#OCD characteristics

[taintedsorrow]

@neonsnailcity I'm not as good at putting my thoughts together in a concise way nor do I have the time to really sort through to fish out examples to back up my reading, but this is probably a whole ass write up @vitasexualiiis would want to do, since we talk about it together quite a bit?

Some basic bullet points would be:

He has pretty extreme control issues, and I don't say that dismissively or to be insulting toward his character. He feels like the obligation falls to him (and often him alone) to make sure large scale chaotic and dangerous situations don't get more out of hand than they already are. This obligation extends to ignoring his own feelings and desires in favor of acting the logical and strategic leader. He puts the organization's self-preservation (and in extension, Yokohama's) in front of his own in a way that, while he views this as necessary, and maybe it is, is definitely at the expense of himself in many cases.

The whole Elise situation. Which is a lot to unpack, and relies heavily on some difficult to fully "prove" interpretations. But personally, I view Elise as most likely a manifestation of parts of his psyche he may not be fully in control of, while simultaneously being an outlet for some of his compulsions/avoidances. She gets to be a little kid. She gets to be a spoiled brat. She gets to eat as much cake as she wants, etc. etc. I could spend a lot of time going into this and maybe I will at a later point? The (very) short of it includes: he spoils her as an outlet for not being able to directly spoil himself, and she fights it, because there's the "rational" part of himself that is always in conflict with that desire. (I think a lot of fans like to forget that Elise is his ability, it is not a person, it is simply a magical manifestation. I'd like to point out that Fukuzawa calls it a "thing" and a "fiend" and extends no shred of empathy toward it as a "person", and this is Fukuzawa.)

What I also see as Compulsive Shopping ("Retail Therapy") behavior, which is an extension of the Elise situation. He obviously takes Elise on shopping sprees as a reaction to stressful situations. I don't know if this needs more elaboration tbh.

There's a part in the Guild Arc where he revisits the blood stain he left on the well after he killed the old Boss at a point of uncertainty... there's a whole lot to say about it, but the act feels like it speaks for itself in context of what's going on (@vitasexualiiis may have talked about this scene before, but I can't find a post to link to so I might revisit this).

Violent urges/impulses. He has moments where he clearly has some violent thoughts and impulses that he obviously has no actual desire to act on, but that you can see very clearly flash through his mind, and he does seem to need to vocalize these. A clear example that sticks out in my mind is when he has his reaction to want to "kill Fukuzawa", which he expresses and concerns Chuuya, but obviously that was never his intent and never has been.

Probably will read as a throw away to most people, but his character info sheet has his dislikes listed as Dirty Things and Raw Food, which are two of my biggest triggers, so it's hard not to read into it as one more glaring example.

... there really is a lot more I could elaborate on and fish out specific examples for, but it's a start. It's really hard for me to look at him and not see his character defined by it. Obviously, he's more than that as a person, and I find him to be a very compelling character who I genuinely adore. I also think there are alternative ways of interpreting his character, but this is what rings true for me.

[arthallea]

i've been using this phrase i thought of recently called "neurotypical-coded" for neurodivergent people who are still abiding by and enforcing neurotypical standards and i've found that incredibly helpful because there sure as shit are plenty of neurodivergent people who won't hesitate to throw some of us under the bus because they can't be bothered to challenge their biases and thought processes if it doesn't directly involve something that effects them

[lunarsapphism]

there really is something so devastating about having a parent that has a literal degree in psychology (specialized in child psychology) who worked as a birth to three child developmental resources coordinator for like fourteen years and knowing that because of those things, they will never believe you when you think you have something because they think they know more than you and also know you better than you know yourself. and in any scenario the only way they will EVER agree with you is if they came up with the idea of the diagnosis first. wild shit honestly

[wybbit]

i hate when people say "well are you schizoid/schizophrenic?? do you have a cluster B disorder??? if not then you can't really speak on this" as they blatantly use the disorders as insults because i'm still mentally ill and all of these ignorant comments are just constantly repackaged in slightly different ways to perpetuate the same types of stigma

[wtfliaa]

𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑽𝑰𝑫𝑼𝑨𝑳 𝑾𝑯𝑶 𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻 𝑼𝑵𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑩𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑶𝑿𝑰𝑪 𝑹𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑷/𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 ⛓️💔🖤❤️‍🩹

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

WARNING ⚠️ MENTIONS OF ADDICTIONS, MENTAL HEALTH, ABUSE, AND SEX.

Pluto 7th- You can attract partners who are mysterious, secret, passionate and intense people. These partners could appear in ur life during an unstable time of your life or their life (the instability usually revolves around mental health issues, such as ptsd, and depression) Due to having Pluto/Scorpio in the 7th house can indicate attracting a partner/spouse with strong plutonic energy and traits. Majority of plutonic people have been through trials and tribulations and had to deal with a lot of trauma. If these people haven’t healed those wounds and they step into your world, therefore there is 99 percent chance that they can release their dark side to you. Resulting in them getting jealous, controlling, obsessive, possessive, untrustworthy, fear of vulnerability, and fear of abandonment. Examples- Lashing out throwing tantrums when you’re not paying attention to them, getting upset when you’re talking to someone for a long period of time (esp family) stalking and lurking in your private things just to see if your a loyal person, having every single social media pages and account that you own and watch you all the time, having you in their thoughts constantly preventing them from focusing, viewing you as irresistible, crazy over you, and extremely passionate and sexual with you as well, asking a bunch of questions about you, wanting to know everything about you. (Unfortunately I have this placement, and there’s nothing bad with this placement, but it’s a lot to deal with very intense yk?)

Venus aspecting Pluto/Lilith/Mars - You attract partners that are obsess with your internal and external beauty. Your Venusian charm captivates people allowing them to be intensely drawn to you. You just being your authentic self also draw a them in too, along with your unique Venusian beauty. Natives with this aspect can attract Marsian, Plutonic, Lilithian people who embody those characteristics. Attracts partners that obsessive, stalkerish, narracistic, aggressive, dominating, and unconventional.

Chiron 7th house- attracting emotional wounded people, vulnerability issues.

Pluto, Lilith, Saturn in 7th house = Karmic and unconventional, taboo, intense relationship/ marriages

Pluto, Lilith, Saturn, Mars, Ketu, Chiron, in 7th house/ ruling planet that fall into different houses/ aspects- all indicate karma in relationship, trauma in relationship. This can also be good karma as well. People automatically think karmic is scary and bad. No not at all! These karmic relationships are put in our path just for us to learn from those experiences. The difficult moment makes you become wiser and it changes you for the better 🖤

Jupiter 8th house, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn. Juno Scorpio, 8th house, 10th house, Venus 8th house, Venus Scorpio, Venus Capricorn, Venus Libra/Taurus, Saturn/Pluto 7th house (planet of karma) Venus first house, Taurus/Libra Ascendant, Moon Scorpio, Lilith 1st house , Pluto 1st house, Pluto-Venus, Venus-Lilith, Mars-Neptune, Neptune- Asc, Cancer Venus/Moon, Pisces Venus . All indications of attracting unstable relationship/ partner ships romantically/ non-romantically/ Marriage/Commitment. Attracting toxic, abusive relationships, drug addicts sex addicts any addiction, aggressive, attracting people with hostile behavior, manipulators, vengefulNPD, OCD, BPD, ADHD. Abundant, Fiery Sex life. Attracts very sexually attractive and conventionally attractive people.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Ps. Natives with those placements attract relationship dynamics like Fifty shades of grey, Vampire diaries, the movie After. I’d recommend you to those shows if it resonated and to get a visual look and representation of the possible dynamics 🤍🖤

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

PLEASE FOLLOW AND LIKE, REBLOG IF U WANT UR NOT OBLIGATED TOO!!

And let me know if it resonated ? With you. THANK UUUUUUUU 🤍🖤🖤❤️❤️🤍🤍⛓️

- Jay

[springwitch26]

flowers and firsts (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

summary: being the gracious friend you are, you offer to share your weed with melissa and jacob for a fun friday night at their place. when jacob goes to bed, things get heated between you and your favorite coworker.

warnings: smut (18+), consensual high sex, recreational marijuana use (be responsible), strap-ons, praise kink, vibrators, soft melissa, stoner reader, attempts at comedy (it's a fun fic guys), mario kart 8 GONE SEXUAL

notes: happy 4/20. this wasn't requested, but my OCD is beating the fuck out of me rn and writing it brought me comfort. let me know what you think. much love from your favorite slutty stoner 💚

"i know kids are curious, but eighth grade is a bit early to try weed, right?" jacob bounced his leg anxiously as he raised the question to his friends in the teachers' lounge. one of his students had just been suspended for bringing marijuana to school, and jacob was characteristically worried about the kid.

