#Nu mindframe

[zuckarr]

🎞️💗 My 10 Favourite YouTubers 💗🎞️

YouTube is the website I'm most often on. I first joined it in 2008, before it was bought by Google, which allowed me to experience it during its golden years. Prior to becoming a money-making colossus, YouTube was nothing more than a video sharing site, where users could upload virtually anything and get their videos rated with fun little red stars, post bulletins, have an inbox and get DMs, personalize channels with backgrounds, and so much more.

Nowadays, YouTube has changed radically, and in many ways, awfully. On the bright side, it also progressively became a chance for people to grow as video editors on a professional level. I've been watching and appreciating some of them so much that I consider myself to be part of their community.

The kind of YouTuber that I find myself most driven to are the vloggers, aka the folks who talk to the viewers about anything (even personal matters). I like listening to what they tell me, as if we're friends exchanging experiences and opinions in a cafe. I don't always agree with them, but that's alright.

I thought it would be quite nice to list my favourite YouTubers in one single post, in hopes that somebody else on here might discover a few interesting channels.

Nadia Bokody

This girl talks about sex education! Yknow, the thing they could never properly teach us in schools, despite how important it is. Nadia is a lovely woman who's had a lot of sexual experiences (which she has no problems admitting) and is very well informed about plenty of sex-related topics. She's there to chat with you as positively as possible and hopefully teach you a thing or two about your beautiful, private body parts and how to use them respectfully, with a partner or by yourself. Don't miss out!

2. Roly

Body modification, piercings, tattoos, fun and most importantly - fabulousness! These are the primary ingredients for the Roly channel, run by a fantastic gay man who gets a ton of hate and makes the best use of it!

3. Mohammed Agdabi

A black artist who takes deep dives into modern art issues, uncovering viral (and often trivial) Twitter fights and giving insight. Other than that, Mohammed is a great source of tips and encouragement for artists.

4. Aurikatariina

Depression is an invisible plague, and becoming a hoarder is often an even more hidden consequence of mental struggles. The house in your neighbourhood that you never saw the inside of could be filled to the brim with trash and dirt, for all you know. Aurikatariina is simply a cleaner, who loves to help out people who have stopped taking care of themselves, and therefore, of their homes. She compassionately tells the stories of the people she helps, while also giving out amazing tips and hacks for cleaning in the most efficient ways.

5. DottieJames

This girl can be many things, but she is first and foremost a poet. To be more precise, she is an unconventional poet, whose works are a mix of various forms of communication like humming, spelling, writing, reciting, doodling etc. She excels at expressing a gentle and odd uniqueness that sometimes feels hard to grasp. Worth a shot though, probably even two.

6. KnowsBestNever

The duration of KnowsBestNever's videos can be intimidating, but once you start listening, they're over in what feels like barely 10 minutes. This dude's words flow like water, and just like that, he is able to enter the crevices of each topic he chooses to dig into. Listening to him speak is nothing less than a pleasure. He can be thought-provoking in a way that easily resonates with you, forming the impression of having just had the best intellectual chat with a very down-to-earth friend.

7. DutchPilotGirl

Who hasn't wondered what's it like to be a pilot? How do they feel when they fly? Do they get tired of the gorgeous views from the cockpit? How do they return to their homes after a flight to the opposite side of the world? How do they start the airplane? This channel is a great chance for learning about lots of stuff that only pilots know, kindly narrated by a woman pilot who's worked her ass off to get where she is now!

8. Nu Mindframe

Sometimes you don't need a therapist. Sometimes all you need is the advice of a survivor, who has gone through terrible things and has completed her own healing journey by herself. This YouTuber opens up her heart to us and shares everything she has learned through suffering. There is something for each of us in her words.

9. Simnett Nutrition

This vegan bodybuilder adores sharing his tasty recipes, achievements, informations and thoughts! He thrives in positivity, and loves to tell the world how his vegan lifestyle is going. Whenever he smiles at the camera, it feels like the sun is shining. His enthusiasm is just incredible and I dare anyone not to feel engaged in it!

10. Karolina Żebrowska

Niche passions are adorable. This YouTuber loves dated fashion. Show her an old, black and white photograph of a random woman and she will be able to pinpoint exactly the time period she was from, just by looking at her clothes or hairstyle. Isn't that really cool?

[noraheals]

[knowledgeoverknives]

💓Understand Your Attachment Style To Start Healing (Videos Included)💓

The definition of Attachment Styles is: ‘ a pattern of bonding that people learn as they as children, that in adulthood reflects how they interact and behave in relationships ‘.

