#Managing ME/CFS Symptoms

[compassionmattersmost]

Optimizing Sleep for ME/CFS: Strategies for Restorative Rest and Well-being

Improving Sleep Quality for Individuals with ME/CFS Living with ME/CFS presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to achieving restorative sleep. Good sleep hygiene is essential for managing symptoms and enhancing overall well-being. Here, we explore various strategies to improve sleep quality for those with ME/CFS, including maintaining proper sleep hygiene, maximizing deep sleep,…

[tele-mesmerism]

when i got my diagnoses the cfs dx felt so secondary and less of a big deal than fibro but i wish theyd put emphasis on how much you can destroy your body permanently. but ofc they wouldnt have said that bc they were still teaching GET at the time, they were recommending treatment that wouldve damaged my body so much

[sirfrogsworth]

So... when conservative dorks called me a low T, soyboy cuck, it turns out they were accurately diagnosing me.

When you have CFS and Narcolepsy fighting each other inside your body, it is very hard to detect new symptoms from alternate maladies. But I've been in bed with a huge slump for the past 8 weeks and this just seemed much more intense and my brain has been way foggier than my normal CFS amount.

So on a whim, I asked my doctor to test my testosterone. It seems it has dipped quite low. And suddenly a lot of the symptoms I've been feeling make lot more sense. The poor sleep. The poor temperature regulation that was actually hot flashes. The exhaustion and brain fog.

It looks like I'm going to be needing some gender affirming care. But for me it will be covered by insurance and in no way threatened by bigotry. But hopefully my injections will help me feel good enough to fight for *everyone* to have continued access to this.

I'm scared and anxious. I worried about why this happened. I'm worried about side effects. The last time I tried testosterone was in my 20s and I just had constant boners. I'm too old and too tired to be dealing with that. Hopefully it will just be a normal amount of boners now that I am in my 40s.

I'm trying to manage my expectations. New medicines can be helpful but they can also introduce new problems and complications. But hopefully I will start feeling a lot better as I get treatment.

[mrs-snape5984]

“There is a light and it never goes out…”

“Take me out tonight. Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care, I don’t care, I don’t care…” (“There’s a light that never goes out” by The Smiths)

Overstimulation. Disorientation. Light sensitivity. Chronic pain. Fatigue. These are only a few of those symptoms, which are torturing me day in and day out for the past two years, already. Due to them, caused by a disease, that is called “Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome” (ME/CFS), I’m currently forced to live a life within the strict confines of my dark and silent room, mostly enduring my daily existence in solitude.

I miss being a part of this world….and fuck, I miss being a part of other people’s lives! Living like this makes me feel like an old piece of furniture, which has been stored away in a hidden chamber…not worthy enough to be used or seen by anyone, and yet still not bad enough to be discarded.

Some months ago, two wonderful people started taking me out to see their worlds by sending me pictures and videos of the places, they’re heading to. Thanks to them, I’m allowed to get a glimpse of places, I’ve always dreamed of being able to explore them on my own.

Furthermore, something else became apparent whenever one of these precious gems of human nature took me with them: I wasn’t just carried around in their phones, but they carried me in their hearts. This realisation blew my mind! It’s not only me, who’s clinging to them as if they’re my lifelines…no, this little German mess, that I am, became important to these people, too! Words can’t express how grateful I am for our connections…and that I was also lucky enough to find true love in this bond (I love you, R. 🖤).

One of those amazing people is my beloved sister in Christ @vulnus-sanare, who will soon come to visit me in my small world. Finally, I’ll be the one, who can show her the beauty of the tiniest things in my environment…always surrounded by the securing gloominess of the nights. Magda, my heart, I’m going to introduce you to the stars above my town, to the soothing sounds of the Moselle River right next to my house and I hope, we will manage to experience the mesmerising dance of the bats in the vineyards, if we take my wheelchair with us. I can’t wait to have you here and pull you into the tightest of all embraces, sweetie!

