#Man i wish i still had this one book! i would rent it constantly from the kids library that my sister ended up buying me a copy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missyasf · 4 years ago

Text

Game Of Hearts

| 1 |

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 11k

___| Next

Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!

Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...

Escapism

noun

the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡

You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally.

Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake.

It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps?

The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work.

It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear.

...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind.

It’s pathetic, honestly.

“How dare you! You disgusting slut!”

In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.

It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?

Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control.

That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too.

Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?

“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...

You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position.

You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to.

“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband.

It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work.

He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself.

“Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little.

Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, “Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations.

But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag.

The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight.

Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…

If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house.

Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?”

You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda.

It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself?

All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life.

“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!”

You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.”

Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.

It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it.

“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”

Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was.

“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied.

“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major.

Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist.

Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy.

“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.”

You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ”

You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?”

Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?”

Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat.

Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table.

Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands.

How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground.

“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out.

Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in.

...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined.

After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor.

Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out.

“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what.

“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.

“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before.

“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.”

You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms.

Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?”

“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.”

Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.

You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?

“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled.

“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!”

“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.”

“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!”

Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…

“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment.

You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..

Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.”

“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road.

The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people!

You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?

Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this.

Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew?

“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned.

“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?

Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”

Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.”

“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!”

Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.

“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally.

The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up.

Game

You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?

Difficulty: 5♣

“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”

A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen,

“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear. If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.”

Rules:

Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit

Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners

There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto.

You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.

Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over

If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.

The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.

What…

What!?

“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”

Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.

“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.”

Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding.

Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly.

How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.”

You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.”

How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward.

Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead.

“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant.

Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!

“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second.

Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide”

“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?

“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well.

You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was.

You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?

“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group.

“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.”

Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind.

“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.”

Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.”

“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued.

Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,”

You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?”

“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.”

“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?

Then...what was the monster?

“One minute remaining.”

The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.”

“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!?

You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot.

More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.

Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart.

Or that’s at least what you assumed it was.

After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame?

Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.

Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away.

“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind.

“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.”

“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least.

Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done.

Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together.

“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.”

Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you?

Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.”

“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.”

You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!”

Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?”

You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out.

Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.”

Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”

Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off.

The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed.

The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open.

You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.

Was this your last moment alive? Truly?

Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner.

The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone.

“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!”

“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it.

Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?”

“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.”

You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.”

He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?”

He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.”

Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution.

“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!

“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure.

You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”

“Or here!”

Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half.

“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…”

You hadn’t even thought of that…

“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”

“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”

The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side.

The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place.

Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?”

“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.”

You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers.

“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?”

“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!”

“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….!

“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open.

Fuck.

Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps.

It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed.

“Game Cleared”

The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life.

“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement.

You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more.

What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.

“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was.

“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head.

“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''

“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd.

“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little.

Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one.

A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream.

“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant.

“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.”

Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!”

“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance.

“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!

“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.”

You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?”

“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.”

“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?”

Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…

“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”

Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also

#alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader smut #shuntaro chishiya #shuntaro chishiya x reader #aib imagine #aib x reader

730 notes · View notes

dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

Text

One Summer In Paris ~A Small White Lie~ JJK

WORD COUNT: 3.9 K

GENRE: Fluffy, romance, ex-lovers to lovers,

PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader

DESCRIPTION: Jeon Jungkook had always loved Paris with its amazing views, incredible museums and the small Bookshop right across from the Effiel Tower. It was were he spent a lot of his summer breaks as a kid so he loved it well into his adulthood. There was one bookshop he rented a room in the summer that changed his life. It was a place where he felt happy and at peace whenever he had the chance to stay there. Where he fell in love for the first time and had his first heartbreak, a lot of firsts for him were in Paris. But what happens when he goes back to the same book shop four years later and finds the love of his life in the arms of another with a daughter who looks suspiciously like him…

THEMES: Single Parent, Jungkook x Fem!Reader, self insert, Smut will be included in a later chapter [Italics - Flashback]

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || NEXT

The rain was hammering down on the streets as you tried to make a decision about running out there or to stay under the small umbrella above the shop you'd just come out of, it was supposed to be summer but the rain made it seem as though it was in the middle of winter and a storm had hit. You knew sometimes thunderstorms hit whenever it got too hot but you never expected a downpour like this, you were soaked from head to toe after walking out in the rain for only a couple of seconds.

"Miss, we're locking up." You nodded taking your handbag and placing it over your head in an attempt to stop yourself from getting wetter and you began to try your luck at running to the bookshop you were living above for the Summer. Some summer this was turning out to be though, it had done nothing but rain today despite the forecast being nothing but sunshine and clear skies. Your phone had once again lied to you. Your only day off so far and it was being ruined by the rain, your new outfit was also ruined thanks to drivers splashing puddles up you.

As you ran by the riverside you noticed all of the couples sharing an umbrella together, coming to the city of love alone was something you'd wanted to do since you were a kid but seeing people like this made you feel lonely. Until you realised how cold and wet they must have been, then you thought about how stupid it was to just be standing out in the rain like nothing was happening.

Your legs felt like they were on fire at the rate you were running but you still weren't any closer to the bookshop, you'd spent your day off from work exploring the city alone trying to get used to your surroundings but now you'd wished you'd just stayed at home instead, curled up in bed with a warm cup of hot chocolate and one of the many books that you had to choose from. One of the many joys of working in a business where your passion and hobby came into one space and made it feel more like a pleasure than a job. Thunder sounds and you groaned jumping over a puddle and sprinting to hide under an umbrella at a new shop, you checked inside your bag to see everything was practically ruined, the book you'd brought with you to keep your occupied while you had lunch under the Effiel tower was drenched. In fact, the only things that weren't ruined were your phone, a couple of presents you'd gotten for your friends and a fridge magnet you'd gotten for yourself. You'd made a small promise to collect small fridge magnets over your time there, something your friends had done whenever they travelled somewhere new.

"Shit," You hissed realising the time, it was starting to get really, really late and you knew that the shop owner wanted you to be there when the next lodger would turn up to take the apartment above yours in the shop. Grace was kind but when it came to being late and tardiness she drew a line. Sighing as you looked at the sky, it didn't look like it was going to let up any time soon so you just began sprinting towards the shop so you wouldn't be too late.

The shop lights were still on so you began heading towards the door praying that Grace wasn't going to be too mad at you for being late. You were about to head through the door when you crashed into someone knocking your bag behind you and sending their suitcase against the floor, flying open with the contents spilling out.

"I'm so sorry! It- I wasn't paying attention." You rushed out as you began handing the boy bits of his clothing as you found them on the floor, he chuckled shaking his head and promising you that it had been his fault. He wasn't paying attention to what he was doing either, he was trying to figure out if he was in the right place.

"I wasn't watching what I was doing, I was wondering how to get inside." Your hands touched as you handed him a silk black shirt, your eyes travelled up his tattooed hands and up to his eyes, even though he was drenched in rainwater he still looked amazing. Your heart was thumping against your chest as you stared at him studying his facial features for longer than you probably should have but he was handsome, his jawline was sharp and yet he had such a round face. He had long black hair that was swept back into a half up and half down man bun that was sticking to his forehead thanks to the rain. He took a second to look back at you, noticing the way your hair was sticking to your shirt and face, how your eyes seemed to be lighting up even in the dark gloomy weather.

"You two will catch a cold! Inside!" You both began rushing to your feet scrambling to get inside of the bookshop, your boss - Grace - hit you around the back of the head with a thick book.

"I told you to be home hours ago, Y/n meet Jungkook. He'll live above you for the rest of the summer." Jungkook? Even his name sounded amazing to you. It was strange that even a name, something so simple could still sound so good.

"It's nice to meet you Jungkook, will you be helping out in the shop also?" You questioned as you took the book from your bag and went to place it over on the space heater that was behind the counter of the shop. It got cold inside of the shop despite it being summer so the space heater was constantly on behind the counter, keeping you or the other workers warm.

"No, I'm just here to look around the city, I have some time to myself." You nodded at him and Grace began to scold you for not offering him a drink yet. She'd taught you to be a great hostess and yet here you were, not putting those lessons to good use.

"I'll show you to your room, I get up the stairs easier." You laughed softly as you playfully teased Grace, you took his bag for him and showing him the way to the back of the shop and how he would get in and out of his apartment.

"I'll give you a key so you can get in and out easier, there's no shutter for the door so just make sure you lock it or who knows what I'll wake up to one morning." He nodded along to everything you were saying as he followed behind you up the three flights of stairs. The first flight was heading down, the next lead up to what he assumed was your floor and the last one was his.

"Your room is on the top floor, you have a balcony with one of the most astonishing views of the river and the Effiel Tower." You pushed the door open and his mouth almost fell to the floor as he saw everything inside, the apartment was plain but it was beautiful. Something he wasn't used to, the places he stayed were normally extravagant and overdone but this was just perfect. The furniture was all a cream colour and the walls were a soft cream and soft brown wallpaper, it was a nice place to call home for the summer.

"It's not much but it's just enough to call home for the summer," His heart skipped as you said exactly what he'd been thinking, from the moment he'd seen you outside the shop he felt as though alarm bells were going off in his head. You weren't screaming and crying at him so it meant you had no idea who he was, you had a beautiful smile that seemed to make his heart jump whenever you did it. You lifted a small silver key from around your neck and he watched you strolling over to the double doors beside his bed.

"It's not quite the weather tonight but you can sleep with the doors open and you'll wake up to a nice sound of birds and the local guitarist playing just down the street." He wondered how many times you'd done that, slept in this room just so you could wake up to that. It did sound like one of the most peaceful things in the world he smiled looking at the view through the rain stained windows. Even now, covered in rain and dark clouds the Effiel Tower looked breathtaking and as cheesy as it would sound to anyone else. The view outside was nothing in comparison to you, Jungkook felt as though he would look at you all day.

"I have a fireplace downstairs in my apartment if you'd like to come and get some hot chocolate." You weren't doing this just because he was good looking but you had knocked him over in the rain and wanted to make up for it. He was still drenched in water and the first place in his apartment was blocked off so that yours could run with ease.

"Sure, I'll just get changed and then I'll meet you down there." You handed him all of the keys he would be needing for the apartment and went down to your room to give everything a quick clean not wanting to look like a slob in front of someone like him. Holding your hands over your chest you tried to slow down your heart as you thought of him, thought of the way he looked, spoke and smiled.

"Y/n is she mine..." The question was repeated to you, you swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked up at him. Hand laid out on the counter, they were starting to hurt with how hard you were gripping the marble countertop but you nodded your head at him. He had every right to know now that he was back.

"Y-Yes she's yours." Jungkook's heart raced as he looked over at the staircase, Grace was walking down holding up a pair of Minnie mouse ears that seemed to sparkle in the lighting of the shop.

"She's waiting for you." You nodded at Grace as she kissed your cheek, putting the pair of ears onto your head and stared at Jungkook as she walked out of the bookshop,

"She doesn't remember me?" You shrugged your shoulders in answer to his question,

"It's been four years, she sees a lot of people in the shop." You mumbled playing with the sleeves of your thin jumper as he stared at you, the thought of him being there was finally starting to sink in and then you realised he was going to want to meet her.

"Why didn't you tell me? How?" Questions were running through his head at the thought of having a daughter...Or any kind of child. He felt as though he'd missed out on a lot, which he had. His daughter must have been four years old by now, he'd missed out on four years with his own daughter.

"It wasn't like I could contact you Jungkook. How do you think babies are made? We were active together Jungkook and it wasn’t as though we were the safest when we did." You spat out quickly and he looked down at the floor, he knew he deserved that for the way things ended between you so he shut up not wanting to start a fight right now.

"Can I meet her?" You bit down on your lip, you'd never even told her what her real dad was like or who he was because she'd never asked questions about it before. There had been one time when she was three, she questioned why her friend had two parents and she only had one. Now you were about to drop a bombshell on a four-year-old that her father was the famous Jeon Jungkook, a singer in one of the biggest bands and the reason he was never around was because of you...You didn't even know that he was famous when you met him, you just thought he was someone who did a lot of travelling, born rich and could do what he wanted. It wasn't like you googled every person you dated or wanted to date.

"I don't know-" The thought of him randomly meeting her without a warning was worrying you but Jungkook cut you off,

"She's my daughter-"

"She's also my daughter." You snapped back at him, both of you knew that you weren't going to get anywhere with this argument so you took a deep breath, closed your eyes trying to come up with something that would make this make sense.

"She's just a kid, she...I never told her who her dad was." He frowned at why you wouldn't just tell her that he was her dad but then he remembered who he was and what he did for a living. Telling a child that could make them tell other people and he assumed you didn't want drama starting at your door, which you didn't. It had been your whole reasoning for never looking for him again if people knew he was a father you'd never have a normal life again you'd seen the articles following Jungkook. You'd seen the stories about people the hung out with, it was terrifying to you/

"Were you ever going to tell me?" He questioned slowly as he looked up at you, your eyes were staring down at the countertop as you processed the question.

"How? Was I supposed to send you some physic message? Maybe use a magical Owl?" Your daughter slowly came down the stairs as she heard you yelling and she poked her head around the door watching you and Jungkook interact, she stared at the man wondering who he was and why you were fighting. She hated it when you yelled loudly since it never really happened that often.

"Mum? Is everything okay? Want me to call David?" You shook your head getting down onto your knees and motioning for her to come over to you. It was now or never.

"Darling come here, I want you to meet someone." She rushed over to you still dressed as Cinderella and she jumped up into your arms wrapping her tiny arms around your neck. You slowly turned her around setting her on top of the counter and turning her to see Jungkook. He began tearing up as he looked at her, the longer he stared the more similarities he saw in her that he had and it made him cry at the thought of missing the first four years of her life. You could tell by the look on his face you'd made a mistake by hiding her from him but there was nothing you could have done. He had his life and you had yours. Both drastically different from one another.

"Please don't cry Mr, I know books are boring but my mum can make them exciting." He chuckled wiping his face on a tissue she was giving to him from beside and you sighed knowing that you had to tell her,

"Baby, do you remember when you asked me why your friend had two parents, and you only had one?" She nodded looking up as if she was searching the air for the answer, it made you smiled softly at her as she thought back on what you had said to her that day.

"You told me daddy was away and I would know about him when the time was right." You nodded at her, tucking hair behind her ear as you swallowed the lump in your throat. Jungkook looked at you tearing up this time, you'd never thought the day would come, never in a million years had you thought he'd come back here and that you would have to be the one to explain this to her.

"Areum this is your dad, Jungkook this is Areum..." You waited to see what she was thinking of all this,

"You don't have to call me dad though...Not if you're not comfortable with it. I'm Jungkook." She stared at him tilting her head to the side as he held out his hand for her to shake,

"My dad?" You and Jungkook nodded in unison waiting for her to say or do something, she just turned to you and then back to Jungkook in silence. Studying him as she stood up on the counter and walked over to him, she touched his hair.

"Your hair is long." He nodded, it was longer than the first time he'd come to Paris. Now you could probably put it into two little buns on either side of his head, or maybe in a small ponytail.

"It is." He laughed softly, she turned her finger at him,

"Turn." He did as she said and she kept an eye on him, she'd learnt from movies and shows what she thought a dad was supposed to be and she nodded at him.

"Are you sure?" She questioned you sarcastically, she'd been watching too much television, you shook your head at her and picked her up blowing on her shoulder making her scream out as it tickled her. You placed her down onto the floor tapping her arms softly.

"Go and change for bed, it's late." Jungkook watched her as she came over to him and hugged his leg tightly, all she'd ever wished for was for a dad and now to her, it was finally coming true.

"Goodnight Jungkook." She whispered squeezing him tightly once more before rushing towards the staircase as you told her you'd be up to read to her soon. Jungkook's mind went back to the name that Areum had mentioned when she first came down the stairs,

"Who's David?" You froze as the name came from Jungkook's lips, the way he questioned it made you feel like you'd been caught cheating but you and Jungkook hadn't been together in years but it didn't explain the guilty feeling you had hanging over your chest. The guilt rushed through you as you thought about moving on from Jungkook and him not doing the same. It had taken you a while to convince yourself to finally start dating again, four years in fact.

"My boyfriend-"

"Is he close with Areum?" He cut you off quickly as soon as he heard the word boyfriend leave your lips. You stared at him as you began putting books away to keep your hands busy, you wanted nothing more than to smack Jungkook over the head for coming here and asking so many questions like this as if he had any ground to stand on.

"He's been here for about three months but he's close with her-"

"Where did you meet him? Is he just some creep you met in the middle of Paris? Is he safe to be around my daughter?" You slammed a book down onto the shelf and he stopped questioning you. He just stared at you as you paced back over to him rubbing your temples as though he was stressing you out, which he was.

"Is this what it's going to be like because you're here now?" He frowned at what you meant not following along with what you were asking him.

"I just want to know if he's good to be around my daughter-"

"You don't get to decide if he's good enough, you know what...How do I know you're good enough to be around her? How do I know you won't just run off again?" He looked down at the floor and shook his head it wasn't like he had a choice last time. He had to leave before, his break was up and he had no choice but to leave you and Paris.

"I'm staying around, I want to know my daughter, I want my daughter to know me." He looked at you and you bit down on your lip feeling guilty for throwing that in his face. You knew deep down that he didn't have an option to stay last time that he had to leave.

"David is a good guy, he's good with Areum that's all you need to know." He nodded at you calmly, telling you that he wanted to meet him before David got to spend any more time with his daughter. Jungkook at least wanted to get to know the man that had been helping look after his daughter.

"I don't think you're in a place to decide if he gets to see her or not Jungkook...He's been around longer than you have-"

"Because I didn't know she existed...Don't throw that one in my face Y/n." You knew it was harsh of you to use against him so you nodded your head, agreeing to let him meet David in the future but not yet.

"Can I come to see Areum tomorrow?" You nodded at him again,

"It's Saturday so she'll be free from everything. She normally helps me around the shop so it'll be nice for her to get out of that." You watched him as he walked towards the door of the shop getting ready to leave again. It brought back that sinking feeling of never seeing him again,

"Jungkook," You called out, right as his hand touched the door handle he turned to look at you and at the moment it was like looking at him for the first time. The way he stared at you, the way his eyes looked, it sent shivers rushing down your spine. You noticed he had more tattoos than the first time you saw him and you wondered if he'd covered up the one you'd given to him.

"Yeah?" He called out when you didn't respond to him just looking at you, you shook your head to get rid of the daydream you were having and you smiled weakly at him,

"Did you rent the room out for the summer?" He nodded his head as he thought about the place above yours.

"I wanted to stay somewhere familiar to me, have you been up there since the last time?" You shook your head even if it was a lie, you spent the first few weeks of him being gone up there. You'd smashed most of everything up and replaced it when you calmed down. The whole place felt wrong after he left, you hated that he'd left almost everything behind. The guitar you'd gotten him at the boot fair one time, photos of you together drawn by a man by the river. Everything was broken and trashed since you never wanted to see him again.

"No." You told a small white lie, he nodded and pulled the door open walking out into the street and making his way back to his hotel room as he thought about everything going. A week ago he had no idea his daughter even existed and now he was wondering what his life was going to be like now, how he was going to tell the boys. If he even wanted to tell the boys but he knew deep down inside himself that he had to let someone know.

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || NEXT

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @fan-ati--c @innersooya @sw33tnight @bisexualmess007 @rjsmochii @sweeneyblue1 @neverthefirstchoice @jikooksgirl19 @jungkooksseuphoria @queenmasterxx @oosnapitskat @janieooo

306 notes · View notes

mari-lair · 4 years ago

Photo

Norray halloween week Day 1: Ghosts!

If curious, below are some random info about this Teacher/ghost AU

Ray got a gun and he can use it. The ghost gun isn’t able to touch, much less physically hurt anyone, but it replicate the sound of a real gun, which contributed a lot to how low priced his haunted house rent has become. It nearly gave Norman a heart attack the first time he heard it.

After being dead for a while, Ray learned how to turn visible and invisible at will and play around small objects such as paper, shoes and butcher knives. He can control up to 4 small objects at a time or something relativaly heavy like a chair if he really concentrate. The more he got the hang of controling and moving small objects the lower his house rent become, rarely getting aggressive but still able to physically hurt people. On All Hallows Eve he can posses people’s bodies and get out of the house he haunts, but he always ends up back to his empty ‘home’ when the night is over.

Ray is an incredibly fast learner. Just by observing the people that visits his house, he learned a decent amount of modern english and understand the basics of how tecnology is a thing now -he wished this advanced tecnology was invented when he was alive. It would make the of lack of food and nutrients less of a deadly nightmare in open sea.

