#glass ch 27
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bonesandthebees ¡ 1 year ago
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And of course Tommy is dead, there was no way he was surviving that, not with how long he had been under, not with how fucked up his lungs were already. He probably instantly inhaled the water from the shock of getting pushed. I hope he died quick.
And Wilbur goes from anger that Jack, to diving for Tommy, to angry at Tommy for dying, to angry at Clara for letting this happen, for giving him a vision an letting it happen even though he did his best to avoid it, even though he always does, for cursing him and cursing Tommy.
[“Are you happy now?!” He shouted at the statue, his voice hoarse from the smoke. “The curse was real! You killed him! Is that enough for you?!”] I would past the entire monologue, but it’s very long. It!s also very good. Finally Wilbur gets to just be angry. I love how you write his rants, there’s so much emotion. Everything that’s been held back the entire story is now being set free. It’s very cartarctic or how ever you spell it.
It’s also very c!Wilbur [“If you want someone to die for my insolence, kill me!”] and the Clara gave him the air in his lungs, is coming back [Take back the air you put into my lungs! I fucking dare you, Clara!”]
It’s very interesting how Wilbur goes through his grief. He’s in denial until he gets Tommy, then he’s angry /bargaining with Clara. Then Kristen while the depression hits and then he takes matters into his own hands.
(2/8)
-🌲
yeahhhh uh, tommy didn't die very quickly unfortunately. drowning is a horrible way to go, and so is suffocating with your own broken lungs, so while it might've been sped up a little more than if he'd either just been drowning on his own or his lungs were malfunctioning on their own, it was still a pretty painful way to die
I enjoyed writing wilbur's angry rant to clara so much. finally after a decade of shoving down his frustrations and pain he can scream them at clara and curse her for what she's done to him.
also I had that line about daring clara to take back the air she put into his lungs planned for so long like since one of the very early chapters
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angelsanarchy ¡ 9 months ago
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Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 34 {END}
Tagging: @ophelialaufey @madamemaximoff06 @forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27 @shroomje
Oystein sat at the typewriter, drafting up a letter for Mayhem's fans. It had been at least nine months since Helvete was closed down, Varg had started his own label and had already put out a demo for his new band. They had auditioned all over Norway and beyond to find someone to re-record their album and they were in the final stages of putting it together.
Oystein didn't expect to fall so seamlessly into living with Y/n but life had been good. He felt like they lived a normal, surprisingly uneventfully fun life together. She decided that she wanted to quit her jobs and start studying in healthcare. He found it noble of her to want to focus on psychiatric care in such a time when people didn't take mental health serious in the slightest.
He had finally taken her home as his girlfriend for the holidays and his family was over the moon excited that they had finally gotten their stuff together enough to be a couple, no one more than his sister. She had made them matching bracelets to wear and made sure Oystein's was black.
Oystein had done exactly what Y/n had suggested and let the sting of Helvete closing burn off before he started looking at other buildings he could lease. Now that they were wrapping up the album, they planned to start the search for Helvete's new home.
Oystein heard the front door open and didn't bother looking up from what he was writing.
"Hey baby, I picked up dinner because I did not feel like cooking tonight." Y/n greeted him putting the food on the table and dropping her bags on a chair. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him from behind and looked over the letter he was proof reading.
"What do you think?" He asked looking it over.
"I think Black Metal is about to get one hell of an album." She kissed the side of his face and he smiled as she bumped his glasses with her lips. He spun around in his chair and put his hands on her hips.
"How was your day beautiful?" He asked pulling her into his lap.
"It was exhausting. I want to get in the bathtub and just soak for like an hour." Y/n rubbed circles into Oystein's chest and his eyebrows went up.
"Sounds nice although you don't look nearly dirty enough for a nice long soak." Oystein teased gripping her hips a little tighter.
"Oh yeah? You want to help with that I'm sure." She smirked at him as she grinded her hips down into his semi-hard cock.
"You know me, I'm a helpful guy." She laughed at his response and she leaned down to kiss him.
"Your dinners going to get cold." She warned as she started to get off his lap but he held onto her wrist.
"That's what the oven is for." He reminded pulling her back onto his lap. She laughed running her hands through his hair.
"Are you gonna leave you glasses on if I let you fuck me?" Y/n teased making Oystein purse his lips at her.
"Let me? You think you get to let me fuck you?" Oystein gripped the back of her neck holding her in place. She bit her lip as he moved his free hand between her thighs and felt the damp spot on her panties. He pulled them to the side and started to play with her clit.
"I fuck you whenever, wherever I want because you belong to me." Oystein sucked a spot on her chest that was exposed. She started to thrust her hips into Oystein's hand but the closer she got, the more she needed him.
"Oystein..." He was equally desperate for her as he tossed her legs off of him and started to undo his belt buckle and jeans. Y/n scrambled to pull her dress over her head and step out of her panties. She practically hurdled his hips to straddle him in the chair. She lowered herself slowly onto him letting out a groan but there was no patience in Oystein's hips as he started pistoning his cock into her. She bounced on his thighs, the sound of her skin slapping his and her moans filled the apartment as she held onto him for dear life.
"F-fuck.." Oystein whined. Y/n put her hand around his throat and squeezed making him look up at her. His glasses were slightly fogged from having his head against her chest.
"You full so good baby. I want you to cum inside of me. I want it. Please." She begged and Oystein's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he continuously slammed his cock into her. When he did cum, Y/n swiveled her hips feeling his load dripping out of her and onto his thigh. He hummed as he tried to come down from his orgasm and she smiled. Once he was able to look at her, he chuckled at the fog covering his lenses. She pulled the glasses off and smiled giving him a sweet kiss.
"Hold on." He said making her throw her arms around his neck as he got up and shuffled them towards the bed. She laughed as his feet squeaked along the floor before she landed on her back on the bed. He silently went back to rubbing her clit and using his fingers to bring her to the same ending as he was. He wasn't sure what was his cum and her own release as it leaked onto the bedspread.
"Don't stop baby. I'm gonna cum." Y/n cried out and Oystein kept his eyes on her face as she came on his fingers, waiting for her to grip his wrist to stop him from overstimulating her.
The two of them lay next to eachother and smiled.
"I think that's the first time we've fucked at your desk." Y/n pointed out. Oystein nodded his head.
"All the time we've been here and we haven't fucked at my desk, kind of hard to believe." Oystein chuckled.
"Well that's your work station. I don't usually like to bother you when you're working on something." Y/n pushed some of his hair off his face and he smiled.
"If you think riding my cock is a bother, I'm clearly doing something wrong." He joked.
"We'll have to make a list of the places we have left to christen around here." Y/n looked around and Oystein agreed.
"We've got plenty of time for that...for now, I need your help getting out of my pants so we can heat up dinner." Oystein looked down at his legs and Y/n laughed seeing the mess of pants, underwear, loosened belts and boots around his ankles.
"You're a mess." She teased helping him take his boots off so he could slip his legs out of his pants.
"Yeah but you love it." He lifted her chin with his thumb and she smirked as he held her chin.
"I do...to hell and back." He smiled at her before kissing her sweetly.
END
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wishing-on-a-staranise ¡ 3 months ago
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Ch 4: Sleeping over.
(s.h. x gn!reader)
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Summary: a lot of stuff happens and you have a bad feeling about all of it.
A/n: truly scraping the bottom of the motivation barrel. that chapter summary is soooo bad soz bbs :(
Word count: 8.1k+
Warnings/tags: no use of pronouns (gn!reader); use of (y/n); magnets; Hopper being a jealous guy🚩; flashback; weird accurate customer-service interaction;
masterlist
...
You are awakened by the sound of thunder rumbling. When you open your eyes, you have to double check the time to make sure that you haven’t woken up too early.
It reads 8:27 a.m.
Looking out the windows you see grey clouds swirling over the Hawkins’ sky, the trees around the cabin rustling with the fast winds.
You rub your eyes and let out a sigh before finally rolling out of bed, messy from a night full of tossing and turning. another nightmare.
Images of the lab flash in your brain. the sickening fluorescent lights. The hospital gowns. the doctors. The machines. The tanks. The shock collar. the guards. Him. Papa. The people he had made you kill. Their memories. The cold. 
Your brothers and sisters. Eight.
Kali.
That's what her name was now; you found out through El.
you were jealous once again of El. jealous that she got the chance to meet Kali and you didn't. she got to meet her. Kali let her see her, and she hadn't even let you find her in the void back when you had your powers.
You walk through the quiet cabin, the wooden floor creaking under your feet. you fill up a glass of water from the tap. you gulp down the water while opening the latch of the window. when you swing open the window, a gust of wind hits you along with the smell of impending rain.
you take a deep breath in, lungs filling with the earthy smell that comes with these winds. A choir of birds chirps nearby. The branches moved with the winds, their leaves pattering, acting as a white noise. You close your eyes, holding your breath for a while before letting it out. When you first stayed with hopper at the age of 14, he taught this to you, to calm yourself down when he woke up to you screaming in the middle of the night. 
With your eyes still closed, you do it again, holding your breath for longer this time. These days you find yourself doing this entire routine more. A yawn breaks out of you accompanied by stretching yourself out a little– a crack and a satisfying pop sounds from your lower back.
You stay by the window a little longer before finally turning around to get something from the fridge. As you do so, you notice the note Eleven had written, stuck to the refrigerator with some tape– Gone to Maxs sleeping over  --El.  
you smile at the unrefined handwriting, glad that El is becoming good friends with Max.
You open the fridge, gathering the stuff you needed to fix yourself some sandwiches and juice, doing so in silence since Hopper had cut off the TV.
A groan echoes in the cabin. Speak of the devil. You hear the sound of the shower going off, a few more groans heard every now and then.
you sigh, definitely still mad at him. 
When he comes out into the living room/kitchen, he does so with a bottle of pills rattling in his hand, wearing nothing but a towel tied around his waist. He pours the contents of the bottle into his hands before downing them and throwing the bottle in the general direction of the table you all normally ate at. You make a mental note to pick that up later.
The man paid no heed to your presence. You watch with a disgusted frown as he starts drinking right out of the carton rather unmannerly. Your nose scrunches in cringe and a scowl morphs itself onto your features when he lets out a loud burp.
You were about to get back to your sandwich when there were rapid knocks at the door followed by a call for, “Hopper!” the muffled voice of a woman came. Joyce. “Are you there?”, she asks while knocking continuously against the old wooden door.
Hopper quickly makes his way through the cabin and opens the door, “aww! look who it is!”, he says with mockery dripping in his tone.
Joyce skips all salutations and pleasantries, walking towards the fridge, saying, “we need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do”, he punctuates his sentence by slamming the door. “I haven’t been stood up like that since Alice Gilbert in 9th grade.”
you blink, not wanting to listen anymore of Hopper's love life, you get up from your seat on the couch, Initially meaning to retreat to your room. But as you made your way, curiosity blooms in you as you lean against your room's door instead. You watch as Joyce puts her bag on the floor, scrambling to take some things out of her bag. She does so frantically, deciding to rather just dump all the contents of the bag instead.
“What are you doing?”, he questions with a squint,  “Joyce? Hello?” he asks loudly when he gets no immediate response from the lady.
“Just…. watch”, she said before taking one of the magnets and trying to put it on the metal surface of the fridge. She looks at Hopper and then you before releasing the magnet.
It falls with a clatter.
your mind immediately goes back to two days ago when you had found your own fridge magnets on the floor when you had your first fight with Hopper.
The woman in front of you tries to put the magnet on again, and it falls… again. She looks with wide eyes towards the man, shaking her head as if awaiting a response or reaction from him.
“Okay, you're freaking me out”, he says with no expression.
“You slipped on this, remember?” she says, holding up the magnet.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, it fell in the night and it lost its magnetism”, she explains.
“Oh, did it?” he asks with a pout.
“And the same exact thing happened at my house the day before.”
“Wow--”, he sighs as he says it.
“It happened here too”, you interject his bitchy tone.
“What? no, don’t entertain this”, he holds up what you assume is a warning finger.
But the woman pays no mind to it, turning towards you, she asks, “So, it happened here too?”
You nod, not really maintaining any of eye contact with her, instead glancing at Hopper while answering, “happened like.. two days ago”
"Okay, you're going to your room", he points to the door you are standing by, his inflection almost more protective than authoritative.
you still grit your teeth a little, defensive, "I'll do whatever I want"
"that's weird, right?” she turns back to Hopper, probably consciously deciding to ignore your bickering, questioning the man with wide eyes and her jittery hands, “Like why are all these magnets suddenly losing their magnetism?” you and Hopper share a look. you get him, kind of. it all is a little ridiculous. but you get her as well, everything upside-down related is absolutely ridiculous. and who are you to judge her considering you definitely the second most paranoid person right after Joyce Byers. “Anyway, so I went to Scott.” she continues, also deciding to not pay attention to Hopper's mockery.
“Scott. Who’s Scott?” You sigh and roll your eyes when the man in front of you mocks Joyce; trying his best not to show the twinge of jealousy and failing disastrously.
“Scott Clarke” Joyce states, still not quite catching Jim’s true meaning of his words.
“Your child's science teacher?” he squints.
“He’s pretty brilliant actually”, she explains, hands moving fast and her tongue faster, “And I asked him, ‘how is this happening?’ and he built this magnetic field using an AC transformer and plugging it into a solenoid and with that solenoid–”
“Slow down, slow down”, He sits up a little straighter, holding his hands up to stop the woman from rambling, “I just wanna make this exactly right, okay?”
He bends down slightly to come eye to eye with her, his irritation openly evident on his features, “You stand me up”, he counts, holding up his finger infront of her face. You sigh before burying your face in your palm. “no phone call, no apology”, he adds two more fingers up in the air to add count to the list, “because you had to go to Scott Clarke's house.”
“Yeah.” Joyce replies, as if it were the most obvious thing.
The tall man scoffs and chuckles before clapping his hands once, “you’ve outdone yourself, Joyce”, he says before turning to create some space between them and when she tries to speak up, he immediately interjects, “No, you really have. You have outdone yourself.”
“Oh, c’mon Hop. you’re not even listening to me”, she takes a few steps to cover the distance that he had created, “Scott was able to demagnetize some of the magnets and he thinks–”
“I don’t care what Scott thinks!--” he shouts, irritated, cutting the woman off.
“He thinks,” she shouts back so she can be heard, “that a large-scale magnetic field could be built by using some sort of machine or– or experimental technology–”
a pit forms itself in your gut at those words. experimental. thats never good. you were a experiment for god's fucking sake. and whatever the hell Joyce is saying, you do not like the sound of it-- not one bit.
“He’s brilliant, isn’t he? He’s really brilliant. Is he single too?” he says with a mock smile and gritted teeth, walking away towards his room.
Joyce scoffs, pausing for a second before she asks, “what if it's them?” Hopper stops in his tracks, she continues, “to build a machine like that, you need resources, you need scientists, you need funding, tens of millions of dollars–”
“Joyce.”
“It can't just be a coincidence, Hopper. It has to be them” she insists.
“Joyce stop.” he says sternly, eyes flicking towards you whose eyebrows were pulled together and eyes transfixed on the lady in front of him. Your hands curled up into tight fists, nails digging into the palm. An ache in your gut as you truly realise what the woman was saying.
her eyes follow where he was looking at you with soft, almost pitying eyes. her brows soften as well.
you gulp, blinking a few times before looking away. not really sure what to do with your hands or yourself. as much as you wanted to retreat to your room, you also needed to hear the rest of their conversation.
“It has to be the lab, Hop.” she repeats again, more gently– being the only person in the room who doesn't know about your past and your relations to the said lab.
“It is impossible”, he says it loud and clear, making sure both of you hear him.
“Well, then prove it to me.”
“Prove it?” he echoes.
“Yeah, take me back there.”
“To the lab?”
“Yeah, I wanna go back!”
“Because some magnets fell off your fridge.”
“Yes.” she affirmed with finality and a firm nod.
“Okay. Makes sense.”
“Thank you.” she sighs out.
“It makes sense, I’m sorry”, he apologises like he actually means it, before making a show of looking at his wrist watch, “I’m a little busy right now but maybe we can meet up there, like tonight– like seven o’ clock. You know, of course, unless something comes up– which you know, it will.” Jim pulls the curtain to his room in one quick motion.
“You know after everything that's happened”, Joyce talks to the yellow curtain, “This is no joke.”
“No, I don’t think it's a joke,” Hopper’s voice echoes in the air along with him shuffling behind the curtain, “I think that when I asked you out. I think you got scared.” he says with gritted teeth, “I think you got scared and now, you're inventing things. You’re inventing things to get worked up about so you can push me away.”
You rub at your forehead, glancing awkwardly at Joyce who was looking at you with a ‘can-you-believe-this-guy?’ expression. 
“Because God forbid, any of us…. Move on! Because that”, He trails off before letting out a mock laugh, “that would be too much… right Joyce? You know? That would be too much, wouldn’t it Joyce?” he waits for a second for a response before repeating, “Wouldn’t it Joyce?”
The woman in question turns to you, pointing at the tool shed right out the cabin, "uh, is the shed locked?"
"Nope. all yours." you give her a tight-lipped smile. you watch as she makes her way out the door.
When Hopper gets no response, he says the woman’s name one last time, his voice echoing with a timbre in the cabin, “Joyce?”you have choice words for Hopper considering how much he is contradicting himself, but youre a bit too worried for that right now.
The curtain is pulled aside sharply before asking you, “Where’d she go?”
You all but silently nod towards the door before saying, “you know if you wanna get the lady, maybe try not being an asshole to her?”
Hopper, without acknowledging what you said, takes long strides, crossing the threshold of the cabin door and repeatedly calling out Joyce's name.
“Hopper– Hopper listen–”, you call behind from behind him, trying to make him hear you over his own voice. He walked onto the porch, his eyes scanning the surrounding area. The shed door swings open with a loud bang! as Joyce comes out with a torch and a large wire-cutter in hand.
“What the hell are you doing?” he inquires while putting on his shoes.
“I’m borrowing these..”, she declares, walking past him and not even sparing him a glance.
“No, you’re not going back there", ignoring Hoppers words, the woman keeps walking, “Hey! Are you even listening– Joyce!-- goddammit–” he tries his best to walk down the porch stairs, his foot halfway in his shoes, jumping while trying to push the rest of his foot in.
“Hopper!”, you call out loudly, catching his attention, when he turns his head to you, you speak, “I’m coming with you guys.”
“No. no.” he turns his entire body to you, “You’re not. You are staying", he holds up his finger, “And if you tell anyone about this all– I will–”, his finger stays in front of your face, stern and hard. but then then he sighs, hand falling back to his side before muttering a, “just don’t tell anyone”
“But what if it really is them?”
“It isn't.”
“How can you be sure?”, you couldn’t help the slight quiver in your voice.
“I am.”
“How– I– she’s right about the magnets, Jim. I saw it too.”
“Look–", he raises his hands– perhaps to put them on your shoulder but he stops midair as they once again fall to his side, "I’ll go and check okay?”
“But I need to–”
“No. trust me. Its not them. I made sure of it. last year? i was there when they sealed it. it isn't the lab. trust me on this one thing, can you do that?”
“But…”, your voice trails off, gaze falling to your feet. despite your anger, your rage, and whatever else you feel from him, somehow you feel trust a billion times more.
Somehow, you'll always trust him.
Its other people you dont trust. its the lab. its those monsters.
Hopper sighs once again, before reaching for his wallet in his pocket and pulling out a few bills. “Here. get yourself something from the mall ‘kay?”
“...what?”, just as you whisper into the air, you hear the sound of an engine revving.
“Oh, fuck– she’s– I gotta go– I’ll— yeah. Don’t tell Steve or– or anyone there about this” the man ran, shoes untied, shouting the woman's name behind her.
...
“Hi?”, you greet awkwardly after ringing the bell at the counter. Sitting on the counter infront of the sliding window, engrossed in a book with a pair of headphones on her head was Robin buckley. aka Steve's coworker who also practically hates him. When she doesn’t look up, you ring the bell again. And again. And again. 
Its the constant ringing that finally makes the girl pull off her headphones with a groan and look towards the source of the sound. 
“Hey…”, you wave shyly.
"Hey– how can i help...”, she says, sliding off of the counter, “um– you…", she trails off a bit, recognition flashing through her features, "You were here yesterday, right?”
“Uh, yeah.” you answer a bit unsure.
“Are.. you and Steve friends?” she asks with a tilt of her head as trying to decipher something.
You nod, "y-yeah, i was looking for him actually." it feels like its been forever since you've talked to him. you just miss him. especially after everything that happened back at the cabin.
“Oh, he’s… a little busy.”, Robin reckoned she can’t exactly tell you about their super-secret plan to find a super-secret russian base in Hawkins. “He’s not here right now.”
“Oh, so how long will he not be here?”
"uh... a while"
"a while?"
"yeah, a while. can’t say when though– maybe minutes…. Maybe Hours.”
your brows fly up, “Hours?”
“Yep”, she nods to herself, “So, you should probably….” she is about to get you out of her hair, but then she thinks back to the dejected Steve, there is tension there for sure. and though they're not actually friends, Robin would be lying if she said she didn't care about the boy. just a teensy bit though, tiny bit, below the normal amount, miniscule really. and maybe she was just curious.
So, before she knows it, she is asking you to, “Wait. you can wait. Uh— if you want. I have to do some... homework. so I have to..", she gestures back to the counter she had been priorly sitting on, where the book, notebook and a cassette player were laid. 
"yeah, that's okay", you shake your head, “Thanks", you add, smiling timidly before moving to take a seat on an empty table closest to the counter.
You watch as she pulls herself onto the counter she had been on. she puts on the headset, turns it on, drowning out any and all sound.
When you look around in the store, the tables are filled with mostly teen couples, sharing milkshakes, holding hands, looking oh so deeply into each other's eyes and kissing.
Normally, you might've sighed with wistful eyes, maybe called it cute, and Steve would've playfully rolled his eyes before kissing you. Steve.
Steve.
You aren't exactly sure what is happening between the two of you. ever since that day at the cabin when Hopper had caught you both, the boy has been avoiding you. Although you first thought it was because Hopper had really scolded him, giving him earful about his dad. but after finding out that he hadn't in last night's little interrogation, you were utterly clueless as to what was happening.
You are determined to confront the boy, face to face, if he'd actually show it to you.
You sit at the table for fifteen minutes before you spoke up "Hey, robin.”, you call her name out again. time was moving at a sloth's pace, in those fifteen minutes, you had identified a flyer stuck to the wall that read 'we're hiring!' in a deep blue font.
She sighs, pulling her headset around her neck, "yeah?”
