#Marauder Fanfiction
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sun-kissy · 1 day ago
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No worries if you don’t feel comfortable writing this, but Remus x reader who’s having an anxiety attack? I read the prompt below that made me think of this, and just want something just as sad to match. As much of a fluffy ending as you can pls :(
"Leave me alone!" She screamed, pushing away the only person that seemed to care about her.
thank you for your request, sweetheart!!
breathe | r.l.
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tw: anxiety attack
remus lupin x reader
Remus wasn’t expecting to find you in a foetal position on your bedroom floor upon coming in. He had knocked on your front door a couple times, and when you hadn’t opened it, assumed you were using the bathroom and let himself in.
You had your legs folded up to your chest, arms wrapped around yourself like a shield. He immediately knew there was a cause for concern, what with how your loud breaths got shallower as the seconds passed. Shaking like a leaf may have been a cliché phrase; but there was nothing else he could think of to describe you, frail and torn and trembling all over.
In your defence, you had no idea an anxiety attack was coming for you. One second you were doing the laundry, and the next it felt like someone had wrapped their hands around your neck and squeezed.
You had immediately staggered into your bedroom, which was a mistake — the walls of the small room seemed to close in on you, pressing and pushing until they reduced you to the tiny thing laying pathetically on your floor.
The sound of your heartbeat was deafening, all around you like the four walls of a cage. Panic was clogging up your throat, condensing into bile on the tip of your tongue. You couldn’t think. There were strategies that you had learnt, ways to calm yourself down. But your mind was shrouded in fear in the form of fog, dread in the shape of darkness. There was no escaping this.
“Hey,” a gentle voice says. An arm wraps around your shoulders, carefully pulling you up into a sitting position. Warm, calloused hands take your own. Remus.
It’s hard to hear him over the noise of your thrumming heartbeat. You lick your lips, over and over again. It doesn’t help; your voice is still stuck at the bottom of your throat. “I — I can’t —“
“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he continues to rub the back of your palm, using his other hand to brush off the beads of sweat adorning your forehead. “Look at me, sweetheart.”
You tried to locate Remus in the blurry pixels dotting your vision, but the best you could do was his silhouette.
“I can’t — I can’t find you,” you gasp desperately, breaths getting heavier.
“That’s okay, dove. I’ll find you.”
He brings your hand to his chest, splaying out his palm over yours. “We’ve got to slow down your breathing, okay? Can you do this with me?”
You feel his chest expand, before it settles back in its original position. Up, then down again. You don’t think you can do it, but for Remus, you’ll give it a shot.
Up, then down. Your heart squeezes when you try to breathe; like it’s nothing but a sponge. You open your mouth to tell Remus that, but the sponge in your chest makes its way to your throat. All you can do is shake your head pitifully.
Remus gives you a reassuring smile, his kindness endless. “That’s alright, you’re doing really well. Let’s try something easier, yeah? Help me out here. Find something… red, in this room.”
You turn your head, eyes darting around aimlessly. Your gaze locks on a blurry shape in the open dresser, which revealed itself to be a scarf when you squinted. You raise your hand, pointing at it with a trembling finger.
“Good job, dove.” A swift kiss to your forehead. “What about something blue?”
Blue. You swivel your head around. One more time, and you still can’t spot a thing. There’s nothing blue here, and you’re going to panic, and —
Blue. Your favourite colour. You immediately look down, fingers clenching around the crystal blue locket on your neck. The present Remus had given you for your sixteenth birthday.
“This — this locket?” you croak.
“You got it,” he murmurs reassuringly, giving your wrist a squeeze. “Last one, okay? Green.”
It was getting easier. You blink and your head seems a little lighter. “The plants, by the windowsill.”
“Well done, sweetheart.” He gives you a congratulatory peck on the top of your head, fingers sliding down to intertwine with yours. “Feeling better?”
You nod an affirmative, letting out a shaky breath as the tension seeps out. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he smiles softly. “Do you know what triggered it?”
You sigh, leaning back till your head hits the wall. Remus is quick to slot his hand in between, softening the blow as he slowly drops his arm. “I don’t know. I guess it was just the lack of sleep.”
“You need to take better care of yourself, dove. You’ve been overworking,” he sighs, moving his hand to rub circles on your knee.
“I know. Sorry.”
“Nothing to apologise for, lovely girl.” He starts to smile when you clamber forward, arms wrapping around his shoulders in an awkward hug. “Just try to listen to your body more, yeah? And to me, of course.”
“Of course,” you mutter sarcastically, your lips curving upward. He grins, grabbing your hips and tugging until you’re straddling him. “That’s right. Now, how about you go take a warm bath and I’ll order us some pizza?”
“But I need to finish my —“
“Nope. What did I just tell you?”
You sigh loudly. “I gotta listen to you,” you grumble.
“Exactly. That’s my good girl,” Remus grins, fingers slipping under your T-shirt to rub the skin on your hips lovingly.
He helps you up and to the bathroom. He orders pizza, puts on your favourite movie, and smothers you with love. Remus was right; you were going to be okay.
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dovahtobi · 1 day ago
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Four To The End Book Four Chapter Eleven - The Date is now out!
AO3
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xkittyxkattzx · 3 days ago
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it would be nice if i wrote a ficc James centric, where he goes to a psychiatric clinic and meets slytherin skittle and i dont know if i want to do it Hogwarts au magri in the summer in the 6th year after james had a trauma with bipolar james where like i was thinking abt him being in a bad relationship like halfway through 5th year and the summer when he comes home and really kidda BAD and elfy and monty think it's a good idea before 6th year starts AND IT WON'T BE A GOOD IDEA bcs regulus barty and evan are here too and It will definitely be starchaser/jegulus and i really what something abt James and barty like or a good friendship or something more..? also idk abt smut but mybe ? idk i also what a bit of morallly Gray James but uhmm idk i what also a lot of angst and like discover thing little by little and idkkk!!!
I don't know but I don't know how to write it or if I should write it..bcs i also have hard time write thing alone 😭 also i my change someting or all but the main idea is always the same idk if i should bcs i really like It but idk if anyone else I would like It .
