#OH THE CURRENT IS PULLING ME OUT
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I walked around through the bottom of the ocean I took a deep breath and drank through my gills
#heartless bastards#the mountain (2009)#AND I WAS SEARCHING FOR A MYSTERY TO HOLD ON STILL#I HAD BEEN SINKING UNDERNEATH THE PAPER SKIES I DREW#OH A RIP ANOTHER TEAR IT ALL DIVIDES#AND IM DROWNING DROWNING IN FRUSTRATION#OOOOOOOOOH#IM OUT AT SEA AND I CANNOT STOP THE TIDE#IM OUT IN THE WATER I CANNOT STOP THE TIDE#IM OUT AT SEA AND IM DRIFTING AWAY#OUT AT SEA AND IM DRIFTING AWAY#OH THIS FEELING#THIS FEELING IS PULLING ME DOWN#OH THE CURRENT IS PULLING ME OUT#music#out at sea
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jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.
even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.
so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.
and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#timdami#tim drake x damian wayne#damian wayne x tim drake#also possibly a hint of dicktim at the beginning there#i have yelled at my partner about them nonstop#so i had to put the thoughts into a tumblr post to give them peace.#i clearly favor tim in my ships we don't need to talk about it#tim drake is so weird he makes everyone else weird about him by proxy.#like sir contain that aura it's making everyone mentally ill.#i'm not a hamilton girlie at all which is why it makes me so mad Wait For It is SUCH good song for damian#like that song just IS his complex over tim#whether canon or shipping#this pulls from a variety of canon btw#like yeah mostly pre-flashpoint#but i do think the fact that in current comics canon tim keeps defaulting back to being robin#must make damian SO mentally unwell#like oh that does not help your jealousy complex does it.#and the thoughts of tim understanding the elite in ways damian doesn't are inspired by the boy wonder (2024)#which GOD is the first modern comic to fucking understand how tim and damian actually feel about each other#in a way that isn't either cartoonishly evil or makes them make up too easily#ugh. juni ba your mind.#anyway the complex damian has over tim. is fucking wild.#bc like everyone uses it to woobify poor tim for being attacked by big mean damian#which first of all stop taking panels out of context#second of all#dude no WONDER damian has a complex. i'd hate tim's ass too!!!#when i was reading batman & robin (2009) and dick casually says he can still call tim when damian acts out#what kind of threat IS that dick. sir.
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Living with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors
Me: *Is super stressed over life.*
Trichotillomania: Time to pull some hair! C'mon. You won't even notice you're doing it. It'll make you feel better.
Me: NO. *Spends 4 days putting hair in a mini twist protective style* There.
Dermatillomania: Hey. Your hands are free. And restless. And dry... Pick your skin. Bleed. Bleed.
Me: Stop! *Starts up a new crochet project to keep hands busy.* Ok cool.
Onychophagia: Hi hi. Your nails are.... perfect biting length... you should do that.
Me: Noooooooooooo *Paints nails.*
Dermatillomania: Oh look, you got some nail polish on your skin. Pick it off... now pick some more...
Me: SDJAKFDSJFKLDKAFDJKLAFJDKSAKLFDASL
#is this tmi? oh well. this is the tmi website#trichotillomania#dermatillomania#onychophagia#bfrb#body focused repetitive behavior#ocd#guys guess what? my therapist all but prescribed that i get a manicure to prevent picking at my skin#apparently after a year with this therapist i never mentioned my finger picking until this week#and she was like 'ok since you find it tough to paint them yourself get a manicure. self care and preventative'#because my cuticles are horrific due to me constantly picking at them and the sides of my fingers#so i've always been too embarrassed to go to a nail salon and my therapist was like 'exposure therapy!'#currently my nails are sloppily painted because i can't hold a brush still and they're already chipping after like 5 days#actually they probably started chipping on the second day honestly.#i need to redo my twists a bit which actually satisfies the trich urges since i'll be running my fingers through my hair to do it#but i won't actually be pulling. but also. i will be getting the shed hairs out. so. kind of fulfills that.#but right now my nails are long enough for me to feel them sometimes hit my keyboard. which. isn't normal for me.#and despite the nail polish i feel the urge to bite them shorter ahhhhh#anyway if you're Black with natural hair and have trich i HIGHLY suggest mini twists since it helps deter me from pulling#sure i have to redo it every few weeks but seriously. game changer. harder to find individual hairs to pull.