As a pirate, Ray used to be the one in charge of doing most of the bloody work and take the night watch, protecting his captain’s back from both outside and inside forces. He was constantly alert, borderline paranoic. But as the years in death passed, he grew more calm, very patient. He usually don’t mind new people in his house, happy to learn more modern english and befriend the guests willing to tolerate him. If a new guest cross a line however, Ray will do his best to scare them away. Hurt them or kill them by manipulating knives if he sees fit.

It’s very rare for adults to see Ray as anything other than a nonsense they have no energy to deal with or a warning sign for their crumbling lives, so he usually hang around kids. The childish company mellows him with time.

Ray is from a time where death was common and getting hurt was inevitable so what people consider pretty serious is something Ray considers mild “Why are you being so dramatic about seeing some bone? Be grateful your hand is still attached to your wrist after you slaped your daughter. If it wasn’t for her wishes you wouldn’t have legs to run away.”

Norman is considered a genius and have countless prizes under his belt. He wanted to go to the moon when he was a kid but because of his weak health, he knew he would not be acepted in the space program. He decided teaching was the next best thing later on, accepted as a teacher in a prestigious school while still young. He enjoys and understand all subjects but love history the most, unable to deny it was hard and frustrating to teach a whole class of teens at times but still liking his job. Having one student that was genuinaly interested in his class was more than enough to make his day.

When Norman first started teaching, he felt more responsable than he had his whole life. It wasn’t a bad feeling per see, but it made him anxious so he called his little sister Cherry once a week to ask her questions about her teachers and make sure he was doing a good job.

Norman may not be the funniest of teacher but he’s still a favorite for his palpable cares for his students. He does not make the subject easier than is requested but he put a lot of effort into making people enjoy their world history, teaching with passion and seriously answering any questions, no matter how silly or joking it sounds. He’s understanding and try his best to help those with dificulty with the subject, always giving people second chances, having lost countless nights of sleep correcting re-writen essays after deadlines and turning his test questions into podcasts for students with adhd, aware the big historical excerpts are fundamental for answering the test but too hard to focus, specially with limited time.

The lambda crew are problem children. Norman went the extra mile to save Barbara and Zazie from failing classes even outside history and left Vincent startruck with his wide knowladge about not only world history but a ton of subjects he could be teaching too if he wasn’t overworking himself. Norman is both happy to inspire the squad to study hard and also very awkward by their blind admiration.

The teacher had a firm “ghost don’t exist” mentality, which is one of the reasons he brought the haunted house in the first place. He had chalked Ray up as an halucination from his sleep deprived brain, having the rotten luck of buying the house right after a bad guest owned. The ghost got more annoyed than usual from things as insignificant as Norman keeping the lights on for too long, putting music Ray doesn’t vibe with, or just acting unfairly cute, to more personal matters such as Norman studying about Ray and his family lives. They used to have a distant and bad relationship but once Ray noticed Norman had only admiration for history, being genuinaly kind when trying to talk instead of mocking his existence, Ray apologised. Norman was still wary at first but they quickly hit off, enjoying to learn what the other had to offer and matching in wits.

When Norman catch a fever or a bad cold Ray gets wary. He know, on some level, that medicine have evolved a lot, but he remenbers way too clearly how serious even the weakest of diseases could get if not imediatly treated. He always stick by Norman’s side when the teacher sneezes, not taking his eyes off him. Usually Norman keep working when he catch a cold, so Ray learned to float Norman’s grading papers out of his reach when coughing joined his sneezes. Floating a paper is enough to get Norman to take a break most of the time, but if the get stubborn Ray will stop playing nice. Just lower his voice to comander mode and order “Rest. Now. Or I’ll make your life a living hell.” and Norman does what he’s told, it’s very unconfortable to have a gun in the face and he does feel very tired.

When Norman is seriously sick, not just coughing but stuck to his bed. Ray freak out and fear for his life. When it reached this level, most of his crewmates died or had to be thrown in the sea to not infect other. Yes Ray know it’s not as bad anymore, but even when he observed guests, they rarely got sick, and when it got bad they where taken to a doctor. Norman lives alone so he got no one to feed him and bring him blankets or take him to the doctor if he lies for hours in bed. Ray was all the help he would get and he is fucking dead, he can’t measure his temperature or take care of him properly. Ray does tries his best though. He concentrated a lot to float heavy blankets and pillows towards Norman. Imediatly fetching any pills asked of him and doing his best to make him tea. It isn’t tasty, but Norman still appreciates his care.

Ray is the first to fall in love, he think “If only I could kiss this fool and hug him, I would do it on the daily. I wish he was alive back then... He would love meeting Emma...” at least once a week but a big part of him is just “Forget scurvy! Norman would die of cold or malnutricion before he reached 10. Thank god the helpless bastard took his sweet time to be born.”

Ray cannot touch any eletronics, he can’t even come close without phones, computers, and tvs turning to statics, so Norman buys an illustrated book about the Red Mane Pirates for Ray to see his crew again. He know is not perfect but is the best he can offer whenever Ray expresses missing his family.

They read together. Norman occasionally teaching a new word to his ghost and Ray correcting any historical inacuracy. It’s fun.

Norman finds an illustration of an alive Ray sleeping in the mast waaay too beautiful. Ray snort at the romantized draw, disolving into laughter by how Norman failed to hide his blush.

It became a habit to read history books together and tease each other. More often then not, it lead to a history class and way to much sass on both ends.

“Wait, so there really was a world war? I heard about it from old guests but I thought they were exagerating when they called world war! And what do you mean 2? There was a second one??”

“How did miss the second one? It was HUGE, quite horribl-”

“You were not even alive when it happened.”

“Tecnically, you weren’t either Ray-”

Ray is a bit scared of how attached he got to Norman, knowing eventually the man would die. He hopes it will take a long time, and that once he had a painless death, he will become a ghost too, but he doesn’t really believe Norman will ever turn into a ghost. Ray knows not everyone that dies became a ghost. Since someone as compassionable as Emma -even if she was forced to have blood and dirty choises on her hand to survive the merciless seas- was not cursed to became a ghost, he was confident someone as kind as Norman would dissapear from Ray’s afterlife once he died too.

More of this AU here

And since you reached the end of this text wall. You can have this bonus Norman being awkward/excited about their growing friendship.

#norray #the promised neverland #tpn norman #tpn ray #norray week #norrayweek #i still can't draw adult BUT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT #i don't know much about history so guyhiluojikço #NORMAN SLEEPING POSE WAS SO HARD TO DRAW HOLY SHI-#but i love this au #yiouhoji freaking ship week anxiety tho

443 notes · View notes

hacked-by-jake · 4 years ago

Note

Can you please show love of jake and mc while mc is sick and jake take care of her

Private Nurse

A/n: Hey, thank you very much for your request. I loved the idea. I hope you like it as it has become now. I wish you a nice rest of the day/ evening or night. Have fun reading.❤️

Pairing: Jake x MC

Words: 1,9k

Summary: Jake does everything for you

A few days ago you woke up with a bad cold. A bad cough attack woke you up at 5 o'clock in the morning, unfortunately not only you but also the peacefully sleeping hacker. You were sweaty all over, the sheets were wet, your clothes and the blanket and your pillow. Your throat hurt terribly and your head felt like a bus rolled over it. Your ears were booming and your nose was blocked. Your throat was as dry as if you haven’t been drinking for days, and with each breath, your lungs have awkwardly rattled and scratched.

You’ve never seen Jake so worried. While a bad cough attack made breathing even more difficult, he sat next to you and calmly stroked your back and handed you the water bottle. The cool liquid in your dry throat felt like paradise itself. Carefully, Jake had pulled the wet strands of hair out of your face as you calmed down and his eyes widened in shock, God baby, it's feel like you’re cooking. Your forehead is burning up"

You feel so dirty, you even started crying at his sad look. He pulled you into his arms and just held you tight. After your little emotional breakdown, he got up to make you a tea and came back with a wet washcloth he put on your forehead. You moaned with relief as a few cold drops have rolled over your face and brought you a little improvement.

Unfortunately, you were so warm and you had sweated so much that he had to go again within a few minutes to switch back to cool water.

„I’ll fill you some water in the bathtub, okay? You should wash yourself and get out of your wet clothes, my love," he said, and you couldn't do more than nod your head.

Your whole body was so sticky that the thought of water was heavenly. You couldn’t have taken a shower, you felt too weak and exhausted.

He didn’t let you go by yourself, he came back and carried you to the bathroom. The cup of tea he had made was ready and a mountain of foam swam on the water. You could only imagine how good it smelled.

He helped you take off your clothes and put you in the bathtub, whose water was only lukewarm to cool you down a little. The water helped you relax your muscles and turn off your head. Even though you protested, Jake had asked if it was okay if he briefly went to change the bed linen. But you didn’t want him to bother if it was your fault, but he just ignored your weak attempts.

A short time later, he came back with your favorite book and sat on the edge of the bathtub.

He’d read you your favorite lines and lovingly pulled his hand through your hair. He helped you wash your hair and when you were done bathing, he helped you dry and put on. He carried you back to the bedroom with a new cup of steaming tea and a pack of tablets for fever.

Although he still looked terribly tired and had to yawn constantly, he stayed awake. He lay down in bed with you after he took his laptop and even took off his shirt so that you did not get too warm while cuddling. He had turned on your favorite movie and pulled you to himself. Your head lay on his chest and he caressed your hair calmly until you managed to fall asleep again.

The next time you woke up, which was already around noon and unfortunately you didn’t feel better. But luckily, you didn’t sweat as much because of the pills and the fever got better.

You could hear noises from the kitchen so you got up to see what the hacker was doing there. And when you saw the table full of things you like, you could have started crying again.

While you had been sleeping, he was on his way to get the right medication from the pharmacy and then went shopping to buy everything you like to eat.

He really thought of everything, different teas, crisps, chocolate, ice cream, gummy bears, juice, fruits like strawberries and cherries. Various soups with which you could probably survive the whole year and vegetables. But the sweetest were the different types of ice that he brought with him if your fever got worse and to calm your sore throat.

And at that moment, you had fallen in love with him again, how lovingly he smiled when he saw you. The way he came at you and locked you in his arms. Kissing you and not letting go while he explained to you what the different medications are.

He brought you back to bed and brought you soup shortly after and carried everything he had bought into the bedroom. With his charging cable for the laptop, he has laid back with you and you have watched movies all day, videos on YouTube, cuddled in silence or he had told you stories from his life. Stories of his escape, stories from the life of a hacker or he had just told what he was working on.

For the next few days, you have never felt so good in your soul, even though you were sick. Jake did everything for you, helped you with everything, and every second make sure you didn’t miss anything. Didn’t working, and only gave himself in to you.

You had felt really bad after three days because he was hanging by your side the whole time. You kept trying to explain to him that it would be okay if he wanted to work or have a little time to himself. That he didn’t have to stay by your side all the time.

But all he did was look at you in complete dumbfounded. As if you were crazy, he had looked at you and made you realize that nothing mattered except you. That he wouldn’t leave your side until you were better off.

The way he was disturbed by your words was one of the sweetest things you had ever seen. You knew the world could end and Jake would do anything to protect you and take care of you.

He made sure that you could go to the balcony for a few minutes to get some fresh air. He made sure that you didn’t get bored by alternating between movies, puzzles and board games or card games. He kept reading to you from a book, and you could swear that you were just getting better so quickly only because of Jake.

After four days and the still failed attempt to persuade him to go to work because you knew he would like to, you even told him he would annoy you, to get rid of him. If it had been up to you, of course, he could have just stayed with you forever, but you didn’t want him to sacrifice all his time just because you were sick.

When you accused him of annoying you, he just laughed and replied, "I don’t care if I annoy you. I won’t leave you alone until you’re well."

Then you started bugging him, reassuring him that he could leave and that nothing would happen to you while he was away. He’d be only a few rooms away.

Sighing, he finally got up and disappeared into his study. He’d locked the door behind him, and you’d turned on your movie again.

However, not five minutes later he came back with a broad grin. Amused you asked him what was going on, but all he did was lift you up and take the blanket with him. He took you to his study, and when you saw the big armchair from the living room, at the place where his desk chair should be, you laughed too.

He’d traded chair for armchairs and dropped on them with you. While you were just continuing to watch movies or videos, Jake had finally done the job he had been postponing all the days before.

Although you have really appreciated Jake’s sweet nature and his concern, you were happy when after a week you were almost really well again. And only thanks to the hacker who had done everything to make you feel good.

There hasn’t been a moment in the last seven days that he hasn’t been sweeter to you than sugar.

Every day you got new energy and every second you lay in his arms made you feel a bit better. The beaming and happiness in Jake’s eyes when you told him you were better, thanks to him, was beautiful. Seeing how proud he was that it helped you, what he did was reason enough to always get healthier. You knew he was the sweetest person in the world even before the last week, but if someone would have given you a dollar every time Jake told you he loved you or kissed you, on your forehead, cheek, lips. If someone had given you a dollar every time, you’d be the richest person in the world by now. You could rent a luxury yacht and spend your life sailing around the world.

Not only did Jake help you get better, he also made it clear to you again, at the same time that he was the only one who could make you happy, that he was and is the only one who deserves to be by your side. Even if he didn’t want you anymore, you’d probably be single all your life because there’d never be man like Jake. Who would treat you like Jake did, who would care for you like Jake cares for you, who would love you like Jake loves you. Every second with the hacker was the most valuable thing in the world for you, and the only thing that really makes sense. You knew before that Jake was and will be the only one for you, but now you knew it clearly. Jake is the most special and best person in the world.

When you woke up on the eighth day in the morning, you finally felt healthy again. Your throat didn’t hurt anymore, your nose wasn’t clogged, and you could breathe without coughing.

In a good mood you bent over to Jake and covered his face with a lot of small kisses until he finally woke up. But when you saw his glassy eyes and the deep shadows under his eyes, you immediately anxiously left to sit down, "Good morning" he murmured with a scratchy voice and immediately you felt bad.

You’ve been afraid to infect him all day, didn’t want him to feel as bad as you. Didn’t want him to suffer any more, because he had suffered with you the last few days. He also didn’t sleep much at night because you couldn’t sleep so well. Because you rolled around in bed or were constantly woken up by coughing fits, and now he was sick.

"I’m so sorry, Jake," you mumble with concern, brushing his cheek. In response, he turns his head away from you in a flash to sneeze.

And you decide to care for him even more than he did for you.

🌹🎭

Masterlist

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fanfiction #everbyte #everbyte duskwood #everbyte studios #duskwood everbyte #duskwood mc

109 notes · View notes

princessofprocrastination · 4 years ago

Text

Not Even Real (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST

pairing : sapnap x reader

summary : everyone shipped them even from the start, but what they don’t know is that it’s all just a one sided love, and none of the relationship was ever real. (ANGST)

they think we live in a movie, that our love was created from the start, that it was written down on a piece of paper, that this was meant to be, that we’re lucky.

but they’re wrong. they don’t know how hurt you are. they don’t see how unhappy you are behind the four walls of your room, when you’re away from them.

they don’t know how hard you try to stop yourself from spewing out the truth. the truth he doesn’t want to let out. the truth that it was all for show.

it started friendly, meeting each other from the love of playing minecraft. you met clay or more known as dream, first. you two became close on social media as you watched one of his first videos on youtube.

the friendship was smooth sailing, and you thought your life couldn’t get any better. you then met george, but never made it to meet since you lived all away at texas.

not long after that, you three became super close friends with nick, sapnap, it seemed so perfect, he was your age and he lived in texas, too.

then you met the rest, like darryl, who’s known as badboyhalo. the five of you were inseparable, constantly playing minecraft, trying out new codes for your respective channels.

none of you had met officially, in real life but nick and you agreed to meet since you lived really close to each other, anyways.

it started as a friendly little diner “date.” when you two met, it wasn’t awkward, not even a little. you two would not shut up about minecraft or any other new games for you to play.

and since you two also already had respective face reveals, you sent the groupchat a selfie of you two, showing them that you two had met each other, even before everyone else did.

the rest of you did eventually meet, specifically in brighton. you all flew to england to meet them, you and nick getting plane tickets together and meeting at the airport on the day of departure.

of course, as of many public figures, you get shipped with many people.

it started of with dream, then george, thne wilbur, at some point because people saw how close you all were. of course soon enough, you and nick were bound to be shipped too.

it was all an opinion, none of the ships died down, yet the ships just kept coming. you never thought it was annoying until you realize you fell for the one and only texan.

you didn’t fall easily. in fact, you had only been in one other relationship, which had ended really badly that once you left highschool, you didn’t want to be tied down anymore.

nick and you just seemed to be grower closer and closer together, so close that people started speculating something.

of course, as a normal person, you had imagined what it would be like to date him, what it would be like to not be friends with him, but more.

and as a normal girl, before you sleep, you’d hope that he was deep in love with you just as much.

but that wasn’t the case.

nick saw the rumours, the ship comments. he wasn’t particularly bothered by them. and as of any big group, containing a girl, the girl was bound to be shipped with everyone.

the boys had a separate group chat on discord. some things, they just didn’t want you to know.

in there, nick was teased a lot, being the only one that was your age.

he didn’t know why he thought about it, but he did. he questioned himself what would it be like to date you.

no, not for real. he just thought about what it was like to fake date you and act like you two were a couple in front of your friends and your supporters.

when he had told you the idea, you were shocked. thank god he called you normally, not on facetime, or else you would’ve made it so obvious that you loved him.

your heart was beating out out your chest when he proposed the idea of dating.

but your heart sunk down to your stomach the moment he said that he wanted to prank people by fake dating.

you never thought he would be that person. the person to break your heart. he probably doesn’t know it was hurting you anyway. but still, it hurt like shit.

you two agreed that none of the other boys should know about it, and to only tell that that you two realized you liked each other and decided to date.

since then, it was never the same.

there were some pros and cons. well, more cons than pros, in your opinion.

sure, you’d get to act like you actually a couple in front of the camera and your friends, but that just made you feel worst.

everyday, you heart just gets heavier at the weight of the truth on your shoulders.

nick and yourself booked tickets to fly to england the second time, meeting an extended version of the dream team.

you were excited to meet tommy and tubbo, along with the rest, of course.

since all of you decide that it would be better to rent out an airbnb, everyone was staying in one house. lucky for you, niki was also there, which meant that you weren’t going to be the only girl.

that also meant that you didn’t need to bunk in with nick, instead, you had to room with niki, which you happily agreed to.

walking out the arrival hall with nick was hard, you had to suck it up and act happy for the sack of pranking your friends.

nick had no clue that his proposal had been eating you up. he noticed that you were off but he just though you were having a bad day.

when you all met at the airbnb, everyone was so welcoming and they left you and nick for a while to rest after the flight.

during dinner was when it all went down. the questions spewed out like water. it never stopped. you would answer them but you’d leave nick to answer most, seeing that he made this up anyway.

the night was terrible for you. to show the rest that you two were actually dating, you had to sit close to each other throughout the entire trip. you’d have to cuddle during movie night, sit by each other whenever you ate meals, hold each others hands.

you’d have to act happy in front of them, for the sake of nick. never in a million years, you thought that you had to sacrifice your happiness for someone you love.

when you two flew back to texas, you tried your best not to say anything. you didn’t want to snap at him for no reason. you weren’t angry at him, how could you. you were just upset at how he’s doing so well acting it out.

you were upset seeing this because this meant he didn’t even like you, yet love you.

everyday, your mental health became worst. you couldn’t believe you’re even getting up to stream anymore.

multiple times, you’ve asked yourself “why am i doing this? what was the point? what would be the consequence of just saying you didn’t want to do this anymore?”

you knew once you said you wanted to leave this fake relationship that it would mean you’ll lose your friends, your only friends.

as days go by, you didn’t even feel like picking up your phone anymore. you didn’t want to see the cute photos your friends took of you and nick. to which nick had told you to put as your wallpaper in order to make it more believable.

the fans that saw your wallpaper on tommy’s vlog went crazy. they had see nick’s, too. a photo of you smiling. everyone thought it was adorable. and so did you, but you were more hurt than happy.

you didn’t want to this anymore. you hated lying. to your fans, your friends. you hated how the truth weigh you down. you needed to tell someone.

since you and clay had been friends for so long, you knew that if you were to tell someone, that it would be him.

so you called him that day. more specifically, you facetimed him.

“hello?” he greeted me, but was confused on why i was calling him.

“i just need to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone else for my sake.” you told him, starting to cry.

“oh my god, you’re crying.” he looked concern.

you poured everything out that day. every single detail you could spew out, you did.

the weight on your shoulder lessened, but not enough. you needed to get away from all the chaos.

clay was surprised. he never thought that the relationship would be fake. he thought you two are fated together.

maybe it was just the acting. clay was surprised when you cried on facetime.

this meant that it was very serious. he told you that he would be there for you throughout this thing, and that you’ll figure it out soon.

during minecraft manhunt, while george was afk and you all weren’t recording anymore, clay asked nick about you.

