#Not the Canon AU

[skulduggery-pleasant-bp9]

Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe

WARNING!: Working on corpses, a bit graphic, cutting open of bodies, organ removal, what Coroner’s usually do, cursing AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!

Part 11 - Inspections

Kenspeckle got out two Scalpels and gave one to M/n. He took it and carefully cut into one of the eyes. Black liquid started to leak out almost as soon as the eye was opened. M/n cringed. The only thing he hates was testing, inspecting and cutting open eyeballs...

“These...these are Necromancy remains.”, Kenspeckle informed.

“Looks like black ink to me...”, M/n muttered.

“Necromancy is black.”, Skulduggery answered.

“Is that how they died ?”, Ghastly asked.

Kenspeckle shook his head.

“No. This just means that Necromancy killed them. If Necromancy killed a person, it stays in the body and after a certain time, the eyes turn black and this will happen when you cut the eye open.”, the Doctor answered.

“So we need to find the place, the Necromancy hit most in the bodies. In other words...we have to cut them open and get all the organs out for further inspections...”, M/n stated dryly.

“Yes.”, Kenspeckle confirmed.

“Yay. Okay then. Sister, turn your ass around. No more show for you.”, M/n told Stephanie.

“Noted.”, she replied and turned around.

With that Kenspeckle and M/n got ready to open up the bodies.

“Before you cut the body open, Corrupted.”, Kenspeckle called M/n’s attention on him.

“Yes, Professor Grouse ?”, M/n replied, with an interested voice.

“Be careful. There could be a possibility that Necromancy will leak out of the body. Cut it open carefully and slowly.”

“Noted, Sir.”

“Good. Then let’s not waste any more time.”

With that they both started at the same time, to open the bodies. Kenspeckle was right. Black started to leak out of the cut in the torso. M/n was a bit shocked, but he’s seen worse.

-Time skip-

They had almost all the organs out at this point. M/n could tell it had been a bit over two hours. He took out the organs and Kenspeckle inspected them. Almost all of the organs were filled with black. The Necromancy spread, but they HAD the find the place it hit in and had the most Necromancy inside. Kenspeckle could do that better than M/n, so he did that and M/n gave him the organs.

“We know the organs that were hit first now, Skulduggery.”, Kenspeckle informed, after the last organ from the second body was examined.

“Oh ? The hearts ?”, the Skeleton asked.

Kenspeckle shook his head.

“No. Ghastly do you have pen and paper ready to note it down ?”

“I have, Professor.”

M/n leaned back and had his left thigh resting on his desk, looking at the three Mages. Kenspeckle told him already and he was slightly disgusted, that someone would do something like that.

“Number eight was drowned from Necromancy. You heard me right. The Necromancy hit his lungs and it filled them up, making the victim drown from it alone. He must have been the one to claw at number seven’s leg. Eight must have been in a war with himself as he was drowning in Necromancy. He could have been forced to hurt his partner, as the Necromancy took over his dying body and mind, hence the burn mark.”, Kenspeckle explained the first case.

“So he threw himself around ?”, Ghastly asked.

“No. Number eight was thrown around. It could be that victim seven fought back, or it happened before the Necromancy was forced into his body, by the killer. Number seven had the most Necromancy in his brain though. Or at least...what remained of it.”, M/n stated.

“What...remained of it ?”, Stephanie asked her Brother, back still to them.

“The Necromancy took care to make the brain explode inside the victim’s skull. There were only small remains, the rest must have bled out of his mouth and nose, which must have been cleaned off by one of the oafs that picked the bodies up and brought them here. The small pieces, that, I found and got out, showed us that it had the most Necromancy, which means, that it was the spot, which got infected first. I am unsure if we should inspect the bones too, just to make absolutely sure.”, M/n shortly explained.

Ghastly wrote it all on the paper, his breath very heavy.

“Fucking hell...”, the tailor muttered out in shock.

“Language ! Not in front of my little Sister.”, M/n scolded.

“You curse all the time.”, Stephanie deadpanned.

“I am a special case, Sister. Now shush.”

“Fine...”

“We should inspect the bones.”, Kenspeckle told M/n.

“Well then, let me get the machine ready. I need to see if the idiots emptied it and then I need to fill in the chemicals, which will melt away everything and give us the bones. Oh !”

M/n turned back around and gave Skulduggery a camera.

“Make pictures. You know, for evidence. We have pics of the corpses, the location they were found in, as in the state, and their nude forms too, so the bruises were already taken into account. This is the examination process and then comes the bone examination evidence in pictures. My Sis can’t take the pictures, Ghastly has to note down, Kenspeckle has to prepare and I have a machine to take care of, so YOU take the pictures. I hope you know how to operate a photo Camera.”, M/n said and then left again.

Skulduggery gave M/n’s back a bemused face.

“How stupid and old does he take me for ? Of course I know how to take pictures and how to operate a photo Camera...”, Skulduggery muttered.

