#all the money i have is going towards her. i have enough body fat to survive without eating properly for a while.

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Dog has a swollen lymph node. Just one for now. Which means her cancer is getting worse already. The longer this goes on, the more detached I feel from reality.

[igotanidea]

five more minutes: Dick Grayson x fem!reader

I'm (not) sorry, but that smug face fits right into this fanfiction!!

request/summary: Dick getting clingy when the reader needs to go somewhere

A/N: so, I think I'm back? Two weeks break and I'm getting into the swing of things again, so please go easy on me with this story......

***

When she wakes up in the morning something seems off almost instantly.

It only takes a second to realise that said thing took the form of Dick Grayson, her beloved boyfriend, the man by day and the fearless vigilante by night. The protector of Gotham and its people.

Well, if only the people could see him now.

Sleeping in a weird position with the imprint of the pillow on his cheek, messy hair and some dried saliva in the corner of his mouth.

He so cute and adorable like that. Y/N does the quick scan of his face and body in the search for any injuries he might have obtained during the patrol but her heart rests easy when she noticed him being all in one piece with no blood or stiches. Either it was a quiet and peaceful night or he already took care of himself. Her bets are the latter, but since it’s work day she doesn’t really have any time to wait until he wakes up to blame him for not being careful.

As quiet and swift as she can, Y/N tries to move out of bed, but since Dick’s senses are heightened she doesn’t really get far, when his arms wraps around her, keeping her in place.

“Dick……” she mutters

“Mhmmmm……” he mumbles into the pillow

“Come on, I have get  up!”

“no you don’t.”

“I gotta get to work!”

“I’m the only work you need……” he grins, still half-asleep, but so full of himself and she almost rolls her eyes at the joke

“God, please stop…. I need to earn money you know? Not all of us have a billionaire daddy!”

“You’re dating the billionaire oldest son, isn’t that enough?”

She wonders for a moment. On a second thought maybe it is. Dick seems to use that heartbeat of hesitation, shifting his body weight on her, pinning her to bed, his eyes still closed, but this little shit knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Dick!” she gasps feeling all those muscles crush her “shit!

“I like it when you call my name in such a desperate words. Do it just one more time and the neighbours will hate you forever.” He chuckles and his makes her skin tingle.

You’re heavy…..” she squirms trying to break free, but it’s no use. “You brought it on yourself….” The girl mutters poking on his ribs in the place where he’s extremely sensitive because of an old injury.

“Hey!” he yells, trying to defend himself and letting go off her in the process.

Y/N is quick to jump out of bed and rush towards her wardrobe, grabbing her jeans and t-shirt and struggling to put them on.

“Not so fast!” Dick tears her clothes from her hands and holds them high out of reach.

“Not fair Grayson!”

“You called me fat.”

“I called you heavy!’

“Same thing!”

“It’s not….. You know what, fine. I’ll just wear something else….” She shrugs and runs towards the drawer, but before she could reach it Dick grabs her from behind and holds her tight to him

“Dick…….” She whines stretching out just to grab something to wear. Anything.

“I know. I’m irresistible.”

“A pain in the ass is what you are!”

“I can make you breakfast….” He tempts

“You’re not Jason, Dick. Making me breakfast means putting cereals In the bowl and poring some milk over it in your dictionary. Cold milk. And that is only if I bought both cereals and milk.”

“did you?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Can’t you see how hard I’m trying? Just for you. Come on, you are like an employee  of the month. Or even a year. Stay…..” he kisses her neck playfully “you can call in sick.”

“I used all my sick days because of you.”

“How about casual leave?”

“and what may be the emergency?” she sighs in defeat, her body going limp as she drops the fighting knowing well enough she won’t win it. “Clingy boyfriend?”

“You called me boyfriend!” he grins again and she facepalms herself.

“We’ve been together for a year Dick. Why do you seem surprised?”

“I could never get bored with hearing that word from you. Makes me proud that you’re mine.”

“trying to sweet talk me? Won’t work. By the way, you are soooooo cheesy Grayson.”

“And?” he asks

“ And? What and?”  at this point Y/N is confused, her eyebrows furrowing as she turns to meet his gaze

“And you love me?” he insist, spinning her around in his arms so that he can get easy access to her kissable face.

“Yeah…..” she smiles dreamily “yeah, I do love you, you idiot” she trails with a love sick puppy expression. But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stay and be you babysi…..ah! Put me down!” she yells suddenly feeling her body lift of the ground without her knowledge or will. “Put me down Grayson! What are you……?! Damn it…!”

Dick does not listen or does not get impressed by her poor attempts to break free. He’s Nightwing. He’s got so many ways to immobilise the opponent. Or, in this case, lover.

“Dick I swear I am going to kick your ass if you don’t….!” the threat dies on her lips as he throws her onto the mattress and kisses her softly shutting her up in the process.

“Stay?” he pouts looking at her with those pretty doe eyes “Pretty please?”

“You act like a five year old!”

“A five year old that wants you. A five year old that misses you…”

“I’ll be back, you know……” she brush the strand of hair from his face. She’s already gone but still tries to keep the appearances.

“Yeah, at 6 p.m. or later. It’s almost the time when I get ready for my night shift…… Please…..”he whines nuzzling his nose over her neck “stay…..”

“please…..” she mimics his whining, caressing his cheek “let me go……”

“But I need you…….” He hide his face in her belly and his hair tickle

“Why do you always need me when I am supposed to go to work?’

“It’s a terrible and uncontrollable disease…..” he laughs

“Is there a cure?” she laughs back

“I can think of something….” He closes the gap between them, nibbling on her bottom lip. “and it may be working…. But I;m not sure. Need some more testing” he repeats his action. “Mhm, yes, it’s definitely working… You don’t want me to be sick, do you?”

“Not really. You are whiny and attention seeker when you are sick.”

“I am not!” he shouts in denial “ok, maybe I am. A little. But come on, you can stay some more time with me……”

“How long, dickie?” she smiles at him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“five more minutes?”

“ok. Five more minutes. She sighs deeply, letting go of any of her objections, letting Dick lay beside her and act like a big spoon, while holding her tight to his chest and caressing her sides and belly.

“You’re not letting me go, are you?” she whispers closing her eyes and getting lost in his touch.

“Never.”

And she’s pretty sure she can live with that.  

[hai7ani]

I'm dying to know will and how the loser virgin rindou x single mother will get together. Also will there be a drama with her ex-husband, like him seeing her one day and start rage shouting so Rindou comes to the rescue or something of that sort? Or is everything there settled?

I don't think it's fully settled. He was becoming abusive to her 一 too mean, too harsh, too demanding. There's still so much unresolved issues between the two that reader thought it was better to leave than to talk it out with him. He wouldn't listen anyway 一 he never listens. He's the kind of person who once flew an unopened beer bottle halfway across the room for something petty and she had to pick glass shards out of her son's knees and get him back into the shower for the third time that day because he got drenched in beer from head to toe 一 he hadn't seen him crouching in the corner five minutes ago hiding from his father's rage.

Have you ever met a baby who knew how to hide from a parent before knowing how to even properly write?

But the first time you learn that loser virgin!Rindou isn't exactly who you think he is, is when he throws the first punch at your ex for trying to hit you in public.

He cups the side of his jaw as he takes it in, chipped front tooth covered in thick, red blood and he tries to stand. His body is dumb and wobbly from the sudden impact to his head, but he still manages to get back on his feet somehow. He thinks that the punch had taken about three years off his lifetime.

He wonders just who this guy is.

"This bitch tried to run away with my son." He points at you, laughing in disbelief. "You think Tokyo is so damn huge, huh? You're in Shibuya of all places. Fucking cunt."

There's ringing in his ears, blood dripping down his nose. He still ignores it and tries moving towards your son in the Family Mart next door who is sitting together with Yuzuha eating vanilla ice cream. Such a poor boy 一 he has fat tears pooling in his eyes that look so much like yours. His father fucking hates it, but he still wants his kid back anyway.

"Fuck off." Rindou shoves a forceful hand into his chest that sends him stumbling back a little. "She's been running away from you, dickface. Leave before I call the cops." He's been trying to play nice this whole time 一 that punch was merely just a little treat.

He scoffs 一 airy and enlightened 一 and he peeks behind him to stare at you.

"So I guess this is what a whore looks like, yeah? One guy wasn't enough for you, just had to go seduce another one," he pauses to look at Rindou, taking him in, judging him from head to toe一

"He has money to pay for your shit?"

To pay for your kid's shit一

"A house for you to stay comfortably in?"

A madhouse to raise your fucking child in一

"That's the problem with you, sweetheart. You only want what you want. And now you've got a guy who looks like he wants to kill me for一"

You don't stop Rindou this time round either.

collection

[lilac-5ky]

Hiya! Can you do one when y/n is bratting off to toji while grocery shopping at 3am(they're alone)🤩😍

A/N: Funnily enough I was sent this while grocery shopping myself. Also, I'm aware that another writer also did a request like this recently, but who am I to say no? However, I'll raise you this: Bratty!Reader dragging Toji to the store at 3am with the goal of having fun 'cause he's been neglecting her.

Tags: public sex gone wrong, unprotected sex, implied car sex, age gap (toji 30's, reader 20's), spanking, bratty reader, soft!dom toji, light degradation, daddy kink, piv, standing sex, name calling (slut, whore), nicknames (baby,sweetheart, kid, etc.), lowkey sugar daddy vibes from toji, talk of masturbation, our man being pussy drunk, theft!?!

Word Count: 3.9k

“Ya seriously gonna wear that?” Your boyfriend’s eyebrow quirks at the sight of you plopping down on the passenger’s seat, the sharp green eye it framed cautiously studying the naked parts of your body; dressing rather than undressing you whole.

“Already am! Why—‘s there something wrong with my clothes?” You bat your eyes sweetly.

This was all part of a bigger plan that was set in motion the second you interrupted his sleep and dragged him out of bed to rev up the car for your nightly excursion to the 24/7 grocery store. Your pink terry-cloth shorts and loose-fitting crop top that barely stretch over your thighs and belly button, respectively—those are your props for the final fact, and you, the star of the show.

“You’re wearing makeup.” Toji accuses as if that’s the root of all evil, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His nose scrunches up. “And perfume.”

“Really?” You feign ignorance with a candied smile. “Must’ve forgotten to take it off. Oopsie.”

“Forgot…sure.” His fingers are still in your hair when he nods, his hand sliding down your neck as he leans closer.

Toji isn’t an idiot. He sees it in the way your pink tongue darts outside your lips a bit too often, wearing off the two layers of gloss you’d carefully applied while he was waiting for you to fetch your precious coupons. He notices how your thighs rub together, your little pussy silently protesting for his neglecting it all night long. And when your cheek willingly tilts into the warmth of his large palm, he knows neither radishes nor toilet paper are what’s in your mind right now.

“My baby doin’ all this for my attention?” His thumb pads across your skin, swiping below you defined eyelash line. “Acting pouty cause I didn’t take care of her needs?”

You find it hard to resist when his other hand dives between your thighs, sidetracking from your own devious plot. He sounds earnest in his efforts, his lips curling into an an apologetic smile they sear on yours. You almost moan from that.

You can’t remember the last time he’d kissed you, even when that was a few days ago, at worst. What you do remember is the reason why you’re doing all this, and you refuse to return it. You let him pointlessly swirl his tongue in your mouth, failing to meet with your folded one.

“C’mon, princess, don’t go cold on me,” he mumbles. “Told ya work was shit today.” You said that the previous day, too. “Couldn’t even keep my eyes open to see how pretty you are. So damn pretty,” he takes his chances again, only this time you have no qualms about backing away toward the window.

His frustration gathers in his grip, his fingers digging crescent moons in the fat of your thighs. He glares, and you chuckle awkwardly before the situation can get out of hand.

“That’s not it! So what if this is the eight night in a row you come home beat after midnight and we haven’t… you know, in nearly two weeks? You think I’m counting? You think I don’t know how hard you work? That I don’t appreciate all the nice things your money’s gotten us?”

You plant a quick peck on his blossoming scowl. “Because I do. I really do, it’s just today’s the last day to cash these coupons out. Don’t want me going off on my own in the middle of the night, do you?”

He keeps quiet, the sole reason he allows himself to be manipulated by such cheap tricks being that up until fifteen minutes ago he was —unbeknownst to him— drooling on your pillow. That and to strip you off your clothes later on; a reason not too dissimilar from your own.

“Let’s go. I promise we’ll be snugglin’ in bed before you realize we were gone.”

“Are those stupid coupons worth that much to ya?” Toji asks.

No, they aren’t. You couldn’t care less about these stupid coupons if you tried, but staying home means spending another night burning your eyes at your phone’s screen by the snoring corpse on the left side of the bed. And you’d tried. You’d gone through every lingerie set in your possession, dabbed a generous amount of that falsely advertised Moroccan oil across your legs and rubbed your silky-smooth cunt all over his crotch like a bitch in heat, only to be turned down with another of his hoarse groans.

You’ve been patient with him. You are grateful that as tired as he was, he chose your bed to pass out on and not some random “coworker’s”. That the flawed man you’ve fallen head over heels for put up effort into straightening up for you. But relationships don’t run on gratitude alone. You miss him. His touch, his kiss, his fuck—even the green color swallowed past his permanently shut eyelids. If a silly idea is what it takes to have your boyfriend back, then you’ll gladly sit through a ten-minute drive of resentment.

“Yes, they are.” You smile, watching his hand relocate to the gear lever.

The clock points to 3:18 AM when Toji pulls over at the vacant parking lot that mirrors the state of the store; no one but a single employee to defend the fortress from the safety of his register. He acknowledges your presence with a nod, his head buried between the pages of the latest Shounen Jump. That’s not very professional of him, but what can you expect from someone who receives his paychecks for acting as a guard dog?

Toji grabs a cart from the stand and lazily pushes it into the first aisle, while you follow after the long-drawn gait of his sandals. You can’t help but pick on his slouch, both elbows balancing against the handlebar. His hair’s still ruffled from sleep, though it’s always kind of messy in a cute, boyish way. His shoulders seem twice as broad, prompting you to loop your arms around his slim waist and nuzzle your cheek against his back. You love how big he looks from this angle, yet not as big as he looks when he’s hunched over you with both your legs on both his shoulders—

“What’s your first coupon for?” He glances at you over his shoulder.

You sort the coupons in your hands, finding the one closest to the aisle you’re strolling.

“Soda. It’s right there,” you point out, and he takes a turn.

He parks the cart on the opposite end of the shelves while you take stock of the different cans and bottles, contemplating whether to start high or low. Your eyes fall on a six-pack bundle of grapefruit soda shoved deep into the highest shelf. You don’t love the flavor, but this will do.

You tiptoe to the shelves and stretch your arms as much as possible, your shirt lifting to reveal your bare back to him while your fingertips barely make contact with the edge of the plastic packaging. Your tits bounce as you jump up and down a few times before you graciously admit defeat.

“Toji? Would you mind getting that for me?” You ask pleadingly.

His jaw falls slack after a minute-long yawn, his eyes tracking your index finger to the bundle it points at. He cocks his head while sizing you up, a hint of a smirk twitching at his scar. He’s finally awake.

“Nah, you do it. Aren’t ya the one who preaches women’s equality and says there’s nothing men can do that women can’t?” Toji sneers. “Go on, kid. ‘m watching.”

