#NEVER EXPECTED TO WIN THIS HARD
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ON MY TOMBSTONE THEY WONT HAVE MY NAME JUST THESE TWO PICTURES
#BEING A KYRALEX SHIPPER IN 2020 AND NOW GETTING THOSE OH MY GOD IM INSANE#NEVER EXPECTED TO WIN THIS HARD#HURRY UP S3 HURRY UP#Alex rider#alex rider season 3#scorpia#alex and kyra#kyralex#kyra vashenko-chao#alex rider tv
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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can anyone please tell me how to defeat this battle?? It’s been three days and I haven’t even come close to winning 😭😭
#the fact that I can’t pass this battle which isn’t even that hard in the grand scheme of things makes me fear how the other battles would#be going forward 😭😭#LIKE IDK HOW THEY EXPECT ME TO WIN WHEN MY HP IS LITERALLY IN THE GUTTER 😭😭#I’m never unlocking 1-7 at this rate 💔💔💔#bloo plays reverse: 1999#reverse: 1999
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yay yippee yay :3 🎉
#just me hi#making things i will never ever show to anybody: 💫💫💥💫💫 pfshvbh#you know when you personal-art so hard it could literally be nuclear if anybody saw it. Yeagh kfhsvhjgs#:3 ehehehe [<- pleased]#i love you writing + art combo. i Am giving you a very deep grave though i won't lie <3#//anyway thought i was gonna get flamed today cuz i wouldn't let my mom look at some doobles i had in my sketchbook lmfsvhghs#gay 😔#but we just went out for snacks and she was just talking about a lot of random stuff lol :) chilling comes out on top yet again 👍💥#//anyway i gotta do some studies ᴗ.ᴗ [<- the urge to do it and the desire to Never Ever]#wanna get better at anatomy :/ and shading lmao :/ [<- does not want to do it so bad]#and also backgrounds :// but one step at a time man i don't know what a lighting is lfmvshj#shaking myself by the shoulders like you are GOING to enjoy it at some point it's not the end of enjoyment forever !!#me n mine are going to argue back and forth about it until i finally get it done so [tosses hands in the air]#hopefully i get to it today :) i haven't been trying to do timelapses this past year but maybe i'll do that when i get around to it :>#getting the funk out of the Lagoons means i realized i have been dropping a lot of things i thought were neat over time and i'm tryna pick#them back up lol :3#downside is that where i was dropping things i was picking up anxiety which is Really Cool and Epic#the Most counterintuitive function of the brain i think. doing their best but man it's like putting a rat in a room made of cheese while#it's pouring rain outside and expecting it not to start chowing down lmaoo#//anyway yea!! my things :33#kinda Do want to do studies now Yippee !!! i win yet again ehe >:3#so toodles ciao pop toodles >wó
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how do terfs grapple with the fact that they're white supremacist losers who think that women are weak essentially like adult babies but that they also bear the apparent brunt of all human pain... liiike ok which narrative are we going with
#you can't have it both ways and i thought the whole point of a 'women empowerment movement' (they aren't that. don't worry. ik)#was that women were strong and capable of doing anything... but then they complain about women losing sports#like first of all why is SPORTS of all things the crux of your entire argument on gender theory#and second of all sports are not cooshy soft shit anyways... they've always been incredibly violent (varies depending on the sport ofc)#like especially if you're going to the olympics for boxing i do not know why you'd expect not to get hit hard LMAO??? it's not like she died#it's this narrative of women's fragility that really only comes into play with white women bc let's be real here... terfs are mainly white#and also is so funny to put into a sports argument because not only are you making women look bad by essentially saying they#aren't good at whatever sport they're playing and therefore need to have a strict sex-based caste system in place so they can win#and also never get any injuries??? in sports??? which are highly competitive and where most injuries happen???#but also you're saying that physical strength is directly proportional to gender which is also very much not true. if that dumb bitch#was up against a different woman who was like a bodybuilder or weight lifter she still would have lost because she fucking sucks#meanwhile so many men have fucking noodle arms. it's just ridiculous to push this narrative like someone being biologically male doesn't#make them better at sports or stronger just like being biologically female doesn't make you worse at spoets or weaker#people are sooooo fucking different more than you could even imagine with your little peabrain#but you wanna be racist and evil so bad because you don't like cock and balls on women#this is just embarrassing at this point like some people aren't born completely one way or the other and some have hormone imbalances.#doesn't make them any less of whatever they are.#i don't understand why fucking genitalia gets people so tripped up but of course of society is so sex-based how can it not i guess lmao#imagine getting so scared that someone w/ a penis is going to rape you on a constant basis that you basically say we need to be eugenicists#you realize you can hold men who rape people accountable AND be a decent human being... right? it's actually very easy
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(Same Webber anon AGAIN I’m so sorry)
You were so right for saying how post/present constant Webber wouldn’t want to turn back. Old Webber never got any attention from his father, Old Webber lived on a farm, getting most of his company from his mom, his grandpa, and the goats. New Webber. Spider Webber has friends, he has family, he has over 7 adults all concerned with his survival and safety. (Assuming all the survivors live in 1 camp) he has at least one canonical friend in Wendy, they have tea parties and dress up to look like each other (Wendy’s quote for the top hat and the switcherdoodles), Wendy dares him to drink growth formula.
AND THAT’S NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE SPIDERS THEMSELVESSSSSSSS AAAUUGGHHH.
