#Maybe I should start tagging that for relevant chapters

[aleyothorncrow]

Raise Up This Gift, I'll Sharpen the Knife: Chpt. 8: Lothering

Rating: M || WC: (4,104/27,989) || Lothering Arc || Chpt: 8/25

(-> Read from the beginning)

Chapter Excerpt:

The one where deathroot grows amongst the wheat.

Only Blackwall gave an unconscious sigh as he stared at the nearby tavern, still full of rowdy laughter and music despite the pitched tents and parked wagons lined all the way up to its door. “Oh? So bread’s off the table, but ale’s still fair game?” Vivienne scoffed, and Mirenan started to scold her with a sharp, “Viv—” But Blackwall beat her to it. “Ale would at least fill the belly.” Despite the downward furrow of his brow, he didn’t appear to be angry at all with the enchantress. No, it was something between challenge and charm that Mirenan could not put a word to—something in a language she did not know. But Vivienne seemed to understand, and she seemed strangely persuaded. “You know, it might not be a bad idea. And with how popular this establishment appears to be, the price must not be too dear.” She turned to Cullen, who still had the pouch of silver. “You have got to be kidding.” All of Cullen’s resentment toward Vivienne blinded him to whatever persuasion lurked in Blackwall’s eyes. “Do you really expect me to open the purse strings so you can both drown yourselves in drink?”

Chapter-specific tags/warnings below the cut.

Chapter-specific tags: Lavellan POV, Blackwall POV, Cullen, Vivienne, The Iron Bull

Chapter-specific warnings: No warnings for this chapter. :)

[arcanewhoosh]

Tribulations and Triumphs (Partners in Crime, chapter 7)

This chapter is also posted in AO3 here

3.7k words

Proofread? Y/N

Relevant Tags: Jinx x Reader, Modern AU

After two weeks of radio silence, you and Jinx finally have a chance to talk and hash things out. Meanwhile, the Hex Coil project is given another chance to prove itself.

This was supposed to be a longer chapter but I saw that I was pushing 4k words and I hadn't even started the supposed last scene so there's a section that's alluding to a flashback, but the flashback will be in the next chapter instead, along with the last scene.

Also one of the reasons this took longer is because I had an entirely different scene with Jinx written out. Then about a week ago I randomly realized that the scene didn't feel like it was the sensible route to go with, so I scrapped it and went with the current version. But that also means I might have to write more chapters lol.

In the few seconds between you turning the doorknob and the door itself opening, a flurry of thoughts managed to run through your mind.

Do I apologize first? Will she apologize first? Who's more in the wrong? Wait it's probably me. Dammit. Have I apologized enough? Should I have eased up on the texting maybe?

After all, you spent the better part of the past two weeks being absolutely pathetic chasing after Jinx. You could admit that now, since- mercifully- she was the one who showed up at your door and not the other way around. But now that she was actually at your door, you realize that all those days wanting to talk to her, you hadn't properly thought out what you wanted to say to her--whatever that meant.

Then there was your earlier conversation with Viktor, which spurred the rational, self-respecting part of your brain. The part that told you that Jinx should've discussed the party instead of jumping the gun and surprising you with a room full of people. Some of which you didn't even know.

Why is she here? To talk, obviously. But would she only talk about the party; why she did it? Would she talk your ear off for starting the fight? Would she apologize? You realize quickly that one of the drawbacks of reconnecting with people you haven't spoken with in years, is that you no longer have a solid sense as to what their motives are.

You steel yourself as you open the door, forcing your face to remain impassive.

Flowers are immediately thrust into you face when the door does fully open.

"I'm sorry." Is what greets you from behind the assailing purple flowers.

You blink. "Flowers?"

"… Yeah I don't know either." She shrugs, not out of nonchalance, but from what you can tell, anxiousness, nerves. And just like that, seven words addressed to you, and your resolve is already chipped at the edges.

The both of you stand there for a few moments, Jinx not making a move to enter like she usually does; you not moving aside to let her in. You could count on one hand the number of times Jinx reeled in her usually unfiltered nature. First when you two had met as kids, second when Vi had gotten mad at her for getting paint on her boxing gloves, and third… back during times you'd rather not remember.

"Come on in." You say as you open the door wider and step to the side. She walks in as you mutter a slightly confused thank you for the flowers. She's in the middle of making a comment about Caitlyn once bringing Vi flowers as an apology when she notices the bat resting by the wall. She stops mid-stride and raises an eyebrow at you.

"In my defense, I thought I was gonna get robbed."

Who the hell would knock before robbing someone. You hear her response in your head before she can even say it. That's a lot of snark for someone apologizing, you'd then answer. But she doesn't, and it throws you off just a tiny bit. 

"Yeah, that's fair." Another awkward pause as she waits for you to close the door. "I came here to apologize about the party. It was a bad idea." It was a terrible idea. But you don't say that, of course. Instead, you simply nod and wait for her to continue.

“I can see that it made you really uncomfortable and that’s why you reacted that way. I shouldn’t have assumed that a couple of years and you’d be okay to party or whatever, and that’s on me.”

Is she… following an apology format? She couldn’t be. Surely, self-assured, stubborn, prideful, smart Jinx wouldn’t google how to set up an apology. But then again, it was something you were taught in group therapy back in the day. Who’s to say that she wasn’t taught the same things. She does look sincere, though, if not struggling, absolutely out of her element.

“I feel really shitty about it and… I really want to make it up to you, only if you want, no pressure, take your time with it-" She rubs her hands on her face and lets out a grunt before flopping onto your couch. "God, why is this so hard?”

“Apologizing to me is hard?” You quirk an eyebrow.

She straightens immediately. “No, no of course not. It’s…ugh, stupid Caitlyn and her gentle parenting.” She mutters the last part out, clearly annoyed, but you still catch it. If you weren’t trying so hard to remain stoic, you would've laughed.

"What about Caitlyn?"

"Nothing! I'm-" She stands and walks up to you, for a moment you think she's about to seize your hands. A habit she reacquired and often used when she was trying to reassure you that her latest project was totally safe and wouldn't blow up.

It always blew up.

"I'm just… I had this entire plan on how to do this, and I knew what I was supposed to say, and now." You try to ignore the pang of disappointment in your chest when she stops herself from reaching out to you.

"I messed this up, too." She wraps her arms around herself, eyes downcast. You stop yourself from walking over to her and lifting her chin up.

She sighs for a moment, before continuing. "I really do feel bad about what I did, and I feel worse for running off after."

"And not speaking to me for two weeks." You add, your tone snappy but dulled at the edges. "You could've… I don't know, at least let me know you were okay?" Her head snaps up to look at you, a mix of surprise and confusion on her face.

"Why would you need to know if I was okay?" You scoff and throw your hands up. so much for staying impassive.

"Because I care? Because we spent the better half of the past few months with each other than without?" The confession nets the opposite of the response you were hoping for. You half expected her to be upset about your sarcasm, half expected her to look like she understood what you wanted to convey--I am so fucking sorry about what I did too--but instead she... Looks more confused?

"I started a whole fight and put your family in the hospital, and you’re… you’re not even mad?" Now you're confused, too. "I don’t know what’s worse, you apologizing or you shouting at me.”

She opens her mouth to say something, but quickly closes it again. Her eyes leave yours for a few moments, instead settling to a spot a little to your left. A quirk she has when she's trying to think about what she wants to say.

"But... The party--"

"Was something you should've discussed with me first, and not jumped into, yes." You hold your hand up when you see her about to cut in. "But even I can admit I was way out of line with how I reacted. And then I kept trying to contact you like some creep."

Your attempt at a joke flies over her head, and nets you the opposite of your desired response. "I ghosted you for two weeks, and did this whole party thing; why aren't you mad?" Her voice starts to rise at her question, and you find your temper flaring in response.

"Because I recognize that I screwed up, too? Why the hell would you want me to be mad?"

"Cause you're being too fucking nice!"

"Didn't you come here to apologize? Now you're upset that I wanna resolve this? What's wrong with talking this out like adults?"

Even though you don't know Jinx as well as you used too, her tendency to close herself off and blow up at people when she was too anxious to talk thing out is something that has never changed. You know you should be the more mature one, the one who takes the high road, the calm one. Her face scrunches up in anger.

"Oh, excuse me for being childish, oh righteous one!"

Maybe it was the fact that it was three in the morning, maybe it was the fact that her visit caught you off guard, or maybe you do have a right to be angry, to yell, to ask her What were you thinking? I thought you'd know me better than to bring up a bad memory.

"You know what?" You scoff. "I think I am mad about the party. Because what the fuck were you thinking?" The wrong thing to say, really. But now you're angry, and you find that you don't really care what comes out of your mouth.

"Oh here we go. What were you thinking, Jinx? You should've known better, Jinx." She does a mocking impression of your voice "I'm sorry for trying to do something nice for you--"

"You literally could've talked to me about this first!" Your voice cracks a bit as you shout. You never really did well with verbal confrontations. "It's not rocket science."

Jinx, however, is an expert at it. "Well my bad for thinking you got over it in therapy. Didn't you have that in juvie?"

Oh.

That'll do it.

It takes a few seconds for her to register what she had just said. But you, it hits you the moment the words left her mouth. The immediate ringing in your ears, the heat in your arms that starts creeping down to your hands as your breathing becomes ragged.

Her brows unfurrow, and her eyes widen as--what you hope is--immediate regret washes over her face. The I'm sorry, that was too far, I didn't mean it already one her lips. But it's too late now.

It’s amazing--frighteningly amazing really--that the one person who could convince you to talk at fuck all in the morning; who could wear down the guard you set up for yourself without even trying; make you forgive her so easily—and you’ve already forgiven her for the party, honestly—could single-handedly tear your chest open and rip you apart.

But should you really be surprised?

"Get out." You say through gritted teeth. You turn your face when her eyes try to meet yours.

"Wait-"

"Get. Out." You blink away the tears threatening to fall down your face. You are not going to let her see you cry. "Don't fucking speak to me, again." You turn around and walk over to the door, open in, and wait for her to step through. All the while looking at the wall in front of you.

No words are heard through the quiet hallway of your building as Jinx leaves, only the loud slamming of your apartment door.

Despite having an absolutely shitty week, significant progress had been made with the Hex Coil. Firstly, the Council had agreed to reopen the testing site for Hex Tech, after a lengthy discussion on how you absolutely needed the chambers to run more tests and; how high the return on investment would be if you were able to test successfully and release this to the public during a power crisis. Secondly, after having to redo the schematic diagrams for the Hex Coil--and a little help from an anger-infused work fixation--you were able to figure out how not to blow up the entire setup while activating the gemstone. Now, all you needed was another run through with Jayce and Viktor at the testing chamber.

You’re currently wrapped up in drawing a barely comprehensible graph, occasionally looking over to your computer to confirm that the manual computations you were making matched up with the ones on your screen. Viktor and Jayce were looking over at machine diagnostics, making sure nothing would go wrong with all the hardware that was just replaced.

"Okay, so the simulation didn't blow up the computer, so theoretically, the real thing shouldn't blow up either." You say to yourself as you try to give yourself a pep talk, unaware of Viktor raising an eyebrow at your statement.

“I don’t think the computer’s processing capabilities have anything to do with our test running correctly.” You hear him say. You don’t turn around, too engrossed on the graph you were making.

“Well—I mean I made the simulation so…” You trail off, hoping that Viktor drops the topic. The simulation was pretty well made. You should know, you spent the entire week making it.

“Uhuh.” Is the response you get. You feel an unreasonably heavy hand pat you on the shoulder, which could only mean this was Jayce offering support.

“It’ll be fine, we worked out all the kinks from the first test. If something else goes wrong, we’ll fix it again.” Ever the optimistic, Jayce gives your shoulder a squeeze before returning to his monitors, putting on his protective goggles. “So, are we ready to test this, or what?”