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oliver-and-mushrooms · 20 hours ago
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I need a arcane au of the marauders. The parallels of Sirius and Regulus and vi and jinx are insane.
Please
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thelyinggrapevine · 5 months ago
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The Marauders & Regulus out in town, enjoying the day...
Peter: Guys, where's Regulus? I don't see him anywhere.
Sirius: Eh, he'll make his way back eventually - he's like a cat in that regard.
Remus: I got this, no worries. *Deep breath* SIRIUS BLACK IS A SHIT BROTHER!
*Silence*
Sirius: Mooney, that's not gonna work, we're barely on speaking terms right now.
Remus: I have a back-up plan; JAMES POTTER IS WEIRD AND NOBODY LIKES HIM!
Regulus, getting closer the more he yells: HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, PIECE OF SHIT?
Sirius: See, Mooney, I told you he wouldn't answer to mine.
Regulus, suddenly there now: No, I answered to yours, I was just too far away. Also, Remus? I will hit you if you say shit like that again about either of them, joke or not. I'm the only one who can talk shit about my brother, I don't care if you guys are dating. *crosses arms over chest*
Sirius, tearing up: Reg... OW-
Regulus, trying to hide his blush: Shut the fuck up.
James, leaning on Peter: Did you hear that, Pete?? He defended me!! That has to mean something, right?? Do you think he likes me? Oh, I hope so!!
Peter, rubbing in-between his eyes: James, he was literally sitting in your lap last night and letting you play with his hair. Not even Barty's allowed to do that anymore.
James, clueless: Yeah?
Peter: I do not get paid enough for this.
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ellecdc · 9 months ago
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The Winner Takes It All
poly!Marauders x reader (gender not specified)
CW: slight light angst (between reader x other students), confusion on relationship status, fluff
You didn’t really know what you had done to win the affections of the infamous Marauder boys – namely Remus, Sirius, and James – but you weren’t going to question it too deeply; you quite enjoyed their company.
Everyone knew the three boys were together: Sirius and James were never known for their subtlety, and Remus was the reluctant (but quite pleased) victim of their near constant PDA. 
Somehow, you too had gotten swept up in their affections.
It wasn’t official – in the sense that you and the boys had never discussed what their flirting, pet names, cuddles, or forehead kisses meant in the grand scheme of things – but no one was ignorant to the chemistry between the four of you. The boys were so unbelievably sweet with you, and their attention felt like nothing short of worship.
James’ excessive excitement when you walked into a room left you feeling like you meant something; an overwhelming sense of belonging within his space. Sirius’ devilish flirting, compliments, and obvious ogling made you feel more beautiful than you ever thought possible. And Remus’ small gestures – whether carrying your books for you, ensuring you’ve eaten and drank enough water, and his special nicknames he seemed to save just for you - left you melted into a puddle of fondness. 
And that wasn’t always taken very well by others.
Namely, Emmeline Vance. 
The boys had been known to be quite…open…in their sexual encounters in the past and have, on occasion, included a fourth party in their dorm room activities. This quickly stopped when some parties felt this meant they were included in their dynamic.
Emmeline was one of them, and it appeared she wasn’t taking the news of them seemingly working to include an official fourth to their relationship very well. 
This is one of the reasons you hadn’t brought up exactly what you meant to them; you were not interested in simply being the boys’ next bedmate, and a part of you was afraid that bringing things up would expose the fact that this was indeed their hope.
The other part of you knew that the boys weren’t the kind to string someone along, and that they’d have to be playing an awfully long game if that was truly their angle. But the possibility squeezed at your heart nonetheless.
Emmeline had taken to making snooty comments to you when the boys weren’t around. Lily, Marlene, Peter, and Dorcas seemed particularly bothered by it, but you did your best to ignore her.
But there was a part of you that wanted to scream at her a little bit…you weren’t even technically in a relationship with them! You’d never slept with them, you’d never even properly kissed any of them, and you certainly hadn’t made any moves to make whatever this was ‘official’. 
Another part of you didn’t even want to entertain the situation. You had far more important things to concern yourself with: You were studying for your NEWTS, considering whether you wanted to head right into the workforce or explore further education, and where the hell you were going to live after graduation. 
Unfortunately, Emmeline wasn’t the only one to pick up on your new-found closeness with the Marauders.
“Well, well, well…look what the lions dragged in.” Mulciber sneered from behind you as you made your way up the path from Hogsmeade. You rolled your eyes and kept your head forward; you’d been given permission from the headmaster to run to the village to purchase more potions ingredients, but apparently, so had the Slytherins.
“What? Good enough for those Gryffindor’s but not us? Where’re you running too?” Avery continued with a malicious grin when you picked up your pace. 
Thankfully, you could see the Hogwarts grounds were up ahead, and Lily was there at the gates waiting for you.
“Sod off.” You threw over your shoulder, feeling slightly bolder in the presence of your friend. 
You smiled warmly at the redhead as she threw her arm over your shoulder, sparing the Slytherin gits behind you a withering glare as you carried on towards the castle.
“What’s their problem now, hm?” She asked you, still glaring at the boys.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, who knows. Not happy with anyone associated with the Marauders.” 
Lily snorted inelegantly. “I don’t even think they’ve bothered pranking the Slytherin’s lately.”
“Nope.” You agreed with a pop of the P. “Everyone’s got bigger problems right now.”
Lily laughed but it turned into a groan. “Yeah, speaking of: incoming.”
You followed her gaze to see Emmeline making her way towards the two of you.
“Hello Lily!” She said cheerily before her face turned stony as the considered you, “Y/N.”
You tried to refrain (somewhat unsuccessfully) from rolling your eyes as you said hello to the girl.
“Have you seen the boys around?” She asked feigning innocence, but you both knew exactly who she was on about.
Lily played dumb, though you knew that she knew very well who Emmeline was looking for. “Which boys, Vance? That covers just about half of the population at Hogwarts.” She asked coolly. 
