#Menstrual cramps

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart, Chapter 25

18+ MDNI

On Ao3

All other chapters

Tate has devised a plan to get a Girls Trip™ for the two of you, you just need to execute it to perfection.

I definitely don’t dream about having Ace snuggling me when I’m on my period. Like a living weighted blanket who would say sweet things into my ear. That is definitely not a wish of mine and complete self-indulgence.

~

This is the set up for the divergent endings. The good ending will be first, the bad ending will be last.

The next morning, you knocked on the door to the women’s quarters, holding your sketches under your arm. You knew you didn’t need to knock, it had been your living space too at some point. But it didn’t feel right to barge in unannounced. A very hungover looking Heidi cracked open the door and smiled weakly at you.

“What’s up?” she rasped at you. Evidently, more nurses than just Tate had a wild night. 

“Is Tate up? I was hoping to get a few minutes with her before work.” You had all your ideas with you, you were ready to show her some and see which ones she liked.

“Yeah, gimme a sec,” Heidi replied, opening the door all the way. “Tate!” she yelled. There was a chorus of ‘shhhhh’ that rang out among the darkened room. Tate shuffled up to the door, looking worse for the wear. You smirked at her.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked with a bright smile. She glared at you, but without malice. “C’mon, I’ll make you my hangover cure. Chug it and we’ll chat after that.” Tate blinked slowly, but shuffled out the door and put her arm in yours. The two of you walked silently down the halls together, ending in the kitchen. Just like with Ace, you sat her down while you made your drink of lemon, honey, vinegar, chili peppers, seltzer, and a little dash of secret ingredient. Tate emphatically frowned when you handed it to her, but shrugged. 

“Can’t be worse than whatever I drank last night,” she lamented. “Bottoms up,” she said, chugging the drink. You handed her the water right after, which she sipped. “So, I remember some of what we talked about last night. Did you say that you finished the sketches?” 

You grinned at her, putting the drawings in front of her. “I did, we can go over them together and see what you like and what we need to change.” You spread them out, showing her your ideas. “Basically, these are mix and match pieces in a few colors. You can pair any of the tops with any of the bottoms for a good outfit. I even included skirts of various lengths in case you…miss…the mini skirts,” you finished with a wink. “I thought darker fabrics would be better in the case of bodily fluids. Teal and periwinkle tend to be universally flattering, no matter your skin tone, but black or gray are also good choices. In terms of fabric, cotton would be a good choice but we’ll have to go to a fabric store and find some samples…” You went on about dye lots, fabric blends, and clothing cuts, explaining everything in detail to Tate. She nodded along, looking through the sketches. 

“So, what do you think? What can we change to suit your needs better?” you asked the now revived nurse. 

“Absolutely nothing. These are incredible! I love the long pants, it’s so annoying to wash other people’s blood off the tops of your thighs.” She was looking over the drafts intensely, making notes with a pencil she had. “I have nothing to add other than you’re a genius. Let’s get off the boat at the next large island and get some samples. Make a whole day of it,” she said, putting her hand over yours and smiling kindly. You smiled back, but were unsure. You had a feeling it would take a lot of convincing for Marco to let you off the ship. “I’ll work on Marco,” Tate said as if reading your mind, “I have a plan.”

You felt lighter after your brief meeting with Tate. She had to go back to the infirmary for work and you had to go to breakfast. While you ate, Thatch was pretending to be upset with you because he found out that Ace had joined you and Marco for the night. You could tell he wasn’t actually upset but you still felt like you had to walk on eggshells.

“But we did that too, remember?” you reminded Thatch. “Ace came in once when you were brushing my hair for me?” You were seated on Thatch’s lap, like always, eating whatever he was serving you. And, like always, it was delicious. 

“ Mija, of course I remember, Ace snores like a train and burns hotter than the sun when he’s dreaming of you,” Thatch scoffed. He speared another forkful of eggs and brought it to your mouth. You opened without thinking and chewed the gooey, cheesy dish. “Look mami , you ate it all, I’m so proud of you!” Thatch kissed the top of your head. Recently you noticed you gained some weight, your clothes were fitting differently. You felt physically well, better than you had in a long time. You couldn’t say the same for your emotional well being, but at least some part of you was healing. 

“Thanks to you,” you said, giving Thatch a kiss on the cheek. He really was a good chef, and you were in a good mood from your conversation with Tate that morning. 

“Someone’s feeling well,” Thatch commented. You hummed, you didn’t want to reveal your plans with Tate yet. It would take a lot of convincing but you thought she figured out a way to get off the ship together for a day. Thatch kissed you again, this time on your mouth, and set you down. You went off to work, feeling energized and ready to take on the day. 

Until later that morning. 

You felt a long gone but familiar sensation of cramping in your lower stomach. One of the only upsides to being starved half to death was that you lost your period for a long time. Obviously, it was a sign of incredibly poor health, but you liked to look on the bright side of things. You always had terrible cramps when you had your period, and it looked like this time would be no exception. You put your hand on your lower stomach, you needed to talk to the nurses quickly. You apologized to Blenheim, promising to fix his scabbard later in the day. You scurried off to the infirmary, hoping to avoid Marco.

Logically, you knew Marco was a doctor and had studied the female reproductive system. But you still felt much more comfortable talking to other women about menstruation than men. You slunk into the clinic, quickly ducking into one of the unoccupied examination rooms. Peeking through the cracked door, you waited until you saw a lurid pink miniskirt pass by the door. You darted out, scaring Bethany, who dropped her clipboard.

“You can’t just pop out at people like that!” she scolded you. 

“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly. “I need pads and tampons, can I use the ones in the women’s bathroom here?” you whispered. There weren’t many women’s restrooms on the ship, you only knew of the ones in the infirmary and connected to the women’s quarters.

“Sure, they’re communal. You don’t need to ask,” Bethany replied at full volume. You hoped Marco wasn’t listening in.

“Thanks, see you later.” You sped off to the women’s bathroom in the infirmary, grabbing what you needed. You were still wearing a stupid dress, but you swiped some underwear from the clean patient laundry. They were too big, but it was better than nothing. If Marco was mad, well, he could solve the problem himself. Leaving the bathroom, you jumped as you saw the very man you were trying to avoid leaning against the opposing wall. Served you right for surprising Bethany, you supposed.

“Everything alright?” Marco asked, assessing you with his eyes. He was in doctor mode, which made you feel more comfortable. You knew what to expect when he was like this, he was professional, detached, and had good bedside manner.

“Oh, um, yeah. I just got um, my…period.” Marco smiled kindly at you.

“Congratulations yoi. It’s a sign of recovery. However, the first menstruation after extensive amenorrhea is often quite painful. I recommend you go lay down, rest and relax.” Even though it was phrased as a clinical recommendation, you knew it was an order. 

“Ok Marco. Where should I go? I don’t want to ruin any-” Marco waved off your concerns.

“We’re all adults here, no one is upset by the human body. Ace cleaned his room, would you like to go there?” You tried to hide your disgust when you thought about Ace’s room and the last time you’d seen it. Marco laughed.

“I understand your hesitation yoi, but I checked it myself. It’s clean and always the perfect temperature. Go there. I’ll give you some medicine to take with you.” Marco left to rummage in a nearby cart, grabbing a bottle of low grade pain killers. “Take two, and drink some water. I’ll have Ace check on you in an hour or two.” Marco kissed you on your head, turned you around by your shoulders and sent you off with a little push. You didn’t feel that bad, you’d been having your period for many years. Going to lay down preemptively was overkill, you thought, but you weren’t going to disagree with Marco.

An hour later and you were glad Marco had sent you to lay down. You remembered having cramps, of course, but nothing like this. You were curled up on Ace’s freshly made bed, writhing in pain. After the first wave of cramps, you’d taken the pain killers, but they weren’t getting close to helping with the pain. Marco had stopped by briefly, bringing you tea, a hot water bottle, and tucking you under the covers. You asked him to heal you but he said there wasn’t anything wrong with you, that it was excess uterine lining being shed normally. There was nothing to heal, so his flames wouldn’t do anything. He had a busy day and couldn’t stay long but promised to send Ace up. 

In between pains so intense you thought your stomach was being sliced in half, you took a look around Ace’s room. It was so much better than the first time you’d been in the room. He had cleaned out all the food, all the old papers, and done his laundry. Marco was right, it was warm and cozy. You weren’t sure if it was the room itself or if it was somehow the residual effects of his Mera Mera, but you didn’t care. You tried closing your eyes and falling asleep but the closest you could get was dozing in and out of consciousness. 

Creaking, the door opened, and you heard Ace ending a conversation. You kept your back turned to the door and pretended to be asleep in case he could see you.

“ - don’t think she likes it, not like I do…” Ace sounded doubtful about whatever it was. 

“Remember how you were when you joined yoi? All anger and fury? And now look at us,” you could tell he was speaking with Marco. “Give it some time, it will be everything you ever wanted. Family and love, happiness and a place where you belong, all here with us. Here, give her these,” Ace hummed, and it sounded like they kissed. Footsteps told you Marco left, and Ace opened the door, holding a few bottles of pills. He spotted you on his bed and kicked off his shoes, putting the bottles on his desk. You really wanted to ask him about what they were talking about but didn’t have the courage to admit you were listening in to their private conversation. 

“Poor baby,” he said, as you heard him taking off his pants and knife.

“S’ok,” you replied, stretching a little. Ace got into the bed with you, crawling behind you. You whined, you didn’t want to be manhandled right now. You saw Marco had given Ace a bottle of vitamins and another of anti-nausea medication for you. You'd take them later, you couldn't move right now.

“Shhhh. S’gonna be alright.” Ace curled up behind you, spooning you. He moved your hands away from your lower stomach and replaced them with his own. You felt the gentle warmth of his Mera Mera heating you. You mewled and scooted backwards, snuggling into him. Ace buried his face in your neck and held you closer. He let you relax and drift to sleep, holding you tightly in his arms. 

It was a challenging few days for you. Your period was lighter than it normally was, but extremely painful. You didn’t leave Ace’s room much, spending your time reading and thinking about your reply letter to Vista’s brothers. Thatch, Ace, and Marco all visited as they could, with Ace staying with you at night. They were actually…sweet. You wished they were always this way, then you’d have no doubts about staying on the ship with them. Thatch brought you desserts and savory food in equal measure and gave you massages when your muscles were tight. He didn’t make you sit on his lap but let you eat by yourself in Ace’s bed. He tried to hand feed you, but sulkily accepted when you declined. Marco brought you medicine, tea, pads, and more books from his collection. He made sure you were physically comfortable, bringing loose pants, extra blankets and pillows. Ace, of course, warmed you up and snuggled with you until you thought you would merge together on an atomic level. You were thankful he let you hole up in his room.