“You are a few centuries old, Skulduggery and usually old people don’t like technology.”, Kenspeckle fires at the Skeleton Detective.

Skulduggery looked at the Professor, then muttered something and started to take pictures from different angles, even from the examined organs.

After a while, M/n came back and told Kenspeckle to bring the first body. After 30 minutes they came back with just the bones remaining of the first body, then they did the second one and another 30 minutes later they came back with these two.

“There are specks of Necromancy engraved into the bones.”, Kenspeckle said.

“Yes, which means the Necromancy was used violently, quick and not carefully. It was hectic.”, M/n confirmed.

“So the bones are infected too.”, Skulduggery stated softly.

“Yes, they are, but they were only infected slightly. The fight was hectic, which means it wasn’t precise. After the Necromancy spread over the whole body, the bones got small remaining specks of it too. Imagine it like a knife was used. Someone stabbed quickly and in a rush, sometimes you put a lot more strength into your blows, than you planned, and then you hit bone. The Necromancy specks, on the bones, are like scratches of a knife. They are messy and not at all the cause of death, just a symbol of more damage.”, M/n explained shortly.

He looked at his Sister and sighed.

“If you can look at human skeletons, you can look, Sister.”

Stephanie turned around and looked at the bones. She saw them white and black. The specks of Necromancy were the black spots then. Ghastly noted it all down and Skulduggery took pictures.

Kenspeckle continued to look at the bones, while M/n stood back and drank a few gulps of water. He didn’t drink anything until now, so it was needed.

“How long have we been here ?”, Stephanie asked.

“At least 3 hours. Could be four too.”, M/n answered his Sister.

She stared at her Brother.

“That long already ?!”

“What are you talking about ? This is the fastest I’ve ever been. I am usually forced to work all alone and do everything at once, because my coworkers don’t do shit. I am usually sitting on ONE corpse for at least SIX hours. And don’t you even dare to calculate the time for the report making in there, that takes another two hours. This is fast, because everyone is actually helping me here, for once !”, M/n informed his Sister, with a slight edge to his voice.

She stared at him in horror with her mouth tightly shut. Kenspeckle looked at M/n in confusion and worry.

“Why don’t you tell your Boss about it ?”, Kenspeckle asked.

“Because he won’t listen.”, M/n sighed out and messaged the bridge of his nose.

“You tried ?”

“Multiple times. This is one reason why the older Coroner left in the end with the few people that did at least SOMETHING to help. He asked me, if I wanted to come along, but I didn’t want to be a bother, so I decided that I will take over everything. I am still in contact with the other Coroner, but...well...I barely talk to him. He is a nice man though.”

“Huh, what a shame...”, Kenspeckle said in disappointment.

M/n shrugged his shoulders at that.

“Humans can be blind and oblivious sometimes. Don’t sweat it, Professor.”

“Kenspeckle is just fine, kid.”

“Okay, first name stage it is then.”

“You are way too formal, Corrupted.”, Ghastly chuckled out.

“I got raised like that. It is supposed to show manners. Sorry.”, M/n replied.

“You can call everyone by the first name. We Mages don’t have a big problem with that.”, Skulduggery informed M/n.

“Okay, noted for next time.”, the Teen replied.

“Good.”

“So are we done ?”, Stephanie asked.

“We are. There is nothing else to find.”, Kenspeckle replied.

Just then M/n spotted something on the skull.

“Kenspeckle ? There is a tear in the skull of victim seven. A small crack, but it is still there, that can’t be from the brain explosion, right ?”, the Teen asked.

The Professor came over and his eyes widened.

“Huh...no it is not from that, indeed. I will take a closer look. It seems like...there was something there. Something small...”

Kenspeckle took the skull and left to inspect it further. M/n turned to Ghastly.

“Ghastly ? Give me the notes you made on number eight. I better write the finishing report about it now. It will be more in order and you will have very little to explain.”, the Teen told the tailor.

Ghastly got out the notes from victim eight, gave it M/n and watched as the boy left and sat down on a small computer. He turned the PC on and soon enough you heard mouse clicking and the keyboard being used.

M/n was very focused and even had his glasses back on his face.

“Why and since when do you need glasses, Bubba ?”, Stephanie asked.

“I only need them for near sight. I am far sighted and when things are near or close to my face, it gets blurry and I can’t read anything. No worries, Sister. I don’t need them all the time.”

“Okay...”

With that M/n continued to type and click away, every now and then he looked at Ghastly’s notes and then continued to type.

Kenspeckle came back 15 minutes later and he seemed concerned. Skulduggery had a face of concern too then.

“What is it, Kenspeckle ?”

“Well, something was hidden in his skull. I suspect a small micro chip. I have no idea what it might have been used for, but it seems it got taken. The Killer must of have taken it.”

“A micro chip ?”, M/n asked in worry.

“Yes, why ?”

