#NPD ADJACENT

[exandr0th-0f-viscera]

PwNPD, I'm making a video on why I would argue that the use of the word "narc" in the context of a narcotics officer/someone who would snitch to the cops does not negate the derogatory meaning. However, I wanted to hear what the rest of you had to say on it since I think feedback will help me create a more satisfactory script.

Unless you are someone from the opposition who has a different point than 1. just stating the definition of the word as if I don't understand it or 2. mocking people because "then wouldn't it be pronounced narse?" ...Yeah, I've already heard those 'arguments'. I'm primarily looking for feedback from pwNPD that are of the same opinion as me, but may have different argumentation I didn't think of. Anonymous asks are allowed on my blog, so if you don't want your name attached then I am happy to receive feedback that way.

I DO plan on integrating anything helpful into my video, so I may end up messaging people if there's anything that stands out and may need further discussion privately. I will be sure to give proper credits where it's due.

Other than that, either way you fall in the discourse, feel free to answer the following poll. "Narcissist" includes anyone who identifies as one, whether you have NPD traits, self dx or are clinically diagnosed. I may make a follow-up poll later if I end up feeling there wasn't a good enough variety of options.

[obnebulant-mogai]

NPD adjacent flag! This flag is left vague so one can use it whether they are sure they have NPD, or just display traits, or are questioning. This was made with people who have trouble pinpointing their neurodivergencies in mind and is NOT to be used by transid/transx supporters.

[ID: Three images.

The first image is a flag with ten equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are red black, dark red, brick red, terracotta orange, carrot orange, yellow orange, bright yellow, white, bright lavender blue, and lavender blue. In the center of the flag is the outline of the narcissus flower colored red black. End First ID.

The second image is a flag with nine equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are maroon, red orange, bright orange, bright yellow, pink white, light blue, light purple, flower purple, and plum purple. In the center of the flag is the outline of a narcissus flower colored dark purple. End second ID.

The third image is a flag with ten equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are bright purple, bright magenta, bright red, bright orange, pastel orange, bright yellow, off white, white, pastel green, and tea green. In the center of the flag is the outline of a narcissus flower colored dark indigo purple. End third ID.]

[ID: A divider that consists of a thin white line with three stars on each side. End ID.]

Flags by me, with sampled colors from NPD flags created by @/npdsafe and @/acidkeylime. Requested by @loveasappho. Tagging @npd-archive.

Narcissus outline symbol from the noun project. Link: https://thenounproject.com/icon/narcissus-1276973/

Flags without symbols below the cut:

[ID: A divider that consists of a thin white line with three stars on each side. End ID.]

[ID: Three images.

The first image is a flag with ten equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are red black, dark red, brick red, terracotta orange, carrot orange, yellow orange, bright yellow, white, bright lavender blue, and lavender blue. End first ID.

The second image is a flag with nine equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are maroon, red orange, bright orange, bright yellow, pink white, light blue, light purple, flower purple, and plum purple. End second ID.

The third image is a flag with ten equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are bright purple, bright magenta, bright red, bright orange, pastel orange, bright yellow, off white, white, pastel green, and tea green. End third ID.]

[mydarlingedits]

EXTRA USERBOXES I MADE

Edit: BOOO JUST NOTICED A SPELLING ERROR. Oh well . Might fix it eventually. For now I am lazy ᯓᡣ𐭩

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Requested by 𓇿 no one .ᐟ

        𐙚˙⋆.˚ Date Posted 𓇿 7/11/24 .ᐟ

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Terms of use 𓇿 Free with Credit .ᐟ

[PLAIN TEXT: 'op is an adult' on the top left, and 'No DNI ! Just be nice' on the bottom right].

[solittles]

thinks about dave k's bad take on hickey n his potential personality disorder. gets upset again .

[nekropsii]

Aww. On one hand, I'm glad my words touched you. On the other, it makes me so deeply sad knowing even the smallest glance towards granting one basic human dignity is enough to drive one to tears. I wouldn't even call my words the bare minimum - I don't think that countering the common idea that a group isn't inherently abusive should be the bare minimum. The bare minimum should be casual respect, the same that's afforded to any other person. The bare minimum should be me not even needing to say any of this in the first place.

