#My thoughts and Feelings

[truffle-chocolate]

I don't want my birthday to end...

On this day you feel that everyone loves you: a stranger on the street, a neighbor’s dog and a stray cat, your colleagues and classmates. They are all treated with more kindness and care than usual. Because they feel from you this sparkling, airy feeling of happiness that makes them smile in response to your smile

But this day is gradually ending. Your family, already tired after a whole day of turmoil, gradually stops reacting to you as someone very important and significant, as it was in the morning.

There is no longer that feeling of fun and joy as it was in childhood. When you were tired of this holiday, but equally continued to feel full of this bright and delicious feeling of warmth. It's as if you have your own kingdom, where everyone loves you and is happy to see you, simply because you exist

Now you stand in today. On your birthday. You feel the cold from people with tired smiles. You are adjusting your bright holiday outfit. Although inside you have long been curled up in a ball and crying into your knees, smearing your tears and snot on your cheeks, sniffling loudly and sobbing

You continue to laugh back with your glassy smile as you go to your room with a piece of birthday cake. And standing on the threshold, knowing that no one else will come in, this fun gradually begins to fall from you. You sit on the floor next to the bed, leaning your back and stretching your legs. You take the first bite of the whipped cream on the strawberry pie, hoping that, like when you were a child, it will fill you with a sweet sense of magic. You eat bite after bite, but that feeling of the moment never comes

You eat the cake, but it no longer seems the same as it was in childhood. Wrong cake. You are not correct. You look tiredly at the ceiling and think: “why am I disappointed if it was so fun? Why do I feel lonely if so many strangers congratulated me today? Why do I feel unwanted?"

It's simple. The little kingdom fell. Now you need to earn that love and warmth that was free in childhood. That's why I don't want my birthday to end. Because there are still these light piece that give crumbs of warmth

[drunkengodsofslaughter]

Ngl I would love the concept of ronance + Steve on the side (Robin herself literally wanted to become one person with Steve so no you cannot take Steve out of Robin’s life even when it comes to her romantic life) so much more if people admitted that Nancy is actually the third wheel of Steve and robin’s friendship or if people allowed this entire situation to be a fucking mess. Like somehow people paint it out as Robin feels no guilt for getting with her bestie’s ex and Steve is just in a corner cheering them on and Nancy doesn’t somehow feel conflicted about anything (which is ironic cuz Nancy is often conflicted about something) … they just feel like self inserts at this point and they don’t even feel like the characters that I love that are in canon. They just don’t feel human to me anymore which is the beauty of writing that the characters feel like real people. So it just seems like these are characters going along with the narrative and plot while having no depth

[saiyef]

My family and I had a cat named Misty. After having him for 1 year, he left home and didn’t come back. I made a side blog of all my videos and photos of him here.

On 28th December 2021, I woke up and went downstairs to the living room were kept hearing a high-pitched noise. I looked everywhere, even outside the house, for source of the noise; eventually I looked under the dining table and saw a kitten on one of the chairs mewling. My family bought a cat while I was asleep. A tabby cat with white-grey fur with black stripes and white fur on his paws and mouth. I fell in love with it instantly and left my fleece and scarf on the floor for him to smell and become familiar with my scent.

We named the cat Misty and thought it was a girl who was 10-weeks old at the time we bought him. It turns out we were given a boy who was 5-weeks old instead.

We let Misty out into out back garden where he would go over the fence into our neighbours’ gardens and explore. He usually did this every day before coming back either on his own or when we shook a bag of food, usually at around sundown or before it was about to rain. But, on 22 December 2022, we let him out at night and he never came back. My family and I searched for him, asking the neighbours whose gardens he roams into and putting up posters but we did not succeed. One of the neighbours supposed that because Misty was 1-years old and we didn’t fix him yet (I was thinking about whether we should but I didn’t bring it up to my family before then), he smelled a female cat and ran off to chase it. I kept hoping he’d come back but after months, I think it was safe to say Misty was gone.