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I'm seeing, like in 2020 and 2016, a lot of talk about immigrating out of the states etc. and not even going into how that isn't feasible for a lot of people for various reasons I also just. don't see anyone talking about what if I don't want to fucking run away from my own home.
As a white woman I'm far from the first person to experience living in a homeland that you want to love but hates you politically. None of this is new for every other minority group in our country. But I remember first feeling it as a lesbian teen in the south and it's something I've heard shared by other friends of mine of different backgrounds from the US - especially red states. Even though I theoretically could get a visa somewhere else which is a privilege in and of itself - it's not fair that I should be pushed to consider it. Maybe I don't want to go to Europe. Maybe I like how diverse my home country is. I like our music and food and people and the little pockets of community we do manage to scrape together. Maybe I was born here and I want to fucking stay here rather than let the dickheads just win out over me and I don't want to run and pull up the ladder behind me.
I don't have an overarching point to this post and I'm not trying to shame people looking for a "way out" but it sucks to see. It sucks to see non Americans shittalk us, too, like there's not good people across the country - a whole half of the country - that didn't want any of this.
#like i see so much 'oh leave america leave america'#and its like ok let me pull out my None Savings to do that first of all#second of all i actually fucking like the good parts of america and its culture and dont WANT to leave it#not saying i never will but like. fucking come on man#yall do this with red states and europeans especially do this w the country as a whole#as if yall cant be equally rancid we're just unfortunately the current fucked up empire#but empires need people grinding under its gears even its own citizens to operate you know that right#its not like we're all clapping our hands like idiots. some are but not all and just discrediting the actual people trying is so shit
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Nothing pisses me off quite like annoying guilt-trippy posts by idiots who cared about Ukraine for exactly five minutes in 2022 and have not thought about Russia's brutal invasion for so much as one second since beyond making posts complaining about the "~overwhelming support~" Ukraine has supposedly recieved compared to other ongoing world events and posts that go "IMAGINE IF THIS WAS HAPPENING IN UKRAINE then you would CARE but because it's BROWN people U WON'T" You are a fake activist you are a pathetic trend chaser & the people you claim to care about deserve better than the likes of you because your moral integrity could fit into a fraction of a fraction of a millimetre
#oh wait they're usually yanks lemme pull up a chart to translate for em real quick: your moral integrity could fit#into a FRACTION OF A *FRACTION* OF AN INCH#Legit if you've ever said ''imagine if this happened in Ukraine'' shut up because it HAS happened and guess what?#the world has NOT CARED as much as you THINK they did. There was ONE news story at best and then they MOVED ON.#it's ''just'' Ukraine ''just'' an ex soviet state ''JUST'' a BUFFER state between Euro and Ruzzia and really ''Ukrainains are Russian''#Know who cared when Ruzzia annexed Crimea and STARTED this war *10* years ago? NO ONE.#(Crimean Tartars are generally muslim & COULD be considered POC by North American standards. Just a fun little btw)#If not for revealing the truth of Bucha and Mariupol especially this war WOULD have been forgotten about by the world at large AGAIN#YES IT WOULD HAVE YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK OVER ME I WAS CARING ABOUT UKRAINE BEFORE YOU COULD POINT IT OUT ON A MAP#*Unless you're Ukrainian in/from Ukraine then speak over me if you want to I guess#kat gets personal#me#current events#ukraine
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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Against my better judgement I'm watching more of the 2016 ppg reboot and lemme tell you something. I HAAAAAAATE the way they write Utonium I HATE IT!!!