“I know ONE small Micro chip kind like that. It can have important information on them, but in that case I think it was used for something else. It can be used as a tracker and spying device. If I am correct, that means the Killer could have known all along about them spying on him/her. But for that, either the Killer themselves must of inserted the chip, or someone must have convinced the victim to take it, as safety precaution and then told the Killer, knowingly. In other words, if my tracking and spying theory is correct...”

“The traitor must be in the Sanctuary.”, Kenspeckle concluded.

M/n nodded.

“We all assume that Serpine killed them, after all he was their last mission to spy on and they went missing in the middle of the operation and ended up here on my table. No one would have let Serpine fumble on them, so I suppose it was one from the Sanctuary. Not many knew about the spies on Nefarian’s ass, so I assume it was only a handful. The handful being: Mr. Bliss, Eachan Meritorius, Morwenna Crow, Sagacious Tome, the Administrator and the Doctor, who did the transplant.”, M/n concluded.

Everyone was staring at him.

“I know, you hate to think it was one of them, but they are the only ones, so far, that definitely knew about them spying on Serpine.”

“Why would the Elders want to help Serpine ? They made him stop in the first place, mostly Meritorius.”, Skulduggery defended.

“And Mr. Bliss helped us.”, Stephanie defended.

“Mr. Bliss knew they went missing and were set on Serpine. He also knew that the Sceptre was real and found. He has motives and he was sus to me, the moment he approached us. He knew a lot and yet didn’t try to get the Elders to wake up. Maybe Meritorius isn’t involved in this at all, but he was very convinced that nothing was wrong. I’ve seen his fear of the possibility of the truce being broken, so I do admit that I also doubt him to be the traitor. Miss Crow was a bit shady, but that was because of the show she put on, nothing else. What discipline does she have ?”

“Necromancy. When she appeared, she shadow walked. It is a type of teleportation, but they can’t do that for a long distance.”, Skulduggery informed.

“Then I doubt it was her either. The traitor and Serpine would have to meet a long distance away from public areas and avoid the spies of catching onto their betrayal. If you see shadows emerge from nowhere you already know it could be Crow, so she is out of the question. The Administrator ?”

“He is barely outside of the Sanctuary. Mostly stays in there and practically lives there, for safety reasons.”, Ghastly answered.

“Okay. Then tell me...what is Tome’s ability ?”

“He is a Teleporter.”

“Any restrictions in that Sorcery ?”

“He can only teleport to places, he has been at before.”, Skulduggery answered.

“Nothing else ? No limit of the distance ? No give away when he appears ? He just comes and goes, like a ghost ?”, M/n pressed.

The Mages were dead silent, Stephanie stared at M/n and was concerned. M/n hummed and pointed gun fingers at the three silent Mages.

“Got cha a possible perpetrator, right there. He can teleport, appear out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly. He has connections to higher places. He gets informed about everything from Crow and Meritorius and he seemed to be a very quiet man too. Easy to forget about, easy to not suspect of treason.”

“And his Motive ?”, Skulduggery asked.

“Maybe Serpine brainwashed him. Maybe he always worked for him. When you talked about Serpine, it sounded like he is capable of anything and everything, if he has to. Who knows, maybe he threatened Tome or something.”

“That is just a speculation.”, Ghastly said softly.

M/n whistled softly and looked at the tailor.

“Look, we can easily find that out. We will leave that Detail out for now, note it down, but I will NOT add it in. You get this stuff to Meritorius tomorrow, Skulduggery, while I will inspect my Uncle later too, if the Corpse is still there, considering that there is a high danger that Serpine destroyed it, to kill evidence. You tell the three of them what YOU have found Skulduggery, no word about me, until Gordon’s case. You make them believe that YOU drew the connections. I will put some small spies on your suit and they will go to the people I want them to spy on. If Tome meets up with Serpine, we will know.”, M/n suggested.

“Small spies ?”, Kenspeckle asked.

M/n smiled and opened his hand, there was a small robot in his hand, and it was active too.

“May I introduce to you, the ultimate little spy. They can be so small, that you can barely see them, they can cling onto you anywhere, even when you are naked. You can’t feel them moving on you. They can record everything with very great volume and video quality and they can instantly notify you when something is happening. Easy to command and easy to program. You slap a picture or a name into their system and they chase the person down. Pictures are easier, but names do it too. There is mostly only ONE person, with the names you people take, so it will be a walk in the park for them.”

They all eyed the small robot and watched as it got smaller and moved around. Then M/n’s phone dinged and as he opened it, there was a notification from his bot that he was live and ready. M/n showed it to them and then another message came, which said ‘Conversation happening’.

M/n opened the message and they saw themselves from the bot’s cameras, faces clear and sharp on the screen of the phone.

“Okay...”, Ghastly said.

The phone played the voice after him too, almost no delay in sending it through too. The audio was spot on and sharp. They all were in awe. M/n smirked.

“They are our key to winning. So what do you say, Skulduggery ? Are you in ?”, M/n asked.

He looked at M/n with a smirk. This will be fun~

“I’m in.”, he replied.

Masterlist HERE !

