#Now do I make the good decision and sleep now?

[pellucid-constellations]

Azriel finds you in the cold.

Azriel x Reader (780 words, based on a request!, warnings: hypothermia, angst)

Masterlist here

~~

You were used to the cold. You grew up in its unforgiving teeth and clawed past winters when the bite felt almost too strong. There were methods to survive it, tactics to overcome the painful numbness that crept along your skin, but there didn’t seem to be a pattern to this cold. You were alone and this chill was with you. 

You should have listened to Azriel. 

It’s not a normal snow, he had warned, you should wait for me. But everyone seemed to forget that you were new to being fae, and when you were new, you felt invincible. You could live through the winters of your mortal years without a second thought. You couldn’t die from snow or ice or sleet. 

Or, so you thought. 

You huddled against the tree trunk, your fingers stinging and burning—but that didn’t make sense because the only substance that surrounded you was the blizzard. You could feel your body begin to slow, movements becoming labored when they shouldn’t. You hadn’t felt this kind of weakness since before becoming fae. 

Azriel was going to kill you; he’d be so furious to find your body here, surrounded by nothing on the outskirts of the winter court. Each soft whisper he’d pressed to your skin was loaded with adoration and praise for you being his mate above all else. He’d waited for you, he would tell you, and now you were going to die a meaningless death. 

Your grip on your cloak was concrete and rigid, but it was pointless. The snow had already seeped into the material and chilled you to the bone. 

You were tired. 

Closing your eyes seemed like the right decision. Sleep would help you gain the strength to sift through the white haze and find the border to these lands. 

Your lashes brushed your cheek and darkness felt warm. 

Until the incessant tug at your ribs became unbearable. Until a voice was calling you home and the concept of home ticked your heart rate up a beat. 

“Open your eyes. Please,” the voice stressed. Your body was numb and nothing was coherent over the whistling wind. 

There was pressure on your face and the air felt more stagnant, but everything else remained unchanged. 

Going against every muscle and desire in your being, you fought the weight of your eyelids and were met with the image of Azriel in the blistering cold. He was wrapped up to his neck as you were, but he was taking all of it off. 

“No,” you mumbled, the word barely a sound in the wind. 

Azriel’s gaze snapped up to you, his hands still clutching the scarf he was prying from his shoulders. His hands, with no gloves to cover his skin, cupped your cheeks. You couldn’t feel the heat of his skin, but you could feel the quivering of his fingers. 

“Good,” he seemed to mumble to himself. “Good, you���re awake. Okay, okay…” 

It was nonsensical and your brain was far too muddled to make sense of it. You only raised the dead weight of your arm to wrap stiff fingers around the material of his cloak. 

“Keep… it on,” you whispered. 

A spark of something shot across Azriel’s face. His lips parted as snow settled on his brow. “I need to take it off. I need to get you warm.” 

You let out a shuddering breath. Azriel, with his brows painfully furrowed, watched you for only a second more before he continued his motion to get you pressed to more of his skin and wrap the remaining area of his winter wear around you. 

“I love you, do you hear me?” Azriel spoke by your ear, the tone of his voice unwavering despite how his body shook. As if he wanted the strength to seep into your bones and warm you. As if that would work. 

He stood with you in his arms, your body now jarred by the change in temperature. He was moving quickly but not flying. Through a bleary blink, you saw the ice forming on the juncture of his wings.

“Answer me, y/n,” Azriel demanded.

“I’m tired,” you replied. 

“I know. I need to get past the border and then we’ll be home. You can sleep then, but not before.” 

You hummed a response. 

Azriel seemed to tense beneath you. “I love you,” he repeated. “Please don’t do this.” 

You wanted to tell him that you weren’t doing anything—that it was too cold for him to be here. But in the comfort of his arms, you let the darkness of his shadows lull you to sleep. In your dreams, you heard your name, over and over. 

[lolazoel]

As a german with grandparents who lived during WW2 i can confirm, this is what happened. And it's precisely what's happening again, it started by giving the public an enemy, someone to fear because the economy is messed up and living isn't easy.

Back then Hitler gave the germans many enemies: Jews, queer people, work unions, immigrants, Sinthi and Roma, communists, socialists, the mentally ill, the disabled, scientist, historians, authors, i can go on.

And now let's see what Trump did! He gave the americans an enemy to blame the economic situation on: queer people, immigrants, work unions, refugees, Mexicans, Native Americans, scientists, historians, authors, communists and socialists, the disabled and the mentally ill. Probably more that i can't remember right now.

Now, a man of Trump's age should be educated on why WW2 happened and why it left no winners despite germany and its allies surrendering to the US, UK, France and the UDSSR. The issue is, I believe he knows. And he knows that wars are good for the economy. They have the consequences of a redestribution of land because some who fell in the war leave property without an owner or a will. It means that resources used for the public can now be spent otherwise, like making old men with lots of money richer. It means a baby boom because sad people make bad decisions like sleeping around. And it means that the tangerine man with his tiny Richard can get emergency powers to stay in power longer.

The biggest issue? I can see the same happening in Germany too. Like we didn't learn from our mistakes. And I see men in power directing it all. A while ago Elon Musk, you know, the Nazi, met with Alice Weidel, a german politician and probably most hypocritical person i am aware of (she lives in Switzerland, has a wife from I believe Srilanka who wears a hijab, has adopted children, yet claims not to be queer and supports a party against immigrants, queer people, rainbow families, and muslims). Ever since I got notifications on Twitter about what Alice Weidel thinks. I had to block and report her to stop the notifications. I have no interests that she posts about. No, this is manufactured, herding more people into the arms of the extreme right wing.

And you want to know the worst part? The worst part is that the greater population will do nothing to stop this. Even if they don't actively support this change in society, until they are proclaimed the enemy they will stand aside and watch, because until it is them they won't care. And when it is them, there won't be anyone left willing to stand up for them.

Is there any hope left? When it is obvious war is coming given how countries scramble to isolate themselves until they become dependent on resources from others and willing to fight for those? When red buttons, launch codes, are so easily accessible and ready to cause the extinction of life on earth at a moment's notice? We are lucky that we won't have to fear a-weapons immediately, although b and c weapons are definitely going to be used (ABC weapons are Atomic, Biological, Chemical). It will be a war for resources, no need to taint those with radiation. We are lucky, because those who would have to use those weapons are in our generation, millenials and gen-z, people who grew up in a time where a connection to everywhere at once became the norm. People reluctant to fight and kill innocents.

So we can pray. And we can educate ourselves and each other. And we can stand up to protect each other. Because if enough people oppose the ruling class this will not become WW3, the war of resources, it will become a revolution, be it inspired by the french or the americans. Because one thing Germany did very well in the last century. We broke down the wall dividing east and west, parting friends and families. So let the german 80s and 90s inspire you, not the 30s and 40s. Unite.

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????

[blubunz]

JUST TONIGHT

— bodyguard! leon s. kennedy x f! model! reader

《MINORS DNI!》

Tags: porn with plot, maybe slowburn? slight slowburn, pet names, fingering, masturbation.

A/N: a real sucker for this AU i just want myself a man like this tbh. anyways I write this when I can't sleep even though I clearly have to wake up early tomorrow. (Okay it's afternoon now um WHY IS THIS SO LONG😭 I DID NOT EXPECT IT TO BE LONG)

Throughout your career, you weren't in need for a strong, brooding figure to protect yourself, you weren't fond of having anyone watching over you — it made you feel like you're just a weak girl, a damsel in distress who always needs a knight by her side.

And you are, you need someone to be by your side and protecting you from harm. Sometimes you do reckless things, and not to mention those times where you made stupid decisions that almost cost you your life if not for Lady Luck. But Lady Luck can't stay with you forever, and you don't want to be living on edge so constantly. It makes you look like a madman and, most of all, losing sleep, bad schedule and then it escalated to affecting your career and hard work.

And that's why he's here.

You've heard of him before, not on the news, but through whispers and rumors. Of all the things you've heard from them, you're surprised how Leon isn't on the news as much, maybe he's laying low, or maybe he's working for the government, all private and redacted matters.

So then, how exactly did you manage to hire him?

For one, you're curious enough to search him up. His name isn't hard to find, and you admit he looks good, perfect for modeling. The problem is that he hardly uses social media. If he does, then maybe he goes by some other names, or he doesn't post a lot. You found out about Claire Redfield though, at first, she doesn't leave much impression to you, but the pictures she posted have that same familiar face, albeit Leon is looking like a grumpy uncle who would give bad advice to his nieces in each photo.

Once you've decided that it was enough to go stalking people's profiles, you go and make a call using your fame and broad connections in and out of your industry. You got his number in your contact within two days, and your hands are shaking as you try to call him.

It's not that you're scared of socializing, it's just that you're hesitant of making this decision, of finally have someone to protect your life, of admitting that you seek help and reassurance.

But, the possibilities of death and dark thoughts fill your mind quickly enough, and you convince yourself you need this, for your own sake.

“Hello?”

“Is this... Leon Kennedy?”

It's been a month since Leon's been here. Truth be told, he doesn't care much about how people are falling in love with you, mainly just your looks and charisma. He's heard of you many times, so many times, you keep appearing on magazines, billboards, the news, advertisements and more. God, there was this one prime time of your life where your face was practically everywhere! Not that you're no longer famous, but that was the time where your life was endangered the most by how crazy your fans were — another reason why Leon is here.

Upon interacting with you during your own time, Leon found out you're not like how the media portrays you to be. He isn't a stranger to it, seeing famous people and important figures always having to smile and maintain a certain persona for the sake of the community. Sure, you have that bit of yourself in it, but when he escorts you hone, it's when he sees your fatigue.

Your shoulders slump as you sigh, putting your bag on the coffee table as the TV is playing some shows for white noise, you're scared of the quietness — having thoughts that might hurt yourself. Leon closes the door and locks it safely, carrying your bag up to your room.

He doesn't need to do that, Leon's aware his job is to protect your life, not servicing you like a maid ir servant, but he keeps doing so, helping you with the small things like carrying your belonging, to making meals for you.

“You can't sleep now.” Leon sighs, seeing you lying on the couch, eyes closing. He doesn't want to startle you, so he picks you up and carries you into your bedroom, seating you by the make up table.

This is a change of pace for Leon, everything he does has to be careful for you. No longer picking up guns to shoot bio organism weapons or anything of the sort, instead he's now attending to a young model. Two different lives, and Leon finds himself hard to adjust, remembering the times you joke about him acting awkward sometimes when you tried to talk to him normally.

Your name comes out of his lips, sounding sweet and calm. And your eyes open, lazily rubbing off your make up while Leon prepares the bath for you.

“You don't have to do that.” You say once he steps out again, smelling a bit of the bath bomb he put in.

“I know. But, protecting your life is my job, and caring for your bare minimum needs is included.” He explains, and you just nod, not quite sure if they're connected in your mind.

Still, you let him undress you. Your cheeks flush at the way his fingers hook under your top to remove it, oh the slight contact when his hand brushes over your tits or ass. And sometimes you find it crazy how it's you that's the one being attracted to someone, and not Leon, who never advances himself on you, he doesn't even react when seeing your body, you find it weird, but intriguing too when your looks being the most important aspect of your industry, you've gotten used to the attention and the reactions.

In reality, Leon is still human, he admits your body is attractive, he wishes to lay his hands on your body with a more intimate intent, with more sensuality rather than just helping you with undressing or carrying you, his eyes linger on your skin, seeing that your body isn't that perfect as they claim to be, and he imagines himself kissing your flaws, to be the only one seeing your most intimate areas. But he's worked long enough not to let his feelings get involved, he can't bare it not after—

“You can... let me go.” Your voice cut through his thoughts, and Leon lets you go, he didn't even notice he was holding you still, zoning out and staring at the back of your neck.

“Right, sorry.” He clears his voice a little, sitting by your bed to wait for you to finish shower. He brushes a hand through his hair, finding himself longing for some alcohol to drown out this feeling. And that's also a problem. You've said you don't like the smell that lingers when he drinks, making excuses on how it affects your own scent, and people won't find you as attractive. He just stops drinking when he knows he'd have to see you later, not quitting for good, just pausing to prioritize his job — and in within case, his job means you.

