incorrectmoneyheist

[incorrectmoneyheist]

denver: i don't care what anyone says, the black cookie part of the oreo is the best part

professor: dark without light is an abyss, light without dark is blinding. you cannot have a coin with one side

tokyo: yo, socrates, its a fucking cookie

[incorrectmoneyheist]

berlin, knocking on the door: sergio, open up!!!

professor: well, it all started when i was a kid-

berlin: that's not what i-

nairobi: no, let him finish

[incorrectmoneyheist]

helsinki: you're ignoring all your problems

tokyo: i know

helsinki: you know that's unhealthy right?

tokyo: i'm going to be ignoring that too

[incorrectmoneyheist]

helsinki: why do good people die?

nairobi: well, if you're going through a garden, what flowers do you pick?

helsinki: the ugly ones

nairobi: exac- wait what?

helsinki: ugly bitches don't belong in my garden

[incorrectmoneyheist]

waiter at applebee's: what would you like to order?

rio: i'll have the apple, please

waiter: sorry, sir, we don't actually sell apples here

rio, visibly frightened: alright then *gulps* i'll take the bees

[incorrectmoneyheist]

moscow: i have a really good memory, name one time i forgot something

berlin: you forgot me at a gas station one time

moscow: that was on purpose, try again

[incorrectmoneyheist]

berlin: well aren't you just sugar and spice and everything nice

denver: well aren't you just rudeness and sarcasm and everything...uh...

berlin: no, go on. if you find something that rhymes with sarcasm and still makes sense, i'll stop talking

[incorrectmoneyheist]

nairobi: good job!

denver: you're giving me a sticker?

nairobi: not just any sticker, a sticker that says "me-wow!"

denver: nairobi, i'm not a child

nairobi: fine i'll take it back then-

denver: no, back off. i earned my this

[incorrectmoneyheist]

angel: this friendship is over, you think everything is a joke!!

raquel: knock knock

angel, huffing disappointedly: ...who's there

raquel, voice cracking: regret

[incorrectmoneyheist]

denver: hey, who wants a tarot reading?

tokyo: these are pokémon cards

[incorrectmoneyheist]

raquel: alright, my turn to ask a question

raquel: what is your biggest weakness, professor?

professor: well, inspector, i can be quite vague

raquel: can you elaborate on that?

professor: yes

[incorrectmoneyheist]

professor: i hate it when people say "if you think this is better than sex, you've clearly never had good sex" like no, clearly you've just never had good lasagna

[incorrectmoneyheist]

nairobi: if me and denver were drowning, who would you save?

professor: you two can't swim?

denver: its a hypothetical question, who would you save?

professor: probably my time and effort