“Remmy, Siri, and Jamie. Obviously. I’m going to ask them to Hogsmeade this weekend.” She shared with a sense of finality. You did roll your eyes at this, and Lily scoffed.
“Well, my first place to look for them would be with Y/N, and seeing as they’re not here, I couldn’t tell you.” Lily spat.
Emmeline narrowed her eyes and looked between the two of you before she levelled a glare at you.
“This isn’t over. I’ll win them back.” She said plainly, and something about her tone caused you to snap.
The Slytherin’s, Emmeline, the stress of not knowing – it was all too much, and you were done.
“You know what, Emmeline?” You said in a calm tone as you looked to the sky. “You can have them.”
Lily whipped her head to look at you bewilderedly at the same time Emmeline cocked her head at you.
“I beg your pardon?” She asked as you returned your eyes to her.
“If you think you can ‘win’ them, you can have them. I don’t want something that can so easily be taken from me, anyway. But you’re competing in a game that I’m not even playing, so either take them or leave me alone because I’ve got bigger fucking problems than your stupid school-girl crush.” You were out of breath by the time you finished; your face was hot, and you were sure it was likely the colour of Lily’s hair, but you willed yourself not to cry as you stormed toward the castle.
Damn being an angry crier.
You were just so tired – this wasn’t a game to you; these were your friends, perhaps more (you certainly hoped more), and it was also your feelings. But what you said was true – nothing that can be taken from you is worth keeping, not even them. 
Lily quickly caught up to you but knew better than to say anything now, giving you the chance to breathe and calm down. You both made your way to Gryffindor tower where you threw yourself haphazardly into one of the plush couches near the fireplace. 
“Fuck.” You groaned as you rubbed your hand down your face.
“You okay, hun?” Lily asked as she pet your head commiseratively. 
You groaned again as you let your hand fall from your head and hang dramatically off the side of the couch. “Yeah, just tired. Of everything.”
Lily hummed in sympathy. “Why don’t you relax up here? I can bring you something from the Great Hall for supper.”
You looked at your friend like she hung the moon. “You’d do that for me?”
She chuckled and pinched your cheek, “‘Course. Anything for you, gorgeous.” She winked, trying on her best Sirius Black voice to mimic what the boy has said to you many-a-times before. 
They really did treasure you, didn’t they?
You sort of regretted your outburst now – you knew the boys weren’t a prize in some juvenile contest; that’s what you’d been trying to point out – but you worried that’s not the way it sounded. What would they do once they heard? And you knew they would – hear about it, that is. Would their feelings be hurt? Would they understand? Would they feel embarrassed to be spoken about in such a manner?
You didn’t have much time to think about it after Lily left, because before you knew it, said boys were crawling through the portrait hole. 
“Angel!” James shouted at you as he found your form curled up against the arm of the couch. He made for you instantly, vaulting himself over the back of the couch sat opposite of you like some kind of living room gymnast and launching himself onto your couch, nearly right on top of you. 
“Hi Jamie.” You said shyly as his arms wrapped around your middle and he dug his face into the crook of your neck.
“Missed you.” He said, though the sound was muffled from the new home he seemed to have made in your being.
“Lily said we’d find ya here.” Sirius said as he sat on the coffee table in front of you. You grimaced in response.
“How was your trip to Hogsmeade?” Remus redirected at your obvious discomfort, taking a place beside Sirius.
“Oh, it was alright. I found what I needed.” You answered quietly, playing with the nailbeds of your fingers. Sirius quickly gave you one of his hands to play with instead. 
“We heard you gave Vance a verbal lashing.” He said as you fiddled with one of the many rings adorning his long fingers. You groaned and let your head fall back onto the couch. 
“Sirius.” Remus quietly (though lovingly) chided. “Do you wanna talk about it, dove?” 
And there he goes with the nicknames, and James’ cuddling and Sirius’ piercing gaze and what the hell were you even doing here? 
“No.” You answered. “I don’t know.” You amended quickly. 
“I hope she didn’t upset you too terribly.” James offered quietly as he moved his chin to rest on your shoulder so he could look at you. You were suddenly self-conscious of how the side of your head looked.
“No. I may have been a little out of line.” You acquiesced. Sirius scoffed dramatically.
“Please, you’ve never been unreasonable a day in your life. You should try it once in a while.”
You chuckled at the dark-haired boy. “If anyone can drive me to it, it’ll be you boys.” You tried to joke, but it came out somberly. 
“I’m sorry if being with us makes things a little tricky for you, with other students.” Remus apologized. 
You snorted. “I’m not sure why being friends with you guys should be such an issue for other people.”
“Friends?” James asked as he sat up a little straighter. You cocked your eyebrow as you turned to look at him.
“Well, I don’t know…We’ve never really discussed anything, I didn’t want to assume…” You trailed off as you started picking at your nailbeds again. This time, Sirius moved to his knees in front of you and took both of your hands in each of his.
“Assume. Assume it all; all of it, everything. We’re yours.” He said emphatically, punctuating each sentiment with a squeeze of your joined hands.
“If you’ll have us…” Remus corrected, and you felt something swell behind your eyes at the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks. 
James seemed just as moved by Remus’ bashfulness as he leaned forward to caress the boy’s cheek. “We know we’d love to have you.” James finished for him.
You sniffled and offered them a tight smile. “I’d like that.”
Sirius deflated instantly and let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank gods. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no.”
“Die, probably.” James said seriously, surprising a laugh out of you.
“We never wanted you to feel insecure in your place with us, dovey. We’re sorry we didn’t make it clearer how much you mean to us.” Remus continued.
“It’s not that. You make me feel very…” but you trailed off timidly.
“Very…” Sirius continued with a devilish grin. You tried to hide behind your hands but he held-fast. “Don’t get shy on us now, gorgeous. How do we make you feel?”
“Cherished.” You whispered, and you watched as the mirth left his face, leaving behind only fondness.
“Oh, thank merlin.” James breathed. “I thought I’d have to up my flirting; and I don’t know if you guys know this, but I already live at 100% love always.”