I’ve commissioned my dear friend @snake-queen7 to create this breathtaking piece of art of Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules on a nocturnal walk through the vineyards behind my house. Before I caught ME/CFS, I used to enjoy these nightly strolls in order to watch the bats with my children, so I sent her a photo of the exact spot, I want to share with Magda. Since it was Severus and Snapedom, which brought us together, it’s only fair to bring our beloved dungeon bat to this special place as well.

My friend, I’m more than happy with the outcome of your artwork and it’s a pleasure to share it with all those lovely people of our Snapedom. Please take my apologies for taking so long to write this post, but I wanted to honour your work the way, it deserves to be honoured. For this reason, I had to wait patiently for a moment, when my brain wouldn’t refuse me to do its job (brain fog is such a pain in the ass!). Thank you for everything, Natalia! 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[samreich]

Dad and brother dropping me off after our road trip was cut short due to my testing positive for COVID.

Miraculously, even though I contracted it before we took off (Elaine got it too), they were both fine.

After testing positive with symptoms for 16 days, I seem to be on the other side of it, and not the worse for wear as far as long-COVID symptoms are concerned.

That said, I have an entirely different relationship to my body now, and am constantly battling inflammation anyway.

As a good friend of mine with CFS says, chronic illness changes your behavior so much, you never again know if you're "healed" or still "managing."

[cripplecharacters]

Hi there! I'm working on a modern supernatural story, and I've got a side character (the main character's best friend) who deals with chronic fatigue syndrome. He's a sweet, goofy, confident guy, and he has friends who are happy to change plans to accommodate him when he has flare-ups. They'll also help him out with chores or errands when he needs, with his consent. Naturally he gets bummed about his condition from time to time, but he's accepted that it's how he lives and with the help of therapy he's found ways to manage it. He also has plenty of hobbies and interests and grievances outside of his condition.

My question is this: I have a side-plot where the characters learn that a vampire has been feeding off him for weeks without his knowing, most likely using some kind of hypnotism. I'm wondering if the effects of consistent blood loss - fatigue, headaches, dizziness, etc - could reasonably be chalked up to a particularly bad CFS flare-up. Or would that be something where it's more likely he would notice the difference in severity of his symptoms and realize something else was wrong? Assuming the vampire can heal up any bite marks he leaves.

For the sake of clarity, he's had CFS most of his life and I'm taking care to avoid implying that it has anything to do with the vampire attacks. I'm just wondering if his symptoms would help hide the feedings or not.

Thank you!

The short answer: absolutely yes, this seems like it could be chalked up to a bad flare-up.

The long answer: I'm going to use the CDC's description of CFS/ME to lay out pretty exactly why it would work for both you and anyone wondering why exactly it would work.

A list of symptoms from the CDC has 3 core and 2 that you only need 1 out of 2 symptoms to have CFS.

Core: Lowered ability to do usual activities due to fatigue [that is not relieved by sleep/rest] that wouldn't have been an issue before illness

Core: Post-exertional malaise (PEM), which is a worsening of symptoms after physical or mental activity that wouldn't have been an issue before illness. Often described as a 'crash' and can include feeling dizzy, having difficulty thinking, headaches, or feeling ill. It can take days, months, or longer to recover from a crash and it's hard to predict how long a crash will last or what will cause it.

Core: Sleeping problesms; even a full night's sleep doesn't help symptoms much and might not help at all. Might have trouble falling or staying asleep.

Other: Problems with thinking and memory, like 'brain fog' or slowed thinking or trouble remembering things or paying attention.

Other: Orthostatic intolerance, meaning that symptoms can get worse while standing up. This can make people feel lightheaded, dizzy, weak or even faint.

I've bolded the symptoms on the list that match your stated symptoms of vampiric blood loss: "fatigue, headaches, dizziness, etc." and as you can see they match up pretty exactly!

Your character could perhaps do something that required a decent amount of mental or physical extertion, and perhaps it did or didn't cause a crash but at around the same time the vampire could have started to feed off of him. This might seem to prolong the 'crash' and your character might not think twice about it, just realize that they're feeling pretty miserable in a way not unknown to them.

