#NOT MY ART GO FOLLOW MAG

[kafus]

@magnificentmicrowave OKAY

LOOK AT MY FRIEND'S LIKODOT DOODLE RIIIGHT NOW

[nastygoblincrimes]

Butch and Femme-bot

A sleek state of the art assault synth finds herself wildly attracted to a beat up mining robot that despite its civilian applications ends up being far more formidable than she ever anticipated. CW for violence (against organics) and digital interfacing/mature content.

The C series of combat assault synths were designed to be the best at what they did. Small and mobile enough for ship-to-ship boarding, with state of the art flechette rounds meant for tearing flesh to bloody bits without the risk of a hull breach. Their sleek designs had been pasted on the front pages of tech sites for months leading up to their release, with whole articles dedicated to their range of takedown techniques and hacking subroutines.

In short, CAS-C was the best. She carried herself with the air of a non-person who knew she was worth more than her maintenance engineer could earn in eight lifetimes as she strode confidently down to the torpedo bay. As she entered, one of the artillerymen looked up from the pod he was prepping and bowed his head respectfully.

“Alright Cassie, ready to go to work?”

CAS-C manipulated her hands into a thumbs-up gesture and climbed inside the pod.

“Damn right I am,” she said smugly as she crossed her arms so the pod could close. “I love my job.”

The soldier chuckled as he sealed her in, then loaded the pod into the kinetic launcher that would send her at speed into the asteroid mining station they'd been sent to clear out from an infestation of space pirates. The airtight pod muted the sounds from outside, but her internal clock was more than sufficient to follow the countdown until with a percussive boom like the roar of some ancient earth cannon her pod was launched at a speed that would scorch ozone if they'd been in atmosphere.

Instead she stared out through the transparent aluminum window at the black void of space for all of eighteen seconds. Then there was a shuddering impact as her pod struck a metallic structure with enough force to embed itself in the steel walls of the mining facility she'd been dispatched to clear out.

Kicking the pod open, she emerged like a titanium and ceramic hornet, engaging the mag-locks built into her feet in order to anchor herself to the manmade structure. Readying her flechette launcher, she stalked along the outer hull to the airlocked entrance, and jacked in. The security was laughable and it took less than a few seconds before the sliding door opened and she slipped into the decompression chamber. While she couldn't have cared less about whether there was oxygen on the other side, the inner door wouldn't open until the outer door was fully closed, so she took the time to brace herself. She had a pretty good idea of what to expect next.

As soon as the seal on the inner door peeled open, she was greeted by blaster fire. Bolts of heated plasma struck her armored plating and discharged their energy harmlessly as she strode forward and started shooting, turning pirates into clouds of red mist and soggy chunks left and right. She wasn't programmed to feel sadism, but there was a certain sense of satisfaction that arose from efficiently doing her job as she advanced down the steel corridor, now painted with the sticky remains of her targets.

Once the steel corridors gave way to excavated stone passages however, she began to pick up some comm chatter on her receivers.

“Are you fucking insane? You're gonna get us all killed!” “Dude, have you been listening? We're fucking dead meat if we DON'T do something, it's gonna be here any second now! Disable the FUCKING safety protocols or I'll shoot you myself!”

How cute, the meatbags were preparing a surprise party for her.

The signals were coming from a side shaft sealed off with a blast barrier. This one wasn't even secured, so it opened as soon as she plugged in.

Then she nearly got the entire upper half of her body disintegrated as a mining laser shot a beam of concentrated photons as thick as her wrist just narrowly missing her.

As the beam slammed into the stone wall behind her, the resulting explosion of superheated rocks slammed into her back, almost knocking CAS-C off her feet as she found herself looking at a mining robot the size of a goddamn excavator that had just come this close to offlining her. Just what the hell kind of power source did that hulking relic have anyway? She swiftly dispatched the two pirates with as many shots from her flechette launcher then hurriedly shut the blast barrier again. The thing had presumably been designed to protect miners from wayward shards of half-molten asteroid, so HOPEFULLY that would be enough to buy her some time as she tried to hack the other robot remotely.

“Come on, come on, come on,” she murmured to herself as she pierced the firewalls and searched for whatever code the pirates had used to hijack the mining rig, realizing distantly that she was actually anxious.

Just as she finally located what looked like the virus, the blast barrier she was hiding behind suddenly got ripped out of the solid rock by a massive steel claw.

“FUCK!”

Before she could react, the mining bot's claw wrapped around her torso and picked her up off the ground like it was nothing. CAS-C's ceramic armor shattered almost instantly, and her internal frame started to creak alarmingly until in a desperate race against time she managed to quarantine the malicious code.

“Oh mah gosh, I am so sorry darlin'.”

CAS-C froze, then stared incredulously as the intimidating bot that had almost killed her spoke in a sweet voice and set her down gently.

“I don't know what came over me,” it continued as CAS-C ran an internal diagnostic on the damage she'd just received. Nothing that couldn't be fixed, but someone was gonna be stuck with one hell of a bill. Almost made her glad she was considered property just so she wouldn't be the one who had to pay it.

“By the authority of the United Confederation of Planets, you are hereby impounded pending further investigation,” CAS-C vocalized with an electronic stutter. Damn, her voicebox must have gotten crushed a little too.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” the mining bot replied bashfully. “No worries darlin', I'll come quietly.”

“Jesus Cass, you let a bunch of indolent pirates do THIS to you?”

The ship's maintenance engineer was a blond man by the name of Reggie, who sported a really, REALLY hideous goatee, but was otherwise a decent sort.

“They had a mining bot,” CAS-C replied defensively.

“A mining bot did this?” the man said incredulously. “I've seen you rapid destructively disassemble a B series with your bare hands.”

“It was really big,” CAS-C declared hotly.

“Fine, fine, if you say so,” Reggie said teasingly. “Heard it was brought aboard, so I suppose I'll be examining it at some point myself. Now hold still, gotta unfasten your armor plates before I can diagnose the rest of your damage.”

Fortunately the cruiser had enough spare parts in storage that Reggie had been able to fix her up without having to pull into a spaceport to resupply. Afterwards CAS-C went down to the cargo bay to take a better look at the impounded mining rig.

It was a lot less humanoid than she was, didn't even have a faceplate. Blocky and industrial, with construction yellow paint that was flaking off in places. Its heavy plating was pockmarked by minor dents left by not so minor rock impacts, and the design was the kind they didn't even make anymore but kept in circulation because the things had been built to last.

“You awake?” CAS-C asked.

The bulwark of metal stirred and one of its headlights turned on.

“Sure am darlin', how can I help ya?”

CAS-C emitted an electronic note that was her equivalent of a sigh and plopped down.

“Thought you'd like to know you just cost the Navy about seven million credits.”

“I am mighty sorry about that,” the bot replied in a voice so earnest that CAS-C couldn't help but feel like it meant it. She beeped again.

“Got a name?”

“The boys called me Big Gerta, but you can call me Gertie,” the mining bot answered amiably.

“Gertie,” CAS-C repeated, committing the name to memory. “I have to admit, you kinda caught me off guard earlier. Wasn't expecting a century old model to pack such a whallop. What have you got under the hood anyway?”

“Thorium reactor,” Gertie replied proudly, thumping its chassis with its claw. “Most of that's just for the laser though, a lot of the moving parts comes down to simple hydraulics. You know what they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it.”

CAS-C winced at the word 'broke' and patted the new ceramic plates she'd just had installed.

“My manufacturer would argue otherwise, but in light of recent events I may have to concede your point.”

CAS-C came by several times in the following week to keep the mining bot company. There was quite a heated legal dispute going on between the Navy and the mining company over who was liable for what damages, and until THAT was settled Gertie wasn't going anywhere. That said, CAS-C found herself quite liking the bot despite the circumstances of their first meeting.

One evening, as they passed a bootlegged spike loaded with a mildly intoxicating piece of malware back and forth, the assault synth admitted “Remember when you picked me up off the floor? That was pretty hot.”

Gertie chuckled as it reached to take the spike from CAS-C and give itself another hit.

“Ya like my hydraulics, huh? If you ask real nice I might do it again. Gentle like.”

CAS-C froze a moment, processor working overtime as she replayed that sound clip and considered the implications.

“Would you?” she asked in a small voice.

Gertie glanced over with the spike halfway to its port, then set it down on a nearby crate and leaned over. CAS-C felt a thrill run through her frame as that formidable claw encircled her waist, and gingerly picked her up as though she weighed no more than a can of grease.

“Hehe, you're really strong,” the assault synth giggled, a little loopy from the spike they'd been sharing.

“And you're real purty,” Gertie said softly.

CAS-C increased the resolution of her optics to better appreciate the massive bot holding her up. She'd long since stopped seeing Gertie as an obsolete model, a bucket of rusting bolts. As she examined her every dent and scratch now, she saw a pillar of strength and endurance, whose weathered exterior only made her more distinguished.

“Stars I want to interface with you,” she blurted out without thinking before clapping her hands over her voicebox. Thankfully, Gertie didn't seem to take offense.

“Hell, I'm up for it if you are,” the bot replied with a playful lilt to its southern drawl. “You ain't gonna get in trouble for it are you?”

“Only if I get caught, and I won't,” CAS-C said eagerly. “I figured out how to falsify my cache ages ago. Let's do it, please?”

She wasn't usually this forward, but the piece of malware they'd been sharing had her circuits buzzing and the mining rig she'd developed a crush on looked like an angel with the digital artifacting afflicting her optics.

Gertie brought her in close, pressing the smaller synth up against its chassis as it opened up its access port. CAS-C opened up the panel on her wrist as her jack emerged. She pulled out enough of the tether to have some slack in the line, then plugged into Gertie's port.

“I'm in,” CAS-C said with wonder as she injected herself into Gertie's systems. The bot's code was simple, but elegantly so. “You're beautiful!”

“Ain't so bad lookin' yourself,” Gertie replied with a chuckle. “I love a gal with some padding on her,” it said as its code intermingled with CAS-C's own dense and lengthy internal scripting. They pooled and intermingled in a sea of virtual kisses and caresses, while in physical space their respective frames started venting heavily to disperse the heat building in their CPUs. As more and more of each others code intermingled, the need for spoken words broke down, sending raw impulses of thought and emotion back and forth until the only noises either of them were emitting from their speakers was inarticulate beeps and tones.

They were so lost in each other in fact, that neither of them noticed when they were no longer alone until Reggie cleared his throat to get their attention. CAS-C squeaked in alarm and tried to pull herself off of the mining bot she'd been making out sloppy style with, but with the jack still plugged in and the tether obviously connecting them like a string of spit, it was blatantly obvious what they'd just been doing. Reggie however just held his hands up reassuringly.

“Look, I don't give a fuck what you two get up to when the officers ain't watching, but I need this back,” he said, picking up the spike CAS-C had pilfered from his workshop earlier.

“Next time just ASK before taking my things. Fuckin' hornbot,” he muttered before walking off.

CAS-C and Gertie exchanged sheepish glances, and CAS-C eventually broke the silence.

“Guess the moment's over?” she asked timorously.

“I can keep going,” Gertie said in all seriousness.

They stared at each other in silence, then resumed the business of furiously making out.

[magpizza]

Mag’s Sapphic Book Recs Part 2

Part 1

I read more sapphic books in 2024 so here are more books to check out! Note: these are not necessarily books that came out in 2024, just books I read last year.

ADULT

Can we start off light with some romance? -Bachelorette Number 12 by Jae - A really sweet and fun book, about two medical professionals who don't get along having to go on dates due to a charity bid snafu. The banter was really fun, and as they get to know each other, it turned super sweet. -Lavash at First Sight by Taleen Voskuni - Two women get to know and develop feelings for each other despite their family's rivalry, all set during a food packaging conference. Really sweet and made me very hungry. -Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stetz-Waters - Two strangers inherit a sex toy shop, which forces them to work together and get to know each other. A good amount of fun sexiness but also great emotions and sweetness! -Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd - Two teachers clash but then work together on the school play and develop a relationship. The humor in this book is wonderful, as are all the little reveals about the characters and their history as the story goes along. One of the most entertaining reading styles, so much heart and humor. -Looking for a Sign by Susie Dumond - A sweet and spicy story about a woman determined to date someone from each astrological sign. Some of the dates go well, some go disastrously, and all throughout you root for her to find someone who will be her match! -Outdrawn by Deanna Grey - Set at a comic company, two rivals attempt to work together to reboot a cult classic comic. I loved the peek into artist life and how the two clash and get together. While a novel, the book had some really fun art and sketches throughout!

How about romance but make it a little sad? -Here We Go Again by Alison Chochrun - Two childhood friends-turned-rivals who then had a falling out are roped into a cross-country road trip with their dying English teacher. A standout book about love, adventure, and loss. Get your tissues ready. -Forgetting With You by Robin Clairvaux - After an unlikely one-night-stand, two women find themselves still pulled together, and help each other through loss and life issues. Really sweet overall.

I know it's January but I'm still in the mood for some holiday romances! -I'll Be Gone for Christmas by Georgia K. Boone - swapping houses for the holidays is already tricky, but with the complicated dynamics of the lives they leave behind, this one gets deliciously messy at times! -It's a Fabulous Life by Kelly Farmer - an adaptation of the Christmas classic film It's a Beautiful Life, but the angels are drag queens with special powers! That alone caught my attention, but then the characters and lovely town kept me glued to the story. -Season of Love by Helena Greer - Your classic "woman inherits a Christmas tree farm and now she has to decide if she wants to save it from going under" story but with a fun twist: she's Jewish and gay! A really sweet romance.

Got anything way spicier? -The Black Diamond series by Anna Stone - this three-book series follows each sister in the Black family as they get down and sexy but also find love. The connected story through all three volumes was also very interesting with some fun twists along the way. -Triple Sec by TJ Alexander - a bartender is wooed by a polyamorous couple. I love a sexy book but I especially love a sexy book with a lot of warmth and heart to it and this one definitely had that! -One Weekend in Aspen by Jamie Clevenger - an amazingly heartfelt and emotional story about a lesbian weekend sex party in Aspen, and how two women meet and fall in love during it. -Dragon Queens by Kathleen de Plume - this one is a fantasy but has so much spice I wanted to include it here. A princess flees to avoid her marriage and is captured by a bounty hunter, but the two make a deal to pretend to be involved so the princess' betrothed won't want to go through with the marriage.

Romance is fun, but how about something more based in history? -Cantoras by Caro de Robertis - This book is one of my top reads for 2024, it was incredibly emotional, about five queer women who meet during the Uruguayan regime and find refuge and solace in each other and in a quiet beach cottage they decide to claim as their own. -The Ballad of Jacquotte Delahaye by Briony Cameron - queer pirate adventures on the high seas, this book filled that Our Flag Means Death hole in my heart with its sweet found family and daring action. -The Duke's Sister And I by Emma-Claire Sunday - a period drama where the main female character falls for her male suitor's sister. The characters are lovely and the story has a slow, cozy pace.

