#Now that you're here...can we go now??
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'Scuse me...
Yeah, yeah...this'll be real quick. In n' Out.
And honestly, I don't even think anyone will care if I'm a few minutes late. I mean c'mon...it'll actually make for a better entrance, eh?
#Now that you're here...can we go now??#Yeahhh...we've been standing here all day!!#....Alright. You may go.#FINALLY!!#But you two better change or else!! Can't have you going to the ball in...in THOSE clothes.#Yeah yeah whatever.#Sigh...those dorks.#ask the biggering onceler#biggerler#phase one#ball event#onceler askblog#the lorax#the lorax fandom#the onceler#the onceler fanart#moonmel#moonymelly
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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Waittt, what did you mean with your last post?? I don't want to spoil myself so I'm waiting for the nightmare before christmas event to arrive on the eng server before diving deep into the wiki. But I HAVE to know; were there hints of Lilia joining in for a rerun or a sequel ??? Your big "OR IS IT???" filled me with way too much hope !! please tell me it wasn't a bit : (
there was a little teaser at the end that implied there'll be a sequel event, though we don't really know anything beyond that! I do think it's likely we'll get the other half of the cast in it, even if it's just wishful thinking on my part. 🤞🤞 NIGHTMARE SUITS FOR EVERYONE!!!!
as far as I know there's been no confirmation on whether it's going to be next year's Halloween event or a separate thing (the snow makes me think it'll be more Christmas-themed, or otherwise more related to the plot of the original movie) so. we're probably going to have to wait quite a while before we find out anything solid. :') they really do love just dropping these things on us and then watching us go absolutely wild with speculation while they watch like
#joseimuke games are serious business#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#me the second i saw the question mark at the end: ahhhh so that's why lilia couldn't be in it#(nods sagely) they were saving him for the second one. yes. of course.#to get more into event spoilers though (so stop reading here if you're avoiding them for now!)#this does explain some things i was wondering about!#like the stitch event didn't follow the movie at all so i wasn't really surprised that this didn't either#but i WAS surprised that oogie wasn't so much as mentioned#if he's also being saved for the second part then that makes a lot more sense#though i am sorry that jamil won't get to meet the man made of bugs 😔#however i am very excited for lilia and floyd to wreak chaos across not one but two holidays!#half the characters: now hold on can we talk about this before --#lilia and floyd: (already shoving santa into a bag) KIDNAP THE SANDY CLAWS#i guess the real question is...if this is for next halloween are we gonna get an oogie boy to go along with it#how many handsome animes can they squeeze out of this franchise? more than you'd expect#wait so does this mean the rhythmic being essentially the opening to the movie was like...foreshadowing or something#or am i overthinking it as per usual#(eng i am praying for you that this rhythmic won't get eaten by the music licensing monsters and replaced with some generic instrumental)#(it is SO cute i love it SO much)
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scaryoke zenigata per the loud, enthusiastic requests of my friends (bonus under the cut)
#i uploaded this to twitter months ago but. um. you can understand why im going to be uploading the twitter artchives here now#this joke was stewing ever since the ITS JUST LIKE MY LIFE drawing. lola if you're reading this remember this is all for you#lupin iii#cherry art#its. technically gravity falls too. technically. but no we wont cheat like that
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quick traditional piece for fun ^^
#I dont work traditionally very often because it hurts my hands quite a bit#if it's something that only takes me an hour or so then I can do it#but if we're getting into 2-3+ hour territory...#can't do it :(#theoretically I could pause and come back but when you're mixing colors and stuff that ends up being pretty dang rough#buuuut I'm trying to do more non-computer stuff lately...#so I'll probably do some little things here or there#been sooo tired lately lol sorry#I've been working and dont have much to share unfortunately!#I cant really share MOST of the panels I've been doing#the nature of what I'm writing like... 90% of what I'm drawing right now is legitimately spoilers...#so I can't even share wips!!!#I do have something I'm hoping to get posted soon but I've gotta wait on some other people for it...#anyways#we were legion#zagan#traditional art#art#my art#my ocs#demon#underwater#man why do I tag that other stuff I doubt anyone is going to my blog an searching that
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maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.
