the bench... if there's something that's broken down, and I'm not sure if he's screaming in Finnish or it's in English, but it is funny as hell! And it's consistent. So, he plays really high-energy level. A lot of times these kinda big, lanky guys are... you don't really think they're moving that fast, but they are! He looks like he's getting across the ice, and, you know, he competes hard. That's what we like the most of him, but he talks at a high-energy level, too, on the bench. And that's great, right? We have some quiet players on our bench, and that's fine, that's who they are. But, those guys like Mikkola, who's got—nobody knows—Well there's four other Finnish guys knowing what he's saying, but nobody else knows what he's saying.
paul loves all his rascals and it is a joy to hear his takes on them its mikksys turn now!
media availability | 6.11.24 (x)
also if you want to see the moment mikksy is talking about in the interviews linked above because it is genuinely bonkers 10 or so seconds of hockey: here it is
#paul maurice#niko mikkola#mention: niko mikkola#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#i had this one in my drafts for such a long time and i completely forgot to post it#whoospie doodle#context this was the day after scf game 2 when they had a rest day and were preparing to fly to edm mikksy in game 2 mishandles the puck#and fires it back to bobby in what couldve been a self goal but bobby made a pad save and mikksy recollects himself behind the net#and books it into the ozone where lundy gives him a sick back pass#and mikksy absolutely buries it into the net in the span of about 10 seconds its genuinely insane#anways mikksy is terribly funny in both eng and fin#paul hyping up mikksy YES PLEASE#“he talks at a high-energy lvl” yeah if youve ever seen him during games god he can he such a chirper and shit stirrer when he wants to#especially during fights this man gets such a manical grin and it gets even worse in the box 😭😭😭#i like to compare mikksys skating to a freight train; usually moves at a moderate speed but man when they get going THEY HIT#sometimes youll just see him come out of fucking nowhere and take a slapshot like JESUS YOU SCARED ME WHERE DID YOU COME FROM#also paul saying “4 finns on the team” girl who are you referring to is erod the secret fourth 😭😭#he meant 3 but counted mikksy in when he was talking ABOUT him#schrodinger's finn#erod. its erod.#mr half finn#thank you george richards [fhn] for making paul talk about how funny niko mikkola is yes i needed that
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PJO SPOILERS!!!
Am I the only one who thinks some people are being a little harsh on Grover for "snitching" on Percy in Episode 1? I see some people saying Grover's character has been "ruined" by having him "betray" Percy and I'm just over here thinking that gaslighting your best friend for literal MONTHS on end is just as much, if not a worse betrayal then snitching on said friend in order to get them out of the danger zone immediately. Either way you look at it, Grover betrayed Percy in both versions, and honestly I think Grover's snitching was the kinder route to take; at least Percy wasn't questioning his own sanity for months, but a few hours.
And another thing too is that I'm kind of glad their friendship seems a little tense right now in the show, since I felt like in the book, Percy just sort of brushes off being literally lied to and gaslit by Grover for months. Don't get me wrong, I adore their friendship so much but it always kind of bothered me that they never really TALKED about the gaslighting period and how alone that made Percy feel to have even his best friend say everything that happened was all in his head. I don't know, I always just wanted there to be a scene where they actually talked about it and reconcile. So I'm hoping that since the show seems to be putting tension between Percy and Grover right now, that we'll hopefully get a moment of closure and reconciliation between them.
#I'm a TV Grover defender all the way#I love Grover#but you also can't deny that in both the book and show Grover 'betrayed' Percy#so please stop acting like him snitching on Percy is a betrayal when I'd say gaslighting him for months is even worse.#really it was the kinder thing to have Grover snitch on him#and its not like he did for any malicious reason. he was literally trying to just protect Percy be getting him away from the danger zone#if anything they should've tried getting Percy away from Yancy Academy as soon the Mrs. Dodds incident happened-#-rather than keep him there for several more months where more monsters could've easily of tracked him down like Alecto did.#So I'd argue the show actually did the smart thing by getting Percy away from Yancy as soon as possible rather than wait#I rest my case#thanks for coming to my Ted Talk#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson series#percy jackson books#books vs show#percy jackson spoilers#grover underwood#my goat son#percy and grover
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I do think the Brits will probably do some sort of tribute for Liam but that does not mean that the other 1D members will be involved. I can't remember if they usually do an in memoriam video tribute but I think he would either be included in that or something similar individually. They might get them to introduce it if there is an individual tribute, but I can't imagine it going beyond a video introduction and even that is a stretch imo.
But if they were to all do a group tribute I wouldn't necessarily write it off even though it's not something I want to happen.