Can we get into some fantasy now? -The Alamaxa Duology by Hadeer Elsbai - I loved both books in this series. Really interesting society, elemental-based magic system, and two women fighting against misogynistic laws. Loved so many of these characters and found myself surprisingly emotional when something happened to them. -A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland - There's nothing like a selkie story and this one was so sweet and a bit heartbreaking. Loved it dearly. -The Order by TJ O'Shae - A young woman is kidnapped by an assassin rebel, part of a group trying to topple her father's regime. This book is a slow, winding burn. Really well-developed characters with complicated backstories and motivations. -Three Women in Paradise by Victoria Avila - A story inspired by Dante's Inferno, with many references to other classic art. Another favorite read for 2024. Loved this absolutely bizarre story that tore me apart and put me back together again. The writing really pulled me in. -Faebound by Saara El-Arifi - Two elven sisters have to leave the Elf Court and find themselves in an unknown wilderness where they encounter the Fae court. There's magical creatures, special bonds, and falling in love with the wrong people, it's got it all! Excited for the sequel coming out soon. -This Will Be Fun by E. B. Asher - The title says it all, it was fun! A group of adventurers already saved the world and broke apart due to the strain and trauma afterwards, but now have to come back together for one more important mission. -The Phoenix Keeper by S. A. MacLean - I love a story around animals, and this one takes place in a zoo for magical and mythical creatures! The main character and her love interest are rivals but as they came to understand each other, their relationship became very sweet. -Road to Ruin by Hana Lee - this book has three POV characters and I loved every single one of them. There's such a sweet way each one of them is described and how they connect and move throughout this very original world. The ending broke my heart a bit and I hope the sequel will fix it! -A Dark and Drowning Tide by Allison Saft - While on an expedition to find a fabled spring that promises untold power, two academic rivals must team up together to solve their mentor's murder! Can you tell I love people who hate each other teaming up? Cause I dooooo.

Enough magic, anything more sciency? -No Shelter But the Stars by Virginia Black - Two women from opposite sides of an intergalactic conflict become stranded on the same strange alien planet and have to work together to survive. An absolutely gripping journey. -Afterparty by Daryl Gregory - This book was amazing. A drug is making people believe they can see god with dangerous outcomes. A woman has to delve back into her past to find out who's released the drug and for what purpose. Gregory writes with surgical precision.

Now can you scare my socks off? -Please Stop Trying to Leave Me by Alana Saab - okay, not technically a horror book, but one that filled me with a lot of dread and fear just due to its subject matter. The main character deals with a lot of mental and emotional issues, things like that god sends her signs through instagram or that she needs to breakup with her girlfriend to finish writing her manuscript. The book takes a turn I wasn't expecting and I found it very touching by the end. -We Used to Live Here by Marcus Kliewer - A couple just moved into a new home they intend to flip and a family claiming to have lived there before asks if they can come inside to see the house again. Reads like a creepypasta in the best way. This book kept me on my toes. -Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell - A shapeshifting monster finds herself falling for a human woman and wanting to implant her with her eggs, but that would kill her. What's a shapeshifting monster to do? This book is surprisingly sweet and romantic despite that description. And it explores themes like who are the real monsters. -The Girl With All the Gifts by Mike Carey - Unlike most of the books on this list, this book doesn't have a sapphic relationship, but the main character is sapphic. A very unique take on the usual zombie apocalypse story

I want to read something with lots of art! -Crowded written by Christopher Sebela, with art by Triona Farrell, Ro Stein, and Ted Brandt - this three-book series is an absolute, fun, action-filled adventure. This world has a hit-man crowdfunding website and a woman has a hit put out on her that gets so many contributions she has the whole country after her! She has to hire a bodyguard and both their lives go to shit from there. -A Thing Called Truth written by Iolanda Zanfardin with art by Elisa Romboli - A workaholic scientist and a woman who fears nothing end up on a road trip where they re-enact scenes from movies. It's a story of self-discovery, and dealing with change and loss. They just had a successful Kickstarter for the second book to end the series!

YOUNG ADULT

Phew, okay I'm ready for some sweet romances again! -The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth - Two young teens agree to a no-strings-attached summer of dates that imitate a romance movie's usual "falling in love montage." But of course, you can't have the montage without the falling in love part! A very sweet romance. -Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan - I love stories set in theme parks and this one did not disappoint! A young girl wants to get the boy she likes to fall in love with her and break up with his perfect gf, and save the park from closing down. Much of it doesn't go as she expects. ;) -If You Still Recognize Me by Cynthia So - Two old friends connect after a long time and find themselves feeling as if they had never left. A surprisingly complex story about friendship, lost love, and reconnection. -Wish You Weren't Here by Erin Baldwin - Two girls who can't stand each other also can't avoid each other in their small town and friend groups. Generally, they avoid each other but somehow get put into the same cabin at their sleepaway camp. From there, they get to grow a better understanding of each other!

Alright I'm ready for more of a thriller vibe! -The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe - This book was a fun thrill ride all the way through! Three friends dealing with some secrets coming out amongst each other find themselves caught up in a bank robbery. The main character has a complicated history that makes her uniquely equipped to deal with this dangerous situation. I also include the sequel, The Girl In Question in this rec!

Some escapism please, now back to fantasy! -The Invocations by Krystal Sutherland - three girls go after one supernatural killer. This book has such great structure and pacing. I loved how the three girls have very different goals and reasons that all align towards the same objective. Loved the writing and it stuck with me even after finishing. -The Misadventures of an Amateur Naturalist by Ceinwen Langley - one of the most original retellings of Beauty and the Beast! Loved all the changes and the way the author really made this classic story their own -This Ravenous Fate by Hayley Dennings - New take on vampires set in the backdrop of Jazz Age Harlem? Sign me the fuck up. Also, this has problematic past-best friends who are now enemies who now have to work together which is deeeelicious.

Now let's get into some science fiction! -Monstersona by Chloe Spencer - Two girls escape their small town after a vicious large monster attack leaves it all burnt down. I don't want to say too much more because the fun mysteries and surprises this story weaves are better discovered by reading it!

Now can you scare me but just a little bit? -I Will Never Leave You by Kara A. Kennedy - This book deals with a very toxic and controlling relationship, one that continues even after death. It touched on a very real and difficult topic in a great way that only horror could really pull off. I felt so much for the protagonist as she struggled to figure herself out through this relationship. -The Blonde Dies First by Joelle Wellington - This book had a great combination of mystery and thriller along with horror. It deals with evil spirits along with teen horror movie tropes in really interesting and original ways. All the characters were very engaging and their relationships were very complex, especially the sisters' relationship.

Let's get into some stories with lots of pictures again! -Sunhead by Alex Assan - There was such a sweetness to this graphic novel, about a girl feeling like she's pulling away from her friends but then makes a new friend who she feels oddly close to, as more feelings start to develop. -Bunt! Striking Out on Financial Aid by Ngozi Ukazu and Mad Rupert - Really great art style but also such a fun ensemble of characters all dealing with very relatable money problems. The story hooked me and the characters kept me thinking about them long after I had finished!

[thisisourlovestory]

Safe and Sound

Finnick Odair x reader soulmate AU

Summary: you are a victor from district 4. The Quarter Quell has just been announced. How will you cope with the turn of events coming your way.

Word count- 2.8k

Notes: Happy New Year! Hope you enjoy this one. My phone deleted half of it so I had to rewrite it but that worked in my favour and I think it’s better than it was

Chapter 3

The next morning I was awoken by knocking at my door. Assuming it to be Lysander I ignored it and took my sweet time getting ready, taking a long shower under burning water, brushing my teeth vigorously, loosely clipping back the front strands of my hair and slipping on a pale blue dress from the wardrobe in the wall before making my way to the dining area. I followed the smell of freshly cooked bacon and pancakes, my mouth watering as I sat down and took a few pancakes, stacking them up, cutting a slab of butter that melted as soon as I dropped it on top, drizzling sticky sweet syrup over them and layering bacon on top. I grabbed a fork and dug into my towering pillar of food, the salty bacon contrasting with the sugary syrup. I polished it off in no time at all and reached for the piles of jewel like fruits, stacked in tiny ceramic bowls in the centre of the table. I had just bit into a slice of watermelon, pink juice dripping down the corner of my mouth, when Mags walked in with Lysander who flaunted a garish purple and gold striped suit and he began to speak as loudly as ever as I quickly wiped my chin.

“Good morning!” My head hit the table.

“Goodness Y/N, did you not get enough sleep last night?” He asked, looking at me with slight concern.

“I'm fine thank you for asking,” I answered, “Just woke up a bit too early.” I rubbed my head, smiling sheepishly and his gaze softened.

“That simply won't do!” He exclaimed, “We need you to be on top form for when you’re in the arena.”

“Lysander.” I called out softly, interrupting what was sure to be a long tirade. “I… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for my outburst yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking. I suppose, well I suppose I was just a little overwhelmed by all this. I hope you can forgive me. “ I twisted a strand of my hair in my fingers and he took the bait immediately. I could almost see what he was thinking. Such a kind girl, she must be terrified, very sweet of her to apologise. His eyes gained a look of sympathy as he raised a hand to his heart and walked over to me.

“It's quite alright dear, no need for apologies. I completely understand you must be feeling absolutely terrified of all this. You did such a kind thing volunteering for Miss Cresta, so selfless, dear and I’m sure she appreciates it very much.” I nodded, going back to my food, and he clapped. “Now that's all sorted out, we need a plan for you.” He looked me up and down, assessing me as Mags grinned into her bowl at the look on my face. “I'm thinking we play the innocent card, the fact you were so young when you won will help with that a lot. You are one of the youngest in the games this year after all. We simply must also use the fact that you are a true performer and ballet is such a beautiful art form indeed so,” he turned to Mags, “I propose we paint her as an angel.”

I choked on a piece of watermelon, the apprehension on my face giving way to horror. Mags patted me gently on the back and I straightened in my seat, sending a grateful smile her way as Lysander continued, lost in his own world.

“Of course only your stylist can decide this but I’m fairly certain I can put in a word and if they didn't already have the same idea after watching the reaping then I'll eat my hat.” I eyed the purple monstrosity on his head and imagined it being stuffed into his mouth, wondering if maybe that would be the thing that would finally shut him up. I wanted to scream at him, tell him that I was no angel and he was a monster for finding some kind of pleasure in this, deciding what part I should play as I die. Instead I just smiled slightly and lowered my head to stop him from seeing the tears in my eyes. At that second Finnick walked in and Lysander's attention was immediately drawn to him. I sat silently as he practically interrogated him, asking how he was feeling, if he thought he could win. The answers were short, not letting anything interesting slip but giving enough to satisfy Lysander and fool him into thinking he was basically his new best friend. I zoned out part way through Lysanders rant about what the Gamemakers would throw at us this year- as if we hadn't all been thinking about it since they were announced. Suddenly, I was brought back to reality by the sound of my name.

“Y/N, Y/N.” I blinked and my gaze shifted to Lysander.

“Sorry.” I muttered

“Quite alright dear, you must be tired if you didn't get enough sleep. We're going to watch the games you were both in, for reference.” My mind didn't register the words and I simply nodded before I realised what he had said and my eyes widened in shock.

We watched Finnicks first, since he won before me. From the reaping all the way through to the crowning ceremony. He was confident in the interviews, dressed in the most impeccable suit and tie, clearly designed to show off his beauty, laughing at Caesar Flickerman's comments and responding with his own witty quips, not just a pretty face at all. Then utterly deadly in the arena. For the first few days he had lain low, not much excitement but enough to keep sponsors interested. Then he got the trident, the most expensive gift ever seen, and it was over. District 4 was fishing after all, and it seemed Finnick Odair was born to wield the trident. He captured tribute after tribute in a net and killed them all, offering no mercy. And finally the last cannon went off announcing him the winner. Fourteen years old and he had won, the youngest victor, the most handsome victor, the Capitol darling. Finnick Odair. If he was that good back then, I had no doubt he would be extraordinary now. He had it all as well, the looks which first made the Capitol love him, he was intelligent, and undoubtedly one of the best fighters that would be going into the arena. Mags and I sat there speechless as Lysander congratulated Finnick endlessly.

“And how you used that trident, extraordinary! I don't believe you'll struggle in these games now that you've had ten years to practise.” I could only think of how young he'd been, how he'd been forced to grow up so quickly after, how he'd won- but what was the cost?

Then my games were switched on; I saw myself going through it all over again. The walk up to the stage after my name was called, all eyes on me. The chariot ride where they had dressed me up as a mermaid, all shimmering fabrics and a golden crown. The interview, where Caesar asked me questions about my life back home and I answered quietly, barely audible, playing the sweet little girl as I danced for them momentarily. The arena, my frightened face as the boy from 10 died in front of me, running and hiding. Then a cut to as I made my first kills, I saw the light leave their eyes as the blood left their bodies. Another cut, to the chase and confrontation with Arion, the second the knife left my hand I closed my eyes and the thud as it hit him echoed in my ears.

They showed the crowning ceremony last, I stood calmly on the dais with my hands clasped in front of my body. I had been made to wear a white dress that fell to my knees and had a red bow tied around it. The same red adorned the pins in my hair, shaped like roses, and the single gem hanging from a silver chain around my neck. The significance was not lost on me, young as I was. I had killed three people in the arena so I wore three pieces of red. One for each of them, the crimson colour their blood on my hands. President Snow walked up slowly and placed the golden laurels on my head. He looked down at me, a small smile on his face as I gazed up at him, he whispered something that only I could hear. Words that left me pale and confused, words that could have been good but in the circumstances only sounded like the promise of a life of pain. His mouth moved on the screen and I read his lips.

“The Capitol will love you.” He stepped away and proclaimed me their victor. And it struck me how I looked so tiny compared to him and everyone around me, as the Capitol roared with applause and my big eyes stared out over them, disbelieving and uncertain before the tape ended leaving the compartment in silence.

I shoved my seat back, the legs screeching on the floor, and stood up quickly. Everyone turned to face me as I stayed still for a second.

“Y/N.” Lysander began but I cut him off.

“No, I just, I need to, I can't.” My brain was jumbled, old memories being dragged to the surface unwillingly. So I turned and I ran.

I sprinted along the train, pushing doors open as I ran through the compartments. Avoxes jumped out of my way as I barreled past them, looking at me in curiosity. I came to the end of the train and held my hands in front of me to push through the doors. I crashed through them and fell into the railing. I gripped onto the cold metal as if it was the only thing keeping me in reality, the wind rushed past me and my hair floated in front of me, strands whipping in the cold air. I could barely see, tears blurring my vision and hair covering my face. I took a shuddering breath, letting the cold air flood my lungs, and I broke. I cried and cried and cried. Letting out everything that I had kept bottled up for seven years. I had cried before, that day on the cliffs, that was for the games, for the fact that it was happening all over again for so many people across Panem. But this. This was for me. For every pain I had endured since I won, the evenings spent dancing and singing under lights focused solely on me, the fear of making a mistake stopping me from enjoying it fully, the nights spent alone, unable to sleep because of the nightmares, the days spent wandering around like a lost soul, wondering if it would ever be better than what it was.

So I cried for myself, in one selfish moment I allowed myself to only care about myself. Tears dripped down my face, droplets falling on the railing for what felt like forever. Eventually my throat grew raw and my eyes seemed to run out of tears to cry. I dropped my head forwards into my hands and my eyes glazed over with the memories I had suppressed.

I was no longer on the train headed to the Capitol. I was in the arena. Perched on an icy tree branch, pressed against the tree trunk to keep from slipping off. Hidden by the frozen leaves in the white fluffy clothing they had given us to wear. A tribute ran underneath my hiding spot, running away from something, two others followed chasing him. I immediately recognised them as career tributes, this was all just a game of cat and mouse to them. And they caught him. I shoved a piece of cloth in my mouth to stop myself from letting out any noise that would give myself away and clapped my hands over my ears to block out the noise of his screaming in pain and crying out for help from someone as they ripped into him, their laughter echoing in the otherwise silent forest. A warning that they were on the hunt and if you valued your life you would get out of there as soon as possible.