"you guys have a vacancy?" you point to the flyer on the wall, “I was wondering, if I wanted to get a job here… How would I do that?”
“We do have a vacancy open so… you could do it. I honestly wouldn’t mind some company other than dingus.”
And that is when an idea hits her. she smirks to herself before clearing her throat. “Okay, how about this…", she slides off of the counter, walking towards you, pointing at you with the red book she had in her hand, "you want a job here?”
You nod at her.
“Well then, you start now”, she declares before reaching for her scooper.. “Get scoopin’ ”, she commands, pulling your hand up and smacking her scooper into your palm. “Or sailing, I guess”, she adds, turning to go sit back in her place. 
“That’s it?”, you question with a pull of your brows, “You don’t get trained or anything?”
“It's just slinging some ice cream”
“It can't be that easy”
“oh, so you think what I told you is easy? well, I guess wouldn't have a problem then", she tries her best to hide her smirk before putting her headphones back on again.
...
may, 1985. graduation. 
It feels like your life was finally on the right route. 
You are soon going to move in with Hopper and Eleven, you and the girl are going to be adopted any time now. you are graduating! and you have a friend– one that you talk to everyday. And that friend is none other than Steve Harrington. 
Ever since that night at the snowball, both of you had started bumping into each other more at school. At first it was just the exchange of little 'hi's' and 'hellos', which then grew to small talk, which further progressed into making plans for every weekend.  Sometimes he'd invite you to his house and sometimes you'd do so to your van. And just like that the rest of the school year passed.
Now, here you are– sitting next to the boy. cheeks hurting from grinning. you wave over at hopper who although had told you the previous night that he couldn't make it but here he was, sitting with the rest of the parents. 
"Hey, you nervous?", the boy next to you asks.
"a little bit", you look at him, the bright sun blinding you for a second, "but I'm okay."
Steve smiles, "you'll be fine. Just a bit more and we’ll be free.” you both giggle at that. The flecks of gold in the boy’s eyes are more prominent, the lines around his eyes and the sound of his laugh make your heart skip a beat and you weren’t exactly sure why.
Your name is heard on the speakers, Steve nudges you out of your trance. You blink, shaking off whatever thoughts that were going through your head before quickly getting up and weaving through the rows of other graduates. Steve gives you a little a grin and a thumbs up as reassurance when you turn to catch a quick nervous glance at him.
When you come back, the boy greets you with a tight hug. The both of you then wait for his name to be called. 
"Harrington, Steve", the name echoes from the speakers. The crowd was mostly tame as compared to how it had arisen in an uproar when Billy Hargrove or any of Steve’s older ‘friends’ were called up.
Steve Harrington is no longer the king he was once titled. and quite honestly, he doesn’t care. Ok, maybe a little. The boy wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t miss the constant attention whether from girls or boys but at the same time he didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to go back to pretending to care about things that didn’t matter and pretending that he didn’t care for things that actually mattered. 
So, as he went off the stage, there are no cheers, no chants of his name, just some obligatory clapping. King Steve was dead and somehow Steve didn’t mind.
When he comes back to your seats, you let out a squeal in which Steve joins you, wrapping an arm around you and squeezing you. 
"can you believe that school's actually over?”, you ask as the students slowly start dispersing, getting pictures and leaving with their parents.
"yeah, it's…. holy shit", Steve says as if the realisation had dawned on him just now. you laugh as the two of you moved to leave the place as well, "so, where are we goin’?”, the boy asks hoping he could smoothly segue into telling you what he had planned for the two of you for the rest of the day.
"Steve, I– hopper is here so me, him and eleven are going to have dinner", you try explaining apologetically, "I would have–"
"yeah, no that's cool”, Steve interrupts you, shaking his head and flashing you a smile as if its no big deal, ”I get it.”
"But you can come by after dinner? if you want."
"Ok, cool", he says before waving you a quick bye. he watches as you make your way past the crowd of parents towards Jim. the boy watches the both of you interacting. he feels a little pang of something in his chest when he sees Jim hugging you. His parents didn’t even bother coming home for his graduation.
Without having a single other interaction with anyone else, Steve left in his car.
...
“Umm… sir?” you call out for a third time to a tall blonde, 20-something guy who has just been staring at you a tad bit too much. his pupils are wide blown, hair greasy, forehead covered in a sheen of sweat and he stares at you if he was staring through you and into your soul. the eye contact is unsettling to say the least. "Sir?"
He blinks out of his trance, “huh?”, his dark green eyes finally moving towards the tubs of colourful ice creams.
you force on a customer friendly smile, “Which one did you want?”, you ask for a fourth time.
He looks back up at you. it makes you want to shrivel up, his unmoving gaze, “Whichever you suggest", he says with an accent you can't quite place.
“Oookay. Umm…. ch-chocolate is always a safe option. What do… whatdoyou say?”
“I couldn’t agree more", he grins, a Cheshire smile that doesn't reach his eyes. you quickly move to scoop him his ice cream and get it over with already.
you do so hurriedly, exchanging the cone for his money and quickly returning his change. but the man lingers. he tastes the dessert, another dead smile spreading on his face. "this is great", he states with no true enthusiasm in his words. 
the man puts the change in the tip jar, before turning to you, "thank you so much….", his words taper off, leaving room for you to finish the sentence.
"oh, uh– (y/n)", you help hesitantly.
"(y/n)", he echoes, pupils never wavering, dead set on you. "thank you, (y/n)." he finally says before exiting the store.
You watch as the tall statured man bumps into a person while weaving through the people in the food court. The man gives a final glance over towards scoops ahoy-- towards you. For the one second he looks at you, a chill runs down your spine, goosebumps arising on your skin. It is when he is out of sight, when you finally let out the breath that you had been holding. 
“Was that really weird or is that normal?”, you ask out loud, waiting for a response from Robin who surely should have been watching the entirety of the unsettling interaction. But when you turn around the girl is still engrossed in that book, her eyes flitting between it and the notebook she'd been scribbling in. when you get no response from the girl, you don’t even try to bother disturbing her. You sigh and go back to facing the counter.
About five or so minutes later, you hear banging on the backroom-corridor door. You hand the change to the girl you were serving before turning to poke Robin's shoulder to get her attention. “Hey, robin?”
“Hmm?”
“There's uh.. someone…” you point towards the backdoor. 
She says something about shipment before getting up to check it out while you went back to the counter. You were wiping the surface when you heard the familiar voice you’d been waiting to hear. A certain head of hair emerges from the crowd– in his deep blue sailor uniform, accompanied by Dustin Henderson.
A blur of a sailor uniform and blond hair flashes by you, “Robin, where’re you going?”, you call out behind her. You get no response as she knocks past Steve and Dustin— running through the crowd.
“What're you doing here?”, Steve’s voice pops up beside you, and when you look back from the flurry of people, he is looking at you, awaiting an answer.
“I work here”, you state simply.
“Since when?”
you take a look at the watch on your wrist before answering, “45 minutes ago." Nodding towards the direction where Robin had run off to, you ask, “Is she always this uh… runny?”
...
When you finally take a seat in the car, Eleven pops up from the backseat, "con-gratu-lations", she says slowly (surely a new word Hopper had taught her), with a huge genuine grin. She hands you a card she had made, the words written in her shaky handwriting, the spelling wrong in 'graduation' which is crossed out by a pen to correct it (most definitely Hopper’s deed).
"aw, thanks El!”
the rest of the ride to your van, Eleven tells you about all that the two of them had planned for the evening. A movie and then a well-cooked dinner. it wasn’t a lot or anything special, but you didn’t mind that.
they had some lasagna packed in a pan dish and covered with some aluminum foil. Apparently, Hopper had requested joyce to make some for the special day. It was when you were heating up the food with Hopper when he gives you an envelope.
“Here’s your gift kiddo”, he says with a wide smile.
“what is it?”
“I think you know.”
You have never opened an envelope so fast. and …. There it was. 
(Y/N) Hopper.
You finally had a surname.
“You like it?”
Tears spring up in your eyes.  You tackle him with a hug, an oof! involuntarily sounding from his chest before his arms wrap around you. Soft sobs escape you, tears wetting his flannel shirt.
“Jesus, no need to be so dramatic, kid.”
You let out a wet laugh. Neither of you let go. You sniffle into his shirt as he rubs your back, grounding you. 
Its the beep of the microwave that makes you finally pull away and wipe your face.
“'bout time we get you moving out of this place. So, I’ll come here by, 11:00 a.m.”, he rubs his nose, “Move all this stuff over”
“What?”, you say, plating the steaming lasagna.
“You don’t plan on carrying all of this on your bike do you?”
...
“Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes”, You barely hear Robin's raspy voice over the rumbling of the clouds and the pitter patter of the rain.
You were drenched, confused out of your mind as to why you were all on a rooftop, in the middle of a storm, spying on the mall guards while simultaneously battling the highly possible chances of being charred by lightning. 
When Robin had come back from wherever she had run off to, she'd pulled Dustin and Steve into the backroom. You'd heard muffled quarrelling before you decided to lean in a little closer to hone in what was being said. 
“Oh, no, Henderson. We’re not getting (y/n) into this. that is an awful idea”
“Look, steve. if Dustin is right about this entire ordeal. Then we need as many people as we can get.”
"yeah, dude, strength in numbers!"
"well, i don't that number to be (y/n), you hear me?"
“....no. No! I said no. Hey! Henderson!-”, the door bursts open. They pause for half a second, probably realising that you heard all of that.
“We need your help.”
And now here you are, ‘helping’, apparently.
“So why are we doing this exactly?”, you finally ask, wiping the wet strands of hair from your face– hating the awful feeling of wet clothes and hair clinging to your skin.
“To become American heroes”, Dustin states as if that made a single iota of sense.
“oh, okay. That makes so much sense", you mutter mostly to yourself, Hopper's sarcasm has definitely started to rub off on you.
“There, with that whistling guy. Ten o’clock”, Dustin informs, watching from his binouculars while you and the others squint through wet lashes.
“What d’you think’s in there?” Steve asks, referring to the boxes the guard carried.
“Gun? Bombs?” Dustin answers as if it were no big deal.
“Chemical weapons?”, Robin suggests.
"What?", you ask, rightfully shell-shocked. What in the actual fuck is happening? alarm bells ring in your head, you dont like this plan anymore.
“Whatever it is, they’re armed to the teeth.”
You really dont hear what they say anymore. Armed guards never ever mean anything good. you would know, you have been chased by a fair share of them. Their voices, the rain, and the thunder get drowned out and all you can hear is your own damn breathing and heartbeat.
Its a loud clang! that alerts you and breaks you out of your head. it echoes through the air along when the binoculars hit the railing, alerting the armed guards. 
Given the options of fight or flight, your brain still decides to do the unthinkable and freeze. You barely hear a ,"get down!" over the sound of your own blood rushing. You barely felt the arm pulling you down, out of the sight of the guards.
There's a warm hand holding yours, when you look up, it is Steve’s. Both your chests heave as you look at each other for a second before Steve pulls his hand out of your grasp. You don't get a moment to process anything that happens.
A shout is heard below you. And before you know it, you were being pulled– maybe it was Steve, maybe Robin, or maybe even Dustin, their grip on your forearm tight as they pull you through doors you’d never been through. 
Your heart is loud in your chest, eyes burning. Rainwater drips from your clothes as you walk past the now closed stores of the mall.
"I think we found your russians.”
...
“Hey, where are you both going?”, Steve's voice rings through the haze of your brain.
“Going home? You don’t expect me to stay and investigate all night do you?”, Robin quips.
Steve scoffs lightly before saying, “c’mon I’ll drop you guys off. I’m dropping off this little demon anyway.” he says, pointing his thumb at dustin.
“Steve, it’s okay-”, Robin shakes her head.
“No, its raining and late and....", he gestures to you, "you don't even have a bike." When none of you move, steve tilts his head towards his car, his hands on his hips, “C’mon. Buckley, you can put your bike in the trunk of the car”
Robin lets out a quick sigh, “alright, fine then”, she says, strolling her bike over to the back of Steve's car. Steve helps her mount the thing before slamming it shut. And while the blonde makes her way to the seat, Steve turns to you who was still standing where you had been; having made no movement towards his car.
Steve looks at your drenched and shivering frame, he mutters a small “c’mon” into the air.
“Are you sure?” you ask all unsure after a brief pause, "i'll ruin your seats." when you shrug, the fabric of your shirt squelches and sticks to your skin.
“you wont. I'm sure. come on.”
You lick your lips, taking the one remaining seat next to Dustin without another word; as Robin had taken the front passenger seat. 
The storm was over now. Steve drops off Dustin and then Robin, helping them unload their bikes out of the trunk. 
The rest of the drive to way to your cabin is silent. The radio turned all the way down, Steve doesn’t need directions to your place as he’d taken the route nearly everyday since the first time he sneaked in right after graduation.
There is no particular road that leads to the cabin, it is surrounded by thick groves of trees. He parks his car on the main road, making sure to lock it before wordlessly leading you to your own house. 
You want to hold Steve's hand. you want to hold him so bad. you miss the warmth. but something in you stops you. something in his body language and tightly closed fists that say that he doesn’t want you to hold his hand.
You both walk in silence, the crickets chirp, the frogs croak, wind blows and rustles the tall trees around you.
You want to break the silence. Ask the question that had been on your mind– why is Steve acting so distant? Why does it now feel like you had conjured up your entire relationship in your mind?
This is nothing like the past two weeks had been. Where is the constant flirting? Where is the unending banter and jokes? Where is the constant touching? Where is the warmth?
You're deep in your thought when Steve’s shoe slips a little in the muddy grass, but he catches himself.
“Are you okay?” you immediately ask, arms extending on their own accord to steady him. But before your fingers could touch his arm, he mumbles a “yeah” which you almost don’t hear. and then he keeps walking– not even sparing a glance at you. 
Your hands fall back unceremoniously to your sides. Your shoulders slumped and you decide that maybe you shouldn’t speak. you just want to go to sleep now.
You silently follow the boy through the bushes. When you finally reach, alarm bells immediately ring in your head when you see that none of the lights are on. neither do you notice Hopper's Blazer.
Steve might have noticed it too, "Is– is no one home?", he asks.
"I... guess not", you answer, voice barely above a whisper. 
Theres this awkward silence, this pause where neither of you say a thing. you wring your fingers around your wrist. "I'll uh–", Steve cleared his throat , "I'll leave now. um...", he nods to himself as if trying to convince himself, "See you." He slowly steps away, turning back to where you both had come from.
He is already a few steps away from the porch when you speak up, "Steve?"
He halts, head turning, "... yeah?"
you lick your lips. worry and anxiety eats at you from the inside. you're soaking and cold. you want to ask him to stay. you want to hold him. you want him to hold you. you want him to stay. you dont want to be alone.
you swallow, "... be– get home safe."
The boy gives you a tight-lipped smile before turning once again. You watch his retreating figure. when he is finally out of sight, then you finally let yourself in, immediately calling Max’s house.
Eleven is with Max, you know that much after that call. So, you know she was safe.
What concerns you is Hopper. He and Joyce were supposed to go and check out the lab. Surely, they should’ve been back by now. A knot ties itself in your gut as you walk through the empty cabin.
You are thinking of what to do when you hear a knock. You open the door, fully expecting Hopper with maybe a bottle of beer in his hand.
But it wasn’ him. 
An all too familiar face meets yours, his hair in a disarray as if he had run his hand through it a million times. Before you could say anything, he starts, “Hey, sorry– it just didn’t… I’ll stay till– till Hopper shows up", he says, stumbling through his sentence.
“You don’t have to–”, you shake your head reluctantly.
“Look, I know he isn’t my biggest fan, and he might freak– but I'd rather stay", he finally looks you in the eyes. his warm honey eyes that you're sure could heal anything. "You hate being alone.”
you sigh of relief at that, “Okay,” is all you say before moving aside to let him in.
...
There is a knock at the door. Hopper had left with Eleven about twenty or so minutes ago and it could expectedly be only one person who would be visiting you.
you opened the door immediately.
“Hey", he greets you with a grin.
“Hi, Steve”, a smile comes onto your face as well, “what's that?”, you point to the plastic bag in his hand.
“Well, I remember that you said that you’ve never tried it so I brought some beer to celebrate. You obviously don't have to drink if you don't want to but-- I don't know maybe I didn’t really think this through--”
“Steve.” your voice manage to stop his rambling, “we can try it.”
“Yeah, okay– that’s what I thought”, he nods, making his way in through the door.
You giggle, closing the door behind him, “do you just plan on getting me drunk as a graduation celebration?”
“Of course not. I your favourite movie, snacks as always; and I know what you’re thinking– ‘Steve we do that like every week!’”, the boy says the last part in a mock voice at which you rolled your eyes, “Well, we are going to lovers lake for a late night swim!”
“What–”
“well, its beautiful out tonight, and late night swimming sounds perfect right about now, we can even bring food if you have any leftover or we can just buy some on the way--”
“Steve, slow down–”, you put your hand on his shoulders to decelerate his words, “Lover’s lake?”
“Yeah, Lover's lake– its like the only lake in Hawkins--”
“I know what Lover’s lake is. I just–”, you hesitate, “I... don’t know how to swim.”
“Oh, that’s okay! I could teach you?” he shrugs.
“No. I–”, you stutter, wringing your wrists, “I don’t like water, Steve. I just– it… scares me.”
the boy reasons, “I’ll be there the entire time (y/n).”
“Yeah, but I– I don’t know… I guess, its just an irrational fear that I have." Well, it isn’t completely irrational. Maybe it had something to do with being forced to stay in sensory deprivation tanks filled with water and no escape for hours on end because you couldn’t do what they wanted you to do.
“I just can't." you declare with finality. "please?" you add with brows pulled together.
“... okay." you can tell he agrees reluctantly, "Okay. do you have any suggestions for what we’re gonna do, then? Because I’m stumped now.”
“I don’t know”, you frown, eyes falling down to your feet.
“... You know what? Lets have a drink and we’ll figure it out.”, he moves to put the six pack on the coffee table before taking a seat on the rickety old couch. he takes one out for himself and holds up one for you as well. "you sure you still wanna do this?" he inquires with a lifted eyebrow.
the corner of your mouth lifts up a little, “What? D’you think I’m a pussy?”
An involuntary laugh bubbles from his throat at the unexpected word usage, “Damn, where did you learn such vulgar language from?”
you lift your chin, “You, potty mouth.”
“Please, I’ve never used that word. I'm a gentleman.”
“Well, maybe Dustin, then.”
“Ah, yes. That checks out.”
“I can't believe that I’m friends with Steve Harrington yet it’s Dustin Henderson that is the bad influence”, You laugh.
Steve produces a bottle cap opener out of his pocket, “Yeah, that kid is like a profanity machine”, he mumbles, opening the bottle cap before handing you your bottle, “Alright. You ready?”
You give him a quick nod.
“Bottoms up.”
you cough at the taste, holding up your hand over your mouth, “Aww that’s disgusting"
"its an acquired taste”, he chuckles, taking another swig and you fake gag as he does so.
the both of you fall into conversation, something that flowed so easily between you that you don’t even notice when you subconsciously end up finishing the bottle. you still continue to complain about the awful taste when Steve recommends to play a board game to decide who would clean up the mess you two are conjuring up.
Steve loses; purposely, but he wouldn’t tell that to you. Steve would have played fairly, he really would have and he did, for the first round atleast. But when you won the first round, your drunken victory dance was a little too cute for him to not witness again. so, that’s what he did. he lost on purpose.
while he is wiping the table, you appear behind him, calling his name, “I wanna show you something!”
“Yeah?” you take out the envelope from your back pocket, a huge grin on your face as you do so. “what’s this?”
“open it!” you say all excited. the boy does so, his eyes skim over the page, “You got adopted?” he asks with a small grin.
“Yes!!” you exclaim, tackling his torso like you have made the habit with Hopper; you nearly knock down the both of you but his hands instinctively fly up to hold your waist, making the both of you stable in your footing. “Sorry,” you apologise shyly, pulling away but the boy doesn’t allow you as he pulls you back in, “congratulations”, he mutters into your hair.
“I’m so happy.” you state, warm breath tickling the skin on the junction between his neck and shoulder. the two of you finally pull away, “We’re moving tomorrow morning, so goodbye to this shitty van.”
“Wait, really?”, you nod, excited. brows fly up almost into his hairline, “thats great! but don’t you think you should pack a little maybe?”, he suggests, gesturing towards, well, everything around the two of you.
“Oh…”, you pause, “Oh, shit”, your forehead creased as you frantically look around at the van, it is a mess to say the least and the thought packing had completely flown over your head.
“It’s okay dude,” he reassures, and for some reason, cringes at his use of ‘dude’. he isn’t exactly sure why. that’s what you two were, afterall. just buddies, best buddies, pals-- that’s it. “I’ll help you out.”
“Oh my god– thank you so much Steve!” you flash him a huge thankful grin.
“Yeah, I know, I’m your knight in shining armor”, he mumbles. it is completely normal to feel a little giddy from your best friend’s smile. right? Right.
The night goes quite the opposite of how he had planned it. packing up wasn’t anywhere near hanging out around a lake but he, once again, finds himself not minding. because of you. 
oh. oh yeah. that makes sense.
it is 12:17 a.m., you had fallen asleep in the middle of the task of organising your books. And although he had assigned you the task, he makes no efforts to wake you up. Instead, he does that as well, listening to your soft snores and a random mixtape you had been playing in the background.
it is in that moment, Steve realises that his feelings for you might be a bit more than platonic.
You wake up about a few minutes past 1:00 a.m., apologizing profusely and then thanking the boy when he tells you that everything was done.
“Alright I better get going”, He announces, getting up when everything was packed up.
“Steve. Its one a.m.”, you state, pointing at the clock, “Its too late. C’mon you can stay the night.”
“And sleep in your rickety couch?”, he jokes.
“We could share my bed?”
“If you want me in your bed, you just have to ask”, he says before even realising what he had said.
why is he trying to flirt with you? 
“I am asking you, Steve”, you insist, not quite understanding what the boy had actually meant.
“Uhm, yeah– okay cool.”, he sighs.
why is he trying to flirt with you and why is he disappointed when you don't get that he's trying to flirt you?
So, the both of you share your small bed, but still managing to maintain an appropriate amount of space. as much as you remember atleast, and you don’t remember a lot. but Steve did.
He remembers that it was about 3:30 when he was awoken by the urge to take a leak, but there you were, arms laid out over his torso, nose snuggling into his shoulder, and those same cute snores. 
Despite how much he didn’t want to, he had to get up. so, when he does, he does so slowly, making sure to not wake you up. when he is finally out of bed, he is nearly jogging on his way towards the bathroom. He sighs, disappointed, because when he comes back, you were now on your back, robbing Steve of his chances of having you snuggled up against him again.