NPD is so heavily demonized, especially right now. There's wave after wave of people claiming "Narcissistic Abuse" is a valid term and viciously attacking anyone who breathes in the direction of contradiction, every single search adjacent to NPD results in almost nothing but article after article on, specifically, how to hurt people with NPD, or protect yourself against them... There's conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory posted online quite literally painting them as actual real demons, like, Demons, from The Bible, or linking them to the Jewish Reptilian conspiracy theory, and it's just completely and utterly gut-wrenching. Even in spaces that proclaim themselves as safe, or progressive, or bigotry-free, these unjustified, bigoted snap judgments occur. It's the worst.

NPD is not something that I have. I don't have any Cluster B Disorder, actually. But I'm sympathetic because they're all fucking human beings the world has decided is socially acceptable to turn into a Sinister Other, a Walking Otherworldly Threat, like this is a fucking fiction novel or a video game. I'm sick of it.

There's a few people in my immediate circles who have NPD. They're all good people. They're nice, they're funny, they have perspectives on things that I deeply value, they're smart, and I treasure their proximity so much. They've never done anything wrong, and certainly haven't done anything wrong purely on the basis of being some Evil, Conniving Super Villain. They're literally just hanging out, and I'm glad to know them. My life is better and more enriched having known these people. They have never wronged me, and I don't think they ever will. And even if they do, it would not be because they have NPD, it would be because they're a living being. As people, we all have the capability to harm others. Animals have the capability to harm other animals, too. Plants can harm you. This is not a trait unique to the Disordered.

Us people without NPD need to do better, to listen to our friends and siblings with NPD, to help boost them up so that we can help end this wretched fucking curse - or, at the very least, quell it. We need to help them speak louder, and amplify their cause with our vocal support. Ableism will never go away, but the least we can do is try to move towards making it not as socially acceptable to be bigoted. None of us need a Sinister Other to combat. This is not war, this is not the medieval times. We do not need this. We do not need to beat a persecution complex into ourselves to excuse persecuting others. We do not need to live in constant fear of the idea of the line cook who just wants to go home and play Dark Souls, or the office worker passing the time by thinking about their 3 cats, or the high schooler at home reading their favorite shoujo manga, or the guitarist driving home tapping their fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the radio. These are not your enemies. They are people going about their lives. They've literally never hurt you. Stop projecting your fear of abuse onto strangers - onto minorities.

My message to people without NPD is to fucking check yourself if you believe in Narcissistic Abuse, or automatically assume that people with NPD are up to something. Especially right now, that is a very, very vile, dehumanizing form of absolutely rampant ableism that we needed to take extreme steps to mitigate fucking months ago. Years, even. The best time to shoot this bigotry and burn it's corpse was the moment it started rising. The second best time is Now. Interrogate yourself. Realize that people with NPD are literally just human beings. Stop being awful to your fellow person. The way people think and speak about people with NPD is just absolutely disgusting, and everyone needs to apologize to them right now.

My message to people with NPD is simple: You deserve one billion dollars for having to put up with all of this shit. It's actually deranged. Trust me, there are others out there that think this is horseshit. You are not alone.

[winecovered]

　⟢　NPD-ish　𓃉

A flag for one who has narcissistic / NPD adjacent symptoms, but not enough to be considered / warrant being diagnosed with it.

[Plain text start. NPD-ish. A flag for one who has narcissistic/NPD adjacent symptoms, but not enough to be considered/warrant being diagnosed with it .plain text end]

[bloodheartz]

gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is the rot and decay. the hollow pits and stagnant air. the polluted water and the bones buried in adjacent mud. nothing here is alive and yet you can tell there once was. you were once a thriving ecosystem, until they came through with their machines and poisons and infected, infested you. you gave and gave and gave everything for them and in return they destroyed you and all that made you beautiful. they have no idea what they’ve done, and they never will. the empty feeling never really goes away. you hunger for something; not food, but vengeance. retribution for what they put you through. you will eat your fill and then some more and you will still be hungry. it’s not your fault for starving.