“she’s amazing man, i see her everyday.” he says. clay can sense the smile as he says that.

damn, he was a good actor. you and nick hadn’t met since coming home from brighton, and clay knew that.

you called clay everyday since then, always updating him about things that are going on.

to clay’s surprise, nick hadn’t even checked in on her since they arrived back in texas.

sure, nick is clay’s bestfriend but this was unacceptable. clay cared about you so much. he hated to see you this broken. not when the texan boy had no clue that this was his doing.

you didn’t get any better. worse, actually.

clay was nervous. he was so worried. worried that you’d do something you regret. something you can’t take back. clay wished he could time travel and make it better from the start.

you hadn’t streamed in so long. your excuse was that you had been sick. acceptable excuse. but not to clay, no.

he needed to act fast before you do something drastic.

the fans who were worried about you constantly asked nick about you.

“she’s fine, just feeling under the weather.” he’d say.

the more you stayed in texas, the more pain it brought you. you needed to leave.

you were in too deep in the nest of feelings you made in your brain. you made it so you could forget nick. but every time you open your social media, there would always be questions about nick and you.

you were sick of it, the constant pain in your chest that never rests. the tweets that you would see about your disappearance.

you knew people were worried about you. but to you, the only one you cared to be worried about you was nick. and so far, he didn’t give two fucks about your whereabouts.

that sucked. but you needed to let go.

when you told clay this, he welcomed you to stay with him with open arms. so you got right into work and packed all your stuff to permanently live with him.

nick. he didn’t know what he has doing. he didn’t understand why he didn’t just pick u his phone and send you a text, to make sure you were okay. he didn’t know all this was his fault.

it sounded selfish, but he enjoyed the attention when he announced that you and him are dating.

he never really sat down to think about you. to him, it was like a contract.

platonic contract for content. for views. like a script.

the day you were leaving for florida, he sat down on his bed just thinking about you. he couldn’t understand why he was, but he did.

he thought about how weird this was. script or not, this seemed wrong. very wrong. he never thought about your feelings. he never prioritized your feelings or you in general.

he felt bad. now that he thought about it, he hadn’t spoken to you since you came back from england.

he picked up his phone to call you, to ask if you were okay. it didn’t go through.

weird.

then he thought about the time chat kept on asking him about you, asking him to go to her house and check on you. he always told his fans that you were okay and that he had already gone to check on you.

but that was far from the truth. but no one knew that.

he didn’t know that the reason why his call didn’t go through was because you were on a plane, leaving texas, leaving him.

he sent you a text so that you could get back to you later.

he didn’t know that you were writing a paragraph on your notes app. a paragraph to apologize to your fans. to nick’s fans. for lying to them all this while.

you held in your tears as you sat in the plane to florida for 2 and a half hours. although you were sad to leave one of the people you love the most, but you knew that to keep your mental health stable, you needed to leave him behind.

you bought wifi on the plane so that you could text clay and the rest of the boys, plus niki. you couldn’t leave them hanging, there were the people who stayed with you through everything, the good and the bad.

you texted them on discord and posted the note paragraph you saved and screenshotted.

you let out a breath of relief once you posted and texted your friends. finally, the heavy weight is off your shoulders.

you saw a text from nick. you knew you had to restrain yourself. you couldn’t go back to him. it would hurt you even more, even if he didn’t know it hurt you.

you texted clay once you landed, making sure he knew which part of the arrival hall you’d be at.

you walked out as the automatic glass doors open, seeing clay sitting on one of the benches. you smiled at him as he notices your arrival, pushing your trolley full of multiple bags you brought.

clay ran up to you to give you a hug as you got closer. he hugged you tightly, to show you that he is here for you, always.

“i am so proud of you. for being brave enough to leave your comfort zone, for willing to start fresh.” he whispers in your ear, still hugging you.

you almost teared up. “come on, let’s go home.” he pushes your trolley, leading you to his car.

you were drained when you came back to clay’s house, now yours too. emotionally, and physically drained.

although that wasn’t a long plane ride, the sleepless nights are finally catching up to you.

you opened instagram, remembering the screenshot you posted a while ago on the plane. your phone almost glitched at the amount of people tagging you or commenting on your photos. some even dming you.

you were overwhelmed with the amount of support your fans brought to you. they told you to take a break, to slowly settle in florida with clay, away from the public eye.

you also read all your friends’ texts. they were fully supportive of your decision. although it sounded easy, they said they were proud of you for even thinking about leaving your hometown, let alone actually doing it.

you even opened the texts from nick. it went from “hey, are you getting better?” to “what’s with your post on instagram”

you thought about texting him, to get a full closure. some people needed that. and him being one of your bestfriends, you cared about him immensely.

the most recent text he sent, said “i understand why you did it, i’m sorry i acted like i didn’t care. i hope you know that i’ll be here for you, whenever you’re ready to talk to me again. please take care of yourself. i love you so much.”

your heart skipped a beat when you read his text, especially when he said “i love you”. you had to tell yourself that he didn’t mean it that way, that he meant to say he loved you as a friend, not a lover.

you looked back at the screenshot you posted, rereading it.

it read. “hi guys. it’s been a while, and i’ve been aware. i’m not one to lie, and i feel immensely guilty for keeping you guys in the dark for this long. first of all, i haven’t been sick lately, not a normal flu, that’s for sure. my mental health has been on the all time low. this had been the lowest i have ever been in years since i became a public figure. secondly, i haven’t been fully truthful to you guys about my relationship. i would just like to say that nick is an amazing person. he has never hurt me, not intentionally. him and i decided that it would be a great idea to fake a relationship between the two of us. this was no one’s fault but my own, for agreeing to it. i have loved nick even from the start, till now. and although i knew that i had feelings for him, i still agreed. and that is no one’s fault but my own.”

you scrolled down more to read the next half. “i had to live with a heavy weight on my shoulder for a couple months, thus me making this. you guys have been super supportive through thick and thin, so i felt guilty for lying to you for this long. and to clear things up, this does not mean i am leaving the dream team. in fact, i am moving in with dream! i hope you guys understand to what extent this has gone to and why i disappeared fr so long without explanation. i love you guys, forever and always. thank you for staying with me this long, i hope you stay. see you soon!” it finishes.

you teared reading it all over again. you knew this was a bad idea, to read it again.

been only a day but you really miss sapnap. it’s not easy to drop every thing in texas to move away from somewhere that you’ve called home. but this is your new home now.

SAPNAP’S POV

i knew i should’ve texted her earlier, to check on her, to make sure she’s okay.

i knew there was something wrong, i called it. but because of my stupidity, i wasted her love for me.

and for what? content? it wasn’t worth it.

now i’ve lost her. potentially forever. i don’t know how to get her back. not after what i did to her. not after what my ignorance did to her.

i needed to get her back but i knew that this break waws good for her, this move was good for her. she deserved the break she has now. and i won’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk to me.

i’ll be waiting, till she comes.

#sapnap imagines #sapnap x reader #sapnap imagine #sapnap

227 notes · View notes

ready-to-obeyme · 4 years ago

Text

[OM!] Angel!AU Demon Brother as Your Guardian Angel

Scenario: Residing as angels in the Celestial Realm, the brothers have been assigned to watch over you to guide and protect you. How they do so is up to their discretion. (And if they fall in love with you, well...)

Note: gender neutral headcanons; if i had to choose a timeline, satan exists but belphie doesnt hate humans yet and lilith is alive 🤪, the boys retained their personalities that we all know and love -- it really just be them with guardian angel duties--- bonus angel is Lilith ;)

inspiration from [link] and their other angel!au videos (they’re all adults in this post btw) and [link] (yes just this post; apparently my guardian angel Lucifer is in awe of me... for being dumb as FUCK--)

Lucifer

a little affronted he has to take time to look after a human as a seraph but doesn't vocalize it as much since it's direct orders from his father

isn't one to directly intervene in your life much because he doesn't see the need to nor does he want to; a little haughty ngl about being an angel and you being a human

there is no guideline to being a guardian angel and making sure you don’t die before your time is his Main Priority

he's not going to stop you from eating a whole family sized Dorito bag by yourself or from staying awake till 4am-- those bad decisions are on YOU

finds a little pleasure from seeing the consequences of your actions for a while, but eventually just judges you for everything you do

"why aren't you studying? isn't the midterm tomorrow?"

"when was the last time this human ate?"

"why are you dating that person?"

grumbles over you and your life choices, but is now just actually concerned and hoping you'll be able to make better choices for your own health and happiness; he is now officially Invested as Guardian Angel, don’t you dare laugh at him Michael

if he does utilize his powers to influence you, it comes in subtle hints-- the wind blowing in your hair so you look a certain direction, a sudden bright light to wake you up so you sleep properly in a bed and not a desk... maybe appearing in your room for just a moment to place a blanket over your shoulders

realizes he has… feelings when you perform a good deed or grow as a person and he feels immensely proud and happy for you; has to really keep himself in check to not intervene in your life in more menial, though still helpful, ways

humbled by your growth and change as you become a better person

finally reveals himself to you (by accident) when he has to physically come and save you from danger and then proceeds to yell at you in anger (read: worry) about safety and doesn’t leave your side

Mammon

similarly to Lucifer, grumbles about having to take time to babysit a human but quickly becomes invested in your life at record speed (typical Mammon)

unnecessarily and excessively worried at times even for things that isn't actually putting you in danger

"WHAT THE HELL HUMAN, LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET--"

"NO NO NO, BRING YOUR PEPPER SPRAY WITH YOU! I don't care if you’re just walking to the adjacent apartment, BRING IT!"

eventually just ends up storming down to the human realm and """attempts""" to be subtle

if you placed the spray on the table, you turn and it's in your bag again. weird.

pretty sure you could have done a pretty good paranormal activity video with the weird stuff happening in your life when mammon is not-so-secretly intervening in your life

attempts do not last long because mammon's patience grows thin and he suddenly pops into your life and demand you be more careful

probably meets you by slapping your hand away from buying another random but expensive plushie even though you can barely afford it and you just stare at him like he's crazy as he explains that he's your guardian angel

'My Guardian Angel as My Roommate' becomes the title of your life or alternatively 'My Guardian Angel and I are Both Idiots'

the genre of your life is now officially a rom com

his main excuse for being constantly at your side (and it's NOT because he likes you a lot) is "how else am I gonna be prepared to protect you from anything that wants to hurt you?? you would have died 1000x over without me" which is a lie but it's okay he pays rent

hold his hand and tell him it’s so you don’t get lost and he’ll blush but never let go of your hand

Leviathan

life is a simulation

or rather, your life is

once he gets assigned to you, he observes you for a while-- and it looked like he was going to leave you be for the most part, when one Bad Choice has him popping up right in front of you

he slaps away the tub of ice cream you were gonna binge eat

"human, stop eating that crap! your stats are gonna suffer!!!"

super insistent in telling you to do something that good for you and is pretty stubborn when it comes to decisions that benefit your health and career

"noob, hurry up and level up your intelligence or you're gonna fail your exams"

"is life a game to you"

"yes, and you are losing. but have no fear, I am your walkthrough."

joking aside, Levi is pretty supportive of you, in the way Belphie is to his human-- he just words things in gaming terms like stats, energy, leveling up, exp

did not expect to get gratitude from this gig, but when you express your true appreciation for his care, he doesn't know what to do (starts crying maybe?)

his advice starts veering away from just lifestyle and health but to more human aspects; he offers a listening ear and supportive compliments whenever needed

because it turns out he cares for you a whole lot more than if this was really all just a game to him and ends up caring about your general happiness and is more considerate about your feelings

Finds himself being super casual with you and talking about your favorite show and has to catch himself from speaking so quickly-- can’t have the human thinking he… adores you

Satan

has no qualms with coming to the human realm to watch over you, but is fine with not immediately being a part of your life or intervening as much as Mammon or Belphie

ironically, as a man who was originally never born as an angel, he does his duties in a manner most befitting manner of one

subtly inserts himself into small parts of your life, persisting off small interactions

he's the guy at the counter when you needed to find a book, he's the one who picks up your hydroflask and returns it to the lost and found, he's the one telling you your backpack is open before anything spills out

he doesn't know but you jokingly dub him your guardian angel, even if you don't know who he actually is but never have the courage to speak up-- also mainly because he flits in and out of your life so fast you don’t even have the chance to say “oh, by the way, what’s your name?”

Satan is content with how he is more of a passing moment in your life, so this way you can still live your life the way you want it without much interference from an outside source because he respects your choices and the concept of free will that all humans have

truly believes that the best course of action and his duty as your guardian angel is to see you live your life the way you want to-- and if can help out a little or give you a little nudge in the right way, then that’s fine by him

Prefers to be on the sidelines and watch you become your own person and-- well, it’s a bit hard not getting attached to you when he sees you trip over yourself over someone you like or help someone out with their books when they dropped them

eventually does have to step in in a more meaningful way when you accidentally endanger yourself and he wards it off or catches you before you hurt yourself

at that point it was hard to pretend not being a part of your life when he's helped you so often-- and the fact that you're infatuated with him and asked him out

(he probably doesn't even realize how suave and prince charming he looks lmao)

Asmodeus

chooses to watch over you from above more but doesn't mind just popping down to the human realm just to have some fun at the same event you're in

lives through all your moments with you; laughs when you laugh and cries when you cry and genuinely enjoys seeing you go through life, living and learning

generally leaves you to your own devices unless there's something really pressing

utterly cannot stop himself from intervening if you have doubts about yourself or if you struggle with self-love

loves appearing in dreams to dish out advice and tell you to love yourself, forgive yourself more, and to seek happiness because you deserve it

you don't remember the dreams exactly, but you do remember the sentiment within it and sometimes the fuzzy image of a beautiful angel you aren't sure you've seen irl but you chalk it up to seeing the face of strangers you’ve seen (which is... technically true)

dreams are his main way of communicating with you, and he also just thinks the mystery and anonymity is kinda exciting-- but sometimes he just spends a lot of your dreams just talking to you and getting to know you more intimately and seeing things from your perspective

sometimes enjoys being in your lucid dreams when you’re pretty aware and you go on some really whacky dream-induced adventure

loves you like no other and truly wishes the best for you

accidentally reveals himself to you during a party where you meet face to face

"I've feel like I've seen you before…"

"Haha, well that's because I've been in your dreams! They were pretty pleasant weren't they?"

you think he’s kidding for a long time-- and honestly he’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s your Guardian Angel, considering he tells you all the time “Honey, I’m you’re Guardian Angel” or “Of course I’m here for you! I’m your Guardian Angel!”

but the way he says it makes it feel like that’s just a nickname, not an official TITLE

floored when you actually see his WINGS and turns out you’ve been in love with an actually angel this entire time

Beelzebub

similar to Asmo and Satan, he doesn't really feel the need to insert himself into your life

instead, he's wherever you are… but in the background, eating at a table in a far corner or walking casually across the street from where you are

very inconspicuous and surprisingly good at keeping a distance, whether he intends to or not

he just looks very natural doing whatever he is doing at any time, but often accidentally ends up in the background of a photo or selfie without people noticing

as your Guardian Angel, he watches over you by stopping anyone with ill intent from approaching you... like the obvious ones like mugging and stuff; he wishes he could protect you from bad people too but he respectfully keeps his distance and allows you to make mistakes and grow from it

it infuriates him when people take advantage of your kindness

(though if the person that hurt you emotionally meets Beel in an alley...)

is very taken aback when YOU are the one approaching HIM asking for the time or if you could grab something on the high shelf for you

actually pretty flustered when you do interact with him because he was distracted doing other stuff he never expected you to notice him

Beel is the definition of a Guardian Angel-- a sentinel, standing on guard to protect you from danger and physical harm-- and he does exactly that when the time comes

most likely to save you from something dramatic like a car incoming or a fight

doesn't really understand why you trust him so easily or so wholeheartedly even after he saved you because he thought he would look intimidating

(he did, until you asked him for the time and he spoke with his mouth full of burgers or stammered out a 'you're welcome' when you smiled at him at the library)

Beel doesn't know until much later that he's dubbed as your gentle giant

Belphegor

like some of the others, doesn't like to influence your choices as much-- not because of free will or anything like that, but because he likes humans because of who they are and what they do

(and also he’s too lazy to be hovering around you trying to control your every move anyhow)

and man are humans, especially you, interesting

why is that human drinking from that person's navel? no clue but it looks fun

why is that human consuming whipped cheese with waffles? no idea, but he wouldn't get this much free entertainment without it

has no problems integrating himself into your life as your friend or roommate just to watch everything unfold in person and to tease you for your mildly questionable decisions in life

“Belphie, why didn’t you stop me from eating that last bowl of cereal?”

“Eh, I thought it would be kind of funny.”

isn't one to go out of his way to do something to influence you, but he does encourage you to do the things you want to do, whether they be good or mildly questionable ones-- but especially the fun ones like joining a new club or going to town to have fun (which you do drag him along to every time)

does steer you away from making Bad Decisions like murder or whatever, but he thinks most choices are pretty neutral and does help you process the consequences, both good and bad, of what happened

so he's integrated himself as your friend, offers advice and supports your decisions no matter what, and subtly looks out for you… and he's surprised when one day you confess to him that you like him???

this was NOT part of the plan but he would be lying to himself if he said he didn't end up falling for you too after seeing all sides of you and watching you grow as a person

Lilith

watches more from afar, because as much as she loves humans like Belphie, she is a little shy about meeting you

curiosity does triumph over shyness eventually, and she does surveillance distantly like Beel before winding up being directly in your life like Belphie (siblings am i right)

her brothers would keep trying to give her input on how she should interact with you or guide you but she brushes them away with a huff because she thinks she's doing a fine job thank you very much!

or so she's pretty sure, considering you're hanging out with her, seriously listening to her advice, buying her gifts... cuddling in bed with her if you’re attracted to her

if you do like her and want to date her, she has to be ready to somehow defend you from the only danger in your life, which turns out to be her brothers

if not, you two live happy lives as the best of friends, though the brothers can never be too careful with their darling sister

likes updating about your life to her brothers and they're lowkey jealous

doesn’t actually have to reveal herself as an angel unless you somehow find out... or because Mammon and Lucifer come down and threatens bodily harm if you hurt Lilith (wait, who’s watching over who now??)

hold up this is setting up for exactly what happens in the canon storyline

#obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #this is my.... fourth time trying to get the tags to work #still i liked writing this and i hope people enjoy it too :'))

503 notes · View notes

immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years ago

Text

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Best (and By That, I Mean Personal Favorite) Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug

Alright, I already covered what I considered to be the worst Miraculous Ladybug episodes in two parts, and now it’s time to talk about the what I consider to be the best Miraculous Ladybug episodes before I talk about... him...

I’m only putting one rule in place for this list. I'm going to try and list episodes with good qualities other than “cool-looking Akuma and awesome fight scenes”, and focus on other details like character moments and story.

Other than that, let’s get started.

These are the Top 10 Best Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (in my personal opinion because your opinion is also valid)

#10: Mr. Pigeon

While Marinette works on sketching a design for a hat for a fashion contest where the winning design will be worn by Adrien (a rare example where the “Marinette does a thing to impress Adrien” plot actually works), a birdwatcher who loves feeding pigeons in the park is told off by the only police officer in Paris, causing him to get akumatized into the titular Mr. Pigeon, who has control over all of the pigeons in the city.

And by God, does this episode have fun with the concept.

In addition to constantly mimicking pigeon cries, Mr. Pigeon's movements are just so entertaining to watch, only aided by the creative ways he controls the flocks of pigeons.

I'm not kidding when at one point, Mr. Pigeon traps Ladybug and Cat Noir in a cage, and threatens to have his pigeons crap on them unless they hand over their Miraculous. Yeah.

This is one of the episodes that really set the standards for how outlandish the Akumas in Miraculous Ladybug could get. It kind of reminds me of an episode of the original Ultraman, where the SSSP has to find a way to move an incredibly heavy monster using increasingly abnormal strategies, like inflating it with air so it'll float like a balloon. It's clear it isn't taking itself too seriously, so the audience shouldn't either.

Admittedly, Cat Noir's feather allergy feels shoehorned in, and is only included to increase conflict, and you would think it would come up when Mayura, a bird-themed supervillain appears in the third season. But then again, that's just a minor nitpick.

It's just a really fun episode, and I wish we could see Ladybug and Cat Noir fight Mr. Pigeon again that isn't used for a cheap gag.