Viktor follows suit, giving you a thumbs up before putting on his goggles. “Diagnostics are good, ready when you are.” He says as he turns a key, and you hear the familiar hum signaling the equipment in the testing chamber coming to life.

Oh so suddenly, your nerves are alight. With the time-consuming distraction of having to set up the Hex Coil reaching its ends, you’re suddenly very, very aware of the weight of the project. A million different scenarios of how things can go wrong suddenly flit though your mind, the events of Progress Day—and unfortunately, the events after—at the forefront.

You make your way towards the observation windows, and see the rods around the main and subcoils start to spin. An update that you deemed needed. It would take the load of the entire set up if you did a warm start with the coils, instead of having everything spring to life at the same time.

A knot forms in your stomach, whether from anticipation, or dread, you're not sure. Between the first test just a few weeks ago, and the expectation of results for this test, everything is suddenly starting to feel very real. As if the past week—three—flew by in an indistinguishable blur.

You shake your head, trying to will away the dread creeping up on you.

You’ll be fine. A voice in your head says. A memory, really, an unwelcome one at that.

What if I won’t be?

I’ll catch you, don’t worry about it.

“Sprout?”

You blink.

Jayce. Jayce is calling from behind you.

You quickly shake your head and put on your headphones and goggles, pretending to now hear Viktor’s Are you alright? And opting to stand near the main unit, putting a hand on the glass casing of the lever. You pull down the mic from your headphones—another new addition that made it easier to communicate while the coil was operating.

“Testing chamber clear?” You start.

“Clear!” You wince slightly as Viktor’s loud, staticky voice comes through the headphones.

“You don’t have to shout anymore, Viktor, we have microphones now!” Jayce’s own voice comes through, albeit at a much more reasonable volume.

“Sorry!” Viktor shouts again.

The moment is ridiculous enough that some of the tension leaves your shoulders, and you allow yourself to let out a chuckle.

“Alright, let’s stay focused here.”

“Sorry.” They both say.

“Main coil?”

“Level.”

“Sub coils?”

“Fully operational!”

Now or never.

“Hex Coil test running in three—“You lift the glass panel.

I’ll catch you!

“Two—“

Promise?

“—One.”

You pull the lever. The humming grows louder, clearly audible despite the protection of the headphones. The light from the gemstone seeps into the observation room, flooding it in blue. All three of you whip your heads to the screen showing the chamber. Sparks of electricity already transferring from the main coil to the sub coils.

"Rectifiers?" Your eyes don’t leave the screen as you ask. The rods on the coils look stable, and there aren't any immediately visible red flags. You hear a cackle of static followed by a They're stable! from Jayce.

You make your way to the observation window. Confident in leaving the main panel after installing kill switches in Jayce and Viktor's stations in case anything went awry.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and lean a bit closer to the glass, only now allowing yourself to take in the beauty of the sight before you. The gemstone is glowing a brilliant blue, casting light across the entire testing chamber. Nothing has blown up yet, and Everything is working and We're fine, we're fine, we're fine.

Then you notice the hum start to go quiet, and the glow of the gemstone start to dull. You push your face up to the glass, before taking off your goggles and headphones to turn around.

Jayce is at your station, holding the lever down, and Viktor is standing beside you--When did he get here? --smiling.

"What--"

"The batteries are already full." Jayce says simply, taking off his headphones, and your jaw drops.

"Batteries that were built to power houses for at least a week. Full in no less than three minutes." Viktor puts a hand on your shoulder and gives you a little shake to get you out of your stupor. You, however, are still stunned.

Three minutes, the coil was already running for three minutes?

"It… It worked?" You say it so quietly that Viktor almost doesn’t hear it. He lets out a soft laugh and pats you on the back.

"Yes, yes I think it did. Looks like your simulation was correct." Jayce makes his way over to the both of you, a huge grin on his face.

"We did it, sprout."

You let out a huff, unable to reply with words. You look back at the gemstone; rods still spinning slowly around it.

"We did it." You finally manage.

"Jayce did just say that." The half condescending tone in Viktor's voice completely flies over your head, as you’re already turning around, putting your hands on the former's shoulders and shaking him--violently, he claims--and jumping up and down. You ignore his pleas for you to stop shaking him. You do, however, take it easy on the jumping on account of his leg.

Jayce joins in, and eventually Viktor relents and celebrates with the both of you; all of you exclaiming celebratory remarks. The occasional variations of, Wait till those snob-nosed councilors see this, and, Hey, easy, my wife's a councilor, being thrown around.

Eventually, you all calm down. You, out of choice, the other two, out of necessity. You make sure to point out that they're getting old, and their old bones can't handle jumping around anymore. Viktor comments that he has a valid reason to on account of his leg, then follows up with a comment about Jayce not doing any cardio at all. You take this as an opportunity walk back over to the observation window while the two bicker.

You don't know why you feel the need to check on the Hex Coil again. Given that it's not going to go anywhere since it's literally bolted to the floor. But you grew up in an environment where good events were immediately followed by catastrophic tragedies. So really, was it such a strange thing to have to check on your several-ton project, just in case it suddenly vanished into thin air?

"Two years." You say to yourself, tapping a finger on the glass. "Two years, and we finally did it." The Hex Coil, predictably, says nothing back to you. But that's okay, it's still there and that's what's important.

You don't notice your two mentors approach you, nor do you see the fond smile on Jayce and Viktor's faces. "No, not two. Eight."

You turn back to him, slightly confused. And Jayce's smile grows.

"Everything you've gone through, every obstacle you had to hurdle through." He nods over to the testing chamber. "Led to that. Look how far you've come."

"You did always say you wanted to change the world." Viktor chimes in. "We're incredibly proud of you."

Maybe it's because you had a really, really, really bad week--month, actually. Maybe it's because the other two are getting sentimental. Or maybe, just maybe, a small part of you didn't think that this was achievable; the washed-up troublemaker junkie, coming up with something like this. Someone you yourself didn’t see as worth any time or compassion. Hell, you barely had any reason to keep going back then, but for some reason, these two jerks standing with you saw potential, and decided to take a chance on you.

They let you crash at their place, made sure you kept clean, stayed out of trouble, gave you space to grow and provided guidance, grounded you. Even when you started a fight and made an entire scene, they still worried about you, first. So unflinching, accepting, supportive. You used to think that you were undeserving of that kind of love, but they even beat that--with kindness--out of you.

And now here you were.

Whatever the cause is, you feel the tears prickle, and your lips purse. You look down, and cover your face with your hand, not wanting them to see you cry. You try to take a steadying breath, but it comes out shaky.

"That's so fucking corny." You choke out.

You hear the both of them laugh, before they wrap their arms around you. Your hand is still covering your face, but you're so very obviously crying.

"We love you too, kid."

Thank you, you want to say, you very much try to say, but it comes out gurgled and incoherent because you're now full-on sobbing. They seem to understand this, however, as they respond with a pat on the back and ruffling of your hair.

When you were younger, you used to dream momentous moments like this as some sort of huge fanfare. There would be applause, a coincidentally gathered crowd around you bearing witness to the greatest achievement of your life so far. Your loved ones on the side, crying tears of joy. Congratulations thrown around by important people; bottles of champagne shaken and their contents sprayed at you.

But here, right now, with the two people who have been your family to close to a decade, it's enough, more than enough.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 14

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. This chapter is a little heavier (as is the story going forward, but I'll include potential triggers for each chapter as relevant), so please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of sex, masturbation and nudity, depression, suicidal thoughts

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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It’s well past midday by the time I open my eyes and my head is still throbbing. In hindsight, those extra few rounds with the groomsmen after the ball drop were probably a bad idea. At the same time though, that was the only thing that stopped me buckling and messaging Jensen and coming clean about everything and literally begging him to take me back. It’s been days since we last spoke, so I know he’s probably already halfway to moving onto the next project and likely hasn’t given me a second thought since, so I strive to do the same. It’s officially a new year, and I’m determined to stick to my resolutions.

Avoiding my phone, I decide to take along soak in the tub after washing off my smudged makeup from last night. I start running the water and add in an old rose-scented bathbomb Stella gave me for my birthday last year. As I start scrubbing off the makeup the silence gets to me and I give in, going back into my room to retrieve my phone. Any resolve I had managed to build up crumbles when I see the message waiting for me since last night.

Happy New Year, Y/N I hope the bachelorette party went well

Those few words are all it takes to break down the dam I had been building. I can’t believe that after everything I said he still cared enough to message. A little spark of hope burns in my heart at the thought that he was thinking of me when I was thinking of him. Yet he chose to message me, while I got drunk to push him from my mind. The guilt extinguishes the spark of hope. 

I take my phone with me as I shut off the water, strip and slide into the pink bubbles. I let out a contented groan as the hot water instantly relaxes me. But just as I relax, a voice startles me.

“Y/N? Are you ok? Y/N?”

I stare at my phone in disbelief as I see the name on the screen. I brace myself before answering. “Jensen? Hi…”

“Oh thank God. You’re ok. I just hope my second instinct isn’t right then…Not that it’s any of my business…”

“What are you talking about?”

“The sound you made when I answered…you’re either in trouble or having sex…So, which is it?”

“You think I’m having sex and haven’t hung up yet? What do you take me for?”

“You’d be surprised how many people talk through sex, I think it’s some sort of kink. But I really hope you’re not.”

“I’m not having sex…but I am naked…” I say before I can stop myself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that…”

“So, you were masturbating then…”

“It’s none of your business! Why are you so interested? We broke up remember?”

“I didn’t know we dated?”

“You know what I mean…”

“Then why’d you call me?”

“It was an accident…But I’m glad I did. We really do need to talk.”

“Maybe I should let you get dressed first…or finish what you were doing…”

“I wasn’t-Forget it. Why’s it matter anyway? You can’t see me.”

“I guess…I’d love to talk, I just need to get past that last comment…” He goes silent for a moment and then continues. “I also need you to be honest with me. I really like you Y/N. So, I guess I just need to know where you stand.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jens…I’m in a messy place at the moment. I want to let you in, but I’m scared of bringing you down, letting you down and just not being enough…”

“I can take care of myself. I’m more worried about what it would do to you…the photos and shit online is bad enough. If we date we’ll eventually get found out and all that will just get worse for you. The fans are protective of Dean Winchester and by default me…But, those boys that made you feel like you’re not enough, they didn’t deserve you. But I promise if you let me, I’ll treat you like you deserve.” 

I splash my free-hand through the water while I consider his words. “How about for now we just keep talking? We’re in different states anyway, and soon it’ll be different countries…”

“Just friends? Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know, Jens. I’m a mess…And I don’t want to force you into exclusivity when I don’t know…”

“You’re not forcing me, I want this. Honestly, I want more. But most relationships start as friendships, so we can take it slow if that’s better for you. But I need to know if you’re friend-zoning me, cause I…”

“I’m not friend-zoning you indefinitely…Maybe…I don’t know…I just need to get my own life under control first. Stop dreaming and actually…” in an attempt to distract myself from the depressing thoughts, I change the subject. “You know…I do still need a date for my best friend’s wedding…”

“Great! Send me the invite.”

“Jensen…I know you can’t…It’s okay. Plus, that negates our deal of staying out of public and taking things slow. Forget I said anything. It was stupid. That’s the stupid dreaming I’m talking about. I need to start being more realistic…But I struggle when it comes to you…”

“Hey, hey…It’s not stupid to not want to go to an event like that alone. Let me worry about what’s realistic and possible. Just send me the invitation. I may not be able to come, but just trust me. Give me a chance. Please. Also, there’s nothing wrong with dreaming…we’re performers, we play make believe for a living.”

“Okay…I’ll send it to you once I get out of the bath.”