In the Wurt short we see the spiders are at least sort of like cats!! They bat at each other and hiss like 2 cats fighting because one was just a bit too close to the other. And we see a spider leave to the den, TO GO HANG OUT WITH WEBBER!!!!! His spiders are happy to be his allies!!! They’re happy with his decorations on the den!! Hell, in Don’t Starve, he probably died with his spiders, and they just ate the corpse, because that’s what spiders do!!!!
So yes. You are so right in saying that Webber wouldn’t want to turn back into a non-hybrid.
Again. I am so sorry for ranting, have a good day
no youre so real. you have to speak ur truth. i don't hear anyone else talk abt webber very much so i'm willing 2 support webber propaganda
#ask#its one of the reasons why i found it so strange that he won the popularity poll#not that he SHOULDN'T have. its just that. like.#i dont see a lot of die hard webber fans. most people i see who like him just like him bc he's cute#which is fine!!!! i just didn't expect him to win because i never hear anyone TALK about him you know#i was completely unprepared
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2. job headcanon
for mikami or light?? so interested in ur law experience here!
Oh love this!! I think Mikami is exceptionally good at his job and probably a good guy to have as a coworker. Passionate about the work, keeps his head down, in it because he genuinely wants change (which is about as good as you can ask for from a prosecutor, even though the "change" isn't reform lmfao 🙄) etc. etc. He's on the young end for an attorney, having passed the bar right out of college (though I believe it's more common in Japan to go directly to law school from college rather than returning as an adult, since many people don't go at all and rather take the preliminary qualifying exam for the bar, which does not require a law degree — Mikami may or may not [depending on whether you go by the manga or anime timeline] have attended law school as a graduate program anyway bc the law school system was not instituted in Japan until 2004), which means he might have to work a little harder to be respected by his colleagues as a whippersnapper fresh out of the year-long prosecutor training program. However, I think his colleagues probably admire his work ethic, even if he's unlikely to join the rest of the office for drinks — so, respected and liked well enough by the people he works with, but still kind of socially unpopular just because of his own standoffish tendencies. He maybe has freaked somebody out individually by saying some surprisingly aggressive shit about the nature of good and evil and how evil deeds should be punished but frankly dudes like that are a dime a dozen in prosecutorial and police offices so it's probably whatever.
He's a total fucking pit bull in court and imo probably really good at telling a compelling story to the judge since his passion for obtaining what he views as justice for victims is so real and close to his heart. I imagine him as a real firebrand who almost transforms from this solemn, mild-mannered guy to this vibrant, angry advocate who's very capable of swaying a jury and really demonstrates the emotional basis for his Kira fanaticism. But he's not purely an emotional performer — his arguments are airtight from a legal perspective, even though his written voice is probably kind of dry and lacking in any particular linguistic flair. People who have only met him in a courtroom context are often surprised at what he's like in his day-to-day life, but they wouldn't be if they'd ever read his legal briefs, lmao.
I like to imagine Light in a non- or post-Kira AU going on to join a Japanese intelligence agency like the Public Security Bureau of either the NPA or the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, specifically in a line of work like the TMPD PSB's Fourth Foreign Affairs Division handling global counterterrorism efforts. I imagine this because I think it would be funny. I also think he would be well-qualified for a role of that type (The Global Terrorism Is Coming From Inside The House) and would have the nepotism bonus from his dad lmfao, and would additionally probably really enjoy it when it was exciting and politely tolerate the boring parts. I think he'd be well-liked and admired by his peers, as usual — we can see the way the task force treats him for evidence of this. He's a hard, competent worker and a friendly guy, so I imagine he moves up the ranks relatively quickly. (Also, the PSB building is right by the Tokyo Public Prosecutors Office, so if Mikami ever moves out of Kyoto and gets a job over there, I know they're making out in the courtyard and shit.)
#thank you!! this was a fun one#I could talk a LOT about what I expect Mikami FEELS about his job and the Japanese legal system but this post would get really really long#I think there's a lot of disillusionment there when he realizes the law is an imperfect tool to enact his idea of justice#(which is why Kira is so important to him)#but he never works any less hard because of it — he's still trying to score the wins he can against the forces of chaos and evil or w/e
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amity would not want to share memories in general, but if the tadpole connection let anyone see any memories of her when she was younger/before she started trying to be an adventurer -- when she mingled with other patriars, and tried to engage in high society -- amity would be mortified and extremely apologetic -- "sorry you had to see me like that, how awful!"
she wouldn't have that same feeling if the memory being shared is one where she's getting her ass kicked, even if it's one of the ones where she's REAL fucked up, bc yeah it's a bit embarrassing to be seen in that moment where she got stabbed in the gut AND had an arrow sticking out of her shoulder AND was nursing an incredibly broken nose, but if someone happens to see one of those, yeah, sure, whatever. no apologies for how she looks there.
on a purely superficial level, this is a little funny. because, to be clear, amity is a pretty girl. even now, when she's fucked up her hair with careless knife haircuts, and her skin isn't in the best condition (she uses her One Bar Of Soap for everything on the road, bc it's important to be clean, and it's efficient!) and she's dressed plainly and practically and is constantly dusty at a minimum, and bloodstained and ragged on a fairly regular basis.
so in those memories of her at court? she's radiant. she kept her hair long for years, and it was in much better condition before she started cutting it herself and washing it with The Same Fucking Bar Of Soap She Uses For Everything Else, and her curl pattern was still intact then. and she dressed the part of the only daughter of a nobleman; very fashionable, well-tailored gowns and garments. superficially, she looked gorgeous.
but of course, it isn't really about that. in her eyes it's all awful. everything from that time is. she has shame attached to all those attempts to be a part of high society. back then, she was just making a fool out of herself, trying to be seen as something other than what she was, for people who would always see through her. and whenever she thinks about how she looked then -- the time and effort involved in letting her hair be meticulously styled and braided and brushed out and outfitted and decorated, and sometimes feeling eager, hopeful even, to be involved, when she should have known better. should have known it would never end like she wanted.
she might not like how she looks now but she at least feels like she's doing something worthwhile -- trying to help people who need help. the act of fighting for someone is a noble pursuit and the trying was worth it, even if it didn't work out well for her in that moment.