#9: The Puppeteer

After being told by her mom that she can't have a Ladybug doll made by Marinette, young Manon is Akumatized into the Puppeteer. But obviously, you can't have our heroes beating up a five-year-old, so instead, the Puppeteer has the power to exact control over past Akuma victims as long as she has the doll made by Marinette. So Ladybug and Cat Noir have to face off against Lady Wifi, the Evillustrator, and Rogercop, before the Puppeteer gets her hands on the dolls Marinette made of the two heroes and take control of them as well.

It's still kind of funny to think about the fact that of all the Akumas to become a huge threat to Ladybug and Cat Noir, it's a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. And like with “Mr. Pigeon”, the episode has a lot of fun with the concept, best reflected in the voice acting. You can tell that Carrie Keranen is having so much fun this episode with the stuff she says as Lady Wifi.

The fact that someone who was actually a major threat to the heroes with how she was able to easily outsmart them and also came really close to getting their Miraculous is now acting like a little kid using phrases like “super duper sorry” is even more hilarious.

I'm still a little confused as why of all the past villains, it's Evillustrator and Rogercop that get to come back, and I wish they had gotten more to say, but it's still a treat to see Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting four villains at once, especially since this was before “Heroes Day”.

#8: Sapotis

Hawkmoth akumatizes Alya's little sisters into Sapotis (supposedly based off a folktale, but I can't find anything about it online), who have the power to multiply and easily overwhelm Ladybug and Cat Noir, forcing Ladybug to recruit Alya to become a third hero, Rena Rouge.

I've been a little negative about Alya in the past, but this episode gives her some major character growth. One of the biggest problems I had with her character in Season 1 is how often she tried to figure out Ladybug's identity... despite claiming to be a huge superhero fan, who should know why superheroes keep their identities a secret. Thankfully, this episode mostly puts an end to this idea.

The episode opens with Marinette giving Alya some reasons why Ladybug would keep her identity a secret, and it actually plays into the episode.

Putting aside the stupid Rent-A-Miraculous system introduced in this episode, the idea of keeping secrets and how necessary they can be sometimes is reflected after the battle where Alya is hesitant at first to give up her Miraculous, but eventually concedes and keeps her identity a secret from Marinette (who ironically knows, but that's not important).

Even without that, this episode still has a lot of action with the three heroes fighting their way through an army of Sapotis, with plenty of banter during said action. Hell, at one point, Cat Noir says “gotta catch 'em all”. I don't have a joke here, that's just brilliant.

Out of all the introductory hero episodes, this one easily sticks out among most of them.

(Don’t worry, I’m going to talk about Rena Rouge’s character design in a later post.)

#7: Guitar Villain

I said before in an earlier post that Jagged Stone is one of my favorite characters in Miraculous Ladybug, so it's obvious that the episode where he gets akumatized would be on this list.

After a disagreement with his manager about trying to mimic the popular singer XY (who ironically lacks a Y chromosome), Jagged is akumatized into Guitar Villain, a rock star with a pet dragon who forces everyone to listen to his Awesome Solo (yes, he names his attacks too) to dance uncontrollably.

Honestly, there's not much I can really say about this episode. It's Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting a rock star who flies around on a goddamn dragon. That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen! Even the way they defeat him (which I won’t give away) is a fun jab at rock stars.

Admittedly, the episode does border on grouchy old man territory sometimes by complaining about how bad today's music is with the way they portray XY as a whiny and egotistical coward, but after watching “Silencer”, you'll be glad everyone hates him.

Overall, it's a rockingly awesome episode.

#6: The Dark Owl

Mr. Damocles, the principal of Marinette and Adrien's school, is akumatized into the Dark Owl, a corrupted version of his favorite comic book superhero (who would later turn out to be real in the New York special, but I don't want to acknowledge that), who uses his high-tech gadgets to trap Ladybug and Cat Noir, putting them in one of their toughest binds yet.

I'm a huge fan of the Adam West Batman show, so you could probably guess why it's on this list. This episode really feels like an episode of that show with how goofy and over the top everything is. Obviously, this episode has a few Batman references thrown in (even an Incredibles reference at one point), and they're all hilarious.

I just love how complex Dark Owl's traps for Ladybug and Cat Noir are, and the fact that he actually manages to outsmart them at one point. Like seriously, have you ever heard of a death trap that involves drowning someone in whipped cream? That’s totally something you’d see the Joker setting up.

I don't really want to give away the ending (which is why this part is so short), because I think it's a really clever resolution that you should check out for yourself.

#5: Gorizilla

Hawkmoth akumatizes Adrien's bodyguard into Gorizilla, whose sole purpose is to protect Adrien. His motivation? To see if Adrien is actually Cat Noir or not. So Adrien has to avoid this gigantic gorilla's wrath with Marinette, all while trying to catch a movie his late mother was in.

See this? This is Adrienette done right. This is the kind of interaction I like when it comes to romance. Marinette and Adrien spend a few scenes with each other avoiding Adrien's crazy fanbase, and Marinette doesn't stammer half of her words. Even when she interacts with Adrien as Ladybug, she still remains confident, and Adrien trusts her judgment when it looks like he might fall. I don't just want Marinette and Adrien to cuddle with each other or declare their love for each other when they get their memories wiped. I want them to interact like human beings before they actually start a relationship, and this episode is a good example of it.

Adrien also gets some good focus with the way he views his relationship with his parents, as does Gabriel with his relationship with his son. Granted, he's taking a pretty huge gamble trying to kill Adrien to see if he's Cat Noir or not as opposed to just... taking off his ring while he sleeps. Can we at least admit he's trying?

I feel they could have done more with the King Kong homage (guess who I'm talking about?), but I can understand there wasn't enough time to focus on that. It's still an important episode to watch for plot and character growth that will barely be acknowledged in later episodes.

#4: Sandboy

tHe SaNdBoY hAs ChEcKeD iN. nOw NiGhTmArEs CaN bEgIn.

Now that we got that obvious joke out of the way, let's talk about one of the most creative episodes of the show.

Tikki and Plagg, Marinette and Adrien's Kwamis (the magical beings that power their Miraculous) take part in a ritual with the other Kwamis inside Master Fu's Miracle Box to contact Nooroo, Hawkmoth's Kwami, on his birthday and get an idea of where he is. Unfortunately, Hawkmoth chooses to akumatize someone during the ritual, leaving Marinette and Adrien helpless to fight back against Sandboy, an Akuma with the power to make their worst fears come true.

I said before in my worst list when talking about “Ladybug” that there was too much going on for one episode, what with Marinette's expulsion, the attempted Scarletmoth attack, and the fake Ladybug plotlines generally being rushed through. This episode is basically the opposite of that (ironically, they're both the penultimate episodes of their respective seasons).

The Kwami ritual and the Akuma attack are perfectly staged together so one affects the other. Not only do the Kwamis have to risk aborting their ritual to reach Nooroo in order to fight the Akuma, but Marinette and Adrien have to deal without fighting off Sandboy's nightmares on their own. Both plots balance each other out into a well-crafted story.

This is also one of the only episodes in the show where the Akuma of the week isn't the man focus. Here, we don't even see what happens to get the kid akumatized into Sandboy, and instead, Gabriel senses someone with negative emotions and akumatizes the kid offscreen. This works, because it doesn't distract from the main plot too much.

Even Marinette and Adrien's worst fears beautifully contrast each other, with both managing to be unsettling in different ways, even if they both have different tones. While Adrien's worst fear is being imprisoned in his own room (the fear only made worse with Plagg's absence), Marinette's worst fear is... the real star of the episode. Ladies and Gentlemen, I think you all know who I'm talking about.

You can tell the animators had a field day with animating Nightmare Adrien. Just look at the way he moves around and the faces he makes. It manages to be terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Bryce Papenbrook's performance only makes it better, cementing this as the highlight of the episode.

This episode also does a good job at foreshadowing the main plot for Season 3 with Hawkmoth finding out about the other Kwamis and by extension, more Miraculous.

It's got plot, comedy, good action, and Nightmare Adrien, so how can you turn this episode down?

And no, I'm not talking about Nightmare Ladybug, mainly because I'm tired of all the evil doppelgangers from the worst list.

#3: Startrain

Yes, believe it or not, I managed to find a Season 3 episode that wasn't complete garbage, and spoiler alert, this isn't the only one.

Marinette and Adrien's class goes on a field trip to London by taking the train, until the driver is akumatized into Startrain, who wants to escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE! So Ladybug and Cat Noir have to defeat Startrain while also finding a way to bring everyone on the train back home.

I like how this episode plays with the usual Akuma of the week formula. Unlike every other Akuma they've fought, Cat Noir points out that if they beat Startrain, everyone will die, so they have to be more strategic in their approach. They don't even fight Startrain for most of the episode, as they have to make their way to the front of the train to confront the Akuma. The action in this episode is very creative and really takes advantage of zero gravity, only aided by the design of the futuristic train the episode takes place in.

The new hero introduced, Pegasus (AKA Max, another student in Marinette and Adrien's class), is also really cool, being very intelligent and helping out the heroes progress through the train even before he gets the Horse Miraculous. It makes sense that his intelligence would be used rather than just his powers in this situation.

There are even some good character moments too. For once, Master Fu does something smart and loans the Horse Miraculous (which has the power of teleportation) to Marinette so she can still go on the class trip, trusting her and actually letting her have a life. It was also nice to see Alya stick up for Marinette by keeping Lila from interrupting her nap with Adrien.

This episode is basically like a refreshing glass of water to enjoy during the garbage fire that was Season 3.

(I’m going to talk about Pegasus’ character design later on too, don’t worry)

#2: Silencer

Lukanette shippers, ASSEMBLE!

Music producer Bob Roth and his son XY hold a contest for young artists to show off their skills, and Kitty Section, a band composed of several recurring characters, decides to enter, with Marinette helping to design their costumes. But as soon as they submit their video, they find out that XY copied their style, naturally pissing the band off.

Marinette and the lead guitarist of Kitty Section, Luka, confront Bob Roth and XY, who threaten to ruin their careers by claiming that they ripped off XY. Seeing Marinette getting threatened is more than enough for Hawkmoth to akumatize Luka into Silencer, who naturally has the power to silence and mimic the voices of others.

I talked about Luka and his relationship with Marinette in an earlier post (specifically the one where Astruc claimed that the fandom growing to like Luka counted as character development), and I said that this was one of the few good episodes this season because of their interactions. This episode basically made me realize how much Luka cares for Marinette, and the episode gives plenty of time to show the two spending time together and growing closer. It's basically everything “Oni-Chan” should have been about, giving some depth to Luka and not portraying him as a crazy person like they did with Kagami in that episode.

Silencer is also one of the more creatively designed villains this season, and has a really creative approach to achieving his goals. While the ability to steal and imitate someone's voice seems mundane compared to control over the weather, or making nightmares come to life, it's used very effectively. Silencer basically tricks the police into arresting Bob Roth while imitating the mayor's voice, and he threatens to make his life a living hell by using the connections to the voices he's stolen. Even with the hand puppet gesture, it's still unsettling to have Silencer speak in all these voices, and it would make for a really interesting horror movie.

Even Ladybug and Cat Noir's interactions are back to their Season 1 levels of enjoyment. Even though Silencer took her voice, Ladybug just makes so many expressions that do a great job at describing her feelings, which naturally plays off Cat Noir's motormouth tendencies. Whenever Cat Noir jokes about Ladybug's condition, he is rightfully called out on it and is reprimanded in some way, my favorite being when Ladybug uses her yo-yo to hit Cat Noir on the head to shut him up. Even putting aside that, they still work well together this episode and really feel like equals. I also love their silent fist bump when Bob Roth is exposed.

Again, the episode still takes the time to go on about how unoriginal today's musicians are, and how they lack artistic creativity and all that crap. Look, given how ham-fisted the writing in this show can get, are you surprised the commentary isn't subtle?

Even putting aside how much this episode made me appreciate Lukanette, it still has a lot of great moments that aren't even related to the ship itself, which is a real testament to how this show can perfectly balance romance and story when it's done right. Now if only the show could try this much with Adrienette, then people wouldn't hate the main pairing of the show this much.

#1: The Collector

Taking place immediately after the Season 1 finale, Marinette meets Master Fu and discusses the book she found depicting past Miraculous users. Marinette theorizes that since the book was in the Agreste mansion, Gabriel could be Hawkmoth. And to the surprise of absolutely no one, she's right, and in order to draw off suspicion, Gabriel akumatizes himself into the Collector.

This episode has several good writing decisions for both sides, and the choices the characters make feel natural. Gabriel akumatizing himself is such a smart move, and so is what Marinette and Master Fu do with the book at the end. This episode does a great job setting up future plot threads and establishes Master Fu's character and the mystery associated with him.

The Collector is a visually stunning villain, and his powers are really creative, leading to a great fight with Ladybug and Cat Noir, who use a great strategy to outsmart him. I also love how over the top he is in order to make the heroes believe that he's working for Hawkmoth, all with a devious smile on his face.

This was also the episode that really got me into Miraculous Ladybug as a whole. I checked out the first season on a whim after it was mentioned in a Pan Pizza video, but it was during the hiatus between seasons, and I hadn't really started using Tumblr yet, so it mostly stayed off my radar. When Season 2 started however, I really got invested in the story, and the way this episode turned out was a big reason why. I wondered what it would be like when Adrien finds out his own father is Hawkmoth, and how the story would play out after the reveal.

Despite what it led up to, I still consider “The Collector” to be my favorite episode of Miraculous Ladybug.

Well, now that I talked about that, not it's time to talk about what I consider to be the worst episode of Miraculous Ladybug, “Felix”. God help me...

109 notes · View notes

shinjukuspiritcommittee · 4 years ago

Text

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

37 notes · View notes

luxurystark-jackson · 4 years ago

Text

ALRIGHT LADS, LADIES AND THE REST OF THE LOT, I PRESENT TO YOU, MY FIRST (and probably last) *vigourous flourish* PARLEY/PARKNER ONESHOT: TIME IN A BOTTLE! *curtains open, applause track plays in the background*

If I could make days last forever If words could make wishes come true I'd save everyday like a treasure and then Again, I would spend them with you

Peter noticed the blonde watching him. At first, he thought that somebody was tracking him. Peter was Spider-Man, so he was very wary of such things, in case some villain tried to terrorise the city after putting him out of action.

After the first month, he decided that if a villain wanted to get rid of him, they wouldn't wait so long, and didn't think much of his stalker. He had a little crush on him as well. The boy was very attractive, with blonde curls and strikingly blue eyes. Those blue eyes appeared in his dreams quite a lot.

However, Peter knew that he couldn't be in love. His duties as Spider-Man made anyone he cared about in danger. He didn't want to put another innocent person in danger, not again.

But there never seems to be enough time To do the things you wanna do, once you find them Once you find them

Harley had finally found out the boy's name: Peter Parker. The name lived rent-free in his mind, taking up more and more space in his mind. Peter Parker. Harley wanted to be a part of his life, but he didn't know how to approach him.

He was constantly wondering how to approach Peter, never being able to make his mind up. Should he casually say 'hi' or should he express his feelings? He knew barely anything about Peter, but he still felt like he'd known him for years.

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I wanna go through time with Through time with

Peter wanted to go talk to the boy, who he'd found out was called Harley Keener. He obsessed over the name; it fit him so well. His mind constantly floated to the piercingly blue eyes, feeling as if they stared through his soul.

Peter didn't want to put Harley in danger as well, since a villain could easily try to hurt him if he wanted to bait Peter. His mind warred against itself: one side wanted love to prevail, the other side wanted to keep Harley safe, and this battle took over Peter's mind constantly, both sides having equally strong attacks.

Peter knew he couldn't go on like this, especially since he had plenty on his plate: along with Spider-Man, he had school, homework, doing chores when Aunt May had to work overtime and more. His mind was overloaded with Harley, all regular thoughts pushed to the side. Harley was the centre of it all, on the throne that existed within Peter's mind, having a powerful hold over Peter's heart.

If I could save time in a bottle The first thing that I'd like to do Is to save every day till eternity passes away Just to spend them with you

Harley had been living at Stark tower since he was 10 (his parents died in a plane crash), and it was with great surprise that he saw familiar brunette curls walking into one of the labs. He noticed that Tony was in front of the person, talking to him about something to do with spiders?

Harley was extremely sure that he knew those curls, and raced after them before they got away. He stumbled as he finally had a full view of the person, the beautiful chocolate brown eyes and the perfect curls were unmistakable: Peter was here.

He stopped suddenly as he almost fell into Tony. Peter turned and looked around at him, shock clearly painted across his features. Tony looked between the two boys, smirked, and started talking,

"Peter, this is Harley. Harley, this is one of my new interns, Peter"

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I wanna go through time with

Peter was amazed, to say the least. He'd never expected to see Harley at Stark tower. Harley's strikingly blue eyes watched him with interest and amazement. Mr Stark had starting talking about how Harley was here, but the only information that Peter consumed was that Harley lived at the tower. He saw Mr Stark look knowingly between the pair and walk off, muttering something about how he needed to check something in the other lab.

Harley started talking first.

"Are you alright? You look kinda shocked, darlin'."

Peter was taken aback slightly by the southern accent, but he felt a strange warmth inside at "darlin'".

"I- I'm fine. Didn't know that there were any other teens here, that's all."

Harley grinned sheepishly, which made him look adorable, Peter thought. He blushed, feeling awkward. For once, he could sense peace in his mind. The battle had stopped suddenly.

"Uh, I don't know if you know this, but I've seen you before, quite a lot" Harley mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So have I" Peter could feel himself blushing harder.

"Well... I kinda like you"

Peter couldn't believe it. His crush liked him?

"I kinda like you too" Peter squeaked out, the heat of his cheeks had started to become unbearably high.

"Do you want to go... on a date?"

Peter didn't respond verbally. He went up and hugged Harley, who seemed to have turned to stone. A very warm stone. He tilted his head up and their lips met; Peter felt a sudden explosion of feelings burst in his mind, as if someone had left an airtight bag of them in there. He felt warm, the warmth of his cheeks had resided but he was gripping tightly onto Harley, who was very warm. They broke apart, the piercing blue eyes that had consistently appeared in his dreams looked into his own, the happiness in them seemed to radiate all around him.

"Is that a yes then?"

"Of course it's a yes, dummy" Peter laughed playfully.

Harley grinned at him mischievously, and bent down, whispering into Peter's ear "How about right now?"

Through time with Through time with

As you can see, IT IS LONGGGGGG (from normal tumblr standards) and this is because I copied and pasted it off from my Wattpad oneshots book. This was the only oneshot I came up with so instead of keeping that book there, I decided to delete it and move the single oneshot to Tumblr. That’s my big post of this week (maybe) and yeah it’s officially 2am. Sayonara!

#Parkner #Oneshots #Books #peter parker #peter Parker fluff #harley keener #wattpad #comesnfrom wattpad #Anyways hope y’all like it #Gnight :D

16 notes · View notes

browniefox · 4 years ago

Text

Waking from the Long Winter

Ace Attorney - 5K Words

Phoenix Wright and a few moments during the ten weeks it takes to receive results from the Bar Exam.

A one-shot written solely for the half-joke I make within the first couple paragraphs lol. Character exploration of Phoenix finding himself again. Hinted narumitsu but just hinted.

oOo

Phoenix is sure there’s a joke here, somewhere.

Something about a lawyer walking into a bar, and then knowing to duck the second time. Or maybe not ducking, but running into it at top speed. Or trying to vault over the bar and getting his feet caught on it and falling on his face instead. There’s something there, he’s sure of it. More than anything, however, Phoenix wishes his brain would focus on the Actual Bar Exam instead of trying to make this stupid joke work.

He took the bar once before, of course. His memory of having done so, however, is shaky at best. Trying to look back at it, it’s nothing more than two days of pure stress. If he tries to pin the experience down to a word, it's just a really long and drawn out scream.

Taking the bar the second time, ten years later, is… different.

Phoenix studied, of course. Apollo had still had his flashcards and big binder full of notes. Slow days in the office were often punctuated with spontaneous quizzing on terms and laws and procedures. He’d spent late nights reading big law books and then falling asleep on top of them like he was in college again. He sat in on a lot of trials, reviewing the roles of the people in the court.

Now that he’s finally actually taking the Bar, it’s like a math test.

Obvious not as far as subject matter went. But it reminds him strongly of what taking a math test back in middle/high school had been like. Going into it scared and then being surprised by how quickly and easily he seemed to go through the questions. Of course, that also always ended with him getting the test back with a million red marks that revealed the test hadn’t been easy, he’d just been dumb.