A sigh leaves you as you turn around. “Feminism‘s got nothing to do with height.”

You throw yourself over the shelves again and hook a finger under the plastic net that binds the sodas together. The cans shimmy near the brink, and you are certain you will catch them when Toji’s hips suddenly snap against your ass. You yelp as the cans threaten to squash your head, a hand catching them with ease in mid-air while another hikes up your shirt and exposed underboob.

His hot breath tickles the shell of your ear as his lips attach to your lobe. “It’s got everything to do with you dressing like a whore, though, doesn’t it?”

You bite your lip into a straight line as you’re sandwiched between his body and the shelves, his fingers pinching your nipple harshly. You almost whimper—almost give in to him too easily when he starts grinding onto you, the press of his groin becoming more prominent with every languid sway.

“Wanna get fucked like one?” Toji doesn’t mumble so much as groan in your ear. “Promise I’ll be quick; heh, might give ya some more coupons after.”

An automated message informing you of the special discount in the baking aisle allows you to slip away from his clutches, and you’re unable to keep your giggles to yourself. His fists pang against the shelf while he curses under his breath. The sight is pathetic, but not pathetic enough for you to call things even. You want him to suffer like you did.

“On second thought, I’m trying to cut down on soda.” You declare much to his audible dismay. “Let’s check the baking aisle next. We’re out of bread.”

Toji stalks behind you, assuming his previous bored stance while pushing the cart forward with his entire body. You hear him huff every now and then, but don’t pay any mind. At least he’ll be rewarded handsomely for his patience. Yours wasn’t.

You halt in front of the various loaves and pastries, overjoyed to see that the overpriced organic linseed bread you constantly made excuses to not buy is 50% down. This might be a good chance to try it out. You fling it in the cart and continue your search for baked goods on the lower shelves. Jam-filled donuts. You definitely don’t need those, but it’s the only purchase you can justify, considering you have no use for the baking supplies surrounding them.

You make sure his eyes are fixed on you and bend over, exaggerating the arch of your bum. You hum softly, unsuspecting of any danger, and rock your hips while supposedly inspecting the labels. Strawberry jam, cherry jam, apricot jam, and—there it is. Your hair falls over your face as you catch his feet stepping between your own. Soon, his presence is felt rather than sensed.

Toji’s palm spreads over your cheek, his fingers long enough to squeeze a good chunk of flesh between them. “You cunning little slut,” he says in a gravelly voice. “Y’think I don’t know what you’re trynna do?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just checking the fillings; can’t read the letters while standing.” You lie through your teeth.

“Fillings, huh?” He repeats, and the word changes meaning on his tongue, gaining a lewd intonation. “Anyone can fill that sloppy cunt from this angle, sweetheart. That why you insist on doin’ groceries alone? Y’enjoy letting others see my pussy?”

You love how possessive he gets over your body. That’s another thing you’ve missed. You want him to say it again—to stake his claim over every inch of your body like he did before this hellish month began. You chose this store because you knew it would turn into a graveyard at this hour, but you honestly wouldn’t mind if it was packed with people either. You’d want to be filled by him all the same.

In a moment of weakness, you breathe out his name, and he slaps your ass so hard it reverberates across the aisles as an off-beat drum to the chirpy background music.

“Don’t ‘Toji’ me, girl. Y’know what to call me.”

“D-daddy,” you correct.

“There’s my baby,” Toji praises. “Taught her good manners, mhm?

Your cheeks assume a rosy shade. You’ve never used that name on him in public. It feels exhilarating—perhaps even more so than his fingers shoving the fabric of your shorts to the side and slipping right between your dripping folds.

He gasps. It’s a tiny sound that he thinks you missed, but it’s enough for you to gain confidence. Not many things are capable of shocking the Fushiguro Toji. His other hand joins in the action, rolling your shorts until they dig into your skin like a thong, and his suspicions are confirmed; you weren’t wearing anything underneath.

“Such a naughty girl,” Toji says, and his voice reaches deep within your pulsing core. You don’t think you can do this anymore. Correction: You don’t want to do this anymore.

His middle and ring fingers push into your hole a second time, and he slowly pumps them in and out, your clear essence coating his knuckles. Two fingers shouldn’t stretch you this good. You’re scared that in all these days, your pussy forgot the stretch of his cock.

“I oughta punish ya for acting up like a complete brat without my permission, but I’m feeling generous.” He says and you thank the gods, the universe, and whoever else is listening to your prayers for not letting you become the first woman in human history to experience blue balls.

“Tell me what ya dragged me here for, and don’t gimme any of that coupon bullcrap, or else you’ll be crawling outta here on all fours.”

Is that a promise or a threat?

His thumb finds your clit and you choke on a moan, the red jam squirting out of the donuts you grip. That’s plenty to answer his question.

“Now tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it for ya,” He rubs a full circle around the nub, the rest of his fingers plunging in so deep your knees go weak. “Got lots of options,” he reads the signs over your heads. “Canned; Deli; Snack; Dairy Aisle might be too cold for ya, hah, unless you’re into some temp play.”

His stalling makes you impatient. “Toji, I swear to God, if you don’t fuck me right here, right now I’ll fucking implode.”

The older man chuckles lowly, finding your outburst positively endearing. He fixes your shorts back in place and instead grabs your hand, forcing you to follow him through the empty aisles on a walk that seemingly lasts for hours. He finally lets go when you make it to the Candy aisle, where thousands of colorful gummy bears can bear witness to your sinful act.

Toji flashes a wolfish smile as he corners you between two walls and the door leading to the store’s storage room. He points at the ceiling, and you aren’t sure what you’re looking for until he explains, “It’s a blind spot here. Only place without a working camera.”

He cups your cheek and brings your face to his, licking his lips.

“How do you know that?”

“Great minds think alike. Wanted to bring ya here myself some day. Didn’t think your prude ass would act out first. You’re full of surprises.” His tongue enters your mouth and presses flat against your own. Your fingers lace behind his neck, and his get a firm grip on your hips. He’s much harder than before.

“Speaking of your ass,” and they slide to seize both cheeks, “mind turning ‘round for me?”

His question isn’t a request so much as an order you must obey. “Good girl.” Toji praises you and cages your chest with one arm while the other searches for the zipper in his pants. He lets them ride low around his hips and pulls his cock out of its confinement, stroking it with his fist. You hear his breath grow sharper—or maybe it’s yours. You can’t tell over the sound of your heart; the excitement the same as if it were your first time with him.

Instead of tugging your shorts off, he yanks the fabric to one side and runs his reddened tip between your puffy folds. He hasn’t even pushed it in when you tilt your head to meet his hooded green eyes. “I’ve missed you.” His stare lifts, lustful and adoring as ever. “I’ve missed you so damn much, Toji. You’re always here, but never really here—you know?”

Toji cranes his neck to kiss you, you think, but in reality all he does is swallow the moan that comes out as he drills his cock in your hole. “Missed ya more, sweetheart.” You roll your eyes. He just has to win this too.

Once he bottoms out, he takes a moment to snare his arms appropriately around your body; one holding your shoulders semi-straight and the other spanning over your tummy to grab onto your tit, bulging muscles on both. There’s not much you can do with your hands in this position. You plant them over your mouth to drown out some of your sounds before they can pour out, though most end up slipping anyway as his cock begins to bully your insides.

You were right. It’d been so long that your pussy had reverted to its previous state. It’s more than you can take. More overwhelming and much more pleasurable than you remember.

“Got no idea how much I missed you,” Toji grunts, his voice falling out of tempo while his hips rut at a steady pace. “Got no idea how many times I jerked it to your pictures in the stall. How many—times, I beat my meat to that gorgeous face and spilled my load over your pretty lips.”

Tears well up in your eyes from how fast he’s pounding you; the imagery of his balls tensing up with all that cum he’d wasted fantasizing about you making your pussy sob for him, too.

“You got me running there so often, the guys talk shit behind my back, saying pussy got me whipped. They dunno how perfect this tight little hole is—fuck, baby.” He stutters, his teeth sinking into your neck. “Gonna cum if ya keep grippin’ me like that. So fucking tight cause ya gettin’ fucked in public?”

You whine out loud as he slows down, allowing for your hips to meet his thrusts half-way. Your head is drooping forward and your hand sneaks inside your shorts to play with your clit, flicking the small bundle of nerves while his fat cock continuously brushes against your sweetest spot. You bite at your own palm to keep quiet. It’s always the way he runs his mouth that gets you going the most, clouding your inability to think straight.

“Should I just quit?” Toji asks between heavy pants. “Stay home and fuck every day like we used to?”

You nod furiously without anything of what he’s saying registering. Your legs are turned into jello and your mind into mush while his cock splits you open, and you know that if he retracts his arms you’ll collapse on the floor like a rag-doll.

“C’mon, speak up. No one’s gonna hear us, that nobody doesn’t have the guts to come check.” He rolls your stiffened nipple between his calloused fingers, a palm coming down to slap your ass. “Lemme hear that pretty voice.”

“Y-yes.” You rely on pure perseverance to keep your pitch low as you plant your palms on the wall for support. “Don’t wanna share your cock with anyone, T-Toji.”

His lips print a smile on your neck and another on your cheek. “Don’t you mean me, darling?”

You can’t find your voice to answer him, the coil in your guts continuously tensing up—promising the best climax of your goddamn life until it’s taken away by the rapid stomping of the short-stature employee.

“What are you two doing here?” The man asks, unable to fully take in the scene from the other end of the aisle.

Toji’s large frame covers both you and the point where your bodies connect, his hips still moving on their own in spite of his attention being elsewhere. You pull away half-heartedly and straighten the shorts over your body. He leaves to fix his own clothes, while he does all the talking.

“Huh, this place got no restroom?”

Toji scratches the back of his head, waiting for his zipper to be back up before turning to the man. You mentally cast a curse on the employee, wishing it follows his family down to at least three generations, while your walls still flutter over the absence of Toji’s cock, which by the way, is impossible to hide when it’s throbbing a dark stain in his pants.

To no one’s surprise, the employee doesn’t buy your boyfriend’s excuse and demands you leave before he calls the cops. Seeing as Toji’s had enough trouble with the law as is, you grab his hand and the two of you bolt outside, the linseed bread bidding you a sorrowful goodbye from the cart you abandoned.

You don’t stop running until Toji beeps the car doors open and you fall back into your seats, the first glance you share causing you both to burst into laughter. He leans in your direction and you tilt your head in his, lips stealing a quick kiss that’s soon replaced by a playful punch of his shoulder.

“I liked this grocery store!” You complain as if it’s his fault. “Won’t be able to set foot in here ever again.”

“Plenty of fish in the sea, kid.” He shrugs, twisting the key in the engine. His hand moves to the gear, but when he notices your pout persisting, he turns off the ignition.

“Couldn’t even cash out any of my coupons,” you say in a whiny tone.

“At least we got these.”

Your eyes widen as he reveals a small box of Konpeito candy, having not a single clue when and how he managed to get them. “You stole them?”

“Uh… let’s just say I wasn’t allowed to pay for them.” He answers with an innocent smile.

“Toji!” You yell as if stealing candy is any more severe than any of the multiple felonies he’s committed. It isn’t. “Gimme some.”

Toji holds the box out of reach, extending his arm over his headrest to the backseats. “Nah. You said it’s stolen goods, don’t wanna make my baby into an accomplice. You’re far too cute to have your own mugshot.”

His sweet-talking doesn’t stop you from pouncing at him again, your hands attacking each side of his head while he insists to wiggle them away from you. The second-hand vehicle tips back and forth at your attempts, and eventually honks are fired as you climb on his lap, the fight resulting in another make-out session that reaffirms all of his statements as he tears your clothes off your body and pulls his dick out.

He missed you too.

“I’ll give ya some, but… you gonna let me choose where we do our shopping next.”

A/N: I'm happy this was my first request, had fun writing this!

[delirious-donna]

The Moments Before [Part Six]

"You will drink from her. We will find out together if there is any truth behind the old stories. This is not a request. It’s an order.”

story summary: Levi isn’t hungry, or so that’s what he claims. A vampire must drink to survive, and his sire refuses to let the man give up without trying every trick up his sleeve. When a new ‘donor’ appears, one who is different from all the rest, will Levi be able to keep resisting?

pairing: Levi Ackerman (vampire) x female reader (human)

warnings: hospital/medical setting (dream), implications of losing a parent, grief, fear of death, a lot of plotting for the story, vampire powerplay

note: the next chapter... yeah, it's gonna be a BIG one. Explosive to say the least, and expect very mature content. Whilst I'm here, let me thank all of those who have left comments or reblogged this story. 2024 has been a shitshow and writing has helped me stay sane. Thank you for indulging my hobby.

Part Five | Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Part Seven

“What made you want to try this line of work?”

The question sounded innocent enough, but you still peered curiously at Hange.

They were lying spread out on an antique couch that looked like it was due far from respect than what it was receiving. Your eyes narrowed on them, picking at their cuticles and swinging a barefoot over the back of said couch.

Trust was earned in your book. That was a lesson you had learned the hard way, and if you were to continue your service here then you needed to be mindful of what information you volunteered and to whom. Saying that, Hange had been nothing but friendly towards you, in fact, they were the first person to really talk to you.

Pleasantries were all well and good, but they wore thin very quickly. Hange had appeared in your life like a whirlwind, and despite the reservations you had promised yourself you would hold tight to, you found it all too easy to become a little more familiar with them.

“Well, the money is good,” you admitted slowly, cautiously.

Hange snorted and rolled their body, so they were looking at you properly, glasses perched low on their nose. “Girl, please. There has got to be more to it than the fat wad of cash Erwin handed you. I know—for a fact—that there are well paying jobs that are far less intrusive than this one. You had to move here for an indefinite period. That is not an easy decision to make for a quick buck, even if it is the big bucks.”

“It was a good enough answer when your boss interviewed me, and I use that word lightly, grilled would be far more accurate.”

Erwin had been very thorough in his line of questioning, even going as far as to ask for your family history going back six generations. You recalled him explaining with the most casual of shrugs and a soft, near disconcerting smile, that no vampire worth mentioning wanted to take blood from a potential relative. What a disturbing thought…

“Erwin and I do not think alike—at all—in any way, shape or form.” Hange snorted, amused that you would ever think them to be remotely similar. “Whilst he would absolutely know if you were lying…”

A thrill shot through your spine. Hange smiled, knowing that your heart rate had spiked at that very moment.

“As I was saying… he would know if you were lying, but sometimes we can tell the truth whilst not revealing everything. I enjoy picking holes in people. Consider yourself my latest project.”

Suddenly the gummy bears in your hand looked less appealing than before. Dropping the handful into your lap, you placed one on your tongue and sucked on it quietly. You had no interest in being a weird science experiment.

“C’mon,” Hange chided with a childlike whine.

They rolled right off the edge of the couch with an ungraceful thump and crawled on their knees towards the overstuffed chair you occupied, planting their chin on the arm. They reminded you of a puppy who had just been scolded.

“We’re friends, right? It’s not like I don’t trust you. I just wanna know. There’s a reason other than the money, isn’t there?”

If you didn’t already feel trapped, you certainly did now.

How on earth had you found yourself in the company of a vampire acting like a damn puppy so readily? They were meant to be these all-powerful beings and here was Hange acting like if you gave them the barest of crumbs, they would roll over to present their belly. It defied logic!