“Sorry, I know it can’t be easy having me in here all the time,” you said to Ace on the third day. You were laying in bed together, limbs entangled, facing each other. Ace was still dozing after the night you’d spent in each other’s arms. You were brushing his freckles lightly with your fingertips. You were feeling better, you’d be out of his room by the afternoon, you thought.

“S’great. Wish’is all the time,” Ace mumbled. “Would lock you in here’f I could,” he continued, putting his chin on the top of your head. You sighed because you knew that when you got up, you would be back to your previous life of rules and punishments from the three Commanders. You nuzzled deeper into Ace’s arms, keeping the real world at bay for just a few hours longer.

~~~

A few days later, you needed to find Ace once more. You and Tate thought you had figured out a way to finagle a girl’s day out of the Commanders. The two of you wanted to stop at the next big island, coming up in about a week. It was close to the calm belt, but you’d actually been to the island years prior. It was known for its large textile factory and incredible fabric inventory. You’d done a few fashion shows there, maybe you could use some of your previous fame to get a discount on fabrics, or at least try to. It also had a day spa that was known for its wet saunas and hot tubs. You really wanted to go with Tate and enjoy a relaxing girls trip. Tate’s plan would require you to be crafty and a little conniving, but it would be worth it if it worked out. 

Ace was going to go on a mission later that morning, you needed to find him quickly. He was still inhaling food in the mess hall after you’d eaten breakfast. You waited for him outside the mess hall, wanting to speak to him in private. When he left, you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside. You looked up at him with hope in your eyes.

“Ace, can I get off the ship with Tate at the next island? They have a fabric store I want to go to. Please?” You weren’t sure this would work, but you really wanted to go to the fabric store in person. 

“Ah, I don’t think so. You’ll have to ask -” you stopped Ace from talking by pulling him down by his hat string to kiss him. You kissed him deeply, holding him at the back of his neck. All that time you’d spent with him in bed had you feeling connected to him, and you hoped the reverse was true as well.

“Please?” you asked again in a pleading tone. Ace smiled at you, disarmed by the forward display of affection.

“I know you’re trying to manipulate me, but I have to say, it’s working. OK, as long as someone’s with you. Ask Thatch or Marco, though, just to be sure. I’ll be gone by the time the Moby’s docking at the next island, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” 

“Thank you Ace! Thank you, thank you” you kissed his cheeks every time you thanked him, making Ace smile even wider.

“You should ask me for favors more often, I like the way this is going.” Ace husked. He pulled you against him, you could feel his growing erection through his shorts. You rubbed up against him a little bit, teasing him.

“Let’s finish this in a bit, I need to go eat breakfast and Thatch doesn’t like when I’m late,” you replied. One last kiss to Ace and you were on your way. The first part of your plan had been a success.

Next, you waited until it was lunchtime. You were extra good for Thatch, complimenting his cooking and allowing him to feed you without complaint. You finished about two thirds of your food before you started talking to him about the island.

“Thatch, I have a favor I want to ask you,” you began, eyes wide.

“If I can grant it, I will mami. What do you need?” Thatch rubbed your palm with his thumb.

“Can I get off the ship with Tate at the next island? There’s a fabric store I want to go to for the new nurses’ uniforms.” You looked at Thatch hopefully.

“Ah. No, I don’t think so. I don’t want -”

“But Ace already said yes, I was so excited,” you said while making yourself cry. Tears fell down your face and you twisted the knife in Thatch’s heart. “I t-told Tate we could g-go, and I was going to invite y-you -” Thatch frowned and rubbed away the tears from your cheeks.

“ Querida, if it’s that important to you, I’ll talk to Marco. We can try to make it work. I’m not sure it will happen, but we’ll try.” You smiled, stopping the tears.

“Thank you Thatch! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Just like with Ace, you kissed him with every thank you. 

“ Mija it’s not a guarantee, you understand that, right? I don’t want you to be upset if it doesn’t work out in the end,” Thatch said, still stroking your cheek. You gave him a genuine smile - you knew he would try his hardest to let you off the ship. He would go and talk to Marco on your behalf and try to convince the Phoenix into letting you off the ship. Marco would be the toughest of the three, but you thought between you, Thatch, and Tate it would be possible to convince him. You exchanged a few more kisses, thanking him, until he had to leave to prepare lunch for the crew. Part two of Tate’s plan had worked. 

Marco found you in the afternoon as you were on the deck leaning against the main mast, relaxing. You were still taking it easy but the little work you’d been doing had tired you out. How did the crew break so many toilets?

“So I hear you want to have an excursion on the next island,” Marco began, standing over you. He seemed to be in a good mood, or at least hadn’t outright denied you. His half open eyes showed some amusement, which was a good start.

“There’s a textile store that I want to go to with Tate. To get samples for the nurses’s uniforms. I haven’t been off the ship yet.” You tried to keep yourself from rambling but it was always hard for you to keep your cool around Marco.

Marco hummed. “And it has nothing to do with the spa on the island yoi?” You looked up at Marco with wide eyes. He still seemed amused, he wasn’t mad with you yet. He squished your cheeks gently between his thumb and index finger, the corners of his lips quirked up into a cold smile.

“Tate asked me about the store and the spa. And Thatch also came to talk to me about it. You’ve been working everyone to get off the ship yoi.” You swallowed dryly, you felt caught. “You’ve been a good Doveling lately yoi. Had a hard time this week. I’ll allow it with the understanding that one of us will be with you at all times.” He squished your face with a little more force. “We wouldn’t want you to get lost or hurt. We’re always looking out for you, you know that, don’t you Doveling?” 

You nodded. “Yes, Marco. Thank you Marco.” you replied. Even though Marco had said he allowed it, you felt the lingering threat behind his words. He’d be watching your every move and if anything went wrong on this trip, you didn’t think you’d ever be let off the ship again. 

“You can show your appreciation to me later tonight yoi,” Marco said, moving his hand from your face to your hair, pulling it gently. You were forced to tip your face up even higher. “It’s quite lenient of me, don’t you think?” 

“Yes, Marco. Thank you, Marco.” You shivered thinking about what Marco would want in exchange for allowing you off the ship for a day. He kissed your mouth briefly and released his hand from your hair. 

“Stay here and relax a little longer. You look like you need it yoi.” You agreed. It felt like you’d have to pay for your time off the ship with a pound of flesh. And you knew they would be collecting. 

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[mx-jester]

Late night research

[xlocalxpunkx]

Cramps

Logan Howlett x afab!Reader

Warnings: Periods, cramping, gender neutral pronouns, soft!logan, fluffy, very light

Summary: Logan comes home from a mission to find you sleeping in bed, a stain forming under you. He wakes you up to tell you. Then, takes the day off to take care of you.

Logan gently shook you, trying to wake you up. He had gotten home early from a mission and wanted to sleep with his partner and rest but the world had other plans. The red stain below you stared at him from the mattress. You groggily woke up and looked at him, seeing his concerned expression.

“My love, you’ve gotten your period,” He explained and added, “if you go clean up, I’ll change the sheets.” You groaned and nodded. Your period had come a week earlier than it was supposed to. You went and cleaned yourself up, putting your preferred method on to keep any more blood going where it’s not supposed to. Logan’s flannel and a pair of his sweats awaited you when you opened the bathroom door. You smiled, he was so sweet. He risked his clothing to bring you comfort. When you looked around the bedroom, he was no where to be found.

Sighing, you climbed back into bed after changing into his clothes. The sheets were fresh and smelt like Logan’s laundry detergent. You grabbed the remote off the nightstand and turned on the TV. Being woken up, you couldn’t fall back to sleep. Especially with not knowing where Logan was. You put your comfort show on and laid back, waiting.

The door to your bedroom opened 20 minutes later. Logan had a couple grocery bags in tow as he walked in. He smiled at you, setting the bags down on the floor.

“Got you a few things, love.” He told you. He quickly began going through the items he got you; Your favorite chocolate, drinks, candy, chips, some pain meds, and even a little stuffed honey badger animal. A grin spread across your face. He handed you one of the drinks he got you, the pain meds, and the stuffie.

“Chocolate too, please,” You smiled. He handed you the chocolate, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Thank you!” You exclaimed. Logan was so caring to you. He quickly got changed and climbed into bed next to you. He sat closer to the middle.

“Of course, love. Sit in front of me?” He questioned. You didn’t dare deny the sweetest man on the planet a cuddle opportunity. You shifted and placed yourself in between his spread legs, leaning back against him. He snaked both arms around your waist, holding you to him. He rested his head on your shoulder.

“Told Charles I’m taking the day off, for you.” He whispered. You turned your head and kissed him gently.

“You’re so sweet, Lo.” You complimented.

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t tell anyone, kay?” He teased playfully. He showed his soft side to few, but you’re the only one he let it out consistently towards. He remembered all your favorite things. He placed the palm of his hand flat against your abdomen, knowing his naturally higher body heat would help soothe any pain you were having.

You spent the rest of the day in bed, cuddling and watching movies, with Logan doing anything you needed. He was at your beck and call the whole day.

A/N: on my shark week and I just want cuddles and softness from him 😭😭

[tortiefrancis]

important reminder for people who menstruate:

if your cramps are so painful you can't do daily tasks, take care of yourself or get out of bed. if you pass out or vomit from cramps. if you can't walk or stand up properly from cramps. if you need to take pain medicine when you get cramps or else you will get sick, pass out, whatever.

seek medical help. people talk about how painful cramps are, and it's true, but there's a level of pain that simply isn't normal, and you need to get it checked

signed: someone who was recently diagnosed with endometriosis

[graceofagodswrath]

Menstrual Cycles and Aliens

“I apologize, but Williams is doing what?”

Kate sighed, brown eyes rolling at Ka’oolai’s stiff confusion. “Bleeding Niagara Falls out of her uterus. She’s gonna need a couple days.”

“Katy.” Jasmine hissed. “That is not how you explain this shit to people.”

