#Not . even try to understand that complexity

[chilewithcarnage]

Idk what these other mfers are on about but I'm talking to you @siwolism miss thing right now. The rest of y'all be quiet. You spearheaded a conversation posting misinformation about Black American soldiers and tried to make a ham fisted correlation on how 'every American regardless of race is deeply evil' and are agents of imperialism. Black Americans already know our positions being Americans and living within the imperial core especially when it comes to the military industrial complex. Youre taking the comments of some random niggas on tiktok about fried chicken as fact (it's not) and using that as 'proof' on how Black Americans (also how tf is this harassment) are on par with whites when it comes to privilege granted by imperialism. The privilege we might, and that's a big MIGHT considering that less than 300 years ago we weren't even considered human in this country is present but marginally small and that is not something that you or any one in this reblog chain needs to try & 'teach' us about. And it is especially hypocritical coming from , you, a South Korean. You are still part of the first world as well! South Korea is not a third world country! You're perfectly okay with painting broad strokes over black and brown americans, so you should be fine with me regarding you as an agent of imperialism as well? You're talking about the global South in reference to Korea, do you think I'm stupid or something? Will you also acknowledge that Korea is taking part in the modern colonisation of Africa and that there are many Korean tech companies that are benefiting from the genocide in Congo? Do you wanna talk about the fact when Korean women did have babies with those Black GIs they would dump them in orphanages or abandon them outside to die? Do you wanna talk about the large amount of Korean men that are engaging in the sex trafficking of east/west African, South Asian and Pacific Islander girls and women? Do you wanna talk about that? Do you wanna acknowledge the antiblackness and colorism that has existed in your country long before the Korean war? Do you wanna talk about the fact the Republic of Korea army also fought in the Iraq war & the war in Afghanistan? Do you wanna talk about how the billion dollar Kpop industry culturally appropriates and steals Black music and aesthetics and almost never credits and properly compensates the Black American producers that make a lot of y'alls tracks? Do you wanna talk about the way African immigrants & half black people are treated in your country? Do you understand how wildly antiblack it is to refer to me as an Amerikkkan, a term created by Black Americans that you're not even fucking using correctly, a term thats a reference to a white supremacist terrorist organization created specifically to target, trap, torture and kill Black Americans? Why you would even think it appropriate to use this term at all is lost on me but I've seen that you and everyone in this reblog chain is stupider than a box of square hammers.

just going to establish something because the poc americans are on their soap box about me again. the post that they are all referring to where i apparently admit to hating black people or whatever was where i basically laid out the following: i, a korean, born and living in korea, found it weird that whenever there was a video of korean fried chicken on social media african americans would flood the comments talking about how they brought fried chicken to korea. and if that’s where they finished the sentence i wouldn’t care, obviously ignorant but whatever, maybe i would have sent a few “and how and when do you think you guys brought fried chicken here?” comments and hoped the lightbulb would go off. but i didn’t need to do that because these people would always finish the sentence with “during the war.” having forgotten more about the horrors of the korean war then 99% of americans will ever learn i found this repeat, common behaviour, disgusting. to be proud of anything that resulted from the american participation in and ongoing occupation of korea is something so horrifying to me that especially when i was younger i could hardly conceive of it. now im older and i understand that americans as a collective, no matter their race, are a deeply evil population. nonetheless, i know americans like to call the war that resulted in the deaths of millions of koreans “the forgotten war” so i had some hope in my heart that maybe i could explain why i, and many other koreans, found this to be weird behaviour and maybe people would listen and learn and stop. but noooo to this day people are still harassing me over a 200 note post because the average american of colour can’t conceive of having any sort of privilege over the people of the global south and over america’s many neo colonies because no matter how many points are stacked against them in the great usa they will always privilege simply by being american compared to the rest of the world. and americans no matter their struggles within the us almost always wish to maintain the usa’s position as the head of empire. they can’t even begin to think of life without the privileges that being american has always afforded to them, so instead they work at appeasement and try and fucking “diversify” and pinkwash ect. everything. they call any person of colour from outside america criticising americans of colour for being horrible fucking comrades racist because they can rely on all the pseudo progressive white americans who want to “uplift voices” but don’t have a international bone in their body to continue harassing random global southerners and people from the “east” in general until they are chased off the platform or terminated.

but your bombs were not more progressive because native americans planted them. your rape was not more progressive because asian americans did it. your use of biological warfare was not more progressive just because there were 600,000 african americans in stationed in korea. no matter how diverse and accepting you make your military it should be destroyed with a level of violence only fitting for the violence it has enacted upon almost every single country in existence. i will only know peace when i know every current and former us servicemen is rotting. goodnight and death to amerikkka. now and forever.

[paradiseprincesss]

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 𝟑𝟒 + 𝟑𝟓 | Jonathan Crane

ℭ𝔞𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔶 𝔲𝔭 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱?

𝑁𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 — If you understand the subtle homage to the music video for 34+35 I love you.

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 — When you’re summoned to help Jonathan in the middle of the night with your shared experiment, you expect to assist with complex math and scientific breakthroughs — but instead, you test an entirely different kind of chemistry and set of numbers...

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 — 2.8k

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 -> 18+ ONLY Smut, p in v, oral (f & m receiving), 69, riding, unprotected sex, creampie

𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

With a lazy sigh, you put your car in park outside the isolated lab building and check your makeup in the rearview mirror one last time before leaving your vehicle. Annoyance bubbled up inside your chest as you clung onto your white lab coat tightly and you fumbled around with your keys, shoving them into your purse. Your heels, also white to match your pristine lab coat, clicked against the pavement as you made your way inside. 

It was nearly two in the morning, and yet, here you were – walking through the walls of the now eerily quiet lab in which you and Jonathan Crane so often worked together at. The two of you were working on a new compound version of his infamous fear toxin, and with both of your talents in science combined, this version of the toxin was nearly ten times as potent and long-lasting.

Although he’d never admit it, he thought you were insanely smart – so smart that he swore you could give him a run for his money. You were gifted when it came to the sciences, hence why you chose to be a scientist for a living. 

Sure, maybe a corrupt scientist, but still a scientist nonetheless. 

Tonight, you had been out with a few colleagues for Friday night drinks, but a few hours into your celebration, Jonathan had called you nonstop and at some point, you got annoyed by the constant ringing and picked up. He had explained to you that something wasn’t going right in your shared experiment and wanted your help in the lab as he couldn’t quite figure out what was missing. 

Despite it being ridiculously late, you agreed. A part of you wanted to stay and enjoy your night out, but ultimately, nothing was more important than this vital experiment – you and Jonathan had been working on it for months, after all.

As you stepped into the lab, the sharp click of your heels echoed off the sterile walls. Jonathan barely spared you a glance at first as he was much too focused on a pink liquid in a beaker in front of him. As he set the chemical down and looked at you – really looked at you – he froze. 

The pristine lab coat hung loosely around your shoulders and covered you for the most part, but that dress you had on underneath was painfully short. Not to mention those very high heels you had on that had no business being in a laboratory but somehow looked like they belonged. You adjusted your coat with the tiniest flick of your wrist, giving a peek of the tight, lowcut mini dress hidden underneath, which caused Jonathan to almost choke on his breath.

“You’re late,” he mumbled as he clenched his jaw. “And why are you dressed like that?” 

You sauntered towards him as if you had all the time in the world. With a teasing smile, you looked up at him as you watched him try not to look at you. 

“You called me at two in the morning while I was out at a bar,” you explained, gesturing to your heels and dress. “I had my lab coat in the backseat of my car so I figured wasting time by going home and changing wouldn’t do either of us any good. Be glad I even showed up at all.” 

Jonathan scoffed at your words, going back to working on his chemical concoction. The two of you exchanged a few words but mostly just worked on configuring the toxin after he had caught you up on what it was he needed help with. After about an hour, you heard him sigh with annoyance, which caused you to pause what you were doing.

You made your way over, leaning on the desk beside him as you observed what he was writing down. He paused as you stood beside him, giving you a glare with those icy blue eyes of his. 

“Do you need something?” He asked dryly as he looked back at the chemicals in front of him and scribbled notes. 

You tilted your head with a faint smile, taking your perfectly manicured nails as you traced absent patterns on the cold, metal counter. “Just curious,” you said softly. “You seemed so…urgent when you called me at 2 A.M. Thought maybe you were saving the world or something.” 

He paused as his pen hovered over the paper. He looked at you slowly, and for a split second, his gaze lingered on your figure, taking in your dishevelled yet effortlessly sexy appearance. “I needed an extra pair of hands,” he said curtly, his tone clipped. 

You smirked as you leaned in a little closer. Your gaze flickered between his notes and his face. “Right. Hands. Sure.” 

He stiffened as he glared at you from the corner of his eye. “If you’re just going to stand there, don’t distract me.” 

“Distract you?” You asked innocently. “I’m not doing anything. You’re the one who called me, remember?” 

Suddenly, Jonathan exhaled sharply as he put his pen down and turned to face you fully. His voice was low and strained as if he was barely holding it together. “I called asking you for help, not…this.”

You raised a brow as you feigned innocence once more. “This?”

He gestured vaguely as his jaw tightened. “You. Showing up like…that.” 

Your grin widened as you stepped closer to him, closing the space between you and him. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you tonight. Maybe it was just your inhibitions slowly fading into the background as the clock hit 3 A.M., or…

“I came straight from the bar,” you said matter-of-factly. “Thought you’d appreciate the effort.” 

He stared at you as he leaned back slightly like he was trying to put space between you and him. “Effort is not the word I’d use.”

You shrugged and rested your hand on the steel counter beside his. Your hand brushed up against his knuckles, and yet, he didn’t pull away. You watched as he stared at the contact before he slowly looked up at you again to meet your gaze. 

“You’re complicated,” you murmured, suddenly unable to stop yourself from saying what came next. “But I guess I kind of like that about you.” 

Your heart skipped as soon as the words left your mouth, and you immediately regretted it. You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment as you realized what you had just said. As you turned around to walk away in humiliation, he grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you into him.

Then he kissed you – no words, just a kiss that erased everything else as it silenced your thoughts. His lips were soft, but the way he was kissing you was anything but that. You gasped quietly as he nipped your bottom lip gently, pulling it between his teeth as you leaned forward, desperate for something more. Anything more. 

His hands found your waist, and he squeezed gently as the two of you continued to feverishly kiss each other under the fluorescent lights of the lab. Slowly, he moved his hands to your lab coat and he slipped the thin fabric off of you, which you welcomed. As soon as your lab coat was out of the way, he picked you up – never breaking the kiss – and placed you on the cold, sterile lab counter, causing you to let out a small, startled noise. 

You broke the kiss just enough to let out a breathy giggle as he smiled faintly at you as his piercing blue eyes looked into your own, and you swore this was the first time you’d ever seen Jonathan smile. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said in almost a whisper, and you felt your cheeks heat up from the unexpected compliment. His tone was soft and genuine. “You make it hard to focus generally, but tonight,” he sighed as he admired you before continuing, “it was extraordinarily difficult not to get distracted around you. You’re a vision – like…art.” 

“Jonathan.” You bit your lip softly, and you could feel your composure starting to shatter as he broke down your walls. You were surprised he was so sentimental given his…personality. “I need you — I want you.”

“Yeah?” He asked softly as his eyes travelled all over your body. “You have me, darling. I’m all yours.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at him – the other side of Jonathan Crane – and you pulled him close by his shoulders as his grip on your waist never wavered. He looked at you with an expression you couldn’t exactly place, but it was comforting nonetheless.

“Can I take this off?” He asked quietly as one of his hands came to rub circles on your thigh and the other brushed past the edge of your mini dress. 

You nodded, “Yes.” 