"i started in tenth grade, but teenagers are growin' up younger and younger these days," melissa responded. barbara raised her eyebrows in shock, and melissa reacted with an amused half-smile. "like trouble over here. when was your first time, hon?"

you tried to ignore the innuendo as melissa invited you into the conversation. you had been hired to teach the third grade a few months ago. you and melissa had a rapport from the first moment you walked into the lounge. every time you were in a room together, you made each other laugh. melissa made you feel at ease in your new workplace, and you felt lucky to have her.

because you both got along so well, ava often paired you up for team-building exercises and combined-class activities. the two of you weren't exactly close friends yet, but you had chemistry. that much was obvious to everyone at abbott.

"tenth grade for me, too," you answered between sips of your morning coffee. "a friend and i did it in the bathroom before art class. good memories."

"what, did you have some kinda fancy vape pen?" melissa cocked an eyebrow at you.

"i wouldn't call it fancy, but yeah, we mostly smoked carts," you explained. "bought 'em from the upperclassmen in the parking lot before school. i'm pretty sure they weren't pure weed, though. we had to be smoking battery acid, or plastic or something."

"god, your generation is weird. smokin' chemicals out of a flash drive," melissa said, gesturing wildly to convey her amazement. "the first time i got high was in detention. my buddy steve would sneak in and bring us cigarettes and blunts. they all looked the same, so we played russian roulette with it. now everybody walks around with those neon devices in their pockets."

"i can't tell if you're being serious or if you're referencing the breakfast club," you giggled, nudging the redhead's shoulder jokingly as you sat down next to her.

"ha ha, very funny, little miss," melissa deadpanned. you had asked her to stop calling you "kid" a few weeks ago. she respected your wishes by coming up with all sorts of endearing synonyms to call you instead. "what about you, jacob? you used to vape—ever experimented with mary jane?"

"or mark john?" you added. melissa snorted and gave you a playful swat on the arm.

"no, actually, i haven't," jacob said, rolling his eyes at your quip. "i didn't have many friends in high school or college, and after that i had to be drug tested regularly for teachers without borders. i never got the chance."

"well, if you ever feel like trying something new, i have plenty to share," you offered. "can't have you over at my place, though; every time i bring guests around, my crazy neighbor thinks they're cia operatives."

everyone in the room except melissa gave you a shocked look. barbara looked especially aghast, her brightly painted lips curled into an 'o' shape.

"damn, i thought janine was the only after-school stoner here. what a pleasant surprise!" ava broke the silence.

"i suppose i would partake given one of those weed pens you mentioned," jacob said to you. "the only thing i've been vaping lately is air, and it gets stale after a while."

"oh no, i haven't used a cart since high school," you clarified. "if you're smoking with me, you're smoking. don't worry, it's easy. just like vaping, but better in every way."

"first of all, no smoke circle is happening under my roof without me." melissa chimed in, looking at you with a silent question in her eyes. you nodded—of course you wanted her there. "and second, where do you even get the weed? if you buy the legal stuff from new york or massachusetts, you're not bringin' it to my house."

"i wouldn't dream of it," you affirmed. "i only smoke authentic philly weed. don't worry about it; i got a guy."

---

that friday night, you showed up on melissa's doorstep wearing a casual t-shirt dress, with a tote bag full of goodies slung over your shoulder. jacob was the one to answer the door.

"hey! come on in, melissa's making pizza," he said cheerfully, a bit jittery with anticipation.

you followed jacob inside and found melissa leaning over the kitchen island, smiling fondly at you. she was wearing sweatpants and a loose-fitting striped shirt, with her hair loose and a bit messy from cooking. she looked radiant and comfortable.

"you know, the pizza will taste better if we smoke before dinner," you proposed.

"bold of you to assume my pizza could taste any better," melissa joked back.

"i'm game," jacob said. "i want the full marijuana experience."

"in that case, help me set up," you said to the history teacher. "i want you to see how everything works."

you laid the contents of your tote bag out on the island countertop: a ziploc baggie full of flower, a little purple grinder, a holographic pink bowl, and a yellow lighter with white flowers on it.

"jacob, this is a grinder," you said, uncapping the grinder and opening the ziploc bag. "we're gonna use it to break up the flower into little pieces."

"oh wow, that is... pungent," jacob remarked. he watched as you ground up the weed, then handed the pink glass bowl to him.

"and this is a bowl, or a pipe if you're lame," you said. "you wanna do the honors?"

jacob grinned and reached into the grinder, bouncing excitedly on his heels. you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. he filled the bowl, looking to you for approval several times while he did it.

"awesome, we're ready," you said. melissa placed her pizza in the oven and joined the circle.

"let's take it out on the patio," melissa suggested.

she led you and jacob out to the patio, a small ledge overlooking the city with three chairs conveniently set up in a tight circle. it was 7pm and the sun had just begun its descent, casting philadelphia in an orange glow.

the three of you sat down. you held the bowl up to your lips and moved to light it, but melissa snatched the lighter from your hand. she leaned in and held the flame to the bowl, her face inches from yours. you tried to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than her painted lips or her vivid green eyes dancing all over you.

you took a long inhale of the smoke and blew it up toward the sky. melissa plucked the bowl out of your hand and took a hit. she held the smoke in her lungs for an impressive amount of time for someone who didn't smoke regularly. she passed the still-lit bowl to jacob.

as soon as jacob took his hit, you knew it was gonna hurt. he overestimated his own lung capacity, and he didn't even finish blowing the smoke out before he was coughing.

"happens to everybody, pal," melissa patted jacob's back to ease his pain.

"ugh!" jacob sputtered between coughs. "why didn't you guys tell me smoking hurts?"

---

several rotations later, the three of you were high. well, you and melissa were high; jacob was outright fried. not altogether unexpected, but funny as hell.

when melissa's pizza was done, you all resolved to eat outside so you could watch the sunset together.

"this is heavenly, mel," you moaned after a delicious bite of the pizza.

"ha!" jacob exclaimed, and you and melissa turned to him, confused. meeting melissa's gaze, he threw his arms up in the air—like he expected her to understand what he meant by that one noise. "she stole two syllables from your name. you can't just take syllables, y/n. they're not yours."

"since when do you care about private property rights?" you quipped back before turning your attention to melissa. "i'm serious though. this pizza is sooo good. like last-meal-on-death-row good."

"keep talkin' sweet like that, and you can call me whatever you want," melissa replied with a wink, sending a flood of warmth to your face.

"what were we talking about? just now?" jacob chimed in, his eyes wide and darting every which way.

"... i actually don't know," you said with a giggle. you tried to remember, you really did. but you could feel melissa's eyes on you, and you heard her words echoing in your head. and it was hard to focus on anything else.

"short term memory loss! add that to the list of things you guys didn't warn me about," jacob scoffed.

"jacob, eat your damn pizza," melissa cut in. a peaceful smile graced her lips as she stared out at the city skyline, now a twilight blue in the absence of the sun. "i've missed this feeling, everythin' all fuzzy and light. how are you holding up, lovebug?"

your heart fluttered at the endearing name. melissa, it seemed, wore her heart on her sleeve when she was high—judging by the adoring way she gazed at you while she awaited your response. maybe the weed was messing with your head, but you swore she'd never looked so beautiful.

her eyes lacked any trace of the fire you were used to seeing (though they were quite red). for once, she wasn't on guard. her plump lips curled around her wine glass as she took a sip of merlot, vocalizing her sensual appreciation with a hum.

her long auburn hair was tucked behind her ears, resting on her shoulders in loose waves instead of her preferred meticulous curls. you wanted to run your fingers through her locks, feel their softness and smell her shampoo.

entranced by the redhead, you forgot she had asked you a question. melissa tapped your knee in reminder.

"i feel perfect," was your soft reply. you were beaming brightly before the sentence even finished. rather than sitting in a chair, you felt like you were floating on a cloud. the colors of melissa's patio and the sky blended together in a beautiful, swirling mosaic. the sounds of the city were clear and pleasant as philly wound down for the night. "i'm so happy."