Stepping in the shower, you can't help but fantasize about Leon, you can't believe that you fell for him first, and now you're imagining his hand cupping your mound, squeezing you and rubbing your clit. You gasp, eyebrows furrowed with clear displeasure on your face — your fingers aren't enough, you need a hand big like Leon's, to feel those rough pads of skin trailing down your body.

Grumbling in frustration, you go ahead and finish showering.

Leon finishes checking over the securities and ensuring that no one was lurking near your home, he get back to the living room only to see you in your robe, making some tea for yourself.

“Tea?” You ask, passing him the cup before he could say anything.

“Thanks.” He swallows, eyes flickering to your form hidden under the thin silk robe painted by your favorite color, somehow seeing your body like this is much more arousing than when you strip down naked, it teases his desire, and it leaves him chasing that tantalizing image. You catch his lingering gaze, and your eyes twinkle with a hopeful glea. Maybe he likes you too? Even if he's attracted to your looks, you can work your way with making him love you fully. After all, he's the only one who sees you in your most vulnerable moments. He's special, and you let him know of that privilege.

You head off to your room, with him following behind. Leon helps you with closing the curtains and removing your robe, palms firmly rubbing your shoulders. You shiver, letting the garment pool at your feet before seating on your bed in just your lingerie.

Leon tucks you in, and every time he does things like this, he gives you that flutter in your stomach, god, it's always the little things that get to you.

“Goodnight—”

“Leon, wait.” You reach up, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt, and he looks at you with an unchanged expression.

“Yes?”

“Um...” You hesitate, will Leon find this weird? No, no, maybe you can make an excuse, saying that you're too paranoid. “Can you... stay in my room? Just tonight?”

Leon nods without hesitation or any questions. He sits by the chair near your makeup table and plans to just read something to pass the time.

“No, not there.” You say, your voice sounding abrupt as you try your best not to appear so needy. But you can't. You're just naturally so. “In my bed, please?”

Leon bites the inside of his cheeks to hold back his smile, you sound so cute with the little "please" as a cherry on top. He complies, sitting at the edge of your bed, a hand on your ankle.

“Is this good enough for you, princess?” He smirks, and you feel your cheeks flush. “Or do you want me to hold you close, hm? Protect you from the monsters, yeah?”

“That... That wouldn't be a bother.” You murmur, and Leon takes it to heart, taking off his jacket and crawling up to your side. Leon gets you on his lap, pushing your head against his shoulder.

“Better?” He asks, voice muffled from his lips pressed against your hair, smelling your shampoo.

You nod, hiding your flustered face in Leon's shoulder, that elicits a laugh from him and he brushes your hair. He rubs your back soothingly, feeling your body relaxes under his grip.

Leon traces his hand down to your lower back, kneeding your soft buttocks. You take a sharp inhale, subtly pushing up against his palm.

His eyebrow raises, smirking against your hair before rubbing your thighs, and you spread your legs open for him. Leon doesn't say anything and just watches your reaction. He can feel you breathing down his neck. Your heart picks up its pace in excitement.

“Do you like this?” He keeps the pace slow, rubbing up to the waistband of your panties.

“Mhm...” You nod.

“Want more?”

“Mhm.” You nod again.

He hooks his finger under the band, and pulls the garment down, enough to let his hand slide in, brushing just over the top near your aching clit.

The moment his middle finger presses against your bud, you moan, hips twitching against his palm.

“Have you been dreaming about this?” Leon asks, and you only whimper in response. His finger moves down, collecting your juices and pulling out, tasting your essence on his finger.

“Me too.” Leon admits, and he shoves his hand back to your cunt, pushing a finger through your entrance.

“I've been wanting this too. Even more, wanna feel this tight cunt around my dick instead.” He groans, the way your walls tighten around his finger is enough to make his cock leaking pre-cum. “Fuck— you're so tight already, hm? I bet you cum with just my fingers.”

You mewl, hips rutting against his palm, and Leon pushes another finger in, spreading your pussy open so that you can fit his cock.

“Oh, god, Leonnnnn!” Your eyes roll up as he pumps his fingers in and out of your cunt, juices drooling down his hand. “Mngh, f-fuck—”

“Good girl.” Leon whispers, kissing down your neck whilst your body trembles, shaking high in pleasure. “That's it.”

His thumb rubbing harshly against your clit, making your whines higher and higher, you sound so needy and desperate, an side of you that you don't want anyone to see — anyone but Leon.

Leon grunts, feeling your juices dampening his pants, right against his bulge. His cock throbbing in his pants, just aching to pound that tight pussy of yours. But he puts you first, making you cum and high in ecstasy.

“Mm, gonna cum, baby?” He coos, feeling your cunt clamping down his fingers. “Cum, baby, be a good girl and cum f' me.” He increases the pace and intensity of his thrusts, dreaming of them being his cock instead.

You moan loudly as you squirt against his palm, and your knees buckle, legs shaking and body trembling as you collapse on his body.

“Gooood girl.” Leon kisses your forehead, rubbing your back with a free hand while he sucks off your juices from his fingers. “Now, ready for the main event?”

You feel his cock twitches under you, and you can feel yourself heating up again. You gulp, wrapping your arms around his neck and grinding against his bulge.

“Yeah.”

[allaboutynn]

THE SPARK BETWEEN US

💐 synopsis — it was good being the maknae of aespa, they always treated you like their younger sister, well Except one member who definitely thinks of you more than that.

⚠️ warnings: Urm idk why I wrote this in first persons POV but never trying that again :/, 5th member reader, avoiding

💬 Rin: first actual attempt at writing something that’s fic related, yay(?) came up to the decision of making this blog my writing fics blogs and created another for reading and interactions!

☀︎︎☁︎︎ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 ꆭ ᷎ ࣪ 🎀ᩖ ࣪ ۪ ̃ ✿

As I spent more time with the members of aespa, I couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging. They were all so kind and welcoming, always making sure I felt included and comfortable. Karina would often give me advice on fashion and beauty, while Giselle would share stories about her love of food and cooking. Ningning would tease me playfully, but always made sure I knew she was just joking.

But there was one member who treated me differently. Winter would often find excuses to sit next to me, or to touch my arm while we were talking. She would look at me with a gaze that was almost... intense. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew that Winter saw me in a different light.

At first, I tried to brush it off as mere friendliness. But as time went on, I began to realize that Winter's feelings for me went far beyond friendship. She would make subtle comments, or find ways to be close to me, even when it wasn't necessary.

I have to admit, it was a little intimidating at first. But as I got to know Winter better, I realized that she was genuinely kind and caring. She would do anything to protect me, and make sure I was happy.

And as I looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but wonder... did I feel the same way?

As I pondered my feelings, Winter's gaze seemed to hold mine for a bit longer than usual. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart skipped a beat. I quickly looked away, trying to brush off the sensation.

But Winter's eyes seemed to follow me, and I could sense her gaze on me even when I wasn't looking. It was as if she was trying to will me to look back at her, to acknowledge the unspoken tension between us.

I tried to focus on the conversation around me, but my mind kept wandering back to Winter. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if we were more than just friends.

As the evening drew to a close, Winter walked me home, her arm brushing against mine. The touch sent shivers down my spine, and I felt my heart racing in my chest.

As we stood outside my door, Winter turned to me and smiled. "Thanks for tonight," she said, her voice low and husky. "I had a really great time."

I smiled back, feeling a sense of nervousness. "I had a great time too," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. But then she seemed to hesitate, and instead, she leaned in and whispered, "Goodnight."

As I watched her walk away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. But at the same time, I knew that Winter's feelings for me were real, and that she was willing to take things slow.

I smiled to myself, feeling a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, Winter and I could explore something more than friendship. And as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held for us.

The next day, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something had shifted between Winter and me. We had always been close, but the way she had looked at me the night before, the way she had whispered "goodnight" in my ear... it all felt so intimate, so personal.

As I went about my day, I found myself wondering what Winter was doing, whether she was thinking about me too. I felt a little silly, to be honest - I had never really considered Winter in a romantic way before, but now I couldn't seem to get her out of my head.

It wasn't until we met up for practice that afternoon that I saw Winter again. She smiled at me as I walked in, and I felt my heart skip a beat. We exchanged a few pleasantries, but I could sense a newfound tension between us, a sense of awareness that hadn't been there before.

As we began to practice, I found myself stealing glances at Winter, watching the way she moved with such precision and control. She was always so focused, so dedicated to her craft - and yet, when she caught my eye, I saw a flicker of something else there, something softer and more vulnerable.

I felt a pang of curiosity, and before I knew it, I was wondering what it would be like to kiss her, to hold her close and see where things might go. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, and I quickly looked away, trying to compose myself.

But as the practice drew to a close, Winter caught up to me, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice low and teasing. "You seem a little distracted."

I felt my face heat up, and I looked away, trying to play it cool. "I'm just tired, that's all," I said, trying to brush it off.

But Winter just laughed, her eyes glinting with mischief. "I don't think that's it," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I think you're just avoiding me."

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I turned to her, my eyes locking onto hers. "Why would I be avoiding you?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Winter just smiled, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I think you know why," she said, her voice low and husky. And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me feeling stunned and confused.

As Winter walked away, I felt a pang of curiosity. What had she meant by that comment? Was she really suggesting that I was avoiding her, or was she just trying to get a rise out of me?

I decided to follow her, to see if I could get some answers. I caught up to her in the hallway, where she was waiting for the elevator.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual. "What did you mean back there?"

Winter turned to me, a sly smile spreading across her face. "I think you know exactly what I meant," she said, her eyes glinting with amusement.

I felt a flutter in my chest as I met her gaze. There was something in her eyes, something that made me feel like she could see right through me.

"I'm not sure I do," I said, trying to play it cool.

Winter laughed, a low, throaty sound. "Don't play dumb," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know you feel it too."

I felt a shiver run down my spine as she stepped closer to me. "Feel what?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," she said, her voice husky with emotion.

And with that, the elevator doors opened, and Winter stepped inside, leaving me standing there, feeling stunned and confused.

For the next few days, I made a conscious effort to avoid Winter. I would take the stairs instead of the elevator, just so I wouldn't run into her. I would sit in a different part of the cafeteria during meals, and I would arrive early to practice so I could warm up before she arrived.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see her - it was just that I needed some time to think. I needed to process my feelings, to figure out what was going on between us. And I couldn't do that with Winter around, being her usual charming and persuasive self.

But as the days went by, I started to feel a little guilty. I was avoiding Winter, and I knew she had noticed. I could sense her eyes on me during practice, could feel her watching me even when I wasn't looking.

And then, one day, Winter decided to confront me. We were at practice, and I was sitting on the sidelines, taking a break. Winter walked over to me, her eyes fixed intently on mine.

"Hey," she said, her voice low and serious. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation. I knew what was coming.

Winter sat down beside me, her eyes never leaving mine. "I've noticed you've been avoiding me," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "And I want to know why."

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Don't lie to me," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "I know you've been avoiding me. And I want to know why."

I sighed, feeling a sense of resignation. I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation forever.

"Fine," I said, looking down at my feet. "I've been avoiding you because...because I don't know how to feel around you. Okay?"

Winter was silent for a moment, and I could sense her processing my words.

"Because of what I said the other day?" she asked, her voice soft and gentle.

I nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "Yeah. Because of that."

Winter nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. "I see," she said, her voice thoughtful. "Well, can I ask you something?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation.

"Do you feel the same way?" Winter asked, her voice soft and gentle.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I met her gaze. Did I feel the same way? I wasn't sure. But as I looked into Winter's eyes, I knew that I couldn't deny the spark that had ignited between us.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Winter's eyes seemed to bore into mine, as if searching for the truth. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart began to beat faster.

"I...I don't know," I stammered, trying to sound nonchalant despite the turmoil inside me.