- 🥀🐇

.

[npd-polls]

Something I thought of that might be interesting!

I personally am angelkin and I think it is influenced by my npd, so I am curious how it will hold in a poll!

Are you in any way alterhuman-adjacent?

Yes, therian

Yes, otherkin

Yes, fictionkin

Yes, multiple flavours

Yes, a different flavour from those listed

No

Unsure/Questioning

Unsure, I have never heard of alterhumanity

See results/other nuanced answer

Yo, I'm also angelkin!

[exandr0th-0f-viscera]

(THANKS FOR HEIGHTENING MY CONFIDENCE STATS!) (YOU'VE UNLOCKED ADDITIONAL MONOLOGUES ABOUT HOW I AM GOING TO REACH MY APOTHEOSIS AND CHANGE THE WORLD IN AN IRREPARABLY BETTER WAY)

[obnebulant-mogai]

NPD + ASPD adjacent flag!

[plain text: NPD + ASPD adjacent flag! /end plain text]

After months, I am still on the rocks as to whether I have ASPD, or just display traits. Maybe there are some things we are never meant to know /ref /lyr /lh

So, I made this flag for NPD + ASPD and adjacent! It is general so it can be used by anyone who has either traits of NPD or ASPD or the disorders themselves.

[ID: Two images. The first image is a flag with nine equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are dark blood red, berry red, pale brick red, orange, pale yellow, pale grey blue, lavender purple, dark blue, and purple brown. In the center of the flag, there is a white symbol. The symbol consists of an outline of a narcissus flower with the upside down scale ASPD symbol inside. The second image is a flag identical to the first, but lacking the symbol. End ID.]

Flag by me. Colors sampled from the NPD and ASPD awareness flags. Narcissus outline taken from The Noun Project.

Tagging @mad-pride.

Below the cut, I have included the transparent symbol, as well as CMYK versions of the flags! (If you(&) don't know what that means, it's basically the version of the flag in the colors that a printer would output.)

[ID: A white symbol. The symbol consists of an outline of a narcissus flower with the upside down scale ASPD symbol inside. End ID.]

[ID: Two images. Each image corresponds to one of the flags above. They are extremely similar, but there are slight differences in hue and saturation of some of the colors. End ID.]

[gyaruogutz]

Mirin’s Introduction ::

BYF Information is under the cut , please check the tags before reading !

If you don’t like this sort of thing, block me and move on. Any hateful messages will be shamelessly used to promote my own sexual deviance & I will happily remake this blog again.

general information…

I am relatively radqueer-adjacent, my beliefs may even go past most of those held by the main community, but labels are hard to keep track of for me. In an ideal world I’d even be a XS; who knows.

I am ethnically and ancestrally roma, jewish, and scandinavian. I am nationally American ( soon to change. ) I also hope to change my race eventually.

I am a transgender transvestite, and I use he/she/it/faer pronouns. My age fluctuates from a pre-teen to a young adult due to DID.

I am prone to harming others, and have been harmed by others. I am autistic, schizo-spec, a polyfrag DID system and score very high on markers for NPD and ASPD. I am a victim of RAMCOA.

I have quite a few internal and an increasing amount of external physical disabilities, which I won’t list here for both my identity safety and for the safety of my poor typing fingers.

additional information…

-we are an abrahamic-centric practitioner with specialities in divination and manifestation/reality manipulation. We also dabble in the craft and have since childhood.

- We have a pact with a goddess that was made for us when we were young, and we TRY to remember to spend time in order uphold that end of the bargain. She’s quite patient with us.

- I have a beautiful wonderful amazing partner, the light of my life, who I will not be tagging, since Ive opened some of my interactions up to antis.

I have NO OTHER partners and I’m not planning on changing this. If you try, I will find you.

blog information…

Asks are under “#rina’s asks”, additional radqueer & mogai ids are under “#rina’s hoard”.