...
“Hey, Y/N”, you groan all groggily, pressing your face further into the pillow, “Hey, sleepy pants”
“fuckyouiwannasleep”, your words are barely audible, muffled by the sheets.
“C’mon”, he laughs, “don’t you wanna move to your new home now?” You jolt awake at that, hair a mess, mouth sticky, trying to rub your eyes free of sleep. “There you are. C’mon brush your stinky teeth, I made breakfast”
...
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badbatchposts ¡ 3 months ago
Text
Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Ch. 27
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Relevant tags/content warnings: Crosshair/Original Female Character, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Periodic Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, 18+/Explicit
Read the full fic so far on AO3
Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l Ch. 7 l Ch. 8 l Ch. 9 l Ch. 10 l Ch. 11 l Ch. 12 l Ch. 13 l Ch. 14 l Ch. 15 l Ch. 16 l Ch. 17 l Ch. 18 l Ch. 19 l Ch. 20 l Ch. 21 l Ch. 22 l Ch. 23 l Ch. 24 l Ch. 25 l Ch. 26
Chapter 27 summary: Crosshair experiences some uncertainty about his relationship with Dara.
Extra content warnings for this chapter: More smut! PIV sex, fingering, dirty talk, discussion of dom/sub dynamics, light spanking, Crosshair's gun fetish, dom drop
Crosshair was staring. He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not a word—Dara hadn’t said a word to him in two rotations, had barely even shot a glance his way—and he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
For two whole rotations he’d been watching her as she strode across the base, conferring with clones and reaching out to contacts, as efficient and competent as always. While Tech conducted tests on the samples they’d acquired on Xagalus, Dara and a few of the others were hunting down leads on the Empire’s purpose for the drug. As she worked, she was again measured and unemotional, betraying no ongoing signs of the grief and pain that had threatened to overwhelm her. Crosshair didn’t flatter himself to think that he had somehow managed to fix things, but whatever she was feeling, she was now back in control.
He, on the other hand, was being driven slowly insane.
Last time, Dara had kissed him. Sure, he had goaded her into it, but she had turned things physical, she had wanted him, they had even spoken without arguing afterwards. And she was honest with him—no protective walls made of falsely flirtatious charm or even righteous anger, just a little bit of humor, some quiet reflection, and that undercurrent of sadness that, he now knew, must follow her wherever she goes. It had been good, the sex was incredible, and it had helped her.
So why wouldn’t she look at him?
It was because of the end of that conversation afterward, maybe, when he’d asked about her scars. He had worried, even then, that he was delving into too-personal territory, and since then he’d spent not a small amount of time lying awake at night, replaying her hesitation, the tension in her shoulders when he’d asked about the war. It was obvious, now, that she hadn’t wanted to tell him.
It was just—he’d never seen her so open before. Relaxed, and loose, and satisfied, willing to indulge him. And then he had ruined it, and now she had to know that he was watching her, but she wouldn’t even glance his way.
At the moment, she was conversing seriously with Gregor. Her hands must have healed well enough—she’d removed the bandages just this morning, her palms once again smooth and unmarred. Her reading glasses were perched atop her head, and she pulled them on for a moment to consult the datapad she was holding before returning them to their resting place, nestled among the silver strands of her hair. Crosshair could practically still feel the way her soft locks had twisted around his fingers. He wanted to feel it again.
Echo brushed against his shoulder gently with his own. “You alright, vod?”
Crosshair scowled, agitating his toothpick back and forth in his mouth. “Just peachy.”
“Sure.” His brother rolled his eyes. “You, uh… Wanna talk about whatever’s going on between you two?” he asked, gesturing toward Dara with his scomp link.
Yeah, that wasn’t happening. The sniper spun on his heel and strode off. “Going for target practice,” he spat over his shoulder.
Crosshair made his way across base toward an out-of-the-way rooftop that overlooked the long-distance range he and Omega had set up, beginning to feel more relaxed the further he got from the bustling activity. This was all he needed: a quiet place to focus, to calm his mind. To forget about her.
Obviously, Dara didn’t want him. She’d pushed him away after the first time, ignored him after the second, and—as seriously as he’d been considering picking another fight just to see if it would end with him inside of her again—it was time for him to take the hint. So he settled down into the familiar position and certain rhythm of his rifle, and concentrated on what he was best at.
He had been at it for nearly an hour when he heard the crunch of gravel behind him as someone climbed their way onto the roof. Something lurched strangely in his chest, and he hit another target rather than turning to look. He knew who it was, had memorized the pattern of her footfalls without even realizing it.
“Been searching for me, burk’yc?” Crosshair murmured. He squeezed off another shot.
Dara stood next to him, arms crossed, and peered in the direction he was shooting. It was fruitless—she wouldn’t be able to see the targets he was hitting unaided at this distance.
“You’re easy to find,” she retorted. “Just look up and follow the sounds of violence.”
Crosshair snorted. “Hardly any violence today. Just stationary objects.” He sat up and gestured towards his Firepuncher, smirking. He couldn’t help preening a little at the chance to show her the evidence of his skill. “Go ahead and look.”
Dara gave him an unimpressed stare, but still lowered herself to the ground. She laid on her stomach in front of the rifle and sighted through the scope, finding the far-off targets that he had been hammering unflinching holes into with pinpoint accuracy.
“Hmm.” She glanced up at him for a moment before looking back through the scope. “I guess I’ll give you credit for not taking it out on any of those flying fish.”
Crosshair scoffed, but found himself too distracted by the sight of her holding his rifle to come up with a rejoinder. He hungrily eyed the way her fingers curled around the grip and forestock and traced his gaze along her prone form.
Her proper form, he noted with some surprise. Her correct grip.
“Think you can hit something with that?” He posed the question half out of curiosity, half out of a lewd self-interest. He was already memorizing this image for later use—her actually shooting his rifle would be a nice bonus.
Dara looked back up and rolled her eyes at him. “Let me guess—you want to wrap your arms around me and show me how to hold it properly?” she mocked, snorting. “Wouldn’t be the first time a man tried that one on me.”
The sniper crossed his arms and glared. Honestly, he had been considering that, and he was a little annoyed that there was nothing for him to correct.
“Well, shoot it, then,” he huffed impatiently. The Firepuncher was too large for her, and the recoil would hit her hard, but that wasn’t his problem if she wanted to be a brat about it.
Dara shook her head in exasperation, but lined herself up again, angling the rifle toward one of the closer targets. It wasn’t far at all—he had set it up for Omega’s bow practice, since he himself wouldn’t even bother with something at that range—but it was respectable for a non-sniper, especially one without enhanced vision.
She exhaled, and squeezed the trigger. It hit a few centimeters to the left of center.
“That hurt,” she muttered, rubbing her shoulder and rolling it out. “Too much power for me. I’m used to my hunting rifle.” He watched as she adjusted and tried again, then again, getting closer each time.
“You didn’t learn that hunting,” Crosshair countered. She was too familiar with the scope, her fingers making adjustments with the familiarity of practice.
Dara took another shot, finally hitting center. “Nope.”
He huffed when she didn’t elaborate. “Boyfriend teach you?” he asked snidely, certain it would piss her off.
Her shoulders stiffened for a moment before she forced them to relax. “My friend used one during the war.” She settled into a rhythm, hitting a bullseye several more times before moving onto the next furthest target. “She taught me some, but I don’t have the accuracy at distance to be a sniper. Couldn’t forage all my food when I lived off-the-grid, so that’s still where I got the most practice.”
“Fuck,” Crosshair muttered as she shot again, doing better now that she was more familiar with the weapon. It was nothing particularly impressive, he reminded himself—but still, he could practically feel himself salivating. There was something about the methodical way she undertook the task—getting a feel for the rifle, making small but steady improvements until she performed consistently, then moving onto the next challenge—that appealed to him.
She grinned and looked up at him over her shoulder. “What?” she teased. “You like when I look a little dangerous?”
Kriff, she was doing this on purpose, wasn’t she? Suddenly, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t been speaking to him. She knew what she was doing right now. She had come looking for him.
She still wanted him.
Crosshair lowered himself to his knees, straddling either side of Dara’s legs as she lay prone beneath him, and ran his hands along her hips and waist. He took his time, savoring her curves. She shivered, and flexed her grip against the rifle—his rifle.
“I—I told you this wouldn’t work on me. Can’t seduce me this way.” Her voice was already breathy.
Crosshair slipped his hands beneath her to unbutton her trousers, taking time to savor the feel of the soft skin of her belly against his calloused fingertips. “Obviously you’re the one seducing me, mesh’la.” He slid her pants and underwear down so they rested just beneath the knee, then angled her hips up. She obliged, so willingly, shifting so that she was positioned on her hands and knees, clicking the rifle’s safety on and setting it back down as she did so.
“I’m not the one who started this,” Dara shot back.
He sighed contentedly at this new angle, the way her cunt was spread out beneath him like a ripe fruit to devour. Trying to remain patient, to drag this out as long as possible, he pulled his gloves off and slid his palms along the soft curve of her ass, pushing her shirt up to kiss a trail up her spine. She hadn’t worn the poncho today, and he wondered whether she was thinking of this, thinking of him, of giving him easier access, when she’d decided not to.
“Aren’t you?” Crosshair replied. “You came looking for me for a reason.”
Dara murmured in acknowledgment as he let his hands and tongue roam, dedicating himself to making her shiver. He kneaded at her hips, stroked along her inner thighs, slipped beneath her breastband to pinch a nipple.
 One hand ghosted so close to her wet heat that he swore he could feel it radiating from her. “So what was the reason?” he whispered against her skin.
She smirked over her shoulder at him. “Wanted to fuck.”
Crosshair grinned wickedly and sank his teeth into the meat of her hip just as he pressed one long finger inside of her. Her moan synced with the flexing of her walls in response as he opened her up and felt her growing wetter by the second.
“That’s what I thought,” he muttered, slipping another digit in. He straightened so that he was kneeling upright behind her, resting his left hand against the scar on her lower back and watching as his fingers disappeared over and over into her tight hole. Dara threw her head back, eyes screwed tight in ecstasy, and thrust her hips back to meet him, fucking herself on his hand, and Crosshair honestly couldn’t manage to conjure up a hotter image at the moment if he had tried.
She had come back for more. She wanted him.
Last time he had given her what she needed immediately, eager to distract her from her grief. Now, he wanted to tease her, to take his time patiently pulling her apart. To watch as she slowly came undone for him, at his mercy. 
Even so, he doubted he could get her to beg for him—not yet, at least. She was too resistant to letting him lead, would surely stubbornly suppress anything that might even hint that he was in charge. Still, though, with her here, on all fours in front of him, admitting openly that this is what she desired—well, for now he would take what he could get.
His cock was uncomfortably hard against his codpiece, and Crosshair had to dip into his reserves of patience to stay focused. He shifted his fingers until he was hitting home inside of Dara, wrenching a low cry from her with every thrust. His thumb found her clit and rubbed slow, firm circles, increasing in speed as her moans became more wanton and he felt the fluttering of her cunt around him.
It was a struggle to pull away before she could reach the apex of her pleasure, especially as she practically chased his fingers with her hips—but he was nothing if not disciplined.
“You absolute kriffing bastard!” Dara groaned, fingers clawing at the duracrete. His eyes were glued to the sight of her pussy, dripping and clenching around nothing, but when he glanced up and met her eyes the strength of her glare could have dropped one of the flying fish right out of the sky.
Crosshair smirked. “Hit the next target, and I’ll let you finish.” He tasted his fingers, coated with her slick, not breaking eye contact even as he felt the urge to close his eyes to fully savor the heady, sweet flavor.
Dara’s eyes flashed, jaw working, and he imagined her mind was running through her options—yelling, fighting, finishing herself off—but evidently she decided that it would be quickest to simply do as he asked, and she gripped his rifle again, firing off an impatient blast that missed her objective entirely.
“You can do better than that, burk’yc,” he goaded over her huff of frustration. As Dara calmed herself, making more effort to line her shot up properly this time, he let his codpiece clatter to the ground, palming himself over his blacks. Her second attempt went wide as well, hitting the target but far off-center, and he tutted. When Dara bared her teeth at him over her shoulder once again at the sound, he spanked one round, enticing buttock. “Focus,” he chided.
Dara spewed out a series of words in a language he couldn’t identify but was certain consisted of the most vehement curses she was familiar with as she turned back toward the range. Grinning, he dragged two fingers through her pussy, gathering her wetness and making her shiver, and tugged his cock out of his blacks, needing some sort of relief for himself even as he tormented her. Slow strokes coated his length in her slick, taking a little of the edge off even as her hands on his rifle were riling him up further. Finally, Dara breathed deeply, muscles relaxing, and loosed a bolt that hit true.
“Good fucking girl,” Crosshair groaned, plunging his fingers back inside of her even as the hand fisting his cock sped up.
“You miserable… son of a nerf herding… bantha shit-brained…” Dara’s insults died away as her climax approached, dissolving into moans as Crosshair expertly guided her toward the edge. When she reached it, he couldn’t tear his eyes away, greedily drinking in the way the tension in her muscles loosed all at once, her knees nearly buckling and mouth letting out delicious little whimpers from behind bitten lips. Suddenly, he found himself having to stop his strokes entirely, clenching the base of his shaft, the sight bringing him far too close to finishing for comfort.
Crosshair gave himself just long enough to avert a crisis—there was no possible way he was going to cum before he was sheathed inside her again—but not long enough for Dara to fully recover. He bent over, lips to her ear, rutting his hard length up against her ass.
“You knew what you were doing to me, holding my weapon like that. Is this what you wanted? For me to take you right out in the open like this?”
Dara was still unsteady on her hands and knees, voice breathy, but not so far gone to keep from snarking at him. “Not my fault… that you… have a fetish…”
He chuckled darkly. “I’m sure I’m not the only one. You’re a filthy thing, aren’t you? I’d bet there’s no end to what you’d let me do to you.”
Dara looked over her shoulder at him again, rolling her eyes with a lazy contentment and smiling wryly. “Is that a promise?”
All that meant was that Crosshair could see the exact moment her eyes rolled back into her head when he plunged his cock into her. He straightened, gripping her hips tightly as leverage to pull her back hard onto his length, driving into her at a pace that punched the air out of her lungs in desperate little cries. The plastoid of his thigh guards bit into the flesh of her ass, creating cute dimples that he wanted to bite, to tongue, to suck, to claim as his own. He sent one hand up to grip her by the hair, brushing it aside to get a better glimpse of the pleasure on her face, happy to once again feel the soft, warm strands beneath his calloused fingertips.
Everything about her seemed designed to drive him mad. He wanted more, more, always more, wanted her fully nude below him, to see the sensual curve of her back and her bare tits bouncing with every thrust, to have everything, all of her, to look into her eyes as they went hazy with pleasure—but for now this was all he had. And still, how kriffing good it was, the long minutes he could steal sheathing himself in her heat, reveling in the way just a slight change in angle of his cock had her melting for him.
Then her body suddenly stilled completely, her hips no longer thrusting back to meet him, only rocking gently with his movements, before a shudder passed along her spine and her head was thrown back and he could see she was no longer entirely here, lost in her pleasure, a far-off smile playing along her lips and then her mouth opened wide and she cried out and shuddered even harder beneath him, cumming violently as he kept fucking into her without mercy, muttering filth that he wasn’t even sure she could hear.
“That’s it. Take it. Fuck, you take me so well, squeezing that tight little cunt around my cock. Feels so good when you cum around me. Can barely stand seeing your hot fucking ass like this, bouncing while I take you from behind. Gonna cum in you, gonna fill you up, fuck!” 
Crosshair’s vision blurred as he found he couldn’t hold back any longer, barely able to keep his balance as his orgasm overcame him. The feeling of his hot seed spurting impossibly deep inside Dara filled him with satisfaction to match his pleasure, and he bent over to lazily mouth at her neck, knowing that, at least for today, she remained marked by him. He found he didn’t want to withdraw from her even as he felt himself growing softer, wondering how long he could get away with staying just like this, his cock warm and Dara beneath him just a little longer.
It was Dara who took the initiative, edging forward and collapsing onto the duracrete with a satisfied hum. Crosshair replaced his codpiece before laying down next to her, one arm tucked beneath his head, as she rolled over and tugged her pants back up.
He frowned, noticing scrapes along her knees before the bare skin disappeared beneath clothing.
“I hurt you,” he muttered. His contentment leaked out of him, deflating rapidly like air from a balloon.
Dara shrugged, unaffected, looking up into the darkening sky. “It’s just a few scratches.”
“Yes, but—” Crosshair huffed in frustration. She was right, he didn’t understand why he was feeling this way, a strange sort of misery suddenly hovering over him. “Your hands just healed,” he finished lamely, and that didn’t explain anything.
She chuckled, still not looking at him. “Well, what did you expect? Duracrete’s not a forgiving surface.” He was silent, not sure how to articulate anything, because she was right, he should’ve known, hadn’t cared enough to think about her comfort, too occupied with want, with pushing her, with taking her roughly, and—
A hand squeezing his interrupted the spiral. Dara was looking at him, brow furrowed with concern, and he wasn’t sure what she was seeing on his face. A part of him wanted to storm off, push her away and go somewhere quiet to sort through whatever this mess was, but then she was squeezing his hand again and he fought the urge.
“Hey—” Her voice was soft, soothing. “It’s okay. It was worth it. I liked it.”
Crosshair let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding and nodded, not trusting his voice. Dara let go of his hand and looked back to the sky, giving him a break from scrutiny and a few precious moments to recover before she pressed again.
Her voice was casual, nonjudgmental, when she resumed. “You’ve bruised me before,” she observed, hastily continuing before he could react, “I liked that too. What’s different about this time?”
He popped a toothpick in his mouth, worrying it with his tongue, contemplating for a moment, before muttering, “That was on purpose. This—it was an accident. I didn’t think.” Maybe if he had, he would be equally as pleased with her scraped knees as the other evidence of his roughness, the fading marks from before that still littered her hips and shoulders.
“Ah.” She was looking at him again, too sympathetic and beneath it a little amused, and he didn’t like any of that. “Do you always have to be in control during sex?”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me. I get that enough from Tech,” Crosshair shot back testily. She raised her hands in a gesture of surrender, and he felt a little better, back in the familiar territory of banter. It was okay, he was okay, she liked it and she still wanted him, and he reached toward her to grasp her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Dropping his already gravelly voice even lower, he murmured huskily, “When I hurt you, it will be on purpose, and you’ll be begging me for it.”
Dara shivered and he felt his cock twitch with renewed arousal. He leaned in to steal a kiss, feeling her mold to him and tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue, ready to deepen the contact and spend the rest of the night exploring ways to finally make her beg.
“Crosshair!” He sighed at the familiar, young voice calling to him as he broke away. Dara recovered quickly, smirking in amusement as he hauled himself up and stalked to the edge of the roof. At the bottom of the ladder, Omega was smiling up at him, a ray of sunshine in the fading light of the evening. Behind her, Hunter raised an eyebrow at him knowingly.
“It’s time for late meal!” His sister shouted up.
Sighing again, Crosshair returned to retrieve his rifle. Hesitating a moment, he offered a hand to Dara to help her up, but she waved him away, gaze returning to the slowly appearing stars. Wordlessly, he padded over to the ladder and began his descent, pausing only a moment to take in the languid, satisfied lines of her form before he left her behind.
Tag list: @stardusthuntress @skellymom @megmegalodondon @somewhere-on-kamino @morerandombullshit @zahmaddog @flaming-dumpster
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justagalwhowrites ¡ 2 years ago
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Lavender - Ch. 28
You get ready to leave the QZ - probably forever. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-27 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Warnings: Canon typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only
Length: 4K
A/N: If you're seeing this and feeling behind, it's probably because I put up two chapters in a day! Go back for chapter 27 first :)
You kept Ellie close, flanked by Joel and Tess as you made your way back across the QZ. They slowed down a bit once there was some distance between you and the Firefly hideout, reassured that FEDRA wouldn’t be showing up at any second to start arresting people. 
You weren’t sure there was a safe way out of this situation. Not that you actually thought Joel would kill a child - you doubted Tess would but didn’t know her well enough to know for sure - but if you managed to slip away, the Fireflies would be after you immediately. 
In a time where you could freely move between cities, you might have taken Ellie to a bus stop or train station and gotten the hell out of there. But the QZ was an immensely finite space. There weren’t many rocks under which to hide. 
“OK,” Tess said, looking between you, Joel and Ellie. “I’m going to check on our path out. Doc, you go do whatever you need to do, be back here in three hours. The kid stays with Joel.” 
“No,” you shook your head. “Ellie stays with me.” 
“Then you stay here,” Tess shrugged. “We’re not about to let our key to a way across country out of our sight.” 
You sighed and turned to Ellie, a hard look on her face, and tugged her into the kitchen. 
“You’re not seriously considering leaving me with these psychos?” She asked, voice low. 
“They’re not bad,” you said. “Joel… he’s a good person, he’s not going to do anything to hurt you. He just might be an asshole.” 
“How much of an asshole,” she narrowed her eyes at you. 
“Enough to be annoying about it, not enough to do any damage,” you smiled. “Promise. But I have to go shower and change and grab some things, if I try to cross the country smelling like this they’re going to throw me out of the car before we even make it to Pennsylvania.” 
“Fine,” she muttered. 
“Try not to poke the bear though,” you said, looking back toward Joel and Tess talking quietly in the living room. “Not worth the hassle.” 
She sighed dramatically in the way that only teenaged girls seemed to be able to do and stomped back to the living room. 
“Back in three hours,” you said. 
“Should probably tell Andrew you’re leaving this time,” Joel muttered, flopping on the couch. 
“Yes, the next time the Fireflies grab me off the street and hold me captive for two weeks, I’ll try to leave a note first,” you snapped. He sat up a bit, looking at you, frowning. “What, did you think I was there on purpose?” 
He settled back into the couch. 
“Figured you and Tommy’d decided to do something stupid,” he replied, looking you up and down. “You OK?” 
You were taken aback by the question. 
“Fine,” you replied. “Just really need a shower. Back soon.” 
The shower might have been cold but it might have been the best one you’d ever had. You took your time, scrubbing every inch of yourself, washing your hair twice. You were shivering when you were done but you knew it was probably the last time you’d be clean for a while, you wanted to take advantage of it. 
You tried to pack as quickly as you could but you took a few minutes to make your bed and clean the glass that Ellie had used two weeks earlier, putting it away. You knew you’d likely never see Boston again, let alone this apartment so you wanted to leave it in a good way. You’d lived here for nearly half your life. It was small, parts were worn, but it had been yours. It was hard to reckon with leaving everything behind. 