Winter's expression didn't change, but I sensed a flicker of disappointment. "Okay," she said softly, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "I understand."

But I could tell she didn't understand. Not really. And I couldn't blame her. I was confused myself.

Winter stood up, her movements fluid and effortless. "I'll leave you alone for now," she said, her eyes still fixed on mine. "But can I ask you one more thing?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation.

"Will you at least think about it?" Winter asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Think about how you feel, and what you want?"

I nodded again, feeling a sense of resolve. "I'll think about it," I promised, my voice firm.

Winter smiled softly, and for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "Good," she said, her voice gentle. "I'll be waiting."

And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me feeling more confused and uncertain than ever. But also, somehow, more hopeful.

I watched Winter walk away, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. I was glad that the conversation was over, but at the same time, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had just made things more complicated.

As I sat there, trying to process my emotions, I couldn't help but think about Winter's words. "Will you at least think about it?" she had asked, her eyes pleading with me to consider my feelings.

And I had promised her that I would. But as I sat there, I realized that I had no idea where to start. I had never really thought about my feelings for Winter before. I had always just assumed that we were friends, and that was it.

But now, I wasn't so sure. Winter's confession had thrown everything off balance, and I was left feeling confused and uncertain.

I decided to take a walk, hoping that some fresh air would clear my head. As I strolled through the streets, I couldn't help but think about Winter. I thought about the way she smiled, the way she laughed, and the way she always knew how to make me feel better.

And as I walked, I started to realize that my feelings for Winter went far beyond friendship. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart began to beat faster. I couldn't believe it. I had feelings for Winter.

But what did it mean? And what was I supposed to do now? I felt like I was standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. But as I looked up at the sky, I knew that I had to be honest with myself. I had to acknowledge my feelings, no matter how scary it seemed.

And with that, I made a decision. I would talk to Winter again, and I would tell her how I really felt. I was nervous, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I took a deep breath and made my way to Winter's room, my heart racing with anticipation. I had been thinking about our previous conversation nonstop, and I knew I had to talk to her again.

As I knocked on the door, Winter answered with a curious expression. "Hey, what's up?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with interest.

I smiled, feeling a sense of nervous excitement. "I wanted to talk to you about what you said the other day," I began, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's expression softened, and she nodded encouragingly. "I've been thinking about it a lot too," she said, her voice gentle.

I took another deep breath, feeling my heart pound in my chest. "I have to admit, I was surprised at first," I said, my eyes locking onto Winter's. "But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I feel the same way."

Winter's face lit up with a radiant smile, and she took a step closer to me. "Really?" she asked, her voice trembling with excitement.

I nodded, feeling my heart soar. "Really," I replied, my voice firm.

Winter's eyes sparkled with joy, and she reached out to take my hand. "I'm so glad," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

As our hands touched, I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body. It was like the whole world had come alive, and everything felt new and exciting. I smiled up at Winter, feeling my heart full of joy and anticipation.

As Winter's eyes sparkled with joy, I felt my heart skip a beat. We stood there for a moment, hands touching, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

Winter smiled and leaned in close. "I'm so glad you feel the same way," she whispered, her breath tickling my ear.

I nodded, my heart racing with excitement. "Me too," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I knew that this was just the beginning of our journey together. And I couldn't wait to see what the future held for us.

✰𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐀

[foreveia]

fourteen ⤨ oikawa tooru

⨭ genre; fluff

⨭ pairing; oikawa tooru x fem!reader

⨭ word count; 6.5k

⨭ descriptions; as much as you love romcoms, you're a realist and recognise just how illogical true love is—unfortunately for you, fate has other plans.

⨭ warnings; profanity

⨭ a/n; my 2025 motto has been to just write and not worry too much about perfectionism, so here's my mess of an oikawa fic. it's acc unreal i have finished three fics in a week's time lol who knows how long this creative streak will last but wtv. in the meantime, enjoy :)

one.

During your four-hour layover in SFO, you decide that 4AM flights are only slightly less inconvenient than paying full price for a flight at noon. Because right now, it’s honestly just eerie: San Francisco International Airport (full-government name because you fear this might actually be where you die) is completely empty, largely dark, and very, very desolate.

You sigh and glance around the lounge, which is dimly lit and suspiciously quiet except for the distant hum of a floor polisher somewhere beyond the gates. Every shop is shuttered, every PA announcement echoes into nothing, and the only signs of life are a few overworked employees slumped behind their counters; you’re the only one at your gate, your phone charging via one of the blue-light towers, headphones blasting at maximum volume. You’re trying to drown out the unnerving feeling in your chest with Gracie Abrams and SZA—it’s not working in the slightest, actually making you increasingly wary of your vulnerability.

But whatever. You’re a #brokecollegestudent, so obviously you’re willing to risk your life for a good deal.

Honestly, you should really be asleep. That was the plan, after all: you had it all mapped out—get here, find a quiet corner, conk out, wake up only when it’s absolutely necessary. Instead, your brain is running on fumes and bad decisions, vibrating horribly in your skull because you’re an idiot and didn’t realize how paranoid you get when you’re sleep deprived.

You groan, stretching your legs out in front of you. “Kill me,” you mutter under your breath.

“First time traveling?” a voice pipes up, obnoxiously chipper for the time of night.

You freeze mid-stretch. You are not alone.

Slowly, you turn toward the source of the voice.

Sprawled across the lounge chair opposite you, looking for all the world like he belongs here, is a guy—tall, lean but broad-shouldered, stupidly good-looking even under the sickly fluorescent lights. Tousled brown hair, sweatpants and a zip-up hoodie that are clearly designer but worn like he doesn’t give a damn. His legs are stretched out like he owns the entire damn lounge, and he’s got this lazy, almost smug smirk on his face, like he’s enjoying whatever show you’re unknowingly putting on.

You narrow your eyes. “Excuse me?”

He gestures vaguely at you, at your very obvious state of suffering. “You look like you’re miserable right now.”

“I am,” you say. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs, then tilts his head. “Just figured misery loves company.”

Your brain is still catching up to the fact that this man—a stranger, an audacious one at that—has just decided to start a conversation with you, unprompted, in the middle of an empty airport. You eye him cautiously. “You do realize there are approximately four million other places to sit, right?”

He grins. “Yeah, but none of them have you.”

You blink. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Depends.” His smirk widens. “Is it working?”

“No.”

“Damn,” he says, without an ounce of actual disappointment. “Guess I’ll have to try harder.”

You scoff, shaking your head as you glance away. God. Of all the people to be stuck in airport limbo with, you had to get the charming, insufferable kind. The kind that probably coasts through life on natural athletic ability and the kind of face that gets him out of parking tickets. The kind that’s entirely too comfortable stretching out in a public lounge like it’s his personal living room.

He’s watching you, you realise. Like he’s waiting for something.

“What?” you sigh.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he says.

“I don’t remember you asking one.”

The corner of his mouth twitches like you’ve just mildly amused him. “First time traveling?” he repeats.

You roll your eyes. “No. Just first time being stuck in an airport at an hour when no one should be conscious.”

“Ah,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “A rookie mistake. 4AM flights are a scam.”

You snort. “And yet, here you are.”

“Touché.”

You take another glance at him, this time really looking. Something about him tugs at your memory, like a song you’ve heard before but can’t place. The messy hair, the easy confidence, the way he’s practically radiating I’m used to being the center of attention energy.

Then, in a flash, it hits you.

“Oh,” you say, recognition clicking into place. “Wait—you’re Oikawa.”

His eyebrows lift slightly, a flicker of interest crossing his face. “You know me?”

“You’re that volleyball guy,” you say, pointing vaguely at him. “The one who’s, like… unnecessarily famous.”

Oikawa grins. “Unnecessarily?”

“I mean, it’s volleyball,” you deadpan. “I didn’t even know people could be famous for that.”

His expression morphs into something between offense and wounded pride. “Ouch. I think I might actually cry.”

“Please do,” you say. “It’ll entertain me.”

He clutches his chest theatrically. “You’re ruthless.”

“I’m tired,” you promptly correct. “And delirious. And currently stuck in an airport with a man who’s trying to convince me he’s a big deal.”

Oikawa scoffs, but there’s something amused in his gaze, like he’s enjoying this. “You’re not a fan of sports?”

“Not really,” you shrug half-heartedly, looking back down at your beat-up Filas. You’re not lying; even so, you’ve seen his games on TV before (you watch the Olympics after all—you’re not a total basket case). He’s a flirt, a player with double meaning, and you would really rather avoid getting involved with anything complicated. “I’ve never been into jocks.”

“Never been into jocks,” he echoes, shaking his head. “And here I thought I could be your Peter Kavinsky.”

“No, thank you. I would never write you a love letter.”

Oikawa laughs at that—an actual laugh, not just the smug little chuckle you’ve gotten so far. It’s rich and warm, and you hate the way it makes your stomach flip just slightly. Who even are you right now? This whole situation is so unbelievable that it makes you more confident.

You cross your arms, looking him up and down. “So what’s your excuse?”

“For what?”

“For subjecting yourself to this hellscape of a layover,” you say, gesturing at the ghost town of a terminal around you.

He sighs, dragging a hand through his already messy hair. “Came back to visit some old teammates in California. Now I’m heading home.”

“Japan?”

“Bingo.”

Your brain is slow, groggy, and running on fumes, but something about that answer sticks. “Wait,” you say, frowning. “What flight are you on?”

Oikawa glances at you, like he knows exactly what you’re about to realize. “4:00AM to Haneda.”

You stare at him. “No.”

His grin is almost devious. “Yes.”

Your stomach drops.

Fourteen hours. Fourteen whole hours, stuck on a flight. With him.

Oikawa watches the realization dawn on your face, and for the first time since he sat down, he looks genuinely entertained.

“Well,” he says, stretching his arms over his head. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

You are going to lose your goddamn mind.

two.

For all your romcom consumption, you never stopped to consider what you would do if coincidence and chance conspired against you in that manner. You figured if fate was ever going to meddle in your love life, it would be in an incessantly normal way—maybe a slow-burn situation with a coworker, or a friend-of-a-friend you never noticed until one fateful night.

Not… this.

Not staring at seat 14A like it’s a death sentence, because your boarding pass is crumpled in your fist, because of course when you finally find your row, Oikawa Tooru is already lounging in 14B, looking far too pleased with himself.

He glances up as you approach, then breaks into the most shit-eating grin you’ve ever fucking seen.

“Well, well, well,” he drawls, leaning back like he just won the lottery. “Fancy seeing you here.”

You stop dead in the aisle, refusing to believe what your own two eyes are telling you.

“Are you following me?” you blurt, because there is absolutely no way the universe would do this to you.

Oikawa, ever the dramatist, clutches his chest. “Sweetheart, if I wanted to follow you, I’d at least be more subtle.”

“Show me your ticket.”

He raises an eyebrow but pulls out his boarding pass with a flourish anyway. You squint to read the text, half-hoping that you would find some spelling error that could place either of you somewhere else. But nope: his ticket reads 14B in big, bold letters, right next to Oikawa Tooru and Gate 11.

You exhale slowly, pressing your fingers to your temple. Jesus fuck. He manifested this, with his snarky commentary and all about being stuck with him; you would say that you’re gonna kill him for this, but evidently, karma is real and terrifying.

Oikawa, meanwhile, is having the time of his life.

“What are the odds?” he muses, tucking the ticket back into his hoodie pocket. “Out of all the seats on this flight, I get to sit next to you.”

“This is a nightmare,” you mutter.

“Nightmares are scary,” he says. “I’m a delight.”

You glare at him and shove your bag into the overhead bin with slightly more force than necessary. He watches, thoroughly entertained, as you lower yourself into your seat like you’re walking into a trap.

The cabin fills with the usual pre-flight chaos—flight attendants directing traffic, the hum of passengers settling in, the occasional thud of an overhead bin slamming shut. You try to focus on that, on anything other than the man currently making himself comfortable in the seat beside you.

Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll get bored.

Oikawa leans an elbow on the armrest between you, tilting his head slightly. “So,” he says. “What’s your in-flight entertainment plan?”

