#private information (like abt ur sexuality) online bc ppl can use that against you and hurt you and it’s nobody’s business when…. she was

[pepprs]

ok two things.

not that i need to clarify and not that anyone needs to know more detail but. to clarify from my post last night: my brother did nothing wrong by showing his music to me AT ALL. but there are two things that are hard about it and i hate to say it but the bigger one is… he has the same spark i used to have and feel like ive lost forever snd him making unfathomably beautiful music makes me… jealous. or at the very least mournful about what happened to my own musical / poetic pursuits and skills and how i feel like i will never be able to do anything like that again bc ive lost myself and feel detached from my life and am frozen like a dear in headlights. and the second thing is he’s in a lot of pain rn with his own situation and we don’t communicate abt it except in ways that are extremely like.. strained and sheepish and i feel like a bad big sister for not being more affectionate and like trying to force through the barrier and be lovey dovey with him basically bc i think he needs / wants that even though we’re both weird about it. lol

my cousins posted a picture of them smoking together on their ig story and my mom screenshotted it and sent it to me and my siblings w/o knowing that ig tells you when you screenshot someone’s story and is now doubling down on how righteous she is abt taking a screenshot bc they’re being stupid and smoking when it’s unhealthy. and my dad is telling her “people are allowed to be you g and make mistakes” and she’s continui ng to double down abt how when she was their age she didn’t care about fitting in and just accepted that she didn’t fit in instead of engaging in bad behavior etc etc. like first of all our cousins didn’t hurt anyone by posting that why did she need to screenshot it 💀 they’re going to read into that for sure and i don’t blame them like it’s just so weird and im so fucking embarrassed abt it. and second of all lkke… you are not better than them for not smoking or doing other stuff and also them smoking isn’t necessarily abt fitting in. shut up 💗 [UPDATE post cancelled apparently ig doesn’t notify ppl when they screenshot stories anymore. but my point abt her being judgy abt young ppl being young ppl remains]