You packed some clothes, trauma gear, all the research notes you had about the effective treatment you’d found, water bottles, the book of poetry Beth left you. For the second time in your life, you took the picture of you, Joel and Sarah out of its frame and tucked it into your bag, knowing you likely would never return. You did the same with the pictures of your grandmother and Becca. You got the photo of Joel and Tess out of the notebook in the drawer and tucked it away, too. You grabbed a handful of ribbons that you’d collected through the years, like bringing them meant you weren’t leaving part of yourself behind. You took all the food you could from your kitchen - jerky, dried fruit. Every birth control pill pack and broad spectrum antibiotic you had. Finally, you put the old sweatshirt you’d worn during the outbreak in your bag. You still wore it when you felt lonely, put it on and remembered how you’d felt when Joel had given it to you the day you graduated. You’d been tipsy on champagne and he looked so goddamn proud it made your heart ache. 
You sat at your kitchen table and wrote a short note, the only one you felt you needed to write. “Derek,” you wrote. “I’m sorry for everything that happened. Know that I loved you the best I could and know that you deserve more than that. Thank you for everything.” You put it with the framed photo you had taken of him reading in your apartment. 
Before you took a last look around, you went into the stash below the floorboard and brought up all your extra ration cards and ammunition. Not that you had your gun any more thanks to Marlene but hopefully Joel or Tess could use it. You pocketed some ration cards and put the rest in the bag you usually brought to school, along with the photo, the note and as much of your other research as it could hold before setting off to Andrew’s. 
Elizabeth was shrieking with laughter when you got to their door. You waited a second before knocking, savoring the sound while you could. The thought of never hearing it again put a knot in your throat. You took a deep breath before you knocked. 
There was some chaos on the other side of the door, you could hear Andrew trying to herd his children out of the way, followed by the frantic turning of the deadbolt and him ripping the door open, the knob slamming into the wall as he all but jumped into the hall to hug you. 
“Holy shit I thought you were dead,” he held you tight, backpack and all, crushing you to his chest. You hugged him back, trying to remember what it was like the first time you’d held him. You’d both been so different then - he’d just been a teenager, he’d gotten slightly taller since then. It was hard to think of leaving him behind. 
“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice thick. “I’m really sorry…” 
He stepped back, pulling you inside, looking you up and down. 
“Are you coming back or are you leaving?” He asked. 
“Leaving,” you said quietly. 
“Auntie Doc!” Elizabeth ran over to you, her little bare feet slapping against the linoleum floor. “Did you know that giraffes’ tongues can be 20 inches long? That’s almost two feet!” 
“No way, really?” You smiled, trying not to cry. “That’s so long! What do they do with it all?” 
Jess ran out from the bedroom and hurled herself at you, her red hair flying. You barely caught her. 
“Thank God!” She said tearfully. She clung to you for a second before falling back. “Where the hell were you? We’ve been worried sick!” 
“I know and I’m sorry,” you said. Elizabeth was looking up at the adults, confused. “Can we stash the kids for a minute? I need to talk to you guys.” 
Jess nodded before taking Elizabeth’s hand and scooping up Jonah, setting them up in their room with some toys before closing the door. 
“We’ve got about five minutes before one of them winds up dead,” She said. 
“I’ll try to be quick,” you said, handing the canvas bag to Andrew who took it with a frown. You slid your pack off your back and to the floor before sitting on the couch. He sat beside you.“That’s for you. My apartment keys are in there, too. When you can or want, go take whatever you might like.” 
Andrew looked at you and frowned. 
“You’re talking like you’re not coming back…” 
“I don’t think I am,” you said quietly. 
“No,” he shook his head, looking away from you for a moment before turning back, tears in his eyes. “No, see, we don’t do this. You and me, together, that’s how we do this…” 
“It’s not going to happen this time,” you said. “I have a student, the one I’ve told you about… The Fireflies are taking her across country. Something happened with her and… They think she might be immune.” 
“Immune?” Jess frowned, sinking onto the couch beside her husband. “Like can’t turn?” 
You nodded. 
“That doesn’t make sense,” Andrew said. “That… we’d have seen that by now if it were possible.” 
“That’s where I’ve been the last two weeks,” you said. “She showed up at my house with a half healed bite, I was trying to take her to the clinic to see if I could get the cordyceps out and the Fireflies found us. They’ve been monitoring her for the last two weeks. She hasn’t changed, the cordyceps haven’t advanced. I never got a chance to remove them, they just… aren’t attacking her. They’re bringing her to their lab out west and I’m going with them.” 
“No,” Andrew said again. “Fuck the Fireflies, who the hell knows what they’ll do with anything they get from her…” 
“That’s why I have to go,” you said. “I have to make sure whatever they’re doing they’re doing it right. But more importantly, I have to protect that girl. No one is on her side, Andrew, no one. She has no one. She’s going to vanish and no one is going to notice, they’re all going to assume she fell through the cracks. Someone has to be on her side, she can’t go through it all alone.” 
You didn’t want to give them time to argue. 
“In the bag is all the research I didn’t want to try to haul in the backpack that I might want,” you said. “I’m hoping I’ll have access to a radio so if there’s something I desperately need, I’ll get word to you and you can relay it over. There’s more at my place but it’s even older. I’d appreciate if you could get it and hold onto it for me, though. 
“There’s also something in there for Derek, if you wouldn’t mind dropping it off. Doesn’t need to be soon, whenever you want but I’d appreciate if you waited until I’d been gone for a week or two first. I don’t want him thinking I took off because of him or something. I also put my stash of ration cards in there. I kept some to hopefully bribe someone with if I need to on the way out but the rest are yours.” 
“What am I supposed to do without you?” He asked. 
“I don’t know,” you sniffed, starting to cry. “Let me know if you figure it out because I’m going to be lost without you.” 
He pulled you into a tight hug and you pressed your face into his shoulder. 
“I owe you everything, you know,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. 
“I wouldn’t be here without you,” he replied, holding you close for another moment before pulling back. “The end of the world fucking sucked but I’ve always felt like it at least got me my wife and my best friend out of the deal. And now you’re leaving.” 
“You’re my family,” you smiled tightly, putting a hand on his knee. “But you’ve got your own family now and you’re doing a hell of a job with them. Keep it up, OK?” 
“Yeah,” he nodded. 
“Never thought I’d get another sister,” Jess sniffed. “But damn, I lucked out.” 
“I never had one to begin with,” you smiled at her. “But if I had, I think she’d have paled in comparison to you.” 
There was a clatter from the bedroom. Jess dried her eyes. 
“Let me get the kids before they hurt themselves,” she said. “You have to say goodbye to them, too…” 
It took everything you had to not cry as Elizabeth babbled to you about giraffes - the animal from today’s science book - and Jonah tugged at your shirt. You hugged them both tightly, told them how much you loved them, tried to cover the feeling of your heart cracking open with longing to hold them just a while longer. 
Andrew walked you to the door, his arm around your shoulders. 
“Even if we never had to save each other, I’d still be so glad we met,” he said. 
“Me too,” you smiled through the tears. 
“I’m just deciding this isn’t goodbye,” he said. “It’s see you later, OK? We’ll see you again. It’s you and me, that’s how we do this.” 
“Yeah, OK,” you laughed a little and he pressed his lips to your forehead. 
“Radio when you make it, OK?” He said. You nodded. “Love you.” 
“Love you, too.” 
The walk to Joel’s felt both too long and too short. You wanted to get your tears under control before you got there but walking through the QZ while crying was a little too vulnerable for your taste. There were still tears in your eyes when Joel opened the door. 
“You OK?” He frowned down at you as you stepped inside. 
You shrugged with a sniff.
“Said goodbye to Jess and Andrew and the kids,” you said softly. “I never thought I’d know when I wouldn’t see them again, you know? At least not for a few decades if we got that lucky.” 
You wiped your eyes on your sleeves. 
“You’re not coming back,” he said it more than asked it. 
“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t think I am.” 
“Doc!” Ellie came out from the bathroom, a proud grin on her face. “I figured out their smuggling code. 80s means trouble.” 
You glanced up at Joel. 
“Bill and Frank?” 
He added once. 
“Shit,” you muttered. 
Tess wasn’t too far behind you, letting herself in just as you’d managed to stop crying. 
“Let’s move.” 
*** 
This girl was going to drive Joel insane. 
She was nosey, a smart ass and too clever for her own good. And she damn well knew it, too. Which only made it worse. 
Thankfully, she seemed to have a modicum of respect for you and actually listened when you told her to be quiet and do whatever Joel and Tess told her to do. 
“They’re pros,” you’d told her as they got ready to leave the apartment. “You’ve got to trust them. Stick close, obey, you’ll be fine.” 
She’d sighed dramatically but seemed to listen, Joel in the lead, the girl behind him, you behind the girl and Tess bringing up the rear. 
He wasn’t huge on any part of this plan. You were a liability outside the QZ. He’d given you a gun and a knife so you weren’t totally unarmed but you were far from a great shot and he wasn’t sure you’d even be willing to shoot or stab anything but an infected. 
And then there was the kid. 
Joel hadn’t been around kids such since… Regardless, he didn’t remember them seeming quite so small or disturbingly fragile. It wasn’t that she was particularly delicate by any means, it seemed like she approached everything that crossed her path the way a freight train would: loudly and head on. It was more that she was inherently breakable, something that was in desperate need of protection. 
Protection that you’d, apparently, decided fell to you from the way you kept close to her. It set Joel’s teeth on edge. You might have been capable of protecting her in the QZ - you had connections, after all, and you could certainly patch her up when she got hurt. He was sure you’d have no problem shouting down some FEDRA asshole on the girl’s behalf. But raiders and infected? Those were another story. 
But he only had to get the two of you across Boston. Then he’d have a car and could go find Tommy. And leave you to the Fireflies. 
He ground his teeth. 
He’d cross that bridge when he came to it. 
He made it to the fence line, ducking under first while Tess held it up for you and the girl to scramble through before following behind. 
“Holy shit,” the kid breathed, looking up as though the sky should be fucking different a few feet outside the wall. 
“Ellie!” You hissed, grabbing her and tugging her down beside you. 
“Sorry,” she winced. “I’ve just never been outside!” 
Joel watched the searchlight and you tugged the girl lower against you as it passed overhead. 
“Go,” Tess ordered once it had cleared. 
He led you along the wall, staying pressed close against it, until they were close to the next gap… and ran almost head first into a guard. 
“Hey!” He yelled, raising his gun. 
“Fuck,” Joel muttered, putting his hands up, trying to maneuver himself in front of you. You grabbed the girl and tucked her behind your body before raising your hands, too. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” The guard snapped. Joel tried to not groan. 
“Look,” he began but he cut him off. 
“Thought I warned you that we were cracking down and now you’re just, what, leading a fuckin’ field trip?” He demanded. 
“This is all just a big misunderstanding,” you smiled a little. “I’m sure we can work it out…” 
“Did I tell you that you could fuckin’ talk?” The man pointed his gun at you. Joel’s jaw twitched. 
“If you just want to give me a second,” your voice was calm. “There are some cards in my back pocket. I’m going to get them out, you can have them, they’re yours, OK?” 
The man paused, gun still pointed at you. 
“Let’s seem ‘em,” he said. 
Joel glanced back at you as you moved slowly, just one hand, and pulled out a wad of cards, approaching the guard slowly and handing them over. You stepped back, glancing behind you as you did, lining yourself up with the girl, staying in front of her. 
“Thanks,” he pocketed them. “For that, I won’t kill you.” 
“What more do you fuckin’ want man?” Tess asked. “Let us do this run and we’ll give you half.” 
“Need a lot more than fuckin’ half if you want me risking my neck for you assholes,” he snapped. “Turn around, down on your knees, hands on your head, let’s go.” 
You looked at Joel, your eyes wide. Your head moved, ever so slightly, once. A shake. For some reason, this was a bridge too far.
“You can have it all,” he said quickly. “All the cards from this run, they’re yours.” 
“I said down on your fuckin’ knees!” The gun was up. 
“Alright, Jesus,” Tess muttered, turning around and looking to you and Ellie. “Just get down…” 
You and the girl shared a look as you got to your knees and Joel followed, watching you out of the corner of his eye. 
“I know a lot of high up people in FEDRA here,” you said as the man went to Tess. “Want a nice, cushy gig? I can make that happen…” 
“Yeah I bet you fuckin’ can,” he scoffed. “Crawling out of the QZ like a fuckin’ rat screams power…” He pressed his scanner to Tess’ neck. 
“Seriously?” She snapped. “We were coming from inside…” 
“Unauthorized exit,” he showed her the screen. “That’s a hanging offense.” 
“Pills,” Joel said quickly. “Half off.” 
“All off,” the man countered. 
“I’m a doctor,” you said quickly. “You won’t even need to wait for them to do a run, I’ll get you as many as you want, I’ve got access…” 
The scanner pressed to Joel’s neck. 
“Two for two,” he shook his head. “Not lookin’ too hot for the field trip…” 
He scanned you next. 
“Looky here,” he turned the scanner around. “Unauthorized. Exit. Hope your powerful friends are free to bail you out…” 
“Name it,” you said quickly, pleading. “I’ll give you whatever you want…” 
He pressed the scanner to the girl’s neck and she screamed, leaving him yelping in pain, clutching his leg. 
You moved quickly, twisting and grabbing the girl, all but throwing her behind you as you scrambled to your feet and the guard yanked a knife from his leg. 
“Fucking bitch!” He raised the gun. 
Joel jumped between you and the guard. 
“She’s freaked out, I’m sorry,” you said quickly. “It’s a misunderstanding, it’s all a misunderstanding. I can still get you whatever you want, I can get you more cards, I can get you pills…” 
“No, fuck you,” he snarled, pressing forward. 
“We can work this out,” Joel kept his hands up, glancing behind him. Your eyes were wide, the girl peering over your shoulder. Your arms were behind you, trying to hold her back as you shielded her. He looked back at the guard. “Just put the gun down.” 
“I don’t fuckin’ think so.” 
The man’s finger twitched toward the trigger and, for half a moment, it was 20 years ago. He was holding Sarah. He was scared. He needed to protect her. Life without her wasn’t worth it, he needed to keep her safe. 
He lunged for the guard before he was fully aware of what he was doing, knocking the gun aside and bringing his fist down on the man’s face again and again and again. 
There was something deeply satisfying about it, raining blows down on the man who would have killed Sarah, just tried to kill you, just tried to kill the fragile girl whose body you were protecting with your own. This time, he wasn’t failing. This time, he was doing what was needed. 
“Joel!” Your voice snapped him back to reality, the man’s face a bloody mass below his hand. 
The girl was leaning behind you, watching him intently. He looked back at the man, his hand covered in his blood. You darted forward, putting one hand gently on his back, the other taking his bicep, tugging him slowly to his feet. You pulled his hand into yours, looking at his bloody knuckles.
“Come on,” you said quietly. “I’ll take a better look when we’re clear…” 
He nodded to you once. You got to your knees and checked the guard’s pulse, wincing after a few seconds. Joel took the gun from the ground. 
“Joel!” Tess yelled, panic in her voice. She was holding up a red scanner. 
“No,” the girl shook her head and you ran past Joel so fast you were barely a blur, throwing yourself between Tess and the girl. 
“Are you fucking kidding me, Doc?” Tess snapped. “You’ve got me hauling an infected girl out of the goddamn QZ! You have us risking our asses for this?” 
“I’m not infected!” The girl said, slipping below your arm and holding out her own. “Look, I got bit weeks ago, OK? Weeks, no one lasts that long…” 
“It’s true,” you said quickly. “It’s true, she came to me two weeks ago and it was already a week old then, Marlene got us and held us another two weeks, I saw all of it, I swear she’s not infected I don’t know what it is…” 
“I should fucking kill you both!” Tess snapped. 
“Then let’s do it away from here before more guards show up!” You said quickly, putting the girl behind you again. “Tess, you know me. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have a reason, do you think I’d leave everything here if I didn’t have a reason?” 
She panted for breath, staring you down. 
“Let’s move before we have more fucking problems,” she snapped, stalking for the fence, Tess ducking below first. You nudged the girl behind her and you stopped, looking back at Joel, waiting for him. He came and stood beside you, his mouth a grim line. 
“I promise there’s a reason,” you said softly. “I promise.” 
He gave you a single nod. You ducked below the fence and he followed you and the girl into the dark.
A/N: And we say goodbye to Boston and the Boston OC crew! I hope you enjoyed Andrew and Jess at least half as much as I have. Andrew quickly went from a small side character to probably the second favorite character I've ever written. It's the only reason he survived the run with Tess and Joel - I couldn't handle killing him!
I'm really looking forward to exploring some of the dynamics of these characters in the next chapter and, of course, some fun with infected - with some added drama on the books because why not.
I have a taglist! If you'd like to be added, comment below.
Thank you again for reading! I know I say this all the time but this has been such a joy in large part because the readers are such a joy. Thank you thank you thank you for this experience. Love you all!
Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy
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ramblingsfromthytruly ¡ 3 months ago
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"Better study than cry about it later."
21st September 2024, Saturday
[no school]
day 27/50 productivity challenge
💤: 6.5 hrs
🕒 10 a.m. - 2hrs later than i wanted to but it's alright *mad at myself*
morning skincare
duolingo
studied + made notes biology ch: biological classification (not fully)
did an exercise video
re-watered my desk plant
read newspaper
cleaned room
took bath
wrote some poetry
practiced playing keyboard
went cycling
planned, planned & planned till like mid-january *i was procrastinating*
yapped about said plan to my mom
worked on (re)building my novel's aesthetic
night skincare
studied + made notes physics ch: motion in a straight line (not fully) (so who knew ignoring physics for OVER A MONTH was actually not my best idea hehe.. i've studied this before but i remember absolutely nothing *sigh* so thankful for my reference book because the physics ncert textbook looks like absolute gibberish to me)
🕒 4 a.m. - went to bed when i actually planned to pull an all-nighter.. well i'm gonna do it the next day
🚰: 5 glasses
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p1a9u3 ¡ 5 months ago
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PeepHole Ch2: Disturbances
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Masterpost Ch.2 - Ch.3 Pairing: Dylan Matthews x Fem Oc
Rating: 18+ (mdni)
Genre: Neighbors/Strangers to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Slow-burn
Summary: First impressions are always important, luckily Amoya didn't fuck her's up...right?
Words: 1.4k
Warnings: (This story takes place in 2024) Mental illness (anxiety, OCD), Language, Age gap (5 years), nothing really happens in this chapter.
Status: Unedited
Authors Note: I am so sorry, this took forever to come out, it's not even a long chapter. There happened to be a lot of shit wanting to happen as I was trying to finish this chapter, so things got pushed back. I will try my best to not be so lazy and get shit written and posted in a timely manner, but for now, here is the second chapter, I hope you enjoy
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"Hello?"
You silently cursed yourself for waking up your neighbor at six in the morning. You step to the side to apologize profusely. Looking up from the floor your eyes trail up seeing black socks, grey sweatpants, a plain white t-shirt, finally reaching his face to see round glasses and messy hair.
'He looks familiar'
"I am so sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just tripped and this thing is really heavy, I hope I didn't damage your door, I'm sorry if I did and I'm sorry for waking you again." You spewed out
Dylans POV- Tuesday, February 27, 2024 Time: 5:57AM In a deep sleep, Dylan rolled onto his side, dreaming of himself as a best-selling author. He signed books for his fans, gave speeches about how his book was several years in the making, and how happy he was that his fans stayed long enough to see it finished.
-thump!-
Dylan jolted up from his sleep, looking around his room, thinking maybe someone was trying to break in,
"The fuck?" He sits up straight letting his eyes adjust to the dark and looks around the room, not seeing anything.
Or maybe it was in his head. Laying his head back onto his pillow, he closed his eyes slowly falling back to sleep.
-thump!-
Dylan's eyes shoot back open, grabbing his glasses from beside his bed and turning on his side lamp, he looks around his room. Getting out of bed and exiting his room, he quickly and quietly searches around his apartment. Not seeing anything out of order, he silently steps to his front door to look out the peephole. Seeing what looked like a large wall instead of the door that faced his, he also saw fingers wrapped around the side facing him. Letting out a sigh he opens the door
"Hello?" placing his right hand on the door frame and holding the door open with his left, waiting for a reply from the person who woke him from his dream.
Dylan wasn't really the type to get all flustered over a pretty girl, he'd acknowledge a good-looking face but then move on. But he couldn't help himself, you were gorgeous, he almost forgot why he was standing there in the first place until he heard your voice.
"I am so sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just- I tripped and this thing is really heavy, I didn't damage your door- I hope I didn't, I'm sorry if I did and I'm sorry for waking you again." You spewed out, fumbling over your words.
Why did he think that was kind of cute? He's gonna blame it on the fact that he just woke up and is still delirious, he didn't notice how your eyes slowly dragged up his body before, too busy dragging his own eyes over your body. When his eyes finally met yours the first thing he thought of was a siren, not one of those magical mermaids, but a siren, the ones who sing to sailors and drag them to their deaths and eat away at their drowned bodies. He's not going to lie to himself, he definitely thinks it's sexy, your eyes included. If he wasn't supposed to formulate a response to you he'd just keep staring, but he's been staring for too long.
"Ahem- You're fine- it's fine, you're good. Are you ok, that was pretty loud, did you hurt yourself?" If he could slap himself right now he would for sounding so stupid. -End of Dylan's POV
"I'm good, just hit my head a little, again I'm really sorry. You can go back to sleep, I'll be sure to not disturb you anymore." You apologize again, feeling like you probably ruined his routine.
'He really does look familiar'
-click-
You hear your own door open this time, turning to see your mom step out with a worried look on her face until she notices you standing away from her.
"O moj BoĹže, What is taking so long? Why are you just standing there?" Your mom steps out of your apartment, finally noticing the tall man standing in front of you. (Translation: oh my god)
"Sorry Mama, I tripped and woke him up, the thing is so damn heavy I dropped it twice." You motion to the man standing in front of you finally breaking eye contact with him
You hold onto the bed frame, bracing your shoulder against the side of it and sliding it down a little so it isn't blocking your door anymore.
"Oh we're sorry, please go back to bed we'll be sure to not bother you anymore." Your mom apologized for again you as she looked up at the man.
"Yeah- no it's ok, I wasn't even sleep. I- Do you guys need help?" He lied. He was asleep, having a nice dream too.
"Nonono- you don't have to do that we can figure it out ourselves, please don't let me bother you anymore." You look back up at him, giving him a small smile before turning to your mother.
