#MY DUMBASS THOUGHT IT WAS CALLED BABY ELEPHANT

[the-grand-av3]

velvette also gets to ask the boys for anything she wants (even if its out of any budget they may have) and vox cant disagree or else he gets water to the motherboard

Well i didnt ask for anything sooo

You asked for like, twelve things~

And I agreed to get most of them.

can i get drunk elephant

PLEASE NO WE ARE APREADY BROKE

Very well babydoll~

yipee

[mackenzielovee]

ambivalence blurb: nostalgia - rafe cameron

a/n: hi i'm back again!!! i love writing for these two bc it's just so comforting. i will never stop. pls enjoy and as always, let me know what you think! xoxo

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, swearing, intoxication

series masterlist

You sit on your couch in between two large gift bags, your mom on your left and Wheezie on your right. You'd told Rose you wanted your baby shower to be small, and she ultimately agreed to hosting it in the guest house. You had (mistakenly - you now realize) assumed that she would listen to you; pick up a few sandwich platters, have mimosas for the guests, and make it as relaxing as possible.

She did have mimosa ingredients, but everything else was different.

She'd gone all out - with the help of your mother - decorations and balloons lining every inch of the room, various foods piling up at the bar, and she'd seemed to have invited the entire island.

The worst part was, she'd told Rafe he couldn't be there. Now, as you sit on your couch and open presents in front of a few people you know and what seems to be forty other strangers, you look around for him subconsciously, hoping he'll pop out of thin air.

"This one's mine!"

You look up for the voice and match it to one of Rose's friends, a woman you'd met at the Club before but didn't feel like you knew her well enough for her to be standing in your living room.

You smile politely and, with one last search for Rafe, who you know won't be here, you suck in a deep breath and shove your emotions down. You feel selfish as you have the impulse to cry, kick everyone out, and demand Rafe come home. A large part of you is just extremely uncomfortable without Rafe's presence, as he knows exactly what you need with one glance.

When you reach into the bag, you pull out a large, stuffed, cartoon-looking elephant. He's smiling up at you and your eyes fill with tears, because one thought pops into your head.

Rafe would hate this.

He'd say it's ridiculous, that your baby isn't going to need a stuffed animal that big, and that it would take up more of the crib than your son.

"Thank you so much," you smile genuinely up at her, hoping it shows through.

"Oh, of course, dear. My Elliott had one when he was a baby, and I never had to get up once during the night! Mostly because I made James do it, but I'm sure the elephant helped, too."

It's meant to be a joke and everyone laughs, while yours is more of a wince. The thought of making Rafe get up every single time makes you feel sick. Mostly because you know he'd do it with no complaints. You just don't want to be selfish with him. Ever.

The room goes immediately silent when there's a crash in the kitchen, making everyone turn their heads. With the crowd, you can't see in there but you're sure someone just dropped something by accident. Your ears perk up when you hear them.

"Nice going, dumbass."

"Dude, I thought it was plastic."

"Does this look like plastic?"

"Yes."

"No, it-"

"Would you two shut up? This is Y/N's baby shower and if you two mess it up-"

"Rafe?" you call, your voice desperate and weak.

He steps into view and you swear you can breathe again, just the sight of his blue eyes and untamed hair calming something deep in your chest.

"Hi, sweetheart," he smiles, and upon further inspection of you, his face falls, "Are you all right?"

You nod and smile in an attempt to convince him, but he shakes his head and starts over to you, charming every single female guest on his way. He says various 'excuse me's and 'thank you for coming's before he reaches you, squatting down in front of you and setting his hands on your thighs.

"What are you doing here?" you ask gently.

He hikes his thumb over his shoulder, "Boys had presents. Wanted to give them to you."

You look over his shoulder and spy Kelce and Topper at the counter, both smiling and waving when your eyes meet theirs.

"Ooh! Mimosas," Kelce grins, picking up the champagne, "Y/N, you don't mind if we stay, right?"

"We're not allowed," Topper hisses, but swipes a champagne flute full of orange juice and alcohol anyway.

You're relieved when you look around and everyone has made themselves busy with conversation, and when you look back down at Rafe, he gives you nothing but a reassuring smile.

"Rafe," you say quietly, tone warning him that you're about to request something.

He doesn't miss a beat, "Yes?"

"Please stay with me."

His eyes soften, the blue piercing your heart the way it always does. Without hesitation, he shoos Wheezie off the couch, then tugs the gift bag to the floor, pulling you into him the second he's seated.

"I'm sorry I left in the first place," he whispers in your ear, "I told Rose to keep it low-key."

You pull back from his embrace and give him a small smile, letting him press a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes flicker down to the elephant sitting on the other side of your lap, so you quickly tuck it back in the bag you pulled it from. While you're distracted, Rafe looks over at Rose and rotates his index finger in a circle, motioning for her to wrap this up. She nods and he relaxes, trusting her to take care of it.

Rafe keeps an arm wrapped loosely around you for the remainder of the baby shower, being the main spokesperson for 'thank you's' and laughs exchanged because he can tell you're exhausted and hanging on by a thread. After another hour, filled with little kisses from Rafe and multiple mimosas for Topper and Kelce, Rose gathers the crowd up and offers her living room to continue mingling.

Everyone files out slowly, including your mom, who promises to come back and check on you before she leaves. You sigh when the door shuts, collapsing into Rafe's chest like you'd just run a marathon. Topper and Kelce remain in the kitchen pouring champagne into three drops of orange juice.

"Y/N, guess what I bought for you!" Kelce demands, thrusting his champagne flute up in the air as if to say 'cheers'.

You turn your head and smile at him, "What, Kelce?"

"Actually, Maddie picked it out. She's so amazing, she hopped right on her phone and found it and I just couldn't believe it. I mean, she's so thoughtful-"

"For the love of God," Topper groans, "You're Rafe 2.0."

You chuckle and then close your eyes, relaxing into Rafe's body. He kisses the top of your head, then drags his lips down your skull and pressing them to your ear.

"Can you give me one sec?"

You nod and sit up, letting him escape from underneath you. He turns and watches as you cuddle back into the couch, while he hurries into the kitchen. Kelce thrusts a mimosa into his chest and smirks.

"I'll go keep your wife company," Kelce grins cheekily at Rafe, attempting to side step him.

Rafe pauses, only for a moment, and revels in the fact that you will soon be his wife. He loves the way that sounds.

"Leave my-" Rafe pauses before the word wife can slip out, no matter how much he wants to say it, "Leave her alone. She's exhausted. You guys need to take off."

"Bro, lighten up. Have a drink! We'll watch-"

"I'm not watching The Fucking Notebook," Topper cuts in, smacking Kelce on the chest.

"It's her favorite," Kelce frowns.

"Focus on your own girl, please," Rafe grunts, "I'll order an Uber."

Topper nods, downing the rest of his drink with one gulp, "We'll wait out front."

"I want to hang out with Y/N," Kelce frowns at Topper, who rolls his eyes.

"Come over tomorrow, both of you. We'll grill and everything. Y/N's been craving a burger anyway."

"Fine, I'll bring her favorite potato salad. Maddie will come too, if that's okay," Kelce says.

"That's fine. She loves Maddie."

"I'll bring the beer," Topper steps in, snagging a plate off the bar and filling it with snacks before he inches toward the exit.

"Thanks for coming, you guys," Rafe says.

Kelce breaks away from Rafe and hurries into the living room, setting his gift and Topper's on the coffee table in front of you and then laying a quick kiss to your cheek.

"Thanks for the present, Kelce," you call out, barely able to open your eyes.

"You got it, mama," he whispers, then rushes back into the kitchen and steals a cracker from Topper's plate.

The boys bicker while Rafe walks them out, all of them making promises about tomorrow before Rafe finally closes the front door. When he steps back into the living room, he smiles softly at you falling asleep on the couch.

He walks over and starts picking up tissue paper laying around on the floor and bagging it up, doing his best to keep the noise to a minimum. You stir and pull your eyes open just as he about finishes up, stumbling upon the bag with the elephant in it.

"Rafe," you call out, waving your hand aimlessly to try to grab him.

"Sweetheart," he says, then holds up the elephant when you open your eyes all the way, "What the hell is this?"

You grin and sit up, "Elliott loved it when he was a baby."

He furrows his eyebrows and scoots closer to you, "Who's Elliott?"

You laugh, reaching for his hand and finding it in your lap already, outstretched for yours.

"Doesn't matter. C'mere."

He smiles and slides onto the couch, looking around the room at all of the opened gifts waiting to be put in the nursery, along with the crib Topper and Rafe put together.

"Lots of loot, huh, baby?" he teases.

"Tons," you agree, "Let's open Kelce's."

Rafe leans forward and grabs the bag, then hands it over to you. You smile and remove the tissue paper, handing it to him without even realizing it and watching as he puts it in his garbage bag. You pull out the soft material your fingers wrap around, and when you see it, your eyes fill to the brim.

Kelce, or rather, Maddie, got a baby blue onesie with the words Little Cameron put on it. Rafe chuckles when he looks at it.

"That's cute," he says with a smile.

When he hears you sniffle, he tenses and shifts his body so he has a better view of your face. He frowns, pulling you closer to him.

"Oh, sweetheart, what is it?" he asks.

"It's cute," you say, voice thick, "So cute. And we're cute, and our baby will be cute, and our wedding will be cute, and- Rafe. We're not even married."

He tries to contain his sympathetic laughter as he sees your expression, cradling you only closer to him.

"Not yet," he corrects, "We can get married now, if that's what you want. Right now. I'll get your coat."

He smiles and attempts to stand, laughing fully when you grab onto his shirt and force him still. He plants a kiss on your forehead before he can even think twice about it.

"Not right now," you say, "As tempting as it is. Can't wait to be your wife."

He bites down on his lip to hide his smile, "Me neither."

"Open Top's," you demand, pointing to the other present on the coffee table.

Rafe leans forward and digs through the bag, peaking at the contents, then stuffing it back in without showing you. Your eyes follow the redness traveling up his neck and to his cheeks, swearing under his breath.

"What is it?" you question, sitting up with curiosity.

"Nothing, baby," he shakes his head.

"Come on, show me," you chuckle.

Rafe sighs and then thrusts the bag over to you. You dig through the bag the same way Rafe did, choking on your spit when you find a box of small condoms in your hand. Rafe scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Fucker," Rafe curses Topper.

You laugh, then lean over and kiss his cheek, "Stop. We'll have to give them away, they'd never come close to fitting you."

Rafe smirks, "You're right. Although, I'm never putting another one of those on again. If we have ten kids, I'm good with that."

"Rafe," you warn. He laughs.

"I think it's time for a nap. You're tired, which means he probably is, too," Rafe's eyes flick down to your stomach.

"A nap sounds perfect," you agree.

Rafe stands you up and leads you into your bedroom, tucking you in like a kid and giving you a quick kiss before he escapes the bedroom. He wraps up all the leftover food, organizes the gifts, and cleans up all of the leftover garbage. All while you rest, taking care of the baby he's desperate to meet.

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[fruitcoops]

Hi I first sent this ask a while ago but it was about how I always see fics with Remus first joining as a player and was wondering if you could write one with Remus FIRST FIRST joining as a PT? I dont want to bother you though!

Of course! I love some baby Loops content <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for minor injury

Remus was sure he was going to buzz right out of his skin. Or puke. Maybe both. Whatever it was, at least it would make an impression.

Not a good one, mind you. Just one that would make him unforgettable.

“Oh, god,” he muttered, clutching the sides of his binder as he turned down yet another linoleum hallway. The rink was too big; he was lost on his first day, his first hour, and he would be the laughingstock of the team for the rest of his—

“Hey!” Remus froze, then slowly turned.

A mixture of fear and relief flooded through him so fast he almost blacked out. “Mr. Moody, I’m so sorry I’m late—”

Moody waved him off. “Lost?”

“Well, not really. I mean, sort of, but not lost lost—”

“Kid.” Remus shut his mouth. His backpack suddenly weighed as much as an elephant. Moody gave him a once-over before clapping a broad hand on his shoulder and guiding him in the opposite direction, down a side hall with a shiny black sign labeled ‘Physical Therapy Offices’ and a little arrow. Dumbass. You walked right past it.

“I really am sorry about being late,” he tried again, nearly tripping over a ‘Wet Floor’ sign.

“Don’t sweat it. Happens to everyone.” Moody stopped short and gestured to two doors on either side of the hall. “My office, your office. Locker room is down there and to the right if one of those sweaty bastards breaks another bone. Oh, and Lupin?”

Remus’ throat seized for a moment. “Yes?”

“Don’t fuck with their superstitions.” His tone had new weight to it, and his eyes were shadowed with some far-off memory. Remus didn’t want to know what happened to the last person that broke the rule. The strange quiet lifted after another two seconds and Moody patted his back with the approximation of a smile. “Welcome to the Lions.”

Without another word, he marched into his office and shut the door with a decisive click. “Okay,” Remus murmured to himself. “Alright. You’re here, this is your office, you can do this. No big deal. It’s just your first real job.”

The pale wood of the door watched him, silent as the grave. Remus took a deep breath through his nose and carefully pushed it open.

It was certainly an office. Quite a normal one, actually, though Remus didn’t know what else he had expected. Clean and tidy, with an empty desk to one side and an examination table on the other. Whiteboards decorated a couple of the walls—all blank, of course—and the floor was the same linoleum as the rest of the rink. “Huh,” he said aloud. “Right, then.”

Remus set his binder and backpack on the desk and turned in a slow circle, soaking it in. It even smelled fresh, but the scent of bleach and lemon cleaning solution made him wrinkle his nose. I might need a candle. Hell, just some Febreeze would do.

He crossed the room and shut the heavy door with the same satisfying click as Moody’s, then immediately whipped around and pumped both fists in the air with a silent whoop of joy. “My office,” he whispered giddily. “My office, as the Lions PT, oh hell yes.”

The door flew open.

“What the fuck?” he blurted, spinning on his heel and only barely stifling a shriek.

The shorter man cocked his head in confusion. “You’re not Moody.”

“Remus Lupin, the new PT.”

“James Potter, winger.”

“Ow,” his friend groaned, still holding one hand over his eye.

Remus’ heart skipped a beat. “Oh my god, Sirius Black.”

Sirius grimaced and gestured in a vague wave. “Bonjour. I’m going blind.”

“You’re so fucking dramatic,” James sighed, sitting him down on the exam table with a roll of his eyes. “Loops, it really isn’t that bad.”

“…Loops?”

“Lupin, Loops, you get it. Can you please soothe the baby?”

Sirius glared at him through his good eye. “You little—”

“Tilt your head back,” Remus ordered as soon as he recovered from the shock of having a hockey nickname. His team had called him Moony, but Loops…he had to admit it had a nice ring to it. The idea of having a team nickname at all sent a thrill through every nerve as he pulled Sirius’ hand away and looked into his eye.

Pretty, was his first thought. The intensity of Sirius’ gaze on the ice had always amazed him, even through a TV screen—it was nothing compared to the real thing. Silver shot through clear blue-gray like filigree; it was bright as a star despite the redness. “Am I dying?” Sirius asked drily. “Cause you’re just a blur right now.”

“You’re not dying,” Remus assured him. “You might need eyedrops, though. What happened?”

“Pots is an asshole.”

James heaved another sigh. “Getting hit in the eye with a waterbottle lid I may or may not have loosened does not make me an asshole.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t—”

“Shut up, both of you.” A flash of fear slipped up Remus’ spine. I just told two of my heroes to shut up. Forget Sirius, I’m going to die. The room fell silent.

“Oh, I like him,” James said with a grin.

“You’re good to go,” Remus said after a moment longer. “I don’t have anything set up right now, so you should check with Moody and ask for those eyedrops.”

“Merci,” Sirius said as he stood and stretched, batting James’ hands away as they headed back out into the hall. “Don’t touch me, you cretin!”

“Oh, look at me, I use fancy French words,” James mimicked in a high voice.

“It’s not French, dumbass.”

Their bickering continued even after the heavy door closed, leaving Remus alone once again. His pulse raced. An hour into his first day of work, and he had already helped the team. Hell, he had helped The Sirius Black. “This is fucking insane,” he said aloud. “And it’s my job.”

He opened his binder and quickly flipped to the roster. They had some new faces this year and it seemed like half of them had lingering injuries he needed to memorize. Remus would have to know more than just their faces and medical history to make a difference, but he would get there eventually. Maybe it would take a while for them to warm up to him—maybe he would remain Moody’s minion for the rest of his tenure. He would never be part of the team, not really, but looking at that roster…

Well, he could almost believe he was one of them.

[readyandnot]

MILO GREER HBS 2022

reactions w/ the lovely @morgansplace <33

i’m r, morgan is m:

it’s a lot lol, we were excited

m- People's going wild

r- OOOOH HERE WE GO MILO I MISSED YOUUUU

r- i felt that unpacking thing rn Imao A BROKEN MAN

r- "fancy schmancy" milo ily

m- sacrilegious- SOCKS ARE SOCKS I'M USING FUCKING ELEPHANT ONES RIGHT NOW

r-HIS LAUGHHHH<33 YOU ARE MY MAN MILO

m- "Your man" GOOOOOOD HIS LAUGHHHHH

r- “you wanna repeat that shitstarter?" no-

m- No l don't-

m- WHAT THE FUCK MILO I LOVE YOU

r- HIS FUCKING CHANGE OF VOICE IM DEAD

r- “A WALKING TERROR I CALL A MATE" yeah sounds about right

m- HE'S SO FUCKING DRAMATIC

Yeah that's sweetheart

r- "i blame david" FOR YOUR DUMBASS LMAO

what if sweetheart is hiding them???

m- His laugh oh my fucking god

r- i'm just a simp for his laugh, that's saying

something

m-WE ARE, WE ARE

r-ASHER IS A LITTLE BASTARD BUT I LOVE

HIM OKAY

r-MAN WANTS HIS SOCKS

m-WE LOVE HUGS<333 OH MY GOD KISSES

r-THEYRE SUCH A MARRIED COUPLE

r-HE'S SO SOFTTT

"i wanna give you a kiss" MANNNN

m-YES THEY ARE

r-"hey there" HELLO HUSBAND, i mean milo-

*sweetheart reveals they’ve been hiding the socks*

r-I CALLED ITTTT

m- HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCKING SEER

m- he's so dramatic and that's hot

r-"i was about to have an aneurysm" that's me

on a normal basis Imao

HIS GROWLLLLS ALREADY???

m-I'M COLLAPSING

r- ILL PUT THEM ON FOR YOU i'm sorryyyyy

m- Oh I'm not

r- IT WAS FOR COMEDIC EFFECT MILO

r- aw only kisses?

m- “aw” FACTS

r- "i love you" MILO YOU HUSBAND MATERIAL

m-The whole channel is husband material

r- "piece of work" CALLBACK

"who i love more than life itself” ITS SO

SENTIMENTAL OMFG

“i’ll give you a spanking”

r-😳 do it-

m- please do, actually

r- “it's not like it'd be the first time"

AYOOOOOO

"or the last" i'm deceased

m- Oh My Fucking Satan

r- “damn sweetheart" DAMN MILO

WHEN DO YOU DRESS UP MILO GREER

his laugh jesus christ

m-Baby he could use a paper bag and I'll be like

OMG HOTTIE

I'm just

I'm just not here

r- “get you feeling some kinda way" OH IT

DOES

BUT YOU DO EVEN WITHOUT THE

CLOTHES-

m-OH MY GOD

r- omg his fucking dirty talk- his accent on “all omg”

m- HIS ACCENT IN GENERAL

r-“leather belts" yes please

i bet you like nice and slow-

IM NOT SORRY

r- “pull down with your teeth" oh FUCK

m-FUCKING SHIT

r- AND I THOUGHT ASH AND BABE WERE KINKY

m- LMAO THEY ALL ARE

DAVID AND ANGEL IN THE WOODS???