“My what?”

“You know, what’s gonna keep you occupied for the next fourteen hours?” He gestures vaguely to your bag. “Movies? Reading? Soul-searching?”

“Sleeping,” you say immediately. “It’s four AM. Like a normal person.”

Oikawa tilts his head, considering. “See, I would believe you, but you already look wide awake.”

You scowl at him. Because unfortunately, he’s right—your body is so far past exhaustion that sleep is a distant, unattainable dream. You sigh and shift in your seat, pressing yourself closer to the window.

He grins, victorious. “You should talk to me instead.”

You let out an actual laugh—short, sharp, disbelieving. “Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because I’m fun.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Same thing.”

You shoot him a flat look. “I don’t like you.”

“And yet, you still haven’t put your headphones in,” he points out.

Damn it. You hate that he’s right. Again.

You huff, finally fishing your headphones from your bag and shoving them into your ears with exaggerated finality. Then, just for good measure, you turn to the window and squeeze your eyes shut.

Oikawa doesn’t say anything else. For about thirty seconds. Then, right as the plane begins to taxi down the runway, you hear him say, way too smugly for your liking, “you’re gonna talk to me eventually.”

You pretend to be asleep. You can feel him watching you, like he’s waiting for you to crack, like he knows something you don’t. 

Ugh. This is gonna be a long flight.

three.

By hour three of the flight, you’ve come to realise that Oikawa has a surprising love for the classics. 

Trust: you weren’t actively trying to notice his choice of in-air films, but your periphery and conscience betray you, and you become acutely aware as your seatmate cycles through The Proposal and Crazy Stupid Love (two objectively incredible films). He cues 10 Things I Hate About You next, which is probably your favorite movie of all time; you adore said movie so much that, despite all of your previous complaints and window-seat protests, you eventually lean into the seat rest separating you two and watch along.

Not openly, obviously. Not in any way that would give Oikawa the satisfaction of knowing he’s captured your attention. You angle your face toward the window, feign a vague disinterest, and sneak quick glances when you think he’s not looking.

Spoiler: he notices immediately.

“You know you could just watch with me,” Oikawa says, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say flatly, keeping your gaze stubbornly trained on the clouds outside.

“Uh-huh.” He shifts in his seat, casually turning the screen toward you. “C’mon, if you’re gonna steal glances, at least commit.”

“I wasn’t stealing anything,” you huff, but it’s weak, and you both know it.

Oikawa smirks, and—against your better judgment—you give in, finally glancing at his screen properly to watch Kat Stratford dancing drunkenly on a table. He offers you one of his earbuds, which you take very, very tentatively. You would be deeply unhappy about the proximity if your love of Hypnotize didn’t trump it. 

You sigh, leaning your cheek against your palm. “This movie is so good.”

“Right?” Oikawa grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Pretty bold of you to call me insufferable when you clearly have taste.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “What does that mean?”

“It means you love this movie, I love this movie—therefore, you and I have more in common than you’d like to admit.”

You scoff, but there’s no real bite to it. “Liking 10 Things I Hate About You is just basic human decency.”

Oikawa presses a hand to his chest, mock-flattered. “Oh, so now you’re calling me decent?”

“No, I’m calling the movie decent. You’re a fluke.”

He gasps dramatically, then shakes his head, muttering something about how you wound him. But his smile lingers as the film plays on, and maybe—just a little bit—you don’t find his presence as unbearable anymore. He’s too distracted watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt pine to be truly annoying.

Somewhere between the next few scenes, you relax completely, not even pretending to look away anymore. You’re leaning in slightly now, watching the moment where Patrick buys Kat a guitar, and it takes an embarrassingly long time for you to realize that Oikawa’s staring at you instead of the screen.

You blink. “What?”

He tilts his head, amused. “You’re, like… really into this.”

You scoff, flicking your gaze back to the movie. “I just appreciate good cinema.”

“Oh, so you’re a romcom person.”

You hesitate—because there’s something about the way he says it, a sort of curiosity that feels deeper than just casual conversation. It could be interpreted as judgmental, but somehow, the way he says it doesn’t seem to be. Still, you brush it off, nodding begrudgingly. “Yeah. So?”

Oikawa hums, glancing back at the screen as if weighing his words. Then, without looking at you, he says, “Do you think this stuff actually happens?”

“What, grand romantic gestures?”

“Yeah. Stuff like this. The running through the airport thing. The whole public love confession in front of the entire school thing. Do you think it’s real?”

You consider it for a moment, shifting in your seat. “I think… I think people want it to be real,” you admit, watching as Patrick and Kat kiss in the movie’s final scene. “Like, deep down, even the most cynical people kind of want to believe that this kind of thing could happen to them.”

Oikawa doesn’t respond right away. He just watches you, his expression unreadable.

Then he asks, voice softer this time, “And do you?”

The question settles in your chest, heavier than it should be. Do you believe in grand gestures? In someone showing up unannounced at your door, confessing their feelings in the pouring rain? In someone looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world worth fighting for?

If you’re being honest, you’re a hopeless romantic at heart. It’s why you love the genre so much—because despite all your cynicism, despite every realist take you’ve ever had, a part of you still wants to believe in love that lasts. You just don’t think it’s likely. People fall out of love with each other. Feelings fade. Real life is rarely as cinematic as the movies make it seem.

You exhale, suddenly too aware of the way Oikawa’s watching you, like he sees right through you.

“I think it’s… nice in movies,” you say carefully. “But in real life, people just disappoint you. It’s not worth taking the chance and getting hurt.”

Oikawa studies you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, to your utter surprise, he smiles—small and knowing, the kind that makes your stomach do something weird.

“Well,” he murmurs, leaning back in his seat, “maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet.”

Your breath catches. You hate the way your heart stumbles over itself, just for a second.

You force yourself to roll your eyes, turning back toward the window. “Gross,” you mutter, hoping he doesn’t hear the slight waver in your voice.

Oikawa just chuckles, hitting play on When Harry Met Sally.

“Talk to me when we hit the part where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm,” he says, stretching his arms behind his head. “Then we’ll really see where you stand on romance.”

You shake your head, biting back a reluctant smile.

And as the flight drags on, you realize—with a sinking feeling—that you don’t actually mind sitting next to Oikawa Tooru as much as you thought you did.

Oh God. That can’t be good.

four.

Halfway through the scene where Harry and Sally are in flight, you decide, after much internal conflict, that you’ll allow yourself to like Oikawa for this flight and this flight alone. It’s harmless. A temporary indulgence. You can enjoy the anonymity, let yourself sink into the moment, and then disappear once the plane lands. Maybe you’ll see his Olympic gameplay on TV one day, mention it offhandedly to whoever you’re with at the time, and then promptly forget about him.

Because here’s the thing: if you let yourself, you could probably fall for people pretty easily. You keep your guards up because it’s safer, but you imagine that love is like getting sucked into a black hole—you either fall forever, or you hit the ground so hard it shatters you. And if there’s one thing you know about yourself, it’s your tendency to self-sabotage: you don’t remember a single relationship you’ve had where you didn’t walk away first. You really would prefer to keep your romantic fantasies in fiction; it hurts less. 

You never realized that Oikawa could share this conviction. 

He doesn’t say anything when you shift slightly toward him, resting your arm on the seat rest between you. He doesn’t comment when you fully give in, watching When Harry Met Sally with him like it’s something you’ve been doing forever. He just lets it happen—like he expected it, like he knew you’d cave.

You don’t like that. But you do like the movie.

The scene in the airport plays, Sally meticulously laying out her travel quirks—I like the aisle seat, so I can stretch my legs. I don’t like to eat between meals, but I always want something sweet after dinner. You smile to yourself. You’ve always loved the specificity of it: how she knows exactly what she likes, how she doesn’t compromise on it.

“I feel like dating you would be exhausting,” Oikawa muses abruptly, arms crossed over his chest. 

You tear your gaze away from the screen just long enough to give him a withering look. “Excuse me?”

He gestures vaguely in your direction. “You’re too—” He pauses, searching for the right word. “Particular.”

You scoff. “And you’re not?”

“Not in the same way.” He shifts slightly, smirking. “You’d analyze me to death. Pick apart every little thing I do.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You say that like you wouldn’t be a terror to date.”

Oikawa grins, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Thinking about dating me, are we?”

“I’m thinking about how insufferable you’d be,” you correct, turning back toward the screen.

“Mm. You sure?”

You shoot him a look.

He sighs, dramatic as ever. “Shame. I’d be great at it.”

You snort. “Doubt that.”

His smirk widens. “That sounded a lot like a challenge.”

“It’s not.”

“I think it is.”

“Oikawa.”

He chuckles, finally turning back to the movie, and for some reason, you feel yourself relax again. The teasing is easier now, lighter. You don’t hate it.

And, despite yourself, you sneak another glance at him before looking back at the screen.

The movie plays on. Harry and Sally are walking through Central Park in the fall, debating the age-old question of whether men and women can be just friends. You know every word of this scene, could probably recite it in your sleep. 

“I love this part,” you say, before you can stop yourself.

Oikawa glances at you, intrigued. “Why?”

“It’s just—” You pause, searching for the right words. “It’s the conversation. The way they both believe so deeply in their own side of things. And they’re both right, in different ways.”

Oikawa hums, tilting his head. “So, which one are you?”

You blink. “What do you mean?”

“Do you think men and women can just be friends?”

You hesitate. You’ve thought about it before, obviously—you’ve had guy friends, you’ve had moments where those friendships blurred at the edges, where you wondered if they were really as platonic as you claimed. 

“I think it depends,” you decide finally. “Some people can. Some people can’t.”

Oikawa watches you for a beat, his expression unreadable. “And what about us?”

Your breath falters; the question feels heavier than it should. You force yourself to scoff. “We’re not even friends.”

He laughs, and you hate how warm the sound is. “Cold.”

You shift in your seat, trying to ignore the way your stomach flips. “I just mean we met, like, five hours ago.”

“Five very meaningful hours,” he says, nodding seriously.

You shake your head, turning back to the screen—just in time for the diner scene.

“Oh, here we go,” Oikawa murmurs.

You grin. “Cinematic excellence.”

Sally fakes an orgasm, loud and unashamed, right in the middle of Katz’s Deli. You try not to look at Oikawa as you laugh, but his presence is suddenly overwhelming, like you can feel him beside you even without looking.

“She’s got a point, you know,” he says.

“What?” You glance at him.

He gestures to the screen. “Half of dating is just making people think you’re having a good time.”

You scoff. “That’s your dating experience, maybe.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“You’re a playboy.”

He groans. “I knew you were going to say that.”

“Because it’s true.”

“It’s outdated,” he argues. “Was I kind of a flirt in high school? Sure. But I grew out of that.”

You snort. “Did you?”

Oikawa turns to you, expression softer now. “I did,” he says, and you don’t know why, but the look in his eyes and the way his voice wavers make you believe him. 

There’s something almost sad about it, how under his layers of bravado and grandiosity, he seems just the slightest bit lonely. You don’t say anything. You just watch him, the way his jaw tenses slightly, the way his fingers drum absentmindedly against the armrest.

“I don’t know,” he continues, voice quieter. “Never really met someone who gets me like that.”

You hesitate. Then, before you can think better of it, you mumble, “I get that.”

Oikawa looks at you. Something shifts between you. Not huge, not dramatic—but something.

You clear your throat, turning back to the screen. “The best part of this movie is the ending, anyway.”

He watches you for a second longer, then smiles slightly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, watching as Harry races through the streets on New Year’s Eve, heart in his throat, words spilling out in a desperate confession. “Because he realizes it’s real.”

Oikawa hums. “And you don’t think real love is like that?”

You hesitate. You really don’t want to answer that question, not right now. So instead, you shrug. “Like I said, it’s nice in movies.”

Oikawa doesn’t push. But as the credits roll, he glances at you one last time, something unreadable in his gaze. He’s not entirely convinced by your answer, and you both know it, even if he isn’t saying it aloud.

five.