"Amoya, maybe let the man help. My back is killing me anyway." Your mother looks back at the man smiling up at him. "I strained my back bringing these boxes up here, you wouldn't mind helping my daughter bring this one thing in would you"
Stepping next to you, your mom sly whispers to you. "He's cute" Sighing to yourself, you pinch the bridge of your nose
"No no, not at all." Dylan steps up grabbing onto the headboard. "It's just this right?"
You nod your head as you step to the other end to help him carry it inside as your mom holds the door open "Thank you, again I'm so sorry for waking you up."
You know you're apologizing a lot but you can't help it, you feel like an idiot.
"And again it's fine really." Noticing you stepping to the other end of the headboard "I got it, just hold the door for me, yeah?" Crouching down Dylan lifts the headboard from the middle letting it lean against his chest
'I- oh ok" You step back letting him carry it, stepping next to your mom you hold the door open, your mom stepping inside and out of the way.
Turning to the side Dylan steps into the apartment
"Second door to the left, you can set it against the wall" your mom instructs watching him effortlessly walk to the room. You follow closely behind.
Setting the headboard against the wall. Dylan stands up straight with a huff pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. You stood at the doorway, unintentionally gawking.
"Is there anything else I can help with" Turning to you, he takes a few steps toward you looking down at you.
"I- uh- no no, that's it. Please don't let me keep you any longer." Snapping out of your daze and breaking eye contact, you take a step back and to the side getting out of his way. “I’ll be sure to pay you back sometime soon”
Dylan nods with a smile stepping out of your room to the front door, your mother not far from it smiling to herself. Getting closer
‘I’ve definitely seen his face before’
You trail behind as he approaches the front door “I’m Dylan by the way, forgot to introduce myself” he spins around before stepping out of your apartment.
‘The name’s familiar too’
“Amoya, I’m Amoya.” You replied back meeting him at the door “I won’t apologize again cuz I’m sure it’s annoying but I promise I will pay you back.” Your mom steps next to you placing a hand on your shoulder
“You should let her cook for you sometime, you two could get acquainted with each other” Nudging you slightly she smiles back at Dylan pleased with her suggestion
“I’ll keep that in mind when thinking of my payment, I’ll uh- I’ll go now then” Stepping back to into the hall he gives a small wave before turning to his own apartment and steps inside.
You shut the door after seeing him shut his, turning to your mother who simply smiles back at you playing innocent as she walks into your living room. Sitting on a folded chair you had brought with you, she crosses her legs giving you a look you know well enough.
“I’ve already ruined my first introduction and apologized profusely like a babe who just stole some candy” You already knew what she was thinking; you usually do.
“I didn’t say anything Ini, Znam da misliš da je sladak” She smiles slyly standing up and walking into the kitchen to unpack spices. (Translation: I know you think he's cute)
Walking back into your bedroom, ignoring your mother’s comment you enter your room to set up your bed.
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prev. - Ch.2 - Ch.3
Authors Note: Again I am so sorry, this took forever to come out, I wish this chapter was longer to make up for the amount of time it took to be published. I hope I haven't pissed anyone off, and that people are still interested in this story. I genuinely want to write this story, my life just gets really hectic sometimes and I lose the motivation. If you are reading this, Thank you for coming back, or if you weren't here when I uploaded the first chapter. Hi, thanks for checking this story out. This is nowhere near done which scares me a little, but fingers crossed it doesn't take me a lifetime to finish.
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lotusflowerbreakingthesurface ¡ 10 months ago
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Wu Xie's Birthday Congratulations
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On this special day, let's get to know the cutest protagonist in DMBJ, Wu Xie aka Tianzhen aka Xiao San Ye, in a deeper understanding although everyone must already know him (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)
One of the best ways to understand what kind of character Wu Xie is by reading the book. I found some interesting meta/analysis about Wu Xie (and PingXie) and I want to share them here. However, everyone has a different perception and understanding of things, so just take it easy, okay? ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)
Note: I'm not good at Chinese, feel free to correct me if you find some mistakes.
⚠️ Very long post ⚠️
Uh, I feel bad that this post turned out to be so long, while Xiaoge's birthday is so short, sorry Xiaoge! >.<
First of all, let's refresh our memory about Wu Xie that was going around on Chinese sites and other sites as well.
Wu Xie's Apperance
Source: Baidu
Handsome, with a face like a crown jade, fair skin, gentle and restrained, bookish, and as gentle as jade.
Slender hands: "Unfortunately, although my hands are slender, I have no strength at all." (Daomu Biji: Angry Sea, Hidden Sands Ch. 42 [MereBear's Translation] | Chinese version Ch. 13)
Pretty face: "Tianzhen, your original face is pretty. Why do you need to be the same as your Uncle Three?" (by Pangzi, Daomu Biji Vol. 8 Ch. 25 [MereBear's Translation])
Occasionally wear glasses (NPSS's interview)
As a lotus flower breaking the surface (idiom): "Indeed, our family’s Tianzhen is a fresh and clean refined little master, a surpassingly beautiful young public figure ..." (by Pangzi, Tibetan Sea Flower Ch. 22 [MereBear's Translation] | Chinese version Ch. 22 | The meaning of the idiom is here)
"When I was in college, a girl who seemed to like me once said that my face was very calm and other people wouldn’t feel annoyed looking at it." (Tibetan Sea Flower Ch. 27 [MereBear's Translation])
"He was young with a slender figure, wearing a brown jacket and gloves, and looking very casual." (Sand Sea Ch. 6 [MereBear's Translation])
"From Liang Wan’s point of view, although Wang Meng’s boss was young, there was a weathered and worn look about his brows that were beyond the reach of ordinary people." (Sand Sea Ch. 6 [MereBear's Translation])
The eyelashes are long, and the curve of the neck is more feminine than that of a woman: "Black Glasses said that the curve of my neck was more feminine than that of a woman." (Sand Sea Ch. 180 [MereBear's Translation])
"The only part of your body suitable for fighting is your long eyelashes."(Sand Sea Ch. 178 [MereBear's Translation])
Wu Xie is the ultimate beauty in the world (NPSS's interview)
Chronology of Wu Xie’s Major Events (Weibo)
Wu Xie's Personality (According to NPSS)
Source: MereBear's Translation
In the postscript of Daomu Biji Vol. 8:
Wu Xie is a difficult person to describe. If I have to say it, I want to say: he is actually an ordinary person.
But this doesn’t mean that he isn’t great. It’s because he’s an ordinary person that people admire him so much for all he has experienced.
I think many friends will hate his weakness and hesitation when they first see him, but as the story progresses step by step, more and more people like him. He is a boy as weak as water, but please don’t forget that in harsh winter, the most formless water will become solid ice.
Wu Xie is a person like that. He is simple, a little clever, cowardly, and someone who cherishes his life. He’s sensitive and afraid of hurting people around him and is the least suitable person to experience danger among all those on the team.
But I let him become the protagonist of the story and let him experience the most terrifying journey, which is probably the most special part of the story. When everyone can back down, he just can’t; when everyone can escape, he can’t.
I really want to say sorry to him for pushing this ordinary person into such a complicated puzzle. When I look at his entanglements and troubles, it’s like I see my own entanglements and troubles. For a period of time, I could even deeply feel the despair in his heart for everything he had gone through. At that time, I wanted to know what he would do when faced with such complicated despair.
I didn’t expect him to survive. In the development of the story, everyone could see how an ordinary person struggled to become a person he didn’t want to be. But the thing that made everyone like him was that he maintained his conscience in all the places that could be turning points in his life. Even though he eventually wore a sinister mask, he was still Wu Xie at heart. He could have a lot of petty crimes and petty vices under his belt, as well as a lot of minor moral problems, but when it came to making the biggest choice, he would always be the Wu Xie who wished everyone well.
“I hope all of us can live well along the way, and all of us can see our own ending. We may not live long, please let us live the life we deserve.”
Wu Xie prayed to the sky when Pan Zi was dying, even though he was in a dark cave. He took all the responsibility and blame upon himself, unable to face the meaning of his journey.
This is Wu Xie, the “useless” one in the team and the most useless leader in the Iron Triangle. He needs other people’s protection and help. He has boundless curiosity and desire, but as long as a person is hurt, his own things aren’t important. He’s an ordinary person who wishes you to live no matter how much he hates you. This is because he doesn’t understand killing or the wealth that transcends life, he only understands the value of the word “alive”.
[2023.03.11] Taobao Live
Source: 瓶邪bot (mtl)
Q: We all know that Zhang Qiling has a gift from heaven. Why hasn’t he forgotten his companions ten years later?
A: I think this is a kind of bond. It really is a bond. Of course I can write a tragedy. (Host: Don’t write it then), it is all logical, but when such a strong bond exists, especially Wu Xie must not be an ordinary person, even though he appears as an ordinary person, he made full use of his ordinary qualities and became an ordinary person who was not an ordinary person (laughs). That Zhang Qiling must have gone through a very painful struggle and intense confrontation. He finally did it. In the end, he may have forgotten a lot, leaving only that glimmer of light, and then he remembered it again bit by bit from that glimmer of light. I think this must be Zhang Qiling’s efforts. (Host: So this is actually because he worked hard not to forget them. This is not a lucky or small-probability thing, but a result of his own efforts) Yes, because heaven is ruthless, and humans are sentient.
[2023.03.24] Douyin Live Broadcast
Source: 瓶邪bot (mtl)
Q: "Restart", this book has its entire story line structure of separation, reunion, and restarting. Do you think Wu Xie’s personal mentality has changed between the original novel and "Restart"?
A: In the main story, he is really a bit naive. He may be a little clever and a little bit of a cunning, but his understanding of the world is essentially relatively simple. When it comes to "Reboot/Restart", Wu Xie is actually still innocent. You can see that he is slowly returning to his previous innocent state. One is that Zhang Qiling has returned, and he no longer needs to show his fangs. But behind his innocence is an innocence that is not easy to mess with. He has sealed up his huge energy, but he can take it out again at any time, and some very interesting things will happen, because many people think that he is a very naive and easy-to-deceive person when he is in a very gentle state, when he is really bullied, he will return to the state of Sand Sea.
[2023.03.24] Douyin Live Broadcast
Source: 瓶邪bot (mtl)
Q: I would like to ask, what do you think Wu Xie’s mental state was when he was about to take Zhang Qiling home.
A: I think Wu Xie was not ready when he hit the road. He was ready only after he hit the road. He was slowly, slowly... he was already ready when he arrived at the Bronze Gate. Maybe Zhang Qiling was not ready. Come out, or Zhang Qiling has left. I think it is such a process. When he accepted the worst possibility, he might have calmly enjoyed the moment when Zhang Qiling came out of the bronze door if he had not left. I think he had a lot of distracting thoughts at the beginning.
Q: Actually, he has a certain amount of timidity and nervousness.
A: I think I will have random thoughts, because just in case, after living in this world for a long time, I always feel that there are chances in this world. No matter how small the probability of an event is, if you encounter it once, you will feel that it is very likely to encounter it again.
Wu Xie's Mental Journey (Meta)
Source: MuzzledIdealist
This one is a meta/analysis from Chinese fandom and it's written by MuzzledIdealist on Weibo. They already give consent to repost it as long as the source is indicated. If you are interested, you can see other analysis on their homepage.
Please note that this is an edited MTL, if anyone wants to translate it, you're very welcome to do it :)
⚠️ This meta or analysis is cp-oriented ⚠️
⚠️ This is a repost, not my meta ⚠️
【PingXie】 “When I Know That I Will Never See Him Again”
Written by MuzzledIdealist
"The things he saw were things that he hadn’t been able to come to terms with. But I saw Men You Ping, so did that mean that I wasn’t over everything that had happened during those ten years?" — [Note: Ten Thousand Mountains in the Extreme Night Ch. 63 (MereBear Translation) | Chinese version Ch. 62]
Why he wasn’t over the past?
Let’s analyze Wu Xie’s mental journey over the years:
A major premise is that Men You Ping has always been Wu Xie's greatest source of security.
Wu Xie is too curious, but as a fledgling young man, he lacks experience and force value. If his curiosity is not satisfied and the problem cannot be solved, he will easily fall into anxiety (the book mentions many times that he was anxious when encountering difficulties, so I won’t take screenshots.), and Men You Ping has been providing guidance and protection to Wu Xie, which can be said to have given him a great sense of security in both physical and mental aspects (here I summarized it before. If you are interested, you can take a look at "Sharing Some Cute Details of Men You Ping’s “Double Standard”").
Xu Lei (NPSS) also said in the interview that Zhang Qiling had been protecting Wu Xie and helping him deal with many problems, so when he left, Wu Xie was forced to become like him.
(The screenshot is added in the original post)
Therefore, when Men You Ping was no longer with Wu Xie, his source of security was suddenly taken away.
During the ten years when Xiaoge was away, Wu Xie must have dreamed of Men You Ping countless times during the long agony of waiting and dealing with the enemy. Especially when he encountered difficulties, He prayed, hoped, and imagined that Men You Ping would fall from the sky and appear next to him like it did in the past, because this is a habit he has developed due to Xiaoge's protection.
He has grown up during the period of Tibetan Sea Flower, but he will still frankly tell Pangzi, "I always feel that a place with a Xiaoge will be safer. If he is not here, at least having a statue of him is better than nothing". The fat man said he was superstitious, but that was not the case, because as a top student, Wu Xie had always been accustomed to using scientific knowledge to explain all the strange things he experienced (there are many examples in the book), but for his subconscious dependence on Men You Ping, he had no way to explain it scientifically and rationally.
(The screenshot is added in the original post or take a look on MereBear's translation: Tibetan Sea Flower Ch. 39)
During Sand Sea period, Wu Xie grew up a lot, but when faced with a desperate situation, he still longed for the appearance of the person he wanted to see most for a long time. Even though he was about to cough up pneumoconiosis, even though he knew that the stuffy oil bottle in front of him was just his hallucination. The pain of those ten years also made Wu Xie addicted to smoking because he needed to use cigarettes to relieve his anxiety.
(The screenshot is added in the original post or take a look on MereBear's Translation: Sand Sea 4 Ch. 187)
The title of the chapter in Sand Sea where Wu Xie's throat was cut and he fell off the cliff is the poem "Like red beans inlaid in the ivory dice, my yearning for you is deep in my bones" (the translation comes from here). Why was this poem chosen as the title of this chapter?
Xu Lei once answered this question in a vx (Weixin/WeChat) interview. He said that this was his emotion at the time. Writing in the first person, the author's mood at that time represents the mood of the protagonist at that time, so the meaning of this poem is Wu Xie's mood at that time.
(The screenshot is added in the original post)
The meaning of this poem is: to express the woman's deep yearning for her husband, her longing for her husband and her inseparable love, and she looks forward to her husband's early return. (From Baidu Poetry Analysis)
(The screenshot is added in the original post)
Xu Lei said in a lecture at Fudan University in 2013: "Wu Xie was doing a lot of things with a sense of resentment in Sand Sea, because everyone abandoned him and left him alone there as a widow. The only person he can settle accounts with is Men You Ping, because he is a person who will appear at a fixed place at a fixed time, so Wu Xie must be holding his breath and preparing to ask that person for something back." (This paragraph is dictation + general summary, the original video is more than an hour long. You can search and watch it by yourself.)
(Regarding the widowhood, Xu Lei once explained that Wu Xie changed his name to "Guan Gen 《关根》" in order to maintain his chastity.)
(The screenshot is added in the original post)
Therefore, during the Tibetan Sea Flower period, Wu Xie had just left the sense of security provided by Men You Ping, and would still subconsciously seek his protection when encountering difficulties, even if it was just his statue. During Sand Sea period, he had clearly understood that Men You Ping was no longer by his side, so he had to force himself to become stronger and become like him. But even so, when he was extremely anxious, he still couldn't help but miss Men You Ping, which put him in a state of both longing and resentment.
This is also reflected in the "Ten Years" chapter. In "Ten Years" Wu Xie said, "After so many years, I no longer expected anything from anyone, because these people will eventually leave for various reasons." This is his complaint. He added, “There are some people you just can’t stand up. There is a chance that Men You Ping will appear, and I may die on the road, but after going through so much, I need a relief and an end." This was his thought.
(The screenshot is added in the original post or take a look on MereBear's Translation: Ten Years Later Ch. 20 and Ch. 21)
However, in addition to this feeling of longing and resentment, Wu Xie also has worries, deep worries about whether Men You Ping will live or die in the door, so he wrote in "Ten Years": "In the past ten years, I have had many dreams. I dreamed of him meeting me when I was young. I dreamed about the white bones in front of the bronze door, and dreamed that he had turned into something like Chen Pi Ah Si when we met again. There were many possibilities in ten years, which were enough for me to imagine and accept them one by one."
He has had this kind of nightmare many times in the past ten years, and it has become a knot in his heart that is difficult to untie, so even if Men You Ping is back now, he still feels that he has not completely passed those ten years.
(The screenshot is added in the original post or take a look on MereBear's Translation: Ten Years Later Ch. 36 and Ten Thousand Mountains in the Extreme Night Ch. 63)
But even so, even in those ten years, Wu Xie had thoughts, resentments and worries about Men You Ping, and thought about asking for something from Men You Ping, but he still couldn't bear it. The moment he saw Men You Ping again, he still chose to cover up all these emotions, so he subconsciously pulled down his sleeves to cover the scars on his hands, just as he said during Sand Sea period. When he sees Men You Ping again, he will not tell him all this, he will only tell him that you are just a patient, and you can rest now. So he took Men You Ling and lived in Yucun, the place where there is legendary ginseng that can make people remember for a long time.
(The screenshot is added in the original post or take a look on MereBear's Translation: Ten Years Later Ch. 41 and Sand Sea Ch. 92 | Chinese Version Sand Sea 2 Ch. 53)
It has been analyzed before that the reason why Xiaoge went to Hangzhou to say goodbye to Wu Xie before entering the bronze door and said to him "You are my only connection with this world" is because for the first time he had his own "desire". (This is a long story, see "Psychological Activities of Xiaoge" for details)
If Men You Ping had realized that he had fallen in love with Wu Xie at this time, then when did Wu Xie realize that he had fallen in love with Men You Ping? Probably when he realized that he couldn't lose him, as the saying goes, "How do we measure love, the pain after separation."
(The screenshot is added in the original post)
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This one is a more in-depth analysis about Wu Xie in Sand Sea by the same writer.
Source: MuzzledIdealist
The sunrise in the desert was also beautiful back then, but Wu Xie had no memory of it. But now that he and his brother are in the world’s second most valuable tomb, he can truly feel the beauty of the sunrise. Because the experience of Sand Sea was not a good memory for Wu Xie. Xu Lei once explained why Wu Xie had seventeen scars on his arms during Sand Sea period. It was because as an originally kind-hearted person, he was forced to do many things that went against his conscience in order to defeat the Wang family, including using others. Therefore, he hurt himself by scratching his arms to relax himself. Xu Lei said that Wu Xie during Sand Sea period had a kind of hatred for him.
Wu Xie has indeed grown up in the past ten years, but this growth comes at a price. Wu Xie gave himself the pen name Guan Gen (Xu Lei explained that it means "keeping his chastity"), and made seventeen cuts on his arm with hatred for himself. When he fell off the cliff, his mood was "Like red beans inlaid in the ivory dice, my yearning for you is deep in my bones" and various injuries that have caused permanent damage to his nose and lungs. From all of this, it can be seen that Xiao Wu suffered from both physical and mental pain during the Sand Sea period, and all of this cannot be summed up by the simple word "Evil Emperor". This seemingly cool title seemed to lightly cover up all the suffering he experienced during that period.
He was repeatedly entangled and pulled between his persistence towards his goal, his hatred for himself, and his extreme longing for Men You Ping. For him, the experience during Sand Sea period was once a painful memory, that's why he subconsciously pulled down his sleeves to cover the scars on his arms when he saw his brother on the day of their ten-year appointment. Maybe he didn't want Men You Ping to know who he was before. But with their tacit understanding, it is impossible for him not to see it, that’s why there was a follow-up story about Xiaoge in "Fishing King Extra" who took Xiao Wu to the Stagnant Water Dragon King Palace to make Xiao Wu suddenly enlightened in order to untie the knot buried in Xiao Wu's heart for the past ten years. Now, the same is true in Yucun Notes when Xiaoge accompanies Xiao Wu to revisit Medog (Motuo). When his lover returns to his side, the greatest source of security returns, and Xiao Wu becomes the "rough jade" again.
"I will exchange my life for ten years of your innocence." Zhang Qiling used his infinite sacrifice to Wu Xie in exchange for a limited benefit (Xu Lei's original words), "Like red beans inlaid in the ivory dice, my yearning for you is deep in my bones" Wu Xie use his ten years to buy Zhang Qiling's freedom for the rest of his life. Some people say that the relationship hurt/comfort is old-fashioned, but I don't think so. The two-way redemption between PingXie and the uniqueness between them is always moving.
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My thought:
Maybe the word "fall in love" or "lover" the writer uses here is too strong for some people lol, but they did care for each other, no matter what the relationship is, it can't be denied, right? There were some questions that appeared in my head when I read the book, why did Wu Xie do that? Why did he do this? Why did he do all of these things to this extent? Then I understood. Actually, Wu Xie, especially in his early stage, reminds me of my old-self, so I feel like I can sympathize with him somehow. His "innocence" is different from the innocence that most people think, Wu Xie's innocence is the kind of innocence who wished everyone well.
And then, happy birthday, Wu Xie! May you be safe and live a happy life with Xiaoge, Pangzi, and all of your good friends! 🎉🎉🎂(⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠`⁠)⁠。⁠*゚⁠+ *⁠.⁠✧
37 notes ¡ View notes
armpirate ¡ 1 year ago
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The Only One || JJK || Ch. 27
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Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader
Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship
Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons
Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.
His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.
Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.
Previous || Next
MASTERLIST
Aprox. time of reading: 15 minutes
Chapter warnings: [Violence] Torture, disfigurement. [Smut] Unprotected vaginal sex, explicit talk, masturbation (male and female).
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Y/n stared at the well crafted ceiling, concentrating on all the details from the lamp after her eyesight was able to focus after a few seconds. She woke up suddenly, in the middle of a deep breath, forcing her body to turn on her back as she tried to find a way to get rid of the pressure she suddenly felt on her chest. Her muscles completely relaxed when she was aware of where she was. 
Sneaking her arms out of the blanket, she was finally aware of it. She only brought the pillow with her, but she had to admit she was able to sleep better thanks to being covered from the cold. She guessed Jungkook might've brought it before going back to his room, either when he went to check on her or maybe when he went for a glass of water in the middle of the night. 
Closing her eyes again, she took a deep breath. There was no point in worrying any longer, she was safe again.