#but honestly she would not want to share any memories at all#the only way you're getting those out of her is if she somehow doesn't notice the tadpoles trying to make a connection while she's lost in#thought#or if someone strongarmed their way past the mental shields she throws up#and they would really have to push HARD. it wouldn't be subtle.#bc 1. she does not want anyone burdened by having to perceive her any more than is necessary#and 2. she would just not like to be perceived please and thank you#amity tag#but that's trauma baby#you look best when you're happy#and she was not happy then#i wonder if the downsize was her idea#her father never liked attending parties and having to be away from his work so he would only consent to it when he Had to#and so any help in dressing/prepping/grooming would be aimed towards amity#hired on because that was the expectation#after amity cuts off her hair the first time -- not as dramatic as the knife-shorn adventurer look but still losing a good 2+ feet of hair#she suggests that maybe she and her father and uncle ekil can run things just fine themselves#and they can divert the funds they would've spent on hired help to the business. win-win right?#RIP to ekil for having to eat their cooking from that point forward tho#bg3 blogging
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I think it’s the seasonal darkness but this dental stuff feels like the last straw
#went to the dentist for the first time in over two years. not great#my home care has always been spotty but these last few months I’ve been really trying#and at first I was really happy and the new hygienist seemed not completely dismayed#minor gingivitis in back (I used to be at risk for periodontal disease) and like no tartar. gums still bleedy and inflamed but tbh?#a huge win! a great win! I’ve had cleanings that were just cleaning and disappointment so the first was great#dark shadow under one of my fillings. that sucks but it’s been two years so I probably need a new one#doc comes in and. unfortunately. immediately got to work#so when she said I needed a crown and three fillings on my front teeth it was kinda hard not be upset with the new stranger?#idk man. it’s hard to be pleased about the little step forward when there’s over 1k in procedures looming over me#and logically I know it’s not a step backwards. it’s literally consequences from the thing I’ve spent the last month improving#specifically bc it was gonna have consequences like this#and frankly! it’s not that bad! two years ago I had multiple caries that the dentist warned me could get bad and they didn’t!#but I never thought I’d have front teeth fillings. and a crown makes me feel bad bc I wasn’t expecting it#really fighting a losing battle against the feeling that dental care doesn’t matter anymore bc of these#which is not true. and is silly. bc only with this care and more can I keep my mouth from having this happen again so soon#it’s just really bumming me out#I was really proud and now I feel really ashamed bc the habits were bad and my fixing it now doesn’t really matter#bc it was bad then and affected me bc I didn’t fix it then. and I’m frustrated#edit: I took a fifteen minute break and fixed this btw#I’m old enough to afford doing this mentally and financially. the me who made these mistakes originally thought she’d be dead at 17#and now I’m carrying it bc she couldn’t. I’ve never been good at regretting or despairing at my past haha#I’ll do my best (and sometimes it won’t be perfect) bc I’ve taken better care in these last two month than in the two years preceding#why wouldn’t i be proud. of course it matters. I’ll fix this to fix her mistakes and make it easier for the one after me#this self love shit is easy ajskdlf
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I always forget this wasn’t a thing everywhere but my high school had a fun and innovative way to torment us in PE. They got heart rate monitors. It was this awful strap that went under the bra line and paired to a watch. The first day was great cause we got to set our resting heart rate. We did this by laying in a dark room and napping.
But then once a week we’d have to strap on these monitors and go running. The monitors were old tech and didn’t always pick up your heartbeat, so you’d have to use cold water between it and your skin to get a better connection, gods know why. Warm water never worked. After the day our watches would be collected and our efforts recorded.
The idea was that if your heart beat too fast you were supposed to stop, and if it was too slow you’d speed up. In practice this was ridiculous, staying in the green zone all class was ridiculously difficult.
Even people like me who were stubbornly resistant to running the mile couldn’t stand the horrific constant beeping and made attempts to placate the reviled machine. It was always fairly miserable. I had PE first thing in the chilly morning, dashing cold water on my skin before running around half awake was the low point of my week.
But for some unknown reason, the teacher insisted that no play could happen on these days. We were given the freedom to run all over campus but woe betide us if we tried to make a game that actually made this enjoyable.
We’d initiate games of tag only to get yelled at for not just… running. Any kind of play was forbidden. On one memorable occasion someone got a kickball and we started an impromptu soccer game with it.
If someone’s heart rate got too high they’d drop to their knees to wait out the shrieking of their watch so an extra element was added to the game of trying to win without going too hard. I remember being absolutely delighted, the thrill of that game still lives in my heart, hoping I could score a goal before my heartbeat betrayed me to the hated watch.
When the PE teacher found us we were soundly scolded and the ball was confiscated. Our happiness burst like a soap bubble and we turned our back to the enchantment of the green field and resumed slogging along in a grey haze as expected.
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Might quit my job
#quitting my job to become a full time tumblr user#the intrusive thoughts r winning!! (im about to quit my job and self isolate like never before)#i will be seeking out a better job if/when i quit this shithole#i knoww i KNOWWW it looks better to already have a job but do u know how hard it is to find a new job when ur current job makes u EXHAUSTED#expect lots of tumblr posts and a continuation of the saw comic if/when i quit bcs i will finally have time and energy to do so#also expect me to be super depressed and desperate for human connection but thats me all the time anyways LMAO
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>is actually hungry for the first time in two weeks
>eats
My body: "what the fuck is wrong with you. Why would you do that. We weren't hungry what the fuck. Pain suffering agony misery woe be upon ye."