Oikawa’s phone password is his own name, which is a fun fact you discover as your flight nears hour ten.

You don’t even mean to find out—really, you don’t. He dozes off halfway through Crazy Rich Asians, phone balanced precariously on his knee, screen still lit up from whatever mindless scrolling he’d been doing before sleep claimed him. He’s slumped in his seat, arms crossed, mouth slightly open in a way that would be embarrassing if he were anyone else. But he’s Oikawa, and people like him have a way of looking effortless even in sleep.

The moment the phone slips, it’s like slow motion. It free-falls, landing with a soft thud on the armrest between you. Oikawa startles awake, lashes fluttering, hands fumbling to catch it a second too late. His fingers curl around the device, flipping it over with bleary concern, only for the screen to glare back at him—locked.

And that’s when you see it.

You don’t mean to. It’s just…right there. The exact moment his fingers trace out the unlock pattern, it clicks into place, predictable in a way that makes you snort.

“Oikawa.”

He turns toward you, still shaking off the drowsiness. “Huh?”

“Your password,” you say, fighting a smirk. “You really chose Oikawa?”

He yawns, unbothered. “And?”

“And that’s… so predictable.”

He stretches, spine arching lazily before he slouches back down, as if the conversation itself is something he can’t be bothered to put effort into. “Predictable or genius? You tell me.”

“Predictable,” you say immediately. “What if someone tries to hack you? Your name is the first thing people would guess.”

Oikawa grins. “Exactly. It’s so obvious that no one would actually think I’d use it.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “I bet all your passwords are just variations of your own name.”

He makes a noise of vague offense, rubbing a hand over his face. “That’s an outrageous accusation,” he says, clearly lying.

You narrow your eyes. “Your Netflix account—Oikawa123.”

He lets out a small, amused breath. “No comment.”

“Instagram? KingOikawa.”

“Hey, now—”

“Banking password?” You pause, then shake your head. “No, don’t answer that. I don’t even want to know.”

He chuckles, tipping his head back against the seat. “You’re awfully interested in my passwords, aren’t you?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m interested in the fact that you’re a narcissist.”

“And yet,” he muses, smirking at you, “you’re the one paying so much attention to me.”

Your lips part, an immediate retort on the tip of your tongue—but nothing comes out. Because damn it, he’s right.

Somewhere between hour one and hour ten, between watching him cycle through romcoms and pretending not to care, between brushing shoulders and arguing about the best scene in 10 Things I Hate About You, between the countless small moments where his presence started feeling less like an inconvenience and more like something else entirely—you started paying attention. And he knows it.

You let out a slow breath and turn toward the window. “I hate you.”

Oikawa laughs softly. “No, you don’t.”

You don’t respond. You’re too tired to lie.

 ***

At hour eleven, your seat neighbor learns something about you, too. It’s not even because you tell him, but because he notices.

The plane has dimmed its lights, casting everything in muted shades of blue and gray. The hum of the engine is steady, a low vibration beneath your feet. Most of the passengers have settled into varying stages of half-sleep—some curled against their window seats, others with neck pillows wedged awkwardly under their chins.

You, on the other hand, remain awake.

You lean against the window, knees drawn up slightly, arms folded. Your gaze is unfocused, staring out at the endless stretch of dark, empty sky. Exhaustion clings to you, but sleep never comes easy—not on planes, not in cars, not anywhere that isn’t familiar.

Oikawa shifts beside you, the rustle of fabric breaking the silence. Then, softly, he asks, “you don’t sleep well on planes, do you?”

You blink, a little surprised. “What?”

He nods at you. “You’ve been sitting like that for a while now. You look exhausted, but you’re still awake.”

You hesitate, because he’s right. You’ve never been good at this—at shutting your brain off, at forcing comfort where it doesn’t exist. Your body stays tense, your thoughts wired for worst-case scenarios, always preparing for turbulence that might never come.

“It’s fine,” you say, voice quieter than before. “I’ll sleep when I land.”

Oikawa watches you for a moment, then, without a word, grabs his hoodie from his lap and balls it up into something vaguely pillow-shaped.

“Here,” he says, placing it between you.

You frown at it. “What?”

“You’ll be more comfortable,” he says simply. “Try it.”

Your gaze flickers to his, searching for the inevitable teasing remark, the smugness, the gotcha. But for once, it’s not there. Just an easy, offhanded kindness.

You swallow. “You don’t have to—”

“I know,” he says, cutting you off before you can argue. “Just take it.”

After a moment of hesitation, you do.

And when you finally let yourself lean into it, letting the exhaustion settle into your bones, you hear him murmur—softer, barely audible— “See? Told you I’d be good at this.”

Because you’re actually significantly more comfortable and way too tired to argue, you just snuggle into the fabric and ignore your thumping heart.

 ***

At hour twelve, you wake up to warmth.

It’s subtle at first, just a gradual shift from the hazy quiet of sleep to the soft awareness of something unfamiliar. You’re warm, comfortable in a way you shouldn’t be, your head still heavy with lingering exhaustion.

Then, slowly, the details start to register.

The weight pressed lightly against your shoulder. The faint scent of something clean and familiar—fabric softener, maybe, or whatever detergent Oikawa uses. The steady rise and fall of breath, slow and even.

Your pulse stutters.

He’s leaned into you, his head resting lightly against your shoulder, body angled just slightly in your direction. His breathing is deep and even, completely at ease. At some point in the last hour, he must have drifted off.

And instead of moving away—you stayed. Your brain short-circuits. You should move. You should definitely move. But you don’t.

Instead, you sit there, utterly still, heart pounding with something you don’t want to name. Because this—this—is not how Oikawa looks on TV.

The Oikawa you’ve seen in interviews is all sharp angles and practiced charm, leaning into the cameras with a knowing smirk, effortlessly collecting attention like it’s his birthright. The Oikawa on the court is even sharper—brilliant and untouchable, playing with a confidence that borders on arrogance, eyes burning with something that makes it impossible to look away. Even after a game, drenched in sweat and exhaustion, he still performs—laughing, winking at the reporters, throwing casual remarks over his shoulder like he knows the whole world is watching.

But right now?

Right now, he’s none of those things.

His expression is unguarded, free of the practiced ease he wears like armor. His brow is smooth, his lips parted slightly, his breathing soft and steady. There’s no smirk, no carefully placed bravado—just quiet, unconscious stillness.

And it unsettles you. Because this is real.

This is not Oikawa under stadium lights or Oikawa playing to the cameras. This is just him, asleep against your shoulder, completely unaware of the effect he’s having on you.

And maybe that’s what makes it worse.

You exhale slowly, careful not to move too much, not to wake him. Your gaze drifts downward before you can stop yourself, just enough to see the way his hand has fallen between you, palm up, fingers lightly curled. For a second, just a second, you have the insane urge to reach out.

You don’t. Of course, you don’t. But the thought lingers, settling somewhere deep in your chest, unwelcome and impossible to ignore.

You turn your head toward the window, watching the faint glow of city lights far below, hoping the view will quiet whatever this feeling is.

It doesn’t. And still—you don’t wake him.

For some reason, you let him stay.

six.

There’s approximately one hour left before your plane is due to land, and you’re beginning to realize that you don’t actually want it to end.

Maybe it’s the absurdity of the whole situation, or maybe it’s because of your sleep-deprived delusions, but you like Oikawa. You don’t want to—really, you don’t. It would be infinitely easier if he were just another stranger you made small talk with before forgetting the moment you stepped off the plane. But no. He had to be annoying and charming and stupidly perceptive. He had to watch romcoms like he actually gives a damn about them. He had to see through you, easily and effortlessly, as if he simply understood you.

And now, because the universe is cruel and loves to humiliate you personally, you’re sitting here in the final stretch of this flight, hyper-aware of every single second ticking down, not wanting it to be over.

Oikawa doesn’t seem to share your existential crisis. He’s been quiet for the last twenty minutes, scrolling lazily through his phone, one elbow propped against the armrest between you. Every so often, he glances up at the in-flight map, watching as the little airplane icon inches closer to Tokyo.

You hate that it makes your stomach sink.

You shift in your seat, pressing your temple against the cool window, staring out at the early morning sky. You wonder if this is how romcom characters feel in that inevitable third-act moment, when they realize they’ve accidentally gone and caught feelings. When they recognize, with dawning horror, that the person they were supposed to be indifferent to has somehow carved their way into their life.

The difference, of course, is that those characters always get a happy ending.

You don’t know what you get.

The PA system crackles overhead. A flight attendant reminds everyone to prepare for descent. Around you, there’s the familiar rustle of people adjusting in their seats, pulling out jackets, stretching the stiffness from their limbs.

Oikawa shifts beside you, adjusting his hoodie. “Almost there,” he murmurs.

You hum, noncommittal. You think he’s going to leave it at that, but then he glances at you, eyes sharp despite the sleep still clinging to his edges. He tilts his head slightly, like he’s studying you. “You okay?”

Your grip tightens on the armrest. He notices too much. You should’ve known that he would see it—the way you’re staring too long at the window, the way you haven’t snapped at him in a while.

You force yourself to scoff. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Oikawa smirks like he knows something you don’t. “No reason.”

You hate that. You hate how easy he makes it look, the whole watching-you-like-you’re-a-puzzle-he’s-figuring-out thing. You hate that part of you wants him to keep looking.

You exhale slowly, turning back toward the window. The seatbelt light dings on. The plane begins its slow descent, the city below coming into sharper focus.

It’s almost over.

 ***

Airports are supposed to be soulless places. That’s what you tell yourself, at least, as you walk through the terminal—bleary-eyed, exhausted, your carry-on digging into your shoulder. Your brain is already working on a plan: get your bag, get through customs, forget Oikawa Tooru exists.

That plan lasts approximately five seconds before you hear it.

A cheer. Loud, unmistakable, coming from somewhere near Arrivals. You glance over, along with half the airport, and that’s when you see them.

A couple, standing in the middle of the terminal like a goddamn movie scene. One of them—tall, dark-haired, a duffel slung over his shoulder—is staring at the other like he can’t quite believe she’s real. The girl—small, blonde, practically vibrating—throws her arms around his neck and kisses him so dramatically that the people around them actually applaud.

You blink. “What the fuck.”

Oikawa appears at your side, hands in his hoodie pockets, watching the scene unfold. You can feel him glance at you, the smirk already forming.

“Well,” he says, voice smug, “would you look at that.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“You know what.”

He hums, still watching the couple, who have now dissolved into an absolute mess of forehead kisses and whispered I missed yous. It’s excessive. It’s dramatic.

It’s also… kind of nice.

You hate that you think that.

Oikawa stretches, tilting his head toward you. “So?”

You frown. “So, what?”

His smirk widens. “Do you believe in it yet?”

Your heart does something stupid. Because the question—it’s not just a callback to your in-flight debate. It’s not just him poking fun at your skepticism. It’s softer than that. More curious. Hopeful, even.

Do you believe in grand gestures? Do you believe in love that doesn’t disappoint? Do you believe in something real?

The answer forms before you can stop it. 

“…I think I’m starting to.”

Oikawa stills. Just for a second. Then, slowly, his grin shifts into something real.

You exhale, turning back toward the baggage claim, but before you can walk away, something stops you. Maybe it’s the exhaustion. Maybe it’s the high of stepping off a fourteen-hour flight and still feeling wired.

Or maybe it’s just him.

Before you can second-guess yourself, you reach for his hoodie pocket.

Oikawa blinks. “Uh—”

You pull out his phone, type in his password, and create a new contact in his list. You quickly type in your number, and pause for a second, considering, then—just to be an ass—save your name as oikawa hater. Then you hand it back to him.

Oikawa takes it, glancing between you and the screen, lips curling into something almost incredulous.

“Wow,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m actually speechless.”

“A first for you, I’m sure.”

He huffs out a laugh, eyes flickering back to his phone. He stares at your contact name for a second too long, like he’s memorizing it. Like he wants to. And then he locks his screen, tucks it back into his hoodie, and glances at you—grinning, smug, a little bit victorious.

