#Money heist incorrect quotes

[athenamgh]

#IV

Professor: How drunk were you last night?

Y/n: Well, I still have my pants on, so not that drunk?

Lisbon: You do realize that those aren't your pants..

*Alicia enters the room*

Lisbon *points to her*: That's your pants.

[acealpaca]

*Andres, Martin and Sergio are sitting on a bench*

Raquel: Guys, why do you look so sad?

Andres: Sit with us so we can tell you.

*Raquel sits down*

Sergio: the bench is fresly painted.

[professoruber]

Incorrect Quotes: Bruce giving money to the Bat-Family | Part 4

Previous Part: Link | Next Part: Coming Soon

Bruce: Your recital tonight was lovely, Cass.

Cassandra: <Smile> Thank you.

Stephanie: No need to undersell it, B. That was great, Cass! I’ve never been into all that fancy ballet opera stuff; but that was… breathtaking.

Cassandra: <Smiles more and then yawns>

Alfred: All of you please cease crowding the poor girl. It seems Miss Cassandra is tired out by her performance routine. I suggest taking a short nap before the festivities later tonight, dear.

<Cassandra nods and Alfred guides her back to her room, leaving Bruce, Steph and Tim in the lounge>

Tim: So… you’ve both got something for her something to celebrate, right? I mean, I started working on a surprise for her the moment I heard she’d be preforming in the Gotham Opera House.

Stephanie: Well duh. It’s Cass! She deserves only the best. I’ve been collecting the finest ingredients to bake a feast of her favourite flavour of waffles.

Tim: Nice. No I can’t disagree with that, Cass deserves the best. Uh… you brought something for her, right Bruce?

Stephanie: <Eye roll> Of course he got something. Even the grim and grumpy Batman isn’t that heartless.

<Bruce suddenly coughs and then lets out a nervous laugh, prompting incredulous glares from Tim and Steph>

Bruce: I may have… forgotten.

Stephanie: Seriously dude? Even I’m disappointed in you for this.

Bruce: In my defence… I was distracted by a sudden gang war between the Mafia and Yakuza.

Stephanie: Well Tim and I managed to get her stuff even though we were busy chasing the Riddler through a series of heists!

Bruce: Oh please. Between the two of you even Nygma would be put on the ropes… but I agree that I made a mistake. And now I must rectify that mistake. <Gets up from couch, looking determined>

Tim: Tracking down something appropriately meaningful so late at night and having it prepared and delivered before Cass wakes up… is a tall order even for Bruce Wayne.

Bruce: For Bruce Wayne, yes. But not for Batman. Alfred! I’m heading out.

Alfred: Of course sir. And I trust you already have the, uh, Bat-Credit Card?

Bruce: Never leave the cave without it.

———————

<An hour-ish later, Cass is happily eating waffles made by Steph and Tim>

Cassandra: Very tasty. Mhm. <Chews> And… thank you, Steph. For waffles.

Stephanie: Figured you would have quite the appetite after that.

Cassandra: I do. And thank you, Tim. For this. <Gesture to custom album of her favourite dancing tunes that Tim edited together>

Tim: No problem, Cass. Wanted to do something special to celebrate your big show. We all know how hard you’ve been working on your ballet prac-

<Tim is cut off as Bruce Wayne comes tumbling into the room, looking exhausted>

Stephanie: <Muttering> Look who finally showed up, it’s about time.

Cassandra: Are you okay?

Bruce: I… huff… I…

Tim: You doing okay Bruce?

<Bruce takes a brief moment to steady himself before marching over to Cassandra with renewed vigour and handing her a wrapped box>

Cassandra: For me?

<Cassandra unwraps and opens box to find her costume from the performance inside>

Stephanie: Woah. Wasn’t that on loan to the Gotham Opera House by some fancy French designer dude?

Bruce: Yes. I… tracked him down and purchased it before anyone else could.

Cassandra: <Smiles and hugs Bruce> Thank you… dad.