Pushing out a long, low breath, you straightened your back.

You could admit to certain things, you didn’t need to say it all. It wouldn’t be so bad for at least someone around here to know a little more about you. Your mind immediately flitted to Levi, cheeks flushing that you wanted that person to be him more than anyone else. He didn’t care. He wouldn’t care. That’s what you told yourself because the alternative was too dizzying.

“I definitely didn’t lie; money really is a major factor. My dad… he works too hard. He’s getting older now and he refuses to slow down even though I know—I can see—the toil it’s taking on him. I want him to retire whilst he still has a chance to live, to enjoy his golden years without having to worry that he won’t have enough money to pay the bills. Do you know how annoying it is to have a father who refuses to listen to reason?”

“I can imagine,” Hange replied, eyebrows raised, and you had the distinct impression that they were thinking of one such person who fit your description. You smiled in recognition. “I get that, but blood donor, really? Didn’t fancy a short stint of working as a high-end escort or something that doesn’t come with the iron deficiency and the headache of cranky vampires?”

This was the crux of your problem; vampires offered you the potential solution to another problem. A far more personal problem. It felt like your clock was ticking and the noise only grew louder and more deafening with each day that passed.

You blinked hard, shutting out the fluorescent strip lighting and the beeping monitors that never ceased their noise. Not even in those final moments, the sound of a flatlining heart monitor permanently scarred your memories.

That was not your future. It had been so much of your past that you damn well refused to give it any room in your future. Drastic times called for drastic measures. Weren’t you using them as much as they were using you? It was a fair trade, right?

“You’re right, it would have been easy to fall into escorting, if I could find a place reputable enough to ensure I wasn’t going to be taken advantage of, but I have a problem with getting close to people,” you said whilst looking down at your fuzzy yellow socks.

“How so? You seem just fine in being able to converse and I don’t sense any social anxiety in you, even when you’re the only human in the room. Plus, this job requires you to get close… I mean, it’s kinda necessary.” Hange sat back on their haunches, puzzlement evident in their features and their eyes dropping to your neck and back.

It felt like being under a microscope.

You shrugged, an attempt at nonchalance. “People die. I have a problem with that.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I’m fucked.”

“An understatement, dear.”

A chuckle left your lips, it grew into peals of laughter until you were clutching your stomach and bent over from the pain of them. Tears formed in the corners of your eyes, not yet falling, and you were quick to wipe them away as you fixed your watery stare on Hange.

You hadn’t lied, but again, you hadn’t disclosed everything.

“Any chance we can change the subject for now? I’m feeling suitably embarrassed,” you said with a hiccup.

Gratitude filled your chest when they nodded, solemn one moment then playful the next, moving on to regale you with tales of their younger years spent with Erwin and Levi.

~

“What’s the problem?” Erwin inquired, fatigue evident in his tone, and mirrored by the pinching motion at the bridge of his nose.

Levi wasn’t keen to be back in this office, but he knew that when it came to finding the answers he needed… Erwin would be key. There was only so much he could find out on his own.

He just needed to take care with his words, not something he was known for.

“Why her?”

The blond stilled, his piercing blue eyes locking with Levi’s. A smile unfurled—devilish and knowing. “There is something you aren’t telling me, Levi, but that’s okay. You’ll tell me in your own time, I have nothing but time, after all.”

“You’re not helping! Can you answer a question without turning it back on me or into some elaborate riddle that makes my head pound?” Levi all but growled.

“Fine,” he sighed. “You want to know why her… I don’t know if I can truly articulate my reasons, there was simply a feeling. She felt like someone you would like, for lack of a better word. That you wouldn’t steamroll over her and perhaps she could reach you where I have been unsuccessful.”

Erwin’s gaze turned thoughtful, the edges of his eyes softening into something akin to melancholy. Levi glanced away, not nearly ready to decipher any of the emotions flitting freely across his maker’s face.

“Do you remember those stories you used to tell us about blood singing?” Levi asked without further preamble.

“… yes. Of course. They are legends of sort; I don’t think there are many—if any—that believe the tales these days. Why do you ask?”

Levi looked at him now. Gray mercurial irises fixed steadily on those artic blue ones that never failed to leave him feeling as if Erwin was looking inside his head, rifling through his memories and thoughts as if it was his personal filing cabinet.

“Did it happen—”

Levi held up a hand, and for once, Erwin quieted.

“You say there is little to no one that believes it to be true, but what about you? Do you think meeting someone who’s blood sings to them is even possible? I hate to admit that I respect your opinion, and whilst I am neither confirming nor denying if it has happened, I want to hear your thoughts on the matter.”

Erwin sat back in his chair, elbows braced on the sturdy arms and his fingers steepled beneath his chin. His lips pursed. If Levi didn’t know any better, he would say his heart was racing, but he was too far into the starvation process for that to be true. He waited for what seemed like an eternity, fingers gripping tighter into his thighs to prevent himself from spitting and hissing, demanding an answer rather than this painfully prolonged silence.

“Well, my head says it was a foolish story concocted to soothe the newly turned, for those that disliked the idea of constantly taking blood from humans to sustain their existence. One person who was made for them, who could provide everything they needed and potentially be able to turn without it affecting their blood… who wouldn’t want that?”

For a moment, Levi thought that was his final thought, but Erwin surprised him by continuing after more than a beat or two of silence.

“My heart wants it to be true,” Erwin said with a solemn nod of his head. “For one it would mean more power to any vampire lucky enough to meet their blood singer…”

Levi scoffed at Erwin’s words but did not interject further, letting him continue despite the arch of his thick black eyebrow.

“Ultimately, our lives are lonely. We can be surrounded by our own kind, but true connections between vampires are rare and don’t often survive the difficulties that come with that type of relationship. I would be a fool not to want a slice of companionship that didn’t involve an element of wariness.”

Erwin sat forward, fixing Levi with a penetrating stare. “I am not above wanting to find the person destined to be mine and mine alone. Those blessed enough to encounter these… special people, they should not squander that gift.”

Goddammit.

He was right. That realisation grated down Levi’s nerves more than he thought it would. If all of this was correct, he really would be an idiot not to explore it further, but… was it the right thing to do? How would you take this news? Would you even believe him?

The thought that you were his perfect companion, the only person in this world who could sustain him indefinitely, even if turned, and would strengthen him in ways he did not yet comprehend, that was a lot to ask of anyone. A donor’s job was only ever meant to last a few months, maybe a year, but not for the rest of your life.

“I don’t like this,” he admitted quietly.

His hand clenched into a fist atop his lap, eyes concentrating on how the tendons and muscles flexed and shifted beneath his pale skin. “Who am I to condemn anyone’s live like that? No one would want to be tethered to me in such a way.”

“You forget your past lovers,” Erwin interjected calmly. “There was at least one of them who begged you for the chance of immortality. Was that not in an effort to stay with you?”

Levi bristled at the memory, at the ache that still found him all these decades later. “I was merely a means to an end, and you damn well know that. They were far more driven in ambitions than I realised until it was almost too late.”

“In any case, that is by the by. I must insist that you determine if your assumptions are correct. Yes, Levi, I am well aware that you think our newest donor is your blood singer despite the pitifully weak attempts at hiding that fact from me. I am not an idiot. Plus, it seems you might have intrigued Hange by letting it slip in some capacity to the little one.”

“What do you mean?” Levi demanded, his guard coming up in an instant. He did not want Hange poking their annoying nose into this business, they would be insufferable to say the least.

Laughter erupted from Erwin, far too boisterous for Levi’s liking. “Well, did you mention anything about blood singing to our guest? Maybe you didn’t mean to, or you hadn’t realised, but she asked Hange about it on the drive here after your first encounter. I had to pull that little tidbit from them, they were not happy about my means either.”

“I’ll bet,” Levi grumped. He was all too familiar with the exertion of power that Erwin had over him and the others made by his hands. Hange might be a pest at the best of times, but he hoped that the experience had not been too rough, especially given how precarious Erwin’s mood had been of late.

Standing, Levi brushed his palms over his thighs and moved towards the door. The action was mirrored by the much taller man, Erwin intercepting him without much effort.

Suddenly the air shifted. No longer was there a sense of familial warmth, more so it felt like the air had been sucked from the room. Oppressive and thick—the gesture did not go unnoticed.

“Now is not the time to be leaving, Levi.”

“Are you planning on stopping me if I try?” he asked, head cocked in curiosity of how far Erwin was willing to play his hand.

“I would rather not, but if needs must…”

The threat lingered; Levi could feel the first tendrils of power leaking from his sire and knew if push came to shove, he would be forced to bend the knee and remain if that was what was asked of him. He hated that power, that stupid connection that bound him to Erwin like an invisible ball and chain around his ankle. This was part of why he wanted to end it all, or so he tried to convince himself.

“If you were so set on ending your existence, why not have someone behead you or destroy your heart? Levi, I am sorry, but all I have viewed this ridiculous plot of yours is a temper tantrum. You will drink from her. We will find out together if there is any truth behind the old stories. This is not a request. It’s an order.”

The hairs on Levi’s arms and at the back of his neck stood up. Energy pulsed like lapping waves inside the room, they were coming faster and stronger with each ripple. Soon he would be forced to bow to the whims of his sire.

He could count on one hand the number of times this had played out. Erwin meant every word; his conviction would not be swayed. Should he continue to fight against it?

“Why?” he asked, voice hoarse with the effort of producing the single word.

“I have my reasons. Whether I decide to clue you into them will depend on how the next little while goes,” Erwin answered stiffly.

Levi found his gaze straying to the door. Not because he was still trying to leave, he could have shadowstepped if he didn’t know that Erwin would prevent it, but because there were voices on the other side.

Voices he recognised.

His heart lurched in his chest. Golden threads awakening to tighten around the withering organ.

You were coming.

~

“Does it hurt?”

It was amazing how childlike you sounded despite being in your early twenties, almost like it wasn’t your voice at all. Except… it was yours.

Your mother turned a weak smile in your direction, it didn’t reach her eyes—dulled with pain—and you knew the answer would be a lie. Not one borne of bad intention, quite the opposite, but it would be a deceit regardless.

“No, darling. I’m fine, more than fine when my girl is here with me.” She reached for you; her hand was thinner than you had ever known it, the skin near translucent to highlight the veins beneath and the fragile bones.

The comfort you should have felt from taking your mum’s hand didn’t manifest. There was no warmth, only an ice-cold hand wrapped delicately around yours. You worried that if she tried to squeeze your fingers, her bones might snap entirely.

The time was coming. There was nothing you could do to stop it. Doctors had tried and failed. Your mother would die and there wasn’t a single thing in this world you could do to prevent it.

It wasn’t long before the familiar lump settled into your throat, and welling of tears began in your eyes, smudging your vision whilst you tried desperately to blink them away. You could feel the frown creasing between your eyebrows, and the downward tilt of your lips. It didn’t matter how long you had known this would be the outcome; the hurt was still as raw as when the doctor had given his final prognosis.

Slowly, you crumpled over her bed. The bright overheard strip lighting might not be as intense in the private side room than in the main ward, but they still stung your eyes even when you closed them tightly shut.

If only the constant beeping from the monitors would fade away until all you could hear was your own laboured breathing and the soothing hum from your mum as she stroked her fingers through your hair in an effort to console you.

Your father should be here, and his absence only became apparent when three resounding knocks came from the door, with it a chill far greater swept over you until you were convinced you could see the very breath from your mouth.

Something wanted to come in, but it wasn’t time.

There was more to be said, more to be shared. More more more.

“You can’t ignore it forever,” your mum said quietly.

“Watch me.”

She made to tut, but her tongue got stuck behind her teeth and she coughed instead. You could hear the rattle in her chest, the exertion of her lungs working harder than they should have to.

The guilt ate you and another knock chimed like a death knell.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, lowering your head at the same moment her fingers slipped out of your grasp.

Your vision greyed from the outward corners in, and no matter how much you tried to blink and refocus or look around, the result didn’t change. The beeping was getting worse. There were people in the room now. A black shadow loomed from behind you and a scream ripped through your throat until you jolted awake.

Sweat dripped down your neck as you sat bolt upright, blinking and trying to reorient yourself once your heart thundered so furiously you thought it might break through your ribs.

You were in the same parlour room from earlier, where you had spent a fun few hours chatting with Hange and playing card games when they got bored of only telling stories. The walls were decorated in duck egg blue and the armchair you had fallen asleep on was as opulent as you recalled.

How long were you out?

Hange was nowhere to be seen, and suddenly, with dawn comprehension, the idea of sleeping in a room where anyone living or visiting the household could walk right in cooled your blood. You were nothing more than a naïve lamb in a den of lions.

It took you a good while to calm your racing heart and nerves, a good thing too or you might have screamed when the faraway door clicked loudly before opening just enough for Hange’s head to pop through.

Their eyes scanned the room then fell on you, eyebrows rising along with a smile. “You’re finally awake! It’s only been three hours… tired, were we?”

Three hours?!

“Something like that,” you grumbled, cheeks warming.

Hange chuckled and stepped inside to lean on the door. “Not wise to fall asleep anywhere other than your bedroom. Y’know, it locks for a reason. Gotta keep the monsters at bay somehow, right?”

“Oh, hey! I’m only teasing,” they continued when your pallor turned to ash. “No one would dare, not here, I swear it. Erwin would murder anyone that even thinks about hurting you.”

“That’s… comforting?” You mused, unclear if it was comforting or kind of terrifying to know. “I didn’t sleep great last night; I must have dozed off. I blame your lame ass stories.”

Hange scoffed, hands on hips and nostrils flaring.

“My stories are unrivalled, thank you very much! They sure as hell are more honest than anything you’d get out of Levi, that’s for damn certain. He’s such a stick in the mud.” Hange shook her head as if recalling some long distant memory then jerked up straight. “Nevermind that! You’re wanted!”

“I’m what?”

“Wanted,” they repeated as if that clearly explained everything, and they didn’t know why you needed clarity.

“I don’t speak Hange-euse, can you elaborate?”

“You. Are. Wanted. In. Erwin’s. Office. In. Exactly. Thirty. Minutes. Move!” Hange enthused each word carefully, over-enunciating every syllable dramatically. They motioned their hand between you and the door, gesturing for you to get a move on, but for a moment you were frozen.

Erwin wanted to see you again. You weren’t sure why it felt different from any of the other times you had met with him, especially over the past few days, but there was an air of something brewing that you disliked.

That ominous feeling from your dream resurged with gusto. Had it been some weird kind of warning or were you letting your paranoia overwhelm you? Whatever it was, you couldn’t dwell on it, not when you looked like you had been dragged backwards through a garden maze.

“Alright, I’m going. Don’t shove!”

Destiny awaited behind the mahogany door at the other side of the house. Whether it was good or bad…

That was entirely in your hands now.

[amoristt]

trust i seek, and i find in you | pt3

part 1 (x) . part 2 (x)

「 ✦ seong gi-hun / reader ✦ 」

tags: sfw // lots of death ment, angstttt bro, like so much, sad gi-hun </3, a/n: sorry for the super shorter chapter next one is the finale <3 ik im changing the events of the actual show but let me live i needed a bridge to the finale!!!!!!!!! ugh i so sad its almost done already

All the mattresses had disappeared. 

All but two. 

