#OK i'll be normal now i feel SO normal about this

[igglemouse]

My day starts with my paper delivery job. Oh, yes, I guess I never mentioned that I do have a new job? Just something to supplement my jewelry thing as a little extra income never hurts and the job is easy enough. Drop papers at doorsteps and move on, that's it!

When I do make it home I find a surprising little bowl of stew sitting right on my counter. This must be the work of Niklas, who else would randomly do me a kindness like this? My only question is, did he make it with magic or cook it by hand?

And hey, whether it was made with a dash of magic or pure culinary skill it was pretty good all the same! Seriously, what doesn't he do? Maybe he's just showing off at this point.

In the middle of my meal Niklas strolls out of my restroom, as if he lives here, mind you, and asks if I'm enjoying the food. Honestly, yes, I am. Okay, alright, it's about a 6 out of 10 but it gets 2 bonus points simply because I didn't make it.

"So did you sprinkle a bit of magic in it?" I can't help but ask, it's a harmless question, but I imagine if I could make my dishes better with magic, I would.

"No? I mean I guess I could but-"

"Could you make the perfect meal with a touch of magic?"

"I guess you could? Never tried it though," he admits and from the look on his i can tell he's never really thought about it. He really doesn't like using his magic, huh?

"You really don't like using your watcher given abilities, do you?" I can't help but shake my head as he's made that very clear. It's a little frustrating. Having so much power at the tips of your fingertips and denying it all.

"Honestly, Grace, the whole bit is overrated."

"You keep saying that and yet just last night you waved your hands around and poof, clean tub. Just that alone is amazing."

But he's not convinced, he's shaking his head as if I don't get it at all and takes a deep breath before continuing. "The Realm and all it deals with is not only overrated but dangerous. The regular person lives a nice and safe calm life while we? Well, we could be called upon to face horrors you could never imagine."

"Well..." I falter behind his gaze just a bit because who wouldn't when facing unimaginable horrors? "I umm, yeah, I guess it's that whole great power great responsibility thing then."

"It's exactly like that."

"Alright then...but still, I don't see anything wrong with a little sprinkle of magic to make a pasta just a pinch better."

"I could try, mess up, and accidentally poison your food and you'd be in the hospital right now instead of just eating an average bowl of soup."

Ok, I guess I get his point.

So the man wants the normal life. I can't blame him for that. It sounds like he wants to just move to Henford and live out the rest of his days there or something, I don't know. Again, I can't blame him for that but personally...I'd like to be able to do something magical. I guess it is true, you always want what you can't have, unlesssss you want to soak in milk I guess and relax. You can absolutely have that.

Magic or no magic I am handling my bills pretty well. Thankfully, this place isn't too pricey so I can manage. It always feels good to have things under control financially.

Especially when I can sell a piece of jewelry for 1k. It's not a fortune in the grand scheme of things but it's enough to cover rent and still have simoleons left over. A little breathing room helps!

Hopefully this little ring will sell!

With the rain pouring down outside I can only decide to settle at my computer for the evening and dive into video games. There really isn't much else to do in my little place especially with Niklas off doing whatever he does. So it should be a quiet and peaceful night. Just me, the rain, and my laptop.

At least that was the plan but it looks like I'll be having a late night visitor.

Standing at my doorstep in the middle of a storm is none other than Lilja, the vampire I met earlier in the spring. Our first meeting was strange and now I can't help but wonder what brings her here on this rainy night. It's hard to tell from her expression as it is completely neutral and her eyes, cold and seemingly lifeless, stare right through me.

"So, may I?"

"Come in, you mean?" I ask, stupidly. Of course she needs an invitation. She's a vampire. "Y-yes, I guess so."

"Thank you."

"So, you're not going to like abuse my invitation, are you?"

Lilja chuckles softly at my question, amused in that delicate way of hers. "No, if I wanted to take you then you would have been taken," she says with precision. Perhaps she's right. I have been a little casual with my night time activities but she has made it clear that she's not out to harm me.