As he slipped you out of your dress, leaving you in nothing but your lacy undergarments, you noticed the tent in his pants, and you bit your lip as you fought the urge to pounce on him right then and there. In that very moment, there was nothing you wanted more than him – and he knew that. The both of you were so worked up that it didn’t take long for either of you to shed your clothing, and before you knew it, you were straddling him on the shabby, worn-out couch in the breakroom of the lab. 

You moaned into his mouth as he squeezed your ass tightly, and in return, you started to grind yourself on his erection. The only thing that stood between the two of you right now were your panties and his boxers, and you were more than desperate to take them off. 

You broke the kiss for just a moment and Jonathan ran his thumb against your bottom lip. “I want to try something,” you whispered. “Lay back.” 

“Lay back?” He asked curiously, and you nodded. 

Jonathan smiled faintly as he laid back onto the large but worn-out couch, and you placed yourself between his legs. With a teasing glint in your eyes, you bit your lip and kept your gaze locked on his as you freed his erection. You smiled playfully as you then got up off of him, to which he gave you a confused look. You took your panties off and straddled his chest, but faced the opposite way.

“What are you…oh.” Jonathan’s smooth voice only turned you on even more as he realized what you were trying to do. “Fuck, let me taste you.”

With butterflies in your stomach, you sunk your drooling cunt down onto his mouth and immediately, his hands came to grip your thighs. He delved his tongue into your folds and you whimpered, feeling him lap up your wetness as you rode his face. He flicked his tongue deep into your hole and gripped your thighs even harder, causing you to feel hazy at the sheer pleasure just his mouth alone could bring you. 

You leaned forward as you stroked his cock, and he continued to eat you out skillfully. Carefully, you took his cock into your mouth as he groaned into your cunt once more, sending shockwaves through your body. You moaned around his length as you gagged on it, trying to push him past your throat barrier. With your lips wrapped around his cock and his tongue deep in your gushing hole, Jonathan thought he was in heaven, and judging by the sounds you were making, so did you. 

You continued to hallow your cheeks as you tried to take him entirely in your mouth, and he swivelled his tongue through your folds, tongue darting in and out of your sopping wet cunt. You swirled your tongue over the slit of his cock, and he returned the favour by gently sucking your clit. Both of you were making choked sounds, and soon enough, you were feeling that familiar knot in your stomach start to tighten.

Jonathan suddenly took one of his fingers and teased your slit with it, before inserting it into you as he continued to lap you up. You took him out of your mouth with a pop, and you mewled as he continued to pump a single digit in and out of your sticky hole. 

“I’m close, Jon,” you warned. “I wanna feel you inside of me when I come…” 

He grumbled as you lifted yourself off of his mouth, but within seconds, you were now facing him and straddling him as you sank down on his thick cock. His hands immediately found purchase on your hips and you rested yours on his chest as the both of you let out strangled moans. You could feel him fill you up completely, stretching your tight hole out inch by inch, and you started to bounce up and down on his length slowly. 

“Thaaaat’s it,” he praised softly. “Good fuckin’ girl, baby.”

“Fuck, Jonathan…” You whimpered as you picked up the pace, bouncing on him faster and faster.

He watched you in awe as your tits bounced with every movement of your body, and he gently guided your hips with his hands. You could feel his cock brushing up against that spongy spot inside of you, causing you to let out stuttered curses and moans. You started to squirm slightly as you felt yourself getting close again, and you made sure to let him know.

“God, I’m close,” you panted. 

“Me too,” he said breathlessly. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

You continued to pick up the pace as you chased your own high, moving up and down in a desperate attempt to feel him in the deepest parts of you. He watched as his cock disappeared in you over and over again, and grunted as he felt your walls clench around his length. 

“So wet, darling. Fuck, you’re so wet.” You’d never heard a tone so whiney come from Jonathan before, and in all honesty, the way he was talking had your head going blank. There was something so hot about him almost begging you without outright saying it. 

You tried to tell him you were coming, but your brain short-circuited as your release rippled through your body. He gripped onto your waist as he held you against him in one swift movement, this time taking control as he began to roughly buck his hips up into you. You were a shaking mess, screaming his name as he slammed his cock into your stretched-out hole over and over again until he felt himself about to come with you.

“Gonna fill you,” he gruffed. “Stuff this tight fuckin’ cunt with my come—”

“Yes! Fuck, please—” You wailed, unable to hold back the words as he talked dirty to you.

“Yeah, you love it,” he growled, slamming his cock as deep as he possibly could into you. “Just stay there and take it, darling.”

You did as told and stayed slumped against him as he held you close. After a few more harsh, deep thrusts, he emptied himself inside of you, filling you with every last drop of his come. He stayed buried inside of you as the both of you tried to catch your breaths, and you rested your forehead against his. 

Your heart was racing still, even in the aftermath. “Well,” you murmured, lips ghosting over his. “That was one way to test chemistry.” 

A low chuckle escaped him as he pressed a kiss to your lips tenderly. “Not the breakthrough I had in mind,” he said, his voice much softer now.

You smirked, letting your fingers trace along his jaw idly. “Maybe not, but I’d call it conclusive.”

“Conclusive?” He asked, his tone turning more teasing as one of his hands traced lightly against your hips. “I very much doubt one trial is enough to prove a hypothesis.” 

Your smile widened. “Oh? So you’re saying we need to run the test again?”

“For accuracy,” he replied with mock seriousness. 

You laughed, leaning into him, but before you could respond, his expression shifted – still teasing but with a sincerity that caught you off guard. “Although… if we’re testing chemistry,” he said, his thumb brushing your cheek gently, “I’d like to see how it works outside the lab. Maybe dinner? A real date.”

For a moment, you stared at him, caught between disbelief and a flutter of something you couldn’t quite name. Jonathan Crane, the stoic and guarded man you’d worked alongside for so long, was suddenly showing a side of himself you hadn’t expected. Sentimental, even.

Your voice was soft when you finally answered. “A real date, huh?”

He nodded, his gaze steady on yours. “For… accuracy,” he repeated, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. Your heart did a little flip as you tried to suppress the grin spreading across your face. 

“Well,” you said lightly, “who am I to argue with science?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[aspenmissing]

ᴀʀᴄᴀɴᴇ: ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ?

ᴊᴀʏᴄᴇ | ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ | ᴊᴀʏᴠɪᴋ | ᴠᴀɴᴅᴇʀ | ꜱɪʟᴄ�� | ᴊɪɴx || ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ/ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ-ɪꜱʜ

6159 ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ || ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴛᴀʟᴋꜱ ᴏꜰ ɪɴꜰᴇʀᴛɪʟɪᴛʏ (ᴊᴀʏᴠɪᴋ'ꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛ)

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴅᴇᴀ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ, ᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ ᴜᴘ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴏᴛʜ ꜱɪᴅᴇꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛ?

ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴊᴀʏᴄᴇ | ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ | ᴠᴀɴᴅᴇʀ | ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ | ᴘᴏᴡᴅᴇʀ/ᴊɪɴx

JAYCE

You and Jayce stood outside the bright, cheerful building of the preschool, staring up at the colorful sign that read "Bright Beginnings Academy." Jayce's hands rested casually on his hips, the usual confident smile on his face as he looked down at you. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you couldn’t help but feel a little excited as well.

"I still can't believe they asked us to do this," Jayce said, adjusting his jacket. "It's not every day we get invited to talk to a group of young minds about science and technology."

You laughed lightly. "I think it's a great opportunity to inspire them. If even one of these kids decides to pursue something in science because of what we say, that would be amazing."

Jayce nodded, beaming. "Exactly! And I’ll make sure to give them a talk they'll never forget. You know, I can be pretty persuasive."

You raised an eyebrow. "Just... remember, not every five-year-old is going to understand particle acceleration. Keep it simple for them, okay?"

Jayce waved a hand dismissively. "Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I'll make it sound fun."

You both entered the preschool and were greeted by the head teacher, Ms. Graves, who led you to the first classroom. The kids were sitting at small tables, eyes wide with curiosity, some fidgeting with toys and others whispering to each other.

"Everyone, this is Jayce and Y/N," Ms. Graves announced cheerfully. "They’ve come to tell us all about their exciting work!"

Jayce stepped forward, his tall frame making him stand out among the tiny chairs. He cleared his throat, a grin spreading across his face. "Hey there, little scientists! I’m Jayce, and I build incredible machines that can help solve problems! I work with energy and technology to create inventions that can change the world. I bet some of you have seen big machines like robots, right?" He smiled, trying to gauge their understanding.

A few hands shot up eagerly. "I saw a robot on TV!" one of the kids exclaimed.

"That's right! And those robots use technology I help create!" Jayce said, puffing out his chest slightly.

The kids seemed intrigued, but the more Jayce spoke, the more confused their faces became as he dove deeper into the technical aspects of his work. He mentioned “energy fields” and “complex algorithms,” which only seemed to go over their heads.

You smiled softly to yourself, watching him confidently speak. It was clear he was passionate about his work, but you could see where things might be getting a bit... complicated for the children. You moved toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a knowing look.

"Maybe we should take a step back and make it a bit more fun for them," you suggested gently, giving him a playful nudge.

Jayce blinked, realizing his overcomplicated explanation. "Ah, right. I got carried away."

You took a step forward, crouching down to the kids' level. "Hey there, everyone!" you said warmly. "I’m Y/N, and I love science too! Jayce builds things that help people, but sometimes, instead of using big words, we can show you how things work with fun activities!"

You looked to the teacher, who smiled and nodded in agreement. "Let’s make a simple machine today. We can build something cool together!"

The kids cheered, their excitement palpable. You led them to the activity table where materials like cardboard, straws, rubber bands, and small gears were set out. You guided them through creating simple contraptions—a basic pulley system, a little lever, and even a tiny rolling machine.

Jayce watched you in awe, his arms crossed over his chest as he observed how effortlessly you connected with the kids. You patiently helped each child, showing them how to build and encouraging their creativity. Some kids had trouble with the mechanics, and you were there with a smile, explaining everything in the simplest ways.

The more you interacted with the kids, the more they clung to you. One child tugged at your sleeve, asking to show you their creation. Another crawled into your lap, looking up at you with wide, adoring eyes. You laughed, gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face.

"Look, Jayce," you whispered, nodding to the group gathered around you. "They really love you too, but I think they might love me just a bit more right now."

Jayce chuckled, a bit of a pout on his lips. "I’m supposed to be the cool inventor, but I guess you’ve got the magic touch."

You leaned in, teasing. "What can I say? I’m a natural with kids. They like when things are fun and hands-on."

Jayce's gaze softened as he watched you, a proud smile spreading across his face. "You’re amazing," he said, more to himself than to you. "You make it look so easy."

The children continued to surround you, proudly showing off their creations. One little girl climbed onto your lap, a big smile on her face as she presented her simple yet clever machine.

"Look, I made a lever that helps me open my toy box!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

You beamed, helping her adjust the lever. "That's fantastic! You’ve just made something that could help you every day. I think you’re a real inventor in the making."

The classroom was alive with chatter, and Jayce had long since stepped back to give you the spotlight. He couldn’t help but admire how you connected with the kids, how naturally you made learning fun for them. He realized, with a soft chuckle, that maybe you were the true teacher here today.

As the activity came to a close, the kids surrounded you, each one wanting to show you their project or give you a high-five. Jayce joined in, still amazed by how well you were able to inspire the next generation.

"You know," he said, as you walked hand-in-hand with him out of the classroom, a playful glint in his eye, "maybe next time, we should let you do the talking."

You smiled, squeezing his hand. "Maybe we should. But you were still awesome, Jayce. I just think you need to simplify your genius a little."

Jayce laughed softly, his heart warmed by how easily you embraced everything that came with working with children. "I think I could learn a thing or two from you. You’re a natural."