I hope this helped!

PS, I really enjoy modern supernatural stories, and if you ever feel like sharing it I'd love to read this.

— Mod Sparrow

[iplaywithstring]

What it can be like to live with mild ME/CFS (individual experiences will vary)

chronic fatigue - this one may seem obvious but remember that fatigue isn't the same as tiredness. It's heavy, bone deep, and makes even simple tasks difficult

muscle weakness - going up stairs, lifting a glass of water and even speaking can be difficult. Sometimes I can't open the fridge.

Dysautonomia - my autonomic nervous system is messed up. It means low blood pressure, dizzy spells, poor temperature regulation, and orhtostatic intolerance (which leads to horrible nausea)

Brain fog - words disappear from my vocabulary. I forget what I was talking about in the middle of a sentence. I can't follow a conversation or a tv show. Reading comprehension is non-existent (all of this is great while being a master's student).

Short term memory issues - possibly related to brain fog, but a separate thing because I don't realize the memory issues are happening until someone points it out. Great when my kid tells me something and not only do I forget the information, but have no memory of having the conversation.

Flu-like symptoms - chills, nausea, weakness, muscle and joint aches. Do I have a virus or did I do too much? Who knows. Constant fear I'm going to be Actually Sick and not realize it because I always just assume it's a bad day.

Inability to work full time - I tried this, it did not go well, even with a pretty low activity job. I am not sure if I'll ever be able to work full time because mental activity has the same effects as physical activity.

Unrefreshing sleep - It doesn't matter if I sleep for 3 hours or 8, I'll likely feel the same when I wake up. Monitoring my heart rate variability (HRV, a good measure of energy levels taking into account CNS function) has shown that sometimes I even have less energy when I wake up. Joy.

So maybe this is a bit of a rant, but it's also a reminder that even a mild form of this illness (I'm so lucky to be mild!) is life-altering and has an effect on pretty much every thing I do.

I have privilege - thanks to my partner we are financially stable if I don't work, I have access to medical care and if I'm unable to take care of things, I have support. I am happy and I have been able to create a life that feels good and fulfilling even while I manage my symptoms.

I got sick in 2010, after a viral infection - no idea what virus but I had a pretty high fever and felt miserable for a few days. Not sick enough to go to the hospital, but enough that I knew I was sick. It's moving into winter in the northern hemisphere, where viral infections tend to rise.

Take care of yourself and the people around you. Get your covid and seasonal flu vaccines. Stay home if you're sick, wear a mask in public. I don't want you to get sick like I am.

[ashleighneville]

I am completely overreacting I think the main problem is that it is more common for me to do a drill without getting feedback and so I can only self assess so much and I get like there's so many people you can only do so much but everybody seems to get at least something and I don't known if they're scared to correct me because they don't know how much is my cfs/me and I cry super duper easily like the moment I get frustrated so I come across as really emotionally delicate (which fair but I can handle constructive criticism FFS) or of they just don't notice me or what but I can't improve if I don't get feedback and if I'm not allowed to stretch myself sometimes

I think it also doesn't help that if I do do stamina (which I confess I am often conveniently half an hour late which means I miss it.) i have to go in with the beginners because I'm really slow and I can't do as much because you know I have chronic fatigue syndrome. So I'm already positioned in this weird in between space

Synchro is pissing me off

[chronic-melon]

Having ME/CFS around Yule looks like:

• Pushing WAY past your limits to spend time with family and friends

• Leaning over to wrap gifts and coming away with sore hands, legs, back…

• Overdoing it trying to make the perfect meal

• Disappointing family when you can’t make it to every gathering or event

• Being unprepared for unexpected hardships or tragedy during the season, like family members in hospitals or a bill that will be hard to pay

• Needing to rest for several days after a gathering and likely flaring severely

• Wanting to do things with the time off but not having the energy, or sometimes even the interest

• Dealing with symptoms from eating foods outside your normal diet… and generally struggling with new textures or flavors

• Needing more help with things like washing extra dishes or handling more packages than usual, even taking out the trash more often

• Managing animals who are dysregulated from unfamiliar people, decorations, smells, and sounds

• Struggling with bright lights and loud noises, leaving gatherings with a headache

• Falling asleep when you’re sitting in the living room talking to your family (yes this happened to me)

• Leaving events early

• Misunderstanding directions or jokes due to brain fog (and in my case autism) but people not taking the time to explain, or getting ignored because there are too many people and it’s too loud

• Not giving the proper reaction to a gift because of symptoms bothering you, not being able to mask pain or fatigue and appearing ungrateful or even upset (also autism)

• The deep-seated fear of catching an infection brought by another guest, but dreading the eye roll and comments from disapproving family

• Needing to park further away from stores or restaurants due to the *hustle and bustle*

If you have more to add, please list it. It doesn’t have to be ME, it can be anything you struggle with as a disabled person around the holiday season.

[myalgicencephalomyelitiscfstom]

From The #MEAction Network

Wondering about the terms PEM or pacing? Have you seen #StopRestPace and were curious as to what it referenced? Maybe you have been in our community a long time and want to save some easy ways to explain these concepts to others. Perhaps you have seen pacing misused and want to help clear that up. We hope this post helps!

#StopRestPace is a campaign created by #MEAction to help our community spread the word to those who were experiencing PEM after COVID-19 to rest and pace their activity.

What is PEM? Post-exertional malaise (PEM) is the cardinal symptom of ME/CFS. PEM is a flare of symptoms and/or the appearance of new symptoms after exertion, often presenting 24 hours after the triggering event. Physical activity, cognitive overexertion, and sensory overload can all trigger PEM.

Sometimes exertion is misunderstood as exercise. Exercise is simply one form of exertion. Exertion is defined here as anything that stresses or strains the system. Exertion can be physical, orthostatic, sensory, cognitive, emotional, or environmental. No trigger can be controlled all of the time. The goal of pacing is to MINIMIZE post-exertional malaise rather than eliminate it.

Pacing is a self-management strategy for activity. Patients who pace well are active when able and rest when tired. Proper pacing involves building up awareness of the levels of daily activity that do not trigger relapse of symptoms through PEM. While this sounds simple, it is incredibly difficult. Activity management in severe patients can be very challenging since even activities like eating or brushing teeth may lead to a crash. Pacing advice may not always be useful in this population.

#MEAction offers three pacing guides - adult, pediatric, and clinician - on our site. Our pediatric guide was developed in conjunction with Long Covid families. Our clinician's guide was developed with Patient-Led Research. https://www.meaction.net/resource/pacing-and-management-guide

[howlsofbloodhounds]

So I was doing some looking around and researching into possible real life equivalents for Color’s physical condition, such as his fragility to the point of possible death if he overexerts his abilities.

Color’s condition—which is characterized by physical fragility, fatigue, and the potential for severe physical deterioration—has similarities to several real-life conditions that affect energy levels, muscle strength, and overall physical integrity such as:

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) / Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)

Symptoms: Extreme fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest, muscle and joint pain, cognitive difficulties, and post-exertional malaise (worsening of symptoms after physical or mental exertion).

Like Color, individuals with CFS/ME have limited energy reserves and can experience significant physical and cognitive fatigue from overexertion. They need to carefully manage their activity levels to avoid severe consequences.

Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone Disease)

Symptoms: Fragile bones that break easily, muscle weakness, and fatigue.

The physical fragility and risk of cracking or breaking with exertion in Color's body can be likened to the bone fragility in individuals with osteogenesis imperfecta. Managing physical stress and avoiding overexertion is crucial.

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS)

Symptoms: Hypermobile joints, skin that bruises easily, chronic pain, and fatigue.

The combination of fragility, easy bruising or tearing (cracking in Color’s case), and chronic fatigue can parallel the experiences of those with EDS, where physical stress can lead to significant issues.