Kate’s lips thinned in exasperation. “It makes them listen! God knows how many times I had to describe it so graphically to get all the men in my family to understand that you can’t just ‘suck it up!’”

The three sat in the dining lounge, a room on the transport ship meant for relaxation for workers on their breaks. Ka’looai, the ship’s second-in-command, had inquired about Pilot William’s ask for absence. Kate Blanche, the engineer and second roommate to De’maya, had answered in her usually blunt way. Luckily, The third roommate and Quartermaster of the ship, Jasmine Lativos, had been there to cushion Ka’looai’s immediate confusion.

Ka’looai held up their four hands to the two humans, insectoid limbs the notable deep, iridescent purple of their native race, Yamogai. They resembled a mix of a beetle and praying mantis, tall with hard, spiny exoskeletons. They displayed a variety of colors like humans (tho more vibrant), but the most common was purple.

“I apologize… I do not understand. Does Pilot Williams have an open wound? Do they need to go to the medibay?” Ka’looai’s voice sounded like the vibrating of beating wings, so they had to pronunciate other languages precisely in order to be understood. So they spoke slowly and with a deliberate concentration. This voice also gave way to an accent that made them pronounce certain letters like ‘v’s. There was a running joke with humans that Yamogai were related to Germans, as their accents were similar when speaking English.

Jasmine shook her head. “No. She’s experiencing a part of her menstrual cycle, the human female reproductive cycle.” Ka’looai cocked their head, so Jasmine continued. “Every month, we expel the inside lining of our uterus, the organ that develops a human fetus if the female is pregnant. If a female isn’t pregnant, our uterus removes the old lining of tissue and blood and gets rid of it from our body to create a new lining in case she does become pregnant. It’s the same muscle contractions as childbirth, though at a smaller fraction. This process can be extremely painful for some, if not most people, and De’maya is one of them. So she just needs some time off to deal with and recover from this experience.”

Ka’looai stared for a moment, mantis-like eyes seeming to stare through the humans souls. “I… see. I will inform the captain, then. Is there anything else we must know about this… event? I assume you two experience it as well as you said every human female does?”

Kate shrugged, long brown braid shifting in her shoulders. “Mine isn’t so bad usually. I’m one of the lucky ones. I get irritable and the occasional back pains, but I don’t need time off recuperate necessarily.”

“Irritable?”

Jasmine smiled, more of grimace for those experienced in reading human expressions. “Annoyed. Aggressive. The process increases the amount of estrogen and testosterone in our bodies, hormones that can heavily influence our emotional states. So we can be a bit…” Jasmine paused to think. “Intense.”

“Ah.” Ka’looai’s antennae twitched emphatically. “That is why I sensed the rise in strange pheromones. So this increase of chemicals affects you physically, emotionally, and mentally. I see why Pilot Williams asked for an absence then. Will the two of you require the same?”

Jasmine made an expression that Ka’looai could not understands. She bared her teeth while narrowing here eyes and scrunching her nose, dark skin wrinkling. Her hands rolled synchronously back and forth, a gesture the Yamogai recognized as a sign for uncertainty. “My cycle is more chaotic. Many factors can influence the way it is, and I tend to be influenced heavily by those.” She gestured at the other human. “Whereas Kate’s average is light and less painful, and De’maya’s average is heavy and extreme pain, mine can be either depending on my situation. If I’m stressed and haven’t taken care of myself, it’s usually pretty painful. If the opposite, I can usually function pain free. It depends.”

“What do you mean by light and heavy?”

“That refers to the amount of blood and tissue we expel. Light is very little, medium is a bit more, heavy means a lot. Some people have more lining than others. The heavier the flow can also increase the amount of pain.”

“Is this process different for every human?”

Both women nodded.

“And you still work through such obstacles?”

“Pretty much.” Jasmine confirmed.

“Interesting.” Ka’looai hummed, the sound vibrating the air rhythmically. “So human females expel a large amount of their own blood and tissue every month simply for not reproducing. And it is incredibly painful, yet some of you still function through it. No wonder females are in higher demand than males. You are a hardy species.” Their laugh sounded like the erratic buzzing of fly multiplied by ten. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Oh, there’s a shit ton if you wanna properly educate yourself on human reproduction.” Kate waved a scarred, oil darkened hand. “But Jaz gave you the basics. Hah, you may know and understand it better than the average human male.” Kate chuckled dryly and Jasmine huffed. “But that’s a debate hole that can be saved for another time.”

“If you want to learn more, read some human biology books, and we can answer any questions you have.” Said Jasmine. “Make sure they’re recent ones tho, the outdated ones are full of a lot of misinformation.”

“I see. I will do so. Human biology continues to fascinate. I have always found learning about other races to be rather intriguing, and humans never disappoint.”

“Yeup.” Kate leaned back and threw her arms behind her head. “Just don’t start making jokes about us leaving puddles and shit everywhere, or not being trusted behind the wheel.” Her eyes narrowed and she bared her teeth in a not-friendly-smile. “I will commit some “transgressions,” if so.”

Ka’looai’s antennae twitched. “Understood.”

~~~~~~

I’m currently going through this month’s rounds, and felt like distracting myself. Finally had the motivation to write and of course it was during a shitty time of my life. Needed me some alien feels that understand my woes better than my own family. I know this prompt has been done a lot, but I wanted to give my own take on it.

[anmitdcosplayer]

Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky paid more attention to what women would like than a lot of straight male writers. His stallion novel protagonist wooed women with homemaking skills and tortured enemies with a demonic period simulator.

[seafumes]

Cramping 🙁

synopsis: itto helping you deal w/ ur cramps

genre: fluff

cw: writing this while cramping so very self indulgent, implied fem reader, no specified pronouns, period cramps but can be seen as just abdominal cramping, itto being the dumb bf he is

As inexperienced as he is, he knows a bit about the topic, with the help of Shinobu of course.

He tries to do everything to help you, which leads him to fussing over you 24/7. (not this time tho! he's a little tame in this one)

Golden retriever bf 4ever, he just wants to make sure his fav person is okay 🙁

you writhe in bed, twisting and turning, just trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

but you can't.

and who's to blame? your cramps.

you sigh, eventually finding yourself in fetal position, accidentally kicking the blanket off you and your boyfriend who's snoring away beside you, unaware of your pain.

well, the boyfriend you thought was unaware.

in such a quick motion he rolls over facing you and calls out to you, nearly causing you to jump out of your own skin; and temporarily taking your mind away from the pain.

"[name].." he says, still quite drowsy from just waking up.

"you kicked the blankets off, somethin' wrong?" he questions, yawning and stretching as he sat up to look at you better.

you mutter something along the lines of "i'm fine," turning your gaze away from him.

he could see you weren't though, looking intensely at the way your hands rubbed at your stomach, seemingly trying to alleviate the pain.

"is it.. um.." he didn't know how to bring it up, but with his eyes drifting off to the side, and a hand scratching the back of his neck, you could already tell what he was trying to ask.

you smile at this, chuckling lightly before another wave of cramps come in. this one being slightly worse than before. you grimace in pain, but you nod at his question.

he thinks for a second, an idea popping into his head.

his body moves before you can even register what he's doing,

he takes your slightly smaller form and wraps his arms around you, you back leaning into his muscular chest.

he was surprisingly warm, it was nice, and comforting.

"i..i think heat helps with this..?" he states quietly, his voice wavering as he places his hands on your stomach to replace yours. (poor thing just wants to make sure he's doing it right🙁💞)

you relax into his embrace, your eyes finally closing without worrying about too much pain.

even though his hands don't take away all of the pain, it's enough for you to get back to sleep, and you're more than thankful for that.

you'll have to remind yourself to thank him properly once you wake up.

an: i haven't written in a while, hi!!! new writing style so i hope y'all like it! 'm currently rotting in my bed cuz of my cramps so i decided to write, again, hope u enjoyed 💞

reblogs r appreciated as always!💞

[once-upon-the-earth]

idk who needs to hear this but all my fellow people with periods out there, take your freaking paracetamol. There is no glory in suffering through it and just because you can does not mean you have to.

[leezlelatch]

being very self-indulgent and sending this as a distraction while i think about how sweet copia would be with a partner that is in misery over cramps…the most gentle and doting lover.

Copia x reader, period cramps, comfort, fluff. I'd like to preface this by saying I do not get cramps. I am very blessed, although it does make up for it in other horrible period things, but I hope I can do this somewhat justice. <3

This would be the perfect time for the blanket wrapped tightly around your body to swallow you whole. It's pulled taut over your bent form in the bed. Your knees are drawn up to hold the heating pad against your abdomen, and every wave of pain which passes through you from the great period god in the sky is quickly driving you to madness.

You relax slightly when it passes, and the catch of the door captures your attention. You peek out from the cocoon and a smile quickly forms when you see Copia. He's surprisingly not in his paints although you know it's early in the day, and there's a plastic bag in his hand which rustles as he approaches you.

"Topolino," he coos, sitting on the edge of the bed. His fingers hook beneath the blanket to draw it down, and his lips capture your own the moment they are revealed to him. "Still hurting?"

"I'm dying," you nod, your voice solemn. Copia cuts you a look, although a smile still plays at his lips. "Are you not working today?" You continue.

"Later on. This morning, I am going to spend time with il mio amore. While you are hurting." His fingertips brush wisps of hair from your forehead, his smile growing as your expression brightens. "Ah, see? You are feeling better already. Your Papa is healing, I know this."

His words make you laugh and you half-heartedly swat at him, the vibration of his chuckle warm against your fingertips as they rest on his belly. "What did you bring?" You ask, glancing at the plastic bag.

"Sì, your goodies!" He says, staring down into the bag for several seconds before meticulously pulling out each one and lining them along your blanket. Hersheys, Kit Kats, and 3 Musketeers, three types of iced tea, two pepperoni rolls, and a big bottle of ibuprofen.

You blink in surprise at your Copia's offerings, and then press your forehead to his hand which rests on the bed. "I am so in love with you," you say, your voice thick with emotion.

"As I am in love with you, baby," Copia says, leaning down to cradle your head beneath his, his free hand curled through your hair. "I don't want you in pain, eh?" He lightly guides your head back so he can climb over you and settle at your back, his arms pulling you into the comfort of his embrace. "Let's watch a movie. Eat your snacks. Get snuggly." He squeezes you a little and you laugh. "See? Better already."

You turn your head for a kiss, and you linger there for a moment, lips pressed to his, until your uterus reminds you that it is furious. You groan softly and reach for the ibuprofen as Copia attempts to rub and add pressure to your lower stomach. "Two ibuprofen," he says, nose nudging at your cheek. "None of that 'more will make it work faster', sì?"

You grumble but comply, and Copia laughs softly as he presses several light kisses to your neck. You unwrap a candy and take a bite and then pass it back to Copia, his yummy noise filling you with a warmth even sweeter than what your heating pad provides. Having a period sucks, and having cramps is even worse, but having a partner who loves and cares for you in all of these things - is even better.

Kofi

[sonicasura]

Considering all the shenanigans that happen in every iteration where Autobot-Decepticons duke it out on Earth and they can connect to the Internet... I am legitimately surprise neither piss off a hacker.

At best, clashes between both sides result in minor property damage alongside disturbing the peace. You know that's saying something if this is the preferred option. Plus the whole planet is caught in the crossfire when you take groundbridges and airships into account.

There are people smart enough to hack government systems so whose to say a Cybertronian is safe? A spiteful technical genius could load up a virus where everybot affected feels the dreadful pain of menstruation. Why upload a kill switch when you can be petty as fuck with period cramps?

Even more savage if the hacker has a countermeasure where trying to remove the virus just upgrades it. To what? How about stimulating the pain women feel going through childbirth. There are machines that programmed to do it like in this clip from Impractical Jokers where Q gets strapped to this device for his punishment.

Offender starts at level one as there are 8 stages. Every attempt increases the intensity by a stage. Pretty sure the 2nd or 3rd stage is enough to make one submit.

Probably the most embarrassing(for Cybertronians) yet hilarious(for the hacker) way to end a war. Both sides have to play nice if they want this 'feature' disabled. It's easy to flip it back on in seconds so no psyches.

Humans are bloody space orcs. We come in many flavors with spite and pettiness being some. To do something like this is possible.

[empressgeekt]

fic idea- batboys vs. Period cramp simulator

so, I am part of the half of the population that has a uterus. And as such once a month I am visited by the red demon, that makes my stomach like it's some how both a bottle of squirting ketchup and giving birth to a flipping jellyfish. To cope I watch videos of men using the period cramp simulator and laugh at their screams of pain.

So, I'm sitting on the couch, trying to ignore the deep rooting ache in my lower stomach, a cold pad on my head, heated pad on my stomach and back, eating all the chocolate ice-cream I want (don't you dare tell me that I shouldn't have caffeine, I'm eating all the treats I want), after popping advil like candy for the past few days, and thought; "how would the bat brothers would react to the cramp simulator."

So, the fic would start with spoiler asking the boys (dick, Tim and Jason, [Duke opted out and they didn't want to use the machine on an 8-year-old so Damien is also on the side-lines]), what they know about periods, and they know next too nothing. Oracle starts explaining the basics, what's in the blood, why it happens, and how it works. Dick and Tim getting more and more nervous as she continues.

Nightwing; so wait...it's like contractions? Like labor?

O: the uterus is a muscle, and the isn't just going to fall out.

RR: so it's like churning?

Spoiler: yep, best I can describ it is like a bunch of knife fingers clawing st the inside of your stomach.

Black bat:*holding thumb over start button on the pain simulator* ready?

N: not anymore....

RH: just press start already, I've been tortured and then blown up this can't be any worse.

After 5 minutes of cursing, cries of pain and stomach clutching, Cass reveals they were only on level 3 of 10.

After a wave of disbelief, and claims they the girls were in no way walking around like that. Steph puts a simulator on and sits calmly at a level 8 while Tim is curled up shaking on the floor next to her at a 4.

The brothers try to go through the whole day hooked up to the simulators, training, lunch, case work, patrol. They try to Google things that help with period pain. Needless to say they get pissed at how little information their is, Bruce joins in this part as he wants for know how help his daughters/niece if needed. Tim gets especially pissed at the "Shouldn't have caffeine" thing.

They don't last long when challenged to go to level ten....

In the end, Dick vows to treat his sisters like queens on their time of the month. Jason just said his respect for them has grown tenfold. Tim works on giving all uterus owning employees at WE three-days of menstrual leave a month. Bruce tells the girls that if they ever need a break because their cramps get debilitating, say the word and they'll be excused from anything.

Duke is just glad he chickened out and Damien stares at the simulators and swears he will concur them once he is old enough. Much to Tim dick and Jason's horror.

[queenendless]

❤️‍🩹 Period (Adult!Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader) ❤️‍🩹

A/N: So much chaos happened at home last Friday in tune with my time of the month. Things are better now. And today's newest episode ... oh God. Next week and beyond is gonna crush my soul.

Ergo writing self indulgent comfort fics to quell the soul. Just period stuff, fluff, comfort, basically Gojo being the #1 boyfriend/husbando~

All credit to characters and image below goes to Gege sensei. PLEASE DON'T STEAL OR COPY MY WORK, RATHER LIKE AND REBLOG. I hope you enjoy.

Menstrual cycles are quite the monthly hassle.

The first day came today.

Curled up on the couch, trying to relax despite the mixed emotions coursing through your hormonal state when your phone pinged about a notification.

(Heyyyyy~)

You could imagine his cheery, upbeat voice singing it out loud that made you smile at least at the thought of it.

(Hey.)

(Missions are done! Errands done! Souvenir shopping time~! Ya want anything?)

You whined weakly as your hand clutched your now swollen tummy.