But sometimes there'll be a little moment here or there where he's kinda...cute > ^ <
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE THERE'LL BE A VERY RARE W#like the one i just watched on recommendation from my partner where bubbles doesnt feel cute anymore cause she took a bad school photo#and woww they CAN write him being a good dad for once!! 🙄🙄🙄#not like good dad is a CORE PART OF HIS CHARACTER#but he reminds her that being cute is just ONE facet of what makes her a wonderful person#and then he brings her close and says 'between you and me you're the cutest one in the world!' UGGGHH#YOU CANT DO THAT YOU CANT TRICK ME LIKE THAT!!!!#and in the one i currently just finished he had a. job interview?? i guess he DOESNT get paid by the government#but the lady doing his interview said that they 'really love his work' and he BLUSHED ugghgh#fuck this show. ESPECIALLY FUCK IT FOR HAVING /SOME/ MOMENTS I ACTUALLY LIKE!!!!!#also it seems weird to me that bubbles would become so hung up on being cute#in the og its not like she's consciously being cute because its her THING she just IS#shes naturally innocent and good hearted ie CUTE#idfk#oh also buttercup pulls out a bucket list and the first thing is 'yell at a bird'#and ngl that made me blow air out of my nose ajfkf#ugh i could say a lot more but im not gonna
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I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.
#personal#move back to your small hometown they said#it'll be fun they said#me chanting over and over again:#if you live here you get to see your family all the time#(this is a good thing for me i love my brother and his family)#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point#anyway newest drama is that one of the parents thinks it's suspicious that i 'quit' the same time my best friend moved away#the shit that is being said about us right now??? fucking wild#i haven't told any of those kids why i really left because they don't need me to be gossiping about their current coach to them#that would be so unprofessional of me#i say like she wasn't spreading rumors about me to THEM directly last year#we are all in our 30s here why are we acting like fucking teenagers still#i'm about to be real petty when i go visit next week though#'oh my god you won't believe what i heard crystal is telling people at her salon'#to the coach not the kids lol#i have a sneaking suspicion that the she is involved in this gossip in an adjacent way not directly#and i want her to think about the shit she says before she says it#she's mad that i don't want to coach jv when i told her multiple times i don't want to run my own program#and that i'd be happy to help her out as an assistant coach but that having to deal with parents is my worst actual nightmare#see what's happening right now#literally the only reason i applied is because i love those kids and they were all freaking out about my friend leaving#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving#and i was like hey i won't leave you guys don't worry#it's her fault that she chose not to include me in any of her brainstorming for next year#if she really wanted me to be involved she would have been talking to me about it back in april#i'm literally barely pulling myself out of my grief hole about losing coaching#and i could have stayed around but i would have been miserable#because it wouldn't have been in the capacity that i really wanted#oof okay i feel a little better after venting a bit
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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hot prof having us write class journals and him writing notes back is just sooooo intricateritualsy it's driving me nuts. i can feel the way the pages have warped from the way you held it + we're literally writing each other like bro oh my god. it's literally a semester long journal and like at this point this thing is becoming an archive an art project like kshsjsjs thats intimate
#ALSO. DURING CLASS HE WAS LIKE ONE OF YOU SAID SOMETHING THAT STUCK WITH ME AND THEN PULLED MY JOURNAL OUT OF HIS BAG ALREADY OPEN#I WAS LIKE OH GOD#also help i'm reading the notes i have to catch up on in my current journal and he referenced something i said IN CLASS that i totally#forgot that i said. like it was not relevant to the journal at all#guys this is bad for me this whole situation is soecifically designed to make me go insane#karinyo.txt#college
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proportions are all off, but bits and pieces are slowly starting to come together. this one has been so damn technical that whatever i do next is gonna have to be blobby and organic lol
#Jrnlsht#I at least have passed the point where its no longer pulling teeth to get me to practice this shit#Pretty much up until this week i never wanted to work on it and it was maaaaaybe an hour a day if that#But its becoming more fun the more i use this modeler and learn the tricks to speed it up#I'm starting to get a sense of the style i want too like once i finish with the upper body gear#I will probably go into the torso and fix the proportions and figure out how i want those creased lines to be drawn#oh and also attach the hands 🤣 probably important piece of a hockey player#if you are wondering why i never show his face its cause ive been slowly picking away at that and currently he still looks like a blob oops
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the way that i am now downloading stock market news apps......... and squinting at these crazy ass news articles and learning finance terms n shit.... trying to read these number and graphs........
