#Obi is a shitty uncle

[persephonesfill]

i know howard's a shitty parent all on his own, but i can't help but wonder if obie ever did anything to make tony and howard's relationship worse. telling howard tony needed a firmer hand, that he was too weak to take his place as ceo. telling tony that howard was too hard on tony, that he understood how tony was feeling and if tony ever needed anything uncle obie would be there. just obie playing both sides to the middle until neither howard nor tony could see the rot at the roots.

[eagna-eilis]

Star Wars Characters at a Family Wedding in Ireland

ANAKIN - Gets extremely nostalgic about his own wedding and makes his adult twin children groan in embarrassment. Is in such a good mood that he isn't even mad when Leia calls him a fascist for voting Fine Gael, and manages to give his grandson an effective pep talk.

PADMÉ - So resplendent that the bride is almost jealous but honestly how could you be upset with her she's just so nice. Gets giggly tipsy over dinner and waltzes with C3P0 afterwards. Touches up literally everyone's makeup for them throughout the night and does a better job than the actual makeup artist.

OBI-WAN - Waits til the night is winding down then magically locates a squeezebox, fiddle, a guitar, and a tin whistle and hands them out to start a sessiún. The sing-song goes on until 5am and it's all his fault. His signature song is 'The Lass of Aughrim' because it makes him feel all literary.

R2D2 - Has at least four too many double Jamesons and literally starts arguing with the wall. Shmii finds him passed out under a table the next morning, wherein he swears he's not drinking until Christmas.

C3P0 - Wrecks the heads of the hotel staff over dinner with all his requests, to the point of embarrassing the other people at his table. Conducts impromptu ballroom dancing lessons while the band plays and charms the pants off everyone with his patient explanations of how to foxtrot.

LANDO - Pulls out a deck of cards and starts a game of 21s in the corner. Absolutely swindles everyone. It's okay though because he puts his winnings behind the bar so nobody has to pay for their drinks after that.

AHSOKA - Brings enough weed to share with a chosen few, like an absolute queen. Ends up hanging out in the loo for ages rolling for herself, Sabine, Maz, Kanan, and eventually Ben. Despite her relative stillness and quiet, she enjoys the music more than basically anybody else and people will quote her fondly slagging Anakin over dinner for the next 20 years.

SABINE - Camera queen who tries to look like she isn't enjoying herself. Fools nobody because she keeps grinning and snort-laughing. Her photos are a thousand times better than the photographer's and are the ones that the couple use for their album.

HERA - Helps Leia gang up on Anakin about politics because goddamn it, Leia isn't wrong. Hands out isotonic powder sachets and paracetamols to everyone before they go up to bed. They're gonna need it.

EZRA - Gets so hyper after consuming so much 7up that Hera has to send him to bed before the DJ takes over from the band. Sneaks down later for the cocktail sausages.

DIN DJARIN - Couldn't get a babysitter so he's tucked up at home watching The Late Late and hate-tweeting it.

GROGU - fell asleep in front of The Late Late. Delighted when somebody brings wedding cake to the house the following day.

KANAN - Literally will not be at peace until the DJ plays Kenny Rodgers' 'The Gambler' because it's not a wedding without it. Once that's done he insists on 'Come On Eileen'. Somebody's gotta be the keeper of the flame of tradition, after all.

CHEWBACCA - Requests all the group dances. Rock the Boat, The Siege of Ennis, The Macarena, The Walls of Limerick, Chain Reaction. Bullies everyone into joining in, except Ben who is the absolute antithesis of craic.

LUKE - Every wedding requires at least one merrily drunk uncle and Luke does not disappoint. Suit jacket? Gone. Top buttons? Open. Tie? It's now around his head while he stands on a chair playing air guitar to 'Hotel California'. Ends up puking in a flower pot. Iconic.

LEIA - Would have been okay if she stuck to wine all night but a single gin and tonic on top of the shitty hotel merlot and suddenly she's having an hour-and-a-half political argument with Anakin. Embarrasses the hell out of her parents, brother, and son by smooching Han repeatedly while dancing.

HAN - Organises the pre-ceremony pints. His sotto-voce asides are funnier than anything in the speeches. Quietly sings along to 'Brown Eyed Girl' by Van Morrison in Leia's ear while they dance, prompting all that smooching.

FINN - Sneaks into the hotel's public bar to check the hurling scores on the telly then reports them back to all the lads. Keeps his wits about him regards alcohol so he can take care of Poe later but eats so much cake he feels sick.

POE - Holds court in the bar, telling long anecdotes about his life that are only 75% true. Dances and flirts with all the aunties and nanas and makes them feel great about themselves. It doesn't convince Ahsoka to give him a spliff, though, because she is immune to his charms.

ROSE - The boomers yell at her for getting the DJ to play 'Celtic Symphony' by the Wolfe Tones, but she calls them hypocrites who are oozing postcolonial shame. Anakin offers to adopt her because now she's the centre of the politics argument. Knocks it out of the park at the sing-song because she knows all the words to at least 20 rebel songs.

MAZ - The first to place her handbag down on the dancefloor so as to coax the other nanas onto the floor. Jovially flirts with every man over 18 and under 60 that isn't her blood relation. Asks Poe to marry her.

REY - Finishes at least three other people's dinners. Sings along very loudly to every song that the band AND the DJ plays. Can't dance at all but it doesn't stop her. Should probably check on Ben because she knows what he's like but decides that tonight he's his family's responsibility. Loses her entire shit when ABBA plays.

BEN - Zero craic, God help the poor craytur. Drinks brandy as an affectation and starts quoting James Joyce after four of them. Gets extremely mopey after brandy number six and ends up having a long heart to heart with his Grandda Ani. Cries then throws up. Auntie 'Soka gives him a joint to settle his tummy. Subsequently feels better and then knocks everyone's socks off singing 'Raglan Road'.

SHMII - Begs off the party at 10pm because she's 97 years old. Still makes sure that everybody takes their hangover down to breakfast the following morning for a Big Feed of rasher-sausage-and-pudding, and maybe hair of the dog if they're desperate.

[pomplalamoose]

Heyyy!!!

whenever u have time if u could PLEASEEE write some more ANH Luke Skywalker hc 😍🥰

pls there is a a serious lack of Luke content 😪🫶🫶

Of course dear anon, here you go🩵🩵

We, as a society, need more Luke content in our lifes and I'm more than happy to deliverrrr

• Tatooine is a pretty shitty place to get to know or to date anyone, so I think the young people have their own way around that

• because you can't go anywhere without potentially running into someone wanting to rob/enslave/blackmail/hurt/kill you, I think spending time with Luke would consist mostly of doing your everyday chores together

• safety is in numbers and companionship makes even the most drab tasks seem bearable

• and nobody will notice if both of you take way longer than usual because you're so busy making googly eyes at each other

• (they do notice but Owen is mostly glad how your company keeps Luke from talking about leaving, so he doesn't mention it)

• so imagine cleaning up and sorting through the garage together

• just sitting by his side, sharing jokes while he works to fix his uncle's equipment or looks after his land speeder

• maybe, if that's your thing, you help out as well and then try your hardest to get the oil stains off your skin after while Luke laughs at your frustrated face

• probably the height of romance is going to the market together to buy ingredients for your meals with two of your fingers intertwined because it's too hot for holding hands and you're both shy

• or taking trips to Tosche station (because of course) and, with a racing heart, you slowly and carefully rest your head on his shoulder

• when he doesn't shake you off you're overjoyed

• he, on the other hand, doesn't dare to say anything, too afraid you're going to scooch away again

• so he drives more slowly than usual to have more time alone with you

• halfway there you have lunch together in the shade of big rocks and talk about everything and nothing, blushing and looking in another direction when one of you makes eye contact for too long

• and, my favorite: watching the two suns set together

• he'll bring you home after because Tatooine is even more dangerous at night

• he says goodbye with a small and polite kiss to your cheek, hoping your family won't see

• he'd notice your nervousness once aboard the Falcon

• while he isn't so sure about all of this himself he wants to seem cool and tough in front of you and does his best to keep up with Han and Chewie

• secretly he might be worried that you will end up liking Han more

• he's totally the type to get a little jealous when he sees you smiling at someone else other than him

• (there's no way Han hasn't outright flirted with you yet)

• so he does his best to keep the two of you separated and as far away from each other as he possible can

• like, no, you can't sit there, he's going to sit next to Han in the cockpit!