“So,” he muses, as the baggage carousel hums to life. “Do I get to keep my title as your Peter Kavinsky now?”

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“You like me,” he says in a sing-song voice. “What happened to love only being good in movies?”

And maybe it’s just your imagination. Maybe it’s the jet lag, or the weird 6AM haze of existing between time zones. But as you step toward baggage claim, you swear—just for a second—Oikawa looks at you like the answer to that question might matter more than anything else.

Honestly, nothing is confirmed. He might never text you, or even if he does, who knows if you two would even make it past the first date. The world could end tomorrow, or he could completely forget about you, the way you thought he would. There’s always the chance that you’ll get hurt anyway. But he deserves to hear it. You, against all odds, want him to know.

So you turn, meet his eyes, and say, completely honestly, “Maybe you’re worth taking a chance on.”

⨭ closing; i wrote this instead of paying attention in my lecture lol i don't really know how i feel about this one yet but here's to hoping it'll grow on me when i'm not so tired from a long day of uni classes </3 let me know yalls thoughts but pls don't be mean :') thank u and love u all

[trannyradfem]

Wow... a link that's; referencing events mostly from outside this decade, about WoLF of ALL the organizations you could've chosen, coming from an anon blog, and linking to a news platform with an insane levels of bias. I've never seen a TRA do THAT before! /s

Take a step back. Because I'm not remotely part of WoLF or #LetWomenSpeak, in case you didn't know that. But if you wanna play that game, you're going to have to give some pretty damn good excuses for you associating with rapists like Erza Miller and Chris Chan, and then get back to me.

But I know you won't, because we both know that's a bullshit argument. You are equating a trans, seriously disabled stranger on Tumblr who has some harsh words for you, to...

☆ ICE raiding schools and arresting + traumatizing children

☆ The attempt to destroy all publically funded medical programs

☆ Removing all DEI protections at a federal level

☆ Outlawing transgender status on ID's

and so many more shit life-altering decisions Trump's tried to pull.

And you think I'm the same or worse than that for... speaking my mind on Tumblr. Just wow. You just cannot fucking stand female people who won't agree with you, can you?

What, do you think I'm in your walls or something, plotting to kill you? Whispering "kys, anon! kys!!!" into your ear every night when you go to sleep? This is just fucking ridiculous. Get a grip. Touch some grass. Go outside. Take some anti-psychotics, even, because this is downright delusional at this point.

AFABs being mean about the ways they disagree with you about politics on Tumblr aren't going to and shouldn't kill you-- it should BARELY even affect you! If you've been brainwashed to think it can kill you, then you need to focus on making yourself healthy before looking into being a vanguard for political advocacy... or even using the internet, I'd argue. I'm not remotely responsible for that lack of oversight.

I'm really tired of this pseudo-intellectualism and unwarranted paranoia fueling an overly exagerrated victim complex. It's genuinely mentally sick, and you're making each other worse, weaker, and even more miserable by encouraging this in the trans community. IT'S WHY I LEFT. Because it was too much like the literal abusive cult I was raised in! It's why so many people are defecting now.

You guys never come up with anything new, either, acting as if I didn't read this and question it when it came out. Which was BEFORE I defected, by the way. I've probably been out as trans longer than you've even been ALIVE.

So, did you really think that article was going to convince me? Because it doesn't. It only proves that I'm right, and you've just proven you don't know anything at all. Because if you sincerely think feminist women are asking men to protect them, then there's no helping you.

You've fully lost the ability to think critically, and will guzzle down any sludge so long as it has the trans flag stamped on it. You probably criticize rainbow capitalism even though it's the same exact garbage being fed to you. Have some real fucking self respect and pride, my god. I'm not going to bother with even giving you the satisfaction of arguing about this.

tbh I don’t think I’ll ever really forgive the trans movement for indoctrinating so many people into the belief that women speaking about our sex-based oppression is “terfy” and shouldn’t be allowed and any woman who does it wants to genocide trans people. even if they back off of this stance, the damage is done.

me saying “women are oppressed on basis of sex, not gender identity, and we cannot identify out of that oppression” does not mean I think it’s okay to kill or hurt trans people. it does not mean that I agree with right-wingers when they say gender non-conformity is destroying civilization. It does not mean that I am going to vote for politicians who think all gay people/gender non-conforming people are groomers.

it literally just means you cannot change your biological sex (which was never a controversial statement, even among trans people, up until like 5 years ago) and females should have special protections and spaces since we are constantly being preyed upon by males who see us as subhuman sex objects. that doesn’t mean I think all trans people are predators, it means that enough males are predatory toward women that we deserve to have spaces away from them (especially spaces where we’ll be not fully clothed).

we deserve to be able to talk about female-specific oppression without being told we’re evil genocidal nazis. and the fact that they constantly have to misrepresent what our actual beliefs are tells me they know we’re right and it scares them.

[redicillin]

i’m at the point in the series where Cameron and chase are sleeping together as fwb, can I request doctor reader who finds out about this and is really upset because she thought there was something between her and chase, but maybe chase thinks that he’s not good enough for her and that she’d never go out with him and that’s kinda why he goes fuck it and starts sleeping with Cameron? sorry if that doesn’t make much sense!! 😭💗

𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫. (𝐫.𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞)

chase made a stupid mistake, and it ended everything between the two of you before it even began.

gn!reader ☆ 1.0k ☆ masterlist. ☆ sorry—

You’ve always prided yourself on being rational. You don’t get involved in workplace gossip, you don’t let emotions cloud your medical decisions, and you certainly don’t engage in petty jealousy.

But right now, sitting in House’s office as he drones on about a new case, you can feel the tightness in your chest, the sting behind your eyes, and the unrelenting weight of something ugly and unspoken pressing against your ribs.

Chase is sleeping with Cameron.

You wish you hadn’t found out. That House hadn’t been an ignorant prick and outed the two in the middle of the diagnostics room.

Maybe you could have gone a little longer in blissful ignorance, believing the stolen glances between you and Chase meant something.

Maybe you could have continued thinking that the lingering touches, the way his gaze softened when he looked at you, the easy banter—it all meant something.

But it doesn’t. Because if it had, Chase wouldn’t have fallen into bed with someone else.

You swallow down the lump in your throat and focus on House as he scrawls nonsense across the whiteboard. No one else in the room seems remotely aware of your inner turmoil. Foreman is scribbling notes, Cameron looks perfectly composed, and Chase—

Chase won’t meet your eyes.

That hurts most of all.

You don’t know how you missed it. Looking back, the signs were there. The subtle shift in Chase’s demeanor, the way Cameron would smirk at him from across the room, the way they seemed… closer. More comfortable. And now, knowing what you know, you can’t unsee it.

“You still with us?” House’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You blink and realise that everyone is staring at you.

“I’m fine,” you reply, keeping your tone even.

House gives you a look like he doesn’t believe you but, surprisingly, doesn’t push. “Great. Go do doctor things.” He waves a dismissive hand. “You especially.” He points at Chase. “I need a coffee, British people drink coffee don’t they?”

“Australian,” Chase rolls his eyes but stands, shooting you a hesitant glance before leaving the room.

You should let it go. You should get back to work, shove your feelings down where they belong, and pretend none of this affects you.

But you don’t. Instead, you follow him.

—

You catch up to Chase in the break room, where he’s waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing. He notices you instantly, posture stiffening as he glances over his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says cautiously.

You cross your arms, leaning against the counter. “Hey.”

For a moment, there’s only silence between you. The sound of coffee dripping into the pot is the only thing filling the space, and the tension is suffocating.

Finally, Chase sighs. “I should’ve told you,”

The confirmation makes your stomach twist. It’s not even a denial, not even an attempt to play dumb. Just quiet resignation.

“Does it matter?” you ask, voice quieter than you’d like.

He exhales sharply, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess not,”

You want to be rational about this. You want to be mature. But all you can think about is how stupid you feel. How blind you were to something happening right under your nose.

“I just…” You shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. “I thought there was something between us.”

Chase’s jaw tightens, his gaze dropping to the floor.

You swallow hard. “Was I wrong?”

“No,” he admits. “You weren’t,”

His voice is quiet, but the weight of his words slams into you with full force. You weren’t wrong.

“Then why?” The question leaves your lips before you can stop it.

Chase exhales, dragging a hand through his hair. “Because it wouldn’t have mattered,”

Your brows furrow. “What?”

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and there’s something almost painful in his expression.

“You’re… you,” he says, as if that’s supposed to explain everything. “You’re brilliant. And focused. And incredible. And I—” He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I didn’t think I had a chance,”

Your heart clenches. “So instead of even trying, you just… what? Slept with the first woman you spoke to?”

He flinches. “It wasn’t like that,”

“Then what was it like?”

He hesitates, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” he admits. “Easy? Safe?”

That stings more than it should. “So I wouldn’t have been easy or safe?”

His gaze sharpens. “No. You would’ve been real,”

The words knock the breath from your lungs.

Chase shakes his head, jaw tight. “Look, I know I screwed up. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Hell, I didn’t even think I had the ability to hurt you,” He huffs a bitter laugh. “Guess I was wrong,”

You don’t know what to say to that. Because he did hurt you. And the worst part is, you don’t know if he even realised he had the power to.

Silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating.

Finally, you speak. “Do you love her?”

Chase doesn’t answer right away. And that tells you everything you need to know.

“No,” he says at last, voice barely above a whisper.

You nod slowly, processing his answer.

Chase steps closer, hesitating before speaking again. “Do you love me?”

Your breath catches.

It would be so easy to lie, to tell him no, to walk away and pretend none of this mattered. But you’ve never been good at lying to yourself.

“I could have.”

Chase’s expression twists with something unreadable. Regret, maybe.

You don’t say anything else. You just turn and walk away, leaving him standing there with the weight of everything unspoken between you.

Because maybe, in another life, in another version of this story, things could have been different.

But in this one, Chase never even gave you the chance.

[acasualcrossfade]

Steddie Love Month: Day 3

Barefoot on the Grass, Listening to His Favorite Song

Stranger Things, Steddie

Rating: T

CW: making out

For Day 3 of @steddielovemonth for the prompt: Perfect - Ed Sheeran

Words: 995

--------

The grass was damp with dew and it made Steve’s toes curl with cold, sending a full body shiver through him. The morning was barely awake, and the sky was streaked with the secrets of sunrise. Summer was a whisper of possibility, but the morning chill was enough for Steve to be thankful for his yellow sweater, and for his ability to talk Eddie into wearing one of his hoodies. The decision had nothing to do with his own guilty pleasure of seeing Eddie in his clothes.

Steve’s heart hummed at the sight of Eddie’s slimmer frame in his larger hoodie, and he couldn’t help but hug Eddie from behind. The movement surprised Eddie, and Eddie laughed as he turned around in Steve’s arms to pull him closer. 

“Good morning to you too,” Eddie smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek, his lips parting in a smile. His arms stayed wrapped around Steve. “Although I will say, I haven’t been up this early in awhile.”

Steve laughed, his own sleepiness turning to giddiness. “I haven’t stayed up this late in awhile,” he responded. His voice was husky with exhaustion.

It had been a long night of watching the kids fight to stay awake to stay up for the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition movie marathon night. It officially ended sometime around 3am, when Mike and Will finally fell asleep against Dustin’s sprawled legs. The living room was now a battleground of fallen soldiers fast asleep in a tangle of limbs and pillows. The two of them lasted until the end, sitting in silence before taking advantage of the time alone.

It was hard enough to grasp that life was as back to normal as it could get, safe enough for them to all sleep in a room together without feeling threatened. In the midst of that realization, Steve found himself selfish, craving more of these moments with Eddie. Moments when it was just the two of them, nearly tripping over themselves as they snuck out of the living room of sleeping teens in the same way Steve used to sneak out of his house. 

In too many ways, Steve felt like a kid again and relished it. The Upside Down had taken too much of all of them, and they all had a lot of catching up to do.

Steve knew he had a lot of catching up to do, and he chose the next moment to steal another kiss from his boyfriend. 