My family has decided to get a new cat, which we’ll be getting next week. I think I’ll be happy to have a new cat but I’m also really sad because it feels like Misty is gone and the hope that he’ll come back will be gone with it. I just hope he’s still alive somewhere, either as someone else’s new pet thinking he was a stray or perhaps he turned feral and is living in the wild. Or, on a sadder note, consider that he might have been stolen, as I noticed a poster for a stolen reindeer while out so there were animals getting stolen around that time and someone kept tearing down our lost cat posters.

[grillcheesepoetry]

I got a tip recently about writing poetry, specifically with iambic parameters and, though that particular person was literally intolerable for the fact they got in my head and started mansplaining my ” “obvious insecurities” “ like who the hell?????

:/ anyway I didn’t think of it before, but writing out a blurb of thoughts, no matter what it is just getting everything down onto paper or notes, making sure to include a few key words and emotions as guidelines. Then, once you’re happy and satisfied and you’ve vented what you’re feeling going back over and highlighting phrases and words you like and putting them in an iambic parameter of your choosing. Works for haiku, diamanté, free verse, spoken word if you want, fuckin,, SONNETS!!! hell, your very own villainous monologue.

I know I’m basically preaching this to nobody but I’ll come back and look at this at some point when I feel like writing and probably re-apply this info, if I forget it which I probably will.

Usually when I write out something I’m proud of it’s literally spur of the moment like an alien beamed information into my head and I literally SCRAMBLE to get it into words the same way I thought it and that almost never turns out the way I want it to bc phrasing and rythem and formatting takes so much more thought and…etc etc… writing hard grrr 😡

[blakeshaw-oracle]

Thoughts on Max x Robin alongside Al x Finney? I wasn’t particularly fond of the idea at first but I’m starting to warm up to it 👀

I'm so glad you asked!

I hadn't even considered the idea until a few days ago tbh but now I'm actually obsessed with it. Best friends that fuck BROTHERS!!! It's literally the perfect concept imo.

Like Robin and Finney being polar opposites alongside their much older boyfriends just trying to make it work for everyone-- Max and Al are a little worried about how it will go down at first but come around when they realize just how close Robin and Finney actually are! I imagine that at this point the two boys have little to no boundaries between them, so anything goes. They're not ashamed to talk about their respective sex lives with their boyfriends in the other room (or literally sitting right next to them), hearing absolutely everything.

I'd like to think Al and Max start off embarrassed as fuck about the whole ordeal but as the days/months go by, they slowly start to let go of it. After that, nothing phases either of them anymore when they find each other in rather interesting predicaments (👀) around the house with their respective partners. It's inevitable at that point. The Shaw household is only so big. [In a perfect world, I'd love to have Max eventually move into the house across the street and have a nice little life with Robin there. Same with Al and Finney but Finn moves into the main house with Al--]

There's more but this is just my perspective on it in general lmao. (I'd also consider a polycule between them all, just saying lol)

TLDR: Yes!! I need the besties to be dating their respective Shaw brother and have each other to gossip with talk to about it!!!

- εϊз

[acacia-luna-royal]

So, I’ve had this written in my phone notes almost all week since Sunday as well as not being able to go into the internet because either my cat or my sister’s cat was fucking around on the cabinet and broke our freaking WiFi box so it stopped working, so someone had to come out and fix it but that took a while, and as it was almost the end of the month, my phone bill wasn’t topped up because I didn’t have enough money in my bank, so I couldn’t even use my data 😭 but MY GOD!! You guys have been busy! I’ve missed so much of tumblr and damn have I missed you guys! *cries in a corner* Anyway, here is just a few things I want to say about episode 12 and the feels this episode got me feeling.

*Deep fucking breath* Yep, NAILED IT!

Yo, episode 12... where the fuck do I start? It started off with cavity level sweetness... ended with all the salt in the sea and lemons plus limes squeezed into every single cut you can think of, like when you use hand sanitiser on a paper cut fuck that shit hurts! This episode was a fucking whirlwind of emotions and I was hit with so many feelings way too fast and way too hard.

Right off the bat, we get this first scene with Porsche dropping Porschay off at the university for his interview. We have our sweet baby Porschay, although he’s heartbroken, he tries his absolute best to stay strong for his big brother, who smiles at him with pride and proudness that just melts your heart. And then Porschay decided to throw his resume into the bin, trying to rid that part of his life that had Kim involved, as all the time Porschay and Kim spent together was a façade, a foundation - in Porschay’s eyes - built and revolving around lies. But there’s also guilt there because Porschay worked hard to get into that university. He worked hard for both himself and for Porsche; his big brother, who has been working so damn hard to make sure Porschay is able to go to school and is able to study at the university of his dreams.