• no, you can't go looking for Han, he was just about to ask you a question!

• Han isn't even that funny, why are you laughing??

• he'd sulkily sit in a corner and throw looks in your direction whenever you're with Han too

• if you notice, he'll pretend to not care at all with whom you're having a good time

• but truth to be told, he's sad

• I'm not sure whether he's even aware that he's acting like that

• someone (Obi-Wan) could probably intervene at this point, but there's no way he's going to do that

• he's having the time of his life

• don't worry though, Luke's time to shine comes around when you declare how unbearably cold you are

• did you exaggerate to get his attention? Possibly

• either way it works immediately and he'll offer to sit next to you to keep you warm

• when you agree he's ready to burst with pride

• he waits until Han is looking and then drapes his arm around your figure, feeling absolutely superior

• it takes a lot of restraint to keep himself from grinning obnoxiously

• when Obi-Wan starts teaching him about the Force and lightsaber techniques however, he isn't so self assured anymore

• especially not when he's supposed to ditch or reflect blaster bolts while not being able to see

• underneathe the helmet his cheeks are burning red when he hears your laugh ring out alongside Han's

• he feels decidedly better when you start cheering him on and clapping loudly once he gets the hang of it

• you think he looks adorable when he finally removes the helmet and his hair is slightly sweaty and all over the place

• maybe, if you're feeling bold and the moment is right, you'd like to run your fingers through it under the pretense of tidying him up a bit?

• think of that scene where they hide in the Falcon's secret luggage compartment to make it seem like nobody is on board after being sucked into the Death Star

• because wo do you think you'll get pressed close to while waiting for the Empire's men to leave?

• sadly we never get to see how exactly they all fit in there but imagine half sitting half lying directly on top of Luke

• possibly he's even holding you very close, the situation totally requires it if you ask him

• you can feel his heart beating steadily but fast with how your head has to rest against his chest

• is it because he's afraid you'll get caught or can you dare to hope it's because of you?

• much later you can't take your eyes off him because he looks just a little too good in his new pilot uniform

• at this point it's probably your turn to be a little bit jealous as you are by far not the only one trying to check him out discreetly

• people shout greetings and turn their head after him wherever he goes

• (not just because he spectacularky saved their princess, although that's what you want to believe)

• and, because of the way Luke is, he'll reciprocate the attention happily, unaware of your feelings

• too bad you don't know he'd never chose anyone over you

I'm not quite sure whether you wanted just Luke headcanons or Luke x reader headcanons, hopefully I got it right😅

[gch1995]

Luke should have killed Vader in ROTJ. He should have cut off Vader's hand then said "you betrayed your friends, the Jedi who raised you. You broke Obi-Wan's heart and caused him to live in exile. You killed my sister's family and killed my mother and my aunt and uncle. And now you're going to pay the price, Anakin." And then Luke kills him.

Luke absolutely would have had every right to despise Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker for all the atrocities he committed, enabled, and/or participated in against him, his adoptive guardians, his sister, Obi-Wan, the rest of the Jedi, and many others. I haven’t come across anyone in the Star Wars fandom who genuinely believes that Luke and Leia were in the wrong to have serious issues with their biological father’s atrocious attitudes, behaviors, and crimes. Not even those of us who are Anakin/Vader stans believe that his two children were somehow entitled to just blindly accept and forgiven him for every terrible thing he did to them and many others throughout the galaxy. Of course, they weren’t. Just because Anakin had a tragic backstory, constantly suffered under shitty circumstances of compromised agency under abusive, corrupt, and oppressive authority figures, felt guilt, and eventually felt inspired to at least partially atone for his sins by killing Palpatine to save his son’s life, it doesn’t mean that we think that invalidates all the loss, pain, and suffering he directly caused to both his children and many others throughout the galaxy by victimizing them as Darth VaderIt’s also true that he occasionally committed acts that he knew were wrong of his own volition. He also has occasionally committed crimes against some of his victims out of a personal desire for cathartic release, freedom, protection, and/or vengeance that he wasn’t pressured into doing by corrupt and oppressive authority figures. He occasionally made bad choices that he knew were wrong for himself.

Anakin became a horrendous villain, and, while the compromised agency and shitty circumstances that got him to that point in the first place aren’t his fault, it’s also true that he always retained enough rationality and conscience to know the core difference between right and wrong and feel guilt. Everyone in the fandom agrees that none of Anakin’s many victims were entitled to ever forgive him for his crimes against them throughout the galaxy. We just want it to be understood that it isn’t just his fault alone that he wound up becoming and remaining such a horrible villain.

That being said, committing murder or hurting someone for hatred and revenge vs hurting and killing in self-defense are two different things. While it is true that you are completely in your right to take a stand against abuse, crime, and oppression for freedom and protection, there’s also a line between doing what’s necessary to survive because there’s legitimately no other choice in the moment versus being willing to stoop to that adversary’s same level out of anger, hatred, fear, and revenge. In the prequels, we saw that Anakin went dark and struggled to come back because he fell into the same mindset as those who hurt him and those he loved of “Two wrongs make a right” and “I���ll coldly and indiscriminately commit and enable systematic abuse, crime, and tyranny as necessary ‘for the greater good’ if the authority figures, community, mentors, and politicians in these broken systems I serve tell me to because they don’t offer me much opportunity to feel adequately safe and supported standing up for what’s right within it in battle, anyway, since that would mean taking a risk to trust the other side.”

The feelings of anger, fear, and hatred from constant abuse, oppression, and trauma that never got fully resolved are justifiable on Anakin’s part. Palpatine, Watto, the Tusken Raiders, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Qui-Gonn Jinn, his other elders and mentors in the Jedi Order, and the Republic government he got recruited to serve before he could even have the opportunity to properly understand what he was being signed up for as a child definitely did both enable and/or perpetuate completely acts of systematic abuse, crime, elitism, oppression, and violence against him, his mother, his people, the clones, and their own recruits for their own benefit. Whether their intentions were pure or evil doesn’t matter. They caused a lot of harm and trauma.

It’s the horrendous actions that Anakin becomes willing to take in response to avoid having to deal with confronting those issues bravely, honestly, and honorably that are the problem. It’s not easy for him to do the right things, he has good reason to be angry, and you can make a valid point that many of the crimes he ends up enabling and perpetuating as an adult are things he learned from personal experience as a victim and witness of them from a young age.

Anakin is always at least partially oppressed by a corrupt authority figure. Palpatine pressure him to turn to the dark side by encouraging him to act vengefully to try to avoid and quash those feelings of anger, fear, and hatred that adversaries or potential threats trigger in him, rather than dealing with them. The Jedi he served under weren’t as harsh in their methods and intentions as the Sith. That “greater good” defense mechanism is something Anakin picked up from their teachings to justify doing terrible things out of fear of the unknown and pressure of corrupt authority. Their desire to have control to avoid the dark side and recklessness went into abusive territory multiple times throughout the OT and PT sagas because they became too afraid to actually take the risk to be the heroes for the galaxy they presented themselves as. They usually played the role of heroes in the old Jedi Order when they believed doing so benefitted their dictatorial military superpower organization’s ability to have total control in regards to all force-sensitive individuals and matters in the galaxy, their public reputation, their role as the Republic’s army, and their security. Otherwise, they ignored many of those in need, enabled, perpetuated whatever abuse of power and crime benefitted their “greater good.”

Nonetheless, as an adult Anakin became guilty of wrongdoings when he repeatedly decided to respond to all his anger, fear, and insecurities hypocritically by stooping to the same awful levels as his adversaries did with him and worse throughout his life. Thus, he actually res cycle of systematic abuse, crime, oppression, and vengeance continues with him because he decided to take the easier path of following it.

When Luke was in altercations with Darth Vader where there seemed to be no other way out, he would have been completely in his right to immediately end the duel by swiftly killing his father in self-defense when he had his light saber poised with the threat to kill him. Sure, by the end of ROTJ, we know Anakin’s heart wasn’t really in it to kill Luke for Sidious, if he refused to turn, but he was still threatening to. However, once Luke disarms Darth Vader/Anakin of his mechanical arm and lightsaber, he has the advantage over his father. The self-defense law can only be used when there is absolutely no other way to escape or survive under an adversary or threat in an active altercation. After disarming Vader, the immediacy principle of the self-defense argument is lost for Luke because he’s mitigated the threat of him. It could no longer be the justified as theonly thing he could do to survive because there was no other way to stop him in their altercation when .