This was the first realisation I had of why I felt so ´broken’ all the time, why I felt like I was addicted to love and had a fear of being alone and sooo much more it just clicked for me 🥺. Essentially, learning my attachment style helped me understand my relationships(romantic and platonic) and my behaviour.

Use it to understand yourself, your previous/current relationships and how to begin healing.

Take this Quiz to find out your attachment style:

After you do the quiz watch some videos on finding out your attachment style AND ways to begin healing it. Btw it’s can be painful process + remember it doesn’t happen over night but it’s an amazing step in the right direction.

Nu Mindframe is the 🐐 for me. She literally changed my life, I owe everything to her YouTube channel 🥺����🥺💓

Honorable mention: Are You Addicted To Love?

Honestly I haven’t watched her videos in YEARS but that video was my first ever video I watched of hers.

🥺 I’m back on watching her videos today her & she never misses honestly, 6 year later 🥺 She is truely amazing AND an Aquarius (so of course she’s intelligent and well spoken)💓♒️😘

💓

Happy Healing

💓

[disabilityawarenesspride]

[Plain Text: The Narcissistic Abuse Believer To New Age/Alt-Right Conspiracy Theorist Pipeline. / If you genuinely believe in narcissistic abuse, then you are on this pipeline. Think long and hard about whether or not this is really where you want to be. End PT] [Image Descriptions: Image 1: A graphic titled: 5 Signs You Are A "Psychic Empath". A thin white woman in a black dress raises her arms up to the moon. Bullet points beside her read as follows: 1.) You See… Sometimes lights… flashes… orbs… or colors… spontaneously pop up in your field of vision. 2.) You Hear… Sometimes, you hear tones… pitches… and "ringing" in your ears. 3.) You Feel… You literally feel the energy and emotion… of other people… as if it were your own. 4.) You Know… Sometimes you just "know" something… without the awareness of where that knowledge came from! (this can be deeper, universal truth… or something common and mundane) 5.) You Believe… Some empaths are so tapped in that they have what I call "naive optimism" -where they have a sense of the universal connectedness of all things… and the eternal nature of the human spirit, that even in tough circumstances… they "know" all is [caps] ALWAYS [end caps] well. A logo reading "MindJournal" is in the lower right corner.

Image 2: A screenshot of a TikTok containing only the text from a caption that reads: "POV: your talking to a narcissist and their eyes turn black.

Image 3: A screenshot of a YouTube video by Nu Mindframe titled: "Narcissists Are Demons Sent To Destroy and Distract You (Especially Covert Narcis..." The video is paused on Nu Mindframe, a black woman, in the middle of speaking.

Image 4: A screenshot of another YouTube video by Nu Mindframe titled: "Narcissistic Abuse = Spiritual Warfare (They Were Sent To Knock You Off Your Pa..." The video is paused on a frame of an individual sitting in the dark in red lighting with a sinister skull-like face floating in frame beside them. End ID]

The Narcissistic Abuse Believer To New Age/Alt-Right Conspiracy Theorist Pipeline

Let’s say that you are an abuse survivor. Let’s say that you had an abusive parent and/or ex. Let’s say you’re looking for support for abuse survivors, and a lot of the things you’re finding reference the concept of narcissistic abuse. You read more on the topic and begin to identify with a lot of what narcissistic abuse is supposed to be. You think to yourself “yes! this is exactly what I went through!” You research more about narcissists, how to spot them, what makes them tick, all the ways in which they would use and abuse you. You may not even know that NPD is a real disorder. You may not realize that narcissists are, more often than not, survivors of abuse just like you. Maybe you’re just genuinely misinformed. Maybe you just don’t care. A lot of people are here on the pipeline. Granted, this is not a good place to be (nowhere on the pipeline is) as it’s still incredibly harmful to pwNPD, but this is only the beginning.

Enter the Empath. The empath is allegedly a figure who experiences great empathy and compassion and, in turn, seeks to help others. They are generally portrayed as a kind and loving figure. Likewise, the Narcissist is the opposite. They’re evil manipulative abusers who only seek out vulnerable people to hurt, while not caring about the needs or feelings of others. You’ve been doing research for a while, and so you obviously know about the Empath. Let’s say you’ve internalized this idea that the Empath and the Narcissist are juxtaposed figures. Now, let’s take it a step further and say you’ve begun to believe that they have supernatural powers and that they use these powers for good/evil depending on their alignment. Let’s even say that you believe there’s a war going on between the two, that the empaths have to stop the narcissists from enacting their evil onto the world.

