#OUGH! WHATS GOING ON RN
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these flowers in the attic lifetime movies are absolutely wild did they even read the books i’m gonna cry
#i’ve only seen the first weird remake a few years ago#i’m just now watching these i avoided bc i heard how bad they are#BUT THIS IS SO BAD IM LOSING ITTT#the 80’s adaptation was good at least but i haven’t seen that i#a while#OUGH! WHATS GOING ON RN#flowers in the attic#vc andrews
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A BLAST FROM OUR PAST - modern javierlamb !
#lamb.talks#my moodboards#self ship#javierlamb#i want to go to those big dances im forgetting what theyvare called rn but i want to go to them with him and have him wear a white hat ough#dancing to norteñas with him 😞😞😞😞
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experiencing fhjy while currently being in the equivalent of junior year is so. Yeah that's what it's like that's how school treats you that's how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW. I love how perfectly accurate it is and I also hate it so much because they don't deserve to go through this shit
#like fuck man#im currently fucking struggling through school clawing my way to exams so i can stop dealing with all this bullshit and have a life#and i cannot WAIT until its over cause next years gonna be the chillest#but fuckin hell man some of these moments#adaine struggling cause the school just won't provide the resources she needs. fabian dealing with a 150% workload + ecs.#kristen being genuinely gifted but finding the paperwork so awful that her grades are plummeting.#gorgug being told he cant do what he wants to do because they want to keep him focusing on the path he chose when he was 14.#riz trying to keep his friends together because if they separate he doesnt know what hed do#ough#kristen especially is resonating with me HARD her entire energy is so fucking relatable rn#its giving burnout its giving tired undiagnosed teenager its giving doesnt know wtf theyre doing#shes strongly considering dropping out but then looking back and going FUUUCK I KNOW I GOTTA JUST PUSH THROUGH#shes hating the work its making enjoying the subject harder shes needing a break and nobodys willing to give her one#shes so me this year actually. realest ever I'll defend her til i DIE#d20#fhjy
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Ok tell us about imposter au bc 👀👀👀
OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE.
Okay so. without looking through my old stuff for it. What can I remember off the top of my head.... there were clones, I know that, and the clone the story focused on, #424, mainly had an arc about realizing he's not Cole but Cole's clone and then having an existential crisis + becoming his own person.
And then I think the OG Cole destroyed the facility making the clones and then fucked off to be a hermit in the woods because.... OH YEAH he found a BABY in the rubble and needed to protect it! I can't recall if the baby was a clone of all the ninja or just some of them.... I think they were called Coffee though?
Man, some of my old AUs really were just. Whatever concepts I wanted. And I was so real for that kind of self-indulgence actually. I need to be sillier with it tbh
#ask zaz#ninja-go-to-therapy#imposter au (OLD)#but also... the need to refine my aus a bit to have a cleaner story.... ough augh#also just. idk if i realized it before or not but rn i am realizing so many silly jokes i can make out of#424 being a clone and knowing it while the other ninja don't. he is sweating bullets over here at what he imagines they might do to him#if they found out#when tbh i think the ninja wouldn't be like. as antagonistic once they realize that oh‚ yeah‚ it's not like 424 could have ASKED to be made#+ 424 isn't actively antagonistic to the ninja bc he's got all of cole's memories and most of cole's personality (for now)#so he loves them like cole does (for now)#meanwhile. coffee#boy oh boy what was i even plannign with you#what was even your purpose beyond giving cole a baby to fuss over??#like yeah dad cole peak but like#hmmmm maybe something about how coffee didn't ask to be born either/themes of the circumstances of one's birth vs what they do with the#gift of life‚ mewtwo style#either way i gotta reunite cole with the ninja eventually#and 424's gotta figure out who they are and what they wanna do with their life#so like. not a bad start story-wise#certainly very exciting
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any afab people debating between top surgery and breast reduction? Does anyone have thoughts?