Bruce: I… I’m glad you’re happy with it. You were beautiful tonight, Cass. And I know you grew a bit fond of this costume during all those rehearsals, so I figured it might make a decent memento of the performance.

Cassandra: No matter what you got, I would have liked it. I know you care. But… thank you, again.

Stephanie: As touching as this whole father-daughter embrace is, I just wanted to let you guys know everyone’s starting to arrive.

Bruce: Right. Let’s go greet them.

<The rest of the Bat-Family arrived and they all had a good night celebrating Cass’ ballet>

[aeslenya]

Six of Crows: Incorrect Quotes

-------

Inej: Kaz ... How do I begin to explain Kaz ?

Matthias: Kaz is demjin.

Nina: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.

Wylan: I hear they successfully did a heist... in the Ice Court.

Jesper : One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

-------

Kaz: We're kind of missing something guys.

Wylan: Cohesion?

Nina: Teamwork?

Inej: A general sense of what we're doing?

Jesper: And Matthias is not here.

Wylan: Oh, and that, yeah.

-------

Nina: Christmas lights?

Matthias: Check.

Wylan: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Matthias: Check.

Inej: Santa suits?

Matthias: Check.

Jesper: Shovel?

Matthias: Check.

Kaz: Alibi and bail money?

Matthias: Check - wait, WHAT?!

-------

Kaz, rubbing his temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

Jesper: But Kaz, we don't smoke.

Kaz: Cut the crap, Jesper. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Kaz: *points at Wylan* One! *points at Inej* Two! *points at Matthias* Three! *points at Nina* Four! *points at Jesper* Five!

Kaz: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Nina: *puts a cigarrette in Kaz's hand*

Kaz: Thank you. ...Light?

The Crows: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

-------

Inej: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Jesper: Theft.

Matthias: Disturbing the peace.

Nina: Aggravated assault.

Wylan: Arson.

Kaz: All of the above.In that order, probably.

Wylan: What about you Inej?

Inej: Wylan, I'm the Wraith. I don't get arrested.

Wylan: I know but what if you did? What would it be for?

Everyone but Wylan: Stabbing someone.

Wylan: Why did I even ask?

[maskedemerald]

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game

Once again I was tagged twice! Which is great because that means I get to play with both my WIPs characters! Thanks for the tag @the-down-upside-finch and @card-queen as always right now with these tags we're going colour coded. A Curiosity Piqued is in Blue and Magic Act is in Red.

Rules: Use this link to generate incorrect quotes for your OCs!

Tagging: @pb-dot @sam-glade @ashwithapen @callahanscorner @cat-esper @taveren-writing and anyone else who feels like doing it! Its really fun and you should do it!

Arnvaldr: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Aelfraed: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

(This about sums up any time these two are going to have to work together.)

Aelfraed: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense. Arnvaldr: I’ve got plenty of common sense! Arnvaldr: I just choose to ignore it.

(Perfect Arnvaldr)

Aelfraed: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Arnvaldr: What? No good morning? Aelfraed: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(Aelfraed wouldn't say fuck but this! Like Aelfraed is going to be like this at some point in the story after Arnvaldr handles cursed items irresponsibly.)

Arnvaldr: I was arrested for being too cool. Aelfraed: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Arnvaldr: Pardon the intrusion, but- Aelfraed: On this moment or just my life in general?

(Too polite for Arnvaldr unless he's being sarcastic but yeah Aelfraed I'd be lying if I said sorry for the continued Arnvaldr encounters.)

Arnvaldr: A banker? Me? Aelfraed: Yes, Arnvaldr. Arnvaldr: But I don’t know anything about running a bank! Aelfraed: Good. No preconceived ideas. Arnvaldr: I’ve robbed banks! Aelfraed: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

(The working together scenario but this time its Aelfraed who needs help lol. I can really see something like this happening later on in the series.)