Supernatural powers like:

One very important thing we need to understand is that in New Age belief, The Empath and The Narcissist are two very particular figures that play a role in the belief system. To them, it’s not a disorder, it’s something else entirely. You might have noticed that the way some people talk about narcissists is wrapped up in spiritual, new agey language. Many years ago, I came across a YouTube channel that, in hindsight, was very new agey and ableist. I go back to that channel and what is the second video I see?

And if we go down a little further?

Spiritual language. Comparing us to demons, claiming we’re here to sabotage people on their (likely spiritual) paths. That is what a narcissist is in New Age belief. Empaths are here to do good and narcissists are here to do evil.

Now here’s where we get to the good part. If you reject the inherent truth that anyone has the capability of choosing to be a good or bad person, and instead believe that there’s a group of people sent here to do good and a group of people sent here to do evil, then I honestly don’t believe you’re too far off from believing in Starseeds vs Reptillians.

Starseeds are a concept founded in fascism, antisemitism, and white supremacy. It is believed that there is an ongoing spiritual war between the starseeds and the Reptillians, a group said to have been secretly running various organizations on Earth for thousands of years (sound familiar?) The starseeds want to help the Earth ascend to a new age, 5D, the Age of Aquarius, whatever you want to call it, while the Reptillians essentially want to keep that from happening. Honestly, just replace empaths with starseeds and narcissists with Reptillians and it’s pretty much the exact same thing. To New Agers, there’s practically no difference. And once you’ve made it to New Age territory, you might as well be knocking on the alt-right’s door.

There’s so much more about starseeds and Reptillians, and honestly New Age in general, that I just can’t fit into this post, but if you want to learn more, creature-wizard is a good blog with a lot of resources on the subject. I understand that it’s fun to joke about the ridiculous things people say about us (demons and such) but it’s also important to recognize how deeply dangerous narcissistic abuse rhetoric is, and that it leads to nowhere good for anyone. New Age ideology has always been ableist and eugenicist, and it’s been talked about how “starseed signs” are just autistic/ADHD traits, but I feel like the anti narc ableism also needs to be acknowledged. I’ll leave off with this:

If you genuinely believe in narcissistic abuse, then you are on this pipeline. Think long and hard about whether or not this is really where you want to be

[3ladyinred3]

The Emotionally Unavailable Partner | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style (In Depth + Childhood)

[nessafet]

"YOU'RE NOT CRAZY. IT'S YOUR MOTHER" | Signs That Your Parents Are Narcissists

[shaylogic]

Self-help Recomendations

[ ]**"Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect" Jonice Webb +"Running On Empty No More"

[ ]"The Emotionally Absent Mother" Jasmine Lee Cori

[ ]**"Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" Melody Beattie

[ ]"Have You Filled a Bucket Today?" Carol Mccloud

[ ]"The 5 Essential People Skills" Dale Carnegie

[ ]"Assertive Communication Skills for Professionals" Carol Price

[ ]"There is No Good Card for This" Emily McDowell & Kelsey Crowe

[ ]"The Bullet Journal Method" Ryder Carroll

[ ]"5 Love Languages" Gary Chapman

[ ]"The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are" Kevin Leman

[ ]"Self-Compassion: the Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" Kristin Neff

[ ]***"Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" Lyndsay Gibson (fantastic starting point: how different kinds of parental failings affect you and your relationships)

[ ]*"Attached" Amir Levine (Attachment Theory in general)

[ ]*"You Just Don't Understand! Men and Women in Conversation" by Deborah Tannen

[ ]"How to Be Single and Happy" Jennifer Taitz

[ ]"Taking Charge of Adult ADHD" Russell A Barkley

[ ]"Odd One Out: the Maverick's Guide to Adult ADHD" Jennifer Koretsky

[ ]"The Gifts of Imperfection" Brené Brown (Shame studies) +"Braving the Wilderness", "Daring Greatly"

[Haven't read yet but have my eyes on] :

[ ]"Walking on Eggshells" Jane Isay

[ ]"Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD" Gina Pera

[ ]"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling Men" Lundy Bancroft

[ ]"Boundaries" Henry Cloud

[ ]"Mothers Who Can't Love" Susan Forward +"Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life"

[ ]Ash rec: "Weapons of Fitness" Avital Zeisler (self-defense)

Youtube:

[ ]Alain de Bottom / School of Life

[ ]TedTalks

[ ]Psych2Go (recommend "5 Types of Children from Toxic Families")

[ ]*Katie Morton (therapist)

[ ]Nu Mindframe (her vids specifically on attachment issues and Reparenting)

[ ]Charisma on Command (social skills)

PsychologyToday Articles

Key terms/concepts to research:

[ ]Attachment Styles (Anxious, Avoidant, Anxious-Avoidant, Secure)

[ ]Reparenting (yourself)

[ ]Love Languages (Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Touch, Acts of Service, Presents)

[ ]Emotional Abuse

[ ]Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

[ ]Emotional Maturity

[ ]Boundaries (Emotional, Social, Intimate, Professional, etc.)