What’s more, Luke doesn’t even attempt to kill him out of a sense of duty or protection at all at that point in ROTJ. Luke starts taking a needlessly cruel route by briefly choosing to start beating his disarmed father up with his fists out of feelings of anger and a desire for revenge when he gets the upper hand, which is why Sidious points out “Yes, yes, you’re becoming like him.”

While we’re never obligated to forgive, trust, or take back those who hurt us terribly in relationships, it is also true that most adults who grow up to be enablers and/or perpetrators of abuse, crime, and tyranny against other people had to have the influence(s) to be that way built up from within them over time in relationships with others, which often began throughout their childhoods or very young adulthoods. Hurting people will become increasingly willing to hurt others needlessly, as they have been hurt by others, if they repeatedly decide to deal with their anger, insecurities, and trauma under shitty circumstances and adversity by stooping to the same level as those who hurt them to try to maintain and take control back because it’s easier than taking a risk to do the right thing by being vulnerable.

Luke caught himself before it was too late when Palpatine pointed out he was “becoming like him,” but giving in to an desire for control, revenge, and/or security by stooping to the same level as those who hurt you when faced with the opportunity to do so because it’s easier than actually taking the risk to address those issues and face them bravely, honorably, and openly, is what creates very angry, broken, controlling, dangerous, hateful, and insecure abusers and criminals down the road. They see that it’s such an easy feat to commit acts of “necessary” abuse, crime, and revenge to immediately avoid and shut down anyone or anything that acts as an adversary or potential threat to themselves or those they care about, but they only gain a short-term sense of catharsis in the heat of the moment. In the long-term, though, their anger, depression, hatred, insecurities, and trauma hasn’t actually been resolved at all by their decisions to stoop to their adversaries levels to completely avoid, control, and/or destroy everyone and everything that causes those issues in the moment. Instead, they end up making things worse for others around them, and end up hating themselves more in the long run. Yet, they keep allowing for and doing terrible things that can/could allow them to avoid conflict in the short-term as the years go on because it becomes an addiction that keeps getting enabled by others in Star Wars until Luke comes along. It’s what happened to Anakin in the prequels. It’s what happened to the overall Jedi Order and Republic of the prequels with their increasingly obsessive and unhealthily “greater good” and “us versus them” mentality.

No one in the SW fandom on here has ever blamed Luke and Leia for having serious issues with their biological father’s many atrocities, regardless of his constantly tragic and shitty life circumstances. Aside from the fact that they see he’s Sidious’s attack/guard dog, for the most part, they never even witnessed all the abuse, loneliness, oppression, and trauma he experienced before he fell to the dark side. Even with that, though, the point is not that Luke and Leia are supposed to excuse Anakin for all of his crimes and wrongdoings because he is their biological father who they eventually learn suffered constant tragedy under lifelong shitty circumstances from which safely escaping was always compromised. The point of Luke ultimately choosing to stop angrily and vengefully beating Anakin/Vader to a bloody pulp before he can kill him after he gains the upper hand in their duel in ROTJ is about breaking the generational cycle in his predecessors of enabling and perpetuating rampant “necessary” systematic abuse, oppression, violence, and vengeance without much hesitation at all costs to gain short-term catharsis, peace, and security against any and all conflict or potential conflict, which actually led to greater conflict in the long-term instead because they all became too afraid to actually risk doing the right thing most of the time under pressure with shitty influences and limited to nonexistent healthy support options outside of these broken systems they grew up in and got recruited to serve under pressure until then.

[fireflyfish]

Gather round kiddos! Fishy has a Theory(tm).

Like Obi-Wan Kenobi, I think Bo-Katan suffers from a serious case of retconning. I have a theory that when she was created, she was intended just to be Pre Viszla's lady side kick and NOT Satine's kid sister/pretender to the throne of Mandalor. It was like Lucasfilm made her and said "Look! Now we have an evil LADY Space Domestic Terrorist instead of just your standard White Dude of Indeterminate Age Evil Space Domestic Terrorist. Women can be horrible people too! Progress!" When she's introduced I don't think we even know what her name is. She's just that Rando Lady Death Watch person who is voiced by Katee Sakhoff because someone REALLY liked Starbuck from new BSG. HIRE EDDIE OLMOS YOU COWARDS. HIRE PAPADAMA ALREADY!

Flashback to 1977 and the infamous scene in Ben Kenobi's Hut of Sadness and Sand. The Hut of Sandness. Okay I will see myself out.

At that time Obi-Wan-Wan Kenobi was telling Luke the truth when he said that Vader betrayed and murdered Luke's dad, because Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were two independent people. They didn't become the same man who makes incredibly shitty life choices until later when Uncle George went on a vacation in Mexico*.

Once it became clear that Darth and Anakin were going to be the same people, Obi-Wan Kenobi went from Sad Old Hermit in the Desert Who Was Once an Honorable Knight to Sad Old Hermit in the Desert Who Doesn't Want To Tell Luke His Dad is Space Stalin and Murdered All of Obi-Wan's Friends and Family. This retconning of Obi-Wan's character turns what could be a fairly two-dimensional character into something more complex. Yes, Obi-Wan is fundamentally a good man but one of our first interactions with him becomes radically reframed after we discover that he bent the truth like it was pretzel dough. To be fair, I love Obi-Wan as a clever bastard who uses his silver tongue for Good but that might just be because of how delightfully charming Ewan MacGregor is in the role.

I believe that Bo-Katan is in a similar position. She started out as a random two dimensional evil lady side kick with a cool character design and because Lucasfilm snagged Katee Sackhoff because who wouldn't want Starbuck mugging her way around the GFFA they decided to keep her around as opposed to offing her to add rage to Pre Viszla's Proud Boy/3% fury. Oh boy if you think I don't like Pre in canon, just you wait for what happens to him in T&K. Moving on.

At some point someone realized that as cool as Bo-Katan looks and sounds, she needs something more than "Local Red Head Thinks of Nothing But Murder and Mandalore" going on with her and Lucasfilm had a flash of narrative brilliance.

What if Bo-Katan was actually Satine Kryze's sister?? What if there was something more personal going on here? Imagine the drama and the emotion that could mined from that split! What if they confronted each other?? How amazing would that-

Oh. Oh, okay. You had Maul kill Satine for Obi-Wan's man pain? To show that Obi-Wan could rise above that and be a better man and Jedi than Anakin Skywalker?? NO ONE EVER DOUBTED THAT OBI WAN WAS THE BETTER MAN AND JEDI. THAT WAS NEVER AN ISSUE THAT WAS UP FOR DEBATE. THE ENTIRE POINT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS THAT HE FAILS AT BEING A GOOD MAN AND JEDI. HE IS SUPPOSED TO FALL! I SWEAR TO THE FORCE YOU HAD THIS AMAZING STORY ABOUT THIS PLANET PEOPLE HAVE A HARDON FOR BECAUSE BOBA FETT LOOKED COOL IN HIS FIVE MINUTES OF SCREENTIME BUT NOOOOO! WE HAD TO KILL SATINE SO THAT OBI WAN COULD SHOW US WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW ABOUT HIM!!

((takes a few deep calming breaths)) I'm fine. I'm FINE.

Anyway, once Bo-Katan became Satine's sister, her actions and motivations become much more complex. Before we assume she's supporting Pre because she agrees with his whole "Mandalore should go back to waging war on the galaxy and being badass people in shiny armor and no we don't care who we hurt or kill in the process because murder is COOL."

But now that we know Satine and Bo-Katan are related there's a new layer of intrigue there. Does Bo-Katan buy into Pre's reactionary conservative nonsense or is she there because she thinks this is the best way to take back the throne she thinks should be hers? Is this about doing what's best for Mandalore or doing what's best for Bo-Katan? Lucasfilm no doubt looked at their casting of Katee Sackoff and thought they had accidentally made an even more amazing casting choice than they originally thought. Everything is coming up roses! This is great!

