#MOTHER DO BE MOTHERING ON OCCASION
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Okay last but not least I’m throwing Hugos mom here for funsies
My beloved girl failure / Alcoholic mother who tries her best
#dnd#merano dnd#digital art#sketch#dnd air genasi#dnd npc#MOTHER DO BE MOTHERING ON OCCASION#seriously tho she’s pretty neat
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Sorry if this is a stupid question but like pinoy ka????
With varying degrees of acknowledgement from my mother but Yes :) i am filipino
#snap chats#never a stupid question round these parts …. that a fair question#its kinda funny tho- my parents attitude towards the topic#because my mom insists im white because i was raied in america Which. ????????????#i mean there is white in this gene pool from dada grandpa. with the most irish name Sullivan ever fjSosWKDJSJ#but mother this does not change the fact you and pa had filipino parents and you two are filipino and then had Me…. Presumbly a filipino…#then inversely theres my dad who’s like ‘always be proud of who you are ESPECIALLY of being filipino’#like alright old man … you got it i will make that a mission statemenr#like CULUTURALLY i gwt where my moms coming from she never talks about or has me engage with filipino culture#she gon get terse with me about it on occasion ans make fun of me for it … like ma’am that was your jon what#the one guy who actually tried to do that you. moving on it too early for this 💀#IN ANY CASE yes. Objectively i am filipino
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why is everyone pretending like cyberpunk edgerunners is good. the writing is so bad i hate it
#i'm rewatching it for the third time 😋#i remember seeing a post i think from demilypyro abt how 2077 was a shitty game that everyone forgot how bad it was because of the anime#and the anime is terrible#all of the reviews online call the ending sad but it's literally just 🧍♂️ okay so. big whoop.#which would've been great for like to explore the futility of doing jack shit in this world bc it can be taken from you like that#they did a good job of this in the first 6 episodes before the timeskip#but the timeskip ruins everything#and u have to balance how unsatisfying that kind of thing is w the reality of that's just how it is#but NO#it's SAD because EVERYONE DIED#we didn't get a chance to slow down with the characters and get an update post timeskip#and the timeskip negates everything interesting about lucy (my fave 4evr)#and it changes her from a strong independent character that's scary good at her job because she was a lab baby and trained since birth and#an archetype of character i like in cyberpunk (a character that looks sexy without sexualising themself or getting sexualized by others)#(and in context most people wear something similarly revealing regardless of gender or presentation and modesty is the outlier)#wait i take that back she does flirt with david in her introduction scene. but i think it was done tastefully to show that she's confident#in herself and her abilities. and not in like an i'm hot do what i want way. we see her in the same episode being genuine and vulnerable#on multiple occasions. and then it reveals she was just buying time for her group to ambush him#she's a really interesting and cool character guys i swear#but the timeskip takes that and turns her into a stay at home expecting mother damsel in distress wanting to settle down and start a family#and the domesticity is so disturbing bc its like. i guess she wants to leave the edgerunner life behind to live on the moon.#BUT THAT'S SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN WHAT THEY DID HERE#she doesn't pass the bechdel test anymore suddenly. who is she#they mischaracterised my blorbo so bad#it's like their writing budget got slashed mid show.
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I have two sides
Formidable Old Hunter responsible for violating the corpse of a Great One as well as remaining complacent in the face of unethical experiments on dozens of people who could not shoulder the burden of a guilty consciousness any longer
and
Welcome home, good Hunter. What is it you desire?
#bloodborne#lady maria of the astral clocktower#the doll#art#at this point in time nothing brings me more joy than drawing them#i love bloodborne#i love lady maria#dolly you are nice too#dude her hands are so fun to draw#you ever think about how maria looks like a pirate#and Mother Kos resembles a mermaid#i think about bloodborne sometimes guys. on occasion#bloodborne made me a feminist#converted me.#i love women now#i might actually do a write up on how fucked it is that the doll exists in the first place
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JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.