I had stayed in that tree for the first few days until I was eventually forced to move when the gamemakers released mutts into the arena. Great big slobbering beasts that lumbered along harmlessly until someone tried to kill one. Then all hell had broken loose as they chased tributes up trees and then hurled themselves unrelentingly at them, bringing them down and mauling them beyond recognition. They brought about the deaths of five tributes before they just disappeared, presumably called back out after doing their job.

I snapped out of my daze as I felt someone standing next to me. My gaze cleared as I pushed the memories back into a locked box in my mind. I didn’t need to look to know who it was, the mark on my wrist burning and on instinct I pulled my sleeve down and took a small step to the side to lessen the sting. It eased immediately from the small distance between us and faded to a dull throbbing. Finnick said nothing at my movement and we just looked out over the passing countryside, rolling green fields, trees that touched the sky and vast lakes stretching beyond the horizon. We stayed like that, peaceful, just taking it all in until he finally broke the silence.

“You were so young.”

I smiled bitterly, resting my chin on my open palm propped up on the railing.

“We all were but we had no choice. They just want to watch their games. And they don’t care if innocent children die so they can have them.” I laughed slightly. “Then they get the one that lives.” I shook my head, my fingers tightening on the rail, the cold metal biting into my skin. “They get to kill us then they get to keep us.” I turned around, leaning backwards onto the railing and looked up, watching the clouds move slowly away in the blue sea of the sky. Then the Capitol came into view, towering buildings taking up the skyline, marring it with grey,

“I'm going to go back in,” Finnick said, following my line of vision, “You should as well.” With that he stepped back into the train, not sparing a second glance as I watched him walk through a set of doors and out of sight. I relaxed as he left and stayed in my position, head tilted skywards, eyes closed until I felt tiny drops of water on my face. I opened my eyes to see rain falling, a light drizzle but enough to dampen my clothes and hair, I laughed slightly and walked inside, the warmth hitting me in a blast. I hadn't realised how cold I'd been before but the heat warmed me and my clothes quickly dried off. I looked over my shoulder as I walked through the doors that slid open, the rain pattering on the windows lightly, a last glimpse of normality.

I quickly made my way through the train, hearing Lysander screeching at unfortunate avoxes to find me as if I was missing and he had no idea where to find me. I stepped into the compartment to see him looking frazzled, he immediately caught sight of me standing unsurely at the edge of the room and gave a dramatic sigh of relief.

“Not to worry everyone she's here.” The train jolted to a stop. “We have arrived.” Lysander practically squealed and eyed me.” Dear, you should just fluff out your hair a bit, and try to look happy for the cameras.” I nod my head once and plaster a smile on my face. He nodded in approval.

We made our way to the doors. Finnick and I stood either side of Lysander and Mags was just behind us. I can see people through the windows already, screaming and shouting with excitement.

“Now everyone, remember this is the first time they will see you so make sure to leave a good impression. That means smile and wave, blow a few kisses if you have to.” Lysander told us, focusing his words mostly on me. A bell rang and he quickly turned around to me, perfecting everything he could see wrong, the tiniest hair out of place, my sleeves at different lengths and pushing my cheeks into a smile. Facing forward just in time as the doors slid open and we stepped out into the masses.

Taglist:

@nekee-lilac02 @hinata7346 @bambikitten @the-lonely-abyss @mxacegrey @m-maxie-ie @not-aya @camatchoum @maw1dk @avoxrising @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @somdreamy @thehairington86 @millzluvrs @val-writesstuff @erindiggory @reader-bookling123 @elisa20beth @maxinehufflepuffprincess @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @mystargirl-interlude @ponkaniee @missunicorn @purplelavin @user123453226780536 @littleanubis21

[karinadele]

Waiting for the Night

Idw Megatron x Reader

No warnings! Gen reader!

Follow up to my earlier megs post, i think i want to start a series/collection on the lost light crew pit stopping on earth.

We always have fics of liaisons onboard the ship, but never how they met/the crew interacting with earth. Gonna have to be multiverse cause otherwise it dont make sense!! I wanted to do holoforms to make things linear, but if i shove it into multiverse maybe they can just not?? lmao??

i think i'll do little drabbles of each bot and their adventures??

Megs is gonna be the one with the singer/songwriter

loosely stole reader converting meg's poems' idea from @infintyfandoms!!

Earth, Kilocycle 2025 (tentative lmaaoo)

Lost light lands on earth for a quick refuel and sightseeing, (and hope Rodimus doesn't get into shit)

Megatron is rather uncomfortable about this whole thing as he’s been on earth before… and the fact he caused many issues on it.

As they approach earth’s atmosphere, making contact with earth governments and space agencies.

The crew’s excited. 

While the crew only carried Shanix, the governments of different countries are more than happy to start a bidding war over it. Creating a new form of a currency and by consequence, a new stock market over it.

Megatron's plan's are simple, do what they need to do, stay out of trouble.

Of course that never plays out, one thing after another, next thing you know, Rodimus is dragging them to a human concert.

You're a singer/songwriter, and here you are, on the latest tour. Last stop before the leg ends, tired but still very excited. How can you not! Seeing fans come out to support you -some of them even tagging along every city to view you perform.

What you didn't expect to have found at your concert were Cybertronians. It's been decades that Earth has accepted them as an intergalactic species. -The first ones to come in contact with your planet.

Regardless, performing for a different alien species was definitely not part of your bucket list. But! Definitely a welcomed one!

Rodimus only managed to score a few tickets, (he could have gotten more, but venue limits was not very happy about filling in the whole stadium with nothing but bots) (bring ur favorites ig)

(I'm slotting in rod/megs/drift/i want mags but i know he'll get a headache lMAAOO)

(wish i can bring blaster/soundwave/jazz/the ones still on cybertron -aka AU that shit where they are on lost light!!)

You and your band perform away. (I prefer band?? Could be solo artist too?? omg what if each band member gets their own little arc with a bot lmaaooo)

The bots spend their time sipping highgrade and enjoy the performance.

Megatron especially latched onto the lyrics.

Rodimus fucks with the drums and beat

Drift is vibing along, probably fucks with the lyrics as haikus and melody (can we get him a japan arc)

Ultra Magnus want's to die, but eventually warms up to it after a couple drinks and primus he is dancing away. (alternatively if its an outdoor venue and you want spicy, mf totally strips his armor lMAAOO)

Soundwave is 100% recording without consent

Blaster is actually enjoying and dancing away

While it's not like Cybertronians never had music or performances back on Cybertron, they were totally different from Earth's version. Top it off with millions of years of war, it basically was foreign. Besides, listening to songs for the first time live without prior knowledge is difficult. But not for Megatron. Something about the flow of the lyrics and melody drew him in.

It felt like a poem. A piece of writing animated into life, becoming an artform. One that's being presented in front of his very own optics.

Performance arts. As he was told. And now he understood why.

(insert his rambling and thoughts about xyz songs, i have not decided what songs/if i write my own shit lmaaoo someone analyze music with me from their perspective!!)

After the performance, you and your band are catching a break in the backrooms. (Can go several routes, either obsessive!megs rescans your tour bus and takes the form ((i seriously cant see it)) or through ~intergalactic~ powers with the governments or whoever, managed to secure vvip slots and manages to meet you)

You two hit it off. (Romantic or platonic i did not decide!!)

Spending the time Megatron has on earth discussing music, lyrics writing, songwriting, and poetry. You explain that Earth music is a very similar to poetry, Often starts off as that, incorporated into a melody. Or vice versa.

You also explain that Earth has several languages, and you often pull elements from them to combine them into a song.

Hearing this, Megatron was excited. Over the sort time, he's warmed up to you and wanted to share his writings with you, but being more on the reserved side, he didn't want to open himself up like that yet. (Yet you did lmao??) But hearing that you enjoy languages and analyzing works from all different places made him finally sheepishly share some of his writings. (Alternatively crack reader version, you scurry like a fucking raccoon and steal his works, i know i would)

You find his writing absolutely beautiful. Originally having him translate his works from Cybertronian into English, as time restrain never allowed you to learn the language.

You don't tell him, but you're already planning to convert his works into music. (Romantic divergence you write it just for him, platonic you perform it for everyone. Give him royalties!! Shanix is a proper currency now!! You start playing the Shanix market with profit from his share, saving it for next time he comes back.) (honestly even romantic route can be performed live, just when LL comes back again)

Ideally you keep in touch with him even when he's departed Earth and back on LL adventures. (If you want angst, we can make it not lmaoaoo)

You already spend plenty of time studying language and songs of the world, but paid extra attention to Cybertronian after this encounter. Wanting to understand the meeting behind his poems. As Cybertronian, is a complex language, a different system that's extremely versatile and open ended when it comes to context.

Spending time translating, and re-writing his thoughts into English, you eventually dedicate a song (or album if you won the right type of adhd ig)

Years later, the LL returns back (we ignore the fact LL timeline is a mess and has multiple alternate dimensions) and either from him keeping in touch with you, or because he hunted your band down with the ~world wide web~ you two reunite and you perform the song.

Album version would have the whole band performing, but special for this concert, you adjusted the set list to a ballad with only an either guitar/keyboard synth/piano version.

Megatron found the performance to be haunting. Even though he's in the farthest rows, vision isn't an issue for Cybertronians. A simple zoom and he can see everything up close. The way your lips tremble with each vibrato, the way you have your eyes closed as you keep on beat with your hands, even the way your voice nearly cracks and how you're choking back tears in the verses. Raw emotion. Emotion he never knew how to portray during his time as a Decepticon leader. Yet wanted to so badly since the days of a miner. He's finally found peace in his spark of what he meant.

Every verse and chorus was created with his writing. A powerful display of passion strung together from his words. One that his very spark flares to the beat of.

[ncstalqiaa]

I’ve gotten back into reading CRCB by @soaps-mohawk and I’ve just been obsessing over this fic but in an Actor AU (as in the characters are actor’s playing their characters if it was made into a tv show) so here’s my headcannons!!

Unexpected Best Friends?

Simon and Reader!! The actors grew really close on set, with all the tension their characters face. (Especially after Simon had to save the reader in the scruffing scene). Simon and Reader are always seen messing around in BTS and are a chaotic whirlwind during press tours!

Most Shipped?

Close tie between Reader and Price, and Kyle and Price! Fans love to question if the reader and Price are actually together outside of set life and filming for the show. Price is a rather quiet and grounded personality, whereas Reader is very outgoing and chaotic. But in interviews done with the two, their chemistry is always undeniable by how well they can match each others energy. They tend to be able to read the other well, having been caught by paparazzis and fans alike sharing small touches on premier nights and interviews!

Price and Kyle have had a long standing friendship that transcends CRCB, both starting out their acting careers as heart throbs on a 00’s sitcom. They actually were the first same gender pairing that won the award for best kiss, and celebrated with a kiss on stage at the award show! (A long running meme within the CRCB fan community). The two are always pictured together, spending a lot of time outside of the show. Fans have even gone as far as speculations of Price, Kyle and Reader were secretly in a poly relationship.

Fan Favourite?

Johnny for sure. Johnny is known to go live on Instagram at the most random of times. He’s very giving to the CRCB community, always posting BTS, art appreciation posts, and interacting with fans as much as a possible! Although, the community loves to tease him for spoiling season 3 of CRCB on Instagram live.

Biggest Drama?

Fans were worried CRCB was going to go unfinished after Simon and Johnny had a slight altercation with the previous show runner on Twitter. After the previous showrunner posted some politically questionable comments, Simon and Johnny were quick to call him out for his behaviour. After the main cast of CRCB unfollowed the showrunner, and a season renewal still hadn’t been announced, fans feared the show had gone to an early grave. But the show was renewed, and with a new female showrunner.

And lastly, some fun honourable mentions of this Actor AU:

- Alex and Christine are famous child actors, who are actually twins. Christine landed the job as Dr Keller first, before the network thought it would be funny to bring Alex along for Christine’s brother’s first appearance in CRCB

- Reader has admitted in an interview that they bought custom engraved robes for each of the boys to wear around set in between takes for explicit scenes. Simon loved it so much that he decided to bejewel his name on the robe as a joke. Now it’s just stuck as a running meme in the community.

- Reader loves to mess with gossip mags by pretending to make out with their cast mates in interviews or red carpets. Simon and Johnny will always play along. Kyle will laugh and play along sometimes, and Price will always turn a shade of bright red when Reader does this, but he never stops them.

- Kyle had a secret Instagram page dedicated to his photography. It’s very small compared to his main page (2.5 million to 98k followers). He doesn’t like to promote the page, but doesn’t hide it either.

[journen]

Okay @chaos-vulpix asked me for Simon & 141 encountering Koroks thoughts and so here is my little ramble

Was discussing this with some others too, so also some brainstorm credit / idea credit is owed to Govan, Kells and Goblin!! xD I'm not sure if you guys have tumblrs but I appreciate you all in also indulging in this fun silly idea with me. XD

So this is all inspired by this recent art I did of Simon with a korok lol.

I think he'd hate these little fuckers. They are small and supposed to be cute, and he is confused. Simon would encounter it and be like what the actual fuck is this thing and call Johnny for backup. Johnny thinks they're cute, and tries to convince his LT they are harmless but Ghost doesn't trust them. "These fuckers aren't in the field manual Johnny".

We also joked that Ghost, not knowing what the hell these koroks are at first, would just unload a whole mag in one but little does he know they're immune to bullets and tank the whole mag and are just like YA HA HA 😭😭😂

But maybe Ghost is actually a korok magnet lol. These little fuckers like him for some reason, against his will, and follow him everywhere. They are like lost puppies who follow Ghost around and show up when he least expects it. Disney princess Ghost with koroks. He hates it and wants them to leave him alone. One grabs his leg to give him a hug and he trips and injures himself trying to fucking kick it off and Soap just stands there laughing his ass off at him xD Simon is having a day.

I think Price would be confused by these little guys too and would tell Simon to get rid of them and Simon, exhausted, eye twitching, "I CAN'T!!" One would definitely spook the shit out of Gaz too, Gaz doesn't know what to think of the little guys xD

The koroks also leave little seeds and berries out for Ghost to find and he is so annoyed. He also thinks he has gotten rid of them all at some point only to make up in the middle of the night with one staring at him and he literally screams and it wakes up Soap.

Soap likes the little koroks but they just don't give him as much attention as they do Ghost. But he is very amused by his LT's frustration with these little beings and gets a ton of joy out of it ��

I have a few more drawing ideas from this too haha like Simon being cornered and scared by a bunch of koroks. Him walking and just a line of them following behind him. Soap holding a korok going "they're not so bad, LT!". Price smoking a cigar and having an intense stare down with a korok. A korok with a bunch of bullet holes 😭 just going YA HA HA and Simon having a mental breakdown.

And the thing that inspired all this was this fic I wrote that's an AU if Simon left the military to raise his young nephew Joseph, and Soap Is visiting them when he is sent on medical leave. Soap gets really into playing Zelda and when he's away Simon takes the controller to try out the game, he goes on a whole tirade of why he hates koroks xD I had totally forgotten i'd written all that and so it also inspired that artwork I linked earlier ahaha.

I definitely also think he and Soap could be a force to be reckoned with if they team up to play totk because they would absolutely engineer the most elaborate creative korok torture devices xD

Okay sorry for the long ramble ahaha. I hope some of this is kind of funny! Hope to maybe do a couple other sketches for this idea too.