Anons are on, but expect any hate you send to be publicly used as fuel for sexual fantasies.

Looking for something that hits a little harder? My NSFT account is @auruminsanity .

[mobblespsycho100]

random list of traits of characters i usually enjoy

business-adjacent (small business owner, scammer, gambler, debt collector etc... usually big fan of con artists though)

tragic backstory (not necessary but something related to childhood isolation)

tragic/doomed/bittersweet/complicated sibling relationships. has some kind of inferiority complex or codependent with their sibling

subscribes to the hater lifestyle

prideful and arrogant/confident in their abilities

usually misunderstood by the fandom

blue and orange or gray morality

the hero/protagonist™ (bonus if they have a martyr/saviour complex and love self-sacrifice)

would make a great villain but has morals so theyre just a mediocre hero (thanks Red OSP for describing erin like this)

pathetic wet cat . or just. catlike behaviourisms in general

contains multitudes

nerds 🤓😎 of the "um akshually" variety

oooh mysterious ... ooooh

silly goofy 😋‼️

autism or npd coded ... (bonus points if both) (extra bonus if they're some other flavor of neurodivergence)

has the color red as a prominent feature of their character design

blond...

[rwuffles]

⟡   ᴗ   stances.

pt: stances. end pt.

neutral on endogenic systems / syscourse as a whole — our stance leans to the anti side, though

pro-para & anti-contact harmful paras

pro-mental health ( including people with personality disorders, who experience delusions, paraphiles, intrusive thoughts & any other "unpalatable" symptoms / disorders )

anti-harrassment

anti-radqueer & pro-harmless transids

pro-transracial, transage, transabled & transspecies in their original definitions

rad-inclu / pro-good faith identities

⟡   ᴗ   before you follow.

  we struggle with empathy, sympathy & compassion as a whole. unless you know us personally, we might come off as a little blunt or cold; we generally dislike meeting new people. i'm also bad at social cues, experience memory issues & an inconsistent identity due to our systemhood.

  mental health frequently gets in the way of answering asks. please don't assume it got eaten, i might just be working up the energy to respond — especially if you've asked for a flag template.

  we're self-dxed with: npd, avpd, ocpd, autism, adhd, bipolar 2, and either osdd or p-did ( we're unsure )

  i interact with people of differing stances. i don't care about other people's discourse stances unless it's actively harmful — if they want me to not interact, please tell me directly.

⟡   ᴗ   do not interact.

radqueers & radqueer-adjacents

pro-contact harmful paras & anti-paras

believe in "narc abuse" or that people with a specific disorder are inherently evil / cruel / abusers in any way

anti-good faith / contradictory identities

transandrophobia deniers, tme / tma users

supporters or friends of gloomylace / maidetta, engagekiss and / or cluvunies

are here to bring discourse or argue with me

i block freely! watch out!

[hillbillyoracle]

For the longest time I’ve been thinking these thoughts as well that I don’t think the Ace label fits me completely. It’s not completely wrong but it’s not the whole picture. Before I came to this same understanding I made the decision to not have children or get married. Now that I’m coming to terms with the fact that I actually have low energy I’m still not sure how life will look. I was starting to think that I was non commital and that my ideal relationship would just be a long term partner. I don’t think I have the energy for « society’s relationship expectations » and I don’t feel like bothering other people because I already know they don’t want to deal with me. What are some of your long term relationships tips? It’s either that or I stay single forever which is an idea that’s I’ve always considered as an option. One of the things with being Ace is that when you don’t just follow the script that’s when your the villain. Any other time our sexuality is convient for the system so it’s fine but the minute it starts disrupting their program suddenly what was once admirable is now disdained. Can we briefly mention what sexual power looks like when your this sexuality. I’m super self conscious about how I dress because I know I can’t event express my sexuality the way I want to because people might get the wrong impression. I’m not looking for anything I’m expressing myself because with the little energy I have left I use for creativity. I don’t have a problem with people doing things to signal sexual willingness my problem is the violence in our society when someone finds you hot and you don’t want to « put out » That’s not even getting into the mind games that the genders are playing with each other just the idea of it makes me not want to date. I’m tired just thinking about it. I’m really starting to imagine my life as the village witch living in the forest far from the villagers.