"glad to hear it, sunshine. but i'm pretty sure jacob is asleep," melissa chuckled and patted the man's shoulder. he didn't stir, remaining slumped and conked out in his chair. "he's been losin' sleep over the kid who got suspended. bending over backwards trying to keep 'em on track."

"oh gosh," you said sympathetically before patting jacob a bit more firmly than melissa had. "jacob, hey. c'mon, it's time for bed. get up, go get cozy."

your words were slurred and hushed, but they seemed to pierce the veil of jacob's slumber as he awoke with a start.

melissa stood behind jacob's chair, gently rocking it back and forth to bring him back to the conscious world.

"can't go to bed, we just started," jacob grumbled, but his eyes were still closed. he was dangerously close to falling asleep again.

"from the looks of it, you're either gonna spend the night sleepin' in this chair or in your bed, so get up," melissa said resolutely.

"yeah, and besides, there's always next time," you assured jacob as he stretched and groaned his way into an upright position. you made eye contact with melissa, and this time you winked.

---

after helping jacob into bed (his motor skills really deteriorated when he got high) and smoking another bowl together, you and melissa were ready to continue your night.

"alright, sweetheart, it's down to you and me," melissa said, sitting down next to you on the couch. "what do you wanna do?" you pondered the question, looking around the room for inspiration.

"oh my god, you have a nintendo switch?" you asked excitedly, gesturing to the black tablet plugged in next to the cable box.

"that's jacob's. he showed me one of the games on there—animal crossing, i think it was. i don't get it. why play a game if you can't win?"

"alright, i know what we have to do now," you said, walking over to jacob's game cabinet and pulling out mario kart 8. holding the case up for melissa to see, you grinned. "four races. whoever wins gets whatever she wants from the other."

you were distantly aware of the implications, but you were too high to reconsider what you'd proposed.

you figured melissa would want something from your thoroughly decorated classroom if she won. if you won, you'd ask her to make you a custom pizza.

"you have no idea what you just started, hon," melissa said with a confident smirk.

"may the best woman win."

---

how the hell was she so good at everything?

melissa had needed some time to warm up to the switch controls, complaining about how the little red rectangle was too small to hold comfortably. but she was a quick learner with skilled fingers, and soon she was absolutely demolishing you.

it also didn't help that your coordination escaped you when you were high. you had driven off of too many ledges to count.

"two wins in a row for luigi," melissa bragged as she crossed the finish line of the third race. "hope you're ready to give me whatever i want, princess. don't think i forgot about our bet."

"daisy won the first race," you pointed out calmly. "i can still bring it back. but you know what this last race has to be?"

"what?"

"rainbow road. it's the perfect final showdown course," you explained, navigating to the course with your controller.

"get ready to be mine for a night," melissa said lowly. god, you knew she was talking about the bet, but she knew damn well what she was doing. by this point your panties were almost uncomfortably wet.

you leaned into her unconsciously as the race countdown began. you both held your controllers tight, almost shoulder to shoulder.

3...

2... (you push down the gas pedal button)

1...

GO!!!

daisy took off with a boost of speed thanks to your timing. luigi had a false start as his engine blew out. you cheered, and melissa cursed.

"how the fuck do you do that?" she asked, exasperated.

"play the game!" you demanded without looking away from the screen.

the competition was intense. you and melissa weaved around curves, nearly fell off the road, passed and bumped each other. neither one of you spoke until lap 3.

coming up on one of the last turns of the last lap, your hands jerked and you swerved. reacting on instinct, you bent your arms dramatically in the other direction to overcorrect.

melissa's arm bumped into yours, sending your controller flying out of your hands.

"hey!" you said, thinking she was cheating.

"hey yourself," she said, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

if she was gonna play dirty, so were you. you thrust your arm forward to grab her controller. but she saw you coming from a mile away. effortlessly, she shifted the controller into her left hand alone and held it up and out of your reach.

desperately competitive (and stupid high), you launched yourself toward the controller. you'd stop at nothing to get even. before you could snatch it out of her grasp, though, your balance faltered. you fell out of your position and started to fall backwards off the couch.

melissa dropped the controller and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you back up before you could hurt yourself. there was only one problem with this heroic act.

you were in her lap now.

her hands remained clasped at the small of your back, and your balance shifted forward. you put your arms out for stability, and wrapped them around her neck.

"careful, don't hurt your pretty head," melissa cooed. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. she surged forward and pressed her lips to yours.

if sitting outside with her felt like floating, kissing her and feeling her body against yours felt like riding the ocean waves. but unlike the atlantic, she was warm. you relaxed into her warmth as her tongue licked into your mouth.

you felt her tongue everywhere. in response to her, you gave a few tentative kitten licks. she moaned, she moaned, and pulled back before giving you one last kiss on the lips.

she stared at you with heated eyes for a while before switching her focus to the tv.

"look, baby," she said smugly while gesturing to the tv screen, where luigi was driving victory laps after placing first on rainbow road. "i won. you remember what that means?"

it was a fair question, considering how many conversations you forgot happened tonight. still, you nodded shyly and bit your lip.

"smart girl," melissa praised. "can you guess what i want from you?"

you shook your head no with a frown. melissa beamed and kissed you on the forehead. then she leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"i wanna touch you everywhere. i wanna hear your pretty voice moan my name and see your face scrunch up when you come. i want you to feel me all over you, and i want you to spend the rest of your life craving that feeling," melissa said her piece all at once, as if revealing a long-buried secret to you and herself.

you swallowed.

"would you let me do that?"

you nodded, pressing your forehead against hers.

"i need to hear you say it," she said softly, so softly you almost missed it.

"i want you, melissa. i have since the day we met."

that was all the confirmation melissa needed to attack your face and neck with kisses.

"sorry, let me just," melissa said as she pulled away abruptly and reached for the tv remote. she changed it to cable mode and navigated to the jazz music channel. "there we go, perfect."

"you're ridiculous," you giggled upon seeing melissa's proud face.

"honey," she leaned in to nip at your ear before whispering, "watch your mouth. you wanna be on my good side tonight, trust me."

you shuddered and wiggled in her lap, aching for her touch. a slow grin spread across her face and her hands found your legs, running up your thighs and lightly dragging her nails along your skin. they soon made their way up your waist to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them. melissa even took two fingernails and circled your nipples teasingly, to which you squeaked.

"do you know how many times i thought about havin' you like this?" melissa whispered. her voice was sweet like molasses and flowed right through you. you could feel your nipples tingling where her fingers had been, swimming in a bubble of desire. "in my lap, all whiny and squirmy."

she pinched your nipple and you keened. you held your breath as her hands once again traveled to your thighs, making a beeline for your core.

"and now i got my angel in my arms," she said, gently spreading your legs for better access. you sucked in a breath and trembled when her palm caressed you through your panties. "but i gotta say, even in my imagination you were never this wet for me."

she punctuated the sentence by pressing her pointer finger on your clit through the fabric, drawing tiny circles. you gasped and hid your face in her neck. the high made every touch feel like it rippled through your whole body. the world felt like it had been knocked off its axis, and melissa was your new center of gravity.

"aw, don't be embarrassed, babygirl. it's cute you're so sensitive," melissa soothed, easing you out of the crook of her neck to face her again. she trailed her fingers down to swirl around your wetness under your panties. "let me take care of you, yeah?"

---

a few minutes later, you were spread out on melissa's bed, naked save for your (now useless) panties. she'd practically carried you to her room as you were baked and horny and unable to walk straight.

in spite of your writhing and needy whines, the redhead took her time to savor you. she kissed every inch of your torso before she even considered taking your panties off, mumbling sweet nothings between love bites.

when she finally pulled away to admire her work, the view did not disappoint. you were panting and covered in melissa's marks, and god, you were her favorite piece of art ever created. all hers.

"alright, sweet girl, i know," she cooed as you continued to plead for her touch with your best pout and puppy eyes. unable to resist you, melissa hooked two fingers in the waistband of your panties. "i'm gonna slip these off ya, okay? there, down they go."

melissa discreetly tucked the saturated material into her pocket. not as a trophy or proof of her conquest; rather, a token from the first of many magical nights with her girl. she would treasure it.

she wasted no time getting situated between your legs so she was face-to-face with your pussy. she inhaled deeply, basking in the heady aroma of your arousal. you overwhelmed her senses. everything she saw, everything she smelled, everything she felt, everything she thought—it was all one big, bottomless pool of you. and there was only one sense left for you to conquer.

the first drag of her tongue up your slit set you ablaze, flames licking from your core all the way to your extremities and your head. she let out a small noise of appreciation, and you felt it more than you heard it.