i am morphing into a middle aged dad of 3 kids. 🧍♂️
#mine#its so joever for me guys.#it started with the boomer ellipses and now here we are#save yourselves gang.... SAVE YOURSELVES#to be clear yes i am still Anarchist and anticapitalist#but man. sometimes you get sick and tired of being sick and tired and if pretending to day trade along with finance bros#and laughing at their misfortunes when stock values plummet helps out my mental health? then babey. lemme get my trading apps open#to be clear also: i'm not trading stocks either. well not actively anyways#ive just become irrationally obsessed with this shit out of nowhere. but rn my broke ass cannot afford to gamble money#on the current volatile ass market#so i'm safely sticking to my bonds and my etfs for now#and watching the circus that the NYSE turns into every 3rd quarter or so#oh ye btw finance news: warren buffet sold half of his tech shares recently including apple stocks#so its looking like it is So Joever for ai and tech which is absolutely hilarious considering all these phone companies#are pushing ai SO HARD rn. but even investors arent buying it anymore#news articles are saying lots of investors are pulling out of risky investments rn. selling stocks. piling their money into bonds for now#but last 2 quarters of every finance year are like that so i'm not too concerned#the October Scare is real with these guys lol#more reasons why october is my absolute fave month LMAO
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Rotating Simon Petrikov in my mind again...........
Right now I can only envision the F&C series ending in one of two ways for him:
Simon is persuaded to permanently move to Fionna's magic-free world--a chance to live the peaceful, scholarly life he was denied by the war and the Crown. We see that he can't relate to the humans in Ooo because they're so far removed from what humans were like back in his time that they might as well be aliens, but this alternate world would be just like he remembered his old life to be, and thus more comfortable for him to settle down in. Even if it meant leaving Marceline and the others behind in Ooo, I could see this being a real possibility if Betty somehow finds a way to go with him. It would require moving on irrevocably from one part of his life, but they'd get their simple, mundane--yet happy--ending.
Simon is forced to reconcile with the fact that reuniting with Betty is either impossible or not worth some terrible price. Maybe he realizes he's not willing to cut himself off from his Marceline and the little ragtag family they've built, even for a life with Betty. Or maybe accepting the mundane life for himself would also doom Fionna and Cake to a life of misery and broken dreams, and he can't bring himself to betray his new friends for such a selfish reward. Either way the result is that he returns to Ooo, to basically the same situation he was in at the start of the season, but finally free from all the regret and guilt and grief that was stopping him from moving forward and finally embracing the second chance that Betty gave him back in "Come Along with Me".
I honestly don't know which I think is more likely at this point OR necessarily which one I would prefer, because they both have pros and cons. I maybe lean toward the second one because I tend to hate "the magic is gone, and that's good!"-type endings, but depending on the buildup I could still see it working. Ultimately it'll depend on wherever Fionna and Cake themselves end up, and I have NO idea where that's going lmao
#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake spoilers#they'd BETTER not try to pull some crap about FIONNA being happier in the non-magical world because THAT would be nonsense#and like. hm... it would almost make the most sense to me right now for F&C to just live in the regular Ooo???#despite their current goals in the most recent episodes I haven't really seen any compelling reason why the world Fionna started in would#benefit as a whole from becoming magical. and in fact it feels like it might be kind of a jerk move to everyone else to do so.#she seems to be the only one who's definitely unhappy with her life there (though maybe the Gumshall b-plot will prove me wrong later!)#but obviously it feels weird and maybe like. unsatisfying? for her to just exist in the same world as Finn#so maybe they're going to resolve this by creating a whole separate Ooo just for her (which seems excessive) or#OH OH what if Fionna and Cake end up able to just travel the whole multiverse at will!!#maybe they'll resolve the cosmic crime stuff and connect their home universe up to the rest of the multiverse web#allowing easier travel between the worlds because of some kind of convenient plot device#idk now I'm just throwing out baseless theories because they sound cool to me#I am gnawing on the bars of my cage WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE
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teenage girls on tiktok will have a kindle covered in stickers with a clear case on top and the stickers are all just various representations of reading as a concept and they will be obsessed with them. same with a nintendo switch covered in stickers with a clear case on top and the stickers are all the concept of gaming. they love the concept of concepts so much.