Porschay struck by culpability because Porsche - working so damn hard to make Porschay’s dream a reality - said that seeing his little brother get into that university was his own dream. Porsche smiles so beautifully and so brightly at Porschay, happiness to the MAX at seeing his brother take the first step to getting his degree. And even though Porschay has had his heart broken by someone he is still in love with, he’s hurting but seeing how happy Porsche is and how proud his big brother is of him, Porschay tries his absolute best to stay strong and keep a brave face for Porsche and it broke my heart. No literally, I was a whimpering mess, this part wrecked me. This scene, man, the impact of feels I had within the first two minutes was unreal. I thought my heart would burst at my chest, and the episode had only just started, like fuck, I was wondering how the hell I was going to manage the rest of the episode. (And I also happen to be INCREDIBLY protective of the Kittisawasd brothers. Looking at you Theerapanykuls, though not Tankhun, he’s a king in every way and I’ll always love him, he can do no wrong.)

Porsche finding out that the guy who was in charge of the goons beating up his debt collecting uncle was actually working with Kinn at the beginning and was also responsible for helping Kinn get Porsche to work for him. Yes, Kinn was following orders from his father, but keeping it from Porsche all this time, that was the wrong move. My jaw literally dropped during this scene, I almost caught flies. I was in shock. If I were Porsche in this situation, I would have yelled, I would have maybe slapped Kinn, I would have probably walked away and refused to talk to him until I calmed down.

Porsche here was so collected, even when you could tell that he was livid, he was also in disbelief. He didn’t submit to Kinn’s attempt to hold him, he refused to let Kinn touch him until he got the answers he so rightfully deserved. And when Kinn made another move to step closer followed by an “I’m sorry,” Porsche told him to back off. Porsche wasn’t going to give in without an explanation to the lies and the cause to him feeling like a fool for not having known or seen this sooner. He was lied to. He was betrayed. And the one person who he knows doesn’t trust easily because of being betrayed in the past, was supposed to be different and not be a liar too. He gave Kinn all of him and more, and Porsche believed that Kinn had given him that in return, but it turns out it was splintered. Yes, Porsche knows that there’s deep intense truth to Kinn’s feelings towards him, but if there’s lies in the beginning that haven’t been addressed yet and have been playing out all this time, even while they’ve been together as an official couple, then of course Porsche is going to be hesitant to fall straight back into Kinn’s arms and to take in his apologies. And this isn’t just about a lie being told to Porsche, it’s the involvement of Porsche’s house - the last thing that Porsche has from his late parents; a house, a home, he and his little brother treasures. Porsche said to Kinn that Kinn knows how much that house means to him, and Kinn still didn’t tell him that he had been affiliated with the guy who threatened to take his family home away from him and his little brother. So, he’s rightfully pissed off.

It’s only with the heartfelt promise from Kinn; a promise that Kinn will find all the answers that Porsche is looking for, a promise that Porsche is able to believe by looking and reading the honesty in Kinn’s eyes, (because Kinn and Porsche have created a state of communication that literally just involves them locking eyes and this communication is damn strong, we’ve all noticed it), that Porsche eventually lets Kinn move closer to touch him, to wrap his arms around him, to hold him. Porsche doesn’t reciprocate the hold though, and Kinn understands why he doesn’t.