"you taste like fuckin' heaven," melissa rumbled between determined licks through your folds. her comment reminded you of the pizza, and you found yourself amused at how much things had changed in just a few hours.

"last-meal-on-death-row good?" you joked, and melissa seized the moment of levity to latch onto your clit. you cried out before remembering jacob was sleeping in the next room. you clapped a hand over your mouth.

"mhmmmmm," she moaned in agreement, and the vibrations on your bundle felt incredible. "but if you're still crackin' jokes, i'm not doin' my job."

with that, she shut you up completely. her tongue poked at your clit between harsh sucks. your back arched and melissa changed her strategy, prodding at your entrance with her tongue while her fingers took over on your clit. when her tongue penetrated you, you bit down on your hand to keep from screaming.

"i said i wanna hear you, remember?" melissa pulled out to chastise you.

"but jacob—" you managed.

"is passed out. he's dead to the world. now sing for me, angel," melissa's tongue dove back into your weeping cunt and lapped at your walls. you wailed her name.

"oh, mel, right—ahhh—there!" you mewled as her tongue teased your most sensitive spot. now that she'd located her target, melissa changed her play once again. two fingers replaced her tongue and crooked into your g-spot while her mouth returned to your clit. "close..."

melissa nodded her permission, her mouth busy with your button. with another hard roll of your clit between her lips and drive of her fingers into your sweet spot, you fell apart. you moaned and cried unbidden as she worked you through your orgasm, which felt twice as powerful thanks to the intoxication factor. your body shook in the grip of seemingly endless waves of heat.

your climax eventually died down and you squirmed away from melissa's touch. your mouth opened in dismay when instead of staying by your side, she stood up and disappeared into her closet.

after a short while, the older woman reappeared by your side. she was now nude and sporting a long, girthy strap-on. she placed a few other items on the nightstand, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the thick faux cock. unless it was to look at her gorgeous tits, which swung with her every move. she was a goddess.

"okay, sweets, i'm gonna spell this out nice and slow because i know your brain is a little messy right now," she said as she crawled on top of you. "i'm gonna fuck you with my strap. and i know it's so big, but i have this to help you take it."

melissa reached over to the nightstand and retrieved a green mini wand vibrator. her intentions were clear, and you gulped. the redhead peppered kisses all over your face in reassurance.

"now relax, little love. let me in," melissa instructed as the wand buzzed to life. she smeared your wetness around your clit with her fingers, then pulled back its hood to position the vibrator tightly against your nub. even the lowest setting was a shock at such a direct angle.

while you were distracted trying to adjust to the clitoral stimulation, melissa aligned the tip of the dildo with your entrance and pushed in. you both groaned, and you felt yourself stretch around the toy. melissa turned up the vibrations on your clit as she progressed to being fully seated inside you.

"that's a good girl, so brave," melissa cooed. you thrashed underneath her, the sensations overstimulating you. the pain of the intrusion staved off a powerful orgasm from the wand vibrator.

again, you wondered if the drugs were messing with your mind—the dildo felt indistinguishable from a part of mel's body, and you were full to the brim of her.

as she began to rock her hips back and forth, you saw her bite her lip. you assumed that the strap had some kind of clit attachment for her based on the telltale signs of pleasure.

melissa built up a steady rhythm and drank in your pathetic sounds of pleasure. her tits swung in your face with every thrust, and you made a mental note to give them proper attention next time. with another tactical increase to the wand's speed, you felt yourself approaching the edge once more.

"you gettin' close? yeah, i can tell. feels too good to hide it, huh bunny?" that was a new one. you clenched at her words and she set the wand to its maximum power, rubbing it up and down on your clit. your vision went white and you spun out of reality as you came. "that's my girl. good little princess, coming so hard for me."

with a few more thrusts, melissa also came to a release. she shuddered and shimmied her hips at random while she rode it out. as soon as she recovered, she turned off the green wand and relieved you. next, she eased herself out of and off of you.

with a chaste peck to your lips, she sat upright and reached for the nightstand. she smiled at your fucked-out expression as she laid out the pajamas she'd picked out for you.

you watched in awe as she took off the strap and put on her own sleep clothes. her red hair was wild from the night's activities and glowed like a warm hearth against the white backdrop of her walls.

in your state, you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with melissa and fall asleep. but she insisted that you get ready for bed so that you'd be comfortable through the night. she guided you into the bathroom and gave you a new toothbrush to use.

returning to the bedroom, you found a silky green nightgown with flowers on it waiting on the bed for you. given your exhausted and intoxicated state, melissa had to help you into it. neither of you minded. as a reward for your cooperation, she gave you a kiss.

the two of you snuggled into bed, tucked in together with you curled up against her chest. the tides of slumber lapped at your feet.

"g'night, lovebug," melissa whispered as you drifted off. "sleep well. see you in the morning."

and tomorrow would be the first of a lifetime of tomorrows waking up in her arms.

[thedarkerobsessions]

random astro observations pt.3

I'm not an astrologist, I'm only an observer. These are my personal observations.

Sun/5h- these people make great directors, producers, actors, and writers too. Could be a talent here in sport activities and sometimes they attain fame and a huge amount of wealth if they turn professionals. Sun in 5h makes the native strong. Can manipulate things in order to remain in the focus of the public. Tendency to have financial difficulties because of their excessive calculative nature and over-confidence.

Jupiter in 9th and 12th house will destroy any of their enemies

I feel like cancer moons naturally have the more developed characteristics of a cancer than a cancer sun. Every cancer sun I've met had more negative characteristics of the cancer such as being secretive, sneaky, cold. moody, and manipulative. The cancer moons I've came across had more of the positive traits of the cancer such as being nurturing, gentle, soft, and kind. Empaths. Cancer suns are most definitely empaths as well. Personally i just think that cancer is uncomfortable placed in the Sun, leading them to feeling uncomfortable being vulnerable. Similar to Scorpio, they can be skeptical, quiet, closed off, and have the "get them before they get me" kind of mindset. I believe they choose to have sympathy for others, only when they want to or actually feel for them. They are more closed off than cancer moons in my opinion.

Virgo Risings are very meticulous about everything, but one random thing their usually very OCD about is their bed. Their the types to make their bed, you lightly sit on the edge right after, and they start freaking out on you. Very detailed orientated, they pay close attention to people and are also very focused on themselves. Huge critics of themselves and sometimes others.

Mercury in Virgo are excellent writers and poets. They are phenomenal even at a young age in ELA/writing classes. They know how to express themselves perfectly, and they're highly analytical people. They know just what to say, and exactly how to say it. Excellent problem solvers as well.

[ririblogsss]

Ok so I've read that OCD, can be a by product of trauma.

So what if Danny doesn't relize he is deeply traumatized by the events that happened in his early childhood. By that I mean with all the weapons and chemicals spills around his house and of course his untimely death.

He noticed that his home has no order whatsoever and that's what made it dangerous to live in. He only found comfort in his own room because it was the only space the could truly control, and make sure it was safe.

He started associating organization and cleanliness with safety and security. He has underling fear of coming into contact with contaminants, and that it will bring his whole world to collapse if he does indeed come into contact with one.

So lets say that a revel gone wrong, and Dannys put into foster care and then handed into the Wayne family.

At this point the Bats know that Danny used to be phantom, because lets be real they would immediately figure it out. Yet Danny has no clue they are the bats. He just believes they are a really big family with too much money to know what to do with it.

So Danny someone who has no clue he has OCD but presents most if not all the characteristics.

For instance:

Danny subbing the same spot on the rug for hours trying to get rid of it. Because in his mind if that spot stays bad things will happen.

On another instance he is seen organizing and reorganizing his shelf on a very specified order and continuously going back until he is satisfied.

When he goes to eat he always asks if the food was washed and cleaned properly multiple times.

He always counts if all his cleaning supplies he keeps are there in the morning.

He has a very strict schedule in which he doesn't break and refuses to break, especially his cleaning schedule.

Now the Bats are completely aware of this, and instead of making feel bad about it they help him and reassure him every time.

Examples:

Danny found that in the living room the rug was too dirty, because of the constant influx of people bringing in dirt with them. Of course Alfred always cleans it, but Danny needs to make sure himself. So one of the siblings would help him clean the rug his way, as Danny does it in a very specific way.