#it took me a little while to realise that video game reviews and mainstream video game culture is currently 'newer = better'#to the degree that if someone releases a new console that costs $1200 for the base set-up and it pinches your hands 100% of the time#i can find you a thousand people who swear it's literally the best thing available on the market#and the day they release a second generation one that also pinches your nuts suddenly everyone'll say the first one sucked shit#this realisation felt the same but with zero animosity#like 'oh they're ALL recommending i buy a clear case SPECIFICALLY to facilitate the concept-oriented sticker collection'#'because that's just what they do and it's their prerogative. okay.'#like these girlies are trying to get you to spend $50 and i swear they're doing it out of affection for their concepts & aesthetics#the video game people want you to stick out your fist full of money and pull back a nub. they think it will be funny.#they're both insane. i'm not doing any of that. what's going on with you people. (affectionate/derogatory)#adam yaps
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Might be strange sounding, but the card reveals/banlists always come in 2 different perspectives for me, irrelevant of which banlist I'm playing under; because I write fics, I have to contend with the banlist at times (a majority of the time it's based on the sort of half-tcg, half-ocg Master Duel banlist with Anime Specific Additions.)
So when new cards come out I have to judge them not only by what I can figure out from their effects and traits (combined with what's currently meta, and if there's anything that wants to play the new cards, whilst being mindful of banlist differences), I also have the joy of internally discussing the value of a deck when its in a fictional setting.
I don't think anyone normally thinks about if a deck's theme is strong enough to tie a character to it, let alone if a deck's theme is too strong and tying a character to it is like Akihiko Sanada's obsession with protein in anything that isn't mainline persona (Like the Q games.)
Also makes engines less appealing.
#marwospeaking#Mikan plays Xyz-based Harpies. Manon plays Ashened. and Risa plays Memento trying to pretend its not a fusion deck#are these good decks? maybe only Memento. Do they fit the characters? surprisingly yes#Mikan's kind of like. pretty to look at. but not fun to interact with in any way. Manon wants to set her cell on fire (out of frustration)#and Risa's memory is so spotty she has zero idea who she is besides very basic details like her name (and how to play Memento main deck)#If you asked me to build someone who plays Despia. I could. If you asked me to build someone who plays Snake Eye. I could not.#Primoredial? sure! White Woods? maybe! Raizeol? ...sure. great archetype for engineers/mechanics?#Goblin Biker? Sure! Sky Striker? ehhh maybe? Fiendsmith? No. Yubel? ... only they play themself I'm fairly certain#These aren't really inspiring decks (the current meta ones I mean) in a way you'd really want for a character deck#(Kashtira wasn't either. admittedly)#They're small collections of cards that play half their deck as staples. what the hell kind of character can you build from that??#Before anyone asks. Mimighoul I could absolutely make a character for (in the same vein as Flip Turner). same with poor Tistina#Fiendsmith's theme is obviously strong. Its just one of Those kinds of decks where either everything else is powercrept. or it feels..#.. too small of a deck to do anything interesting with going pure with a few techs for the character#(some characters don't play pure. but when they do; those decks get combined support. Ojama Armed Dragon for example)#(Odd-eyes Performapal Magician and Onomats are the two others I can think of that do this. Yusei's pile does not count)#Another issue is when you have a set victor for a duel. but one character has a deck that's a calibre above what the victor will be using..#.. like Trickstar vs Cyberse Pile (might be multiple calibres). It becomes either not very fun or a very ass-pull looking victory#worse if it's a plot point duel with a lot of weight. even worse when it's too early on for 'oh they've grown as a duellist'#I'm rambling. anyway point is Secret Card Analysis Type: Fic Writer That Writes Duels
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#i'm in so much pain el oh el#it's the second day of my period. at home the painkillers worked just fine. the INSTANT i left for work they stopped working#like i've taken four 500mg pills which includes my backup pill for work so now i don't have any more painkillers on me#it's pulling down into my calfs. i can barely stand. i can't sit#i'm legit about to burst into tears because my clothes don't feel right on my body and everyone keeps talking to me and i'm so overwhelmed#and everything fucking hurts i just want to lay down on my cold floor#currently eating a tub of ice cream in the break room and aggressively bouncing my knee to try and keep it together#it's over four hours until i can go home why is every day i'm here just an exercise in suffering#i was fine at home everything was fine before i got dressed and headed out i'm going to scream
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