“We know.” You, Sirius, and Remus answered in unison. 
“Okay, Jamie. Scoot.” Sirius said as he stood. He hardly waited for James to make room before he’d picked you up and flipped you two, so he was now sitting in your spot, and you were in his lap. “My turn.” He muttered as he put his face in the crook of your neck like James had before. James didn’t seem to mind the intrusion much; his arm thrown across Sirius’ shoulders and fingers rubbing at the baby hairs on your neck.
“Y/N?” Remus asked, and your toes curled in anxiety at how serious he looked.
“Yes?”
“May I kiss you?” He asked, keeping his honey gaze locked on yours.
You felt a grin overtake your face as you nodded emphatically. His smile matched yours as he leaned forward resting his hand on your knee and pressed his lips gently to yours. You felt so incredibly complete – Sirius’ arms wrapped securely around you, James gently massaging your neck and shoulders, and Remus’ lips on yours.
Both you and Remus seemed reluctant to separate, but you did. He pressed one last kiss to your lips before he leaned back into his seat on the coffee table.
“Does this mean we get to do that all of the time now?!” James asked excitedly, causing the three of you to chuckle. You didn’t much mind the sound of that.
“There was no competition.” Sirius said quietly from his place in your neck. You turned your head which forced him from your neck as you looked at him inquisitively.
“There was never any competition. Between you and Emmeline.” He clarified, silver irises seeming to bore into your soul. “Between you and anyone.” 
You felt heat rush to your cheeks and ducked your head.
“And even if there was,” James continued, “you’d have won by a landslide.” 
Read the companion piece: The Loser Has To Fall
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not-rab · 3 months ago
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rosekiller but vampire!evan and barty’s dad is a known vampire hunter
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darkcademiasss · 4 months ago
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heartbreak or heart "why did you burn that letter? it wasnt from mum, i wrote it myself, I wanted to see you" break.
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outromoony · 6 months ago
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"No matter where they would have landed, Remus would have fallen for him, regardless." —Remus Lupin in A black mass over highway ninety; the biggest simp to ever simp.
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sharpthorngrr · 6 months ago
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Sirius coming out to his parents and being all confident and gleeful at their anger and disappointment. Sirius making jokes about all the boys he's gonna date. Sirius pretending it wasn't one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. Sirius sitting in a quiet corner sobbing alone because the things his parents say and think do effect him but he can't let anyone know that.
Sorry :'(
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sun-kissy · 3 months ago
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Hi, i wanted to request a james potter x reader thingy :))
So the idea is that james and reader broke up during hogwarts/directly after because they had the children talk, james really wants to be a father but reader is terrified of pregnancy so they break up. But over the years the reader keeps yearning for james and eventually they meet again when james and lily are together and have baby harry and its just really angsty 😭😭
Hope all of this makes sense i thought of this while listening to a song lyric
thank you for the request babe i love how your brain works <3 this is quite angsty so hopefully you like it! and now i’m curious to know what song 👀
also here’s some shameless promotion for @astonishment’s series with the same name, it’s deliciously tragic (☹️☹️☹️) and everyone should check it out!!
in another life | j.p.
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“Calm down, babe,” Sirius mutters as you walk in step, looping his arm through yours.
You nibble on your bottom lip anxiously, sighing as you glance over at him. “It’s not that easy, Siri. I’m seeing him after what — four years? I can’t just calm down!”
He rolls his eyes, reaching towards you and thumbing at your lip to save it from your torment. “You’re seeing me after four years.”
You turn to Sirius, and he huffs out a laugh at your deadpan expression. “Well, you never asked me to marry you.”
Sirius wiggles his eyebrows, his lips curving up into a grin. “Marry me?”
“Fuck off, Black.”
James and Lily Potter were holding a meet-up of sorts, and had invited most people in your year at Hogwarts. You were hesitant to go, given your history with James, but Sirius insisted you tag along. You knew he, Remus, and Peter had stayed in touch with James. Rightfully, you ought to have too. But neither of you tried to; maybe you both knew it was better that way.
Sirius simpers, coming to a halt in front of the large black gates of the mansion. He reaches forward and begins to twist the lock, and you instinctively reach over and grab his hand to stop him. He turns to you, confusion twisting his features. “What are you — oh. Oh, sweetheart.”
He softens when he sees the expression on your face. You’re biting your cuticles, and the anxiety in your features is palpable. Sirius sighs and firmly pulls your hand away from your mouth, intertwining your fingers together. “It’s gonna be okay. Just be cordial with him. There’s no bad blood, right?”
“Right,” you mutter, albeit uncertainly.
“But, um…” he sighs, dropping your hand to rake his fingers through his hair. “There’s something I should’ve told you before. But I didn’t wanna freak you out.”
“What?”
The apprehension in your tone causes Sirius to wince. “James and Lily, they… they’ve got a baby.”
There’s a beat of loud silence as the fact sinks in, a mount of uncertainty and hurt settling in the pit of your stomach.
“Oh.”
You’re trying not to show it, but the heartbreak on your face is painfully obvious. Sirius pouts, moving to take your hand again. “Babe, I’m sorry. I should’ve –”
He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, the gates swinging open to reveal a beaming James Potter.
“Pads,” he grins immediately, eyes locking on Sirius as he moves towards him and swoops him into a quick hug.
You take the moment to look James over. He looked exactly like you remembered — messy curls, toned biceps, that movie-star grin. Yet something felt different, in the way he pulled Sirius into a hug without all the raucous fervour he would’ve at 16, how he held him so gently at arm’s length while talking to him. He’d softened, you realised, from the responsibilities of fatherhood and being a husband.
They pull apart a moment later, and his gaze drifts to you. His smile loses a bit of its sunshine, not softening but not quite dimming either. “Y/n, hey.”
There’s a moment of hesitation as he looks at you, but then he seems to decide upon giving you a hug too.
“Hi,” you mutter as he shortens the distance between you, needling his arms under yours to press them to your back. You embrace him in return, and a sudden pang of hurt shoots through your heart at the familiarity of the action.