For the first five minutes, nerves making Phoenix fidgety, the Bar exam had been scary and the words had refused to form comprehensive sentences. He’s pretty sure he almost had a panic attack. But then the five minutes pass, and Phoenix takes a few deep breaths, and when he opens his eyes again, he realizes he actually does know this stuff.

He was a lawyer, once, seven years ago. It feels like that should be more than enough time for him to have forgotten what being one was like, for all of the words to have become greek to him once more. And yet, his previous cases stick out to him on the page. Yes, he remembers using evidence law for the Skye case, he knows this. Ah, yes, he remembers studying this case because it reminds him of the Powers one. There’s even a question about spirit mediums at one point and Phoenix almost laughs out loud.

It probably also doesn’t hurt that he’d kept his enemies close during his disbarment, as well as working on MASON.

Kristoph had often asked for Phoenix’s opinion on cases, setting out the evidence and asking for the ex-lawyer’s input and expertise. He wonders if it was supposed to sting, if Kristoph had been trying to rub salt into the wound. If so, he had succeeded, sometimes. Other times, it’d been nice to fall back into those familiar ways of thinking, of trying to piece together a story, of trying to find justice.

Phoenix would never ever thank Kristoph for anything ever, but he did admit there were unexpected rewards for having put up with him for so long.

oOo

Paying for a barber hasn’t exactly been in the budget for years.

Not that there weren’t places you could get a haircut at fairly cheap, but every single dollar and penny counted. Even the months where things looked alright, where there was a comfortable sum left over after rent and taxes and food, most of it was set aside for when the rough times would return. They always did.

“Just a trim?” Trucy asks. She wears the fake mustache she insists on wearing every time he asks her to cut his hair. Her own was just trimmed by him, the floor littered with split ends. There’s layers throughout it, and now that it’s started to dry back out he can see his handiwork and nods to himself. The days of terrible and uneven cuts while trying to watch a video tutorial are well behind both of them, years of practice instead showing through.

The swivel chair from the desk has been moved into the bathroom and Phoenix looks at himself in the mirror, his hair for once not bunched up inside of his beanie. It’s long enough to pull back with a hair tie. Trucy is already gearing up to cut off an inch, the same inch she cuts off every time to keep it from getting too long. For years, that’s been the only reason to cut his hair. He runs his fingers through it. It’s to his shoulders right now and he blinks when he realizes that he hates it.

He hates how the long strands get in his face. He hates how sometimes he pulls his beanie off and his hair is staticy. He hates how if he doesn’t pull it back while cooking, if he has something on his hands, he has to awkwardly flick his head in usually-futile attempts to get the hair out of the way.

He hates it and he’s hated it for a while. But for some reason, every time before now, it’s felt easier and safer to keep it long and annoying.

“Actually,” He says, and then hesitates. He’s had his hair like this for so long now, and shorter hair… He steels himself and straightens a bit, “Actually, Truce, could you go a little shorter this time? Just, you know, a little-”

“Don’t worry, daddy, leave it to me!”

There’s a mischievous little glint in her eyes and Phoenix almost changes his mind, but she’s already spun the chair around and started cutting. Phoenix closes his eyes and waits. Trucy hums as she cuts his hair, and usually she does little tricks with the scissors, but this time she’s just cutting. He tries not to think about how close to his head the scissors sound, how much she must be cutting off. He’d asked her to, and he hates how long it was, and yet now that it’s too late to change his mind he’s nervous.

“Alright!” Trucy chirps and spins him back around to face the mirror. Phoenix opens his eyes.

A young lawyer, full of hope and trust and pure stubbornness, stares back at him.

And then he blinks, and the man has little tired wrinkles around his eyes and at the corners of his mouth and prominently between his eyebrows. He still has the couple-day-old stubble that he had yet to shave. There’s dark shadows under his eyes. He runs a hand through his hair. It spikes up in the back, just like it used to, just like it always has, like how his mom used to hate and try in vain to flatten down.

“Well, what do you think?” Trucy beams at him.

“It’s perfect.” He says.

And it’s true.

oOo

Phoenix has never owned a perfectly tailored suit in his life. He never found an issue with this. Off the rack was just fine, and a lot cheaper, and you didn’t have to worry about anything happening to it.

Apparently Miles thought that this was an issue.

Two weeks after Phoenix took the bar, Miles drags him to get a new suit. Phoenix stresses that his old suit was perfectly fine. He at least assumes it's fine. It is shoved somewhere near the back of his closet and by now is probably made up of as much dust as fabric. But it should still looks like a suit, and he can probably send it to the dry cleaners or something if he ever needs it.

Still, Miles insists on dragging him to get a new suit.

The people there all recognize Miles right of the bat, greeting him as ‘Mr. Edgeworth’, with a lot of ‘So good to see you again’ and ‘Are you here for the usual’ and ‘How is dear Ms. Von Karma doing’. His answers are amicable enough: ‘It’s nice to be back in the country.’ ‘No, not today, I’m here for my friend.’ ‘Franziska is doing well, thank you.’

Phoenix sees how they look at him when they don’t think he can see them. They don’t know that Phoenix is well used to being on guard constantly, no matter the time or place. He cedes that maybe he should’ve worn something today other than his hoodie and beanie and flip flops, especially with how the ‘flip-flop-flip-flop’ is just shy of echoing throughout the large store. He knows they must look an interesting pair, prim and perfect well put together Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth next to disbarred pianist and poker player Phoenix Wright. He doesn’t let it bother him as Miles picks around the room, finding suits that he approves of.

There’s too many shades of blue. Half the time, Miles holds up two and asks which one Phoenix likes more, and they look exactly the same. Still, they eventually end up with a few different ones for Phoenix to try on, and Miles and one of the men - the tailor? Maybe? Or the owner of the store? - walk around Phoenix and critique how it looks on him and then send him back to try on another. It reminds Phoenix how much he hates shopping. The whole process of having to try things on and take them off and then repeat is just a bit too tedious for his sake.

Miles more than Phoenix decides on which suit is best out of the ones he’s picked out, and then Phoenix's measurements are taken so that it can be fixed to fit him just right.

They’re looking at the ties, the last thing to grab before they leave, when Phoenix finally says,

“I haven’t passed the Bar Exam yet.”

Miles pauses for a second, then hangs the white tie back up. He doesn’t turn to face Phoenix but his eyes do glance over.

“You took the test.” He says, and Phoenix can hear the unsaid in there. ‘You took the test, right? You didn’t lie about that? You didn’t purposely sabotage your own test? You haven’t done something incredibly stupid already, have you?’

“I did.” Phoenix nods, and means ‘I really did. I gave it my all. I tried my best, I swear it.’

“Then you’ll need a new suit.” Miles says.

“But I haven’t passed yet.”

“Mm,” Miles hums, grabbing a dark red tie and looking it over, comparing it to the swatch of fabric that matches the color of Phoenix’s new suit, “You’re not going to fail.”

“But-”

“If you fail, then you’ll still have a new suit. There’s more reasons than being an attorney to own a nice suit, you know. If you ever eat somewhere nicer than the Borsch Bowl, for one. Or I have a wide array of incessant events I’m expected to attend throughout the year. They’ll be more manageable if I have someone there with me, but there is usually a dress code. Or perhaps I’ll be in need of a co-council at some point. I could use your eyes, and lord knows they’ll let absolutely anybody co-council, qualifications be damned.”

Miles doesn’t say anything else, and neither does Phoenix. He does, however, pick a wine red tie and add it to the growing stack.

oOo

When he moves the items off of the piano, he’s careful to make sure he remembers where everything goes.

It’s his office, it’s his piano, and while maybe most of the things he takes off aren’t his they also haven’t been touched in weeks, and he doubts that Trucy or Apollo would notice anything different. Still, he feels oddly like a kid sneaking food out of the cupboards while his parents are out. Trucy is setting up for a show and Apollo is out looking at a crime scene. It’s the perfect chance.

He lifts up the covering from the keys of the piano. He sits down on the bench, and a chill rushes over him that isn’t there. He can almost hear the sound of the Borscht Bowl, the clamour of patrons. He’s played this piano so few times, he can count them on one hand. He’d given practice a couple tries when he first got hired, until it became clear that being paid not to play was probably just as lucrative - if not more so - than actually having the skill.

Phoenix rests his hands on the keys, cold ivory under his warm fingers. He’d taken classes, once, years and years ago, when he was small and young. His piano teacher then had been an old and nice woman, but she’d had to stop teaching after a few months due to health problems. He can still find middle C, and that is more or less where his skills end. Usually, when someone requests a song, he plays ‘hot cross buns’ or ‘heart and soul’ or any other classic of the sort.

This time, Phoenix lets himself bang around with wild abandon on the keys, like he had as a kid, caring little for melody or timing or anything at all. The piano is probably out of tune. Not that he can hear that sort of thing, but it's a fair and safe bet to make. The piano hasn’t been played in a long while.

He steps away for a moment and runs a finger over the spines of the books on the shelves until he came across a thin one, so thin that the spine didn’t have any kind of title, just staples holding the pages together. Some hot-shot customer had come into the Borscht Bowl, slapped the ‘Beginner’s Piano Lessons’ book on the top of the piano and declared that Phoenix was going to need it once he was beaten at poker that night.

Of course, Phoenix had won. He got to keep the book anyway. By ‘got to keep’, he meant the customer had punched Phoenix in a fit of rage after losing and had been kicked out, leaving the book behind. Phoenix had kept it.

He isn't any good at reading music, but he has the afternoon to himself. He gets out a pencil, writing the letters above the notes, counting the keys to make sure his fingers land on the right ones. It is slow, and tedious, and not something he has to do. It's something he's doing because he wants to.

oOo

Phoenix has a love-hate relationship with Parent-Teacher Conferences.

He loves to go when the teachers will tell him ‘oh, Trucy is a joy to have in class! Trucy brings such a brightness to the classroom! Trucy is brilliant, what an amazing daughter you have! She’s so talented!’ And then Phoenix gets to beam at Trucy, and Trucy gets to glow under the praise, and then he gets handed her report card that he can place on the fridge so he can look at it every morning and be filled with pride again.

He doesn’t so much like them when the teachers look at him funny.

Look, Phoenix is an adult, he can admit that his appearance took a pretty sharp decline after he was disbarred. But some days it was all he could do to put on the hoodie and beanie, and he had learned pretty early in how to rationalize it all away as ‘putting on an act’, as trying to get Kristoph to underestimate him. However, an adult man who adopted a daughter, and thus had had someone declare him fit to raise a kid, looking like he was one trip to McDonalds away from being completely broke wasn’t always the best way to present one’s self to other adults, especially ones on high alert make sure their students were in a stable living condition.

One time, Trucy had even had to warn him to clean up a bit. She’d picked up on the worried questions her teacher had been asking her, about how often she ate and what her dad did for a living. Phoenix had put on actual shoes and a button up for that PTC. The teacher had still looked at him suspiciously, but he’d done his best to exude confidence and ‘I’m perfectly capable of raising a child on my own’. He couldn’t risk losing Trucy. If he lost Trucy…

He can’t lose Trucy.

Of course, the days of those sorts of PTC’s are behind them. Now that Trucy’s in high school and has eight different teachers, PTC’s consist of going between the school’s cafeteria and library to find Trucy’s teachers, get told if she’s a good student or a distraction or doing well or doing poorly, and then heading right to the next teacher. Some teachers they just outright skip, like Trucy’s gym teachers.

“C’mon Daddy, you have to dress up too!”

Trucy spins around in her magician outfit. The straplessness of the dress made it against the school’s dress code, so she never got to wear it to classes. She’d been talking about showing it off during the PTC, when school wasn’t technically in session, and Phoenix knew that she was probably going to take the chance to dazzle her teachers with some of her smaller tricks as well.

Put that in the list of reasons why he did like PTC: getting to see people be amazed with Trucy’s close-up magic tricks.

“Trucy,” Phoenix sighs.

“No, please? I always get dressed up, and you never do.” She pouts, crossing her arms.

“That’s because you’re the star of the show tonight.”

“But you’re my assistant! Please, just this once? I know you don’t like getting dressed up, but...” And then Trucy hesitates, which is so unlike her it catches Phoenix’s attention right away, “But I’d like it.” She finishes. For a moment, the room is plunged into darkness that only Phoenix can see as chains shoot out of nowhere and a single psych-lock places itself in front of Trucy.

Phoenix sighs one more time. He’s not going to pry, not unless it becomes a big deal.

“Sure, can’t have you performing with a sub-par partner.” He relents and Trucy claps her hand excitedly.

He goes back into his room, reaching for a button down. Something simple, he figures. Just something a little nicer than usual.

And he sees the suit Miles had bought him.

It’s in a big black bag to keep it safe from dust or whatever. Almost without thinking to, he takes the hanger off the rack and sets it on his bed, unzipping the bag and looking at the suit. It’s so much like to his old one. He runs a hand over it and then almost puts it back. But if he can’t wear it to a PTC, how can he wear it to any of the myriad of events Miles had listed off? He used to wear a suit everywhere. It had been border-line mandatory.

“Hurry up, Daddy, or we’ll be late!”

Phoenix jumps at the banging on his door.

“Just a minute, sweetie!” He shouts back.

It feels… different. He blames that on the light blue waistcoat that Edgeworth had insisted on. That, and the fact that it was a suit that was made to fit him exactly. His old suit had been second-hand, all that he’d been able to afford at the time. The blue, what many people seemed to remember about him, had been due to lack of options rather than real choice.

He looks at himself in the mirror, running a wet hand through his hair to try and get it into some semblance of presentable. He still has his stubble. He hadn’t shaved this morning. It’s not too late to tear off the jacket and vest and go with his original plan of just a button up.

“Daddy!” Trucy calls again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” He shouts back, and with one last look at himself, one last effort to convince himself he looks fine, leaves his apartment looking more like the Turnabout Terror than he has in years.

oOo

More of Miles’ things seem to come weekly.

Apparently Franziska is doing a deep and thorough cleaning of the Von Karma estate. She keeps finding more things, and so boxes and boxes turn up on Miles’ doorstep.

Phoenix finds himself spending a lot of his time in Miles’ office, and it means he ends up spending a lot of time helping Miles unpack boxes. Some of them are things that really shouldn’t have surprised Phoenix, like Steel Samurai manga and dvds that Franziska has unearthed from hidden corners of the estate. Miles had admitted he’d kept them anywhere he thought Manfred wouldn’t look. Other little things like that showed up - small mementos or notes, most of which seem innocuous, but that Miles insists would’ve been disapproved of.

There are also other things, like pens or books or pictures. Some of these do belong to Miles while others of them are items Franziska 'didn’t wish to hold on to any longer’. While that seemed to be the case with some, it only took looking at Miles face to confirm for Phoenix that a lot of them had secret sentimental value.

He never understood their relationship. He’d been an only child, and while there were people he was close to, he’d never grown up in the same building with them, nor under the harsh condition Miles and Franziska had. He's glad he doesn't have to jump through the weird hoops and unsaid rules that Miles and Franziska do when navigating anything to do with the other.

“Okay, you can’t tell me these are important.” Phoenix holds up a pair of scissors. They’re cold and pure metal, no plastic handle like the three pairs Phoenix himself owns. All three of them always go missing at the same time too, which completley defeatst he point of having so many pairs.

Miles sighs and rolls his eyes. He’s sitting on the ground in front of the bookshelf. With the most recent influx of books, alphabetizing them means that the previous books need to be pushed to the next shelf, and it has created a chain of necessary rearrangement to every subsequent shelf as well. Phoenix has seen Miles force the work onto some younger prosecutors or even unlucky detectives, but with Phoenix here he does it himself.

“Open them up.” He says and Phoenix does just that. There are initials welded into the metal, M.E.V.K. Phoenix raises his eyebrows.

“Miles Edgeworth… Von Karma?” He says, just to be sure, and Miles nods.

“Mm, yes. Those are my shears. Franziska insisted on the initials so that if I ruined my pair, she’d be able to tell they were mine right away, and I wouldn’t be able to try and steal hers. She took them to get initialed herself.”

He speaks of the event with the calm and cool that is so Edgeworth, but Phoenix has learned to read between lines. He runs a finger over the four initials. Von Karma. The household Edgeworth had lived in and belonged to in all but the official name change. The name that he was able to carry on these shears.

“I’ll put them in your desk.” Phoenix says instead of the millions of other responses running through his head. He’s standing in front of it anyway. He pulls open the first drawer as Miles says,

“No, I’ll be taking them home. They’re fabric scissors, Phoenix. Using them on paper will ruin them.”

Phoenix’s response to that completely leaves his head when he sees the small golden pin in the drawer.

“What’s this?” He says, more to himself than Miles. He knows what it is, and yet he asks anyway. It’s a defense attorney pin. He can see the petals, the image of scales in the center. It’s not as if he hasn’t seen one recently, he has defense attorneys working for him, after all. But it’s so out of place to see one in Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth’s office that it takes him completely by surprise. He picks it up, turning it this way and that.

“Is this... your dad’s?” He asks, the first answer that comes to mind.

“Is what- oh. No. It isn’t.” Miles is looking over now, and there’s something in his voice that makes Phoenix’s brow furrow. He sounds… hesitant? Scared? Nervous? None of those seemed quite right, but Miles didn’t seem completely at ease. Phoenix returned his focus to the pin.

There are teeth marks in it, like someone had bit into it at one point. The edges of it are worn slightly, softened with time. It’s nostalgic to look at.

It’s even more nostalgic to turn over and see the number 26381.

“Wait, this is…!” Phoenix stares at the number, the number that is burned into his memory. He’d memorized it soon after receiving the pin. It was his number, the number that meant he was really a lawyer, that he had done it.

“... yes. It is.” Phoenix looks back up. Miles is still looking at him, the odd expression still there. Not hesitance, not nervousness, not fear.

Anticipation. Miles is sitting there, watching in anticipation, as Phoenix finds his old defense attorney’s badge in Miles’ desk.

“You have my badge.” Phoenix says. He turns it back around to stare at the face. Yes, that bite mark… that was from Ema, wasn’t it?

“I do.” Miles confirms.

“Why?” Phoenix says. He weighs the small pin in his hand and then tosses it, catching it easily enough. It’s so light and small.

Miles considers both Phoenix and the pin, eyes tracking the movement of the pin as it goes up in the air again and then returns to Phoenix’s palm.

“I didn’t want anyone else to have it.” He says. He’s still anticipating something.

“I see,” Phoenix says. And… he thinks he does, “You never told me. Would’ve been a lot easier to have given it to you personally instead of having to take it off and give it to the board.” He gives Miles a half grin.

“They wouldn’t have accepted that. They’d be upset with you.”

“What would they do? Disbar me?” Phoenix jokes. Miles looks like he’s trying not to crack a smile at the joke. It’s a joke at Phoenix’s expense, but the pain of the event has been numbed by time, and the joke is made to Miles.

“I suppose there wasn’t much they could do at that point, no,” Miles agrees, “It would’ve been easier to have gotten it from you personally. I had to pull some strings to get it.”

“And you didn’t tell me.” Phoenix brings up again.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“I thought you’d want it back.” Miles answers honestly.

Phoenix looks back down at the pin, his pin. He can see himself, six or five or even three years ago, finding out that Miles had his pin and begging the man to give it back to him. It had meant so much to him. Its absence had meant even more. It wasn’t as if he would’ve been able to do anything more with it than Miles had been doing; he’d have stuck it in a drawer, and on his worse days he would’ve pulled it out and cried over the small piece of metal.

Maybe if he’d found out a few years earlier, he would’ve been upset at Miles for not telling him, for keeping this from him. It was his badge, after all.

But now, seeing it placed in the top drawer of Miles’ desk where he could quickly open it and look at it whenever he’d wanted to, it fills Phoenix with something warm. This whole time, it hadn’t been locked away somewhere, or handed off to some rookie, or tossed away. It had been with Miles, watched over, polished, kept safe.

“Thank you.” Phoenix puts it back into the shelf, closing the drawer. The anticipation finally leaves Miles to be replaced with relief.

“It was my pleasure.” Miles smiles, and Phoenix returns it.

oOo

A lawyer doesn’t cry until it’s over.

For seven long and painful years, through even terrible twist and turn in the road, Phoenix hadn’t cried. Oh, he’d come close several times. Times where everything had started to get to him, when his chest had shaken with the sobs he so desperately wanted to let out, when he was reminded that he wasn’t a lawyer anymore, that the rule wasn’t his rule anymore. And yet the tears never came. His face stayed dry. And he’d rise again to carry on.

The packet comes in the mail ten months after the test.

It’s thick and heavy. He’s home alone, Trucy at school and Apollo doing some last-minute preparation for a trial. Sometimes it seems like the kid has better luck getting clients than Phoenix ever did.