Things stayed fairly consistent, if a little ambivalent in the rest of the Clone Wars and Rebels but then when The Mandalorian comes out, we learn that Din is a part of a "covert" that doesn't remove their helmets. Fine, cool, we can deal with a small off shoot Mandalorian cult that didn't get torched by the Empire because they weren't there and-

I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. What did you say their names were?

The Children of the Watch?

THE SAME DEATH WATCH BO-KATAN WAS A PART OF AND NOW SHE'S CALLING IT A CULT? SHE WAS IN THAT CULT LIKE TWENTY YEARS AGO, DAVE. SHE HELPED PRE VISZLA FOUND THAT CULT! DID YOU FORGET YOU CREATED HER TO BE THERE? AND YOU REFERENCED THE ARMORER'S DESIGN IN THE MANDALORIAN'S SERVING WITH BO IN THE LAST SEASON OF THE CLONE WARS, IMPLICATING THAT BO-KATAN AND OUR LADY OF THE FORGE KNOW EACH OTHER WELL.

((more deep breathing))

Anyway, I can't speak to the changes in characterization in the series itself because it's ongoing and we don't know what's going under Bo-Katan's helmet. For all we know she is rolling her eyes around and biding her time until she can rip that helmet off. Perhaps she's relapsing back into the reactionary conservatism of her youth. Who knows. But I stand by my theory that the twisted and torture narrative arc of Bo-Katan comes down to the fact that when she was created she was never meant to be a part of Clan Kryze.

And maybe that means, she was never really meant to rule Mandalore at all.

Maybe that's someone else's fate...

*-From The Secret History of Star Wars by Michael Kaminski. Vader first reveals himself as Luke's father in a draft version of the script for The Empire Strikes Back in March of 1978.

listen. I want to like bo-katan as the pathetic meow meow she is in the mando s3 era, but the lack of consistency in her narrative drives me insane and I truly cannot be the only one. her characterization swings from one end of the ambivalent-invested spectrum every single episode and like,,,, me too girl but it doesn't feel intended by the show creators and I'm sorry you're so poorly written

[shivanessa]

I'm involved now (more Titanic AU)

Tony stumbled out of the salon into the cold air of the night. 

His uncle's words still rang in his head. The laughter of the other men on the table. His own inability to wipe the grin of their faces. 

'I'm 45 years and he still calls me boy!' he thought bitterly while he made his way between first class passengers, ignoring the indignation he left in his wake. 

It wouldn't have been so tormenting if they had been back in New York, where Tony could leave and occupy himself with his tinkering while his uncle steered the company with Tony's name on it. On this blasted boat he felt caged, captured on this cavernous masterpiece of engineering, the unsinkable crown of his uncles shipping line. 'Starktanic! Even this hellhole of a moving high society event has my name plastered all over it!' 

All he could do to depart at least inside his head was to drink. And suffer. 

'I need some air!' his intoxicated brain ordered and drove him away from the prying eyes of the other travelers. Unsteady steps carried him away from the chatter and the laughter and light, to the darker parts of the ship. No prying eyes. No need to play his role. Safety. 

*

"Don't do it."

Tony turned his head. For the first time he recognized how far he had gone in his attempt to gain solace. Almost his foot lost the grip, his knuckles turning white while he tried to maintain his balance. He was standing on the outer side of the ship's railway, nine decks above the heavy turning propeller. Suddenly the whooshing around him became deafening, the vibrations seeping into his hands. 

"Stay back!" he gasped when the panic kicked in. Panic about what he had been abou to do! For real this time. "Don't come any closer!" 

A hasty look over his shoulder confirmed that the person talking to him was a young man from the third class. How embarrassing to be caught on the brink of suicide by a commoner!

The young man held his hands in a calming way, palms open, showing that he was no threat. "Come on. Just gimme your hand. Imma pull you back over." He gestured invitingly, worry all over his face. 

"No!" Tony gave back and despite the direness of the situation he became a tad indignant. How dared this punk to talk to him like that?! "Stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!" He felt strangely at the young man's mercy, even if he had no leverage over Tony. For once the whole situation was entirely in his hands. So why did he feel so exposed? Raw? 

The stranger's eyes were kind. He was closer now. How had that happened? Tony felt dizzy. The clear cold air did that to a drunken man, apparently. His gaze traveled again to the tempestuous water underneath. In the dark only the white of the dashing foam was visible. Everything else was black, bottomless, dark. The wind blew cold around his ankles. Tony felt his hands go numb from gripping the rail so hard. He didn't want to die. But to go back inside to sit by Obediah's side like a well trained pup was… unbearable! 

The young man leaned on the rail beside him now, but made no attempt to touch him. "No, you won't."

Tony's gaze snapped back to the stranger beside him. For a moment he struggled to understand, since so much was going in in his head. The young man's look was challenging. 

"What do you mean, I won't?!" Tony snapped and straightened his posture as much as possible. "Don't presume to tell what I will and will not do. You don't know me!" 

"Well, you would've done it already." 

Tony scrunched up his face. His drunk brain denied to comprehend the irritating young man beside him. 

"You're distracting me! Go away!" 

But all it got him was a soft shake of the head. "I can't. I'm involved now."

They stared at each other for a couple of moments. Then the irritating young man started to undo his jacket. "You'll let go and imma have to jump after you."

Tony shook his head. Slowly this became tedious. Almost surreal. "Don't be absurd! You'd be killed."

The young man however, started to undo his shoes. "I'm a good swimmer." He let his shoes fall to the deck. "But I tell you the truth, imma lot more concerned about that water being so cold."

Tony looked down into the abyss. He hadn't even considered this. He hadn't considered this line of action at all. 

"How cold?" he asked tentatively. 

"Freezing? Maybe a couple degrees over." Both of them stared into the dark waves now. 

"Water that cold… like down there? Lemme tell you. It hits you like a thousand knifes. Like all over your body."

Tony considered it. The young man was probably right when he took into consideration that the human body was… 

"You can't breathe… you can't think…" the other went on, coloring Tony's physical calculations with feelings. "At least not about anything but the pain."

Tony gulped. 

"That's why I'm not looking forward to jump in after you. But like I said. I'm involved now."

"You're crazy!" Tony turned to the water again. 

The young man smiled. 

"That's what everybody says." he conceded. "But with all due respect, Sir." Their eyes met. "I'm not the one hangin' off the back of a ship here."

*

Somehow the young man had managed to help Tony back to the more or less stable ground on the deck. Stumbling he held onto his savior for a couple of moments while Tony tried to calm his strongly beating heart. 

"Tony? Are you there?!" Obadiah's voice got carried over by the wind. 

Tony looked up and then let go as if he had burned himself on the young man. 

"I'm here…" 

Three men in smokings and one in uniform hurried over. Obediah's face was furious. 

"Tony. What are you doing?" He stopped himself. "And who is your… friend?" His cold gaze met the young man who stood close to him, still in socks and without a jacket. A highly suggestive and inappropriate situation. 

"This is… ah…" 

"My name it Peter. Uhm. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."

Obediah just looked him up and down before he turned to Tony. 

"Come inside. It's cold. You get sick." 

But Tony didn't follow his command for once. "Mr. Parker here saved me." he said and lifted his chin in front of his uncle and his friends. "I… wanted to have a look at the propeller and must have slipped. And Mr. Parker got my hand and pulled me back. He is a hero!" 

"Is that so?" Obadiah's gaze wa still as cold as the water below. "We need to reward him then." He snapped his hand to one of his friends who produced a checkbook. "How about 50 dollars. Would that be enough Mr. Parker?" 

Peter lifted his hands in a dismissive gesture. "Ah, no… I haven't…" 

"No? You want more?" 

"No! I mean. Uhm…" 

Tony stepped in, shielding the young man from his uncle's growing wrath. "How about we invite him for dinner? Show him hospitality at our table? Tomorrow?" 

Obediah's face wasn't exactly happy, but in the face of his friends and the ship officer he nodded. 

Tony turned "Good?" Why was his heart still beating so fast? 

Peter answered with a smile. "Good."

[onlyhopc]

☆★ Forget Mother and Father’s Day, there should be an Uncle’s Day

[lauransoverthinking]

Back to The Wrong Jedi in my rewatch and I still just… ugh. This is awful for everyone. My opinion stays the same, no one was completely in the right or completely in the wrong here, but watching it again, I must offer a rebuttal to all of the people who talk about Ahsoka not offering a defense.