I also don't know that Ace/Aro really fits me but whatever I'm experiencing is at least Ace/Aro adjacent because there's a major overlap in experiences - getting frustrated with compulsory sexuality/romance, chaffing against society being organized around romantic and sexual coupling, simply not having impulses that my friends and family do. I made the decision very young that I didn't want to get married. I wanted to care for children but I didn't necessarily want to physically have any. So I knew from a pretty young age I was going a different route - in those ways I really relate to a lot of aceness.

However, I'm hearing from so many people that dating has become exhausting. And it's substantially more of a sentiment than it was say 10 years ago. Research backs this up - fewer people are dating and having sex. The younger you are, the more pronounced this is. So clearly there's also been a cultural shift in and around dating that's made it unsustainable for a lot of people as well. I'm sure that's also shaping my desire too.

So it's difficult to parse for me.

I think I have very little in the way of advice for long term relationships for a few reasons.

One, while I've been with my partner for seven years, it's been a tumultuous relationship. She was originally diagnosed with BPD and more recently was diagnosed with NPD. While I care about her a whole lot, she's not exactly emotionally available and it's taken years of painstaking effort on my part to establish norms and guide us toward a point of relative stability in our home life. Even if therapy and treatment eventually lead to her being more available, the likelihood of other aspects of a typical relationship (sexual desire, level of romantic reciprocity, etc) lining up seem low.

"Then leave!" I always hear.

No. Because on some level this works. We both are polyam/relationship anarchists who value our friendships very highly and build parts of our lives around them. We have similar preferences in how home and finances should be maintained. She has few preferences in areas I have many and vice versa. She's very good at things I suck at (bureaucracy, paying bills, speaking with officials, etc) and I'm good at things she sucks at (meal planning, ordering and organizing inventory, maintaining a social calendar, etc). While she's far from perfect, she's the most functional and helpful roommate I've ever had. I simply cannot afford to live on my own and neither could she.

So I feel like I have little to offer in the way of long term relationship advice other than don't be afraid to establish relationship norms that aren't common in other relationships. If the other person is on board, you're not harming any one. I know of no one who's been living with someone for 5+ years who has stuck 100% to the classic romantic formula for success.

My parents have been together for 30+ years and have always maintained a high degree of autonomy and alone time - even with my mom's stroke leaving her paralyzed on her right side several years ago. I have a friend who's lived separately in the same town from her long term partner of multiple years and they're both quite happy with that arrangement. I think often of the research lead I worked under who lived in a completely different city than her husband for 10+ years. They visited each other's spaces most weekends but not all.

A lot of things people swear are innately part of a relationship are really optional. The base model is respect and mutual appreciation, everything else is an upsell. Take it or leave it.

Per dressing to express - I think miscommunication is just always going to happen. People act according to their lenses and there's no way to completely circumvent that. And yeah, they're hellishly rude and can even be dangerous about that but there's no way to be totally free of it since it's so far outside of ones own control.

I have found no way to accurately communicate my sexuality/preferences through my appearance with any reliability. My classic example of this for me is that it seems like no matter how I dress, people on dating apps assume I'm a top/dom/pleasure centered. Even when I included a picture of me in self bondage and explicitly listed my preferences on one more open minded app - only seemed to get interest from bottoms/subs/pleasure centered folks. Many of whom didn't bother to ask they were so certain - just based on my look. I've just come away from those experiences pretty convinced that people see what they want to see regardless of how hard you try to communicate yourself.

So fuck em. As frustrating as it all is there's really only one path I've found - do what you want (as long as you're not hurting anyone.)

Cause like what the fuck else is there to do?

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD adjacent culture is GOD I'm lonely... I wish that admiration could fill this hole inside of me, but it doesn't fix the fact I have yet to talk to someone that's made me feel like I was on the same level as them. - 💫 viscera

.