Perhaps he was remembering it too, from the way he tightened his grip. Both of you were heavy on physical touch, and it was undeniably the best part of your relationship back in Hogwarts — how he’d always have a hand wrapped around your waist, how you’d wake up to cuddles and hugs every morning. You didn’t exactly have anyone to hug anymore, living alone.
So you convince yourself that the reason you hold on to James for slightly longer than necessary was because you craved human touch, not because of… anything else.
Finally, James pulls away, his arms dropping to his sides as he gives you a small smile. You plaster one onto your face too, for his sake. “So,” he starts as he turns around, beginning to lead you and Sirius into the mansion, “how’ve you been, Y/n?”
You can feel Sirius’ gaze burning holes into the side of your head, but choose to ignore him. “I’ve been great, yeah. You?”
James nods. “That’s cool. Yeah, I’ve been good too. Things have been fun, but kind of busy; you know, with work and Lily and the baby…” He seems to realise what he’s said, and clears his throat awkwardly. Oh, of course. The baby.
Sirius is beside you in an instant, arching his eyebrows and nudging your elbow to respond.
“Oh, um… congrats on the baby, by the way.”
James turns around to face you as you walk, and you give him a grin to prove that you’re being genuine — to show him that it didn’t feel like there was a knife being twisted in your gut every time the word baby was brought up.
His eyes soften, and you know he can tell how you’re feeling. But he gives you a grateful smile, and says no more as the three of you come to a stop in front of the house.
“By the way,” James mutters as he pushes the door open, “you guys are like, an hour early. You’re the only ones here.”
You immediately turn around to glower at Sirius for subjecting you to more torture than necessary by bringing you early. But he all but smirks as he follows you in.
Your eyes coast around the mansion, taking it all in. It’s decorated in a minimalist aesthetic, white couches and brown rugs. It was pretty, that was for sure; but you couldn’t help but think how different it was from James’ place in the dorm — posters and stickers all over the walls, boisterously red curtains and LED lights. It used to be so full of life.
Honestly, you might’ve guessed an old couple lived here, if not for the small signs of their life as a family — the pacifier on the dining table, a cradle at the far end of the living room, and the heart-shaped photo frames lining the walls.
James watches you, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips. “You like it?”
He knows you wouldn’t like it, it’s everything you aren’t. Your dorm had been just like his; trying to fit as many vinyls and posters onto that small space next to your bed as possible. There would be fairy lights in every corner and succulents on the nightstand, a dreamcatcher which he’d gifted you hanging right above your bed. You were messy, as a person, and with your love too. You thought he was messy as well; but apparently he’d gotten his shit together already.
“Yeah, it’s simple. Pretty.”
“Honey —“ Lily bustles out the kitchen, a small gasp escaping her lips as she sees you and Sirius. She’s holding a ladle in one hand, and has her other arm wrapped around a baby perched on her waist.
You don’t register it when she kisses your cheek and hugs you, asks you how you’re doing and leads you to sit on the couch. Your gaze is locked on the baby, every second spent staring at him worsening the nauseous feeling at the back of your throat.
You must’ve asked for his name, because the word, “Harry,” registers in your head. This beautiful baby, with Lily’s deep green eyes and James’ luscious curls, was Harry.
Would you have named your baby Harry? Probably not, it was too generic. But it was too late now, to pick out names and choose a less boring aesthetic for a house together.
You had lost your chance back in seventh year, that night when you were laying on James’ bed, limbs tangled together as he raked his hands through your hair with all the love in the world. You’re gonna be my husband one day, you’d whispered, feeling so much affection for him you thought your heart would burst. Yeah, baby, he’d replied with a soft smile. We’re gonna live in a mansion, with our dogs and children and —
Children?
I don’t… I don’t want children. And that’s where it all started going downhill, that’s the moment James’ smile turned upside down and his hand dropped from your hair. It had turned into an argument, a screaming match — and eventually a reason to break up. James couldn't understand much you feared it, the pain of pregnancy and the exhaustion that came with motherhood. And some part of you knew that you weren’t blameless either — calling him awful things and accusing him of not loving you; though love was all he ever gave till the day you told him it was over.
The feeling of Sirius’ nails digging into your palm brings you back to the present, and you see him nodding absentmindedly as Lily rambles about how much trouble Harry’s been, and oh, she’s picked up a hobby of crocheting, and…
You flit your eyes to look at James sitting opposite you, gazing at you with his brows pinched in concern. Your emotions must’ve been obvious on your face, then. But he immediately looks away when Lily calls out to him, holding up Harry for him to carry.
You watch silently as James squeezes into the chair next to his wife, taking the small, lovely baby between his large, calloused hands. He smiles at Harry, looking at him though he was the most precious thing on earth. James’ fingers bunch Harry’s tiny shirt as he brings him close to his face, gently pressing a kiss to his forehead. Lily’s head lolls onto James’ shoulder as he shifts Harry into a comfortable lying position in his arms.
There you have it. The perfect family, with the gorgeous wife and the adorable baby and the man who could’ve been yours if you wanted.
It’s too much for you to take, and Sirius squeezes your hand as you start to shake. Harry coos, and you melt at how James’ face breaks into a sunny beam. He tilts his head to press a soft peck to his wife’s hair, and there’s so much love in that simple gesture that you feel like you could die.
You feel Sirius’ worried gaze on you, your hands trembling and your knee bobbing up and down. The taste of blood from how hard you’re nibbling on your lip is grounding; it brings you back to yourself, who you are, and not who you could’ve been.
“Hey,” he murmurs softly from beside you, but it doesn’t get lodged into your brain. The only thing you feel is your vision of the perfect family blurring, soft streams of regret rolling down your cheek. Sirius makes a small noise of pity from beside you, and James looks up instantly, eyes widening as they lock on you. Lily is fast asleep, baby Harry staring at you with his thumb stuck into his mouth.
“Y/n, you okay?” James asks gently, but you don’t reply, still looking at him with that distraught look on your face. You open your mouth, but you don’t seem to have the vocabulary to express the heartache you felt right that moment. It felt strangely like grief; like you were mourning for the version of yourself you never got to meet, for the version of James who didn’t have the chance to be yours.