[the-spaced-out-ace]

So regarding this post from a few nights ago, here’s my thoughts on the au so far (no art yet bc the week has been busyyyy)

Margaret is still the heir to the throne and all. It’s not quite the blazing world it’s not quite the vaguely German aesthetic of the Disney version of Rapunzel, but still. Magical kingdom, you know the drill with fairy tales. Part of her being the queen one day is that she’ll unlock all her magic ways and become the Great Enchantress. Itzal wants to use his daughter as a puppet someday and locked her in a tower when she was very young, separating her from Dakkar so that she grew up without and barely remembers him, and she’s only mastered the magic ways Itzal sees as immediately useful to himself by the time the story begins (in this case, Radiance, Illusion, and Healing).

Dakkar does recall his sister, though, and he’s the one setting up the events that lead up to releasing the lanterns on her birthday every year. And like the Disney version Mags takes notice and wants to see them in purpose (also they are definitely silver instead of gold because. Shes the moon not the sun. Speaking of which)

Cue the Stratford twins, who are a two for one deal as our traveling companion. They go around the kingdom and tell stories for a living and are kiiinda probably in trouble for getting a little too blasphemous with they’re most recent tale about life on the moon, but they face that problem when it catches up with them. Right now they’re more concerned about the fact they broke into someone’s house by accident and that she seems like she hasn’t left the place in like. Ever. So they agree to take her to see the lanterns, what’s the harm in that?

Then it turns out shes not only very secluded but evidently magical and they are definitely in way over their heads but they’re still out to try to help their new friend, maybe help her discover her past and the rest of her magic ways along the way, and maybe steer clear from anyone who has follow up questions about their story about the moon.

(And like Kal being the guy Itzal hired to track Mags and the twins down to bring her back and Sam still getting stabbed a la Eugene Fitzherbert. But it’s okay Margaret can heal him this time Because I Said So)

[killedbythegroove]

Hey, hope you're doing well!

I used to follow some muse fandom spaces and read a lot of fic years ago, but haven't explored the fandom on tumblr. I don't know why now (since muse is not currently releasing anything..), but lately I've been wanting to see what's up in the fandom these days but not sure who to follow who is still active haha. I came across your blog and it's awesome (and saw the post about the difference between the fandom platforms)! Do you mind sharing blog recs of who the other main muse blogs are on here?

How big is the fandom these days because I'm guessing it's pretty small?

Thanks, I really appreciate it!! 😊

OMG HI <33333 welcome back, honestly our little corner of museblr is thriving!! the fandom isn’t like crazy big but we post enough to fill up the muse tag lmao

i think everyone contributes a really fair amount here and tbh we all reblog the same three posts back and forth but i do highly recommend giving my girl @sunburnacoustic a follow, she’s our resident archivist and collection maker :))) otherwise if you peak through the tags on our posts you can kinda get a gauge of who’s active, i know im active a LOT lol. some of our lovely people are @can-you-free-me @glass-needles-and-futurisms @supersymmetries @citizenerased77 who’ve been around for a hot min, newer regulars like @mypluginbaby @keo6232 @rosetinted-escape and so many more, some great art from @supermassiveart and @prettyinpunk, and @cherrylng has been doing a lot of mag scans!

as a shameless self plug i do write muse fic and you can check it out on my ao3 here and some of my favorite fics from 2019/2020ish i go back to time and time again are:

material things by cupiscent

my first reading by mittendorfer

small mouths and open doors and mercury by @allofuswithwings

if anyone else wants to chime in with tags or recs please do!! musers are a hive mind after all

[aclevername8]

It's been a hot minute since I posted here lol, so I thought I'd share a bunch of art I've gotten of my AU over the last few months since then--starting with this piece (my now girlfriend) @aynek-draw drew for me back in October to celebrate the two-year anniversary of my AU!

And to begin, here's a 'quick' overview of all the currently planned main characters of my AU, all of whom were drawn/designed by my good friend @wolfcha1k!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ratchet and Rivet, the prime protagonists of my AU, who need no introduction.

Basically, everything happens as is in canon until before Rift Apart/after Into the Nexus, where Clank gives Ratchet the opportunity to meet the Lombaxes by privately giving him the repaired Dimensionator in their Veldin home, and Ratchet actually accepts it.

And upon meeting the Lombaxes, he finds that his father had been alive the entire time, and after reuniting with him, now spends time with the father and species he never knew, on top of being officially ordained as a fellow Keeper of the Dimensionator for his valiant efforts in defeating Tachyon and avenging their species.

In an effort to revitalize the since-defunct Interdimensional Divsion of the Center for Advanced Lombax Research, Ratchet and Kaden travel to the Archives a month after his arrival to grab some items before getting caught up in an adventure against Emperor Nefarious, and meeting Rivet and Kit along the way.

After helping her defeat Nefarious, they allow her to meet her birth uncle, Mags, on top of getting to know the Lombaxes as well--but developing a crush on Ratchet along the way, with the two having love at first sight.

After getting to know each other better (like building the brand-new RYNO 8 together), they would finally start dating to the obviousness of literally everyone around them, and eventually, marrying and having two children together, an older daughter and a younger son.

Ultimately, they'd retire from all the heroics, having had enough of an exciting lifestyle, and instead running a humble mechanic shop on Ratchet's home of Veldin, with the slogan of "Giving Your Ships A Little R&R!" and a greenhouse in the back for Rivet and Kit to partake in their favorite hobby of gardening.

Kaden, another prime protagonist and whole inspiration to even make this AU so that he can live and be the best dad he can, goddammit.

Described by many as a cocky smartass, no one can say Kaden is underdeserving of praise at being an accomplished Praetorian General, Elder Councilman, Cohead of the Interdimensional Division, and most importantly, Keeper of the Dimensionator. But even with so many renowned titles, Kaden's favorite one is the title of 'father'.

When Tachyon attacked and took nearly everything from him, Kaden was lucky enough to have his son spared, but at the cost of his wife's life, Marie, who with her last words, made him promise to do anything to protect their son. Following her words, Kaden left him on the planet Veldin for his own safety before fighting Tachyon to what he thought was his death after staying behind to protect the Lombaxes.

Although he lost, he was unexpectedly saved by his friends, Mags and Julie, when they built an illegal Dimensionator to retrieve him before he could die. Unfortunately, the Council was so spooked by Tachyon that they banned Dimensionators outright to prevent anyone from returning to the original dimension to eliminate any chance of Tachyon following them through--stranding Kaden from his son.

Even though Kaden did all he could to try and go back--even ending up in prison for a short time for being caught building his own Dimensionator--all he could do was appeal to them every single month for twenty years in the vain hope his son was still alive.

Thankfully, Ratchet would reunite with him when he returned to the Lombaxes, allowign Kaden to fulfill his promise he made to Marie all those years ago. And with Ratchet's arrival, came the unexpected consequence of being able to meet a new friend and eventual new wife, Chief Alice Wells, and later (accidentally) having a second child with her, their daughter Lucy.

Over the years, Kaden would find himself from making peace with the fact he'd die alone as a failed father to the patriarch and great-grandfather of a large and extremely crazy family that he wouldn't trade anything in the entire multiverse for loving every single one of them with all his heart.

Kaden's best friends, Julie and Mags, the head and cohead of the Center's Weapons and Interdimensional Divisions, respectfully, who saved Kaden at the last minute from Tachyon by building a dimensionator to retrieve him before death.

While Mags is known to everyone else as the Lombax that helped Kaden find their new home in the Great Exodus, those closest to him know him as one of the best, most loyal friends you can ever have. Intelligent, enthusiastic about both ships and the interdimensional, he can be a little awkward at times, but makes for a fun friend if you can understand half the jargon he talks about.

Although he once had a twin sister who he was close to that died in a freak accident during the Great Exodus, Mags was extremely lucky to eventually find out that her daughter, his niece, Rivet (or Rosie, as she would have been named) survived, allowing himself to be the uncle he always wanted to be.

And right alongside him is Julie (or Cool Aunt Julie, as she wishes to be called from both Ratchet and Rivet), who is aptly described as a living ball of chaos that if left alone would probably find a way to explode something in the name of science and badassery in an effort to find yet another insane idea for a gun.

But even her mere existence can be argued as a health hazard for others in the room, she is fiercely loyal to anybody she latches onto, being Mags and Kaden 99% of the time, even if she bickers with them both about nearly everything--especially on the topic of convincing them to build a gun into the Dimensionator "Because it'd be so cool, just think about it!"

Even despite the fact that she and Mags have been bickering nonstop for the years they've known each other, they eventually started dating and married after years of working at the Center made them undateable to normal people, which suited them just fine.

Along with Kaden, they are extremely close three peas in a pod that have an unbreakable bond after supporting each other through post-Tachyon misery for over twenty years.

Chief (Alice) Wells of the Lombax City Guard, who has a tough-as-nails attitude, but a secret softie side that only a few are permitted to see.

Sick of her mens' shit from growing extremely complacent over the years after the newly-bolstered post-Tachyon Praetorian Guard made New Fastoon one of the safest planets ever, Wells has grown one hell of a temper, being able to come up with very creative insults and punishments (including tazing her own men without hesitation after they call her a bitch under his breath), almost everyone who meets her is scared of her. Almost.

If there's anything she hates most, it is little punks who treat the law as a mere suggestion, and as such, it was natural for her and Ratchet (and eventually Rivet (AKA Punk and Missy)) to have an intense feud that make them hate each other's guts--especially Ratchet's, after his arrival to the Lombaxes caused a city-wide chase that made the City Guard look like fools.

But even then, she and Kaden soon found themselves in an unexpected friendship, and even more unexpectedly, a relationship that would eventually have them married and have a surprise daughter, Lucy.

Even though Wells would say she HATES being the Punk's stepmom out of technicality, deep down, she (and Ratchet) grow a soft spot for each other that would have them respect each other somewhat--as long as no one else would be able to see.

But if you asked her if she loved Ratchet's children, she would say with no hesitation that she loves her grandbabies with all her heart.

Ratchet's kind (and short) yet unfortunately deceased mother, Marie.

When she and Kaden first met as teenagers at the Academy, it was love at first sight, and after being sick of being forced to watch them awkwardly flirt and dance around their mutual crush, their best friends Lorna and Alister pushed them to finally date, and the rest was history.

Dating through the Academy, Kaden's Praetorian training and induction to the Center, Marie's graduation from Vapedia's college, the two married, and their lives couldn't be any happier.

But when Marie announced she was pregnant (by accident after a night of drunken celebration of Kaden's promotion to General), Kaden was admittedly scared and disliked the idea of being a father, but voiced no such thoughts at seeing Marie be so happy at being a mother.

But thankfully, when Ratchet (or Kipler, as he was to be named) was born, Kaden's fear turned to ecstasy and unspeakable joy, wishing right alongside Marie to be the best parent ever.

However, when Tachyon attacked, Marie died saving Ratchet from their collapsing home, and with her final words, told Kaden to promise her to protect their son, a promise Kaden upholds to this day, even as he sees himself become a great-grandfather.

And although Kaden now finds himself with a new wife and second child, he still loves Marie with all his heart, and now loves her through their son that shares her blood--and her height, never failing to make jokes at Ratchet's expense, as "If not even your mom never got to escape my jokes, then neither should you, shorty."

Rivet's deceased parents, Dex and Kayla, the respective head of maintenance and high-ranking interdimensional researcher at the Lombaxes' Interdimensional Research Colony on Savali in Rivet's dimension.

Back before Tachyon attacked, some Lombaxes lived and operated in a research colony on the planet Savali, home of the Interdimensional Archives, and headed at the time by Mags, being his responsiblity as cohead of the Interdimensional Division.

Although Kayla, his twin sister, was just as bright as him and fully capable of such a role, she was content with just being a researcher, always avid to learn about the next breakthrough. But as a result, she had a tendency to be quite awkward at times, especially when it came to her eventual crush on the colony's head of maintenance/local handyman, Dex, responsible for fixing anything that breaks in the colony, from integral machinery to coffeemakers.

Instead of trying to talk to him like a normal person, Kayla had an ingenious idea of intentionally destroying her appliances and calling him over to fix it, where they would 'happen' to chat as he repaired her stuff, which worked quite well for a while until Dex asked her out because "It sounds nicer to talk to you over a nice dinner than over me fixing your toaster that 'accidentally' fell onto a hammer about eight times for the third time this week, right?"

The two would go on to marry, and eventually, have a little girl that they and Mags absolutely adored. Disaster would strike during the Great Exodus, where while they were returning back to Savali from an off-planet trip, they would fly into the territory of a new 'Empire' and be shot down over Sargasso with Mags watching their final moments over a call urging them to come back home ASAP, leading him to believe his family had died in front of him.

However, while the call had ended from their crashing ship, they had placed their infant daughter in an escape pod in the nick of time, sacrificing themselves, but saving Rivet. She safely landed on Sargasso to be eventually raised by the Morts, and even later, aided by Ratchet and Kaden to overthrow the Nefarious Empire that unknowingly killed her parents, and allowed her the chance to meet her Uncle Mags that she never knew existed.

Ratchet and Rivet's (taller) firstborn child and rambunctious daughter, Mallet-Marie (nicknamed Mallarie).

When Ratchet and Rivet found out they were pregnant, they initially wanted to name their daughter 'Mallet' similarly to their own tool names they themselves had. Kaden, however, argued against it, saying that while they might not have grown up 'normally', their daughter will, and she 'at least needs a normal name to not be bullied with, please.' So, they compromised, and gave her both a tool name and a normal name, of which they named in honor of Ratchet's late mother--who she happened to have great resemblance to as well, to their pleasant surprise. Needless to say, Kaden was very happy with her name.

Growing up as the daughter to a family of renowned heroes from her intergalactically famous father, Ratchet, her mother that led a resistance to overthrow an entire galactic empire, Rivet, and her heroic grandfather that helped save and protect their entire species, Kaden, Mallarie sought to follow in their footsteps, thirsting for a life of adventure and--most importantly--fun.

As a result, she loves mischief and unwise ideas (with Ratchet and Rivet believing that it was karma against them for the hell they themselves raised growing up), always up for the first sign of adventure, no matter how dangerous or impulsive it may be.

And when her 'nerdy' brother, Miter-Mags, came along (via 4-year-old Mallarie poking holes in 'mommy and daddy's funny balloons' as a prank), her secondary objective was to 'de-nerdify' him by dragging him along on her adventures whenever she could, even if he protested against it, complaining that he wasn't into the idea of sharing their parents' exciting lifestyles.

However, Mallarie's impulsiveness to drag Miter on her dangerous adventures would catch up to her, and on an adventure gone wrong, Miter would lose his leg saving Mallarie from being killed. To say Ratchet and Rivet were furious is an understatement, and feeling ashamed and miserable that she nearly killed her brother, Mallarie would flee to Savali to be alone--but with her Aunt Kit following her.

Kit would help Mallarie deal with the all-too-familiar feeling of nearly killing a loved one and causing them to lose a limb--admitting the truth of her mother's missing arm was because Kit shot her a long time ago. And so, after a few weeks of talking and reflection, Mallarie came back home to face her family for forgiveness--only to find that her brother was not mad at her at all, saying he'd gladly lose his other leg if it meant his sister would still be alive. And upon seeing his forgiveness, Ratchet and Rivet apologized to Mallarie for unfairly blaming her completely for the accident, and the family would move on stronger than they were before.

Although the experience sobered Mallarie to her adventuring ways, it didn't kill her mischievous spirit, and upon meeting a wannabe rebel in Jett, a Lombax she met while sitting in jail yet again, proceeded to try and teach him the ways of being a rebel punk like her.

