#Man get my gurl some justice

[truck-senpai]

Girl side of the wedding : Sadly giving up her first love to her sister as she accepts she'll never be satisfied even if she meets her 'equal'

Boys' side : d r u n k s i n g i n g

Also 'YoU'rE tHe WoRsT bUrRr'😂

[yevmarie]

Light My Fire | Chapter 6

Masterlist

< Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 >

Plot: having lost everything you are drowned in depression, which had happened to you a year ago. Now you need to struggle with the apocalypse as well with no sparkle in your heart. But there is one man who can light your fire to live.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

Word count: 2.4k

Pronouns: you, she/her

Warnings (the chapter is a whole red flag, I'm sorry): angst, just a bit of angry and fluffy Daryl, swearing, smoking (by reader), physical abuse towards the reader (but the abuser is punished), the reader finally goes nuts (and there's no wonder here), differences from the main plot may occur, bad English (not my first language).

A/N: I'm a bit struggling with writing currently, so I literally pushed myself to finish the chapter even with the ready dialogue from the episode. I hope I didn't mess it up so much. And I want to apologize ahead if I didn't add you to the taglist. I'm not good at being attentive to details, so please don't take it personally and don't hesitate to let me know if I accidentally skipped you <3.

Taglist: @your-shifting-gurl @bae-live-0 @richardsamboramylove55 @deansapplepie @snailss @denisecabrera @dreamtofus

You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling of Daryl’s tent. Another tough morning, but with less nausea and headaches, thank God. It seems like your physical and mental states are gradually returning to normal. But you still feel worn out and lost because of the emotional rollercoasters and the events causing them.

You were thinking about whether Merle is still alive or not, hoping for the best, of course. You were scared to see Daryl finding out his brother had been cuffed on the roof of the building full of walkers. And it seemed like only you were bothered by this situation. Everyone else seemed not to care at all. It was obvious the Dixons were not members of a blue-blood family, but it wasn’t a reason for the group to take justice into their own hands. It hurt you that Rick didn't understand your concerns. Sure, he didn’t. You couldn't tell him that the rednecks were the only ones who somehow cared about you because his wife and best friend were too busy with each other. Yes, it wasn’t like the brothers did everything for you, but it was way more than Shane did. Let’s be honest; he did nothing except ignore you.

You finally decided to get up, making your way to get breakfast near the campfire. Sitting alone, you caught different looks from the people in the group. You were ready for it and tried not to pay much attention. After the meal, you went back to Daryl’s tent to brew coffee and read a book. Thanks to Carol, who understood your state and let you have your deserved rest. You went a bit further from the tent to find some wood. You slowly walked, collecting sticks, trying to occupy your mind with your favorite songs you hummed when suddenly you heard Shane’s voice.

“Hey, baby girl. Why are you walking here alone?” you turned around and saw him getting closer to you.

“How long have you been following me?” you asked, keeping a poker face but at the same time feeling some unexplainable sense of danger crawling under your skin, making you shiver.

“I haven’t. Just was walking around,” the man chuckled and stood up too close to you. You knew every inch of this person, all his moves, gestures, tones of voice, look. But this was a different person. He wasn’t the Shane you used to know and love. Something had changed in him.

“Shane, what do you want?” you were trying to register every move of him that could signalize danger so you could fight or flee. Surely not freeze.

“Nothing. Just to talk,” Shane’s smile was slowly fading away.

“Don’t you think you should do this with Rick first?” suddenly you thought you would need to run away soon. You didn’t know why this thought came to you, and the absence of reasoning made your heart race.

“I do think I should do it with you only,” Shane’s voice sounded lower. You gulped but tried to do your best to stay cold.

“Ah, gotcha. No one is going to admit you both messed up and tell Rick how ‘faithful’ you are. Of course, he’ll beat the shit out of you. But why do this when there’s me who can be threatened and manipulated any way you like, huh?” you still tried to hide any emotions, though you were trembling like a leaf when Shane took a step towards you. “Shane, don’t move. You are scaring me,” you laid your arm where your gun usually is, but you felt only the fabric of your clothes.

“You left the camp without your gun, Y/N,” this dickhead had been following you for a while and noticed you were unarmed.

Shit!

In another moment, you felt his arm squeezing your neck, slamming you into the nearest tree and hurting the back of your head. You instinctively tried to inhale but struggled to do so, ending up coughing.

"If Rick somehow finds out about Lori and me…” you barely heard him whispering in your ear but interrupted.

“Then what? You’ll kill me?” you huffed, trying to free yourself from Shane’s firm grip. “If she’s pregnant, then I’ll be such a waste of a weapon. What will you do then, huh?” Here, you realized you had found this weak spot by how his breath started shaking, and he couldn’t find any words to answer. “Oh, darling, you’re so fucked up,” you felt the squeeze become tighter. You looked into Shane’s eyes with your almost blurred sight.

“Nothing to say?” you felt Shane’s hard breath and tremble going through his hand still holding your neck. “Then finish what you’ve started because I won’t keep silent. I will make you pay for everything you've done to me, you piece of shit,” the slap of his hand stung your cheek and made you wince and close your eyes.

You heard some noise, similar to how arrows hit, followed by punches and curses. You exhaled with all your lungs, coughing as you were freed from Shane’s grip. You fell on the ground and blinked away the haze covering your sight, seeing Daryl sitting above Shane, who was laying on the ground, and punching him. The archer stopped for a second to have a look at you and felt relief you were alive. Pale, coughing, eyes washing with tears, but alive.

You heard Shane’s laugh. “Y/N, I see you didn’t waste any time as well.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and leaning on the tree.

After another punch to Shane’s face, Daryl gripped the man’s shirt collar.

“Listen carefully, ‘cause I won’t repeat this. If I ever see ya touching her, talking to her, or even looking at her. Any movement towards her I don’t like, ya’re dead. Ya’re fucking dead and will be feeding the walkers around,” Daryl stood up and walked towards you, taking out the arrow that had hit the tree next to you.

Shane stood up as well, wiping the blood from his nose and dusting himself off from the soil. 

“You’re just in time, Daryl…” Shane started but was shut up by Daryl turning to him.

“Skull itching?” the archer clenched his fist, threatening to break the arrow he was holding.

“Talk to you later,” Shane mumbled and slowly headed back to camp.

“Are you okay?” Daryl sat down close to you, caressing your cheek to wipe away your tears. You could only shake your head in response. “What the hell was all that?”

“Rick…” you gulped to soothe your hoarse voice. “Rick, that friend I was talking about. He is back. His wife and Shane…”

“Gotcha. I gotcha,” Daryl bit his lower lip. “Where’s your weapon?”

“I left it in the tent…”

Daryl stood up and wiped the sweat beads covering his face.

“Why the hell is it in the tent?” Daryl yelled, looking at you crying. “I told ya your recklessness will kill ya one day. Lucky ya I was just coming back,” the archer was freaking out. His voice grew louder, his breath heavy and shaky. He bit his lower lip, obviously trying not to lose his composure completely.

“Daryl, I… I owe you till the end of my days,” you sniffled.

“I'll let it off if ya keep your damn weapon with ya and leave the camp at least with someone ya trust,” Daryl was still speaking in a raised voice, though he wasn’t angry at you. He was angry at the whole situation. He couldn’t cheer you up because he needed it as well. He understood your shock when a person you once considered beloved, shared plans and dreams with, and even bedded, nearly killed you. But witnessing that scene was too much for him. He just thanked whatever higher power there was that he arrived in time.

“Ya promise me?” you lifted your head to meet his eyes full of despair and just nodded as tears made your words stick in your throat.

“Good,” he took your hand to help you stand up. Scared to face his eyes again, you hugged his waist, leaning your head on his chest, hearing his heart threatening to jump out of his ribcage.

“Thank you,” you said trembling, clutching his shirt for dear life. You felt him tense, but he finally hugged you tightly and brushed your hair with his calloused fingers.

“Let’s go,” Daryl said with his gruff voice, loosening the hug. You nodded, letting him go, and waited for him to grab his crossbow from his hunting run.

“Nice garland,” you joked, pointing at the bundle of killed squirrels. Daryl rolled his eyes.

“Then ya won’t eat it but enjoy seeing it hanging near the tent.”

“I’d rather see Shane’s body instead,” you mumbled, earning a scrunched face from Daryl. Suddenly, you heard the noise of scrunched leaves, as if there was some animal nearby.

“Go back,” Daryl whispered. “I’ll come later. Seems like we’ll have deer today.”

You nodded and slowly moved towards the camp.

---

Arriving at the camp, you went into the tent to retrieve your gun, fearing your ex could do something stupid again, and headed to the campfire, seeing Daryl returning only with the squirrels. You guessed the attempt to catch the animal had failed.

“Merle!” Daryl called out. “Merle! Get your ugly ass right here! I got us some squirrels! Let’s stew ‘em up.”

“Daryl, just slow down a bit. I need to talk to you,” you saw Shane following the archer.

“Want to get another punch?” the younger Dixon turned around to Shane.

“Calm down. It’s about Merle. There was a… There was a problem out there.”

Daryl looked around to see all the people concerned and you avoiding his eyes, taking out a cigarette to light up. Your reaction hit him hard.

“He dead?”

“We’re not sure,” Shane answered, scratching his nose and hissing at the pain caused by Daryl’s right hook earlier.

“He either is or he ain’t!” Daryl started to freak out, not getting a clear answer from the group.

“No easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it,” you turned around slowly, puffing out smoke to see Rick coming up to the archer.

“Who are ya?”

“Rick Grimes.”

“Rick Grimes? Ya got something ya want ta tell me?”

“Your brother was a danger to us all. So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He’s still there.”

“Why are you so sure?” you asked Rick and dropped the cigarette to stub it out.

“Y/N! This doesn’t help at all,” Rick glanced at you fiercely.

“I could have helped if you hadn’t stopped me!” you cried, yelling at your friend, who clenched his jaws, feeling guilty for everything that had happened on that damn roof.

“Hold on. Let me process this,” Daryl wiped away the tear threatening to fall, which caused your heart to twist in pain. He was so vulnerable and desperate; it hit you hard. He was always so caring towards you, but you couldn’t help him at all. Rick barely stopped you from driving to Atlanta yesterday.

“Ya’re saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and left him there?” the archer’s yell rang in your ears, feeling all the pain he was expressing.

“Yeah,” Rick looked at the ground to avoid the younger Dixon’s gaze, which was already burning him. Daryl breathed heavily, threw the bundle of squirrels to the sheriff, and was ready to attack him when suddenly he was pushed to the ground by Shane. You ran up to Daryl, but he took out a knife, so you stepped back in fear and froze. The archer stood up grunting and jumped at Rick but was stopped by Shane’s punch and then the further grip around his neck.

“Stop!” you shouted, but no one heard you as if you were not there.

“You’d better let me go!” Daryl huffed, trying to free himself.

“Nah, I think it’s better if I don’t,” Shane squeezed the archer’s neck.

“Chokehold’s illegal!” Daryl screamed, and you lost your temper, taking out the gun and pointing it at Shane.

“You can file a complaint,” Shane grunted but froze when he heard the click of the safety lock.

“Getting a little touchy-feely there today, hun?” you breathed heavily, feeling your sight hazy again and all the sounds becoming dull, turning to ringing. Shane slowly loosened the grip to free up Daryl, who was trying to catch his breath.

“Y/N,” Rick came up to you to calm you down but was stopped by you pointing the gun at him.

“I see this group understands only the language of violence, so I’ll talk this way,” you looked at everyone around. “You either have a calm discussion on this topic, or I’ll start shooting and attract walkers.”

“Calm down!” Shane growled at you but was cut off by you immediately.

“Don’t even talk to me if you want to be safe,” you said through gritted teeth, hinting by looking at Lori and back at him. You started to pray Rick hadn’t noticed it.

“Y/N, give me your gun. Please,” you looked at Rick slowly approaching you. You shook your head and locked the gun, putting it back in your harness. You took out another cigarette and lit it. Such a harmful and useless habit aimed to calm you down, but honestly, it never helped you. You sat on the log nearby and kept looking at the men who finally started a dialogue.

---

When you made sure Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn worked out a plan to get back to Atlanta to find Merle and started to prepare for the run, you went to the tent to finally have your coffee and a book. Daryl followed you to take another arrows.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Didn’t know ya were such a hothead.”

“Me neither,” you replied emotionlessly and looked back at the man.

“Merle would like it.”

“And you?” your question made Daryl fluster.

“I still think ya’re reckless. But ya learn fast. I’ll tell ya some tricks when I’m back,” the man mumbled confusedly.

“Take care of yourself,” you gently smiled at him, causing butterflies in the archer’s stomach.

The man nodded and chewed his lower lip. “You too.”

You also nodded and watched the archer walk away.

< Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 >

[tacky-optic]

Had a question about who our favorite Zenigata partner is in a server I'm in and now I can't stop thinking about them. Tis the zaza sickness.

anyway here's literally all of the characters Zenigata's been partnered with that i could find (within reason). if anyone wants to elaborate on any of these guys (cough yata cough) please feel free to go absolutely ham. *(obligatory spoiler warning for a whole lotta lupin specials, waow-- notably zenigata keibu since that's probably the most unwatched of everything i cover. but if youre here im guessing youre as unfortunately well-versed as i am so LETS FRIGGIN GET INTO IT)

Starting off nice n' mellow. I'm pretty neutral on Yata, tbh. I just think he's neat and it's easy enough to write him and not much else. I've rambled about him being a stand-in for the viewer before, but overall i just don't have all that many thoughts on the guy (seriously someone please do yata). ironic considering he's hands-down the most prevalent sidekick to date, but alas. head remains empty.

MARIYA. Mariya my girlie oh how i love thee. finally, someone with a Gimmick on par with Mr. my-sword-can-cut-anything. Plus she's super sweet and smart and sharp and just an all-around endearing character. AND SHE'S DIFFERENT!! she's tagging along with Zenigata of her OWN FREE WILL like gurl what are you THINKING. there isn't a shred of coherent interview material to draw from this man, especially about Lupin. The dynamic they end up developing is on point, though!! Zenigata's initial total miscall of it aside, It's just plain ol' wholesome. If Yata's his surrogate son than Mariya's obviously his daughter. No shot in hell they don't at least keep in contact after the special's done. plus her snapping a pic of him every time he eats shit is peak comedy journalism

MOTHAFUCKIN' MELON COP!! an absolutely magical reefer-smokin' shitbag, especially in the edgy Tokyopop translation. He's a great foil to our otherwise serious(ly neurotic) manga Zenigata. Not to mention the combative potential with a down the line Melon.... ough. A more toned-down "newer part"-esque Zeni getting slapped with an extremely smug and insistent reminder of his angstlord past is such a delicious concept to me. i will be using this guy extensively in that exact way one of these days-- he's too fun not to.

a bit of a sidenote but i've gotta point fingers at gray jacket again (can't recommend it enough) for having my favorite melon depiction in fic; walther recently had him show up in their fic secondhand vanity as well (which i also can't recommend enough), so needless to say i think he has some fun potential.

Sakuraba and Kunikida from the live-action show get honorable mentions, obviously. They're both so different yet learn so much from Zenigata all the same. As far as reacting to the inspector goes, they're the ideal Yatas (again i am so so sorry yata-- surely someone will do you justice). Even though they aren't technically "new" to the force they're new to the Zenigata Shenanigans, and that is where the entertainment factor is. Sakuraba's the traditionalist keibu method-doubter whereas Kunikida's this mousey blue around the gills fella, and over their respective case file appearances, they both gain faith in/learn confidence from Zenigata, respectively. It really is a great bit of development to watch play out.

I'm gonna count The Guys™️ as a collective group/formless mass with maybe one of the Guyest of Guys as Zenigata's right hand Guy, like that one dude in Cagliostro. Apparently the name he's given in one of the dubs is Sam?? That's neat. Sam's neat. for anyone interested in some homework, here's the link to the highly informative lupin forum thread i found that out from: [x]

But yeah the Guys! Right from the start, Zenigata having this army of inexplicably and absurdly loyal cops was always a fun trope and i love to see 'em whenever they show up. I had this idea ages ago for this fake documentary-style miniseries based around them-- all the usual Lupin nonsense goes on in the background while we get a peek at the typically unseen shenanigans happening on the law-bearing side. Getting assigned to the lupin taskforce is probably seen as some kind of punishment, but that just makes the camaraderie all the more tight-knit. There'd be some behind-the-scenes Zenigata/how he interacts with them, what they get up to on their own whack case assignments when they're in a Lupin sighting lull.... hell maybe we even learn why they're all so damn loyal to this one supposedly hyper-independent guy. I think it'd be fun but maybe that's just the Zenigata hopeful in me. Surely he's capable of building some semblance of rapport with the fine group of folks he drags around the world with him....

Let's just rip the band-aid off-- I dislike Oscar with a burning passion. which is weird, right? because i like Melon Cop, the dude who's totally cool with straight-up cold-blooded judge/jury/executioner-style murder. I dunno dude the obsessive daddy kink simping's just too feckin' weird for me. i checked the hell out so fast. If the goal was to make Oscar extremely disquieting, they friggin' did it. Granted he was written to be a bit whack from the start, and getting raised(?)/mentored by THAT Zenigata would irreversibly mess anyone up. I get that the fucked up-ness is part of the appeal, but man. How anyone can gravitate towards Oscar without heavily modifying his whole deal escapes me.

I've seen him written tolerably in fic maybe... twice? He's in gray jacket (there it is again!) and SMRO (needs no introduction nor explanation), so obligatory kudos to anyone who can wrangle [gestures vaguely at all of that].