Boyfriend.

The word felt as unfamiliar as the relationship, and somehow, being with Eddie was effortless. There was an ease, no hiding away from hurts and old hauntings that came in the night or old battle scars that still beat them down on harder days. Eddie didn’t just know the invisible and untouched parts of him, but had the heart to take his time to understand them to then comfort them. 

Eddie did so now, cupping Steve’s cheek to meet his gaze. “You look perfect,” Eddie sighed.

His heart hummed at the sight of Eddie in his hoodie, Eddie in red plaid pajama pants, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, so heartbreakingly beautiful in the morning light and he couldn’t help but hug Eddie from behind. The sudden movement surprised his guitarist boyfriend, and he laughed as he turned around in Steve’s arms to pull him closer. 

“Good morning to you too,” Eddie smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek, his lips parting in a smile. Eddie’s voice was husky exhaustion.  “Although I will say, I haven’t been up this early in awhile.”

Steve giggled, his own sleepiness turning to giddiness. “I haven’t stayed up this late since…,” he started, a yawn forcing its way through the end of his sentence. “Since school,” he finished as his eyes watered. 

“So what class would you call this?” Eddie asked, giving Steve a coy look. 

For once, Steve skipped the witty reply and simply kissed Eddie, Eddie’s lips opening to part to allow him in. Eddie moaned, pulling Steve impossibly closer, closer, trying to climb Steve like a flagpole but failing, tripping them into a tumble of pajamas and limbs that ended with them in a pile in the dewy grass. Dampness spread across Steve’s hip as he sank into the grass, but that didn’t stop him from closing the centimeters between him and Eddie to complete their kiss. He confidently crawled over to straddle Eddie, not caring how the dew soaked into the knees of his sweatpants.

“Whatever class it is, you’re acing it,” Eddie smiled. “And I think this might be my favorite class.”

Eddie pulled him closer, tracing Steve’s lips with his tongue before taking him in his mouth again. 

“You look perfect,” Eddie breathed between kisses, moaning on his exhales. “You look so perfect like this.” Eddie’s fingers found Steve’s and wound their hands together so tight they became one. “I think you might be an angel,” he mumbled.

Steve’s eyes were heavy as he leaned against Eddie and took in his sweet and smoky scent.  “I think your voice is my favorite song,” Steve admitted. And when Eddie met his eyes, for the first time, Steve saw his future there.

Steve held back the biting thought that he didn’t deserve this, he couldn’t have this, and instead, replaced those thoughts with more of Eddie’s lips against his. 

Steve wasn’t sure how long they lay there or who may have fallen asleep first. He wasn’t sure when the dew dried or if it was weird to be asleep in the grass with his boyfriend. All he knew  that in Eddie’s arms, like this, in the grass and the disappearing darkness of the oncoming dawn, that perfection wasn’t an instant or a moment. It wasn’t a flash you had to hope to hold on to, but rather, was the promise of a future. A life together. Maybe a kid or two.

And for now, that started here, with Eddie asleep in his arms. 

[pascalislove]

The Call: Han Jeong-Won x Fem Reader!!

Summary: Your arrival would change everything, even if Jeong-Won didn't know it.

The clock on the wall marked two in the morning, but Han Jeong-Won couldn't sleep. The city of Seoul shone beyond the windows of his luxurious penthouse, but all he saw was the reflection of his tired face in the glass. The same empty expression he had worn for months.He clenched his jaw as his gaze fell on the phone lying on the coffee table. For the last hour, he had been debating with himself whether or not to make the call his assistant, worried about his "singleness," had suggested in hushed, uncomfortable whispers.

New Marriage: Where contracts become solutions.Jeong-Won had let out a dry laugh when he first heard that slogan. The idea had seemed absurd back then, but now… now everything seemed less ridiculous than living every day feeling the pitying stares or, worse yet, the evident contempt from his ex-wife.Seo-Yeon.Just thinking of her made his chest tighten. That woman had been his greatest mistake and his greatest weakness. Their marriage had ended in flames, consumed by hatred and guilt. She blamed him for the loss of their baby, and even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, the guilt had settled on him like a second skin."Dammit..." he muttered, grabbing the phone with determination.He dialed the number he had saved under the nondescript name "Service N." The waiting tone echoed in his ear, and for a moment, he thought about hanging up."New Marriage, good morning. How can we help you?" a soft, professional female voice answered.Jeong-Won swallowed hard."I want... to hire a wife."There was a brief silence on the other end of the line."Excuse me?""I want a wife," he repeated coldly. "As soon as possible."The operator seemed to regain her composure."Do you have any specific requirements?"Jeong-Won reclined on the sofa, running a hand through his messy hair."She needs to be discreet. I don’t care about her past. I just need her to be convincing.""Understood. What is the purpose of the contract?"He smiled, a bitter, twisted grimace."I want my ex-wife to see me happy. I want her to regret leaving me."The operator didn’t seem surprised. She had heard it all on this line."Very well, Mr. Han. We will send you an appropriate profile within the next 24 hours."He hung up before he could overthink what he had just done.The weight of his decision settled in the air like an impending storm. Jeong-Won knew that this wouldn’t solve his life, but at that moment, making her jealous was the closest thing to a victory he could imagine.And when you have nothing left to lose, even a fake marriage can seem like an opportunity.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled Y/N's small apartment as Loki, her faithful white puppy, ran around her feet while she poured herself a cup and let out a satisfied sigh. Life hadn't been easy lately, but Y/N always found a way to keep her spirits up.Since her family had faced financial problems, Y/N had to take on unconventional jobs to make ends meet. That’s how she ended up registering with the New Marriage agency, a discreet but peculiar company that offered marriage services... by contract.The agreement was simple: temporary marriages lasting one year to cover personal or social needs of clients. Although the idea had seemed strange at first, the money was too good to turn down."It’s just a job, Y/N," she had told herself in front of the mirror the day she signed her contract as a "temporary wife candidate."The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She looked at the screen and saw the agency’s number."Hello?""Good morning, Miss Y/N. This is Min Seo from New Marriage.""Ah, hello," she replied, trying to sound calm despite her heart racing."We're calling to inform you that you've been selected for a special case."Y/N furrowed her brow."Special?""Yes. The client is Han Jeong-Won, a well-known music producer."Y/N couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. She had heard that name on the radio and in the news. A music genius, but with a reputation for being reserved and, according to rumors, difficult to deal with."And what’s the request?" she asked with curiosity."Marriage by contract, of course. Duration: one year. The client’s goal is primarily to make an impression in his social circle and, specifically, in front of his ex-wife."Y/N bit her lip. She wasn't unfamiliar with the extravagant cases the agency handled, but this request sounded more complicated than usual."An angry ex-husband? Sounds... interesting," she joked with a nervous tone."The client has made it clear that he needs discretion and a partner who can handle social situations with ease. We believe you are a perfect fit."Y/N sighed, looking at Loki, who was now chewing his favorite toy."Alright, I accept the offer."Min Seo smiled on the other end of the line."Perfect. We’ll send you the details for the initial meeting with the client."When the call ended, Y/N collapsed onto the sofa, petting Loki’s soft ears."Well, Loki, looks like mom just signed a deal with destiny."The dog barked happily."Yes, I think this is going to be crazy too."Unknowingly, Y/N was about to meet the loneliest man in Seoul, someone who didn’t believe in second chances. But maybe, with her cheerful spirit, she would be exactly what he never knew he needed.

Tell me if you like this story:3

The Call Masterlist

[sh1ggyluvrr]

Unexpected. (Shigaraki x f! Reader)

Tomura has been acting weird and you've been feeling weird so you decide to take a pregnancy test… No quirks AU! Part 2, Word Count: 1.7K

TW: Pregnancy sex, a little bit of breasts/tit play, breeding kink, other then that it’s pretty vanilla in my opinion…

A/N: I’m so sorry this tool so long—very very busy as usual..

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

Pregnancy was not easy for either of us. I knew I'd have a difficult time but this was preposterous. Upon the first trimester, my diet was completely out the door. I'd be dining on any weird and outlandish thing my mind could think of, eating it down like it was my last meal on Earth. My mood plummeted over the span of a few weeks. Tomura was wary of my moods and my cravings. No matter how odd my meal suggestions were, he'd do his best to accommodate me. There was no judgment when feeding me. He gave me tons of space.

I didn’t have a reason to be remorseful, Tomura was doing a lot for me but I still felt… impatient. One slip-up would have me yelling at him. One petty mistake had me fuming and throwing a tantrum. Of course, I'd come to my senses a couple of hours after and realize how shitty I was treating him—but I couldn't control it. I'd get angry for a few hours, cry, eat, sleep for 2, then do it all over again. I was already tired and regretting my decision to keep this spawn of Satan. I think Tomura realized this and decided to take a different approach to caring for me.

He had just gotten home, he was harboring bags of groceries. He took them inside and laid them on the kitchen table. I heard when the door opened and made my way downstairs. “Did you get it? The food I mean….” I said, standing beside him as I looked down at the bags. He nodded, his hand made its way around my waist then his lips made contact with my cheek.

“What are you doing??”

“Being affectionate… like what you said.”

“Stop it, I don't want it right now.”

“Oh, well I couldn't help it. You look so good now that you’re showing…”

I looked down at myself. I'd been so moody lately, that I hadn't even noticed the development of the baby. I pouted, my face becoming that of annoyance. I scoffed a low ‘Whatever’ as I rummaged through the bag for the snacks I had asked for. I took them upstairs, not bothering to make any further conversations with him. At the moment, I didn't care for bonding or affection whatever he wanted to refer to it as, I wasn't having it.

I eventually finished my snacks and threw the empty wrappers in the trash can that was placed beside the bed. I yawned, finally feeling drowsy. My thoughts ran through what he said earlier. ‘Was I already showing?’ I lifted my shirt and looked down at my stomach. I poked at it, no movement. Of course not, it was too early for any of that. I pouted, and feelings of sadness and emptiness rushed over me. I was being such a pain to the one person who was there to help me. I didn't realize the door had been pushed open, revealing Tomura’s figure. He stood there for a moment before I met eyes with him. Tears streamed down my face, the alarms going off in his brain upon noticing the glisten in my teary eyes.

“I'm sorry… I’m being such a—a brat I..”

He walked over to the side of the bed, and it sank under his weight. He placed a gentle hand on my exposed stomach that did, in fact, have a small bump in it. “There’s no need to apologize… I understand it's the baby messing with your hormones,” he murmured in a humbled tone. His hand then trailed up to my face to wipe my tears away. I sniffled, too ashamed to make eye contact with him. His finger made its way under my chin to lift my face. His lips made contact with my soft ones. I didn’t fight nor did I cuss him out. I melted in against him. My lips moved against his.

My hands found their way to his torso. He broke the kiss, his lips making their way down to my jawline and then to my neck, planting sensual kisses against my skin. I made small noises at the contact. He moved his face a few inches away from my skin, and his voice came in a low breathy hum, “Are you sure…?” I nodded without having to think about it.

He gently laid me down on my back before resuming his attack on my neck. I could tell he was leaving big hickies across my neck. “I’ve been missing this…,” he murmured against my supple skin. He placed his hands under my shirt before lifting it over my head. I hadn’t been wearing a bra because of how sensitive my breasts had become. His lips came down on my collarbone then on my chest, then down to my breast. I flinched as I felt the contact. A small moan left me, his lips latched onto my sensitive nipple.

“You’re so sweet… You taste so good..,” He breathed out against my chest. I groped a handful of it and squeezed lightly; I whimpered in response. “Not too rough… they’re—sensitive,” I whined, shuffling a bit under him. He didn't listen, he just continued to suck and grope my tits. “I can’t wait till you start lactating… I’d be suckling off of you for hours, lavishing in your sweet milk,” he huffed out, his breath tickling my nipple.