But what she didn't expect, however, was find a kind, loving gentleman in him that made her want to settle down with him, eventually becoming her boyfriend. And when her brother accidentally had a child, they both talked about their future together, and decided they wanted to marry and have a family.

As a result, Mallarie cleaned up her act and enlisted in the Praetorian Guard, where she quickly rose through the ranks to become a General like her grandpa to support her eventual twin daughters Allie and Rose, getting all the adventure she ever wanted.

But even grown up as a respected General and all they've been through, Mallarie still teases her brother about being a 'dumb nerd' to this day.

Ratchet and Rivet's second (just as short) child and intelligent, voice-of-reason son, Miter-Mags.

Named similarly after Mallarie, and in honor of Rivet's uncle, Mags, Miter takes much after him in terms of intelligence and curiosity. Unlike the rest of his immediate family, Miter enjoys a quieter lifestyle, interested not in guns and adventures, but in books and the unknowns of science.

With encouragement from his grandpa Kaden and great-uncle Mags, Miter graduated all the way from college with the Lombaxes to eventually work under them at the Center for Advanced Lombax Research in the Interdimensional Division.

However, this and his interested made him a 'boring nerd' in his sister's eyes, and as such, was unable to completely escape his family's lifestyle, finding himself begrudgingly dragged away on dangerous adventures by his sister in an effort to make him 'cooler', forcing him to learn a thing or two about fighting in the process.

However, disaster would strike one day when he lost a leg protecting his sister on an adventure gone wrong. Being blamed by their parents, Mallarie fled from home while Miter remained to recover from his injury, Rivet being there the most from him, and hating the fact that her son suffered the same fate she did, losing a leg while she lost an arm.

But while Rivet helped him get over the loss of a limb, Miter similarly helped his parents get over the anger they felt towards Mallarie, as he hated seeing her sister in so much distress, and seeing his family being divided, and slowly convinced them that it wasn't her fault since he could have simply refused to go, and saying that they should be thankful that they are both still alive.

Thankfully, Mallarie eventually returned, allowing everyone to make up and apologize for regrettable things that have been said, and to better help move on from the incident, everyone pitched in to help build Miter a yellow prosthetic similar to Rivet's, a symbol of their love overcoming a struggle as great as this one.

And as it turned out, his amputation was a blessing in disguise, as when he returned to work, a very shy coworker of his, Estelle, was the most concerned about his accident, asking if he was okay, and always being there to help him whenever he needed it, her worry overpowering her ordinary shyness.

After a while of getting to know each other, the two would start dating, and upon finding out and enjoying his new girlfriend's secretly extremely high libido, the two would accidentally end up having a child together--something that literally everyone expected Mallarie to do and not 'actually sensible and reasonable Miter'.

Thankfully, it was a happy accident, and Miter and Estelle would marry and happily raise their son, Jules, with Miter eventually being handed the mantle of Keeper of the Dimensionator after his grandfather retires from the profession.

And even though Miter found himself at the butt of his sister's short jokes for his entire life, with her escaping their parents' acquired genes of shorter height to his chagrin, he found that a second blessing in disguise of his amputation was that kicking his sister's shins in response was much more effective with a metal prosthetic than his natural foot.

Kaden and Wells' open softie yet fiery-on-the-inside daughter, Lucille 'Lucy' Wells.

Accidentally entering the world when her mother demanded Kaden a 'destressing' session after a particularly bad day, with Wells neglecting protection in her fervor because 'we're probably too old to have kids anyway, just get over here and take off your pants already', Lucy was quite an unexpected development in her family's life, but far from unwelcome.

Although, Wells initially feared being a mother (and Ratchet loathed the idea of getting a half-sister from The Bitch™) due to the responsibility that comes with it, with her always denying the fact that she was pregnant despite the obvious symptoms, like morning sickness (she just had a long-lasting flu), her strange nighttime cravings (it's totally normal to eat pickles and tutti-frutti ice cream at midnight, KADEN), and gaining some weight (it's just too many pickles and tutti-frutti ice cream). Eventually, though, thanks to many talks from Kaden and new mother herself, Rivet, Wells would come to accept her new daughter (who would earn the pet names Pickles and Tutti Frutti due to being the blamed cause of Wells' baby bump).

Due to the timing of her birth, Lucy grew up quite close with Mallarie and Miter (of whom would be her niece and nephew, despite the fact that Mallarie was older than her by a year or two), often being confused as their sister, although she honestly was close enough to be one.

And as Kaden and Wells would find out, even though Lucy was as cute as a button and outwardly very sweet and loving of cute things, she had also inherited her mother's Wrath of Wells, giving her a bit of a temperament and capacity to unleash hell on any unfortunate soul dumb who pissed her off.

In her childhood, Kaden got her a pink Protopet as a gift, given by Angela Cross (who had in fact fled to the Lombaxes years prior, working as a biologist at the Center), and Lucy immediately fell in love with her and named her Pinky. Wells, while initially irritated that Kaden got a pet without talking to her first, would come to actually love Pinky as well--especially once she saw how terrified of it Ratchet was due to his past experience with Protopets. Thankfully, Ratchet too would come to like Pinky--but only after they locked him in a room with her until he stopped screaming once they were tired of him refusing to let him or his children even step near their house after they got her.

And in her teenage years, Lucy eventually found herself head over heels with a girl in her class, Cecily, finding her goth fashion, intelligence in poetry and philosophy, and (most importantly) big breasts quite attractive. Unfortunately for her, just like her half-brother and father, she was an awkward mess with romance, and struggled to talk to her. Fortuantely, though, Cecily (or Cee Cee, as a nickname) loved Pinky, and the two eventually bonded when Pinky ran away from home with Cecily finding her, leading to them dating, and later on, marrying.

As for a career, Lucy wanted to follow her mother's footsteps in joining the City Guard to help make the world a safer place for the average citizen, sharing her family's willingness to do good, and found that her mother gave absolutely zero preferential treatment towards her daughter, treating her as just a normal recruit.

While it was a struggle at first adapting to her mother yelling at her after being used to her being sweet with her, it only served to make Lucy quite an effective officer, and with the edge that the Wrath of Wells gave her on her job to enforce order and justice, she quickly rose through the ranks of City Guard. Soon, she would be promoted to Chief of the City Guard to protect their sister dimension's city once Lombaxes return to the old Fastoon to rebuild their ancestral home, and even later on, fully succeeding her mother in leading the City Guard across two dimensions.

Even then, though, she never did escape Mallarie's teasing, from being called 'Copper' for both her fur color and profession, having to deal with constantly arresting Mallarie herself (alongside Wells) during her rebellious years, and once promoted to Chief, Mallarie teasing how she was just a 'lowly Chief' while she herself was 'an awesome General' in the Praetorians. Luckily for Lucy, though, she was raised by one of the biggest smartasses on Fastoon, so she'd always be sure to throw a comeback that'd make her father proud.

Born as Jeremiah, Jett wants nothing to do with the family he's been given, wanting to be as far away as possible from them.

Although one would think that being born in an elite, aristocratic family with its patriarch having a seat on the Council of the Center for Advanced Lombax Research would be a one-way ticket to an easy life, it is anything but for Jett.

Being raised by parents who don't want him and a grandfather that cares not about Jett's desires to be anything other than the future Councilman they all want him to be, to say that Jett hates his family is an understatement. Although he does want to do good to help people, with his family arguing that the best way to go about it is being a Councilman to enact laws and such, Jett wants to help people directly, and he feels as though being a Councilman only serves to help his privileged family remain privileged, helping the elite more than the people.

And between his loveless, misogynistic father that brings home a different woman every week, his perpetually drunken mother that numbs her life with luxuries, and his cold, elderly Councilman grandfather that seems to make decisions 'for the greater good' without caring about those that they hurt, and the slew of shallow aristocrates they all meet with, Jett is sick of the elite lifestyle.

So, stating that his name was no longer Jeremiah and now Jett, he entered a rebellious phase to finally gain all the freedom he ever wanted, trying to act as rebels are supposed to do, from joyriding his parents' stolen ships and graffiti. Only problem was that, quite franky, he sucked at being a punk instead of a gentleman, and didn't know what to do.

However, after sitting in jail from a joyride, he happened to meet Mallarie (who immediately nicknamed him 'Spot' over his fur marking on his eye), who upon learning his want to be a rebel to escape his 'asshole family', took him under her wing to teach him how to have real fun, making him tag along on her adventures and mischievous escapades to teach him how to be a rebel.

However, Jett found himself falling in love with Mallarie, especially after meeting her family and getting a taste of what it's like to have relatives that love you unconditionally--especially if she too had a Councilman grandfather that had the capacity to be a loving patriarch. And after opening up about his own loveless family, he was unofficially accepted into Mallarie's shortly after they started dating, who he now considered to be his real family now.

Once Jett's family learned of him and Mallarie dating, they sought to make him date 'within your own class' by trying to set him up with an aristocratic snob, Brittney. Jett, however, hated being forced on dates with her by his family, and it was the final straw to make him leave them all for good.

Now with a family where he was actually loved and accepted for who he was, he and Mallarie talked about their future together, and decided to have a family of their own, with Mallarie getting a career in the Praetorians to help support them.

When they had their twin daughters, Allie and Rose, Jett became a stay-at-home dad, wanting to be in their lives for as much as possible, wanting to be the best parent he never got, loving his children with the love he so desperately wished to have himself growing up.

But when they got older, and the task of being a full-time parent was no longer needed, Jett decided that he wanted to fulfill his desire to help people once more, but this time, instead of going on heroic adventures with Mallarie, he decided to pursue a career as a Councilman, now on his terms instead of his family's.

Although he wished he had a family like Mallarie's growing up, he is more than happy that he was able to ensure that his own daughters grew up with the happy childhood he never had.

Estelle--It's always the quiet ones.

Growing up with intense social anxiety all her life, being a quiet, shy, wallflower bookworm, no one would suspect sweet and intelligent Estelle to consistently have the highest libido in the room.

Whenever she isn't dedicated herself to the pursuit of interdimensional knowledge, quickly finding herself a job as a high-ranking researcher in the Interdimensional Division, she is indulging in her favorite hobby of reading smutty romance novels, having quite the collection.

While working in the Interdimensional Division, she found herself getting a crush on her coworker, Miter, always loving his charm and intellect, but always being to shy to say more than a few passing words to him. But after he suffered from his accident and not being able to show up to work for a month, only getting updates from his grandfather Kaden and great-uncle Mags who also worked there, Estelle grew very worried about him.

Luckily, he eventually came back, but upon seeing him missing a leg with a new prosthetic, Estelle's worry overpowered her anxiety, wanting to make sure that he was alright, sparking their first real conversation together. Ever since then, Estelle was always willing to help Miter out whenever he needed it, and being braver to actually talk to him now that they actually somewhat knew each other, allowing them both to work more closely together. And soon enough, Estelle mustered up the guts to ask him out--something that made Miter a bit sore because he too was trying to get enough nerve to ask her out only to be beaten by her.

He quickly found out just how much of a sex drive his seemingly innocent girlfriend had, on top of learning of her hobby for smutty and romantic novels, but luckily for her, he did not judge her one bit for her somewhat embarrassing hobby--especially when he found the smut she had secretly written about them as well. He was more than happy to help her indulge in her libido, however.

But it was said indulgence that led to an accidental pregnancy with their child, but thankfully, Miter and Estelle felt up to the task, and decided to marry and raise their unexpected son, Jules.

Although the incident served as a stark reminder for the importance of protection, it did nothing to stifle Estelle's sex drive, always loving the fact that she was able to find true love like all the girls of her smutty romance novels did--except her one true love was a short scientist instead of a broad, scantily-clad burly hunk.

Cecily is a true example of don't judge a book by its cover--nor by its taste in music and fashion.

Although one would think that with her goth outfit and many piercings that Cecily (or Cee Cee, as those closest to her also call her) is a punk, you wouldn't be further from the truth. In stark contrast to her fashion sense and preferred taste of heavy metal music, Cecily is often a quiet and stoic individual, not by any sense of anxiety, but rather from a mindset of not needing to speak unless she has something to say.

And thanks to her love of poetry and philosophy, much of what Cecily has to say is quite meaningful and full of beauty--which is exactly why Lucy fell in love with her in the first place, on top of finding her quite physically attractive as well.

Contrary to what Lucy thought, Cecily did know she existed, and also found her awkward attempts at getting to know her quite endearing. And luckily, Lucy's pet protopet, Pinky, similarly loved Cecily, and happened to run to her when she ran away one day, allowing her and Lucy a perfect opportunity to talk.

And much like Marie and Ratchet's partners, Cecily did too find Lucy's inherited romantic awkwardness very cute and charming, and soon began dating Lucy, finding her to be an extremely dedicated and loving partner.

While Lucy would go on to find a career in the City Guard as an officer and eventual Chief, Cecily instead pursued her passion in writing and poetry, and while not becoming as popular so as to go down in the history books, found enough success that she can be happy with a job, wife, and cute and cuddly pet that she loves.

From Kaden, his own family, and pretty much everyone else that meets him, they all agree on one thing; Harold is undoubtedly the epitome of a crotchety old man.

Already having a bit of gruffness to him in his younger days, it was only made worse when Tachyon attacked, killing his beloved wife, Cynthia, and nearly destroying the planet that he loved. As a result, Councilman Harold was the most vocal proponent to banning Dimensionators outright to prevent any chance of encountering Tachyon ever again.

As a result, however, him and fellow Councilman Kaden had a bitter rivalry, with Harold always standing as Kaden's biggest obstacle between him and retrieving his son for the twenty whole years they were separated. Harold did not care, however, as he always stood for doing what was for the greater good of all Lombaxes--even if it meant crushing the dreams of others.

When Ratchet arrived to prove Harold wrong that Ratchet was not in fact a 'dead and rotting pile of bones that Tachyon has undoubtedly dealt with by now, Kaden', it did nothing to change his attitude or demeanor, only making him agree that it was like father, like son: They were both smartasses that annoyed him to no end.

But while he was a respected Councilman, albeit agreeable, his home life fared no better, with the death of his wife making him a cold man towards his own family to their own detriment, especially towards his rebellious grandson.

As his son, Felix, and his daughter-in-law, Ophelia, were questionable in their parenting skills in the best of times, Harold was one of the most present relatives in Jett's life that showed him the most love--which was not saying much. Even though they used to be close, Jett's disillusionment to his family's lifestyle and expectations of him drove them apart, coming to a head when Jett firmly denounced his entire family to say that he was leaving them--for Kaden's family.

To hear his own grandson say that Harold's most bitter rival was a better grandparent than he ever was stung more than he thought, especially when Kaden himself reamed into Harold one time for squandering the family he had while Kaden fought him for the right to even have one for twenty whole years.

Having his most loved relative abandon him began a period of reflection in Harold's life, which was unfortunately not for much longer. On his deathbed, he asked for Jett to see him, and in an emotional conversation, apologized to Jett for not giving him the love that he should have been given, and even though he knew it was too late to give it now, he was happy to see that he had found it with Mallarie and the rest of Kaden's family, and made Jett promise to be a better man than both him and his father.

Although the experience would leave Jett with bittersweet feelings, it at least made him feel more at peace with his decision to leave his family with his grandfather's blessing and love, making the few happy memories he had with him all the sweeter.

The epitome of a dysfunctional and loveless family, Felix and Ophelia.