"So, then," I take a steady breath and gather my courage. "What brings you here? Despite the fact that I don't remember giving you my address or anything." But I'm sure she's been stalking me. Vampires are natural born stalkers, I might not know much about them but I do know that.

"Did you know that there was a ward put up around your house?" she asks that question with a tilt to her head, as if she is testing me.

"What? Yeah, a magician friend put one up, I'm not sure why-"

"Friend huh?" She gives me a knowing look. Does she know about Niklas? "It was a very weak ward but it did tingle just a little bit, it seems your wards are...weakening."

"Yeah, he's..." I trail off but then stop myself. Why am I explaining this? "Are you stalking me?"

"Watching you, did you forget our deal?"

"I..." guess I have. "Can you remind me again?"

"The blood magic," she says, watching me, her eyes intent and focused upon my expressions. "Do you remember?" and so it comes back to me, the deal, the offer of her maker willing to teach me blood magic. It felt theoretical at the time but now it feels much more concrete.

"I-, yes, I do remember now. Is it difficult to learn?"

"No, just costly."

"Costly? May I ask why you're willing to do this? What is in it for you and your umm...maker?"

"Everything," the weight of that word brings silence and for a moment I'm not sure what else to say. "The Realm have hunted our kind to near extinction and only the help of a blood witch can save us now."

"Oh," so am I the chosen one? "You can't just find someone else?"

"It is in your blood, your mother-"

"Yes, yes, she was a blood witch, I know."

"I am inviting you back to the castle," she says, and I'm reminded me that she had warned me against coming back because her maker might attack me again and she sees that concern and memory in my eyes. "He rests still, he is still weak. He needs...blood."

"Umm, yeah, sure, since you are inviting me I guess, does Saturday work."

"Yes, sounds perfect."

I'm not sure what the time is but I am getting a little uncomfortable with her here. "Umm, now, it's getting kind of late for me so if you don't mind..."

Episode List - Next Episode 3.4

[panpanghost]

Part 6 of this,

Macaque kept his eyes on Wukong as he flew away. When he couldn't see him anymore, loneliness took over his heart.

He just left, Why do I miss him already? Daaaamn *sigh* I'm so pathetic. No time to think like that. Macaque slapped his face with both hands.

The kid is still out there. If only I could use my glamour and talk to him. Come on Macaque, think! There should be a way to talk to him without having to show myself.

Macaque flopped on the bed.

But... Wukong truts him. He left my life in his hands. Maybe I could trust him too. He was with me and Wukong in the room when I woke up. But then I still had my glamour on, I lost most of my magic when I tried to open a portal to get to the kitchen. The more I tried to use my powers the more I lost them. I can't believe how much I've fallen. I need to get better soon, I can't keep being a burden to Wukong. If only I can remember what this crown is, I can break the spell, but most of my memories are gone!

Macaque grabbed a pillow and put it on his face to muffle the scream he was about to let out _"AAAAAGGGHHH!!!! THIS IS FRUSTRATING!"

Macaque let out an angry growl then got up and paced in the room, here and there, thinking of a plan to suck the information dry from that kid.

I only need one spell to work, one to cover my ears, it's ok if the scars stay, I'll just cover them with some clothes, not my eye though...

Something pinched Macaque's heart as he traced his eye. Whatever happened that day, even with no memories, he knows it hurt him deeply. He shook his head and pushed these thoughts back. If it were something important, Wukong would've told him.

Maybe I can cast a strong spell and keep feeding the crown until I've finished with the kid. It'll hurt though... so damn much... Even if I lose my memories again, Wukong will take care of me. I hate the way he treats me like some delicate flower but I hate feeling like a lost idiot even more. I have a lot of information in my brain, hopefully I'll lose some unimportant ones.

This is my only choice.

Macaque stood in the middle of the room. He took a few deep breaths preparing himself for the pain to come. He will regret this, He knows.