Vicky though. Vicky Flannigan from Island of Assassins is so goddamn funny. Still can't believe they took one of the most badass Zenigata character designs and actively went out of their way to make him bedridden. I've seen folks call him "Proto-Yata" and. Yeah. Can't argue. He's a glorified babysitter, if anything, and the only reason he's even remotely effective is because he (accidentally) broke both of Zenigata's legs. Funniest shit istg

ICPO LADIES!!! They're cute. Designs could be better but it's Babylon yknow. Despite being an admittedly fun romp, the special has its obvious.... uh. issues. product of its time and all that. iykyk. anyway LADIES. They're competent. They take No Shit from Zenigata. The random little crush that comes out of nowhere between Chinjao and Goemon is cute as hell. Plus, I've seen some pretty rockin' fandom redesigns floating around.... wouldn't mind in the slightest if they made a comeback.

I'm gonna lump all of the Betrayers into one category: Emily O'Brien from Angel Tactics, Kazami from Fuma Conspiracy, and Terry Crown from Alcatraz Connection. Never expected the "Zenigata's partner is the bad guy!!1" trope would be so prevalent, but it tracks in retrospect. It's a neat enough idea-- bummer they never seemed to nail it down, though.

The only reason O'Brien is so predictable is because she's so goddamn unlikable. There's hardly any screentime of them working together and in every single scene, the incompetency just feels so blatantly intentional its almost offensive lmao. Zero surprise in the slightest when she showed her true colors-- just mild annoyance, which tracks for the whole special tbh. Only worthwhile parts are the beginning and the end, and absolutely none of that has anything to to with O'Brien.

Kazami just has that chump secondary villain face y'know. Again, a bit on the nose how obnoxiously dorkish he is-- but them playing up him putting on his glasses so Fujiko can recognize him got a little laugh outta me, ngl. He served his purpose, plain and simple.

I'll never know whether Crown was predictable or not because I stumbled across ""Evil Columbo"" before I watched Alcatraz, but despite the spoiler I can at least say he isn't lame as shit. Pre-reveal, he's probably the closest we'll get to a taste of what Melon might be like in modern Lupin media. He's your run-of-the-mill corrupt sleazebag detective-- steals evidence, generally doesn't give a fuck, takes cheap jabs at Zenigata-- but their final standoff is what puts him above Kazami for me. Just a real melodramatic overdramatic moment of Zenigata Zenigata-ing his heart out.

Welcome to the ELDERLY MEN CATEGORY, OORAH. The old guy from Twilight Gemini, Kogoro Akechi from the pilot, and George McFly from First Contact. I could track down Gemini old guy's name, but I hand-to-god couldn't care less. The only worth a damn thing Gemini's given me is that one jigzeni screenshot, so we're just gonna move on to the next two.

Not much of Akechi, huh. He only shows up in the pilot and doesn't do anything of note besides be someone for Lupin to disguise himself as. Dare i say Goemon was a more effective ally to Zenigata than Akechi...? yeah sure, why not. Goemon's a zeni sidekick. i'll die on that hill. anyway I believe he's also a reference to a pre-existing character...? like Lupin, Goemon, and Zenigata are. All in all its probably for the best that he didn't make it to part 1.

Finally, the only old guy that actually has aspects to talk about. I actually really like McFly and the role he plays in First Contact; it isn't Zenigata learning from whoever his partner may be, but McFly learning from Zenigata. He's a jaded, on-the-verge-of-retirement type that thinks he's seen all the force has to offer, but here comes this young (is he considered "young" in this?? early, maybe) freak-ass foreigner cop with a vendetta he's practically frothing at the mouth to rectify. Neither of them are exactly enthused to be working together, but McFly sticks around anyway and learns to see past a lot of Zenigata's first impression baggage; the tenacity, the passion, the genuineness of it all. Not only does he want to make real change, but the crazy bastard can actually friggin' do it. ...Or at the very least make a sizable dent.

Zenigata sincerely adheres to the idea of what a cop's supposed to be, fundamentally, and not what a "cop" actually is, as a vague collective occupational concept. Zenigata has a genuine effect on McFly-- enough to make him just the slightest bit less soured by the end of it all. It's a nice sentiment; that no matter where you are in life, ideas can still change. It's a small arc that flies beneath the radar of everything else, but i noticed it. I FRIGGIN' NOTICED IT, MAN

tl;dr Zenigata's a lonely guy, sure, but he doesn't have to be.

That should cover all of the significant parts/specials/movies, but if i missed anyone (any notable episodes? manga?) lemme know. Either way, it's nice finally having 'em all in one place.

[ayumitsuu]

Ayu plays FE4 (Gen 1 - Chp. 0-5)

Just some thoughts and screenshots I had while playing. Not necessarily an in-depth story walkthrough.

Prologue: Birth of the Holy Knight

Sigurd = Mega Chad

Alec x Noish = cute <3

Arden is da man

Um, Siggy? Does a 14-year-old really need real war exp?

ETHLYN X QUAN, YES 😍

AZELLE X LEX, YESSSS 💗

Arvis kinda a jerk... thx for the Silver Sword tho

Read more if you wish! Spoilers ahead!

Chapter 1: Girl of the Spirit Forest

Oh no, a bandit. Whatever shall I do? *woe is me*

Oof, aren't you that OP hottie taking all the castles from here to Jungby?

P-pretty lady... *Siggy brain go BRRRR*

Dayum. Love confession on the second meeting? This man clearly has not read any WEBTOONs.

This is titled "baddies reveal evil plot.PNG" Naga, Manfroy talks a lot...

Chapter 2: Disturbance in Agustria

In what world could you ever compete with my gurl Lach? Don't you EVER disrespect her again, you utter buffoon.

Setup to get the Elite Ring on Lachesis while preventing the triplets from ruining all your plans.

This one is titled "Lewyn rizz.PNG" but I think I missed the part I wanted. After this he says something like, "jk, you're the most beautiful just as you are."

"Eldigan is dumb.PNG" This move made absolutely no sense to me and seemed completely against Eldigan's ideals of justice and protecting the common people.

Chapter 3: Eldigan, the Lionheart

"tell him Lach.PNG" Knock some sense into your blockhead (hot) brother.

DESTROY HIM FFFFFFF 🤬

Chapter 4: Dance in the Skies

"one man holding up army.PNG" Sir, can you please MOVE????!!!??

Everyone was blaming themselves but this man was singlehandedly responsible for the tragedy at Silesse.

No thanks, I hate him. Step on a LEGO, Andrei.

Chapter 5: Doors of Destiny

*squints* Navarre...? Is that you?

YOU PROMISED!!! YOU SWORE IT!!!!!

*cries violent projectile tears*

*uncontrollable sobbing*

*deceases*

......no comment, Arvis. SHUT UP, MANFROY.

No, no, no... *Beloved One plays*

Game: *keeps going after Chp. 5*

Me, shooketh, heart shattered to pieces: W-wha... what just happened... *tears flow unbidden*

[arcplaysgames]

Well you said "gender" so now people give a shit.

gosh you know what yeah, in America we get taught that Frankenstein is the first work of science fiction, but the story of Kaguya honestly fits the bill much better-

gurl what

MORGANA IS A VOLKSWAGON NOW

This line made me laugh out loud tbh. Way to hang a lampshade.

Okay so instead of Tartarus, we have Mementos. Admittedly not as pithy of a name. Morgana is hoping to unlock the secret of their true form by exploring deeper into Mementos, delving into the collective subconscious.

I love you, Ann.

Does Morgana not remember whether they are boy or gorl or other? That's very telling. By all means, if he feels like a boy, neat. But the fact that there are a lot of question marks around that makes me think once again that Morgana isn't human but is some manifestation of something from the collective unconsciousness, like Teddie was.

Also Morgana gives me massive Teddie vibes anyway. Oh, the annoying mascot character who I wind up liking a whole bunch? but a CAT THIS TIME instead of a white guy? Perfect.

Maybe Notigor is the Big Bad of the game while Morgana is the Big Good. Notigor represents confinement and false accusations and abuse of authority masquerading as "rehabilitation." Morgana has thus far enabled actual rehabilitation.

But we're so early on, who fucking knows. I am very interested in Morgana's arc tho. Like Teddie as the Star, Morgana's SLink is on a plot-progression time table, so I assume he's going to be tied to the themes of the story like Teddie was.

also the degree to which i mistrust this child cannot be overstated. FEAR ALL PRECOCIOUS CHILDREN. You better fucking not be the Justice arcana, child, i swear to fuck.

WOW Mishima's personality change now that Kamoshida is gone!!!!

Which: makes sense. He was one of the preferred punching bags and was the fucking grim reaper to his classmates, sending them to see Kamoshida for their daily beatings. Breaking loose from that would inspire a dramatic turn, easy.

He's the one who set up the Phan-Site (lmao, nice pun tbh) for the Thieves. He really really really wants to get in on helping them out and is, uh. Mildly overeager.

Moon arcana, huh. I'm being a nerd and staring at one of my own Moon cards rn.

Moon and Hanged Man are very similar in my eyes. Hanged Man is about the Choice but with the Moon, it's a place you find yourself eventually. When there has been a dramatic change in your life, the Moon represents the period of calm after. The usual depiction is of the Moon's reflection, actually, bouncing up from a pond or river, and drawing the attention of a fish or scorpion or something else.

The Moon is like staring into a mirror. It can help you understand yourself and become re-acquainted after a traumatic event. But it can also drag your journey to a halt and even lead you into madness if you don't figure out how to look away and understand what reality is.

Mishima has def been through the traumatic incident. My fear is that he throws himself too far into the Phan-Site thing and needs help clawing his way out.

also, in the Death route, I am picking the most ridiculous options and I cackled at her response. there ain't a drug that can fix Reverie Vantas The Fifth lmao.

anyway, LOOK AT THE FUCKING POLLEN

As someone living in the american south, I can look out my window right now and see my car fucking covered in a sheet of pollen. IT'S HELL. IT SUCKS. FUCKING GODDAMN TREES, STOP IT!

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 293 SPOILERS

(These children used their one collective brain cell and decided to rush head first into the arms of Death with zero fucks given)

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Oh that orange hair is not a good look on Shiggy. Izuku looks adorable in anything I can't argue.

We get an adorable panel of Eri eating a cracker/cookie next Lemillion bursting forth from the ground once more. Izuku ask him how he's here rn and apparently this boy has just been chilling at Nighteye's agency, which is conveniently not to far from here. He had to of had his quirk for a while now if he was at the agency right?

Omg look at Eri!! She's so cute I literally have to point her out whenever she's on screen. I don't make the rules here, that's just how it is. And Ochako is doing her hair!!!! I'm gonna explode from the cuteness. And all that other stuff they're talking about is important to I guess.

SHE'S SO FUCKING CUTE I LITERALLY CAN NOT

They're all babies. She looks so happy to help out too. The little bounce she does when she looks back at Dadzawa for permission. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Mirio is asking for back up cause even he can't take on 4 NHEs by himself. So of course Bakugou, with the two holes in his abdomen, leaps in to action even tho he really shouldn't. I swear these kids are all suicidal.

THESE FUCKING KIDS AND THEIR LACK OF SELF PRESERVATION IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR. Also, I believe the time is now upon us my brothers and sisters.

(Edit: I just realised I've been spelling his fucking name wrong this whole time. My brain just autocorrected it to the proper spelling and I didn't even noticed lmao. Please forgive me.)

Of course Spinner thinks it's cool. IS JEANIST FUCKING CRYING LMAO

I like it. It's very Katsuki Bakugou and not nearly as bad as the first two. You go, Dynamite. Man, I can't wait to see the fandom's reaction to this. How many people are gonna throw a tantrum cause its not Ground Zero? Or fucking Kacchan?

Mirio says he thinks it's funny and Dynamite says it's not meant to be funny. Mirio quotes Nighteye speech about there being laughter and you to balance out the sorrow and apologises for the absolute disrespect he just showed my son's new hero name.

Enji, sweetheart, I know your in shock about your dead son not being dead and that you're literally on death's door, but Shouto is going to fucking die if you don't move your ass. I'm not mad and I understand why you're not doing anything right now. But, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, i would sacrifice you in a heartbeat if it meant saving Shouto's life. Don't get me wrong, I like your character a lot, but you dying would be a nice end to your redemption arc if you end up saving Shouto. And at this point I honestly don't care about what happens to Dabi. He's trying to kill my son. Fuck that guy lol. Doesn't mean I don't like him tho.

Why are people defending this guy again? Cause of his trauma? Don't get me wrong, I like Dabi as much as the next guy but if his death means Shouto gets to live, I don't have a problem with that either. Dabi and Enji are in the same boat.

My boi Deku coming in clutch with Black Whip even tho he really shouldn't be to save his best friend. Dabi's gonna try to burn him too, I can feel it coming. Also Izuku is thinking about how his arms and legs don't have any strength like that's the only thing wrong with them. He'd be lucky if he can even move them when all of this is over.

"Don't put this in a Doujin" I am deceased. Cris is no longer among the living. She has ascended to the heavens. Who ever this translater is, they're doing God's work. I can't wait to see the discourse about Izuku's speech in the tags. I can already hear the "Izuku is defending Endeawhore therefore he supports abuse #canceldeku2020" posts in my head. Anyway, I like what Izu says here tho, it's very much in character for him. I also like his Froppy inspired Black Whip: Projectile Vomit Mode. Very unexpected tbh.

Izuku yells "You are not Endeavour" and Dabi responds with "No shit, Sherlock" and asks if Izuku pities him even a little bit and I wouldn't fault him for straight up saying "No" considering everything Dabi has put him and his friends through. Hell, if I was Midoriya I wouldn't even be trying to get through to him rn. A trait I strongly admire about Izuku. Dabi goes on to say he is the culmination of all of Endeavour's sins and we get a panel showing threads snapping and I don't know if it's supposed to be what's left of Izuku's mental stability or Dabi's. Or if it's an actual thread snapping. Dabi goes on to spout some bullshit about how evil will never prosper and justice will crumble now that he's shown the naive citizens of Japan who to blame, which is the heroes apparently.

Uhhh so that snapping thread I mentioned earlier is actually the carbon fibre wire Jeanist is using to keep Machia contained and like all of them just snapped like twigs. Dabi continues his speech about how chaos now reigns supreme while everyone panics about Machia. Meanwhile Deku is having a moment.

Correction, Endeavour was the one having a moment and has decided to take action despite his obvious condition called dying. He rockets his way towards Machia and bitch slaps him in the face and immediately follows that up by saying he feels numb. He totally gonna die and I'm totally gonna feel sad about it. I'm already tearing up.

FUCKING FINALLY GOD DAMNIT

I knew it was gonna work. Never doubt my gurl Creati. She's the smartest kid in class for a reason. It feels like it took forever but it was probably only a few mins. I can't wait for everything to go wrong again. Also, everyone who thinks Endeavour is either going to die or, end up with a debilitating disability, raise your hand 🙋. Mans suffering from the most severe case of heat stroke to ever stroke and is running on burnt lungs and he was impaled by Shigaraki/AFO. He's not having a fun time.

I think it's safe to say that Eri won't healing anyone after this. It looks like all her quirks energy went into giving Mirio his quirk. Meaning all these injuries that the heroes are getting won't be magically disappearing. Aizawa isn't getting his leg back, Izuku's arms are probably never gonna work again, Gran Torino is fucking dead just like Endeavour's career, and Endeavour is probably gonna fucking die too. Cause Shouto doesn't have enough trauma in his life.

Time for me to venture into the tags and see what the latest discourse is. Can't wait for everyone to call Izuku an abuser sympathiser even tho he called out Endeavour during the sports, or say that the heroes are somehow abusing Eri like Overhaul did cause she gave Mirio his quirk back even tho she clearly wanted to do it. The chaos fuels me.

Until next time.

[tsuki-sennin]

Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Epi-

Spoilers, I guess...

-Wow, Subaru Kimura does like... a really good job?

-Eitoku too, that man is a living legend.

-HE'S PUTTING IKKI BACK IN THE PHOTO I'M :sob: :sob:

-Tama-chan :D

-You're doin' great buddy, just keep doing what you're doing :)

-BUU-SAN :O

-How's Genta doin???

-He's back!!

-I don't mean to harp on how suspicious I find Weekend, but I really hope getting put back into a militaristic organization involving Vistamps, demons, and Kamen Riders doesn't affect Genta's mental state too badly.

-Hug your daughter, man!

-Damn, like... Gen-chan looked really cool in that last shot. It's hard to believe that goofy Japanese dad ByTuber Genta Igarashi and hardened private military veteran Junpei Shiranami are the same person, but uh... whew, I see why Yukimi fell for him.

-Igarashi Fam got me cryin' in the old Deadmans Nightclub for real

-Oh God, we're seeing Aguilera as a kid again. ...and yep, those creepy-ass doomers trying to mold this young child into a bridal sacrifice still make me deeply uncomfortable, which... is kinda the point, so good job guys.

-Damn, even in the throes of despair brought upon by years of deception and doubt... you're still slaying in those outfits, queen.

-Hikaru, do you even have creepy-ass parents? Or are Tasuke and Kimiko the closest thing you have?

-"I'm the interrupting Tamaki-kun~! :D"

-Guess that's why they say be careful what you wish for, huh Sakura?

-OH FUCK THERE SHE IS

-"1v1 me, bitch"

-Slayin' with Queen Bee!

-"Hold my bag, Hikaru-kun. Girlbosses are talking."

-Heated drama between men... and women! Kinoshita knows exactly what we as a society want!

-"Hahaha, good job my well-intentioned soldiers! With these Vistamps recovered, we are one step closer to our ultimate goal~! Mwahahahahahahahaha! Er, I mean- Hahahaha, isn't that wild to think about?"