He knows what the packet is the moment he sees it in the mail slot. He feels numb as he carries it to his apartment. He considers waiting to open it, but that seems like putting himself through unnecessary cruelty.

There’s a knife in the kitchen and he grabs it so he can cleanly slice open the top. It feels wrong to rip into it like an animal.

His shoulders shake as he slips the knife under the flap, his eyesight becomes blurry as he cleanly cuts across the top.

Win or lose, pass or fail, Phoenix thinks he knows how Godot felt at that trial. He imagines that if someone was watching him with the magatama, they’d see a final psyche-lock, placed firmly there when Phoenix had first started to close himself off for the war against Gavin, break apart.

Alone, in his apartment, for the first time in seven years, Phoenix cries.

It finally feels like it’s over.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #fanfiction #fanfic #browniefox writes #i shall post fic here #as a treat to myself

6 notes · View notes

sunset-swerved · 4 years ago

Text

WIP Wednesday

I wanted to post a snippet of one of my works in progress!!! It’s my longest one, but I’ve been stalled out for a few weeks so I figured posting it and getting some feedback might reinvigorate me.

It’s a Juke Fake Marriage AU completely based off of this post and this reply from Twitter.

The snippet is under cut!!

Julie would like to say that everything started when Flynn declared themself the social media manager for Julie and the Phantoms three years ago, but it really started with the show Gardenham.

Gardenham was about a British family in Regency-era England that had rocketed to the top of everyone’s watch lists because of its characters and their drama. Almost everyone was talking about it, if not watching it constantly.

(Yes, she had seen Alex watching it on his phone while his boyfriend was watching it on his own phone while he skateboarded down Sunset Boulevard. Only Willie’s ever present self-awareness made him not skate directly into traffic during ‘a really good part, Jules, I promise!’)

Julie only knew the basics about it and didn’t really care to learn more. She had never really liked period pieces in general and, now when they were so close to hitting it big, she definitely didn’t have time to figure out who was a Duke and who was an Earl and why empire cut dresses were making a comeback when they were honestly tragic for everyone involved.

The only other person she knew who was not obsessed (and really, Carlos, you too?) was Luke, but he wasn’t interested in anything that wasn’t music and the band and he liked it that way.

(Really. It was fine.)

But, with the show and all of her friends’ obsessions with it, came the knowledge that they weren’t the only ones talking about it.

“Guys, did you see? Big news!” Flynn yelled as they threw open the doors to the Molina’s garage. Julie and the Phantoms had their own little studio that they could book now, with the money to do so, but the four of them still preferred to rehearse and write in their own space.

(Renting studio time wasn’t actually that cheap, if you could believe it.)

But Flynn’s entrance did more than catch them by surprise. Reggie immediately fell off of his perch on the arm of the couch, Alex startled so bad he couldn’t stop an unnecessarily loud boom from his bass drum, and Luke started to choke on the guitar pick he had been flipping around in his mouth as he tried to brainstorm new lyrics.

Julie, however, was used to her best friend and barely even blinked.

“What’s up, Flynn,” she asked as she tucked her pencil behind her ear.

Flynn didn’t even stop as they walked through the room, grabbing onto Reggie’s arm and righting him on the sofa arm and pounding Luke on the back until he spit the pick across the room.

“You know how everyone’s talking about Gardenham, right?” They asked.

“Ohh! Did they renew it for a second season?” Alex asked, perking up.

Flynn groaned and shook their head, “Not yet, unfortunately, BUT better news, you know who is talking about it?”

“Everyone?” Reggie asked. Julie groaned and put her face in her hands and he amended his answer. “Well, almost everyone.” A beat. “OH! Is this about the Tik Tok musical?”

“Better than that!” Flynn immediately pulled out their phone and turned it on before shoving it into the bassist’s face. Alex quickly hopped up and ran over, leaning over his shoulder.

Julie tried to exchange a look with Luke, the only other sensible person, but the man had gone back to scribbling something down that she would inevitably have to transcribe later. Of course.

“Yo!” Alex cheered, looking up excitedly. “That’s so sick!”

“I can’t believe they’re doing that!” Reggie exclaimed. “That's such a good idea!”

The three of them continued to talk with their heads together over Flynn’s phone and Julie? She could only imagine.

“Who are they and what are they doing?” Luke asked, speaking up for the first time. He had turned away from his notebook and actually looked curious. There was a little crease in between in his eyebrows and he had his stupid pick back in his mouth and Julie had to force herself to look away from his pink mouth.

“Along with the entire world, except apparently you dorks, Andi Parker of Destiny Management watches Gardenham,” Flynn explained. “AND! She likes it so much that she’s partnering with a bunch of other companies for a giveaway to tide everyone over until season 2.”

“What kind of giveaway?” Julie asked.

Which was, if the other three’s looks were anything to go by, the right question to ask.

“If two people with the same names as the main characters get married in the time before season 2 comes out, they’re giving them a honeymoon trip to the set in London and fifteen thousand dollars!” Alex said. “Man, I wish I was in a heterosexual relationship.”

“It’s not even about the vacation!” Flynn said. “Andi Parker is running it, which could be a foot in the door for any musician! Destiny Management is a big deal.”

Reggie shoved the other man and laughed. “You’d have to be named Lucas though,” he said. “And be engaged to a girl named Juliana.”

Julie felt a shiver go up her spine as the three of them slowly turned, in unison, toward the other side of the garage where she and Luke were sitting.

It’s not that she didn’t realize that the two main characters of Gardenham had the same names as the two of them, it was really just that she didn’t actually care. Besides, they were common names. Surely a bunch of people had them, right? They were going to find their winners soon and everyone would forget about it.

Thoughts? Comments? Criticisms? Is it worth continuing? Let me know in the replies or send me a message!

#jatp fanworks appreciation week #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #juke fic #wip

5 notes · View notes

rose-mori · 5 years ago

Text

alright!! ♥︎ could i get a bigby x fem! reader fic, however the reader themselves is a “mutt monster”? (very much so like how Jersey can shift into the Jersey Devil) and Bigby finds this out through following her around and kind of approaching it like “Oh, so this is what goes on during your freetime?” - @monstercoffin

The first request I got! I kind of went in a different direction and the type of being the reader is was kept vague but I hope this entertains nevertheless! Thank you for your patience I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I should really be heading out now” She stares at the office exit from her seat in front of Bigby’s desk before facing him again. Bigby looks up from his paperwork and frowns as he notices not only the way her frequent glances at the door hold a sense of restrained longing but also the way her leg is bouncing anxiously and how she’s constantly shifting in her seat uncomfortably, not to mention the longer she’s seated there the more shallow her breathing seems to get. He’d never known her to be an overly anxious person before but ever since they’ve been spending more time together he’s noticed she tends to get into an uncomfortable and almost panicked state nearing the end of the day. He’s asked her about it before but she always rushes off with a flimsy excuse. When she starts digging her nails into the arm rests of her chair he stops trying to assess her and decides he won’t let her get away without an explanation this time.

“Are you in some sort of trouble I don’t know about?” With his brows knitted, eyes full of concern, and his frame leaning towards her as he was already slouched over his paperwork, his gaze holds an intensity that she isn’t equipped to deal with at the moment.

“No! Of course not I just- It’s really getting late and I don’t want Snow to come in and get on my case about distracting you or how I-“

“We both know Snow is gone for the night and that doesn’t explain why you acted like this all the other times.” He sighs as he gets up out of his chair and walks over to the other side of the desk. Crossing his arms and leaning against the desk he examines her further. She can’t make eye contact with him for more than a second and her body language suggests that she’s experiencing physical discomfort. She realizes that he’s analyzing her and gets up quickly, causing Bigby’s eyes to widen and then furrow his brow in confusion and frustration. “When are you gonna stop keeping me in the dark?”

She can tell he’s starting to feel hurt. She can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. ‘Just tell him it’s not that big of a deal really’ one side of her thinks but the other reminds her that Snow has been really cracking down on Fables whose true forms aren’t that of a human, monitoring them closer than ever before and sending them to the farm at the slightest infraction. She understands why Snow is doing it but there must be a less intrusive and stressful way of going about that right? Hiding her true form from Bigby felt wrong. She feels a deep pit in her stomach whenever she has to stammer some lame excuse out and watch him get continuously more suspicious but what is she supposed to do? If Bigby knows then he’s put in a compromising situation, he either keeps it from Snow or informs her, and that’s a burden she doesn’t want to place on him.

He notices her contemplating and softens his gaze. “Please, trust me.” He says earnestly. Her heart almost stops.

“It’s nothing really. It’s just a personal matter.” That’s not enough for him to relent and she sighs. “Look, I can assure you I’m not in any danger whatsoever otherwise I would tell you right away okay?” Bigby pauses for a bit at this.

“Fine”

She sighs in relief.

“I’m still not happy with you keeping things from me.” He makes his way back behind his desk.

“I know I know it’s just embarrassing and not something I want to talk about is all.” She gets up and gives him an apologetic look. Bigby just hums in response. “Anyway I should probably get going now, it’s getting pretty late.” She waves as she rushes out, leaving Bigby in the dark yet again.

————

It’s been another quiet day in Fabletown. Bigby finds it odd but not unwelcome, at least not completely. Contrary to popular belief, Bigby did not get to find time for himself during rare times of peace, instead he has to go through all the paperwork he otherwise can’t get to due to being too busy trying to either talk or knock some sense into the residents that tend to not listen, depending on how hostile they are. However, it seems Snow has a touch to rival that of King Midas’ when it comes to keeping people in line which leads Bigby to where he is now. Just doing paperwork.

His admiration for Snow’s abilities is slowly starting to turn to annoyance with every file. Thinking back on it, this was a majority of what Bigby did before everything with The Crooked Man. Perhaps the constant action during that time has lessened his patience for the norm. To make things even less interesting, (Y/N) is not here today. Snow advised her to not come since there really wasn’t much for her to assist with after she spent the last week finishing organizing all the paperwork to make it easier for Bigby to go through. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He can’t stop his mind from trying to figure out what she’s hiding. Leave it to her to make him lose focus, although he wishes it wasn’t because he was worried.

As if on cue he catches her scent, and decides that he could use a breath of fresh air and some sun. She’s a few blocks away, that’s a good distance for a walk.

~~~~~~

Her scent led him to a bar, and a small one at that. He’s heard of it before, it’s gotten popular in the short amount of time it’s been open. With all the talk about this place it definitely takes Bigby by surprise when he sees how little the maximum capacity of the place probably is and further more the lack of people there. Just one glance around the room and he can’t see her but her scent is strong. There’s no denying she’s here somewhere. The few patrons that are there seem awfully wary of him. He can’t pinpoint if it’s just them reacting to him normally or if there’s something they’re hiding. A terrible thought flashes through his mind and he holds back a scowl. He can’t afford to jump to conclusions, and it seemed genuine when she said she wasn’t in trouble. Bigby calms himself down before taking a seat in front of the barkeep. “Small place you got here.”

“Smaller the place the lower the rent.” The man says. No offer for a drink, the usual for most places that want Bigby to leave as soon as possible.

“It’s funny. I’ve heard so much about this place that I expected there to be customers.” Bigby looks around the almost empty room to emphasize his point. The barkeep scoffs.

“If you want a more lively atmosphere I’m sure you can find another place with one after you fuck right off.” He turns his back on Bigby.

“Haven’t heard that one before.” Unamused, Bigby looks at the bookshelf against the wall. It looked out of place in what was probably the smallest dive bar Bigby had ever seen. “Why have a bookshelf in a place like this?”

“Christ, is there something wrong with having a bit of decoration?” The barkeep says with a lot more venom than before and now Bigby knows he’s probably onto something if that struck such a nerve. He gets off the stool and make his way towards the bookshelf.

“I don’t look too much into interior design myself but I think the place would probably seem a lot bigger if you didn’t have this taking up so much space.” As he inspects it he notices how dusty most of the books are, all except one. He rolls his eyes. “Really?” He mutters under his breath.

“H-Hey, what’re you doing?”

Bigby smirks as he looks back at the barkeep. “This is the type of shit Mundies come up with in mystery novels. You could’ve at least hidden it with a spell and make me work for it a little, maybe even invested in a duster.” He turns back to the bookcase and pulls the book, which turns out to be a lever. The bookcase moves and opens up a much more lively bar filled with creatures of all sorts. “So this is why everyone’s coming here.” He walks in and ignores all the shocked patrons. There’s not a single human looking person in there but her scent is undeniable.

“Bigby?!” He hears a familiar voice behind him and turns around to be met with something that doesn’t match his image of who the voice belongs to.

“Uhh? (Y/N)?” He says with cautious confusion.

“Why are you here?” She asks clearly upset and embarrassed. Not only is her cover blown with him but everyone in the establishment is staring them down.

“I uh-“ Now it’s Bigby’s turn to be embarrassed. He doesn’t really have a reason to be here other than tracking her down. (Y/N) groans before he can answer.

“I can’t believe this, let’s go outside.” She transforms back into her human form before taking his arm and leaving the building.

————

“So that’s why you’ve been running off?” He walks closely next to her on the sidewalk heading back to the offices.

“If I’m in this form for too long I get so uncomfortable to the point that I can’t stand it. I don’t know how you manage Bigby.” She sighs. Bigby glances down at her before shoving his hand in his pocket and pulling out a pack of Huff n’ Puffs.

“You should’ve told me.” He says with a cigarette between his lips. He puts his pack away and grabs his lighter.

“I didn’t want to put you in a position where you’d be withholding something from Snow that she would want to know about.” She frowns and keeps her gaze at her feet.

“I appreciate the sentiment but I’d prefer you didn’t keep secrets from me, I worry for you.” Bigby snaps his lighter closed and shoves it back in his pocket. She blushes and turns her head away from him.

“Well lucky for us that’s the only thing I wasn’t being honest about.” (Y/N) looks back at him with a serious expression. “Please don’t tell Snow.” Bigby frowns and she starts getting apprehensive. She turns in front of him and stops him, she looks up at him with pleading eyes and grips his shirt. “I can’t afford glamour to help make keeping this form less straining and I know once she hears how hard it is for me to keep my form for long she’ll keep an extra watchful eye on me and I wouldn’t be able to stand that.”

Bigby stares down at her wide eyed as she pleads her case. When she’s finished, he tosses his cigarette to hold her by her shoulders and calm her down. “I won’t tell Snow I promise.” (Y/N) immediately sighs a breath of relief and releases all the tension in her body and her grip on his shirt.

“Thank you Bigby.” She smiles up at him sweetly, catching him off guard yet again. He uncomfortably adjusts his collar before putting a hand on her back and turning her around to continue walking.

“Don’t mention it. Besides, now I know we have a lot more in common.”

#bigby wolf x reader #bigby wolf #the wolf among us #female reader #request #one shot

134 notes · View notes

popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

The Color of Friendship Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27): A World of People

Happy Black History Month! Another day, another comission from longtime supporter of the blog Weird Kev and like a good chunk of his-non duck asks, he asked me for something outside my usual wheelhouse. In the past this has meant an episode of the short lived fox show whoops in which we found out how Santa dealt with the end of the world, didn’t know how doors worked, and interacted with some characters so thin you could remake the episode with just Mick Foley in a santa suit and carboard cutouts playing the characters lines and it’d be about the same, and earlier this month Sorry Wrong Meeting, an episode of a sitcom i’d never seen an episode of the Jeffersons about the KKK. So unsuprisingly his big comission for Black History Month was the 2000 Disney Channel Original Movie, The Color of Friendship.

I couldn’t find much on the making of the film, which dosen’t entirely suprise me as at the time this came out, Disney was releasing around 10 a year and whlie that stopped shortly, it still was a whopping 6 a year for some time, ocasionally more ocasionaly less, slowly dwindling down to the two of year we have now. Though it’s still an ongoing concern and has been since the channel started in 83, closing in on 40 years ago, so it’s still impressive Disney hasn’t just outright phased them out. Then again the popular ones make them a lot of money and some like High School Musical and the Descendants Trilogies have broken out so big they’ve lead to spinoff books, tv series in the latter’s case, and all that stuff making them money hand over fist. So making some cheap movies that MIGHT end up making them rich and usually star people that are already on shows they have or were at one point is a no loose proposition, especially now they add an extra release to the Disney Plus callender twice a year. And while the library has it’s gaps and i’ve griped about them enough.. I will say it’s stil la damn good library and it’s nice to be able to watch a film like this, as the dvd was LONG out of print and likely horribly expensive, and while renting it was an option, it would’ve chipped into what I got commissioned for the film. Still would’ve done it it just would’ve sucked to loose money on the deal, if only two bucks, for something I had no control over. Still would do that over adding it onto the comission fee. Point is stuff that’s not been easy to get for some time is now just a few clicks or taps of the remote away, and having the VAST majority of disney’s long and storied history from theatrical to dcom to weird tv oddities like.. this thing

I don’t know what Fuzzbucket is, and frankly I don’t want to know.. I mean I will for a comission or something but i’m not going to go out of my way to find out what that thing is and if it can give me scabies through a telvision screen despite being fictional and proabably long dead. At least I tell myself it’s long dead so ic an sleep at night without worrying about that thing breaking into my house and watchnig me while I sleep changing “SOON JACOB, SOON”. So yeah while you’ll hear me complain about the gaps in DIsney Plus’ library a lot on this blog.

I will give credit where it’s due, and what is on there is pretty expansive and now includes the Muppet Show, which I give them full credit for as that probably took a LOT of work and money to make happen. Plus WandaVision is fucking fantastic, especially now i’m finally all caught up.

But while as I said I couldn’t find much on the making of the film I did find a bit on it’s inspiration: It was inspried by a short story wrtten by Piper Dellums, a writer, poet and activist, and daughter of Ron Dellums. Dellums is a notable congressman who fought against apartheid and constantly fought for a bill to divest from South Africa, something that SHOCKINGLY, Ronald Regan tried to veto because he was a racist disney anamatronic what did you expect, and all in all seemed pretty awesome. He sued Bush SR to try and prevent Desert Storm, in his earliest days in office had an exibit near his phsyical office of vietnam war crimes to try and hold them acountable and in general seems to be a fascenating, hardworking man who constantly and religiously fought for the people and against war.

The story was a real life account of the Piper’s experince housing a South African Student, Marie, who the Delums Family expected to be black.. but turned out ot be white. During Apartheid, south africas racist as hell and horrifying goverment system of segregation that wasn’t abolished till the 90′s. As expected she was racist, but as a proudct of the horribly racist country she came from and much like with her fictional counterpart in this film, slowly grew to realize how fucked up her homeland was and by the time she went back, became an activist She and Piper were very close but her story ends tragically as eventually Piper stopped hearing from her after she was arrested and despite attempts to talk to her.. it was clear by the silence, and by the fact Piper visited South Africa post-aparthied to help and likely would’ve seen her.. that she was likely quitely killed by the state. But her story thankfully lives on, so join me under the cut to see how a 20 year old disney movie aired during black history month handles this difficult real life story, racisim and the 70′s.

The Cast: Quick bit about the cast since I usually do this for first episodes of an animated show and wish i’d done so for my other film reviews so far. Though to keep things simple, i’m only doing the main four cast members, especailly since frankly outside of Mahree’s parents the rest are more supporting roles that don’t have a lot of screen time and in hte case of the south african embassy workers, are just there to be racist card board cutout villians. Piper, who keeps her name from real life is played by Shadia Simmons, who eventually retired from acting to become a High School and Acting Teacher. During her career she was in a bunch of Disney Channel Original Movies, including the first two Zenon Movies, and was in a major role in a bunch of live action childrens shows: I Was A Sizth Grade Alien, Strange Days at Blake Holsely High, and Life with Derek, the only one of which i’ve seen and even then barely so I can’t comment on the rest of her work. Simmons does a decent job in the film, and does shine in the more dramtic scenes, not the best part of it but certainly not bad at all.

Lindsay Haun plays Mahree, and had more of an acting career after this one, having a small recurring role on True Blood as Hadley, while also directing some smaller films. Haun is easily one of the two highlights of the movie and the best of the two main tween actresses by a mile. More on that in a bit.

Next we have Carl Fucking Lumbly as Congressman Ron Dellums. Carl has had a long and storied career and the fucking is because of what I best know him from: Playing the Martian Manhunter Jon Jonzz on Justice League. And let me not undersell it: his version of Jon is waht made me LOVE the character, still do to this day, being the first time I encountered any version of Jon and the one I still love the most, a stoic man who tries to adapt to a world he feels he can never be a part of, adding shades to his stitled demeanour to show off his emtitons and in general being the heart and soul of what made this verison work and made me love the character with his performance. He’s done other stuff too including Cagney and Lacey, Doctor Sleepand what have you.. but he’ll always be Jonn to me and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Unsuprisingly he’s the other standout here.

Finally we have Penny Johnson as Ron’s wife and Piper’s Mother Roscoe, who played Captain Sisko’s love intrest on Deep Space 9 and was one of the leads on castle. Haven’t seen either of those but she does seem awesome and does a terrific job here.

Moving on to the film itself.. it’s really fantastic. It has some awkwardness and goofy bollocks as you’d expect from a disney channel original movie in 2000, but it handles a really heavy subject, race relations, gracefully and clearly with the goal of educating an audience with a lot of white kids in it about race. So I can praise what it does right i’m going to be handling the parts that are a bit wobbly first so I can get to the good stuff

Awkwardness and Goofy Bollocks:

First the out and out criticism: The films TV Movie roots show in places, as this film lacks the polish these films would have later this decade, with the film barely having an opening title sequence and just sorta throwing you in, though to their credit it does open with the utterly awesome Back in Love Again, because 70′s.

youtube

That slaps and that’s an undeniable fact. What’s also an undenaible fact is the film dosen’t try the hardest to be very 70′s in it’s sets and what not, though it does do it a little with the clothes and that not being the case with Mahree is intentional, as her family while wealthy is from another culture and one literally and metaphorically behind the times.

I will also say Shadia Simmons is a decent actress, but is mildly weak in comparison to the other 3 in the leads, but its more the result of putting a pretty standard child sitcom actress up against two experinced actors who know what their doing and one whose about as experinced as her, but simply has a LOT to work with and goes above and beyond. It’s less that she’s bad and more that she’s simply not as good as what’s around her, and in general I tend to go easier on child actors since it’s not an easy job for a grown adult much less a teenager, it’s very pressurey and there’s a reason a LOT of them bottom out as they get older or retire all together.

I will say though that Piper’s brothers are awful and I feel are only there because she actually had brothers. The actors try, i’m not pinning this on them but writing wise their just two little shits who contirbute ntohing of value to any scene their in, being generally way to young to get into the heavy topic at hand, and mostly being there for unfunny shneanigans. They aren’t in the film too much otherwise they might’ve ruined it for me, but if Shadia struggles a bit agianst sttronge perofrmances imagine who younger actors with the stage direction “Be the bane of my existence” and you’ll MAYBE see the problem.

The film also loves cheesy time passing montages, including an actual factual shopping montage, easily the goofiest, but it’s something you’d expect from a dcom and helps lighten the mood. That’s a running theme outside the brothers there really isn’t anything too silly.. until the last act. See in the last act, the film tackles the real life death of Steve Biko, a South African activist against apartheid who was captured by the state and very transparently murdered in jail. with the government claming he killed himself which no one bought because why would they, and it sparked riots worldwide and finally got the US to take Apartheid seriously according to the film. Though as I mentioned earlier Regan did not in case you thought the republican party being terrible and deeply racist was a brand new thing. It was not. Guys like Tucker Carlson and Former President Trump are a symptom, not the disease.. though they certainly look and feel like some form of plauge. Point is Mahree is breifly taken by the embassy.. whose staff who take her feel like the Disney Channel Original Movie form of Nazi’s. The heavy accents, the way they compose themselves... I half expect an elderly indiana jones to show up to whip the piss out of them. And dont’ get me wrong, the only diffrence between these pricks and a nazi is the fact they don’t call themselves nazis, this isn’t a nuanced horrifying racist to be scared of but a saturday morning cartoon version.

While white supremacists in real life can be cartoonishly evil, again see trump and carlson, it does kind of undercut the seriousness and nuance of things to have your villians be cold, cackling cutouts who are 5 seconds away from saying “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor take her away” to our heroine, especailly since Mahree’s reaction to being taken away and confusion at everything and at being treated like a prisoner by her own people are very painful and very well acted. I do get showing them as monsters, because they were, but given Mahree’s father who as a south african police man was DEFINTELY ONE and even outside his racisim doubts and downtalks his own daughter, still feels like an actual person, if not a GOOD person, they could’ve done better and did in the same film.

But that stuff aside.. I really can’t find much that’s honestly that silly or bad and as you can tell what little I did was more a product of being a tv movie. So now i’ve got the negatives out of the way

This Film Is Pretty Good: It truly is, for a lot of reasons. But the biggest is the nuance. It could’ve been easy to just have Maree as some racist kid needing to learn a lesson who was openly cruel and easy to jeer at.. but the film went iwth the reality: that she was instead an extremley privlaged and insulated girl who simply NEVER knew better. To her her very racist and segregated world is just the way the world worked for her and she dosen’t even consider when the Dellums come to pick her up minus Ron these aren’t servants and her own servant’s words fall on deaf ears, as the poor woman tries to make it clear how miserable her life is and how much she deseprately wants this child to do better. Marhee is never actively malicious even when, due to the shock of her all black host family, she baricades herself in Piper’s room. It’s obnoxious sure and CERTAINLY hurtful and the film makes no bones about it and Piper rightfully calls her out on it. The film dosen’t let her get away with any intetnional racisim like that and after Piper calls her out, she realizes she’s been selifsh and makes a genuine effort. And even then the film makes a good choice in not making it an easy road to realization. Mahree makes a genuine effort in the first place not because of any big revelation or anything, but because she simply hears her dad in her head telling her she’d give up after a week and that, coupled with Piper’s words, makes her see herself as a selfish brat. Even after she’s floored by a mall where black and white people stand side by side aand casually talks about horrors like ID Cards like i’ts a GOOD thing, because that’s what she’s been taught by her dad. That black people are happy being told where they can and can’t go when no they weren’t they simply had no chocie in the matter. And while we do see early on when an asshole at a restraunt assaults a waiter for an accident that Mahree clearly isn’t okay with the more horrifying side of things, she still dosen’t quite grasp WHY that happened, simply that it’s something that does reguarly she dosen’t like. It’s excellently, and unsuprisingly called back when they visit an ice cream place in the states and something similar happens.. but the guy takes it in stride, even ordering a sundae, to Maree’s confusion.

It’s what makes the film work and all the more striking: As Roscoe makes clear to Ron, whose admant about nto having a racist in the house, this is not her fault. While the film makes it clear Mahree’s behavior at first was not okay and her prejudiece is not okay, it also makes it VERY clear she’s a product of a terrible system and terrible parenting from people who choose to benneift from the system instead of challenge it. She’s only like this because she hasn’t had a reason to ever think diffrent and just took her parents at face value and no mater the country, this is something that sadly happens far too often: Someone hating a group or thinking discrimination is okay because that’s how they were taught and that’s all they’ve known and the only way to change that is to challenge that opinon and try to get them to have some empathy and see the other way and as this film shows it’s a struggle.. and at the end of the day while the Dellums make a concentrated effort, Maree is the one who has to realize what her parents taught her is bad and her country is inherently flawed and NEEDS to change, just like ours did, and STILL badly needs to.

And that’s where the nuance kicks in as the good congressman is understandable in not wanting a racist in his house... but his wife is equally right that Maree is not some easy symbol of his hatred towards south africa, but a girl who grew up knowing nothing more than the fucked up system, and eventually he comes around, realizing , especially after she apologizes for him even thinking she’d use a racial slur on piper after a very powerful conversation with the two and piper accidently saying she used the South African N Word, almost accidently getting her friend thrown out, that she simply hasn’t been outside her shell and gently guides her to keep reading roots, even letting her take it with her if she wants back home. The film shows the full pain of the situation but also shows change is posisble. Again it’s not easy, Mahree has a panic attack waiting in an almost all black line in school and it’s shown to be as horrible a thought as it is., but she DOES change and it comes off as real, as someone realizing the system they grew up with is broken and needs to be fixed and she can’t just sit back and let it.

What makes this happen, besides the aformentioned kidnapping by saturday morning cartoon racists, is Piper confronting her after a friend from south africa forces Piper to acccept that while her and Mahree are friends, Mahree might not seee her as equal and Piper in turn in a heated argument and easily Simmons best performance of the film, that things are broken and wrong and that her “firend”, her nanny/servant back home, is not happy. It leaves Mahree crying and Ron telling her the honest truth: Change was, and again still is but this was 2000 and while we should’ve had this talk disney channel wasn’t ready for it, needed to make things better here.. and tha’ts what south african’s doing> Fighting for equal rights at last. It’s some powerful, heavy as hell stuff you woudln’t expect from a line of movie that also include a robot house, before that was an actual thing, a merMAN dad MerMan, a boy slowly turning into a leprechaun, and at least two diffrent movies centering around wacky kidnappings. It’s a nuanced and hard look at race, as hard as late 90′s jsut turned into the 2000′s disney could get mind, aimed at kids and the film, whiel stilted really has my utter praise. It’s genuinely moving, well acted and teaches a valuable message that while not eveyrone can change.. it dosen’t hurt to try and help them, as well as the equal message that change start with YOU. someone has to WANT to be better and learn and actually let other people in to help them. And I wont’ lie and say this is the most naunced or subtle film.. at time’s it’s about as subtle as a ralph wiggum throught he window

But sometimes you don’t need to be. It also taught kids about apartheid, not me as I barely saw the film, but many learned of something ghoulsih that had barely ended at the time of the film’s release, something I only learned about as a teen via bloom county and a diffrent world, which has an utterly awesome apartheid episode “A World Alike”. Seriously check it out if you have prime, as it shows that america isn’t the only country with a deep history of ingraned racisim. And was it an easy way to have an anti racisim narriative without fully confronting america’s own racist history? Yup. Just.. yup. Can I blame Disney Channel for it when they clearly, while equipped to tackle racisim, weren’t ready to tackle something that dense or heavy, and while Proud Family later would there’s a diffrence between a 20 minute one off episode of a cartoon and 90 minutes of film? Yeah. For what it is and for what the time period is, I applaud this film taking on such a heavy topic with grace. Some goofyiness here and there yes and some lack of subtly.. but still grace. For what it is is, it’s pretty good and i hope to show it to my nieces one day soon. It has i’ts heart in the right place and thus has a place in my heart. See you next rainbow.

#the color of friendship #disney channel #dcom #disney channel original movie #black history month #black lives matter

6 notes · View notes

carriemaya · 4 years ago

Text

COMING HOME — Healing from Housing Instability

CW: Childhood sexual abuse, parentification, slibling abuse, religious abuse, and PTSD.

INTERGENERATIONAL FAMILY TRAUMA

I grew up with a lot of material privilege: a beautiful home on 2 acres of property, cable TV, ducted heating/cooling, always had food on the table, and went to a private Christian school (even if it was through a bursary programme). I even had singing and piano lessons (and went to performing arts school with Zachary Ruane from Aunty Donna — true story!).

But there was a maelstrom of abuse going on behind closed doors.

What my five siblings and I experienced varied from child to child; a combination of sexual, physical, psychological, and spiritual abuse — from parent to child and sibling to sibling over the course of many years. While the onus for violence, volatility, and religious fundamentalism was on my parents, they were also the facilitators of beautiful moments of genuine care and joy — a toxic dynamic born of traumatised adults who find themselves the parents of little children whose entire world they’re responsible for.

And because our nervous systems remember things that we would choose to forgive and forget, it laid the rocky foundation for the early onset of a plethora of complex mental health issues that I still experience today.

And while my parents weren’t all bad or all good (as is the case with most people), the culture they created or allowed, made way for fractured relationships between my siblings and me — and unfortunately these sibling relationships became the catalyst for my personal ongoing housing instability and a deeper, more chronic experience of psychological damage that years of therapy, self-help books, and spiritual healing sessions haven’t been able to heal.

My siblings were traumatised by the person I was growing up. I was parentified from a young age and stepped into the mother role. At around 10 years old, my parents forced me to physically discipline my siblings. But I had the head and heart of a child which meant that I wielded power with all the wisdom and responsibility of, well, a child.

It caused lots of damage because I was the scary one in their eyes (not my parents) which set me up to be alienated from my siblings pretty much from the get go. I could be awful to them. But I also loved them and simultaneously felt responsible for protecting them against my parents. I look back at the moments born of these confusing dynamics and I can pinpoint them as the place in my life where my personality started to fragment.

When it came to trying to protect myself, my siblings, or to reason with my parents, I yelled. A lot. My voice was the only weapon I had to use against their size, age, fellow adult allies, and economic power.

I thought that by yelling I could get through to them — to help them wake them up and see how much their kids were suffering because of their behaviour. I didn’t learn until I was an adult that my brothers and sisters resented me for this as they wished I had just been quiet. The toxic culture in my family was normalised and my railing against it was seen as the cause of our household drama.

I was Crazy Carrie. The mentally ill one who yells a lot.

While experiencing abuse from my parents, I also abused my siblings.Thankfully, they weren’t subjected to the same kind of treatment I received from my parents as the eldest child. But unfortunately because of that, it meant they weren’t privy to the ways I was being tormented behind the scenes into becoming the kind of child I was. They remember me as an abuser. And why wouldn’t they? And as an adult with space and time between us, I can also accept that their feelings and opinions about me are valid.

But the thing that breaks my heart is that they don’t seem to remember the good things I tried to do for our family — or sacrifices I made. Like when I dropped out of high school in my final year to cook, clean, and be their emotional support because my father forced my mum to go work outside of the home full time. It was my dream to be the first person in our family to finish high school. B that honour went to my brother. I’m proud of him and glad he got to do it. Yet at the same time, it feels as though the things I tried to do right count for nothing.

And I guess that’s the complex nature of intergenerational family trauma.

Everyone’s a victim and no one comes out unscathed.

THE BEGINNING OF HOUSING INSECURITY

When I was 18, my father was eventually removed by The Department of Human Services.

And we turned to a church for hope and support. We were then exploited and abused for 6 years. You can listen to that story in full detail here.

[TLDL version: inappropriate touching of me and my siblings by church leadership, encircled by a group of church members in a prayer meeting and forced to take communion while crying and choking on breadsticks and cranberry juice, the pastor putting wedges in between children and their parents so she could be their mother).

My siblings and I had explosive relationships before going to the church. But after what we experienced at the hands of our former pastor, the dysfunction and dissension multiplied 50xfold. They became toxic and so did I. Our home, post-church, became a cocktail of trauma, brainwashing, and siblings hurting siblings.

Upon leaving that church, I became aware of how toxic I had been in so many ways. I started apologising to everyone in my family as soon as I became conscious of it. I still wanted to hold onto my faith and I wanted to process what we’d been through so that we could heal.

Unfortunately, the siblings I have had the most conflict with over the years — and I — had such deeply opposing perceptions about our behaviour toward each other.We all have contrasting feelings about who should be taking responsibility for what. Or what had transpired between us over the years and what hadn’t.

They told me that I was selfish for wanting to talk about what happened and that if I truly wanted to move on, I would just do it. I felt constantly shut down and dismissed by them — just as I had with my parents growing up when all I wanted to do was to connect by bringing things out in the open for two-way, exploratory conversation.

In conjunction with this, because of how much shame and self-hatred I had for the way I had been growing up (and who I’d become at church), I believed that even if I felt hurt by their behaviour now, that I should allow them to treat me however they want because maybe that’s what they need to do to heal.

But no matter how much I apologised or tried to change, it felt that they were committed to misunderstanding me because they wanted me to hurt as much as I’d hurt them. Which I understand because their pain and trauma needs a voice. And because I was the cause of so much of it, their frustration and anger landed squarely back on to me.

I guess they just didn’t realise how much I had been hurting, too.

This eventually led to me going into fawning mode. And I was eventually forced to leave home because of the bullying that I experienced at their hands. I felt really betrayed by my mum who allowed certain things to happen without standing up for me, a feeling which triggered painful emotions associated with the way she singled me out for abuse as a child.

When I finally left home, I told her that I wanted nothing more to do with her. And that if she ever wanted a relationship with me again she’d have to earn it.

Note: I’m sure you understand that I can’t share everything about my family in detail. This blog entry is actually a redraft of a much longer, much more explicit, piece that explains all the awful things I did to my siblings and all the awful things they’ve done to me. We’re all adults now. And at this stage we’ve all traumatised each other. It’s unfair. And it sucks for every single person involved.

When you are driven out of your housing by personal circumstances or through danger to your person, it’s a complete upheaval. Personally it was utterly jarring when my family situation led to me needing to leave before I was ready. Especially when it was catlysed by the dismissal of me and my survival needs in preference for another sibling who was causing literal damage to our house (among other things).

Once I’d moved out, I crashed. A sort of emotional paralysis took over.

And I’ve carried that paralysis and accompanying dissociation with me for the last 7 years. Every move bringing it to the surface and causing me to plummet into the self-hatred and fear associated with being driven out of my home in the first place.

Anyone who’s rented knows that good housing situations are the luck of the draw.

Throughout all the moves I’ve made in the last decade, some have been a dream: like Jake and Beth who were fellow live-in mentors to an at-risk young person for the Vista Lead Tenant Program where we had beautiful chats about faith, doubt, politics, and played Jackbox TV games. Like the international sharehouse where I learnt Farsi from Reza and Shohra — an Iranian immigrant couple who didn’t even have a mattress to sleep on but would invite me to eat almonds on the blanket they had laid out on their bedroom floor.

The majority of them, though, have been utter nightmares.

Like the one where I was being stalked by a neighbour in the unit behind mine. When I told her to back off, she retaliated by making a false report to the police — saying that she was fearful for the lives of her fiance, her pets, and herself. I was taken to court and the mediator saw through her straight away. Thankfully, he was incredible and encouraged me to file for a cross-order/ intervention order so that she didn’t just have one against me. Which would give me some measure of protection against her if she wanted to start making trouble for me. I agreed. That SAME day, she breached it and came right up to my bedroom window and started looking around my unit.

Another time, I moved in with a man whose Gumtree ad I responded to out of desperation for a place to stay. Then after a week, he told me that I wasn’t allowed to file for rental assistance from Centrelink because it would cut into his welfare benefits. I agreed because I needed a roof over my head. And it also didn’t take long to learn that he was an alcoholic who stayed up all night listening to the radio up to 11 and I found myself unable to sleep.

And finally, the nightmare of my most recent living situation up until two months ago. I lived next door to two meth addicts. Let’s call them Tarzan and Jane.

They were good enough neigbours until COVID-19 hit. I think it’s because they used to party at other peoples’ places before restrictions were implemented but couldn’t anymore.

The drugs, the psychosis, the cackling-witchy ramblings of Jane, and waking up to her yelling in the street early morning after early morning

One time, they had a 17-hour bender.

He groaned in this deep, demonic sounding voice for 40 minutes. She began to tell herself a story. At 4am, Tarzan stood at my bedroom wall shouting, “Fuck off, poofter” for 15 minutes. I dragged my mattress into the lounge and closed the door while they continued to party hard to loud music for a further 7 hours.

I spent most of 2020 sleeping in my living room because I was so scared. It triggered PTSD episodes for me on a daily basis.

Then Jane passed away from an overdose.

The woman from across the street (we’ll call her Julie), started coming over to visit Tarzan all the time. He started putting up a fence without permission from the landlord. I felt like reporting him at first, but decided to leave it alone.

And one of these days that she came over to visit Tarzan, I hear Julie start yelling about me through the wall. It wasn’t just about her being a bitch. She was another loud, rude, scary person disturbing my right to a peaceful home and I decided enough was enough.

I decided to confront them.

I grabbed my phone because I knew that if they reacted badly without video evidence of their actions towards me, nothing could be enforced by the authorities.

I’m glad I thought that far ahead because Julie physically assaulted me, snatched my phone away, and then smashed it on the ground. It turned out Tarzan had received a breach of lease notification from the real estate agency for the unapproved fence and thought I had reported him.

Because the attack was caught on camera, when the police arrived and saw the footage and damages, they arrested her and charged her with unlawful assault.there anymore. But that was it. I couldn’t stay there anymore.

The physical attack by my neighbor was just the beginning of a series of injuries that would also take their toll on my well being.

At the end of October last year, just after the assault, my friend Tash graciously offered her home to me while she and her husband lived in Melbourne short-term for his cancer treatment. In exchange for looking after her cats, I received rent-free, bill-free accommodation while I looked for a new place.

I needed a safe place to recover and roll out the first session of my online coaching programme Mother Mary Speaks, so I promptly moved into Tash’s and was able to run my first session.

One week passes, I’m working at my desk, and I get up to move around a bit because my legs have fallen asleep — my ankle crushes beneath me. I rolled it and couldn’t get up.

I ended up in hospital with ligament damage.

So there I was, living in interim housing, $300 in my savings, a cat in tow, unsure of how I’m going to afford a new place and whether I’ll be accepted by a real estate agency even if I can (because I am self-employed and don’t yet have a livable wage/ am still receiving Centrelink benefits). And now I can’t walk. Oh, and I’m running a 6-week programme where people need me to hold space for them.

And each day I’m without a home, I’m cripped more and more by PTSD associated with housing and family.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF CONSTANTLY MOVING FOR 7 YEARS

Moving is expensive.

Like really expensive.

Transporting furniture and possessions is really pricey if you hire a professional. And honestly I’ve never been able to afford it. Which has also been really hard as someone who doesn’t drive due to having seizures since she was in her teens.

The stress of having to coordinate help when your former pastor made you believe that anything you express needing help with makes you a selfish taker of resources — someone who is unworthy of their faith for not putting it in God’s hands only. The anxiety and shame from those past conversations and beliefs about myself are almost unbearable at times.

Then there’s the cost of bond and first month’s rent. And all the utility connection costs that can really add up depending on how old a property is or what kinds of outlets and wiring a place has installed.

During the last 7 years, I managed to support myself financially for nearly 2 whole years with a livable wage. Because the work was flexible and online, it meant that I could work around the PTSD episodes and manage the effects of my Borderline Personality Disorder (like chronic self-harm urges, sui* ideation, and anxiety/ depression). More recently in 2019, I was casually unemployed for about 5 months and then COVID-19 hit and the work fell through.

I have been building a business using my life experience, professional experience, spiritual gifts, and a combination of small wages and welfare payments.

So one doesn’t have much savings or proof of income in these situations. I’ve had to borrow money more times than I can count to make sure I have a roof over my head. And I’m one of the lucky ones who has someone to help me in these situations.

Then there’s the deep-seated uncertainty that comes with constant unwanted relocations. Each move has felt like a deeper, harder blow to the foundations of my stability.

I’ve tried everything to ground myself and make myself feel safe over the years — and thankfully I’ve found many tools to make life more bearable.

And while I’m able to cognitively understand that renting is the reality for so many of us (and that in this day and age, home ownership is a privilege that fewer and fewer people are able to afford), my body and all my emotions have been ever filled with anxious anticipation that life is just about to be pulled out from under me.

The same question arises with each new property, “ What if this was how it’s going to be for the rest of my life? And what if it’s going to continue happening in really dramatic ways like being assaulted or taken to court? What if my life is a never-ending cycle of mental illness, trauma, and housing crisis? Will I ever get a chance at stability? A chance to build something sustainable beyond survival?”

THE END OF HOUSING INSTABILITY

Years ago, when mum began making amends for the ways in which she didn’t come through for me when my siblings bullied me out of home, she apologised to me as much as was humanly possible.

And while the journey toward reconciliation was far from smooth sailing, each year has seen our relationship blossom and grow. She has spent the last 7 years since earning my trust back. She hasn’t just said sorry. She’s made recompense where possible.

She has helped me with transport, paying rent, bills, bonds, moving costs, and has been an incredible rock of strength when I’m experiencing extreme mental illness symptoms. No one understands me or holds space for me with the love and strength that my mama does.

I’m open with her about the fact that I’m writing this article. I’m a writer, I need speak my truth. And the cost-benefit analysis of sharing the story of our healed relationship comes out as a choice with lots of benefits. I also want to say that I don’t just forgive her. I adore her. She is actually my most favourite person in the world and I can’t imagine my life without her. She even told me last year that she has left her house to me in her will because she wants to make sure I’m taken care of when she’s gone.

I’ve come to learn the ways in which her life was shaped by family trauma and abuse. And how that flowed down into our family unit.

She’s had her world destroyed over and over again. And I couldn’t see that when I was younger because all I could think about was that I needed her — in the ways a young child needs their parent.

But as I’ve grown older, I look at her with so much gratitude and compassion.

Because being an adult is hard. And life is mostly hard. And being an adult, with trauma, when you have children must feel insurmountable. Yet she never gives up. She never stops. She keeps coming back to our relationship to be the mum I need.

And this is exactly what she did when I got ligament damage at Tash’s house.

She moved in with me and took care of me every day for two months. While also working during the day from the office (because of COVID-19). It’s been a beautiful time of bonding.

During this time, though, she’s watched me struggle immensely. Because of inaccessible housing opportunity after inaccessible housing opportunity. The houses that are affordable are high-risk for dangerous neighbours and my mental health couldn’t handle another attack. And even they are so expensive that I couldn’t rent them.

Then on top of this, the rental market in Gippsland isn’t what it used to be. People from Melbourne have fled here in droves to escape catching COVID-19. bUT Their relocating and renting out all the properties with their big city incomes means that there’s hardly anything here for the locals who fall within the lower socio-economic bracket.

Time to leave Tash’s home was coming to an end and I had nowhere to turn. I ultimately secured the last affordable caravan in Gippsland and was going to live on mum’s front lawn. But then one day, about two weeks ago, she comes back to Tash’s after being out for the night and says she has some news.

She tells me that she is giving me her house.

Yeah.

Not the house I lived in with her and my siblings 7 years ago. She’s since moved into a home that I’ve never lived in.

She’s been in Gippsland for over 30 years. She’s originally from Melbourne way, and she’d like to do a bit of a homecoming of her own. Because she loves all six of her children and can’t fix all our divided relationships, outside of her working hours, she wants to be a wandering mama.

She’s decided to keep one room in her house for when she lives with me, and then she’ll be renting a place with one of my sisters who has been needing to move to Melbourne for her job (as commuting so far was exhausting her). And I get to start decorating it exactly how I’d like as though I already own it.

It’s going to be my forever home. From now until I inherit it (which will hopefully not be for decades to come). And then from when I inherit it until I decide to sell it (or not).

I’m a little shocked. The symbolism of this beautiful, full-circle and healing gesture is not lost of me.

Thankfully my siblings are pretty high-functioning people who have material stability and are building the lives they want. And I’m really glad for them. Even if I don’t have relationships with most of them. I want to see them grow and prosper. And receiving this generous gift from my mum is her way of taking care of me and ensuring I keep growing and prospering, too.

It’s the proof I didn’t know I needed that I am as loved as my siblings.

HOUSING PRIVILEGE

Some of us choose the nomadic life.

Some of us buy or build our own homes.

Some of us are living from rental to rental knowing that we’ll never be able to break the cycle.

And even worse still are those of us who end up on the streets because they can’t afford any of the above.

I can’t speak for everyone, but experiencing both homelessness and unrelenting housing instability drove me to the brink of madness. That’s not an expression. I mean, as much as I’ve healed myself in so many ways over the years, I was starting to lose my mind after living through these consecutive housing traumas.

I don’t care what anyone says: people don’t need to just learn how to make their bodies their homes and learn to make themselves feel safe. That’s New Age bullshit. The reality is that just like children need shelter and stability from their parents when they’re growing up. All people need shelter and housing security that isn’t going to be taken from them. They need to know they are loved and safe, and having a home helps ensure that. There are only so many grounding techniques, meditations, and reframes that one can do before the instability of housing insecurity hits sends you spiraling mentally

Coping every now and then isn’t flourishing.

Never having a solid, unmoving homebase to trust in so that a person can build their life financially and relationally is common but not normal. Or healthy. Or okay.

I’m 32 now and I work hard on my mental health. I have taken radical self-responsibility for my life and the direction it’s going.

But no matter how hard I work or try, I can’t hustle my way out of complex mental health issues that affect my ability to work in a mainstream job (and thusly earn the money that I need to live a comfortable life). I’ll never stop trying to build a degree of wealth that can help me make ends meet. But I will NEVER AGAIN shame myself for not being able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and climb my way up the socio-economic ladder.

The capitalist narrative that we live in a meritocracy where all you have to do is work hard and you can get everything you want is a lie.

The capacity to work varies from person to person. And this isn’t just in relation to physical disability but disabling mental health experiences.

I’ve struggled for 7 year up until yesterday, and all of a sudden I’m someone with housing privilege. I didn’t earn this home. It was a gift from my mum.

But don’t I deserve it? Doesn’t everyone deserve this?

I say a hearty yes.

And yet, it feels bizarre because I don’t know myself as a person who isn’t struggling to survive.

I know it’s going to require a LOT of unpacking. My identity needs to evolve so that I can adapt to this move.

WHAT NOW?

My body still holds a lot of fear around what some of my family can do to me. And moving into this home feels a little bit scary because of it. I asked my mum if she’d agreed to signing a written agreement with me. Something to support my right to be in this home if toxic sibling relationships bleed over into my housing situation again. She is the best. I can’t celebrate her enough for going the extra mile here to prove that she loves me and wants what is best for me.

Because of the familiar instability story, I’m feeling scared to trust that I have a home or won’t be driven out of this house, too.

But I’m choosing to put faith in my mum now. And in the 50% possibility that this situation can work out really, really well.

I get to return “home” and give myself the parenting I never had.

And I’m devoting 2021 to figuring out what this means. Integrating it and working through the painful associations with it.

Fulfilling little dreams like: the joy of being allowed to put pictures up on the wall, creating Pinterest boards for each of the rooms in my new home, watching Workaholics with the sibling I still have a relationship with, and feeling peace because I know my cat can call it his forever home, too.

Adapting to the fulfilment of bigger dreams like: freedom from landlords and real estate agents, and knowing that I can finally put down roots.

Where the repeated upheaval of my life was a constant trigger related to feeling unloved by my siblings and mother, it’s being replaced with a home that represents my mum’s love for me; a testament to relationships that are worth fighting for, parents who are people with their own stories and need a chance to be seen in their humanity, and children who never stop needing to know that they are loved.

Follow me on Instagram: @heycarriemaya

#home #homeless #homelessness #ptsd #mentalillness #mentalhealth #toxicfamily

5 notes · View notes

jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years ago

Text

Through the Flames (Part Six)

Summary: You’re a firefighter with the FDNY. After a fire that ends in tragedy, you find yourself running into some of the Avengers and maybe finding some new friends and romance along the way.

Features: Gun violence; Stabbing

Pairing: Sam Wilson/Reader

Notes: There’s one chance to take out Rumlow, once and for all.

Final part! We just have the epilogue left!

Word Count: 2475

You flinched as Dr. Cho tended to your wound. Sam sat in a chair beside you the entire time, neither of you talking. Your thoughts were racing. Why did they need to talk to you about your father? You knew his work was secretive, but you never thought it could involve the Avengers in any capacity. How much was there that you didn’t know about your own father?

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Sam said. You glanced toward him.

“You’re alright. No one’s in trouble, okay? I should’ve waited to bring it up,” he said, his tone soft. You nodded.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Well, I got shot at one of my best friend’s funeral’s so, you know, just peachy,” you snarked. He smiled a little at that. You grimaced as you felt the last of the stitches go in.

“I’m done. I want to see you back in a week to check on them, they should be ready to come out then,” Dr. Cho said. You nodded.

“Thanks,” you said. Sam helped you up off the hospital bed. Taking your hand in his, he led you out of the medical wing and off to the Avengers wing. He had you sit on a couch while he grabbed waters for the two of you. You took in your surroundings, admiring the simplicity of the room and how homey it felt despite it being in what amounted to a military institution. Sam returned, handing you one of the bottles.

“We have a good idea of who it was. What do you know about HYDRA?” he asked, getting right to the point. You frowned.

“Weren’t they that group that was exposed a few years ago? The one Captain Rogers thought had been wiped out?” you asked. He nodded.

“We have reason to believe some of the survivors are connected to the fires. And to the fire that killed the rest of your family,” he said, trying to break the news as delicately as he could. There was no way around ripping off that bandaid. It was going to hurt no matter how he told you.

“What are you saying Sam?” you asked, you voice raising in pitch. You were sure you were connecting the dots. There was no way he was about to suggest what you thought he was.

“Your father worked for HYDRA back in the day. But that’s not the full story. He was a plant. Fury suspected that SHIELD had been compromised but could never get solid evidence. The governor at the time had been involved in HYDRA. Your father got close enough to him to be trusted. He was working with HYDRA until the collapse in 2014, to get information for Fury. He hadn’t been able to tip him off about Pierce because it would have blown his cover,” Sam explained.

“Where is he? Is he safe? Sam, please. Is my dad safe?” you asked. You felt your anxiety rising. Sam placed a hand on your cheek, as he looked you in the eyes. It was a strangely intimate moment.

“I promise you. We’re doing everything we can to keep him safe. To keep you safe. And keep your friends safe. We’re going to stop them,” he said.

“Were the fires a threat or an attempt to kill me?” you asked. He sighed.

“We think the first ones were a message for you and your father. The last one was no doubt an attempt to kill you,” he confirmed. You sucked in a breath.

“Instead one of my best friend’s got killed,” you said. Your voice cracked and tears threatened to fall. Sam pulled you close and you wrapped your arms around him as you let yourself break.

“HYDRA is gone, but some of their more zealous members lived. Brock Rumlow is the one who shot you. We had a clear image of him on camera. We’re working on tracking him down, but it’s going to take time,” he said. You frowned.

“But I can go home right?” you asked. He shook his head.

“It’s too much of a risk right now,” he replied. You glared at him. You didn’t like where the conversation was going. It sounded more like you were going to be held as a prisoner by the Avengers, or some damsel in distress in a castle. Either way, it wasn’t you. You refused to sit back and do nothing.

“I’m going home,” you said, standing up, careful not to jostle any of your injuries too much. Sam stood with you.

“You can’t. FRIDAY won’t let you out of this building. Not until we catch Rumlow,” he explained. You glared at him. You didn’t care how much you liked Sam. In this moment, he may as well have been your worst enemy with how you were looking at him. He shrunk back under your gaze. He admired the fire in your eyes.

“You listen here Sam, and you listen good. I am not staying here. You’re driving me back to the city to my apartment and if it makes you feel better you can stay the night. But I’m not staying here,” you snapped. Sam held his hands up in mock surrender.

“No can do. As much as I’d love to, you’re safest here. You going back to your place would put your neighbors in danger,” he said. You paused for a moment. You hadn’t thought about that. You thought about Gloria nextdoor with her two kids, an adorable 3 year old and his six month old sister. Angela downstairs who’s grandkids visited constantly to check on her and spend time with her. Martin down the hall with his husband Nate, and their three kids. You knew Sam was right. You couldn’t put them at risk. Your shoulders slumped forward as you nodded in agreement.

“You’re right,” you said softly.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not your fault some HYDRA maniac is after me. Hell, I don’t even blame my father. Sometimes that’s just how it is,” you said. You were already calculating a plan in your head. If Rumlow had gotten this far without the Avengers realizing, you had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy for them to find him. Not without you.

This wasn’t your area of expertise. The best way to get into a car to get to an accident victim without causing further injury, how to vent a roof, signs of structural collapse, those were the things you knew. Taking on a man who was hellbent on getting to you was way outside of your depths. But if it was you he was looking to get to, there was no way you’d sit at the sidelines.

The other Avengers trickled into the room. Sam shot Captain Rogers a look. It seemed like an unspoken conversation was happening between them. A girl you recognized as the Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff, sat beside you.

“We won’t let them get their hands on you,” she said quietly.

“I know,” you replied. Introductions were made all around before Steve jumped into the details of the situation and the plan they had.

“Our best shot is using you to draw him out. I’m not keen on it, but we’ve hit dead ends in trying to find him and his base of operations,” Steve said.

“Absolutely not. We’re not putting her in more danger. He was trying to kill her,” Sam argued. You placed a hand on his arm, gently drawing his attention to you.

“This is my fight, Sam. I might not understand why. But he’s the reason one of my best friend’s is dead. If he wants me, he can come get me. But he’ll have to go through you guys first, won’t he?” you asked. Natasha gave you a slight smile. You counted that as a win in your book when she seemed to not like you very much.

“And if he gets through us?” Sam challenged.

“I have faith in you, Sam. You won’t let him,” you said.

“Fahrenheit’s in. So, what’s the plan, Cap?” Tony Stark asked.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Central Park was oddly quiet in the hours before dawn. But the team had ensured it was empty of civilians. You had set a routine of jogging in the park before the sun rose in the sky once you were medically cleared from your injuries from both the explosion and the gunshot. Surveillance of the park indicated Rumlow knew. And as far as he knew, you had had a falling out with Sam and had left his side, staying in a place graciously rented by Tony Stark for a staycation that had no neighbors inside the building. As far as Rumlow knew, the Avengers weren’t keeping tabs on your moves, not after the public blowup you and Sam had.

You and Sam had taken a walk through the park before going to grab lunch. He made a show of ordering for you, something he knew you hated. You kept reminding yourself. This was Sam. You liked Sam. Sam was your friend. Your very attractive friend who you wished would make a move on you because you were not about to make the first move. It didn’t take the sting away from what you knew was coming, what had to be done.

“I can order for myself,” you snapped. He held his hands up in surrender.

“Fine,” he said. Pretending to fight with him was difficult. But you knew you were being watched. It was a feeling that stuck with you every time you went out these days, ever since you left the safety of living among the Avengers. It had to be believable that you two had a falling out, that you were tired of being followed around by the Avengers.

“I’d like to go out alone for once,” you said bitterly.

“You know why you can’t,” he replied.

“Sam, I am sick and tired of being followed around like I’m a child. I’m a grown woman. I have a job, even if I’m on desk duty filling out reports,” you snapped. This was the start of it, what would hopefully draw Rumlow out.

After lunch, you and Sam stormed off in opposite directions. You had moved into the residence Tony had secured a few days prior. You made a show of tossing Sam’s stuff out as he arrived back, demanding to be left alone.

“Fine. See what happens when we’re not here to protect you,” Sam snapped as he grabbed his duffle bag. It hurt. You knew it wasn’t real, but it still hurt. You never wanted to fight with him, even if it was acting.

You snapped out of your thoughts as you heard movement. You knew Rumlow would still be suspicious. But the hope was he’d at least take the chance to get at you, even with the risk of it being a trap. You were certain you were about to find out if he took the bait.

You heard a bullet fly by your ear as a gunshot rang out. You stumbled over your feet, turning and seeing Rumlow not far behind you.

“Gotta say, I was expecting you to be better protected. I heard you and bird boy had a fight. Shame that the Avengers would just leave you like that,” Rumlow taunted. There was something about his tone that made you believe he knew it was a ruse. You all knew it had been a hail mary play.

“What of it?” you asked.

“You know it’s not your father I’m after. No. No I want him to suffer for the rest of his days, fearful about when we’ll come for him after seeing what we do to you,” Rumlow said.

“So you’re going the villainous monologue route. You do know how that turns out in the end, don’t you?” you fired back. You moved as you saw him pull the trigger again, making the choice to run toward him. You had no time to think. The team should have been there by now, but they were nowhere to be seen. You wrestled him for the gun and it clattered to the ground.

Hand to hand combat was not something they taught you in the fire academy. You tried to meet Rumlow blow for blow but you knew you were outmatched. You fell to the ground but the gun was within reach. You wasted no time in grabbing it. You fired off a shot, hitting Rumlow in the shoulder, but it wasn’t enough to incapacitate him. He was on you in seconds, the gun tossed to the side as you felt a searing pain. He had a knife on him. You heard footsteps as he was yanked away from you.

You looked up and saw Sam, worry etched on his face. You heard him yell for medical assistance.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Sam said as he kept pressure on the wound. You placed your hand over his, for your comfort or his you weren’t sure. But you weren’t planning on letting him go anytime soon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The white walls of the medical wing of the Avengers compound were a sight you were becoming too accustomed to. This time, Helen had you put in the cradle because of how deep the wound was. It was one of the more bizarre experiences of your life.

“I’m really starting to hope I never see this place again,” you said to Sam. Helen was insistent that you still stay overnight, to ensure everything healed properly.

“I’m getting tired of seeing you in here. You scared me today, you know that?” he asked. You ducked your head a little.

“Sometimes, you have to be the hero in your own story,” you replied.

“Sometimes you don’t have to be,” he shot back.

“In my defense, I was doing okay before he pulled the knife on me,” you defended. Sam laughed a little.

“If you consider a broken nose, four broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a stab wound ‘doing okay’. I thought we were going to lose you,” Sam admitted. He looked away from you. You two were skirting around the obvious and you knew it.

“But you didn’t. I’m still here. Thanks to you. To the team. I never doubted for a minute you’d save me,” you told him.

“I was scared. Rumlow managed to take out all the surveillance we had in that area. All I can think about is how I almost didn’t have this chance,” he said. You looked at him, confused.

“What chance?” you asked. He moved closer to you, and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips met yours. Your heart rate sped up and the two of you pulled apart, resting your foreheads together.

“This one,” he said. You didn’t say a word, instead, pulling him in for another kiss.

#Sam Wilson #Sam Wilson x Reader #Sam Wilson/Reader #falcon #the falcon #the falcon/reader #the falcon x reader #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel reader insert #Through The Flames

9 notes · View notes