The dormitory feels impossibly large, now. The piggy bank dangles from the ceiling with banded paper threatening to spill over the edges, mounting at the brims, hanging fat and heavy. You refuse to look at it, so it laughs at you instead. Taunts you. There may as well have been blood, bone, and souls stirring about in that tank, the money tainted with the lives of your friends, the lives of the struggling. 

There was no prize. Not anymore. 

You’d almost paired with Gi-hun for the marbles game. His hands had found you, wrapped around your arm the moment that voice overhead announced that the game would be played in pairs. His hands on you were like fish to water- knowing, promising. Housing. But then in the distance as the timer closed in you saw Il-nam crouched on his own, watching blurry bodies skate him by, seeking stronger, seeking better. You saw the former version of yourself in all of them. 

If there was a moment you’d be acutely aware of how much Gi-hun had changed you, this would be it. 

You'd spent your entire life waiting for something, someone, worth changing for.

So when Gi-hun turned towards you, those eyes full of empathetic guilt, you already knew what coming. Beat him to it, infact. 

“It’s okay. I’ll see you after, yeah?” You’d murmured despite the way this heavy weight had settled in your chest. Worry, anxiety, all because you would have to be without. 

He kissed your forehead in thanks. You lingered on it for much too long.

“You will.”

And then he was gone, reaching a hand out to to the old man and bringing him to his wobbly feet. Gi-hun was special like that. Always giving and never taking. Not even when he deserved it. You like to think he'd learned from his previous lifestyle, to be the hand that provided, and not the hand that stole.

There was a quick grasp to your hand and low and behold, 212 filled your vision. A much less pleasant view. Her shrill voice brought an ache to your temples, a burn to your skin where she grasped you tight. Sure, you needed a partner, and she knew that. Must have watched your interaction with Gi-hun like a damn vulture and swooped in the second there was room. 

There was a moment when she'd looked at you like you were her saving grace, and for just a second, you'd wondered if maybe all this exterior roughness was just a front. But then, she had to go and ruin it with her words once again.

“Who needs men anyways,” She’d harped. “If he wants to die with that old guy, so be it, huh?”

You ripped yourself away from her like you’d been scalded. She didn’t know the first thing about either of them, and you’d be damned if you would ever put your lives in the hands of hers. Even if you saw yourself in her. Even if she was just trying to survive.

But it was so hard to pity her when those comments seemed to always fill your mouth with bitter. You sought elsewhere.

And you found it- in player 068. He seemed normal enough, albeit noticeably standoffish, moving through the motions with a blank stare, enough determination on those features to bring you comfort- to fail you would be to fail himself. You remembered this sense of unease going into a new challenge blind and relying on a total stranger. 

You remembered how you nearly lost what little breakfast you were provided on the dirt floor when the game was announced. This wasn’t teams- it was rivalry. A versus match. 

Images of your friends flashed through your racing mind. You swore you would have a heart attack.

Ali and Sang-woo. Sae-Byeok and Yi-Jeong. 

Gi-hun and Il-nam.

You were crying before your own game even started. 068 didn’t question it, but you could see the way he studied you, unsure of you. Wondering just what you were doing crying in front of a fellow competitor playing games for your lives. Grief struck you before you even knew who to cry over. 

The initial impression you’d had of him was almost dead on- he was determined. But he wasn’t so closed off as you had thought him to be, that stoic face and even tone masking a much warmer person underneath. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to ask him his name. He didn’t ask you yours, either. 

It was hard to focus on the game. Every turn a step closer to death. Every gunshot the reminder that you may never see your friends again. But, round by round, you managed. When he was on his last marble, you cried even harder. If you from just a week ago, leery eyed, shifty handed and as selfish as the dark over light, you wouldn’t understand the depth of your own sorrow. You’d won, after all. Wiped a player off the board to propel yourself, your life, your wants over his. You’d surely have been proud of yourself.

But now, you just feel like a fucking monster.

To be loved, is to be changed.

To be changed, is to suffer.

You were always good at these types of games. You thought, maybe, by letting him choose the game, it would make the pill easier to gag down. You found, however, it really didn't. From the very second the games started, when he’d made his choice and it was one you were highly familiar with, guilt had already begun to stockpile up in the warehouses of your heart. Box after box. Taking up space, filling you to the brim. 

“I used to play this with my mom,” He’d said, mind escaping to a better time even if just a moment when he’d picked. “I got pretty good at it.”

You wished he hadn’t said that. It was all you could think about when he, with shaking hands and a pale to his face, handed over his last marble. Crestfallen, hopeless. The image of him as a spirited child and soft hands playing marbles with a faceless mother made you sick to your stomach.

You said something you didn’t think would ever see the daylight of your lips. 

“I’m sorry.”

And he, with slumped shoulders and his head hung low. “I know.”

You were escorted away, and you knew deep in the bowels of your heart that you were going to hear that gunshot in your dreams. Following you, watching you. Haunting you for the rest of your life. 

However long that was, anyways. 

The room you were led to was large and bathed in pure white, absent of anything particularly eye catching. There were already people standing about, some with their heads held high, others struggling with the weight of guilt so heavy it threatened to crush you all under its umbrella. Sang-woo’s eyes found you before anyone else's, his expression strained, his red-lined eyes betraying his all-business exterior. It made it hard to breathe. 

Sae-Byeok shared the sentiment. Distant, far away. Trying to figure out how to cope now bearing the hands of cruelty towards someone worth caring about. 

Then, you saw him. Gi-hun. And his angular cheeks are soaked with tears. When his eyes meet yours, a lance of relief has you letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, but there’s no room for much else. Grief burrowed and dug it’s way in, seized the joy and ate it whole. Il-nam’s passing wasn’t an easy loss to digest. Partly because the old man had meant something to you. Mostly because Gi-hun would never forgive himself. He’d left a piece of himself lying on that dirt, counting marbles and talking with his gganbu. 

You crept to his side and took his hand in your own. All he could offer was a squeeze in return.

You could still see 068 behind your eyes. How he hadn’t been angry with you, how he watched you walk away before dropping to the ground. Never to return home, never to be found. The walls felt like they were both growing larger and also closing in. You were struggling to grapple with it all. 

Gi-hun was still back there with the old man as you were all escorted back to the dormitories where they passed out measly potatoes and water. Still back there when you’d all sat among the beds now found far and few between, picking at your meals with your bellies full on remorse. 

Gi-hun couldn’t bring himself to eat. Sae-Byeok struggled to get past the second bite. You yourself just found it easier to roll the potato around in your hands, balancing the weight of it, wondering if you could ever be forgiven. Gi-hun’s knee bumped against yours, a reminder that he was still there, even if his expression was as blank as a canvas. You needn’t ask to understand what he was thinking about, lost in it. 

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, they were just people you’d met here.” Sand-woo had said, almost finished with his meager meal. Talking to himself, justifying himself, but everyone could feel it- Ali’s absence was like a solar eclipse. You followed his line of sight to 069, sitting in a heap of desolation on one of the only mattresses left. Sang-woo swallowed hard. “That man’s partner was his wife.”

You breath left you like a ghost as you took in the sight of the poor man, struck and swimming with grief. 

Gi-hun cried that night. Though it was silent, muted tears gathering at the point of his jaw before soaking into his tracksuit, you could feel his shoulder trembling with each inaudible sob. He trembled apart in your hold and you tucked him into yourself, cradled his body and kissed his forehead just as he'd taught you as if it would heal him. His fingers found you in the darkness and held tight, just as needing as how you clutched him. Your heart ached, seismic pains ringing from every nerve in your body, drawing you in despair. 

Every time you dozed off, you swore you could hear a gunshot cutting through the humidity of turmoil. You swore you’d see 068’d face. 

Maybe if you hadn’t met Gi-hun, you’d have taken all of this mess in stride like 101. You hated him- despised his cruelty and his jeers, but ultimately he went to sleep that night with a full stomach and dreaming of fat stacks of bloodied cash. Meanwhile, you stared at the ceiling and barely registered the way your stomach growled at you. It felt just. Perhaps if you’d sought help elsewhere that first day, you could sleep. 

But, you didn’t. So now, you endured. 

069’s cries did not go unnoticed, either, from his bed now entirely too cold to withstand.

It was tough to imagine the suffering, the pure guilt so true and down to it’s very root that it grew it’s sprawling limbs of misery and woe into every crevice. Under every stone, over the sky, from the tip of his nose to the soles of his heavy feet. The human body was not designed to bear such suffering. It curled in itself, emptied itself of all things good. Hollowed from the inside out. 

So much so, that when you’d found out the next morning that the man had taken his own life, you weren’t sure how there was anything left of himself to hang. 

How you take anymore of this? When there was already so little left. 

That day, you discovered that the pits of rock bottom were merely roadblocks. 

The glass bridge took everything. Taught you that even when you believed your cup had run dry of tears, there would never be an end to the bottomless waterfalls in your eyes. There would never be a suffering so consuming and total that it would simply stop there. 

Everyone had died except you and Gi-hun. 

The finalists. 

The piggy bank grinned with teeth and malice. Reminded you of what you had done. What you had witnessed, and how you had survived off the backs of your former competitors. 

You were fed and suited. Given a real meal, something you'd have fought tooth and nail for nail for back home. It tasted like despair. 

All you could see were the fleeting images of Sang-woo crashing through the glass in his desperate attempt to cross the bridge and leap to the platform as the timer ticked away the seconds of his lifespan. He’d tried to grab the bars as he went, fingers slipping off the metal and sending him plummeting to the ground. You, Sae-Byeok, and Gi-hun barely managed to jump to safety as the bridge combusted into fireworks of glass and shards, showering your fallen friend meters down below. 

You think a piece of Gi-hun fell with him. You think Gi-huns left pieces of himself everywhere, now. Back with Il-nam lying sprawled in the dirt, down in the bellows of the pit with Sang-woo mangled and broken. You’re not entirely sure how whole you are anymore, either. 

When the guards lead the way out, you had to take Gi-hun’s hand in your own just to get him moving. 

Sae-Byeok didn’t survive the walk back to the dorms after your pointless meals. One moment, she was there. Quiet as always, somber. Maybe if you’d have known she was bleeding out, you could have done something. The next moment, she was dropping like a stone, and she bled, and bled, and bled. 

There wasn’t much to remember after that. Just a blur of outcries and the desperate, pleading demands that they save her. You’d both pounded on the doors, wrenching at the knobs, begging for them to do something until you were both blue in the face and sliding down the door in exhaustion. 

No one answered, and the lights flickered out down to the same minute second as they always had. 

With no one other than Gi-hun at your side, there wasn’t reason to concern yourself with watching each other's backs. You don’t think either of you had the energy for it even if you had, running empty tanks and affliction. All you found yourself able to do was lay beside him and beg God for a different way. A different path. Anything other than the way you were headed. You’d be different, this time, you promised. You’d do right. No more stealing, or cheating, or fighting for just the scraps at the end of the table. You wouldn’t take this life for granted any longer if he just please saved you both. Pull your sorry souls from the fire and let you start anew.

His arms are wrapped around you and his face inches away. Now, truer than ever, there was nothing but him. 

Gi-hun's voice is soft. “We will both leave here. I promise you."

The red lights of the surveillance cameras blink from every corner in the darkness. 

You tried to believe him over all else.

“I’m scared.” You whispered. He kisses the top of your head. An all healing ailment. Your lower lip quivers. 

So, he kisses your nose. And then your cheek. The corner of your mouth. You found the sides of his face in the darkness like you’d done it your entire life, and you press your lips against his. His hands splay over your back, and he drags you in.

[maxiroff]

I guess your not who I thought you were ~Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader is bullied in school and Natasha asks her to tutor her. They fall in love but is their relationship really as good as reader thinks and what happens when Natasha is put in the spot?

Ps. It’s a shit summery but it will have to do.

Paring: Popular Natasha x bullied reader

Words : 1756

Warnings: ANGST , bullying- mentally and a bit physical, self hatred, eating disorder, talks of suicide, self harm, no happy ending

Note: This is my firs time writing angst so it’s not that good and it’s kinda rushed. And again English is not my first language so there may be errors and I haven’t proofread it.

It started with you tutoring her in math and in english. You were the nerdy outcast that nobody wanted to be seen around with. You’ve been bullied since you can remember and while you tried not to let the comments get to you, sometimes they just do.

“God you're so fat you should just stop eating.”

So you did. And it worked for a while, until it didn't. Every time you stepped on the scale the numbers seem to go up instead of down and your clothes still seem to sit too tight on your body. As the weeks progressed you got thinner and thinner but it was in vain, the comments didn't seem to stop.

“You could at least put on makeup, it's no wonder no one wants you.”

So you did. You bought everything your money would allow, foundation, concealer, mascara, contour, a brow pencil and blush. But it didn't matter, you knew that whatever you did it would still be in vain. You would still be the joke of the school. Everyday you hid behind the mask on your face and every time you looked in the mirror as tears streamed down your face you could see how you were slowly fading away.

God why could you never be enough. There was always something wrong with you and the more people said it the more you believed it.

“You’re such a waste of space, you should kill your self no one wants you here anyway.”

They said as one of them bumped their shoulder into yours so hard you were pushed into a locker. Your arm ached as you could feel how tears welled up in your eyes. All eyes were on you, laughing as you ran as fast you could out of there. You could taste the saltiness of the tears upon your cheeks as you ran all the way home. It was all a blur but suddenly you were home, standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. Your mascara smeared over your face as you tried to wipe away your tears. The longer you looked the more flaws you could see and the louder the voices in your head seemed.

“You should do it, you know they’re right.” “Your a disappointment to everyone” “Stop eating your so fat” “KIll youself” “No one wants you here anyway” “Kill yourself, do it”

“Aaahhhhhhhh, stop, stop, stop” You shouted as your knees gave out and you fell hard to the marble floor. Leaning your back against the tub you tucked your knees up to your body making you as small as possible. Resting your head on the top of your knees you finally let yourself let go.

“Please” you whispered as sobbs wrecked your body. You were so tired, so tired. When would it stop, why couldn't they just stop, you never did anything wrong. Maybe they were right, you would be doing everyone a favor anyway. You slowly lifted your head looking through your blurred vision for your razor blades. When you turned your head to the right you saw them laying in the corner of the tub. With shaky hands you slowly picked it up and brought it closer to your face, admiring it for a second.

If you found a big enough vein and made it deep enough maybe it would do the job, maybe. It was as if you were in a trance as you slowly rolled up your sleeves and brought the razor towards your arm. With a deep breath you dragged the blade in a perfectly straight line across your arm. Small pearls of blood slowly started to develop in the wound. One turned into many and the blood started to drip down on your clothes and onto the floor. That's when you seemed to wake up.

“Ahh fuck what did I do, what did I do, what did I do?” You quietly chanted over and over as you wobbly stood up and made your way to the sink. Panik set in the moment you realized the amount of blood you had lost and saw black dots in your vision for a moment. Fumbling with the first aid package in the cabinet above the sink you got out bandaids, bandages and rubbing alcohol.

Your eyes welled up again at the sting from the rubbing alcohol in the wounds blurring your vision once again. Carefully you wrapped your arm with the bandage and secured it with the band aids. Not your finest work but it worked for now. You made your way to your bedroom just wanting to sleep after the shock of what happened.

When you woke up the next day you had a text from an unknown number.

Hey I know this might be weird but I have been failing a few classes and I happen to know that you have really good grades in them and was wondering if you could help me?