The Jedi never asked her what happened.

She was never given the chance to offer a defense because no one asks. The Jedi asked for her plea, but this is not where you make your case, this is just where you say guilty/not guilty. Were they going to ask her but then Anakin interrupted (because they had already voted)? No one knows.

The closest anyone gets to asking her what happened is Tarkin, who asks her who did do it. That is not the job of the accused. In order to be innocent, you don’t have to find the actual culprit.

The Jedi completely drop the investigation into the bombing after Letta is murdered. Yes, they are trying to find Ahsoka, and yes, there is a war, but that is not the end of the investigation.

Their hands were tied by the senate and Tarkin to expel her, yes, but they could have continued investigating. Have you ever seen the family of people wrongfully convicted? They investigate, they fight. They cooperate with authorities, but they don’t say “oh well, there was nothing I could do”. If the Jedi are found family (I believe they are, but man this arc provides the counterpoint to that) then they would continue the investigation to either ensure the correct decision was being made (sentencing a 17 year old to death) or finding the real answer.

They use her working with Ventress as evidence against her when literally a few months ago, Obi-wan worked with her and Yoda all “unlikely ally” about it (is this shitty writing? I don’t know, but Obi-wan not immediately obliterating that argument is so out of character. The fuck was he thinking?).

What do you think she thought about while she sat alone in her cell, waiting for the inevitable? I think she wondered about her family. Did her finder and her grandmaster and the elders she looked up to and respected not know her well enough to know she would never do this? Or did they just not care enough to try to stop it?

I thought I was part of that order, but everyone except Anakin has abandoned me. I’m not holding out much hope the senate will treat me any better.

Is it any surprise that at the end of it she is too traumatized to look at them? Is it any wonder that when she sees Obi-wan (brother/father/uncle who gave up on her there is literally no arguing this) she is hurt and lashes out?

I’m sorry if this came off anti-Jedi. It is not. They are literally not at fault here (say it with me people - the Jedi are not at fault for the Sith murdering them all in a genocide and they are not at fault for a corrupt system that tried to kill one of their children) but I really think people miss the true tragedy of this arc which is the child who was destroyed. We never see her deal with this trauma (although we get to see pieces of the effects with her later interactions with Obi-wan).

Do not make Ahsoka anti- Jedi. She is one. She wasn’t yet, but the yet implies she knows she will be again.

I did my duty as a citizen

Not as a Jedi?

No. Not yet

Do not make the Jedi anti-Ahsoka. They love her and they miss her. She features prominently in Yoda’s vision. He refers to her as padawan. He is distraught. I haven’t gotten back here in my rewatch, but I found the clip to get the quote right and he is torn up! She dies while he holds her and he is not ok.

Will I still become one with the force when I die? Will I still be a Jedi?

Padawan! Padawan! Ahsoka!

Oh man, this ramble was way longer than intended.

In conclusion:

Ahsoka running (and not using her brain) - bad.

Jedi not investigating or literally asking what happened (or really using their big brains) - bad.

At fault - literally the Sith. Ahsoka is a victim here. The Jedi are victims here. The Sith did it. The guy who corrupted the senate so much that they were totally fine with executing a 17 year old in a trial that took what… 36 hours? This is a major eroding of due process and oh shit I’m getting started again. Time to stop (but compare death penalty cases in our world and this one and suddenly the republic is very “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia”).

[maulusque]

Top 20 Funniest Things about Star Wars, in No Particular Order

1. Darth Maul repeatedly dying and then randomly turning up for absolutely no narrative reason, exclusively to ruin Obi-Wan’s day

2. Hondo Ohnaka in general

        2.a. Bonus: Hondo and Maul competing to be Ezra’s Weird Crime Uncle

3. Dave Filoni being forced to spend 6 7 seasons doing narrative backflips to keep Anakin and Grievous from meeting, because of one throwaway line in ROTS about Grievous being short

4. The B1 Battle Droids in any given moment of the Clone Wars, but especially during the movie

       e.g. those two droids on top of the cliff at Teth, arguing about seeing the approaching clone army and fighting over the binoculars, and one of them just fuckin FALLS of the cliff and the other one goes “get BACK HERE          sergeant”

       also e.g. Rex and like, one other guy, completely surrounded by droids and Rex is like “surrender! we have you outnumbered!” and one of the droids is like “hang on” and actually stARTS COUNTING

5. Grievous bailing hard the moment anything goes remotely wrong 

6. Anakin stabbing a guy in cold blood as the Imperial March plays in the background and then looking all offended at Obi-Wan and going “WHAT? he was gonna blow up the ship!”     

7. Dave Filoni’s incessant need to put wolves in Star Wars

8. the fact that the Mandalorian almost died and earned his clan signet on an errand to fetch brunch for a bunch of jawas

9. Rex’s plan on the Rishi Moon base: “ok so to get into the base currently occupied by droids, i’m going to hold a droid head up to the camera and do my best droid impression and ask them nicely to open the door” and it WORKED

        bonus 9.a: that same episode, Cody’s reaction to Rex shooting one of their brothers (as far as he knew) right in the face was “HECK”

10. Kallus, to Ezra and Kanan: ok you have to knock me out so i don’t get caught as a spy. it has to be convincing.

Ezra: ok *uses the force to fucking YEET kallus through like three panes of glass*

Kanan: EZRA

Ezra: WHAT? that is convincing

Kanan: yeah, but i was gonna do it

11. Kylo Ren stalking into the war room and going “i sense... unease... about my appearance.” and all the generals rushing to compliment his new mask

12. those two stormtroopers in TFA walking around the corner, seeing Kylo Ren having a tantrum and beating up a console with his lightsaber, and just quietly backing away

13. Stormtrooper bonking his head in A New Hope

14. Rex bonking his head on a pipe

15. “It’s ok that we’re here.” “It’s ok that you’re here.” “It’s GREAT that you’re here.” “You’re relieved that we’re here.” “THANK GOODNESS you’re here” “Welcome, guys.”

16. the fact that Palpatine was is still so pissed off about Anakin slam-dunking him down the garbage chute at the end of Return of the Jedi that he had a giant pit built in his Secret Backup Fortress specifically so that he could throw Anakin’s grandson down it thirty years later like that level of PETTINESS

17. Darth Bane was voiced by MARK FUCKING HAMIL

18. Boba Fett dies by blind, confused Han Solo going “BOBA FETT?? WHERE????” and spinning around and accidentally backhanding him into the Sarlacc Pit (of course he’s not really dead shhhhhh fuck you disney)

19. those two scout troopers in episode 8 of the Mandalorian, having captured Baby Yoda and radioing in to try to tell Moff Gideon that they captured the asset like “is he available yet” “yeah, he just killed an officer for interrupting him, so it could be a while.” “ugh ok whatever. Standing by. Still.”

20. the fact that, from Obi-Wan’s point of view, ROTS is just fucking bonkers. Like, he and Anakin rescue the chancellor, everything’s going well, he tells Anakin he’s proud of him, and then he leaves to kill Grievous and just when he succeeds and the war is just about over, Cody tries to shoot him off a cliff and when he makes it back to Coruscant, Anakin is slaughtering a bunch of children and swearing allegiance to a Sith Lord and Obi-Wan has NO IDEA what the FUCK happened there

21. Twilight of the Apprentice from Darth Vader’s point of view: you chase down a bunch of Rebels to a secret Sith Planet. You go to the Temple. Surprise! Your old apprentice is there, along with some random jedi kid. She forces the kid to flee the collapsing temple, and then you proceed to have a big ol’ lightsaber fight but like THIRTY SECONDS LATER, a portal opens up in mid-air, the SAME KID but with a different haircut pops out, grabs your apprentice, and just fuckin vanishes. Poof. Gone. Like, that is just something that happened to Darth Vader one day and it’s just something he had to deal with.

22. JJ Abrams dedicating an entire scene in Rise of Skywalker to calling out Rian Johnson’s shitty Luke-related decisions from TLJ. Rey throwing away the lightsaber and ForceGhost!Luke catching it and going “wow hey maybe treat a Jedi’s weapon with a little more respect RIAN” and “hey Rey don’t do what I did and fuck off to the ass-end of nowhere for twenty years and refuse to do anything useful because that was really stupid and pointless and out of character of me, wasn’t it RIAN”

[darthskys]

Okay we need more release date accurate modern AUs. Or, mostly accurate, since the Original Trilogy is 70s and 80 and we progress from there.