Another example is when Danny started cleaning during a movie night because of all the popcorn that was dropped on the floor. The rest just stopped the movie and helped him clean the area, and then resumed the movie careful not to spill more popcorn.

At one point the family was concerned because Danny was moving into a more dangerous zone of the compulsions, such as scrubbing his hands raw because he accidentally touch something 'dirty' without his special gloves.

So they made Bruce ask him if he wanted to go to a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist for his OCD. And Danny just said he didn't have OCD he just wanted things to be clean and organized like everyone else.

in the end he was convinced to go to a therapist so he could learn to manage living with OCD, but he was endlessly happy that he had people to fall back to that didn't judge him, and instead helped him out.

note:

(I just want to say that I don't have OCD myself but a lot of my family members do have it, and ive seen how it affects their daily lives. And I wanted to bring to light that people can't control their obsessions/compulsions but they can learn to manage it so they can live calmer with less anxiety. So I hope I made it as realistic as possible and didn't sound stereotypical or offensive)

[nineblooddances-if]

NINE BLOOD DANCES

Nine Moons for the Nine Circles of Hell

Ruled by Nine Siblings. Or better known as the Commanders of Hell. Each believed to carry a role in the natural world and each a leader of the Devil’s Army. Each Commander is the personification of their circle and is made with a part of The Devil’s Body.

His Brain. His Genitals. His Stomachs. His Lungs. His Eyes. His Tongues. His Flesh. His Ears. And lastly his heart.

With each part, combined with that of a woman of a different species, flourished the consciousness of the circle, and then from a piece of the circle, a body was molded, creating each commander.

Yet with no one to rule over them.

For the Devil has many things to do and does not have the time to watch over the things he created. So, he gets an idea. A funny idea.

For he wishes not to strip himself of more. So, he goes to a mortal man. One who knew all that of the world, a man who had everything that the mortal heart could desire. Expect love–Yes love. For there is a difference between idolization and obsession and honest love. The mortal man had not that, and so the Devil laughed and lured this man to his death. And when no one showed genuine care for the man at his funeral, he fell into despair.

And the Gods who refused to hear his prayers before now stared upon him and pitied him. And sent the mortal man a gift in order to ease the loneliness.

A gift the Devil needs.

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

✶ [DEMO]

✶ [PATREON]

✶ [KO-FI]

✶ [DISCORD]

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You were a gift. Now to whom? No one knows.

All that matters is that you are a gift and not like any of the others of your species. Uniqueness and importance oozes from every fiber of your being. You're important. Everyone says you're important. But why you're so important?

Who knows?

You must figure out what makes you so special and different. You must figure out what drives you through all circles. And you have to figure out why the nine commanders of Hell all have their eyes upon you and wish to have you by their side.

All before the fall of the ninth moon.

☽☽✶☾☾ Customizable MC

✶ [Name, Species(human, fallen angel, vampire, succubus/incubus, etc), Personality, Gender, Pronouns] ✶ [Appearance (markings, scars, wings, tails, horns, ears, etc), Traits, Love Language, Allergies, Diet, Piercings, Aesthetics, and more]

☽☽✶☾☾ Ability to have certain traits, likes, and disabilities

✶[Favorite Foods, Smoking/Drinking Habits, & More] ✶[ADHD, OCD, Depression + more] ✶[Hearing Aids, Prosthetic Arms or Legs, and choosing how you lost your limb]

☽☽✶☾☾ Options that have an effect on romantic and platonic relationships.

☽☽✶☾☾ Choose between nine romanceable Love Interests or None at All.

☽☽✶☾☾ Stats, Personality, and MC Characteristics that will affect the story and characters.

[Harem Route & Poly Routes Optional]

| IMPORTANT VIEWINGS OF CERTAIN FEATURES | ✶Ear Piercings

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 1ST CIRCLE—LIMBO—

COMMANDER AAPO I LIBERTAS

── THAT OF THE DEVIL’S BRAIN

✶ Personality: Aapo is an overly confident, charismatic man who is proud of the ranking he holds, being that he is ranked above his siblings and seen as the current ruler of the Nine Circles. Aapo walks and talks with a smile on his face and radiates this atmosphere of freedom, which is quickly erased by this underlying need for control, and he demands it. He has no reservations to confirm that. Many fear him despite his faux cheery attitude and overly relaxed posture.

✶ Appearance: He stands at [6’1FT ~ 188CM] with pale brown colored skin that is littered with warm brown freckles. He had deep-set shaped eyes while his eyes were the darker color shades of the rainbow, that fluctuated depending upon mood but remained a deep emerald green. He has short mahogany brown hair with a short fringe that seems messy. He’s lean and long, with long legs and arms. Always wearing overly vibrant and eccentric suits of greens and browns, decorated with bronze and gold.

──"CAMBION"—AMAB—HE/HIM ──PANSEXUAL [MASC PREFRENCE]

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 2ND CIRCLE—LUST—

COMMANDER ANIL/AIDEN II LUXURIA

── THAT OF THE DEVIL'S GENITALS

✶ Personality: Anil is a self-assured, arrogant, aloof, hotheaded woman. Always wearing a scowl or frown of some sort. Her mood changes just as quickly as the wind and follows that of the hierarchy. She demands respect and will expect it. Many of the others stay out of her way and allow her to do as she pleases, since she has no desire to disrupt anything and follow the rules in place. Unless they get in the way of her desires.

✶ Appearance: She stands at [6’2FT ~ 192CM] with deep chocolate brown skin with no blemishes or scars. She has bedroom eyes that are a deep navy blue but appear black until in candlelight. Anil’s hair is jet black hair reaches her waist and is curly, while wet it reverts into a more coily texture. She has long legs and a waist and adds to her height by wearing dark blacks and blues, wearing heels, with a subtle male pirate aesthetic, wearing silver with everything. With the remains of two torn leather wings upon her back, with a long and heavy black scaled tail of a crocodile.

──"INCUBUS/SUCCUBUS"—AFAB—HE/SHE ──OMNISEXUAL

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 3RD CIRCLE—GLUTTONY—

COMMANDER ALICE III GULA

──THAT OF THE DEVILS STOMACH

✶ Personality: Alice of the three siblings is by far the kindest of them. With a laid-back attitude. She is blunt but kind in her words, and the most approachable. She, just like her Aapo and Anil, expects respect due to her rank, though she cares little about enforcing it, especially with her "siblings". However, she has a mean streak when hungry and can become aggressive toward those who are men or those masculine in nature.

✶ Appearance: She stands at [5’7FT ~ 175CM] with warm ivory-colored skin, that’s covered in what looks to be scars, that are prominent on her throat, the back of her hands, her palms, and her knees which are small scars, while the entire along her collarbone, slanting cut across her entire stomach, and along the outside of both thighs seem like bigger scars, but they’re not. They are instead different mouths with sharklike teeth and crimson red tongues. That she keeps closed unless extremely hungry. Alice also has yellowish blonde hair that is a messy pixie cut, with an eye patch covering her right eye. She always has deep monolid-shaped eyes that are a vivid orange color. She has a sheer clothing aesthetic as while as a leather aesthetic, wearing many shades of orange, black, and white with gold. Accompanied by the small horns of a deer, a shade of white, and the tail of a deer.

──"VAMPIRE"—AFAB—SHE/HER ──BISEXUAL [FEM PREFRENCE]

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 4TH CIRCLE–GREED—

COMMANDER ERIC/EDWARD IV AVARITIA

── THAT OF THE DEVIL'S LUNGS

✶ Personality: Eric is the quietest of the siblings, rarely speaking unless directly spoken to. He is a loner and prefers to be alone. He is also one of the only siblings who dislikes the hierarchy of siblings, and rarely spends his time commanding his circle, opting to be away, spending his time exploring the other parts and various layers of Hell and the unique punishments.

✶ Appearance: Eric stands at [6’5FT ~ 200CM] with pale skin. With the rest of his features hidden beneath a black cloth that hides his eyes. His black cloth also replicates bandages that covered various parts of his arms and legs. He has shoulder-length curly black hair that he keeps in a ponytail. He has a Dark Victorian aesthetic wearing black, red, and yellow.

──"DHAMPIR"—AMAB/AFAB—HE/HIM/SHE/HER/IT/ITS ──GRAYROMANTIC—PANSEXUAL

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 5TH CIRCLE—WRATH—

COMMANDER LOUIS V IRA

── THAT OF THE DEVILS EYES

✶ Personality: Louis is a confident, arrogant, egotistical, smart man. Who revels in his circle enjoys using his influence on lower-ranked demons and enjoys spending time with higher-ranked demons. He also throws extravagant parties and chooses to spend most of his time with the Devil, who is the embodiment/avatar of Wrath. Louis tends to his duties well, despite his nasty temper.