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[mosslingg]

life lessons with grunkle ford

you can support my work on kofi!

[canisalbus]

Trying to figure out modern Ludovica.

[eriochromatic]

The greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive.

VANDER SILCO ENJOYERS HOW WE DOING TONIGHT 🥳🥳🥳

[1spooky2me]

TRAGEDY⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

There, I killed him….BYE👋👋👋

…

[ashidaii]

STANLEY JUST LACKS AN APPRECIATION FOR “RUGGED” AND “MYSTERIOUS”

[redsray]

my favourite part of the Wayne Kids being, you know, the Waynes, and popular celebrities is the fact that these are teenagers and young adults who are given ... celebrity powers. and i know they're stupidly petty with them. every time you log onto twitter you'd see 3 of them engaged in a sibling argument, completely uncaring that it's being broadcasted to thousands of people

Dick, tweeting: Tim stole my sandwich today, hey siri how do i un-adopt a sibling?

Tim: ??? I didn't steal your sandwich??

Dick: Then who did??? It was there this morning and you were the only one in the manor the entire morning??

Tim: Dick, my unfortunately kind of favourite brother, I was not in the manor today

Dick: YOU WEREN'T?!?!?

Tim: no, I've been in my apartment all week. did you hallucinate me?? LMFAO

Cass: I was there this morning.

Dick: Oh. No wonder then??? You 2 look too similar, one of you needs to cut your hair

Tim: Not it

Cass: . . .

Tim: on second thought, maybe it's time for a haircut

Cass: :D <3

Tim: Love you too, Cass

Random Twitter User, quote tweeting the last tweet: So did you ever find out who took Dick's sandwich????

Cass: Jay did.

Dick: JAY DID?!?!?

Cass: Oh. Did you not know?

Dick: NO?!????

Cass: Oh. @/jason start running. Sorry.

Steph: Guys Jason might deadass die again Dick is ONTO him

Random Twitter User: ... Again?

Steph: hardly the point rn, jared

Babs: Why did Jason just climb in my window asking me to hide him

Tim: he's running from Dick, lol

Babs: Oh, why?

Tim: he ate his sandwich

Babs: Got it, he's hiding behind my couch now, screeching about Cass betraying him.

Dick: BABS DON'T MOVE. DON'T LET HIM LEAVE.

[bamsara]

Sometimes in art streams to take a break I'll draw Narilamb shitten shenangians, which consist of two routes: either they have to make that thang at home or they get it via some magical way idk

I don't have a shitten design and none of this is canon to my AU, it's just for hypothetical shits n giggles

Part two here of more shitten shenanigans

[sreppub]

jason ignored the clearly labeled tupperware and ate tim’s leftover garlic chicken pasta

[ffsg0jo]

ex-boyfriend toji, who's constantly being pestered by megumi about you. you're not his biological mum, but the boy's formed an attachment to you and craves your affection and warmth. you're the closest thing he's ever had to a mother, having been in his life since he was 3, and he loves you like one too. his dad is all hard and muscles and frowny, and you're all soft and sweet and always smiling at him. it's no wonder his dad couldn't keep you, he thinks.

you never raise your voice at him, feed him the best home-cooked meals, and even help him with his homework (he doesn't actually need help, he just likes the way you let him sit on your lap whilst you're on the floor and wrap your arms around him, struggling to figure out what long division is). even after you and his dad break up you never once held it against him (like other exes had) and you never stopped visiting him.

you're hands down the best (ex) girlfriend toji's ever brought home. you actually made an effort to get closer to megumi and get to know him more often. always looking for fun little things to take him to. whether it's a petting zoo, aquarium, or a normal zoo zoo.

you learnt quickly how much he loved animals and never failed to surprise him with a new plushie. one could never have too many plushies, you said to him once, booping his nose and pulling out a cute turtle from behind your back.

(when he finally moved into the dorms in first year, he had about 3 boxes alone, full of stuffed animals. he didn't have it in his heart to pick and choose which ones to take with him, so he brought all of them. you laughed at first when you saw the flood of plushies on his dorm floor when helping him move, but megumi gave you a small smile, repeating your words from almost a decade earlier.)

mini follow-up/context

© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[skulduggery-pleasant-bp9]

Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe

Part 9 – The Vault

As they were outside, Ghastly and Skulduggery had their disguises back on and stared at something. M/n looked around quickly, but in a way, no one noticed, while his Sister started to panic. Then he saw the man and he pointed at him for Stephanie.

The man came to them, like he had all the time in the world. Stephanie came closer to her Brother’s side, who, was very close to Skulduggery. He looked at his Sister and gave her a calming smile. She didn’t return it.

“Mr. Pleasant, Mr. Bespoke..”, greeted the man as he reached them.

“Mr. Bliss”, they greeted back.

Stephanie inspected the man. He radiated out power. His pale blue eyes looked at her and M/n seemed to stiffen up slightly. Then his eyes went to M/n.

“And you two must be the siblings, which all the people are suddenly interested in.”