HELLO????

r- grinding yourself down on my fancy shoe"

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

r- behind your back with a soft silk tie"

OMGGGGG

m- THE SHOE LMAO

m- Oh my fucking god I'm screaming

r- “looking up at me with those pretty eyes"

FUCK-

m-PRETTY EYES:((<333

r- “naughty tongue" HES THE BEST AT DIRTY

TALK OMFG

m- OH MY FUCKING GOD-

m- YES HE IS Usually I don't like dirty talk But-

r- "you always know what to do" DAMN RIGHT I DO

m- MILO MOTHERFUCKING GREER

r-“lapping up every drop i give and you earn

every one of them" i'm dead

m- KISSES OMG

r- bury me in my grave HIS NOISES

m-we're done

r- WE’RE GONNA BE LATE BUT FUCK IT

m- DINNER IS NOT THIS IMPORTANT

Fuck it, they can have dinner another time okay.

r-"yeah you can touch" CONSENT <33HIS MOANS keep going" keep moaning damn

m-CONSENT IS THE SWEETEST AND SEXIEST

THING EVER

r- MILO.GREER. I LOVE YOUR BODY NOT LIKE LETS GET THAT STRAIGHT

m-I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

r-HIS GASPS IM SO-

"give me a squeeze" YPU DONT HAVE TO

TELL ME TWICE

m- GIMME A SQUEEZE AYUDA

r-"just like that" “more" OH MY FUCING GOD

m- OH MY GOD

YOU WANT ME HOW??? YES SIR

r- "i wanna strip you outa these clothes i want

you naked in front of me" fuck me-

m-YES YOU'RE A FUCKING GIFT FROM

HEAVEN

m-fuck it they don’t need us

r- " got a different kind of hunger" yeah me too

but that's obvious HIS GROWLSSSS

m- OH MY FUCKING GOD

m-BREAK THE B-

I'm fucking done

r-cause i sure fucking am"

m-OH MY GOD

r- “i’m gonna have you calling out my name so

loud they'll hear you in dahlia"THE WHISPERS

m-IM FUCKING DONE

*video ends*

r- NOOOOOOOO

m- no no no no

r- PATREON HAVERS YOU LUCKY MFS

m- FACTS

m- Milo Greer,

you’re invited to-

FUCK ME

don’t be late!

r- FR DONT EVEN NEED AN INVITATION

r-morgan

sam is next

HOW ARE WE GONNA LIVE

m-SAM'S GOING TO FUCKING BREAK ME I

SWEAR TO GOD

[rebelwrites]

Finest Hour

Jax Teller x Reader

A/N based on “finest hour” by Gavin DeGraw lyrics in bold

Is it really true?

All the stuff we did last night

We shut down the bars

Danced on top of cars

Asked some girl if she’d be my wife

It currently felt like an elephant was stopping on your head. Rolling over onto your front you buried your face into your pillow as the light from the sun was just too harsh. Hearing your best friend groan beside you, you knew she was feeling the same as you did.

“I can’t remember much about last night” you said softly but it came out as a mumble as your face was planted into the pillow still.

Luckily your best friend understood the language of mumbled and hungover. Turning your head to the side to face her.

“Girl we shut things down” Lexi smirked “I mean I’m sure you asked a blonde lad to marry you last night”

“Oh god” you groaned “please tell me I didn’t”

“Yeah you did I got this picture of you on one knee to him” Lexi said showing her her phone.

“Please kill me now”

“Hey at least he is cute” she winked “you never know”

Oh, and I got pictures that I don’t remember taking that are so bad

And, oh, I had to break into my own damn apartment

How bout that?

They say the best always come from the worst nights baby, but

Oh, it was crazy

And, oh, it was amazing

We blew all our money

And crashed in your Mercedes

Both you and Lexi were currently sat on the balcony of your shared apartment, sunglasses shielding your eyes, nursing a very strong coffee and cigarette hanging from your lips as you went through the photos of the night before.

“I can’t believe we had to break into our own place because you lost the key” You half laughed at your best friend.

“Who knew you could pick locks” she winked.

Leaning over the balcony, you caught a glimpse of the Mercedes your dad got you as a graduation gift. The black paint had bright pink streaks of spray paint down the sides alongside the front wing being buckled.

“I guess I best get that sorted today” you huffed “I don’t even like the car but Dad is coming down next weekend so I can’t let him see the car like this”

“We taking a trip to Teller Morrow then?” Lexi asked.

“I think so” you nodded.

Yeah, we both got numbers

But didn’t get the names

And my whole damn party lost power

It was, it was, it was our finest hour

“Girl why have you got a number written on your hip?” Lexi gasped as your hoodie rose up.

“What?” You shrieked looking down to see a number scrawled onto your skin with a permanent marker. “Whose number is it?”

“My bet is on the blondie” she smirked “you were quite cosy with him last night, like he did have his tongue down your throat quite a bit”

“Lex I can’t even remember the guy” you laughed, saving the number in your phone.

“Just text the number” she winked. “Now come on the tow truck is here”

“Let’s go waste some money on a car I hate” you laughed grabbing your phone and bank card.

Walking up to the office trying to find someone to sort your car. Little did you know the blonde you were getting steamy with was currently working on a car in the garage.

“Can I help you darlin’” the blonde asked looking up from the engine.

The words got stuck in your throat. You felt like you were choking on the air.

“Wait I know you” the guy smirked “I mean I write my number on your hip and I don’t even get a call or a text but now you are stalking me”

“Urm” you stuttered “er, I didn’t, I’m not”

“What my dumbass friend is trying to say is, she can’t actually remember you” Lexi laughed making you glare at her. “What it’s true”

“Y/N I thought I’d leave an impression” the blonde smirked “I mean I did have you moaning my name in the toilets and you kinda proposed to me”

“Oh shit” you said feeling your cheeks burned “I mean I remember that just not your name”

“Well I guess that’s a start” he smirked “it’s Jax by the way”

“Well Jax I need someone to fix my car” you said rubbing the back of your neck.

“I see you carried on the party after I left” Jax smirked draping his arm over your shoulder.

“Lexi, Chibs is around here somewhere” Jax winked.

“Sorry girl I’m dipping” Lexi smirked leaving you and Jax alone.

“I feel so embarrassed right now” you said looking at your feet.

“Well darlin how about I get someone to work on your car and we shall go get some breakfast” Jax smiled.

“Still doesn’t kill the embarrassment” you mumbled.

“Tell you what darlin’ let’s start a fresh, we don’t have to mention last night” Jax smiled “now what do you say to breakfast”

“Well I am starving” you giggled looking into them blue eyes “but you are paying boy”

SOA TAGLIST

@chibsytelford @talicat713 @corebore123 @nothingeverdies @teapartydreams @mrspeacem1nusone @khyharah @itmejado @beth-winchester21 @rocketqueen @auroraariza @trulysuccubus @haynsey @witching-hour @destynelseclipsa @edonaspanca @abbiesthings @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @jadesamhart @lady-pswrld @ly--canthrope @hennessyauntie @gemini0410 @i-love-scott-mccall @est11 @mystic-shadows42 @sugary-x-sweet @starrynite7114 @skyofficialxx @terminallygenius @lauraashley93 @leaalfred @angelreyesgirl89 @sheeshgivemeabreak @marquelapage @meteora-fc @penny4yourthot @justahopelessssromantic @ilikechocolatemilkh @mayans-sauce @xbreezymeadowsx @ben-c-group-therapy @-im-fantastic- @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @milaxmariex @cubblycie @little-diable @hotdamnhunnam @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead

[socheckitout-mikey]

you can totally make hc if you want!!!! i'd eat that shit up like breakfast ngl. in my opinion david is joe (kind of obvious) dwayne would be sal, marko would be murr and that makes paul q <3333

omfg yes! i had way too much fun doing these. i know they're a little shitty, but i tried istg! - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boys Pranking Each Other Like Impractical Jokers Hc's:

° I JUST KEEP IMAGINING DWAYNE AS SAL RUMMAGING THROUGH TRASH FOR HIS BIKE KEYS AND THEM LEAVING HIM DHDHDHR OR THAT TIME SAL HAD TO DIG THROUGH ELEPHANT CRAP TO GET HIS PHONE, ONLY ITS DWAYNE'S KEYS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN MARKO GOES "EH BUDDY LOOKIE ERE!" AND HE'S DANGLING HIS KEYS IN THE AIR "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU GUYS!" SHDHFJFJF

° Paul is deadass one of the most ruthless out of all of them when it comes to prank wars. He's targeting everyone with ridiculous pranks, but they always bite him in the ass later on when he wakes up the following night with his hair dyed a luminous green. He rocks it but he totally had a nervous breakdown over it bc "THAT'S MY FUCKING HAIR MAN!"

° "Maybe you shouldn't have thrown my keys into that gross guys hotdog stand-" David drawls nonchalantly, flicking cigarette ashes at Paul's green goblin looking head.

° There was this one time that Marko attempted to prank David, and I say attempt bc it went absolutely atrociously... Maybe it was because Paul was trying to get him back and gave his buddy too much of that good green stuff. Marko's plan to train his pigeons to crap all over David had ended up with him waking up the next morning covered in pigeon shit. "Serves you right, you yutz-"

° "Man, we need to drown you in the tub." Dwayne snorts.

° "DON'T BRING THAT SHIT UP-" Paul screams from the other end of the Cave.

° "Right... But it's not like we're adding a dog into the mix..." Marko muttered under his breath, using a crumpled old napkin to clean the literal crap off of his face.

° "I SAID SHUT UP!"

° Paul thought it'd be a good idea to drop rice to bug David, but it ended up with all of them counting the fallen grains of rice lmaoo. He kept losing count and everyone got different numbers.

° Honestly, the best one's at pranking people are Dwayne and David as they're very patient and thoughtful.

° David schemes like an asshole cat, striking when you least expect it. It leaves Paul and Marko on edge for months, just waiting for David to pull a prank on them.

° "C'mon man! Just prank us already!" Paul pleads, paranoia finally driving him up the walls.

° "Yeah, we're livin' in fear here!" Marko agreed suddenly.

° "You know, you just reminded me about that..." David's just kidding, though the other two don't know that. David forget something? Not a chance. This guy is on that Petty Train™ and it's going straight to Saltyville!

° Dwayne can take years to strike with his pay back. He's got patience that even David doesn't have, and honestly, Dwayne's pranks are really intense. He'll scare the shit out of the others so much so that they don't prank him for good long while. Paul's the one who never seems to learn lmaoo.

° Well, unless he's in the mood for being playful that is...

° Like I'm talking about the fact that after digging through elephant crap in the local zoo after hours for his bike keys, he not only chased down all of them, but he kinda tied Paul and Marko up and may've just let the sun rise a little... he's waiting for an apology- he's salty now and won't care if they burn... but once he get's that apology he's been wanting to here, he's pulled them into the shadows.

° "Ahhhhh! Dwayne, man, c'mon! The suns rising!" Paul screams, thrashing around in the sturdy chains he's been bound by the wrists at.

° Dwayne responds with an expression of total anger, but it's cool and collected. He's patient. He can wait a little longer. He's in no hurry.

° Whereas David's lounging on one of the dusty old couches in the shadows. He had given Dwayne what he wanted, whether his apology was half assed or not. He still said it with some meaning, right?

° "David didn't even mean that piece of garbage he called an apology!" Marko spat out, eye cracking a vivid yellow whilst he stared directly into David's blue amused eyes.

° "Well at least I had the courage to swallow my idiotic pride~" David sing-songed joyously, folding his nimble gloved hands behind his spikes of bleach blond hair. "And it worked wonders, didn't it? I'm not the one about to be fried into ashes..."

° "Man, we're sorry alright?! We won't fuck with your bike or your keys again!" They both screamed in unison, shutting their eyes tightly as the sun began to rapidly crawl into the open space of the Cave. It's golden rays beginning to spark the ends of their blond locks alight! That was precisely what Dwayne wanted to hear, and without little thought, yanks them down and watches them scurry into a deep crack in the wall. That'd teach them from fucking with his shit ever again.

° "Fuck, my hair! It's all burnt on the ends!" Paul wails, swatting the frizzy ends rapidly to put out the sparks.

° "That's literally the least of your worries, Paul." David retorted into the air, gathering himself up from the couch and towards his own nest.

° "Yeah, we almost got fucking fried you sack of shit! This is the last time I listen to your ideas-" Marko rambles on angrily.

° Yes, they did sleep curled up together in the crack in the wall. They genuinely held each other tightly, Paul waking up from nightmares! Poor baby :'(

° Marko definitely does listen to his ideas after that lmaoo.

° Also it's very true, these guys compete to embarrass each other out in public, so much so that they've pretty much become a star attraction.

° That is until that one time Marko drop kicked Paul off the Pier and cracked his skull open... Yeah, they got into a lot of trouble for that one...

° These guys are chaotic dumbasses and their prank wars a cynical as hell. Like it get's so intense, but it's hilarious! Star and Laddie are kept entertained for ages!

° They be pranking Laddie too, but it's all in good fun. He's a kid after all! They're not gonna be excessively mean to him. That is until he fucks with their shit...

° Then you've got Paul and Marko holding him up by the scruff of his jacket, demanding where their Playboy mags, bike keys, their specific wrench is, that Deff Leppard Tape... boy you name it! They'll interrogate him good cop bad cop style lmaoo.

° Dwayne's heart kinda warms up whenever Laddie pranks him. He ruffles his hair, even if it makes him mad as hell. Laddie is his weak spot tbh.

° David just gives Laddie a pointed look and goes, "This better not become a common occurrence, otherwise I'll have to shave your head."

° Lmaoo the absolute sass that he receives from Laddie after that djkgdsghjsd-

° Sometimes David allows Paul and Marko to get away with their stupid pranks on him. Although it's incredibly annoying, he also finds it endearing how happy getting away with some of the simpler ones makes them. Paul thinks he's literally gotten away with it, but Marko knows.

° Paul deems himself to be the Prank King™ and honestly he is, but you know what? He's usually quite good natured and even though he does overstep boundaries, he'll always make things up to everyone if it really bugs them. He's out to have fun, not get murdered or cause tears. Most of the time...

° He ropes Laddie in on the pranks and loves it! Paul is a great big brother! He also enjoys pranking Star quite a bit, and she can be quite mean when returning the favor.

° Marko however, plays the dirtiest! He's pretty cynical himself, so his sadistic nature comes out full throttle. The lines within him are blurred. He's genuinely good natured usually, but once someone does something that pisses him the hell off... They best be prepared for hell to arrive at their feet.

° Like this one time, Marko cock blocked Paul for several weeks lmaoo then he ate the person Paul had the hots for. He dropped them at his feet in the Cave like, "Whoopsie!" He got into so much shit from Max bc that person was like hella important, I'm talking celebrity status sfjdshfhjsdfnbds

° David's just cynical as hell and he's always got something witty to say during or after it. Definitely mocks them dsjgdsjfds David's just an asshole cat istg! I mean, not even Star is safe from his pranks, but he kinda has a sisterly soft spot for her. He likes to dig deep under her skin and bug her. She's quite fiery honestly.

° Pranks with the Lost Boys is incredibly chaotic to round it off.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: open!

[someguynamedstevewrites]

My Roommate is an Apparition: An Apparition A-Pink-ciation of Culture

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

From the diary of Lily:

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When I was little, I used to talk to my stuffed animals all the time.  They were my soft, cuddly friends who were always there for me, and even though they never spoke a word, I always imagined I could hear what they wanted to say.  Even as an adult, I still treat inanimate objects like they’re people too.  In fact, everyone does at some point or another in their adult life.  Anyone who has ever argued with their car that refused to start knows what I mean.

But recently, I realized that sometimes people can do... well the opposite. That sometimes we don’t treat people (who are actual, real people) like they’re people.  It’s not something we consciously think about, but it’s more like we forget that, well, people are people.  I know this sounds really dumb, but I felt like I needed to write about this after a... well after an “argument” I had with my roommate.

I’ve lived with my roommate for a few months now, and I thought I had gotten to know them pretty well.   They like to watch cartoons (like, seriously LOVES them) and we had worked out a TV viewing schedule to make sure that we got along together.  But the other day, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily treating them like they were their own person.  I didn’t mean to do that, but it just kind of happened, and...

...well it gets really complicated because, technically, they aren’t a person.

I mean, they aren’t human; they’re an apparition.

It made me think about all those stories about monsters and ghosts.  Like a ghost used to be human, but then they died, and their spirit became a ghost.  Do we still treat the ghost like the person they were when they were alive?  Outside of a few exceptions, the answer’s a definite yes.

But what about an apparition? It’s kind of like a ghost, but it’s not. I mean, it’s not the soul of someone who died or anything. They just sort of exist. (Would Slimer from Ghostbusters be an apparition or a ghost?).

------------

So anyway, reason I’m bringing this all up is because of what happened last weekend. I was channel surfing through the Cable Guide and as I’m flipping through, I pass by Boomerang (you know, the cable channel that spun-off Cartoon Network to hold all the older cartoons?) and all of a sudden, my roommate appears out of nowhere (literally) and practically grabs the remote out from my hands.

“Hey! What gives!?” I say to them.

They immediately change over to Boomerang and my TV screen is suddenly filled up with the color pink. At the same time, my roommate starts “doot-ing” along with the song and goes, “Doo-Doot! Doo-Doot! Do-Doot-Do-Doot-Do-Doot Do-Doot-De-Dooooooooo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doooot”. I have no idea what they’re doing, but then the cartoon starts up and it’s the Pink Panther.

Rhetorically, I go, “What’s this?”

“Pink... Panther...” my roomie says.

And then I make my first mistake by saying, “Huh. Never seen it before.”

Now if I had been paying attention to them, I probably would have seen the face of shock they were making. “You... NEVER... saw it!?” They gasped.

“Nope. Must have been before my time,” which was totally true. I mean, I later found out my Dad used to watch it when he was a kid. It wasn’t on TV when I was growing up. (Why am I defending myself for not watching a specific cartoon?)

Anyway, roomie asks, “Watch... with me?”

And then I, being a total dumbass, say, “Nah. Think I’ll get some dishes in,” before getting up and walking away.

If I had stayed put for just a few seconds longer, I would have heard them asking, “...please?” (In case you’re wondering, they told me about that later.)

------------

Yes, I hurt its feelings.  Yes, it was insensitive.  Yes, I am sorry.  But like I said, the thought didn’t even cross my mind back then.  As far as I knew, as long as my roommate had their cartoons, they were happy.  It didn’t occur to me that they cared about anything other than the cartoons themselves.