-Natasha Romanoff, in your economic class.

That was almost three months ago now. Natasha was known for being the popular girl in school, always has been. You knew it could be a mistake to say yes given that she was also known as one of the school bullies. Which you knew all too well having been at the receiving ends of some of her comments. But what the hell right, it's not like life could get worse.

And it didn't. In the beginning it was quite awkward but it wasn't that bad. As the weeks progressed you and Nastaha got closer and she asked you out. You almost couldn't believe it but you said yes and it was the best thing that had happened to you. Of course in the beginning of the relationship you were weary of her intentions because of the nature of it. But as time passed you trusted her more and started to open up about your struggles with mental health and your ED. And in return she told you about her insecurities about being out to the school because she was afraid of being treated differently.

You helped each other and you told her it was okay to keep your relationship secret when she asked. Of course it hurt to not be able to hold her hand in school and not being able to walk her to class or kiss in the hallways like everybody else. But if that was the price that came with being with her, it was worth it, she was worth it. Your small but memorable moments were what counted.

For example yesterday it was your guys six month anniversary and when you opened the door for her she stood there waiting for you with a big bouquet of flowers. She also got you your favorite chocolate and she gave you a build-a-bear with a massage saying she loved you build into it. You had set up a romantic dinner for you and put the flowers on the table. Now it was your turn to give her your gift and you were nervous as hell for her reaction.

“Ehh so you know i couldn't really afford anything fancy but i remembered how you said a few weeks ago that you liked more personal stuff. So I made you this necklace, it has both our initials and I have a matching one.” you said as you carefully handed it over to her. You couldn't even look at her because you were afraid of her reaction. The silence was defeating. Why didn't she say anything? Maybe she hated it. Maybe she thought it was ugly, I mean it was home made after all. God this was a bad idea.

“Em you don’t have to wear it-”

“No shut up I’m going to wear it forever, I love it” Your eyes looked up at her shimmering with tears. “Really” You said hopgull.

“Yes really” she put her hand under your chin and kissed your lips softly. “I love you so much my darling. You are the most valuable thing in my life and I’ll wear this as a sign of that.”

You still could not let that memory go as you wandered the halls a few days later.

You knew Natasha said she wanted to keep the relationship private because she wasn't out to the school. And while you knew that might have been true you knew now that she finally was out that the real reason was because she was ashamed. She was ashamed of you. She didn't want to be seen with you. You could hear your own heart crack when you realized that. It hurt but you knew you could get past that because she meant that much to you.

You normally wouldn't talk to her in school, per her request, but right now you didnt care as you got closer to her and her friend group. She had taken off her necklace when she showered at your house and forgot to take it with her so you were just going to give it back. In and out, a quick exchange, barely any words needed.

You could see how her friends sent you weird looks as they realized you were coming in their direction but Nat hadn't noticed you yet.

“Oh look who it is, the freak” they all laughed and Natasha turned towards you. Her eyes immediately widened and you could see the panicked expression spread on her face.

“What the hell do you want?” Came from one of her friends but you just ignored them.

“Emm N-nat you forgot this at home” you said as you slowly inched your hand closer to her showing the necklace. She watched you with a weary expression.

“And why would I want to have that” she said with a serious tone as her friends laughed at her comment and you slowly drew your hand back in shame.

“I would never wear something as ugly as that, it's even uglier than you” this time she laughed along with her friends. Your eyes filled with tears at the humiliation and hurt as you remembered her promise to you when you gave it to her.

“I guess you're not who I thought you were” was the last thing you said as you turned to run away with tears streaming down your face. Throwing the necklace towards a trash can only missing it by an inch making it fall to the floor. How stupid of you to believe she would ever want you as much as you wanted her.

Part 2 here if you want a happy ending instead

[francis-writes]

Modern!AU Ramsay x reader

Maybe it will be continued. For now some silly au i wrote at 1AM.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You let out a breath. Well, meeting a kinky stranger from internet turned out to be quite a surprise, though maybe not the kind of a surprise you would enjoy.

But after all, what could you expect? You were in a rather bad mood before, so you weren't really picky while scrolling through apps, looking for a parties near or for some stranger eager to fuck you. You just hoped that non-binding, meaningless dicking down from some stranger would help you relax and cheer you up. So when you got a message from someone - 21M, signing as a master_big_dicc - you agreed to meet in two hours, even though he would probably piss you off on any other day. But, you both just wanted to fuck and he was very clear about it in his messages. He also seemed rather kinky - maybe he was just an internet dom, but he kept promising to "make you choke on him", "rip you apart with his dick", "make you crawl and beg like a filthy mutt" etc.

He gave you his address, which perhaps wasn't the safest option. But you packed a pepper gas and sent your location to friend, then left with hope for some good cock.

Now you stood in front of the house, realizing a few facts. The address you got led you to a luxurious villa which - according to the decorative plate - belonged to Roose Bolton, wealthy businessman, owner of company selling skincare products. This was the official part, but you heard that part of his money came from illegal business. If the internet stranger wasn't lying about address, it was either Roose Bolton himself (though claiming to be 21), his son Domeric or...

The door of the residence got opened and you got your answer.

Ramsay Bolton, son of Roose Bolton from some quick side fling. He moved into his father's villa just a few years ago, after being raised by his mother - in much poorer conditions, from what you heard. Well, Roose Bolton wasn't the most caring person, nor father.

You didn't know Ramsay personally, but you occasionally heard about him and his actions. Every once in a while he got arrested and freed, thanks to his father connection. From what people said, he was just typical young hooligan, drinking, getting in fights, just rich enough to get in trouble whenever he hurt someone with a knife.

Now he walked to the gate, yelling at the dogs that were jumping and howling at you since a few minutes. They obediently calmed down and ran away from the fence. You looked at Ramsay when he opened the gate for you. He was at least one head taller than you and quite bulky. You knew what to expect - he didn't sent you his face, but his profile had enough pics of his torso and dick. But you liked fat hairy guys. You were only worried if his body will be able to make you stand his personality for at least next hour.

He had wide pink lips, icy eyes, and long black hair tied in a ponytail. He wore a loose black tshirt with some metal band name on it. Ramsay looked down at you with a smirk, that seemed almost mocking.

"You're here for fucking?"

I shrugged and gave him a small smile.

"If you're master_big_dicc, then yes."

Ramsay chuckled lowly and stepped back, to let me get in.

"Come in. Don't be afraid of my bitches, i trained them well. They won't hurt you without my permission."

I walked in and he lead me through the garden to the door of the house. Without waiting, he reached his arm and grabbed my waist, keeping me close to himself.

"Well, then I hope that you won't give them that permission" i said awkwardly, trying to keep a conversation.

Ramsay just snickered again, as if i were very funny. He pushed me toward the stairs.

"Go, you will take off boots and the rest in my room" he muttered, leaning to me. "My stepmother is downstairs. I don't want her to notice you. She will keep chattering, asking if we're together and offering you cookies, and at least hour will pass before i can fuck you. And i especially didn't jerk off now, to have my dick all ready for you"

We reached his room. It was really messy, perhaps he tried to make it a bit more prepared for me but it meant just throwing all the dirty things in one place. This mess was a weird mix of some trash, cheap collections and expensive brand things. I took off my boots and sat on the bed, looking at the band posters at the wall. It was mostly metal, some punk and some posters announcing raves.

[goddesspharo]

trick or treat!!

[hit me up with ask box trick-or-treats!]

Making the moodboard was apparently not enough to exorcise the idea because I had actually started writing the TGM wedding season AU at some point. Will I ever continue it? Who knows? Here's a snippet:

One could argue that Natasha's insistence on sleeping next to the sole nightstand in the hotel room is the reason that she's jarred awake by "Walking on Sunshine" blasting from Jake's iPhone at two in the morning, but Natasha would argue that only an asshole would leave his ringer on in the first place. She tries to reach up to yank the phone off the charger, but Jake's arm is heavy across her body. If she didn't already start to feel a migraine encroaching on her peace, this might have freaked her out, but Nat is too busy desperately trying to silence his phone to register that the dude who earned the nickname Hangman because of the harem of thirsty women still waiting by their phones for his call is apparently a cuddler once REM sleep takes over. Natasha jams her elbow so hard into his side that it feels dislocated once it bounces off Jake's abs, his two percent body fat doing nothing to cushion the blow. "Are you having a seizure?" Jake groans right before she shoves him off her, grabs his stupid phone, and nearly breaks his nose when she throws it directly at his face. His hand goes up protectively at the last second before he hisses, "What the fuck, Natasha? Be careful with the money-maker!" "If you don't make that stop wailing, you'll never be able to walk again." If she hears Katrina & The Wave drag out that woah one more time, Natasha's going to strangle Jake with the charging cable. Callie would never forgive Nat for ruining her wedding with an inconveniently timed murder, but it would be worth it to extinguish the broad grin that spreads across Jake's face as he looks down at the vibrating phone in his hand. Jake turns it towards her so that Natasha finds herself squinting at the screen. Her vision blurs rebelliously against the bright square in their otherwise dark room before the picture of Bradley playing the piano at The Hard Deck in a hideous Hawaiian shirt dotted with cartoon pineapples comes into sharp focus. The Rooster title card at the top of the screen floats in front of her eyes as her heartbeat traitorously speeds up. "Why is your ex calling me?" Because last week she RSVPed with a plus-one for Pete's wedding and Jake is her plus-one this weekend at this wedding so even someone with remedial math skills can put two and two together? Because if she knows Bob, he called Bradley as soon as the rehearsal dinner was over to give him the scoop? Natasha loves Bob – she really does – but if she were to start a hit list right now, he would be at the very top of it. It should be illegal for well-intentioned people to also be hopeless romantics because it leads to these kinds of complications. She's sure Bob thought that finding out that she had apparently moved on would make Bradley get over his fear of commitment and beg her to take him back. However, what Bob failed to realize is that he could present Bradley Bradshaw with all the tools for happiness and Bradley still wouldn't release his death grip on all the baggage he let guide his bad decisions like a service animal. "Goddammit, Bob," Natasha mumbles under her breath. "Still want me to answer it?" Jake asks cheekily. His smile shines brighter than his obnoxiously loud phone as Natasha jabs the red decline button with her index finger before he does whatever he wants to do anyway. Jake tsks at her, his face twisting into a faux frown as he laments that Rooster's going to think he's ignoring him now. "Shut up," Natasha hisses. Jake doesn't get the chance to remind her that he was sleeping until the hot mess that is her love life woke him up because his phone goes off again four seconds later. Covering her eyes with her forearm, Natasha snaps at Jake to stop being a psychopath and put his goddamn phone on silent like a normal person.

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love:Lin's Rodeo

Never let it be said that Lin May wasn't a woman of her word,I tell you what. But right about now she had to wonder what the Anti-Christ she'd been thinking accepting her daughter's wager. Okay sure maybe call it karma coming back to bite her in the ass or someone's idea of a joke but she hadn't expected she'd lose. But here she was now, time to pay the piper as they say.

Right so context because it's key and king, it was once again time for the annual Harvest Moon festival which of course meant the farms on Wrath were in high gear for the occasion. And for the Goetia himself to grace them with his high classed presence along with his hired security entourage aka her daughter Millie and the rest of her misfit co-workers. Including that stringbean runt who somehow wound up marrying her, And Millie was especially not in any mood for her folks to be questioning her choices, not like they were ones to talk given the whole Striker fiasco. Least she could count on Sally May being civil towards him though Lin could swear there was something about the looks Millie’s sister would give their in-law but maybe she was reading too much into it.

But I digress so Millie had the bright idea to have her mom figuratively out her money where her mouth was by agreeing to a friendly little wager. That being that if Moxxie managed to do well during the harvest moon games then Lin would have to a favour of Millie’s choice and she be damned the little stringbean actually came out on top. Managing to best out Millie’s brothers and putting hi performance from last year to shame which meant it was going to be time for Lin to pay the piper. Now what was the favour she decided on you might ask?

Folks come on if you’ve all been reading this story long enough then you know what Millie chose? But to clarify, yes Millie chose that her mom should have a threesome with her and Moxxie, one night to have her man rock her world!! So here she was using the showers together with Millie at the modest little apartment that was their love nest at Imp city and the farmer gal still couldn’t believe she was still going through with this kinky nonsense. But a bet was a bet and Lin May was a woman of her word especially as this was one time thing and Joe would never know.

Far as Joe knew and the boys knew, she was just paying Millie a surprise visit in the big city, not simply because she had to pay the piper, no sir. But she could swear the look in Sally May's eyes and that smile of hers said she wasn't fooled for a second as that was neither here nor there of course. Not especially when Millie derailed her train of thought by giving her fat apple bottom heart shaped milf ass a slap, making those crimson blood red cheeks jiggle like jelly. Lin shooting her cheeky perv of a daughter a look over her shoulder as she tried to hold down how rather good that sensation had felt, seriously when had her baby girl become such a perv?

Seriously, she'd heard plenty about succubi and other sex demons here and there in Lust as well as the other circles of Hell but Millie seemed to put them to shame somehow. It was more mind boggling than the how and why she had settled down with a guy like Moxxie, okay sure he was easy on the eyes a polite city boy but come on!! But knowing Millie, part of this kinky forfeit was to prove her mama wrong on so many levels and you can bet she was going to get herself a show and some satisfaction. So as soon as the shower was off, mother and daughter stepped out to give themselves a quick dry off before wrapping their towels around their glistening wet bodies to go make some erotic magic with Millie's man.

Moxxie of course sat on the bed naked, save for a blanket covering his manhood shifting nervously and really who could blame him? He was used to Millie's peculiar little kink but seriously a threesome with her own mother? Of course his treacherous dick was already starting to swell and rise at the thought before his wife and her mom graced him with their presence, their modesty maintained only by the towels before they soon dropped them to expose their crimson red nude forms before him. His eyes widening, jaw clenched shut as his shaft was pitching a very visble tent as certain key switches began going off in his brain.

Neither he or Lin were sure when they’d started right into it but next thing either of them knew, the ranch owner milf and her daughter were kneeling on the floor giving Moxxie’s now exposed cock a double team blowjob. Taking turns licking and sucking on his length and girth to which Lin had To say, he was somehow as big of not eben bigger than her own husband!! The sight of such a prime piece of imo meat had pretty ensured any doubts or hesitation, let alone inhibition and shame went right out the damn window as she even found herself making out with Millie, their tongues dancing over the tip of the dick between them. Marking it from head to base and balls with lipstick as their pussies gushed and dribbled with nectar raining don to make growing puddles on the floor.

IT only got more intense once Lin found Moxxie grabbing their horns as he took turns giving each of them a deep, powerful facefuck. His hips jackhammering away as those heavy crimson red balls slapped and smacked their chins, making their drool splutter as his shaft became coated in a heavy coating of it. Lin feeling overwhelmed by the flood of bliss and ecstasy flooding her brain while Millie glsdly welcome this erotic assault, glowing hearts of lust tingling in her eyes as Her man once more asserted his latent alpha male skill of dominance. Knowing that it was only going to get wilder and more fun from here on in.

Which it most certainly did as she watched with mischievous pornographic delight at the sight of her mom riding Moxxie cowgirl style, fittingly enough. The MILF gasping and howling as she bounced her thicc cougar imp booty on his jackhammering shaft, making his twin rEd cheeks clap and jiggle. Before Lin soon found her daughter facing her as the kinky shortstack mounted and sat on her own husband’s face, his no doubt skilled tongue eating her out. All the whole Millie leaned forward to clasp hands tougher with her and press her lips to hers in an intimate, sloppy incest fuelled kiss.