#jojo siwa#discourse#Her comment sections are VILE#I actually don’t hate her songs. They’re basically early-2000s new old stock and I like early 2000s music#Is she trying too hard to look like an “adult?” Yes. But that’s understandable.#What isn’t understandable is screaming at children for no fucking reason#and JoJo not helping at all when a girl was hemorrhaging out her belly button#when JoJo’s mother told the girl to “put a pad on it”#I don’t care how afraid you are of your parents; you END that shit the second you see it#I was raised in a cult and I actively sabotaged my parents’ preaching work on multiple occasions#I didn’t know if I’d get kicked out if they found out I did that; the only reason I still have a relationship with them#is because they never found out about my later sabotage#Dad preached to a waitress dangling a cure for her sons’ disorder in front of her nose as incentive to join and gave her literature#So I went to the restaurant with him and insisted I pay for the tip.#I gave her eight dollars and a sticky note with a bunch of keywords about the cult’s abuses to look up#The next time I went there#she said didn’t understand the sticky note and asked me while he was gone what I meant#I hate talking to people especially when I’m under pressure because I trip over my words even when I’m NOT anxious#But her kids’ lives being free of a cult meant more to me than avoiding a momentary discomfort so I gave a quick rundown#She thanked me and heeded my warning basically playing along with me and not saying anything to my dad about it#I was 20; JoJo was about 19 when her show was going on#She had no excuse for allowing her mom to do that.#At the very least she could have said “Oh god I’m so sorry she said that. Please don’t hurt yourself for my show; go to the hospital.”#But no. She didn’t do that. In fact she screamed at children and joked that if they were crying then it was a good show.#Bitch come here and do that in front of me. I double dog dare you. I may only be 5’5” but I fight dirty and I’m angrier than you#Sorry. I guess I do hate her… for THAT specifically.#Like yeah I’ve fucked up with the kids I help and yelled when I didn’t have to but I HATED doing it and tried to do better later#Why someone would SCREAM at kids on purpose for long periods of time for no reason is beyond me
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My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you
#i straight up asked her ''do you really think im a liar? do you think you raised me to be a liar?'' and she said ''yeah i guess so'' 😭#literally would rather live in fantasy land than have a conversation where she takes accountability for hurting me#its always bc she had a hard life and couldve made mine harder and everything im upset about is because of a man#aint no man tried to drag me by my hair out of the room because i refused to stop talking about how uncomfortable i was with a violent man#moving in! nuh uh girl that was YOU. and aint no man busted down my door on multiple occasions to beat my ass for#*checks notes* not wanting to continue an emotional conversation after i had already started crying and wasnt able to communicate#no sir that was YOU. that was all you and aint no man was even in the house during those times#and definitely no man ever told me that i was manipulating you and being selfish for telling you that letting a man move back in after he#broke into our house and attacked you made me feel unsafe and made my life worse.#no man brought up how traumatizing ur childhood was and then threatened to send me to live with ur rapist daddy#when i said id like to spend the summer with my dad if my only alternative was living with you and a man who threw knives at your head#and tried to strangle you several times#no man fucking did those things to me. no man ever told me i wasnt allowed to be traumatized by his violent behavior bc he had it worse as a#kid. YOU said that to me. many times. every time i ever brought up my pain to you. and you still fucking do that#you sprayed windex into your mothers eyes when you were 23 during a fight but if i start yelling after you push me to talk to u#and then insult me when im honest then suddenly its ''i Never acted as bad as you did and my parents were so much worse''#no. i fucking remember girl. i was alive for that. you were a nightmare and your parents deserved it#but you werent always a peach to me and when i talk about that its not an insult its the fucking truth#and i cant come to meet you where youre at because youre no longer in the thick of a traumatic and dangerous situation#you and your man are settled down and u felt safe enough to marry him and you run the house and earn all the money#and you've done a lot of work to heal yourself and be better but that man and i had to meet you were you were at when you were at your worst#in order for you to feel safe and secure enough to start that process. and now this is Not me at my worse#i shielded and protected you from my very worst because i always felt like if you saw your kid coming undone it would hurt you#but if you cant even meet me in the middle now then we cant have the relationship you want. it would be a lie#it would be a lie and it would be a betrayal of myself. bc i cant be honest with you right now#every time i try you take it personally and we get into a fight. so dont act like my distance and privacy#is some sort of slight against you or a punishment. i am trying to keep the peace
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sometimes (very often) I just sit there like ?????????
#mother has asked once again in all seriousness if i'd consider mr knight if he were to ask me out a second time................#mother the answer is you couldn't pay me enough money to do that. i'd literally rather be single for the rest of my life#between mr knight and the engineer boy ive learned quite a lot about what i'd like/DEFINITELY would not like in a potential boyfriend#and personally. PERSONALLY. i can't do this no more <3 i CANNAE HANDLE that kind of anxiety sadness insecurity confusion!#the anniversary of the day i wrote mr knight a ten page (occasion: valentine's day) love letter for the first time#and received a random Facebook meme and two weeks of radio silence in return is coming up and i must say#that kind of experience is enough for a girl to put her foot down and declare: that's enough. i can't do this no more :-)#anyway father too was like well all things considered mr knight's not the worst option. he's okay. he could turn out okay#to which i say. father. i may seem and feel desperate at times but i'm not THAT desperate.#no offense to mr knight he simply isnt the right person for me and im simply not the right person for him#i wouldnt be offended if he said you couldnt pay me enough money to date her again either (well. maybe a little. but still)
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(not quite logging back in just venting dont mind me <3 ill reply to everyone later mwah)
#i guess the worst thing about allllllll the times my mother tells me im crazy is that i know she's right lol#like the instant overwhelming need to sh whenever she says it or in fact every time we fight should be enough to confirm it 🤡#like i legit wont calm down until i physically hurt myself preferably also drawing blood. this is not Sane Person Behaviour#anyway whatsapp just spent a few minutes crying curled up on the floor in the kitchen pulling my own hair trying to ✨Not SH✨#because its stupid idiot motherfucking summer and everyone will See#and ended up doing it regardless lol#and its so funny cause like literally the moment i do it im perfectly fine and mentally and emotionally stable again 🥰😇#anyway i love my mom she's great but she did ruin my entire life and me as a person too#and basically all my adult problems can be easily traced back to my psychological nightmare of a childhood#except i cant blame her for that either because she didnt have it easy and she raised me on her own (and unmedicated too)#while my dad didnt really even get many occasions to ruin me on a fundamental level (like he sure did use those few chances he had but yknow#not nearly as many as my mom got)#so i cant just blame my mom and let feminism lose like that#anyway. she should never have had children and i there's nothing i regret more than her husband dying instead of me#ok logging back off byeeeeeeeeee
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He's upset because his sisters wanted to do something special for their mom on MOTHER'S DAY and wasn't invited because not only is he trans but he's not a very social person and tends to see transphobia unless the person is "nice".
#Reddit#Aita#This dude sounds exhausting to be around#He could do his own thing for his mom instead of making mothers day about his feelings#Is he working on becoming more social?#Or does he use his fragile feelz to bring an occasion down?#Or make it about himself?#Narcissism
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Today was a good day :)
#Today three strangers were kind to me in three different occasions. It was such a nice coincidence :)#I've been working on Akutagawa's birthday the entire week and today Akutagawa posts were all over my dash. I'm so happy!#I managed to do all the edits I had set up to and I'm glad :)#I dressed rigorously black and white and wore the black striped pants I bought because they reminded me of Beast Akutagawa's outfit#I did my nails black and red!!#My mother called me to congratulate on Akutagawa's birthday#I even baked a cake with a friend and they were so sweet /////#I'm so grateful they managed to make time for it even though they've been so busy and tired because of their job#More than everything I'm grateful they weren't weird about it#They found it a little silly but they never made fun of me. They helped me pick the cake.#And today they even told me that they looked up a video of the character to understand me better#Which TERRIFIES me because no way anyone could get a good impression of Akutagawa from a single video#But if we ignore that it was an unbelievably nice gesture :')#It's just such a foreign feeling because outside of my blog I NEVER talk about my hyperfixations irl.#Because when I used to when I was younger I was only met with scorn or mockery so ever since I started university I simply learnt not to?#And it's just so genuinely weird to talk with someone irl who wouldn't judge me for it–#and not really in the good way because part of me is still convinced that they *are* judging me for it.#Doesn't matter everything suggests the contrary. And I keep overthinking if I overshared about Akutagawa or if I said something dumb#But I'm trying it not to get to me. Today they've been nothing but nice through and through#Whatnot. The last months were very tough for some reason I'm just happy good things can still happen :)#I want to start the queue again now that I'm generally more free and done with Aktgw's birthday and everything.#I also have new exams the first days of April and the program is pretty heavy and wide. On top of following courses. I'll see what I can d#I'd like to start regularly posting again because I'm afraid if I don't I'll just sulk further in misery. We'll see.#Ah I need to catch up with the dash since I've basically not been on Tumblr for three days...#That's it just rambling. I hope everyone's days are nice too!!!#random rambles
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If you’re ever a co-worker of mine and I’m sick or just had a surgery and you decide “oh hey I’m going to bring over an unfeasibly large lasagna for a two person household to eat to cheer them and their family up” fucking. DON’T.
#yes mother’s co-worker did this. she’s very nice but girl I don’t want ur lasagna#putting aside the fact that there are pitiful few occasions where I’ll enjoy lasagna or that I’ll like the way YOU make it. bitch I’m having#a heartburn moment rn and the fucking thing smells like shit coming out of the fridge! I don’t need that in my life!#I already have to do so much gross shit rn!!! thanks for adding your shit lasagna to that list!
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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At xmas my mother said that she initially thought my knife tattoo was a bird and I thought she was insane (like, moreso than normal) but ykw. I see it actually
#I will not apologise to my mother ever but occasionally I do see things from her perspective. this is one of the rare occasions on which I#do not hate myself even more for the realisation#ash.txt#pretty heavy handed metaphor I know. but it's not at an angle I would normally see by myself#I'm not sleeping tonight I think so might as well be depressed on main again lol#aren't you glad you still follow me
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ok whatever it's canon that violante really enjoyed the circus bc 1. she probably never seen one in her whole life 2. i spent two hours there fr. if i say she had fun, she had fun.
#rena.txt#actually it's more like ohhh i've never been to an occasion like this one how..fun :D let's never do this again :| (<she likes it i said)#i do also want to believe the companions simply swing with her weird silly girl moment. they ask questions about the sudden weird change in#behaviour and she's like oh my mother never allowed any fun stuff when i was a kid mostly she locked me in my dusty dark room when she#didn't want to see my face and i just spent my time either rotting or facing her wrath and-(unlocks her backstory)#and everyone is just 🧍🏻🧍🏻🧍🏻ok. let's get you some clown makeup asap for the love of every single god. do u want a smoothie too or smth#shadowheart putting the clown makeup willingly for her: it's rotten work. i'll do it but christ alive#i just have a soft spot for traumatized character gets to experience smth new/like the first time with ppl that actually care about them..
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t h e trip awaits~~~~~~~~~~
#guess who managed to bribe the family onto a birthday trip to the cup noodle museum~? >this fool!!!!<#but my proposal to visit the cup noodle museum every day of the trip was rejected :( sads#but c’mon mans i’m paying for the flights and hotel i deserve my cup noods every day right~~~?#though my mother did say that she’d pay for d i s n e y l a n d and d i s n e y s e a for her trip contribution#and im just like. th. they’re different places????? (lives under a rock)#but anyways phase 1 of trapping my bro overseas so that he’ll have no choice but to wish me happy birthday this year is a g o!!!!!!!!#my bank account feels lighter but my excitement levels could n o t be any higher!!!!! heck yeaaaa mans let’s go to the cup noodle museum!!!!#though. when i told my coworkers that i was going to take a trip to visit the cup noodle museum… they all called me stupid in so many ways…#there’s no way that i like cup noodles too much right…?#i like cup noodles a normal amount i swear…………..#cup noodles are just. really rad yk~~~~? they come in so many different sizes and varieties!!!! and there’s a nood for every occasion!!!#there are fried nood varieties (yakisoba/mi goreng types) and there are ~fancy~ bowl noods too!!!!!!!#cup noodles are the best~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#cup noodles the loml <333333333333333#they won’t betray you by boiling over either!!!!!!!!!!! just add hot water and it’ll do all the work!!!!!!#remind me to get my coworkers souvenirs from the cup noodle museum… and maybe d i s n e y l a nd too. maybe.#inedible blubbering
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Literally every piece of cookware/dish that has ever been devised in the history of mankind: You can wash me with soap and water!
Cast iron skillet: tehe 🤭 soap and water? I guess that's fine if you like your steak rusty haha 🙈 I can only be washed with salt and oil and lemon and spit or I will immediately die haha so just spit on me okay spit on me and make me clean, mommy 🤗🥵😏💦👅👅👅
Me:
#original#and that is why (despite red meat being the only food i really excel at when cooking) i will never own another cast iron skillet#trick cookware that's what it is!#tryin to trick The Old Jack at his own game!!! the game of LIFE!!!! 😤😤😤#cast iron skillet#cooking#if it can't be put in the dishwasher then it's not meant for food or for this family#I don't agree with a lot of things my mother taught me growing up but I agreed with that as a child and I stand by it more than ever XD#I don't care at all if other people have them. I don't have to wash those.#mom has also always insisted on never owning dishes that can't go in the microwave#and with the exception of her fine china this was pretty much always the case. I don't have china i have no exceptions#the day i buy china is the day i am rich and out of things to spend money on it is just not a thing that i care for personally#do other places call all expensive sets of dishware china? as far as i can tell that is how my fam uses it#china plates are like. the special occasion fancy plates.#I just looked it up and it turns out china plates are made of something called bone china which is made using bones#or sometimes it's just porcelain#anyway my point is all my fuckin plates are paper or plastic cause i got no class and even less coordination!#i think that was my point lol. it doesn't matter#shitpost
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