-Man, Jun Hashimoto looks like he's having the time of his life playing Akaishi, and honestly I respect that so hard.

-Wow, ok. "She's only your sister's stalker bro, fuck her lmao."

-Oh hi George. Akemi-san.

-"For the greater gooood~!"

-You'll go find evidence... alone, you mean? I mean, I'm absolutely living for the ladies in this show being so proactive and important, but are you sure you wanna do that?

-"Ohhhh, okay, I won't be reckless." said Akemi-sensei, the liar.

-THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG

-Love-chan, help us, you're our salvation!

-She went kaboom.

-BONK

-Ohhhh, I guess it's taking a toll on Lovekov.

-Is the Queen Bea Deadman... Deadwoman? Who cares, is she covered in honey?

-Damn, cool touch.

-Aaaaand, Aguilera wins on a technicality.

-"Rabu... Sakura :("

-She gone.

-Ohhhhhh, wow, that's dark.

-Raised in isolation to become a dark messiah. A Queen of All Evil for the brainwashed masses of the Deadmans.

-Fuck, dude.

-...gotta say though, that's a really good drawing of Ikki, Vice. Is there some sort of hidden artistic side to Ikki we haven't seen?

-Guess we need to be the best oldest brother in the universe, again!

-Akemi the infiltration expert. Never has inevitable shock and terror been so good looking.

-OH GOD AKAISHI'S GOT THE CREEPY EYE HAND OUT

-OH GOD GIFU

-"The driver's fine." ...kinda looks like Sakura should give the screen a bit of the old iCloth though. ...maybe a spray of EVEO.

-"You need to get a grip, gurl" said Papa Karizaki in his Bane voice.

-Aww, Hikaru's actually concerned.

-As much of an asshole Tasuke is, he does kinda have a point. Regardless of the circumstance, Aguilera's a national criminal, and even if she were to live out her life as Hana Natsuki, she'd still have to deal with the trauma and abuse she suffered at the hands of Akaishi and the rest of the cult.

-I guess the big question here isn't "Could Sakura stick to her ideals?" but instead "Can Sakura live with whatever consequence that comes from her sense of justice?"

-Oh this is fucked.

-Spirited away, OH THAT IS FUCKED.

-Busting out a pun to downplay the tremendous loss of a human life, that is sick.

-"Shut up and go, Igarashi. You've got people to save."

-Rooftop time.

-Tamaki really is like a dog, isn't he? His loyalty really is unshakable, even if Aguilera dismisses him.

-Wow, Aguilera really told her to "git gud".

-"You want a job opening?"

-"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, she mad!"

-Ohhhhh, Lovekov sounds dejected.

-De-demonize her!

-Ohhh, she do the ponytail thing!

-I can't imagine how many innocent Fenix soldiers must've died because of Akaishi's plotting.

-Mmmmm, shoot 'em up, Dai-chan! It'll be great practice for the director!

-Daaaaaaamn, Aguilera's really kicking ass.

-Lovekov's rage boils over!

-:O

-SAKURA, HOMEGIRL-

-SHE SHIELDED AGUILERA HOLY FUCK

-NEXT EPISODE FUCK

-VAIL REAL

-HOLY FUCK ARE HIS COLORS SCARY

-They seem so removed from Junpei's Rider form too!

-YESSSSSS THE GIRLS ARE DOIN IT

-Heated drama between women.

-THAT'S A LOVEKOV SCYTHE

-SAKURA-CHAN I LOVE YOU WHAAAAAT

-Gay??????????

-GAYYYY

-Fuck, what am I gonna do for seven days now!?

-Ok, I read that the new Hashibirokou Genome is based on a shoebill... and Hibiki, of all Riders. Shoebills are absolutely horrific birds, but Hibiki seems a bit ill-fitting for a scythe. ...it kinda looks like the Armed Saber if I squint a bit, but this seems kinda... no, very random. Hibiki representation, even if in weird, limited capacity is nice though, I won't knock it.

-If Aguilera dies, I riot. ...I know that's not gonna happen though, so I guess I'll just have to wait.

[ziracona]

Hi! I just realised I havn't popped in in awhile. Do you have any headcanons u feel like sharing about the newer survivors?? (I love them all, they're so cool but I think imma have to say cheryl is my bby gurl. she's tired. let her rest.) also. i am. going insane. from a toothache :) - Sleepy

Hey! Hope your tooth pain clears up! I’m so sorry—that’s one of the worst. : /

Hmmm, I do, but I’m trying to think of ones I haven’t said in asks before. 😬 Unfortunately my memory of fictional characters is great, and my memory of what I said in asks is shitty. :’-]

I don’t know the newer survivors—except Nancy and Steve—as well as I do the older ones, because I’ve never written them, and I haven’t played Silent Hill. I like Zarina, Yui, and Cheryl a lot though. Poor fkn Cheryl can join Quentin in the “Please God, just one good day?” Existence. Rip to them both. 😭

Poor kid gets out of hell once, and ya throw her back in. :’-]

Let’s see—headcanon I am fairly sure I haven’t already shared. I think Yui and Min would get along really well, and Jane and Zarina would too.

Yui hates the serial killers especially, from her own personal experience, and goes to bat hard against them every time.

Ash flirts with everyone to a point it’s even more than Ace does, and for a while it becomes a competition between them to see who can flirt more and better than the other (not in a shitty way—everybody knows they have the competition going on and it’s more a ‘I can act better than you’ than a ‘I can win more hearts�� one.) Ace is declared the winner in class, Ash the winner in sheer quantity he’s able to churn out, and they agree to call it a semi-draw. It’s actually a really fun week for everyone, because they’re all constantly being complemented and flirted with in a way they know is performative and seeks 0 real actions from them in return, so essentially they are just showererd with ‘drunk girl in a bar bathroom’ levels of praise for seven days.

Felix and Nancy are the only two with significant others waiting back home, and they bond over talking about their wife/boyfriend and sharing stories and having someone around who understands that specific brand of pain and can encourage them that they’ll make it back home.

Tapp is a dad, so he gives Felix a lot of advice on stuff since he was an expecting father. Not so much “do this” advice, since his relationship with his family didn’t go so well, and he feels like he’s in absolutely no position to teach—more like “It’s okay. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. She’s gonna make it just fine even if you’re not home yet, and you’ll get back to them. And I’m gonna teach you some of the tricks so you’ll be ready when you do. You can even surprise her by already knowing how to change a diaper and warm a formula bottle. I’ll show you how to do it,” and talking him through some of the stuff he would have been able to learn from infant care books. It’s sweet, but Tapp almost dies when Jane says its “Very heartwarming” and teases him, so they cut him some slack. Felix is really appreciative. Laurie has taken care of a ton of kids, and gives him some advice too, and so does Nancy, who had two younger siblings.

Steve is a disaster who suffers from “I like you and you are a girl, so *pigeon meme* Is this falling in love?” syndrome. Gets shot down hard by Laurie, who is ridiculously pissed at him for bringing it up during a trial when their lives are on the line, but after he gets over being super awkward around her, and she reaches out to be like, ‘Look, dumbass, why did you even like me?’ And he’s like ‘...because you’re, uh, really cool? A-and pretty? And...’ and eventually she’s like ‘Buddy, you don’t even really know me. You’re just lonely. You’re not in love with me, you just want to be, because you want to be in love with somebody, and that’s not gonna cut it, for me, or anyone. Be in love with a person—not with the concept of being in love. And for that to happen, you have to know them first.” And since Steve is good af self-improvement, he realizes she’s got a real point, and tries to find his worth outside of needing a girlfriend, and becomes both a lot happier, and one of Laurie’s closer friends. (Side note—this extends probably only to my initial Steve ideas. I had the idea batted around that in that universe, Stranger Things /is/ an existing show, but it’s based on a mix of urban legend and history from the 80s, and Nancy and Steve are the version from the actual 80s, and I think in that pitch Steve is dating Barb, who is still alive, and already worked through this specific issue, because many things happened differently for wild comedic ‘But in the show’ effect, becuase both them repeatedly going “WELL REALITY WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT” when like, monster hunting shit from the show won’t work on the Demogorgan, and *Spit take* “THEY HAD ME HIT ON ROBIN?” “Ewwww” “YEAH ewww! She’s basically my lesbian little sister! We’ve been best friends since grade school! What the fuck :’-]” make for amazing joke potential. )

Cheryl starts having nightmares where she sees things from the Entity’s eyes she was never meant to see, and finding out dangerous amounts of information this way. The Entity decides at some point this is too big a threat, but because it’s proud, it doesn’t want to just kill her, as that would be admitting a human is a threat, so it starts having killers gun for her mercilessly to try to get her to give up, and the poor girl is in agony.

Zarina documents stuff form the realm constantly, and has a careful scrapbook collection of all notes and paraphernalia from past survivors. She also keeps conspiracy pages tacked together trying to figure out who they were becuase they deserve at least the justice of people somehow knowing how they died and what they went through. Laurie is a big help with this, and so is Claudette, who has been keeping stuff for a long time.

Yui is very no-nonsense, and protective. She gives off strong big sister vibes. She especially also loves board games/puzzles/other games like Shogi or Go and such, and Dwight and Adam create game pieces for her to play Go with when she mentions how much she used to like that kind of thing, and Yui is incredibly touched, and makes several other ones for people to play with too, and it becomes a very enjoyed pastime between trials. It’s engaging and competitive, but much more relaxed and low energy than sports or training or going for a run, so it’s a great alternative. Meg gets super into making puzzles, and all the artists do too, and take turns painting pictures on boards, cutting them into puzzle pieces with extreme painstakingly slow care, and then doing puzzles together. Jake is invaluable in the actual cutting pieces out area, but actually enjoys to do it.

Felix knows a lot more than anyone else about the Entity when he’s taken, so he spends a bunch of time with the research team trying to recall whatever he can from his childhood and sharing any information he has, then just stays on it because he wants to. He’s desperate to meet Benedict Baker someday himself, becuase that man seems to get around, and he really wants to know what happend to his father.

Everyone becomes protective as fuck of Cheryl when the Entity starts targeting her, and someone—I think Kate and or Meg—probably both together—as a one-off joke call themselves her knights at some point, becuase they’re running such dedicated protection detail, but it becomes a whole thing, and several more start to do it. They’ll like ‘fist clasped arm across chest at attention, quick bow’ when they see her, and it’s goofy as fuck, but it helps a lot making Cheryl’s reality more bearable. Plus, it’s really sweet. Nea gets in on this and comes back one day with a little daisy chain she made cause she was bored, sees Cheryl, it clicks, runs over and offers it as a ‘favor’. Zarina sees and comes back later that day from a trial and kneels and presents Cheryl with a rescued toolbox with a brand new part. This becomes increasingly common and extravagant, and Cheryl /cannot/ deal, but it’s like, genius, becuase it takes exactly this level of surreal goofy friend bullshit to distract from the hell she is living. She ends up just regularly having someone come back from a trial or trip to the woods, salute with an arm across their chest, bow, and present her with anything from a pinecone or pretty rock, to flowers or a medkit, to a salt statue or key, to a painting or hand made bracelet, to a makeshift weapon or a pillow. Everyone always tries to outdo each other, so the gifts tend to be extravagant. Zarina considers herself Cheryl’s righthand woman/personal knight by chocie, because she wanted a cause to fight for and has found one she truly loves, and she makes Cheryl her favorite gift so far, coming up to her at the end of a long day, after a very bad trial where Cheryl was mercilessly and slowly killed by the Pig, kneeling, and offering a thick shard of stained glass from the chapel, made sturdy and held in place with a few chunks of soldered and wrapped iron along the blade and down the grip, forming a razor sharp and reinforced stained glass knife.

[shannygoatgruff]

Grown & SeXY - Chapter 2

Header made by the talented @flowers-in-your-hayr​

For @youbloodymadgenius​​ for your 400 Followers Writing Challenge.  Congrats on your success!

Genre:  Romance/Comedy

Pairing:  Modern Ivar x Mature OC

Warning: Language/mild angst/Sexual content

Rating: M

Summary: A relationship between Generations X & Y will help this XX & XY learn a lot about themselves, each other, and love.  Cougar/cub relationships aren’t always just about a midlife crisis and arm candy.

A/N:  I got the concept for this story from a conversation I was having with @youbloodymadgenius​​.  I hope I do it justice.  This story is for you!

Chapter 2

Biiiiiitch!  Where have you been?  I’ve been IMing you but you been ducking me like I’m the IRS. Shit, I’m surprised we talking now - you mad at me or something?  Did somebody tell you that they heard some shit about you from me?  Because they were fucking lying. I wouldn’t do that. You know I don’t like all that gossip shit and I'm not one to put all people's business out on Front Street, like that.

So, girl, I need to holler at you about something right quick. What the hell is up with the non-disclosure agreement I sent you? Cause I damn sure didn’t get a signed copy back in my mailbox. Now, maybe I’m the slow bitch in the class, but it seems to me that there are a few more people in on our private meeting than just us, like we had previously discussed. 

Now, I’m not saying that you said something, but I know I sure as hell didn’t. So, if I was over here keeping my sexy ass mouth shut  (cause that how a bitch do) and you haven't said shit either, then who the fuck else is talking? You know, I bet it was probably those same bitches that were running around saying that they heard that I was talking shit about you. I tell you, people today ain't about shit. Well, fuck them.

Just so you know, I didn't call you to try to check you or anything. I called to try to catch you up on this grown and sexy shit cause bitch you are hella behind. Okay...I told you about how Marisol was at the club and met this fine ass little young boy at the bar, who turned out to be her high school BFF’s little brother, right? Did I tell you about how Marisol’s son and King Ding-A-Ling hate each other or how they met up at a party at his daddy’s house? Shit bitch, what do you know? I feel like I’m starting this shit all over at the beginning, again! Seriously hooker, keep up because before I can get into this shit, I have to set the scene. 

So, you need all the dirt on Ivar’s family so moving forward you know what the fuck I’m talking about when I just start dropping shit on you like Pearl Harbor.  Believe me, hon-ty when I tell you, these motherfuckers got some Telenovela, Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal type shit with them. 

Alright now, let me start with his parents. You ever see a really attractive man and you figure, his daddy must have been cute when he was younger? Well, that’s Ivar’s daddy, Mr. Ragnar Lothbrok – or as I like to call him, Dick Daddy Yo.  

Now, child, Dick Daddy is fine as a motherfucker. And, I’m not talking regular run-of-the-mill attractive for a man in his late 50s – early 60s, who was probably knocking down everything back in the day, type of fine, either. No Queen - I’m talking, this motherfucker could get it TODAY, immediately, right now, if he asked for it. Shit, bitch, quiet as kept, he wouldn’t even have to ask. All he would have to do is set those baby blue eyes in my direction, and I would hand him the drawers.

So, back in the day, when they still lived in Norway, Dick Daddy married this total dime piece named Lagertha. When I tell you she was a bad bitch, I mean she was a Bad Bitch!  Shit, she still bad to this day thirty-some years later.  She was built, blond and beautiful, plus that bitch could box. I don’t know what kind of thug shit they taught her over there in the old country where they came from, but this broad was like Ronda Rousey out there in those Kattegat streets.  

Anyhoo, when Lagertha and Ragnar got married, she found out that Ragnar had that Super D and she knew she wasn't going to be able to keep all that good dick to herself because he liked to sling it all over town. So she told him to go do his dirt, but he better brings his fine ass home to her every night. Of course, he was all like, cool, he could have a dime piece at home and get cutty on the side…alright, bet!  

Well, honey, next thing you know, he gets hooked up with this fatal attraction type, funny looking broad named, Aslaug. Girl, Aslaug gets dickmatized and follows Ragnar around like a puppy, and the next thing you know he had to figure out how to bring a whole ass side-chick home to his dime piece wife. He must of came back with some shit like, “Baby, you know that girl Aslaug can cook and she’ll do that thing that you don’t like to do…you know cause she a freak…so really, it’s a win-win for us both.”  

So, I figure dude’s dick must have been dipped in platinum, because Lagertha was like, “Whatever, Dick Daddy,” cause the next thing you know all three of them are living together and these two bitches were sister-wives.  

Chile! But, here’s where the shit gets juicy!  Ooh, girl! The whole time Ragnar was out there in them streets, Lagertha’s sexy ass was knocking over his brother, Rollo, and word around the campfire is, one of them kids ain’t really Ragnar’s…biiiiiitttttttch! I can't make this shit up!

So anyway, by the time all those damn babies came all 50/11 of them moved here to that big blue house at the end of Greenwich, you know the one with the big ass fence front and the nice pool? The one that the young people always have all the parties at...yeah, that one well, that’s where they still live.  

Now onto the kids. Honey, Ragnar has five maybe six kids that he’s claiming. I'm sure it's more out there, but I'm telling you about the ones I know about. First, you got the two he has with Lagertha; that’s Bjorn, and Gyda (that’s if don’t think Bjorn is Rollo’s son).  But what the hell, I’ll take “Let’s Pretend That Bjorn Is Ragnar’s Kid” for $200, Alex…  

So, Bjorn is the oldest of all of the kids. And what can I say about BJ?  BJ is fucking…girl, he’s just fucking. He’s fucking any and everything. That man. Jesus jumped up.  He’s about 6’3”, 250lbs, muscular, blond, these piercing blue eyes. This smile…strong jawline. He has these hands, right? These hands that you know could just grip you right up under your ass cheeks and hold you up against a wall, and these arms…gurl, make me want to faint like a white woman! Hmm.  

BJ reminds me of Ragnar. Hell, all those kids remind me of him in some way, but Bjorn oozes sex like Ragnar. I don’t know what it is, but watch your uterus around him. If you stand too close to BJ, your pussy is liable to jump in his back pocket and you won’t even notice that it’s gone.  