He placed a wet open-mouthed kiss on my nipple before moving down to the bulge of my stomach. “You’re so full… I wish you could be full like this all the time,” he groaned out. He caressed my stomach softly, uttering the word, ‘Perfect’ while planting a few more kisses on my small baby bump. He made his way down to my inner thighs, spreading my legs apart. He planted a small kiss on my clothed core. His hands made their way to the waistband of my shorts and pantied—gently pulling them down, revealing my soaked cunny. A small string of slick separated as he discarded my undergarments; placing them somewhere on the floor.

His lips made contact with my sensitive clit. His lips latched onto the small bud and sucked on it. “Tomu-! Fuck… please, be gentle…,” I moaned desperately, my hands instantly made its way through his light blue frizzy hair. His head bobbed as he licked on my clit, sucking it gently every now and then. His lips moved down to my cunt. His tongue plunged into my opening and I moaned out his name. My back arched and my head sank into the mattress as desperate moans and pleas left my mouth. “Tomura…I—it feels too good…”

He made a quiet grunt against my cunt causing me to twitch, my walls contracting as my climax drew closer. “I can’t let you cum yet, baby—I haven’t gotten my fix just yet.” He sat up, his hands working to take off his belt. Once off, it, along with his undergarments, were thrown on the floor. He leaned over me once more to place a gentle kiss on my lips, his hard twitching tip making contact with my aching cunt.

“Inside… Don’t tease me..,” I whined helplessly, moving my hips to get a better feel of him. “Patience, baby…,” his voice was like silk as he spoke in my ear. He guided his cock against my entrance—slowly rubbing his veiny girth against my slick-covered pussy. “Mmh…please, fill me up, I need it…,” I begged before he interrupted my whining, “Seeing you beg while you’re already filled with my baby, makes me want to breed you over and over again…,” he slurred as his lips made contact with my skin once more. Small whiny noises left his lips as he rubbed his heat against mine.

I cried out as I felt him plunge inside of me with a sharp thrust of his hips. He groaned out as my gummy walls enclosed around him. “Your pussy is so tight—it’s gripping me so desperately,” he kissed my cheek again. His thrusts were slow and long. I squirmed under him as he continued to slowly plunge his length inside of me. Sweet nothings left his lips; his breathing became labored.

He placed his lips over mine, giving me an open-mouthed, sloppy kiss. I wrapped my arms around his upper body so he was lying atop me. His cock continued to thrust into my soft walls. I arched my back off of the bed, moaning his name. Tomura took that as the initiative to plunge into my pussy faster.

“Mura…please— ah—I feel…so full-!”

I moaned out, gripping the messed-up blankets around us. Low groans and desperate moans left him as well. His cock was soaked in slick and I could tell he was close. My pussy twitched in response to his noises. He paused for a moment, his length twitching inside me. I placed my hand on his arm, encouraging him to keep going.

“I’m close too…cum inside of me—I’m already full of your baby…”

I continued to rub his arm, nodding my head at him. He moved inside of me one more time, shaky breaths leaving him once more. My hips twitched and I bit my lower lip. My legs wrapped around his hips forcing him to plunge inside me one last time before I came. My arms gripped his back—my nails plunged into his skin. He whimpered right in my ear. His eyes shut as I felt his muscles tense and his cum filled my womb.

After a minute or two I felt him relax on top of me. We were both out of breath and sweat. He was beginning to get heavy so I pushed him off of me. He rolled onto his back beside me.

“I’ll help you clean up..”

He offered, I shook my head in protest. I turned on my side to face him and cuddled on his side.

“We can clean up in the morning… Stay with me.”

He smiled before kissing the top of my forehead. His arms made their way around my body. The heat that radiated off of him along with his heartbeat lulled me to sleep.

“Good night, my love…”

[paperyowl]

For your prompt :

I really want a story where Deacon and Rocker have a house in the same neighborhood as Luca, with extra rooms for the kids.

One day, due to some problem with her apartment, Annie and the children have to stay with Deacon and Rocker. Obviously, it’s not simple, Annie is angry/hurt...

But she attends moments that make her realize that maybe the relationship of his ex with Rocker is more "fluid" and Deacon accepts more to be helped, instead of wanting at all costs to be the provider, he talks more with Rocker and relied and him more.

One morning, for example, Lila wants to go see her father in his room, and Annie sees them sleeping, Deacon being the little spoon and embraced by Rocker, something he had never allowed himself with Annie.

A few desires in bulk, I hope that it will inspire you!

Okay so, my only thoughts about this are: four kids are A LOT. xD Don't know if I did this justice, but I tried.

+++

"I hope these are okay," Rocker said as he put the extra blankets near the foot of the bed. Or rather beds - now pushed together to make room for Annie and her two youngest. Rocker looked apologetic. "Sorry about this. I know it's not ideal - we can get something else worked out tomorrow; it's just all been a bit..."

He made a gesture with his hand that indicated the chaos that Annie only knew about distantly now. She was still part of the 50-squat family. Just no longer as David's wife.

"That's alright," Annie told him, trying for a smile. "Thank you."

He nodded, telling her dinner was almost ready. Three of her kids were downstairs while Victoria was napping in her crib. Annie would get her in a minute and join them. Matthew and Lila were apparently setting the table - or, as she knew her kids, probably resisting that particular chore. But she wasn't going to say that out loud, not to Rocker.

It didn't seem right to go for a teasing remark with him. They weren't at that stage with each other - maybe they could have been once, before the divorce. Now, there were too many variables. Like Annie's tone, which she couldn't always control around Rocker. Or his reaction.

Annie had noticed how carefully he moved around her, never quite getting too close, unfailingly polite. It's hard to remember that she isn't really angry with him - David had made this decision. They'd made it together.

She was still a little wrong-footed by the whole situation. How could she not be? But it wouldn't do to dwell on that. She could be pleasant for a day or two until she got to go back home.

When Annie made her way down the stairs with Victoria on her hip, she just saw Rocker grab a shrieking and giggling at Lila under one of his arms. It seemed like the end of a rather short game of catch.

"Let's go help your big brother," Rocker told Lila, definitely not too firm, before carrying her the rest of the way to the dining room. The way the kids seemed to take to Rocker was sweet. He was good with them.

But Annie's attention was caught by something else - namely David. He was crouched next to Samuel, who had scattered quite a few toys across the floor. But his attention was entirely on Lila and Donovan. Before Annie could entirely figure out the emotion on his face, David spotted her.

"Hi," he said. "Are you two good?"

Annie nodded, and had to stop herself from walking over to him for a kiss. This was not them anymore. The realization hurt - and it must have shown on her face, too, because David came over to her, touching her shoulder briefly in a way that almost soothed her. But not quite.

Dinner was a bit of a production - which was to be expected with four kids. But between the two of them, David and Rocker entertained the older kids.

Honestly, the whole thing about preparing dinner, setting the table, eating together - it was all very domestic. There was a rhythm to how the kids moved here, how they interacted with David in this house. With Rocker. Had it really been a whole year since the divorce?

"Did they say when they could send someone to fix the water damage?" David asked a little while later. "You can stay as long as you need to, of course."

It was an earnest offer - and when Annie glanced at Rocker, he gave her an affirming nod. There was nothing on his face that told her he wanted her gone. (A cruel voice in her mind told Annie that she'd never suspected David had already fallen in love with someone else. She knew David could keep things from her, but she also wondered how good of a liar Donovan was.)

"The husband of a good friend of mine promised to help out," Annie said. She didn't add that they were divorced, too. That seemed like unnecessary information. "I hope he can take a look the day after tomorrow."

After dinner, Deacon and Rocker waved away Annie's offer to help with the dishes. Rocker made a comment about her day having been exhausting enough, and that was true - but neither of them had signed up to host all of them on such short notice. Annie wanted to protest.

"Work your magic and get the kids to decide on a movie," David said with an expression that Annie hadn't seen on him in so long that it felt vaguely nostalgic for a different time when they'd been happy in their marriage.

But David didn't linger and followed Donovan into the kitchen.

Annie set up the kids on the couch, and they really ended up deciding on a movie - there was a whole voting system they'd made up. Thankfully, Samuel was mostly too young and too starstruck with his older sibling to protest, and of course, Victoria was happy with mostly anything that was colourful. (This, in turn, was starting to be a bit frustrating for her eldest, but for now, Annie could bridge that gap.)

She was a bit struck by how precarious the balance in her family seemed to have become. It felt like so many things were slipping through her fingers - and some were already irrevocably out of reach.

"Mommy, can we get some snacks?" Lila asked, and it really had been a long day for everyone involved. Annie got up, and wandered back to the kitchen. She was almost certain that David kept some of his kids 'favourites in the cabinets at the far end of the kitchen-

"-stand there and be pretty," Rocker said teasingly. David huffed.

"It's not that bad-"

"You tackled a man down a flight of stairs."

Annie knew nothing about this. But that thought hurt less than the idea of David hurt, so she wasn't quite sure how to feel about overhearing this - stuck between two emotions.

"Two weeks ago!"

"You're lucky you're cute."

Annie was still hidden from view, but she'd inched forward enough to see David blush, laughing at the comment.

"What's with the compliments? Are you trying a new tactic to make me agree with you?"

"Is it working?" Rocker asked, hands covered in suds almost to his ellbows-and David grabbed his face with both hands to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss, something entirely tender.

"Maybe?" David suggested that when they broke apart, it was Rocker's turn to laugh. He finished washing his hands, drying them on a towel.

"You're the most handsome, sexiest-"

"Okay, that's a little much," David interrupted, but Annie could see how pleased he was even from the doorway.

"- kindest man I know."

Rocker's voice had taken an earnest edge - and when Annie saw the way David looked at him, with his eyes softening like that, she left quickly. Her mind was chaotic with guilt - she shouldn't have listened in, even if it had been an accident.

"Did they not have any snacks?" Her daughter asked when Annie returned to the living room. She had completely forgotten about that. At least Lila was still young enough to not question when Annie claimed she'd gotten a little distracted on the way. It was almost the truth anyway.

There was one good thing about all of this: It had been a while since Annie had shared the bed with her kids like this - and they were growing so fast that she couldn't help but wonder how soon she'd lose this privilege.

It had still been early when Matthew had asked, if he could go and play in the living room - and he'd taken Samuel with him when he'd asked without Annie's encouragement. She was proud of her eldest for that.

"Can we go wake Daddy and Don?" Lila asked when she had woken up just a little later, and Annie smiled at the sweetness of her daughter.

When they snuck across the hallway, the door to the bedroom was cracked, and Annie pushed it open a little more. In the half darkness, She could see their arms overlapping, fingers interlacing. The way Rocker held David was protective - somehow, she hadn't expected that. There was a gentleness in the scene, just in what little she could see in the low light and the shapes of the room, that spoke volumes to their relationship.

It still hurt a little. Probably would for a while - but there was a soft balm in the thought that David looked more relaxed in Donovan's arms than he had looked in a long time. And last night, he'd seemed so much lighter than she knew him. Annie wanted that for him.

"They've had a couple of long days at work, darling," Annie told Lila. "Why don't we go make breakfast for them?"

A little later, when she poured Rocker a cup of coffee, Annie thought she managed a smile that was a little more genuine than the ones before. You make him happy, she thought, and I can be grateful for that.

[finelyageddragons]

I have been replaying Dragon Age Origins again and I have so fucking much love for this game and the origins system and how much roleplay it has inspired me to do. The blorbos are blorbing in my head so much right now, I can hear them crying over their trauma already and hear myself crying as I bring them the comfort and hope I wish for myself. I am so in love with the power of stories and as flawed as it is, Dragon Age is such a beautiful muse.

[expelliarmus]

[byanyan]

okay!!! got a couple short replies to tiny starters crammed into my (still paused) queue... it's not much, but it's something. tomorrow i'll try to get a bit more done, maybe restart the queue, etc. etc., but. yeah. baby steps.

[queenerdloser]

everyone wish me luck my dumb ass decided i could handle two double shifts back to back which means today i'm going to be at work for 16hrs, go home and sleep for like 5hrs and then be back at work for 16hrs. i'm in hour 2.5 of 16 so i need all the help i can get.

[hikarry]

Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:

I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment

I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month

To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin

How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself

I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart

So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead