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findingmypeace · 1 month ago

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Sorry this is so long!

*Two weeks ago she was once again pestering me about the AC. This was maybe the 7 or 8th time. I’m pretty sure she’s afraid the AC is another thing she fears will give her cancer even though she wouldn’t admit to that.

I kept trying to reason with her but she kept raising her voice and refusing to let me speak. I lost my temper. To be clear, I did not hurt her or even insult her. I did yell about how frustrated and angry I was but I internalized the rest and hurt myself instead.

*After this, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I texted her that I was moving out and I had already scheduled tours for other apartments. I also reminded her of the cost of monthly rent for this place without a roommate. After that SHE decided she would move out.

*She then told my landlord I was moving out. Asked me if she could take pictures of my bedroom because to her friend wanted to move in. I said absolutely not! That whole text thread she was condescending and passive aggressive.

*With her moving out I decided to stay! But that means I’m back in the same boat of a few months ago. Paying the rent on my own when I’m already struggling financially while looking for a (good) roommate.

*I might get a very part time job to supplement my income just to get me over the hump of paying rent (all of it) while also paying my bills. That way I wouldn’t need a roommate and I’d hopefully have a little leftover after paying my bills. I am looking for very part-time jobs (10-15hrs) at the same time I’m looking for a roommate. Whichever happens first is what I’ll go with. Either option is a possibility right now.

*My roommate decided to couch hop at a friend’s and spent last week moving all her belongings. I stayed in my room as much as possible to avoid any chances of conflict.

*She might have gotten evicted anyway. She is a massage therapist with only a couple of clients. She has practically no income. My landlord probably shouldn’t have told me this but my roommate was so behind on rent that it would have been difficult to get caught up.

*I have empathy for the money struggles as I have been in that position. However, I was honest with everyone that I owed money to and got caught up as quick as I could. It doesn’t seem like she’s doing that or that she even cares. My landlord said she doesn’t think my roommate will ever pay the rest of her rent. That’s in addition to the $500 she paid me that I now have to pay my landlord since it was actually for her rent but she didn’t make that clear to me.

*She also owes me her half of the electricity and internet bills for August and September. I’m not even asking her for the part of July she was here. But she does owe me $281. I asked her if I could have it before she moved out. At first she gave me the run around and I got upset. Later she said she would pay it but was passive-aggression by saying that I was too dramatic and make a big deal about everything.🙄 I sent her screenshots of the bill and said I need the money by Friday Sept. 27. When I never got it and then mentioned it to her she sent me this, “U know unemployed..and dnt start wrk untl oct 7th..so my frst pychck” I gave her handwritten bills + screenshots. I was also very generous and gave her until the end of October to pay but just like my landlord, I don’t have much faith she will pay.

*Final note: I know I behaved poorly and I am ashamed and regret my behavior. Nothing she did excuses my behavior. That said, after some thought I think she really took advantage of the situation. She moved into a fully furnished apartment (aside from her bedroom/bathroom) she used my things, she would be upset with me if I didn’t live my life like hers, she refused to do any cleaning because she couldn’t touch it so I did it all and finally she spent 90% of her time watching TV in her bedroom. To sum it up, she basically wanted a maid, free rent in a furnished apartment, and to dictate how people live their own life. do all while sitting on her bed watching TV. And now I’m out $781 ($500 + $281).

*However she’s gone and I never have to see her again. I feel so much more free. I’m not walking on eggshells! Right now I’m in my living room! Freedom!

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angelicyoongie · 2 months ago

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hi ^^

I'm finally more concretely baaaack!! & I finally found time to properly dedicate to your amazing work!!

how are u doing? summer basically finishing so I hope you'll enter last days of summer/early autumn well rested, healthy & w/ no regrets <333

I finally caught up to Abundance & i'm soooo happyyy, i've missed this fic soo much xd

every ch left me w/ so many thoughts, sooo much excitement & just an overall sense of satisfaction at how smooth & rewarding your writing style & narration style are!

so i may ramble a lil bit abt it now if u don't mind XD (u don't have to read all of it or reply btw, no pressure ;D )

1st of all i wanna recognise how usually it's harder to keep tabs on multiple characters, even more if they are all important & heavily involved in the plot (esp in ff that are poly or w/ multiple different kinds of relationships & relations between characters ) but you've done nothing but a great job at handling this! each character gets their time, their moments, their own space & pace for development & involvement in the plot & it all feels very balanced!

definetely not in order '^^

i also wanna scream at the idea of the pack-mark?? i thought i loved already the hybrid concept but this just elevated it o the next level! & the difference in the mark being platonic or romantic & it being also different from the concept of mate-mark?? i can't wait to see how this puzzle piece fits into the canines arrangement in the future

returning to the 1st point, to strenghten my love w/ your writing style there's also the way u write the mc!! istg i'm this close to start crushing on her instead lmaoo. no but the way u wrote her feels way more natural & genuine than an air-head type or a perfect-never-makes-mistakes literal angel type, she feels like an actual proper developed character that is human & obvi makes mistakes but that is also a good person that has a pretty strong sense of responsability/duty, is very mature & level headed (finally an mc that doesn't behave/think like a 12 y.o lmao). i love how even tho she still learning & doesn't know everything already, she always tries to take the better choice either based on her judgement or by seeking to learn more abt the hybrids by asking them directly, w/out shame or fear to ask them abt themselves & hybrids in general.

wrds cannot emphasize enough how grateful i am that she’s not simply just flustered all the time & getting ping-ponged by the guys, she is her own person 1st & takes srsly her own responsibilities & actually wants to treat them as just any other human person while also accommodating & recognising their diff hybrid needs instead of just being all a condescending “omg, they’r so hot, omg their so cute” all the time. she wants to learn & respect their natural instincts & doesn’t fault them 4 having them but also wants them to wrk through the ones that may be harmful to others around them.

onto the last point above, i can't help but appreciate the constant in the story of hybrids not being able to simply wish away their strongest instincts or miraculously gain control over them simply bc of their love 4 mc’s .NO, there is an actual learning curve & episodes of dealing w/ shame,guilt & sense of helplessness, of predators feeling uncomfortable at feeling or having felt certain instincts as their relations w/ the preys change & evolve( as an example)

but at the same time in the build up of the story, the hybrids instincts are never used as plot device to excuse/justify actions that cross the limit (incidents/hybrid on hybrid crimes, agression, violence & the fact that even tho jin & jk were in rut/pre-rut, they were still adamant abt respecting mc boundaries & consent & not " get their way" & simply blame it on “instinct”bs .-. that was refreshing to see lmao)

in your wrld building, i really love how u handled the characterisation of the roles of prey & predator in hybrids & didn't go w/ just usual/easier expected stereotypical depictions. even tho there’s a difference between predators & prey, they still clearly have a consciousness & an important inner emotional reaction at seeing 1st person the reality of prey hybrids, they’s not just animals & they’s not just jerks/assholes, they are actual ppl that had each their own struggles, traumas & lessons & that up until now where only used to relying on their pack to survive or themselves (case of rogues etc) & drive off anybody else to stay safe but not all of them would go out of their way to hurt prey hybrids, it depends on the personal level & not all of them will be swayed off their feet & fall head over heels for the 1st prey hybrid they interact w/, w/out even getting to know them & later trust them & develop normally a closeness to them.

talking abt trust...

after the nth hurt, esp the predators(namjoon,jimin) have learned to surround themselves w/ walls & to not get attached easily & it’s very interesting to see their different inner fights in trying to let go of that while also struggling w/ the need to still feel safe & in control, 2 things that ‘till now they got by keeping to themselves & to their packs.

& although there have been multiple instances in which nj starting doubting mc or started feeling that safety slip away & started pulling back, or jimin & the others were in denial to their own feelings & pull to get closer to other hybrids outside of the pack & lower their guard, after a pretty difficult process & many mistakes it’s slowly starting to happen!! at a pace that i’m sooooo glad u actually took time & effort to develop in a way that feels very natural & curated! i’m sure that it’s not easy to write like this at all & every ch is different & sometimes the wrds don’t feel right or they don’t come etc but i’m just so incredibly happy that u continued to persevere through that in this fic bc the results are a damn masterpiece!!

