#My goodness how life feels so good | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ilkitie · 2 months ago

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Just listened to Wierszalin III by Patriarkh for the first time and i think i levitated and my soul ascended a little.

#I'm so glad they're making new music with this new name and probs new whole gimmick love to see it happen #Good shiiiiiite #My goodness how life feels so good #Returned home from my northern trip and visited my fave local forest and i felt so fucking LOVED while in there i got teary eyed #Yeah i'm having a huge spiritual re-awakening #Shouting into the void

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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hinamie · 18 days ago

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been in a yuuji mood

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #itadori yuuji #yuji itadori #sorry fr being quiet ive been a. busy w lmhs and b. in the emotional trenches #on the bright side tho arcane is out and i am once again attempting 2 channel a even a fraction of its art style #it is simply the natural order of things: arcane season drops and i am overcome with the urge to Paint #idk what they r feeding their artists and animators over there but its so gorgeous idk how they do it #regardless im thankful bc it feels like ive been so turbulent w where my style is #one second i love it the next i want to change everything about it #such is life such is growth #shoutout 2 yuuji fr being such a good guinea pig tho <3 #him and the colour red. if no one got me ik itadori yuuji and the colour red got me

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allysketches · 4 months ago

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organizing my art folder I found this one drawing sitting there for months bc I didn't like how it turned out and meant to come back to it later but never did lol

but on second thought I guess it looks fine so I might as well post it now 😅

also I've been pretty much MIA these past few months bc life (good and bad) and tbh it was nice, so I'll mostly stay that way, I think... pop back now and then, whenever I finish more drawings lol

#good omens #good omens fanart #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #my art #me coming back after the most life altering burnout and weeks feeling like I had been hit by a bus repeatedly:#hi guysss 👋#so how are y'all doing? I've been chilling 😎 reading lots... watching tv... going out... yk the usual #also might open commissions sometime bc I left my job #(it was a good thing - see aforementioned burnout lol)#but not sure yet #we'll see how it'll pan out

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otiksimr · 3 months ago

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Some Yveltal sketches (curated from my main blog, there's some lore in the tags if you're interested.)

#Feel like my pokemon followers here would enjoy some good eats.#Yveltal are very dedicated parents. They sometimes care for the chicks even long after they've fledged.#But they have some god awful sight and don't have the best of scent receptors.#Adult Yveltal don't eat in the traditional sense. They don't need to hunt or scavenge. They passively consume the life force of the well. L #So over time those senses have just degraded.#Which leads them very vulnerable to brood parasitism.#A pokemon whose chick is black and red can easily be passed off as a Yveltal chick.#Due to this their population is horrifically low.#Legendary as they are. They aren't that well off considering how things are going.#my art #pokemon #Yveltal #Pokémon but worse!#Pkmn #Pkmn fanart #pokemon fanart #pokemon art #pokemon XY #pokemon yveltal #all the tags buster.

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slushglow · 7 months ago

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where are my edward elric fans in the crowd tonight

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

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teaboot · 7 days ago

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tranny freak :)

#Negativity #Transphobia #I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here #I am genuinely so much happier like this #Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever #All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive #I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool #And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades #What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy #What are you going through #Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely #Why are you so afraid of genuine connection #Why are you scared of people #Are you happy with your life right now #Do you like yourself #How much time do you spend doing this #Do you think the negativity might be getting to you #How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it #I'm really sorry #I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything #Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday #There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions #Kinda sad that you're missing out

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stuckinapril · 10 months ago

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megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.

#btw i was rly into megan before it became trendy now in light of her dropping hiss / the nicki debacle #nicki’s latest music has been ass anyway but it’s sad to see her behaving like this to newer rap girls #the parasocial hate is literally so intense / insane like i can’t imagine hating someone enough to be persistently harassing them like this #nicki’s a celeb so you’d think she’d know a thing or two about how dangerous it is to pit her fans on somebody else like this #unless this is all just a bid to stay relevant which i would not be surprised ab but nicki seems PRESSED.#i guess if i released something like pink friday 2 id also be feeling threatened by a new rap girl w the bars megan has #i just want her to leave my homegirl megan alone. good on megan for ignoring and living her best life. the energy i wanna emulate #i’m not usually one to play into the whole pit women against other women thing but nicki’s recent actions are so inappropriate. wild #btw megan majored in health administration in uni?? which is a major factor as to why i’m obsessed w her. anyway #text

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jkvjimin · 6 months ago

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JEON JUNGKOOK + fire stage performances 🔥 (cr. 0613data, namuspromised, moreloveforhobi)

happy birthday, steph! @cosmicdreamgrl 💗

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 2 years ago

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#selfie bee #me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails #i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade #FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun #this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇｀)ﾉ #I would also love to learn how to make a handstand #imagine if you could just make yourself upside down #but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either #but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun #it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car #I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact #I wonder how he is doing today #since that moment I think about pheasants a lot #I knew they were real but I had never seen one #just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling #right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet #get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either #I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts #also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad #but I love it

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ohitslen · 5 months ago

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Tending wounds.

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super-nova5045 · 7 months ago

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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor “im breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racists” swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)

#anti taylor swift #like she can be problematic that’s okay #there are SO many problematic artists i like #but she’s not even that good #like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo #aka her peers #and realise how much better they are #they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it #whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL #she’s so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so #by romanticizing the most mundane #thats never been your brand babe now it’s going to sound like dogshit #GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it!#fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back!#mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since that’s all she knows!#lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression #all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isn’t a cash grab #Anyway i’m so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd #todd anderson #AND JOE ALWYN #joe alwyn my favourite man ever #joe alwyn #dead poets society #anderperry #sylvia plath #virginia woolf #the bell jar #lana del rey #fiona apple #mitski

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iite-cool · 8 months ago

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thinking about simon being like a cat. a mean ol' one all teeth and claws, scratching and hissing when you stretch a hand out to him. biting you because that's all he knows how to do - it's all he's ever done - and it's kept him alive.

that's what his whole life's been about - staying alive. surviving. maiming anything he sees before it can get to him first. so he doesn't know how to react when you don't bare your teeth at him but just smile and make him tea. he reacts like a stray cat does when it's offered warmth - he's confused. and his confusion gives way to anger and again he spits fire because what else is he to do? accept your kindness? bah! it's a hoax, he knows that. you'll tire of him and claw at his neck sooner or later so he'd rather not let you close enough to do so.

and when you don't give up, and you keep smiling that gorgeous, dazzling smile at him, he doesn't know what to do. no one's ever done this before - been all soft and sweet and only wanting to be allowed to scratch at his ears in reward. why were you doing this? why didn't you run away when you saw how he snarled at you? why do you look at him with those big, beautiful eyes like he's the only person in the world?

at a complete loss, he lets you pet him and oh that smile he'd let you tear his heart out if you would just keep smiling at him. "hey, simon!" god, he wants to drown in the sound of your lips wrapping around his name. you come close to him and his brain stops working, eyes wide and lost when you wrap your arms around him and pull him to you. warmth. is this what it feels like? he wants to live forever in the crux of your arms, creating a life for himself between them.

he couldn't stop purring if he tried, if he were a cat he'd spend the rest of his time on this earth, the earth that tried to bury and kill him and is now making amends by sending him you, running between your legs and swishing his tail around you. simon riley who's always had his head on a swivel, who's not gotten a full night's sleep in a decade lest he miss the chance to look his reaper in the eyes, now sleeps with his head on your lap, belly up and purring.

masterlist

please comment/reblog!! i have so many thoughts about this man that need to be talked about

#inspired by the prettiest cat i've ever seen in my life #came to me and just flopped flat on her back #something something simon who's so guarded #simon who's never ever let his walls down because his father taught him that weakness means pain #simon who meets you and thinks he'd like to let his guard down for you but oh :( he doesn't know how to #simon who lets you scratch at him until he flops next to you belly up #exposing himself completely because god trust feels so good #idk I'm yapping but I love him and I want to give him tummy rubs #simon fluff #simon riley fluff #ghost fluff #simon x reader #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #vi.writes

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vellichorsdesire · 5 months ago

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finding out your f/o has a picture of you as their wallpaper or vice versa… bonus if it’s a really stupid/blurry one. or something either of you didn’t know the other took a picture of, like sleeping or being busy with something that ends up being a favorite of theirs/yours

#english….. how to english….#i think im so good englishing but then i fail so much in real life and then fail so much in typing too. like. do you ever just look at a #-word and it feels wrong so you read it over and over like for a minute. Yeah #SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM SORRY….#she would be my wallpaper :3 a commission of us is actually but in reality it would be one of her sleeping i think #self ship #self shipping #self ship prompts #f/o imagines

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