“Bath! Right, that’s why you’re naked…actually that doesn’t help at all. Y/N, Darlin’, I really want to be a gentleman here, but you gotta stop reminding me that you’re naked right now. I'm still just a man.” The lonely, sex-deprived part of me wants nothing more than to hit the video call button and have what I hope would be amazing phone sex with him, but the rational part of my brain stops me. He sighs and then cuts back in, “I’d love to hear more about your dreams and how you’re gonna make them come true.”

“It doesn’t matter…They’re just pipe dreams. It’s time to grow up. Get a responsible nine to five and actually get ahead of bills and become someone reliable. Someone that’s worth…”

“Worth what, darlin’? Worth not cheating on? Worth being around? You don’t need a boring nine to five that you hate to be worth anything. I promise you real passion is way more sexy.”

“If that were true…” I sigh, “I’m sorry. As I said, I’m just not in a good place right now. I’m sorry for bringing down the mood. Forget I said anything. I should go.”

“Y/N, darlin’. Just wait a second.”

“What Jens?”

“Talk to me. This is what I mean, I want to be someone you can talk to about this stuff. I want to listen and support you. I can do that as a friend or a potential partner…if you’ll let me.”

“Jensen…I don’t know…You don’t need to listen to my depressing thoughts. You have such a perfect life, I don’t wanna bring you down. I have heavy baggage, you don’t want it!”

“That’s for me to decide! I can help carry your baggage or help you unload it for good. Put it on me, I can take it! Let me be your packhorse.”

“No…You deserve better…”

“Tell me, Y/N, what exactly do I deserve? Tell me more about my perfect life! Since you seem to know so much about my life, tell me! What’s so good about it? What do I deserve that you’re not?”

I shake my head. Tears slip down my cheeks mixing with the luke-warm water as I shrink at the sound of him raising his voice at me. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I called you, I’m sorry I ruined your day. I’m…I’m just sorry…” I hang up and drop my phone on the mat beside the tub. I pull my head underwater, staying there until my lungs burn for air and then I stay there a little longer. I think about how no one would know or even care if I stayed under right now. Glimpses of my exes’ faces spring to mind and it seems plausible. I let out any remaining air in my lungs. Nick’s words echo back to me. I stay under. My chest burns. And then I see my parents' faces from the day I left home–the second time–and Stella in her wedding dress that she hasn’t had a chance to show off yet, and finally Jensen’s green eyes and bright smile. I break the surface, gasping desperately to fill my lungs with air. I sob uncontrollably at how guilty and pathetic I feel.

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Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573

[atonalginger]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @fangbangerghoul, who shared a cool art wip today. thanks for the tag! I'm going to generally tag folks today because that way I don't worry I'm forgetting anyone lol. You got something you think you want to share, I've tagged you. I was thinking of you there. Yup, you.

Last week was a rough one for me creating wise. Heavy 'why bother' thoughts stopped me from even opening my laptop. I've been able to finally shake it and have another chapter down and hopefully will get more on track in the coming days but it's a process or whatever and there's going to be ups and downs.

I've also started to struggle at deciding what to share and what not to because...well I don't want to spoil my own story? I worry that sounds conceited but I want people to want to read the story and if they know everything that happens then...what would be the point? But also I'm only working on the one story atm so that's what I have to share...so I'm threading a needle here I guess. Maybe I'm overthinking things...

ANYWAY

I have a snippet from a chapter with Manny...well two snips...and some art? Under the read more for space saving.

first snippet:

Sleep was weird for Manny. It started with a nightmare where Cora had been snatched by the Redeemed instead of them. The monster wound up to slam her faceplate first into the concrete floor when everything froze. Her helmet was mere millimeters from an impact that would have shattered the glass, her body twisted in a gnarly position in the hands of the Redeemed.

“Quite a terrible scenario you’ve conjured.” A strange voice said. It was a delicate male voice with a raspy edge and a slight lisp. Manny looked around the still dream but could not find whoever spoke, “she’s replayed your flights every time she sleeps. Quite interesting that you can’t let go even to sleep.”

Manny searched for the source more, trying to pinpoint the direction with each word but it seemed to move around the edge of the scene. Almost like it was gliding across the floor.

“How would you fix this mess?”

Who are you? Manny asked.

“Not relevant,” He answered, “you have very little time left to fix this dream. How would you? Or will you watch her die?”

The last question set them off. They rushed the Redeemed and shoulder checked it, somehow knocking it off balance. They wanted Cora free from its grasp but knew from experience that the hands were like vices that would only release if a line was cut. A knife formed in their fist, an all black combat blade Evgeny had gifted them when they got the Eager Fortune. Manny found the weak point at the monsters elbows and dragged the blade across. Droplets of blood formed but nothing sprayed with time frozen. The vice grip released and Manny pulled Cora away, laying her on the floor before they turned back to the Redeemed. The knife punched through the neck guard with ease and with both hands Manny twisted the knife to carve out the throat before pulling it free.

“Such a savage kill,” the voice sounded delighted, “even if a touch too quick for my taste.”

Who are you!?

“Still not relevant,” He answered, “You should relax though. I’ve learned recently that too much stress does terrible things to the human mind and what’s to come demands you be sharp.”

What’s to come? How am I supposed to relax when…Who. Are. You?

“See, this is why I like you,” the lisp intensified, like the voice was hissing. Which was ridiculous, “You’ve got this spark! The passion, the energy, the fight. You are your own man, no matter what others try to do. If only you would embrace that more. You know who you are, why do you deny yourself that truth?”

Stop toying with me! Manny shouted, Who are you? what are you?

The pale blue eyes that first met them in the maintenance shaft flickered before them, “Who indeed, that is the question. Feel special, Manuel, I don’t put this level of effort into just anyone.”

Cora’s touch pulled them out of the nightmare. She was propped up on her elbow looking down at them with worry as she brushed their hair from their face. Then reality hit: they were struggling to breathe and drenched in sweat. She urged them to breathe in slowly, to focus on her voice, while she brushed their cheek with the backs of her fingers. Manny reached for her arm as they tried to comply, their mind a mess from whatever had just happened.

Her attention drifted to the edge of the bed, her expression hardening for a moment as she exhaled hard. The anger melted away as quickly as had appeared and she returned her attention to them with a tender kiss to their forehead.

--

snippet 2

She curled up next to them and broke down once more, her sobs rattling her whole body as she unloaded two weeks worth of fears. Manny rubbed her back and rocked her side to side while thinking about what the snake had said to them. ‘You are your own man, no matter what others try to do. If only you would embrace that more. You know who you are, why do you deny yourself that truth?’

It was something weighing on them for some time that they’d pushed away once they landed on Va’ruun’kai. When did they have time to contemplate that while facing a crisis like the one in Dazra. Why would He bother to waste time on it either? Cora said he was invested in the crisis, not either of them. Yet He took precious time to bring it up. He called them Manuel, a desire they had not shared with anyone.

--

I also have some art that is all set after the events of the current story.

Cora and Manny, some weeks after the story is over and they are back in Akila City. Cora stole that shirt from Manny's closet.

Manny and Cora about a year later. Cora stole that sweatshirt too. Half her wardrobe at that point is just stolen clothes from her boyfriend's closet.

[theriu]

River Reads Midnight Sun

Well met, traveler! This is the starting post for my experiment, wherein I, who have never read the Twilight books or seen the movies, read Midnight Sun (basically Twilight from Edward's perspective) and commentate for (hopefully) your entertainment! I decided it would be easiest to do this a chapter at a time, and my commentary will essentially be a summary of each chapter so people equally unfamiliar with the story can follow along. You can follow or block this experiment with the tag #river reads midnight sun.

I think that should do it! Let's get started with:

Chapter 1: First Sight

In which Edward finds high schoolers very Boring and Inane, and also nearly goes bonkers over a potential snack.

First things first: Can we talk about how gross pomegranates look? Is the cover art SUPPOSED to resemble an optical illusion between a halved pomegranate and a bleeding heart? Either way, EW.

Right, on to business!

Edward is bored, you guys. He is SO BORED. High school is so boring. Purgatory is mentioned, as well as “tedium” and “monotonous.” He really wants us to know how bored he is, even though the word “boredom” is not used until the sixth paragraph. But trust me, he’s very bored. One begins to wonder why the immortal 100+-year-old vampire is choosing to hang out daily in such a boring place, but I’m sure it will be explained.

Now we learn about his mindreading powers! This is also very boring because most of the minds he has to read are petty high school minds. By the way, the inane sheeple chatter in the school mindscape today is all about the new girl! I wonder who she could be! Ed sure doesn’t care! He can see every angle of her face via peoples’ thoughts, and he is NOT impressed. Half the “sheep-like males” are crushing on her. Edward’s disdain for them is palpable, almost as if it's not totally normal and fine for human teenagers to find new things like a new student exciting. We may be witnessing a smidge of superiority complex, which is shocking, no doubt.

Mind-reading as a way to introduce other relevant characters is handy, I will grant the author that! Of course, Ed tries not to mindread his fellow vampires out of courtesy, but he KNOWS what they are probably thinking, and boy is he ready to tell us!

Rosalie: Is either actually super hot or super thinks she is, and apparently this debate encompasses her every waking moment. She only compares herself to VAMPIRES, of course, because humans could never be comparably hot. Related to a stagnant pool. Wow, Ed.

Emmett: Hyper competitive guy who has no new thoughts because he says EVERYTHING he thinks. Compared to a glass-clear lake. I suppose that means Ed maybe thinks he has depth? Maybe? We'll err on the side of optimism.

Jasper: Suffering. That’s literally the entire description.

Alice (who can see the future) introduces herself by beaming thoughts at Ed asking how Jasper is doing. Jasper is not doing well. Apparently he is so ready to eat people that he has forgotten how to Human and is sitting in a corpse-like rigor, because it seems when you become a vampire you lose quirks like restless leg syndrome and blinking? This feels full of potential hilarity to me, but I fear such hilarity will not be realized in this Very Serious Book.

Anyway, back to Jasper, who is SUFFERING. Alice asks if there is any danger. Edward signals no. Half a page later, his exposition about Jasper's problem adds, “Jasper was very dangerous right now." Okay, so which is it?! PICK A LANE, ED

(On a genuine note, I already like Alice; she counters Jasper’s fantasies about eating a girl by telling him her name and a few personal facts in a way that shows Alice makes an effort to know her classmates as more than just The Humans. Yay empathy!)

Btw, Ed’s internal monologue indicates they’re hanging out at this school to build their strength and endurance by being around humans and not eating them, and to that I say REALLY??? You chose high school for that?! The one where you’re SUPER BORED?? GO HANG OUT AT A COFFEE SHOP OR SOMETHING

Ope, plot progression! Bella has entered the chat lunchroom. Literally everyone is thinking about Bella, including Jessica, no doubt the requisite catty high school rival who crushed on Edward previously. She has many disgruntled thoughts about Bella, Bella noticing the Cullens, everyone noticing Bella, etc. Ed, who has been doing a great job keeping us up to date on the general thought processes of the student body, takes this moment to assure us once again how much he finds all of this chatter inane AND petty AND trivial, and he’s definitely going to try harder to block them out (again).

Wait, oh my word, was that a line of HUMOROUS BANTER between the Cullens just now?! I have renewed hope for this Very Serious Book!

So Edward is the vampires' mental scout who checks for people suspecting he and his family are inhumanly weird (as opposed to acceptably weird), and naturally he does a brain scan on Bella. Oooo but he’s not hearing anything! And now they have locked eyes! Her eyes are very odd, because of the DEPTH of them! Already, Bella is very Frail and immune to mindreading and somehow has “deeper” eyes than I guess any other human Edward has met in his 100+ years? Ed, I think you need to make eye contact more.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled torrent of inane high schooler thoughts! Amazingly, they are all still focused on Bella and being attracted to or jealous of her, because of course real high schoolers are all Inane and Tedious. (The one exception is Angela, who is busy thinking about homework. I like her, she seems normal.) Jessica is being catty again, and what’s this?! Ed suddenly has this STRANGE URGE to SHIELD Bella from this nasty girl! How very odd and unusual! Especially from a guy who very clearly finds all human teenagers Inane/Petty/Trivial! Bella must be special, except she is also “very unexceptional." Also, Ed is highly frustrated that he can’t read this girl’s mind, despite him constantly reading her like a book and her having “deceptively communicative” eyes.

Rosalie breaks Ed out of his frustration-driven contradictory spiral, and they all go to class, Ed casually mentioning his two medical degrees in an internal dig at his biology teacher (again, why are you hanging out at high school???) Naturally, Bella shows up and the only seat available is the one next to Edward, because Plot everyone is subliminally terrified of him. Ed has a moment of panic wondering if not hearing one girl’s thoughts means he has a vampire disease and is gonna lose all his mindreading, and then he has another moment of empathy for Bella having to sit next to the Scary Vampire.

Then she walks in front of an air duct, and Edward is suddenly overcome with INTENSE BLOODLUST THE LIKES OF WHICH HE HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE!!! He wants to eat her SO BAD, you guys! He spends roughly EIGHT PAGES brooding on how badly he wants to eat her, noticing how delicious she smells, crushing the underside of a desk with his intense self-control grip (but having the presence of mind to “destroy the evidence” by rounding out the finger-shaped hole he just made), analyzing the logistics of eliminating a roomful of witnesses and whether to do so before or after eating her, seeing his monstrous reflection in her eyeballs, angsting over how bad he will feel when he murders a bunch of people, plotting ways of murdering her that WON’T result in collateral damage, questioning Bella’s sanity for daring to SHAKE HER HAIR IN HIS VICINITY, angsting about how disappointed his wonderful adoptive dad Carlisle will be (aww, that’s actually sweet), stubbornly deciding “she can’t make me,” hating Bella with the fury of a thousand suns for daring to smell so delicious, and shutting off his breathing so he has at least some self-control, which does sound uncomfortable but I applaud the effort.

Then class finally ends (for him and for us), and he goes and hides in his car. Which, honestly, relatable.

The car timeout helps restore his sanity, and he determines he does in fact not need to kill her and that hating her guts for smelling like an eight-course dinner probably isn’t fair! He just needs to avoid her as much as possible. Bless your heart for your optimism, Male Lead of a Paranormal Romance Novel.

The solution he comes up with is to charm the poor secretary (who keeps having to remind herself mentally that he’s too young for her, which, augh) into switching him to a different sixth-period course. Bella chooses this opportune moment to walk in, which he doesn’t notice until her DELICIOUS SMELL is blown over him (I question why someone with such advanced senses can only notice powerful smells when he is downwind of them). Edward’s Amazing Vampire Vision kicks in, allowing him to once again see his Monstrous Face in the reflection of her eyes, despite her being over against the wall. He briefly contemplates double homicide, then . . . uh . . . gives up on changing classes so he can walk away. This doesn’t feel like a long-term solution, Ed, but Kudos for the self-control.

The chapter wraps up with him jumping into his car (it’s the end of the day, so the others are waiting for him) and breaking the speed limit out of the parking lot. Alice uses Future Sight (it’s super effective!) to see that Ed is either going to book it out of Forks (the town) or go and murder Bella in her house. I once again have reason to like Alice, who orders him not to do it, adding that it would metaphorically kill Bella’s dad. He drops them off and races away again, not yet sure if he’s going to tell Dad Carlisle that he’s leaving or going to go eat the delicious new girl. And Scene!

Well, that wasn’t as painful as I feared, so huzzah! I kind of appreciate the internal look at his thoughts and how his mindreading lets us see other characters even when they can’t talk. Got a bit long at times, especially with how Inane and Petty and Trivial high schoolers are to Edward! LOTS OF DETAIL about how badly he wanted to eat Bella and possibly murder all bystanders, which I guess does go to show how bad the bloodlust is, because dang! (But why do none of the others have this reaction to her yet? Maybe they just don’t have classes with her. You must be this close to the Bella to ride the maniac vampire train!)

And with that, I have earned a much-deserved break before delving into CHAPTER TWO: OPEN BOOK! I’m sure Edward will totally succeed in his plan to skedaddle out of Forks and never see Bella again! Stay positive, Ed! =Dd

Chapter 2->

[thebookofeibon]

a sweeter alternative

Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”

i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there

for now u can read under the cut!

i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.

his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real

this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.

i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rei-kun.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”

Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”

Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.

“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.

Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?

He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.

He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.

This vampire does need blood to survive.

He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.

“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”

“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”

“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”

Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.

“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.

“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.

“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.

Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”

Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.

“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”

“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”

Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.

“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”

“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.

“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.

“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”

Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”

Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”

“No!”

“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”

“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.

-----------------------------

It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.

Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.

“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.

“What time is it?”

“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”

“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.

Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”

They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.

“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”

He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.

“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.

“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.

“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.

Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”

Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.

“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.

“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”

“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.

“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”

“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.

“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”

Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”

Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”

“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”

-----------------------------

Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.

He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.

It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.

It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!

And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-

“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.

Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-

“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.

“Mm, of course.”

The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-

A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.

The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.

“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.

Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.

“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.

“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?” 

Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?

-----------------------------

Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.

“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”

“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.

“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.

Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.

Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”

“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.

But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.

“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.

Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.

“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.

Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.

Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.

“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.

“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”

“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”

“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.

Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”

Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”

Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.

“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”

“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.

Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.

Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.

“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.

Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”

The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…

Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?

No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.

It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.

He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.

“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”

Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.

“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”

Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”

“Perhaps.”

“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”

Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”

Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”

Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.

Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.

-----------------------------

It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.

Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”

He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.

“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.

“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.

“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”

Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.

“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.

“He didn’t take a lot.”

“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”

“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.

Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”

Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”

“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.

Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”

“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”

-----------------------------

As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.

Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.

But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.

Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”

Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.

With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.

“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.

Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”

Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”

He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.

Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“

“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.

“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”

“Then take mine off.”

Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”

-----------------------------

As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.

It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.

“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.

Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.

“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.

Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.

“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.

Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.

“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.

“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.

“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.

“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”

Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”

Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”

“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.

“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”

Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.

“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.

“Both of you! Disgusting!”

Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”

Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”

-----------------------------

Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”

Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.

Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”

He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”

Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”

Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”

Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”

Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”

That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”

Koga hummed. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”

“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”

Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”

Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.

“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”

“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.

“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.

Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”

Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.

“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.

Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”

Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.

Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.

“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.

“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.

No other reality would be better than this one.

[strixcattus]

Happy Pristine Cut day!

I will be liveblogging my Pristine Cut playthrough. These posts will not be tagged with #slay the princess due to spoiler reasons, and I'll keep them long and relatively far between for spam-avoidance reasons. (I understand there's some sort of daily image limit in effect, so I'll try not to hit it, either... even though I'm not sure what it is.) They will be tagged with both #pristine cut spoilers and #scpstptpc (Strix Cattus Plays Slay The Princess The Pristine Cut, previously #spstppc which should then be self-explanatory), so those'll be the tags you want to block. I'll also be putting every one under a cut, so no one should be caught off-guard. For anyone who does want to see these posts, read on.

Again, the game plan:

My first run is going to be me, roleplaying as though it's December 25th of last year and I'm playing the game for the first time. Not exactly—I'll cut out the bit where I thought it'd keep overall run progress if I quit and lost a piece of my third route, and just pretend I wanted to do it the second way from the start (unless I see a better option?). The relevant routes here are Tower -> Fury and at least a hint at Sp3ctre.

The second run is where I hit on all the new and expanded chapters. Expanded ones first, ending on either Dams3l or Sp3ctre depending first on whether I've already gotten Sp3ctre and second on last-minute whim.

The third run is to fill in all the gaps. Adversary -> Fury, maybe. Stubborn!Den. (Or should I do Stubborn!Den first, and save Skeptic!Den for the end of this run, on the assumption that it will probably make a good final route? Or should I just do Skeptic!Den first like I'd planned, because it's more honest to what I did on my own the first time around?) Any other Voices to any new chapters, if I can figure them out. (If Prison3r is a guts trio chapter, that's one!)

If I need a fourth run to check out things like Skeptic!EotN, Moment of Clarity, and even more Voices in, say, Adversary -> Fury or the new chapters, I'll do one. I'll try to do as much of these runs in a day as I can, but I will admit this is a rather large amount. (Ha! The naïvété of youth. Is that too many diacritics?)

And, of course, I'll be keeping my bingo card updated:

(Link to my previous pinned post here so I can find it once I'm done with this)

[linipik]

FAR OUT AT SEA

"Shiro is determined to know if the new human research base is a risk for his fellow merfolk with the help of a marine biologist and research intern Adam."

rating: T

pairing: Adam/Shiro

tags: Adam (Voltron) Shiro (Voltron), Keith for half a line but he is there, Merman Shiro, Everyone lives, First Meetings, plot-driven action, Alternate Universe Merpeople, Canon-Typical Violence

This fic is part of the Once Upon the Seashore PDF (get it for free on my Ko-fi)

Chapter 2 of 4

Previous Chapter

Although Shiro was so sure he had not given anything away during their conversations, Adam was observant enough to notice Shiro asked too many questions about things he should already know, given the information shared in the application process. He was convinced Shiro was plotting something off protocol, maybe something against the superior officers, even, yet he just couldn't bring himself to openly confront him or become a snitch. He could not imagine “Takashi” would do anything harmful, after all; he was a bit impulsive maybe one of those diehard conservationists with their head way out of the bureaucracy of laboratories and Adam couldn’t blame that passion, but the Shiro he met wouldn't purposefully hinder the ongoing research or hurt anybody. After some thought, Adam decided to keep quiet and figure out Shiro’s intentions bit by bit.

He didn’t have to wait much. Shiro confessed that he suspected there were undercover operations going on at the deepest levels of the base, which used the excuse of oceanographic research to do something else, maybe weapon development or oil exploration. Adam wouldn’t say Shiro’s suspicions were too unfounded and he never signed up for something like that, And when Shiro asked Adam's help to infiltrate that area in order to confirm such suspicions, to which Adam, agreed with no hesitation.

That was how it started or ended. The challenge was demanding and exciting at first, but once they went over all the unsupervised laptops and offices left without keys, they realized there was a wall.

The juiciest stuff was locked under top-quality security systems and the best equipment, as two mere interns, there was nothing they could do.

Despite the overwhelming evidence of their defeat, Shiro was adamant about finding a way to bypass the security measures as soon as possible. Choosing his words carefully, Adam tried to talk him out of it. He told Shiro that, although he was completely right in that breaking into grade A military secret files was the responsible thing to do, right at the moment they were at a disadvantage. They would fare better by ascending first, they needed more time and a real plan to uncover in any meaningful way what was going on, they were also in a position of power that allowed them to make sure this clarence problems on the research they were supposed to work didn’t happen. He asked Shiro for patience.

– o –

It was another afternoon in the cafeteria after another dead end looking for the relevant classified data.

 “Whatever they are doing, it has not caused noticeable damage so far, so they must be calculating it carefully,” Adam insisted, “it would not be convenient for them to just destroy a whole ecosystem in a day or something.”

“Yeah, I guess” Shiro replied, unable to hide his scowl, The same exploitative human practices that have always worried him, that keep merfolk hidden, “They think they have the right to do anything they want with what they find just because it’s unexplored for them, it’s not fair” 

There they were again, the same stubborn passion, the same edge in his words that set Shiro way apart from others to Adam, like there was something bigger out there.

“I totally get you, but we gotta play our cards right. What if they get us trying to hack the security system and they kick us off or send us to jail? In that case, we are not ever going to figure out anything.” Adam’s tone was calculated and yes, he was reasonable.

Shiro took a moment to think, averting his gaze toward the window. The skies outside looked gloomy. There was no storm alert, but they would probably have rain later.

“I guess you are right.” 

Adam wanted to say something more, maybe suggest they do something different for a change, let go of the stress of the last few days with like… a date? But before he could gather the courage to ask, Shiro nodded with a tired smile and disappeared down the corridor toward his room.

Righ. He most likely wanted to recover some sleep. The date idea would have to wait.

– o –

Shiro, however, didn't have “rest” or “sleep” anywhere in his mind. His duty was first to discover if merfolk were in any danger and he couldn’t clear his suspicions in a human way, not with Adam by his side.  After gathering some tools, he sneaked out of his room and left the residential area, careful to no bring attention to himself on his way to the deck. He knew Adam would disapprove… or worry if he went looking for Shiro and didn't find him in his room. He felt as if he was betraying the unspoken thing they had going on. That thought almost made him turn back. Almost.

Once he considered he was far enough in the loading docks and thus safe from onlookers and obscured away from the security cameras, Shiro silently jump in the water and was again a merman, now underwater he felt more clarity than the days before. He had postponed his mission enough. No matter what kind of mission the military was running undercover, they could not be anything good and it was Shiro's duty to stop them for his people. After all, he was one of the few who ventured far into human territory and he knew how terrifying they could be. 

Stealthily swimming back to the base, Shiro snuck through one of the underwater gates and began destroying all the underwater equipment and submarines he could find. That should get the officers distracted so he could have the time to finally get to the deeper levels and deal with whatever they are really doing there.

----

Far Out at Sea is complete on PDF >> GET IT HERE <<

[lesson-in-ruthlessness]

BOOK 10: ELYSIAN SIGN UPS

ALRIGHT! I HAVE ENOUGH INTEREST, IT IS TIME!

First off, the outline of everything we will be using in our creation of book 10, or Elysian (Endgame is a great name, but Marvel), as I call it.

Next, everything I'm using in Elysian.

I am also tagging everyone who has helped me come up with ideas, as well as edited, since we share one braincell, and have a lot of similar things.

Sorry for cut it's LONG

@moonlarked

Marellinh

Council gets overthrown

Sophie gets to kill Mr Forkle

Alvar dies in Fitz’s arms

Sophie starts an human outreach program

Jensi remains Talentless and helps other Talentless

Exillium gets to be relevant

Tiertice adopt Tam and Linh and Rayni

Fedex

Ruy appears and does something idk

Trix joins up with the gang

@the-great-gullon-incident

Biana, Stina, and Dex team up

Biana has a sword

Sophie teaches the rest of the keeper gang about lgbtq+ people

Crazy fights

Gethen and Ruy show up to do stuff

They/them Elysian

All the mysteries are finally revealed

@stopstealingtomatoes

Lady Gisela to die

Amy to have a bigger role

Lord Cassius to either formally apologize to Keefe or else shove a stick in it

T h e r a p y

Ships to finally sail

@amandayetagain

Elysian’s big naturals

frognate rings

explicit language

vertina pagetime

more void lore

Sophie strikes out on her own and forms her own group

we learn about Keefe’s human friends

Details on some of the parents top secret missions (mentioned in their unlocked files)

Embarrassing middle name for keefe

foot power

Sophie channels someone’s heart/skull, or uses telekinesis on someone’s neck (it’s them or her friends. And she’s already lost enough.)

Biana and Sophie commit arson again (Neverseen)

@you-have-been-frizzled

JENSI PAGE TIME

the triplets

Kesline

Elwin officially adopting Keefe

Biana kills somebody (can we just bring Vespra back so she can kill her)

Tam gets hurt and Linh goes batshit

Bronte with curly hair

Sophie eats sweet and sour chicken to everyone’s horror

MORE ARSON

Alina redemption arc (literally wouldn’t suggest this but Ciara is the one running it and they’re part of the Alina deserves redemption club)

Dex losing an arm (his name means right handed it’s ironic oaky!)

Tiergan punches Quan song when he tries to say something to the twins

Sandor and Giselle scenes

KESLER AND GRADY BROMANCE I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THEM

Juline and Edaline being sisters

Keefe and Grady bonding

Alvar isn’t dead and gets redemption

Caprice is relevant other than just being the crazy lady

@official-kenralie-fanbase

Sophie loses it during a battle to fulfill the whole "the moonlark could tear this whole place down" thing

Sandor finally has to dance in sparkly pants

Someone punches Alden

Or Cassius

Or both. At the same time.

More of Grady's mesmerizing please and thank you

Gradaline moments

Sophie's dad reveal (maybe do a poll on who people think that should be? I'm hoping for Fintan)

Oralie actually fights in a battle

Someone finds out about Oralie and there's a bunch of drama with all the people

@ever-blaze

more jensi, dex and rayni

jensi not manifesting an ability yet playing more roles in the story (eg. fighting the neverseen with a weapon or something)

keefe and fitz friendship moments/actually being best friends again

MORE OF THE TRIPLETS !!!

more backstories? tinkers maybe?

blur or wraith or tinkers identities

the return of the amazing amy foster

keefe’s human friends (hoping at least one is a celebrity) and human world adventures

------

Next, breaking this up. Anyone can join, I just need people to help organize this, and the plan is we sort it up by character/group, and eventually break it down into chapters, ordered by what would make sense in a basic plot structure. Then we will start figuring out technical things such as who is writing what.

Simply send me an ask or message if you're interested in helping me organize this!

And, if you have any and all suggestions, feel free to tell me!

REBLOGS >>>>>> LIKES

[bleachbleachbleach]

12/18 - 12/31/2023

The chapter I’m working on right now begins Part 2, and is Kira's. I’m trying to figure out how much of this act is meant to be told from Kira’s POV and how much belongs in Rose’s chapter, instead. Which is challenging because 1) Rose’s chapter is seven chapters from now, and phew, that’s asking a lot of me to know what info would be thematically relevant here vs. much later! And because 2) Kira is entirely tertiary to the situation, and there may be little of it that DOES make sense for him to narrate.

Which would suggest, well, there’s your answer, B3! But then I’m like, isn’t that Kira’s whole post-TYBW situation? What with the being stitched together with Dead Guy souls and being kinda sorta a dead guy himself. Maybe should be narrating everything because he’s tertiary to everything, perhaps including his own mind/body, and because none of it makes sense for him to narrate. Which I’m into conceptually; mechanically, I’m like, uh, okay, how do I… how would you like me to make that work.

Rather than see that puzzle to its end, I ended up writing my HitsuHina Gift Exchange fic + a string of scenes from Hisagi’s chapter, the latter of which are really embarrassing but make me happy.

The planner I bought last year had little boxes each week where you were supposed to write your highlights for the week. I dutifully filled these out, except when I was out of the country and points in June, because it was a very ??? month. These were often very pathetic, because this was a stressful, exhausting, sometimes depressing year and I am a burnt husk of a human being, but writing fanfic featured in these highlights 11 separate times! <3 (To add to that count, talking to people on Tumblr about writing/Bleach featured twice, and Hitsugaya and Hinamori also both featured (specifically, going back through our Hitsugaya tag and spending a full hour scheduling birthday reblogs; and my condor!Tobiume commission ToT <3333).

Next year I anticipate will be even more stressful, because I have a lot of deadlines I need to meet and they are not things that spark joy; but my time will be a bit more in my own hands, so I’m hoping to balance that out by asserting more regular time to do things that DO spark joy, and to, uh, heal a bit.

I wrote in the tags of a reblog post that my writerly hopes and dreams for 2024 were to finally write my Dieselsexual Akon/Hisagi and, ambitiously, to finish both Parts 2 and 3 of this WIP. I don’t know if I’ll finish Part 3, but Part 2, for sure! My other goal for 2024 is to find ways to make posting fanfic more fun for me, because that part feels very not fun. I’ve done some brainstorming about it, to start that off.

[flayedprideparade]

Part 1 Hi! I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I’ve been enjoying your fic! The story is wonderfully written, and your characterization is spot-on. I really appreciate the effort you put into tagging it—especially the bottom Steve. That tag was one of the reasons I started reading, as it aligns perfectly with my preferences. I noticed a comment suggesting a different dynamic, and I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but I wanted to share that I’d be a bit disappointed

"-- if the story went in that direction. That said, I completely understand and respect that this is your fic, and you should feel free to write what you want without feeling pressured to please every reader—including me! I think it’s amazing that you’ve been clear and consistent about your intentions for the fic, and I really appreciate the way you’ve stuck to them. Everyone has different preferences and there’s so much space in fandom for diverse content. Your story has been a joy to read. Thank you for sharing your work with us. I look forward to seeing where the story goes (no pressure, of course—write at your own pace and in your own way). Your fic has made my day, and I just wanted to share my appreciation! Feel free to ignore. All the best”

Hi, there! Thanks for taking the time to message me, and for your kind words. I compiled the other asks/parts of your question into one, hope you don't mind!

I know some people feel there are negative implications when, in a m/m ship, one guy always tops and the other always bottoms. I absolutely understand where they're coming from, but at the same time, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a strong preference or exclusively enjoying when a specific character either tops or bottoms. For a really long time, I shipped everything that way, where I ONLY wanted one character to bottom or top. I know there was a fair amount of discourse in the Harringrove fandom back in the day lol. People got REALLY attached to the idea of Steve or Billy in whichever position they preferred.

But I'll cut to the chase: for the entirety of "You're Gonna Carry That Weight", I HIGHLY doubt I'll have Steve topping. That being said, slight spoilers to come, but I'll probably have some other NSFW scenes that aren't just traditional banging, either-- handjobs, maybe blowjobs? Etc. So it won't be JUST Steve 'receiving' as it were, so if those aren't in line with you preferences, a small heads up there. I'll be updating the tags as those scenes come into play, too. Again, I very highly doubt that I'll write any bottom Billy in the span of this fic, but on the very unlikely chance that I do, tags will be added and I'll be sure to make note of it in an author's note preceeding the actual chapter.

Now, I have been vaguely considering a sort of sequel series, or at least a bunch of one-shots or snippets that would take place after YGCTW, in the same universe. If I get around to doing that, and if you think you might be interested in it, then you might have to watch out for (a very rare, very occasional) bottom Billy. But again, that would be a loooong way off, and I'd tag it appropriately, so you'd easily be able to skip any such chapters if you were so inclined.

I honestly thought about going into PAINSTAKING DETAIL discussing the intricacies of how I see Billy and Steve's sex life evolving in this au, but I realized it wasn't relevant and probably not what you're here for 😅

So, TL;DR, for the early part of their relationship, ie what YGCTW is going to predominately cover, Billy subscribes firmly to the "It's not gay if I'm on top" mentality, and therefore proooooobably will never be bottoming.