ALSO,TESTIMONY TO YOUR SHARP & AMAZING WRITING SKILLS:

i nearly lost my mind at your description of nj inner turmoil w/ primary colours(blue & yellow) that clash & then merge into his confused uncomfortable state (murky green) . i literally kept re-reading that part bc it was just sooo pretty 😭

...tumblr doesn't have yellow so let's just pretend XD

& the subtle hints & nj fear of repeated rejection? i’m not sure if maybe i’m interpreting it wrong & it’s not smth that he already had to deal in the past but i’m looking forward regardless.

& the way no part of the plot gets neglected?? hello? bc while all of this is going on w/ the hybrids, mc’s life outside of this bubble is taking turn after turn w/ her wrk & it’s getting sooo interesting,soo intriguing w/ all the dots connecting & the mystery getting bigger & more rabbit-holey😍😍😍

& can i just say that i never trusted hajoon from the beginning?!!! his reaction to mc saying they don’t investigate money laundering bc it’s more of a “officer/investigator” job & him finding it amusing almost like he knows she’s technically already doing that w/ the other company but she just confirmed that the law firm can’t find the necessary info by themselves so other ppl get involved like investigators & informants …. & then the overlap of the 2 cases?? the cliffhanger?? the 3 names popping up again?? & she might have fallen into a trap & just fed hajoon the ones that might have worked w/ her to testimony against the shady company involved in hybrid trafficking... or actually hajoon found a way to frame those 3 to make it harder 4 their testimony to be believable in case they get involved to help mc w/ her case against Lim's. or maybe it's smth else entirely & i'm off my rails XD

we still don't know that much abt hajoon or mc's informant & there's always the possibility of a mole being at the law firm, maybe even somebody that knows mc closely, doesn't attract much attention & regularly looks through files,appointments & schedules😳 now i'm just freely speculating off my head XD

lastly bc i don't wanna exaggerate w/ the walls of rambling (might be too late tho so srry abt that😅), i'm absolutely knees deep infatuated w/ the little details/quirks/facets of personality u give each hybrid:

namjoon's intimidating edge being softened thanks to his clumsiness & puppy-like moments, jin's softer & more attentive way of subtly asserting his role as alpha/hyung, tae's simple often straightforward natural sweetness & inclination of being curious & playful, hobi's unexpected strenght & comforting sweet personality that often acts as a damper in intense moments, jk's perseverance towards more indipendency & his struggles w/ self-worth, jimin's stark contrast between how he carries himself in front of others & his own inner insecurities & fears of abandonment, yoongi's new perspective on love & it simply adding up not substracting at admitting his crush on jin & helping jimin accept his own changes in his emotions & feelings toward the other hybrids.

i have soooo many more but i don't wanna push it😫

in the end i just hope u had lots of fun & feel proud of how this series is turning out! obvi as always no pressure & make sure to take your time & continue writing when & as long as it feels right^^

hello!! thank you so much, i'm doing well 🥺 i hope the beginning of autumn is treating you well too! i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this ask but the truth was that i didn't want to share it just yet, lol 😭 this ask arrived in my inbox just as i was trying (and failing) to begin writing for abundance again. i kept psyching myself out, thinking that my break had been too long and i wouldn't be able to capture the essence of the characters anymore – so what was even the use of trying if i was only going to fail? but then this popped into my inbox and it just made me feel so.. seen. you pointed out and acknowledged so many aspects of the story that i love and feel proud of, and it was truly the boost i needed. i've been coming back to this almost every day as i've been writing, so i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖💖

i will say that having eight main characters is a puzzle that doesn't always line up, but i do try my best to make up for it whenever i can! if a character isn't very prominent in one ch, it's likely that they'll get more attention in the next or that i'm "saving" them for a bigger scene that needs more build up. but i'm glad you think i'm going a good job at juggling all of them, tysm :')

i always try to think of ways to add a little something extra to my stories, something that makes it feel like it's not just a direct copy of every other fic in that trope. dividing the boys into predator/prey packs and giving them different marks (platonic/romantic) was such a 'simple' but effective way of introducing a lot of drama and conflict into the story. i'm a slow burn girlie at the end of the day and i knew that the pay off of all of the packs becoming one would be that much sweeter if they actually started off truly disliking each other and not just becoming lovey dovey after two chapters.

i'm honestly so ecstatic that you love the MC so much, that makes me so happy!! it's taken some trial and error, but i've tried my best to create a MC/reader that makes realistic choices and is someone that the majority might be able to see themselves in. she's not perfect, she makes mistakes and she feels horrible when she does, but she also tries to fix things when she messes up and doesn't just expect them to work out on their own. it just doesn't make sense to have an MC that knows everything about hybrids when she's never owned one before (or really had any interest in them) so part of the challenge for her is to actually learn about their needs in relation to who they are as people and not just assume that she knows best because she's fully human.

thank you!! i've really tried to balance the human and animal part of them as much as possible in this fic. they may have instincts and knee-jerk reactions to situations that are fueled by their animal DNA but that doesn't mean that their human brain completely checks out. it was important to me to show that much like the MC, hybrids can have prejudice too, and that they can learn & grow over time. i'm so happy that you pointed out the fact that their instincts are never used to excuse their actions – that was one thing i didn't want to happen. like i said, they're just as much human as they are animal, so it's not a valid reason for them to ignore morals or boundaries.

yes! i didn't just want to slap a predator label on some of them and go "okay, you guys are scary and mean" and make the preys meek and docile for the entire story. they still have individuality and personality regardless of if they're classified as predator or prey. they have all had different experiences that have shaped them into who they are but that doesn't make them heartless or incapable of change. the predators have never noticed how much their biology affects prey hybrids until they met jinkook, so it makes sense that their guilt would eventually catch up with them when they stop thinking of the preys as competition that needs to be eliminated.

trust is a big part of this fic and it manifests in so many different ways! they're all finally beginning to open up and understand that they're safe, and i think it's especially satifisfying to see namjoon and jimin finally let their walls down :') there were times that i was worried i was going to slow but i really do think that this pace was necessary - there was just too much that needed to be unpacked and adressed for it to happen any sooner. and no, it has definitely not been easy, but it does feel more than worth it when i get such a lovely review as this 😭

i'm so happy you pointed out that scene with joon, bc i really liked using the colours to represent his emotions!! and you're not interpreting it wrong, it's definitely a big fear for him!

i know that most readers are only here for the boys and not so much the mc's work, but i really do think it adds to the story! there are some connections coming up that have been slowly been hinted at throughout the story so far, so i'm excited for that to come together soon. hajoon is very sus and you're right in not trusting him 🙈 i'm not going to say what it is exactly, but you are indeed on to something regarding the case 👀

i can't have my babies be one-dimensional! i put a lot of thought into making sure that each character had its own strengths and weaknesses and how that would affect them in different ways. truly, thank you so much for recognizing all of the hard work i've put into developing the story and the characters, it means more than you know 😭

i cannot thank you enough for leaving me such an incredible review/comment, it has made me cry (happy tears!) every time i've looked at it and it has helped me remember all of the things i loved about writing the story. i'm truly so so grateful 💖💖💖

#q: abundance

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alexanderlightweight · 1 year ago

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You have a lot of really cool stories where the Nephlin have their own culture and courting rituals, but what about Warlocks?

i have so many thoughts about this and i do have some meta written about warlock customs and cultures because i have... basically a field index i'm trying to wrk on in my spare time.

one thing that i headcanon across my universes is that the consorts of powerful warlocks boost and aid warlocks in their power, contrl and spells based on the bonds between them. so depending on what the warlock and consort/s want is how the rituals are picked.

spoils of war

i hope you enjoy!

Magnus stares across the gathering, counting the many kings and High Warlocks and Elders who have gathered here to witness his bonding.

Nearly none were at his wedding — Magnus’ mentally sneers at the word — and that was by design. Why waste the time of the downworlds most powerful for what everyone knew the nephilim considered a farce.

Normally this kind of bonding takes months to plan to advance — but Magnus knows that if he waited the amount of time it would normally take — that Alexander will only drift further away.

That is something that Magnus cannot afford, not now while he ties up the last of his deals on earth and in this realm.

Around them every warlock who has a consort has brought them along, a sign of respect that Magnus demands of them and that they obey. Magnus ordered them to bring their consorts at witnesses, something that is rarely done and even more rarely obeyed as there is no true magick that will force a warlock to bring their consort.

This however, is different.

Magnus is the reason why their consorts will now have more safety and it is why they listen.

Why they honor Magnus and his own bonding.

Still, not a single consorts face is uncovered.

For all they respect him and each other, the personal intimacy of a consort is something most warlocks are loathe to share and Magnus — despite being a king of hell — is truly no different in that aspect.

The Council of Elders gathers and Ragnor and Cat stand tall and alone, but side by side. Neither are interested in the bonds required of a consort and three other unbonded Elders join them as witnesses.

Only half of the kings have consorts and less than a third of the High Warlocks are bonded.

It means that the majority of the warlocks gathered will be witnesses, but there is enough bonding magic already gathered that Magnus knows he can do what he wants.

The types of rituals used depend on the depth of the bond being forged and Magnus knows what he wants from this bonding.

It means using not one of the oldest rituals, but one of the rarest due to the complexity of the rituals nature, the power it takes, and the rarity of the ingredients.

In the Labyrinth, Magnus descends the stairs, guiding Alexander down with a steady hand and magic that won’t allow his boy to trip.

No one can see Alexander’s gorgeous hazel eyes, or the way they often gleam with hesitant curiosity and wary intrigue. No one will see the uncertainty Magnus is sure is in his gaze. Or the evidence of how he hasn’t yet given himself over fully, not yet gifting Magnus with his trust and devotion rather than just his submission and obedience.

Alexander is magnificent and the mask only gives him more presence, the wings of the True Nephilim frame him as he walks and while his steps are confident and graceful, Magnus knows the tremors of his heart.

The array on the floor was painted with the mixed blood of both demons and angels and then coated with a seal made from the ash of nephilim wings and the tears of a siren.

The power and magic that has been singing in the array arches almost eagerly towards them and Magnus can feels Alexander’s shudder as it twines around him.

There is hushed, awed murmur when the ritual he’s picked is recognized. Magnus can feel both the surprise and the respect and also the confusion at his choice.

For tonight, Magnus will tie Alexander to him in the most intimate of ways so that Alexander understands that Magnus will not let even the thought of him go. For they will be tied together, even in their dreams and Magnus lets the silk made from his magic gleam with his power, forcing the others to avert their eyes as he kisses Alexander.

Magnus cuts his lip and then Alexander’s, using the stele that Jem had personally gifted him and that he’s yet to try on his consort.

With magic shielding them, he lets Alexander’s robe open and sears the demonic sigil of his house and name in a rune over his consort’s heart.

Magic captures Alexander’s whine of confused pain and Magnus steals his own name from a bleeding, beautiful mouth.

“Alexander.” Magnus croons and then he sighs, letting the robes settle back into place and the protection of his magic dissipates now that none can see Alexander.

It’s a pity that Magnus had to adhere to the standards of nephilim at their political ceremony, but that won’t be a problem going forward.

The small shard of Magnus’ soul that he carefully harvested is in the form of a little pearl and Magnus summons it, holding it out expectantly. Alexander hesitates for only a breathe and then he obediently opens his mouth.

Magnus pets over his tongue for a moment, spreading magick that Alexander’s whimpers at and then he smirks as every warlock and consort in attendance begin to hum.

The vibrations of magick continue throughout the entire chamber until the very walls are reverberating and Magnus’ own magic sings in his body as Alexander’s body accepts Magnus’ soul.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #spoils of war #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters

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