(edit: by group tribute I just mean doing something as a group, not a performance, re-reading this I don't know if that was clear enough)
When I look at it from a fan perspective I don't want them to do anything as a group because we know what the reaction will be. We know how people will make it about a million other things than Liam, we know that it will only fuel the narrative of Liam being desperate for the band to get back together, we know that the people who have been begging for a reunion without Liam will use this as a gotchu, we know all the same disrespectful things done and said during his funeral will be done again but amplified.
It's hard because it feels like the people who didn't celebrate him while he was here shouldn't be allowed to celebrate him now. However I'm realizing I have to try to pull myself out of that mindset and think about how the people close to him feel because it's a double edged sword. It feels bad to see possibly disingenuous manufactured tributes that would've meant more if they made the effort when he was alive but it would also feel bad to see nothing.
It's clear his family appreciated the fan tributes, and while they weren't all disingenuous the amount of support after his passing vs before is a stark contrast and I'm sure that creates a lot of complicated feelings. It is possible to simultaneously feel the anger of him deserving this love when he was here and still feel comforted by tributes.
I do think that a group tribute might be something that his family wants. We obviously don't know their feelings about all of the boys relationships with Liam, how they treated him or how much they even knew, but they were all invited to the funeral. That could just be to avoid the public reaction if they weren't, I don't think thats the case but I wouldn't know. They haven't publicly showed any resentment towards them and that's all I can go off so I do believe it is possible that his family would support a group tribute.
Additionally I don't think they would do it without consulting his parents. Even beyond that I doubt the Brits would plan anything without contacting his family because of the possible backlash if they were to come out against the tribute. It's also just common sense and curtsey but I don't rely too heavily on those things being followed these days.
Maybe I'm trying too hard to find a reason for the possibility of this tribute coming from a good place to placate myself incase it does happen but I'm also trying to think of it from their perspective. I don't necessarily think the same worries that we have is what Liam's family and loved ones are worried about.
I'm always most concerned about what Liam deserves and how him & his legacy are remembered (which is still wrapped in anger over how he was treated and how he is still being treated). But I also think it's important to try and take a step out of my fan bubble perspective and imagine what the implications would be in his loved ones real lives because their priorities are probably different. Maybe to them being able to show Bear one day that his dad's band members showed up to honor him at one of the nations biggest award shows is more important than avoiding all the things we as fans are worried about (of course this is just a hypothetical example).
I'm sure they are aware of a good amount of the narratives online but they likely don't know everything and it simply may not matter to them anymore. Their son and brother is gone, if they want the band to pay tribute to Liam in this way and they believe it's something Liam would've wanted they shouldn't have to care about the ammo it will give people who quite honestly are going to be horrible with or without the extra material as a result of a "reunion".
The truth is we don't know how his family feels about it and we don't actually know how he would feel about it if he was here. Ultimately if it's what his family wants I can not bring myself to fully resent it. Some people are saying they will be completely done with the rest of the boys if they do this and I understand why but I can't bring myself to get to that point if they have his family's blessing. (In terms of my support it's really only about Louis anyway, I have very complex feelings about Niall and I've never really followed Harry or Zayn).
I will always have my own feelings about how things are done and what I think is "right" but that's really not up to me to decide. Maybe it's naive of me but I do at least trust Louis not to do anything that Liam's family wouldn't approve of AND anything he thought Liam himself wouldn't approve of. At the end of the day he is the one who knew Liam and while nobody will ever be able to know 100% what he truly would've wanted I have to trust that they do what they think is right and that's really all I can ask.
All of this is hypothetical anyways, we will have to wait and see what happens, this could all be a completely fabricated rumor.
#I give louis a grace I don't necessarily extend to the others because he did still know liam#not past tense he knew current liam not where he was at 10 years ago#he was still in liam's life so if he is involved I'm more inclined to believe it's coming from a genuine place#for the rest of them I honestly hope they do what liam's family wants (within reason)#it's too late for them to make any shortcomings up to liam himself and imo the best thing they could do now is fulfill his family's wishes#and I hope they follow louis lead when it comes to what liam would've wanted from them#that doesn't mean I'll necessarily agree with everything but I do have trust that he will only do what he thinks is best#that being said I would be very disappointed if they did a performance and I would not be watching#but I won't even let myself fully entertain that idea anyways because I truly believe they wouldn't do that#I know I said I was taking a break but I saw people talking about this and wanted to say something#I hope this makes sense and comes across the way I mean it
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔
#sylph.txt#everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is#but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho#idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past#to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work#it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool#it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up#we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party#but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao#(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is#but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him#i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did#and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself#w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party#similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter#idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny#but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with#that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao
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