Peace and silence got interrupted by a cracked scream as soon as she stepped out of the couch, resting her feet against something chubby. Startled, and taken by surprise by it, she lost control of her own body and fell over Jungkook's body -who got her as soon as she landed on his chest. That fall worked as a dimmer for her body, feeling the pain on every single one of her bruises at once. 
Soon there was nothing to be heard, except of their gasps and whimpers by that clumsy accident. 
—Are you okay? —he made sure to ask.
—Yeah —she nodded—. What are you doing here? Imagine if I had stepped on your head instead...
—Don't act like it isn't something you want to do —he scoffed.
And maybe Jungkook was right. She certainly would've stepped on him weeks ago, even being aware that he was sleeping on the ground. But, in that exact moment, after everything that happened, it didn't even cross her mind. She was feeling guilty for not checking out first, but that guilt didn't take long to disappear either. Her mind was getting filled with him, his proximity, his fresh scent invading your nostrils, the shiny ring on his pink lips...
She for sure wanted to do something, and stepping on him was the last thing on that list.
—Maybe you're right —she nodded—. But I'd want to be conscious of what I'm doing, at least. This was an accident... unfortunately —she raised her eyebrow playfully.
—I'll let you step on me as many times you want to if that makes you happy.
That sentence, mixed with the look he was giving her and the new low his voices reached, made all of the hairs in her body rise with excitement. 
—Be careful of what you wish.
Still chuckling at her own comment, Y/n tried to get up from the floor, pushing the weight of her body on her arms. A sudden stitch on her elbow made her lose her balance for one brief second, getting Jungkook to sit on his knees fast to make sure she wouldn't fall again. 
—Are you okay?
Still holding her elbow, Y/n nodded. She had been through worse, and her body has been in worse conditions than that. She for sure would be able to get through it with no problems. She also was able to recognize the pain in her arm. Everything that happened those weeks, and that fall a few minutes before, contributed to what she usually called "Common pain". It wasn't broken, and she doubted it was a sprain either. It wasn't something that couldn't heal by itself after some rest and ice. 
—Yeah —she nodded again—. It just hurts a little bit —she admitted, holding her elbow with the opposite hand. 
—Maybe I should call Joonwoo, and get you some medical tests.
—I'm okay —she cackled—. Trust me. It just needs time. 
—If it keeps hurting you after a few days, I'll get your ass to the doctor's, like it or not.
Holding back her laugh, she just nodded and agreed to the deal. She wasn't missing much if she did as he said for once. 
—I'll prepare some breakfast.
But before he could completely get up and attempt to walk to the kitchen, his phone was ringing on the coffee table of the living room. Changing the plans, Y/n smiled.
—I'll prepare breakfast instead.
Getting lost in the way her hips swayed with every step she took, and how small she looked on his clothes, Jungkook picked up the phone only to be dragged back to reality. 
—All of them are here.
Yejun's voice was pretty recognizable, and it wasn't like he didn't expect the call at any point during the day. 
—Good.
Jungkook was still half asleep, and still drunk by the brief proximity he felt with Y/n just a few seconds ago. But the mention of the men that were looking after her while she was at Sanhyuk's brought him back to reality. 
—I'll deal with it later —he let him know—. For now, just keep them where they are. 
—Okay, sir.
As soon as he was aware of Y/n's state, he wasted no time getting every single name that came and left from that house while she was there. Five men and one woman. All of them being carefully watched until she finger pointed at the ones that dared to lay a hand on her. 
After having breakfast together, Y/n was aware of Jungkook's sudden silence and seriousness, compared to how vibrant he woke up in the morning -despite falling all over him. She wanted to know what was going through his head, or whether the call he received was the cause of that change, but she understood that maybe those were limits she wasn't supposed to cross yet -or never at all. 
There was a slight change in the way he looked at her while they were eating. His expression was still serious, but he seemed concerned by the way she tried to hide some whines whenever she had to move her left arm higher than her muscle was allowing her to in that moment. 
—I need you to do something for me —he caught her attention—. If I showed you a pic, could you tell me who were the ones that did all those things to you?
—You don't need to...
—Y/n —her name left his lips in a warning tone—. I need to, and I have to. 
—Sanhyuk was the one who did it most of the time —she gulped, avoiding eye contact with him—. But, whenever he didn't feel like it, he sent someone else to do it instead.
—Was it only one person more?
—Two.
Nodding, Jungkook took his phone out of his pocket and tried to find the pictures Yejun sent him the past night. He scrolled over them in front of her, letting Y/n look at those faces carefully while she tried to remember who was in charge of her punishments whenever Sanhyuk felt too tired to do it. 
Y/n pointed at two of the men that he showed, shiverings rising all over her body as she remembered the look on their faces whenever they were told to beat her up for any bad word or bad look she dared to give. 
Dongsun and Dakho. 
They were shitty hitmen with little to no future in Seoul, at least until Sanhyuk chose them to work with him. He wasn't surprised, Jungkook didn't even think those two had enough brain cells to think by themselves without receiving orders. 
—I need to leave to the hotel for a few hours —he let her know—. You'll be safe here, there will be bodyguards out of the house in case...
She nodded, making sure Jungkook felt free to leave whenever he needed. She also knew he wasn't going to the hotel -or, at least, she doubted that was the reason he was leaving. Right after asking her to tell him who beated her up those weeks? She for sure didn't know him enough, but she wasn't dumb and was able to link some dots together. 
—I'll be okay —she assured him. 
She finally felt okay.
✸ ✸ ✸
The five men, including his source in the house, and the woman were all kneeling in front of Jungkook, with their hands tied to their backs. The six of them were beaten up as soon as they got there, and they were all going to have the same fate. The only difference was that he'd allow three of them die fast, and in the most painless way he could think of. 
A quick sign from him, and the loud and impacting sound of the gun echoed in the plated walls of the place they were in. Three gunshots from the Magnum one of his men were carrying, with five seconds of difference between each shot. 
He was able to see the panic on the other three that were still standing, soon begging for their lives while crying. But not only he was played by one of them, the other two found joy kicking and punching someone innocent, that had done nothing to any of them, finding joy in her pain. It was only fair to pay them the right same way. 
—Who wants to be the first one? —he ironically asked.
Smiling at how pathetic they three looked, he raised his index and pointed at each one of them.
—Eeny —his finger fell on Byeongho, the same person who thought he could play him—, meeny —he walked over to Dongsun—, miny —his finger moved to Dakho—, mo.
His smile looked frightening from outside, cold and filled with all the dark thoughts that were clouding his sanity. Byeongho's lips trembled as he was aware he'd be the first one to deal with all the consequences to his actions, while desperately trying to get Jungkook back on his senses and appeal to his empathetic side. 
He had none of that. At least not when it came to Y/n and everything they did to her. 
—You have such a big mouth, huh? —he raised his pierced eyebrow— Or at least you like to pretend you have it —his five fingers enclosed on his cheeks tight—. Let me help you out to make it a reality. 
Unlike other times, he didn't care about the state of the knife. He thought that the less sharp it was, the longest the agony would be. Motioning to the two statues that were standing behind the three people on the floor, Byeongho was being held tight so he wouldn't be able to move or avoid the knife. An anguish scream leaving his mouth as soon as the knife dented against the right corner of his mouth. 
When the cut almost reached his right cheek, Jungkook stopped, giving him a fake feeling that he was done with him. But that dark smile was drawn back on his face, setting him up for what was to come. 
—Now —he finally talked—, now you'll be able to go around with that big mouth and speak all the bullshit you like. 
Dropping the knife to the floor with a gasp, letting both of his hands rest on his hips, he looked at the job he did, and also allowed the other two to get ready for what was to come for them -although he wasn't entirely done with Byeongho yet. 
✸ ✸ ✸
His head was resting against the backrest of his car, looking at the eight missing calls from Namjoon and the several texts he sent. By the tone of them, it was pretty obvious the other six members were also aware of the deal he made to get Y/n out of there. Although he didn't really care until he read the last text.
"Or you get rid of her, or I will". 
Did that mean that not only he had to protect her from the Choi family, but also from his own family?
When he entered his home, he found nothing but silence, which didn't really surprise him, but had him on a high alert state. Especially because there were no signs of Y/n. 
In any other circumstance, he'd have remained calm over it. But after he messed with some of Choi's people, and after that text Namjoon sent, he felt like he wouldn't be able to calm down, not even in his place. 
Taking off his shoes and throwing them somewhere in the entrance, Jungkook raced upstairs, entering her room to find nothing. But he did see a thin line of light coming from her bathroom, and a few complaints that got his attention. She was in front of the shower screen, trying to get her t-shirt off but always letting it fall back to where it was. 
Maybe he should've stayed where he was, or maybe he should've left, but he stepped inside instead, finding a surprised Y/n looking at him with wide eyes. 
—Let me help you out.
But she shook her head, assuring him everything was okay and she preferred to do it by herself, all that while trying to cover her torso as much as possible. 
—Y/n —he used the same tone he did that morning, warning her to stop.
Her arms fell to the side, and Jungkook was finally able to help her take off the oversized t-shirt carefully. He helped her raise her right arm, getting it and her head out of the fabric, while he just had to slide the t-shirt down her injured arm. 
Something inside of him twitched when he saw all the dark bruises on her ribs. He had been aware of them when he helped her change her clothes while she was still unconscious. But anger got the best of him when he took off her bra, that he didn't feel like taking off the past night, only to find scarred lineal wounds all over his initials on her chest. 
His thumb traced every line, feeling the crusty surface on his fingerprint. He thought that his jaw would break at any point by the way he was clenching it.
—Who did this?
—Sanhyuk —she whispered.
He didn't know when or how, but he for sure knew, and promised, he'd kill Sanhyuk in the worst way he could think of. Everything he did that evening would be a child play compared to it. 
The screams of pain she must've let out, the pain she must've gone through were all in his head while his eyes stayed on that destroyed tattoo. Jungkook doubted he'd ever be able to think straight from that moment and on. At least until something warm covered his cheek, her thumb trying to get rid of one of the several blood dots that were on his face, neck, and t-shirt. 
—It's not mine —he let her know.
—I know that —she scoffed.
He took off the last piece of fabric remaining in her body, before he rolled his sleeves up his elbows and guided her inside the shower. 
Something in her switched. She didn't know if it was the way he was taking care of her, the feeling of his hands on her skin as he washed her up, or the thought that all that blood belonged to the men she pointed earlier in the morning because he wanted to punish anyone who hurted her. She didn't know. 
Her head just moved on its own while looking for his lips, giving them a short peck that would only trigger something else. Jungkook was trying his best to control his possessive side when he saw that wound, but he wasn't able to control himself as soon as her lips linked with his. Cupping her cheeks, he pulled her in for a deeper kiss, while Y/n's hands remained on the sides of his waist, holding onto the blue shirt before she tried to pull him closer. Soon he was in the shower as well, feeling all his clothes getting drenched, but only caring about the way her lips sucked into his with such need. 
His hands were all over her: tracing the curves in her body, pressing his palm on her belly, cupping her breasts in his hands... and she was completely gone for it. She gasped when she felt the cold wall get in contact with her back, arching it as the first reaction. His lips felt warm and soft when they enclosed around her hard nipple, twirling his tongue in circles.
Not able to raise one of her arms higher, she supported herself on his biceps, pressing her fingers on the wet shirt that allowed her to see his arm filled with tattoos through it. Too concentrated on not falling to be aware of Jungkook's hand approaching her core until she felt two of his fingers digging through her wet slit. 
His mouth left her as his fingers rubbed in slow circles on her clit, wanting to concentrate on her expressions. He'd die to have her lips parted the way they were while she tried her best at keeping her eyes open for him. 
—Jung... —she moaned— Jungkook —her head fell back from pleasure. 
—How does it feel?
—So good —her fingers tightened on the drenched fabric—. I need you.
—I got you, doll. 
Right after whispering those words, she whined at the loss of his touch, just to see him getting his clothes off as fast as he was able to. He was sure he needed her as bad as she needed him. A groan made its way through his throat when her fingers wrapped around his growing bulge, pumping him slowly and stopping only to rub his tip with her thumb. She felt it getting thicker with every move she made, and her pussy throb at the feeling of his pulse against her palm whenever she tightened her grip to tease him. 
Jungkook linked their lips together again, although it wasn't for long. With no previous warning, he lifted her body. Both of her legs hung on his right arm, while the left one kept her high enough by her back. He just didn't want her arm to hurt more, and he checked it to find it resting on her stomach. 
Her lips on his jaw felt like hot iron, while the way her fingers played with the hairs on his nape made shiverings run all over his body. It was a dangerous combination. 
He laid her carefully on her bed, finding her resting the weight of her body on one of the elbows so she'd be able to check every single one of his movements. At least until he forced her to close her eyes during a kiss that would've probably made her fall on her back if she had been standing. 
At the same time she bit on his lower lip teasingly, he sinked balls deep inside of her, instantly making her part her lips with a barely audible moan. Jungkook waited for her to get used to his size, he thought that it could take her a bit since they had been away from each other for too long, but her hips moving against him were the bratty response she didn't verbalize. 
He moved slowly at first, enjoying the way her walls squeezed every inch of his cock as if it had been made for it. His body was fully covering her, while his lips were everywhere on her face and neck, feeling in heaven every time a moan reached his ears from that close. Y/n wrapped her legs tight around him, while her fingers traveled the width of his back, as if she didn't want him to move any further from that. 
—You're mine, doll —he reminded her—. No one will ever, ever, lay a hand on you, or will give you a bad look without a consequence following it.
Despite his words sounding harsh, and his hands grabbing her jaw to force her eyes on his, she was able to see something in his dark eyes that she hadn't seen before. One of his hands reeked of possessiveness, while the other was gentle and kept her in place. It was the way he wanted to let her know she was his, and that also meant he would always protect her.
—I'm yours —she finally said, closing her eyes when Jungkook lifted her hips a bit with his left hand.
—Am I the only one? —he wanted to know in between gasps.
—You're the only one.
The speed of his hips increased after the comment, and the moan that followed after, he started to move frantically against her as soon as he heard those magic words.
He swore he would be able to stay attached to her forever if he had to, he wanted that moment to last forever, only having to worry and focus on her pleasure. 
Some loud sounds, that it took him no longer than a few seconds to identify as gunshots changed his priorities in a blink of an eye. Suddenly only caring about covering her body with his to protect her from anything that was happening, until he made them both roll on the bed and fall on the side of it that was on the opposite side from the door.
Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc@amy2006jones @allamericanuniverse @00frenchfries00 @massivelyfullenthusiast
55 notes ¡ View notes
t-jfh ¡ 6 months ago
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
Untitled, 1939
Fujicolor Crystal Archive print, 27.9 x 35.6cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
Untitled, 1937-1946
Fujicolor Crystal Archive print, 27.9 x 35.6cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
Untitled, 1936-46
Fujicolor Crystal Archive print, 27.9 x 35.6 cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
Photogram with Eiffel Tower and Peg Top, 1928
Silver gelatin photograph, 38.7 x 29.9cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
Photogram No. II, 1929
Silver gelatin photograph, 95.5 x 68.5cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
LIS, 1922
Oil on canvas, 131 x 100cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
K XVII, 1923
Oil on canvas, 95 x 75cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
A 19, 1927
Oil on canvas, 80 x 96cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
CH BEATA I, 1939
Oil on canvas, 119 x 120cm
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LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy (Hungarian, 1895-1946)
CH SPACE 6, 1941
Oil on canvas, 119 x 119cm
LĂĄszlĂł Moholy-Nagy Retrospective exhibition at Schirn Kunsthalle, Frankfurt
8th October 2009 - 7th February 2010
Artworks Š Hattula Moholy-Nagy for the Estate of Låszló Moholy-Nagy Š VG Bild-Kunst, Bonn 2009 / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York
ART BLART_ ART AND CULTURAL MEMORY ARCHIVE
Curated blog and article by Dr. Marcus Bunyan:
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▪️YouTube silent video >> László Moholy-Nagy Ein Lichtspiel Schwarz Weiss Grau (Light Play: Black, White, Grey) [1930 / 6mins.+34secs.]:
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Ein Lichtspiel Schwarz Weiss Grau (Light Play Black White Grey) is perhaps LĂĄzlĂł Moholy-Nagy's best-known film work. It features his Light-Space Modulator, also known as a lighting fixture for an electric stage.
Light-Space Modulator is a key work in the history of kinetic art and even new media art, and therefore one of the most important works of art of its time.
Initially conceived by Moholy-Nagy in the early 1920s and built between 1928 and 1930, its completion required the involvement of a number of collaborators.
It was intended to be the centrepiece of the Contemporary Room at the Provinzialmuseum in Hanover, planned (but never realised) by Moholy-Nagy and Alexander Corner, the museum's director.
Light-Space Modulator was exhibited in 1930 at an exhibition in Paris on the work of the German Werkbund. From the point of view of the object, it forms a complex and beautiful set of metal, plastic and glass elements, many of them movable by the action of an electric motor, surrounded by a series of coloured lights.
Moholy-Nagy used it to produce light shows that he then photographed or filmed, as in the case of the film shown here. Although in black and white, the film manages to capture the kinetic glow of the sculpture.
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▪️YouTube video >> László Moholy-Nagy: Proto-Conceptual Artist [2019 / 5mins.+36secs.]:
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Coinciding with the Bauhaus centenary, Hattula Moholy-Nagy and Daniel Hug, the daughter and grandson of László Moholy-Nagy, consider the lasting impact of the artist’s work today. Hauser & Wirth’s exhibition in London dedicated to Moholy-Nagy examines his influence as a proto-conceptualist, whose work interrogated the role of the art object and the artist in society, anticipating questions posed by subsequent generations of artists.
László Moholy-Nagy is on view at Hauser & Wirth London from 22 May – 7 September 2019.
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▪️ YouTube video >> Moholy-Nagy: Future Present exhibition overview at the Guggenheim [2016 / 3mins+14secs.]:
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Curator Karol P. B. Vail provides a brief introduction to Moholy-Nagy: Future Present, a comprehensive retrospective of the work of László Moholy-Nagy (1895–1946), on view at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York, May 27–September 7, 2016. To learn more visit https://www.guggenheim.org/moholy.
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16 notes ¡ View notes
leviosally ¡ 11 months ago
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Play for me the Music of your Heart
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Forgot to make my update post the other day, but ch. 27 is up!
You may have heard of Crowley's Coven, but have you heard of Aziraphale's?
It's his birthday. The ladies take him out. He reflects and considers. Thank you to all who have been reading, we're nearing the end! .
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It’s mid-March, and here on the coast, there are still more rainy days than not. This evening, the steely gray storm clouds that dropped their deluge earlier that afternoon have weakened and fractured, leaving space for a few final rays of sun to filter through. They splash Aziraphale’s cheeks with a rejuvenating warmth as he walks the last two blocks to his destination, that hopeful surge of spring in the air lifting his spirits some.
He stops outside of a modish, white-washed and black trimmed building. Swanky gold lettering stamped across the glass declares the establishment as Land & Sea Restaurant and Grill. Opening his messages, Aziraphale confirms the address against the one in the text Tracy sent him, his heart twinging a bit at the name AJC at the bottom of the screen. He still hasn’t responded to any of Crowley’s texts, though he reads them almost nightly.
Read more here.
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bonesandthebees ¡ 1 year ago
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[“Don’t listen to him. A corrupted Pythia holds no power with Clara,” another voice exclaimed.] You know what gets me about this? ‘Corrupted Pythia’ he’s still stuck in that role to them. There’s nothing he can do to be rid of it, but now he’s corrupted. And let me tell you, hearing ‘regaining his humanity’ get called ‘corruption’ leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth.
But it makes sense that the Priest would call it that, would think that. The Dealthings had him for months. (Not to mention that fact that he can see the tattoo, which has yet to be revealed at this point.
Also the power dynamic is disgusting, like a Pythia has the highest power, but the second you break a tenant, especially ‘damaging the vessel’ you loose all that power because you ‘severed your connection’.
And then there’s the Priest claiming that the Deathlings corrupted him yet still giving him the blame of severing his connection. Like the manipulation of making him think everything is his responsibility, even things out of his control, is what got him this fucked up in the first place (well that and the dehumanisation).
[“I- No, I’m still the Pythia-“ he stammered, his voice breaking on the last part.] I am capital L Looking at this change to pronouns. Just for a few paragraphs, his mentality wavers. Being denied being a ‘good’ Pythia makes the ‘old’ him snap back for a second. The part of him that wanted to be a good Pythia.
But it only really lasts until [“What do you mean, ‘this has happened before?’” He asked, furrowing his brows.] or alternatively Wilbur snaps out of it when the Syringe catches his attention. Though I’d argue the revelation that he isn’t the only one to go against the rules is what does it.
(3/9)
-🌲
regaining his individuality and claiming his body as his own again is a sign of not following clara's tenets, hence why he's now seen as a corrupted pythia :/ corrupted by outside influence blah blah. but yeah in the priest's mind it makes total sense. he was with the deathlings for months, and now he's trying to escape with them again. in their eyes he's been corrupted away from clara's influence.
the pythia is only the highest power because of their connection to clara. the moment that's perceived as being 'gone' the priests have the complete right to take control and try to get the pythia back to following clara
there was sooooo much manipulation in that conversation, but the priest truly believed what he was saying was all true. he wasn't trying to be cruel. in his eyes, this is the truth of how things are. the pythia is supposed to be connected to clara, so since he broke one of her tenets and severed his connection to her, it's his responsibility to bring the pythia back to his senses. the pythia should've been strong enough to withstand the 'corruption' of the deathlings but he wasn't. it's so fucked.
god that convo had soooo much narrative switching it was so interesting for me to jump around with. there are a few beats where he finds himself falling back into that mindset because old habits are hard to break. he's spent the past decade trying to be the ideal pythia. of course he's going to fall back to that at least for a moment.
oh yeah it was the revelation that he wasn't the only one to try and shirk his duties is what snapped him out of it, not the syringe. it's the knowledge that he's not alone. that those that have come before him have suffered like he did. it wasn't his fault his connection to clara was faulty, he's not the first to have those struggles
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angelsanarchy ¡ 1 year ago
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Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 20
Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27
This week was going shit. Varg was up Oystein's ass every other second about some stupid "mission of solidifying black metal", the shop had gotten a formal complaint from the police about property destruction which got him a fat fine. Some drunk idiot fell into a display and broke a ton of records that he would now have to eat the cost over. He was hiding out in his office just to get some peace from everyone. He had Faust pick up his food today because he didn't want to take his bad mood out on Y/n when she delivered his food.
Oystein started to eat his lunch in silence, enjoying being completely alone until the office door opened. Y/n walked in surprising him.