Kinn stands alongside Porsche as they confront Papa Korn together; as partners, as lovers, as a couple who trust each other. They stand side by side with Porsche slightly in front, but Kinn lets Porsche do the talking. He only asks a question out of shock to his father’s words when Papa Korn explains that he covered up the murder of Porsche’s parents and that the driver happened to be Papa Korn’s friend. They find out a lot more from Papa Korn than they bargained for when they stomped their way over to where Papa Korn was working with his clay. Porsche wanted answers about why he was actually chosen to work for the main Theerapanyakul family, but gained the reason as to who killed his parents alongside the reason of him being chosen to work for them as a way of Papa Korn paying his respects to him. Porsche having had enough of the bullshit and the “sorry”s, closes his eyes, tames the fire wanting to explode inside of him, and then tells Papa Korn (way too politely in my opinion) that he’s thankful for the help, but he doesn’t need it and then storms off. Man, did I wish Porsche had done more. I used to like Papa Korn but he just keeps proving to be more of a dick (but he’s still way better than Kan ironically). Kinn is also furious. He’s furious because he was also lied to by his own father, but he’s also infuriated that his father is one of the main the reasons why his love is so distressed and betrayed and heartbroken, when Porsche had just found out about the secret that Kinn had kept from him, which Kinn is feeling guilty from as now both Kinn and Korn are to be blame, but mainly Korn.

Consensual VegasPete!!!

WAS KINN AND PORSCHE’S FIRST TIME THIS DAMN INTENSE!! I CAN’T REMEMBER MY MIND’S GONE BLANK!! The fact that it was Pete who pulled Vegas back to pull him into a kiss... Vegas’ surprise and his hand hovering, not knowing what do to or how to respond for a second before he fell straight into it and reciprocated just as passionately; Vegas becoming so happily overwhelmed with the way Pete was kissing him and handling him just... 😫*Chef’s Kiss* For me, It was when Vegas walked past Pete after saying: “But a guy like you, it’s no fun when you don’t give in,” and then Pete just turns him around, grabs his face and kisses him, giving off “Bitch, I’m gonna show you the best type of fun you’ve ever had in your entire fucking life” vibes and OMG!! Believe me when I tell you that I choked mid scream! That was fucking amazing!!

Honestly, give Bible and Build all the oscars, all the Grammys, all the awards! This scene was so damn mind-blowing! I think the condoms in this show also have their own representation and sponsor just like the Maseratis, the inhaler and their majesty bread. Man, you VegasPete fans, my darlings, you were fed a gourmet buffet this episode holy shit! And what the hell is with Build and Apo having such gorgeous curves?!?! Why? How? I just... 😭 And the way Vegas kissed his way down Pete’s neck, then down his back to then more or less (I think I saw this right) kiss Pete’s buttcheeks just OMG AHDHAKNSDJS!! Those damn satisfied smiles afterwards between them as well... HOLY FUCK!!! Though, I would like to point out that the music that was used for this love scene is called “Stable Delusion”, and I don’t really know what to think of that fact.

Kinn leaving the main family manor and deciding that Porsche is far more important than his home, his job, his father, because Porsche is his home now and wherever Porsche goes, that’s where Kinn’s home will be. Kinn literally said that he can have the best kind of happiness in the world, as long as he has Porsche! I mean... LOOK AT THE WAY KINN LOOKS AT PORSCHE WHEN HE SAYS THAT... status of the heart: more or less healed, just gonna need six months of recovery and cardio therapy.

This scene was fucking beautiful in every way imaginable. Me thinking at first that Porsche not only left the Theerapanyakul manor and taking his brother with him, leaving Kinn there as well... I started whimpering, I honestly thought Porsche had left Kinn at the house because I didn’t think Kinn would be allowed to leave. But then Kinn, oh my fucking CHRIST, him walking out to the garden with a plate of glasses and the royal majesty bread, to bring out to Porsche and Porschay!!! I had butterflies in my brain, stomach, heart and soul, that was the purest fucking thing ever OMG!!! I will never get over this, I really won’t, not ever! Kinn saying that Porsche’s happiness means the world to him... my heart, just take it, it’s only giving me arrhythmia. Porschay looking between his brother and his brother’s boyfriend with that sweet knowing look and smile, literally the sibling look of “omg, you guys are so cute it’s gross but I’m so happy that you’re happy” and just... urgh, this scene was so freaking precious and beautiful I just can’t deal.

I always said to myself that if I see Porsche cry, like literally bawling, I’ll cry and my heart will break. Welp, I had that twice this fucking episode, holy shit I couldn’t breathe through my nose for hours! I don’t know how long I cried for, all I know is that I had to pause the episode to let it out because it really broke my heart. Apo, you just... you ruin me. I was so thankful for Kinn just holding Porsche, telling Porsche that his parents would be proud of him for not killing their murderer, Kinn telling Porsche that he’s proud of him too... *whimpers* take my heart please, it’s in fragments, but it might come in handy for something because it’s sitting useless in my chest.

Kim realising he fucked up BIG time. Finding out Porschay didn’t attend his interview stunned him, not knowing that he could have had that much of an effect on Porschay. Ya dingus.

The way Kim looks away from his friend and then clenches his jaw to then look down as the guilt seeps in. Realisation dawning on his features so hard, his breath becomes a little staggered like he can’t mutlitask the guilt enveloping him and breathing at the same time.

Our sweet baby Porschay... still heartbroken but wanting to try something new to get, at the very least, his mind off of the pain in his heart, decides to change his look by dyeing his hair (the same freaking colour I might add that the actor who plays Porschay’s brother dyed his for a photoshoot aakjdjaksjjdkss). Porschay, it looks great sweetie. And then decides to go out drinking with friends even though he’s never drunk alcohol in his life, yeah, no sweetie, don’t do that.

When Porschay has had a lot to drink and his friend says that they should go home, Porschay is ready to go with his friend when the guy on his other side tries to put a tablet in his mouth... 🤬🔪Oh man, I was freaking livid. But I didn’t really get the chance to stay livid for long because this next scene shocked me to the core and literally took my breath away:

Kim coming out of freaking nowhere and smacking the guy’s hand away from Porschay’s mouth and punching anyone who tried to stop him... man, I was in LOVE! That was so fucking attractive and so damn HOT! I started screaming into my pillow! And then when Kim put his finger in the guy’s face and said (more like he growled, or snarled) “Don’t!” The progress of me absofuckinglutely losing it just kept progressing.

Although this scene with Kim was so damn attractive, and YES! This isn’t Wik, the musician and University student. This is Kim Theerapanyakul, the third son, the youngest son, of a high class main mafia family, the person who picked up a gun for the first time in what was most likely ages just because the boy he’s fallen in love with was kidnapped, making Kim so determined to save him that he was ready to shoot the fuck out of everybody but Porsche, including his own cousin, just to save him. But the question that came into my head when I rewatched Kim coming into this scene was: How the hell did Kim know where Porschay was? He couldn’t have asked anyone because the only person Kim could ask would probably be Porsche but Porsche didn’t even know Porschay was dyeing his hair, let alone Porschay going to a club. And I doubt Kim would have been brave enough to actually ask Porsche, “Yo, do you know where your brother is?” Porsche would only have more questions to answer Kim’s questions with and Porsche would probably recognise Kim as Wik as there is no way Porsche didn’t see Porschay’s P’Wik shrine in his bedroom. And also, Kinn would have been with Porsche, so that conversation would have really fucking interesting to see. So, Kim must have put a tracker Porschay or something, because how else did he find him in that club?

When Kim gabbed Porschay’s hand, I was excited for a second before my mind went back to asking questions. Like, Kim, what the hell were you going to do after this? Were you going to take Porschay back to his house, with the possibility that Porsche, Porschay’s beautiful protective big brother, could be there with his boyfriend, who happens to be your own big brother? Nah, that doesn’t really sound like a good idea. Or were you planning on taking Porschay to your place? Would have to say I’m not a fan of this idea either as Porschay is still mad with you for breaking his heart (rightfully so) and I doubt Porschay would want to be at your place especially with what you said to him. For someone who thinks a lot, you really didn’t think this through, did you? It’s amazing how the Kittisawasd brothers can literally cause the youngest two Theerapanyakul brothers to lose their thought process and act before thinking it through. Kim you are so much like Kinn, it’s not even funny.

Kim! What are doing?! “From now on, you’re on your own,”... ASHDHKAHDJAJS KIM WHAT THE FUCK! Porschay is heartbroken ya dick, and you just made it worse! Kudos to you for bringing Porschay away from a potentially horrible situation but to then tell the boy that he more or less isn’t worth your time anymore. What the fuck? Man, when Porsche finds out you broke his baby brother’s heart, don’t think that just because Porsche is now dating Kinn, your older brother, that you’ll be safe because you freaking won’t be. You’re doomed. And if you don’t apologise to Porschay with flowers and a big teddy bear with an “I’m sorry, please forgive me” on it, and mean it, with a love song you’ve written just for him and play your guitar for him, then I’m coming for you because this baby’s heart... he’s been through enough in his life, don’t cause him more pain.