You grinned. "I just know how to make science fun."

VIKTOR

The room was dimly lit, a soft glow from the warm fire casting flickering shadows on the walls. You sat beside Viktor in his workshop, the steady hum of machinery and the quiet crackle of the fire filling the space. You’d been talking for hours, about everything and nothing, when the conversation shifted to something you’d always carried in your heart.

"I’ve always wanted to have children," you said softly, tracing the rim of your teacup absentmindedly. "Even when I was young, I used to imagine what it would be like to be a mother, to have a little one running around, learning new things, growing up. It just always felt right to me."

Viktor’s expression faltered for a moment, his brow furrowing as he lowered his gaze. The silence stretched between you, and you could feel the weight of his thoughts, the subtle tension in the air. It wasn’t like Viktor to be so quiet, and it made your heart tighten with concern.

"You... want children?" Viktor’s voice was softer than usual, almost as if he was testing the words, as if they were foreign to him.

You nodded, turning toward him with a small smile. "I’ve always dreamed of it, yes. I think it’s one of the most fulfilling things someone can experience."

Viktor shifted slightly in his seat, a look of deep thought on his face. "I..." He hesitated, his fingers tapping lightly on the arm of his chair as if searching for the right words. "I don’t think that’s something I can give you."

You blinked, a frown forming at the edges of your lips. "What do you mean?"

Viktor’s eyes met yours, and there was a heaviness in them, a burden he had carried for so long, one you knew he didn’t speak of often. "I have my illness," he said quietly, his voice tight. "And my... condition. I don’t want to pass on any of what I have to a child."

You felt a pang in your chest, the deep sadness in his words cutting through you. He was already thinking about his own deformity, his illness—how it affected his body, his life. Viktor never talked about it openly, always focusing on his work, but you knew that it was always there, lingering in his mind. He feared it, feared what it would mean for the future.

"But Viktor," you whispered, reaching out to take his hand, "you are more than your illness. You are strong, brilliant, and beautiful in so many ways. If we were to have children... they wouldn’t just inherit the things that make you feel broken. They’d inherit everything that makes you who you are."

Viktor’s eyes flickered to your hand, his gaze softening for a brief moment, but the weight of his thoughts remained. "I can’t bear the thought of passing on my suffering to anyone, especially a child. I wouldn’t want them to go through the things I’ve been through... the pain, the limitations." His voice broke slightly, though he tried to steady it. "I wouldn’t want them to have to carry the burden of what I’ve become."

Your heart ached for him, knowing how deeply he cared about you and how much it hurt him to feel that he could not offer you the life you had dreamed of. You gently squeezed his hand, offering him a tender smile, one filled with understanding and love.

"I understand, Viktor," you said softly. "I understand more than you know. I’m not asking for something you can’t give right now, and I wouldn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. I respect your decision, and I support you completely. If it’s not the right time for you, then I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as you need me to."

Viktor’s eyes searched yours, his lips trembling slightly, a mixture of gratitude and sorrow reflected in them. "You... you would wait for me?"

"Of course," you replied without hesitation. "I love you, Viktor. And whether we have children or not, my love for you won’t change. We’ll have the future that’s right for us, together."

A long silence fell between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a peaceful kind of silence, the kind that spoke volumes without the need for words. Viktor’s grip on your hand tightened, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles as if he needed that touch to steady himself, to remind himself that you were there, beside him.

"You’ve always been so patient with me," he murmured, his voice filled with a tenderness you rarely heard. "I don’t deserve your patience."

You shook your head, a small, affectionate smile playing at your lips. "You don’t have to deserve it, Viktor. It’s not about that. It’s about us, about being together, and supporting each other. We’ll figure this out, one step at a time. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here."

Viktor’s gaze softened, his eyes reflecting the gratitude he struggled to express. He leaned in slowly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, a silent promise passing between you. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. "For everything."

And in that moment, you knew, without a doubt, that whatever the future held, you and Viktor would face it together—patiently, lovingly, and with the same unwavering commitment that had always defined your relationship.

JAYVIK

The soft crackle of the fireplace filled the room, the warm glow casting gentle shadows on the walls of the living room. You, Viktor, and Jayce had just finished a long day of work, and now, you were all unwinding in your cozy space. You and Viktor were seated on the couch, a few scattered papers and empty mugs left on the coffee table, while Jayce leaned back in his armchair, kicking his boots up with a sigh of relief.

For a while, there was nothing but the steady rhythm of breathing and the occasional rustling of papers as Viktor worked on a few ideas for his next project. Jayce, on the other hand, seemed content to simply unwind, the silence comfortable in a way only the three of you could share.

It was a casual evening—no talk of politics, no discussions of breakthroughs or setbacks. But then, as Jayce stretched his arms above his head, breaking the silence, he casually dropped a thought that had been on his mind for a while.

"You know," Jayce said, half to himself, "I was just thinking about how we could have a little one running around here one day. Maybe it would be nice to have someone to pass all of this on to, someone who would grow up with us."

Viktor’s brow furrowed, his fingers tapping absently on the edge of his chair. He didn’t immediately respond, though his gaze drifted to you as if testing the waters.

"You’re right," Viktor added quietly after a moment, his tone soft but pensive. "Maybe one day, we should. We’ve spent so much of our lives focused on work, but I suppose we should think about a future beyond just our creations."

You looked up at the two of them, surprised to hear this so directly. They’d mentioned the idea in passing before, but now it felt more tangible, more real. Still, you said nothing at first, unsure of how to react. Jayce, always eager to entertain new possibilities, kept talking.

"I wonder what it would be like," he mused. "What kind of parents we'd be. It’s crazy to think about it, but I think I’d want to give it a shot. But you know, it’s a lot of work, a lot of responsibility." He laughed softly. "Not sure if we’d be the perfect role models, huh?"

You gave him a half-smile, trying to keep the conversation light. But inside, a knot of tension began to form in your stomach. You could hear the underlying question in their words—the curiosity, the openness, and perhaps even a bit of uncertainty. They wanted your opinion, wanted to know if this was something you were considering, too.

But as you sat there in the living room with them, you knew this conversation had to come to a head. The secret you had been keeping from them—the truth you hadn’t been able to share yet—was slowly eating at you.

Taking a deep breath, you set your mug down on the table with a soft clink, your hands shaking slightly as you prepared to speak.

"I—" you started, your voice trembling a bit. "I need to tell you something."

Jayce and Viktor both turned their attention to you, sensing the change in the air. They sat up a little, waiting for you to continue.

"I’ve never told you this before," you began, trying to steady your breathing. "But... I can’t have children."

The words hung in the air between you like a weight, a truth you’d kept locked away for so long. You could feel the sting of shame welling up in your chest as you tried to continue.

"It’s... it’s because of infertility," you murmured, your eyes cast downward, unable to meet their gazes. "And I’ve never told either of you. I guess... I didn’t want to disappoint you. Or make you feel like... like I wasn’t enough. I’ve been so afraid that if you knew, you’d..."

You trailed off, the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. You hadn’t meant for this to happen. You hadn’t meant to break down like this, but the truth was heavy, and the shame was worse than you’d imagined.

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence. The weight of your confession hung over you, suffocating. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them, too afraid of how they might react. You had kept this secret for so long, hoping it would never come up, but now the truth was out there.

Then, to your surprise, you felt Viktor’s hand on your shoulder, gentle but firm, as if to reassure you that he was there. His voice, when it came, was softer than you had ever heard it.

"Y/N," he said quietly, his tone filled with understanding. "You don’t need to feel ashamed. We’re not angry with you, not at all."

Jayce, too, leaned forward, his gaze filled with concern but also affection. "We’re a team, Y/N," he said, his voice earnest. "There’s nothing you could say that would change that. We love you, and that doesn’t change because of something like this."

You finally lifted your gaze to them, tears threatening at the corners of your eyes. "But I—" you began, but Viktor shook his head gently.

"Listen to us," he said softly. "This doesn’t change anything. We’re still the same. And if you want children, we’ll find a way. Together."

Jayce nodded in agreement. "There are options, you know. Adoption. Surrogacy? We’ll figure it out, Y/N. No matter what."

Your heart swelled at their words, the weight in your chest beginning to lift, even if just a little. You weren’t alone in this. They understood, they cared, and they weren’t angry.

"I don’t deserve you both," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

Viktor leaned closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his eyes warm with sincerity. "You deserve all of us, Y/N. We’re in this together. There’s no need for shame. We’ll take each step together, and when the time is right, we’ll decide what’s next."

Jayce reached over, placing a reassuring hand on your knee, his expression softened with a rare, tender understanding. "We’re here for you, always. And we’ll figure this out, whatever path we need to take."

The comfort in their words, the warmth in their touch, soothed you more than you could have expected. Maybe the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but you knew you wouldn’t walk it alone.

Together, the three of you would find a way forward.

VANDER

It was a quiet evening at the Vander household. The children had long since been put to bed, and the house was filled with the soft sounds of the night—crickets chirping in the distance, the occasional rustling of leaves in the breeze. You and Vander were seated by the fireplace, the warm glow from the flames casting gentle shadows across the room.

You had just finished tidying up after a long day of running around with the kids—Powder, Vi, Mylo, and Claggor. They were all sweet, each of them with their own personalities, their own quirks, and you loved every moment spent with them. But tonight, as you sat beside Vander, there was a different energy between you two. A quiet, lingering thought that had been on Vander’s mind for some time now.

Vander watched you from his seat, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he observed you. You were always so gentle, so patient with the kids. He had seen you day in and day out, playing with them, teaching them, loving them. It was clear how much you cared for them, and that made his heart swell with warmth. But tonight, something else flickered behind his eyes. Something he had been holding back for a while.

"You know," Vander began, his voice low and thoughtful, "you’ve been incredible with the kids."

You smiled at him, a soft, fond expression on your face. "I love them like they’re my own."

Vander’s gaze softened. "I can see that. They adore you. And it’s not just the way you take care of them—it’s the way you make them feel safe, the way you guide them. They need you, Y/N."

You shrugged, trying to hide the warmth in your chest. "They make it easy. They’re amazing kids."

Vander’s smile grew slightly, but there was something more in his eyes, a hint of something deeper. "You’ve been so good to them. I can't help but think…" He paused, as if carefully considering his words. "I wonder what it would be like to have another."

Your heart skipped a beat, unsure if you heard him correctly. "Another?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded slowly, his gaze turning toward the fire. "Yeah. You’re so good with them... I can’t help but imagine what it would be like, to have one of our own." His voice was quiet, almost a reflection of a thought he hadn’t fully voiced until now.

You stared at him, your mind racing. You loved the kids you already had but the idea of having one with Vander, of building your own family even further, was an exciting thought. You had always felt that spark of hope deep down, but you never dared to mention it, not wanting to push for something Vander might not feel the same about. But now, hearing him say it out loud, your heart fluttered with possibility.

"I..." You didn’t quite know what to say at first, the warmth in your chest expanding at the thought of another child. "I’ve thought about it, too. What it would be like to have one together."

Vander’s eyes found yours again, soft and full of tenderness. "I can’t help but wonder if we could handle another one. But then again..." He chuckled quietly, rubbing his hand over his chin. "We seem to manage just fine with the four of them."

You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. "They do keep us on our toes, don’t they?"

Vander grinned. "Yeah, but that’s what makes it worth it. Watching them grow, helping them become who they’re meant to be. And... I see the way you look after them. It’s something special."

You shifted closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder. "I love them, all of them. I love being their guardian, their guide." You sighed contently, your eyes falling closed as you breathed in the warmth of the room and the safety of his embrace. "I think another child could fit right in, don’t you?"