"I thought I told Faust to lock the door on the way out." He realized he had his glasses on and batted them off his face.
"No worries I just came to drop this. You can go back to jerking off on your little typewriter once I leave." She watched Oystein realize he still had his glasses on and he batted them off his face. She shook her head.
"Oh no he doesn't have perfect vision., trust me the glasses are the least stupid thing about your face with that hideous mustache living on your lip." She dropped the bag on his desk.
"Your lunch wench forgot your side orders and I wasn't getting blamed for not delivering them to you directly." Oystein smirked.
"I wouldn't have held it against you but I appreciate you bringing it." Oystein looked up at Y/n and noticed she was in some sort of trance.
"Y/n...you good?" He waved his hand and followed her gaze to the picture on his bulletin board. He stood up abruptly and stood in front of the desk to block her view but she was held her hands up for him not to come close to her.
"You weren't suppose to see that." Oystein said seeing her shaking. He stepped closer to her.
"Please don't. I just...just give me a second." She kept her face down so he couldn't see that she was crying.
"What can I do? Tell me what you need and I'll get it." Oystein offered.
"Trust me I would have run out of her with a giant fuck you if I could have kept my emotions on lock but I refuse to let your cult following see me cry or give you some sort of material to tell them you fucked me until I cried or something stupid." Oystein was surprised by what she said. He would never hurt her, let alone assault her.
"Y/n you have to know I wouldn't ever do that-" He moved towards her again.
"There as a time I thought I could believe that but I also didn't believe you actually took photos of Pelle...like that...and put them on display like he was some sideshow freak." She put her hands over her face now completely in shambles. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to do something, anything to make this better for her.
"I'm sorry you saw it." He whispered and her head shot up.
"You should be sorry you took it Oystein. God what is wrong with you? How did I miss this? How did I not see this side of you and just let myself fall in..." She cut herself off and for the first time since their relationship fell apart did he feel like something had struck him directly in the heart.
"I do...I do feel sorry that I took it. I've felt like shit since the moment I found him like that. I can't...look I'm sorry I can't go there with you okay? You just wouldn't understand what that's like. I'm a fucking mess and this is how I'm coping with it." Oystein felt the lump in his throat and shook his head. Explaining to anyone what he's been feeling since Pelle killed himself felt impossible. It felt lonely. It felt like if he let this feeling bubble to the surface, he might drown in it.
Y/n finally lifted her head and he used a napkin from his desk to wipe her tears. For a brief moment, she let him before taking the napkin and pulling herself together.
"Next time, I will leave your food with Faust." She whispered. He nodded his head understanding that she wouldn't ever come back into his office and he didn't blame her. He sat back down in his chair and looked over at the photo of Pelle. Being mad at him for doing what he did was the only way he didn't let his absence hurt.
The door cracked open again and Faust walked in.
"Hey are you still-"
"Lock the fucking door Faust!" Oystein yelled at him and he flipped the lock on the door before shutting it quickly. He just needed a break. He felt like he needed a vacation from his own fucking life.
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soobjvn ¡ 1 year ago
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TULIPS 🌷⁎︎° ✳︎ CHAPTER 8 : “ suck it, gyu! ,,
↳︎ cw: (mainly) written ch!
[ prev. ✧︎ toc. ✧︎ next. ]
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IT WAS 4:39 when yeonjun pulled his black convertible in front of the entrance to the dorm complex y/n had sent him earlier that day. he knew he was quite early; his punctuality was a bit chronic, “excessive” as soobin had stated. “you know 5 minutes early counts as being on time, right?” he had an inkling y/n could relate to him in that aspect. he imagined her, too, always being punctual, dreading the inconveniences following tardiness.
but yeonjun was wrong.
for it was at 4:39, yeonjun’s time of arrival, y/n (thankfully) knocked over the alarm clock on her nightstand with the 50th hanger she’d carelessly thrown. had her closet always been this sparse? and… did the alarm clock suddenly skip ahead an hour?! she glanced at her character in the mirror’s reflection, a girl with frizzy hair dressed in pajamas she’d gotten god-knows- how-long-ago stared back at her wide eyed. “it’s fine!… this is fine! he’ll probably be a bit late anyways.” and so she got to work.
but y/n was wrong.
once y/n had managed to scramble out of her dorm and into the elevator, she checked the time on her phone. 5:06. she performed the obligatory phone camera face check, deciding she didn’t do too bad considering the 27 minutes she had to dress as well as do her hair and makeup. it was good enough for her.
but to yeonjun, the sight of her was far more than good—it felt like everything. he felt his stomach turn with excitement and years worth of pent-up feelings. he watched as she emerged from the glass double doors of the complex’s lobby, eyes scanning for yeonjun’s familiar face. when their eyes locked, she smiled brightly, enthusiastically waving her free hand and quickening her pace. god she was adorable. yeonjun could do no less than reflect her smile.
“yeonjun!” she hopped into the passenger seat, not bothering to place her bag or cardigan down before wrapping him in a one-armed hug. yeonjun happily returned the gesture, breathing in her amber scent. “you didn’t wait long for me, did you?”
he decided to spare her any embarrassment. “y/n, hey. and, no, no, i just got here a minute ago.” he grinned, watching as she visibly relaxed into the leather seat.
“ok good! jeez, it’s been a long day, yeonjun.” she sighed.
“well.. it’s about to get longer!” she laughed, and his stomach turned again. he internally told himself to calm it down, having only seen each other for the first time in years. but he knew the self-scolding would prove ineffective.
“soooo…” y/n finally put her belongings on the floor in front of her, yeonjun stopping her to inform her she could instead set them on the back seat. “where are we going, jun?” when his eyes slightly widened at the use of a nickname, y/n ran to apologize. “sorry, too soon? i’m a nickname kinda girl.”
yeonjun relaxed his stunned expression to give her a kind smile. “not at all.”
suck it, “gyu.”
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A/N 🌷 TWO WEEKS UNTIL I SEE TXT I AM SERIOUSLY NOT OK
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topazshadowwolf ¡ 1 year ago
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GoopTales: Part 21 Cuddles with Dadmare
Lyra tends to the boys as Nightmare sleeps, but after bed it is time for bed...
Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21(you are here)/34
AO3: Ch 1 (1-4), Ch 2 (4-8), Ch 3 (9-12), Ch 4 (13-16) Ch 5 (17-19), Ch 6 (20-23), Ch 7 (24-27), Ch 8 (28-31), Ch 9 (32-34)
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What had been the “entertainment room” now looked more like a playroom, with toys and games in easy reach of the boys. There were some movies and video games, but only a scant amount, considering they had been adults before who preferred watching more grown-up movies and shows. They didn’t care; the boys enjoyed playing board games together rather than video games alone. This was true even if they chose to break the rules so they could somehow all win.
Actually, it wasn’t breaking the rules so much as coming up with their own, occasionally midgame. Lyra didn’t mind since they were all having fun, even if she honestly had no idea what was happening most of the time. Killer and Cross were definitely the ring leaders in all of this, and Horror, though he seemed older, just seemed to enjoy following along in the chaos.
After a while, Horror moved over by her and leaned against her side with a yawn. Placing a hand on his back, she looked down at him. “Are you done with the game?” He gave a tired nod, and that was when she noticed the tears in his sockets. “Is your head bothering you?”
The child sighed, then looked up at her. “i try to ignore it…” his voice was quivering, and she scooped him up.
“I know you do, but you do not need to,” She stood up. “Killer, Cross, can you both play quietly until I return?”
“uh huh!” Killer replied.
“i wanna color!” Cross announced, and then he waved at Horror. “g’night!”
“night,” replied Horror, who then cuddled further into her chest—the poor dear.
She walked to the kitchen, where she knew she saw a bottle of pain pills safe for someone so young. She dosed out some and gave it to him with a glass of water. “There you go. Now, do you want to stay up a bit longer or go to bed?”
“bed, please, mrs. lyra,” Horror replied.
“Of course. How could I not help you to bed when you ask so nicely?” She answered as she picked him back up and carried him down the hall to the room Nightmare had picked out.
She entered the room and approached the bed. Before she could set him down, he asked softly, “where is dust? i thought he was sleeping.”
“Oh, well, he asked to sleep with Mr. Night,” She explained.
“oh…,” He said quietly. And there was continued silence. Part of her had a feeling she knew what he wanted to ask.
“Horror?” She started, and the child looked up at her. “Do you want to sleep with Mr. Night, too?”
Then the child looked away momentarily before turning back to Lyra and nodding. “but… i should be sleeping alone, aren't i?”
“It will be alright,” She said, and she turned around to leave the room and made her way to Nightmare’s room.
Opening the door, she listened and could only hear the soft breathing of sleeping. Her soft paw pads made her walk across the old, wood floor silent as she made her way over to the bed. Dust was still cuddled up to Nightmare, but she could see that the guardian now had an arm around the child. She set Horror down, and he crawled closer. She helped him under the covers so he was on the other side of Nightmare, cuddled up to his side.
Not long after she finished tucking the child in, she noticed the covers move as a tendril curled around Horror. Happily, the child wrapped his arms around the limb and hugged it like one might a teddy bear. Still, Nightmare was asleep, and this action was done unconsciously. This made Lyra smile as she moved a paw to her mouth to hold back a giggle.
Oh, how she will tease him once this ordeal is over. For one so adamant that he is not a father, he has taken to a fatherly role so naturally, he even fathers the boys in his sleep. Content that everyone was comfortable, she made her way back to the other two.
Cross and Killer were coloring near each other to share crayons. She walked over and smiled at them, “May I join you?”
“sure!” Cross replied as Killer moved over to make space for her, even if there was plenty of space already.
She thanked Killer for being so polite before joining the two on the floor and picking a coloring book. Opening it, she found a picture of a castle with a dragon with four hatchlings. It was labeled “A Mother Dragon And Young,” but nothing about the dragon made it male or female. Lyra decided that she would change this picture to fit her narrative for the image.
As they colored, Cross and Killer took turns talking about their days being here with Mr. Night and the others. “sometimes, i take my coloring book in, and i color in mr. night’s office. i always ask if i can help him, and sometimes he tells me he has a paper that needs some colors or drawings to make it nicer. so i make it look as colorful and nice as possible! mr. night always tells me i did a good job, and he pats me on the head before setting the paper aside,” Cross explained.
“he lets me help him wash up after dinner sometimes!” Killer said happily. “mr. night lets me dry stuff, and then he uses his tentacles to pick me up so i can put some of the stuff away!”
“It is so nice that you two are willing to help him,” She praised.
They continued to color until she had almost finished her picture. She was rather pleased with it and the edit of crossing out “Mother” and writing “Father.” It was then she noticed how quiet it was, and she looked up to see Cross was sleeping. Killer’s coloring had become lethargic while his sockets drooped, meaning he was ready for bed, too.
“Alright, I think it is time for bed for you two,” She said as she carefully picked up Cross. The youngest clung to her and nuzzled his face against her neck. Killer sat up and stretched his arms up to her. Sweeping her free arm over, she scooped up the last little skeleton.
As she made her way to the bedrooms, she glanced down at them, “Now, Horror and Dust are sleeping with Mr. Night. Is that where you would want to sleep too?”
“can we?” Cross asked, opening his tired sockets as he asked.
“please, oh please!” Killer said while he started to wiggle in her arms.
“You can if you two promise to be quiet and sleep. Remember, Mr. Night needs his sleep, so you can’t be noisy,” She insisted.
“we will,” Cross said.
“i’m going to be super quiet, i promise!” Killer said loudly.
Well… time will tell.
Before long, she was setting Cross on one side of the bed and Killer on the other. Cross was curling up near Horror when a tentacle embraced him. He smiled at the limb and started to pet it softly. Then, as his sockets closed, his hand stopped when he drifted off to sleep. 
Killer wiggled around near Dust, who grunted in annoyance but did not wake. Dust did yawn before he snuggled closer to Nightmare. Rolling so his back was toward Dust’s back, Killer then scootched back until they touched back to back. This also meant he wiggled his way under Nightmare’s arm, which was still over the smaller skeleton child.
Luckily, Nightmare did not wake, but like the others, a tentacle curled around the child, and Killer hugged the limb while nuzzling it. At least Killer was being quiet.
Killer reached out to her then, and she tilted her head. “i need a goodnight kiss,” he whispered.
Lyra smiled softly, then leaned down and placed a kiss on the tiny skeleton’s skull. Killer smiled back up at her before he started to settle into sleep. With that, she took a moment to admire the little family before her.
With a pleased smile, Lyra left the little family to sleep. Now, to finish tending the animals.
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Nightmare sat in the shadow of his mother, reading a book silently to himself. It was a pleasant afternoon, not too hot, but not cold either—just the perfect temperature. Dream was away, as usual, helping the villagers. So, Nightmare was left to entertain himself, and he did so by reading.
That is until he noticed a lost child approaching him. Nightmare was a child himself, but this one was clearly younger than him.
“Hello? If you are here for the golden apples, my brother is away, and I am not to touch them,” Nightmare stated.
“n… no… i just… i don’t know where i am, and i…” The child was trembling as he looked around. The child was wearing a shirt with a sloth and matching bottoms. Odd clothing, really. He had never seen anyone dressed like that before. He looked around, clearly confused, with red eye lights, though the left eye had cyan blue in the middle.
“Where did you last see your parents?” Nightmare asked.
The child stiffened and looked down at the ground for a moment. He fidgeted with his shirt hem for a moment before finally muttering a question so quietly that Nightmare could not understand him, just the inflection of his voice.
“I am sorry, but what did you say?” Nightmare said with a sigh.
“what… what does ‘parents’ mean?” The child asked quietly, but at least this time, it was loud and clear enough for Nightmare to understand. But the question startled him.
“You do not know what the word ‘parent’ means?” He clarified, but that appeared to be the wrong thing to do. The child quickly turned and ran, but Nightmare jumped up and followed. His taller body meant longer legs, and he quickly caught up with the small child and grabbed him in a hug. 
The small boy was crying. He kept repeating that he was sorry. “sorry, i…i… shouldn’t have bothered you. i’m sorry… sorry that i… i’m stupid and a failure.”
“Shhh? Now, when did I utter such words?” He asked, and the child shivered in his arms. “A parent is the mother and/or father of a child. Or caregivers of a child who considers the child theirs.”
“oh…,” The small child looked up at Nightmare, tears in his sockets, but spoke with a happy tone, “i just learned about moms and dads!” The child then looked down and muttered the word ‘parents’ a few times as if committing it to memory. If he just learned about mothers and fathers, then this child is likely an orphan from an early age. One that has not had kind guardians. “mr. night is watching me for… the doctor. but he says i don’t have to go back to the doctor. i don’t think mr. night is my parent though… but he is nice… i mean, he’s not nice! he’s mean and horrible! oh! and very scary!”
Yeah… Nightmare wasn’t believing that last bit. The child seemed way too happy talking about this ‘Mr. Night.’ In all likelihood, this Mr. Night was some hermit who just didn’t want a bunch of people coming around by putting up a front that he encouraged this kid to perpetuate. Nightmare will gauge how ‘nice’ this Mr. Night is when he finds this child.
“Come with me, then, sit under my tree beside me and wait for Mr. Night to find you,” Nightmare said as he finally released the child from a hug before taking his hand and guiding him back to his mother.
I do not think this is wise, my child. A mortal is a mortal, even when small. His mother said. But Nightmare could not just leave this little child to wander around alone. He knows firsthand how cruel the village can be. And as much as Nightmare loves nature… a child so small would not last long alone. Saving his spot, he flipped back to the beginning of the book and started to read aloud.
After some time, a voice called out, “dust!” And Nightmare looked up to see another child approaching. The poor thing! His skull was cracked and he had… “dust! you’re here too?” The child wore a white shirt, fur-lined hoodie, and black shorts with a white stripe.
… Horror… Dust…
As the children talked, Nightmare remembered that he was no longer a child, that this was a dreamscape made by his tired mind that he drew these children into. Even in exhaustion, he seemed to want these mortals near, it seems.
How interesting that their minds choose to dress them in clothes they wear as adults…
“i am waiting here for mr. night,” Dust explained, and Horror nodded.
“okay, can’t miss this tree, so it makes sense!” Horror said as he sat down next to Dust. Horror then looked at Nightmare and smiled, “hello, mind if i stay here too?”
“No, you are welcome to wait here as well,” Nightmare replied, then continued the story after Dust explained what was going on so Horror understood.
Cross quietly walked up with a wave and sat next to Horror. Much like Dust, he wore pajamas, though they were pajama bottoms, with his favorite ‘anime’ themed t-shirt. Nightmare smiled at Cross, who waved at him before listening intently to the story. Mother chided Nightmare for keeping such mortals around. He… didn’t like the things she said about them. He could understand some of it, as he will admit, they were not the best ambassadors for mortal kind. Still, they were his, and that was all that mattered to him. He hated ignoring her, as she was his mother, even if this was a dream.
Thankfully, Killer’s boisterous entrance did drown out those hurtful things she said. The child, dressed in his regular clothes, white shorts, black sweater, and hoodie with a fur-lined hood, dashed forward and pounced on Dust. The smaller yelped out as Killer loudly proclaimed “tickle fight” before mercilessly assaulting Dust’s ticklish areas. Dust yelped and squeaked before giggling away. Horror was the one to come to his rescue, grabbing Killer and tickling the babybones, who squealed with laughter.
Dust scurried over and hid behind Nightmare as Cross faced a decision. Who does he back up? After a moment of debating, Cross jumped up and started to tickle Horror. Horror started to turn to defend himself when Killer sprang up to get the larger of the three back.
“Oh dear,” Nightmare said as he closed the book. He glanced back at Dust, “It appears the odds are against your friend. Two against one.”
Dust frowned for a moment, then looked up at Nightmare. “I am sorry for disturbing your peace, but I need to help horror.”
“That is quite alright. You do what you need to do,” Nightmare said with a smile. That was all Dust needed before running forward and tackling Killer. The two rolled around in the grass in a fit of giggles as they tried to tickle the other. That gave Horror the opportunity he needed to grab the youngest and tickle him until he surrendered.
Once the giggling died down, Nightmare stood up. “Care to join me for a walk?”
“sure!” Cross said, and Horror helped him stand.
Killer looked up at Nightmare briefly, then smiled big, “yeah! let’s join him!” Killer stood and pulled Dust up onto his feet.
With that, he led the children to the forest that he often played in with his brother, away from the ominous village and the insulting words of his mother. Once in the shelter of the trees, he helped them climb and explore…
… He almost didn’t want to wake up.
Almost… for a dream is just that, a dream. What matters more is the events in the waking world.
---
next
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justagalwhowrites ¡ 2 years ago
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Lavender - Ch. 27
A trip to the clinic with Ellie goes awry. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Canon typical threats of violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only!
Length: 5.4k
You grabbed Ellie by the shoulder and pulled her inside, ducking your head out the door to make sure no one saw. You kept your hand on her, steering her to the kitchen table. 
“Here, sit down,” you said gently. She just nodded. “Are you thirsty? Hungry?” She shook her head. You got her a glass of water, anyway, and put it in front of her. She chugged it. “Ellie? It’s OK. I’m not going to let you turn, OK? If you are… I can promise I’ll make sure it’s not that bad. But that’s still if. Understand? We’re still at if.” 
She just nodded. 
“Can I look at it?” You asked. She nodded again. You tugged her sleeve up and flipped on the light over the table so you could see. You looked at her arm, running your fingers over the telltale signs of cordyceps beneath her skin. But they hadn’t spread far and the bite… 
“Ellie,” you said quietly. “You’re sure you were bitten by an infected?” 
“Yeah, pretty fuckin’ sure,” she said, then she winced. “Sorry.” 
“No, this is an appropriate time to swear,” you replied. “When… when were you bitten?” 
“Last week,” she said. “Doc…” 
You ran your thumb over the partially healed wound. 
“More than two days?” You asked, looking up at her. The wound definitely looked like it was older than that, at least. She nodded. “You’re sure?” She nodded again. 
“I kept waiting to go crazy,” she said, her voice thick. “I knew it was supposed to happen but it never happened, nothing ever happened why didn’t it happen?” 
“I don’t know,” you said quietly. “I’ve never seen anything like this…” 
You thought for a moment, looking at the girl in front of you. She was terrified. By all rights, she should be. By all rights, she should be fucking dead - or as close to dead as a person can be. But she wasn’t. And you weren’t about to let FEDRA kill her because they didn’t understand what was happening with her. 
“OK,” you said, taking your hands off her arm. She pulled it back against her body, cradling it with her other hand, looking down at the marks. “I have a plan.” 
“Are you going to shoot me?” She asked. 
“No,” you shook your head. “Not going to shoot you. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you get to live a long, healthy life, OK?” 
“OK.” 
You nodded once, getting up and going to your stash of trauma equipment that still lived in your apartment, just in case Joel or Tess showed up needing stitches in the middle of the night. You got out a wrap. 
“First thing’s first, make it so we can move you without anybody freaking out,” you said, sitting back down and nodding to the table. She stretched her arm out and you quickly wrapped it so it looked like she might have a broken arm or a sprained wrist. “The last thing we need is some asshole guard seeing that and shooting you on sight.” 
“We’re going somewhere?” She was watching you. 
“The clinic,” you said. “Give me two minutes to put on something besides pajamas…” 
You went to your dresser and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it on over your tank top. Then jeans, on over your shorts. 
“Why the clinic?” She asked. “I thought…” 
“I’ve been working on a treatment,” you said. “The drug I was trying to make would do what you seem to be doing all on your own - stopping the cordyceps from spreading. What I was working on would only be temporary. I’m not sure about you and I don’t want to risk it so we’re going to go there, I’m going to numb you up and I’m going to take all the cordyceps out of your arm before the end up on the move again.” 
“You think it will move and get into my brain and…” 
“I have no idea,” you cut her off. “I’ve never seen anything like this, I don’t think anyone has. But I’d rather not take risks with you, so we’re going to just pull it on out before it can.” 
You moved your couch a bit and got into the loose floorboard. You pulled out your pistol, some ammo and a few handfuls of ration cards. 
“I thought you said you weren’t going to shoot me.” She sounded scared. You looked over your shoulder and smiled a little. You hoped it was reassuring. 
“Gun’s not for you,” you replied. “We’re going to be out after curfew, it’s dangerous, I’d like to make sure I can bribe or kill anyone who tries to touch you.” 
You put the floorboard back and moved the couch and grabbed the keys to the clinic off the hook by the door. 
“Stick close to me,” you said. “If anyone stops us, stay behind me and let me do all the talking, do you understand?” 
She just nodded. Her eyes were wide. You put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. 