Stephanie couldn’t make a sound. She didn’t know, what she should have said, but she knew, her voice would have sounded high and thin, if she would have tried to speak. This Mr. Bliss had something on him, that awakened in her the wish, to get very small and cry.

M/n felt her unease and stepped in between her and Bliss, shielding her from him.

“Hey, whatever you are doing, stop it, yeah ? My Sister is at unease and that is not funny. If you use some stupid spell like this China, then stop it.”, M/n growled out slightly.

Mr. Bliss chuckled and looked at him.

“It don’t work on me, Sir.”, M/n deadpanned.

“Interesting...”

“I haven’t seen you in a while. I’ve heard, you have withdrawn from business.”, Skulduggery said, distracting all three of them.

M/n hated Mr. Bliss’ eyes. They seemed as empty as a void. No emotion left in them. He looked at Skulduggery.

“The Elders asked me to come back. We live in a time, full of restlessness.”

“Really ?”, Ghastly asked.

“The two men, that were watching Serpine, were reported missing two days ago. He is up to something, that the Elders aren’t supposed to know of.”

Skulduggery thought about that.

“Why didn’t Meritorius tell me anything ?”

“The truce is a card house, Mr. Pleasant. One little disruption, and everything falls into itself. And you are well known to make disruptions. The Elders hoped, that my interference would be enough of a scare, but I fear, they underestimated Serpine’s determination. They refuse to believe, that someone else could benefit from another war. And of course,, do they still believe, the Sceptre of Ancients, as a Fairytale.”

M/n looked at Bliss in confusion and wonder.

“So, you think the Scepter is real too ?”, he asked.

He looked at M/n.

“Oh, I know that it exists. If it can do all the things, that were told in the Legends, I don’t know, but as an object does the Sceptre very well exist. It was discovered in the youngest past, by archaeological excavations. As much as I know, did Gordon Edgley pay a high amount of cash, to get it into his possession, because it was a part of his researches for a book about the Faceless Ones. I think, he was determined to prove its sincerity, and after he succeeded, did he realize, that he can’t keep it, nor give it away. Gordon Edgley was with all his mistakes a good man, and if he had to assume, that the Sceptre had the destructible abilities, from which we’ve heard of, he surely had the feeling, that no one should own it, because it was too powerful.”

Stephanie found her voice now.

“Do you know, what he did with it ?”, she asked.

“No.”

“But you believe that Serpine is ready, to risk another war ?”, Skulduggery asked.

Mr. Bliss nodded.

“I think, in his eyes the truce did serve its purpose, yes. I can only imagine, that he waited for this moment for a while now, to seize the power, to uncover all secrets and get the Faceless Ones back here.”

“YOU believe in the Faceless Ones ?”, Stephanie asked.

“Oh yes. I grew up with that knowledge and I kept my belief in them since. Some of us just abandon the Stories, which are told about the Faceless Ones, others see them as educating fables and again others see them as bedtime stories for children. But I believe in them. I believe, that we were ruled by other entities once, which were so unbelievably evil, that even their shadows fled from them. And I believe, that they waited very long for their return, so they can punish our infraction.”

Skulduggery crooked his head.

“The Elders would listen to you.”

“You have to play by their rules. I found out, what I could, and gave all my knowledge to the only person, that knows, what to do with it. Everything else is up to you.”, Bliss replied.

“With you on our side, everything would be way easier.”, said Ghastly.

A small smile ran over Bliss’ face.

“When I have to step in, I will.”, he replied.

Without a ‘Good day’ he turned around and left. They stayed rooted there for a while until Stephanie spoke.

“He somehow was scary.”

“That’s what happens, when you barely smile. Mr. Bliss is, purely physically speaking, the strongest man on this planet. His strength tops everything.”

“So he is actually really scary ?”, she asked.

“Oh yes, very.”, Skulduggery confirmed.

They went to their cars.

“What do you think ?”, she asked Ghastly and Skulduggery as they arrived at the cars.

Skulduggery shrugged his shoulders, while Ghastly looked in deep thought.

“A lot of smart things.”, the Skeleton answered.

“Do you also think, the Sceptre is real ?”

“It seems so.”, Skulduggery said.

“If Mr. Bliss said it exists and that it was recently found too, then I do believe him. Bliss wouldn’t lie about that.”, Ghastly replied.

“So we have to get going and take a look at your collectibles now, right ?”, M/n asked.

Ghastly nodded.

“Why ?”, Stephanie asked her Brother.

M/n turned to her.

“Get your phone out and call me. We will drive to wherever Ghastly’s collectibles are and I will explain.”

She nodded and they got in. Then his Sister called him and he accepted, then turned on the speaker.

“Turn on the speaker.”

“Already done.”