#ed mention in tags#this is why I hate eating. if I eat my body tries to kill me. if I Don't eat my body tries to kill me. I can't win.#doesn't matter what I eat when I eat how I eat I'm always just gonna suffer#which is why it's so damn easy for me to just. not do it. which I know is bad but also I'm a 'recovering' anorexic. what do u expect.#like genuinely I fucking despise food. if I could go the rest of my life without eating I would do it in a heartbeat.#I have never once felt better after eating. it just makes my entire body feel worse all the time.#and it's so hard to even physically eat in the first place when I'm so nauseous and dizzy 24/7 I go abt my day feelin like im gonna thro up#if it's so damn important to survive. why does every part of my body reject it on every possible level.#like. I'm not even expressing it fully or properly here. it's fucking deep and visceral and violent and exhausting. im so done.#armchair speaks#food mention#eating mention
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wanna hear your mother tongue
[gn! reader x dan heng, jing yuan, blade, jiaoqiu, ratio, aventurine, sunday, & boothill (separate)]
Thinking about how some of the HSR men would react to you calling them a term of endearment in a different language/your native language when you two are NOT an established couple... (for me it would be something along the lines of “cariño” or “mi vida,” but of course you’re welcome to imagine any term from any language that suits you best!)
DAN HENG is confused the first few times you use the nickname. His brow will furrow and he may even adorably tilt his head a bit. He knows by your affectionate tone that it’s not anything bad, but of course, it doesn’t stop him from wanting to know exactly what it means.
He’ll turn to the data bank to look into the term’s origin and meaning, which causes him to fall down a rabbit hole of learning other terms of endearment from your language. You can expect him to shyly call you an endearment back the next time you use one on him, and he’s certainly blushing all the while.
JING YUAN’s smirk and the sparkle in his eyes the first time you let the term of endearment fall from your lips are indicators that you’ve made a terrible mistake. Whether or not you’re familiar with the dialect of the Alliance, he’ll fire a nickname from his own mother tongue right back at you, trying to gain the upper hand by flustering you instead.
And by Lan, does he succeed; you’ll keep the name-calling private and save it for when you two are alone, but he has no qualms about showering you with affection in front of a fleet of Cloud Knights, or even in front of the esteemed Fu Xuan. Good luck trying it on this one— you’ll find yourself in a full-scale flirting war, and this is a battle you can’t win.
BLADE isn’t the most emotive guy out there (when he’s not mara-struck), so it’s hard to gauge his reaction, at first. His blank expression makes it seem like the nicknames just roll off his back, so after a while, you stop using them under the presumption that they make him uncomfortable.
This has the opposite effect, of course, and he starts being a bit clingier than usual and following you around with what is most definitely not a pout on his face. It’s only when Kafka unsubtly points out that you’ve stopped calling him those “cute nicknames” that you put two and two together, and you immediately work to make things right. He may not be the best with words, but he’s happy to show his contentment with your endearments by holding you close to him.
JIAOQIU is flustered the first time, flushing red and ears twitching as he tries to compose himself after being caught off guard. Every time after that, though, he grins and graces you with those gorgeous golden eyes when he hears it. His tail may even start swishing from happiness, but you’ll never comment on it aloud, fearing that he’ll consciously stop it from happening.
His reaction is enough on its own to encourage you to keep calling him those sweet names, but you’re certainly not complaining about the delicious food that he starts bringing you in droves. (It doesn’t have anything to do with your little nicknames, don’t be silly.)
VERITAS most certainly knows what the term means, and that causes him to be even more flustered the first time you use it on him. He’s flushed from head to toe, and whatever tangent he was about to go on is completely lost to him, instead replaced by his silence as he hurriedly leaves wherever you’ve decided to pull this over on him.
He’s prepared the next time you do it, though. He doesn’t so much as bat an eye at the endearment, but he does continue the conversation in your language, speaking it flawlessly. Now it’s your turn to be flustered as you realize you enjoy hearing him speak in your mother tongue more than you care to admit. If there’s a slight smirk on his face from your reaction, neither of you acknowledge it.
AVENTURINE’s reaction is the reverse of how you would expect someone to react: flirt first, get flustered later. He doesn’t need any encouragement to be flirtatious with you, so when he hears the unfamiliar endearment for the first time, he assumes it’s just a normal part of this little game you two have been playing with each other. It’s easy for him to respond with endearments he’d heard older Avgins using growing up, and he even feels a bit giddy being able to use them on you.
Of course, he’s looking up meanings every time a new term pops up in your vocabulary, and his behavior takes a turn when he realizes you’ve started using more intimate endearments— ones typically reserved for spouses instead of those used for casual flirting. You think Aventurine looks good in any color, but you’re definitely partial to the light pink that graces his cheeks when he gets shy.
SUNDAY has been trained to remain carefully composed at all times, but nothing could have prepared him for this. He’s another one that I think would actually know what the endearment means, so he’s immediately blushing and hiding behind his wings— a futile effort, since they’re fluttering far too much to properly serve as a curtain for his flushed face. Once he gathers his bearings, he continues your conversation and acts like it never happened.