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” you said. “I’m going to take care of you and you’re going to be OK, Ellie.” 
“OK.” 
Ellie listened and stuck close to you, following your directions as you slunk through the QZ. You were getting close to the clinic - close enough that the tightness in your chest has started to ease. You almost didn’t see them in the shadows. 
“Hi Doc.” 
You froze, throwing your arm out and tucking Ellie behind you. Marlene stepped out from an alleyway, smiling. 
“Marlene,” you said. “You’re out late.” 
“So are you,” she said. “Not usually your thing. Even when you go outside the QZ you tend to respect curfew.” 
“You go outside the QZ?” Ellie whispered. You hushed her. 
“Can I help you with something?” You asked her, the hand not holding Ellie behind you drifting for your gun. “We’re just heading to the clinic…” You scrambled for a name. “Veronica here is a student of mine, she got hurt. Trying to help her out.” 
Marlene laughed once. 
“Veronica,” she shook her head. “Well, you and Veronica are coming with us.” 
“No,” you grabbed the gun and pulled it out, leveling it at her. There was the distinctive sound of metal from the darkness behind her. “We’re not.” 
“Doc,” Marlene walked forward. You kept the gun up. “We both know you’re not a killer. Besides, we’ve got you outgunned and I doubt you’d win even in a fair fight. You usually need your attack dog at your back.” 
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” you snapped. 
“Yes you do,” she said. “We won’t hurt you. Or her, since I imagine that’s what you’re more worried about.” You kept the gun up. Your heart was pounding, your legs shaky. “C’mon. Even he’d have a hard time with these odds. You’ve got no hope. Put the gun down.” 
You glanced over your shoulder. 
“She stays with me.” 
“For now,” she shrugged. “Sure.” You opened your mouth to argue but Marlene cut you off. “You don’t have room to argue here. Either you do what we ask or we shoot you, it’s that simple.” 
You lowered the gun, glaring at her. She held her hand out and you put the weapon in her open palm. 
“Thank you,” she smiled. “Always liked you the best of all of them. You were always the reasonable one.” 
“Just not the dangerous one,” you said flatly. 
Marlene laughed again. 
“No,” she said. “No, you’re not that.” 
You brought Ellie forward and tucked her against your side, your arm around her. 
“You leave the QZ?” She asked. “Who’s the dangerous one?” 
“Not now,” you said quietly. 
Armed men flanked you and Marlene led the way, running from shadow to shadow. At one point, you heard what sounded like a FEDRA patrol and you went to yell but Marlene put your own gun against your head. 
“I will fucking shoot you,” she said. “Besides. Do you really want to know what FEDRA would do with her? Especially without you there to look out for her?” 
You stayed silent. 
Marlene brought you to the building you’d gone with years ago with Tommy, to the meeting where she told you about the hope for a cure. You kept Ellie tucked against your side until Marlene brought you to an interior room a few floors up. The men stayed outside. She closed the door. 
“What’s below the bandage?” She asked. 
“Broken wrist,” you said, moving Ellie behind you now. “I was taking her to the clinic for X-rays and so I could set the bone. I put her in a splint for the trip.” 
“You were breaking curfew over a broken wrist,” Marlene smiled a little and shook her head. “I’m surprised you didn’t become a better liar given the company you’ve kept…” 
“It was just business,” you said.
“Tommy was just business?” She asked. “Sure he’d be surprised to hear that.” 
“What do you want with us?” You asked. “If you’re hoping for some kind of leverage with Tommy or Tess or Joel because you have me, your intel isn’t very good, they couldn’t care less if you put a bullet in my head and left me here.” 
“Not interested in you or them,” she said, watching the girl behind you. “I’m interested in your student. And the bite that’s on her arm.” 
You reached behind you and found Ellie’s wrist, holding it tight. 
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said. 
“We’re not going to hurt her,” she said. “Not unless she turns. But I think we both know that probably isn’t going to happen. Don’t we?” 
“Doc,” Ellie sounded scared. You shushed her gently. 
Marlene knocked twice on the door and armed men came back in, going for you.
“No!” Ellie screamed. “Don’t hurt her!” 
They wrenched you away from her, you clinging to her as long as you could before they ripped you free. You planted your feet, making them have to drag you. The second your feet were off the ground, you went limp, making yourself a dead weight, the men straining to keep ahold of you. 
“We’re not going to hurt her,” Marlene said. “This is a precaution. We need to monitor her alone….” 
“Leave me with her!” You yelled, straining again, shocking the men who were trying to carry you enough that you could squirm free for a moment. “I don’t care if it’s a risk, just leave me with her.” 
“Doc,” Marlene shook her head. “Do you really think I’d risk the mind of the one person we know of who’s been able to make any progress on treatment for cordyceps?” 
You just stood there, blinking at her. 
“You were never going to shoot me,” you said. 
“No,” she smiled. “I’m surprised you hadn’t figured that out. But then, I’m a better liar than you.” 
Tuesday, August 29, 2023
If you were Joel, you could probably figure out a way to kill someone with a tennis ball. You probably could if you were Tess, too, but Joel, you figured, definitely could. If you were Tess or Joel, the stupid Fireflies never would have trusted you with a tennis ball. 
You they trusted to not hurt a fly. Apparently. 
You bounced the ball off the floor then and the wall and then the ceiling and caught it again. Thud. Thud. Thud. Catch. Thud. Thud. Thud. Catch. 
Why they couldn’t have decided you wouldn’t hurt a fly with some books was beyond you but you settled for the tennis ball. It was better than nothing. 
You’d basically been in solitary confinement for two fucking weeks. Your clothes were disgusting and the rest of you even more so. 
Marlene had forced you to write letters of resignation to both your jobs so no one there would come looking for you. Andrew, you were sure, had noticed you were missing but if FEDRA thought you’d just dropped off the face of the planet, he wouldn’t have much help searching for you. There wouldn’t be much he could do on his own. Beyond work and Andrew and his family, there wasn’t anyone to notice or care that you weren’t there. 
Thud. Thud. Thud. Catch. 
Every day you got to spend a few hours with Ellie, at least. You were able to check in and see that she was OK, that she was getting fed, that she wasn’t being left alone with her thoughts. She always had dozens of questions. You tried to steer them back to things you knew the answers to and things that weren’t too personal. But she was stuck on one point. 
“You left the QZ,” she said for the millionth time. 
“I lived for 25 years outside the QZ you know,” you said. “When you’re old like me it’s not that special.” 
“But you’ve been outside since then.” 
You sighed. You were splayed out on the floor of the room she was being held in, Ellie sprawled next to you. They’d taken the chain off her today, which was an improvement at least. There was paint on the wall, part of the Fireflies’ slogan of sorts. ‘When you’re lost in the darkness.’ The irony was apparently lost on terrorists. 
“Yup.” 
“Are you a smuggler?” She asked, lifting her head enough to look at you. You rolled your eyes. 
“It’s not nearly that exciting,” you replied. 
“Sounds exciting,” she muttered, putting her head back on the ground. “More exciting than FEDRA school.” 
“I left the QZ mostly to scavenge medications from pharmacies,” you said. “I’d make runs with a smuggling team but all I was doing was bringing in things like blood pressure medication. Once I made a run to Harvard to get medical journals. Why do you find this so interesting?” 
“It’s kind of like finding out your teacher is a secret agent or something,” she said. “Plus, this place is boring as fuck, what the hell else are we going to talk about.” 
“I could quiz you on the name of all the bones in the ear,” you replied. 
“How is a smuggler this boring?” You could hear her smiling. 
“Not a smuggler,” you smiled too. 
“Marlene talked to me,” Ellie said after a moment. You turned your head to look at her. 
“Buried the lead there, kid,” you said. “What did she say?” 
“They’re moving me out of the QZ,” she said. “Tonight. They think… they think I’m immune. They want to use me to make a cure.” 
You sat up. 
“Did they say where they’re taking you?” You asked. She shook her head. 
Your jaw twitched. 
“What?”
“I have a friend who moved out west to work with the Fireflies,” you said. “He mentioned a lab out that way, he tried to get me to come with him out there…” 
“Doc,” she said quietly. “Do you think… Are they right? Am I immune?” 
Your eyes drifted to the place on her arm where you knew the bite mark lay below her sleeve. 
“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, I think you might be.” 
The door to the room flew open and Marlene and a woman you didn’t recognize ran in. It was the first you’d seen of her since the day you’d been brought here. You shot to your feet and stalked over to her. 
“You’ve left a fucking child chained up and isolated for weeks!” You shoved her and she didn’t move to stop her.
“Not now,” she snapped, cutting you off. She looked between the two of you before focusing on you. “We’re cutting a deal here to get what we need to go tonight and they don’t know you’re here…” 
“Who?” You asked. You weren’t sure if you were hoping it was Joel and Tess or hoping it wasn’t. 
“Robert…” 
“Robert?” You gaped at her. “That asshole? You have to be kidding me…” 
“I thought you said you weren’t a smuggler!’ Ellie said. 
“I’m not,” you replied. “I just know some and I’ve heard enough about Robert to know better than to try to do a deal with the guy, what the fuck are you thinking?” 
“We don’t have a lot of options, OK?” Marlene snapped. “I came in here to ask you to keep an eye on her and stay hidden. I think you know well enough to know that we don’t need Robert knowing about any of this.” 
“I’m coming with you,” you said quickly. “Tonight. When you move her, you bring me.” 
“Doc,” Marlene shook her head a little. “Did you really think I wasn’t going to bring one of the few people on the fucking planet who would know what to do with a sample when we get one? You two are a package deal now.” 
You laughed once. 
“Good to know I was going to have such a say in the matter,” you said. 
Marlene shrugged. 
“Just keep an eye on her,” she said. “And… well.” 
She didn’t need to say it. Protect her, if necessary. You nodded once. 
You took Ellie to the far corner of the room from the door. You tucked her against the wall and put yourself between her and the door. She was stiff against you. 
“It’s OK,” you said, watching the door. 
It was not OK. 
The shoot out was loud and you weren’t sure who won. 
“What if they’re all dead?” She whispered.
“Then we’ll get the fuck out of here,” you whispered back. 
You both waited until it had been quiet for what felt like a few minutes before you crept toward the door. Ellie darted around you. 
“Ellie!” You hissed, reaching for her, but she was quick, pressing her ear to the door. You stood to the side, gesturing behind you. “Get away from there!”
She ignored you, putting her hand in her pocket and pulling out a knife and opening it before she ripped the door open and lunged into the hall. You heard her hit the wall with a sickening thud as you scrambled to follow her. 
You froze in the doorway, Ellie on the ground at gunpoint. 
“Joel.” 
*** 
He was so surprised to hear your voice he damn near forgot he’d been jumped by a fucking kid in a hallway. 
“Joel?” Marlene said. 
He glanced her way, keeping his gun on the kid on the ground, before looking back at you. 
“Don’t tell me you’re mixed up with this shit too,” he snapped. You’d fucking disappeared without a trace and you’d just been in goddamn Boston the whole time? “What, Tommy talk you into this?” 
“This is who Robert screwed us over for?” Tess said. “The Che Guevara of Boston?” 
She noticed you then. 
“And of course you’re involved,” she said. “This day just keeps getting fucking better…”
“Hi Tess, nice to see you too,” you rolled your eyes.  
“You know these psychos?” The girl on the ground gaped at you. 
“Unfortunately,” you replied. He glared at you. 
“Alright, cool it,” Marlene said, hand on her lower stomach. You frowned and started moving. Joel pointed the gun at you and you glared at him back, almost daring him to do it, like you almost thought he might be able to. 
It was the first time he’d seen you since that night at the clinic. He’d never seen you like that before. Not even when dealing with raiders or infected. No, you’d reserved that wrath, that level of hate, just for him. It made him sick, that he’d dragged you to that point. That you felt that way at all. That he fucking deserved it. 
He couldn’t even bring himself to fight you on it as you yelled at him. He let you scream, tried to hold onto you and you wouldn’t let him. He’d wanted to touch you so badly then, clutch your frantic, overwrought frame against him until you could breathe. He longed to be the thing that held you to the earth again, the stable body you turned to when everything else was spinning out of control. Instead, he was the thing hurting you. He had been, for years. He couldn’t seem to bring himself to stop, something in him always snarling and grasping and reaching for you if he wasn’t shoving you back and that snarling, grasping, reaching thing scared him more than almost anything else left in this world. 
He’d almost hoped he’d never see you again, just so he wouldn’t have to face the cold detachment in your eyes. 
Then Andrew showed up at his door a week earlier. 
“What?” Was all Joel said. 
“Look, I’m pretty sure the answer’s no but,” Andrew sighed. “Have you seen her?” 
Joel frowned. 
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean has she been here?” He said. “I haven’t seen her in almost a week. I’m checking everywhere…” 
“She hasn’t been at work?” Joel frowned, standing up a little straighter. 
“She sent in letters of resignation,” Andrew shook his head. “I don’t buy it…” 
“She’s not with Derek?” He asked. 
“They split weeks ago,” Andrew shook his head. “They haven’t even spoken.”
“When did she cut contact?” Tess asked, joining Joel at the door. 
“Almost a week,” Andrew said. “She was at our place, everything was normal, and the next day she sent in the letters and no one’s seen her since. It doesn’t make sense, she wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye…” 
“Tommy stopped calling a few weeks back,” Tess shrugged. “Maybe she went to be with him.” 
Andrew just set his jaw, shaking his head. 
“Something’s wrong,” he said. “If you see her, tell her I’m looking for her. And tell me?” 
“Yeah,” Joel said. 
Andrew left and Joel closed the door, standing there for a moment before putting on his boots. 
“You can’t be serious,” Tess groaned. 
“He’s right,” Joel said. “She wouldn’t just leave, not without saying goodbye to them. Something’s wrong…” 
“You think, what, someone who grabbed her off the street would make her write those letters?” Tess asked. “Because raiders are so concerned with their victim’s careers…” 
“If someone doesn’t FEDRA breathin’ down their necks they would,” he said. 
“Were you not listening to her?” She demanded. “She doesn’t want anything to do with you!” 
“Doesn’t matter,” he said. He glanced back at Tess. “I’m not leavin’ the QZ. Just… gonna ask some questions.” 
“She went with Tommy,” Tess said. “He asked her to come with him when he left. My guess is she took him up on it and that’s why he stopped talking to you. He knew it’d piss you off.” 
“He…” Joel ground his teeth. “Don’t matter. I’m just going to look around, ask some questions. That’s all.” 
He went to your apartment first. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to pick the locks but, thankfully, no one caught him 
It was obvious you hadn’t been here in a while but it was also obvious something had happened when you left. Your bed was unmade, your side disheveled like you’d just gotten up. There was a used cup on your table and your medical kit was out. He went to your closet and saw your backpack was still there. He moved your couch and went into your floorboard stash. Your gun was gone. He frowned, standing up and putting the couch back before going and sitting on your bed. He was trying to retrace your steps when something caught his eye. 
On your bedside table was the picture of him, you and Sarah from your hiking trip in New York. His hand shook as he picked it up. 
As usual, his eyes started on Sarah. Absorbing as much of her as he possibly could. It was a relief, looking at her and feeling like he hadn’t let things slip. He still remembered the precise color of her eyes and the way her hair curled around her face. It was good that he still knew the constellations of the freckles on her nose. 
Then, he moved to you. He’d spent more time than he cared to admit looking at the one photo he had of you since the day at the clinic. But this one was in color and you were looking at the camera and he hadn’t seen your eyes in so long. You’d been so happy here. All three of you had been. 
Joel had a copy of this picture on his fridge in Austin. He sometimes wondered, idly, if it was still there or if someone had torn it down since he’d left. On the back, he wrote June 2002 and the words ‘my girls’ as though he’d have ever forgotten who either of you were to him. 
He only glanced at himself, just long enough to wonder when the last time he’d been as happy as he looked here. He knew the answer, he just didn’t want to think about it. About what he’d had, about what he’d failed to protect. 
He put the picture back. 
He justified looking through more of your things as he tried to find any indication as to where you might have gone. If it had been to Tommy - doubtful, given that your backpack was still here - you’d probably have written some info down somewhere. You always brought a notebook with you when you went to the radio. If he couldn’t find it in a few minutes… 
It didn’t take him long. It was inside your bedside table. There wasn’t much to it, just dates - going back decades now - to when you were looking for him. When he’d already given up on you.
11/2/03 - No news - J, S, T, C, J
11/5/03 - No news - J, S, T, C, J
11/9/03 - No news - J, S, T, C, J
The notebook didn’t shift until he and Tommy reached Boston. You missed a few days and then were back to a regular, now weekly cadence. 
10/22/08 - No news - C, J
10/29/08 - No news - C, J
It looked like you gave up on Cassie around 2018 but had started regularly talking with Tommy in early 2016, about the time he made it out west. Your notes with him were simple. “T made it, found FF.” “T says lab is nice, asked again.” They appeared every other week. The last note you had from him was late July. It was the last note in the notebook at all. “T concerned. Things changing.” No mention of you going to join him. You hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, either. 
He flipped through the notebook to see if there was anything he may have missed and a photo slipped out. It was the one of him with Tess. He’d seen it once in passing - you’d given a copy to Tess and she loved it. He didn’t think you’d have kept one for yourself but you had. The side of the photo with him in it had darkened over the years, like it had been touched a few too many times. He swallowed past the tightness in his chest and put the photo back in the notebook. 
He’d given up on you before. He wasn’t going to give up on you now. 
Joel asked around to some smuggler friends to see if anyone had heard from you, if you’d asked for passage. He was about to call it when one of his contacts mentioned a woman in her 30s - which Joel thought you’d pass for - asking for someone to take her to Kansas City in a hurry the week before. A friend had taken her and the friend wasn’t back yet. Joel described you and the man shrugged. 
“I dunno man,” he said. “She had cards, friend had time. Could have been her.” 
Joel just went back to Andrew’s. 
“Anything that’d make her leave in a hurry?” He asked. 
“Besides you?” Andrew replied. Joel glared at him. “Not that I can think of.” 
“Somethin’ happened,” Joel said. “She left everything behind but I have a contact who might’ve taken her west…” 
“Christ,” Andrew groaned. “She’s going to get herself fucking killed…” 
“Already thinking of going that way to look for Tommy,” Joel said. “I’ll find her.” 
Andrew looked him up and down. 
“Never been quite sure what to think of you,” he said. 
Joel shrugged. 
“Not sure either.” 
“About me?” Andrew asked. 
“‘Bout either of us.” 
Joel didn’t tell Tess why he was so desperate to get the battery. 
And you’d been just a few miles away the whole fucking time. 
“Doc,” Marlene said. “Stay by Ellie. I’ll be fine.” 
Your jaw tensed but you stayed put. 
“The fuck you need a car battery for?” Joel asked. 
“Something that’s more important than finding your brother,” Marlene snapped. He narrowed his eyes and she shrugged. “We know things.” 
“You should,” he snapped. “Your fault he’s gone.” 
“Is it?” Marlene asked. “Not what I heard. I heard it had more to do with you.” He felt your eyes on him. Before Joel got a chance to argue with her, she kept going. “Doesn’t fucking matter, the product was faulty so you’d have been fucked without us interfering anyway.”
Marlene looked from Joel to you to Tess to the kid and she sighed, resigned. 
“Here’s what we’re gonna fuckin’ do,” she said. “Because FEDRA’s about to swarm this place, we’ve got a team waiting to take her west and all of us need to get the hell out of here. You’re taking her to my team.” 
“No way,” Tess scoffed. 
“No,” Joel growled. 
“I’m not going with them!” The kid said. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You snapped. 
“Take get the kid and Doc to the statehouse and we’ll give you more than a battery,” Marlene said. “You can have the whole goddamn truck, anything you need to make the trip, it’s yours, it’s done. Just take her that far…” 
“Do you have any idea how fucked it is out there right now?” Tess said. “I’m not hauling some fucking kid…” 
“Why do you want to move them so bad, anyhow?” Joel asked, his gun still pointed at you. Your hands weren’t up as you looked a him, your eyes narrowed. Like you knew he wouldn’t shoot you. “Why’s she so important that you’re this fuckin’ desperate?” 
“Doesn’t matter,” Marlene said. “To you, she’s cargo. Whatever you want, my guys at the statehouse will give it to you. Just get them there in one piece.” 
“You know how they are!” You yelled, all but ignoring the gun Joel had on you. “You can’t trust them to get anyone who isn’t a goddamn mercenary anywhere safely, they don’t give a shit…” 
“I know full well what they’re capable of,” Marlene said. “Which is why I’m asking.” 
“They’re going to get her fucking killed!” 
“No, they won’t,” Marlene was watching Joel. “Not with this deal they won’t.”
Tess jerked her head at Joel and they stepped to the side. 
“Don’t trust her,” Joel said. “Not as far as I can fuckin’ throw her.” 
“Yeah, but she’s desperate,” Tess said. “And Firefly gear…” 
Joel nodded. It’d be solid. 
“Clock’s ticking,” Marlene called. 
“Not thrilled about dealing with Doc but we’ve hauled her further,” Tess said. “And if it gets her out of town, I can handle one more run.” 
Joel’s jaw tensed but ignored Tess’ jibe. He just gave her a nod. She stepped back toward Marlene. 
“They give us everything we want, no issues, or we kill the kid,” Tess said. 
“Done,” Marlene said. 
“What the fuck?” Ellie gaped at her. 
“They’ll give it to them,” Marlene said. “You’re the most important thing now. They’ll give it to them. Go get your stuff.” 
Joel picked his boot up off the kid’s knife and she grabbed it before she ran to you, glaring at Joel the whole way. 
“Should’ve told Andrew you were fuckin’ leaving,” Joel growled at you. You just narrowed your eyes at him. 
“We’ve gotta move,” Tess said. “FEDRA’s going to be here any second.” 
The kid appeared next to you, looking up at you for approval and direction. You put an arm around her. 
“It’s OK,” you said, giving her a tight smile. She looked back over her shoulder at Marlene as you and her followed Tess. 
“Joel?” Marlene said. He paused, looking back at her. “Don’t fuck this up.”
He just nodded and the four of you headed out into the streets of the QZ. 
A/N: So this is like the first canon thing we ACTUALLY see! Yayyyyyyy! Let me know your thoughts on how that worked if you'd like - I wanted to keep the vibe of this scene the same but not create a carbon copy of it because that felt boring. Since there's going to be a blend of canon/OC going forward, I'd love any feedback you have!
I have a taglist! If you want to be added (or I've missed adding you - so sorry if I have!!) comment below :D
Thank you thank you thank you for reading! Writing this has been so fun and going on the journey of this story with all of you has been one of my favorite things. Love you all!
Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy
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