#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like#''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not''#..... we can reevaluate ....#btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post#and not be like#what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED#like we all know what i'm referring to here#you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like#DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT?#or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like#NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN#like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye.#ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems#pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental''#no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick#it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue#hence.... therapy!!!!!!!!#i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness#by being like ''oh they can't help themselves''#bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo#you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements#i have ocd i understand#but like. . . .. you know#we both know#this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret''#this post is about. THAT GUY
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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If you see me violently sobbing holding my mutuals close in gently cupped hands don't worry about it
#mutuals#tumblr culture#HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU#YOU'RE ALL SO COOL AND NICE#AND I AM FULL OF SO MUCH ADORATION AND AFFECTION#CAN WE ALL HOLD HANDS OR SOMETHING?#CAN WE CUDDLE?#CAN I GET YOU A DRINK OR A SNACK??#CAN I PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR??#CAN WE TALK AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER#going 2 cry right here right now#you all are very very important to me#I'm going to explode actually#aguh aguh aguh aguh augh augh what is this feeling
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almost 2 years into post-ultra deluxe stanley parable fandom & i think we've all beyond lost the plot
#twinkie talks#like everything i could say right now has already BEEN said & i'm not going to sit here & point fingers & go ' you're wrong you're wrong '#because obviously who am i to say especially when i too have deviated from the main plot by this point. right#interpretation can carry you the farthest from the source material that sometimes just happens#but i'm spending tonight looking back on FRESHLY sparked UD fandom & even further back 2013-2018 fandom#& we are so far from where we were#i do miss old fandom though i'm going back#i'm going INTO the game tonight fellas <- i don't even own it#// tbd
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https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share
did he or did he not lose fans then?
I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:
There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.
Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)
NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.
#louis promo#all this nonsense about this tag or that tag or this or that number is so getting lost in the trees#when the forest is RIGHT HERE: WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WORKING#so for now#I'm pretty done with this discussion unless someone actually engages meaningfully with the content of anything I'm saying#rather than just repeating the same things- but he needs to tag more! or the even more boring-#but you're a larry! if you send me a bitchy response that doesnt actually address any points I've made#I will assume it is because I'm right and you have no rebuttal other than to act like a preschooler because deep down you know it#honestly the discourse around this makes me feel a little sad and scared about the state of literacy and reading comprehension#and just general analytical thinking#but I hope its just that no one over 15 spends their time sending hate anons about fandom#if I'm wrong please come engage in actual conversation! but otherwise... let's just... not#blah blah blah#anyway there's a reason Louis is always so afraid no one will be there for him and that he started out solo era playing those radio fests..#because we are IMPROBABLE we are UNBELIEVABLE we are NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN EXPECT OR COUNT ON#and making nurturing and maintaining that his number one priority ALWAYS is extremely correct and smart#actually#I was originally going to be like here are when there were bot purges here are other artists that have seen numbers go down etc#but then I was like WAIT WHO CARES. You're letting these people dictate the conversation... but the premise is stupid#it DOESNT MATTER#depth v breadth
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the way that you’re acting like trumps vetted plans for mass denaturalization is not something scary and real for a lot of people because you think that people should stop moping about themselves while there is a genocide happening in gaza is insane. two things can be true at once and people are acting like it’s the end of the world because for some people, it very well could be. weird mindset from you honestly, i’m not sure if you’re native and you just don’t consider these things or what
where did i say it wasn't scary 😭 you're simply putting words in my mouth and getting upset over something i never even said.
i don't know in what world you really think "moping" is productive but i'm not holding a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to smile. i literally said "do what you have to do and keep it pushing" if you have to take some time to grieve or mourn then do it but don't shut the world out.
it literally is not the end. this is not me being "unrealistic" or "naive" this is me acknowledging the fact that the fight for liberation never ends, it will never be over, it is a continuous fight that we will all be a part of until the end of our lives. i simply don't see the point in my coming online and telling everyone how terrible and horrible it is, they already know, we all already know, but i can at least encourage them not to fall for all the fearmongering and give them something actionable they can do rather than throwing my hands up and falling into a pit of despair.