(Can you pick up some pads and or tampons and pain relievers on the way back?)

(Mother nature calling?)

(Yeah.)

(KK. Imma get the munchies. Sweet? Salty?)

You texted him your preferences.

(♡)

You smiled, sending him one more message.

(。・ω・。)

After being gone for 10 days straight, you couldn't wait to see him again.

After changing in the bathroom, you had closed the door behind yourself when you felt a familiar cursed presence appear behind the front door of your shared apartment, followed by the clacking sound of dress boots being taken off.

"Y/n~! I'm home~!"

The boosted hormonal wave crashing into you had you tearing up at the sight of your blindfolded giant sorcerer lover before barreling over into a tight bear hug.

"Oya oya~ What is this~?" Gojo lifted you up under your arms, bringing your blubbering face right in front of his, teeth gleaming in that smug ass smile. "My sweet angel is shedding tears for me~? Oh I'm flattered~!"

You wacked your fists and feet into him — though Infinity was making sure they did not connect. "You can go off on your ego boost after I lay down, god damn Toru!"

Gojo's enriching deep chuckle left you fuzzy as he carried you up in one arm, waving his bag of goodies in your face. "Okie dokie!" He plopped you down on the couch, dropping the bag in your lap, then dipped his head down. "Time for kissies~!"

His deep smooch was smothering – in a sweet laced good way.

"Gojo," His giant hands cradled your face, tilting you as he kissed you from a different angle, making it very difficult to focus. "Uh–!" His many tender pecks peppered many times on your lips, feeling his warm breath brush your moistness. "My heating pad." You giggled as his lips wandered to your cheek, then your neck, your mental processing faltering from his insisting distracing lips. "Please?"

His disappointed whine dispersed as your hands ruffled his propped up spiky snow white hair, kissing his cheek. "Alright alright." His exasperated sigh was betrayed by his mirthful expression as he pecked your nose then stalked off to your shared bedroom, startling you from his shouting voice down the hall. "Uh sweetie?! The battery in this is dead!"

You swore under your breath, whimpering as a finicky upset kiddie from the cramps, before pulling a small capped bottle of Ibuprofen out of the bag. "Could you go out and buy a replacement?" You asked as you downed two small capsules with water from your water bottle.

"Hmm … I could … OR!"

Feeling tall lean firmness behind you made you nearly flail off the couch hard, caught by those dark blue sleeved arms of his.

"Toru! One of these days, warping is gonna give me a heart attack, I swear to God!"

"Unless it's by a Death Note, I think not."

"God." You grumbled as he snatched your small Roku control before turning on the big HD TV as you rummaged out a small package of your munchies. "What about my heating pa – ?"

You stopped speaking, shuddering as his giant hand slid underneath the hem of your top, resting on your bulging tummy, rubbing his fingers soothingly slowly around your bulge.

"You were saying?" His sultry voice purred in your ear.

You shakily breathed at how hot he sounded.

You felt yourself melting against him, his skin being more than enough to chase the discomfort away. "I never thought I'd find a blindfolded giant so hot." You shyly, shamelessly admitted.

"And you're my warm marshmallow." Gojo laughed.

You rolled your eyes, grinning as you ripped the bag open, offering some of it to him behind you, knowing whatever you ate he'd want as well. "Stuff that mouth of yours already, you goof."

His delighted hum, nuzzling his head atop yours, cradling your belly softly, it all relaxed your hormonally effed up nerves.

Binging Netflix, eating some snacks, cuddling on the couch, this is what you missed.

Gojo especially missed this.

For even the strongest sorcerer of the modern age was also the loneliest man there ever was. Exorcizing curses, flipping off the stingy higher ups, watching his students progress from afar, so much done and yet he would stay restless until he felt you in his arms again.

Chewing on more munchies by the handful, he felt your form laxing. Looking down, vocally aweing at the sight of your open mouthed self, your form slowly and softly rising then descending as you breathed, nodding off in the middle of watch time.

He knew these monthly visits from Mother Nature meant you'd be more moody, more drained, so a relaxed sleeping Y/n was the better outcome to receive.

Even in this corrupted present world, he hoped his students, friends and allies would one day be at his level to help him bring down the current world and make it anew. Better for the good souls out there.

Especially for the one that's been filling the emptiness left inside him the most.

Lowering down the volume, he set the remote aside on the coffee table before the couch, watching as you mumble slurry discontent at having his hands leave you.

Gojo Satoru. Your resident heating pad. Noted.

Wiping his hand with some stray napkins you left on the table then leaving the opened half empty snack bag there as well, he turned you carefully on your side so your front would mesh with his, absorbing his warmth into you, the pinched frown on your face melting into that smile he adores so much, nuzzling your cheek into his jacketed chest.

Sliding his hands beneath the hem again, he began rubbing circles in your back, eating up the sight of the shivers your dreaming self gave off, firmly kissing the side of your head as he became lost in your scent.

Lost in this slice of heaven as the troubles of his life and the rest of this world seemed to wash away, he drifted off to nap-ville only to meet you there himself, murmuring words to imprint his biggest constant thought in all your time spent apart.

"I missed you too."

Ah, it's good to be home.

[1tz-4ll-m3]

I’m gonna rip my fucking uterus out my body

[pr1ncessk1tty]

[friendlyfox34]

Feeling woozy-