And may I regretfully present to you all the salt in the sea, the bitter sourness when you were expecting sweet. I had a shiver run down my spine when Ahrtee sat down next to Porsche, I was holding my comfort blanket tighter around me thinking “oh no, this is not going to end well” and I was right, it didn’t. All Ahrtee did was cause more trouble for Porsche, just like he has done for most of Porsche’s life. Let me tell you that gamblers: all they care about is themselves. They don’t care about their families, because if they did care, even the slightest amount, they wouldn’t cause them this many problems and this much pain.

When Ahrtee kept blowing smoke into Porsche’s face I was literally chanting “punch him, punch him, punch him.” And then Ahrtee had the auDacITy to call Porsche stupid! Bitch, you shut the fuck up! How dArE you! You’re the stupid one for causing so much debt and thinking that you could get away with it and thinking you were able to keep fooling your nephew. And then he asked Porsche for five million baht, “easy money” he said, that could make all of the lies and problems go away. Uh, no Ahrtee, the only easy thing about five million baht is the way you’d spend it. Don’t believe it Porsche, he’s a fucking liar and he will only cause you problems, trust me.

When Ahrtee gave Porsche that picture and we finally saw who was in it... my mind went blank and my jaw dropped. It took me a good minute to process what I had seen. And then I started tearing up because NO!! Porsche and Kinn has just started over, they’re on their clean slate and now Porsche isn’t going to know what to think, do or say. Will he tell Kinn about seeing his uncle? I don’t think he will. Will he tell Kinn about the photo? I don’t think so. All of these obstacles that these two have faced and will again have to face... it’s honestly painful and heartbreaking to watch these two go from being at the peak of their strength where the trust that they have in each other is formidable, to then watch it fracture apart because some lying, cheating, two-faced, problem causing low life has come onto the scene and arisen doubts between them. We’ve seen Kinn and Porsche finally, truthfully, adoringly become KinnPorsche and now we have this? My heart, mind and soul is not ready for what is to come and I just, I can’t deal with all the possible scenarios that keep running around in my mind, and every single one of them makes my heart speed up with anxiety and trepidation. I’m not ready, I don’t think anyone is, and the fact that we only have two episodes left TWO FREAKING EPISODES LEFT!!! AKHDJSJSKKFJAK!!! I’m going to be more of a mess than I already am 😭😭

[onefey]

you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

[moncuries]

guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)

[hamletthedane]

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

[peaceishim]

[drunkengodsofslaughter]

Okay but now that I said that part about Steve and Dustin’s friendship: I’m so confused as to why Steve’s dating life ended up being a problem between the two of them. Because in season 3 Dustin wanted Steve to go out and find romance and have him be happy. Like it could make sense if it’s a ‘oh he still wants Steve to be happy but now things have changed’ or ‘oh he still thinks that Robin is good for Steve and he’s pissed that Steve isn’t with her cuz he doesn’t know that robin is a lesbian’. It could have perfectly worked out like that but instead canon literally doesn’t give us any sense of that at all. It’s just like a brief thing that happens in canon that Steve’s dating life is affecting their friendship but then it’s never brought up how exactly it’s affecting their friendship in any way

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[catskullery]

[eruhamster]

not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less

but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree

she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).

and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:

it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.

it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.

EDIT: for the love of god stop reblogging this only to add some comment or tag or reply saying 'op you forgot [BLATANTLY FANON INTERPRETATION]'. falin as we know her is not a pushover/people pleaser/infantilized, see this version of my post. also stuff like 'female shuro was in love with laios in the genderbent comic' and 'falin was going to marry shuro because she felt bad' are just things you made up in your head

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[forestofsprites]

i think that sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches. lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. there are canyons. gullies and mountain cliffs. there are rainy days. dry spells and scorching blue skies. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats. that feeling slow today won't stop tomorrow's high tide. won't make july's blackberries any less ripe