I’m gonna need Chewie and Han on the couch watching 21 Jump Street and arguing over Nixon’s scandal while Luke and Leia groan. I need Uncle Luke with little Ben and Rey wreaking havoc at a 90s Taco Bell. I want faded pictures of Padmé and Anakin at a diner dancing to Little Richard and Elvis with Obi-Wan shaking his head in the background. I want Finn and Poe making plans with Rey on shitty 2000s BlackBerrys. I need these things actually.

[val-aquenta]

An obvious one I know, but what are your thoughts on Obi-Wan?? (Just for the record)

Thank you for enabling me xD I really do love Obi-Wan (perhaps a bit too much...)

How I feel about this character:

He’s the best. My favourite character (sorry Mace and Luminara...) My favourite Jedi. My favourite. I love how calm and collected he is when dealing with issues. I love the fact that he maintains a level head during difficult situations, and is often able to control himself in very emotional situations. (looking at you Anakin.) And even when he does lose control (meeting Maul once more) he is able to recognise it and move past it, something that takes extreme strength. I really love this control as opposed to playing loose all the time with your emotions like Anakin does. He is an emotionally intelligent person despite what some people think, as well as being quite intelligent in general, and he’s just a really sweet person. Obi-Wan is the Force’s personal punching bag, yet even two decades into a lonely exile after his entire family is destroyed by his brother he still is a kind, sweet person, who wants to help and do good. Obi-Wan goes through so much in his life, yet he does not falter in his beliefs and in the Light, and I commend him for that. That kind of dedication is really difficult to have over such a long time, and it is beautiful to see him standing by his beliefs for his life. Aayla Secura once said that “It takes courage to stick to one’s beliefs.” and I think Obi-Wan kind of embodies this idea. 

Okay now that I’m done waxing poetic about him, he’s also such a talented guy. He’s a marksman, negotiator, Master of Soresu, epic actor, and more. Like, he’s the jack of all trades in the galaxy. and he’s so cool while doing this. He looks like your cool uncle. And I kind of love that he is all this, and he’s not related to some prophecy or some great family. That he is simply great. He’s just such a good person, who wants to help as best he can whenever he can, and it’s so nice to see someone simply be nice. Seeing all these mOraLlY gREy characters around because they’re all the rage is honestly bleh. Seeing someone rooted in their beliefs and rooted in trying to help people and following the Light for the sake of following the slight is something which raises him above these morally grey characters (I’m talking about the ones who are essentially really shitty people but are somehow part of the light. Or they constantly flip between sides or are neutral or whatever.) I’m a big Obi-Wan apologist if you couldn’t tell lol

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I don’t... ship anyone with him? I mean, I’m just not into shipping generally. I guess I could see Luminara or Cody with him, but I’m not wholly invested in ships. I like him as a characer without romance, so I don’t tend to ship. Perhaps this is me projecting? Who knows? Not me.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Mace and Obi-Wan have such an interesting and somewhat explored dynamic. I just want more of these two Jedi dads fighting droid butt and looking extremely cool while doing so. In all seriousness, I think the blend of their characters as both being really calm and collected individuals while having strong beliefs is cool. I headcanon Mace kind of became Obi-Wan’s friend/mentor after Qui-Gon died, so they have this dynamic which is not exactly teacher-student as Obi-Wan and Anakin, but is more just Obi-Wan going to Mace for advice and stuff. I mean, I’d think that Masters have a large part in newly knighted people, and without Qui-Gon there, Obi-Wan would need him. But, in tcw and the movies, there is a deep respect on both sides. for the other as well as admiration I think. Mace is a little bit more down to Earth whereas Obi-Wan is more optimistic (cautiously of course) so they do clash, but they can often agree on courses of action. I think they both admire the other’s cqualities like this. Mace finds Obi-Wan’s hope/optimism as an inspiration to not always assume the worst and sometimes be able to think of the best case scenario. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, who has tried to be optimistic often has found himself burned byt eh consequences, so he admires Mace’s realistic approach. Anyways, when Obi-Wan becomes a council member, they do disagree more often, but they can always find common ground between each other in some ways. 

Or really, just Obi-Wan and any Jedi idc anymore which one it is ok. Just more Jedi stuff please :’) Luminara, Depa, Shaak Ti, Kit, Plo, Aayla, heck just give us Jedi content damnit. 

My unpopular opinion about this character:

uhh... I don’t like Obitine, and I honestly don’t think it would have worked out (especially in the Clone Wars era.) Who knows, perhaps when Obi-Wan was younger, it might have worked out, but I don’t think it would have when he was older. Also, I commend him for letting her go, and being able to realise that he would not have been able to both be a Jedi and be in a relationship with her. (hmm looking at you Anakin...) I think it takes great strength to know that what you want is not the best for you always, and it takes a lot of strength to let go of what you want. 

To be fair, I don’t hate it. I’m not invested in shipping generally as I mentioned above, so a lot of this is just me. Lol also Korkie is not Obi-Wan’s kid. If they make him that, I will kill someone. :)

One think I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

Give Obi-Wan his Bantha Herd. That is all. 

Ok, jokes aside, I wish there could have been more episodes/content of him and other Jedi other than Anakin or even Ahsoka. I’m more lenient with Ahsoka because we don’t actually see much interaction between just them without Anakin. I want him and Yoda to have space tea in Yoda’s swamp quarters. I want to see him racing around in speeders with Luminara.( @jedimasterbailey ) Give me him and Mace going over some kind of statement or something.  I want to see him and his Jedi family interacting. I know that they do, Filoni, just show it to us please. :D

[newswcanonprompts]

the skywalker family tree

so, we were all saying that the empire chain of command is just... so, so messy and weird and doesn’t work (because palps never had a plan for if he or vader got killed). convo spiraled. eventually we said that the only reason the empire survived for so long was sheer dumb luck, and that the skywalkers were all dotted across the galaxy and not banded together (yet).

we ended up making a skywalker family tree. there’s 30 of them, which is why the galaxy is such a mess. now, without further ado...

THE SKYWALKER FAMILY, DURING THE TIME OF THE EMPIRE/OT (most of them honorary)

1) Luke- sunshine son living on a farm, not knowing where or who the rest of his family is, doesn’t know what it means to be a skywalker™

2) Anakin- lost most of his limbs in a fire and is now in a medical nightmare, has become a cyborg murder bot

3) Leia- angry rebel princess who also doesn’t know she’s a skywalker™

4) Obi-Wan- sad desert hermit who wants his family back, watching over sunshine son

5) Rex- former captain surviving on a deserted planet with two of his identical brothers

6) Ahsoka- little sister of cyborg being a badass rebel spy

7) Cody- marshal commander who BETTER be okay, but we still don’t really know

8) R2- badass droid working with the rebellion but can’t do much since he’s a DROID

9) 3PO- memory wiped and is literally a protocol droid, can’t really do shit (but means well!)