Like individuals with CFS/ME, Color would need to pace his activities, taking frequent breaks and avoiding overexertion to prevent severe fatigue and physical damage. He might need to prioritize his activities, focusing on essential tasks and avoiding unnecessary exertion.

Similar to those with brittle bone disease, Color would need to avoid situations that could physically stress his body and lead to cracking or dusting.

He might use supportive devices or strategies to minimize physical strain, such as ergonomic tools for photography or mobility aids for traveling.

Techniques to manage chronic pain and discomfort, which could include medication, physical therapy, or other interventions. Ensuring adequate nutrition to support his body’s needs and potentially mitigate some of the fatigue and physical issues.

Developing coping mechanisms to handle the emotional stress of his physical condition, possibly through therapy or support groups. Relying on friends like Killer, Epic, Delta, and Beta for emotional support and understanding during difficult times.

Some supportive devices or strategies Color might make use of at his leisure, particularly with matters such as traveling and hiking, he could use things like orthopedic supports, mobility aids, things for pain management, adaptive equipment, assistive technology and more.

He could use braces and splints to support unstable joints and prevent injuries, and/or compression garments to help with joint stability and reduce pain.

Mobility aids such as walking poles or trekking poles to provide stability and reduce impact on joints during hiking. (His walking poles are definitely covered in stickers and drawings from all his friends.)

He could use portable heat and cold packs to help manage pain and inflammation as well as portable massager to relieve muscle tension and pain.

Adaptive equipment such as ergonomic backpacks designed to reduce strain and distribute weight evenly. Adjustable hiking sticks for customization based on height and terrain.

Voice-Activated apps and devices for navigation and reducing the need for physical interaction with devices. Smartphone apps for tracking symptoms, medication, and managing energy levels.

Stress- relief tools like stress balls, fidget toys, or calming apps to help manage PTSD symptoms or overstimulation.

Personal comfort items or sensory aids that provide emotional support during travel or hiking, such as all the evidence and trinkets of his loved ones back home or spiritual/religious items or symbols. Techniques and tools for managing fatigue, like scheduled rest breaks and planning shorter, manageable hikes.

Travel planning apps to help with organizing trips, finding accessible accommodations, and managing health needs.

(And of course this isn’t supposed to be me diagnosing color with anything, or saying what he does or doesn’t have. Mostly just to take some things this character experiences and link it to some real life equivalents, that could potentially help better understand him and what he deals with.)

[compassionmattersmost]

Managing Post-Exertional Malaise: Finding Balance and Peace in Life with ME/CFS

A Gentle Reflection on Pacing, Rest, and Navigating the Challenges of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome There are days when the body speaks softly, a whisper of weariness that hints at the storm ahead. And though we move carefully, mindful of each step, there are moments when the smallest effort—a turn of the mind, a spark of emotion—awakens something deeper. This is the dance with post-exertional…

[covid-safer-hotties]

Reference saved in our archive

I know some of y'all out there are all about the diagnostic/theraputic similarities between Long Covid and other autonomic disorders. Here's a preprint ya might find interesting.

Abstract Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) and Long COVID are persistent multi-system illnesses affecting many patients. With no known effective FDA-approved treatments for either condition, patient-reported outcomes of treatments are invaluable for guiding management strategies in patient care and generating new avenues for research. Here, we present the results of an ME/CFS and Long COVID treatment survey with responses from 3,925 patients. We assessed the experiences of these patients with more than 150 treatments, as well as their demographics, symptoms, and comorbidities. Patients with each condition who participated in the study shared similar symptom profiles, including all the core symptoms of ME/CFS, e.g., 89.7% of ME/CFS and 79.4% of Long COVID reported post-exertional malaise (PEM). Treatments with the greatest perceived benefits were identified, which had varied effects on different core symptoms. In addition, treatment responses were significantly correlated (R² = 0.68) between the two patient groups. Patient subgroups with distinct profiles of symptoms and comorbidities showed varied responses to treatments, e.g., a POTS-dominant cluster benefiting from autonomic modulators and a cognitive-dysfunction cluster from CNS stimulants. This study underscores the symptomatic and therapeutic similarities between ME/CFS and Long COVID and highlights the commonalities and nuanced complexities of infection-associated chronic diseases and related conditions. Insights from patient-reported experiences, in the absence of approved treatments, provide urgently needed real-world evidence for targeted therapies in patient care and for developing future clinical trials.