[love-is-a-pearl]

That's a lot of work, re: making a whole summary of relevant things, but I 100% get the insanity and overanalyzing, that's my jam. Lucky for you, I'm not totally clueless as the small percentage of people who have deep dived into Pokemon lore. I'm taking about memorized NPC dialogue, flavor text for items, creator interviews, design inspiration and mythology, every bit of side/beta/unreleased/scrapped content, theories and inter-game connections. Yes, I know Amber2 and the Champion's League with their Elite 4 Cup mentioned in the DP anime. I'm just sad about it because what do you MEAN after my old draft outlined the chapters I have to DELAY the Elite 4 challenge until ANOTHER LEAGUE? I named those chapters so specifically as a nice, smooth transition and callback 😭 Granted I guess...it also kind of works. If you have ideas on what it is, how it works, or when it takes place? I might be able to implement it. I don't know if its another League with strong trainers or specifically battling the E4. 1) Ash-Guzma talk, gotcha! I think there's something to be said about how Guzma isn't another meglomaniac Ash had to face, and how the feelings of loss can be understood by Ash...I was just reading your write up on the parallels with Alain and how Ash's Unova self was a set up for his Kalos self. In my rewrite, although the story isn't focused on Ash and friends, I figured I try to give everyone their due anyways, and my biggest grip so far is keeping the anime for what it is and treating it's choices seriously VS altering them. Sure, I COULD disqualify Tobias for using legendaries, I COULD have Ash beat Alain, but...same reason why I can't undo Ash's pity badges. It's a part of his journey. 2) Iris MC arc, good point. There's no reason to off-screen her becoming a Champion. Not sure how I'll do it tbh, and it'll probably extend the time we spend in Unova (I really want to get to Kalos haha) but it could be nice. Mm, maybe I can have Iris meet other dragon masters from the regions...maybe I should rewrite the Plasma arc tbh, I think they changed N's character entirely in the anime? And make up an original episode for when Team Rocket was in Unova (the one that didn't air) and use that to lead to a near permanent shut down? Give Iris key moments there? 3) Real. Anime is kinda misogynistic about the girls. trainer!Lillie, with S/M style Lusamine, yay or nay? I often wonder about which aspects of the game characters to transfer over. Like, I want to bring in Will and Karen too although they don't exist in ani...I was thinking Ash and friends would have a plot similar to Substance R from the Detective Pikachu movie. Pokerus/Mewtwo's Beserk Gene/the forced evolution experiments/mega evolution? trying to get it all reconciled. They'll meet Karen in a similar underground tournament as in the movie I think... 4) Gary-Ash rivalry...they're no Reguri, but might as well give em something. Silph Co takeover, during Mt. Moon some Rocket defects with the fossil Pokemon (after they're revived at the Cinnabar's lab, which like in the game, the technology suspiciously works.) That's how Devon gets their own fossil revival tech we see. Stolen research. Aerodactyl was too wild, so uh, while attempting to use it at Silph (which went so bad the grunt was like "aight imma quit in the chaos.") Gary ends up catching it, and this starts his interest in fossil Pokemon research we see in the anime. 5) I have a gameverse AU too, so trying to find a 2nd origin story for the executives and Team Rocket is the dreaded </3 ignoring the chronicles japanese opening cameo, Silver does not exist. tragic, I love him, but what on earth am I gonna do, I can't repeat the AU storybeats. As funny as the TRio and Silver interactions might be. I guess this is always subject to change, but soooo much emotional investment in characters already exists that I had to keep anime!Bill instead of the other...very sad.

Yeh yeah, the tags weren't targeted at you specifically. it just gets me the amount of people who watched the OG anime as kids and think they know all that there is to know about it. Pokemon youtubers who played the games and start to target anime viewere when very obviously not caring for it get on my neves sometimes orz

And no, no! It's not another league! I'm pretty sure that what the anime calls champions league is actually just the elite four (or rather a name for challenges between trainers on elite four level, like we saw with Flint vs Cynthia sometimes). You don't need to worry about changing your fanfic SORRY!!! I just tend to ramble a lot in tags, don't worry about it 🙏

Oof, I get you. While Pokemon in general is my special interest and I love knowing anything about it, the competitive side of it (the whole IV-EV thing, smogon and showdown) are things I just can't bring myself to care about :V

Ohh, I understand the struggle. While the anime has some fun ideas and themes at times, there's some stuff that just begs to be changed.. I think it would depend on what kind of story you want to tell.

For my AU personally I'm taking what the anime did and kinda fixing the things I disliked while taking advantage of an older Ash and certain themes I want to explore. For instance, I'm having Ash use Primeape while he is traveling alone and focusing more on his pokemon, and that gets him to realize he never tried knowing that monkey at all. Ash traveling alone is something I always wanted but is not something that works in-anime and in a fanfic like that I can explore underated pokemon much easier than just idk, shoving Primeape into the JNs team.

But if you plan on rewriting everything post DP league (if I'm assuming correctly) and perhaps get Ash to age as the story goes, it does makes sense to change some big things as league resuts. Like, there's the joke "he would not say that" when people make characters OOC but is always good to remember "what would cause him to say that?". As in: if things change enough, if you write a story that deviates a lot from canon, then even certain outcomes and character reactions can change.

Like, an Ash that wins in Sinnoh probably won't be as affected by the Unova loss as canon Ash. And that Ash would be much more relaxed at Kalos, etc, etc. I guess it all depends on how you write (and what you want to write more than anything. I can't reiterate this enough, but have fun with those stuff!!)

Ohh, I have been talking to a friend about Unova and Kalos a lot, and one of the recent things was this idea of taking advantage of the fact Unova has more than 8 gyms in-game. Like, if you do want Ash doing gyms there still, I think having Iris do the other gyms that are introduced in BW2 would be an awesome way to start her gym challenges on-screen. We even talked about the concept of Iris and Ash and Cilan all meeting in Striaton gym! With both Iris and Ash going there to challenge him and since that gym has 3 leaders, Iris could get to battle one of the brothers while Ash battled Cilan.

Yes, the Plasma team and N and their connections are very different in the anime. Honestly if I could recomend you to research about anything out of the anime for reference, it would be Plasma Team. The way they're portrayed in the games is very interesting in how they pretend to care for pokemon, telling people that pokemon are better off alone and that holding them in balls/battling with them is abuse! And that's one thing I get very very sad the anime didnt take advantage of.

Ash is a character that would be so easily dissuaded by that kind of talk if done right and would be interesting seeing him questioning himself about that sort of thing SPECIALLY AFTER PAUL!!

And going back to Iris. Have her be more confident in her relation to pokemon because she was raised in a village of dragons, where human and pokemon live as one and let her take the role of main character and prove that Team Plasma are not as good as they pretend to be. Show how her connection with pokemon is that of a champion or something yknow?

SM Lusamine is always a Yay for me ;w; I love love love how she is portrayed in that game ♥ evil bitch of a mother, but so so good story-wise. And makes Lillie becoming a trainer even more meaningful too.

Yeah, I get it. Specially for timeskip stories, is hard to know how to balance Anime and Game characters. I.. don't have a tip for that tbh. If there's no anime equivalent, I tend to go with characters I got attached in-game or that are generally popular in fandom. I mean, if I can get attached to a random NPC from 2 dialogues in the game, then it means they're special right? But usually elite fours that haven't appeared on the anime (nor the manga) are not that memorable at all so Idk what to say about Karen and Will.. But I guess introducing them like that could be interesting. Karen has that kinda "strong pokemon, weak pokemon. it doesnt matter which you choose as long you trust them" quote that would make her interesting if portrayed as someone that is very against pokemon abuse. And if you make Will into a spy (since he has that magician vibe and i guess could be used as an excuse for him to work in TR's game corner undercover or something), it could be fun for them to team up to stop evil orgs like that on their own :V

BRING BACK THAT POKEBALL FROM JOHTO LEAGUE FOR ASH-GARY! I dont know what to do with it, maybe they could take it to someone to fix it and discover it belonged to someone and they both go search for it or whatever. But it was an interesting thing to AshGary that the anime just pulled out of nothing to explain their rivalry and never did anything else with.

Adding to what you already have, I could see Gary maybe taking a "Red role" and going after Team Rocket after getting his ass handed by Giovanni's Mewtwo. Like, I don't think he knew that was "Team Rocket's Giovanni", but adding to your idea and him discovering from one of the grunts that that gym leader was the boss of this evil organization could make him interested in knowing and stopping that guy since he saw how powerful the pokemon he used could be. And then if you plan to have Ash there for the TR endgame, they could meet and team up against Team Rocket and from that learn to respect eachother as equals more!

Oh, that's a whole nother beast I never dared to deal with. I have a special love for pokeani so I'm only focusing on that, so I can't begin to imagine how complicated it must be to balance two universes based off the same thing.. I have no tips on that lol sorry but maybe… seeing how things are handled in different games? I mean red/green, firered/leafgreen and letsgo are all from different universes, so maybe seeing how gamefreak themselves twist things may help with inspiration?

[kaleido-write]

Chapter 1 part 1

Here comes the expected odd witch comic critique !! Since we have more content I can properly begin to critique it

@oddwitchcomic

Tho before I start critiquing the comic , mare there's a huge issue for your fan base, the comic doesn't have a unique tag to find it wich will make fanart , fanfiction critiques ect very hard and your audience won't be able to make content about your comic easily , you should really establish a unique tag so your comic doesn't get lost and your audience can actually interact with you and your content .

I really like it !! It's a great cover that teaches us many things

Background wise we learn that it's a world that mix technology (probably some kind of magical/fantasy technology) and a very old time fantasy and we see that trough the towers on the left and the more rustic houses on the right

I like how Winnie is crunched down and is picking up mushrooms, we learn that she's a very down to earth person in connection with nature and her outfit is indicating she's probably from the more rustic side of this world she has gloves wich could indicate that she fights with her hands rather than magic hence why she would be a "odd" witch

The second character is turning their back to Winnie, wich shows us we don't know them yet and so does Winnie, they have a very clean uniform and a gun showing us they're most likely from the technology side of that world . The long hair could be purely a design Choice or in that world hair could be an indicator of someone status in society.

I also like how they're the one facing the world while Winnie is hidden could be significant and show us that they're known while Winnie isn't and is maybe even a pariah to society

I really like the backgrounds !! As it seems mare worked really hard on this aspect of the comic , she also visibly worked on the goo on the ground and did a great work for the lighting and shadows wich can be a real pain in the ass hahaha tho I do admire how she want a very highly professional looking comic (marvel/DC style) so I really hope this won't lead her to burn out

I like how we visibly see her hair under the effect of gravity , idk if it's intentional so I find interesting how easily the goo falls off her , maybe will become relevant later in there comic

I really like how she takes the time to put sounds effect and show us it's a very multidimensional work , she obviously put a lot of work in it and it's admirable , I really like the consistency of the backgrounds we see she took her time to define the environment and choose how she wanted Winnie to wake up

As she does she has a quite blank expression signifying she might not be used to be awake (perhaps not used to be alive as well ?)

In the fifth case I'd like to see Winnie more impacted by the intense beam of light that's right next to her lol but it's a pretty small detail that can be worked on , I feel like mare is still a bit unsure of how she want to shade/light her comic but with her level of skills I'm not worried and I have hopes she will find her style and do better lighting in the future

I like how Winnie features stay consistent trough the angles mare show us , she's telling us here "look that's Winnie that's her expressions" and I like that , it's important to be able to show off your characters in simple actions/expressions and work on how colors affect them

Also see how mare doesn't whitewash Winnie? Very demure (it's a joke lol)

I also like how we get to see the environment trough Winnie, it's not forced we are simply spectators of her journey

Wow strong speech , I like how the characters is a catalyst of some sort clearly telling her she HAS to go forward I also really like the colorful design !! I'm hoping to see more of them cuz it would be a design gone to waste otherwise.

In case 2 tho I have a small critique about the fingers , they're slightly too long compared to the hand , and since they're on a similar plane of perception (ik it's not the right word I just can't remember the English one) it look a bit odd but it's not too bad

I like how trough the panel Winnie looks confident but then step back and try to go back from where she came it's interesting to see she's fierce but knows when to back up . And all the poses are far from stiff or boring everything is very lively and interesting

Unfortunately the lighting is very lacking here , Winnie is directly facing the light as shown on her nose and lips so she should have light hitting her cheeks as well , a simple detail to be careful of !!

Over all I think that the odd witch comic is on a strong beginning and if mare is ready to push trough it and work hard on the style lighting ect then go for it !! Maybe I would've told her to start smaller so she can see her limits and what she's ready to do but I wish her luck especially I wish her to not get burned out hahahahah

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 21

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. This chapter is a little heavier (as is the story going forward, but I'll include potential triggers for each chapter as relevant), so please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, domestic violence

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The days blend together in a whirlwind of rehearsals, work, and studying. The excitement for the upcoming show is palpable, but underneath it all, a sense of exhaustion lingers. I push through each long day with determination. Then one night, I stumble home after a long day, late at night. I check my mail before going up to my apartment and find a large box with my name and address on it, on the floor infront of my mailbox. Knowing the date I can only imagine what it might be. Suddenly I’m wide awake. I rush up to my apartment and dump the box on the coffee table. Knowing it could only be one person, I send him a text.

Can I open it or should I wait until tomorrow?