BJ has a shit-ton of kids though and has been married like 150 times. I don’t know what it is, but he finds these blonde women, fucks them, marries them, has 20 babies with, and then gets divorced. He’s a shitty husband, but I bet you he’s a fire ass lay. 

Then there’s Gyda, we call her Da-Da. She’s just beautiful. Whew. She got those looks from both of her parents.  It is honestly painful to look at her. She’s the charming side of Ragnar. The side that’ll have you naked and buying her ass a house and a car before the waiter finishes taking your order on the first date.  It’s a good thing she’s a nice person because if she was an evil bitch, there’s no telling what she would be up to. She’s another tall one, with blonde hair and blue eyes. But, she’s built like her mother. This bitch looks like she needs to be holding a fundraiser where she’s wearing clear heels, in a strip club, called Twerking For Jesus or some shit.

Now, if those two gorgeous kids weren’t enough to make everyone else in the world jealous of how good the D and the seed were from Ragnar, he had to go and spread it around some more with that weird bitch, Aslaug. They have four boys; Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd, and Ivar. I don’t know how those boys ended up being so fine because Aslaug’s ass is not what I would call attractive. But, they got Ragnar’s genes and miracles never cease to amaze me.  

All, but one, of them can get it any day.    

Let’s start with Ubbe. It’s a long story, I don’t remember the particulars, but he’s known around the way as, Weebae. I can’t remember if it’s because he was small when as a baby, or because he used to cry all the damn time.  But, whatever the case, if you hear a motherfucker asking for Weebae, they talking about Ubbe. Anyway, Wee is Ragnar’s twin. That child looks like Ragnar just spit him out on the street, only I don’t know where in the fuck he got his personality, cause Ragnar ain’t that fucking nice and Aslaug is a fucking cunt.  

Have you ever met somebody that’s so damn nice, that they seem like a bitch ass?  Like they are just softer than a motherfucker? Somebody that constantly lets people run over the top of him all the damn time and you just want to be like, yo you’s a giant whore! Well, that’s Wee. If he wasn’t so damn sexy, I would be like you soft, brah…get your punk ass away from me. But seeing as how fine he is, I’m like…bring your sensitive ass over here and let me make it all better, with your sexy self. Cause, you know, Mama loves the sensitive ones.

Who’s next? Oh, yeah, the next one is Hvitserk. I know it’s a fucked up name, but no one calls him that. They call him Boobie. Why do you ask? Because Boobie loves titties. I swear that boy was trying to get everybody to breastfeed him since he was born. The bigger a woman's boobs, the more Boobie is into her. But he's such a freaking cutie pie! He doesn’t look like Ragnar to me, but he reminds me of him in that way where as long as he can fuck and eat, he doesn’t give a fuck about much else. He’s the type that never has the same job or girlfriend for too long. He just goes with the flow and stays around until he gets bored.  

Now Boobie favors Ragnar but not as much as some of the other kids.  He’s got this cute baby face, with this sandy blonde hair and these pretty green eyes, like Aslaug.  When you see him, you just want to pinch his cheeks on his face and his ass.  And because he seems like such a little lost puppy, you just want to take him home, and take care of him…maybe tie him up to your bed and ride his ass like he’s Budweiser Clysdale in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, too.     

Then there’s Sigurd…oh, Siggy. I call him, Brother Useless. He got all of Aslaug’s genes. It must be hard to look like Sigurd when you are born into that family. To be below average looking when you have extraordinarily attractive siblings, how does one go one with life?  By being a giant dick, that’s how.  Siggy fucking sucks donkey balls. He irks my fucking life. Siggy and I have history, outside of this little tale, and believe me he’s a dick in those stories, too.  

Anyway, he looks just like his mama with facial hair.  It’s really quite unfortunate. He reminds me of one of those Muppets off of the Dark Crystal. When I first found out that he was one of Ragnar’s sons, my first response was, I know you fucking lying! They should have just thrown the whole damn child away. See, Ragnar, that’s what happens when you go slumming with a funny looking chick…you get a funny looking kid with a fucked up personality.  God don't like ugly...

But He redeemed your good name with Lil' Man. Oh, my sweet Ivar.  This boy looks nothing like either of his parents but is the total embodiment of his father. Ivar is sexy. No, let me rephrase that for the bitches in the back...I said, IVAR IS SEXY. Bitch, I don’t know if there is even a word to describe the level of attractiveness this little bastard has. I don’t know if it’s that life-altering smile, or the dark hair and pale blue eyes. Shit, it could be that intense stare he has or those arms…or it could be that chest or maybe it’s that ass that you just want to bite and those lips that make you just want to sit on his face. Whatever it is about him, that boy makes you tingle in the most unladylike of places.  

Now, when Ivar was born, something was wrong with him and he needed an operation. He was fine afterward, but Aslaug’s dramatical ass was acting like he was on his damn death bed and treated him like he was Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable. So, naturally, he grew up spoiled as shit. So now, this child don’t know how to do shit. He thinks everybody supposed to hand him everything, just because he’s cute.  

Honey, short of my number and panties, he gonna have to work for everything else like everybody else.  But see, you can’t tell fine, muscular, spoiled ass, motherfuckers, with beautiful eyes, killer smiles, nice hair, and that smell good all the fucking time that they’re not special. Oh, no, because they will try to prove you wrong. At least he finished college and doesn’t have any kids. But if his ass would get a job…Sorry, I’m skipping ahead.  

Okay, so you have the background on the family.  Now check out how this shit went down...

Being in the Lothbrok house brought back a ton of memories for Soli. She had spent a good part of her adolescence there with her best friend, Gyda.  The two of them had countless sleepovers, movie marathons, and of course their love of all the teenage heartthrobs of the 80s and 90s. Teen Bop, Tiger Beat, and 17 Magazines fed their obsessions for Kirk Cameron, Corey Haim, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, and Mario Lopez. I was always a Joey Lawerence girl myself, but that’s neither here nor there.

That was until that one time the two of them got into this huge fight over who was going to marry Justin Timberlake. But then Bjorn told them that he thought Ryan Philippe was the same person and the girls realized that they did look a lot alike. So, Soli took JT and Gyda took Ryan, and they all lived happily ever after.  

As she accepted the glass of champagne from the tray, Soli looked around the hallway leading out to the patio. It was amazing how different the house looked now. Since the remodel nothing was where she had remembered. The living room used to be to the left of the hallway, and there had been a large formal dining room to the right. They also used to have a huge kitchen right behind the dining room and then the family room sat just behind there, with the entrance to the back yard. It was always a good-sized house, but the way it was cut up, with these weird doorways and walls in the most awkward of places, it always felt cramped, especially with so many people living there.  

But this? The open concept floor plan, no walls to obstruct the view...spacious, huge windows, lots of sunlight...it was gorgeous! Lothbrok Designs, LLC did one hell of a job. Everything from the floor plan to the decor was beautiful. Maybe Soli could get them to hook her up discount and do some work around her house.

“Hey there! I thought I saw you,” Gyda smiled walking over to Marisol with her arms out. “Oh Sonni, you look so good! I still can’t get over how you haven’t aged a bit. And girl, that body!”  

Soli spun around in a circle to give her friend the full view. Even she had to admit, the off the shoulder, floral printed, Boho, maxi-dress looked damn good on her. Especially the way the soft pink color played with the beautiful warm tones in her toffee-colored skin. And honey, she was rocking this split that came all the up the front of the dress to the bodice, that would have been showing all of the church's business if it wasn't for that little white chiffon underdress thing. Honey...forty where? She was a banger and she knew it. “Well, you know forty is new twenty. I didn’t get to do my twenties right because I had Mani, but now I'm single and I'm ready to mingle! And you, Diva…”

“Well, thanks. You know...I get it from my Mama." Gyda did a little shimmy and laughed. "Thank you so much for coming. It’s so good to have you back in town. I know my parents are excited to see you again.” She looked around the room and waved at a guest who was walking by, “Everyone was excited that you said you were coming.”  

Everyone? Why did Gyda say it like that? Soli was excited to catch up with the family, too, but damn. Soli knew that little cutie Ivar was going to be there, but that was nothing. A little innocent eye flirting at the bar a couple of weeks ago didn't mean anything. She hadn't seen or thought of that boy since. And she wasn't thinking about him today...well, not that much, anyway.

“Da-Da,” A gorgeous older blond man came up to Gyda and placed a soft kiss on the side of her head, before turning his attention to Soli. “No, you can’t be…Marisol Peña? The young lady I saw as much as my daughter growing up?” Ragnar walked over to Soli and wrapped her in a warm hug.

Soli chuckled and shook her head when she felt his hands linger at her waist a second longer than they should have. “Oh, Mr. Lothbrok,” Soli she patted him lightly on the chest taking a half step back to take in that beautiful smile, “Oh, it’s been too long. You still look good.” She smiled, feeling his hands slowly move down her side to now rest on her hips.

“And you still are as beautiful as ever,” he said leaning in toward her to talk to her. He had always had this strange way articulating certain words and sometimes he would get uncomfortably close when he would talk to people. Gyda used to get embarrassed because her father would get all up on her friends when he spoke to them, but Marisol always thought it was kind of sexy the way he would breathe on her when he talked.  

She felt herself being hypnotized momentarily by all that sexy, but she quickly regained her senses. “Mr. Lothbrok,” she tutted keeping a careful eye on him as he slowly walked around her in a circle with a sly grin on his face, “I see you're still as smooth as ever.” 

It was fluid the way Ragnar brushed his face next to Soli’s ear to whisper in his sexy accent, making the tendrils of hair tickle her neck, “Ragnar.”  

"Ragnar," she giggled. He was still a DILF, even after all these years.

“Ragnar?”  A feminine voice called causing everyone to turn toward a tall strawberry-blonde in flowing green empire dress standing at the patio door, “Come, lunch is ready and we will have cake.” For as tall and thin as she was the dress did nothing for her. A hottie like Lagertha could have pulled it off, but not her. Although, the navy blue and dark green embroidery did accentuate the red in her hair and her green eyes.    

Soli’s eyes widened as she turned to Gyda, devastated. “Is that Aslaug?” she whispered.  As they all began walking through the house toward the backyard she found herself laughing at the expression on Gyda's face. “Bitch, shut up.” Oh, they had so much to catch up on. 

Judging by how good Aslaug looked, she had had some work done. She was still funny looking, but she looked a whole hell of a lot better than she did when Soli knew her.  

Time seemed to fly by for Soli as she sat in backyard eating, laughing, and drinking with her childhood friend. She had forgotten how much she missed Gyda. But being with her and the family, it felt like they never missed a beat.  She even sat at the table reserved for Ragnar's kids and had no problem catching up with each one of them. Oh, the gossip she found out about sitting there.

For example, Weebae was married to BJ's ex-wife, Torvi, who left BJ with four children and is now having a baby with Bae. And you know the crazy thing is all of them are still talking like nothing ever happened? Or how about this, apparently something happened between Siggy and Ivar - no one is talking about what it is yet, but the two of them don't talk. They can be sitting at the same table and won't utter two words to each other. And did you know that none of the brothers knew why Soli and Gyda fell out all those years ago? I know, but that ain’t my place to say, so done tucked that one way down deep in my bra, honey. All I know is I could write a whole other story about this damn family’s shenanigans alone!  

“Man, I wish I could remember that!” Siggy laughed throwing his napkin on his plate.  “I would have loved to see the look on Bae’s face!” He gently nudged his brother’s arm as he continued to make fun of him.  

Ubbe shook his head and lowered his eyes as the stain of blush colored his cheeks, “I can’t believe that was you,” he said to Soli, “I remember running through the house naked, but I never remembered why.”  

Soli smiled around her glass of wine, trying her best to ignore the incredibly attractive younger man sitting next to her. "I remember why. I remember that little birthmark on your ass, too."

Gyda laughed putting the last of her spoonful of cake in her mouth. “Oooh, Beege, do you remember that time we were playing Van Damme and you ended up in the emergency room?” 

Bjorn rolled his eyes and tried to cover his brow with his hand, “Of course I remember!  How could I forget?” He started rubbing his inner thigh at the memory.  He looked around the table at all of his brothers’ faces who were rapted with excitement, smiles already plastered on their faces, dying to hear the story.  “So, I might have been about 13, Da-Da and Soli might have been around 11 or so. Anyway, we used to always watch Daddy's Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. I was obsessed - he was a total bad-ass to me. We had no business watching them because they were rated R and too violent for us to be watching, but we didn't care. And after the movies, we always would play Van Damme and act out our own scenes but do all the karate moves we just saw.”

“But, he always thought he automatically got to be Van Damme because he was a boy, and he always tried to make me the stupid female sidekick. I wanted to be the badass female Van Damme, ya know?" Soli said rolling her eyes.

“Wait, where was Da-Da?”  Ubbe asked.

“I always wanted to be the bad guy,” Gyda shrugged, “What? It was fun.”  

"Yeah, we used to whip her ass, "Soli laughed, “So, this one day BJ and I got in this big argument about who should get to be Van Damme in our reenactment. Of course, he thought he should be because he’s a boy, and I said that I should be because I could do the split. You remember the splits he used to do, right?” She looked around the table and watched everyone nod.

That is, all except one, “No…he’s the guy with that show on HULU now, right?” Ivar asked, turning in his chair so that his outstretch leg brushed Soli’s shin under the table. “He used to do action movies?”

Rolling her eyes at the absurdity of the question, Soli reached into her small clutch bag and pulled out her phone. “I keep forgetting you’re a child. Of course, you don’t know anything about Jean-Claude Van Damme.  When were you born, like 6 months ago?” She quickly found a picture of the Van Damme split online and handed her phone to Ivar. 

“So, in the movie Double Impact, he did the split when he had his legs on these chairs and his pelvis was suspended between them…I knew I could do it. I had been taking gymnastics since I was six. But BJ, thought because he was a boy he was naturally superior.”

“Oh God, Beege…what happened?” Hvitserk asked popping open another beer.

“The chairs moved, man.” Bjorn said sadly, “Daddy had to take me to the hospital.  My nuts twisted; sprained my dick.” He tried to hold back his laugh but listening to how funny his brothers found his childhood misfortune made Bjorn laugh, too. “Never played Van Damme again.”

“And you never bet against me again, that’s for sure.” Soli felt Ivar’s hand brush against the side of hers and when she turned to face him he was handing back her phone. She noticed that when he leaned over toward her that the first two buttons of his classic white button-down shirt were undone, exposing his thick neck, and collarbone to her. Would it be rude if she tried to get a peek down his shirt? She didn't think so. What was rude was him smelling like a clean ocean breeze or wearing that damn white shirt against his tanned skin. 

Ivar put the phone in her open palm and closed his hand around hers. The hint of a smile started with one corner of his mouth and as his tongue darted out of his mouth and started worrying the bottom corner of the lip. 

“So, um…you can do that split, huh?” There it was. That come sit on my face smile. She had to watch out for this little bastard.

“Yep and  I can do it on a handstand,” she whispered back, and winked at him, pursing her lips to keep herself from smiling. God, this kid was so damn cute, but she shouldn't be flirting with him, even if it was who she was by nature. He was too young. It was too wrong. He was too sexy. She hadn’t had sex in a very long time.  This was tricky. She knew the family.  He had muscles. “Close your mouth there, Baby Ivey.” She patted his shoulder feeling the striations under her fingertips. That was another thing, she had to stop touching him!

“Hey Mom,” Soli’s son, Mani walked over to the table she was sitting at wearing a nice pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. She had made him promise to drop by for a minute, just to say hi to some of her childhood friends before he went to a party of his own. The things he did for that woman.  

“There’s my Baby Boy!” Soli said, standing up. “Mani, I want you to meet my second family when I was growing up. This was my best friend, Gyda, and her brothers Bjorn, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd, and Ivar.” She gestured her hand to each person as she said their names. “Everyone, this is my son, Miguel.”  

Ivar smiled and stood up, offering his hand to shake, “I remember you from school. Cartoon Boy, right?”

Mani’s posture stiffened and his warm brown eyes hardened almost instantly, “I don’t remember Jock Strap.” Mani had hated Ivar since they were in high school. Even as a teenager he thought Ivar Raganarsson was a dick. He was an entitled asshole who thought the world owed him something. He had walked around that school like he was the shit and because Mani was younger, smaller and didn’t play sports, Ivar just fucking sucked toward him. He never bullied him, but he always acted like Mani was beneath him.  

Well, fuck Ivar and his big ass beaver teeth smile…got on his fucking nerves. Mani turned his attention to the rest of the table. “It was nice to meet all of you, but I have another engagement. I just stopped by to drop something off to my mom.” 

“Excuse me,” Soli said getting up from the table. She was ready to punch Mani in the throat. She had specifically told him that when he came to the house not to say anything insulting to Ivar. And if she had to listen to one more minute of how much Mani hated Ivar she was going to scream. Since she told him about that first time seeing him at the bar all she had heard was how much of an asshole Ivar had been in high school and how he stole the lead in the school play Mani’s sophomore year. Did she care? Not at all. Mani was 22 years old now and he was still holding a grudge about something that happened when he was 15.  

She walked back into the house with her son following him to the front door. The fake she was forcing was hurting her face. “What the fuck was that, Mani?”

“You see him with that Fuck Boy Ricky hairstyle? I swear Mom, he’s a total Dickbag.” Mani rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “And you're friends with his people? That's a whole new level of douchery, even for you, Mom.”  

“Oh my, God…I’m not. Not right now.” She got on her tiptoes to kiss her son on the cheek. “Have fun tonight. I love you.”

“I’m telling you, watch that fucktard.”

"Get out," Soli pushed her son out of the door and sighed. This was reason number 4,037 why she never dated. Mani hated and had something to say about everyone. Not saying that she wanted to date Ivar or anything, but just saying that Mani had a problem with every male that she was even friendly with. It was hopeless. Her ex-husband was going to be the last man she’d ever have sex with.  Oh, the humanity of it all...

Soli walked back to the family table with a fresh glass of wine and sat back with a smile as she watched the siblings pose for their family photos.  The pictures were going to be gorgeous - they were a beautiful family. There were so many photos being taken, too. There were poses of Ragnar, both his wives, all of his children, and grandchildren. Even the photos of the divisions of the families were beautiful. But the most captivating thing to Soli was that Ivar was the photographer.  

He was so patient and genuinely seemed to be having a good time doing it.  He was a natural. He laughed as he directed his family and smiled a huge, smile with every picture he took. He was engaging and extremely creative. Looking at him, she would have never have guessed he had an artistic side to him. When Soli realized that she had a full-blown smile on her face watching Ivar and not the family she shook her head and grabbed her phone for a distraction. 

Taking a sip of wine, she checked her text messages and almost choked. There as only one missed message and it was from a number that she didn't recognize. He must have called himself on her phone to get her number. 

She couldn't stop the big ass smile from spreading across her face as she read:

‘Splits and handstands?  I💓 gymnastics! ~ Baby Ivey’

So, girl, that’s what happened with that. Don’t worry, we are about to get into the good shit, I promise. I'm telling this story honey and bitch I'm building suspense.  

I'll talk to you later girl. And next time, I ping you, answer your girl. Don’t be screening me like I’m that dude at the club that you trying to get rid of.  

Chapter 1

Tags:  @youbloodymadgenius​​ @idea-garden @kol--mikaelson​​ @mooniemouse​​ @didiintheblog​​ @waiting4inspiration​​ @tempt-ress​ @where-beauty-goes-to-die @crazyaboutmotleycrue​​ @oddsnendsfanfics​​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @ivarthebloodyking​​ @honestsycrets​​   @xbellaxcarolinax​​  @zuxiezendler​​ @inforapound​​​  @a-mess-of-fandoms​​

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and melting Walls (5/8) “Territorial Revenge”

Summary: Nobody responded within a week and so Remy made sure to inform Emile so they could repaint the office. Virgil does not like being alone for long, especially when it is unexpected.

Luckily, the two are quick to make up.

 Tags: animal waster, cat litter box, urine, descriptions of urine smell, cleaning, a bit of fighting bc this is an upset kitty, food and eating mention, feeding, late nights, metal clanking sound, vaccine mention, vet mention, slight restrictions of breathing? Pining mention, auditory triggers, migraine mention, somft feelings, more snuggles and cuddles, kitty gone bad boi,

i do not think there is any more to be applied. If you need me to add anything, please contact me here or on my tumblr (spacegayparty, spacegaywritings)

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 // all.

tumblr:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 (you are here!) / 6 / 7 / 8.

 Story under the cut: (Wordcount ~3,1k)

Metal clattered together as the key within the lock pressed deeper into it and started turning in order to open the door at last. The light sound filled the cool air. Eventually, the metal keys fell against the dark colour, wooden door and with a particularly loud ‘knack’ of the door, the lock gave way and the way was free.

Remy finally stepped into his home.

It was dark already but that did not stop him from wanting to go home, it encouraged him even further. He was the kind of person to change the night but with Virgil waiting for him, there was an intense urge to just be with the little pet. The darkness outside his apartment was driving him to be faster when the hours passed and passed.

 He had cleaned everything with Emile, right after fucking painting it all and reorganising two fucking offices. It was work. It was a lot of work but it was paid extra work on top of that, yet Remy was not exactly a fan of it. The man liked doing his thing, being left alone a bit but also having some non-annoying or intrusive/persistent social interaction. But.. working with Emile all day was as lovely as it could be exhaustive.

That pal did not gossip enough! Remy wanted to talk about chill things, not how he hated or did not hate his parents and whatnot.

 Sometimes he wondered whether people moved away and went to other therapists so they would be safe from all their dreadful puns. Maybe it helped in therapy? He did not know but it made him feel fluttered and warm all the same. Still, it would get him to feel nauseous after some time. Maybe Emile played into his auditory triggers - too many words in too little time.

 Remy stepped into his home and closed the door.

The sound of shutting it echoed through the vast emptiness in his apartment. Actually, there was so much nothing, it really filled the complete living space.

 Strange..

 All he could notice was a certain smell.. a pungent, intense smell. It was odd and he could not quite place it.

It sort of reminded him of...

 Oh no.

 He carefully switched on the light.

Whenever he used his lights, he could not help but be glad about having found proper lamps that did not cause too much eye strain at once. People who developed and invented ideas for dim light bulbs and lamps that were made to be comfortable rather than stinging in illumination were simply saints and he would never back away from this opinion. Those were fucking heroes because they helped the dumb minorities like him that was too Extra (tm) to live with regular things.

 When the dim lights, he loved so much, showered the hallway in golden warmth, he noticed.. a weird bit of something on the floor.

 Please please no.

 “Virgil?”

 He called into the void, for the void.

Nothing came back.

 Was the cat okay?

 Remy carefully made his way over to the weird something on the floor. It looked like spilled liquid, somewhat translucent and odd.

Did... Did Virgil vomit or pee onto the floor? Holy fuck, it smelled awful in the most indescribable ways. He did not want to describe it anyway, let alone sniff it enough to figure out certain components of the smell or any similarities to other scents.

 ...Oh dear fuck.

The smell - It was cat pee. Virgil had decided to fucking ruin his floor right in front of the little cat toilet he had put up.

 Well... that was it, he supposed. It had been a dream that Remy did not really have to “potty train” the kitten since it came with a lot of good manners already. That was so much of an indicator that the cat was from somewhere, that they were civilised and socialised.

Still, after weeks of no answers, Remy had cut the search and was happy to call the cat his own (albeit he never said so but the smiles on his face were more frequent than before and even his migraines seemed more at ease - not to mention how rare they had become).

 But it was too nice to have a cat - a first pet - that just was clean and trained and would use the litter box accordingly.

 “I swear, you are going to kill me, Queen. I just cleaned it in the morning. It cannot be that bad, can it?”

 He already moved to open a few windows and make sure the horrible smell would yield to the fresh air of the evening.

Maybe he should not have been outside for so long without sending anyone over to check on Virgil and catsit after all. Remy admitted he should look into some silly students who needed the money and would be happy about just cuddling a cat and being able to have some WIFI and such.

 But really, he had not planned to stay outside for that long. He had wanted to run over and check in on the dust ghost during his lunch break. Sadly, Emile did have that sort of amnesia effect on him. His horny brain went dumb and forgot all the important logic and memory. Therefore, he had been too stupid from love to really think about Virgil needing him at that moment.

Next time, he would discuss this with Emile beforehand. One mistake was alright as long as nobody was hurt and he learned from it.

 With black bags under his eyes and shades perched up on the top of his head, he grabbed a few tissues, gloves and a mop and got ready to clean up. Excitement as great as it could have been in such a situation, he got down to clean up and once done, he finished up over there and tended to the litter box.

 Nearly empty. There was like, the usual stuff but it was not much because he had cleaned it in the morning - on purpose!

 “Are you fucking kidding me? Virgil, why would you do this?”

 A deep groan of annoyance split his lips. He got up to remove the bit of waste that was still residing inside. It just took a few moment and it was already done. He disposed of the dirt properly and put his cleaning utensils into the dedicated space. 

A tinge of worry hit him as he did so. The cleanness was achieved at last but what about Vi- Just then, a streak of black crossed his view.

 “Virgil!”

 His tone was low, touching a bit into the territory of a parent. Specifically, when a goody two shoes did something wrong and the parents got all “I am not mad, just disappointed”.  

The kitten ducked away and whipped its tail down before slowly swishing it from side to side.

They almost looked ready to fight and as if Remy had provoked it, the void suddenly jumped at his black boot - yes, just one. This was one smol individual and they had yet to be tol enough to attack two Remy feet at once. Soft paws drummed onto the shoe and the ball of charcoal furry was hissing and scratching.

 “Hey! Ow-”, Remy hissed back in surprise and slight aggravation, “Virgil, what the fuck!”

 The cat jumped back and Remy quickly dropped his jacket, revealing a black sweat shirt he was wearing underneath.

 The angry cat hissed at the man and ducked and arched their back. Then, they went in for the fight, now aiming at his knees. A pair of claws jumped at him, so Remy committed himself to the idiocy of catching the cat and picking them up.

 Virgil did not get his knees but they did catch some skin of his arms.

 “What is wrong with you, gurl? Do you want to play? This is some shit way to tell me about it, queen. You pissed on my floor.”

 Virgil hissed again and Remy blinked in incomprehension. He should learn more about cats or something. Like, take a course in cat training because this whole behaviour was too sudden and confusing for him to make sense of it. These acts were so contrary to what they had done before to him. Even at the start of their relationship they had been somewhat loving towards once another.

 He did not want to admit it but.. the cat rejecting him kind of stung. Yeah, his attacked shoes were also a point of inconvenience he did not really approve of but they were manageable.

The cat was down on the ground again but definitely not down-to-earth. They were already spitting fireballs at the belated arrival and Remy was cursed with being puzzled forever since they could not communicate and explain what happened.

 Remy was unfortunate to think of Virgil as playfully fighting him. By instinct or whatever.

 “Hey Queen, if you wanna play, can you just give me a minute or two, so I can eat? I want to exist, too, and you need to eat as well.”

 He collected the food and water bowl and made sure to fill everything properly. Virgil had abandoned him again in favour of creepily staring at him from afar. The tail was swishing like a clock’s ticking arms. And they were counting his time until being brought to justice by Black Cat Law, aka The Void Law.

 The cat owner emerged from the kitchen, filled bowls filling his hands.

Dry food, just a bit - minimal amounts. Wet food - the main source of sustenance for the kitty cat. Water - because kitty cat got free bowls of water twice a day, thrice when at work with him.

Remy put it back into place and the kitten quickly returned to retrieve the food.

 “Yeah, now you are happy, are you not?”

 The cat very much ignored him so they could feast upon the bouts of food brought to them. Finally their slave human was working again and feeding them as he was supposed to.

Rude to just take an unannounced break.

 “Yeah, I should have expected you to be bitchy without food. You are just like me, are you not, little honey?”

 A chuckle could be heard as he took a little moment to relish in the sounds coming from the Void of Darkness and Fire (tm) purring and chewing. The noises were barely audible but Remy has started picking up the most silent ones. It helped him detect the kitten’s feelings or locations when he needed to tend to the cat. Also, it made finding the cat easier for when he wanted to give them a little goodbye-snuggle before going to work.

 The urge to cuddle the cat right now was strong but he made sure to not do it.

Cats hated that, as much as sources told him. Sources were the internet and people and also a book he had gotten by now. And the vet he had visited once more after he decided to keep the cat since nobody seemed to care enough. Also, vaccines.

Other than that, Virgil also scratched him once he tried to snuggle them while eating. This was only legal when Virgil was already snuggled up to him due to pure pity they felt for him. Such a Queen.

 “You are too good for anyone, kitty. I am sorry for leaving you alone for so long.”

 No answer - but the black blob of fur seemed to be at ease with the food and water. This was a start, he thought to himself. Remy still felt guilty for leaving them alone for so long. Then again, he had expected to have the time and get home for a little bit during his lunch break but that did not work out, somehow. And going after his official working hours was not okay.

 He should give someone his keys so they could look after the little Queen of Salt for a bit when he had to stay away longer.

What if an emergency ever came up?

 His head shook the thoughts of darkness and anxiety away. Instead, he busied his empty hands with the simple task of reheating some food he had made before. Tomorrow he would get some chicken for his kitten to make up for being so neglectful and thoughtless. He needed to be more considerate and accept his responsibilities. After all, he was some kind of caretaker right now - a cat parent, if you will.

 Remy leaned back and took a deep breath.

 “Virgiiiiil ~”, he cooed softly and took out a little kitty treat.

 Just one.

It was not just for his guilty conscience but also for the cat to know he did not mean to. Virgil needed assurance and the stability of life. Giving him some sort of praise for being alone all day - for literally at least 10 hours - was appropriate, he supposed.

 The kitten was already done with their bowl of food and was currently drinking when the smell of more food and the sound of Remy’s - their owner’s voice - reached them. They sensed being called over and looked up from their bowl, licking their muzzle and nose with a satisfied look on their face.

 “Kitty cat”, he purred again and the void gently let their tail swish just a bit above the floor for a few single strands of their fur to trace over the dark ground.

 They purred back in solidarity. Soft paws sunk into the similarly dark floor. The kitty took one step after the other and slowly progressed, body slightly lethargic from the recent intake of food. The ball of fur and mischief made their way over to Remy and sniffed the air.

A determination ruled their fine movements.

 Ah, yes. More food.

Good human.

Their eyes sparked at the man, radiating praise and appreciation.

 Remy smiled in return and carefully nudged his hand close enough for Virgil to nibble at the treat. Immediately, they welcome it into their mouth. Without realising it, the owner visibly relaxed, the air standing in his lungs was flowing out of his nostrils and allowed him to inhale deeply. His posture eased up and his shoulders were now more straightened and calm compared to before. St a few moments ago, the weight of guilt tore down his body and forced his back to be crooked along with pushing his shoulders into a hunching position.

No more guilt was crushing him anymore, though. The cat had accepted his apology and was carefully pushing their head into Remy’s idle palm. The feeling of warmth, a bit of dampness and furry delight was tickling the receptors in his hand. The warmth travelled up to his chest, spreading throughout all of his body in the process.

 “You are too good for me. Aw, Virgil. Little Queen of Salt”, he purred and gently shifted to lean over and started brushing over the smooth and slightly shining fur of his little companion.

 His left was holding the curious head of a peculiar kitty cat and he gently started scritching their chin - well, the underside of their chin. It was a bit lighter than the rest of their body. At least, this is what it seemed like to him. It felt warmer and more brownish, yet just as lovely as the rest of them.

 Peaceful purring filled the room with soft sounds and calming noise instead of haunting silence

 “I love you too”, he chuckled.

 Maybe he did not know everything about cats, nor did he understand all his little sass-bean was trying to express with their general body posture, the position of their torso or their tail either - really, he did not know much at all - but he was still trying his best. He certainly was getting better at it and this counted, did it not? Also, it was not like he did not try to educate himself. His workplace naps were replaced by reading in his “cat bible” and literally taking notes.

 Hands gently curled around the food-filled body of a satisfied little void. Cradling the coal cat in his arms, he held them close to his heart and walked over to their couch.

 “Does my little storm cloud want to cuddle?”

 His voice was a low coo and the kitten responded with audible purrs and an enthusiastic bonk when their heads crushed together again.

 Ow.

... He would totally never get used to cats showing affection like that. 

 Well, still worth it.

Apparently, cats did that to show love or some trash. Whatever, Virgil barely ever did it but it got more and more frequent after their first days together. Now it was more often instead of rarely but it certainly was not the most usual and common thing between them.

Still, it could change. At the moment he just wanted to relish in the warmth of their cuddles and the comfort of their intimacy.

 Remy flopped onto the couch and left the cat on his chest while he simply laid down flat onto his back like a lazy plank swimming in the water. Just floatin’... simply going with the flow, adapting to any wave.

 The cat returned the action by softly pushing their paws into his ribs. Lungs complained due to the compromised volume for more precious and essential oxygen. Not that Remy cared.. nor did Virgil have the cognitive ability to care.

 “You having fun there, kitty?”

 This cat was royalty and Remy would continue to lay around and simply have them run up and down his body. All he wanted to do was.... just take off his pants and such and put on a more comfortable and flexible pyjama. Falling asleep in tight jeans was not as great (they were great for getting some looks from his boss, though). The idea of moving around right now was just as unpleasant as the idea of falling asleep and waking up in the pants he had worked and sweated in all day.

 Unfazed by anything, the void was simply preparing their human bed for a little longer before settling down onto his ribcage...warm and pressing. Just a tad uncomfortable.

 “Okay, there you go-”

 Yes, this was love.

 Remy was too exhausted and comfortable to feel too bothered by his air flow being obstructed. Slowly, he felt himself drift off. The man was soon in a light version of a slumber and gradually become a victim to the sweet relief of a little nap. The discomfort of sweaty and smelly clothes was forgotten when exhaustion took over. The overwhelming state of being physically drained got the best of him.

All good sentiment was forgotten when the comfort of a good cat and a warm home hugged him.

 Bye bye meal he had wanted to have. He was already satisfied in other way.

He was home.

 This was heaven.

[cryptidandwren]

MY FETISHES ARE REAL AND SO CAN YOU

Let’s talk about porn, but really let’s talk about literary realism. Coming up with a practical definition of porn is famously difficult. Supreme Court lore holds that during the period in the Court’s history when a legal line between art and porn was sought, the Supreme Court would have viewing parties to read tea leaves to determine the difference between the two. Supreme Court Justice Brennan, who was going blind at this point in his life and had to have a clerk provide a play by play synopsis of the “films”, blurted out during one of these viewings “That’s it! I know it when I see it.”

After much time and ink the Supreme Court finally agreed that porn is art, but it’s not art that the First Amendment cares about as much. Porn is any art that highlights one emotional response at the expense of all others. Sexuality is of course a very complex topic and there is a lot of room for content under that umbrella, but porn in the conventional sense (big tiddies Anime gurl do sex stuff) does not make room for, let’s say, contemplation on the justifications, or lack thereof, for imperialism and colonization.  Once you’re trying to make porn, you have a goal that might conflict with more nuanced narrative goals. Complex real world problems that leave most people feeling uncomfortable and a little hollow just don’t mesh well with porn. I mean if it works for you it works for you, and no shame. Just count your blessings and go into history, sociology, or some similar field. Papa always used to say you never work a day in your life as long as you do what turns you on. Porn is about meeting indulgent desires whether sexual or not.

Literary realism is a movement that takes the artifices of fiction and analyzes them. Let’s look at MCU “Civil War”. The general rule in the genre is that heroes are heroic, and people see them as heroic even if there is damage. Realism asks the question, but what if people held the heroes personally responsible for losses? For example, the woman who lost her son holds Iron Man personally responsible in “Civil War”. Now aside from the lazy worldbuilding that this employs (because were the face eating alien invasion force not going to eat your kids face?) realism as it has been practiced and illustrated in this scene is fundamentally flawed. Most people do not create contrived and twisted world views to lay blame at the feet of someone else that was doing the right thing. Yes it happens, but the set up has to be more complex than MCU ever gives us. There isn’t a moral grey area to be explored when one of the sides is Space-Hitler-eat-your-face-lately and the other is Iron Man. Reality isn’t a constant parade of one horrible event after the other - and I see you 2020. You don’t have to raise your hand. Ill get to you next.

Realism can far too often fall into a trap where it becomes misery porn. There is a lot of misery in the real world. Genocide, plague, racists, sexists, a forever war, and twitter trolls as far as the eye can see, if that’s where you are looking. There are also acts of incredible kindness. People using social media to keep up with each other and lend an ear in troubling times. The many, many people sewing and making masks for health care works in light of governmental failure. And to be honest, the people that are willing to sacrifice and stay home. Where art focuses on one aspect to the exclusion of any other it has a tendency to become pornographic. That’s not a judgement on the substance. I rather like hope porn. The speeches of real-world President Obama and fictional President Bartlett are some good shit. Like me some hope.

Now let’s look at another show that uses literary realism well: Avatar. Superman and Aang both come from a people who have been entirely wiped out. Superman is by and large unaffected by it, because he is superman. He has incredible strength, including the strength to just not feel bad things. (I am choosing to ignore modern DC Superman, because its bad). Aang doesn’t. When the sand benders take Appa, the last thing that he has to connect him to his people, he’s ready to enter the Avatar state and go full Anakin on their sand people asses. That’s real. That’s a trauma response -right there- if I’ve ever seen one. Aang only calms down when Katara reminds him that even if his old family is dead, he still has a family that loves and cares for him, and that he is safe. That’s real. A deeply problematic trauma response by a male presenting figure being mitigated by the continued and tiring emotional labor of a female presenting figure. Even the “good” to balance the “bad” has nuance and complexity to it, but Katara’s actions don’t just come from gender roles. She genuinely does care for Aang and his wellbeing, and it hurts her to see Aang in the grips of a trauma response. Which launches into a several show arc where Aang completely disassociates, because the last time he felt something he hurt the people he cared about, and he will not allow himself to do that again.  (The Show is soo good. Watch it. Its on Netflix. You have no reason not to. I know you have time.)

Reality in literature has to be real in some way, and reality is complex. If your realism singles out one emotional reaction playing only that note, it’s as real as anything in conventional porn. See “Big tiddy anime gurl do sex 2 electric bougalu the re-cockining”. It can be a safe play space, but it important to contextualize and identify the play space. Literature informs our world views, and we have to respect what our media diet can do to us. Just as in conventional porn, feminist, anti-colonial, and queer theory remain helpful tools to help manage our relationship with the media. It is just as dangerous to thoughtlessly let porn inform your relationship expectations as it is to let multi-million-dollar corporations inform your view of reality, if not more so.  

[impractical-au]

Impractical- Remy’s Origins

Roman’s Origins Virgil’s Origins Logan’s Origins Patton’s Origins Master List Character List

While stifling a yawn, Copy Cat took a seat on the edge of the roof and leaned back, looking out across the city. “It’s late, how much longer are we going to be out?” “The night is still young! True crime is only just beginning in the veil of night!” The Prince stood proudly, walking back and forth across the rooftop. “We must stay alert!” “Speak for yourself, I have work early in the morning,” Copy Cat wiped at his eye as a tear ran down and sighed. “I’m not used to staying up so late and these contacts are killing me.” “Aww, just a little bit longer?” The Prince walked over to his companion who stared up, eyes drooping as he stretched his arms over his head. “Then we can get you home for the night.” “This cat is not nocturnal. I’m ready for a cat nap.” The Prince smiled and spun around, his cloak billowing behind him. “Worry not, my faithful companion! We just need to let the city know we are here!” He peered over the edge of the roof and stared down at the quiet streets as cars drove by. “Those other two are still out there! We must let them know that we will not be intimidated by them!” Prince waited a moment for a reply before he spun around. “Come on, Pat Cat, at least humor me.” Prince froze, staring at his friend sound asleep on the edge of the roof, except… “‘Fraid he can’t hear you, babe.” Someone held onto Copy Cat’s shoulder, bending down as they watched the masked man doze off. The hero couldn’t make them out other than the darkened glasses that covered their eyes and the jacket they wore. “He looked a little sleepy so I gave him a hand.” The figure wiggled their fingers at the Prince with a smirk before keeling down completely. “Not a smart idea to have them out so tired like that, you can make some mistakes.” “Who are you?!” The Prince took a stance as his hands lit up, blue sparks shooting out and ready to attack. The mysterious figure simply clicked their tongue and sighed. “You really gonna try that with me? Your friend here seems to be having some nice dreams.” At their words, their eyes glowed a hazy white that lit up the glasses and caused Copy Cat to smile. He giggled and sighed, leaning back and snuggling into them as he continued to dream. “I would hate to have to change it into a terrible nightmare.” Princey immediately unclenched his hands, letting the sparks die off. “Good, glad you see things my way.” “Stand and face me, villain! I will not allow you to harm my partner!” Finally, the figure helped Copy Cat off of the ledge and carefully lay him down onto the rooftop where they stayed asleep. “Fine, ruin my aesthetic, why don’t you?” They stood up and stepped closer, letting the Prince finally see them more clearly in the pale moonlight that was washed out by the glow of the city. For some reason, they decided a crop top with a fluffy cloud printed on the front and a leather jacket made for a good fashion choice, and the glasses weren’t glasses at all. They were darkened like sunglasses but appeared more like safety goggles than anything. They smiled and slowly made their way across the rooftop toward the Prince. “So, what do you want from us you fashion reject?” They gasped and placed a hand over their heart. “Ouch, that like, really hurt. Come now, surely you can’t be serious?” They pointed to the Prince and scrunched their nose in disgust. “Dressed like that? Seriously, babe, I look great in comparison.” The Prince glared, his fingers itching to lash out. “You can call me Insomniac. I’m society’s worst nightmare.” “Wow. Real original. Good job, how long did it take for you to come up with that?” “Hmm,” Insomniac took another step closer, keeping a few feet distance between them. “About as long as it took for me to look good in this jacket.” They winked flirtatiously, enjoying the Prince’s reaction as he flushed. “So, they’re your partner, hmm?” “Wha-yes. I mean, no! I mean…” Prince held out his arms, waving them back and forth frantically. “Partner in justice! Nothing more!” “Oooh, really?” Insomniac looked over their shoulder and watched Copy Cat still snoozing on the rooftop happily. “Hey!” Prince stepped forward, holding out his hands as they sparked back to life. “Eye’s off! What do you want from us?” “Nothing, just checking out the others. I mean, you made quite a ruckus across the world, I traveled all this way to this city just to meet you.” The Prince blinked in surprise as his hands calmed down, the blue sparks vanishing once more. “You and that dark one. And then I get here and there’s two more!” Insomniac walked passed Prince and to the edge of the roof. “I think I’m gonna have some fun.” “Wait! What about Copy Cat?” Insomniac looked over his shoulder slowly to the Prince. “I mean, he’ll wake up, right?” “Oh come now. I’m here to have fun, I’m not that evil.” The Prince ran over to his friend snoozing on the side and Insomniac took the chance to leave before the Prince decided to finally take action. After they managed to sneak away down the fire escape as they planned, Insomniac lifted thier goggles and let out a sigh, looking up at the building. “Well, gurl, that was interesting.” Replacing their goggles, they smiled and turned to walk off casually through the city. “Now, Remy, what to do to get the attention of the other two? Hope they’re more fun than that.” 

Taglist: @arandompasserby @waywordwriter (I’m adding my general taglist as well since it’s still technically my writing and I was posting all of this on my main blog originally anyway) General: @helloisthisusernametaken @entitydark @lightningbug04 @moonstone-fox @another-sandersidesblog @thesynysterunknown @roo-kangas @singingjo @unikornavenger @rememberfateau-nowoffical @sanders-sides-trasshcan @sleepyssnail @jemthebookworm @spectralheartt @fandomsofrandom @johnlaurensadmirer-johnsenpaiowo @rosie601 @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @izzyfandoms @zaidiashipper @enbyamy @romanmustberomantic @daylnvale

[dyingswanpavlova]

not that guy (1) - lucifer x reader

Warnings: language, claustrophobia.

Author’s note: not to be that gurl, but since English isn’t my first language, please be kind about (spelling, grammar) mistakes - Cough...I’m not so good with criticism. Thank you. <3

“It’s all your fault.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Yup, you heard me. Without your overly hyped sense of justice we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Suddenly you felt how heat filled up your cheeks and you could no longer hold yourself back.

“If I was you”, you said trying to remain calm, “I’d be quiet now.”

“Oh, if you were me I’d be concerned about much different things”, he grinned and turned away as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

You sighed and pushed yourself back. Only enough so that you didn’t have to look in his face to be constantly reminded of your miserable position. The cold steel of the elevator freshened the skin of your shoulders for a bit, but the heat came back very quickly. Suddenly you felt some sort of nausea coming over you. You slowly closed your eyes and opened them again. It was useless - everything in front of your eyes was slowly losing its colors.

“What- Come on, you can’t tell me that you’re seriously claustrophobic. We’ve got like a lot bigger problems.” He wiped it off with his stupid joky voice that he usually used but he sounded a bit more uncomfortable than usual. He narrowed his eyes.

“Hell-o, is someone home?”

It surely was because he wasn’t going wild on the thought of being stuck in this devilish-safe elevator with someone who was about to lose their consciousness, just to tilt over into his direction...and make all of this even more uncomfortable.

“Y/N?”

You wanted to make a sassy comment about the upcoming tension in his voice, but before you could even think about opening your mouth, you felt how the whole elevator seemed fall down.

“Woah, okay, okay. What in the...”

You expected to end up with your head on the floor pretty quickly but instead you felt a pair of cold hands framing your face. In that second you realized the elevator hadn’t gone anywhere, it was still stuck - instead you had fallen over. You couldn’t move or speak, you just felt your blood rushing very fast. Suddenly everything felt huge on you.

You let Lucifer lead your way down to the floor eventually. He sat with his knees bent and carefully placed your head on his leg. He didn’t say anything but you still heard how his breathing had changed. You couldn’t say anything. Instead you were pretty busy having a physical breakdown.

Funnily enough, you hadn’t had a claustrophobic breakdown since your early teenage days, but somehow the stress of the last weeks, finding Jack, keeping Lucifer busy and head-on-earth and now even being stuck with him in this tiny device. You felt how your chest started lifting and lowering unnaturally fast. Were that tears on your face? You couldn’t tell. The only thing you felt was that clod in your throat.

Surprisingly, all of his former chuckling and joking around had vanished. Instead you felt how his fingertips wandered up and down in your hair, causing you breathing to go a bit easier.

“Just breathe, okay? You’ll be okay”, he whispered as if he was afraid someone might hear.

After some time - you couldn’t tell if it was minutes or hours - you felt well enough to at least open your eyes again. When you found the world wasn’t spinning too fast anymore, you carefully looked for his eyes in the weak light that the elevator offered. You found he was already looking at you, partly surprised and partly with something you might wanna call real concern.

He didn’t say anything, but you felt how his hand slowly slipped alongside your cheek. While one hand was making sure your head didn’t tip over the edge, the other hand was cautiously caressing the skin of your neck, softly feeling your heartbeat and wandering back up. Through all of this his eyes never let go of yours so he could tell if you consented to him doing it.

Suddenly you felt that heat in your cheeks again but this time it wasn’t caused by nausea. Not at all, but instead by the way it suddenly felt to be held by him like that. The two of you had touched before, well, as in ordinary one might say. Hiding in the bunker, hiding from Michael, hiding in the bunker again, cruisin’ all day and listening to his o so horrible jokes caused by his lack of anything near humor...

“Is this better?”, his lips formed almost silently.

You nodded slowly instead of giving him a straight out answer. Your heartbeat was going faster and faster.

Sure, the last few weeks had caused the two of you to somehow grow together for a bit. But that was all natural, wasn’t it? That’s what happens when you spend most of your time with someone, even someone as evil as the devil himself...Or wasn’t it?

Oh my, is he going to kiss me?, you asked yourself. Silently you protested against yourself for even allowing to only think of something as ridiculous and almost insulting to yourself, when...

“I got it! I got it! Just one more second! Pull harder, Sammy!”

All of a sudden you heard how the elevator doors opened and never before had your head rushed up as quickly. You pulled yourself together and jumped up as if you had never felt any sort of dizzy.

“Oh man, are you okay? How long have you been in here?”

You felt the tightness of Dean hugging you and holding you close for a whole while before you allowed yourself to breathe again. When you pulled back, Dean gave you a quick kiss on the lips and then pulled you with him.

“Come on, dickhead, get going!”, he shouted over his shoulder. You could’ve sworn that your eyes had met his for just one second too long, before you realized he was staring at the floor and you were staring at him.

You took your view off abruptly and instead pushed yourself on the passenger seat of Dean’s impala. Never in your whole existence would you ever allow yourself to think such nonsense again.

Never.

If only it was that simple...

[sagesparrow394]

Trans Toy

A fanfic based on my Toy AU, which can be found here!

Pairings: Analogical (platonic), Logince (break up)

Summary: All the toys in Thomas’ bedroom have noticed his princess doll, Lucinda, has been acting distant. Thomas’ rag doll, Virgil, decides to find out what’s going on.

‘Thomas! Dinner’s ready!’

‘Coming, Mom!’

Thomas Sanders carefully placed the prince doll in his hands on the ground, not wanting to break it, before standing and running from his bedroom. As he skipped down the stairs, the teddy bear sat at the head of his bed stood up and looked around. ‘He’s gone, kiddos! It’s okay to move!’ The teddy adjusted the small cat hoodie tied over his shoulders and straightened his glasses before hopping off the bed. ‘Virge, Ro, Lucy, Deccy, Emmy, Remy, Natey! Time for our weekly meeting!’

The prince doll Thomas had dropped stood, straightening his red sash. He turned to a makeshift tower Thomas had constructed. ‘Lucinda, my love, do you need assistance getting down?’

The princess doll inside the tower let out a frustrated sigh. Did her boyfriend honestly think she couldn’t get down on her own? However, Princess Lucinda put on a sweet smile and poked her head out the window. ‘Of course, my dear!’

Prince Roman started scaling the side of the tower as a slightly creepy looking rag doll jumped out of the toy box, followed by a therapy teddy bear, Emile, a Ken doll, Remy, and an action figure, Nate. The rag doll, Virgil, called out. ‘Coming, Pat!’

‘Okay, that’s almost everyone,’ Patton, the first teddy bear, smiled. ‘Deceit, come on down kiddo!’

A yellow plush snake with a black bowler hat slithered out from his spot entwined in Thomas’ bedframe.

‘Okay, is everyone here?’

‘Yes, we are!’ Roman grinned, jumping from the tower, carrying Lucinda in his arms.

‘Actually...’ Lucinda pushed herself out of Roman’s arms, adjusting the skirt of her dress as she stood. ‘I think I’m going to sit this meeting out.’

‘What?’ Roman asked.

‘Aww, why?’ Patton whined.

‘Yeah, what’s the reason behind it? Maybe we could help you,’ Emile offered.

‘Really, it’s nothing,’ Lucinda shrugged. ‘I just usually don’t understand what we’re talking about in these sessions. It’s best if I just leave you to it!’ She giggled before heading off, heading into the closet and shutting the door behind her.

‘Gurl, is she okay?’ Remy asked.

‘I...don’t know,’ Roman sighed. ‘She’s been acting strangely recently. We haven’t kissed in ages, she keeps hiding, and she’s just... been distant.’

‘You didn’t do anything to her, did you?’ Nate asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘What?! Of course not! I love her, we were made for each other!’ Roman replied.

Virgil looked over at the closet, worry filling him. Lucinda hadn’t just been disconnecting from Roman, she’d stopped hanging around with any of the others as well. She and Virgil used to hang out a lot, the two of them often spending time together when they weren’t occupied with other things. However, they hadn’t hung out it weeks.

‘It’s okay, Ro. We can talk to her about it later,’ Patton reassured. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to ask if anyone’s come up with any more ideas for how to loosen Nate’s joints...’

The meeting continued, with the toys presenting various issues and topics for discussion. However, Virgil couldn’t concentrate, eyes repeatedly drifting to the closet. When the meeting finally wrapped up, Roman went to head to the closet. However, he found the rag doll running past him. Virgil turned to him. ‘I just need to talk to her in private for a minute. We’ll come out immediately after.’

Virgil turned and went into the closet, leaving Roman confused.

The second he stepped into the closet, Virgil heard the sound of frustrated sobbing. He stepped around a large box on the ground to see Lucinda sat down on the floor, hugging her knees.

‘Lucy?’

Lucinda looked up upon hearing Virgil’s voice. ‘Oh, salutations- I mean, hi, Virgie!’

Virgil frowned, taking a seat beside the princess. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘Huh? Nothing, I’m fine!’ Lucinda put on a beautiful but obviously false smile.

‘Tell me the truth, Lucy, I get enough lies from Deceit,’ Virgil replied, putting a hand on the doll’s shoulder.

Lucinda fiddled with her skirt, and if it was possible for toys to cry, Virgil was sure, the princess would be. ‘I... Virge, I’m defective.’

‘What?’ Virgil asked, confused at both what she meant and how she knew such a word. Nothing against her, but she was kind of... stupid.

‘I’m broken, I’m not correct,’ Lucinda clarified. ‘You know how my character is an absolute idiot in mine and Roman’s movie? I may put on that front, but... I’m not. Would someone so stupid know the definition of infinitesimal, know that the scientific name for a tomato is Solanum lycopersicum, and know the name of a human’s internal body clock is the circadian rhythm? I’m not like my character, it’s a design flaw. But that’s not all...

‘I don’t actually have romantic feelings for Roman. I never have. I pretend I do because I know I’m supposed to, and it would break his heart if I told him the truth, but I really don’t feel that way. But my character’s supposed to be Roman’s true love, my character’s supposed to be an idiot, and my character’s supposed to be the most feminine person on the planet.’

Virgil had been shocked the entire time he was listening. He’d had no idea about any of this. However, the last phrase Lucinda spoke really stood out to him. ‘You aren’t feminine?’

‘No...’ Lucinda shook her head. ‘I’ve never told anyone this, but... I... I think I’m a man. I just don’t feel like a girl, the label “female” just doesn’t feel right. “Male” does. But that’s not what I’m supposed to be, my character is a girl, a female, a woman, I’m supposed to- ’

‘Hey, hey, hey!’ Virgil moved in front of the doll and put his hands on her... no, his shoulders. ‘Look, you are your own person, you aren’t tied down by your character. If you’re a guy, you’re a guy, the fact you’re a toy doesn’t mean you can’t be trans. Same for your feelings for Roman, and your intelligence; you aren’t the same person as the one in those movies. She’s Princess Lucinda. You are not her. You are...’ He trailed off, so the toy before him could finish the end.

‘...Logan.’

Virgil smiled. ‘Logan. That’s a nice name. It suits you.’

Lucinda Logan smiled. ‘I’ve, um, been thinking about it for a while.’

‘So, Logan, are you feeling better?’

The princess prince doll nodded. He paused. ‘Virge? Can you do something for me?’

‘Yeah, sure, what is it?’

‘Cut my hair.’

‘Huh?’

‘I want you to cut my hair short for me. Please?’

Virgil looked unsure. ‘I dunno... I mean, we’re not like humans: if you cut your hair short, you can’t grow it back if you change your mind.’

‘I want this, Virge. I promise,’ Logan reassured. ‘Please?’

Virgil bit his lip before sighing. ‘Okay...’ He got up and started searching for something to cut Logan’s hair with.

Sometime later, Virgil was knelt before Logan, admiring his handiwork. As well as cutting his hair, Virgil had also found a way to scratch off the ‘make-up’ from the doll’s face.

‘How do I look?’ Logan asked.

‘There’s something missing... I know!’ Virgil got up and ran to a box of old toy accessories. He dug around until finding the finishing touch. ‘I think these’ll make you look like the smart, sophisticated guy you really are.’ He shuffled back over to Logan and pushed the pair of glasses onto the doll’s face. ‘Wow...’ He turned and grabbed a hand mirror, which is the equivalent to a full body mirror for the toys, and dragged it over.

Logan’s eyes widened as he saw his reflection. ‘Oh my god...’

‘Did I mess up? I’m really sorry if I- ’

‘No, Virge, I love it! Thank you.’ Logan stood and, after a moment’s hesitation, hugged the rag doll.

‘N-no problem,’ Virgil stuttered.

‘Hey, Lucy, are you okay? You’ve been in here for- ’

Logan pulled away from Virgil and the two of them looked around to see Roman stood there, staring wide eyed at them.

‘L-Lucinda... what did you do to your hair? And why are you wearing those glasses?’

‘U-um, nothing, I-I just...’ Logan paused, making eye contact with Virgil, who gave him a reassuring nod. Logan took a deep breath. ‘Logan. My name isn’t Lucinda, it’s Logan.’

‘What?’

‘Roman...’ Logan stepped forward, taking Roman’s hands. ‘You are a very good guy. But... you’re not for me. The two of us just aren’t compatible. To make you happy, I had to pretend to be someone I’m not, but I can’t do that anymore. It’s not fair to myself, or to you. Roman, it’s time I tell you the truth. I’m a trans man, my name is Logan, I’m smarter than my character, and I don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry.’

Roman looked like he’d been slapped on the face. He kept opening his mouth to respond, but no sound came out.

‘Look, Roman, we’ll give you a minute to process this.’ Virgil stepped forward and took Logan’s hand. ‘Let’s go tell the others in the meantime.’

Logan nodded, and he and the rag doll left the closet, leaving Roman alone inside, speechless.

-

The others had all taken the news a lot better. Patton and Emile had given Logan big hugs. Remy had yelled, ‘That’s my gurl! And I mean ‘gurl’ as the gender-neutral term.’ Nate had promised that of he heard someone say anything negative about it, he would bring justice.

Roman didn’t leave the closet for the rest of the day. In fact, he wasn’t seen for two days. Multiple times, Logan thought about going into the closet to look for him, but never actually did.

Then, finally, Roman emerged.

He didn’t say a word as he shuffled into the centre of the room, carrying a post-it note. Logan went to go up to him to talk, but he didn’t get a chance as Thomas’ footsteps sounded, coming towards the door. Roman pressed the post-it note to his chest before he and the other toys fell stiff.

Thomas pushed open his bedroom door and skipped in. He paused, however, upon seeing Roman. He knelt down and picked up the doll before reading the note.

Dear Thomas

It is I, Prince Roman! I just wanted to tell you a little about some things that happened in the kingdom of Sandersia. First of all, as you know, Princess Lucinda and I have been together for a while. However, after recent events, the two of us have decided that we are better apart. Also, she is not Princess Lucinda at all! She, or rather he, would like to be referred to as Prince Logan. Prince Logan is very smart! He knows a lot of things, and often provides the voice of reason in the group.

Just thought you should know,

Prince Roman

Thomas put the note down and picked Logan up from where he was led on the floor. Thomas had initially been confused when he first saw the doll with short hair and glasses, but now he had an answer!

‘Okay! It’s nice to meet you properly, Logan! Now what’s going to happen today...’ He gathered his toys on his bed. ‘How about... Deceit, the slippery snake, ends up kidnapping the kind leader of the bears, Patton. Emile, Patton’s best friend, runs to Sandersia to request help from the brave Prince Roman and intelligent Prince Logan! On the way, they meet the magical sorcerer, Virgil, who promises to assist them on their journey. And so, the quest began!’

Thomas played, creating stories and quests, making most of his kind of new character. When his mom came in and sent Thomas to bed, Logan took the chance to go up to Roman.

‘Thank you so much.’

‘It’s nothing, Microsoft Nerd,’ Roman replied.

‘Oh, so now we’re not dating, you’re giving me those nicknames you used to give Virgil.’ Logan rolled his eyes.

‘For the record, I still give them to Surly Temple over there.’

‘It’s true, he does,’ Virgil nodded from where he was climbing into the toybox. ‘You two coming or what?’

For the first time, Logan climbed into the toybox without Roman insisting he assist. For the first time, he didn’t find himself curled in Roman’s arms.

For the first time, Logan felt free to be himself.

Taglist: @elementalshadowwitch, @hpjkfgw

[nightglider124]

A Present for Ava <3

Omg, I am shit because this is three days late asdfghjkl i got busy and was trying to get this done for you gurl and finally, we’re here XD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY RIDE OR DIE; BEST BESTIE A GAL COULD HAVE, @fireflyxrebel !!!!  Tis belated but at least I wished it on your actual bday lmao!

I hope you had an amazeballs birthday because if anyone deserves it; it is you, Ava. I hope you stuffed your face with cake and all the good stuff because if you can’t on your birthday, when can you??

You is my actual fave around these parts and so, I wrote you a little BBRae somethin-something which I hope you like. I am unused to writing them as a main so hopefully this is a oneshot where I’ve hopefully done them justice? I don’t know, I just pray you like it XD.

Sorry it took so long gurl but again, happy birthday and I hope it was kick-ass. Ily! <3 <3 <3

Snow

A bitter chill clung to the wisps of the wind in the night as darkness shrouded the city with the exception of a few blinking lights dotted amongst buildings, houses and skyscrapers. Jump was quietly winding down for yet another winter evening; not quite silent yet but slowly working its way towards the tranquility of midnight.

The tower was mostly unlit, save for a window or two on the higher levels. A dim glow washed over the walls of Ops, creating composure with a volume to match.

His mouth hung open, just a fraction as he trained his deep, forest green eyes on the TV screen before them. The man on screen dressed from head to toe in black garments followed behind the unsuspecting woman, slyly pulling a blade from inside his jacket, ready to strike at any given moment.

Gar tilted his head, attention on the predictable scene of the horror movie that they’d decided to throw on since there were none of the others around to squabble over what to watch.

There was a shift in movement from beside him and he briefly glanced over at his violet haired beauty, her dark eyes cast down at the novel in her hands. Gar quirked a small smile and his chest gave a thud, his heart skipping a beat like it always did when he looked at her; really looked at her and saw Raven for the enchantress she truly was.

Although, he’d likely get a smack for ever uttering something so cheesy but that didn’t stop him from thinking it to himself.

“You’re staring again...” She murmured, raising an eyebrow but not yet removing her focus from the words on the pages of her book.

Gar grinned, his fang poking out from beneath his lip. He nudged her shoulder and leaned in, dropping a kiss to her pale cheek.

Raven refused to let the blush that was threatening to spill onto her china like skin, from spreading like the wildfire it was. She already felt the heat rising but swallowed discreetly, stubbornly quelling the effect that grin had on her.

“I have a pretty sight to stare at.” He told her, waggling his eyebrows in her direction, “Can’t blame me; it’s technically your fault.”

She bit down on the inside of her cheek and really tried to maintain that air of nonchalance that she played so well but knew, deep down, her resolve was slipping.

Slowly, a small smirk appeared against her cupid bow lips, “Idiot.”

He blew a kiss at her, “You love it.”

Raven smiled, a happy gleam in her eyes as she shook her head at her boyfriend’s antics. Gar matched her expression and turned to nuzzle her neck, just enough to draw a deliciously startled gasp from her.

He pulled away, that look of achievement on his face which Raven offered a mock glare to. Gar’s high pitched chuckle met her ears and she shuddered, always questioning how he managed to give her feelings like these.

“This is an okay horror movie, y’know.” Gar commented, folding his arms over his chest as he resumed his watchful eye on the TV.

Raven nodded, finishing the sentence she was on before she closed the book with a soft thud and carefully placed it upon the coffee table. She sat back and instinctively leaned in towards Gar who immediately draped his arm over the back of the sofa, creating the perfect crevice to snuggle up into if she so wished but he never pushed. He gave the option and allowed her to make that choice.

Raven was still an enigma, even after knowing her for so long and even dating her for the past 3 years. However, he knew there was an abundance more than met the eye. Sometimes she craved affection and touch and attention; it was rarer but he couldn’t deny that he loved when she found herself needing that from him. Other times, she would stay distant with a few small smiles thrown his way but in that quiet way of hers that he still loved.

She rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes on the screen now too.

“Is it another typical slasher?” She asked in a monotone,

“No...”

“Oh?”

“Okay, it is but it’s really good!” He squeaked, turning to beam at her.

Raven playfully rolled her eyes but gave him a ghost of a smile before she shook her head. He was such a child sometimes; a happy little puppy, getting excited over the little things but she knew, in her heart of hearts, she wouldn’t trade him for anything.

“If you say so.” Raven mused,

“I do say so but...” He glanced at her, that pleading look that she was almost certain he had co conspired to create with Starfire. They both used it when they really wanted something, “We can still watch Elf after, right?”

She smirked, “I thought you were all for horror?”

“I am but... it’s only a week til Christmas and I wanna get all festive, Rae.” He explained,

One week until Christmas and for once, Gar was completely prepared. He’d bought all his gifts and even wrapped them with Starfire’s help of course; she loved this time of year and always took the responsibility of wrapping presents wherever she was given permission.

His girlfriend’s presents were inevitably what he set out to buy first. He’d bought her the regular stuff he knew she liked and enjoyed receiving; new novels, candles, herbal tea gift sets; all of those types of gifts, she asked for.

But, he’d managed to be sneaky this year and buy her something she wouldn’t be expecting. In recent years, she’d let her hair grow long, past her shoulders to the point she had it as long as Starfire’s had been back when they were merely teenagers.

So, in accordance, he had stumbled across a gothic boutique in central Jump which sold combs. Gar had found a matching pair of obsidian hair combs with small raven detailing on them. They had a slight shimmer to them but not enough where she would be put off; at least he hoped she wouldn’t be.

Upon seeing them, Gar knew he had to have them for her and he was praying that she loved them.

He had some confidence in his soul though; showing them to the surrogate sister of his heart proved comforting. She’d squealed and practically bounced on the spot.

Raven blinked at him but nodded, “We can watch it but if you try making me the spaghetti and maple syrup thing he makes in the movie again, I will burn the disc.”

He flashed that toothy grin of his, “I make no promises. He’s onto something with that recipe.”

She pulled a face of utter disgust, considering the first time he tried to do that which ended with Raven subsequently agreeing and gagging only seconds later. It tasted horrific and she was a terrible liar so she couldn’t even tell him it was good to spare his feelings.

Gar had merely chuckled and kissed her temple, already at the kettle, brewing a nice cup of steaming earl grey to rid her of the bad taste his concoction has left in her mouth.

Still, it was a funny memory to think back on.

Raven smiled quietly to herself as his eyes found the TV screen again, her hand resting just over his heart. She closed her eyes, letting the rhythmic thumping soothe her.

The changeling exhaled in content and leaned back against the couch cushions, enjoying the time being spent alone together. It was nice to live in a house with the team, even after all this time but sometimes, a night alone for just the two of them is all they really craved.

Cyborg and Bee had been down in the garage for a solid few hours, working on upgrades for the T-Car that Vic had insisted his baby needed if she was to survive missions throughout the harsh winter weather.

But, Gar had assumed the ‘working’ had stopped a while ago if the soft jazz music drifting up from the ground floor was anything to go by.

Dick and Starfire were in bed, having managed to get Mar’i down for her bedtime early for once. She was bursting with excitable energy so it made nightly routines difficult when all she wanted to do was float and play with her family and toys.

They’d claimed they were going to sleep but Gar could hazard a guess at what they were more likely doing within their bedroom. They didn’t get much time for themselves as a couple either now, with their little bundle of joy around.

A single moment of peace and quiet for them was utter bliss and Dick and Starfire tried hard to make the most of those moments so the shape shifter couldn’t really blame the parents if they were trying to connect in that way.

As the couple lounged together on the sofa in comfortable silence, a startling gasp from Gar roused Raven from her lethargic position against him. She bolted upright, snapping her head to him,

“What? What’s wrong?” She fretted, her eyes sweeping over him to check.

His face was not one of fear or of panic however; it was one of barely concealed glee.

“Rae! Look!” He hissed, jumping to his feet and scurrying over to the gigantic windows adorning the back wall of the main room. He pointed outside and she had to squint, not having a clue what he was babbling about.

“What?” She asked, pulling her cloak around her as she stood up.

“It’s snowing!” He breathed, his emerald eyes sparkling with exhilaration,

“So?” Raven shrugged,

“Like a lot! It’s gonna settle fast!”

“Again... so what?”

“Raaae!” He whined, rolling his eyes at her not connecting the dots with that beautiful brain of hers.

“What, Gar?”

“We have to go out in it!” He squeaked,

Raven’s eyes went wide and she flinched beneath her cloak, “What?! Are you insane? It’s 2am. We’ll catch our deaths.”

He turned to look at her, smirking as he wriggled his eyebrows, “I’m sure you can heal us before it gets to that, babe.”

Raven blushed at the pet name, as she always tended to but she folded her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, “Gar-”

“Please, Rae? Snow is my favorite and it’s never like this in the mornings! It’s all slushy or iced over and no fun.”

She watched him, that buzzing aura, similar to that of childlike wonder being the only energy she could currently feel. It washed over her; calmed her emotions and allowed her to be more relaxed in what he was suggesting.

Her silly boy was an oddity and a rarity.

Raven chewed her lip before she shook her head and sighed, “10 minutes on the roof and then we come back inside. Got it?”

“Definitely!” Gar vowed, snatching her hand and pulling her along for the ride as he bounded out of the main room in the direction of the stairs leading to the roof.

When they reached the top of the staircase, Gar threw open the metal door whilst Raven watched with dry amusement as his expression softened into one of pure awe.

As a particularly frozen gust of wind passed by them, Raven tugged her cloak around her body so tight; her fingers went a light shade of white. Garfield, on the other hand, hopped out onto the fresh, powdered snow that lay across the rooftop like a blanket, leaving a trail of sneaker imprints.

He turned around in a circle and stuck his tongue out, trying to taste the falling snowflakes. That boyish grin of his was plastered across his lips, looking extremely satisfied each time he heard the snow crunch beneath his own feet.

“Look at all the snow, Rae!” He chirped, crouching down to leave an indent of his hand print in the bed of snow.

“Mhm. It’s great. And cold. Can we go back inside now?” She asked, tonelessly,

Gar rolled his eyes at her before he jogged back to where she still stood in the doorway. He smirked and wriggled his fingers at her,

“C’mon… y’know you want to.”

She pulled a face, “I really don’t.”

“Please? Just for a while and then we’ll go inside. I promise.” He glanced at his wrist to mimic a watch, “You said 10 minutes, remember?”

“Gar, it’s freezing…” She muttered, kicking some snow away from the door.

“I can warm you up.” He replied in a smooth guy voice,

She gave him a look but couldn’t help the corners of her lips quirking upwards into a smile.

Gar beamed and gently tugged on her hand, “That’s my Rae.”

She sighed and followed him out onto the roof, glancing down at her boots that were already covered with snow.  Raven inwardly cursed at the things she did for this boy of hers; 2am and here she was, standing on the roof of the tower with him, just to play in the snow.

“Why are you so amazed by this, Gar?” She wondered aloud as she noticed him bent over and rolling up the body of a snowman, “You’ve seen snow plenty of times.”

“I know…” He chuckled, “And I always get this excited; just none of you ever see it. I know the guys would make fun if they did but… this time of year… I don’t know… acting like a kid and getting excited over the little things… it just seems right, y’know?”

Raven watched him, feeling the drop in his euphoria as he continued talking.

“I know it’s stupid but… well, none of us really had a normal childhood so I guess… I kinda try to make up for it now, like freaking out over snow… I know I probably don’t- Oof!” He was cut off as a snowball hit him on the shoulder, the snow splattering over the rest of his arm, the already melted thing dribbling down his skin.

He flinched, completely off guard and spun around to see his smirking empath, already holding another snowball encased in her magic. She raised an eyebrow, “Well, we now have 8 minutes. I suppose you better make the most of it.”

A slow, wide grin spread over his lips and he furrowed his eyebrows in determination, “Aw, you’re so going down, babe!”

“Uh huh. We’ll see.” She remarked, letting the snowball fly as he ducked to start building up his own artillery.

They continued the snow assault on one another, quiet laughter bubbling up into the night sky as they chased each other across the frosted roof. Raven didn’t even notice that they had been out there for 30 minutes rather than her stern 10 until Gar sniffled and sneezed several times in a row.

Pausing, she dropped her snowball to the ground and frowned at him with worry shining in her eyes. He snuffed and rubbed his nose as she stalked closer to him.

He offered her a smile and shrugged, “I’m good-”

“No you’re not.”

“Rae, I swear; I’m fine!” He squeaked, not wanting to end their fun in the snow; he loved so much when she allowed herself to be free and just enjoy herself, no matter how silly or kid like the activity was.

She allowed her hand to glow a periwinkle blue and pressed it to his chest, silencing him.

Raven clicked her tongue and her brows knitted together, “You’re getting sick.”

“Rae-“

“You should have grabbed a coat.”

He laughed as she grabbed his shoulders and turned him towards the door, “Raven-“

“C’mon… we’ve been out here way longer than 10 minutes anyway.” She told him,

Gar clicked his fingers, “Aww, I hoped you wouldn’t notice.” He mumbled, whilst Raven rolled her eyes at him and led him down the stairs, closing the roof door behind her.

The changeling continued to sniffle and scrub at his red tipped nose as they made their way back down into the main room. As they crossed the threshold, they froze at the sight of another person in the kitchen.

“What’re you guys doing?” Dick asked, his blue eyes narrowed at them in utter bewilderment,

He stood by the counter wearing a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt with a glass of water in hand.

“Uh…” Raven thought for an answer but came up empty so Gar saved them with the truth.

Taking her hand in his own, Gar grinned at their friend and leader, “It snowed, dude!”

Dick briefly glanced over at the windows, noticing the thick snowflakes falling and sticking to the glass before melting and rolling down the panes.

“Oh yeah… so it has…” He noted, “So, you were playing in the snow?”

Gar rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah!”

Dick chuckled and took a sip of water, shaking his head at their antics. Gar shuffled his feet and looked like he was about to brush it aside and make a joke out of himself.

Raven, however, was quicker to comment, “It’s... actually really fun.”

The dark haired vigilante raised an eyebrow at her whilst Gar looked incredulously at her; not believing she had actually said that.

“I thought you hated the snow, Raven.” Dick pointed out,

She shrugged and gazed at Gar, “It helps you to feel calm and carefree; like being a kid again.”

The shape shifter felt a warmth spread across his chest where his heart lay, his stomach fluttering and he was reminded of one of the many reasons he fell in love with Raven.

She liked to tease and make fun of him but when she knew it was something close to his heart or something that ran deeper, she made a point of supporting him, no matter how minor a thing it was.

“Hm... never really looked at it that way.” Dick replied, stifling a yawn,

Gar smiled and gently pressed his lips to Raven’s cheek, making her blush a faint pink.

“Actually, Dick... I was hoping that maybe tomorrow... I could take Mar’i out to play in the snow? Y’know since... she hasn’t really experienced it yet... I thought she might be all amazed over it.”

Dick paused and pulled his drink away from his lips, considering before he nodded and smiled softly at his friend, “Sure, Gar.” He paused and eyed the green jokester’s lack of outerwear, “Just... make sure she is warm. She’s too little to be going out there without a coat on.”

Gar chuckled sheepishly whilst Raven furrowed her eyebrows, “Too little? You know she’s temperature resilient like Star, right?”

“Obviously but I still don’t like chancing her getting cold.” Dick retorted, in his ‘dad’ voice,

Grinning, Gar pouted, “Aw, papa Dick so worried.”

Dick rolled his eyes and put his now empty glass back into the basin on the counter, “Obviously. She’s my daughter, after all.”

Raven quirked a tiny smile, “Mhm... we know.”

Their leader shook his head and passed them, kissing Raven’s forehead and high fiving Gar as he moved, “Night guys. See you in the morning.”

“Night, Dick.” The couple replied in unison,

Gar watched Raven out of the corner of his eye for a long moment before he gently took her hands in his,

“Thanks for that, Rae.” He murmured,

“Thanks for what?” She asked, her eyes flicking from his jade ones to his lips,

“Being onside with the child, carefree thing...”

She gifted him with one of her rare, serene and signature Raven smiles,

“Snow has never really been important to me... but if it’s important to you...” She trailed off, lifting her chin slightly more,

Gar smirked and leaned down, brushing his nose against hers before pressing his forehead to hers. Raven closed her eyes and exhaled calmly before her eyes snapped open again,

“If you sneeze on me right now-” She was cut off by Gar’s throaty chuckle,

“Guess you better kiss me before that happens then, huh?”

“Why-”

He wrinkled his nose, “Uh oh, I feel a tickle-”

Instantly, he was silenced as Raven pressed her lips to his, allowing them to mold perfectly with Gar’s. Heat sparked through them, shooting along nerve endings and electrifying the calmness between them.

His hands found her waist whilst her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingertips brushing against the line of Gar’s jaw and eliciting fire in the wake of where she touched.

Gar pulled back and sucked in a gasp, that flicker of excitement in his eyes. Raven smiled and leaned her forehead against his once again,

“I’m still cold.” She muttered,

“Oh-“

“So... why not follow through with that comment earlier about warming me up?” She breathed, her cheeks flushing red with her suggestion.

Gar blinked at her for a moment before he broke into a wide grin, “I can do that!” He squeaked, already taking her by the hand and leading her out of the main room.

As they moved, Gar realized that as much fun as the snow outside was, being inside with Raven was where he wanted to be. Always.

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Joker’s Favor

“She can't open the door and push it in all by herself! THINK!”

Batman the Animated Series. Teaching the dangers of road rage since 1992!

Episode: 22 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 11, 1992 Grade: B

Char’s main reaction to seeing this episode for the first time was, “My girl!!” She loves Harley (and Poison Ivy). For me too, it’s nice to finally introduce Harley Quinn to the DC Animated Universe. Of course, back when this episode initially aired, it was also her introduction to the world of comic books in general. Written to be a one-off henchwoman to the Joker, wow, who would have seen the massive Harley Quinn storm coming. I was working at Party City when Suicide Squad came out, and by far the most popular costume we sold to young girls and women alike was Harley Quinn. People who know nothing about Batman are at least a little familiar with her. Sometimes even more familiar with her than the Dark Knight himself. And good lord, have fun trying to buy a copy of Batman Adventures #12 for a decent price. Even reprints can cost you around 100 bucks. You know how annoying that is for someone who just wants to own a physical copy of the damn thing to read?

I can only assume that Suicide Squad was the major catapult for the hype surrounding the character. I don’t remember seeing her around nearly as much before. Although I’m sure the Arkham series helped a little bit too. And I won’t lie to you, I’m a little salty about it. Oh, believe me, it’s definitely petty “nerd rage”. Or maybe you could call it the “hipster effect”. What annoys us about liking something for so long, and then, much later, finding out that it suddenly blows up with admiration? It’s stupid, this should make us happy, right? But yes, to let the cat out of the bag, I really do love Harley Quinn’s character. At least, the DCAU version of her. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, I’ve never read any of her comics outside of the DCAU tie-ins, and I’ve never seen any episodes of other Batman cartoons with her in it. Doesn’t particularly interest me (not that I’m directly opposed). But I know that in the DCAU she’s really interesting, she’s a lot of fun, and some of the best moments of the entire series involve her heavily. The Laughing Fish, from what I remember, is up there among my favorite episodes. And how about the flashback in ROTJ? That’s one of the best Batman stories ever told, period. She’s not my favorite villain by any means, but the show would definitely be missing something without her. Speaking of her roles in the DCAU, maybe that’s where that “hipster effect” comes from. Maybe we get salty when people are oblivious toward a character’s…or a band’s…or a show’s…or whatever’s…early days. Yeah, that’s gotta be it, right? When Pokémon Go was new, I saw people complaining because these kids hadn’t played the original Red and Blue versions. And no one would ever really get annoyed if an old album by Blink-182 suddenly spiked in sales. No, it’s only when someone discovers new stuff and isn’t familiar with anything before that. I’m not saying this behavior is rational, and I hate it whenever I feel this way (for the record, I defended those kids just getting into Pokémon through Pokémon Go who were being shit on by “gen-wunners”). But it’s a possible explanation. Maybe we feel that people are missing out or not putting in the effort to fully appreciate/respect a thing and why it is the way it is.

Even though Harley Quinn was an amazing addition to the series, she didn’t exactly start out that way. Ignoring her popularity, she doesn’t particularly stand out in this episode, at least, not to me. But she must have back then. Fans liked her so much, she started appearing in the Batman Adventures comics! But I won’t start complaining about Batman Adventures #12 again. At least, not yet… Of course, where this is the first Harley episode, it figures as such that Paul Dini is the writer. This episode shows us again that he knows how to write a great story to be taken seriously, but also knows how to inject a lot of fun into it. That seems to be what separates Dini from some of the other best writers. A lot of the most serious episodes are really damn serious, with virtually no fun to be had. But Dini throws in some cheeky bits. Harley, for example. Or Batman coming down with a cold in Heart of Ice. It’s certainly welcome, but honestly, I prefer episodes like Two-Face a little bit more. And that’s why I’ve settled on a B for this episode. Yeah, I know. Everyone raises this episode up on a pedestal and says how much of a classic it is. I won’t argue with y’all. It’s an important episode, and it is entertaining. But it’s not as entertaining as a lot of other episodes to me. I like it. I don’t love it. Sue me. Char actually felt the same way, so I’m not alone there. She loved the Joker, as usual, and loved seeing “her gurl” Harley, but as far as the actual episode goes, she only liked it. Strangely enough, I have virtually no complaints. For the most part it’s pretty flawless, unless I really want to nitpick at stupid shit (like when Joker points out Charlie’s hair-loss when he has the same amount of hair as earlier). Probably the only thing that actually made me scratch my head was during the scene where Charlie threatens Joker with one of his own bombs. Why did Charlie know it wouldn’t explode, but the Joker himself didn’t? The only thing I can really think of is that Batman was in on the joke, and rewired the thing. But that doesn’t sit too well with me either. Oh, and also the scenes involving the fight amongst the recreated temple was a little hokey, and didn’t match a lot of the flow. It was too random-seeming, plus the idea that all of these death traps would remain active is ludicrous. We do get the Joker at some of his best, though, and we even hear Batman laugh in-costume (a first for this series). If there’s one thing Batman shouldn’t do often, it’s use the bat-laugh. And the writers knew when to use it well. Just wait till Mad Love. As long as they don’t have Batman sing… I will now turn my head toward my Justice League Unlimited set and stare at it with a dead smile for a few seconds.

And what about the crime prince of clown himself? I think we get the most insight into his mind out of all the Joker episodes so far in this one. The first two Joker appearances were just sorta goofy romps that you would expect, and the next one (Be a Clown) was an episode of lesser entertainment value. Here, we take the best elements of the Be a Clown Joker and fuse it with the Joker we got more from the other episodes to create what I would consider to be the definitive DCAU Joker. Let’s go over it. Y’know those maniacs who chase you down the street just because you made the tiniest mistake while driving (sometimes it might even be more their fault than yours)? Well imagine if when they caught up to you, you saw that they were a psychotic, killing clown. That’s fun… After this happens to Charlie Collins, the Joker threatens to kill him, but ends up sparing him so that over the next two years, he can have a fun time of basically tracking, stalking, and keeping up with this man. I like this because, on one hand, it seems so silly that he’d want to do this simply because of a traffic incident. Like, doesn’t he have better things to do with this time? But also, the Joker knows that every day, Charlie lives in fear that the Joker will find and contact him. It’s the manipulative aspect that we saw in Be a Clown coming out. The Joker takes pleasure in ruining lives. We also have the whacky side of the Joker seen in The Last Laugh with how ridiculous the concept is. Going back to the hair-loss comment mention earlier in passing, I actually think it would have been really clever to start him out with a full head of hair, but then show him super bald later on, showing that the stress of it all had really taken a toll on him, despite his seemingly great life.

Well, then, the Joker has Charlie fly over to Gotham just to open a door for Harley. Yeah. Open a door. I friggin’ love this twist. He’s like an Alice In Wonderland character, having seemingly no rhyme or reason for anything, but you know it all somehow makes sense in his twisted head. We know this because of what he manages to pull off, and how dangerous he is. If he truly knew nothing, he wouldn’t escape Arkham time and time again or get away with nearly as much as he does. And then finally at the end, we have some moments of scary Joker-rage paired with the Joker actually yelling to Batman for help. It’s such a sudden mood change, and you have to question whether or not the Joker’s anger was real. If it is, that makes it scarier. He’s like a meth-addict. We also see the Joker shove Harley Quinn to the side so that he can get to the phone, a very early look at the abusive relationship that we don’t see in full until later down the line. Like I said earlier, Harley was supposed to be a one-off, so this likely wasn’t Dini’s intent to display, but in hindsight, it’s got a much different light casted on it. It shows how much care was put into these stories, making everything match up, even if it wasn’t the initial plan.

This opening shot looked pretty stilted, reminding us that it’s essentially a cell being moved to the right.

Our main character, Charlie Collins. I wanna know what kind of fashion statement that haircut is. The “vertical rat tail”?

That moment of realization. Great job of capturing that immediate regret. It’s like he was brought back to reality, but sent into the Twilight Zone all at the same time.

The Joker knows how scary he is.

This shot was kinda funky with how bright some of the Joker’s features were. 

The Joker appears rather large when in comparison to the character who is supposed to be in front of him. This happens at least one other time in the episode. It adds to his threatening aura here, though.

“Oh please, don’t insult me.” the Joke retorts when Charlie assumes that he’s being robbed of money. 

Been missing these guys! Haven’t seen enough of them!

Jim: “If anyone should be getting a testimonial it’s you!” Batman: “I’m just the nightshift. You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That’s what those people want to honor.” The most endearing friendship on the show. He even then proceeds to ask Batman where he can rent a tux. 

The Joker playing darts backwards. Throwing them at the commissioner. 

Harley Quinn’s first appearance ever! Bruce Timm did an excellent job with her design. Also, another instance of Joker looking rather large. Apparently perspective isn’t Dong Yang’s strong suit.

And then the Joker proceeds to do a perfect backflip. Damn, he’s limber!

Me too, dude. Also the Joker was throwing darts right above this guy’s head.

Somehow a better license picture than any I’ve ever gotten. Also we have confirmation that, in the DCAU at least, Gotham City is in New York.

“Leave the sideburns.”

An unsettling shot as they circle around Don’s (Charlie’s) block, threatening his family.

“Any way I could sneak out with you?” Me too, dude. Lines like this add so much character that gimmicks or statements about them could never reach.

“Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.”

Bullock hitting on Harley. How does he look like even more of a sleaze when spiffed up for an event?

Montoya’s look of pleasure when Bullock gets whacked in the shin by Harley’s baton. Also, them cheekbones. 

“...okayyy, we’ll tough it out here.”

Joker’s sudden mood-swings combined with his delivery from Mark Hamill are obvious callbacks to the Blue Meanies in Yellow Submarine.

Charlie, about to shove a bomb up Joker’s ass. “Batman! Batmaaaaan!” Actually, y’know what this reminds me of?

This great moment.

Joker, relieved to see Batman. “<gasp> How long have you been there?” We also get, “You’re no fun anymore, Charlie.” If there’s one thing Joker can’t stand, it’s getting upstaged when it comes to the crazy.

A solid episode for sure, but for those of you who only know about Harley from her more recent shenanigans (and you don’t have a genuine interest in watching a Batman cartoon), check out The Laughing Fish instead. And for those of you following along with me for the long haul, join us next time! …Crikey!

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Vendetta Full episode list here!