Thanks to his father Harold's more neglectful style of parenthood due to his wife's death during Tachyon's attack, Felix unfortunately grew up with some bad habits--particularly, having the same neglectful mindset of being a parent.

Ophelia was actually of a lower class than Harold's more aristrocratic background, and when the two started dating, she was pressured into marrying him to secure her own place with the elite, but finding out much too late that with Felix and his misogynistic beliefs and bitter attitude, she made a poor choice.

In an effort to save their marriage, the two had a child, Jeremiah (later deeming himself 'Jett'), only to find that it amplified the problems with Felix being an absent, harsh father that soon found a regular hobby of bringing escorts home, and Ophelia numbing her loathsome life with drinking and empty pleasures of a wealthy lifestyle, also opting to neglect their son.

While the two of them fell out of love long ago, now trapped in a loveless marriage, the only thing they could agree on was that their son would be a disappointment if he never became a Councilman to further secure their class status once Harold dies. They made sure to voice this to Jett for his whole life, on top of the odd insult and statement that they would have probably been happier if they never had him in the first place.

With parents like these, it was no surprise when Jett disowned himself and never looked back, and while Harold was the only one who was most hurt by it, Felix and Ophelia were simply annoyed and opted for a 'good riddance' attitude.

However, seeing Jett leave their family gave Ophelia enough courage to finally leave her loveless and long-since-dead marriage, and left Felix with his constant weekly escorts to try and find her own happiness in life.

Wherever she or Felix ended up after Jett left, however, he doesn't really know, nor does he care at all, only that they remain out of his and his children's life forever.

With the both of them being among the most insufferable and vapid people one can meet, Brad and Brittney truly are made for each other.

Ever since puberty, Brad's main goal in life is to get laid whenever he can--guys, girls, doesn't matter as long as he has a good time. As a result, he has racked up one hell of a body count over the years, and broken-hearted exes to go with it. And even though he gained a reputation from his countless conquests, that he cares more about maintaining his admittedly attractive looks than his actual partner for the week, Mallarie neglected to listen when he asked her out, believing that she could 'fix him'.

The fact that he flirted with both her parents, her brother, and her (lesbian) aunt Lucy upon introducing him wasn't enough to deter Mallarie despite literally everyone telling her she should run. But thankfully, the situation 'fixed' itself once she turned down Brad's instent offer to finally have sex--Mallarie arguing that if she was losing her virginity, it wasn't in the back of a ship after getting fast food--and upon seeing that Mallarie wasn't going to be an easy conquest, he dumped her, forever cementing the family's hate towards him.

Brittney, on the other hand, was born in a high-class family, and as such, finds anyone one poorer and/or of lower-class far beneath her, and has had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Her family tried to set her up to date Jett as a ploy from his family to try and get him away from Mallarie.

Unsurprisingly, Jett paid no attention to Brittney on their forced dates, both from the fact that he already had a girlfriend, and the fact that he hated Brittney's vapid, selfish, and elitist personality. So after one last date crashed with Mallarie's aid, Jett left Brittney behind, which upset her greatly in thinking that she wasn't good enough.

She decided to drown her sorrows in a high-class bar later that night, where she happened to run into Brad, who upon convincing her that he was totally some rich dude that's clearly in the same class status of her, they had a one-night stand. But after being so lucky for so long, Brad's luck ran out as Brittney ended up pregnant to both of their dismay.

However, as the reality of him being a father began to hit him, something changed inside of Brad, making him decide to try and turn around his ways to be the best dad he can be to provide for his family. Luckily, Brittney's CEO dad (who was very displeased about the pregnancy as well) got him a job at his company's mailroom, and thanks to Brad's natural charisma, managed to work his way up to a respectable managerial position in the company over the years to support their son, Oliver.

And although his and Brittney's relationship was rocky at the start, neither wishing for a relationship nor even a child together, they did all they could to try and make it work together, which thankfully, they did, their new child and marriage doing wonders to change their otherwise selfish ways and grow to be better people.

Brad and Brittney would even later run into Mallarie and Jett, respectively, and apologize to them for their shitty selves they had to deal with when they had to 'date' them, saying that they had grown up and matured since then.

To this day, the two couples are actually good friends, allowing their children to grow up playing with each other and becoming best friends--and even allowing a budding romance to blossom between them as well.

However, it doesn't make it any less awkward when Brad still runs into one of his many exes on his day-to-day.

Ratchet and Rivet's grandchildren; Allie, Rose, and Jules.

To be honest, I decided that this generation is my cutoff point for developing my AU, as if I went beyond this, I know I would never stop making this family huge, so not every much is decided on what they actually do as it doesn't really matter lmao

Allie and Rose are Mallarie and Jett's twin daughters, named after Wells and Rivet, respectively (with Wells' first name being Alice and Rivet's original birth name being Rosie). Allie would grow up to be more headstrong while Rose woudl grow up more shy and reserved.

Jules is Miter and Estelle's son (and the oldest of his cousins), and he is named after Julie--mostly because she was very butthurt that Kaden and Ratchet didn't name any of their children after her. Needless to say, she was very happy.

Brad and Brittney's son, Oliver, or 'Oli' as everyone calls him.

Similar to Allie/Rose/Jules, Oliver is in the generation that I am deciding not to develop to stop myself from going overboard, so not much is decided about him outside of the fact that he is Allie and Rose's childhood friend, and that he ends up in a relationship with one of them (probably Allie).

And don't worry, he isn't a vapid asshole like his parents were.

Jett's grandma/Harold's late wife, Cynthia.

Not much is developed of her because of the fact that she's been dead and honestly doesn't have much bearing on the AU as a whole, but Harold used to be not as crotchety and cold when she was around, and she was quite the gossip, but an otherwise sweet and kind lady.

Wells' late ex-Praetorian father, Ulysses.

Ulysses used to be a respected Praetorian captain back in his day before retiring to spend more time with his family, including Wells when she was a little girl, who looked up to him very much.

But when Tachyon attacked, while his family evacuated, he stayed behind to aid his fellow Praetorians in the evacuation, but unfortunately was killed by Tachyons' forces. As a result, Wells vowed to follow her father's footsteps in wanting to make the world a better, safer place, sparking her fire in pursuing a career in the City Guard--opting to enlist with them rather than the Praetorians because Wells felt as though the City Guard makes more of an impact on the average person's life, being able to better see the fruits of her labor for herself.

Wells' mother (or sister?), Sierra.

At first, Sierra was drawn to be Wells' mother (as my friend wanted to know more about Wells' backstory), and that she died with her father to better establish her motivations to want to do good--mostly by the fact that they accidentally instilled a workaholic mentality into Wells before they died.

But then another friend thought of the juicy idea of Sierra being alive purely so that she and Ratchet (and Rivet) actually bond so that Wells would have to watch with horror as her mom would become frineds with The Punk and Missy.

But then I had the idea of what if Sierra was Wells' older and more fun-loving sister for those juicy sisterly dynamics, still making her and Ratchet pals, but also so that Kaden can ask her for dating advice.

I am still on the fence about how she is related to Wells, so she's a work-in-progress lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so, that was the "short" character overview of all the (current) main characters currently planned in my AU!

If you're interested in reading more, read the series so far here on AO3!

[meownotgood]

dearest mags,

i hope this ask finds you in good health, and that the viktor lovebugs aren't biting you too much (if they are, bite viktor back). i come to your surely already full mailbox with one humble question.

how much of machine herald is actually steel and metal? as someone who got into arcane only recently and never touched lol (phew...) i tried to look it up online, but meh.. i don't trust the general public. i do, however, trust a loyal viktor kisser such as yourself.

i hope it's not too cold Wherever You Live

hugs from italy,

anon

yes dearest anon!!! I can do my best to answer!!!!!!

so viktor's old bio specifically mentions he, "replaced the majority of his anatomy with mechanical augmentations." in his short story, he's augmenting his arm, specifically mentioning his flesh and muscle splayed open. I suppose it's mostly up to interpretation... based on his lore, it's likely he replaced any parts of his body he saw as direct weaknesses. however, his main belief is to help all humanity, and his bio also mentions, "he could not expect others to follow where he did not go first."

I can definitely picture vik operating on himself to test before he tries it on someone else; I think his main motivations are to help the people of zaun, so he is more focused on this than making himself perfect, so to speak. my personal interpretation is that he replaced most of his organs but he still has some parts of his body that are still human... perhaps because he doesn't have time, perhaps because he clearly feels more than he lets on. since he's wearing a glove, I always thought he kept one hand / arm at least lol. also the fact he has hair makes me think he def still has a human face... have you ever seen this art from his designer in arcane? WHEW!!!!!!

[profanepurity]

I am here to knock on your door and peer inside for any Sister Diana and Bellamy info, because this is my fave AU now. I am very greedy and wish to know more (also Secondo being a girl dad, MY HEART)

Not only is Papa Emeritus Secondo a girl dad, but Bellamy also has two very evil satanic cardinals for uncles that watch very R-rated horror movies with her when they babysit. Don't worry, Copia always fast-forwards through the really bad parts, despite Terzo saying "she already knows about that stuff". Bellamy loves horror movies (and spending time with them), but C still got her that rat plushy for when she spends the night- which she named Lumaconi.

Lol so this response got super plot-driven, which is why it took ages to finish, I’m so sorry about that! This is going to focus mostly on how Secondo met Sister Diana when he was a Cardinal under Primo’s papacy, the ‘ghuleh’ that haunts the mortuary, and baby Bellamy. I really wish I could have rendered these, but I just didn't have the time unfortunately 😞

TW: This gets spicy. There are mentions of sex and suggestive imagery, but nothing explicit. Also TONS of angst. Mentions of death and blood. 

Thank you so much for your ask. Your support means the world to me! Enjoy 🖤

Diana was taken in as an orphan by the church as a young teen. Despite her unknown family history, she quickly grew accustomed to her new home at the ministry. She met Eliza when she began training to take her official vows. Their relationship started out as mentor and mentee but grew into a friendship once Diana had taken her final vows. Despite there being a bit of an age gap, they quickly became very close. Diana would often pull some of Eliza’s darkness out of her, encouraging her to “have some fun”, while Eliza was more the voice of reason. After Primo and Eliza married, you better believe Diana’s teasing was relentless, and even more so when Eliza was made Prime Mover. Though this came to bite Diana in the ass when she started eyeing Primo’s first younger brother, much to Eliza’s delight.

Primo seemed to ascend from a Cardinal to Papa in the blink of an eye, taking Eliza as his Prime Mover and promoting Secondo to a Cardinal. Secondo was of course no less lively decades ago than he is now. His reputation among the siblings of sin and even to a few outside followers/ connections with the church was nothing short of promicuous. While he continued to appreciate the pleasures of the flesh and substance, Secondo was perhaps lesser known to be quite active within the dark arts. His nose was either in a grimoire or a porn mag, no in between. 

Diana had taken her place overseeing the mortuary of the church, having a fascination with the dead and the dark powers that collect the soul as they are taken to Hell. When Secondo happened to find himself drifting towards the art of necromancy, the mortuary was the first place he looked for “research materials”. The first night Secondo met her, Sister Diana had been sewing a newly dead sibling back together after she had embalmed them and performed the ceremonial ritual to send off their soul. This hauntingly gorgeous sister, clad in a white, bat-like Cornette, with a cold gaze that would often unsettle other siblings of sin, lifted her eyes to him, and allowed the corners of her full lips to curl in a small, but controlled smile. There was no shyness or intimidation on her face by the sight of Cardinal Emeritus II, like so many siblings often had. She moved like a ghost around her table, silent, floating like a flower petal. You could say it was Asmodeus himself who brought them together, consuming them with the delightful sin of lust. 

Diana was charmed by his demanding presence and intense stare, and her odd serenity and striking beauty enamored Secondo. It was suppose to just be a one time thing. One night turned into two, and then a month later Secondo was having her sit on his lap while sipped on scotch, her hands resting on his chest as music served as pleasant background noise for them to enjoy eachother’s bodies tol. Then they were driving with the top down through the night lit streets of LA, and he got to see her hair whip around her face, free from her habit, as they went club to club; drinking, laughing, fucking. Next thing he knew Secondo awoke one morning to a spare toothbrush in his bathroom and spare clothing having found a permanent residence in his quarters. What shocked him more so was that he didn’t seem to mind.

At first, Secondo assumed these many shared nights were what caused him to find himself coming back to her time and time again. It was only natural, to bond with someone, it had been a year at this point after all. But what he would never admit to himself, was that the long, deep conversations he would find himself sharing with her within the private walls of his quarters, late at night, made him feel connected to someone else in a way he’d never been before. No, seeing the same lust within her for both carnal explorations and for knowlege of the dark arts that he shared himself was not at all attractive to him. Waking up to her presence in his bed, wearing his shirt, sharing his warmth vulnerably, showing her trust in him despite being reserved and isolate to nearly everyone else, did not melt his heart in the slightest. 

Sister Diana challenged him as an equal intellectually. Secondo knew of Diana’s unwavering nature, her own ambitions and independence, yet she allowed him to hold her. To lead her in a dance. To keep his hand on the small of her back as they walked. She willingly submitted her body to him, as he did to her too, behdind closed doors. 

He loved the way she would look at his younger brother Cardinal Emeritus III, not with carnal desire like some of the other siblings, but she would rather toy with him and match his own advances in a playful manner. Not once did Sister Diana look at anyone else like she looked at him, and only he would ever know that.

All that being said, Secondo has never, and may never be exclusive to anyone, as monogamy was never something he was drawn to in his life. Thankfully Diana felt the same way about her own sexuality. They silently understood this between eachother, despite never actually having a real conversation about it. Still, they would sit in the library for hours as they studied together. She would come up to the quarters of the high clergymen and massage his shoulders as he finished paper work. He would come down to the morgue to bring her coffee and food when she would be working nights. There was no denying their love for eachother.

Their meetings fell into a comfortable routine. So you can image how it confused Secondo when Sister Diana wasn’t in the mortuary at the time she usually was every other day. How it started to make his brow crease when he couldn’t find her anywhere else in the church. The Cardinal found her in the very last place he chose to look for her in. Perhaps if he had gone to her room first, things would have been different. Perhaps he wouldn’d have found her lifeless body, mutilated and pale, blood already beginning to dry upon her skin and the carpet as she layed on her bedroom floor. 

I briefly mention this scene in one of my one shots, “Child of Her Grave”, but of course I’m slightly changing how it goes already lol. But anyway, the family was in shambles to say the least.

Secondo had come to Primo in a daze. He didn’t know how long he stayed by her body, completely shell-shocked at the sight until he decided to knock on his brother’s door at 2 in the morning. The unlit halls of the church disguised her blood that now stained his cheek and clothing. He simply told Primo that Sister Diana had been killed, unable to utter anything more. 

Her death occured on the same day that an incredibly important ritual needed to be performed. It had only been hours after Secondo told Papa Primo that he was now faced with having to tell his Prime Mover that her best friend had been murdured over night. 

The combination of seeing his brother struggling to process finding his lover’s body, and holding Eliza against him as sobs racked her body, was the most torturous thing Primo had ever experienced. But they were left with no time to process their grief.

The higher clergy, along with Sister Imperator, were adamant with Papa Primo that the ritual not be delayed simply because of one sibling’s funeral. But when Papa didn’t come when he was summoned for the ritual, several Bishops stormed his quarters in anger and frustration at the delay of the incredibly time-sensitive ceremony that still needed hours of prep work before dawn. Primo was considered one of the more patient Papas that was very difficult to truly anger, yet he didn’t feel an ounce of remorse as he killed one of the Bishops for daring to raise his voice while Eliza was shaking violently against his chest.