10) Han- a smuggler who isn’t a skywalker yet but will be soon (def not prepared to marry into this disaster of a family)

11) Shmi- dead grandma/OG family member who’s not a force ghost

12) Padme- dead wife / queen who’s also not a force ghost

13) the Force- the actual Force itself who is not very good at parenting, helicopter parent and deadbeat dad (there is no in-between, it is a good parent but also a shitty one)

14) Qui-Gon- sad desert hermit’s weed dad who bowed out of this bullshit a long time ago, him and his ponytail are chilling in the cosmic force or something, watching his foundling (the cyborg) fuck up the galaxy

15) Feemor- weed dad’s other child who is the only sane member of this family, he’s hiding out on some backwater planet trying to get away from his insane family members (he really shouldn’t take vacations, he left these idiots alone for ten minutes and the galaxy went to shit) 

16) Hondo- chaotic pirate lord who’s *technically* not a part of the fam but is anyway, they adopted him (more like he adopted himself into it, but they still call him one of their own)

17) Ventress- edgy former sith assassin who’s other family got killed so now she’s saddled with these weirdos

18) Satine- former duchess of mandalore who is now dead and not a force ghost (but when she was alive, she was the wine aunt)

19) Maul- other former sith assassin who wants to beat the sad desert hermit, just once, please, let him win something 

20 & 21) Owen and Beru- Tired Desert Aunt and Uncle who just want the best for everyone but Jabba (have kept a skywalker off his bullshit for 19 years, which is much longer than desert hermit’s record of 2 hours- it was so short because the hermit is just as bad as the rest of the family)

22 & 23) Bail and Breha- tired royal parents who are trying to politician the skywalker out of the angry rebel princess (spoiler alert, it doesn’t work)

24) Yoda- troll great grandpa who went kinda crazy and now lives in a swamp and is  waiting for farmboy sunshine son to come so he can get some training as a magical wizard knight

25) Dooku- tired dead royal grandpa who is looking down on his family like “seriously” and has many ghost conversations with his crazy troll dad on the swamp planet

26) Chewbacca- the massive walking carpet that has the most braincells out of anyone, smuggler’s best friend 

27) Xanatos- the weird neighborhood kid who lights your garbage can on fire during family dinners

28) Quinlan- desert hermit’s chaotic brother, has zero braincells and is sounds stoned all the time, is good at tracking people and nothing else

29) Aayla- dead daughter of chaotic stoner, surprisingly graceful and composed but also mischievous, cousin of murder bot (fell in love with former captain’s brother, blyla is real y’all)

30) Jocasta- dead librarian wife of tired dead royal grandpa, is still mad at him for messing up her archives that one time

[d3sertdream3r]

Final Thoughts on Mons(TROS)ity

I’m not even just upset that Ben died. That’s the rotten cherry on top of how every single character in the entire Skywalker Saga was fucked up in this film.

As much as I love Rey, the fight against Palpatine was most certainly Ben’s. This man has been mentally torturing him and manipulating him since he was in the fucking womb. He poisoned his relationships with his family. He convinced him that he had to kill his own father in order to ever be or mean anything. Yet he gets yeeted off a cliff in the final fucking battle. He doesn’t get revenge for all that’s been done to him and the past two generations of his family before him. Not to mention he only holds the legacy saber for all of 3 minutes at most. He doesn’t even set foot on the Millennium Falcon or talk to Uncle Lando and Uncle Chewie. He doesn’t get to hear the real voice of his hero/grandfather. He’s a mentally ill abuse victim that ended up killing himself. That leaves a really shitty taste in my mouth despite the fact that he did it for the girl he loves.

Am I really supposed to believe that Rey being sold into slavery to an extremely abusive guy on a desert wasteland is a good thing??? And what about the message that she made herself who she is and the Force chose her to be powerful because she is strong and compassionate despite how terribly she’s been treated her whole life? That she didn’t get her power from a legacy bloodline, but from herself?? Nope. She’s powerful because she is a Palpatine. And despite surviving in the desert all her life so that she could someday have a family, she ends up all alone in a different desert. Exactly where she began, but now she has trauma and the loss of her soulmate to deal with. Fuck everything.

Why didn’t Leia train Ben herself if Luke had trained her? She gave her son away when he was a kid because she just didn’t have time to deal with her only child while he was struggling with depression and anxiety? His powers reacting to his inner turmoil was just too inconvenient to her career?? Yeah, sure, totally sounds like Leia Skywalker Organa Solo to me.

Finn being a former stormtrooper that’s defected to the resistance is more of an after thought than a real plot line?? This is something we’ve never seen before. We’ve seen desert kids become powerful Jedi. We’ve seen powerful Jedi fall to the dark side and “redeem themselves” through death. We’ve seen Palpatine be defeated and killed before. Finn’s story was fresh and interesting and in the end all he does is make eyes at Rey and provide occasional comic relief.

What the hell is the point of Poe’s story? He doesn’t really have one. He was supposed to die in the first film and it shows because he hasn’t served much purpose at all since the first 10 minutes of TFA besides being attractive and acting like an ass most of the time. So inspiring.

Rose barely exists in this movie. She’s more of a cameo than anything. Her beautifully heartbreaking story about her sister, her kindness in the face of evil and destruction, her strong will and determination to do the right thing, her passion for justice, and her inspiration to a whole new generation of rebels and Jedi are all thrown out the window.

Luke, Han, and Leia all died so that Ben could live and finally feel light and happiness in his life. Well that didn’t work. He died. And why would Rey take the name Skywalker instead of Solo? She was in love with Ben Solo, her personal hero is Han Solo, and her real Jedi master was Leia Organa Solo. The Millennium Falcon is her ship and her best friend is Chewie. But she goes with fucking Skywalker?? Ok.

All the Jedi rushed to the aid of Rey in her moment of need but not a single one of them could be bothered to ever help Ben throughout his entire life despite being the grandson of the Chosen One. No one ever raised so much as a finger when he needed help, not even his grandfather that he loved and admired deeply to the point of following him down the path of his mistakes.

Anakin couldn’t talk to him and convince him to stay good or return to the light, but he gives his power to Rey and tells her to Rise?? A girl he doesn’t know at all??? Obi Wan “BEN” Kenobi couldn’t help and teach the child named after him?? A name that is synonymous with HOPE in SW. What a joke.

The Chosen One means nothing. The Skywalker bloodline means absolutely fucking nothing even though this entire universe was built around them. They aren’t the Balancers of the Force. They aren’t super powerful Force demigods despite having the Force literally woven into their DNA because of how Anakin was born, not just in midi-chlorian form. They’re all dead. The “Rise of Skywalker” indeed. Cruel irony at its finest.

In conclusion, this is how I feel about the movie. Take it away George:

JJ singlehandedly ruined an entire lifetime of lore and storytelling for who the fuck knows or cares why. Rian is the one who truly respected SW and handled the lore beautifully while also introducing new concepts to the franchise.

I will always love Reylo, Star Wars, and the Skywalkers. I hope they get Ben back in canon books or something, but I’ll always be bitter about the awful way every single fucking character in the Skywalker Saga has been so completely disrespected.

This fandom is wonderful and very inspiring and I can’t wait to see what gorgeous art and fanfics y’all come up with. I’m truly so grateful to be part of something so much bigger than myself; something JJ Abrams will never understand.

[ttlurking]

Since I keep joking about most my kins having daddy issues

Shall i test it out?

Tom Riddle - ✅ Hard yes. Mans k worded his dad and grandparents for abandoning him.

Michael Afton - ✅ ABSOLUTELY. Honestly, with a dad like William how do you NOT.

Five Hargreaves - ✅ the entire family has them tho so he's not that special.

Starscream - 🚫 There's no father figure to have issues with. But if he was human and had a father he'd probably have them ngl

C!Wilbur Soot - ✅ not like- extremely there like most characters on this list but he asked his father to k word him so some issues must be there.

Obi-wan Kenobi - ✅ Qui-gon and all the shitty things he put Obi through ESPECIALLY ABANDONMENT OF A MINOR ON A PLANET AT WAR

Ben Tennyson - 🚫 he has very slight daddy issues, but not enough to make it on this list. His father is the one with the real daddy issues.

Frank Morrison - ✅ MANS WAS IN FOSTER CARE AND DEF DIDN'T LIKE HIS FOSTER PARENT YEAH HE GOT DADDY ISSUES

Jason Todd - ✅ Another walking definition of daddy issues. Him and Michael 🤝🏻

Harry Potter - 🚫 mhhh this one's complex- I'd say no because he idolises the idea of his dad and his aunt and uncle never really stepped in as parental figures. I suppose Sirius and Albus came the closest, and he def had some issues with Albus but I wouldn't say he has daddy issues.

Goro Akechi - ✅ *WHEEZE* his entire character revolves around daddy issues.

Edward Nygma - ✅ yup his dad was an abusive ass and his obsessive need to prove his intelligence comes from that abuse, deffo daddy issues.

C!Quackity - 🚫 not as far as we know but idk he gives me daddy issues energy.

8/13 I guess I have a kin type

@bolithesenate u happy?

[letitrainathousandflames-archive]

They literally threw these characters out there and did nothing to flesh them out, huh?

What do we even know about Rey, besides that (1) she grew alone abandoned by ~somebody ~ and had to fend for herself (2) she likes machines/ships/piloting and (3) she is kind-hearted.