One spell later and he could feel needles through his entire body, he wanted to scream but held it in and breathed the pain out as much as he could. On the other hand, one look at the mirror showed him that his plan worked, he just needs to make it for a few minutes without falling or showing he's about to pass out. Easy....

A few steps to the door made him reconsider, it was too much to handle, he must stop-

*Knock knock knock* the knock startled Macaque, he was too focused on the pain to hear anything around him.

_"Macaque are you in there?" the kid spoke to him from behind the door, "I don't mean to bother you but I got some extra noodles for you. It's a get well gift from the gang and me."

Gang? What gang? It doesn't matter. He's here. An opportunity I can't miss.

Macaque opened the door feeling cuts through his body with every move. Just a few more minutes...

_"Oh Macaque!" the kid spoke, his eyes big and full of delight, all because he saw Macaque, it somehow hit a soft spot in Macaque's heart,

"I was worried you wouldn't want to see me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude but I was really worried because I haven't seen you in weeks and whenever I ask Monkey King he'd say you're busy or something and I started to think that you hate me now and don't want to see me because I let you down and..."

This kid needs therapy.

_"Easy kiddo." Macaque said, trying to sound normal, it's like shards of broken glass in his face and throat. But he can handle it, he'll feel worse if he kept being useless to Wukong. "I was just upset that's all."

_"Really?" the kid looked at him like a puppy in the rain. Why does he look so much like Wukong?!

_"Of course. You've done nothing wrong." Macaque spoke trying his best to hold on, this kid is a chatty one, a golden goose for information.

_"Thanks.." The kid said, looking a little relieved, "Uhh... Can I come in?" he asked, hints of anxiety on his face even with the smile.

_"Sure." Macaque stepped away from the door, holding his breath, holding the sounds of pain, then let out a long exhale,

_"You seem down." The kid said, putting the bags on the table then turning to face Macaque, eying him with worry.

_"This whole thing is tiring me." Macaque said with a little reassuring smile,

_"Yeh.. ok..." the kid looked down, then sat on the bed before he spoke again, "Umm... Thank you."

_"Hm?" What for?

_"You know... For staying, even though you and monkey king aren't on good terms." the kid still couldn't hold his gaze up to Macaque, he just looked to his side,

_"Good terms?" I'm not on good terms with Wukong? Why?

_"OK. Fine. You hate each other. But still... I'm happy you accepted our help. I was so worried you'd dissappear the second you got better."

We hate each other? I left before? When? Why?

_"Well, I hit a dead end at one point, the sooner this is over, the better it is." Macaque shrugged then headed to the noodles, he can hold on just a little longer,

_"Are you- Are you leaving once we solve this?"

_"..." What is he talking about?

_"Can't you stay? I mean is it really that bad to be around us?"

_"I'll think about it once this thing is off." I don't know either kid,

_"You're staying!" the kid literally glowed,

_"I didn't say that. I said I'll think about it when we get to it." Macaque said turning to face the kid,

_"I'll take that as a maybe." he smiled at him that mischievous smile,

_"*sigh* So?"

_"Hm?"

_"Did you find anything useful?" Macaque could feel his heartbeat grow faster, he's runnig out of time,

_"Oh! We found out its name but we still can't tell what it's for. Monkey king said he'd look into it, so we're waiting for him."

_"What's its name?" Hurry up kid!

_"Monkey king didn't tell you? It's the corrupted king's crown, but the info we found about it-" The kid stopped as he saw Macaque's face fill with terror, "Macaque?"

_"The corrupted king's crown..." Macaque muttered before the pain got 10× worse, the crown isn't just taking his magic anymore, it's trying to kill him,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he yelled and fell to his knees holding his head, trying desperately to get the crown off,

_"Macaque!" the kid yelled and ran to him,

_"KID LISTEN! AGH! They want- They want to put- *pant pant* egh- someone- else's soul in my body-"

_"Who?!" MK doesn't understand anything, what's happening to Macaque?!

_"The- The king has guards- AAAAAAAAAGH!"