He reacts this way the first few times, but as you persist in your efforts, he decides to start playing along. He’s not one to flirt back verbally— he couldn’t possibly make his intentions too obvious— but he does take pleasure in the fact that he can have the same effect on you. If you try to comment on the way that he stands and sits much closer to you now or that his hands linger on your skin far longer than usual, an expression of innocence and casual deflection is all you’re met with. And don’t you dare try to take the endearments back from him now— he’ll only fluster you more until you start calling him those pretty names again.
BOOTHILL takes a few seconds to realize exactly what’s happening, but once he does, you’re in danger. His confusion at the word almost distracts him from the tone you used while saying it, but he catches on quickly and is grinning widely when he does, all sharp teeth and adoration. He returns the favor in kind, and from that point forward you can expect to exclusively be referred to as “sweetheart,” “sugar,” “beau,” and the like.
He can’t get enough of the way the words roll off your tongue, and the sound of it gets him more drunk than any whiskey ever could. Keep things up, and you might find yourself being pulled toward him by the waist as he puts his hat on your head, finally making his feelings for you crystal clear.
#incredibly self-indulgent post#i admit this started with me imagining calling sunday “cariño” and it spiraled from there#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr dan heng x reader#dan heng x reader#hsr jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x reader#hsr blade x reader#blade x reader#hsr jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x reader#hsr ratio x reader#ratio x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader#hsr boothill x reader#boothill x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#ceru.writes
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HUSBAND SUGURU! + PREGNANCY ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
tags: fem! reader, husband suguru!, nsfw, suguru is very hesitant about being a dad, but isnt forced into this :), reader is very motherly, dirty talk and talk about getting off the pill and being bred.
word count: 2,1k
Husband Suguru! whom before you even got married, sat you down and mentioned to you how starting a family wasn’t something he was looking forward to. you know of his past, of the trauma he’s been through. he fully expects you to break up with him when he tells you that, knows how much you want to have a baby of your own, but you don’t. instead, you cradle him in your arms and tell him that you love him and appreciate what you have right now, not what you don’t even see in the picture.
Husband Suguru! who swears he hasn’t changed his mind about babies, about starting a family in general even three years into the marriage. but when he sees you with your friend’s baby, the glow on your face, the motherly instinct—how you gently place your hand on the baby’s head, rock her back and forth and coo at her softly while her mother gets her food ready, his heart feels as though it is about to explode.
“There there baby girl,” your voice is barely above a whisper, and when the baby cries, your lip juts out and you pull the infant towards your chest in an attempt at soothing her. your eyes find his where he is sitting on the couch, and the lighthearted chuckle you give him pulls a nervous one out of his body. you are now convinced that your husband would never ever change his mind based on the horror painting his features as he turns to your friend’s husband to strike a conversation. but in reality, the topic of their conversation is all too surprising.
“Has it been difficult? You know, managing a career and taking care of the baby,”
“Oh yeah very,” the other man admits but Suguru doesn’t detect a single hint of regret in his voice. “but yknow, look at that,” he point his glass of water in the direction of his wife and you holding the baby. “seeing my wife with our baby, our creation—seeing her act all motherly like that? Totally worth it.”
Husband Suguru! who starts to consider the idea of getting you pregnant. he hopes for the rational part of his brain to win over, rather than the horny, disgustingly perverted one. but when you walk out of the shower in a crop top, his mind drifts elsewhere—and suddenly, the image of your belly swollen with his kids floods his mind and he has to put a pillow on his crotch to hide the very evident bulge in his pants.
Husband Suguru! who once he calms down and takes care of his raging boner, texts Satoru in a hurry, asking if they could meet up tomorrow morning. your husband tells you of his plans and you hum sleepily, telling him how catching up with his best friend seems like a good idea. Suguru drops the bomb on his best friend the moment they sit down and the ivory haired’s jaw almost meets the floor.
“You mean you wanna be a dad?”
“I’m not…too sure,” Suguru looks conflicted, he is holding his head in his hands. he knows very well that this is a topic that should be discussed with you, since you were the other person of interest in the situation. but he would hate to give you false hope, he’s seen the way your eyes light up at the mention of a baby, at one of your friends or colleagues being pregnant, how there’s a disappointed look on your face that you try so hard to conceal when Suguru gives you a face in response of a pregnancy announcement. but you are so patient, so accepting, you’ve never once forced him into anything. and truth be told, he wanted to see what kind of mother you would be to your baby—and then toddler, and then teenager and adult—you’d have a life together with a new person who would adapt either your personality or his, with a face of the love of his life. your baby could have your eyes and nose, he’s always pointed them out—even before you started dating.
“Dude, do you or do you not want to have a baby?”
“I don’t know man, it’s hard to think of.”
“Because you are thinking too hard about it,” Satoru says nonchalantly and it irks Suguru a little.
“I am not thinking too hard about it—this is a new responsibility, what if I am not fit to be a dad? I could be a failure for all we know—what if I pussy out of it and—“
“I would kill you.” Satoru warns the man and Suguru doesn’t try to hide how he stiffens up. “I am not joking, I would find you and bring you back to her as a sack of bones,”
“I wouldn’t betray her like that…”
“You’re too focused on the aspect of being a bad dad rather than a good one—yknow, you really think that she’d marry someone she doesn’t see fit as the future father of her children?” Satoru has a point. you did mention to him once (when Suguru was nowhere to be seen at a party you all attended) how falling in love with him was the best thing that’s ever happened to you, but the one thing that would top it is if he became a father to your children. Satoru, knowing his best friend’s stance on the topic, reminded you of how terrified the man was of the idea and all you did was give him a reassuring, understanding wave of your hands.
“I know, but I just know he’d love them hard and make them feel as safe as he makes me feel.”