Vander’s hand found yours, gently intertwining your fingers. "Maybe it could. Maybe it’s time to see if we’re ready for that next step."

You turned your face up to look at him, your heart racing slightly as you met his gaze. The flickering light from the fire reflected in his eyes, giving them a depth of emotion that made your pulse quicken.

"You think we’re ready?" you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Vander’s grin grew as he leaned in slightly closer, his breath warm against your ear. "I think it’s something we should try."

You felt a shiver run down your spine at the tone in his voice, the weight of his words settling in. It was as if he was speaking not just about the idea of another child, but about everything that came with it—commitment, trust, love. His lips brushed against your ear as he continued, his voice low and smooth.

"I can’t think of a better person to have a child with than you, darling," he murmured. "So... what do you say? Are you ready to try?"

The air between you two seemed to crackle with tension, an unspoken promise, a shared understanding. You leaned into him, your heart thudding in your chest as you whispered back, "I’m ready."

With that, Vander’s lips found yours, gentle yet full of promise, as if sealing the decision, sealing the future. The kiss deepened, the warmth between you both growing stronger as you both knew, in that moment, that your love was only going to grow even further.

And as the fire crackled softly in the background, you both knew one thing for certain: a new chapter was beginning for you both. Together.

SILCO

It was late in the evening when Silco found himself watching you from across the room. You were sitting with Powder, laughing softly as the young girl showed you her latest creation—a makeshift toy made from scrap materials she’d found in the undercity. Powder’s face lit up with pride, and you, with your usual warmth, encouraged her with genuine admiration. Silco watched the scene unfold quietly from his seat, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the way you interacted with Powder. It was a bond he’d seen growing stronger with each passing day, and though he didn’t show it, it stirred something deep within him.

You had always been like a guiding force for Powder. She trusted you, adored you, and looked up to you in a way that only a daughter could. Silco had his own complicated feelings about it all—he'd never been one for sentimentality or nurturing, especially when it came to children. The thought of raising a child, having someone so vulnerable tied to him… it made his stomach turn.

He shifted in his chair, then stood and approached you, his gaze flickering between you and Powder for a moment before he spoke.

“Y/N,” Silco began, his voice steady but laced with an underlying seriousness, “there’s something I need to discuss with you.”

You turned your attention to him, a soft smile on your lips as you glanced from him to Powder. “What’s on your mind, Silco?”

He hesitated for a moment, then spoke again, his voice just a touch more guarded. “I’ve been thinking. About… children.”

You frowned, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. The seriousness in Silco’s tone made you wary, and you instinctively looked over at Powder. Her wide eyes were bouncing between you both, sensing the tension that was beginning to settle over the room.

“You should go get ready for bed, Powder,” you said softly, offering her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be with you in a minute, alright?”

Powder hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickering between you and Silco, before she nodded slowly. “Okay, Y/N,” she muttered, and with a last glance, she shuffled off toward her room, her footsteps growing quieter as she left the room.

Once the door clicked shut behind her, the air in the room felt heavier, and you turned back to Silco, your gaze now fixed on him with an unspoken understanding that the conversation had just shifted into something more serious.

Silco’s eyes never left you as he continued, his expression unreadable. “I’ve seen the way you care for Powder. The way you’ve taken her under your wing. And it’s…” He paused, almost unwilling to continue. “It’s admirable, the bond you share with her. But I want you to know this, Y/N…” He took a slow step closer, the intensity of his gaze unwavering. “I don’t want children. The thought of having a child, someone so vulnerable, tied to me… it’s a weakness. A risk. They could be used against me one day. I won’t allow that.””

You could feel the tension in the room rise as he spoke. You could see the vulnerability behind his eyes, the fear of losing control, and perhaps, in some twisted way, the self-awareness that having a child might be more than he could handle. And yet, it didn’t come as a surprise. Silco’s life had always been about control, power, and survival. The last thing he needed was someone to hold over him, to manipulate his emotions.

You took a deep breath, moving from your position on the floor to sit beside Silco, resting your hand gently on his leg. "You're not the only one who doesn't want children, Silco," you said softly.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean?"

You offered him a reassuring smile, your voice steady. "I’ve never really had the desire to have children of my own. Powder is the only daughter I need. She’s enough for me."

Silco’s eyes softened ever so slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching as if to form a smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "I suppose we both have our reasons."

You nodded, the weight of the conversation settling around you. "And those reasons are enough for me. Powder has always been the light in my life, and I’m happy with the family we’ve built. With you, with her, with everything we’ve worked for."

Silco regarded you for a long moment, his usual hard demeanour softening in the quiet of the room. He reached out, placing his hand gently over yours with a rare tenderness that made your heart skip.

"I respect that, love," he said quietly, his voice carrying more warmth than usual. "I can see how much she means to you. And how much you mean to her." His gaze flickered toward the door where Powder had gone off to bed, before returning to you. "I'm glad you're here. With me. With us."

Your smile deepened, warmth spreading through you despite the gravity of the conversation. "I’m glad, too, Silco."

The room fell into a long silence, but it was comforting, not uncomfortable. Both of you took in the truth of what had been said—no more, no less. The bond you shared, the family you had built, was more than enough. You didn’t need anything else.

"Good," Silco muttered after a pause, his usual commanding tone returning. "Then that’s settled."

You nodded, meeting his eyes with quiet conviction. "Yeah. It is."

And with that, the topic was closed—no resentment, no regret, just a mutual understanding between the two of you. You didn’t need a child to complete your family. You already had everything you needed in each other.

JINX/POWDER (PLATONIC!)

It was a quiet afternoon in the streets of Zaun, the sun casting an amber glow over the city as you wandered through the busy market, enjoying the calm between your usual chaotic routine. You had been picking up a few supplies, humming softly to yourself, when you noticed a small, frightened child standing near a stack of crates, eyes wide and scanning the crowd.

Instinctively, you approached the child, a gentle smile spreading across your face. “Hey there, you look lost,” you said, crouching down to their level. The child nodded, eyes brimming with tears, and you could see the desperation in their gaze.

“Don’t worry,” you reassured them softly, your voice warm. “Let’s find your parents, okay?”

The child clung to you as you took their hand, and as you made your way through the crowds, they became more and more comfortable in your presence, their grip on you loosening but still steady. The child’s fears slowly ebbed away, soothed by your steady presence. Eventually, you found the child’s parents near the merchant stalls, frantically scanning the crowd.

A tall woman with wild, auburn hair was the first to notice you approaching. Her expression softened with relief as you caught her gaze.

“Are you looking for someone?” you asked, glancing down at the child who had begun to tug at your shirt.

“Yes! My son!” The woman rushed toward you, and the child’s face lit up. Without another word, the child hopped off your hip and ran to their mother, clinging to her side.

“Oh thank you, thank you!” the woman said, tears welling up in her eyes as she held her child tight. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

The man beside her, who had been nervously pacing, stepped forward. His deep voice was shaky as he added, “We’ve been looking everywhere. We thought we lost him for good.” He turned to you with a grateful smile. “You’ve done more than we could have asked for.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied with a smile, your heart warming at the reunion. You nodded at them both. “Just happy to help.”

The woman reached out to pull you into a brief, heartfelt hug. “Thank you again. We’re in your debt.”

You returned the hug lightly, your thoughts drifting as you watched the mother and father take their child’s hand, walking together with him in tow. They waved as they walked away, and you waved back before turning to leave the scene.

It was in that moment that you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind you, followed by an all-too-familiar voice, sharp and full of an edge you recognized.

“What’s this?” Jinx’s voice echoed from behind, full of suspicion. “You just making friends with every little rat in the city now?”

You turned around to see her standing there, arms crossed, a scowl on her face as her eyes fixed not on you, but on the small child who had been clinging to you moments before.

Jinx’s gaze was icy, her brow furrowed as she narrowed her eyes at the child as they walk away with their parents. She took a slow step forward, the usual manic energy in her movements tempered by something else — jealousy. And that was a rare sight.

“Why’s was that kid clinging onto you like you’re his new mom?” Jinx sneered, her voice dripping with possessiveness, the insecurity in her words biting deeper than she likely intended. She shifted uncomfortably, hands fidgeting with the straps of her weapon as her gaze shists to you. Her foot tapped impatiently against the ground, and you could see her cheeks flush with frustration.

You raised an eyebrow, sensing the tension in the air, but also the deeper discomfort simmering beneath her words. “I was just helping them find their parents, Jinx. Nothing more to it.”

"Right," she muttered under her breath, her jealousy almost palpable now. “I see how it is. Just another kid looking for a mother figure while I... get left behind. Not enough room for me, huh?”

Her words hit harder than you expected, and for a split second, you felt a pang of regret for the situation, as if somehow you had betrayed her by offering your care to someone else. But then, you remembered who you were to Jinx — and who she was to you.

You took a deep breath, your eyes flickering to Jinx, who had taken a few steps closer, her posture tense and guarded, like she was expecting a confrontation.

“Jinx…” you began, your voice soft but with the weight of sincerity. “You know I care about you. That kid… they needed someone, and I just helped. It doesn’t change anything between us.”

Jinx’s expression faltered for a moment, and she looked away, biting her lip as she avoided meeting your gaze. There was a long pause before she muttered, her voice barely audible, “I know... It’s just, I... I don’t like seeing anyone else taking your attention. It’s like... you’re spreading yourself thin, and I’m afraid there won’t be enough of you for me.”

You took a step closer, your heart aching as you read the vulnerability in her words. Gently, you cupped her cheek, guiding her face to meet yours. “You’re my priority, Jinx. Always.”

Her eyes softened, a flicker of gratitude passing through the storm of emotions that she usually kept hidden. She let out a soft sigh, her usual wildness dimming as she allowed herself to relax for just a moment.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, her hands falling loosely at her sides, her expression more like the girl you knew — Powder. The one who wanted to be tough, but deep down just wanted to be cared for.

You smiled warmly at her, your thumb brushing her cheek tenderly. “Don’t be. You never have to apologize for needing me. And you’ll always have my attention when you need it.”

A small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she finally let her guard down a bit more. The jealousy, while still lingering beneath the surface, was no longer as intense. She knew, deep down, that your bond was something that couldn’t be easily replaced or shared with anyone else.

Jinx huffed softly, a touch of her usual playful spark returning as she bumped her shoulder against yours. “Yeah, well, you better not go getting attached to every little lost kid running around.”

You chuckled, leaning into her shoulder for a brief moment. “I’ll try to keep my ‘motherly instincts’ in check for you, alright?”

“Good,” she said, her tone a mix of relief and mischief. “But if you’re gonna start collecting kids, at least pick the cool ones, yeah?”

You laughed softly, rolling your eyes but feeling lighter. “I’ll keep that in mind, Jinx.”

And as you both walked away from the market, side by side, you knew this was just another layer of your relationship with Jinx — an unspoken understanding that no matter the jealousy or misunderstandings, you would always be there for each other, no matter what.

[babyb1ues]

A little something about Xavier and his display of jealousy

It’s not even the first time we’ve seen him come across as bitchy, jealous or stand off-ish with other people when it comes to the MC, but regardless of that, I think the reason one might think it’s OOC or weird of him to be /this/ jealous is simply because it’s never made clear where it’s coming from, as in, the root of it all—granted, it shouldn’t have to be spelled out, it’s right there for one to read if you sit with the context, his character and try to understand the situation beyond just what you’ve been presented.

I don’t see it as lack of confidence—I do not believe even for a second that he feels inferior to others, humans or not, I think, for him, this sort of jealousy is a very complex thing that comes from a deep need and fear, which in turns spills into a certain type of dominance that he already naturally seemed to carry, but that’s a very different subject.

I’m talking about the physical need of being with someone he already lost twice, the years of missing and yearning, that’s why I also believe there’s something so very carnal about the way he behaves and, well, wants. He thrives on being with the one he loves, he’s clingy like that. The perceived notion of someone he loves being taken from him, in any way, I think, sort of puts him in fight mode—he’s snappy, pouty, bitchy, sometimes. He’s already been in a position of abandonment before, one time unwilling and another one where he saw no other choice but to leave, but it’s not just about that, but also about the loss of no longer being understood, of not being seen as who he is, since that’s the beginning of this connection for him—and now that he’s found her again, by some sort of miracle, I feel it makes sense for his hackles to be raised. Here he is, trying to make up for lost centuries, and someone comes and wants to whisk her attention away? In his head, he won’t have that. Also, I don’t know if he believes other people have pure intentions (probably not) so I wonder if he’s also protective about that.

This article does a good job in explaining different types of jealousy and where they come from, so with all of that, I think we just have to understand the basis of his character, the trauma and history, and how all those past experiences manifest into strong emotions that he’s kept to himself for so long, also another reason why he’s generally intense. For the first time, he’s been living since he’s been alive, and now, well, he’s running out of time :p

[koifishhies]

yes yes yes yes yes!! oh my god i completely forgot about eating food with his hands part. every day I’m less and less convinced chibnall autism coded this man on accident. another thing I’ve noticed is in his little office, he always has the lamps on and rarely the ceiling light. or after Sandbrooke is solved, when he goes to have a good cry in the empty interrogation room, he keeps the lights off. probably a sensory thing. ceiling lights can be a sensory nightmare.

ugh there’s just so much about him. the way he wears the same things every day, is an extremely picky eater, doesn’t really say “hello” or any kind of greetings and it rubs people the wrong way. i need to rewatch this show with my notepad out like a maniac.

also ABSOLUTELY agree with what you said about Ellie, when she chews him out about how he behaves and he begrudgingly takes the food. that’s definitely around the time he was starting to build respect for her and see her abilities. so he backtracks—where before he’d completely dropped the mask and decided to disregard and forgo even trying to make any social connection in Broadchurch, he decides, hey, this one is worth it. he compromises, he takes the food. and he starts working with her more, challenging her, bouncing ideas off her. and though he may be framed as the more experienced one, her contribution teaches him and makes him a better detective too.

but then, the whole ordeal with Joe happens, and Ellie is absolutely wrecked, obviously. but even though this whole time Alec has been the one telling her to close her heart, be objective, look at her town from the outside, etc etc, he doesn’t go in with an “i told you so” mentality. he is so, so sympathetic, and he is so horribly sorry for her. you can see how hard he’s trying to be gentle and comforting when breaking the news to her. because he’s been through this before. he’s been through an absolutely horrific case that tore his family apart. he’s watching all that happen again, to someone he might even dare call a friend, and he can’t do anything to stop it. he can only be there, and understand.

though they had the potential to be close before, I think this really cemented their bond/friendship. the whole situation leads to Ellie being socially ostracized, which, in a way, puts them on the same level. who can she spend time with, who won’t look at her with either judgment or pity, but Alec? the man who’s been socially ostracized his entire goddamn life?

when Alec brings her into the Sandbrooke case, you can argue he does so because he wants her fresh and different perspective, while also trusting her expertise. sure. but I doubt he would have done it if Ellie hadn’t gone through what she had. it’s such a vulnerable thing for him to do, isn’t it? he said it himself, this is the case he nearly died over, the one that completely ruined his life. he even tells her about his trauma with dragging Pippa’s body out of the water. it is such a blatant display of trust. and I absolutely adore your take of saying he did it for her sake, to occupy her, to give her something to do because he cares about her in that way. it’s like he’s trying to tell her, hey, look, I made it out of this. yeah I came out a little broken, but I made it out the other side, and you will too. broken hearts can mend, after all.

and Ellie’s not ready to accept it yet! even if it’s exactly what she needs! she works on the case, kind of pretending the whole time that she only did it because Alec asked her to, and that’s all. she doesn’t want the olive branch, she doesn’t want the hugs, she doesn’t want the comfort. and Alec doesn’t push any more. he does what he can, and he leaves. but the foundation has cemented itself, and by the time he returns to Broadchurch in s3, look who’s working together again!

it’s such a multi-faceted, complex bond you don’t see portrayed so well in media very often, ESPECIALLY between just friends, ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY between male-female friends. i absolutely rambled for way longer than i intended to and this post is INSANELY long at this point, but i love them so much and finding different angles to look at them is making me foam at the mouth with joy. no wonder David says Broadchurch heavily changed and influenced the landscape when it came out, you can’t expect this level of care and depth from just any detective drama

I just love how broadchurch (unintentionally) made an autistic-coded detective, but instead of going the sherlock route they made him just. a guy. he’s not special in any way, he’s not a savant, he’s just kinda There and Traumatized About It the entire time.

like alec hardy wants one thing in life and it’s to do his job, but he’s also constantly faced with the unfortunate reality that his job Sucks. he’s also actively dying half the time. and that’s it that’s his character.

also he’s not a twink like most autistic coded savants in media, and I may not be a middle aged dad but that’s the kind of representation I can get behind

[limonjarritos]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE HARU?! Who else does it like her?

[arcaneconfessions]

“The moral implications of this are too heavy for me to ignore whenever I see Mel/Vik content. I don’t understand how people treat them like Barbie dolls to make them kiss while ignoring the elephant in the room.”

Do you seriously not see why people would explore their dynamic—whether as queerplatonic or romantic? They’re tragic foils: outcasts from their societies, both devoted to progress through politics and science, both touched by the arcane. One starts as a pacifist and ends up creating the deadliest weapon imaginable. The other is raised by a warlord to embrace violence but ultimately works to shut the war down.

Mel Medarda’s fatal flaw is her inconsideration of the council’s oppression of Zaun, even as she claims she’s trying to ‘give back to the world’ through hextech. Viktor’s fatal flaw is that through his use of hextech, meant to ‘improve lives’— he himself founds a eugenicist cult in Zaun and kills countless people who desperately needed help.

They both become the closest things to gods. She is natural born magic and he is man made. They can understand each other in ways nobody else can.

It’s fascinating and tragic. That’s the point. It’s complex fanfiction. That’s the point.

Ignoring Viktor or Mel’s complexities to sanitize them when they are both flawed feels cheap and hollow. In any ship they’re in.

Saying Melvik shippers are making them kiss each other ‘like Barbie dolls’ is ironic when writers that develop the canon, yes the canon, business relationship between Viktor and Mel tend to write more politically interesting fics than a lot of other people. (Along with Meljayvik shippers or Jayvik shippers that really consider the dynamic all three of them have and how rich it can be).

Once again. Melvik/Meljayvik writers? Love you guys. Thanks for the fics.

Those of you that don’t like it? Just don’t read it. Easy AF.

I’m sure there’s a coffee shop AU for you or something. I promise you there’s no moral implications there.

.

[bwat5-blog]

Breaking The Cycle: Silco and Jinx's final talk

**Spoilers For Arcane**

The relationship between Silco and Jinx is wonderfully complex and dark. Father and daughter, teacher and student, but also haunter and haunted.... People love both of these characters and rightfully so. Even Silco who I have been so harsh on is a wonderful character in his own right. Brilliant, well spoken, and so tragically twisted he cannot see how lost he has become. Jinx, for her part, is the story of a little girl whose mind is ripped apart by the violence around her, and how through her own strength as well as the love and support of those she meets along the way reclaims her soul in the face of overwhelming loss.

What I want to talk about today is this discussion between "them" in the second to last episode of the series. I have done so in a few small ways over the last few weeks but never as a focus. And every time I have been surprised to read some of the thoughts and responses to this scene. So, to that end. I thought it merited a good focused look. To any who take the time to read, thank you so much. I hope you get something out of this like I do!

How We Got Here:

Okay, we are here to discuss that scene, but that is almost at the end of the show. I have written quite a bit about both Silco and Jinx, and their relationship. Therefore I am not doing a complete and total deep dive here regarding their past. But, as I like to say context is our friend. So to understand this moment, let's at least do a quick rundown of what lead to it.

Silco, Vander and Felicia were all very good friends in Zaun when they were young. Silco and Vander were the primary architects for the idea of Zaun but Felicia was very close with them. Silco and Vander swore an oath to create a safer Zaun for Felicia's unborn child, who of course is Vi.

Sometime after Felicia's death during their revolutionary activities, Vander blames Silco and almost kills him. Leading to their complete parting of ways, Silco losing an eye, and Silco completely reinventing himself from that pain and anger.

Taking revenge, Silco abducts Vander and causes the deaths of Sheriff Grayson and Benzo. During the attempted rescue of Vander, he tries to have Vi killed, and through his actions causing the scenario to begin with is responsible for the deaths of Vander, Mylo and Claggor.

Silco takes Powder for his own and raises her as his daughter. Teaching her to weaponize her pain and anger until she starts going by Jinx and becomes a part of his operations, spreading Shimmer and fear and death throughout the Undercity.

Silco is killed during Jinx's mental breakdown while trying to convince Jinx to kill Vi instead.

Now, a few things of note moving forward regarding their relationship that are very important:

Silco Did Love JInx- Despite the darkness of their meeting. I do think Silco loved Jinx as his daughter. He is shown to be very patient and defensive of her. He is extremely distraught when she is dying on the bridge after her fight with Ekko and even more so when it seems Singed may have killed her.

That Love Was Completely And Totally Toxic- As I stated in the beginning of this document I am not doing a whole run-down on their relationship again demonstrating Silco's influence. But for a quick example; Silco knows Jinx carries a tremendous amount of unresolved trauma over losing her family. She thinks Vi is dead. Silco finds out Vi is alive and the only thing he tries to do is kill her before she can find Jinx, to prevent losing her himself.

Jinx Loves Silco- At the end of the day, regardless of how their story together began, Silco matters to Jinx. She was with him during her formative years. She was so young when Connal died she probably barely remembers him. And she has mentally distanced herself from Vander as a father figure to protect herself. (I'm not saying she doesn't care. See almost all of season two as proof that she does. I'm just saying they don't have the same bond as they might have if things had gone differently. That's all).

Life Without Him:

In the wake of Silco's death, Jinx is alone. She and Vi are worlds apart, Vander is dead, Silco is gone, and the people of the Undercity fear her. But as the story develops she starts to come back to life, little by little. Growing "closer" with Sevika, Isha coming into her life. These things and more slowly start to open her world in a way that is more than death and destruction, especially when she reconnects with Vi.

But we do see hints of how Silco's legacy influences her.

Life With Isha-

In the months since the battle against Vi and Caitlyn, Jinx has found a measure of piece in living quietly with Isha. She stays out of the public eye. She has not fought against the Noxians or Enforcers. Her whole life is with this little girl who quite literally fell on her. And while of course there are bigger things at work, and we understand that this small world she has made for herself cannot last, we need to remember how we left things with Jinx. On her back, urging Vi to kill her. So how does Silco's memory intrude?:

Sevika comes in, wanting Jinx to take part in their upcoming rally. And when Jinx refuses Sevika grows frustrated:

S- "Silco spent his whole life trying to rally the undercity together.. stupid joke that it is, you have the chance to pull it off."

J- "I told you, I'm not interested".

S- "Do you know how much he sacrificed to protect you?!.. he believed in your potential". (As soon as she slams her fist down Jinx starts breathing heavy, glitching, eyes wide)

J- "well then he shouldn't have died!"

Cut to Silco's former office...

"Still giving me the silent treatment"

We listen as Jinx speaks to the open air, spinning Silco's old chair. What it basically comes to is she feels she probably owes him being that symbol (the idea of her owing him anything is completely outrageous but we aren't going there right now), but is afraid of losing what she has with Isha. She says he should speak up if he wants her to be his rebel leader otherwise, he really is gone. And there is no reason for her to stay.

Isha Taken-

Isha being taken at the rally is what drives Jinx back into the world against her will. Back into the violence and the death. And why did Isha attend that rally? Sevika came and spoke of Jinx's responsibility. Of Silco's sacrifice. Now, let me totally clear. Isha is a wild-child and was already doing stuff at the checkpoints and painting images for the rebellion. I am not putting this on Sevika in turns of blame. My point, is that it all comes back to Silco. Silco's shadow slithered into her peace and now, it's gone. And as we see, in this moment he is not comforting, or reassuring as a specter. He is another mocking demon in a moment of loss.

So what does this all mean:

The death of Silco, while incredibly emotional and traumatic for Jinx, was the beginning of her freedom. Even in death, Silco's reputation, his legacy, his actions, they all cast a shadow over Jinx that she cannot get away from. The people of Piltover see the monster Silco made her into, the people of Zaun see her as his heir. The one who can unite the Undercity in glorious revolution. All she wants is to be with Isha....

She can't get away from it. And through plot, and visual story telling the show is NOT vague about this. "Still giving me the silent treatment" implies she has tried to talk to him since his death. When does she finally see him? When she is angry, and scared for Isha, and pushing back against the shadows in her mind.

I am willing to admit that it's probably just my dislike of him (again as a villain he is amazing but I'd chuck him in a meatgrinder in person). But the way I see that image above is that after Jinx tearfully said he needed to speak up or it would mean he was really gone in his old office.. here he is laughing at her in a moment of darkness and rage.

"Haha, you wanted me. Here I am"..

In the Bunker:

J- "go away.. you're too late" S- "oh, it's a hell of a place. It says something about the late Marcus that he found imprisoning your sister to be a greater mercy than killing her" J- "killing isn't mercy" S- "a spark of rebellion still burns inside that husk, I see. No. Killing is a cycle. One that started long before Vander and me. And one that will continue long after the two of you. J- "I'm done running in circles' S- We build our own prisons. Bars forged of oaths, codes, commitments. Walls of self-doubt and accepted limitation. We inhabit these cells, these identities, we call them us. I thought I could break free by eliminating those I deemed my jailers. But... Jinx.. I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away".

Okay, we come at last to the scene I really wanted to dig into here. Jinx is in the Kiramman bunker, not Stillwater as some folks seem to have missed. She has lost Isha. She has just spoken with Caitlyn, she is quiet, and weak, and sounds so.. so exhausted. Her hair is undone, she isn't eating, and she has been picking at the skin of her fingers. She is truly in a very dark place.

But it is so.. so different than the darkness we are used to from her. There is no glitching, no fits of rage or empty pained laughter. For all the pain she is in and the clear, crushing depression, there is also a clarity she has not really ever shown. She apologizes to Caitlyn in her way, she finally can see how much Vi loves her and how much she loves Vi in return. In giving up, in surrendering all of those horrible battles in her mind and laying them down because she intends to end her life, she is seeing things more clearly than she has ever been able to. And it is in this state we get the above exchange.

Now, I have seen some various gripes about this across several places. Here are a few:

Silco has been reduced to being a pro-piltover mouthpiece.

By hearing it from Silco we are seeing jinx hasn't really progressed.

The scene doesn't make sense because Silco would never say this.

Regarding the accusations of character assassination of Silco:

Silco as his own character, including his own story, beliefs, ideals and values, is completely and utterly irrelevant to this scene. This is not about what he would or wouldn't do if he were alive, because he isn't. At the risk of stating the extremely obvious, Jinx is alone in this place. But even as far as she has come her mind is still not whole. So in this terrible moment of loss and pain as she is on the cusp of a realization that will change her life forever, who Silco was does not matter. He is simply the pencil her mind is using to write the lesson in a way she can understand.

Regarding the accusation that seeing him means Jinx has not learned or progressed:

This moment is without a doubt, one of the most important moments in all of Jinx's development to me. She is seeing Silco because for better or worse she views him as a father figure. He has become the lens through which she at least partially views the world.

Remember this?:

When Vi was hurt, and alone , and wanted so badly to give up it was Vander she saw and heard in her mind. So as Jinx is processing this revelation, that she doesn't want to keep being this person anymore. She doesn't want to keep killing, to keep running in circles, to be a revolutionary or a terrorist anymore and she just wants it all to stop this conversation is how her mind does this.

Take away Silco from this moment and what are we left with: Jinx realizing that the only way for the horror to end is to walk away.

Let the message come from Silco in its way: Jinx's mind freeing itself of Silco's influence and what she feels she owes him because he is telling her it's okay to walk away.

CONCLUSION:

In this moment, Jinx is essentially, giving herself permission to turn away from the pain and death of her history. Away from the guilt of who she has been and even away from the corrupting tendrils of Silco's legacy. She applies this same lesson to what she does with Vi, giving Vi permission to start living for herself again and stop dwelling on the pain of their past.

Now of course, what she does with Vi is based in love, and right now she has come to believe that she herself is not worthy of said love. There is no good version of her in her mind. And thankfully she is able to be pulled out of that darkness by Ekko. But what we are seeing here regardless of her plans, is the clarity to realize that as long as she and Vi stay shackled to their pain, it will just keep repeating over and over.

Thank you for reading, have a a great day!

**Y'all I know I repeat this every time but I think it's important. So much of Jinx's story is impacted by her mental health especially the state she is in during this part of her story. I AM NOT in any way, shape, or form a mental health professional. I am just a fan doing my best to understand what I think is one of the best stories and one of it's best characters in my lifetime. Thank you**

[sissa-arrows]

Y’all need the context. A lot of things happened in France and I was trying to shut up but I realized I can’t. (The video is from last year about an other subject I mentioned in an other post back when it happened I only used it as a reaction video to what Macron did)

Today Macron had a meeting with all the French ambassadors during that meeting he did said a lot of bullshit but two things specifically.

1: He said Algeria was “dishonoring itself” by refusing to free Sansal because France doesn’t consider his arrest as legitimate. There’s so many things to unpack there.

Sansal fucking supported the “Greater Morocco” plan aka a plan where Morocco would colonize a huge part of Algeria as well as our allies in Western Sahara and Mauritania. He is also a Zionist who visited occupied Palestine saying that Arabs should just go and meet “Israelis” to see that they are nice people and that we shouldn’t hate them. Sansal did all of that while being paid and supported by France aka the people who colonized Algeria and killed more than 1 millions Algerians just during the war of liberation. Algeria’s history means that we don’t joke with colonialism. So Sansal was arrested because supporting colonialism aka a crime against humanity is not protected by freedom of speech (which is a very good thing). On top of it Algeria is a sovereign country even if supporting crimes against humanity was something that should be covered by freedom of speech (it’s not) France has zero business telling Algeria whether or not our laws are valid. France long history in favor of colonialism and genocide makes it so antizionism and anti colonialism in general is not properly protected by free speech and while Algeria disagree with these laws our government is not over there telling the French government it’s dishonoring the country.

2: Macron also said I quote “I think they (African countries) forgot to tell us thank you. That’s not a big deal it’s a matter of time, ungratefulness, I know what I’m talking about, is a disease not transmissible to Men. I say it for all the African leaders who weren’t brave enough to admit it in front of their people: none of them would have a sovereign country if it wasn’t for the operations of the French army.”

This one is fucked up on so many levels I don’t think I need to explain it cause if you don’t understand what’s wrong with it you shouldn’t be on my blog (or maybe you should use it to educate yourself).

Macron’s words were the words of a colonizer because that’s what he is. They reeked of that superiority complex the colonizers often have. And he only attacked Algeria directly and then Africa because Algeria represent resistance against French colonialism. And all the other African countries that are finally kicking out French troops are also a representation of that resistance against French colonialism.

P.S: So many things happened since my last posts… Algeria even caught the DGSE, French equivalent of the CIA, trying to recruit former terrorists in Algeria to finance them, arm them and encourage them to (re)form a terror group to attack the people and the government. Except the people they tried to recruit reported them to the authorities. Macron was also super condescending to the people of Mayotte after the hurricane that destroyed the island… when they complained he had the audacity to tell them that it’s not about race (majority of the indigenous people are Black Muslims) and he said “well you’re happy to be French without us you would have it harder”. Anyway.

Once a colonizer always a colonizer.

I’m staying away from Tumblr because y’all tend to encourage me a bit too much and lately I don’t need to be encouraged to say what I think. I need to calm down.

But I will make one comment about Macron and France these past few weeks.

Once a colonizer always a colonizer.

[snorlaxlovesme]

my problem recommending Link Click to people

clearly, i love Link Click. i find the show emotionally compelling, the characters are well-written and interesting, the complex/convoluted plot is very crunchy for my adhd brain to chew on. LOVE that. however. i have yet to find a person irl who Sees My Vision when i recommend the show to them, and i think it's the fandom's fault.

not in bad way! but i think this show is a good example of media that exists for FANS and not casual viewers.

season 1 is by far the most accessible. a straightforward story about two guys solving crime by time travelling in photos. don't mess up the past, it could mess up the future, etc etc. everything is linear, the character motivations are pretty clear, the plot is seriously gripping. the only accessibility hurdles are the piss poor subs we had to deal with and the lack of on-screen text translation. and i suppose if you don't like shows that are episode-5-level heavy then this probably isn't the show for you.

season 2 already starts off on a very niche foot with the fact that there was a pretty big spoiler (or a hint at one) in the XETROVERTHINK music video that released before the season aired. fans who knew about that video were already speculating, and by the first 30 seconds of season 2, theories were running RAMPANT. NOW everyone was intentionally looking for hints of time travel mid-season. they were predicting how and when cheng xiaoshi might die. it made an extremely confusing season FUN because even when we didn't know what the hell was going on, we could always fall back on the lu guang timeloop theory to chew on.

but if you didn't see the XETROVERTHINK video? well, you probably weren't paying as close attention to what lu guang was saying in the first 30 seconds. the shot of cheng xiaoshi dying lasted for only a second or two. blink and you miss it. if you didn't rewatch the episode, you probably wouldn't notice. in a show where so many things don't make sense, that could have just been one more to add to the pile.

cut back to all the people that I've forced to watch the show, I can say that they did NOT have the same watching experience that i had as a fun following along on tumblr. which is fine, but they do look at me like i'm insane when i try to explain that this is the most fun show ever created.

after one of my friends finished season 2 i sent him a draft of the fic i was writing for some feedback and when he got to season 2-spoiler specific part, he didn't fully understand that lu guang had gone back in time to prevent cheng xiaoshi from dying, and therefore didn't understand what i had written. he didn't have the fandom, who had been speculating about that for 12 full weeks before the reveal, so as a casual fan, the first time he received that info was in that last 2 minutes of the season, and he didn't full understand it

my younger sister has made it to yingdu, and every time i try to talk to her about it when get to talk about shiguang a lot, but i don't have much time to sit her down and show her frame by frame analyses of why the lu guang vs vein interaction in episode one looks like it might be in two different timelines. she's not seeing that there's morse code in the books or interpreting sonnets or pausing to check the eye color of characters, so when i talk to her about it we're scratching maybe 3% of what the show is truly communicating with us.

and again, it makes me look like a total headcase when i try to explain to people that this is the best show ever and so much fun because if you're not INTERACTING with the show and with the fans, mulling over the minute details in a scene or asking for a more accurate translation of something, it's like you're missing out on most of the show

i once tried to recommend my sister one of my favorite pokemon fanfics of all time. she'd read some others and seemed interested, so i sent her the link and then told her that to fully understand it she'd need to have knowledge of basically every major character in the entire pokemon anime, from kid trainers to gym leaders to Champions to villains to rivals to professors. she'd also have to know how they all relate to each other, PLUS some game characters. i sent her a list of episodes she needed to watch for character and plot relevance and links to wikipedias for other main characters. after she absorbed all this information then she could truly understand why this was the greatest fic ever!!

that's what recommending Link Click is feeling like, currently. like i want you to like this show, i want you to understand this show like i do, but that means you HAVE to be insane about it. there's no other way to appreciate it if you're not in the fandom.

[crab-people-overlord]

I was reading through someone else’s post who makes a great point about how both ‘Ginger Cow’ and ‘Humancentipad’ are both just…. painful episodes of Kyle suffering to watch, but how ‘Ginger Cow’ expands more on Kyle’s dynamics with the others so is an important one to not skip over. I already had an analysis of this episode queued up, but decided to share now lol.

What sets the two episodes apart is that ‘Humancentipad’ doesn’t really add much to any of the canon for the show, so you honestly don’t miss much if you skip that episode. It doesn’t really demonstrate any new dynamics or canon for any of them. We already know Cartman manipulates his mom and enjoys Kyle's suffering. And we already know Stan and others will try to help Kyle when he's in trouble. It's South Park business as usual.

But "Ginger Cow"? Even though this episode is similarly painful to watch, it’s very important in how it develops the relationships between ALL of the main four boys in relation to Kyle, especially the Kyle-Stan-Cartman triangle.

There's something very telling and interesting about how Cartman torments Kyle in this episode. It's not just his usual "ha ha Kyle suffers" routine - it's way more psychological and to an extent, more sophisticated than his usual tactics (funny to call breathing in farts sophisticated, but… eh, in the way he uses it as torture, it is). Cartman basically creates this whole elaborate scenario where Kyle has to CHOOSE to subject himself to humiliation, which is so much more twisted than just directly trying to cause him pain through the same remarks he usually does. He weaponizes Kyle’s own martyr complex against him, which is kind of genius in a fucked up way.

In the B plot, you have Kenny and Stan who just do not understand why Kyle is going along with Cartman’s whims. Stan has many scenes in which he confronts Kyle. He is genuinely trying to understand why Kyle is going along with this and not giving up - and Kenny to a lesser extent is in the background backing Stan up.

Stan tries many different tactics to get Kyle to stop succumbing to Cartman’s farting, and when he sees that Kyle is too stubborn to stop, he then tries to see where Kyle is coming from. He really respects Kyle, and in his mind, if Kyle won’t stop, there must be a reason for it, right? But Kyle won’t open up to the ‘why’ of it all. At one point, Stan starts his line of questioning again. “... Dude, we’ve been friends for a long time. Can you just at least tell me why you like Cartman’s farts so much?.... You like… how they smell? How they taste?.... Should I try them?”

He offers to try them himself to understand, which is WILD lmfao. But he just genuinely is so confused as to why Kyle is letting himself be tortured to the point that he offers to go try it as well, and if that isn’t a bro being a bro, then I don’t know what tf is. Of course, Kyle exclaims, “NO”, wanting to save him from the same fate as what he has to go through. Kyle is justifying it in his mind as he really does think he is being the chosen one to save humanity here.

While this episode is hard to watch, I do genuinely find the Stan and Kenny dynamics hilarious and underrated. The repeated scenes where Stan goes to recap his conversation with Kyle are so funny. At one point, Stan says, “I don’t get it, Kenny,” to a Kenny that’s been waiting patiently outside. Kenny just shrugs and says, “Dude, maybe he’s, like, mentally ill or something”, lmaoooo.

And then the moment where Stan goes on the big screen as he calls Kyle is genuinely funny to me as well. He tries to tell Kyle he found out Cartman’s been lying, and Kyle is like, “Duh, dude. Why the fuck do you think I’ve been going along with it 😭” And that’s when Stan finally understands why Kyle’s doing it. But he still tells Kyle he thinks he’s being a dick about it all, but ultimately decides to help Kyle out. I think the part where Stan tells Kyle sternly that he needs to apologize to Kenny as well is so fucking funny (and then Kenny’s cheery ‘It’s okay, Kyle!’) is everything lmfao.

Stan and Kyle’s dynamic here particularly is interesting to me because it is SO similar to their dynamic in the ‘Butterballs’ episode, just in reverse where Stan is the one lecturing Kyle for getting up his ass for trying to be a ‘savior’.

Stan mentions something like this many times, but when Kyle compares himself to Gandhi, Stan replies, “You know, I don’t think when Ghandi starved himself he was all ‘Dude look how fuckin’ awesome I am for starving. Check me out!””. This is pretty much the same parallel as Kyle telling Stan he was gonna end up naked and jacking it in San Diego in “Butterballs”. Both those episodes are painful for me to watch, but I do love how it shows how both Stan and Kyle care about each other enough to call each other out on their bullshit like real friends should.

I think that both Stan and Kyle both have moments where they get so caught up in trying to be the ‘hero’ that they don’t realize they’re being more performative and making justifications rather than actually helping. (other examples include ‘A Scause for Applause’ for Stan, and ‘Crack Baby Athletic Association’ for Kyle.) Note that I think these episodes are more the exception rather than the rule for both characters as I really do think both try their hardest in their own ways to be good, but those episodes are examples of what I mentioned above and add interesting depth to both their characters.

p.s. there’s a deleted scene where Stan and Kenny actually go to the doctor to try to find out what’s wrong with Kyle and it’s so cute lmfao. It’s giving the time stan went to the doctor to try to give up his kidney for Kyle. It’s short, but also shows how much they truly work hard behind the scenes to help their friend out. One of the screenshots provided is from that scene.

[lost-romantique]

hi i'm new to HB and looove your blog. such good and accurate meta on stolitz and i keep exasperatedly yelling "thank you!!!!" out loud lol. one thing i keep daydreaming about is blitz's romantic feelings toward stolas and more specifically WHEN his romo feelings started. do you have any thoughts on this you wouldn't mind sharing? please and thank you!

D'aww thank you for enjoying my metas!

I think Blitz's romantic feelings for Stolas really started emerging due to the nature of their transactional relationship, and a lot of it has to do with the relationship Blitz has had with sex in general.

I made a meta on it awhile back in September, and even with Season 2 finally completed, I still stand by this meta.

Oh the irony, that the 'transactional fucking' between Blitz and Stolas, being that main reasons why Blitz was able to fall in love with Stolas in the first place.

Anyway, what Season 2.5 aimed to do and accomplish with Blitz and his character development, lies in trying to fix his intimacy issues that we're first introduced to us in Truthseekers.

"I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but... also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you... such as myself."

Thanks for the question, and thanks for enjoying my blog!

[sapphicslaylist]

HELLO YES T H ANK YOU FOR THIS

I was like holy shit am I the only one who sees how codependent he is. It isn’t a deliberate sense of harm so much as just him trying to be pacifist and affectionate, often trapping himself in a cycle of, subconsciously, fear of a lash out just as much as the princess is.

In Damsel, Burned Grey, HEA: You nailed it; I genuinely have nothing else to add. Excellent. Thank you.

Razor, MOC, Fury: You died horrifically and he was just one of many voices who arrived after & often experiences continuous slaughter therein. He notably discusses [paraphrasing this] MOC as cruel and merciful for even an ounce of kindness. He is literally grasping at straws for justification of why he is chaining himself to someone who’s hurt him and he’s hurt in turn so irreparably with the insistence that he needs to fix it. He’s similar to Broken in idolization & power; it’s devotion to someone with that over you. He MUST alter the script not only to break the cycle, but to SURVIVE. Yes, Smitten is a flawed survival voice. He just wants the bloodshed to stop.

Thorn: ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL to his development. She is inverted Damsel. Damsel is his worst; it’s where he makes it horrible for everyone including himself by insisting he has control over the situation. In Thorn, he actually suits her needs and reads her signals properly as a cry for help (both physical & psychological, because let’s be honest Thorn is HELLA mental illness coded). She, like him, is begging to break the cycle and survive.

Much in the same way that Smitten is underappreciated as a survivalist, Thorn is indeed one of the Ferals™️ (Beast/Den, Witch/Thorn, & Wild). Everyone within that path are stripped of their perceived humanity, and have adapted to overcome it by gaining claws and teeth (Thorn still has hers; they’re just hidden beneath the guise of civility). She understands that you need to put your differences aside to get out.

Smitten, in this case, has understood the way that Witch operates. She is distrustful for a clear and obvious reason: you lie and turn to violence once she’s vulnerable. The blade exchange is a method of empathetic sacrifice when it gets right down to it — you’re showing that you’re not a threat. But she can’t trust you, despite longing for that to be the truth. So when it shows that you were serious about trying to be better, you’ve both went in for the kill and created a cycle where no one wins.

Thorn is, in the end, the Truth™️ Smitten is seeking. She proves everything that he’s fighting for, the real “happy fairytale story.” She’s a woman caught in a self-imposed snare who is actively wants help and reconnection. She has been molded to think critically of the situation, and still wants to be with you. She sets clear and vocal boundaries with you, which Smitten NOTES are clear and vocal (“she trusts us! She trusts us! We should be honored to gain even an ounce of it from a maiden so guarded” — I AM NOT saying that Damsel is “wrong” for not setting them; she does not know how). He actively defends her against the threats she cannot see while letting her take control, because she has a voice and he knows it. You can leave together seamlessly and break the situation to your will. You communicate. You both get what Smitten knows she wants and she doesn’t know how (“this one years for connections she thinks she doesn’t deserve”). She is the antithesis of HEA & Damsel. She’s aware. She’s the situation which proves everything Smitten is fighting for. If you slay her, you are bound for eternally. You both have to stop fighting and team up.

I have… Soooo many thoughts about HEA vs Thorn (notably, on the poster, Thorn holds the blade close to her chest wherein HEA actively flicks it away) and their situations with Smitten. Smitten is deeply psychologically complex and reacts to setting without understanding of Her unless it’s blatantly clear. Tl:dr someone needs to get this man some therapy and help him istg. He’s phenomenal when he’s able to read the situation and earthshattering when he is not.

Voice of the Smitten is a coping mechanism. (and so are the other voices)

The same thing applies to the rest of the voices, yes. But for my sanity, today, let's just talk about Smitten[I am ill about him].

Smitten is fixated on the Princess and on appeasing Her because he's born out of a belief that She's their only way to happiness and safety.

In Damsel's chapter 1, LQ establishes for themself that the Narrator is not a safe nor trustworthy person, but unlike Prisoner's ch1, instead of learning to be generally cautious and adopting an idea that there's no one they can fully trust, Quiet puts all of their trust into the Princess.

I strongly believe that, in order to shield themself from a dangerous, unclear, and scary reality, LQ dives into a sort of... 'fairytale' scenario. And that scenario, by extension, becomes the backbone of Smitten's whole worldview. He, just like the rest of the voices, is born out of a need for safety and control, and he knows of it as his purpose and his yearning. His mindset works as a mechanism that protects Quiet from a state of intense stress and discomfort.

So then, what is this mindset, exactly?

Well, for Smitten, expectations of certain roles appear. Roles that everyone has and needs to uphold: The Shining Knight, the Helpless Damsel, the Villain that's keeping them apart.

"Then you should know that we and the Princess are in love and the four of us will be foiling any and all assassination attempts you've got in the works."

These roles bring a sense of comfort. He has this vision of what the world is supposed to be, of what he's supposed to be. Fairytales always have happy endings, so with this vision, there comes a promise of everything working out.

"If he just makes everything go the way it's supposed to, then they'll be safe."

It gives Smitten the role of a protector, someone who controls the situation and wants the best for Quiet, as opposed to the Narrator who has an ulterior motive and clearly just wants to hurt them.

It gives him a sense of control.

So when something goes wrong, it feels like that control is yanked away, and that threatens his and LQ's safety. It takes away his happy ending that he tries so hard to keep.

"We'll get our happy ending, even if it damns each and every person who's ever lived!"

Another thing worth remembering is that the voices and LQ are at least under the impression that they haven't been living for very long. The only experiences they have to go off of, to learn from, are the ones we see in Chapter 1 and then on. To Smitten, the last time things went awry, they died horribly.

So it's no wonder he freaks out and feels like he has to push back for control. And that is also why he sees no problem with killing Quiet's body or even detaching himself from them entirely.

"Don't mind my sacrifice. It's a fair price to pay to give her everything she doesn't know she wants."

He places the responsibility for taking care of everyone on himself. Smitten is firmly under the impression that he "knows better". And he's even proven right a fair amount of times, which only solidifies the idea in his head.

"I told you! There's no life more worth living than that of a true believer!"

"I told you our love was insurmountable!"

But that also means Smitten unintentionally traps himself(and everyone around him) into a box, limiting his potential to just that, a shallow role. And that creates the feeling of inferiority.

His role is all there is to him, so if he can't uphold it, then it means there's something fundamentally wrong with him. It means he's failed.

In fact, Smitten seems to be laser-focused on his own shortcomings, at least when it comes to the Princess.

If She's somehow unhappy with anything Smitten has to offer, then it's not because She did something wrong, or because of some outside factor out of their control(he doesn't want to accept anything being out of his control, even if it would seemingly benefit him). No, it's because Smitten wasn't enough.

He idolizes Her while putting himself down.

"That's because she's perfect!"

It's a bit more complicated with The Long Quiet. On one hand, they are technically one person, but on the other, the voices like to distinguish themselves and seem to have a sense of their own identity.

If we take a look at one of Damsel's third chapters: The Burned Grey, Smitten is very distraught and angry at Quiet, and yet also berates himself at the same time.

"Ah, yes. The mirror. So we can see the monster we've become."

"No, my love! You did nothing wrong! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY, NOT YOU!"

So I think we can assume that it's a mix of both. He may feel angry at LQ but will ultimately blame himself.

Because it's his job to make sure everything went smoothly. It's his job to make sure that She was happy, because if She's happy – they're happy and they just threw all of his work away, but he was supposed to stop them. He was supposed to keep them happy.

He was supposed to keep them happy.

[remus-poopin]

It seems like you somehow manage to have one foot in the marauders fandom and one in the snape fandom and I’m so impressed. How do you do it?

Also, since you get to see both sides of things I’m wondering what you like the most about each fandom?

Ok this is an interesting question! Honestly I think I’m able to do this, and do this enjoyably, because I really try to make an effort to not moralize. This hasn’t always been how I interacted with fiction in the past, so it’s been a tricky process of learning how to do this with consistency. But it is something that I think is very important for me to do, not only because I have a better time in fandom when I'm not moralizing, but also because it inspires a sort of self reflection and allows me to practice empathy in a way that’s feels more analytical than emotional/inherent. And in the case of navigating two fandoms that have a built in tension between them, this becomes especially helpful.

The tension between the snape and marauders fandom almost always comes down to moralizing. The back and forth arguments between fans are usually rooted in the idea that the other character is not only morally flawed, but more morally flawed than theirs. If you look at any anti Snape or anti James post there’s an underlying agenda that’s trying to prove one is worse than the other. This is pretty irritating to me because I find it to be very boring, silly, and just missing the point of the characters and themes. But this is also irritating because I find that it's ineffective in producing any real meaningful analysis on these characters. Because the goal is not to understand that character, but to condemn them.

(This doesn’t mean that I think you shouldn’t examine the behavior of the characters, just that assigning a moral judgment to that behavior outside the world of that character leads to heavily biased analysis (meaning making it personal and about your standard of morality leads to a messy understanding of the character and story))

Going back to the tension between these fandoms, I think when you’re busy trying to prove how shitty a fictional character is you have a hard time separating them from their fans. Because it’s not really about the character anymore it’s about you and your personal feelings and beliefs.

I very frequently run into posts talking about “snape defenders” and “marauders defenders”, like this is some kind of battle where a side needs to be picked, and then picking a side is a reflection of your morality and politics (I’ve seen marauders fans imply that “snape defenders” are fascists or fascist sympathizers and I’ve seen snape fans call marauders fans “class traitors”, all in the last couple days mind you).

I’m going to be honest and say that whenever this pops up it’s gets pretty frustrating, frustrating because it feels like people are just using these characters as avatars for larger discussions they actually want to be having, but because these characters have specific stories, motivations, and complexities it makes this extremely messy (want to vent about the cult of conservatism that's growing all around us? Bring out the Snape Ken doll and talk about how he deserved his bullying (if he even was bullied)! Hate feeling the weight of capitalism on your chest while the class divide grows larger and larger? Call James “bourgeois scum”!)

(Or as @sideprince wisely said, it’s a way to be political without actually engaging in politics)

So yes I find this tiring, but I also really get it. I have done some form of this myself plenty of times. I am not immune to moralizing or having these same type of strong emotional reactions to a fictional character. In fact, I had this very recently when I watched “Girls” for the first time last month. Until maybe this week I felt a strong hatred for the character “Adam”. This hatred came from seeing him do something in a scene that I considered to be morally repugnant. The scene itself was incredibly graphic and triggering to the point where I had to stop watching the show for a couple days. The disgust response firing in my brain made it so I was incapable of viewing his character as anything but a POS, and all the complexities of him were lost because I refused to engage with them. So all his actions after that were viewed with a moral judgement from me. I mean even when he was being funny, sweet, or just interesting I felt incredibly annoyed because I desperately didn’t want to like him. However I was cognizant of the fact that I was having this sort of moral reaction to fiction because this is a show that is defined by its complex, complicated, and realistic characters, who have all done some very questionable things, and yet he was the only character getting this treatment in my head. So feeling frustrated with my own hypocrisy I decided that I needed to start approaching this differently.

So I made a choice to look at his action, the one that I found disgusting, and start breaking it down: Why did he do that? What was it saying about his relation to shame, power, control, violence, sex, gender, etc.? How else has he reacted to those issues in the show? I kept asking those types of questions, on and on, until suddenly I wasn’t just thinking about the disgusting act itself, but the character. The act stopped being about my own feelings and trauma and became about him.

That’s what I do with the marauders and snape, that’s what I strive to do with any fictional character, because to me that’s the most enjoyable way to engage with fiction. And I find that the fun I have in fandom is greatly limited when I’m pissed at a character, because it makes it difficult to interact with others who are their fans. If I see that someone is playing with that character, a little voice would go, “but what about my anger?” followed by a sharp sting. That type of anger, that moral anger, is personal, but this character is public, it lives beyond me and my feelings. My anger is mine, it never belonged to the public.

And I have at some point felt that same type of moral disgust/anger for both the marauders and snape. But I zeroed in on what specific action was making me feel that way, tried to understand why I had that reaction in the first place, and then went back to the action itself and tried to contextualize it within the character and story so it was removed from myself.

That’s how I’ve been helping myself with the moralizing issue. I’ll still have these reactions in the future, I might even have one on here, but I'll keep working on it. Because either way I love all of these characters and I want to continue to be able to exist in both fandoms without having to choose a side, or even lean a certain way. When you're not trying to win the war on which character was the Shittiest™ the pressure turns off and you can just enjoy these multifaceted characters with their many flaws and many strengths.

And as for what I like most about each fandom: I adore the snapedom because I've always felt that the best meta in the entire hp fandom came from there. Honestly the whole reason I love snape so much wasn't because I ever felt particularly identified with him, but because I read a billion incredible metas and analyses about him and truly came to appreciate his complexities.

For the marauders side I think I really enjoy the camaraderie, there are a lot of really sweet and cool people I’ve talked to on here and that's always been a blast!

[oatlystrawberryicecream]

i really hate the came back wrong trope being used to explain why bruce and dick didn’t try to bridge the gap and make it work right away when jason got back because even if it were true and there was some huge unsettling difference stemming solely from the nature of his death and resurrection a family who missed him would welcome him and try to understand and love him anyway

jason was reaching out in his own unhinged way in both utrh and brothers in blood jason is seeking connection and bruce and dick don’t have to be happy about his killings or his role as a crime lord but as a family member they should be curious about what he’s going through and they should meet that with some amount of compassion and nuance given the complexity of his traumas even if they can’t accept some of the actions he has taken

like bare minimum is “holy shit, i’m so glad you aren’t dead!” which isn’t far fetched or unreasonable to want to hear and also isn’t “everything is perfect now, feel free to kill anyone you want, i wont arrest or oppose you i prommy”

bruce and dick both flubbed jason’s return big time and idk what is worse that his family wont acknowledge him as precious and loved or that his heroes have failed to live up to their own ideals and betrayed his worn down faith in them

[queezleish]

The character of Alana Bloom: a not that coheorant ramble :3

I’ve always had a soft spot for Alana since my first watch for Hannibal. I think when I first watched I didn’t really think about her character but now after a view rewatches I’m entirely hooked by her character. Especially on the different ways you can view her when she’s “helping” people.

On the one hand all she wanted to do was help and she tried so hard to do so-- while rewatching season 1/2 u can see just how much she cares, especially as opposed to season 3 where u can see how getting caught up with these ppl and in hannibals life toughened her, turning her into the more ruthless and cold character we end the show with. And it's so tragic. It's SO tragic. This girl wanted to HELP PEOPLE but by the end she's so completely changed, so much that we see her actively seeking out to hurt and or kill different people more than once (to her credit those ppl were also murders but my point stands) .

BUT ON THE OTHER HANDDD

…..... Back in season 1, did she want to help those ppl for them or for herself?

Ive started to look back and view Alana's season 1 actions, specifically towards Will, with distain because It has always read weird to me. And I'm starting to think it's because even from the beginning she's been a very selfish person- I think she did care for Will but I think it can be read as more out of a selfish desire to help/fix/mother someone in a sense

Like that is a grown ass man babe……… idk especially considering the closeness or lack there of between will and Alana I think you can totally read Alana’s actions towards him stemming from a selfish desire to “fix”. (not saying being selfish is bad, sometimes that’s just how it be…(honestly I can make a whole another rant on the selfishness of Alana))

I don’t know if this is a hot take or not but, I feel like the two “sides” I’ve touched upon with her character are what her character gets boiled down to and I’m here to say…. Let’s not????

I understand not liking her for xyz reasons (which is so valid and me too) but I truly believe she’s so complex from a character standpoint and i think we should acknowledge this more as a fandom as opposed to boiling her down to one or two defining moments (this is especially important bc the few women of Hannibal are already given the short end of the stick and not explored upon enough as is…..but that is an entirely different rant)

While rambling about this I'm at the conclusion that maybe Alana Bloom is just a flawed character; she could’ve really wanted to help Will and Jack and with that came along the feelings of fixing/saving. And through this you can see that “fixing/helping" makes her personally feel good and that probably contributes to why she does what she does as well. Even if she doesn’t do it great either-- she definitely showed her subconscious biases and maybe ended up hurting more than helping along the way in her desire to fix/help...but that doesn't mean she never actually cared...i think u can see that she did because why else would she be constantly trying to do good ??? (At least season 1/2)

I mean it's rlly up to personal interpretation- there's a billion ways to read media, but as I was ranting to my friends about some of my gripes with her actions, I realized as I was talking, I was saying too little. I felt like I was misrepresenting. Hence my rambles

UGHHH she can just be read as SUCH a complex character and I really do think it’s an injustice to boil her down to one or two defining characteristics and the way she helps ppl is sosososo interesting to ME!