_"I'll get Monkey King!" The kid stood up, looking around for help or where to start,

_"DON'T. AAAAAGH! DON'T-" Macaque couldn't say another word before he passed out.

The room fell silent. MK stood there for a second not knowing what to do. He needs help, Macaque is in worse shape than he thought, what should he do? Who should he call? Should he just wait for Macaque to wake up? What should he do?

(I know it took too long and it's not that good but I tried my best ok? T^T. I still don't like it though but I'm glad it ended.

And yes, still no title, I don't know where this is going so I can't come up with a name.)

[vse-kar-vem]

KRIS SHARED THE DRESS UP GAME ON HIS IG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

NO BECAUSE IM STILL REELING 😨😭 NOT THE DIRECT VIDEO OF MY TWEET HES DEF SEEN THE DRESSES IN THE GIF NOW AHHH 🥹🥹🥹🥹

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

[fisheito]

hello... please consider... yakumo in:

the classic traditional style qipaos

the modernised and modified ones

bonus: modified hanfu

he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?

ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[m-a-r-i--c-h-a-t]

maybe it's lust cat noir! can't you just let a girl have her kink?!

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I need the 12 year old Rangi with her mother lore dropped like yesterday FC Yee. Don't leave me hanging. TT0TT

[averlym]

,,, little lemmings in line...

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Dog has a swollen lymph node. Just one for now. Which means her cancer is getting worse already. The longer this goes on, the more detached I feel from reality.

[zorkaya-moved]

" it's not about trusting , it's about ... "

and there's a hesitation the way he draws his words , attempts to piece them together so they would make sense as the architect's arms find themselves at home around the waist he has held so many times before , felt up and embraced in moments he'd deem himself useless and weak. tender are the kisses kave places against the top of bright, cold locks, fingers tracing the front of zarina's stomach and heavy is the heart sinking within the chest pressing against her back as kaveh seeks comfort in the closest person he has come to a sanctuary; "... guilt."

for it is about guilt, the kind that festers and allows itself to brew away within a weary heart that wishes nothing but to part with a past lived and completed. it is not with a light heart he tucks away the most broken pieces of his story from zarina, covers up the stains of a ghost whose presence have lingered a little too long for everyone's taste, her name a burden to the son who simply wished to aid and to ensure her pride.

how can he find it in him to speak ill of the one who --- and he sinks further into the locks of his love, arms tightening as they remain within her house, zarina's frame locked within the architect's embrace; "... you say you'd love every part of me, and i believe it, but..."

it's hard for one who has loved hard unconditionally as long as kaveh.

"... how," and there's a tint of genuine disbelief in how he words himself, face seeking the comfort of zarina's neck, wounded as kaveh tends to her body as a shelter, "how can you say that? every promise, every confessiong of your love, i believe them and i believe them with all my heart, yet... there will always be a part of me asking how and why, why do you waste your love on me ? i have nothing to offer you, except my time, my heart, myself; is that really enough for someone as grand as you ?"

could he, truly, ever be enough for anyone?

he had always been too much for faranak.

hollow marron sinks close, the architect breathing into thick hair. "the harder i love, the further people slip away from me; i'm scared that you'll see just what you deserve, what you need, and that i'm not in either category... which, in truth... would be okay, as i've been taught that i don't amount for much, that i don't have the right to claim someone's time, and yet..."

a small breath.

"with you..." a kiss is placed upon her shoulder; "--- with you i find myself yearning to claim all of you, all the time, every day and as much as i want, zarina."

@avaere

Understanding of emotions is essential to her gains, to reaching her goals, and to manipulation of them like puppet strings. However, true understanding and empathy do not require any malicious desires behind them. Tender emotions and genuine understanding of another requires another skillset Sokolova knows herself not to possess to the perfect conditions, it’s not a sharp blade because it mustn’t be a blade - it must be a shield. A shield to protect those who she cares about, loves, and wishes to keep safe. It’s why these discussions almost make her feel desperate in an attempt to figure out, to understand, to support without any malice. Cynicism is on the tip of her tongue, bitterness of the world forever etched into her skin like invisible scars. 

It doesn’t feel good to study him. It doesn’t feel good to try and pick apart each and every thread of his mind. She can, she could have figured out everything on her own with pulling strings and using more underhanded tactics but she didn’t. Out of her love and respect for the architect, she tried countless times to repress said skills and to try and willingly avoid her gaze to give space. After all, analysis of others and her observations will be invasive and she always found pleasure in breaking apart walls others built around themselves to expose their core. Sokolova cannot allow herself to do the same with Kaveh, she couldn’t. It would mean her love and trust in him are not true, but those feelings are true and she did everything to secure the privacy Kaveh deserved. As much as she wished to understand the reason behind his distance, behind his sad smiles, behind his tension, behind his maroon eyes that would gloss over certain topics. 

Like their conversation prior. Her back faced him as she would cross her arms under her chest, tense from sadness over not understanding but also worry. Worry for him, worry for his well-being, worry for his emotional state, worry for what she could not help with and did not know where to offer a gentle touch and where to be stricter. If there was anything she ever wished for as much as her brothers’ happiness and safety, it was Kaveh’s happiness and safety. There are only three people in Teyvat she’d ever - without hesitation - give everything. Well, not like Victor needed anything from her anymore and Aleksey is now growing up to be independent. Those reasons are the biggest driving point for her to prioritize Kaveh and their relationship, slowly stepping away from black markets and cruelty to have more time to bask in the presence of her Sun. 

The Sun that finally shows new colors, opening up about his inner mind works. She hears him and she almost wishes she could look at his face, but Zarina stops herself. This atmosphere feels too fragile, too fleeting and maybe it’s better if she does not look him in the eyes to let him speak. Finally, to let him share and open up.

Guilt. 

The word will forever be memorized by the listener as she immediately relaxes when Kaveh approaches, wrapping his hands around her and brings her closer. It means safety, it means comfort, it means he seeks her out and it puts her at peace. She does not dare to interrupt him, listening attentively to each whisper, each soft confession, each change in his tone. If she cannot see his eyes, his voice will be what she pays sharp attention to. But each word spoken makes her heart clench and it hurts, it hurts like never before. She has never cared about others outside of her family, and Kaveh became one of the most important people to her. Her Sun is capable, is strong, is kind, but also is hiding so much pain within him that makes her wish to keep him protected from the world. But she cannot, the damage has been done already and Sokolova can only listen to understand everything, to hope to understand how to make his future just a bit better, just a bit brighter, just a bit safer. 

Guilt, the poison of mind just like envy and jealousy. Guilt, the corrosion of self-esteem and destroyer of peace. Who has led him to this view of himself? Who has harmed him so deeply that those old wounds continue to bleed and remind him of that disgusting emotion? Guilt is a weapon against one-self, guilt is a weapon and a weapon will always harm. 

It must be hard to speak those words out. Kaveh may not see her expressions, but her eyebrows are furrowed and her lips are pressed together in concern. Her silence may be present but only to let the architect talk without interruptions. It feels too fragile, she doesn’t wish for his sense of safety to speak about his hardships to be broken away. They’ve encouraged each other to feel safe in each other’s company, to feel comfortable, to share. They will learn, with time, how to open up more. But right now, these words from Kaveh are priceless and will never be forgotten. 

The bravery it takes to speak out about such innermost vulnerabilities… 

To show she cares and listens (and encourages him to continue), Sokolova places her hand atop of his as he continues to speak. There is no need to say anything out loud, not yet, not when he is confessing what he has on his heart, the heavy burden that must have never been lifted. He is no Atlas, he must never carry such a heavy load on his shoulders alone, not forever. Preferably, not ever. 

She cannot hold back a soft gasp at the hint of disbelief in his ‘how’. Another question returns: Just how badly was he hurt by someone he cared about in the past? To have so little love for himself when he gives out so much to her, to others, to the world? The world takes it and takes it, but never seems to return it to the architect. Who dared to make him doubt how wonderful, gentle, special and warm he is? All the questions circle in her mind, her hold on his hand tightens just a bit but relaxes immediately. His mind will continue to tell him he doesn’t deserve this, she deducts and closes her eyes, hiding away the pained gleam in them. Pained for him, for his broken pieces he finally shows and she finds herself only loving him more instead. 

He does not see himself worthy of happiness. He does not believe he deserves the comfort, safety and love he has now. That’s how his words sound and someone has made him believe in all of that. A human heart is known to her, she knows what strings to pull to make it come undone or break it into billions of pieces. Someone has done this to him and it seems that person remains alive and well. They live as he suffers, but the golden eyes - upon their opening - have a gleam of sharpness to them, a desire to find and hunt down the one who has casted such doubts upon him. She is aware, by now, who that person might be but what matters now is the current, the present. The one who keeps her close, hugging her and seemingly finding solace in her presence. 

Her soul responds to his words, to the broken images her mind creates in order to make the full picture. How lonely he must’ve been. How hurt he must’ve been. How denied he must’ve been to feel this way when he holds her close, when she tells him he’s all she needs, when they smile at each other and spend night or day together. Is this what love can bring? An emotion so strong that brings more others to itself, she’s never felt so strongly before. Her aching heart yearns to comfort him, to hold him close, to let him know he’s everything and more. More than this world deserves. 

If the world cannot handle it, she’d gladly turn it all around for him. But… Kaveh is a kind soul, too kind for his own good. 

That’s why her fingers caress his arms that are wrapped around her waist. She can feel his heart beating on her back, their closeness is evident and always present. His touch is warm and his voice is all she concentrates on to not allow even the smallest detail to escape her. It must be painful to expose yourself and your vulnerabilities, it’s something she can understand, going through the same when she confessed her own mindset and concerns. But this? It feels deeper, heavier. Because Kaveh cares. He cares and he loves so much. 

Who made him believe that doing anything for him is wasteful? How dare they make him believe he was a waste at all?

It’s hard to stay silent when he tells she’d stop loving him when she finds ‘what she needs’. 

“Kaveh,” her voice is raspy but also broken when she says his name, a soft whisper that encompasses the feeling of shattering. It hurts to hear him view himself in such a manner. Is this why he would distance himself? Is this why he didn’t want to say and open up? Is this why he had such a hard time claiming each other’s love in public? She remembers how she would tell him about her confidence in speaking of how he was hers, but prior she believed he might’ve been shy (finding it rather cute) but now the pieces are connected and her heart almost drops. 

There is no pity in her gaze that reflected pain and worry, there’s only a desire to love and embrace him, to simply be there for him to prove whoever made him believe these lies wrong over and over again. 

And yet, she must remain quiet for a bit longer. 

" with you i find myself yearning to claim all of you, all the time, every day and as much as i want, zarina."

Is it supposed to make her cry? Because she feels tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She never cries, she never allows herself to cry in front of others, and she never showcases such a weak sight of herself before others. Not her brothers, not her team, not even Kaveh. Ah, she did cry in front of him once, didn’t she? That’s not the point. The point is that his words and his honesty becomes everything she could’ve ever asked from him. The world cannot weigh the same as his words to her here and now, becoming the most essential wish of hers to understand him and to know just a bit what he feels. This is trust, no matter how painful and tough it is, but it is truth and trust. It is vulnerability and it is bravery. He’s so strong, her pride and love for him soar so high into the skies above Celestia. 

But right now, she swallows and breathes in. No tears must be shed, not now. 

“Thank you.” For telling me everything. For being honest. For doing this when it was so hard. 

It must’ve been so hard… 

“It must’ve been…” She finally speaks out, willing the tears and the emotions away. He makes her feel, makes her human, makes her experience all of this for the first time in her life. He made the worst person in Teyvat fall for him, wishing to be better with him and for him. Just a bit. Just a tiny bit. “It must’ve been so hard to say.”