✶ Appearance: He stands at [5’7FT ~ 175CM] with limestone-covered skin round bright blue and red heterochromic eyes and short blonde hair that fades into red that cut like a jellyfish. He dresses like that of kings and queens, with a 16th-century royalty aesthetic, wearing that of gold and red. He also has the horns of a ram that are a beautiful gold.

──"HUMAN"—AMAB—HE/THEY ──DEMISEXUAL

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 6TH CIRCLE—HERESY—

COMMANDER GABRIEL VI MENDAX

── THAT OF THE DEVILS TONGUE

✶ Personality: Gabriel is someone who speaks only of rumors and half-truths. Many don't trust a word he says, and you must force the truth out of it. He gets a lot of humor leading people astray with his words. Even though he is quite knowledgeable and level-headed. He prefers to use his wisdom in more trickster ways, unless threatened, he quickly breaks. Outside of his lies, he is quite kind and fair, yet due to his tongue, no one believes his kindness.

✶ Appearance: He stands at [5’9FT ~ 180CM] with bronze-colored skin and long straight dark brown hair that he keeps in a thick braid, decorated with purple snapdragons, lavender, and vines. Gabriel has a soft flowy cottagecore aesthetic wearing colors of white and purple. While upon his back he has two large gray feathered wings that he keeps tucked away.

──"FALLEN ANGEL"—AMAB—HE/SHE ──AUTOSEXUAL

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 7TH CIRCLE—VIOLENCE—

COMMANDER DAMEION VII VIOLENTI

──THAT OF THE DEVILS FLESH

✶ Personality: Dameion is laid back, mischievous, charismatic, and cocky. Since he has one of the most popular circles, he garters high respect despite being the seventh. He has overbearing pride and follows the hierarchy of the circles. Still, you will not find Dameion without a cocky smile and relaxed posture no matter where he is. Which leads him to having and being loved by many. Everyone practically swoons when he walks into the room or speaks. This doubles when amongst full-blooded bloodhounds, due to him being able to have a body, unlike them.

✶ Appearance: He stands at [5’9FT ~ 180CM] with honey-colored skin with black armband tattoos upon his wrists and ankles. He has short, shaggy black hair and deep red eyes. With a formal aesthetic, always wearing suits or a more military-type aesthetic. He has two long black tails of a wolf and wolf ears that hide amongst his hair with two red horns of a bison.

──"BLOODHOUND"—AMAB—HE/HIM ──POLYSEXUAL

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 8TH CIRCLE—FRAUD—

COMMANDER LUCY OR LUCIUS VIII FICTUS

──THAT OF THE DEVILS EARS

✶ Personality: They are an untrusted liar, fake, fraud. Dawning on various masks and looking to deceive whoever they need to deceive. Taking upon titles, achievements, and anything to further their lie, and when it all backfires, they run away and never get caught. Due to this, they are never in hell, nor in their circle, in fact, it's hard to get in touch with them. They also spend a lot of time within the different underworlds and heavens, trying to gain something from the divine. Only to be sent back to Hell without punishment. They are tricksters and unreliable, with no real redeeming qualities.

✶ Appearance: They stand at [5’8FT ~ 178CM] with thick curly gray hair with white faded ends. Their hair is short to their chin and left alone. They have hooded gray eyes and short-bison-like horns with gray bat wings that fade into black with a long rat-like tail. They have varying styles but settle on clothing far more revealing. Wearing pinks and whites.

──"IMP"—[SELECTABLE GENDER] ──GAY OR LESBIAN [SELECTABLE SEXUALITY]

── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ✶ ⋅ ⋅ ──

PERSONIFICATION OF THE 9TH CIRCLE—TREACHERY—

COMMANDER TRENT IX PRODITIO 

──THAT OF THE DEVILS HEART 

✶ Personality: Trent is a sweet talking and kind person. Always understand and be sympathetic. He’s easy-going and easily trusting. He’s a very honest person and falls into his roles, whilst being obedient and submissive. Not wanting to break rules without important reason. He’s a big man with an honest and open heart and tries to live past his title.  

✶ Appearance: He stands at [7’5FT ~ 230 CM] with tan scarred skin and freckles. He has large heterochromic eyes, his right olive and the left mustard yellow. He has messy brown hair that he keeps in his face, partially hiding his eyes. He bulky and tall, but always hunching over with feathered ears that are dark brown and long wispy split bird tail that is also dark brown. Trent wears many colors yet sticks to neutral tones and dark green. 

──"NEPHILIM"—AMAB/AFAB—HE/HIM  ──PANSEXUAL 

AVAILABLE POLY RELATIONSHIPS

TO BE DETERMINED

ⓒ 2023 CVLUTOSGAMES & nineblooddances-if — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[alexandraisyes]

In light of the recent ableism on my feed, I'd like to reiterate that I am a clinical sociopath, I have traumagenic ASPD, and I'm not ashamed of it because it's out of my control. It's as much a neurodivergent disability as autism/ADHD/OCD/etc is, and people with ASPD deserve as much respect as anyone else. Here's some key ohrases that are considered ableistic language when referring to someone who has ASPD.

"You're a psychopath" or "You're a sociopath" - These terms are often thrown around casually or used as insults, which stigmatizes and oversimplifies complex mental health conditions. This one is the only really tricky one, because you shouldn't assume what strain of ASPD someone has, nor should you apply it to someone who doesn't have ASPD. You can call someone with ASPD a socio/psychopath as long as it's not in a derogatory manner and they have confirmed they are okay with being referred to as such (like myself).

"You have no empathy" - While reduced empathy can be a characteristic of ASPD, using this as a blanket statement can be dehumanizing and dismissive.

"You're just evil" - Labeling someone as inherently evil because of their condition contributes to harmful stereotypes.

"People like you can't change" - This phrase reinforces the misconception that individuals with ASPD are incapable of personal growth or improvement.

"You're dangerous" - Assuming that everyone with ASPD is violent or a threat to others perpetuates fear and stigma.

"You don't care about anyone but yourself" - This phrase reduces the person to a stereotype and ignores the nuances of their experiences and behaviors.

"You're just a manipulator" - This phrase reduces complex behaviors to a negative stereotype, ignoring the underlying struggles that someone with ASPD might face.

"You must be a criminal" - Associating ASPD with criminal behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes and ignores the diversity of individuals with the disorder.

"You're heartless" - This phrase dehumanizes the person and dismisses any capacity for emotional depth or connection.

"You can't be trusted" - Assuming that someone with ASPD is inherently untrustworthy is unfair and contributes to social isolation.

"You don't have a conscience" - This phrase oversimplifies the nature of ASPD and ignores the complexities of morality and behavior in individuals with the condition.

"People like you are born bad" - This statement implies that individuals with ASPD are inherently flawed or evil from birth, which is both stigmatizing and scientifically inaccurate.

"You should be locked up" - Suggesting that someone with ASPD should be institutionalized or incarcerated solely based on their diagnosis promotes fear and discrimination.

"You're incapable of love" - Assuming that someone with ASPD cannot experience or express love is reductive and perpetuates harmful myths.

"You have no morals" - This statement unfairly labels individuals with ASPD as completely lacking in ethical principles, ignoring the complexities of their experiences. Morals are things humans are taught, not things we are born with.

Assuming any of these things about somoene with ASPD that you don't personally know is just as ableist as assuming someoneyou don't know who has autism does or doesn't need accommodations based on how "normal" they seem to you (just an example).

Don't be ableist.

[hadesoftheladies]

actually, I DID have gender dysphoria as a teenage girl without being exposed to anything about it on the internet, on top of "racial dysphoria" and body dysmorphia

there were points I DID want to kill myself because i wasn't, or bleach my skin or change my body, i would have done anything to be a white boy at one point

which is both sad and funny to me because i remember two of my then good friends explain being enby and transgender to me and me being like "that doesn't make any sense" and it's because of trans-discourse we eventually broke up. the closest i ever got to accepting trans-ideology was transmedicalism with weak support for "queer" culture. i did not understand pronouns, but i understood dysphoria. but i did not understand how one could be a man or woman without the sex characteristics.

how did i heal?

one, i left church. that was one of the places i was most scrutinized for my physical body. two, i distanced from my parents, especially my mom. who often made my ocd and body-image worse (not because she was mean, but because she was always fretting about "decency"). three, i focused on bettering my personal space. writing, reading, watching my comfort shows, getting the focus off me. four, i started eating better, and my body became less burdensome. i stopped getting horrible period pain. five, i surrounded myself with self-confident women and stopped trying to resurrect toxic friendships with girls and boys (especially boys). started eliminating each toxic friend and focusing my efforts on healthier relationships. six, i'd started educating myself on my own history, watching and listening to more black and African people. even when i didn't enjoy what they made or resonate with it, i found i appreciated the experience and could allow myself to hate or love whatever i found.

by the time i discovered radical feminism, this was like, the final step for me: consuming women-centric literature and media. this was HUGE. i'd see paintings and photography of women in all shapes, colors and sizes. i'd listen to master musicians, read women philosophers, anthropologists, etc. this started mending a lot of what caused initial disquiet when it came to my dysphoria or dysmorphia.

basically, i took myself out of bad environments (especially those which force you to scrutinize every detail about yourself, like social media, i took long breaks from that), drew boundaries with people i couldn't get rid of, learned about myself (ocd, dyscalculia, anxiety, female biology) so that i developed understanding and could empathize, stopped centering men and white people.

now, while there's still a hint or trace of dysmorphia and dysphoria, it doesn't plague my life. it's like the occasional itch. more of a mild temptation to go down a dark hole than an actual threat. and i've learned how to handle those.

i learned the root of things. not just my history, but the root of how society worked and how it affected me. and i'm still learning, and my life is still improving.

so yeah, girls and women going through this is normal and common. anyone who is used to who they are being shameful is more at risk (like gnc lgb kids), but you can recover. usually better if you get out of the places that are making you sick.

[lemonycheesecakes]

Can we just take a moment to think about how amazingly the TOTA characters show the unspoken reality of how mental health issues can affect a person?

someone who experiences mental health issues as a teenager and doesn't finish school. He is disadvantaged when trying to get more education (due to the education system not providing support to those struggling mentally) and is also disadvantaged when he tries to enter the working world.

A girl with a dysfunctional and abusive family trying to cope with her own teenage pregnancy and death of a child that was the result from rape. This causes her to struggle to have healthy relationships and gives her a warped perception of love, family and independence, even well into adulthood.

someone who develops schizophrenia and will permanently be at risk of loosing his jobs and damaging his career (mainly because of protected characteristics not existing at the time - but some truth still holds in that today). The constant misunderstanding of how his disorder affects him drives him to be suicidal.

A mother who's child dies from a disease and she develops severe germaphobia and OCD from the mental impact. Her marriage deteriorates due to her husbands lack of understanding and acceptance of her disorder. She copes by developing a parent-like relationship to a teenager, not being able to accept the death and the fact that her marriage will never again be in a good enough condition to have another child and be a happy family.

A husband who is also struggling with the mental impacts of his child dying from a disease. Even though his character isn't explored much, it's clear he struggles to cope when his wife develops severe issues and gets sent to a mental hospital, leaving him with no support. Due to the general lack of understanding of mental health issues in the 90s and his own personal misunderstandings, he tries to pressure his wife into becoming "normal" again by trying to make her feel ashamed for her disorder. He loves her and wants her back, but he doesn't know how to make their relationship work around her disorder, so he doesn't come to acceptance with how she is mentally impacted and so tries to force her to change.

A middle aged man who's career has never set off and so has no money. He doesn't have any family (aside from his grandma whom he has a complicated relationship with and leaves halfway through the show) and has only had failed romantic relationships. He resorts to alcoholism as a way to cope. Despite his life being considered a disaster, he is considered the most healthy and capable main character due to him not having any sort of condition. People only expect mental health issues to affect the characters with disorders, leaving him misunderstood and without support.

Keep in mind, THIS WAS MADE IN THE 90S! Gosh, I fucking love Donna Franceschild. She wrote mental health issues (specifically ones affecting women) more brilliantly and with more truthfulness and understanding than most writers today. She's like the Sylvia Plath of the 90s. If only her work wasn't so obscure.

[harmonysanreads]

HARMONYYY i just finished the penacony quest and OH MY GOD. the emotional damage wtf... and the murderer 😕 i honestly don’t think anyone could’ve foreseen that

on another note, sunday really does have huge yandere potential !!! (i was swooning the entire time he was on screen im sorry.) he literally isn’t beating the allegations at all. even the other characters comment on how weird it is for him to casually keep a model of the golden hour, because what in the control freak 😭

he seems like he’d play dollhouse with darling. after all, in a place like that, every single aspect of it is under his thumb — literally. having that much control over your circumstances is a reassurance. oh, are the placeholder models crashing? don’t worry dear, he can fix the malfunctions. he can even make them speak more realistically for you. he can give anything to you, even change the layout of the place entirely if you’re bored of it. you want to get back to normal size? well, he can’t quite do that just yet, please understand..

or if he pulls that weird interrogation magic thing on them. darling who just lies through the entire thing, and he uses this to scare them about the death countdown while not mentioning the part that he has the power to really just cancel it in the end. though, the same trick won’t work on them twice. at least the process gets darling to become part of the family in the end.

not to mention the spies he has everywhere. stupid birds watching you in every corner…

idk i just want to hold him and shake him aggressively. out of love, of course.

- 🕯️

When I tell you I've lost sleep over the thought of just how much more Sunday is probably capable of doing, nonnie.

If he has access to technology and power like this, which are all unrestricted for his personal use moreover, imagine the things he's hiding. And imagine farther the things he had to do to get to where he is today, another dash of spice to the mix. I went back to his scenes and did some thinking. The me-slandering-Sunday is obviously a joke but I really, really hope people just don't focus on the morally-gray and questionable aspects of him and completely disregard his other characteristics now.

If you think about things from his perspective, he really is just trying his best to keep the image of The Family. But the loss of probably the only person he trusted with his heart and the disregard to bring justice to that case from The Family's side, compelled him to put his agenda first (as he himself mentions that he allowed Aventurine to pull that stunt so that it'd lure Gallagher out). What we get from this is, while Sunday is an extremely dedicated member of their faction, he had to learn to be selfish in certain situations to save his and Robin's backs.

The desire to control usually comes from a feeling of helplessness. We can make some speculations based on the current information of why Sunday has these tendencies, I've also seen some people say he has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) but, we can't be sure until his full lore drops. Another thing to note about Sunday is how lonely he probably is, especially at present. The Family is in chaos, the situation of Robin, external forces' traps, the Charmony festival's deadline and he doesn't even have one person he can sit down with and not question their motives. He really must want to rest just as much as the characters around him are suggesting.

So basically, Sunday is a multi-layered character, just like Aventurine. He's definitely a politician, is what I'll say. Even though he is a control freak whose motives are hard to guess, he's still that little boy fighting for his and Robin's shared dream inside.

[neonspectrumdreams]

Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques are a psychological method to end flashbacks, anxiety attacks, and negative thought spirals. Anyone can use these but they are especially helpful for interrupting symptoms of mental illness like OCD obsessions, panic attacks, or PTSD flashbacks.

Grounding techniques allow us to step back from a cyclical thought that is causing us distress. They allow us to let go of thoughts that feel overwhelming and uncontrollable. Geounding techniques give us control over our mind.

They are very helpful for disengaging from traumatic memory flooding if self-exploration gets out of hand. For this reason, they are often used to come back from overwhelming thoughts/memories during EMDR therapy.

Grounding techniques are similar to mental techniques like meditation. Meditation can also be used as a grounding technique - it provides a similar benefit.

I Spy

Pick any color (or any other distinguishing characteristic, such as shape.) Find 9 things around you that are that color. If you are still experiencing the negative thought loop after finding 9 items, repeat the exercise with a new characteristic. Keep finding sets of 9 items until you feel calm.

5x5

Experience 5 things around you with your 5 senses. Look at 5 different items near you. Feel the texture of 5 different items near you. Listen for 5 different sounds in your immediate environment. Identify 5 different scents near you. Taste 5 different flavors. It may not be possible to find 5 experiences of each sense depending on where you are (particularly taste,) so it is okay to move on from categories that do not have easily accessible sensory experiences. Repeat this until a sense of disconnection or distraction from negative thoughts is attached.