#the messages in my inbox right now are unbelievable#also reiterating that we cannot talk about what's happening here without mentioning what's happening in gaza#not sure if YOU are naive and don't consider these things but it is in fact all connected and the US partaking in a genocide for the past#year did directly contribute to this escalation in racism and violence. im not going to ignore that to make some#of my fellow americans feel more comfortable. you're right about one thing and that's that two things can be true at once!#ask#anonymous
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"ive played in a canadian market ive been in st louis in the summer they won—ive never seen buzz like this" "we're really lucky we get to play hockey in such a nice place" the C and A clocking in on their Praise South Florida as a Hockeytown shift
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#preseason#harper move aside maffhew is here to PANDER#you ever have fond feelings for guys who just love the place they play for so much#did i tear up a bit? admittedly yeah a little bit#any praise for this sports hellhole is good#idk man growing up here its just nice to hear guys talk good about it NOW instead of the glory days ya know?#“you cant win the cup tomorrow but you can try to build our game where we have a chance to make the playoffs”#matthew and his oration skills never cease to amaze me because he speaks to such emotionality#like okay??? should i run through a wall for you??? several walls??? yeah bud?????#not related but maffhew i dont have a lisp well say that to the mic that peaks anytime you have to make a fh sound my guy#“going to games is a lot of fun now” oh so you're just gonna drop that on me and not expect me to cry#yeah thanks mate real cool#sasha i want to hold you with the gentleness of a tuilip craddling a sleeping field mouse#if i tear up any harder snot is gonna be coming out me nose#i just think they :(
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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max and i are closing in on launching [redacted sports rpf charity fest] and i am once again pondering how do i write "experience with writing form emails and manipulating google forms in ways no one has dreamed of" in a cover letter without saying "i did it for the rpf grind"...like there's no way unless everyone in this microsoft teams meeting gets really cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly. you know
#IT LITERALLY CAME UP WHILE I WAS WRITING A COVER LETTER A COUPLE WEEKS AGO#AND IT WAS SUCH A BAD COVER LETTER BC IT WAS LIKE. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN BE A VIRTUAL PROGRAMMING MANAGER#I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW I CAME BY THESE SKILLS!!!!#i did not get an interview lmao. but we stay silly#like how do u frame ''community organizer'' when you're organizing. people on the internet to create rpf fanworks. for charity#lmaooooo oh well#me and max locking down our timeline last night and i'm like 😶 the thing i have wanted to do for years is finally happening#the universe tried to smite us multiple times in multiple ways. but we persisted. and it is happening!!!#last night i had to go to the grocery store at 9pm wearing short-shorts and an oversized t-shirt bc i was really like#if i don't get a coke in me right the fuck now i am going to end it all#procured coca-cola. drank it in the parking lot. recovered instantly. got on here and started posting#went to monday night service. last one bc after this week it'll be too late at night in est :(#it was such a nice global community to be apart of. people in 5 countries on four continents showed up almost every week!#not to be christian on main. but i love working with ecumenical organizations because i meet people all over the world#who have different ways of doing church and different interpretations of scripture and different takes on faith#and i always learn so much from people! good and bad lol sometimes it's like wow i will NOT be integrating that into my worldview#yo just under one week until i move 😵💫 i decided i am packing one (1) more box and then saying fuck it we ball#whatever i forgot has to go in the car. i cannot let myself be owned by cardboard boxes any longer#and soon. freedom. new start. new beginnings. someone said ''i hope you look at this as a time of new growth and unfolding'' to me#and i went man. i think i am#like the pine trees that reseed after a forest fire#fresno oilers.txt
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