Husband Suguru! who doesn’t really try to bring up the topic of ‘trying for a baby’. he cringes at the thought, feels as though it makes the process less romantic and intimate and more of a robotic task. as he is stripping you of your clothes, he is silent and lets his eyes wander over your figure. you are extremely shy tonight, unable to meet his eyes as his rough, calloused hands brush over the skin of your boobs before bending down to be at eye level with them. he brings the flesh inside his mouth and sucks—and blood rushes down to his groin at the thought of them being filled with milk, heavy and swollen, more sensitive than usual. his teeth graze the skin at an attempt to catch your attention and your thighs squeeze as you meet his eyes.
“Sugu…” your smaller hands rest on his face as he pulls away from your boobs to plant a heated kiss to your lips, effectively pushing you back on the bed. your back gently hits the mattress, and your chest is heaving in anticipation, unsure of what his next move would be.
“Baby,” he finally speaks up, nose brushing against your stomach as he brings his lips to the skin. “how about you drop the pill tomorrow?” he knows how much of a horrible job he is doing at this, but he feels you move, supporting yourself on your elbows.
“w-why would I do that?” your eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, and Suguru wishes to brush his thumb over the tense skin of your forehead.
Suguru is shameless as he kisses further south, planting his kiss above the tuft of your pubic hair before pushing your panties to the side. He parts the lips and gives your clit a kiss before moving to your inner thighs.
“why not? It’s doing horrible things to your body—“ he brushes his nose over your clit as he speaks. “beside, we need you off the pill if we want a baby, don’t you think?” when you don’t react to his words, Suguru looks up only to find you staring down at him with parted lips and eyes glossed over with tears.
“…are you sure?” you ask softly, and your husband swears he could never say no to you if you asked like that all the time.
“very,”
Husband Suguru! who fucks you with a new purpose. each drive of his hips fueling the other to go harder, deeper, to keep pushing his cum inside you and plant his seed deep within. your cunt does a great job at showing Suguru how ecstatic and excited you are with his sudden change of heart. you keep squeezing around him, barely able to keep your sounds in—he fucks you so deeply that the sound of skin to skin is louder than your moans and his groans. when he puts you on all fours, the cum starts to drip out of you but he pushes it back in with two thick fingers, lips pressed to your ass cheek.
“want more?”
“mmm! please,” you whine when he aligns his tips with your folds and fixes your arch with a hand on the small of your back. the gasp that escapes your lips when he fucks into you hard makes Suguru chuckle and he rubs your sides, soothing you.
“no need to beg for it,” he leans down and presses a kiss to your nape. “I’d gladly fill you up.”
Husband Suguru! who stiffens up when you show him the positive pregnancy test. up until this point, he is in control of his emotions—he lets you cry in his arms about how scary all of this was, despite you saying you’ve always wanted a baby. he is supportive, understanding of the heightened emotions that you are experiencing—when he sees your tears turn into happy ones, only half of him is able to relax. clearly, he is nervous but he doesn’t wanna show it. not right now.
The first ultrasound during your pregnancy was nerve racking—your hand squeezed your husband’s as you stared at the screen showing what appeared to be your unborn baby. Very tiny, but still there.
“Okay mom and dad,” the doctor presses the ultrasound transducer a bit lower on your stomach, a small smile on his face. “I got some news for you.”
“Good?” your anxious voice has Suguru rubbing his thumb on the back on your hand.
“It depends, how long have you been trying for this baby?” You couldn’t exactly disclose of your very active sex life, but you do give the doctor hints that it was definitely wanted.
“Well, look over here—“ he points to the screen with his gloved finger, ushering Suguru to come closer. “Look over here dad, what do you see?”
Suguru swallows hard as he stares at the screen in confusion, unsure of what to say. “..a baby?”
“Babies. Congratulations, you’re pregnant with twins.”
Your husband whips his head towards you fast, and you cover your mouth in shock. This wasn’t planned—twins? And for a first time? You didn’t know if the tears streaming down your face were of excitement or fear that maybe you weren’t ready for this.
But Suguru still comforts you, holds you in his arms—tells you that maybe finding out the gender won’t make all of this sound scary anymore. He knew you never really had a preference for gender—you were a natural mom.
However, finding out the gender was an emotional experience for the same man who never thought he would become a father.
Husband Suguru! who tells Satoru to buy the gender reveal cake for you two. he doesn’t want to throw a party, and neither do you. finding out within the privacy of your own home seemed like the best option—you didn’t want to reveal that you were pregnant to any family members—at least not yet.
“Are you ready?” You hold your own glass as you wait for your husband to stand next to you. Your bump wasn’t that evident yet, but signs of pregnancy were starting to show on your body and it brought this warm feeling to Suguru’s body.
“Yeah, hold my hand.” You chuckle slightly at his request but comply either way. Each of you holds their own glass above the cake before looking away as you push it down—you hold your breath, Suguru rests his forehead on your shoulder as he mumbles something about not being able to look at the cake. But you muster up the courage and lift your glass, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.
“Sugu—“ you don’t need to tell him to look, he was already staring at the glass with teary eyes. The pink frosting wasn’t something he was expecting to see—he knew he was going to be happy with either but two little girls? His own baby girls—the thought of being a girl dad brings tears to his eyes and you’re quickly pulling him towards you.
“Oh baby,” you hold back your own tears as you comfort your emotional husband, his arms wrapped around your middle. You hear little sniffles and a hand rubs your back before feeling a pair of lips pressed to your forehead.
“Gonna be the prettiest mom to the prettiest girls. Ever.”
note: my posts are all self indulgent at this point… enjoy :D
2023: all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.