James' mouth twists downwards in a frown as he stands up and steps closer towards you. It’s like an alarm is set off in your head, and you immediately jolt back to the present, sucking in a deep breath.
Your legs act of their own accord as you stand up, Sirius’s hand falling limp on the couch as he looks up at you in surprise. You gulp down the lump in your throat and fiercely brush the tears away, James coming to a halt in front of you. “Y/n, baby —“
“I’m not your baby.”
James slaps a hand to his mouth, eyes as wide as Harry’s now. “Fuck, no, it — it just came out. I didn’t mean to. Shit, you’re crying.”
“I’m okay,” you warble. James opens his mouth to retort but you don’t let him, knowing that the longer you spent here, the more the gaping hole in your chest would grow. You couldn’t bear it anymore, watching James with his wife and wishing it was you instead. The worst part was that it was all your fault, your stupidity and your rejection.
“I’m fine, really. I…I’m gonna go now, it was nice meeting you. Convey my love to Remus, Peter and the girls.” You pick up your bag, moving to the front door with a befuddled James tracking your movements.
“Y/n —“
“Bye, James,” you call out halfheartedly as you slip into your shoes. He comes to stand at the door, rocking Harry from side to side. He looks almost disappointed as you make to leave.
“I’m sorry.”
You look up, surprised. “It’s not your fault.”
James’ lips pursed together with guilt, seeming like he wants to say something as he opens and closes his mouth. He finally sighs, “It’s not your fault either.
It was startling, how he still knew just the right thing to say — he always had. The regret that had been clogging up your heart for years was drained out upon hearing that one sentence. James didn’t hold the utter failure of your relationship against you, and that was enough. If you couldn’t have his love, at least you had his forgiveness.
You give him a half smile and nod, turning around to leave. You’d go back to yours, more of a house than a home. But at least no one but yourself could hurt you there, there was no one to turn away and no hearts to break. No one to love.
“Hey.”
You spin back around to face the door, heart stopping upon seeing the moistness in his eyes. You hear the scratchiness in his throat as he sucks in a deep breath.
“James…”
“No, don’t — don’t say anything. I just wanted to tell you, um…” he defeatedly runs a hand through his hair and exhales shakily. “I hope we worked out, you know, in another life.”
That catches you off guard, your heart involuntarily squeezing in your chest. James looks almost embarrassed as he says it, but you see the vulnerability in his eyes. He was right — maybe there was some planet on which you were less of a coward, another world where he could put a ring on your finger. He’d been yours to lose in this life, perhaps he was yours to love in another.
You clear your throat, feeling nausea brimming in the pits of your gut. “Yeah, I… I hope so too.”
You spare yourself one last glance at him before turning towards the exit, praying he didn’t see the tears dribbling down your cheeks.
You squeeze your eyes shut and will yourself to trudge forward, before he can call out to you and break your heart all over again.
In a few long strides, you’re out the gates; out of James’ life again.
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mallowsweetmiri · 2 months ago
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Me just minding my business trying to do well in my classes: 👩🏼‍🦯
The 600k word Jegulus fanfic in my browser: 👹
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loonyloopylupin96 · 7 days ago
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apparently 1% of my WIP draft is 'chocolate cake'
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this is out of 21,000 words
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yupthisisshe · 6 months ago
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James Potter x Reader: Your Own Little Corner of the World
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Warnings: none explicitly but small spaces are implied (“reader” likes them though); “not canon James” but be fr there is no canon for Marauders; we do whatever the bloody hell we want with them :D
A/N: fluffffffff aaaaaa; I swear fluff and sarcasm flow out of my veins and into every story I write
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You have a bed that lays about a foot -give or take- off the ground. Not quite lofted, but enough that you can crawl underneath and lay there without being squished. Sometimes you like to go under there and just lay there, usually in silence, sometimes you would read or draw or write. It was like a little hideaway spot from the rest of the world. You felt enclosed, but not trapped. It felt safe. Sometimes you even fell asleep there, which to your significant other, made no sense. Speaking of your significant other and your safe space, it was them who found you in that spot when you had dozed off from the rest of the world.
“Love? Lovey are you in here?”
You roused from your sleep, still a bit dazed.
“James?” You began to say something else but were interrupted by your own voice. “Ow!”
“Darlin’?” James began, searching and confusion juxtaposed in his voice. He knelt onto to the ground to look under the bed where he found you. “What are you doing under your bed?”
“Forming a bump on my head, apparently.” You say regretfully, having hit your head when you woke up. You had tried to sit up in search of James, forgetting -in your dozy state- that you were under the bed still.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” you smile lopsidedly. “Besides, I’ve had worse.” The two of you share a smile and James sighs out a laugh. He crawls under the bed to join you and lays beside you. When his face gets close enough to yours, he cups your cheek and kisses you softly.
“You do know that typically people sleep ON the bed right? Like, on top of it?” He questions jokingly.
“Well I’m not typical,” you reply in a non-serious voice. “And besides, I don’t always like to be on top,” you smirk.
“Oh, I know,” James smirks back, smutty acknowledgement of your lewd insinuation trickling through his tone. He giggles, making you giggle as well, and he presses a kiss to your cheek.
“Sometimes I just lay under here. To decompress or relax, and kind of just hide away from it all. It’s nice in a way. Like my own little corner of the world,” you tell James in response to his previous inquiry. He smiles at you and asks softly,
“Can I stay?”
“Yeah,” you smile, “yeah you can stay. I think I’d like that.”
He pulls you close to his chest and holds you, adding a feeling of warmth to your little corner of the world.
“Don’t worry darlin’, I’ll always ask before entering. We all need our own private little corner of the world sometimes. And I’m glad you’re willing to let me join yours sometimes.”
“I love you, Jamie,” you say into his chest, and he can tell you really mean it.
“And I love you sweetheart.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, and the two of you relax in your loving silence. You and your boyfriend, in your own little corner of the world.