For the next week, my roommate made sure I knew, now and forever, that this was not true.

My first clue that they were mad at me was later that evening when I went to the living room to watch my usual shows.   It was my turn on the TV, and usually I have to pry my roommate away so I can watch what I want to watch. But that night, the instant I walked into the room, they changed the channel to what I wanted, put the remote down on the couch, and left the room without saying a word.  I thanked them, plopped myself down, and went straight into couch potato mode.

This should have thrown so many red flags in my head, but for some reason, it didn’t.  Maybe I was being too self-absorbed at the time? Maybe I was just tired and thinking, “Aww man, I gotta work tomorrow!”?  No matter the excuse, mistakes were made, and I started paying for them the very next morning.

My “haunting” kicked off with waking up to find most of my rock collection missing.  I have a particular affinity for pretty rocks and gems (I’m kind of a rock nerd) and have my favorites out on display.  But that morning, the only rocks that I could see were the pink ones.  Someone had pilfered almost every pebble from every pedestal to perturb me.   (I saw a chance for alliteration and took it! So sue me!)  I was still waking up and too tired to care about it at the time (me making excuses again) and had work, so I got ready to go and left.

Now I’m not sure how they did it, but my roommate did something to my car radio.   I turn it on and all I get are tunes by Henry Mancini.  Fifty percent of the time, it was the Pink Panther theme, twenty-five percent was the theme from A Shot In The Dark (I had to use Soundhound to figure out that one), and the rest was a mix of some of his other work.   It didn’t matter what station I tried changing it to!  Although I did learn that Mancini composed Baby Elephant Walk, so that’s something.

By now, I’d already figured out what was going on (roommate did it), but couldn’t really do anything about it because I still had work to go to.   As if the daily grind working at an art supply store wasn’t hard enough, I had to work while having the dang Pink Panther theme stuck in my head all day.  Not even the music that played over the store radio could get rid of it.  (Given the quote un-quote “music” they play over the speaker system, I eventually considered it a good thing.)

Then I came home, and that’s when things REALLY escalated.  First words out of my mouth after I walked in was, “Hey, I’m hoooOOOOOLY~!”  Every single wall in the apartment, from the living room, to the kitchen, to the bedroom, and even the bathroom...

PINK!

All of them were painted PINK!

Like strawberry frosted doughnut pink!

As I’m gawking at the interior design sugar rush nightmare, out walks my roommate from around the corner.  Immediately, the first thing I noticed was that they had feet. (Normally, they don’t have feet; they just kind of “hover” or “emerge from the ground” or something.) They had their eyes closed, head held up, and made a point of showing off these noodle legs they had constructed by skipping every other three steps.

They were doing the Pink Panther shuffle.

They walk out of my line of sight and I run over to have a word with them, but by then they disappeared.  I look around and all I see is more and more pink.  From behind me, I hear a mix of snickering slash wheezing.  Like you ever hear of this cartoon dog named Muttley?  They were laughing like him.  And of course, I turn around, and the only thing I see is more pink!

------------

I knew that my roommate could be ornery at times, like that time I tried to get an idea of their daily routine by setting up a webcam, but this...

I mean, where did she even get the paint?  (Upon reading back here, I realized I referred to them as a ‘she’ even though I’m not sure if they are a ‘she’ or not.  Yeah, I can edit it to a more neutral pronoun, but something tells me I ought to point this out instead of editing it, for some reason.)

I was half tempted to get back at them by painting the walls back to their original color (they do sell paint by the gallon where I work, and I get the employee discount), but realized they’d just paint(?) the walls pink again.  Like I’d turn around after thinking I finished only to find the work I did completely undone.  I could just picture my roommate doing that and finding it hysterical.

Anyway, tacky as the pink walls were, I didn’t get too angry about them.  For starters, my lease agreement said that I couldn’t paint the walls without landlord approval.  But my lease agreement also acknowledges that my apartment may be haunted.  If the landlord ever brought it up, I’d just tell them the “ghost” did it.  Second, these pranks my roommate was pulling were kind of amusing and didn’t really bother me that much.  (I mean sure, I wanted my rock collection back but I doubted my roommate would have thrown them away.  They know how much they mean to me.)

The one thing I was putting my foot down on was that I wasn’t going to ask my roommate what was wrong.  I got the hint, sure, but I wanted them to know that if something is bothering them, they need to, y’know, actually say something instead of leaving spooky pink clues.  They were being a butt, and my hope was that when they saw how much the pink wasn’t bothering me, then they’d finally open up.  This went on for about a week with me going about my daily routine only to be surprised by the occasional pink interruption.

Like on Wednesday, I go to the fridge to get something to drink, and all I find in there is Pink Lemonade.  It actually wasn’t that bad, but I have no idea how my roommate actually got it given that they never leave the apartment.  Thursday, I get a notification saying a package arrived, and find my roommate used my debit card to order the entire Pink Panther cartoon series on DVD.  And earlier on Tuesday, I got a call from my landlord asking if I knew why someone had called in an order, in their name, to have Owens Corning insulation installed.  In case you weren’t aware, that’s the pink insulation who has “you can guess who” as their mascot.

------------

So, Friday rolls around, and by now, the entire apartment is pink.  Like EVERYTHING.  The furniture, the electronics, the toilet, the sink, the appliances, the TV, and everything in between has been made pink somehow.  I’m not sure who out there still makes pink toilet paper, but apparently my roommate has either some special powers I don’t know about yet, or they got connections.

At this point, since my roommate had yet to approach me about “The Pink-ening”, I began playing the reverse-psychology card.  I came home and got to making dinner.  While some of this was a bit more expensive than what I usually spend on food, I figured it was worth it if it meant getting my roommate to talk to me.  My menu included delicious smoked pink salmon, some crab linguine with a nice amount of pink to it for a side dish, and some mashed red potatoes that turn out nice and pink if you got the right recipe.  To wash it down, I picked up a glass of pink lemonade from the fridge, and in the freezer, some strawberry sorbet.

I get down to eating at my pink table, with a pink wooden chair, pink napkins, pink silverware, pink glass of pink lemonade.  It took a little more effort to put this together, but I made an exaggerated point of showing off how good this pink meal was and how much I was just enjoying all this pink.

About halfway into my meal, I get a feeling that someone’s standing behind me.  It’s hard to put into words how you know someone’s there especially since my roommate doesn’t really eat or breath.  It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck become sensitive like cat whiskers and can just... feel that someone’s there.  Usually sends a chill down my spine when that happens, but this time, I was ready and waiting for it.

“Care to join me for dinner?” I say without turning around.  If I had, they probably would have vanished on me again like they had been doing all week.

“Looks... good...” they say in their ever so familiar by now raspy voice.

“Got something you want to talk about?” I ask between bites.  There’s a brief pause as my roommate thinks to themselves.

“...yes,” they finally answer.

“Okay.  Pull up a chair!  It’s been a while since we just, y’know, talked and stuff,” which was true.  

The instant I said that, I realized that even before the “week of pink” began, we hadn’t spent a whole lot of time together outside of our usual TV time.  I had long since figured out that my roommate wanted me to watch Pink Panther with them, but I just thought they wanted to show it to me to show off how (subjectively) good the cartoon was.  Only then did it hit me that they wanted me to watch it with them because they wanted to watch it together with me.  It was like they were hoping for some roommate bonding time or something like that.

Now, it wasn’t like we weren’t talking to each other before this.  I greeted them whenever I saw them, and let them know whenever I came home or was leaving. but we hadn’t actually talked, like... “talk-talk” in a few weeks.  Instead, the conversations over the last few weeks were like the kind of conversations a person would have with their pet cat or pet dog.  Like you’d talk to them, but not really expect an answer from them.

I had been treating her like a pet more than a person.  (Did it again!  I’m thinking I’ll ask them later what kind of pronouns they’d like me to use, or if they’ve even given any thought towards gender or anything).

My guess is that my roommate picked up on this themselves, and just like a disobedient pet who is bored, lonely, or other, they made a mess of the place.  Maybe they were thinking that if I was going to treat them like a pet, they would act like one too?

Of course, I didn’t mean to treat them like that.  I don’t think anyone really does mean it when they do.  It just kind of happens without thinking about it.  The whole reason I’m writing this down here in you, diary, is so that I can make a mental note slash reminder to be careful of doing that kind of thing.  It’s especially important to remember when interacting with other people, like my co-workers or the store customers.  (Unlike my roommate, they can’t get on my case by making my entire apartment pink.)

------------

Now where was I?  Oh yeah, our talk.  I think I remember the most important bits of it.  It went something like:

“So, whaddya wanna talk about?” I ask between bites of food.

“Pink...” they say to me.  I wait a moment, expecting them to say “panther” after that, but it when it doesn’t arrive, I step in.

“Yeah!  Pretty amazing what you did with the place!  I didn’t know things could even get this pink!” which was one-hundred percent true.

“...Thank...you...” they say with a smile.  I can tell that was not the answer they were expecting as I could have swore they turned and blushed.  Although I couldn’t tell because of how pink everything else was.

“Although,” I add, “I don’t think the landlord is going to like the apartment being this pink.  If it stays like this, they might kick me out.  And we wouldn’t want that, right?”

Now my roommate, the apparition, actually looks shocked for a moment.  The thought hadn’t entered their head, and for a moment, they looked a little scared.  “N-n-n-no...” they stuttered.

“Well, I’m sure together, we can get this place back to the way it was before the next time they have an apartment inspection.  Whenever that is,” I reassure them.

“Yeah...” my roommate nods.

“Say I got some time off this upcoming weekend.  Want to watch some Pink Panther with me?”  (Oh my God, you should have seen the smile on my roommate’s face when I asked this.)  “I see I have the DVD collection now, apparently,” I say with a wink, “and we can even watch the movies together too.”

“...movies?” they ask.

“Yeah, the Pink Panther was a movie first before it became a cartoon.  It was a live-action movie, but... well some of it’s like a cartoon here and there.  Lots of slapstick comedy that I think you might like.”  They were practically beaming and agreed immediately.  

After Friday’s dinner, we watched some of the cartoons (which are actually pretty funny) and for the upcoming weekend, we’re doing a Pink Panther movie marathon with cartoons mixed in to spice it up.  I also found out that my roommate doesn’t just watch the cartoons, but actually knows a thing or two about them.  Like how Friz Freleng, one of the directors and creative minds behind the original Looney Tunes cartoons, was involved in the Pink Panther’s creation along with a new studio after he left Warner Brothers.  I don’t know how my roommate came to know so much, but it’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I got me some sweet, pink treats to snack on during the movie marathon.  The apartment is still pink as can be, but my roommate said they’ll take care of it once the marathon’s over.  Exactly HOW they plan to take care of it, I have no idea.  Oh well.  No use pinking too hard about it.

(HA!)

[a3theatrejunkie]

Don’t be silly Wrap your Willy!

Hanasaki Private Academy, St. Flora Middle School, and Ouka High school Students have to take care of a baby for a school project. For more context look at this post

Hanasaki Private Academy- They got robot baby dolls

St. Flora Middle School- They got Eggs. Each of the eggs have the St. Flora logo printed on it to prevent students from 

Ouka High School- Got bags of flour to be made into a baby,just random bags of flour.

SPRING TROUPE-  

Masumi is doing pretty well with the baby, she doesn’t cry much.(That’s because you have your headphones in. dumbass.) He gets a full nights sleep too. (That’s because Tsuzuru is usually up and takes care of her out of habit.)Tries to get the director to marry him this way. “Please. I’m a single father. My daughter needs a strong role model.” “Her name is Izuumi. Get it? It’s our names put together.” He and Sakuya talk about their children like their real.

Sakuya is baby and now he has a baby too. His child’s name is Romeo, he couldn’t think of anything else. He has a realistic experience with the baby, late night feeding, baby crying during rehearsal, and struggling to budget with a new member. Grows attached to the baby fast, his own little baby, his family. Doesn’t want to seem rude but gets nervous when other members of  Mankai holds his baby. “O-okay but take his burp cloth! and make sure his neck is supported. A-and!....” “Sakuya I’ve got like 12 younger brothers.” He cried when the assignment was over.

Itaru “Can we get an ‘F’ in the chat?” He remembers having one of those robot babies,their annoying and cut into his free time. Apparently you can use a strong magnet to mess up the sensors and get an easy A. Haphazardly holds the babies to play video games, He’s never been asked to hold the babies since.

“Sakuya...Masumi...” Tsuzuru worries about him getting too attached to the baby and Masumi using the baby to flirt with the director. Gave both of them some old baby clothes so they wouldn't have to buy any.

Citron loves the new members of the Spring troupe! He gives... interesting advice. “Do not worry! I’ve helped over a thousand woman and a thousand elephants give birth!” :D

SUMMER TROUPE- 

Yuki made cute little clothes for his egg and carries it in an equally cute basket. He was actually excited for this project so he could practice making children clothes but unfortunately St. Flora gave them eggs instead of the dolls. His child is named Omelette, because that’s what’s their gonna be after the project is over. While creating a budget as part of the care assignment spent over $400 of clothing. 

Muku keeps forgetting his egg everywhere he goes, he’s doing his best. His egg has a little crown on top of their head. The eggs name is Endymion, he’s gonna grow up to be the best prince ever. A some point  he forgot where his egg was and accidentally knocked it off his desk. It broke. Muku cried, the Summer troupe held a funeral and the egg prince is buried in the Mankai courtyard. He didn’t fail since he completed all the budgeting, and other sidework that came with the project but lost a good chunk of points.

Tenma is adjusting. “Why can’t I just hire a nanny? It’s in my budget.” “Well what are the chances you’ll actually become a famous actor?” “???....?!...?!?......” Anyway he hates having to carry this stupid bag of flour, the paparazzi is gonna have a field day with this. Named his child Tenma Jr. and he’s also gonna become an actor. Tenma practically spent all of his budget on luxury items, designer clothes, foreigner cars, and a million dollar house. Forgets about utilities, “What the hell is rent???”  Not adjusting well. Doesn’t help that Yuki calls his child, Hack Jr.

Kazunari- LOL! He remembers having to do that when he was still in grade school. He ‘Babysits’ while the younger actors are working or doing a scene. He’s the best uncle ever! #Blessed💖💖💖💖 Offered to redraw the ST. Flora logo onto a store bought egg when Muku’s broke, but Muku’s an honest prince, so he and Yuki decorated a coffin for the funeral.

“Poor Muku, You’re egg broke but it became a bunch of mini triangles!” Misumi didn’t help much. 

AUTUMN TROUPE-

Surprising or not, Sakyo is the most serious about the assignment. “Children are expensive and time consuming.”  Whether It’s a bag of flour or a robot doll, Sakyo makes the students of Autumn troupe take proper care of the children.He helps the students that need to make budget though.

“Hyodo if you don’t get get you child off the damn floor i’m calling your school and reporting you for Negligence.”

“I don’t know Nanao, are you gonna pay me to watch your child?”

“SETTSU!??! YOU CANNOT TAKE YOUR CHILD APART!”

Worst Grandpa ever

Omi is a little more helpful, but he agrees with Sakyo that this is an important assignment. While in school he totally bombed the assignment, but as an ex- delinquent he’s seen a few people start families waaaayy too young, It’s very stressful. Doesn’t want that for any of the Autumn Troupe. He’s willing to hold onto to the babies free of charge. Nice Grandma, probably gonna turn her grandkids into dinner

Taichi is already on thin ice with his school, he turned his flour baby into a monster child,(Ya know the little monster character he’s always drawing)

“Haven’t you seen Alien?!?!?”

Now he has the struggles of raising an alien child as a single father in highschool. “His name is Zognoid XJ-9″ 

It was fun at first for Banri, a new challenge approaches, but now the Baby is cutting in on his gaming time and what ever else it is he does. It hard to be a tough guy when your carrying a doll around. Considered taking out the batteries, but if Sakyo found out he’d fail the project. His baby is named Majima.

Juza was kind of excited for the project, maybe it would make him seem less intimidating, but no, it seems he’s gotten into more fights due to this sack of flour than before. No matter he’ll project this baby with his life, he calls her pudding. All was well until fuckin’ Settsu started calling his daughter a ‘cocaine baby’ Juza threw a few insults back and Banri punched him...in the baby. Flour went everywhere. Juza saw red. He grabbed Banri’s babydoll and though him outside into the street. People saw. Thought it was a real baby. The police were called. Sakyo had to call in A LOT of favors and explain it was just a doll. Both him and Settsu nearly failed and got chewed out by Sayko for almost ruining the companies image. 

They had separate funerals, once again buried in the Mankai court yard

BONUS! WINTER TROUPE-

Tsumugi thinks its great the kids are learning responsibility and that childcare is no joke. Brought flowers to the funerals.

“Oh! THE WOAHS OF CHILDREN, BUT THE LOVE OF A LITTLE JOY YOU TAKEN INTO TO YOUR SOUL.” Homare find this amusing and inspirational. He remembers his egg project and how- blahblahblah. Gave nice loooooong eulogies during all the funerals.

Azuma thinks it’s funny, he’s old so he never had to experience the baby project. Although the sight of seeing these new families makes him a little sad. Better drink some sake.

Tasuku “What the fuck is wrong with y’all.”

 Hisoka I’m Sleep.

[xpeachesncream]

JUST READ ALL OF “LOWKEY” (atleast all that you have written and published) AND OMG ITS SO GOOD my feelings are kinda hurt though ngl

Also you did really good at writing the “popular girl” cause usually she’s kinda mean and not good in school (though y/n did get what i would call average grades) but i was really nice in this one so this is definitely gonna be considered one of my favorites under the popular girl and nerd trope cause i read a lot of those

but let’s discuss the elephant in the room.. i’m so close to popping some since into jungkook like DAMN i thought we had something good but he’s not a total douchebag i have some hope he’s gonna fix his attitude

overall rating 11/10 you did so good baby !!

should i send this anonymously.. nah babe needs to know who they’re #1 supporter is obviously

hi baby! oh you are the cutest thing 🥺 thank you so much for your sweet words, and for your support, it really means a lot!!! 💞 i'm happy you could enjoy the series and how it's played out so far, i tried to make it as relatable/realistic as possible. sending you hugs though, 😭 i know the past chapter or two wasn't fun since jungkook wants to be a dumbass LOL he needs to get some sense popped into him.

thank you again sweet love!! appreciate you!!

[steveusesfaberge]

Better Parent (pt. ii)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Summary: The kids have their loving mother and...uhh...other mother...take them to the Wheelers’ house; an advice filled car ride later - and some quality time with his favorite girl.... and it ends with a shifty scheme crafted by only the best intentions, and two teens not doing the babysitting they were assigned to do...wonderful. Sounds just like another day for Harrington!

Type/Style: Imagine, female pronouns

Warning(s): Fluff~, momma Steve, heed all warnings… Oh, and a bit of cursing! >.<

Word Count: +4,100

a/n: The is part two to Better Parent and with that being said, I hope you all enjoy!

Part 1 - Part 2 (you are here) - Part 3

Please send requests! I’m excited to write for you all! <3

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“Hey--”

“Move over, your ass is in my lap!”

“Hello?”

“What?! You're practically in my seat!”

“Is anyone even listening to--”

“Stop it guys - don’t push!”

“Hey! Dickheads! Would you all quit it? Goddamn, why didn’t one of you go with Y/N like she suggested?” Steve growled while trying not to crash the car. The boys had all decided they’d tumble into his car...leaving a party of three merrily skipping to the other teenager’s car...it wasn’t like there was anything wrong with it! - Y/N’s car was actually quite nice; she took care of it and even had a better radio than Steve...

“Because then we’d be alone with all that estrogen...not happening, Harrington,” Lucas spoke up while giving Mike a hard shove to his side. Will was groaning in annoyance as his friends jostled him to be pressed harshly to the car door. While Dustin happily was messing with the stereo (when he’d called shotgun - and Steve allowed it, Y/N had claimed it was ‘favoritism amongst their six babies who she, as the better parent, loved equally. Thus, no one would be sitting passenger in her car. Steve figured that’s why none of the boys wanted to go, being squeezed between El and Max might not be ideal...though Harrington knew better. Y/N liked playing her own music, and with a grubby hand like Dustin’s all over the radio - her rule had been set long before she became a mom).

“Mhm, sure,” Steve grumbled while rubbing his temple, already regretting agreeing to this. It wasn’t like it was a long ride back to Mike’s house - but goddamn did these knuckleheads make it feel like it... “Tell me that again when you’re not off sucking faces with Max,” the older boy was praised with ohs and ahs as he snapped the remark at Sinclair.

“At least I have a girlfriend,” Lucas defended, earning his own audience of noise.

“A-hahhhh, and what the hell is that supposed to mean, asshole?” Steve jabbed while resting his elbow on the rim of his window, it had been rolled down because all the movement in the car had it feel like a damn sauna. Dustin was still messing with his radio, flipping channels and making the music louder when Steve had specifically told him to turn it down. He slapped the said boy’s hand away and scolded him briefly,” Hands off, Henderson - how many times do I have to say it? It’s distracting me - do you want to die?” He exhaled slowly, trying not to pull the car over and kick each out to the side of the road. Either having to walk the rest of the way or ask Y/N.

“I mean - I have the balls to even kiss a girl - or are you and girly Henderson dating without us knowing?” Lucas drilled, earning a head nod from Mike, and an eye-roll from Will who just wanted to get to the house (he was more interested in DnD than how poorly Steve’s love life was going).

Steve abruptly stopped the car. He heard Y/N slamming on the breaks, a honk of her horn and the muffled sound of her cursing him off for such a dangerous stunt. He ignored it though, deciding to deal with the consequences later. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone behind Y/N to backend her (he wasn’t dumb enough to do such a thing with precious cargo...).

“What? You know how many girls I’ve kissed? How many I’ve made out with? Huh? Do you forget who I am?” He wiped his chin and shook his head with a defensive blush finding his face. He took a breath in and exhaled with a more composed manner. He tried to ignore the way the boys in the back held their laughter in, and definitely, decided to ignore the way Dustin watched them all in confusion (dumbass didn’t even see the way Steve looked at his sister).

“Me and Y/N...are not a thing. We’re not together, we’re not a couple, we’re not an item,” he drawled while shaking his head. After a few moments of silence, the boys clearly conflicted on to continue laughing or feel bad for the way Steve’s tone dropped off at the end of his sentence.

He started down the road again, both hands gripping the wheel tightly; his eyes never leaving the windshield. His ears painted pink.

“You...you guys know this,” he mumbled while shaking his head once more, flipping Y/N off in his rearview mirror.

“I know but--,” Mike was cut off with a soft sigh from Harrington.

“I-I can’t. Okay? Is that what you wanna hear from me? That...that I know I’m not good enough for her? That...I’m scared if I told her, she’d swallow me whole and I’d never be able to look her in the eyes?” The desperate drag of his tone was obvious (maybe Y/N was right; he’d stooped to King Steve level of desperation...not for other girls...but...to just get a chance with her...anything...anything...he’d do anything).

The rest of the ride was filled with the boys in the back, coming up with love advice for Steve. Ask her out, just do it - be confident! Write her a letter. Tell her she looks nice. Ask her if she wants a boyfriend. Tell her she’s hot. Oh, what about showing her-- they’d reached the Wheeler estate and as they began unbuckling and getting ready to leave the car (thank the Lord, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take), and Dustin - who had been silent the majority of the ride finally spoke.

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.” He sputtered while his eyebrows furrowed in utter shock and confusion.

Steve rolled his eyes, and pushed his door open, calling over his shoulder,” I like your sister, dude. We’ve established this like....thirty-six times. Catch up, dipshit.” All embarrassment he had earlier had washed away, being replaced with a bubbling feeling of nerves and doubt. The boys were trying to be nice, do their best...but...they were all awkward preteens...their advice was as good as Steve consulting a Magic 8-Ball.

Inside the house, before trucking to Mike’s basement - Dustin dragged Steve to the kitchen, his mind still trying to figure out what had been revealed (or more so, finally brought up as Steve’s feelings for Y/N had always been the weird, pink-polka-dotted elephant in the room).

“What’re you doing? - They’ll start without you--,” Steve was hushed as Dustin slapped his hand to his mouth.

“My sister?” Dustin whisper-shouted. Steve rolled his eyes for the nth time and tugged Henderson’s grip from his face.

“Yeah, dingus - we’ve been over this--,”

“But my sister...Steve...why?” Dustin wasn’t sure how he felt about it clearly, and it only made Steve more nervous. That feeling that sunk into his bones, not a good one. Of course, if he were going to date Y/N...he’d need his best friend’s (and favorite child’s) permission.

“Whaddya want me to say! She’s like...the only girl I hang out with that’s my age, besides Robin, that I don’t mind,” Steve paused,” Might I remind you - Robin’s not into dudes.” It was almost sad how his social life had crumbled along with his desire to capture anyone else’s attention but Y/N’s (and of course, he’d tried to push those feelings aside for the sake of your friendship...but...it never worked).

Dustin was quiet; longer than Steve would’ve liked, as sitting in the soft silence was nervewracking. The curly-haired sibling stood, arms crossed, eyes clouded with thought as he rubbed his chin. Steve tapped his foot, leaning on the kitchen countertop as he waited, pinching the bridge of his nose. God, this kid’s such a headache...

“Dusty - Will told me, to tell you, that if you don’t go down now, you’ll be left out,” Y/N was just turning the corner when she spotted the pair in the kitchen, seeming as if they were in quite the predicament. 

“Is this a private moment...or?” she spoke slowly, a tease to her words.

“N-No! I was...just...telling Steve that...um...,” his attention now on the older boy who had a hand ruffling through his hair for any imperfections (though who was he kidding? Harrington had the best head of hair in Hawkins).

“I was telling him if he doesn’t do it...I’ll...be disappointed...guy stuff,” Dustin gave Harrington a sincere half-grin and there was obviously a conversation to be held later (but Y/N’s appearance lead Dustin to keep his mouth shut for now).

“Really?” Steve asked, his brows raised as he took the boy’s words in.

“Yeah...yeah...just...don’t do something weird in front of me,” Dustin lowered his voice as he spoke the last bit.

“Alright, enough bro-talk, Dusty - get going and leave the adults to talk.” Y/N rolled her eyes; ruffling his hair as he passed by.

It was just the two of them, and Steve was trying not to do something stupid. Walking forward, he felt his body involuntarily tense up as she moved to stand a few feet from him - though a few feet was more than enough to render his mind as blank as all hell. His body completely useless now...

Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do something stupid....

“Did you want to do something while they messed around? Like catch a movie or--,” Y/N was interrupted by the blubbering fool before her.

“Your letter - uh, looks nice -- I mean, it looks hot! No - wait...that...that didn’t come out right.” Steve’s outburst granted an unsure look from her. Please just kill me now...did...did I say that? Well...all logic had found its way out the nearest fucking window...

“What?” Was all Y/N said while waiting for Steve with furrowed brows.

He covered his eyes, his free hand waving around for a dazed second as he tried to get the proper words out. Breathe...be natural...be confident....don’t fuck it up like that again, Harrington.

“I meant to say - you look nice,” he paused,” And to answer your question, why don’t we just go down and um...finally settle the score?” That...was...better.

Y/N shrugged, nodding as she reached for his hand. At that moment, Steve’s heart flatlined and he was sure he was now staring at an angel as she dragged him across the house, to the basement. “Sounds good - be prepared because momma ain’t leavin’ without her babies’ approval,” Steve could only nod to the back of her head as she spoke such fighting words.

If you asked Steve Harrington at the beginning of high school - what he thought about spending his free-time with six underaged dweebs who all were too smart-assy for their own good, and got themselves in trouble with hell (literally)...he’d have laughed and told you, you were as delusional as Byers.

If you asked the Steve Harrington the same question now - he’d look around at the six underaged dweebs shouting and arguing around a table laid out with character sheets, figurines, and dice... He’d laugh at their quick remarks and their tendency to use foul language, and he’d smile. Steve would’ve congratulated Byers’ brother for being the best Dungeon Master, the world had to offer.

If you told him, roughly five years after high school - he’d be seated on a busted sofa, in his ex’s basement, coke loosely held in one hand, the other pushing a pretty girl’s head away from him in a teasing manner...he’d...well..he’d not believe you. Because you’d describe the girl as someone so...amazing, so incomparable, that he’d think you’d made her up. You’d say that she was so breathtaking, that if you were in the same space as her for too long - you’d die from a lack of oxygen. That she had the most stunning y/c/e eyes he’d ever have the perquisite of seeing, and they’d have him chasing her for ages...having him choke on his own spit when she looked at him. Not to mention, the heartstopping laugh she’d have...the kind of laugh that had any guy (not just dorky Harrington) fall harder than he thought possible. Finding himself in an endless fall that put even Alice’s rabbit hole tumble to shame. She’d have a melody that had him trip over his words and stumble to find his footing. Yeah...Steve would not have believed you.

And yet, here he was...watching six dweebs play Dungeons and Dragons; with a girl he was madly in love with - more perfect than words could offer, sitting on a busted sofa, in his ex’s basement, no more than a foot between them...

“I’m tellin’ you, Steves - I’m the better parent, because the girls love me, and the boys worship me,” Y/N explained while pulling an L up to her forehead. Steve scoffed and waved her off.

“Actually - I don’t worship you, I worship Steve for giving me his hair secre--,”

Steve began snapping with his left hand, shaking his head and glaring. “Hey, hey, hey! Shithead - you swore on your life, you’d never say jackshit about that!” Dustin threw his hands out in silent defense.

“Sorry, I was just standing up for y--,” Steve shook his head once more, blowing him off with a puff of his cheeks. “Remember what I said? One peep - and your ass, yeah the one you’re sitting on now, is grass, Henderson. Grass.”

The gang began laughing at Steve’s overprotective outburst of his “best feature”. The brunette only tsked, mumbling obscenities.

“That wasn’t very better parent material, Steve,” Max snickered while El whispered something in her ear.

“Aye! No whispering under my watch - if you have a secret, you can say it aloud in front of the family,” he stressed with fake authority.

“But you just told Dustin--,” “Eleven - I don’t need a smartass.” Steve pursed his lips.

The kids eventually settled back down, getting sucked into their fantasy world once more without a second glance to the pair on the sofa. Y/N was clamping a hand to her mouth, trying not to let the amusement slip from her lips. She loved seeing Steve with the kids - he was so....dorky and sweet in his own way...saying so, she could almost admit she loved h--

“What’re you laughing at, Ms. Not-the-best-parent-because-you-suck-and-don’t-have-great-ass-hair?” Steve hissed in a low tone. His eyes watching the way Y/N’s flickered with happiness and one emotion he couldn’t quite place.

“You’re wrong for two reasons, Harrington,” she mused.

“Enlighten me,” he replied, leaning to have only a few inches between the two of you. It had been on a fleeting moment of confidence, leaving Y/N with a bright red glow - and Steve with a dumb grin. He wasn’t sure if he was proud of it, or extremely embarrassed...he settled to let her finish instead.

“Well, one: you’re not the better parent. I am,” Y/N pinched his cheek, to which he tried to back out of, but she only squeezed harder, leaving Steve to let out a grievance of annoyance as she tugged him back to listen.

“And two: your hair isn’t that great. I mean--” Steve gasped in a dramatic hurt. Falling from her grip and bending over her lap like a speared body. “Stop! Right there, don’t finish that sentence...you’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for.” he pleaded. His tongue sticking out his mouth as if he’d ‘died’.

Y/N giggled watching his childish act and rolling her eyes, a good-natured smile on her lips. She brushed a hand through his hair and spoke in an exaggerated tone,” I’m so sorry, Steves, please forgive--,” in the time of her talking, Steve had lifted a hand and silenced her with the odd hand-motion that looked like a duck, then grabbed her wrist and removed her hand from his scalp.

“You don’t get the privilege to touch my great ass hair, even if I’m dead.” He mumbled, stifled by her lap. Even though in actuality, he loved the feeling and knew if she didn’t stop he’d fall asleep.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Y/N proclaimed while attempting to shove the limp body of Steve Harrington from her own. “Nuhu,” he murmured.

Watching the two teenagers fall all over one another, the six children held back their gags.

“It’s so sad,” Max mumbled.

“Yeah, so sad I can’t focus on this raid,” Lucas agreed while knocking his head against the table.

“It’s like watching two blind...like very blind bats try, and make love.” Mike spewed.

“Thanks for the visual,” Will snorted.

“I think it’s sweet.” Everyone looked to El as she shrugged with a sheepish look.

“What? Steve...he likes her. Why is that bad?” She grabbed Mike’s hand. “I like Mike. Mike likes me - why is Steve and Y/N any different?”

The idea hit them like a ton of bricks...or, maybe it was the obnoxious laughter of their favorite Henderson (to Dustin’s protest) being tickled by Harrington, that snapped them into realization.

Steve was basically, on top of her. His hands running down her sides as she squirmed, refusing to apologize for saying she was better than him, and that his hair wasn’t anything special... While it was cringe-worthy on every level (according to a sulking brother), it was...sweet.

Y/N had a smile on her lips that they’d never really seen before - save for when Harrington entered the room. It was like he said the funniest thing without really having to say anything at all...like Steve brought out the best in her without having to lift a finger. Stomach in knots when he called her name...it was that kind of smile that Steve was able to bring out.

As for Harrington himself? His smile remained even after she left. Having spent a whole day with her - the party would catch him grinning to himself like a madman while helping them put away their game set-up. They’d catch him repeating things he’d said that happened to make Y/N smile the way he loved... It was the kind of look that you couldn’t replicate, even if you tried...only if you knew the feeling - could you do so.

Realizing this, Dustin yelled and groaned silently in his head (half disgust and half reluctant understanding). Steve, you owe me big time for this...

“Fine,” he whispered, catching everyone’s gaze but the two still messing bout on the sofa. “What’s the plan?”

“You’re s-such a l-loserrrr!” Y/N slurred while trying to struggle free of the handsome boy before her. Steve knew she had a soft spot for being so sensitive - he’d figured it out one time when she almost knocked him out on accident...(it ended with a lot of apologizing on your part, while also laughing as he held a bag of frozen peas to his face to avoid any swelling...)

“Admit it, and I’ll stop,” Steve tried to sound as serious as possible, failing utterly as Y/N’s y/c/h was splayed out like a crooked halo. Truly an angel...if anything, he wasn’t sure what he’d done in his (not so great) lifetime to earn the graces of such a human as you...good God...

Catching his gaze, Y/N shook her head (her halo only following her as any good angels’ would). “I-I...haha...will...n-never...a-admit...a-a lie!”

Steve only clicked his tongue. Sighing with a shake of his head. “I guess you’ll suffer until the end of time then, huh?”

After a few more minutes of torture (which Steve called, making sure Y/N had gotten her daily dose of laughter - as it was the best medicine and he didn’t need her falling ill any time soon, because...well...he didn’t have any apples on deck), he stopped, finally allowing her a breath of stability. He scooted down so he could cross his arms over her stomach, half his face buried there as he watched her collect herself.

It was moments like these that Steve truly cherished the most...he wondered if Y/N had the same mindset.

Because he’d honestly, never felt so good with anyone - not even with Nancy, who admittedly, was someone he’d actually held some feelings for (of course, the emotions Y/N threw at him had always overshadowed them, but Wheeler breaking his heart didn’t hurt any less). Steve had never wanted to give someone the world - mainly because it was impossible - but he knew that if Y/N simply suggested that such an action would, make her even smile for a few seconds...he’d figure out a way to do it within the next twenty-four hours.

You know, you’re like really pretty. Do you know what you do to me, Y/N? Is what Steve so hopelessly wanted to say, but he didn’t, instead, settling for a much simpler version.

“You wouldn’t be able to pull off this hair like I do...which is why...if you really wanted me to, I’d teach you my ways,” it came out as a harsh whisper of sorts - his jaw not having much movement as it was pressed to the crook of his elbow, both arms still rested on Y/N’s abdomen.

She laughed, and it sent a vibration through his body as he was rested atop her - only resulting in a chuckle of his own. The same wave taking ahold of Y/N, as Harrington’s chest rose and fell with each quick, shortened breath.

It was like they were in their own little world...too bad Dustin throwing a pillow at Steve’s head had to ruin it.

“So, we’ve come to a conclusion...,” Dustin explained, watching Harrington awkwardly try and sit up off his sister - Steve’s face burning up. Though, Y/N was in no better condition...her hands found her neck and her cheeks were a lovely shade of sunset.

“Oh, yeah?” Steve hummed while glancing at a nearby digital clock. “It better not be something crazy - ‘cause it’s almost ten o’clock and I think some of you need to get home.” Y/N nodded in agreement, leaning over and using her hand as a terrible shield,” Nice one...trying to act all momma bear like...I think they’ll definitely say you’re the better parent now.” “Har, har. Your sarcasm wasn’t necessary, Henderson,” Steve noted while flicking her forehead.

“We all need to go upstairs,” El suddenly directed. A hand raising to point, as if proving her sentence true.

Steve froze, unsure of where this was exactly going...but seeing as El usually had only good things to say...and a good intention...he nodded, words slow as he spoke,” Okay...okay...we’ll go upstairs then.”

They all marched up, like eight odd ants in a line - and when Mike suggested they watch a movie before Steve and Y/N drove them all home; it was quickly unanimous (which was a hard deal, as both teenagers knew getting six hardheaded children to agree on something was worse than trying to get Billy Hargrove to turn down a pretty face and a tight dress).

“Uh, ‘kay then...I guess we’re watching...a movie now,” Steve mumbled, trying to figure out the sudden change in pace. He was sure they hadn’t even finished their round, or match...or whatever they called it (he had only tried to play DnD once and...well...that’s a story for another time).

“I’ll see if there are��any blankets, Mike, would you mind seeing if there’s any popcor--,” “Oh....you’re not watching the movie...did you think you’d be watching it with us?” Was Wheeler’s response.

Six shit-eating grins and twelve hands shoving a Scoops Ahoy employee and a caring older sister out the front door later...and Steve found himself standing on the porch of Mike Wheeler’s house - the kids he and Y/N were supposed to be watching having locked them out, without their wallets or keys...or even a hint at what they were doing outside in the, now cool summer night...

“Great going Steve,” was all she said while staring at the closed door.

He whipped around on her and glared while crossing his arms.

“Wha-- me?! I don’t remember you helping with, I dunno...six dipshits shoving us out the damn house!”

“I didn’t think I needed to...Mr. Better Than Me...I was clearly wrong.” Y/N smirked.

Steve couldn’t even be fake mad for long. It ended with the pair laughing and shaking their heads, clutching their stomachs and asking for the kids to let them back in. Without an answer...Steve questioned what this was all about; remembering the boys giving him (crappy) advice on how to ask Y/N out. I mean...this is one way to force a guy between a rock and a hard place...

“Screw it, screw them, screw babysitting - screw this,” Harrington lamented. “No cars, but we got legs...wanna just go for a walk until our meddling kids decide to let their old folk back in?” He was going out on a limb, but...he couldn’t help it. Her presence was just so damn addicting...he wanted as much as he could get without having to pay the price of embarrassment just yet.

“Sure, Steve, sure.” with a gentle smile and a giggle...that was all the hype he needed to take her hand and pull her from the stoop.

“Well, m’lady - then let me lead the way.”

---

Hm...I can’t help but want more to this....partttttt 3 anyone? >.<

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[jckelly]

dear mum

[ jack kelly’s eulogy for his mother ] 

“I was supposed to say this shit at your funeral. I wrote it all out on a torn out page of my exercise book, on the flight over, when George was asleep and Claire was busy pretending to fuss. I think she gets a kick out of coddling me, stroking my hair, pretending I’m a baby again as if she can turn back the clock if she pretends enough, send me right back to toddler years so she can be the proud mum at the school gates acting like she gave birth to me. You’d fucking cackle if you saw it. You never liked babying me.

I was supposed to say this in the church, in front of the people who showed up - bit of a pathetic turn out, if I’m being honest, it was me, the vicar guy, Claire and George, and the latest social worker. Carole or summat. She stank of dog hair when she hugged me, I could feel Claire wanting to put my clothes in the wash straight away. She’s such a fucking clean freak, is Claire, all we have to be careful, it makes me want to jump in a swamp just to see what she’d say. She didn’t really talk to anyone, just George, so the crowd was pathetic and antisocial. You would’ve taken the piss out of it. But when I got into the church, I just couldn’t do it. I felt like my chest was tightening, I swear I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I thought I was gonna fucking pass out right there in front of the stupid alter. Claire squeezed my hand - Jesus Christ she’s one for hand holding - and was all you don’t have to do this and I bottled it. Gave up and let the vicar mumble some shite about ashes to ashes. He probably says the same thing for everyone. We played The Masterplan by Oasis - you would’ve liked that, I insisted on it and it was fucking epic in the church, Liam Gallagher fucking ringing out across the stupid place. Claire hated it, she was all wouldn’t a classical piece be better, I was like it is a classic, fuck off. And then it was over and we all went back to the hotel and I hadn’t even eaten yet and it was only eleven and it felt so fucking wrong that my day was barely starting and I’d already said goodbye to my mum and I didn’t even say a single stupid thing.

So I’m saying it now, in my bedroom with the door locked, smoking out the window - this joint’s for you, okay. Claire’s downstairs probably doing some late night googling - is my son depressed? How do you comfort your adopted son after his junkie mum dies? - and George is probably resisting the urge to come confiscate the weed because he can definitely smell it from there and I know Claire’s probably the only thing stopping him. So it’s just us, because to be honest, I don’t think you’re any more likely to be in a church than right here. We never went to church anyway, I don’t think I was baptised. I don’t really know anymore.

Mummy. You liked when I called you that, something about me sounding like a toddler made you feel younger. Not that you needed to sound any younger, you were well fucking young as it was. Fifteen when you had me, I remember being eight, nine, and the parents  at the school gate thought you were my sister. Sometimes you played along, I thought it was a funny game and I’m only just starting to realise it was out of shame, you never liked to admit what was really going on, but then again I never realised what was going on then. I thought all the kids got left for days on end while their mums went off to find ways to make ends meet, pasta in the cupboard and a step by the stove so I could stand on it to reach to turn the gas on and boil the water. I went back to that flat the other day, we had to pick up the last pieces of shit you’d left. It stank of mouldy vomit and piss, I swear the blanket you were sleeping on had fucking fleas and there was next to nowt in the entire place - they said you’d sold it all in the end, paying for your drugs with your bed and your clothes - but the step was still by the stove, as if you thought I was gonna come back and I might need to reach the cupboard.

I had a massive fucking panic attack right there by the step. You would have been ashamed. I couldn’t breathe and I think Claire was torn between calling a doctor and trying to comfort me, she didn’t know what was happening because it was just a step but it was never just a step or a flat or a room. It was your room, your step, your flat. It was what you did for me because you knew I was gonna come back and I’m so sorry I was too late, I’m so sorry I didn’t make it in time to save you. It’s my fault. It usually is.

You would’ve known what to say. You usually did. Noel, stop being a fucking dumbass, and somehow that would have sorted me right out as if nothing ever happened. (It was always Noel, never Jack, you always said you meant it that way - Noel Jackson Kelly, not Jackson Noel Kelly, you messed up when you went to register me because you didn’t have anyone to help.) Those were your words on my first day of school, slightly abridged, Noel, stop being stupid. And then you put that ring of your mum’s in my pocket, the one you never took off, just to make me feel like you were there with me.

I lied about that ring to some kid at school. I said I buried it with you. I didn’t want to admit you sold it years ago, just to pay for your heroin habit. There used to be a little mark on your finger whenever you took it off because you wore it so much, I guess that translated well into the marks on your arms. When the ring money wore out, you came to my high school - do you remember? I was fourteen and you were rattling the school gates, Jack honey do you have a fiver? A tenner? I’ll pay you back, I swear. And the fucking kids were muttering, going is that Jack Kelly’s mum? Nobody mistook you for my sister anymore then, the needles and the alcohol and the lifestyle had folded your skin, pushed premature wrinkles in. I couldn’t deny it when they asked, we looked too much alike, thanks for the freckles by the way, really fucking attractive. I didn’t really want to deny it. I didn’t care much if they said shit, I could beat most of them up even if I was shorter. They didn’t know fuck all about you. Nobody does. Claire wanted a restraining order after that, fuck her. You’re my mum. Not her.

Everyone always wants to see the fucking bad side. It’s morbid. I learned a word the other day in class: schadenfreude, means taking pleasure in other’s pain. That’s what everyone’s like, deep down. They like imagining you as some sort of monster because it makes them feel better, when they tuck their kids into bed in their nice houses in the nice areas of town, no sirens going off, to think that you’re completely different to them. That no matter what they do they’ll never end up like you. That’s not how it works. You could’ve been one of them, you could’ve had the nice place and the husband, if maybe you’d been born in a different place to different people and you hadn’t met whoever gave you your first high. Sometimes I imagine that. You in a nice dress in a nice house, there’s a man making dinner when I come back from school, maybe you have a degree or even you just finished secondary school. You have a nice job as a receptionist or a secretary or something normal. You’re smiling. I haven’t seen you smile properly in years.

Point is, I’m tired of them trying to make you sound like you don’t deserve to be loved just because you were sick. You had an illness, it’s the same like some people’s mums get fucking cancer. You didn’t want to be sick, fuck knows you tried to beat it, spent half your fucking life on methadone. They make it sound like you were never a mum. You’re my mum. You know more about me than anyone. Claire doesn’t even know what my favourite band is, as if I’m not named after fucking Noel Gallagher. Claire thinks she can buy motherhood with fake worry and acting like she cares. She doesn’t realise it’s not for sale because I had a fucking mother already and I don’t care if she’s in the ground. You’re always gonna be my mum. Doesn’t change.

I see you when I look in the mirror. Your nose, your eyes, your hair, your crooked smile and crooked teeth, neither of us ever bothered to get them sorted out and I’m glad. I’m half him, I know that, the elephant in the room, the man who stuck his dick in you to give you me, another inconvenience in a life full of mistakes. I’ve spent eighteen years without knowing him though, and I can spend seventy more because he gave you fuck all. I guess that makes me like him, in a way - all I got you was trouble, problems with the law because they thought you shouldn’t be leaving me then, visits from social workers who found your stash. All I did was mess your life up even more and then I let myself leave and I lie awake at night replaying all of the conversations me and Claire and you ever had about that and wondering why, why did I let it happen because I just know you would never have been so careless if you knew I was coming over next week or next month. You wouldn’t have done that to me. I know that. They don’t, but I do, and since when did it matter what George or Claire or any of the fucking social workers thought?

I miss you when I play Oasis. I miss you when I hear some stupid kid messing around on a guitar because I remember that one you had once upon a time before it got added to the list of shit you sold off. I miss you when I catch a reflection of myself smiling in a window or a shiny car, your smile again. One day I’ll stop remembering the way that smile looked, it’s been such a long time, and then your eyes will start to leave my mind, your thin lips, your hair. I need you still. I’m not ready to be by myself yet. The law says I’m an adult but I feel like a kid still, sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I’m being hurt and all I want is you to tell me I’m being stupid again, but you can’t do that. Not ever again. I’m not ready to accept that. Sometimes I catch myself imagining what I’m going to do when I come back home over the summer, I’m gonna clean up your flat again like I always do, make you dinner, clean up your arms. When I realise I can’t do those things again it’s like someone tipped ice water down my back.

I’m going to graduate in June. I know your mum and dad never did, even though what you said about them was next to nothing. I know you didn’t, because I arrived to fuck your life up. But I think you’ll be proud, somewhere, that a Kelly made it to finish secondary school. Maybe we’re not so cursed after all. Or maybe I’m the curse, and it’s just everyone around me who’ll get fucked up because of me, I’ll be the only one unscathed. I’m sorry I did that to you. I’m sorry I let this happen. I wish I could swap places. All I can say is I loved you, I love you, and I’m sorry.

Noel”

[nctzendreamz]

Crazy, Rich, and They Hate Me :: Part Five

Jaehyun x Reader ft NCT

Angst/Fluff

It was officially bachelorette party time, and as much as you didn’t want to be invited, here you were. You were pretty silent as you and Jaehyun sat on a golf cart; you nervous that you were about to be alone with strangers, and him nervous for you. Let’s not forget the elephant in the room that was his mother, who clearly didn’t like you.

Your eyes rested on the beautiful scenery of the ocean, allowing it to calm your nerves. You were able to blank out and just listen to the sound of the waves with your eyes closed. Suddenly, you felt a hand slowly grab yours, rubbing your knuckles. You snapped out of your trance slightly, looking at your boyfriend. He also seemed to be in a trance, but not at the scenery. At you.

[[MORE]]

“You okay?” You whispered, knowing you weren’t mad at him. If anything you were mad at yourself. Clearly you weren’t good enough or his mother would’ve been pleased.

He didn’t speak, but instead pecked your cheek gently, and then pecked your lips. “I’m always okay when I’m with you.”

“I’m nervous.” You avowed. “It’s going to be weird without you.”

“Don’t be. Just show them how amazing you are. Plus, Rosé will be there for you.”

“It’s her bachelorette party, Jae.” You giggled while pinching his cheek. “She’s going to be focused on her friends.”

“I’m so sorr-

You kissed him quickly to calm his concerns. “Baby, I’m just being dramatic. I will be okay, I promise. Just focus on making this Johnny’s best day and have fun. Not too much fun though.” You connected your lips again.

His laugh echoed and made your lips vibrate as the cart slowed, indicating you had arrived at your destination. “You know I’ll always be a good boy for you.” He whispered, peppering kisses all over your face.

“Okay lovebirds.” Johnny’s loud voice yelled, interrupting your flirting. “I promise I’ll bring him back safely.” His pearly whites blinded you.

“Thank you Johnny~” You smiled back brightly.

Jaehyun pressed his forehead to yours in childish annoyance before kissing you once more and allowing Johnny to drag him out. He winked at you, letting it tell you he loved you before he dissapeared around the corner.

Now it was just you, and your brain didn’t know what to do. Should you try to talk to someone? Were you even capable of that? You grabbed the beach bag that sat on the back of the golf cart, placing it on your shoulder.

“That is such a cute bag.” A light voice said, carressing it gently.

When you looked up, you were met with an extremely beautiful girl. Her skin glowing even though the sunlight was not currently shining in the area. Her smile was perfect, and her hair was long. “Thank you.” You were just happy that someone was talking to you. That was more than you thought you would get. “You are absolutely goregeous.”

“Well, I can say the same for you.” There was a short silence before she spoke again. “Yuna.” She smirked, placing her hand out to shake. “And you’re the famous Y/N? Right?”

“That’s me.” You said in an awkward tone. “Am I really the talk of the town these days?” You sighed.

“Don’t look at it as a bad thing, darling.” She tapped your chin. “Enjoy the spotlight.”

All you could do was laugh, following her lead to the rest of the girls. You didn’t know what you were doing today, but you were sure it would be lavish considering your boyfriend was on his way to a yacht party.

..................

Music was blasting, girls were everywhere, and Jaehyun was currently watching his cousins take multiple shots.

“You guys sure are drinking a lot.” He commented slyly as he watched the groom to be take a shot as well.

“Oh don’t get all uppity on us now, Jung Jaehyun.” Lucas slurred. “Let’s not pretend you didn’t get drunk basically every night and hook up with any girl you saw when you were at university.”

Jaehyun gasped in fake offense.

“I can confirm being drunk every night was true, but Jaehyun could never hook up with any girls.” Johnny laughed.

“So he’s been a nerd all his life.” Haechan snorted, causing everyone to burst out into laughter.

Yuta fought to catch his breath. “First of all, nerds get pussy, not Jaehyun, but you know.”

“It wasn’t because of that.” Johnny corrected. “It was just because Jaehyun is all romantic and stuff. He was trying to love them, not take their innocence.”

Everyone pouted in a plastic manner minus Taeyong, laughing once again.

Haechan placed a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “How cute. Speaking of, Y/N is really cute.”

“Hell yeah.” Lucas raved. “How did you end up getting to hit that? Is it good?”

“Hey.” Jaehyun spoke up, eyeing the younger one deeply. “Watch your mouth.”

“Yeah Lucas, maybe you’ve reached your limit.” Johnny defended, taking his drink and finishing it for him.

“What?”

“Clearly Y/N isn’t a random hookup, dumbass.” Taeyong spoke.

“I didn’t say she was, I just asked what we all wanted to know.”

“While we do want an answer to that question, I think the real question is how does your mom feel about her?”

“Why would my mom feel any way about her?”

“Uh, everyone has looked Y/N up and you know what comes up? Nothing.” Haechan said.

“And?”

“And, you already know how this family works. I mean I brought home the daughter of the richest hotel owner in South Korea; he owns a share if not full of literally every single one minus like ten, and my parents were barely impressed. What does Y/N do?”

“She’s a hairstylist.” Jaehyun trailed off.

Lucas spit out his drink. “A what?”

“He didn’t stutter.” Taeyong said.

“What is your problem, Taeyong?”

“My problem is the fact that all this family does is judge other people instead of worrying about themselves.”

“You’re only saying that because your family doesn’t approve of you making video games.”

“Fuck you.”

“Look, Taeyong literally sits in cash, so let’s not hate on him.” Yuta interrupted before things got serious. “But I’m serious, Jaehyun. I don’t believe this girl is using you for money or anything, but how are you going to run your dads company while she sits at home and barely makes enough to provide?”

“I can provide for her. Why are you acting like we’re not the richest family in this country?”

“It’s not about that and you know it. Our mother’s hate a woman who isn’t swimming in cash and you know that. And if she just doesn’t work? Phew.”

Johnny could see his cousins frustration, and knew he had enough of this conversation. “Guys, let’s not forget that it’s one of my last days as a free man. Plus, I like Y/N. She’s a lot cooler than any of the girls you’ve brought home.”

“Yeah whatever.” Lucas sighed. “With that body, I would be struggling to leave her too.”

Jaehyun was up as soon as the words left his mouth, and Johnny struggled to hold him back. “Alright, that’s enough let’s go!”

“No! Let me go.”

“It’s not worth it, Jae.” Johnny whispered. Suddenly he realized he needed to calm down and leave. The two of them went to another area.

“Fucking idiot.” Taeyong scoffed at Lucas, getting up to go back to the bar.

.........................

The big surprise was a free shopping spree and a full spa day, curtesy of Johnny’s mom. By the time you got to the rack, a lot of the good things were gone, but you still picked up a nice dress. After you placed your dress on your temporary bed, you prepared yourself for a massage. You spotted Yuna and her friends already getting theirs, so you figured you could take the table beside hers.

There was a weird silence when you showed up, but you figured it was your brain playing tricks on you. As you laid down for your massage, you wanted to try and be more social. “So, did you get anything good off the rack?”

“That rack is incomparable to my suitcase, girl.” She laughed, turning her head to look at you.

“Well I can’t relate.” You laughed with her, already feeling the ice break.

“It’s okay. Not everyone can be a fashionista. You have your own style and it’s cool.”

“Thank you.” You said sincerely. “I never asked you, who are you related to? Jaehyun or Rosé?”

She laughed again, this time differently. “I’m not related to either one of them. I’ve known Rosé since I was a little girl, but I’m actually more close to Jaehyun’s family as I am his ex girlfriend and all. God, that boy stole my heart. His parent even wanted us to get married.”

You froze in place, not knowing how to feel or what to say. Why did everyday get worse and worse? “Ex girlfriend?” Was all you could manage.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you? Really?”

“Not a lick.”

“Guess your relationship isn’t as good as ours was. He used to tell me everything. Literally even the smallest things.” She giggled as well as the rest of her friends before getting up and walking away.

You thought Jaehyun told you everything, but now you realized you were wrong. Now you had to deal with his wannabe meangirl for an ex girlfriend, and on top of that you were back to square one with nobody to talk to. How could you let her play you like that? Usually you could see a snake from a mile away. Damnit, all you wanted to do was call Jaehyun and vent to him, even though it was him you were mad at.

You decided it would be a good idea to lay down, try to calm down before the bonfire tonight since you couldn’t leave. You walked in your room with your eyes closed, horrified when you saw the bed covered in fake blood, with “broke bitch!” spray painted in red on the headboard to put the icing on the cake. Suddenly you heard the door opening, and Yuna, as well as her other bullies were laughing at you.

“Did you really think I wanted to be friends with you? A poor girl from Los Angeles that thinks she can keep Jung Jaehyun? Worse, thinks Jung Jaehyun will actually keep her? Biggest joke I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Get out.” You said taking deep breaths.

“Gladly.” Was all she said before leaving.

You closed your eyes, trying to remember every technique possible to not cry. Unfortunately tears rolled down your eyes, but you refused to let your chest cave. You wouldn’t let her get to you, nor would you leave. You were raised to be stronger than this.

You stayed in your room until it was time for the bonfire.

........................

The yacht party had ended, leaving everyone to go their separate ways minus Johnny and Jaehyun. The two of them sat on a wooden log bed that sat in the ocean as they watched the sunset together. It always felt better like this, and it was a bittersweet feeling as they both knew it would be the last time in a while. The orange and yellow made their skin shine, personifying the happiness they felt. Well Johnny felt. Jaehyun wanted to be happy, but he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to you.

“Remember when we used to do this all the time as kids?” Johnny questioned.

“Yeah.” Jaehyun chuckled. “We used to think we were pirates keeping watch of our country.”

“We were so cool.”

“The coolest.”

The two continued to overlook the wildlife, and Jaehyun took a swig of his beer.

“You’re not okay, are you?”

Jaehyun looked down at his toes, trying to find a good distraction from his thoughts. “I don’t think I am.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“We can’t do this, man.”

“Do what?”

“Talk about me. None of this is about me.”

“Seeing you this upset isn’t making me happy though, bro. If anything, knowing you talked to someone will make me feel a lot better. I know the guys said a lot of dumb things today.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, have you told her about the business yet? How are you going to work here, while she goes back to LA? Have you thought about it?”

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should just do what my parents want.” Jaehyun said, not even believing his mouth right now. He knew they weren’t right. He knew he couldn’t lose you.

“You don’t mean that.” Johnny corrected. “You’re just angry. You’re angry that they can’t accept her. You’re angry because you didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Am I wrong for that though? Was it foolish of me? You can say I’m blinded by my love for her, but in reality what has she done? She’s been trying so hard to make everyone happy and come out of her shell just to be treated like less than by my own mother? The one person who’s approval matters the most to her?”

“I know.”

“She was so excited to come here with me Johnny. So excited. She couldn’t wait to meet you, and Rosé, and experience this country with me and I can’t even stand up to my own mother for her? What type of man am I?”

“You’re a man who loves his mother. Who doesn’t know who’s side to choose because on one hand, you have the woman that raised you, and two the woman you love. I know I can’t relate because Rosé was excepted into my family pretty easily, but I understand having to choose. It’s hard.”

“That’s the thing, Johnny. It’s not hard at all. I choose Y/N. I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her so much.” He whispered, touching his wrist until he found the beaded bracelet you made for him a while ago. It always helped him calm down.

“Enough to marry her?”

Jaehyun dug in his pocket, pulling out a velvet box and opening it, revealing the engagement ring he had purchased the first night you two arrived here.

“More than enough.”

The two of them stared at eachother before embracing one another in a tight hug.

“Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life. Ever.”

“I’m so happy for you. So happy.”

.....................

You sat on the beach, watching everyone enjoy themselves while you couldn’t wait to go back home. It was almost time, you could survive.

“You okay?” You heard Rosé say, her Aussie accent thick with concern.

“Perfect.” You whispered, your chin resting on your knees.

“I heard about what happened today in your room. I’m so sorry for that. I feel horrible.”

“Not your fault. I figured you didn’t know all fifty of us on a personal level.” You joked, getting a laugh out of her.

“Honestly, I’m pretty sure you’re my only friend here.” She confessed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Well I won’t deny that I’m your friend.” You smiled. “But what makes you think that? I’m sure you have at least five people that truly love you. You’re so sweet.”

“Yeah, but what if I wasn’t me?” Her eyes were locked on the body of water. “You know? What if I was just a normal girl, no rich parents, not about to marry Johnny Suh, none of that.”

“You’re a normal girl even with those things. Anybody who tries to hold you to a higher expectation just because you come from a wealthy family doesn’t deserve to have you. It’s nothing wrong with being a normal person and doing normal people things like staying in bed all day, watching Netflix until you fall asleep, stuffing your face. And if you want to shop until you drop, wear expensive clothes, it doesn’t matter. Just be yourself. Don’t let anyone put you in a box and you damn sure better not let any of these girls make you feel like if you’re not bragging about your wealth, you’re not worth it. You’re better than that.” You rubbed her knee affectionately. “Plus, Johnny doesn’t love you for your status. I can see if in the way he looks at you.”

“Wow.” She sniffed, wiping a tear from her eye. “I see why Jaehyun is so in love with you.”

“I hope he is.”

“You think he isn’t?”

“I think he is, but I also think he isn’t thinking at all. He’s just living in the moment and I’m waiting for the day he drops me like the bad habit I am. I mean, if his own mother doesn’t like me, how is this going to work?”

“I think we’ve both had enough of this party.” She sighed, placing a head on your shoulder.

“Agreed.”

“You know Y/N, when all of this is said and done, I would love for us to still talk. I don’t want you to leave and I never see you again. It would also suck to lose such a good friend.”

“I promise if you will.” You stuck your pinkie out, and she latched on.

“You have my word.”

....................

You sat on the couch inside of the building where you were originally dropped off at, waiting for Jaehyun to come pick you up. Yesterday had been a long day, and all you wanted to do was sleep until it was time for the wedding. That was a lot of sleep, but you needed it. You tossed and turned all night. You felt something cold on your neck, and turned around to find the familiar face of your boyfriend looking at you with those beautiful eyes of his.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in days.” You whispered, wanting a kiss from him, but remembering you’re mad. You could see he noticed this, but still kissed you anyway, feeling your lips didn’t move.

He moved to sit on the couch with you. “What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Yuna?”

His eyebrows scrunched up, as they always did when he was nervous.

“I just...I don’t know. Was she there yesterday? Damnit.” He whispered to himself.

“She wasn’t just there.” You huffed. You took the smoothie, taking a long sip of it. Of course it was your favorite. He always knew what to do even when he didn’t know you were mad at him. “She made me feel so stupid, and to put the icing on the cake, she trashed my room. She put fake blood on the bed and called me a broke bitch.” You sighed resting your head on his shoulder.

“Are you serious?” You could hear the anger in his voice.

“I wish I wasn’t. Why am I not good enough, huh? What is it? I know I’m not rich, and I know I’m not up to the standards of anyone here but I love you. Shit.”

He couldn’t speak, trying to process everything he just heard. “I’m sorry.” He finally said. “I’m sorry for not telling you about Yuna. And I’m sorry about not telling you I was rich. And I’m sorry that you’ve hated every second of being here. This is not what I wanted at all. And you damn sure are the standard. I hate myself for doing this.”

“Hey.” Your voice was soft as you talked to him. “I know you didn’t mean it in a malicious way. I understand.”

“I just...” he rubbed the nape of your neck softly, encouraging you to drink some more of your smoothie. “Do you regret coming here with me? Do you regret being with me?”

“No, Jae.” Your eyes locked with his. “Mama didn’t raise no weak bitch.” That got a small smile out of him, but he was clearly upset. “Is it hard that your family sees me as the poor girl? Yes. Did it hurt to get treated how I was treated today? Absolutely. But I’d do it all over again if it meant I still had you at the end of the day.”

“Why are you so perfect?”

“Well, I’m with the closest definition of perfect pretty much everyday. Plus, that Yuna girl is jealous of me anyway. She’s a sad woman.”

“That doesn’t make it right. I promise I will handle her.” He kissed you again, this time you kissed him back. “What can I do to make it up to you, huh? I’ll do anything, you know that. A movie night? Fries with extra ketchup? Tell me and I’ll give it.

“You can tell me about you two. According to her, your parents wanted you two to get married.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing you closer to him. “I dated her when I was 21 years old. She was mean to everyone so I dumped her. Yes, my parents wanted me to marry her, but only because she’s rich. That’s all they care about.”

“So they don’t want you to marry me then I assume?”

“I don’t care what they think.”

“Did you just admit you want to marry me?”

Jaehyun stayed quiet, allowing his ears to shine red. “Guess you’ll have to stay and find out, won’t you?”

“I guess I will.” You kissed his neck. “Now back to what I actually want...is you. I just want to be with you as always. What do you want to do?” In reality you were so sleepy, but you could sacrifice.

“I actually have somewhere we can go.” He answered, rubbing your thigh gently.

“And where is that?”

“To go make dumplings with my grandma.”

You sighed in defeat, knowing you wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to socialize no matter how much you wanted to. You had to prove to everyone you loved Jaehyun, and if allowing his family to look at you like they despised you was what needed to be done, so be it.

“Lets go make some dumplings, baby.”

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 51 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 51

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

A few months later

“Babe! I’m home!” Nikki called out as he came through the door. “Stopped at the bakery and got the cake! And those cupcakes you like!” It was quiet downstairs. “Babe?” He sat the baked goods on the island and headed into the house. He made his way to the nursery, where he could hear music playing. (Y/n) was decorating, wanting everything to look perfect.

“(Y/n).” Nikki said softly. She jumped and turned to look at him.

“You scared me!” She laughed. “So, what do you think?” They had went with softer, neutral tones, and the paint had just finished drying, so (Y/n) was putting up all the decorations. Cute little animals playing instruments.

“It’s perfect.” Nikki smiled and wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting on her bump. “Everything is amazing.” He kissed on her neck, holding her close. She moaned softly, then glanced at the time on the watch Nikki was wearing.

“Shit!” She called out. “Everyone’s going to be here in like an hour or two!” She pulled away from Nikki. “I need to get a shower and...and…”

“Babe, relax.” Nikki smiled. “I got the cake. Pizza is scheduled. You just go get a shower and calm down, okay.” He kissed her gently.

“What would I do without you?” (Y/n) asked, kissing him again.

“Be a lonely, but still a really hot, producer in New York.” He smiled at her. “Or be married to Bret Michaels.”

“Oh, don’t remind me of that.” (Y/n) shook her head. “Okay, I’m getting in the shower. Be out in a bit.” She headed towards the bathroom while Nikki went downstairs to get ready for their guests; Vince and Vanessa with Dean and Samantha, Tommy and his new girlfriend (Pamela had the boys this week), Athena and her new husband, and Mick going solo, as well as (Y/n)’s parents. Tonight was the gender reveal. Nikki and (Y/n) didn’t even know what they were having yet. The doctor had wrote it on a slip of paper and put it into an envelope, which (Y/n) took to the bakery to have a cake made. It was chocolate icing, but inside would either be pink or blue.

About an hour and a half later, the pizza arrived, along with Mick and (Y/n)’s parents. Mick helped Nikki get it all set up while (Y/n) finished getting ready. Vince, Vanessa, and the twins were next, followed by Athena and her husband James, and then there was Tommy, being fashionably late, but no girlfriend in sight.

“She, uh, didn’t want to come.” Tommy shrugged. He leaned over to Nikki. “I haven’t been dating. Don’t tell (Y/n). She worries about me after prison.”

“Well, I wonder why.” Nikki laughed. “It’s cool man. Your secret is safe with me.”

“So, when do we find out what this little sucker is.” Vince asked (Y/n) as she walked past him.

“Once we cut the cake but this pizza smells really good.” She grabbed a few pieces and smiled down at the twins. “You both are just so cute!”

“Well, Dean keeps stealing Sammy’s bow all the time, and Sammy likes to bite.” Vanessa laughed. “Those two are going to be a handful. You think your brother and your husband are the terror twins? I think my little pumpkins here are.”

Conversation flowed throughout the evening, Tommy giving vague answers when asked about his girlfriend and Mick saying he was just fine being single. Vanessa and Vince alternated between feeding the twins and feeding themselves. (Y/n) smiled. This was her family. She never thought in a million years that the most notorious band in metal would be sitting together in her living room, waiting for a gender reveal while making small talk like they hadn’t just been doing coke off of naked strippers about ten years ago.

“Okay guys, are we ready?” (Y/n) asked, standing up. Nikki and (Y/n) made their way to the kitchen, everyone else in tow. The cake sat there, ready to be cut. Nikki handed (Y/n) the utensils.

“Be my guest.” Nikki told her, kissing her cheek. (Y/n) cook a deep breath and cut a piece, laying it out on a plate.

A pink cake.

“We’re having a girl!” (Y/n) gasped, hugging Nikki. “Oh my god!”

“We’re having a girl!” Nikki echoed, holding his wife close to him. He had never dreamed that he would be a dad to a little girl. She was going to be so loved and protected, because she had not only her three uncles in the room who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who hurt her, but a long list of musicians that Nikki and (Y/n) had befriended over the years.

Nikki and (Y/n) Sixx were having a girl.

****

“I don’t know anything about shopping for girls.” Tommy said. “At least, not baby girls. Big girls though, I can buy for.” Tommy said as they passed by Victoria Secret.

“Vanessa was in charge of getting everything for Sammy, so I’m at a loss.” Vince shrugged.

“I haven’t bought baby clothes since the 1970’s. And I’m pretty sure I was drunk then.” Mick added. Nikki sighed. He should’ve just invited Slash or something to join him on this mall trip. He wanted to start buying clothes for the yet unnamed baby. He might have been going overboard with buying baby stuff here recently. Most people assumed that the mother would be the one going crazy. But not in (Y/n) and Nikki’s case. Nikki wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

“So, any names yet?” Tommy asked as he looked at a display in the window at a music store. A small poster was hanging in the window, with a picture of him at his kit that said “Tommy Lee Uses Vater”. “Dudes, check me out!”

“Good thing we’re not visiting a music store in the 1980’s. Sober Tommy pointing out every picture of himself would get real old, real fast.” Mick grumbled.

“I should’ve just left you losers at home.” Nikki sighed. They headed into the baby store, looking extremely out of place. Vince had recently died his hair a deep red, Tommy looked like he had been pulled from the hip-hop block on VH1, Mick looked like an old man shopping for his grandchild, and Nikki was in all black with tattoos.

“Can...can I help you?” A young girl greeted them.

“My wife and I are having our first child, a baby girl, and I might be going a tiny bit overboard.”

“Oh, congratulations, well we have a great selection of girl clothes over here,” she gushed and showed him all the latest clothes for baby girls.

Nikki and the guys all looked at all the ruffles and pink around them. “Do you think she’s be mad if I dyed some of this black?”

“I think there’s a store on the strip that has baby clothes,” Tommy told them.

“I guess we can try,” Nikki shook his head, “I’ll buy some of this just in case though. I don’t want her getting mad at me.”

“Man, she is so laid back about this. Compared to Nessa pregnant, she’s pretty chill.” Vince told him.

“And her favorite color is black.” Mick shrugged.

“True,” Nikki nodded. “Then let’s go Crue!”

****

“Look at this onesie!” Tommy called out. “It’s so cute!”

“Yeah, but her dad isn’t the drummer dumbass.” Vince said, smacking the back of his head. Everything in the store was rock based, and Nikki had already found a couple

“Can I get it custom?” He asked. “My uncle is the best drummer in the world type of thing?” Vince found matching t-shirts for the twins. He wasn’t sure if Vanessa would actually put them on the kids, but they were cute.

“Hey, aren’t you those guys from Motley Crue?” A guy asked.

“Uh, yeah.” Nikki said, looking over at him.

“Dude! You guys were so awesome! I got laid for the first time when Home Sweet Home was playing.” He high fived Tommy then headed about his shopping. The guys looked at each other with smiles on their faces.

“Oh man this looks good,” Nikki said as he grabbed a onesie. It was a Motley Crue onesie, black with pink trim and the band's name in pink.

“Get it. I dare you.” Tommy laughed.

“You don’t have to dare me,” he laughed, “I’m getting it”

“Baby Aphrodite is going to be the best dressed baby in all of LA.” Tommy laughed.

“Not naming my daughter after a Greek goddess. Especially not Aphrodite.” Nikki shook his head. “(Y/n) have a few ideas for names. But we’re not certain on anything until we meet her.”

“What? Are you thinking of something like Olive or something?” Vince asked with a laugh. Nikki stayed quiet. “Wait, really?”

“I said that we’ll know for sure when we see her.” Nikki told him again, grabbing another onesie. “But yes, Olive is on the list.”

“Olive Sixx.” Mick said as they bought the stuff and headed out.

“I didn’t say we had a great list. Just that we had a list.” Nikki pointed out. “It’s a work in progress but we still have some time.”

“Ok, dudes I’m starving let’s go eat.” Tommy smiled and clapped his hands together.

“When are you not starving?” Mick asked. Nikki pulled out the little onesie and smiled, running his fingers on the fabric. He was going to be a dad, and he knew he was going to be a better parent than his ever were.

****

“I feel so fat.” (Y/n) groaned as she sat on the couch with Vanessa, watching the twins on the floor. “My feet are swollen, my ankles are the size of an elephant, I’m either sad, horny, or hungry. There’s no in between.”

“Welcome to pregnancy,” Vanessa smiled. “But you look gorgeous. And I bet Nikki can’t get his hands off you.”

“He said that he’s already looking forward to more kids.” (Y/n) told her. “But I look awful. I don’t get where ya’ll are getting this gorgeous look from or whatever.”

Vanessa hugged her, “because you are drop dead gorgeous (Y/n) Sixx!” Vanessa looked to the twins and sighed as they crawled around the small space they made in the living room for them. “Nikki not able to get his hands off you should be proof of that.”

“How are you and Vince doing?” (Y/n) asked. “Last I heard, you were convincing him to get snipped.”

“Well, I’m good with just two. Plus he has his two other kids so four kids for him should be good enough,” Vanessa sighed. “I just don’t want to risk anything bad happening.”

“Nothing bads gonna happen.” (Y/n) rubbed her arms. “And, if you decide you want another set of twins later on, it can be reversed.” She teased Vanessa. She watched as Dean reached out and stole Sammy’s bow, making her cry and try to bite her brother. “Wow, you were right about that.”

“Terror twins! I told you.” Vanessa took the bow from Dean and fixed Sammy’s hair.

“The boys are going to drop a new album soon. I just hope the tour is after the baby comes.” (Y/n) sighed. “Could you imagine me being in labor and Nikki in Europe?”

“That would drive him crazy,” Vanessa laughed. “But aren’t you in charge of scheduling it? Since it’s the label you guys created?”

“He’s not letting me do anything.” (Y/n) sighed. “I think the miscarriage from the 80’s still haunts him. He wants me to take it easy. I’m going stir crazy.”

“Talk to him hun,” Vanessa smiled. “I mean I can understand where he’s coming from but you guys are past the miscarriage point.”

“I know we are, he knows we are, but he’s still scared.” (Y/n) told her. “He’ll still wake up in the middle of the night, pull me to him, and tell me he’s sorry. It’s been years Nessa.”

Before Vanessa could reply the guys came back with bags on their arms. Nikki walked up to (Y/n) and kissed her on her head.

“How are you feeling?” he put the bags down.

“I’m okay.” (Y/n) smiled. “Think I can do some work for the label soon?”

“As long as you don’t get stressed I think we’re ok?” he held on closely to her.

“Nessa! I got some shirts for the twins.” Vince said excitedly. One was blue, one was pink. Both said “I’m cute, mom’s hot, dad’s lucky”. “What do you think?”

Vanessa smiled at him, “I love them and you’re still getting snipped,” she gave him a pat on his cheek before handing Dean to him. “Your son loves to make his sister cry, and your daughter loves to bite.”

“Well, as long as it keeps the boys away, right my little man?” Vince asked, smiling at Dean. Dean gave Vince the biggest smile. Nikki pulled out the small camera (Y/n) had bought him when she found out she was pregnant and snapped a picture of him and Vince. The small camera came in handy when he was on the go.

“Someday we’ll have camera phones. That’s what the guy on TV said the other day. That soon, we’ll have really good cameras and computers in our pockets.” Tommy told them.

“Yeah, but nothing will beat the real thing.” Nikki laughed.

“So, when is the pregnancy photoshoot?” Vanessa asked. (Y/n) looked at Nikki. They hadn’t really thought of it, but (Y/n)’s mom had been bugging her about it so she could send pictures back to Greece. Nikki smiled at (Y/n) and rubbed her back.

“Well, maybe we could plan something out in the backyard with Jett and Ziggy.” He shrugged. “I know they’re just going to love their little sister.”

“But I look like a house.” (Y/n) groaned. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this. It’s bad enough you guys see me like this.”

“At least she’s not throwing stuff at him.” Vince mumbled under his breath.

Vanessa smacked him lightly, “honey, you look lovely! I can help you with hair and makeup.”

“But…” (Y/n) sighed.

“No. It’s going to be great!” Tommy told her. “As long as there are clothes on in the photoshoot, I’ll be happy.”

“Yeah, I was going to do a naked photoshoot to send to your aunts in Greece.” Nikki sighed. “Seriously, where did all the brains go?”

“My little sister stole them.” Tommy said, not sure if he was insulting himself or complimenting her.

“You could always save the naked ones for your private collection,” Vanessa smiled.

“Oh, I already have plenty of those.” Nikki teased.

“Gross!” Tommy called out. “I don’t need to think about that.”

****

(Y/n) sat on a bench, her hands resting on her belly while Nikki snapped the pictures. Ziggy and Jett had posed in a few, but a squirrel ran by and Nikki hadn’t been able to reel them back in. So (Y/n) was going solo for the rest of them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be in them dad?” (Y/n) called out to Nikki. “I mean, it’s not just me that was involved in this!”

“I could set the timer,” Nikki said as he grabbed his tripod and began to line the shot. “Ok, so everything is set.” (Y/n) stood up so Nikki could run over and wrap his arms around her and place his hands on her belly. Once he got the time set, he did just that. (Y/n) leaned back against him as the camera went off.

“I bet you look very handsome in it.” (Y/n) said with a smile.

“You look better,” he muttered as he kissed her as the camera went off again. They took a handful more pictures before Nikki went to develop them. (Y/n) lounged outside.

“Your daddy and I love you very much sweetheart.” (Y/n) whispered to her belly. “We can’t wait to meet you.” She rubbed small circles and smiled. She had never thought she would be this happy. She looked at the house with loving eyes. Soon, they would have a family there.

****

“Vanessa, my belly feels tight.” (Y/n) told her a few months later. They were out and about for the day while the boys did interviews and made their rounds. “And little miss thing is all over the place. It’s like she’s breakdancing or something.”

“She might be getting ready to come out,” Vanessa gave her a smile.

“You think?” (Y/n) asked. “Nikki will be in a panic if I’m not with him when I go into labor. You know it as well as I do.” She laughed a little.

“Well she sin;t going to come out today, I hope,” Vanessa chuckled. “But it sounds like she’s getting herself in the position to come out.”

“Dramatic, just like your daddy,” (Y/n) sighed. “Gotta make sure you make a big entrance and put on a show, right?” She rubbed at her belly. She looked at he stroller the twins were in. “Nessa, you’ve got to see this. Get the camera from my purse.” She told her. The twins were fast asleep holding hands.

Vanessa grabbed the camera and smiled as she took the picture, "I need to get a copy of this."

"Of course." (Y/n) smiled but then groaned.

“(Y/n)? Are you ok?” Vanessa rushed to her. “Maybe I should call Nikki.”

"She’s mad about something." She rubbed her stomach. "I...maybe we should call. But he's on TV with the boys."

Vanessa pulled out her phone and called Nikki, “Damn it.” she cursed, “It’s going to voicemail.”

"Leave a message and I'll just go on." (Y/n) gasped. "Little lady your daddy will be upset if you come before he gets here."

Vanessa left Nikki a message as she led (Y/n) back to the car, “I’m taking you to the hospital.” she said. “I think they should check you out in case you are in labor.”

"Okay, not gonna argue." They got the twins in the car and headed towards the hospital.

****

"I heard a cell phone while we were on stage." Tommy checked his. "Wasn’t mine."

“It was mine,” Nikki sighed. “This is Vanessa’s number,” he put the phone to his ear. “She thinks (Y/n) is going into labor. I got to go.” NIkki rushed out of the studio before the guys could say a word.

“Didn’t we come with him?” Vince looked at the guys.

"Nikki wait!" Mick called out. "Your our ride!"

The guys all rushed after him and piled into the car. Nikki drove like a bat out of hell to get to the hospital. He tripped over himself as he ran to the nurses station gasping for air.

“Wife… in… labor…. Friend… brought… where?” he gasped.

"Nikki!" Vanessa called out. "She’s in being seen." Just then (y/n) came out.

"Guys?" (Y/n) asked.

Nikki rushed to her voice and went in side, “(Y/n) I’m here. Are you ok?” Nikki rushed to hold her hand. “Is little lady coming out?”

"No not yet. she just is being a dramatic little girl." (Y/n) smiled. "Are you ok?"

"I… you…baby…" he tried to catch his breath. "I got scared I was going to miss it."

"Guess she's running drills." (Y/n) laughed.

“Once I get you home I’m going to have to come up with something so I don’t miss the real thing,” he smiled.

"What if you're on stage or at another interview? It could be on the national news." (Y/n) laughed.

"Then everyone is going to know that little lady is here to rule the world," he caressed her cheek and kissed her.

“So you’re okay?” Tommy asked, sounding a little worried. (Y/n) smiled.

“Yes Tommy. Honestly, just tired right now.” (Y/n) told her brother.

“Little lady wanted to keep us on our toes,” Nikki chuckled a bit. “She’s good, and I about had a panic attack.”

“I’m sorry honey.” (Y/n) told him. “I’m ready to go take a nap. Do you have to go back anywhere?”

“Nope I think that was our last interview,” Nikki looked at the guys who gave him a thumbs up.

“Good. Now which cute guy wants to take me home.” (Y/n) laughed, giving Nikki a smirk.

“Hey,” Nikki pinched her nose playfully. “Only cute guy taking you home is this guy!”

“I said cute. Not extremely handsome.” She smiled and kissed him.

“Hey now. No kissing. Kissing leads to more babies once that one comes out.” Tommy laughed. “Go rest. Who knows when my niece is going to make her world debut.”

“Come on sweet girl,” Nikki smiled. “Let’s get you home.” He led her out to the car. Vanessa kissed Vince.

“How much did he freak out?” She asked, looking at him and the other guys.

“He almost left us at the TV station after the interview,” Vince shrugged and smiled. “How did the kids do with you guys?”

“(Y/n) has a picture she’s going to have Nikki print off for us. But the babies were asleep in their stroller holding hands.” Vanessa to him with a big smile.

“I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that little lady is going to make her appearance at the most inconvenient time.” Mick told them with a shrug.

“Now that's what I want to see,” Tommy said as they all watched Nikki help (Y/n) into the car. “I kind of want to see him freak out when it actually happens… remind me to get the camcorder ready though.”

“Oh, we won’t let him live that down.” Vince laughed.

“Wait, Nikki’s taking (Y/n) home. He was our ride.” Mick told Tommy. Mick and Tommy turned to look at Vince and Vanessa, giving them little pouts and puppy eyes.

“Come on you clowns,” Vanessa sighed. “But that means you’re on baby duty!”

“Hehe, she said duty.” Tommy laughed. Vince handed him Dean. “What’s that smell?”

“That’d be the duty.” Vince laughed.

“WHAT?” Tommy smelled Dean and put him at arm's length. “Dude that is not funny! He smells like one of Nikki’s old pairs of underwear from the Theater of Pain tour!”

“I don’t want to know how you know what the smells like.” Vanessa shook her head. “Give me my son, I’ll change him and you can walk home.” Tommy sighed and looked at Vince. He hadn’t really changed too many diapers, since Pamela did most of that.

“Come on drummer, I’ll show you how it’s done.” Mick grumbled, taking the diaper bag from Vanessa and leading him to the bathroom to help him change the baby.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo​ @dekahg​ @marvel-af-imagines​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @nanie5​ @imboredsueme​ @gemini0410​ @aiaranradnay​ @babypink224221​ @mogarukes​ @xxwarhawk​ @sandlee44​ @shatteredabby​ @caswinchester2000​ @supernaturalwincestsblog​ @lauravic​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​ @teller258316​ @horrorpxnk​ @tommyleeownsme​ @marvelismylifffe​

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer​ @waywardprincess666​ @twistnet​ @saint-of-los-angeles​ @vader-kai​ @motleyfuckingcruee​ @sharon6713​ @kawennote09​ @2dead2function​ @nikkisixxwiththebass​ @iamtiber-andtiberismusic​ @jayprettymuchomw​ @charlyallise​ @you-know-im-a-dreamer​ @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings​ @estxxmotley​ @arianareirg​ @the-normal-potato​ @nikki-sixxtynine​ @jjjjjjjoshdun​ @just-a-normal-fangirl18​ @stella20131991​ @tarahell​ @wowilovenikkisixx​ @i-want-to-shoot-myself​ @motleycrueee​ @sams-serialkiller-fetish​ @getbackhonkycatt​ @are-you-reddie54321​ @flamencodiva​  @scarecrowmax​ @major-tom-is-a-junky​ @anyasthoughts​ @bandaids-not-groupies​ @ilovetomkeiferslips​ @kaitieskidmore1​

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff​ @unknownoblivion​ @deakysblueoutfit​ @fandomshit6000​ @sixx-mckagan​

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags: @kingbouji3​ @leximus98​ @thekidbakerinthetardis​ @crystalbaby12​ @shawnsstxtches​ @knockemdeadgirl​ @deansgirl1993 @haileynicoleseavey17​

[jeawrites]

BBS Derby AU: Important Others

The final bits of fun facts and some info for this AU! I might start writing an actual story here in a bit too, so look out for that!

Anthony-

Nicknamed by the team Jiggly Panda. 

He’s the coach, not even that strict of one but he is very committed. 

He owns the skate park the team practices at! He was also the one to pitch the idea of starting a derby team to his most regular skater (and really good friend) Tyler.

The team loves him, they will fight for him. And, he will fight for them (even though he’d rather not).

He’s the one who convinced Evan to join. 

“It’s just like hockey- except no ice, no sticks or pucks, and you go in a circle the whole time!”

Used to play when he was younger (that’s how he met Brock).

Very competitive when it comes to important bouts. Don’t question him.

The team got him and Brock customized varsity jackets with their respective names on the back and the team’s logo on the front. He nearly cried when he got it.

His laugh is just as noticeable as Jon’s, but his rage is a lot more iconic when its seen. He has broken clip boards. 

He wears a panda hat to every bout, it’s his own symbol for the team. They all love it a lot more than they say they do.

Brock- 

Moo Snuckle, he had the name back when he played for his old team (he thought it was funny then but now its just a little embarrassing). Everyone just calls him Moo.

He’s the bench coach! He helps sort out everyone on who’s going out onto the track and whatnot. If it’s not a bout, he’s usually just the assistant coach. 

Was brought onto the team by Anthony- he got a facebook message late one night.

‘Wanna help coach a bunch of dumbasses with my dumbass?’

He’s really patient with them all. Helps calm down people if they start to get frustrated. Most infamously, he calmed Tyler down after he threw his helmet off and broke it. It took him five minutes and a shit ton of crappy puns.

Brings in extra water for everyone during bouts, makes sure everyone eats before they practice (messages them an hour and a half before hand so they can snack on something healthy).

There's a joke running through the team about him and getting angry. It’s mostly just comparing him to a werewolf. 

On that note, it takes a lot to make Brock angry, so the moment he snaps it’s usually pretty unsettling and you know you’ve screwed up then.

He only got that way once when it was really noticeable, and it was during a bout when the refs weren’t making any correct calls (Joe and Mark excluded because they couldn’t make it that night- Joe was sick and Mark was making sure he was okay).

He actually sobbed for ten minutes after getting his jacket. He wears it to every bout.

Everytime they move up a rank in the charts Brock takes the team to dinner. He insists he can cover the pay, but everyone usually tips in anyways.

Brings extra face paint, duct tape, wheels, and other needs to bouts as a just in case.

Jaren-

Smitty!

He’s the local EMT. Goes to every bout to cover the injuries. 

Was the first one to make fun of Jon for fracturing his wrist.

Nobody actually knows where he learned to be a medical professional, but nobody really questions it either. 

He supports the team a lot, has actually come to a few practices to just watch and hang out with them all. He’s also gone to away bouts whenever he can.

Like’s to heckle the team jokingly, though he has gotten smacked a few times by Marcel and Ryan (not hard of course).

He’s actually really fun to have around too, makes a lot of good jokes and he is scarily good at timing shit. He’s helped them all at practices with that talent. He’s also pranked the entire team at least once with it.

Him and Evan both sort of bonded over being Canadian. Jiggly introduced them to each other as “fellow penguins”.

“My name’s Jaren, how aboot you, eh?”

“Evan, nice to meet you, eh.”

They both shared a few pieces about their old homes and then just sort of became friends. They both act like children sometimes though if kept in the same place together too long.

Him and Jon actually get along really well! Both of them like making weird jokes and acting out dramatic scenes. 

“And with this last breath, I die!” 

“Pfft- Del, oh my god, okay- Nooo!! My one true love, died to an evil oposer--- I curse you Evan for knocking my love out of play!”

The team either finds it really entertaining or really weird. Jaren was kicked out of a practice one time due to one of his and Jon’s acts, if that says anything.

Mark-

Gorillaphent!

He grew up with Luke and Jon, so of course they dragged him out to watch the sport once.

He really liked it, but he didn’t want to play it. But, the reffing seemed fun and with some encouragement he became the Banana Quads first ref! 

On Halloween they have a scrimmage where he wears this ugly purple elephant trunk that he got from somewhere. Nobody wants to question it because people know thats what he wants.

Eventually Ohm gives in and questions it and he gets called on a cut he never made later that game and forced into the penalty box. It happens five more times and then Ohm is paranoid the rest of the night.

“Gorilla, please!! I did nothing wrong--”

“Are you talking back to a ref, Ohm?”

He’s kinda evil, in short.

Not really, he’s actually pretty chill, he just thought that whole ordeal would be funny (and it kind of was).

He’s unbelievably good at making calls. He’s rumoured to have eyes in the back of his head, but he’s actually just pretty observant. 

He’s also pretty smart on top of that, so he can sort of tell when he’s going to need to make a specific call before it happens thanks to careful observing and knowledge. 

He has a purple helmet with only two stickers, one being an elephant, the other being a sticker of his name made like a logo.

Him and Joe bully each other on a regular basis, do not interfere or you will get dragged in and become part of whatever war they may or may not be in. Its all fun and games until the two are dumping baby powder on your head.

Joe-

Dead Squirrel (he used to play for, like, a year, but that was his name for it).

He met Mark, Jon, Luke, and Ryan a year before the derby stuff started.

Was dragged onto the team by Gorilla, but he found it really fun to meet new people and the traveling wasn’t half bad! Plus, he really enjoys chasing after the Jammers, especially if his in the lead. 

He wears makeup to bouts- it looks like his head’s missing a peace and a cartoonish brain is coming out (cartoonish meaning there’s not too much effort in it- not that its actually cartoonish).

Also oddly good at making calls when he’s supposed too. He catches some others might not.

He doesn’t ever get really mad, maybe over excited for the bouts. He’s never yelling out of anger though.

Luke and Gorilla are pretty protective over him. Joe’s a little more oblivious to when people are being flirty or a little too polite (he doesn’t want to be rude sometimes and tell them he’s uncomfortable, especially if he might be misreading things) that’s why his two tough derby buddies come in and save the day. 

It doesn’t happen often, just once or twice a year.

He’s loyal to the team, but holds no bias when it comes to making calls. If that’s questioned the team will prove it. (Joe has been offered a few bribes once or twice but his opinion on it remains unmoved and he remains as unbiased as possible). 

“Alright, I’m sayin’ it again. I am not, not going to call you out for back blocks, Marcel, quit trying to convince me and just try to not get back blocks.”

He’s the one who dumps the baby powder on people’s heads. He carries it around with him because its helps keep his bag smelling good, and it makes his skin soft. 

He and Brian are the only two who care if their equipment stinks. He usually supplies Brian with his own little thing of baby powder whenever its needed. 

John-

Mostly their as either an NSO or a fan. If its a home bout he’s usually an NSO. 

He works the score board when he’s an NSO. When he’s a fan, he’s cheering on the team excitedly or hanging out with Jaren on the side. 

He’s really laid back until he’s yelling at the team in excitement. 

“Yeah! Kick their asses ohm, you’re doing great!”

Ryan tried to get him on the team, along with Scotty and Tyler, but they were all denied. 

He does go skating with them on open skate nights though. He just prefers to keep it more casual than competitive. 

The team all chipped in to get him some custom ring with the team's name carved into it and a new vape. It was a present to him for being their number one fan.

He really liked the gift, wouldn’t stop smiling the rest of that day. 

Got an honorary jersey with the name Kryoz (he got to pick it). He wears it to every bout he’s a fan at.

He’s the one who suggests they throw an end of season party to celebrate everything they did that year. He’s also the one who gets stuck planning it out sense he made the idea, but he does convince Ryan, Tyler, Marcel, and Anthony to help out.

[whatevenismyaestheticidk]

Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 2

Person 1: But air doesn’t splash Person 2: How do we know that, Im splashing the air right now.

Person: Prove me wrong. Prove fish can’t see air.

Person: I think you underestimate just how poor I am.

Person: I just invented a new thing. No Romo. Like no homo but with romance cause I’m lonely. Get it?

Person: So yah I burned my hair cooking ramen.

Person: Well I figured he wasn’t an adopted iguana.

Person: Say it. You know god is watching.

Person 1 upon heading the news of George Bush’s death: Wait he’s still alive? Person 2: No he’s dead that’s the point.

Person: I got it. *five second pause* no I don’t got it.

Person 1: My name is (name), but you can call me yours. Person 2: Okay nice to meet you yours.

Person: Don’t drink it all fool.

Person: Bruh you could literally turn in a gay fanfic and he’d give it an A.

Person: Bruh, what is this triangular accusation?

Person 1:It’s call physics. Person 2: Yah but I don’t take Physics hence they should not apply to me.

Person 1: Discreet. Person 2: No discr-yeet *dabs*

Person 1: Be impressed with my ability to bull shit. Person 2: I mean, it’s gotten you this far.

Person: Why do I feel like finals are lowkey Russian roulette? Like okay I made it through most of them but I still have a few pulls of the trigger to go and one of them might get me.

Person 1: Murder. Just do it. Person 2: I didn’t know that nike was sponsoring murder.

Person: How do mermaids reproduce if they’re just like conjoined legs?

Person 1: Frozen Yogurt Person 2: Fro yo Person 1: Frozen YOgUrt Person 2: Fro Yo Person 1: FROZEN YOGURT

Person: All I have to do to commit suicide is jump from my parents expectations to my grades.

Person 1: I mean yah I cheated on that test. Person 2: Man your love life it DOOMED!

Person: I was seeing if I was tripophobic by repeatedly stabbing my finger with my pen.

Person: You do know that crickets exist during the day right?

Person 1: Hey (person 2), we’re friends right? Person 2: ….. What do you want. Person 1: You know, that sandwich looks real good. *person 2 hand them the sandwich* OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!

Person: Omigod (person’s name) is going through puberty!

Person: If you pulled my ear I would have ripped out your nostril.”

Person 1: She’s attacking me! Person 2: No, he’s beating a woman, that’s not polite.

Person 1: I know many things! Person 2: like what? Person 1: ..... Person 2: my point.

Person: My shoes will be sparkly red stilettos. Fight me Dorothy.

Person: umm hello Christmas miracle even though I’m not Christian. Come at me 15 years from now!

Person 1: you’d make a really good baldie Person 2: yah you have a really rest head shape

Person: you know teletubbies? Yah that but compressed.

Person 1: I mean how will you become American? Person 2: paint me white, I’ll get a passport.

Person 1: I’m so funny. Person 3: it’s hard not to be when your life is a joke.

Person 1: So I’ve decided that my new career choice is to make school specific memes Person 2: That's Plan A? Yeash... at least Plan B lands you some cash

Person: I’m so small and bitter I’m like a human expresso

Person: You know what I’d name a baby kangaroo if I had one? David Jowie.

Person: I’m just saying that the orange red glitter crayon is you.

Person: I feel like a 1940’s schoolgirl who goes to an all girl finishing school where embroidery is a required class.

Person: I started high school with straight A’s, now I’m not even straight.

Person: Yeah, I’d swear by comic sans.

Person: (Persons name)stop being depressy and you’ll be more sucessy

Person: You can totally be insecure and self absorbed at the same time.

Person 1: Are you kids okay? Person 2: Besides crippling depression yeah.

Person: I don’t know it’s just giving me pig vibes.

Person: What drugs where the animators for “Pink Elephants on Parade” on?

Person: long story short I make like a semi hot guy.

Person: If I where pregnant id just be like 'you put this thing inside of me, you're helping me until it's out.'

Person: These girls asked me what type of  guys I like and being the simple gay I am, I completely blanked

Person 1: why do you read on your phone if you get carsick at 20 minutes? Person 2:Because it works for the first 19 minutes.

Person: Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a bar. Just kidding they aren't old enough to drink. Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a school cafeteria...

Person: I can't do alcohol cause I'm not of age but I can do drugs because they're illegal for everyone.

Person 1: you can't have a breakdown, it's the third day of school. Person 2:... so?

*Group of kids singing Bohemian Rhapsody in twelve different keys* Person: For gods sake choose a key!

Person: For gods sake that was complicated. You didn't need to send out a survey to see which episode of which season of which show to watch.

Person: Honestly I'd chose stab over dab any day.

Person 1: She said she'd throw me out of the window. Person 2: She never did. Person 1: She never did.

Person: What language is this? *pause* Oh wait it's English.

Person 1: I mean it's pretty hit or miss. Person 2 from across the courtyard: I guess they never miss, huh?

Person: Chu-chu bitch. I’m a train.

Person after loosing game of kahoots: I’m going to ka-shoot myself.

Person: So basically I need to learn Hungarian for a song.

Person: No one screams their sneeze, its not human

Person: If I where a mosquito I would bite you and you’d get malaria and die.

Person: That tide pod aesthetic.

Person: No I loved Barney, Barney was my bo.

Person: If I where my own boyfriend I’d dump me.

Person: It's already a really good song but then it's dubstep so it's extra good.

Person: No one is EVER to old for coolmathgames.com

Person 1: Why are you using a poon? Person 2:….. Person 1: WHY ARE YOU USING A POON?!

Person 1: I’ve been blonde for 16 years. Person 2: So what? I’ve been brown for 16 years and you don’t see me coloring myself white!

Person: Yes. Scrape the sweat off my hand.

Person: No one cares about a square cube of water.

Person: We’re melanin intoxicated.

Person: Well my life may be a mess, but at least I’m not doing drugs. Yet.

Person: Negative 13 out of 10, do not recommend.

Person: Yah that’s gunna have to be a no from me.

Person: Fool me once......fool me twice.......fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass.

Person 1: Ya know, I think the Americans have the order of dates right JUST BECAUSE you can do 4/20/2019. Person 2: Okay but they’re still wrong though.

Person with AirPods: And where are YOUR AirPods? Thats what I thought you broke bitches.

Person: Salem witch trials bitches.

Person: La Croix, the AirPods of the soda world.

Person: Who needs a thermometer when you have… your hands!?

Person 1: It’s time to bring back SEXY MASQUERADE BALLS Person 2: It really is. I need an excuse to wear an incredibly uncomfortable dress that's so big I can't even walk through doorways. Person 1: And to wear a swan inspired mask that doesn’t cover enough of my face to deem myself totally anonymous enough to be half as bold and daring as i plan on acting that night but everyone else is on board we’ll all just forget about it the next day. Person 2: That's to specific for you to have made up on the spot, you've thought about this.

Person: It was lady Macbeth that drugged and made the guards drunk, without her Macbeth would just be like “I guess I’ll stab him???” Person: It’s like playing where’s Waldo but the page is India and I’m Waldo.3Person: Why are there so many frowny faces everywhere?

Person: This group chat is weird. It's either homework, deep philosophical conversations, or memes, there's no in between.

Person 1: Honestly, where DID it come from Person 2: The endless abyss that is the internet.

Person: Are you really blaming our generational depression on Jake Paul?

Person 1:  Oh. My. God. Guys. Keep your carbon dioxide away from my computer. Person 2: But sharing is caring. Person 1: But my computer doesn’t need this kinda of negativity in its life right now.

Person: Sweetie, if you think I’m going to stop wearing my favorite dress just because you kissed me in it, you are dead wrong.

Person with a metal straw: I don't drink broke.

Person: My whole life has become that sock on the floor. It's just there. When did life screw us over and then just ex? I’m just gonna write a book, and the last sentence will be life screwed them over and then exed. A story of the main character who gets screwed over, so I can get that 'it be like that sometimes' reaction.

Person in group chat: Positivity- I will make you feel better about being an idiot. Self Doubt- I will highlight all of your mistakes and set low standards for you so you'll never be disappointed. Me to Self Doubt- I'm listening...

Person 1: Sadly the disappointment never goes away... Person 2: Man we're a sad lot this time of year.

Person 1:It’s almost my favorite time of the year Person 2:Ahh yes. Singles awareness day, also known as chocolate sales at Walgreens eve, also known as... Valentine's Day. Person 1:... Oh... I meant rainy season.

Person: Being antivax is like swimming in shark infested waters because you're afraid the bridge could break lmao.

Person: I learned how eat a kumquat this weekend.

Person: It’s so sticky. It’s like clear cheese.

Person: Hamburger helper? More like hamburger help me pass this class.

Person 1: So I slipped on a grape… Person 2: You got K.O.’ed by a grape (person’s name), how does it feel.

Person 1: Look at me, I’m fine. Person 2: Well how many drugs did you take. Person 1: Several.

Person 1: Did you just say it’s ALMOST FEBRUARY? Person 2: Yes, it’s January 72nd.

Person: I knew your comedic standards where low, but poop jokes? Really?

Person: What? So are you insinuating the fact that reliablest isn't a word?

Person 1: [bitter old man voice] back in my day, tik tok was a kesha song. Person 2: Back in my day we had wires attached to our AirPods.

Person: There's a reason rainbows aren't straight. Just saying.

Person reading sheet music and seeing mf crescendo: I forgot that mezzo forte was a thing for a second so I thought it said mother fucker as a crescendo but mood

Person: He looks like a fine piece of toasted white bread.

Person: If life hasn't given me a fist bump by now, why should I give life one?

Person: we all died in 2012 this is hell.

Person 1: Who wants a pamphlet on condoms? Person 2: Why do you have this? Do you collect them? Person 1: Yah it’s my hobby. I have this one, one on HIV and one on teenage pregnancy.

Person: We live a society where reading about assassins and gory details is a hobby.

Person: Stop breathing so loudly on my thumb!

Person 1: I’m the comic relief. Person 2: For what? Person 1: Myself.

Person1: Who’s your valentine this year? Person 2: Me, myself and I. Person 1: Wow three valentines, you really can’t keep them away can you?

Person: Why do women gotta get their period, why not men. I wish I was born a seahorse.

Person 1: No we can’t all fit, her car is smol. Like you. Person 2:  Says you miss 5 foot nothing lmao. Person 1: Hey we’re the same hight so says you miss 5 foot nothing.

Person: No, that’s cheating no emotionally disabling people.

Person 1: Why is it that we’re talking about someone burning eggs on two different group chats. Person 2: Hey I didn’t burn them. Person 3: Cause why not?

Person 1:  That’s not how an Australian accent works. Person 2: This is why I’m not Australian, I don’t have the koala-fications.

Person 1: I’m Indian, numbers run through my blood. Person 2: That’s like saying I’m going to marry my cousin just because I’m white.

Person: So I ate veggies and hummus for lunch but then I counterbalanced it by eating a spoon full of straight Nutella.

Person: Seagulls, California Pigeons, what’s the difference?

Person 1: I humbly apologize and request your forgiveness. Person 2:  I humbly decline your request for forgiveness.

Person: I think I’m permanently stuck somewhere between “If you mess with me I’ll fight” and “If you mess with me I’ll cry.”

Person 1: It was implied! Person 2: What’s implied is your inability to accept that fact that I’m right!

Person 1: I got lazy because I was eating Pringles. Person 2: She values Pringles more than me.

Person: Yo, you be the crazy ex girls they be talking about in memes.

Person: I swear (persons name) if I hooked up with squidward in your dream your subconscious and I need to have a little talk.

Person: You get to die, and you get to die! Everybody gets to die!

Person: How do you just add a child?

Person 1: Look at this ink based pencil. Person 2: A pen?
 Person 1: This egg is all broken. Person 2: It’s like you then, you both broke under the pressure.

Lakshmi: Don’t force your opinion, voice it.

Person 1: If I where a fruit, which one would I be? Person 2: Sushi. Person 1:… Sushi isn’t a fruit.

Person: I mean it’s not straight up “Yo come here I’m gunna kill you.”

Person: Bye gays, bye (other girls name).

Person 1: No (person B) stop. Just shut up. You’re making me loose brain cells. Person 2: But… Person 1: No. Just no.

Person: Stop. That is non-consensual pizza eating.

Person 1: Cheese is not a vegetable! Person 2: Well it’s not a meat either! Person 3: Guys… It’s dairy.

Person: Idiots have priority over just regular dumb people

Person: God melted the polar ice caps just to make it rain for Noah then refroze them. I don’t know (kids name) I’m not god!

Person: You and I will go out, and leave them to their raw fish rolled in sea salad.

Person: Does anyone else get really energized when they change their room? Just me? Okay.

Person: I hope you know I will diss you guys to the end of the earth.

Person: Bruh talk to (person’s name) I don’t know sh… *notices teacher looking at her*…niahhh.

Person 1: The thing is, I don’t want to be 80 that’s rough. Person 2: Then just die at 50.

Person: You’d be scrambled eggs with hair.

Person: Seeing you two fighting, it’s like seeing a piece of light fighting a black hole.

Teacher: What can you tell me about probability? Student 1: I hate it. Student 2: Dont you mean you? Student 1: Yes both.

Person: My brain has the dumb I’m sorry

Person 1: If my first word was no, I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing for them my family disowns me after I renounce religion and systemic abuse. Person 2: Or…. You just need to make sure your last word is yes. Person 1: Yes to what though? Person 2: ‘Are you dying?’ Yes.’ Pessimism, just your style. Person 1: That’s true.

Person: My parents don’t message me, they’re the type of people who CALL. Where did I get my social anxiety from??

Person: Well guys it's been great knowing you I’m just going to drown now.

Person: I figured out a new diet regime, it’s called sleeping until noon and just not eating breakfast.

Person: The f on my birth certificate was the doctor paying their respects.

Person: Chocolates with raspberry filling are the sole reason I’m still alive.

Person 1: Isn’t Latin a dead language? Person 2: You’re a dead language!

Person: Hydrate before you diedrate.

Person 1: you have a son named Spider-Man? Person 2:  what noooo! Person 3: well don’t expose her!

Person: That awkward moment when you just really don’t care about people.

Person 1: (Person 2) and I will be over here with my virgin margarita and her water. Person 2: Hey! I want apple juice! Person 3: Why are you not drinking (Person 1)? Person 2: Because she’s to single, and also she’d strip. Person 1: Woahh! How dare you assume that I’m not drinking because I’m to single?

Person 1: Ya know, I think I’m going to have to jazz hands my way through hell. Person 2: All of us will.

Person: Brown town children, y’all find someone in India?

Person 1: Wow you have the best backup singers. Person 2: I only hire the best, at least 5 stars in yelp. Person 1: Well good because that’s  the sound they’re making.

Person: The cold kills everything, it’s like my heart.

Person 1: Remember the rolls I brought to school last year that I used to give you? The ones with paneer and the really good spices? Person 2: Yah? Person 1: This is not at all the same thing.

Person 1: What’s stevia? Person 2: It’s like sugar but no.

Person 1: Yeetus Skelettus. Person 2: Fetus Deletes? Honey, that’s called abortion.

Person: Anything for you. That’s what you said. Anything for you. But when I ask for just one bite of your pasta? No!

Person 1: I've written 1,300 words and don’t have a thesis statement or topic question Person 2: Yeah, you need to figure that out.

Person 1: you know I had a dream that you where in a romantic relationship with a toaster. Person 2:  wasn’t that your relationship with (ex’s name)? Person 1: you’d have more chemistry with a toaster.

Person: Can people read colors? Cause I am ooo.

Person: It’s like hands but medusa

Person: You look like a cardboard jellyfish that’s brown

Person 1: Two of us like boys. Person 2: We all like boys. Person 1: Two of us like ONLY boys.

Person: you’re like a reverse plant. You convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Person: Shhhhh. I’m not in physics, let me be dumb in peace.

Person: Why are you laying down like some greek god, get up you brown child.

Person 1: Do all of you just think you’re going to be single? Person 2: I already am why not keep the streak going to get a high score?

Person: and now cracks of light are coming out from around the sides like some sort of computer Jesus!

People 1 and 2: Rock Paper Scissors Person 3: shoot me please.

Person 1: not since 9/11 you can’t. Person 2: dang. You just tossed your whole country just to prove a point. I’ve never been so proud.

Person 1: what is an angle of depression? Person 2: it’s my life. Person 1: no it’s you because it’s not straight.

Person: Boom. Lesbians.

Person 1: Well what if two rocks just washed up at the same time and humans. Person 2: Evolution.

Person: Watermelon isn’t good anymore, I swear its just water with food coloring.

Person: You being dumb makes me want to correct you, sos too being dumb cause I’m on vocal rest.

Person: well (persons name) who have you a mouth?

Person: Teachers that grade late work deserve all the love and cookies and cake in the world.

Person 1: honestly I just want to die right now. Person 2: same. Literally same.

Person: I just feel like a single molecule lost in space.

Person: who’s gunna stop me? God? Damn him to hell.

Person: the line is not actually straight it’s like (students name)

Person 1: It’s your favorite sleep deprived gay. Person 2: But I’m my favorite sleep deprived gay. Self love. Person 1: We Stan.

Person 1: Why do you have a tool? Person 2: Because my hair is moist.

Person: eating lead was an otherworldly experience

Person 1: I have everything stolen from me 2: at least you have the tiniest bit of dignity left 3: what dignity? 1: exactly

Person 1:( holding up katsup) does this go on salad?

Person:I’m turning red! Me! A brown girl!

Person: I’m not trying argue that we should date, I’m just saying.

Person 1: what’s your biggest turn on? Person2 : a light switch Person 2: or then leaving.

Person 1: what is the most attractive retire on someone Person 2: my own face

Person: you’d be that one bar do white chocolate that just sits in the feidge because no one wants it

Person: that’s like saying I’d rather see your shirt than your face.

Person: why would I shut up when I can shut (kids name) down

Person: Subtle. Gay. Vibes. I’m telling you.

Person: just watch me write my ee on all the reasons why nick caraway is gay. Just watch me.

Person: Why are you stereotyping. What if the body doesn’t want trucks, what if he wants to be a fairy.

Person: being ace is basically just eww no but like forever.

Person: Stop trying to science your way out of being wrong.

Person: even if you did ask me out I’d still say no so then you’d even be rejected by a trash can

Person 1: you can’t read cheese color. Person 2: yellow?

Person 1: Think about  it like you’re brown Person 2: She is brown Person 1: Then act like it

Person: You’re not an ugly frog, you’re a beautiful human being. Person: I am. Very very dumb. And also. Bisexual.

Person: I was thinking of something smart but then I forgot what it was.

Person: I want to skip the crush phase and just make out with someone.

Person 1: The only way to get into the Holland family is to marry in through Paddy. Person 2: (Person 1’s name) this isn’t the royal family.

Person: Omigod you looked like the human version of squid ward.

Person: I want to be smart. Where can I learn smart stuff?

Person: But plant the seed and smoke the weed and chop the cane.

Peeeson 1: that is the definition of meter? Person 2: about 3 feet. Person 1: okay thanks America

Person 1: who’s Tom Holland? Person 2: Spider-Man you uncultured swine!!

Person: I am not a children

Person: Ohh dang yeah forgot chickens existed for a while

Person: Hey! Don’t narrate my water!

Person: I don’t read water.

Person: Think of it as a relationship. If you and your ex break up they are salty but you profit because you wanted to end it but if you end it weak, then y’all will argue back and forth and get nowhere with ending it while still exchanging insults.

Person: You know those really sexual mattress adverts?

Person: Oh please, you have the sexual appeal of an easy bake oven.

Person 1: weed is a gate way drug Person 2: YOURE A GATEWAY DRUG!

Person: (first, middle, last name), I love you to the end of the earth. But you are a daft child.

Person 1: She’s like that type of girl. She’s the long paragraph white girl. Person 2: Well that’s a niche if I’ve even seen one.

Person 1: swing you two fight is like watching two ants fight. Person 2: you friking piece of bacteria!

Person: I’m just an intellectual.

Person: I will murder your face off.

Person: that’s like a kilometer tall.

Person: It’s weird when I pet you horizontally.

Person: to be honest I thought those were rocks in a jar for the longest time. Turns out they weren’t.

Person: does she have a brother or gay tendencies

Person: I’m going to slap your hand like it’s a fricking spider.

Person: I like your face better blurry.

Person: every night at about midnight someone starts googling astrology

Person: I will kick you. I will murder your soul.

Person 1: I’m just going to marry a millionaire. Person 2: Where are you gunna finds a millionaire in this economy?

Person: Welcome to my tea party, there isn’t any tea to drink, but we have a lot of it to spill.

Person: Yah, it was something about sex or something.

Person: You’re all uncultured swines.

Person: I’m about as straight as a sine curve.

Person 1: They’re not Oreo’s you dumb head Person 2: I know that dumber head. Person 3 :Shut up dumbest heads

Person: As an ex foetus i can say with authority that if my mother had aborted me i wouldn't have known nor would i have given a fuck

Person: I’ve just accepted I’m going to fail this test. I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief already.

Person: Yes I’m blind that’s why I need glasses fool.

Person: what the fork do you want you little son of a biscuit.

Person: Anyway now I’m taking Tylenol PM and I’m going to actually sleep tonight that’ll be fun.

Person: I need all the hoodies. ALL OF THEM.