(Disclaimer: The findings presented in this paper are based on patient-reported information and are intended for research purposes only. They should not be interpreted as medical advice. Patients are advised to consult their healthcare provider before initiating or altering any treatment.)

[sirfrogsworth]

I am exhausted.

It's hard to express how much stress just floors me.

And learning I have a serious medical issue that will require taking hormones for the rest of my days is quite stressful.

But perhaps if this works I will be able to tolerate stress a little better. It's really hard to tell what symptoms are CFS and narcolepsy and which are the low testosterone. They all kind of mix together I think. My brain fog has definitely been much worse lately. Katrina and I like to send each other little audio messages and I sent one the other day that was 10 minutes. And 5 of those minutes were just long pauses of me trying to finish a sentence. And I was cursing at myself because I knew roughly what I wanted to say but the words just would not come out of my mouth. And I rarely curse when I'm speaking. Which means I must have been super duper frustrated.

I would like to thank all of the trans folks who have been so wonderful as I have been trying to figure all of this out. They have been sharing their experiences, giving needle advice, and just comforting me about the possible side effects and benefits. I keep thinking if I was a transphobic dipshit how alone I would have been in this. I was just showered with kindness and support and I am so grateful and thankful to have this support system.

I marked my calendar for 8 weeks. That's when the effects from the T injections typically start to be noticeable. February 12th, I think. Hopefully I will be feeling better around then. Again, most folks with chronic illness know better than to get hopes up too high. So I am managing my expectations. But if I can send an audio message without 5 minutes of "uhhhhhhh...", that would be nice.

[mrs-snape5984]

“There is more to love than this. Love is more than just a kiss…”

“And will you, bring the thunder in my life and the fire in my eyes? ‘Cause then, there will be days of pleasure and everything far will be so near…” (“Ich kenne nichts” by Xavier Naidoo feat. RZA)

Struggling with several diseases and disabilities, especially since I’m being tortured by the countless symptoms of this goddamn bitch sickness ME/CFS, made me lose my self-esteem and my self-confidence. For the past two years, I was convinced, that the pain as well as my supposedly unstoppable physical and mental decay have taken a toll on my personality. The bold, strong and self-reliant woman and mother, I’ve been before, was gone.

Well, at least, that’s what I thought! Some months ago, I discovered that this woman had not disappeared. On the contrary, she’s still living inside my soul…stubbornly raging at my condition and the confines of my body…and yet, she’s full of hope for better days.

I must admit, that I had some help with this insight. There are friends in my life, who managed to encourage me opening my eyes to see, what’s laying beneath the weak shell of my body. And I found something else. I found love! An unconditional, honest love, which makes me feel so grateful for being alive, no matter how this life might look like, at the moment.

I’ve always fought with intrusive thoughts and self-loathing…but since I am allowed to see myself through the eyes of this special person, there’s something awakening in me, which I’ve never experienced before: Self-acceptance. Slowly but surely, I’m beginning to accept, that I don’t need to be a perfectly shaped, beautiful, studious and healthy woman to be loveable. It seems as if even I - with all my flaws, my traumas, my vulnerabilities and my fears - am worthy of being loved. I couldn’t be more blessed with this realisation…and with the fact, that this special person welcomes my love with open arms in return.

For this breathtaking artwork of Severus and my - undeniably self-inserted - OC Jules I’ve commissioned my friend @hannisimp. Lin, my dear, you’ve done an amazing job with the fulfilment of my ideas. Witnessing Severus and Jules in this intimate and trustful situation makes my heart melt into a puddle. The exchange of their glances is so powerful, so touching…and despite their flaws, there’s a certain knowledge palpable between them: “Ich kenne nichts, das so schön ist wie du!” (= i don't know anything as beautiful as you).