“Okay, Skul, you drive first, so I just have to follow. Now listen, Sister. As this Bliss guy said, the Elders deny that there is anything wrong. They are too scared to do anything from assumptions and accusations only. They want evidence. We know now that Uncle G had the Sceptre last and that was most definitely the reason he was murdered. We need proof that it exists, so we need to find it and get our hands on it first, for that we need to find the key, which we still don’t know its location of. Last, but not least, we have to destroy it. We have to make the Sceptre nonexistent, and for that to happen, we need to go to Ghastly’s family’s collectibles, look through everything and try and find answers. There must be something that can tell us how to destroy it.”, M/n explained while they drove on the road.

“Okay...why do I have a feeling you are keeping something from me ?”, she asked suspiciously.

“Because I am thinking. Bliss said that two spies, which were on Serpine’s ass, went missing two days ago, just like that. I think I have to pay a visit to my workplace and ask my Boss about recently found corpses. I want to find out, if they accidently came into our hands. I will also have to re – inspect Uncle G’s body. I want to make sure that he was murdered and if yes, what I have to look for and if I can draw the same murderer to all three corpses, if the spies are there. That counts as evidence too, doesn’t it ? But I will need other people as my Team. I can’t work with my old Team on that. If they see anything suspicious, they will report it and I can’t make up so many lies that I will lose sight of my own truths.”

“But wasn’t Uncle embalmed ? That means everything is out, right ? Blood and everything.”, his Sister asked.

“Sis, I forbid them to do that, for this exact reason. The blood and everything is still there, which also means I will have to work with the stench the body will emit, but I have no other choice and it wouldn’t be my first time dealing with that either. Trust me, I know what I am doing.”

“God, Uncle hopefully won’t haunt you as a ghost.”

M/n sighed heavily.

“Like I said, if he decides to curse me, for disturbing him, so be it. I HAVE to figure this out.”

“Do you really think you have to do that, Corrupted ?”, Skulduggery asked.

“Yes, I do. We need all the evidence we can get, to wake those old people up from slumber land, so let me do, what I can. I didn’t study Autopsy for nothing.”

“Very well then.”, Skulduggery gave in.

Then there was a short moment of silence.

“How many people do you need ?”, Skulduggery asked M/n.

“At least three. Why ?”, M/n asked.

“I have someone in mind...”

“Who ?”

“Kenspeckle Grouse. He is a doctor and very smart. He might be able to help you. I would like to join too.”, Skulduggery answered.

“Maybe I should join too then.”, Ghastly mixed in.

“If you all go there, then I will too.”, Stephanie said.

“Sister, you won’t come along. You are twelve years old, for fucks sake. You don’t want to see cut open bodies and how I take out organs and run tests on everything. God, Mom would KILL me if she finds out that I let you even WATCH a series about such things ! You would get nightmares. Forget it.”

“I want to come along, if you won’t let me, I will tell Mom your actual job !”, Stephanie threatened.

M/n froze at that and glared at the road.

“IF you come along, you WILL listen to me, understand ? You disobey me and I will ground you for a long while. You got that ?”, he said darkly.

“Yep !”, she chirped.

“Good.”

“But how are Skulduggery and Ghastly going to hide their faces ?”, she asked.

“Let that be my worry. I have an idea.”, M/n replied with a smile.

Then he hung up and they continued to drive.

“What have you planned ?”, Ghastly asked.

M/n smiled.

“I never tested them on Mages before, so don’t expect it to work without flaws. Maybe I need to adjust a few things, but...I made something that project illusions over your body. The device is small and has a good battery. It can stay alive for over 12 hours, before you have to charge it again. I am unsure of what to call them yet. Maybe ‘cover up devices’ or something. You’ll love them, if they work.”

“Alright...but they won’t explode, right ?”

“They won’t.”, M/n replied, laughing.

“Then I am willing to try them out.”

“Good. Oh ! And please don’t tell my Sister that I am tinkering on stuff like this. It is bad enough that she knows that I am a Coroner. She doesn’t need to know that I am crafting stuff too...”, M/n muttered.

“Because she will blackmail you ?”

“Yep, one of the many things. The other would be her constantly asking me, to make her something she can gloat about... No thank you. As much as I love her, she can’t always expect ME to do everything.”

“Tough love, eh ?”, Ghastly asked with a chuckle.

M/n chuckled too.

“Very tough love.”, he confirmed jokingly.

“What else can you do ? You studied Autopsy, what else ?”, Ghastly asked.

“You will keep it a secret from everyone ?”, M/n asked back.

“Sure will. Now spill the tea.”

M/n chuckled.

“Officially I had three scholarships. One was Autopsy, the other was Mechanic and the last one was Robotics. I wanted to test myself, I suppose. I did all three of them at once and Uncle Gordon supported me. He was the ONLY one who knew. He arranged everything and all my scholarships were scheduled in one day. After I came home late at evening, I studied all three things at once, let Gordon test me and then I got, if I was lucky, at least two hours of sleep. I never really felt stressed or tired, even though I should have. At weekends I studied hard and slept longer, catching up on my sleep, but still, it should have been terrible, yet, it was entirely relaxing to me.”

Ghastly looked at M/n in awe.

“Wow, respect, Corrupted.”, Ghastly complimented.

M/n chuckled.

“What else did you do ? You said these three were ‘Official’. Was there anything that was unofficial ?”

“I mean, my driving license was. I learned sewing a bit too. I learned first aid and how to help in absolute emergencies, like, someone is bleeding out, I know how to slow it down properly. I studied a bit of medicine, I studied chemicals and liquids. I studied a lot in books, used rarely the Internet, and put my knowledge to tests. All of this, Gordon was aware of. He got me the books, he explained things I didn’t fully understand and he helped in a few things. Heck, he even taught me how to fight, stuffed me into boxing classes and another fighting sport, so I can defend myself. I guess, I learned a little bit of everything at this point. Even how to cook and clean properly.”, M/n explained, shrugging his shoulders.

To him it was no big deal, it never stressed him out. He could be put under immense pressure and he wouldn’t feel stressed. Ghastly though, was in utter shock and concern.

“Don’t you think, your Family made you do too much ?”, the tailor asked.

“Not really. Why ?”

“Well, most kids, like you, enjoy their free time a lot and don’t cope well under pressure and tasks all day.”

“Ghastly, I grew up way faster than other kids. And while it is true, that I rarely had free time, I was always asked if I was okay with everything they wanted me to do. I could have denied any time, but refused to. It’s not like they forced me. I always want to put myself under immense pressure, learn more and more interesting things and I want to find out where my limit is. Until now, I haven’t found it.”

Ghastly looked at M/n in worry, but didn’t want to poke around any further. He knew Gordon Edgley and he knew that he would never have put a child under immense pressure, if the child wouldn’t have asked for it.

Soon enough they arrived and M/n parked his car next to Skulduggery’s. They got out and M/n raised an eyebrow.

“It is hidden in the Museum ?”

“Yes, it is.”, Ghastly replied.

“How clever.”, M/n said dryly.

The two men chuckled, while the siblings were not that amused. Then Ghastly led them inside, with Skulduggery. They paid for it and then Ghastly led them away to a certain door. It was opened by Skulduggery and Ghastly entered first, then M/n and Stephanie.

Ghastly let a flame appear in his hand and together they all went down the stairs. Stephanie started to shiver, which M/n noticed. He put his left hand on her back and rubbed it. She looked at him and smiled a thankful smile.

Soon they entered a hallway, with heavy doors on both sides and they continued to walk, until they reached a door with a shield and a bear on it. Ghastly stood there and searched around in his pockets, after he found, what he was looking for, he fumbled around on the door. Soon it made a soft click and the door opened.

“Come on in.”, Ghastly said.

The three of them entered and Ghastly entered lastly. Skulduggery clicked his fingers and suddenly candles were burning on the walls in the chamber.

“Does all of this have something to do with the Sceptre ?”, Stephanie asked.

M/n looked around with wide eyes of awe. The chamber was filled with high stapled, heavy, thick books, artifacts, statues, paintings and wood carvings. He even spotted an armor of a knight on one of the walls, it was leaning on it.

“It all has something to do with the Ancients.”, Skulduggery told Stephanie.

Ghastly only nodded.

“That’s why there has to be something about the Sceptre too. That the chamber was so full, I didn’t expect though.”, Skulduggery added.

M/n snorted, while Ghastly gave Skulduggery a triumphant smirk.

“I had a very studious Family.”, Ghastly said jokingly.

“Won’t anyone hear us down here ?”, Stephanie asked worried.

“No one will. These Chambers are sealed. The sound seal is one of them. The other one is a very complex lock.”, Ghastly answered her.

“In other words, you could even scream bloody murder and no one would hear us.”, M/n deadpanned to his Sister.

“Oh, I knew that !”, she yelled at her Brother.

“You didn’t. You were confused as fuck, what a sound seal was. Even I could see it. And it’s fine, not many know what that is, I mean-”, he got interrupted.

“Well, sorry that I am not as fucking smart as you, asshole !”, she yelled slightly angry.

M/n looked taken aback at that. Ghastly and Skulduggery looked at them and Ghastly seemed worried. M/n’s shock and hurt only flashed for a second in his eyes, then he seemed cold and unbothered again, yet all three of them saw the short show of emotion. Stephanie covered her mouth in shock and regret.

“M...M/n, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t, right ?”, she asked softly, reaching out to touch his arm.

He jerked it away and took a few steps away from her. He looked at the floor.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”, he muttered and pulled his hood up.

He hid his face under it and then turned away from her.

“It’s not ! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know you just want me to understand things properly. You just wanted to help.”

“I said it’s fine ! Leave me alone !”, he said violently.

She shut up and took a step back from him. She hurt him badly with her insult. She never snapped at him before, she knew how sensitive he was to insults from Family. God, Stephanie wished she could wash her mouth out with soap right now.

“Let’s start looking around. The faster we are done, the faster we can get back to my home, figure out if the corpses are there, inspect them and then I can mind my own business.”, M/n said with a very soured mood.