#moon's works#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto smut#geto fluff#geto suguru fluff#geto suguru smut#jjk geto#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#geto headcanons#jjk getou#suguru geto#jujutsu kaisen getou#jujutsu kaisen geto#getou suguru#getou suguru x reader#jujutsu geto#geto x you#geto x y/n
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Loving him was never enough
you don’t have what logan needs, but he still takes all that he can.
Cage fighter!logan x reader. Mentions of violence. Porn with a little bit of plot. mdni; 18+
thinking about being logan’s plaything in his cage fighting days.
It’s not uncommon for the fighters to have a beautiful girl around their arms as they enter the ring, and though Logan usually resists against the fan girls who clamour around him in a frenzy, he figures a sweet thing like you could only do him some good.
Not only does it piss the other fighters off, (they hate to see the king of the cage also have a pretty girl like you beside him) turns out, you’re not half bad for company either.
You’re an anxious little thing, brows furrowed and eyes teary before every match. Logan doesn’t bother telling you that he’ll be fine, that he’s going to win guaranteed, that his punch is as hard as metal. Literally.
He hates to admit it, but he finds it endearing, the way you’re so worried for him. through his nonchalant front, he still wipes away your tears with his large hands before every match and reassures you, cooing, “I’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
When logan gets in the ring, the fight goes exactly as he expects it to go. The other guy is destroyed before logan even shows his true strength. In a spiteful and humiliating position, the fallen guy comments something like, “I’ll fuck your pretty girlfriend dumb.”
Logan hears, of course, and though the guy is already bleeding and sprawled over the mat on the ground in a pathetic display, and though logan definitely didn’t consider you his girlfriend, he throws the announcer to the side and pounces. Through gritted teeth and a bleeding forehead, he catches your eye, shaking his head lightly before knocking the other guy out.
You wait for him in the small public washroom afterwords, arms crossed and pouting. As Logan approaches the door and sees your stiff pacing around the room, he knows you’re mad. And he knows it won’t stay that way.
“‘was so worried, logan,” you practically run towards him, “why’d you have to go after him like that? he could’ve really hurt you.”
He scoffs and flashes you the fresh wad of cash. “Hurt me? Please.”
He stays still for as long as he can bear while you dab at the wound on his head with your sleeve, silently hoping you wouldn’t notice the red cut slowly healing by itself. When you try to touch his face, to run a finger down his cheek and his stubble, he grabs your wrist harshly to stop you.
You’re confused, confused as to why he allows you to trail along to his every fight and wipes your tears with such a gentle hand, but refuses to let you in. He doesn’t give you much time to think, though, because as soon as you part your lips to speak, he’s picking you up from under your arms and sitting you down on the cold sink counter.
there’s an aggressive desperation behind his kiss, probably produced by the adrenaline of the recent fight and triggered by the soft whine he heard from you when his teeth knocked against yours. His hand reaches down between your legs and drags your panties to the side, and before long, you’re biting his shoulder and mumbling, “‘gonna cum, logan, please, let me cum.”
He does, drawing out your short orgasm with a few more pumps of his fingers and a graze over your clit. When he’s done, you’re practically already numb, head limp on his shoulder as you hear the metal clinking of his belt.
“You want this?” He asks, holding your head up by your chin as he tilts his head and raises his brows. “You want me?”
You nod feverishly, half-lidded eyes flickering as you breathe, “yes, logan. need you.” Your head falls back against the mirror, and he looks down with a grin at the sight in front of him.
he hooks his arms around your knees to bring you closer before you take him to the hilt in one go, burying a mewl into his shoulder as you wrap your legs around his waist. The first thrust burns, always does, but only he can make you forget the pain in an instant. Soon, your hands are tangled in his hair, his beard is rubbing against your neck, and you’re begging, “please, lo, need it so bad. “ Logan fucks exactly like how he fights, thrusting into you so sharply your ass is sliding back on the metal counter with each movement of his hips.
He’s done this enough times to know what makes you whine and dig your fingernails into his back, but he still demands, every time, “that feel good, baby? you like that?” Of course, you don’t have to answer for him to know that it does, that it does feel good, so incredibly good, and that he’s hitting all the right spots in the body only he knows so well.
You aren’t the only one filling the room with lewd noises. Logan is panting too, the echoes of his each and every grunt reflecting off of every corner in the room and into your ear. It only makes your cheeks flush hotter, only encourages your hips to move more eagerly to match his pace.
It’s always when he’s just about there that Logan pulls back and looks down at where the two of you are connected, slowing down his strokes to slowly watch his bulging cock sink deep into your slopping cunt.
It’s the only opportunity with logan that you get to really look at him, to see the raw expression of euphoria on his face, teeth bared and mouth open. Some strands of previously gelled hair are stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his eyes rolling back with each press of his pelvis. Your eyes trace the sweat on his shoulder, the hair on his chest peaking from behind his white wife-beater, and the vein on his stomach that connects to the one on his dick.
You gaze flickers back at his face, and you extend a hand to guide his head towards you. He tries to turn away, as usual, and you hate that you know he’s holding back; limiting the noises he’s making, the pace he’s taking.
“Just use me, Logan. I know you want to,” you plead against his lips, inhaling a gasp as you press your lips onto his. You expect him to pull away, to push your head to the side and focus on finishing the other task at hand, but this time, he only pulls you closer, one hand around your waist and the other on the back of your head. He doesn’t give you much time to be shocked before he resumes his previous pace, drilling into you with the same vigor, albeit a bit more sloppy than before.