Thank you for making my dream come true in your art, Lin! You’re an incredibly talented artist and a wonderful person. Feel hugged, my dear! 🫂🖤

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[kiiwiigii]

Night-Time Reading

Alec x Fem!Reader

Summary: You are having a rough day managing your POTS/CFS. All you want to do is relax and Alec is there to help.

Warnings:

Fluff! Nothing but tooth rotting fluff.

Word Count: 400+

Requested?: Yes!

So I'm going through a really rough time, I'm disabled (pots and CFS) and my cfs is acting up badly cause school started and I've been so busy I haven't had a break period, constantly walking and running and being busy. now I have a three day weekend so my body is letting myself feel the consequences of pushing myself too far, so I was wondering if I could suggest some comfort? Alec with a mate that either has cfs or just has some symptoms and just him keeping them as comfortable as possible while they're in pain Common symptoms (including the ones I'm going through) - joint pain (I can barely go up stairs and walk -extreme temp fluctuations (really hot to really cold quickly) -brain fog (brain is foggy. I'm too weak to open a bottle of coke so I left it open and while talking I tipped it over and forgot it was open) -migraines/headaches -sore throat -trembling -really tired but can't fall asleep and/or sleeps for a really long time Thank you for listening 🫶🏼 -🦊

A/N: Hey nonny! I am so, so sorry it has taken me this long to write this. Honestly, I was (and still am I suppose) intimidated to write this, simply because these illnesses are not something I am not even remotely familiar with. But I also want to thank you because it's a good writing exercise for me. I'm also sorry that you're having such a rough time. I can't even imagine. So here's a fic, just for you, darling. I hope you're feeling better.

Another A/N: So the wonderful and amazing @alecvolturi did an amazing edit of Alec reading the first bit of The Hobbit. Please give it a listen as you read. It's PERFECT.

Miserable.

I was fucking miserable.

It began just by sitting up. I could feel the migraine building, and I was already in the throws of a hot flash. It didn't help that the pain in my joints was flaring up again.

It was 3 a.m. and I was already this close to crying. I couldn't remember the last time that I had a proper nights sleep. I just wanted one day, one day where I didn't have to be in pain or worry that any movement I made would set off a whole other series of symptoms, all of which almost all of them were painful.

"Darling?" Alec was next to me, his cold hands running over my heated skin, trailing goosebumps behind in his wake.

His hands were a sweet, cool balm on my flushed skin. It gave me a little relief. I leaned into him, enjoying the cold. His lips pressed to my forehead.

"Scale of 1 to 10?"

"7 to 8." I mumbled.

One would think with how long that I've lived with this disease that I would have a high pain tolerance. That couldn't be further from the truth. I could already feel a few tears slipping from beneath my lashes. I just wanted something to make the pain go away.

I whined as Alec disappeared, only to reappear with my meds and a bottle of water a moment later.

"Here, drink." He handed me the pills and water, and I took them gratefully. He pulled the comforter from the floor where I had kicked it off, bundling it back up on the bed for us to lay down on. He then grabbed my phone, pulling up my favorite playlist, the one he made for me to help me calm down when I felt like shit. The music started flowing through the speaker near my bed at a low volume.

"What book, darling?" His eyes were already scanning my bookshelves.

"Uhm…" I blinked back at him slowly, trying to process what he said.

"How about The Hobbit?"

"Perfect." I rasped with a small smile.

He was next to me again in a flash, his back against the headboard as he pulled me gently to him, a pillow already ready in his lap.

"In the hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit." His voice lilted over me, and I felt myself begin to relax as his hands gently ran through my hair and along my neck.

The fine mist that signaled the use of his gift began to unfurl from his fingers and I felt myself begin to numb. The first time he had done this it had been disconcerting, but now I welcomed it with relish. A small reprieve from the pain. I smiled to myself, letting my eyes slip closed as I listened.

Then finally, sleep came for me.

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