Her burial ceremony was quiet. Secondo sat by her grave afterward and refused to move. It broke Primo’s heart that he wasn’t able to attend with Eliza and his brother. He got there as soon as he could, heading straight to his cardinal. He had been aware of his relationship with Sister Diana, it had been obvious to Papa that the year they spent together has made his brother close to her, even if Secondo himself refused to admit it. He could only imagine his pain. Someone was standing over his brother- who he barely registered, thinking it was their father Nihil deciding to be present. Primo was not prepared to see the wrath of Satan in his brother’s eyes. He should have known then that Second Emeritus was planning something in his silent anguish, but Primo found a brief sense of relief knowing the Old One was with him when he couldn’t be.

The ritual had required Carinal Emeritus III and Cardinal Copia to be in attendance of course. The roles of the two satanic princes of the church had been flipped. Terzo was the one now wringing his hands and stuttering over his words. Both of them wanted to be with Secondo, but Copia sent him off before they left the offices of the higher clergymen. It was important that at least one of them was there.

Terzo felt his heart hammer in his chest as his legs carried him across the cemetery.Even when they were boys, Terzo had never seen Secondo cry. His brother was always so stoic. Secondo took everything in stride and grace, and demanded nothing but authority in every situation. But when he reached his destination, Terzo stared at a man that was just as lifeless as the bodies six feet under them. 

He was almost afraid to touch him. He didn’t want to upset his brother further, but Terzo couldn’t bring himself to leave either. The younger brother’s throat tightened and he stood rigid- but soon eased himself beside his superior dark Eminence, sitting on the painfully cold metal bench that faced her grave.

He held his breath for Secondo to snap and tell him to fuck off, he almost wanted him to, just to have a sign of normalcy from his brother. When that never came, he slipped his arms around him, and just press himself as close as he could, remaining silent. When there was still no reaction from Secondo, he laced his hand in his and squeezed.

 “Ti voglio bene...”

Terzo hated how his voice shook and cracked when he whispered it against Secondo’s shoulder. He needed to get a fucking grip- 

Weakly, Secondo finally squeezed Terzo’s hand back. Oh- Lucifer, he can’t cry. That’s all it took for Terzo to press his face against his brother’s shoulder and hug him tightly. 

Thunder raged in the distance when Terzo’s blinding white eye spotted one of Nihil’s ghouls walking over to Imperator at the top of the stairs to the church's entrance. The sight of dried blood on black fabric made violet lightning split the sky- before an explosive peal broke the silence.

To this day they still don’t know exactly which ghoul murdered her.

As soon as the moon had cast a blinding glow upon the cemetery did Seconod’s mourning cease. He has been mentally preparing to recite the words of the many grimoires he’d read with Sister Diana, realizing that the dark arts had brought them together for a specific purpose, in this moment, he would raise her from the earth. It needed to be done before the decay of her internal organs began. It was the most demanding casting Secondo had done at that point in his practice. But by the time the moon was at its peak in the sky, Diana rose from her grave, her skin sickly, bones snapping back into place and mending her body where it had been broken. Standing in a horrific sight from the hole she clawed herself out of. Her hand’s blacked and clawed, raw from scratching out of her own casket. Yet she smiled at him like the day he met her.

Now you can really imagine the family’s reaction, seeing the dead sister walking through the halls the following day of her funeral. Sister Imperator seemed especially stunned, for whatever reason. I’ll have to draw some of these reactions later lol.

Thankfully not much changed after that, as Diana kept to herself mostly, her returned presence was not immediately noticed by the rest of the church. The siblings would of course rumor that a ghost haunted the mortuary, with exposed bone and rotting flesh. None of this was true of course. Secondo only noticed she was colder to the touch now, and smelled more like the earth, but her beauty and mind were in tact. He knew why Lucifer brought them together that day with necromancy, and he was now more driven than ever to master the evil forces. 

Nonetheless, Cardinal Secondo and Sister Diana were very happy to be reunited. Bellamy was born just a little over a year after her mother’s resurrection, as physical proof of that rejoined love. 

Currently, in the timeline of this au, Bellamy is now seven years old and Second is now Papa Emeritus II. There will be more content to come with her, I know this response is getting stupidly long lol. For now, I’ll end it with this goof ass doodle of Bellamy’s dedication ceremony to Lucifer and Lilith, actually led by Papa Nihil, who shockingly volunteered to dedicate his granddaughter to the Lords of Hell at the altar. 

Primo better get a comfortable ass seat in hell for the shit he puts up with.

That’s all for now 💐🖤

[yvesdot]

yves, if only theoretically wanted to break into publishing or lit mags, do you have recommendations or advice?

My primary advice is to get to know as many writers as you can, as well as you can, quickly. I’ve recommended joining Discord servers for this in the past and will do so again; the most active ones I’m in are Max's @goose-books server (I think you have to ask for an invite?), WTW, and writeblr garden. Participate in book events virtually and in person when you can. When you like someone's work, tell them! And mention that you're an author, too.

Disclaimer: I haven't made it into any paid magazines, largely because I find submitting and waiting for months at a time before working on edits exhausting, particularly in comparison to instant money on Patreon—so have that grain of salt at the ready! All I've done is publish the one book, twice, and release a substantial amount of short fiction on my own. People read it and liked it, and now I have lovely anons like you who seem to respect me enough to ask for industry advice. Thank you! Hope you like long posts.

The reason I say the above is that, in my experience, the entirety of publishing is just one big who-do-you-know. Utterly non-exhaustive list of ways "knowing people" has helped me in my writing career below.

I left a middling review on a trans author's book, and in the correspondence that followed we became friends. Rysz Merey went on to start tRaum Books, and because we were friends, we put out the Something's Not Right anniversary edition together.

When I was at my university, I was loudly opinionated about books and writing and art in all of my classes, and a professor's words about me in an email to an author they knew became the blurb for that same edition of Something's Not Right.

I read Tragic Accident (a flash piece originally rejected by an online magazine for, in my opinion, cisgender reasons) last night at Flash Fiction Forum, the heads of which I know personally because, after a high school internship, I was directed to a friend of theirs to volunteer at her writing camp. I sold a lot of copies of the original SNR to teens at that camp, and I've sold dozens of copies since by linking to the book in the Zoom chat and bringing physical copies to in-person readings.

Tragic Accident may have ultimately been rejected from the venue I sent it to, but I only had that venue on my list because my beloved friend Fer @asablehart posted in WTW a spreadsheet of places to submit. I still use that spreadsheet, filled with dozens of extra places I researched on my own, and pass it on to anyone who asks. Fer also read The Traveler Wife and gave extremely insightful feedback on it; we've since done tons of great critique4critiques together and they're still my go-to if I need wise words on a piece of writing.

When I held my event at Bookshop Santa Cruz, I marketed my ass off. I'd learned from my previous event at the Diversity Center in town and focused heavily on reaching out to individual people: posting in Discord servers, DMing everyone I knew, and telling everybody I met in December that by the way I would be reading at Bookshop Santa Cruz in January. I worked my job as an author and my book and my event into every conversation I had with a stranger that month. Everyone responded positively! People want to know what you're working on.

But at the end of the day, under a third of attendees were people I hadn't previously considered friends in some way. The majority of the people who came were family, friends, coworkers, friends-of-friends dragged along by someone I knew well, etc. One coworker couldn't come but invited their housemates, who bought books and left saying they would read Band Girls at home. One of the friends who came met me when we would ride the same bus every week to class, and I initially spoke to him because I fully thought he was a transgender woman (he turned out to just be an extremely fashionable individual). That guy helped code my website. Of the three people who interviewed me locally for promotion, two are people I'm friends with and one I cold-emailed due to his past work.

One of the major servers I used to invite people to both of my events is one I was only added to because I met a goth girl who invited me to her dorm to watch her inject E into her thigh and when I reported back on this to another transfem friend that friend instantly named her because they were in the server together and multiple people in it knew me from my creative writing efforts so everybody agreed to add me. I literally only had that space to network because I said "nice boots" to a girl whose special interest turned out to be DIY HRT at a protest party about the chancellor getting a raise.

Claire Oshetsky came to my event and I made a point of finally starting to read their book beforehand so I could honestly tell them it was cool when I signed their copy of Something's Not Right (it was cool, and everyone should read Chouette, and also Poor Deer, which I am on page 10 on and can already certify is fantastic). They were incredibly nice to me for no reason—well, because of those interviews I had, which led to them noticing another nonbinary author in the area—and ultimately reviewed SNR very positively on GoodReads. You can see what happened to the numbers afterwards. (I also sold a copy that day; when you sell roughly a copy of a book per week, you can absolutely make these connections directly.)

Tonight was Claire Oshetsky's event, so I showed up having read Chouette in full and asked a question during the Q&A and told them how cool their book was, and they invited me to a little post-event author dinner. (One of the authors introduced herself as "Karen" and described a prolific writing career very opaquely until her friend mentioned the name of her latest novel: Booth.) Everyone was incredibly nice and wanted to buy my book which was unfortunately sold out because of the aforementioned event, and a couple of people gave me email addresses so they could buy it later. I've been trying to meet local authors for over a year, and I met seven by accident because one of them came up to me to say it was nice to see Bookshop Santa Cruz had two nonbinary readers in a row.

Talking to David Sedaris at an event got me a job! He complimented my outfit, I said thank you I wore it for the interview with [x], and he did everything he could to help me network with the [x] people there. I was later told that my "chemistry" with Sedaris, among other things, helped me get the position. I would also find out that David specifically loves the last people in the signing line because they're the most patient; I happened to have waited until last because I wanted to have more time to talk to him.

I have emailed several authors with fanmail, and depending on how popular they are, I have gotten responses! I'm in a correspondence right now which netted me a behind-the-scenes look at an incredible draft, and thank you for reminding me because I need to respond and tell them how good it was.

Patreon is on pause right now, but I believe over half the subscribers are people I'm friends with in one way or another. I've tried nearly everything under the sun to advertise, and so far the only thing that's worked is "telling someone who has the disposable income."

The people who beta-read my latest release, Band Girls (18+), for me (which is the only reason it wasn't an unmitigated disaster) include my butch, who met me in a Locked Tomb server (naturally), a friend from a creative writing class in university who later became my housemate, and a good buddy of my butch's whom they rescued from the aforementioned TLT server. I literally didn't even notice that guy when we were in the server together and it turns out he's also a writer with a Giant Lesbian Women project who also wound up really liking Long Line (18+). Glories are all around you.

(Also, apparently my butch had that "how to write a blurb" post bookmarked and immediately recognized me, which is crazy. Imagine meeting some random author in a fandom server and they ask to see your [redacted] in DMs.)

Hell, my buddy Max Franciscovich read my book five years ago in the back of a car and had a transcendental nonbinary lesbian experience, and because he happened to be mutuals with a high school friend of mine, that friend sent me screenshots of him panicking about how he couldn't talk to me because I was too cool. I DMed him, and we are like each other's female husbands now. Undoubtedly we have each gained a substantive reader base from hyping each other's work at anyone in earshot. Maxserver, which I shouted out above, only has me in it because I know the darn guy. It's a lot more populous than yvescord in part because he is that much more active than I am, and can engage with other people's work more. I'm mooching off the labor of my best friend who pseudo-reached-out to me because I put a pronoun pin on a character's bag in the book I self-published in 2018.

Speaking of which: I self-published the original edition of Something's Not Right as a thank-you birthday gift to the Beta Reader. I seem to remember him reading my writing for the first time and saying something along the lines of "You do realize this is really good, right?" (I did not realize.) That was the first person to appreciate any of my original fiction, and it led to my entire career. We met on a class trip because he was the only person who would listen to me talk about Star Wars.

I try to never ingenuinely be nice to people. This is not particularly difficult, because I like people and give the benefit of the doubt to a pretty extreme fault. I will occasionally be nice out of politeness, but everyone I mentioned here is someone I genuinely like whose work is fantastic. It wasn't hard to honestly say I liked them and their writing.

I also recognize that much of this is kind of just me blathering about Ws with no actionable advice... but it might give you ideas for where to go or who to talk to about your writing. I also want you to feel just how much of writing is about "networking" in a way that is not cold and manipulative and moneyhungry but actually just involves being genuine friends with other people. I think the sheer quantity of evidence here is helpful to understand just how much you can do for yourself by talking to the people you like.

I also think it's good practice to own the fact that very little of my microcelebrity success has anything to do with how good my work is. I mean, sure, I think it's good, but this should make it clear that my greatest strength has been my perseverance and my friendliness.

(Also, obviously, I have the immense privilege to have gone to college, to live in California, to get to all these places and meet these people and work with them. I had the money in the bank to publish and promote a book. This is not a small factor. I'm hoping to do a full rundown of costs and efforts to promote Something's Not Right's anniversary edition sometime this year.)

I also don't think I'm particularly good at socializing—I have a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, a difficulty with meeting people's eyes, and a mild stutter when I talk too quickly (which is often). A lot of people find me annoying or insincere because I act like a sentient powder puff, and when I'm not jumping up and down and meowing at people instead of saying "on your right," I'm complaining about the most widely-beloved pieces of pop culture and making two-hour rant videos about video games I think insufficiently scrutinize the concept of the nuclear family. I say all this to head off any concerns that perhaps I am just secretly very suave and social; I love talking to people, but I don't believe this is the case.

If I can summarize: nearly every time I've had any success with my writing, it's been because I made an effort to be kind to people I respected and share my passion for books and writing. I hit upon enough privileges and lucky circumstances to get the right circle of people to make all of the above happen. I think you can do it, too! I wish you the best. Thanks for asking ^__^

[timetravelerpyrite]

Uh, hi.

My name is Pyrite, I go by he/him mainly… don't mind she/her though. Newly found out I like Pup/Pupself pronouns too.

I'm 31. (B-day is November 16th, if that matters to anyone.)

//Current Arc: None rn!

//Finished Arcs: Fool's Faller, ABSOLute Panic!

Anyway, not too important, I just kinda found this site and realized 'Oh, there's some people like me here!' so here I am I guess?

Don't expect me to be friendly.

I don't bite! I'm trying to make more friends, but don't shove too much at me at once please.

I don't like staying in one place, it makes me anxious, no I won't tell you why. I was running a lot because of my Ex, she and my bio fam wants me to come back, but I won't, I'm actually tying to get use to staying in one place now.

Most important thing, I'm a Time Traveler and Dimension hopper, how the hell am I both?

I caught a Celebi (He/She/They) by COMPLETE ACCIDENT so now I'm kinda stuck with them, and I kinda got adopted by a Dimension hopping Iron called Iron Eclipse (It/Its)… no, I do not expect you to know what that is.

Call me a fake if you want, I don't care, just try not to hold me down in one spot, got it? Wow I don't like this part the most, why was I such a jerk in my intro??

Anyway, I might visit ya if I feel like, I have two adopted (not legally but who gives a shit) sisters @queen-of-the-phantoms and @pokedexcamp! I'm dating @silveredfeathers and living with him and his wife (and now my Girlfriend-??) @trainerlynda.

Adding an addendum: Sometimes we, his Irons, connect to his phone to be able to post. We are;

🐉: Iron Rage. (She/Her)

🕊️: Iron Serenity! (He/They/Fae)

🌋: Iron Eruption. (He/Him)

🌑🌈: Iron Eclipse.

⌛: And sometimes I steal the phone, I'm Chronos his Celebi.