I wait awhile but don’t get a response. I figure he’s either asleep or in the middle of filming. I force myself to leave the box and go for a shower. Feeling warmed up and relaxed, the package falls out of my mind as I collapse into bed and fall asleep.

As I drag myself out of bed the following morning and get dressed for my shift I remember the box. I check my phone and there’s still nothing. Knowing that it’s later in the day in Vancouver, I decide to try to call him while I finish getting ready. It goes straight to his voicemail and I start to get anxious. I doublecheck the sending address on the box and it has a Vancouver address with his name, so I know at least it hasn’t even come through his management, this was all him. This makes me a little more excited, but I can’t figure out why then he’d all of a sudden be ignoring me. I try to keep a level head and tell myself he’s just busy with work. I don’t have time to dwell on it anyway. Regardless, I can’t help but dread serving loved up couples their caffeine hits for the next few hours.

I force a smile and throw on my apron as I find my rhythm. Despite my initial anxiety, I find myself getting lost in the familiar routine, the busy atmosphere providing a temporary distraction from the unanswered questions swirling in my mind. I push through and then go to my classes as usual, while avoiding checking my phone to keep myself from spiralling further unreasonably. 

As I walk home alone from the theatre, through the streets filled with loved-up couples, I try to feel happy for them while I hope that maybe next year I’ll have someone to share it with. As I approach my building I see someone sitting on the ground infront of the glass doors with their head on their knees. My heart races a little as I worry it could be someone looking for a way to sneak into the complex; I’ve seen stranger things happen in the city, unfortunately. The scene also reminds me of the time I sat in that exact position when Tyler first kicked me out of the apartment. I can’t imagine someone going through those same emotions on Valentines of all days, but for my own safety and the safety of others in the building I hope it’s the latter.

As I get closer, I can tell it’s a young girl. I think about walking past, but then I think about the immense difference it would have made if someone stopped when I was in her position. I clasp my keys in my palm as I crouch down beside her. 

“Hey, are you alright?” I ask, but she just shakes her head. “I know Valentines Day can be rough. Do you at least have somewhere to go? It’s too cold to stay out here.” She shakes her head again as her whole body shakes as she lets out a small sob. “I obviously don’t know you or what happened, but I’ve sat where you’re sitting…If you want to talk about it or just be around someone and not talk about it…” She shakes her head again. “You should at least come into the lobby, out of the cold night air.” When she still refuses to move I shrug off my jacket and wrap it around her. I feel my phone vibrate in my bag, but ignore it. While she’s refusing to talk, I know from experience that she shouldn’t be alone.

I sit on the pavement beside her under the dim streetlights in silence. When I start to shiver involuntarily she offers my jacket back. “You should go inside and stay warm. Don’t stay out here because of me. I’m obviously not worth it.” 

Hearing words so similar to ones I’ve said myself breaks my heart. “Only if you’ll let me call you a ride or bring you in. You won’t believe me, but I’ve had those exact thoughts. I don’t think you should be alone tonight.” I know it must be extremely hard for her to trust a stranger but I hope I can at least get her somewhere safe and warm.

My phone vibrates again, this time with a call. I ignore it. I don’t want this girl to think anyone or anything is more important than her. 

After a while, when she realises I’m not going anywhere, she says, “There’s no one to call…I-I was stupid.”

“I’m sure you weren’t. I’m sure you are just young and optimistic and caught in terrible circumstances beyond your control. But you likely won’t believe me, because I know I wouldn’t have. I haven’t got much to offer, but I do have an apartment with a fireplace and a comfortable couch and bed, you can have whichever.”

“I don’t-”

“It’s no problem. I just want to get you off the street for the night and I don’t imagine you can afford a hotel in the city, not to make assumptions, I just know how expensive it can be out here.”

My phone starts to buzz again and she sinks back. “You should get that.”

“They can wait. It’s probably just my mom checking because she knows how hard Valentines can be for me.” I don’t want to push too hard but I know it’s only getting later and colder and neither of us are making the most of my jacket now. I stand up and swipe my keyfob over the scanner. “At least come into the lobby, I’m happy to stay down here with you or bring you a blanket. Just come out of the cold.”

She hesitantly nods and pushes herself off the cold concrete. I lead her into the lobby. “You can come up with me or I can bring you down a blanket. It’s up to you. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, I just want you to be warm and safe. And know that you’re not alone.”

“She looks around the bare, unhomely lobby and quietly asks, “C-Can I come up with you?”

“Of course.” I press the button for the lift and step back. When we get in, I notice she doesn’t even have a bag with her, just a phone that appears to be flat. I lead her into my apartment and quickly turn the lights on and start the fireplace. “The bathroom’s through there,” I motion towards my room, “If you want to have a warm shower or wash your face. The bedroom’s also in there if you’d prefer, or the couch.” I do my best to make her feel comfortable as I kick off my shoes and put down my bag. I also toss the now wilted roses in the bin, after pocketing the card. 

“They from your boyfriend? Does that mean it gets better?” she asks.

“It’s complicated, but yes, it does get better. It may take a while, but this moment doesn’t define you. Your life is so much more than your worst nights.”

She hesitantly takes a seat on the couch to warm up by the fire and I pull over a stool. “Y-You said you sat were I sat…C-Can I ask what happened?”

I nod. “My boyfriend at the time cheated on me in this very apartment. I came home from work and caught him in our bed with some girl her met at a bar. Same way he met me, ironically. He was a few years older. There were plenty of red flags I ignored. But it hurt for a long time. I am just lucky to have a great friend that helped me pull through the worst of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

“He cheated with you here? And you stayed?”

“Yeah, crazy, right? I had a job here and classes and a friend and dreams. All of which were more important than a guy I moved across the country with on a whim. He went back to our home state and left me the apartment…and all the bills. I thought about trying to leave, but the location was perfect and the rent was cheaper than other places. I did get a new bed though. I threw out the bedding and sold the frame; there was nothing wrong with it, just that I couldn’t get the image of her gripping the headboard while he took her from behind, out of my head.”

“I’m sorry…”

I shake my head and shrug. “He was a dick. I’m just glad I didn’t let it break me. I almost did, and those thoughts resurface now and again, but I’m stronger for it. I know that now. I only realized that recently, actually…It’s these experiences that will eventually help you realize your worth.”

“He-He still has all my stuff. He begged me to forgive him…He-He wouldn’t let me…” I look her over as she speaks and notice she’s still cold. I reach over and pull the blanket off the back of the couch and offer it to her. She wraps it around herself and cuddles it close to her chest. That’s when I notice light purple bruises on her wrists.

“Did he?” I nod at her wrists and she hides them under the blanket. But then she nods.

“You can stay here as long as you need. I have a friend that works as a security guard, I can ask him to come over and help get your stuff tomorrow…Or we can go out and get you whatever you need.”

“He only does it when he’s…I provoke him…It’s my fault.”

I shake my head, knowing those feelings all too well. “Yeah? What’d you do?”

She shakes her head back and throws off the blanket. “It was my fault. I should go back. He’ll be mad if I-”

“I can’t and won’t stop you if you want to go. But I wish you wouldn’t. Just take the night. Get some sleep and think it over.”

She hesitantly pulls the blanket back on as she starts to cry again. “I-I just…I just wanted to go out. It was my first Valentines Day in a relationship…And in the city…I j-just…I-I shouldn’t…I know…”

“Hey, Sweetie. It’s okay to want those things. And every girl deserves that. Your man should want to take you out and show you a good time; not just on Valentines, but every day. But most of all, he shouldn’t ever hurt you. You’re not his punching bag.”

“He didn’t…He just-” My phone vibrates noisily on the counter cutting her off. “C-can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course. Let me know if you want to borrow some clean clothes. I should have something that should fit.”

“I’m okay. Thanks.” She quietly gets up and goes into the bathroom. I listen for the shower to turn on before I get up and check my phone: 15 texts and 3 missed calls from Jensen. I sigh and call him back without opening the messages.

“Thank God, you’re alive at least!”

“Me? You ignored me first.”

“I was working.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“At one in the morning? I know you get on the subway around eleven thirty, you always text when you get home. I didn’t hear from you. Jared only just talked me out of calling the police for a wellness check.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…Something came up. I can’t talk about it right now. But I’m home and I’m safe. And I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He sighs. “Well, happy Valentines for yesterday, I guess…”

“Don’t be like that. I texted you last night and called you first thing this morning. You didn’t answer. We’re both busy. I had to accept that, so do you. And I really am busy at the moment. I will call you and explain when I can.”

“Someone more important, huh? Some guy from the show?”

I instantly tear up at his implication. “You know what? Screw you, Jensen. You know what I’ve been through and you really think I’d do that to you? Screw you.” I hang up before he can make any excuses and wipe my eyes hastily to appear strong for the girl who needs me. He instantly tries to call me back but I flick my phone to silent and plug it in to charge. I grab a change of clothes and knock lightly on the bathroom door. 

“Hey, it’s just me. I have some clothes here if you want them.” I wait a few seconds, but when I don’t get a response I put my hand on the doorknob. “I’m sorry, I’m coming in. Call out if you don’t want me to.” I don’t get a response so I push the door open and for the first time I’m thankful that it doesn’t have a lock.

I notice her sitting on the floor with her back against the bathtub and her head between her knees. She shakes as she cries heavily. As I get closer, I notice one of my bottles of painkillers in her hand. I let out a relieved sigh when I see the cap is still on. I twist off the water in the shower and crouch down beside her. 

“He’s not worth it…None of them are. But you are. You can have a very bright future. Focus on your dreams, what you want. If you put in the hard work, you can make it happen. I know it’s hard to believe right now, but it’s true.” I hold out my hand and she hands over the bottle. 

“What if he-What if someone saw us? What if he knows? What if he-”

“Do you wanna go somewhere else? I can call my friend and we can go somewhere else. As I said, he’s a security guard, he can protect you.”

She nods. I stand up and go get my phone and bring it back. I flip down the toilet lid and sit on it as I call Nick. I know Stella will be asleep, but I’m just hoping he’s finishing a shift. It rings a few times before he answers.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Nick. Can you come over?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I was just wondering if me and a…friend could come stay with you and Stella?”

“Jensen?”

I shake my head eventhough I know he can’t see me. “Nick, could you just come, please?”

“Sure. I’m on my way. Meet me downstairs?”

“Actually, could you come up? I’ll buzz you in.”

“Okay?”

“Thank you.”

He hangs up and I go back to sit with the girl. That’s when I realize I don’t even know her name. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” I try to break the tension a little to make her feel comfortable, “I can’t believe I forgot to introduce myself.”

“Anna.”

“Nice to meet you, Anna. My friend’s gonna come here and take us back to him and his wife’s place. They live over in Manhattan. They’re both really nice. Stella is the one I was telling you about that helped me when I was going through my worst. You’ll be safe there.”

“W-will you c-come?”

“Of course. I won’t leave you.”

“I’m sorry I wasted your water and went through your stuff.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay. But I need you to tell me the truth, did you take any? I don’t mind, I’m just worried about you.”

She shakes her head. “I-I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it.”

“Well, I’m glad.”

She hangs her head again. “Todd’s gonna be so angry…”

I try my best to stifle a laugh, “Really? Todd? That’s his name?” She nods. “That’ll do it.” She looks up confused. “I’m sorry. It’s just in my experience, guy’s with T-names are the worse. The guy that cheated on me? Tyler…and also, Trent, before that.”

“Two guys?”

“What idiot falls for it twice, right? That’s why I want to help you now. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t let it become a pattern. Let him be your one and only lesson. Realize your worth now.” I hear the buzzer from the intercom near the door. I stand up and hold my hand out. “My friend’s here, let’s go back out where it’s warmer.”

She slowly takes my hand and lets me pull her up and lead her back to the couch. I only leave her for a few seconds while I buzz Nick up and then let him in. Being already on edge he scans the apartment and instantly spots Anna. 