#i know it comes down to the individual but i would just like to know what other people would like#im very torn up#it's not like I'm going to be able to have either for years probably but I'm just thinking#feeling things rn and stuff#ough this is hard#also pls don'ttt assume anything about my gender identity rn thank yuou ✌️
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Love being invited to something and being the ONLY person who shows up
#steel text#im going to explod3#this bingo is the only thing keeping me sane rn#srry for venting its just. What. Huh??? Yeah Okayyyyy#the me from 4 years ago would have started crying but still big ough
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also i forget that me using my phone to draw is like. not a common thing that happens at all
#every time i mention it someone usually gets like SHOCKED#GOBSMACKED#and it's like ough thank u?? i didn't think it was that special but ig with it being a much smaller screen even with me having a stylus#it can be very difficult to draw#also it do be dogshit for my posture lmao#rose rambles#also i am so sorry for being so talkative rn idk what's happening but just go with it ig lmao#ig it just crossed my mind bc if i use my laptop and drawing tablet#i think there will be a. STARK quality difference
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rereading my fics is like a constant cycle of being like "teehee that was funny. oh god that line was cringe. hehe that was funny. wait why did i say that 😑. hehe. wait i forgot about that part. hang on didnt i plan to write xyz into this why did i never get to that. teehee that was funny-"
#anyway im rereading the latest chapter i had for the kalim thing to refresh my mind kfsdjfklsd i gotta revisit my notes#which are. within this sketchbook sojfdlksjf idk why i wrote them in there instead of just in a doc lololol#but god yea i forgot a lot already that happened in the latest chapter bc theres was some stuff i think i hd to add/figure out#as i was writing it outside of the chapter planning lolol#not a lot but enough that i was like HMM. fjdsklfjdskl good thing it is right here for my own. memory.#there are alos a lot of spacing errors and a typo so im editing them rn =_=#ive had a general outline for how the whole thing would go / roughly a few things i might want for the last few chapters#but ough i really am in the no man's land rn this latter part is less planned than the first part LOL#so uh. we'll see how it goes. but it's ok if it sucks it's my first multi chapter fic im not counting on perfection!!!#either way i will do my best. to make it enjoyable i hope sdlkjfklsdjf#ppl in the comments: wow im interested to see how this turns out#me shaking kalim by the shoulders: me too. whats going on. sdjklfjsdkfljsklfjsdkl
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New human Vox design kekekmdjbjbjbdjhbjhb
#gay?#yes#i love him#ough#what#what is going on with my art rn#hazbin hotel vox#humanized#hazbin vox
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Me because some of my favorite SAMS creators have the most incorrect opinions (I hate the characters they’re defending):
#like guys I’m sorry I just fucking hate them#I do not care if they had reasons for what they did they still did bad stuff 🙏#specifically nexus#eclipse is chill idrc#but#fuck it I’m going to make fun of Nexus for being edgy because he is knowingly being a terrible person#eclipse rn should totally be genuinely helped since he’s not really the eclipse that did all that shit#like omg please give him therapy he needs it#love him and Earths friendship#but I fucking hate when people try to explain his actions away#‘he felt guilty when he killed lunar’#ok skill issue fucking move on#/j btw#but yeah sorta too late to feel bad now#the best thing to do it to be better#(which he’s trying to do)#but other than that#fucking move ONNN#it’s in the past omg#‘it was traumatic!!’#fair#but guys#what if#we just#idk#treat him properly within the show?????#listen Edd is affecting me#I still dislike Eclipse but OUGH puppet EUGH#eclipse is a jerk but puppet makes him worse#ok I need to shut up
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Crying I was going to try to sketch Bee's ref today but idk if i will O-(-(
#🤖.txt#I dont remember getting my ass kicked this hard when i got my last glasses but also dont. remember most things so JDJDJDH#I dont know What Else to do rn besides drawing tho. I was looking foward to this the whole week#I could like. play a game or something but that would also require me to look at my monitor and go OUGH. MY EYES#so im just gonna keep drawingjdhd
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goodnight dude. rest easy, alright? thinking of you <3
-sam
Bwehhhhhhh sobs sobs...
#Wolf answers#Anonymous#IM. Laying in bed rn no body yell at me for being awake I'm notttt I'm just pointing and going 'AUGH OUGH 💜'#My cat just squeaked what. By JOVE
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happy pills? 👀
:D
oh this one is a very fun concept to me!!! bc the BSD brainrot is. obnoxiously strong right now. i was listening to "Happy Pills" by The Weathers and instead of thinking about Andrew like normal, i started thinking about Dazai :'))) and then i was also thinking about Andrew and then things ESCALATED
but the current idea is to play with Andrew's meds and how they cause him to act but with,,, Dazai. in some form of AU. and just having this idea of like...... Dazai and Chuuya were childhood friends, but Chuuya moved away at some point and when he moves back it's after Dazai is put on the meds. and he's like,,,, the only person who knows how Dazai is without his meds and is thus the person MOST put-off by his current drugged behavior while everyone else just kinda sees it as Normal Dazai bc that's all they've ever known him as
and just this like,,,, idea of a scene after Dazai comes off the medicine where everyone just kind of starts to distance themselves from him bc okay he was weird on the pills but now he's UUUHHHHH and they really aren't sure how to deal with it. but then there's Chuuya who isn't afraid of him because, again, he knew him pre-meds anyway and yeah, the damage from the meds fucked him up more but Chuuya can deal with that. so he's the only one who just stays entirely by Dazai's side.