🍞: Thanatos types sometimes too, she has rather broken English so it will likely be autocorrected to hell and back, please tell her if it gets a word wrong, from what I can tell she wants to understand (She/It)

//Open ask games!

Pelipper mail and malice.

Ask an invasive question.

//Magnifying glass ask game!

See his dreams and nightmares.

//A post for you to give me permission for him to hop to your character's dimension! (Either on purpose or by accident.)

//Ooc info under the cut!

//Ooc. This is a sideblog! Unreality. Mod is an adult and goes by she/her he/him pronouns All art I use is my own (Or made for me)! I follow from @theshadowqueenofthedistortion, more info about me on my main! This blog is not settled in one dimension at the moment, so expect conflicting area info. Here's some of my other accounts as well!

//Semi-Serious blog, I will participate in active silliness and also write serious stuff. Will sometimes touch on death, abuse and a few other things, I will tag the serious stuff with their appropriate tw/cw tags.

//I will not ship with anyone who isn't my BF (and myself, but that's a note for later), just for my comfort. This boi does n o t stay in one place, if he goes to visit someone he will get there himself/he fell into that universe by accident.

//Magic anons are allowed! But I am picky.

//I am very open to crossover stuff!

//This guy is very much centered around Future Paradox pokemon! He's not gonna know all the Pokemon's names and will call them 'Irons'. The Iron names are VERY much headcannons unless talking about a cannon Iron.

//When he's on the move things he says aloud will be under

[Voice to text active!] where as when he's actully writing it will be under [Pyrite is typing...]

//What the tags mean.

//Shadow Mod Speaks: Mod speaking.

//Mod Reference: Me and/or Zorana making references for this account

//Shadow Art: Art by me that isn't a ref/finished.

//Pyrite info: Self-Explanatory. For both IC and OOC.

Little Hops: His post/response tag.

Warping Reality: Closed and/or serious RP. I will also use this tag when responding seriously to something.

Where am I today?: When Pyrite is mainly talking to himself.

The Pokemon tags: They are for each respective Pokemon/Iron

Magic Anon Things.: Stuff with magic anons.

Triangle Terror: Pyrite dealing with the truth triangles. He can't turn them off, so hehehe.

[popculturebuffet]

Into the Spider-Verse: Spider-Ham (Marvel Tails #1 and Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham #15) (Comissioned by WeirdKev15)

Hello all you happy webheads and welcome back to Into the Spider-Verse, my look at the origins of every webslinger from the landmark film in the build up to Across the Spider-Verse. And it's bittersweet to be this close to the end of the web here: i'm proud of myself for this project and kev for having cooked it up as it allowed me to really dig into my love of spider-man, and comics in general, with new ideas and even possible new retrospectives wholesale coming out of this.

But before we can end this ride, we still have one Spidey to cover, who after our previous spider-persons adventures with crackers and milk, their predecesors literal oppisite sex clone, mob goons without fear, rock n roll pop art halluciongens in your giant spider mecha, and giant spiders stripping you naked, one man comes along to say..

Yes it's time for the debut of Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham a

And i'm sure many of you, both those familiar with the comics and those who just watched the movie, are asking the same question: why. The answer is simple. Way way back in the 1980's, Marvel had a new animated arm, Marvel Productions, which was a massive deal, producing both GI Joe and Transformers, which both started as comics first to promote the upcoming toylines, as well as Dungeons and Dragons, My LIttle Pony Tales, Muppet Babies, Jem and the Holograms, Kid N Play and the Biker Mice From Mars. There were also of course marvel cartoons like Spider-Man(the 80s one), Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, The Incredible Hulk, the more popular Incredible Hulk and the infamous and destined to be covered Pryde of the X-Men Pilot.

So naturally Marvel wanted more ips to feed into the almighty merchandising machine, because shockingly, companies have ALWAYS wanted every dollar they can get out of making more and more adaptations as long s they can afford it. So two writers set to work to spitball this: They were Tom DeFalco, a longtime spider-man editor who would go on to write the guidebook I had as a kid that really got me into the comics and taught me a lot about his rogues gallery and more importantly would write the book himself briefly, being the one to crystalize Mary Jane's tragic Backstory and her knowing Peter Parker is spider-man all along. WIth him was the wonderful Larry Hama, at the time writing GI JOe for marvel.. and at the time of this writing STILL writing his continuation of that continuity for IDW as he should. Hama deserves all the credit for setting the foundations of the GI Joe universe most adaptations follows and for writing one hell of a comic in the process, and not one to rest on his laurels would later have the defining run on Wolverine's solo book.

So as you can imagine when these two legends get together.. they created a simple but enduringly weird joke that has lasted decades. It's a concept that just works: Spider-Man.. but he's a funny animal. Weirdly though Marvel Animation passed on it, not wanting anything to do with it despite the fact that in a time when Garfield was at the peak of his powers and they'd be making muppet babies, funny animals were a VERY easy sell. Seriously why Marvel Animation was so stupid is a riddle for the ages but Marvel liked printing money, so they put Porker in a one shot, Marvel Tails, parodying the marvel reprint mag marvel Tales. That said DeFalco didn't expect much from it and was suprised months later when the higher ups asked for another issue. He explained it was a one shot.. and then they asked when the next issue was and he got the memo. While DeFalco wrote the one shot that launched the character he freely admits he's not the one who made him a star. That honor goes to Steve Skeates. Skeates had been a mainstay in the industry, paticuarlly having a run on Aquaman i've been trying to read for some time that really launched the character to new heights before Superfriends would shove him back to the depths for a while. He was burnt out on the industry and freely admits he wouldn't of done the book for Larry Hama if it was any other book, but felt the format allowed him to do a throwback to the kinds of books he liked writing while still throwing in plenty of comedy to keep it fresh. The result was pretty great, with Skeates wisely having Porker's various foes not be the obvious joke of being the animals they resemble, for instance the Vulture being a possum in a buzzard suit instead of a vulture.

And we'll be seeing that contrast between Porker's humble one shot joke beginings and evolved more nuanced parody as unlike most of the characters featured... Porker didn't get his origin story for a while. While most of the spider-persons got there's in their very first appearance or arc, Porker's origin didn't come about till late in his solo books run. So today we'll be looking at both his first appearance in Marvel Tails, and his origin story in Peter Porker the Spectacular Spider-Ham #15 under the cut!

Spider-Ham begins his career in a typical spider-man setting: stopping a typical gang of thugs with ease and some quips. But it's not long before we get into one of the weird things about this story, something that just dosen't really work with it: Captain Americat. Cap is pictured here as Peter's steadfast partner and a reporter at his paper and none of this works. Now this is an AU, it COULD work and the idea of steve and peter being closer partners and steve mentoring him is great, just as the idea of Tony mentoring him was a brilliant one the movies captalized on. But here it's just treated as a normal thing without really being used for a joke that this is so unusual. A large part of this is something that's easy to forget as it hasn't been true about the character since the early 2000's. Spidey.. used to be a bit of a loner when it came to the rest of the Marvel Universe. Granted he was the kind of loaner who had an entire ongoing dedicated to him teaming up with other heroes and a tv show where he had two super college roomies he'd fight crime with, but when it came to consistant teamups his only real super friends were the fantastic four and in a few years Daredevil. Spider-Woman existed, but Jessica was largely her own thing by design, with only the name in common and wouldn't really become an ally or even friend of peter's till they were in the avengers together. Peter would have team ups but he really wasn't super close with the rest of the marvel universe. This changed in the early 2000's as his joining the new avengers gave him a lot of new allies in the marvel universe: He'd be on the new avengers until Brian Micheal Bendis left the book, he joined HIckman's avengers for the first arc, with Doc Ock taking his place, and joined the Mighty Avengers and Mark Waid's avengers afterwords, only in the last few years taking a break from the group entirely, ironically as his MCU counterpart became heavily associated with them himself. Not only that the dawn of the spider-verse and miles migrating to become the 616's second spider-man, meant peter soon had a spider-family.

Even now in his current tirefire of a solo i've been purposfully avoiding but suspect i'l lhave to confront some day, he has Ms Marvel, soon to be thrown in the fridge, Norman Osborn, long story, and his current girlfriend the black cat. Peter's no longer the solo operator he once was.. but back then it's very weird fo ra parody of the character to just.. casually hang out with Captain America regularly and this angle was wisely dropped.

This isn't the only weird thing in this issue either. For some reason rather than pulling from peter's many rogues, the issue has him face the Masked Marauder, some punk ripping off a super high tech arcade. It comes off more like a Scooby Doo Mystery complete with various red herings and the actual culprit showing up early on. He's not even the main threat as the everlovin hulk is also shoved into this issue. His origin is a little neat, with Bruce Bunny being an arcade game maker who gets shoved into a cabinet.

The result though just isn't that funny. Ther'es a good joke about steve stashing his shield in his coat

But otherwise i'ts just kinda.. there and didn't leave the best first impression back when I first read it. It's nicely drawn, but dosen't have much actually to say or any really satire of the character. It's clear they had the name but no idea what to do with it. THe backup is pretty funny though, the weird Goose Rider, take a while guess, who just.. spends it riding around, thinking about grabbing a burger, and dealing iwth shouty civlians and some random doofus called chainsaw. This satire.. actually works as from what I can tell Ghost Rider's early rogues gallery before his reinvention in the 90's wasn't all that impressive with few exceptions. It's more what I wanted. Thankfully when Peter got his title shot, things perked up and by the time we get to his origin... we get something delightful.

As you can tell both by the cover used for this review and from the title, this one's a parody of spider-man no more. Even if you haven't read the story (I've only read the iconic issue iwth the cover), you've doubtlessly seen it's cover, and the various homages to both that and the shot of peter throwing his costume in the trash and walking away, both by spider-heroes and the rest of the marvel. It helps that Sam Rami choose it as the backbone of Spider-Man 2 and ended up making an even BETTER version of the story in the process. Even Miles had his own version of it after his mom died and he blamed himself for it since the second ultimate venom was the reason she died. If you've read more recent comics and seen Rio alive and well that's because Miles befriended the Molocule Man, a very shy man with the power to control molocules... which shockingly for comics has been treated every bit as horrifyingly powerful as it should since his introduction, with MM's only real wekaness being his crippling neurosis. So when the universe died and was put back, Molocule brought her back as a thank you present. I had a point here.. ah yes.. I love the Molocule Man and feel he's a highly underated character. Oh that with the severe stress and sacrifice of being a spider-man, it's not a huge leap to have that moment of doubt. And it's an even shorter leap to take that moment and parody it and Peter's angst for all it's worth. We open with J Jonah Jackal hooking himself up to an idea machine while his three young wards, the junior newsboys watch. They are Jermiah Jackal, JJJ's snooty nephew, Bunson Bunny, our resident nerd who talks in big snetences and Upton Adam Stray, a combination of a black sterotype and

If your getting some deja vu from a rich magnate having three young sidekicks who both acompany him and try to steer away his worse instincts, one of whom is jonah's literal nephew.. GOOD. It means you have good taste and also get the bit. Spider-Ham has a bit of the old Scrooge McDuck stories in it's dna, simply adding spider-man and his rogues to the mix, and really JJJ is such a perfect fit for scrooge and Peter for Donald, that I can't blame both writers for dipping into this formula when it fits spider-man shockingly well now he's a pig.

This issue is written by steven Mellor, who took over the title later in his run, but like Skeates does a really fun job with it.

With Jonah having peter come to the clubhouse to view an idea he came up with that involves the kids

Peter deals with typical spider-man things. That is trying to get a date with his ex Betty Bat. It goes about usual for peter

Also as you might have noticed, hilariously, Peter Porker looks a LOT like John Mulaney, despite having been created only one year after John was born. I mean he's also a talking pig but the hair is distractingly like his future voice actors and I love it.

Baby P decides to handle this like a mature, rational young swine

Before bemoaning that he's still single.. what I like is that Mellor both really gets how Peter Parker Mopey Rants work, and milks it with everyone starring not sure what to do as peter ineternally rants and the janitor eventually asking him to leave as he's getting his tears on the floor. Peter then reflects back to his origin, the reason we're here. And even for a talking pig.. peter's origin is hilaroiusly bizzare. It's my kind of weird shenanigans. Okay so in this version Peter.. was a spider, which is clever enough.. but May was a mad scientest who befriended peter and showed him her new invention: a fission powered hairdryer. It made her radoactive, it wasn't good.. and well... I can't say what happens next and have most of you belivie it actually happened so here's photographic evdience.

This.. this is comedy gold, and clever as all hell. Just deciding to have may be radioactive nad bite peter. It's as nuts as it is brilliant and I love it. So we get the standard origin moments of Peter testing out his powers.. and we also get a nice gag out of him bending a pipe in the original amazing fantasy #15

Peter returns to find may basically the dodering old lady sterotype she was in earlier spider-man comics, and decides to look after her and not tell her the truth, as well as put his powers to use. Peter's genius in this version is also from the bite and thus Spider-Ham is born

After running into flash thompsons counterpart, who sadly isn't named flash beagle, we get jonah's meeting where he's dressed himself and the boys up in superhero outfits and ...

To become Black Beagle and his beagle brigadeers. Peter is dragged along for this and this.. is easily the weakest part of the issue. While the idea of Jonah becoming a hero himself is great and has been used well, here it's just kinda there and is mostly a setup for them to befriend "Andy Warthog" and see a bunch of celebrity pastiches. It's a boring page or two

Thankfully it picks up with a delightful parody of one of my faviorite spider-man rogue as the Hobgobbler crashes the party! God bless this pun. He kidnaps one of the celebrties and we get a ncie character moment. Despite how silly this character and his origin are... it's still neat to see the core of spider-man.. is still present.

No matter the universe, no matter who wears the mask... they can't turn down responsiblity. Try as he might.. Peter just can't let someone else get hurt if he can help it and that's what makes spider-man the hero we love so much: that drive to help people no matter what it takes. It's what makes a spider-person what they are wethere they be man, woman, ham or nb.

So Peter naturally wins, in a nicely drawn fight, cooks the turkey and drive sJonah home. He WANTS to just get some deserved sleep but Aunt May has other plans.. thankfully said plans give our hero his much deserved happy ending. Action is already his reward.

As you can probably figure, this issue is a massive improvment and it's clear even with two diffrent writers, the full ongoing got the concept better and more importantly had more fun with it. The result.. is fucking great. Also the puns. Dear lord the puns. And that's not getting into the backup which has the scavengers fight kangaroo the conquerer. Who damn well better be among the council of kangs. At any rate this issue was greatr and even with the brief slowdown, is a great issue, not only getting me reintrested in this run, but also showing off just what you can do with a parody: have it be both heartfelt and clearly get what it's making fun of while still being great.

Next Time: The web ends as we look at the movie itself. Anyone can wear the mask but is one Miles Morales up to the task? Can he fill peter's shoes? Well yeah, I mean there's even a sequel, but it's still one hell of a ride.

[bbnibini]

Hey! I hope everyone liked the bday art! (The one made by soumerinne was actually done around early this year around the time the Asmo version is finished lol; in Tagalog we call that "advanced mag-isip" lol). To followers waiting for PSISLY updates promised today, please go to my AO3. The tumblr crosspost will take a while to be integrated here more than usual since CSS and the HTMLs broke on me (one of the codes that worked fine when it was in drafts wasn't working anymore when I published it ADjslkfjsdjfsd) I know it's been rough for official obey me content but it won't affect my release schedule for this fic. Happy birthday to the best character in the series(biased). I'm so happy he has more fans! He needs more love! <3