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thelyinggrapevine · 7 months ago
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Regulus, not caring what his mother thinks anymore: hey guys
Barty: what the fuck
Regulus: what
Evan: you have glasses???
Sirius: yeah I second that, what the fuck Reg
Regulus: I've literally been in the same house as you for fifteen years, how did you not know Sirius
Remus: in all fairness, you do always say that you're in your room all the time if you can help it
Regulus: yeah I guess
Pandora: well, I think you look nice
Regulus: thank you, Dora
Barty, snatching the glasses off of Regulus' face: holy shit dude *steals James' glasses* HOW ARE YOU BLINDER THAN JAMES WHAT THE FUCK?
Sirius: WHAT
Lily, laughing her ass off: James still smacks into things with them on
Regulus: guys please
Peter, oblivious: dude, you're as blind as a bat holy crap
Barty, Remus, and Lily, who were the first to find out: Pffft—
Regulus, glaring at them: shut your fucking mouth
James: what is going on, I can't see shit
Regulus, sighing: fucking me neither, I've just been guessing from the color of their clothes
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ellecdc · 9 months ago
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What about the kids (CBBH) seeing the ‘mudblood’ scar on Vix arm for the first time, and then the kids, specially Draco, trying to comfort her.
James and Sirius feeling guilty again because (James) “abandoned” her (no he didn’t) and (Sirius) cause he couldn’t protect her
Thank you so much, feel free to ignore it if you want to, but thank you anyway
Take care and don’t forget to drink water❤️
Ps: I love everything you write, thank you so much for providing us those precious chapters
*Takes a big ol' sip of water* *Cracks knuckles* *types furiously*
I LOVE these kinds of requests...I love diving deeper into the relationships and the histories further than what CBBH covered, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this! 🫶
CBBH Sirius Black x Vix!reader CW: hurt/comfort, discussions of war, PTSD, trauma, guilt, reference to death of a loved one, children, spoiler alerts if you haven't finished CBBH
The Mind Forgets but the Heart Doesn't
It had been a really trying week. 
Percy and the Twins had gotten into it during class one day this week at Potter Manor, and though James and Molly did what they could to placate the situation when it happened, it seemed to bleed out into the other kids as well.
Harry and Draco didn’t seem to be able to agree on anything at all anymore, Jasmine felt the need to play mediator to their squabbles which just aggravated everyone further, and Aurora was far too sensitive for her own good and took everything anyone said personally.
The adults didn’t seem to be fairing much better either.
You and Lily were expecting at the same time. It was very funny when Lily & James went to announce that they were expecting only to have Y/N & Sirius laugh and say ‘same’. Remus never stopped joking that the family would finally have a ‘set of twins’. 
Lily stopped taking the jokes so well as her pregnancy progressed, however.
“This is absolutely, without a doubt, the last one Potter!” She screeched as she excused herself from the dinner table for the sixth time to pee.
You were such a trooper, but Sirius knew that this pregnancy was taking far more out of you both emotionally and physically than your last one had.
The part that hurt (everyone) the most, was that your brain still associated pain and discomfort with your trauma from the war, and the wounds felt far more fresh lately than they had in a long time.
This left both James and Sirius feeling horribly guilty – James for having left you on the battlefield, and Sirius both for being the cause of your current discomfort and for the months during the war that he spent wallowing when he should have been fighting for you.
Sirius would wake up in the middle of the night and reach for you to find the bed empty. He’d go to check both Aurora and Draco’s room’s first before moving on to the rest of the house.
One particularly upsetting night he found you hiding in the shower after you had a distressing and disturbingly realistic nightmare.
But usually, he found you in the kitchens.
“What are you doing up, my love?” He spoke quietly into the room.
You must have heard him coming because you never even turned your head from where you were sitting; you just offered him a quiet hum in response as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and nuzzled his face into your neck.
His hands would migrate lower to what was usually the reason for your midnight wanders.
“Little one hungry?”
You were quiet for a moment, clearly far away from Potter Manor, before you responded.
“There were times I was only ever able to eat at night... when someone could sneak something to me or I could sneak to the kitchens. But sometimes, now, I wake up a little hungry – and my heart tells me that this is going to be my only chance, and I have to make it count. I tell myself it’s not true but... the anxiety doesn’t go away until I do something about it.”
Sure enough, in front of you on the table was a half-eaten granola bar; evidence of your late-night forage for food.
“What was it that Lily said about those muggle dementia patients?” Sirius asked you as he rubbed up and down your arms.
“The mind forgets but the heart doesn’t.” You responded quietly.
Sirius hummed into your hair as he pressed his lips to the top of your head.
“You’ve done so much work, love. But I don’t think you’ll ever be able to convince your heart to let it go – not fully.”
You sighed miserably, suddenly sounding very close to tears.
“Please be patient with yourself.” He pleaded.
“I’m trying.” You whispered wetly.
“I know, baby. I know.”
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This was why the following morning at the breakfast table when Harry – seemingly out of nowhere – asked what a “mudblood” was, the room fell painfully silent.
The adults all seemed to share horrified glances before Regulus spoke up.
“Where did you hear that word, Harry?”
Harry, slightly ashamed now that he seemed to have sucked the air out of the room, looked at you and motioned towards your arm.
Sure enough, as you had reached across the table to pass Remus the plate of bacon, your sleeve had ridden up and your scar was on full display.
Why’d we teach these ankle biters to read? Sirius wondered to himself.
To Sirius’ absolute horror, you seemed to completely shut down. You hastily pulled your sleeve down and moved your arms into your lap, and your eyes turned foggy. 
“Please don’t occlude baby, stay with us.” Sirius begged quietly as he began to rub your arm.
“Haz, when you and Draco were very little, there was a war – do you remember me and daddy telling you about it?” Lily started cautiously.
“Uh huh, when the bad guy hated people who were different and stole Auntie Vix?”
James grimaced before confirming. “Yes, and how Uncle Reggie and Draco’s mummy Narcissa helped her escape and then defeat the bad guy.” 