[ ]Self-compassion

[ ]Mindfulness vs Escapism/Avoidance

[ ]Narcissism

[ ]Psychopath/Sociopath

[ ]Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

[ ]Emotional Vampire

[ ]Codependent, Dependent, Independent, Counter-dependent (also re: codependency > detachment)

[ ]Vicarious/Secondhand Trauma & Compassion Fatigue (nurse, librarian)

[ ]Parentified Child

[ ]Caretaker Personality

[ ]Authoritative Parent

[ ]Transference/projection

[ ]Coping Mechanisms/Skills

[ ]Gas-lighting

[ ]Emotional Labor

[ ]Household Chores Gender Gap

[ ]Over Apologizing & Offense Threshold

[empresspiscea]

RE PARENTING YOURSELF

Notes compiled from Nu Mindframe video of the same title.

Parenting is a combination of nurturing and discipling your child.

Nurturing: Teaching children how to and allowing for them to explore the world.

Discipline: Instilling respect and responsibility for crossing those boundaries.

A lack of discipline creates a narcissist and parents who lack nurturing will hinders a child’s growth in their personal life and emotional expression. Narcissistic parents purposely starve their children of both so there is always the yearning for emotional affection and they don’t discipline them so they can be completely depending on them.

What was your mom’s parenting style? How would you seek the void of her nurturing from others? How did she try to instill discipline in you? Does she have a voice in your head?

This also has me thinking about understanding the duality of my childhood (Gemini 4H), where i lived in this emotionally isolating + toxic space, but I had the space to create what i want and live in my own land once a week. Life with my mom was very emotional draining, due to the discipline she tried to instill in me and it offered no supplementation. Life my father was very emotionally free, but lacked structure and a foundation for expansion (i guess because he was never really around, and when he was we could never do anything.)

gosh, there’s a lot of thoughts racing through my head. 

id love to explore mothering/fathering myself further, so i plan on spending october outlining reparenting from the perspective of my aries moon + taurus saturn natal placements / transits.

[neutraloatmilkhotel]

Nu Mindframe on youtube is honestly such a goddess, such a beautiful soul with incredible videos that have helped me so much on my healing journey i love her 10/10 will recommend

[dream-of-wanting-me]

I am responsible for my own feelings.

Here’s something I’ve started to learn, now that my life has changed, and I’ve taken time to think about my relationships and to feel my feelings.

I am responsible for my feelings. I can calm myself down, I can talk to someone, I can also sit down (or lie down) and think about my feelings.

1. I can calm myself down. First of all this means that I will let myself feel: anger, sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, insignificance, envy, love, hope, joy, trust, longing, self-importance, pride... I used to think that some of these things should not be felt, and the way out of them was to make yourself ashamed for feeling them. The truth is that there’s a reason or two for each of those feelings. I feel them. Someone made me feel them, or something, and I will have to stay in the feeling to be able to get to the reason. My feelings are my flowers, my colors, the music my heart makes. I won’t tear off the flowers, pour bleach on the colors, or play even louder music to deafen out my music. But letting myself feel anger doesn’t mean letting myself lash out at people who don’t deserve it. Letting myself feel envy doesn’t mean seething in envy for long hours or days. Because now I do the second part of calming myself down, and that is:

Treating myself the way a friend would treat me. That used to sound ridiculous to me - reading that I had to speak nicely to myself when I was in emotional pain. It’s easier to digest ‘take good care of your body by feeding it well, and giving it proper rest and exercise’. But when I read therapists saying “talk to yourself, recognise your own pain, practice self-compassion, remind yourself that there is hope, because who else will do it?” That sounded pathetic to my stoic, religious old self. Pat and pamper myself? That’s not my job! But really, people, who else? When you’re on the bus and you’re sad, when you’re hopeless in the elevator, when you’re alone in the middle of a social event, when you feel like crying at work, when you can’t fall asleep at night and you don’t want to wake anybody up, who will soothe you? I found that I can either try to soothe myself or succeed in making myself feel worse. Because there’s a point after which the golden middle of endurance, and by that I mean waiting for the feeling to go away, doesn’t work. So now, in many cases, I try to soothe myself. I’m still a lot better at making myself feel worse or just waiting for it to go away, because I have decades of practice. But I intend to get better at taking care of myself.