Logan pulls back to catch his breath, and at the same time, you clench tightly around him. A low groan escapes him, a noise so animalistic and fervent that you reach your high right then and there, shrieking as your legs begin to shake.
He’s close too, you can feel it in his breathing, so you let him fuck you beyond your orgasm, even if it’s getting to be too much and you’re losing your thoughts by the second.
“nobody— ah— fucks my girlfriend,” he suddenly growls, lifting you up from under your arms and shoving you against the tiled wall. He squeezes your cheeks, forcing you to look into his hazel gaze as he spits, “n-nobody fucks you like I do.”
He plummets into you deep, leaning his lips in and making you swallow one last groan of his before you feel his warm release fill your insides.
When he’s done, Logan is supporting all your weight, your limp arms splayed around his sweaty back. You whimper at the emptiness as he pulls out, feeling his cum languidly drip down your inner thighs.
You’re too exhausted to realize what he just said, to react to what he just referred to you as, and as the fog of pleasure slowly unclouds Logan’s head, he’s glad he fucked you stupid enough to forget.
-
a/n: anyone else feel like they’re incapable of writing good smut? Hey Google how many other synonyms could there possibly be of the word ‘thrust’?
#wyniepooh#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x you#logan howlett xmen#james logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#logan howlett#logan wolverine#james howlett#james howlett x you#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman x you#james howlett x reader#xmen smut#wolverine smut#logan james howlett#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine x y/n#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine xmen#wolverine and deadpool#wolverine#jimmy howlett#logan howlett drabble#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader
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We have hit Winter Sunday in the Chill Valicer Save! And with this update, we enter the period of time in this save that I like to call "Time To FINISH FILLING THOSE DAMN SHELVES PLEASE." AKA, the next few updates are all about trying to get their grocery store into an openable state! Hope you like farm chores and food processing! *big smile, thumbs up* And speaking of the former, let's get right to it --
-->We start in the wee, wee hours of the morning, as we usually do around here as Smiler doesn't need sleep and Victor and Alice's bed is so good, they have developed a bit of a wonky sleep schedule as a result. XD (Victor having chugged a Potion of Plentiful Needs at the end of last "episode" also didn't help!) Specifically, we start in the old crafting barn, where Victor, after using his powerful magical talents to Scruberoo a slightly dirty Smiler, returned to making candles for his "bee products" shelf at the store! As he'd leveled up in Fabrication skill, I decided that he could make a black-dyed molded candle to show off his new talents...a process that I quickly discovered really just consisted of a lot of the Sim just standing in front of the candle bench, waiting for the wax to cool in the mold. Which, okay, probably accurate, but not exactly the most exciting thing to watch, huh? I prefer dipped candles, at least then they're DOING something.
-->As for Smiler and Alice -- well, the gardening bots Elmer and Bugs needed another tune-up, so that kept Smiler busy for a good chunk of the morning. Alice, for her part, snoozed until her energy bar was full, then came downstairs to fix some broken wind turbines because the phase of the moon meant that she would get extra Handiness skill from it. :p She was feeling rather hungry after that, so I had her transform and go out for a hunt -- hey, nothing like fresh meat for a werewolf tummy! And it's always a good source of XP.
-->Once Victor was done with his candle, I decided to check what he needed to brew up a potion of Emotional Stability, as he was all set with the ingredients needed for Plentiful Needs and Nimble Mind. Turns out he needed some Obtainium if he wanted to brew up emotionally-calming drinks, so I quickly checked Alice's metal collection upstairs to see if she had any. To my delight, she did indeed have a sample! So Victor got sent up there to use his overpowered Copypasto spell on it a couple of times. XD Seriously, I would be SOO lost in this save without that spell now...
-->While Victor was doing that, Smiler finished up their bot repairs and decided it was the perfect time to make some drinks! And I decided "actually, yes, it IS the perfect time to make some drinks -- so you can give them to the damn specters floating around the greenhouse and the back yard, distracting everyone." So Smiler poured out a few glasses and went searching out specters to give them to. Happily, both the specter floating by the tree annoying Shadow and the specter bopping around in the greenhouse appreciated the gifts, and both rewarded Smiler with the same thing -- soul scraps! I put those in their inventory for later -- I don't think I've used one of these yet? Probably should at some point...but they do look VERY cool with that little flame glowing above the disc, don't they? There's a reason I have a few on display in the seance room. :)
-->Anyway -- with that sorted, Smiler set Elmer and Bugs on the greenhouse and started cleaning up all the spoiled plates of chicken saltimbocca left everywhere from the family reunion. Victor fed Toothy the cowplant (I do not blame him for looking so nervous -- cowplants are very ENTHUSIASTIC about being fed), then went to check on Shadow, who was angry about something or other -- possibly all those specters hanging around. Victor calmed Shadow down as Alice returned from her hunt and gobbled down her fresh meat...
#sims 4#the lazy save#victor van dort#alice liddell#smiler always#yeah I decided that I was getting that damn store's shelves filled up one way or another#which led to me forcing them to grind out making products for a little while#sorry if these aren't the most exciting updates as a result!#especially since making candles by molding them simply cannot be that exciting#I was expecting a bit more from that? Not sure what but SOMETHING?#*shrug* Ah well#at least he's keeping busy making more stuff and getting more Fabrication skill#and Smiler had some good luck with the specters today#they can be very finicky about what they'll accept and what they won't accept let me tell you that#but in this case two wins and two soul scraps#should see what those do at some point#never did get quite into the paranormal stuff as I was expecting#but then again the farm takes up a LOT of their time#guess it's only to be expected -- running a farm IS hard work!#I mean I presume I've never done it XD#queued
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