Like, that’s literally it!!! We know nothing!!! About this supposed MAIN CHARACTER of the new trilogy.

And Finn?? (1) was forced into the first order (2) can pilot well (3) is scared and cowardly at first after escaping but overcomes it for his friends

Where the HELL did he come from? Does he miss his family?? Was he kidnapped or forced to enlist?? He is skilled with a lightsaber, is he force sensitive??

Poe!!! (1) started working for the resistance at a young age, son of rebel pilots (2) oops sorry actually scrap that he was a spice runner (3) loves piloting and his round droid

And??? If true, why was he running spice?? Was he facing hardships? Maybe working as an undercover courier? Where did he get bb-8? How did he become so important in the resistance that ppl would give him the FUCKING MAP TO LUKE SKYWALKER?

Kylo aka “could have been an interesting villain instead of xxEmoBoi666xx”

(1) turned to the dark side bc one day uncle Luke gave him a big scary uwu (2) worked for big baddie snoke (3) was a big deal in the empire 2.0 aka first order (4) “knights of Ren” (4) had darth Vader’s scorched mask

WHY would he turn?? If it was a matter of finding one inconvenience, Anakin would’ve turned the day his mom died in his arms + he slaughtered man women and children! Maybe he was feeling torn by the Jedi code (understandable), maybe he was being called to the dark side by snoke?? A little more background pls???

How the FUCK did he find snoke?? How the FUCK an organized military with enough firepower to FUCK SHIT UP like it does pops out of the blue and starts terrorizing the galaxy?? Why hype these “knights of Ren” so much and not having them show in action?? HOW DID HE GET VADER’S MASK?? Did snoke train him on the dark side or was he just a very shitty pseudo sith??

THESE CHARACTERS ARE SO FLAT AND THIS WAS A FUCKING DI$NEY PRODUCTION!!! GEORGE LUCAS HAD WAY CRAPPIER EFFECTS AND A MUCH MORE MODEST BUDGET AND STILL GAVE US THE “DID YOU KNOW MY FATHER?” SCENE WHERE OBI-WAN PAINTS IN A FEW WORDS THE PERFECT PICTURE OF WHO HE USED TO BE, HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ANAKIN, THE ERA IN WHICH THEY LIVED AND ITS CONTRAST WITH THE CURRENT TIMES!

SORRY THIS GOT TOO LONG IM JUST FURIOUS

[restingdomface]

MDZS lightsaber colours for my crossover AU

Lan Wangji: pure white handle and clear crystal for a blindingly bright fire stick. Light holder indeed. We. Do. Not. Ask. Where. The. Handle. Has. Been.

Lan Xichen: They shade a twin crystal in this AU so his is the same blade, but his handle is baby blue with pretty silver inlay. The last time he actually used the thing for anything other that sparing (before the clone wars starts cause he got sent to Coruscant to help protect the kiddos, so that thing did get used on a few clankers) was for cutting down a tree that was gonna fall over and into Jingyi’s window when lightning hit it in the middle of the night. The fact that he didn’t grow up in the Jedi temple makes all the Jedi masters wonder why he has the twin to LWJ’s saber...

Wei Wuxian: Black handle, red blade. He got a wild side eye from the Jedi masters from that back when him and LWJ were in the temple, and he still thinks it had something to do with why they refused to knight him, but he knew they never would anyways, so he shrugged and moved onto his own path anyways. The crystal is shockingly well maintained for something that’s over a thousand years old. Through most of the clone wars he’s actually not on the front lines. He’s tending to the zombie clones and creating new weapons at their encampment. He uses LSZ to heat metals instead of a furnace cause fire magic is more useful than a stupidly hot tent that he’s probably just gonna blow up anyways. He misses his hubby and plays really bad trap music through the camp loudspeakers that both annoys Dooku and also blows up clankers if they get too close. He tried to rehabilitate him and Ventress once. It worked for Ventress but Dooku tried to get in his head and WWX got annoyed and punched him before leaving him to General Kenobi to deal with. He won’t stop arguing with Qui-Gon’s force ghost about how to cook soup (can you hear Kenobi crying in the background cauee both their cooking is poison and everyones shitting to death instead of dying in the war lol) and helps Obi-Wan see him earlier than in canon.

Lan Jingyi: baby blue blade, shares a twin crystal with A-Yuan. They found it on a camping trip with WWX when they were like five. Handle is white with a baby blue band around the top. His main weapon tho, is just crying at the enemy until they get uncomfortable. One time Hondo Okana kidnapped him and he wouldn’t stop pestering him so he actually tried to sell him back to WWX who was all ‘no thanks, youre his father now, take responsibility’ and now Hondo is actually on their side cause he’s finally met someone more annoying than him.

Lan Sizhui: same as Jingyi, but his handle is white and red, since he was nostalgic when he chose it and he misses uncle Ning, but A-Die says he’s still mentally connected to WN and they’re on their way from Earth but Earth has shitty intergalactic travel rn so it takes like 150 years to get to them. WN’s probably gonna do that nearly-crying thing that zombies do when they get emotional when he sees the saber. Except, he doesn’t use it very much since he found that flame thrower... when the clones first saw him with the flame thrower they nearly shit themselves. Someone gave him a jet pack and now they’re trying to steal him from the weird cultivator clan. I mean. Wens are sorta fireproof imo so it’s okay.

Jin Ling: gold on gold babey, but with a red band around the top. But he doesn’t really use it much cause JiuJiu gave him a bowcaster and so he’s. Like. Scary. Armed child. Did you know he’s like 153 in this AU???? But he looks like a 15 year old???? When the clones saw him with a bowcaster they nearly had heart attacks wtf. Plz child youll shoot your eye out.

Ouyang Zizhen: Red and blue!!! The handle is red lol. The clones are thankful some of these babies have normal weapons but that sentiment is short lived after they watched him yeet his weapon (unlit too) at the enemy and then cry for twenty minutes. One of the medics has adopted him and is teaching him how to do field work so they don’t have to Deal With That Again.

Jiang Cheng: Listen. He showed up after WWX and the kids got kidnapped. And he’s got. An electric whip. And just fucking whipped through pure durasteel to get them out of their cages. And then stopped to throw a bitch fit that WWX actually brought the kids to this (‘They’re over 150 years old JC!’ ‘Do they look like adults to you? How many times a week does one of them ask you for a bedtime story?’ ‘...listen I didn’t LET them come here, they’re stowaways, no one’s letting them stay they’re just. There.’) and the clones that got kidnapped with them are all ‘omfg do we have to listen to their family bullshit...’ and it’s beautiful. Hot uncle with a whip and one of these clones is all ‘I would climb that but he’s shorter than me’

Lan Qiren: He IS a weapon and his effect is to make children behave. They sent him to the main Jedi temple to teach their kids some manners. The kids love him to death till they encounter punishment in the form of doing handstands while copying the Jedi code over and over. Those lucky little shits don’t even have to suffer through using a traditional calligraphy brush to copy 5000 Lan sect rules why they complaining omfg. They gonna get strong.

Jiang Yanli: poison soup. She’s really good at fucking up cargo shipments to send the sith contaminated ingredients and making them too sick to do anything. Also her saber is pink and purple. The blade is pink, the handle is purple.

Jin Zixuan: goooooooold but the blade is actually green. He also has a bowcaster but it’s an antique and he doesn’t really use it in battle.

Meng Yao: they’ve all unanimously agreed that he isn’t allowed weapons anymore. He just whines really loud for DaGe and a giant man comes out of the shadows to either scare you into running away or beat your ass. It took them like four lifetimes to get back to being their dumb gay married selves, but now they’re clingy as WangXian and MY just has to pout to get what he wants. It’s really horrible. TBH no one knows what they’re doing during the clone wars, they just show up sometimes and help out/cause trouble and everyone is all ‘oh. Okay.’ But they Always have Huaisang with them and he always stands there looking pretty and untouchable and glaring at anyone who looks at his DaGe wrong. If someone tries to hurt MY tho he’s unlikely to help lol.

Nie Huaisang: Fan and gossip and also looking at you like you’re the scum he stepped in on the way here and also you’d beg him to step on you and spank you with that fan and Jesus Christ there is a line of clones willing to ask him to do exactly that-

Nie Mingjue: THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIGHTSABER ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN IN THEIR LIVES HOW THE FUCK DID-