After all, this life, this body, mind, this heart, it’s still my house. It was severely undermined and damaged by other people and then neglected and further damaged by me, but I’m still alive and the house is still mine.

There’s also the people who were good to me and helped me do some repairs on the house. They gave me the precious experience of taking care of somebody. They took care of me - helped me calm down, discussed and analysed with me, and talked to me in a soothing way. I’ve done the same for them. So when I practice self-compassion, I actually know what words to use. I know what tone of voice to use. I know what I’m aiming to do.

2. I can talk to someone. Each of us has dozens of things to share every day. We have so many different thoughts, ideas, impressions, worries, news stories, work stories, pet stories, stray cat stories, sunrise and sunset stories, childhood stories, stories from books we read and movies we see and songs we listen to... Don’t think that you have nothing interesting to say. People are super curious. Tell them.

I do that. Some stories I tell two people. And in a week I tell a third person. My closest friend, my lover, my two closest colleagues, my four English students. It’s not a big social circle, but oh, I’m talking all day (well, mostly texting).

With time I built trust with those people. And those I am closest to will know about my emotional life, and they will help me. They are bound to teach me new and useful things, because different human beings learn different aspects of the same truths in their different circumstances.

(And if you can’t think of anyone to talk to, talk to me.)

3. I can sit down and think about my feelings. For example, I did that an hour ago. I recognised that my feelings are harder to manage when I’m tired at the end of a work week. I recognised that my feelings are aggravated by my recent separation from my abusive mother. I remembered the last time I felt this particular feeling, and I noticed similar circumstances around it. I went beyond the feeling to the thought that caused it, to the deeper conviction. 

The feeling that needed soothing was my mind and my heart’s cry for help. because there are things we get used to, and things we’re resigned over, and things we’re ashamed to admit. We don’t think about those things. They are old, deep wounds that bleed into feelings and moods. Thinking about and  sharing those neglected wounds is the way to clean and dress them, and heal the infections.

Sometimes this part, too, involves being my own friend. Until it becomes more natural for me to be my own friend, I will think about the way my friend would treat me: “My friend would notice my mood and ask me about it. How? And how would they ask about the reasons for my mood? What would they say about those reasons? What are the truths that my friend often reminds me about? My friend would check on me tomorrow - so I should check on myself tomorrow.”

I’m not saying that we’re self-sufficient in general, but oh, some dark minutes, some painful mornings, some heavy evenings, some lonely months, we have no other choice. We have to keep walking.

One last thing: my feelings, thoughts and discoveries are usually closely followed by a decision on whether they will be shared, who they will be shared with, when and how much of them will be shared. That’s a lot to think about, but when you have issues, the process can be shortened in several ways: 1. do not share. sharing = bad; 2. share with the usual people, even if they have betrayed your trust; 3. share too early, before you’ve got to the reasons behind your feelings (unless you really need help getting to the reasons); 4. (tied with No. 3) share with someone who will get unnecessarily worried or hurt.

Decisions, decisions. Decisions you make on maintaining the home of your heart.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

I’d like to thank JP Sears for this video on being pathetic

Dr Les Carter at Surviving Narcissism

Dr Abdul Saad (Vital Mind Psychology)

Michele Lee Nieves (From Surviving To Thriving)

Meredith Miller (Inner Integration)

Petra Van Deijl, life coach

Kevin for this video about abusers spilling their gunk into you

Nu Mindframe for her videos, especially this one about re-parenting yourself

[i-am-a-fucking-nerd]

[Image ID: a tweet by Youtube: Nu Mindframe @nu_mindframe that reads “The relationship you have with yourself is the most complicated because you can’t walk away from you. You have to forgive every mistake. You have to deal with every flaw. You have to find a way to love you even when you’re disgusted with you.” End ID]

[ipbchigi]

“YOU’RE NOT CRAZY. IT’S YOUR MOTHER.” Signs That Your Parents Are Narcissists

Source: Nu Mindframe | Reblogged By GL Jones for The CHIGI Family

[stiri-noi]

Căștile de gaming care-ți răcesc urechile în timp ce le porți

[pressgardn-archive]

watching nu mindframe on yt 😌

[high-im-kat]

Check out Nu Mindframe on YouTube, she goes into depth on how to escape this and I hope maybe it'll help someone.

If this resonates with you at all PLEASE, for your benefit, go read this tweet thread on “fawning”