He leans close and lowly says, “There’s some frantic guy in the lobby. I don’t think you should go anywhere. I’ll stay here.”

I nod in understanding and introduce him and Anna. I gently explain the change of plans and urge her to take my bed. She argues, claiming that she should go down and check if it’s him and calm him down. But Nick and I dissuade her. In the end, she says she doesn’t want to be alone, so I lay down in my bed with her while Nick rests on the couch watching TV.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala, @ladysparkles78

[ales-ser-known-writing-blog]

Yaaaay~! Intro Post! Intro Post!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Alestra/Ales [] She/Her, They/Them [] 21

Hey everyone! I'm Alestra/Ales. Welcome to my writing blog! I'm slowly trying to be more active and alive here, as well as post stuff and maybe write things too. It's been forever since I wrote fandom stuff, so I wanna get back into the swing of things!

Before You Follow or Interact!

I dabble in writing content that involves; gore, violence, occasional dead doves, issues in fictional worlds that have paralleles to real-life problems. I will always tag and post content warnings at the start of any post, but if any of these trigger or disturb you, I would suggest not interacting or block the triggering tags for your sake.

Please do not ask me to write sexual requests for minor characters. Incest, p/dophilia, zoophilia are MAJOR no-nos on this blog. I will NOT entertain any requests for them

Racists, transphobes, p/dos homophobes, islamophobes, xenophobes DNI and DNF. Just because a character in a piece of writing behaves in such a way doesn't mean you should emulate it IRL.

Fandoms I do write for:

- Twisted Wonderland (Pls note furthest I've gotten to in the canon story is Chapter 5, so I won't be able to write accurate or detailed stuff pertaining to events in Book 6 and 7!!)

- MILGRAM (I'm down to write anyone and everyone LESSGOOOO)

- Alien Stage (One of the fandoms that I'm new to but I think I have a good grasp on the characters)

-Creepypasta (...sure?? Ig?? Does anyone even follow this anymore)

Requests are Open Currently!

-To submit a request, send me an ask with the fandom of choice and whether its a oneshot or headcanon bullet-points. Headcanon bullet points will be things like XXX reacts to [insert ask scenario here], oneshots will be a short piece of writing.

-This is like an additional add on, but if you have an idea or concept of what the reader insert should be like, do describe them in the ask so we know what we're working with! Also as a bonus specifying female/male/gender-neutral/non-binary if you feel it's relevant to the ask will help a lot in tag organisation! If no specification is given, I default to using they/them for inserts

(Pls note this is my first time writing this sorta stuff so it'll be revised over time tyyyyy)

[echoghost1]

InvisoBang 2023 - Dawn Of Influence - Chapter 10

Title: Dawn Of Influence Chapter 10 Title: I Love Loopholes Summary: Danny is in his senior year of high school. His life, even with his still secret half-ghost nonsense, has settled down to a new, but manageable normal. That is until one day he starts to notice something is off. He doesn’t feel right, so he tries to find out what’s going on. His ghost form is changing but he has no idea what it’s changing into or why. Characters: Danny Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Jazz Fenton, Clockwork, Pandora, Frostbite Total Word Count: 17,010 Trigger Warnings & relevant tags: Mystery, Horror, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Ghost King Danny Fenton

You can find my fic on ao3 and read chapter 10 down below the cut!

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | [you’re here] | Ch 11 | Ch 12

*ahem* And finally the answers you've all been waiting for! 🎉

“Wait, that’ll work?”

“Yes!” Clockwork nodded eagerly.

“Really!?”

“Yes, really!”

“Gimmie a hint! Gimmie a hint!” Danny was bouncing in his seat. His upper hands clapped while his lower ones drummed on his thighs.

Clockwork was just as excited by this development. He didn’t show it in the same way but Danny could tell by his smile and the way his aura glowed a little bit brighter.

“Consequences!”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you because of something I did, and this is happening because of something you did. Consequences.”

“I did something, but it’s not a curse?” Danny clarified.

“No. Not a curse. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“So I did a good thing?”

“Yes.”

“What did I do?”

Clockwork shook his head.

“Okay, that’s too direct. Can I ask when?”

Clockwork gave a little so-so wave of his hand but still didn’t say anything.

“Okay? Um, was it recently?”

Clockwork stared at him, but it was different. It was almost like he didn’t understand the question.

“You know time is relative right?” Clockwork asked.

“I’ve heard that before.”

“I see all of time simultaneously. Everything has both happened and is yet to happen for me.”

“So there’s no such thing as recently then?”

“Not really.”

“Maybe I should just avoid time-related hints then,” Danny said as he tried to think of something else to ask.

“That might be best.”

“Oh I know! Was it when I became a half-ghost?”

“No. Although being a ghost is a part of it.”

“So I could have done the thing without being a ghost?”

“Technically.”

That just made it even more confusing.

“Sorry, ignore that hint,” Clockwork said realizing how unhelpful that was.

“You said it was something I did, and it sounds like it was after I got my powers,” Danny said as he thought aloud, “was it a big thing that I did?”

“Big as in important?”

“Yeah.”

Clockwork nodded eagerly.

“Was it,” Danny hesitated, “was it because of the whole bad future thing?”

The thing that made him promise to be good. The thing that made him worried about the future.

“No, it wasn’t that.”

Danny sighed in relief but then realized he still wasn’t any closer to the answer.

“You have done other big things, Danny.”

“I know. It’s just hard to figure out what it could be.”

“I don’t know if this will help, but it was a fight.”

“The thing I did was a fight?”

Clockwork nodded.

“How can that be a hint you can give me? Isn’t that too direct?”

“No, because it wasn’t just a fight. If it was just a fight it wouldn’t have led to this.”

This had to be the hardest game of 20 questions he had ever played in his life.

Danny tapped his chin in thought. It was a fight. A big fight. A big ghost fight. 

That did narrow it down. Sure he fought a lot but he didn’t have big fights that often. And he hadn’t had a big fight in a while.

“Was it my last big fight?” Danny asked.

“Depends?”

“Did I have my ice powers yet?”

“You’ve always had those.”

“No I,” Danny started to disagree but then remembered that Frostbite had said his ghost sense was a part of ice powers. So he did, in fact, have it the whole time.

“Okay, but I didn’t know that. So did I know I had ice powers, like did I use them in the fight?”

Clockwork thought for a moment before answering, “No.”

A big fight that he didn’t have his ice powers for? He didn’t have that many big fights before his ice powers. And Clockwork already said it wasn’t one of them.

That really only left one.

But that was so long ago.

But there wasn’t any other fight it could be.

Unless Clockwork and him and different definitions for big fights, but he had a feeling this was it.

But if it was that, why was it affecting him now?

He didn’t want to say it and be wrong.

He had to be sure.

“Did this big fight, that I didn’t use my ice powers for, the reason the Far Frozen think I’m such a big deal?”

Clockwork gave him a warm smile and a simple, “yes.”

“But that was so long ago.”

“Maybe for you.”

Danny looked at his hands, all four, “So this is what happens when you fight the ghost king?”

Clockwork made a noise, sort of like a wince. “You are so close.”

“It wasn’t just fighting him?”

Clockwork shook his head no.

“Was it putting him back in the sarcophagus?”

Clockwork gestured for him to keep going.

What else was there? 

“I won?”

Clockwork continued to gesture for him to keep going.

“And?” 

And he was feeling stupider by the second that was for sure.

He wasn’t sure he could do this on his own.

“Oh.” and that’s when it hit him.

“I fought him one on one. I knocked the crown off. I caught it.” Danny looked up to Clockwork’s expectant eyes, “He’s not the king anymore, is he?”

“No. No, he isn’t.”

“So who’s the king now?”

“You already know the answer to that,” he paused just for a moment before saying, “Your Highness.”

“I don’t want it!”

“It’s a little late for that.”

“That’s not fair! I didn’t know!”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t have gone to fight him if you knew winning would make you king?”

Danny hesitated before answering. He thought back to that fight, to the chaos Dark had brought with him. 

How Danny had fully expected to not survive the fight.

And how he went anyway.

He had to.

He knew he could help and he couldn’t just sit by and do nothing.

He had no idea winning was even possible at the time. He never expected to get anything out of it.

He didn’t know there was a prize to win.

But it made sense.

There also wasn’t anyone else that he would have wanted to go instead. No one else that he would be happier if they had won.

There wasn’t anyone he could think of to pass this off to either.

Danny flopped over to lean on Clockwork’s shoulder.

“This means we can talk about it now right?”

“I believe so, yes,” Clockwork said as he gently stroked Danny’s hair. He was careful not to touch his horns.

“So why does being King make me look different?”

“The Ghost King is a powerful role. It isn’t just a title. It means something. Ghosts are beings of energy and emotion. The more power you have the more you can affect the world around you, but the more the world affects you too.”

“How?”

“The Ghost King is a title. It is an Idea. Ideas are powerful things. They are also changeable.”

“I’m an idea?”

“Yes.”

Danny sat up slowly and turned to face Clockwork better, “Who’s idea am I?”

“The Infinite Realms, or the Ghost Zone, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m the Idea of a Place?”

“You are an Idea of the people of the place.”

Danny knew he was making the most confused expression right now. He had no idea what to even ask to make it less confusing.

“You are also one of the people of this place.”

“Why is it the more you say the less I understand?”

“What you believe affects you just as much as everyone else who is feeding into the Idea.”

“Clockwork can you please say something that makes sense?”

He sighed softly and smoothed out a wrinkle in his cloak. “I suppose I could try simplifying it a little more.”

“Please dumb it down. Pretend you are talking to the world’s stupidest baby. Because that’s how I feel right now.”

“I’ll try my best,” Clockwork chuckled.

Danny sighed and hoped he’d start to understand soon.

“I’m an Idea of Time. Time is something that is most often represented as a clock.”

“So you have a clock in your body because you are Time?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“What does that mean for me then?”

“The Ghost King is not only strong but must look the part. So for you that translated into your claws and fangs.”

“What about my horns?”

“That too, but that’s not all they are representing.”

“It’s not?”

“No. Their form and the shape they took have meaning as well.”

Danny reached up and touched one of his horns, the coolness of the ice reaching him before he even touched it.

“If they were only because you were to be perceived as aggressive, they would be pointed forward, but yours point away.” Clockwork took Danny’s hand in his own, “You are strong and powerful. You have won many battles, but you aren’t just a fighter. You fight to protect, to help those you care about. You are a friend.”

Clockwork looked over Danny’s horns but did not touch them, “Such a good friend that the Yetis see you as one of their own.”

As weird as all of this was to hear, it really did make sense. 

Frostbite had been so excited when he saw Danny was getting horns.

“Why do I have extra arms?”

“That, I believe, is a question better suited for someone other than myself.”

“What? Why?”

“For one, I’m not a Hexapod.”

Danny wasn’t quite sure what that meant but then Clockwork looked Danny over. 

“I’m one?” Danny asked making sure he understood what that look was for.

“Yes.”

That word sounded vaguely familiar, or at least a part of it did.

Oh, that was right, Hex was a number word. It meant six.

Danny wasn’t a six-something. Was he?

He looked himself over. Four arms. Two legs.

Then he sighed. Right, six-limbs. 

Legs were limbs.

Then he remembered he did know another four-armed person.

How did he forget about Pandora?

He should have gone to see her sooner.

“You know where you’re headed?” Clockwork asked.

“Yeah, thanks Clockwork!” Danny said giving him a quick hug in thanks.

Clockwork returned the hug, “Purple is a good color on you.”

Danny looked up at him confused for a moment before checking his hands.

“It would be nice to know what this was all about,” Danny said as he watched the purple slowly shift to green.

Clockwork just patted Danny on the head and floated with him to the door.

It wasn’t until Pandora’s island was in view, that Danny realized that Clockwork knew why Danny was changing colors. He just didn’t tell him.

“Rude.”