“Well, the bad guy and his friends did hate people who were different than them. Mostly, they hated non-magical people,” Lily continued.
“Called muggles.” Harry interjected proudly.
“Right, he hated muggles. And he hated muggle-born witches and wizards as well.” James finished.
“But...mummy and Aunt Lily are muggle-born...” Draco added quietly from his place.
James nodded. “That’s right. And because they hated them, they made up a bad word to call muggle-born’s.”
“That’s what mudblood is, Harry. It’s a bad word to call a muggle-born witch or wizard.” Regulus spoke softly.
Jasmine gasped. “Mum! Did Harry say a bad word!?”
“I was only asking a question!” Harry screeched in his own defence.
“But... why is the bad word on your arm?” Draco asked quietly, looking at you.
Your son addressing you directly seemed to pull you out of yourself a little as you offered him a sad smile. “Well, when the bad guy stole me, I wouldn’t tell him what they wanted to know.”
“What did the bad guy want to know?” Jasmine asked curiously. 
Harry elbowed his sister for interrupting, which earned him a whack on the head in return, which caused Remus to switch seats with his niece in an effort to keep the peace.
“They wanted to know where your mummy and daddy and Harry were. They also wanted to know where Pads and Moony and everyone else in the Order were.” 
“Like the Weasley’s!?” Harry asked in horror, as news of your best friend potentially being on some maniac’s hitlist would do to an almost nine-year-old, even though said maniac was already after him and his entire family.
“But you wouldn’t tell them.” Jasmine stated solemnly.
You nodded at your niece. “That’s right.”
“But why was my mum and Uncle Reggie there?” Draco asked. 
You and Sirius both grimaced as you looked to Regulus, whose jaw seemed more tense than usual. 
“Our family comes from a long line of very bad people, Draco. The Black’s...mine and your dad’s family, as well as your mums, were not kind to people who were different from them. They supported the bad guy during the war, I-”
“But dad didn’t support the bad guy...and he’s a Black.” Draco interrupted as he turned to look at his father pleadingly.
Sirius smiled softly at the boy. “Yes, but you see, Draco, I had friends like Uncle Prongs and Uncle Moony, and your mum here, who taught me that it was okay to be different. And Uncle Prongs’ family also gave me a place to go when I no longer agreed or felt safe with my family. Uncle Reggie didn’t have the same kind of friends.” 
“Your friends were bad guys?” Harry asked plainly.
“Yes.” Regulus answered just as plainly. 
“So...my family was...bad?” Draco asked quietly, looking between you, Sirius, and Regulus.
“Not all of them baby, not Uncle Reggie, and not your mum.” You tried to placate, but Draco didn’t bite.
“But they were there! Supporting the bad guy! That makes them bad!” He insisted.
“No, it made us cowards.” Regulus corrected the boy. “I was too afraid to ask your dad or his friends for help, even though I knew that Sirius would take me in if I asked him to. And your mum did what was expected of her, Draco. Your mum believed marrying your dad and having you was the right thing to do.”
“Draco,” you said quietly as the boy tried to fight back tears. “If your mum and Uncle Reggie hadn’t been there, I would not be alive today. And quite frankly, I think that could be the same for a lot of us in this room. They saved us, baby. Your mummy saved you. There’s nothing bad about that.”
Draco still seemed perturbed by this but looked back down to your now hidden scar.
“But someone...hurt you? With that word? Was it my family?”
You shared a look with Sirius who offered you a small nod before you answered. “It was. It was your aunt...your mum’s sister.”
Draco seemed distraught at the news; his mouth turned down miserably and his eyes filled with tears. “My family was bad.”
“Dad, was my family bad!?” Harry asked severely. 
“Haz, hang on, okay bubs?” James asked quietly. 
“That’s right Draco, your family was bad.” You said.
Every head – child and adult alike – whipped to face you.
“They were bad people...but they’re not anymore. Your family is the people in this room, and your mum who died protecting you. You have Uncle Reggie, who was so brave to save me and to turn against the bad guy he was supposed to be loyal to. You have Uncle Moony, who despite doing very hard things every month, doesn’t ask anything of anyone and gives so much of himself to the people he loves. And you have Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily, who helped us raise you when daddy and I had no idea what we were doing. And you have Haz, and Jazzy, and Rory and two new siblings coming soon. That’s your family, Draco, and they’re not bad at all.”
Draco scanned the room of all the people he loved the most as a few tears fell, and Sirius was quick to catch them with his finger from his place beside him. 
“I’m sorry the bad guys hurt you, mummy. I wish they hadn’t.” He offered finally.
“Oh! I know!” Aurora piped up out of nowhere (Sirius actually sort of forgot his own daughter was present at the breakfast table) and quickly stood from her seat to hurry away. 
Before the adults had time to ponder where the child had gone, she reappeared beside her mum with the first aid kit from one of the loos and her toy Mediwitch Kit. 
“Okay, mummy. Show Healer Ro where it hurts.” She demanded you in her most authoritative tone, which still sounded far too much like Alvin the Chipmunk to be taken at all seriously.
Sirius grinned down at his girl and pulled her up into his lap (for better access, of course) as you pulled your sleeve up on your arm to expose your scar.
Aurora tapped a fake wand to the injury and held a stethoscope to her ear. “It sounds good mummy; means you’ll be fine.”
“Oh, good.” You sighed in faux relief, failing to bite back the proud smile adorning your face.
“Yup, now just needs plasters. I have some golden snitches, unicorns, or bowtruckles, mummy. Which would you like?”
“I think she ought to have some of each, Ro.” Harry interjected from across the room.
“Quite right, Haz. Healer Ro, could you use some assistance with the plasters?” Sirius asked like a spokesman on a game show.
“Yes sir!” She answered, and each kid took turns applying plasters to your scar and kissing it better.
“Looks better already!” Jasmine cheered after their work was complete.
“Hmmmm...I don’t know...” Sirius said skeptically. “Could use a few more kisses I think.” Before he attacked you with kisses, and the kids followed in suit shortly after.
@ttulipwritezz
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