Ghastly was worried for him. That was a low blow from his Sister and it hit him right in the heart.

M/n was silent the whole time, they have been down there. They discussed a painting and solved a little puzzle box, in which M/n was very interested in, but as soon as he saw his Sister looking, he looked away and ignored them. In the Puzzle box was an echo stone. Skulduggery activated it and there appeared an older man, they asked him questions, while he also talked a lot about other things.

He answered them their questions. Who made the Sceptre, who made the Crystal in it, if the Sceptre can be destroyed, if the crystal can be destroyed and where it may be now. As he said that if Gordon was a wise man, he would have brought it back to where he found it, or placed it to someplace similar to it, in Skulduggery’s head went up a light bulb and he knew where it was.

The Echo stone then lost all powers and the man, called Oisin, disappeared again. Ghastly was in shock. So the Sceptre really existed and Gordon really had it last.

They left the Vault and then the Museum. M/n just jumped into his car, turned on the engine and waited for Ghastly to get his ass inside the car. He was not bothering to talk with his Sister.

“I think you hit a very sensitive spot.”, Ghastly muttered to Stephanie.

She lowered her head.

“I know that I did so. He...Corrupted doesn’t care if someone calls him bad names outside of Family and friend circles, but if it was someone from inside that...if it was used as an actual insult, he gets really hurt. I was just...I HATE that he is so smart and I am so stupid. He has to explain the simplest things to me, yet...he never gets irritated to do so. I just...I was angry with myself that I can’t catch up as fast as he can and understand everything as well as he does. I snapped and accidently let it out on him...”, she muttered.

“He will be silent with you for a while, if I remember what Gordon told me about him.”, Skulduggery said softly.

“He will be. I might be ignored for a few days...”, she admitted in guilt.

“We’ll see about that. Maybe I can get him to listen to me and then we will see. He likes talking to me.”, Ghastly said with a small smile.

She looked at the tailor.

“You can try your best...”, she muttered and then got into the Bentley.

“See you at Gordon’s.”, Ghastly told Skulduggery.

The Skeleton nodded and then jumped into his car. Ghastly got into M/n’s Firebird and softly closed the door, then put on the seatbelt.

“Are you okay, Corrupted ?”, Ghastly asked calmly, as M/n started to drive.

“Just dandy.”, he said with a sour mood.

“Be honest with me, please.”

“She didn’t mean to. It happens, I also snap like that sometimes. I just need time to sort my emotions out. I’m fine, Ghastly.”, M/n insisted.

“Are they a rollercoaster right now ?”

“They are. I am sad, hurt, angry, and all I want to do, is hide away, right now. I need a bit time and then I am back to normal, no worries.”

Ghastly looked at him with concern and then looked at the radio.

“May I turn on the radio ?”, he asked.

“You won’t like the music. I have a disc inside with my own music. I don’t like the news, nor the music from there. They interrupt it always way before it is done playing.”, M/n answered.

“I think I won’t hate it.”, Ghastly assured.

“Do what you want, I don’t mind.”, M/n said, shrugging his shoulders.

Ghastly turned on the radio and almost instantly did a song play, Ghastly wasn’t familiar with. M/n knew it though.

“NCS and the song is called Ricochet.”, he said.

“NCS ?”

“No Copyrighted Sounds. They make Music that are not copyrighted, helps YouTube content creators to use it as background music or even memes, without getting in trouble.”, M/n shortly explained.

“Huh. But it ain’t bad. I thought you were into heavy Metal.”

“Hah, those times are over. I was into that as I was nine to eleven years of age.”, M/n said with a small smile. Ghastly smiled. At least M/n wasn’t all too soured anymore.

[paintedcrows]

Revelations - Little peek at a longer continuation to my Stan & Bill accidental internet buddies comic!

After the reveal, Stan initially doesn't want to tell Ford his (former) internet best friend was Bill Cipher, because he doesn't want him to worry. Stan later doesn't want to tell Ford because he (and Bill) would rather die.

[nothing-impt]

I love how the Epic community all unanimously agreed that Athena and Dionysus don't understand how humans are born

(Telemachus just fell down a flight of steps)

[everwalldigan]

Pre utrh Jason opening up a little bookshop as a side hustle to his Crime Lord business (only to do evil of course, like making little book stands to promote his favourite books) and one day Bruce walks by, sees all of Jason’s favourite books on display in the window and decides to walk in (because he’s a masochistic fuck like that.)

Jason, without looking up: judging by you just standing there, I assume you don’t know your way around. Be right with y—

Bruce, sharply scanning Jason’s rapidly paling face while trying to look casual: oh no don’t worry! Take your time! What’s your name?

Jason, panicking: Tason Jodd

Bruce: that’s so funny, that sounds exactly like Jason Todd…

Jason: no it doesn’t

Bruce: It’s literally Jason Todd with the first letters swapped

Jason, sweating: no it’s not.

Bruce:

Jason:

Bruce, grabbing Jason’s arm: you’re coming with me