Before !in knew it, she found herself being out through a veritable erotic montage of positions and combinations shifting from one on one to two on one, the former being for when one of them needed to recover and catch their breaths. For a stringbean looking runt, Moxxie had more stamina than some of the beasts back on the ranch! To say nothing of how it felt having Millie eat her out as Moxxie fucked her missionary or her eating Millie out as the secret stud fucked her doggy style. Now her sex life with Joe wasn’t vanilla by any means, after all look how many kids she’s had with the man.

But Christ on a stick was it any wonder Millie seemed to pimp her own man out and have him try to sow wild oats like he was a hell horse being out out to stud? An alpha male like this was too much for one woman to handle so of course why wouldn’t Millie have the kink she does, let alone figure her mom should have a taste? So of course Lin found herself experiencing a whole different level of paradise that she hoped wouldn’t make her too much of an addict. Wouldn’t want Moxxie feeling like he was becoming a homewrecker after all.

Of course with the kind of life and work he lead, Joe wouldn’t be around forever, so who knows if maybe Moxxie was more than willing to provide relief and comfort to his lowly widow of a mother in law? But of course the future was a distant thing and it was just a an idea that came to mind, as Lin found herself laying together in the messed up, sweat and juice stained bed with him and Millie as they basked in the afterglow. The warm light of sunrise brightening up the room after a wild night of a kinky passionate three way that the farm milf was certainly not going to forget for a good while. No doubt just as Millie had planned, the crafty naughty girl….

That was certainly on her mind as she later took the train ride home, that is after a very filing breakfast of waffles after another quick round of fucking. That stud of Millie’s really got some major morning wood that was for sure. Far as Joe and the boys knew, it was just a simple little visit to the city and some bonding time with Millie and her man but as said, given the look Sallie May was giving her? She knew damn well what has happened and it made the girl look forward to her own future visit to the big city, and how sweet it would be….

[shimmerbeasts]

Stalking The Wounded Dog

Following Vi had been a thing of ease.

When an animal was wounded enough, it usually tried to find refuge in some secluded spot where it could bleed out in peace and safe from the leering eyes of predators. Not Vi though. Vi chose to take her wounds and wear them like black paint on her skin, presenting herself for all the leering predators and their salivating jaws as if she was daring them to rip her apart.

While Jinx apparently made a mockery of Zaun's animalism by becoming more than a predator, Vi made a mockery of her heritage by turning her role in the natural order inside out. Vi had not filed down her fangs and claws as Jinx had feared. She had done something worse. She had traded those weapons for bucking hooves and piercing horns. She had made herself a wounded prey animal and she fought with the fear of death against everybody in that ring.

The air in the hall of the underground fighting ring was stale and dusty. The sickly pale green light of lamps installed in the ceiling reminded Jinx of Zaun. Funny how that worked. Ever since her rocket, it seemed some of her home's violence had spilt over into perfect Piltover. The floor had been busted open to expose the rot underneath.

The hall was packed. A sea of people from the lower houses and classes of Piltover. Enforcers, cobblers, traders. All those, who did not have enough money to live in a house of marble and gold. Jinx thought she could even catch sight of the leering, leathery hides of Zaunites with their flashing fangs, rolling tongues and clicking claws. She let herself be pushed forth by the maelstrom, cocooned in a simple greyish-brown hood to conceal her telltale blue bangs and startling purple eyes. The visitors were creating a pooling river from the betting stands over towards the edges of the arena where you could look inside.

Jinx finally reached the betting stand. In a swing sat a yordle with grey skin and sunken, green eyes; his fat, little body was practically trapped in an ugly, bright yellow jacket. Jinx wondered idly if his guts would spill coins as she watched him munch on a few tentacles, riddled with grittle.

"Yes?", he asked.

"Red betting cards", Jinx ordered, her voice quiet and hoarse. She rummaged in her cloak in search of her coin purse and asked idly: "Is it possible to meet the young upstart post-stage?"

The yordle let out a throaty laugh, spit flying in Jinx's face. She remained unmoving, though her nostrils twitched and her lips pulled down.

"You are a fan of our young upstart, eh?", the ringleader said with a slimy grin on his round, bat-like face, "Can see why. That crazy butch has been wiping the competition left and right since she started here. Brought in a nice sum of money."

"In a manner of speaking", Jinx answered the question, "Now can you arrange this or not?"

The yordle shook his head and said: "Sorry, cutie, but normally, we don't do behind-the-scenes meetings. Though maybe I make an exception for you, sweetie. Go all in with something that is worth it. If our violent panther wins, you are free to meet her."

Jinx reached under her cloak again and procured her Zapper pistol. The yordle's eyes went wide. He called: "Oh, that's a fancy gadget you got there, cutie. All in then?" Jinx slammed Zapper on the wood and shoved him in the direction of the yordle. Her voice was like ice as she said: "All in."

The crowd was in uproar as the beginning of the first match drew nearer. Jinx let herself be manoeuvred closer to the edge of the pit. Standing between two other burly men, who almost obscured her from view, a single purple eye stared down at the pit, burning with fever.

The ring leader's voice came over a speaker as he shouted: "Good evening lads and lassies! Welcome to the first round of Piltover's Boxing League! Today we have an exciting match for y'all! Are you ready?" The crowd cheered, whooped and stomped their feet. "In the right corner, we have our defender of the golden belt! Last year's champion! You know him, you love him! Give it up for Thundering Thomas!"

Under a loud roar, a large, muscular man a good two times Vi's size came running into the ring. He only wore a pair of shorts, adorned with the aforementioned golden belt, a heavy leather item, adorned with a giant golden buckle. He had pale blond hair, which looked like he had been struck by lightning once, judging by how weirdly jagged it sat on his head. The man pounded his chest, roaring as loudly as possible while the crowd cheered him on.

Jinx stayed silent, though as the part of the announcement, she was actually here for, came through, she grinned wily. "And in the left corner, we have his challenger! You were just as surprised by her upstart as I was! Give a hearty welcome to the newest and most vicious member of our ring! Don't let her claws hit you. Here is Tigress!"

Excited thrills and whistles could be heard. Someone very drunk in the back row yelled: "Please go out with me!" Jinx gave a derisive snort, however, she gave a hearty clap, her rhythm a similar pattern to the slow clap, Silco had done in the cannery so many years ago. As the yordle prepared to bang the gong, shouting for bets, Jinx merely raised her hand with cold confidence, flashing one of the few red cards in the entire room. She fell silent, purple gaze locked exclusively on Vi as the gong rang in her ears.

@ferinehuntress

[thekats]

Nothing to bring you back down just as you're clawing your way out of a hole like a good old-fashioned realisation that you still have a ways to go to deconstruct oppressive systems that were planted in your brain at the ripe age of "no thoughts yet".

(Very long post on internalised fatphobia below)

I've been working hard to deconstruct internalised fatphobia (among other things). I've been trying every which way to love and find the beauty in my own shape ('average' weight, curvy build). I've been gently inserting and steering conversation to the best of my abilities towards body positivity. I've been reprimanding friends and family for repeating tropes and notions. And strike me with lightning right now if I don't love bigger bodies. On other people.

And I've been fighting that last tidbit so hard for so long. I like to think that if I were, truly, fat, I'd embrace it, but that I'm so insecure right now bc I'm this weird in-between where, if I show off my body, people will think I think I'm thin enough to fit the beauty standard (I am not). Me wearing a crop top does not feel like a statement so much as it feels like I'm petulantly trying to make people see that "I AM thin!!!!!" My belly isn't flat. My belly isn't toned. I'm so used to sucking it in that I've developed this weird issue where I frequently fully forget to breathe.

I am a binge eater. I've been fighting that for a very long time as well. I also have (now hopefully permanently dormant) hyperthyroidism and currently no-money-itis. I default to around 80kg give or take at a whopping 1,78m height. I'm the average's average, it seems like. And I honestly can't tell anymore if my issues with my body fat are because society and bullying have destroyed my perception of myself so much that I'm seeing things in the mirror, or if I just genuinely hate myself and the social consequences of fatness so much that I have to obsessively criticise every lump and bump on my bones. Or maybe I'm just that obsessed with clinging to every bit of control I think I have left in my life? I am not fat; I know that. I do not experience the daily struggles of fat people; I know that. Trust me, my mum is fat and has been my entire life. I know.

But when a work colleague asked me today if I'd lost weight, I was instantly sent into a shutdown, at work (luckily my shift today is working solo, but I still have to interact with people), because I had too many reactions all at once. None of them was pride.

You see, I've been battling with myself for weeks now if I can wear a crop top to my local pride event this year. I've worn a crop top for the first time in probably a decade only a few weeks ago and I felt great, sexy, comfortable, until I sat down with my very thin friend at an ice cream parlour. It had been my idea and my treat bc I hadn't "spoiled" myself to ice cream in a looong time when it is one of my favourite foods. The ice cream was good, the weather was warm, and there were people who were barely paying us attention but simultaneously seemed to be staring me into becoming a black hole. And I know paranoia is another one of my issues, but you can't deny the fact that people love to stare especially at those they consider in any way "unsightly". I felt like they must have considered me unsightly. Particularly when my friend is all thin and flat and narrow, even when sitting down, she's conventionally attractive and gets hit on. I get hit on, too, but I don't see that in those moments. I remarked proudly that day "I am wearing a crop top!" and she answered "I am wearing a crop top, too." It made me angry because, I thought, "Yes, but your thinness is not policed like my potentially perceived thickness." Neither her nor I have any actual say in our weights. She can't gain, I can neither gain nor lose. That's okay. It really really is. For other people.

I've seen so many beautiful fat queers at pride events over the years. I am not them. I cannot be them because I am not fat. So I still don't know if I can wear a crop top to my local pride event this year because it won't look like a statement. It will look like a desperate plea to be considered thin.

Another big thing my mind cycled through so very instinctual was "if my colleague noticed me losing weight and I have such issues with how 'big' I look now, then how big must I have been the last time she saw me? And I didn't even realise? How big am I now without realising it?!" Mind you, I've lost this incredibly huge amount of 4kg in however-many months /s. Yes, I can do my belt tighter by one, but scrunches up the waist of my trousers and it's uncomfortable/overstimulating, making me suck in my belly even more than I'm already trying not to do. But there's no change for my colleague to see, really. There shouldn't be.

The last big thing that went through my mind at the question was a mix of anger and frustration. Anger because why? Why would you comment on my weight? Why is that a thing you do? Just why? And frustration because it was 7am, I was already entering the shutdown and so had 0 energy to get into my spiel about why she shouldn't be asking that, why she shouldn't comment on that and why she is playing into the whole systematic- I just said "I don't know, maybe, I don't care."

"I don't care."

For two hours now and for the rest of the day at least, I have felt and will continue to feel shame. Not because I lied. I'm a high-ranking autistic who desperately wants to be an actor. I lie all the time. Being me is the biggest, most intricately detailed role I will play in my entire life. No, I am ashamed because

clearly

I do care. So much.

I've done all this work for years and I still fall short of my own damn self.

But, without wanting to turn this into a bs forced-positivity ✨keep going and everything will be alright✨ kind of inspo-post, I won't back down because of this. I feel deflated, disappointed, deterred. But not defeated.

Setbacks are normal.

Society is a sneaky snake and the roots of those seeds it plants run deep. You probably don't need a white person to tell you this (or maybe you do, but that's another, very frustrating topic), but you won't dismantle all this shit you want to fight within yourself in a year. Not when it's been growing inside you your whole life. And you will hit walls. In others. In society. In yourself. If nothing else can motivate you to stick with it, let pettiness do that job for you. Society right now is still fucked. It will stay fucked for both our lifetimes. Show it the middle finger. Be part of the change for generations to come.

Just because we have to suffer now, doesn't mean everyone has to suffer in generations to come.

This goes for all intersectional matters ever.

[therealieblog]

Soft Dieting

I had to boot someone from my Intuitive Eating group yesterday for promoting when I’m going to call “soft dieting”. 

She hailed herself as an Intuitive Eating coach, and promised to help people “stop obsessing over food and fitness.” 

There were red flags of course. I watched a Ted Talk she did, which was actually fantastic. It was all about fatphobia and how it intersects with social justice. How some people just don’t have access to healthy food or expensive gyms and how we have to look at our attitudes toward health and fatness. All really good stuff. 

Except in the group, she keeps posting, encouraging people to participate in “healthy behaviors outside of weight”. OK. Fine. The thing is, there are red flags. 

1. During her Ted Talk, she discussed how she used to be obsessed with dieting and weight loss. But how she got over that, and learned to love herself and stopped restricting. Only she’s still thin. So, you were starving yourself for years, and then you stopped starving yourself, and your body stayed at the same exact weight? Maybe she put on five pounds, but when I hear about someone having severe issues with eating, then stopping the behaviors that were keeping them at a low weight, and then they stay at a low weight.... I doubt that they actually did give up dieting. 

2. She looks perfect. From her perfect hair to her perfect makeup, perfect clothes. Her photo is on her blog. She needs people to know how attractive she is as a sales technique, and I seriously doubt she’s somehow sloughed off society’s expectations of her looks if she still looks like a model. 

3. The emphasis on “healthy behaviors”. I get it. We can all pursue health without dieting. I agree with that. But if you’re claiming to be over healthism, why do you keep talking about it? Why are you posting lists of “healthy activities that don’t involve food.” that include the amount of water you should drink in a day, the hours of movement you should aim for. If you use numbers in your advice about health, you’re still stuck in healthism. You still believe that a certain amount of exercise/sunlight/water etc. is optimal and promotes health. 

She needs to learn that everyone is different, and that when you’re in a group full of people who’ve just stopped dieting, or who are still trying to break free of dieting, this focus on gently pursuing health by telling people they should drink this much water, or get at least this much movement per day, is pretty damaging. 

These issues are so subtle, and I don’t expect anyone who even has a toe in diet culture to understand, but we are all free to pursue health in our own way, or to NOT PURSUE HEALTH AT ALL. The not at all part clearly didn’t sit well with her. She clearly still thinks that in order to be good, you need to be pursuing health. He whole business is built on it. Because if you aren’t promoting health, then you have no business. There’s nothing to sell. There’s very little money in “Take a walk if that makes you happy, and if you don’t like walking, just... don’t.” And way more money in “you should really be doing *something* for your health at all times, even if it’s gentle and subtle”

Anyhoo. I’ll get down off my soap box, but I really wanted to talk about how deeply insidious this “Soft Dieting” is for a community of people trying to dismantle diet culture. How swiftly it can nose dive back into dieting behaviors as you worry that you haven’t moved enough, or drank enough water to be considered healthy. Don’t fall for it. You do what’s best for your body, regardless of the opinions of fake IE blogs. 

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

<< Beginning < Prev. || AO3

Chapter 33: August 2000

This will be the third year in the row they’ve done this, but the first they don’t have to sneak away to do it. Not that there’s anything wrong with where they’re going, exactly, except that they probably aren’t technically old enough to do this on their own, but the bigger issue is Gerard doesn’t usually ask his mother for the money ahead of time. She hasn’t noticed yet—or said anything if she has—but it’s still a risk. Honestly, that adds to the thrill of it.

But he doesn’t have to this year. He’s developed a knack for spotting rare books that aren’t…the sort his mother trades in…and discovered, to his mild surprise, that he’s also quite good at selling them at a profit, and he’s saved up enough that he doesn’t have to rob the till to make up the difference. So this year, rather than stay out all night the night before and meet Melanie and Martin once they’ve found a suitable excuse to slip out and join him, Gerard boldly knocks on the door of the house they’ve all been living in for the last year, and when Uncle Roger answers with a benevolent smile, he asks if Martin and Melanie can come with him for the day.

“Yes, I think you’re old enough to be responsible,” Uncle Roger says, which Gerard tries very hard not to resent, and lets him in to go get the other two.

An hour later they’re ensconced in a compartment on a train, breathless with laughter and also a little bit of exertion, considering they cut it pretty close and only just made it onto the 8:58 before it pulled out of the station, but that’s part of the fun of it. Gerard leans back in his seat and takes a moment to study Martin and Melanie—he and his mother have been out of the country for the last three months, so he hasn’t seen them. Melanie’s hair has grown out long enough that it brushes her shoulders, but she’s cut her bangs into a rather flattering asymmetrical sweep across her brow, and she’s had her ears pierced. Martin has new glasses, the lenses thicker than last year’s, and he’s switched from plastic to steel rims, but the eyes behind them sparkle with delight. They’ve obviously been spending a lot of time outside in the sun—Melanie’s neck and shoulders are reddish-pink and Martin’s face is so freckled you almost can’t see the skin underneath—and they look…good.

At the same time, there’s something a little off about both of them, and Gerard can’t figure out exactly what it is.

“Are you going to tell us where we’re going this year?” Martin asks. “Or is it a surprise?”

“Liverpool,” Gerard says. Martin’s face lights up. “So we’ve got a bit under three hours to catch up. I want to hear what you two have been up to while I’ve been gone.”

Melanie immediately launches into a description of exams and end-of-term parties, of imaginary games played in Regent’s Park and hidden corners of London explored. Martin nods along and occasionally puts in a word here or there, but doesn’t contribute until Melanie prompts him and he shyly admits he’s started learning to row.

“I thought it might…you know. Help,” he says, gesturing at his body. “But it’s not.”

“You’re not built like that.” Gerard’s education has been more skewed towards the esoteric and the paranormal than the practical, so it’s not like he has scientific knowledge to back him up, but the fact of the matter is that Martin has always been, not to put too fine a point on it, fat. He doesn’t overeat—he doesn’t starve himself, either, Melanie and Gerard won’t let him—and he’s walked more of the city than the other two put together. He’s also strong for his age, frequently hauling boxes of books around the shop for Gerard’s mother and lifting both Melanie and Gerard up to high places with hardly a thought, and now the rowing. But he’s still fat, so as far as Gerard is concerned, that’s how he’s made and that’s how he’s going to stay. Either that or he’s going to be twelve feet tall by the time he’s sixteen. He also knows it doesn’t usually bother Martin unduly that he is fat. “Has your mum been giving you crap about it again?”

“Maybe a little,” Martin admits. “I do enjoy rowing, though. I’m good at it. And it’s…nice to be good at something that isn’t…that.”

The temperature in their compartment drops a couple of degrees. Gerard’s stomach lurches as he realizes that Martin and Melanie have talked about everything but the shop. It’s not open quite the same number of hours when Gerard and his mother are out of town, but Aunt Lily is still there twice a week, and it being summer Martin at least has almost surely been helping, but Melanie didn’t mention it and neither has Martin.

“Have you…found any more of…his books?” Gerard can’t bring himself to say Jurgen Leitner’s name. His hatred and resentment of the man, and his books, have been growing steadily over the past few years. “Or books of power?”

“N-no,” Martin says, but there’s something uncertain in his voice. Gerard looks at him until he caves and admits, “Not books.”

Gerard’s stomach does another somersault. “What happened?”

Martin takes a deep breath. “I—it was a person. At the end of term concert, someone bumped into me and my glasses fell off, and I—when I looked up, I-I swear I didn’t mean to, but I saw—h-he was, he’d been touched. And then he came to the shop a couple weeks later, a-and he recognized me.” He rubs his cheek in a seemingly unconscious gesture. “He had a book to sell and, and he asked if getting rid of it would make everything stop, and he got so mad when I said I didn’t know…”

“It—it probably won’t, but—that’s not your fault,” Gerard stammers, staring at Martin. “Wait, what do you mean you could see he’d been touched?”

Martin blinks at Gerard. “I mean he had the same…like the books. It’s, the books aren’t magic, Gerry, they’re just…full of the Fourteen. That’s what I see when I look at them. I thought you knew that.”

“I guess it just never occurred to me.” Gerard looks at Melanie. “Did you know that?”

Melanie frowns at him. “Yes? I’ve known that since we had our eye exams at school last year and he told me to mind my manners because the bloke doing them had something to do with the Flesh.”

Gerard turns back to Martin. “How could you tell that?”

“They’re all different colors,” Martin says. What of his skin isn’t freckled turns pink. “S-sorry, I—I forget sometimes you two can’t see them too. The, the touches or—I don’t know what to call them.”

Melanie folds her arms over her chest. “I’ve tried. I can’t make myself see them. You think there’s like a carrot or something that makes it easier to see that the Fears have been somewhere?”

“That’s a myth. The whole thing about carrots making your eyesight better, I mean.”

Gerard nods, but doesn’t tell Melanie the truth—that she doesn’t want Martin’s ability. It’s been bestowed upon him by the Ceaseless Watcher, and gifts from the Fourteen always come with strings attached, really nasty ones usually. At this point, the best he can do is just protect his brother and sister as much as he can and hope nothing ever pulls on those strings.

“Are they at least nice colors?” Melanie asks, slumping down in her seat so she can prop her feet on the cushions opposite. “I mean, as much as anything about the Fears can be nice.”

“They’re not…awful,” Martin says slowly. “Well, the Corruption is kind of a nasty shade, but…”

All right, Gerard has to admit he’s curious. He checks to make sure the compartment door is shut. “How’d you figure out what colors were what?”

“Aunt Mary always tells Mum what Fear the books belong to, so I figured it out that way.”

“Which one’s your favorite?” Melanie asks. Gerard shoots her a filthy look and she sticks her tongue out at him. “Look, if he has to see bright glowing colors of things that hate us, at least there must be one that doesn’t suck to look at.”

“The Lonely isn’t too bad,” Martin says softly. “It’s grey, and it’s…softer, I guess? It doesn’t glow as bright.”

“There’s a shocker,” Gerard mutters. He pats down the pockets of his oversized leather trench coat—he’ll grow into it eventually, he hopes—and comes up with a stub of a pencil and a crumpled bit of paper. It’s better than nothing, so he smooths it out on his knee. “Right, let’s get these written down.”

He prints the names of all fourteen Fears in a neat list, then writes GREY next to LONELY before winking at Martin. “I know you know them all already, but just in case one of us starts seeing them too. And I kind of want to start integrating them into my art, if that’s okay.”

Martin brightens a bit. “That’d be cool.”

“What was the first one you figured out?”

“The Web, only ‘cause Aunt Mary said that book I found at Bergen’s that first time was the Web, and I remembered it. It’s purple…a royal purple, like the ribbons Mum had tied around her bouquet at the wedding.” Martin waits for Gerard to write that down. “Then the End—that one’s easy because of the Book. It’s white.”

“Is the Dark black?” Melanie asks. “Or is that too obvious?”

“Um, it’s kind of a very dark blue. It’s almost black, but not quite. Not like the Vast, that’s a brighter blue like the sky.” Martin screws up his face like he’s trying to remember. “The Slaughter’s red, really bright red, like blood. The Desolation is orange like fire, and the Hunt is, it’s somewhere in between? It’s hard to explain. I get it mixed up with the Slaughter sometimes,    but I can usually tell after a while.”

“Slow down, slow down, I can’t write that fast.” Gerard presses the paper to the door in hopes of getting better leverage with the paper. After a moment he says, “Okay, got it so far. What have we got left?”

“The Stranger, the Buried, the Flesh, the Corruption, the Spiral, and the Eye,” Melanie says promptly. “You said the Corruption was nasty?”

Martin makes a face. “Yeah. It’s this…it’s like snot, o-or pus. Kind of a yellowish-green. It, it looks sick. The Flesh is pink, but it’s pink like salmon mousse is pink. Not like, like roses or whatever.”

“Makes sense,” Gerard mutters. He pauses as the train rattles over a point, then finishes the word PINK. “The Buried?”

“Brown—well, kind of a brownish-tan really. The Spiral is yellow. A really bright yellow, most times. It hurts my eyes.” Martin looks down at his hands. “The Stranger, um, I’m not sure about that one, actually. I-I don’t think Aunt Mary has any books from the Stranger? I’ve kind of been looking, but…”

Gerard scowls, but not at Martin. “Don’t invite that sort of thing into your life, Martin. If you ever see something that’s the Stranger, you’ll know because it’s not the same color as the others.” He draws a question mark next to STRANGER. “That just leaves…the Ceaseless Watcher.”

“Green,” Martin says promptly. “The same color as the stones in those earrings of your mum’s, and my mum’s wedding ring.”

Gerard finishes writing and smooths out the list against his knee. “Okay. I think I’ve got them all.” He contemplates the list. “Honestly, except for the Corruption, this doesn’t look too bad. If you didn’t know what they were, it’d be almost…pretty.”

“Like those recordings they show people in Soylent Green just before they recycle them into food bars,” Melanie mutters. “Too bad I can’t just stop wearing all those colors as a fuck-you to the Fourteen.”

Martin laughs. It sounds a little forced to Gerard. “They wouldn’t be so bad, maybe, if they didn’t glow. But I’m not kidding, they hurt my eyes sometimes. Especially when…I dunno if some books are stronger than others, but sometimes it’s bright.” He touches his glasses lightly. “I wonder if that’s why I keep needing thicker glasses. Because looking at the light from the Fears hurts my regular eyes.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” Gerard isn’t actually sure about that, but he speaks with authority anyway. “Like you said, you’re not looking with, well, your regular eyes. They’re probably going…dormant or something when you’re Looking. If you need thicker glasses, it’s just because your eyes are changing, but that happens with loads of people.”

Melanie cocks her head at Gerard. “So you’re saying he’s fine? That he’s not eventually going to, I dunno, get to the point where his mortal eyes don’t work anymore and the only way he can see is to navigate by the glow of the Fourteen and hope there’s nothing around that hasn’t been touched by them in some way for him to run into?”

She’s too smart for her own damn good, Gerard thinks, and the picture she paints is a bleak one that is, unfortunately, all too possible. He’s hoping it won’t get that far, though, since they know what’s going on and can take steps to mitigate the damage, so he fixes her with what he hopes is a withering glare. “Who ever heard of something like that?”

“Isn’t that the entire plot of Daredevil?” Melanie shoots back.

The conversation derails from there into a spirited debate on whether the Fears exist in the comic book universe and whether Matt Murdock belongs to the Beholding or the Corruption, and by the time the conductor announces they’re pulling into Lime Street Station, Martin and Melanie have gone back to being excited about their day trip. Gerard hasn’t forgotten about the talk about Martin’s eyes, though, and he vows to himself that he’s going to look into it, that he’s going to find out how much danger Martin is actually in from his ability and what it might mean for him, and for the rest of them.

Not today, though. Today he’s going to enjoy the day out and hope like hell they don’t run into anything more dangerous than a persistent seagull.

“Come on, birthday boy,” he says, looping his arm through Martin’s and nodding for Melanie to do the same on the other side. “Where do you want to start off?”

[ireceived-p8250000]

March 24-30 2013

It's Holy week. We also have electricity bills that are enaring to be oaid. But we can pay alter after the due date.

I was planning of going to a vacation alone but that's fine. I got my passport but where will 5k get me.

It's really crazy.

I asked Mansoor what he will be doing. He said just family gatherings. I asked if he can take me to the beach because I haven't been there ever since my parents don't ever allow me.

He said, okay.

"I don't have enough money though."

"I'll answer for it "

"Huwag I cat let you do that."

"Pay me back it's okay."

I wasn't concentrating in class anymorem Tuesday, we presented our culminating activity. And there are photos of us together with Mansoor again wit the kids.

"Uy, bagay!" Said the others.

"Next!" I said.

By Wednesday, Roxanne arrived already. Tina is also here and we kinda fought because of my attitude.

Psych Stat was doing PSS applications. So we learned that. The girls don't like Regine and avoiding her because of her negativity towards everything. She literally bring stormy clous over at anyone.

I asked a day off for tomorrw just in case we don't return in time.

"Ano, we don't have budget for like a room. There's just a parang covered for our things. Then may CR naman per may fee."

"Okay, that sfood enough for me." I said.

We plan to go by Friday. He has some family thing Thursday. I think his parents are quite good and fine. His siblings too.

Thursday, I just spent the time doing chores in the morning, then went out to the hill station cafe to edit videos before I go to my work. I do some studying too especially for stats.

I cooked food a night before. Just some fruits.

Then Friday morning at 5am, I met up with him at the bus station. We bought Jollibee foods. I'm really feeling fluttered wit him sitting together wit me.

"You know you get to know a person better when you travel together." I said.

"Test ba to?"

"Sinasabi ko lang."

The trip was just about an hour. We went down and flagged down a trike.

And we were lucky to catch the sunrise. I took a lot of photos. And photos of him. By 8, the sun is shining. I changed and wore a bikini bra and sports shorts. I'm wearing some light coverup underneath since I don't want to show my whole body with some distributed fats all over.

I saw him looking and was shyung away. He really is a good person.

He taught me how to swim but I gave up almost immediately.

"Bahala ka pag tinapon ka sa dagat." He said.

The sun was torture in the morning. Good hing he lent me a cap. We walked around and he answered for my food and drinks.

We swam a bit more but we are just on the sand talking and having jokes. Then taking photos. We had a quiet time as we both read after lunch. At 2, we showered. Separatelynoff course and ready to go back.

We caught a bus back home at 3. So tired so I slept on his shoulder. He allowed me to sleep on his lap since I also brought like a small pillow.

We reached the city at 5 and had coffee at Luisa's first. Then walked somewhere behind SM just to watch he sunm it's corny romantic sure but tis beautiful.

I went home at 7. The mother and daughters are still there. Tina slept in Ran's room and Keisha too.

Tina was talking to me but I shut the door.

I slept and wke up hours later and did some video edits. I asked Mansoor if he's okay to let me upload some photos. He said it's okay but warned me that we will get teased a lot for it.

So I just picked the ones that subtly shows him. I have him copies. All of it. Except the ones I look ugly in off course.

I started blogging again. Then sketching.

I slept late and woke up late Saturday. Just did chores and later went out to town and studied at a cafe.

Then I headed to work. We have a lot of customers aoaprenytly

March 24-30, 2013Sunday, March 24It's Holy Week, and I'm juggling paying electricity bills and planning a potential solo vacation. However, with only ₱5,000, it's challenging to figure out where I could go. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, I asked Mansoor what his plans were. He mentioned family gatherings, so I asked if he could take me to the beach since my parents never allowed me to go.

He agreed.

"I don't have enough money, though," he told me.

"I'll cover it," I said said.

"Huwag, I can't let you do that."

"Pay me back, it's okay," I insisted.

Monday, March 25

I was distracted in class, thinking about the upcoming beach trip. We presented our culminating activity, and there were photos of me and Mansoor with the kids. "Uy, bagay!" the others teased. I brushed it off, saying, "Next!"

Tuesday, March 26

Roxanne arrived, and Tina was here too. We had a fight over my attitude. In Psych Stat, we learned about PSS applications. The girls are avoiding Regine due to her constant negativity. I asked for a day off tomorrow just in case we didn't return in time."Ano, we don't have a budget for a room. There's just a covered area for our things and a CR with a fee," Mansoor informed me."Okay, that's good enough for me," I replied.

Wednesday, March 27Mansoor had a family event today, so I spent the morning doing chores and then went to Hill Station Cafe to edit videos before work. I also studied for stats. I cooked some food the night before, mainly fruits.

Thursday, March 28I spent the day doing chores and editing videos. I also prepared for our beach trip by packing my bag and getting everything ready.

Friday, March 29At 5 AM, I met Mansoor at the bus station. We bought Jollibee food, and I felt butterflies with him sitting next to me. "You know you get to know a person better when you travel together," I said."Is this a test?" he joked."Sinasabi ko lang."The trip took about an hour. We flagged down a trike and caught the sunrise, taking lots of photos. By 8, the sun was shining brightly. I changed into a bikini bra and sports shorts with a light coverup. I saw Mansoor glancing at me shyly. He really is a good person.He tried teaching me how to swim, but I gave up almost immediately. "Bahala ka pag tinapon ka sa dagat," he teased.The sun was harsh in the morning, but he lent me a cap. We walked around, and Mansoor covered my food and drinks. We swam a bit more, then sat on the sand talking and joking, taking more photos. After lunch, we had quiet time reading. At 2, we showered separately and got ready to go back.We caught a bus home at 3, and I slept on his shoulder during the ride. He let me sleep on his lap with a small pillow I brought. We reached the city at 5 and had coffee at Luisa's before walking behind SM to watch the sunset. It was corny romantic, but beautiful.I got home at 7. Tina, Keisha, and the mother were still there. Tina tried talking to me, but I shut the door. I slept for a few hours, then woke up to do some video edits. I asked Mansoor if he was okay with me uploading some photos. He agreed but warned we’d get teased a lot. I picked ones that subtly showed him and gave him all the copies, except the ones I looked ugly in.I started blogging again and sketched a bit. I stayed up late.

Saturday, March 30I woke up late, did chores, and then went to town to study at a cafe. Later, I headed to work, which was busy with many customers.

[magictophatcat]

My Hazbin hotel oc fic, Ash of Greed. first chapter.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

In a dark room illuminated by the faint light of scented candles there sat a young looking lady with fair skin, dark green hair wrapped into a ponytail and green eyes wearing glasses staring at the darkness with a sad expression. "Hello there, darkness, my familiar; do you see my fate, how peculiar." She sang in a beautiful whisper as her green eyes shined in the darkness of the room. "Do you remember...the days where I had it all? Where I would fight and my smile wouldn't fall? Where I had my family, my friends through the rides to aaall the ends? Oh how I never would've thought, the best life one could lead...would rot and fall so deep...into greeeee-."

"GOOD MORNING, ASHLEY!" Said a fat clown with green eyes as he burst into the room with a large smile, turning on the lights and causing the young lady to groan before flashing a forced smile. "How's my little girl doing today?"

"Heyyyy,...*gulp* dad." Ashley said before a chill ran down her spine from her own words as her father walked towards her. "How's...all this going?" She asked gesturing towards all of her father.

"Great! I'm making money, fizzies are selling-" He said happily with a giant smile as his head was filled with thoughts of money before he turned to his daughter. "And all the accounting you've been doing is saving me even more money! I should get you your own fizzie as a prize or something!"

"Mammon, no!" Exclaimed Ashley in disgust as she shrunk away from her father on the verge of vomiting before the giant clown demon gasped in shock.

"Hey hey hey, little lady. You call me dad." Replied Mammon with a deep disappointed frown as he put his hands on his hips. "Y'know, it's tough being a single father. I mean, I created you from my own flesh. Do you know how painful that was, Ashley? It was really painful." He added hugging his uncomfortable looking daughter. "Do I have to pull out the video again?"

The girl struggled to keep the urge to retort before she spoke with a frown. "Sorry...dad." she muttered through grit teeth as she avoided eye contact before Mammon picked her up and spun her around cheerfully.

"That's my bloody legend! See you at breakfast!" Exclaimed Mammon before teleporting away in an explosion of green smoke and the sound of cash registers. Ashley coughed as she waved away the smoke before sighing.

"Reincarnation is a b**ch." She muttered to herself as she placed her hands firmly on her face. "Had to be that one show...two shows. Had to be hell. Had to be as a demon. Had to be Mammon's." She groaned with a growl before she heard a squeak from her lap where a small mouse sat happily, causing Ashley to smile. "At least you're here with me, Cheese." She said before she got off her bed, put out the scented candles and headed out of her room.

As she walked down the stairs, she could see several robot fizzies doing chores around the palace. "47? Did we get more?" She muttered, counting them Fizzies in an instant. She walked by them humming nonchalantly before she heard the sound of glass breaking above her. Startled, she quickly looked up to see something falling to her location. In a panic, she quickly jumped out of the way. She quickly turned to see what had nearly flattened her to see a body of what seemed to be a female imp laying perfectly flat on their face. The imp quickly sprung back up to their feet with a giant grin.

"Heh! Soon enough all of Mammon's money will be mine!" Said the imp lady happily before she locked eyes with the princess of greed who was sitting on the floor. "Uhhh-"

"Fuck, not again." Muttered the princess of greed pinching the bridge of her nose tiredly as her teeth suddenly grew sharper.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Said the imp as her grin grew twofold. She approached Ashley step by step making sure her weapon is locked onto the princess's head. "You're gonna-" the imp froze, feeling a sting in the back of her neck. She noticed something coming out from behind the princess, a massive scorpion tail coming from Ashley's lower back and its stinger was lodged deep into the back of her neck.

Green veins spread all across the body of the imp before she immediately fell flat on her face as the light started draining out of her eyes. "Fuck." Ashley cursed before she rummaged through her pockets until she pulled out a syringe and stabbed it into the imp's shoulder. The green veins quickly dissipated and returned to normal, prompting Ash to sigh in relief before a furious look over took her face. She sucked in as much air as she could muster before yelling out. "DAD! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!"

The sin of greed appeared in an explosion of green smoke and the sound of cash registers next to his daughter with a grin. "Holy shit! Another one?" He asked cheerfully. "At this rate, we'll need another pile!" He exclaimed nonchalantly, causing a vein to pop on Ashley's forehead.

"Don't fucking call it that! It's a fucking shelter!" The princess of greed snapped as the whites of her eyes turned black, her head grew antennas and her mouth grew insect mandibles.

"Chill out. It's just a place where I throw the people YOU permanently crippled." Replied Mammon nonchalantly as he picked up the crippled imp by the arm and wiggled them around like a noodle.

"Look, I don't give two flying fucks what happens to ANYONE in this extra godforsaken ring of hell. BUT! I don't want murder weighing in on my conscience!" Exclaimed the princess of greed in frustration. "CLEAR?"

"Not really." Replied the sin of greed in confusion with a shrug. "I don't get how getting rid of a bunch of bodies would relieve ya of murder." He said placing his hands on his wide hips.

Ashley froze. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" She asked, zoning out as the gears in her head went into overdrive. "Dad, you've been taking care of the people I sent you, right?" She asked firmly as she glared at her father.

"Yep, took care of 'em." Replied Mammon nonchalantly.

"Taking." Commented Ashley staring Mammon in the eye. "You mean TAKING, right?" She asked in a voice tainted by desperation, her form returning back to normal as she watched her father's expression closely only to find confusion on his face. "Oh my god, what have I done?" She muttered in horror before bile rose up to her throat, causing her to gag and almost vomit.

"Killed a few hundred demons. I don't see the problem here." Replied Mammon pulling his daughter in for a hug before Ashley quickly struggled out of his grasp, causing the deadly prince to scowl. "Hey! You don't act like-"

"No! I'm done humoring your little games! I'm done!" Snapped Ashley angrily as she glared at her father, causing the sin to growl. "I quit!" She yelled, causing lime colored lightning to crackle around her father's body.

"What did you just say?" Asked Mammon, anger clear on his face as he leaned towards his daughter's face menacingly.

"You heard me you overweight second rate jester! I'M LEAVING!" Snapped Ashley angrily.

"What do you mean "leaving"?" Asked Mammon an angry scowl as he towered over his daughter. "You're my daughter! I FUCKING MADE YOU FROM MY OWN FUCKING FLESH! YOU OWE ME EVERYTHING! I COULD'VE THROWN YOU ON THE STREETS ANY DAY!"

"I don't owe you shit! The only reason I tolerated your miserable existence is because I had nowhere else to go!" Exclaimed Ashley angrily as she glared at her father with a firm stance. "But now? Now I have options. And I'm leaving!" She declared before she stomped her way towards the front door of the palace.

"YOU BETTER GET BACK HERE OR ELSE-"

"Else what?" Replied Ashley with a smug smile as a small mouse, Cheese peeked out from behind her neck. "You won't know where I am anyways." Mammon's eyes widened before the sin dashed towards his daughter in a maddened state before Ashley disappeared in a puff of green smoke.

Realizing what just happened, Mammon growled and huffed and puffed as the palace cracked like brittle glass in his presence. But there was nothing he could do.

xxxxxXxxxxx

The pride ring, the ring of hell where the scum of humanity gather only to be slaughtered mercilessly by the angelic exterminators and the perfect place for a runaway to blend in and find a new life....or not.

"Dang it, Cheese! I forgot to take some money with me!" Exclaimed the Princess of greed in despair as she walked through the streets of the ring of pride with her pet mouse. "We're really in for it now!" Cheese squeaked anxiously as he brushed his heard against Ashley's neck. "Don't worry, I'll find a job. I have lot of talents. I mean, have you ever seen a draw up a bar graph of the cost efficiency of cereal brands to find the most value cereal on the market so quickly?" Cheese squeaked in confusion, prompting Ash to groan. "I know it sounds greedy, but it's HYPERefficient-"

Suddenly, Ashley bumped into a someone and fell to the ground. "Hey, watch it!" Yelled the demon she bumped into angrily.

"Sorry." She said getting back onto her feet and dusting her clothes with her hands before the demon leans in towards her, causing her to take a step back with a forced smile.

The demon let out a sickening smile. "Hey, maybe you could pay me back for the damage." He said before he reached out to the princess of greed.

Ashley stepped back uncomfortably for a few seconds hoping to avoid a fight before a lightbulb lit up in her head. "OH MY GOSH, IT'S ZESTIAL!" She screamed in fake panic, causing the demon to run away in fear. Ashley sighed in relief. "Good thing I have show knowledge. Don't wanna have a fight on my first day here." She muttered before she heard Cheese squeak excitedly from behind her neck. Suddenly, she heard the smell of burgers and cheese (the food). She turned to the source of the smell and saw a fast food restaurant that had a hiring poster on the front and a 24 hour sign.

Horror crept onto Ashley's face as she realized what she must do next.

xxxxxXxxxxx

"MINIMUM WAGE LABOR!" Exclaimed a clown demon cheerfully as he stood in front of Ashley wearing a red and yellow work uniform. "Are ya ready crew?"

"I'm the only one here." Replied Ashley raising a brow in confusion before her new boss chuckled, causing the princess to frown. "Why is it always clowns?" She muttered to herself before her boss jumped in front of her.

"Now now, young lady. That's no way to greet our customers! You have to smile like your life depends on it! Cause it does!" Exclaimed the demon cheerfully before he handed Ashley as piece of paper and put on a hat. "This is your list of things you have to do in my magnificent no name restaurant! Have a great day!" He said before headed for the door.

Ashley blinked "W-where are you going?" She asked in confusion.

"What? Ya think I'm gonna stick here when the extermination rolls in?" The demon asked cheerfully. "Make sure to clean the dishes!" He said before dashing away and out of the restaurant.

The girl focus shifted to nothingness as her mind became trapped by a all too familiar feeling. The girl fell to her knees as she lost all the strength in her legs. A quiet sob escaped the throat of the princess of greed before tears flowed out of her eyes like twin waterfalls. Cheese squeaked as he brushed against Ashley's cheek. It wasn't long before the girl grit her teeth and glared at the ground as insectoid features sprouted all over body. "WHY?!" She asked desperately. "WHY DID YOU PUT ME HERE?! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HELL! YOU COULDN'T EVEN STOP AT TAKING EVERYTHING FROM YOU CURSED PIECE OF **** WORLD, HUH?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! TELL ME! WHY AM I HERE?!"

The girl curled up into a ball as the waterworks ceased to stop before she heard the restaurant's entrance slam open. She looked up to see who it was and saw a familiar vicious winged figure. It was an exterminator. Ashley neither flinched nor moved as she stared at the angel. "I'm hellborn and the only one here. Look for sinners somewhere else." She said with a sniff, but the exterminator only stepped forwards. "Didn't you fucking hear me?!" She said before the angel tackled her and pinned her to the ground with a grin.

The angel raised the spear in her hand, ready to plunge it into Ashley's heart before she felt a sharp sting in the back of her neck. She couldn't find out where it came from before she was picked up by Ashley's massive scorpion tail and flung away crashing into the store counter. Ashley quickly got back on her feet and glared at the angel who quickly stood up, seemingly unfazed by Ashley's venom. "You wanna fucking go?!"

Without hesitation, the extermination dashed towards Ashley with her spear ready for an attack. The princess of greed easily dodged as antennas and insect mandibles grew on her body as the whites of her eyes turned black. Ashley quickly wrapped her scorpion tail around the angel and using it to fling her into the ground. The princess didn't stop there and pinned the exorcist down with her foot before delivering two heavy punches to the exterminator's face.

"You think I can't throw hands?" Asked Ashley angrily before she sent the angel crashing through a pillar with a powerful kick. "Bitch, I've lived in the crummiest ring of hell more than any sane person should and it's not this one." She added as spider legs grew out of her back "I'VE BEEN MUGGED MORE TIMES THAN I CAN BLOODY COUNT!"

Ashley raised her tail high up in air, ready to stab it into the angel's head hoping the venom would be more effective that way. But before she could, she saw something in a puddle of the angel's golden blood that made her stop. Her own reflection. She looked like a monster, A DEMON.

Ashely immediately reverted back to her more human like form with a panicked expression. She stared at her own hands in horror before turning to the barely conscious exorcist in front of her. The princess grabbed her by the leg and threw her outside the restaurant callously.

With no danger in sight anymore, the princess of greed sighed and sat on the cold floor of the restaurant. Ashley took a deep breath before exhaling all it in one go. "I need a new job." She muttered tiredly.

And somewhere and somewhen else, an angel with green veins sprouting from the back of her made her way into heaven.

xxxxxXxxxxx

I wanted to make a contrast between the three princesses by putting them on a spectrum of sorts by how ready to square up they are despite them all being good people.

Emily: least likely

Charlie: possible.

Ashley: most likely

Also, they're bird, mammal(goat) and insect respectively.

If you like this, the rest of the chaps (there are only 2 rn) are here