#Martialis

[madebypointlesswords]

Rating all the Latin authors I've read in the past two years in honor of my oral Latin exam tomorrow

Caesar (De Bello Gallico)

This is a weird one because while his prose isn't extremely difficult, it was also the first unedited work I read, so for lil 15-year-old me, this was very difficult. But I learned a lot from Caesar (especially that he made it an art to making his sentences as long as possible. We read an entire 200 words, and IT WAS JUST ONE SENTENCE.), and the sense of nostalgia while rereading it is very pleasant, so I will give you a solid 6/10

Pliny the Younger (Epistulae)

Mixed feelings about this one again. This could also be just because I despise prose. I really do not like it at all. Pliny's epistulae were pretty okay. I liked them a little better than Caesar's because of their variety (for those that don't know, epistulae means letters). His letter about the Vesuvius was a lot of fun to translate, even with all the hyperbata, but his letters about or to his third wife were very uncomfortable. Like, I get things were different back then. BUT YOU WERE 45, PLINY. 45. SHE WAS WHAT? 14? 15 TOPS? MY GOD. THAT'S A BIGGER AGE DIFFERENCE THAN I HAVE WITH MY FATHER.

7/10

Ovid (Metamorphoses)

Ovid is life Ovid is love. He was the one who introduced me to Latin poetry, and I will always love him for it. He was an icon and a legend. The poems of his that we read (Daedalus & Icarus, Latona and the Lycian peasants, Diana and Actaeon) were all bangers, and I love them all to death. I never wanted to go back to reading prose after this (but unfortunately, I will have to next year. ew)

11/10 (I love you, Ovid)

Vergil (The Aeneid)

*deep sigh* Listen. I love his complex works, and I have great respect for this poem but by the GODS. Vergil's poetry is the most difficult I've had to translate by a long shot. He made me rethink my entire career in Latin. I have considered quitting so many times because of this man. I felt like a complete idiot most of the time. This is not a guy to fuck with. Luckily I got through it on my finals (barely.) but Christ alive this man made my life difficult.

5/10

Horatius (Satires and Odes)

Horatius will always have a special place in my heart. We read his poetry right after Vergil's, and it almost completely restored my faith in my abilities. He's just my little guy and I have fond memories of translating his works. We still know many Latin phrases that he wrote (Carpe Diem being the most famous. Hello, DPS fandom). Also, he and Vergil were most definitely in love. I don't make the rules. I have evidence if you want me to elaborate.

9/10

Catullus (love poems)

Ah, Catullus. Horny poet of the year. Had a wild affair with an older married woman. Nepotism baby. Sappho stan. Didn't know how to budget, but we aren't holding that against him. Just wanted to write poetry and dance (who doesn't, honestly). Gave fuck-all about education. Wrote nearly all of his poetry about the older woman he had an affair with. Might I add that this woman was married to one of his father's bestest buddies? Yeah. Icon. Here's a kid's choice award.

8/10

Martialis (Epigrams)

This dude had ZERO chill. Roasted everyone in the city. Literally, no one is safe. Wasn't afraid to call people out by their real names. Some people allegedly committed suicide after being roasted by this guy. Translating his epigrams gave me more joy than hearing we had seen the end of Vergil. His humour may be a little silly now, but I will not accept any Martialis slander on my blog.

10/10

And that is all folks

[teethburger]

Shakespearean insults: You cur, I bite my thumb at thee! May all thy crops wither and thy mother succumb to leprosy!

old roman insults: you’re a slut your friends are ugly and your wife blames her farts on her baby

[eastern-lights]

[ranger-husband]

Martialis tries to write a friendly letter to Joyce, but ends up writing and not sending a love letter. Neither of them send any letters back and forth because “he’s probably dead anyways” (Martialis) and “would he even receive my letters? What would I even say? ‘Hey what’s up, killed some more guys, still no clue who this revenge plot is after. The mystery lives on!’ Do I mention the heart attack?” (Joyce). Anyways Joyce forgets to send Martialis a wedding invite as a result.

[mascula-sappho]

Martial's Epigrams 12.96 if you even care

[twafordizzy]

Dorothy Parker: 'Je was geweldig'

bron beeld: rakuten.com De Amerikaanse schrijfster Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) maakte naast korte verhalen, gedichten. Haar invloeden waren Martialis, de Latijnse dichter die scherp, geestig en scabreus was, en Hemingway. Parker werd bekend door sarcastische toneelkritieken en snijdende one-liners. En, niet onbelangrijk, componisten Cole Porter en Prince wijdden een compositie aan haar: Just One…

[casioandglitter]

Written by the Roman poet Marcus Valerius Martialis almost 2000 years ago.

[sictransitgloriamvndi]

“Be content to seem what you really are.” - Martial

[tealeaves71]

Epigrams by Martial: Book 11, Epigram 93

Read more at my Wordpress blog.

[k-wame]

Then you are like me…and like all the Romans…and all the barbarians…and all the generations before us…and all those yet to come. For who does not wish, your grace, with all their heart for the quiet mind? Tell me a single soul who has ever found it. [2010 · THE TUDORS · S4·E04 · History]

[ranger-husband]

Y’know those times where I said Martialis and Joyce wouldn’t do anything even vaguely romantic together? I lied. Their entire relationship is seeped in romantics.

Joyce named his eldest daughter after Martialis’ sister. Martialis has a fondness for Mielikki because of Joyce. They have saved each other’s lives an unreasonable amount of times and stopped the other from self destruction.

Martialis would 100% swear an oath to protect Joyce under the right circumstances and fall in love. Their relationship is already homoerotic as fuck you just need to give them a little push for their mouths to touch. Joyce tucks Martialis in one night and Martialis is like “oh fuck. hey, can I slow cook you?”

[theromaboo]

It terrifies me that there's a nursery rhyme based on a Martial poem. I know you can "separate the art from the artist" and that jazz, but really? It's kind of like if we found out Blippi was a pornstar. His show for children might be completely normal, but can you really watch it the same again?

[castilestateofmind]

“Nos celtis genitos et ex iberis” / ”We are the descendants of Celts and Iberians”.

- Marcus Valerius Martialis, “Martial”.

[drustanus]

We're back in business with another epigram from Martial! Stay tuned for more daily. But watch out because this is a weird one! From book 3.

Transaltion.

Do you want to know how thin your anus is?

O Sabellus, you can sodomize with your ass.

[quotationadmiration]

Be cheerful, if you are wise.

Martial

[tealeaves71]

Epigrams by Martial: Book 5, Epigram 83

Read more at my Wordpress blog.