Ground in Senses

It is easy to use sensory stimuli to ground. Focusing on an experience that we perceive with one of our senses, such as touching a soft blanket, looking at a kaleidoscope, preparing and then drinking an orange juice, smelling a rose, or listening to a song, can be used to bring us back to the present and disengage from negative thought loops. Some people continue one or more sensory processes until they feel better, others set a timer and do it for a set time such as 5 or 10 minutes.

If a sensory experience that you associate with being calm or happy will make the process easier; we attach feelings to many things, and it is helpful to be aware of what feelings we associate with things such as flavors or textures. For instance, we may feel an extra sense of comfort from touching a childhood blanket that we associate with nostalgic and comforting childhood memories. It is not necessary to use a sensory experience that we associate with something else to ground, but it is helpful and is something to be mindful of.

Simple Process

These are a set of similar techniques that distract a person from dysphoric internal processes with a simple physical activity. Some people clap their hands or stamp their feet to take themselves out of their thoughts and ground in the present. Some people go for a walk for 5 to 10 minutes. Other people interface their fingers together and move their hands back and forth.

Jarring Stimuli

Some people use physical experiences that are slightly unpleasant or startling to disengage from negative thoughts and feelings and bring themselves back to the present. Some people take cold showers, wash their face with cold water, or run their hands under cold water. Other people go outside when it is cold or hot out. Other people hold onto an ice cube or touch ice.

Showering/Bathing

Many people find that a shower or bath is relaxing. Due to the complexity of sensory experiences encountered during showering or bathing, it is easy to ground in the present by focusing on the changing of temperature and feeling of water on skin and getting lost in the simple process of washing. Bathing and showering have the added bonus of being constructive activities. Some people find doing simple housework like vacuuming or washing dishes is also relaxing and grounding - and can be used to walk away from negative thoughts.

[smilepilled]

Is intersexuality more of a social/internal thing to you?

Like, if someone didn't have any medical reason to be considered intersex, yet was still percieved and treated as if they were the opposite/different sex, would you still consider that intersex?

Or is that something different?

Or any experience with intersexuality based on neurodiergence?

For example, being autistic -> not recognizing sex roles and stereotypes -> being treated/ostracized as a different sex due to that

Asking because we're trying to organize our own thoughts about our own intersex identity, and value your opinions on intersex issues

autism is not a intersex experience. i think indirect ways of defying the SEX BINARY would be intersex, but autism is simply not intersex, it does not indirectly (nor directly) impact the sexual traits of a person. and i say this as a intersex individual

autism can absolutely affect your experiences with sex and gender, but having estranged experiences with sex does not inherently make you intersex. intersex people do commonly recognize the sex roles and stereotypes; they are often PAINFULLY reminded of them throughout their lives.

being intersex is about defying the sex binary, directly or indirectly, with direct to your body. hormones, chromossomes, physical traits, biosex-related parts of your body-- that doesn't include your brain functioning differently than most brains.

short answer: only being perceived as the opposite sex or having such experiences without a physical condition that offers traits does not make you intersex AT ALL. it has a balance between the physical characteristics defying the sex binary AND your own social gendert/sex experiences, but yhe latter alone does not make you intersex. intersexuality cannot be caused by neurodivergence-- autism, adhd, dyslexia/dyslalia/dysgraphia/dyscalculia/dysortographia/etc+, ocd, personality disorders, dissociative disorders, ptsd/Cptsd, and the like CANNOT cause you to be intersex.

{ sorry if this is worded harshly i locked in to explain it }

[querenciasturniolo]

can you do matt & reader who has ocd? (like actual ocd)

i have clinical ocd and i never see any fics ab it☹️☹️

here ⮕ m.s.

word count: 967

warnings: she/her pronouns, hinting of intrusive thoughts, anxious thoughts, crying, angst, comfort, obsessive compulsive behaviors

summary: request

a/n: as someone who doesn’t have clinical ocd, i did a LOT of research before writing this, and i’m still not sure about it. if anything is incorrectly represented, and i mean ANYTHING, please let me know and i will try my best to fix it 💓

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

Your hands felt like they were on fire, but you kept them under the scalding water.

You timed yourself, but each time limit didn’t feel right, so you kept going. You’d been at the sink for over ten minutes, and you couldn’t help but feel a slight relief when the hot water began to run out. Matt was going to be there any minute, and you needed to pull yourself together so he didn’t see this. The moment the knock on the door sounded through your apartment, you felt your body tense.

“Fuck.” You whispered, pulling your hands from the sink forcefully and shutting off the water. Drying your hands felt wrong, too soon, bad, catastrophic, but you needed to let Matt in. You tried convincing yourself you were okay, that you not finishing your routine was fine, but every other thought in your head was telling you otherwise. You couldn’t pull yourself from in front of the sink, every fiber in your being telling you that if you moved from this spot before you finished washing your hands, something bad was going to happen.

You groaned, your hands immediately going to your hair, tugging slightly as you flipped the sink back on and began your scrubbing again. “It’s unlocked!” You said, hoping he couldn’t hear the stress in your voice. Your eyes were locked on your hands, wincing slightly at the feeling of the soap getting into the cracked skin. You felt dirty and wrong, and you couldn’t stop until your hands were clean.

“There’s my girl.” Matt said, pressing a kiss to the back of your head and resting his chin on your shoulder. You were on high alert, even Matt’s sweet gesture feeling like too much. You didn’t speak, your hands still moving at their quick pace under the cooling water. He was quiet, but you could feel how tense he was against you.

You couldn’t stop, not yet. It wasn’t the right time, just a little longer and everything would be okay. Matt wrapped his hands around your middle, resting himself against your back. He was silent, no doubt staring down at your movements and wondering what the fuck was going on. You winced, trying to shake every negative and painful thought out of your head. He didn’t know what you were doing, you tried convincing yourself. You could explain afterwards and everything will be fine.

He doesn’t understand.

He won’t understand.

He’ll leave when he finds out what’s wrong with you.

He won’t be able to handle this.

He couldn’t love you when you were like this.

He wouldn’t understand.

Tears stung your eyes before you could even register you were crying, a choked sob leaving your lips. You shut off the water, relief filling your body as you grabbed the towel and dried your hands, still shaking your head and trying to ward off any more thoughts that could have you spiraling.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Matt finally spoke, turning you around to face him. His eyes were sharp with concern, the blue of his iris’ practically glimmering as he examined your face closely. You were trying to contain your sob, but the strained whine leaving your lips didn’t help anything.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to see that.” You said, the knot in your throat not loosening in the slightest when you swallowed. “I-I understand if you want to leave.”

Matt’s brows furrowed as he pulled you into his chest, holding you to him tightly as you sobbed into his shoulder. “What are you talking about? Why would I leave?” He asked, his voice sounding almost broken.

You sniffed and cleared your throat, feeling as though you were suffocating against him. You didn’t pull away though, as much as you wanted to. “Something is wrong with me. Sometimes, I get these urges. I have to follow through with them, or else I’m convinced something catastrophic will happen.” You said, finally pulling away from Matt and lifting your hands up to show him. You knew what it was, you’d gotten your diagnosis months ago, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

Realization dawned on him as his eyes slowly scanned the dry, cracked and bleeding skin of your hands, another choked sob leaving your lips. “I couldn’t stop, I wouldn’t let myself.” You whispered, Matt’s eyes meeting yours again. “That’s why I said I understand if you want to leave…you couldn’t love me when I’m like this.” You finished, your voice raw and broken.

You felt so lost. You couldn’t stop these urges, and now, the person you loved most in the world saw you at your lowest. Matt shook his head, his hands cupping your cheeks lightly and guiding your gaze to his eyes. His eyelashes were wet, as though he was holding himself together for your sake.

“Nothing, not even this, could ever make me leave. I love you, Y/n. I may not understand it fully, but I’m willing to learn.” He said, your heart pounding in your chest.

He’s lying.

He doesn’t mean it.

He feels bad for you.

It’s just pity.

You winced, closing your eyes tightly and trying to force yourself to look on the bright side. Matt’s thumbs were caressing your cheeks, his touch grounding you ever so slightly as you repeated the words he’d said before in your head, trying desperately to drown out everything else that was screaming through your mind. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before he spoke again, pulling you into his chest and holding you for what felt like centuries.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m here.”

You weren’t cured, his touch and his words couldn’t fix this. But knowing that he wasn’t planning on leaving gave you hope that maybe what he was saying was true.

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @tuktuk34 , @angelcake-222