Arnvaldr: My head hurts. Aelfraed: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Arnvaldr: I got an idea! Aelfraed: Does it involve breaking the law? Arnvaldr: By now don’t you think that’s a given? Aelfraed: I was just trying to be optimistic. Arnvaldr: Don’t bother.

Okay that's it for Medallion Heist now on to Magic Act! If you want to see Aelfraed in his first outing you can pre-order the book here: A Curiosity Piqued – The Last Straw Novella – Masked Emerald

And if you want to see more Medallion Heist I'm writing it for NaNoWriMo so follow and you'll see more!

Night: Go big or go home! Magician: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Night: I'm going big!

(Night the ultimate cause of chaos, Magician wishes they wouldn't lol)

Night: What are you talking about Magician? You love it here! Magician: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Night: So… what would you do if you were in bed with me? Magician: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Night: Yes. Magician: I'd sleep.

(That moment when I remember that technically this story has the one bed problem... Night is hiding Magician in their room and Magician just wants to sleep... well technically some of it is passing out.)

Magician: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you… Night: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

(More second book dynamic but yes!)

Night: Magician, I sense hostility. Magician: Good, because I hate you.

(Definitely more the first book dynamic)

Night: Magician and I are no longer friends. Magician: NIGHT THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

(Depending on who they're telling the response might be "Wait when did you two even meet!")

Magician: Night, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?! Night: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

(This made me laugh, I world built that my fae have poison as a spice so maybe Night could really drink that. Magician really needs to be careful about what he eats.)

Night: Hey, Magician. What kind of flowers do you prefer? Magician: I like sunflowers. Night, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-

(I love this, Night trying so hard but not really getting how humans do things!)

I'm also working on Magic Act during NaNoWriMo so expect more awkward crush shenanigans and some creepy fae and Night chaos being shared.

[helenjovonovich]

[Andrés turns out to be alive and joins the gang in the Bank of Spain.]

Andrés: *expects Martín to come running up to him and take him in his arms*

Martín: I’m with Helsinki now.

Andrés: Does he make you laugh?

Martín: He doesn’t make me cry.

[casadepalermo]

Professor: What’s the First Rule of Fight Club?

Palermo: No women

[skyeknight-otp-speaks]

Incorrect Quotes

Reyes: You're the sexiest man in the galaxy but I love you for your heart.

Scott, shooting at enemies and avoiding getting hit:

Scott: Right. Yeah. I'm a little busy now, so let's save the flirting for later

[stricklerxbarbara]

Entrapta: People find a lot of things sexy. You know what I find sexy?

Hordak:

Entrapta: Intelligence.

Hordak:

Hordak: Well, that particularity is registred in the dictionary, it is called sapiophilia.

Entrapta:

Entrapta: You really know everything, huh?

[the-jewel-of-ketterdam]

The Professor: And that concludes our plan for this heist.

The Professor: Let’s see if you were all paying attention.

*kahoot music starts*

[genderfluidcrowley]

Tokyo: I’m cold

Rio: here, have my jacket

Palermo: I’m cold too

Berlin: want me to set you on fire?

[acealpaca]

Damian: "You never listen to my advice."

Berlin: "I prefer to learn from my own mistakes, thank you very much."

[incorrectmoneyheist]

waiter at applebee's: what would you like to order?

rio: i'll have the apple, please

waiter: sorry, sir, we don't actually sell apples here

rio, visibly frightened: alright then *gulps* i'll take the bees

[incorrectlacasadepapel]

the professor: tokyo please keep an eye on berlin. he's going to say something to the wrong person and get himself punched

toyko: sure, i'd love to see berlin get punched

the professor: try again

tokyo: i will stop berlin from getting punched

the professor: correct

[incorrectmakomermaidquotes]

Let the matriarchy begin.

Rikki Chadwick

[corvidcantina]

Nairobi, pointing at her chest: the police can't beat us because we have this

Río: because we have heart?

Nairobi: heart? no. I'm pointing at myself. The police can't win because we have me. I'm going to guide us to victory.