Her free hand rises to let her fingers run through his blonde locks before sliding lower to let her fingertips caress his cheek. She may not see his expression, but she wishes to show him through touch how much love there will always be there for him, and him alone. This sweetness, this softness, this adoration and this love will only ever belong to him. 

“I cannot erase the feeling of guilt or make the voices go away,” she begins, wishing to give him her answer without going on a tangent. “But I will stay, I will be here by your side until you wish for that to stop. I will stay to always answer your how and why. How can I love you so much? Because you are yourself. Why do I keep loving you? Because every day you make my dream a reality, a dream I’ve tucked away as a child,” a small smile appears on her face as she leans back against him just a bit. “I will prove teachings of the past to be wrong over and over again. Be it minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.” 

“My love is never wasted, it is an emotion of mine that nurtures and blossoms only because of you,” her poetic words may not truly be understood at this moment, but it feels right to say. “The more you give me, the more it blooms. The more you give me, the bigger the garden of my adoration grows,” she can only hope she can give them the flowers back as a showcase of her eternal love for him, eternal wish to be in his heart. Oh how she wishes for him to claim her, to wish for everything she is to be his and his alone. Someday, perhaps, someday he can loudly and confidently say it. “You offer me everything no one else have offered me before. I believed I’ve had everything I ever wished for: money, authority, knowledge, but it all felt… hollow. But you? You’ve made that hollowness disappear. You made the cold go away.”

He makes her heart beat instead of standing still, metaphorically speaking. 

“I, too, worry that my love for you will be too much for you sometimes,” she decides to say, her smile turning smaller and slightly pained. “I worry I’ll drown you in it and you’ll find me suffocating,” she lets out a strained chuckle, it feels shameful to admit how she is worried about her own love being too much. Even if she understands it’s out of her wish to not ‘drown’ him maliciously by accident. “And I love you so because I can see that you are everything I ever wished for, ever since I was a little girl in the snowy mountains of Snezhnaya. Everything I need, everything I want, everything and more, so much more than I could've ever wished for. I’ll never stop craving your love, your presence, you saying my name. I'm getting too greedy, too needy for you.”

The harder he loved, the further people slipped away from him? How lucky she is because she is addicted to his love, in love with his love and in love with him. His love is what keeps her garden of emotions alive, what keeps her as a human alive, and what will keep her as a human alive. If it’ll all disappear, she’ll wilt as cold and frigidness would return, erasing everything that makes her feel like a human again. It’ll return to the bitterness, the void, the hunger. The harder he'll love her, the stronger her response will be to embrace him, to kiss him, to love him, to wish for him to claim everything she is for himself.

“If you are worried, you can always ask me. If you are concerned, you can confide in me. If you feel you are too much, you can ask it out loud and my answer will always be the same: you are never too much. You are you, simply and wonderfully you. The one I want, the one I love.” Everything she needs, wants, dreams and more. So much more. “And every day, I’ll remind you that my time, my heart, my everything can be claimed by you. You may not feel right to claim right now, but I’ll always remind you that all I offer you belongs rightfully to you. Because you are you, and I only want you by my side, and I wish only to be by your side.”

Even if it takes years, she will not stop the little reminders, the softer whispers, the gentler touches and the loving gazes. Every how and why will be answered in a loving manner, with hands held and even kisses shared. And, hopefully, one day he’ll 

“I love you, Kaveh. Thank you for opening up about your feelings.”

It only makes her love him more and makes her wish to love him more. Would it be alright to hold back less in loving him? Would it be alright to be even more affectionate and adoring? Would it let him know he, too, can love her stronger? Time will tell, but it’s them who can make a difference. By talking, by opening up, by speaking out loud, by sharing.

[little-eye-guy]

i'm just so worn out.

[bangcakes]

.

[volfoss]

Every book I get closer to becoming the joker

[seaofreverie]

Anyway.... Back to what I was pondering earlier today... It's been 4 months but I'm still as deeply obsessed with Exotic Creatures of the Deep as at the very start

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls