#No I won’t shut up about this either
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okok last post before I sleep but
Sothis Sees any of her kids (and grandkid) and she’s just “!!!” and rushes over to them like a puppy seeing their human. Say hi, tell them she loves them. Make plans to do something that day if they’re free!!
She really may not remember much of times past but she’s really trying. She needs to reconnect with her babies bc she loves and misses them dearly. And she needs her kids to know that.
1000 years is a lot of time to make up for and she’ll do her best to make up for lost time.
she’s just a single mama trying her best. She’s not perfect but she’s trying. Amnesia just makes it 10x harder.
but she really do, at least, find them morning, noon, and night to check up on them. Daily. No questions asked.
#out of creation;#She’s the Most single mom to ever single mom#Sothis loves her babies so so so much#No I won’t shut up about this either#This is v important#Just like her babies are to her!!!
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ppl hating that darrys a dropout in the musical when pony makes a point in the first 3 mins of the show to say that socs get “graduation days” .. mind you darry won’t get to graduate college after working his whole life for it, soda dropped out of high school and will never graduate even though pony knows soda is smarter than he thinks he is bc greasers don’t get afforded the same luxuries and accommodations socs do to finish school, AND by the end of the story pony’s damn near ready to call it quits on living?? meaning what if he never graduates either??
#the outsiders#outsiders musical#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#curtis brothers#sodapop curtis#sorry but i think it adds like eighteen new layers to darrys character#i will never shut up about this LOL#not even to mention that johnny and dally won’t get to graduate either like#it’s such a big achievement & while darry did graduate high school he WANTED to get out and go to college more than anything#idk i just. yeah
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Woah it’s my yearly AM post!
The second drawing is actually from last summer but I didn’t feel like posting it then I guess
I hope the fandom is more calm next summer so I can post without being flooded with people and my irl friends
#ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#allied mastercomputer#i have no mouth and i must scream#AM#that one 60s book TikTok won’t shut up about#not that I will either lol
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I’ve decided to stan Isles Sebastian Aho because I feel bad for him and as such I will henceforth be referring to him as “Sebastian Aho” and I will be calling Canes Sebastian Aho “Canes Sebastian Aho”.
I need you to hear it the way they say “women’s sports” where it carries the strong implication that the other one is the “real” one.
#this is a joke btw#I only have opinions on either Sebastian Aho when they play each other#or during the playoffs when they won’t shut up about canes Sebastian Aho
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I see a few people getting down on Pear because she didn’t sit at the hospital with Kawi. I don’t think it was a selfish decision on her part, I think she felt some kind of way about Pisaeng being the one to message her about the emergency surgery. She was waiting for a response from Kawi but got Pisaeng.
This is probably the first of many instances throughout their relationship of emotional infidelity on Kawi’s part. Whenever there is an issue, whenever he feels strongly about anything the first person he goes to is Pisaeng. Pisaeng gets every part of him, good and bad. Pear is just an afterthought. A goal that he’s already accomplished. She probably got tired and cut her losses knowing at the end of the day she would never take priority in Kawi’s life.
#be my favorite#I won’t shut up about this show until the give me another episode#they need to either fix Not or leave him forever alone#nobody deserves his bullshit#thai bl
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can i bring this back for a second?
#toronto maple leafs#max domi#never forget#NEVER forget how cunty this look was#max i am on my kne- *gunshot*#y’all already know i’m crazy about him but god. GOD#GOD!#and i won’t shut up about it either#until some of y’all hop on the bandwagon
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My mind has been non-stop thinking about both Thomas Hewitt & Bubba Sawyer! and the fact that I have been reading Wattpad (both x reader) 😍
Anyway, for some damn reason, I’m thinking that both are long lost cousins who don’t know each other.
Okay that’s it.🥰 I should stop talking now (well typing)
#Texas Chainsaw Massacre#Thomas Hewitt#Bubba Sawyer#country/butcher bois#my mind won’t SHUT UP!!! especially about them 😫#I think Wattpad didn’t help either 😫😅#I guess I can’t help myself sometimes😏#TCM#Leatherface#long lost cousins?!#my mind speaking…..#The Sawyer Family#The Hewitt Family
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It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)
But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.
And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.
Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay
#ngl I think the biggest ‘culture shock’ ig about being in fandom is that tagging systems have changed so much or something bc I’m used to#walking in a tag and that’s where you find everything#but now it’s different#things are tagged wayyy differently and it means missing things or setting aside time to go down a list to check every blog#I dunno#I always feel a little weird about main tagging sb stuff now bc I’ll check the tag and it’s like oh? things are slowing down#but it’s like nooo bc of tagging and different lanes entirely I’m just missing stuff#idk what this is I’m just talking but it’s strange#I think I’m bad at fandom and that defeats the purpose of it bc it’s recreational#it’s supposed to be fun.#it’s /supposed/ to be fun#I saw a post the other day of someone that’s in this purely for Jace and having similar feelings of being out of the loop and it got me#thinking bc on some part I’ve contributed to it and I’ve probably clogged tags#but the lizard part of my brain that gets the dopamine boost from getting a note is like if I don’t main tag it won’t be seen#but truly either way I am mostly talking to myself lmao#so yah know? idk it should be fun#idk what this is and idk if I’ll fully ever commit to a different/quieter tagging system#bc tumblr is the place I got to scream and be annoying without being told it’s too much and some how I’ve convinced myself that on my own#blog and fandom spaces I enjoy that I’m just annoying#and I don’t wanna think that#I think I’m tired. like hyperfixation hasn’t died but the part of me that’s hungry for being completely consumed by it is tired#my one fear is that I’ll be so annoying that my fic will finish and no one will care#which isn’t true bc I’ll care until the bitter end lmao#idk I’ve talked so much that I’m like oh I’ve done the thing again I should shut up#also this is too like- self focused way too self focused#which just makes it worse bc then I’m like that’s what got me in this mess#but goddamn there’s just so much shit I’m missing out on and interactions I’d like to have but about things that I’m out of my depths on#so it made fandom a little lonely and a little secular#feeling like a kid on the outs#I want that feeling to die especially about the things I love
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WORK NIGHTMARE INCREASED
NIGHTMARE! NIGHTMARE!
One of my much older cousins works at my job now?? Has been there for months?? Works in the building right next to mine but I never saw her till today??
anyway. I don’t know who told her or HOW she even knows this but she was like “So you’re like gay right? Or is it something else?” We. Are in public. My coworker walked by just a few minutes later. SHE COULD HAVE HEARD THAT. HELLO? SELF AWARENESS? HELLO??
HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW THAT. I NEVER TALK ABOUT IT. I don’t think it’s obvious either. If it was obvious I think women would be more friendly with me
I did not know what to do man I just kinda nervously laughed and told her I don’t like to talk about it and then she’s like “I’m open minded” Yeah ok. Anyway I just was like “we can talk about that some other time” because wtf
She asked so many questions. Interrogated me.
Now she knows that’s where I walk through and there’s no other way for me to go to avoid her.
#I was trying to walk past her so fast but she recognized me anyways fuck my life man#how do I put this nicely. uh. the family. does not like her#in fact we used to rent an apartment she owned and she kicked us out to charge someone else more :#she delayed me getting home by 30 mins. by not shutting tf up#my panic is less about random people hearing it#but now I’m like. oh god my coworker walked past us. who knows what she heard#I live in trump territory bro. people already don’t like me. I don’t need your loud mouth saying stuff like that#it had to have been my mom. my dad would not talk to this lady she’s not even related#but my mom doesn’t like her either so?? how the fuck.#or maybe my mom is talking shit with someone else and then they told her#cause the gay part is like. ok well anyone in the family would maybe realize hey you’ve never had a girlfriend lol#but the ‘or is it something else’ Ok Where Did you get that from#cause that part my mom won’t even acknowledge#SCARY. SCARY.
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i have a bunch of silly lil self indulgent blurbs with kuroo that i kinda wanna post but also … The Horrors™️
#why is it so scary#also are y’all sick of me yet#i feel like i can’t shut up about tetsu or zoro for that matter#and i prob won’t be able to for awhile either#so !!#soz 😋#thinking & thunking ….#might start dropping them for his bday week#so i’m sorry if i spam a lil 😔#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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I really wish there were more (active) Rhea and Seteth blogs on here. Sothis really wants her babies
#out of creation;#I -know- yall are hiding somewhere!!!#There’s more Rhea than seteth I think that I’ve found over the years#fe rp#pls interact with your mama!!!#Let us have the interactions the game wrongly denied us!!!#And no I won’t shut up about this either#Yells into the wbyss
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“Um but having a democrat in charge hasn’t fixed everything” 1) republicans have the majority in the house and senate 2) fuckin reagan’s policies still have a significant impact today, you think one administration can undo trump’s shit in 4 years? 3) if Any lives are saved or significantly improved by having democrats in office it’s worth it. Yeah the fact that a Good Guy can’t get elected and easily change anything is part of why an entirely different system is needed but personally I would like for as many people as possible to be alive to see that happen
I feel like I’m not even allowed to say “yeah I don’t like the guy either” without getting dunked on for being a “lesser of two evils” person or having no moral backbone or whatever but like. Maybe having a moral backbone involves giving more fucks about material reality than symbolic expression of displeasure (with issues that affect others more than you)
#ppl who think voting is cringe and evil won’t do anything else either#it’s fully about not wanting to think about things that hurt other people#like do you even want some other change to happen or do you just want people to shut up#notice I didn’t say ‘people who don’t vote’ as a whole. I’m talking abt people who loudly discourage voting#one thing I will give you people is the ‘hold Biden accountable’ thing is cringe like how do u intend to do that#it’s just. talking about our country’s issues in a way that doesn’t blame him and only him is seen as defending him#multiple things can be true etc#mine#txt
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i’m really not trying to be such a huge bitch about the girl in my group for my production class but like what do you mean you think we need to meet tomorrow to work on our production notebook. we haven’t casted anyone. the production notebook and all the planning stuff literally cannot happen in any way that matters until we have the bare minimum casting and location stuff figured out. which we don’t. what would we even be doing if we met tomorrow. talking about the concept of what we might want a shot to look like. featuring an actor we don’t have in a location we haven’t secured. can we be so for real right now. why is she so hellbent on ruining every monday morning i have. girl i don’t have much more patience to spend on you you’re killing me
#i appreciate that she wants to be thorough and all but she’s being ridiculous#there’s essentially nothing we can do right now until we get casting figured out#also she’s acting like we need to do every piece of the creative process together and it’s like.#ok girl i’m the director why don’t you let me storyboard the story i wrote huh. i’ll handle it come on#another reason i am simply not equipped to be in charge. i do not like to share credit#the other day we were talking to our professor about the script ‘we’ wrote and ‘we’ revised.#and the new title ‘we’ came up with that ‘we’ like better#that shut was literally all me tho is the thing. you two did not do any of that what do you mean WE?????#but i can’t say that.#anyway. time to text her back and say fuck no#well. obviously i won’t say that either. i’ll say some shit like yeah i just don’t think we need to meet because there’s not much we can do#etc etc maybe i’ll throw in an lol or something#fuckin hate this
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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i hope that when tes 6 comes out in 15 years they also include the choosing you pronouns thing so we can filter out the outrage addicted chuds
#I tried seeing what social media has been saying about star/field and it was either incredibly vague mildly positive things#vague complaints or brain dead aaa video game discourse#so I still don’t know what to make of it or whether I want to bother getting it when it inevitably goes on sale#mine#and lord knows if tes 6 is in hammerfell some culture war grifter won’t shut up about it anyway
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I dommed for the first time yesterday and it was heavenly. What do you mean you can paint a pretty boy in hickies and bite marks and scratch up his chest up until he cries, then make him call himself your dumb slut and beg for your pussy over and over?
I fear this will do something dreadful to my brain chemistry…
#oh and I discovered I’m a real genuine sadist too!! I could not get enough of watching him struggle not to safeword tbh#pretty nifty actually <3#and he won’t shut up about it either :3#personal#nsft#queer nsft#bd/sm kink#sadomasochistic#marking nsft#marking kink#degrading k1nk#degradation k1nk#bd/sm sadist
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