idk i just think it would be very fun concept to play around with <3
[ WIP name game ]
#i love exploring andrew's meds in aftg fics and apparently the brainrot in both fandoms collided so now i want to explore them#with characters OTHER than andrew and thats#ehheheheheh#i also have an idea already of whats going to get dazai put on the meds#as well as a few other specifics#but i only had this idea like 2 or 3 days ago so it's suuuuper fresh rn#but also just. the juxaposition!!!#between dazai and andrew!!!!!#the fact that andrew hates liars and will be brutally honest without caring about how it would affect others#vs dazai who is a NOTORIOUS liar who almost never says anything true unless he thinks it will benefit him#and just poking at how the drugs would affect dazai comparatively#ough#so many thoughts <3#askers#cozy-fish-crow#ask game#tag game#shh ac#wip: happy pills#bsd
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I see a fictional businessman and fold soooooo fast
#i downloaded mystic messenger today bc the otome game i usually play EATS STORAGE#and lord knows i have noooooo storage on this phone of mine#my friend recommended mystic messenger to me yeaaars ago (8th grade) and she said i'd like it#i never forgot!!!!!!!#so today i was like “i have two options. either i delete everything or i download a different game”#and so. well. i'm trying to do both rn LMFAO#but i ended up downloading mystic messenger first#the otome game that i've been playing on and off for YEARS is mr love queen's choice for those curious#i've been playing it since.... i think ninth grade#but anyways there's like. a businessman in mystic messenger and i just.#i always fold for them it's starting to become a problem#like. this is now the third one. what is the common thread here.#i'm worried for mystic messenger btw bc APPARENTLY i'm supposed to be keeping up with like all these chats or smn#AND MY PHONE WOULDN'T PLAY THE TUTORIAL VIDEO AT THE BEGINNING SO IDK WHAT THE MECHANICS ARE#SOMETIMES HEARTS FLY ACROSS MY SCREEN CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN PLS#can i tag this as mystic messenger and hope someone sees...#i'm being so fr i wish i could find the video online but i don't think i've seen it anywhereeeee ough i just wanna know why there's hearts#the game is keeping track of how many hearts i have what are they supposed to do </3#i can't imagine playing mystic messenger in middle school bc howwww do you keep up w/ all the chats?? i'd go crazy#originally i made this post to talk about my boys. but now i don't really feel like it LMFAO but if anybody has played mm please help
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so.. i accidentally touched a trash can which made me feel like my hand was burning so i went to go and wash it and in the process i nicked the faucet with my fingernail and i got like dirt(?) under it. which. terrifying???? anyway i started hyperventilating and my hand started burning again but worse and i was trying to figure out what to do bc i was in the bathroom of all unsafe places to be, so i like ran out to the hallway and my hands are covered in soap and water which feels unsafe enough as is, and everything is just dangerous and i feel like someone's wedged something under my fingernail and tried to pry it off me and i'm trying so hard not to scream again bc i don't want to freak my mom out and i'm still hyperventilating bc there's this unknown thing on me. so anyway. it took a bit to get it together enough to like. go back and wash my hands again. and now i'm like. completely exhausted. aaaaand i still feel like i can't breathe like an hour later :') i had lovely plans to go out this evening and maybe walk and watch the sunset but now i feel like death! point being. fuck ocd :)
#boink#vent#ocd#i think i might've had a panic attack?#idk#i don't really have those very often or very severely#but that might be the worst like contamination ocd event i can really recall#which is good ig#but still not so nice seeing as i'm supposed to be better after going to therapy and i am most definitely not#normally it's just like a general veneer of complication and anxiety on top of everything#but this was like#this was terrifying#i'm still kind of rattled ://#maybe i'm being overdramatic#i don't know :(#i'm super ticcy now too lol#unsurprising ig#and ofc i'm not actively panicking anymore#but still nothing really feels safe rn#my coffee cup smells like ice which is scary and my clothes were in the cabinet and maybe even on the floor so god knows what's on them#i'm glad i took a shower earlier today already or else i wouldn't hardly be able to move at all#i had to use some fertilizer in the garden and ofc it got on me bc gardening is messy so i already had to shower after that#unless i wanted to be stressed all day and contaminate my clothes and my bed and any food i wanted to make#not ideal#ough#it's just so fucking tiring isn't it#god it's exhausting#and what makes it worse is that i can't even deal with it on my own when everyone's around#and when everyone's around there's so much more chance that things are unsafe#it's been so much worse at home
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head in my hands. well. no more accordion for me. i picked my beloved up off the ground to do some practice and accidentally banged her off the piano keyboard and now theres a constant bass C droning but the button isnt stuck so it's something internal that's gotten bonked out of wack. and unfortunately accordions apparently need experts to even just do a simple tuning, so I'm certain this isn't going to be fixable for me unless i can both find someone who knows accordions AND be able to afford the fix, both of which are incredibly unlikely. so ... no more accordion :[
#i feel numb fjkfdl i dont think i can quite process this#it was One simple mistake. and now it is just ... done#i dont feel so good scoob fjfkfl#im going to just go lie down i think. ough. i wish i could just apologize to the accordion (i did already fjfkdkl) and have her be okay#this is so stupid goddamn one bonk and everything is over what the fuck thats so unfair#im so careful w her too god fuck me !!!!! im so so so careful with her and then ONE honest mistake !!! argh !!!#i feel so petulant being upset abt this. ofc bonking an instrument off of another hard surface is going to fuck it up#and ofc i didnt mean to. but like. yknow? idk. it just is so unfair i guess but its done its over it is what it is#i dont want to think abt this rn actually fjfdhdkl i cannot quite grasp this all properly rn#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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